#safe driving in traffic
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The one area of my life where I display the arrogance and confidence of a man is with my driving. I was brake checked twice early this morning and it made me think about some other interactions I've had on the road that spoke to drivers not liking me. I'm a speedster and I don't care. Genuinely get the fuck out of my way. Why are you going the speed limit? Why are you going UNDER?? If you're not going at least 10 over, I'm going to ride your ass (not even intentionally. It's just that if you're gonna go slow and I'm gonna go fast, I'm obviously gonna be close to you) or find a way to pass you. Don't get me wrong, I've never been in an accident before or gone out of my way to fuck with other drivers, but I just love going fast. It's to the point where I think if I ever got a motorcycle I'd probably die 💀 (I want one tho. That'd be so hot) Let's just say that I've had some experiences that speak to the fact I should probably slow the fuck down but idc. This is my one claim to arrogance fame. Speed the FUCK up, Jesus christ.
#This woman I've been trading flirts with was like 'baby I drive slow'#And I was like... Promise you'll stop for me?#I miss being in a college town cause I almost perfectly fit in with regards to traffic#Now I'm around old people and parents and shit who actually care about getting home safe#Sigh
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don’t trust your brain after 7pm (winter mode) don’t trust your brain after 7pm (winter mode) don’t trust your brain after 7pm (winter mode)
#marzi speaks#hi i’m fine. no intrusive thoughts or anything like genuinely i’m ok#just thinking a bit too hard about a bit too much at once#i loveeeee anxiety rumination brain. can we GO TO SLEEP#i offered to drive my dad to his pharmacy tomorrow since i’m getting my pneumonia shot there as well#it is a perfectly safe drive and i know the route exactly. but i haven’t been at a traffic light in months#i’m nervous 👍 i’m most nervous about the parking#i’ll feel better once i do it. and now that i offered to i can’t back down unless it becomes a matter of safety#which it won’t because i know i can do it#but if i avoid doing it now it’ll just reinforce the fear. so i have to push myself a little#and i’m overthinking with that and everything else. as per usual i feel like i have no time. which is Freaky Scary !!#hooray for anxiety rumination brain. oh hey i basically already said that. my mind’s running in circles can u tell :3#i AM okay tho. i’ve had worse anxiety spells. think i just need to get to sleep. and maybe have a cry first we’ll see
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look, going to work is bad. waking up is bad. and buddy, waking up with enough time to get to work? bad.
#shift starts at 8. cool! not too bad#it's at a different pool than i usually go to which is further away but not by much. okay#so allot 45 minutes to drive (it's 30 minutes but i like to round up just in case)#(well. it's 25 minutes. which i round up to 30. but with potential traffic delays and finding parking and - you get it)#so i have to leave at 7:15. ugh. that's early#but i also have to get dressed get ready eat breakfast and make lunch (or there'll be hell to pay) which takes me a half hour minimum#so i need to be awake at 6:45#... annnnnnnd let's round that to 6:30. just to be safe#fuck. i have to wake up at 6:30? man just shoot me into the sun#.mnlg
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lying on the floor having an existential crisis as a puddle
#freebooter4ever#i am soaked there isnt a dry bone in my body#but its supposed to rain all day so#i am debating whether the traffic danger is worth it or not to drive to figure drawing tonight#leaning towards no because i also still have a full week before my vaccine kicks in#best to stay in and work for another week i think just to be safe#it freaked me out when my friend brian got covid#like he has survived all three years without getting it and he is in a service industry job so lots of contact with people#if he finally got it NOW cases must be high#and *paul* is coming to visit and i want to be healthy and vaccinated for when he is here bc who knows what he got from international trave
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i dreamt i met laura jane grace and she complimented my goth makeup
#the parasite talks#it was a cool dream#me and my dad were driving in the avenue near my home when our car broke down so we had to cross to the other side for some reason#first there was only a guy i thought i was dead but he was sitting down#and my dad grabbed my hand like treasuring it? and trying to keep me safe from the prbably dead or intoxicated guy#and it felt nice#i was in full goth attire btw#and we reached the other side which was full of people now#and uhhhh i think we talked for a bit abt the car and traffic#and then i went to look for help for the car and ended in the subway station#and she was there and told her i was a big fan and she complimented my makeup#and her wife was there and we talked for a bit and then i told them i needed help for the car#and her wife just followed me around trying to find someone who would help too#and somehow my extended family was also inside that same subway cabin thing#and then i woke up#anyway interesting dream#also when the subway arrived the dead/intoxicated guy got up to enter the subway#dream log#???
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ramen dinner with the girls tonight 🤩❤️🔥
#i'm so excited !!#and also nervous bc we haven't hung out in forever 🥹#which means yay lots to catch up on & that's always fun#but also means they might bring up -certain- things that 😭 i do not wanna talk about ever again lol#that's the problem with not seeing each other as often is having to discuss things that happened months ago..#but what are ya gonna do 🤷♀️ it's hard to hang out regularly since we all got full time jobs#+ we live and work far away from each other & the weather always sucks & eating out gets expensive 😫#our vacations are on different times too#and now it's getting darker earlier so... yeah#it's getting less and less safe to hang out at night here and even in broad daylight too man 🙃#we gotta find more activities to do lol but usually i'll see one of them for coffee and walks & those are my fav#man i just wish i lived closer to my friends it sucks#cause even if it's easier now than it was years ago bc i can drive to them#there's alwayssssss construction and traffic the city is horrible#like we mostly just hang out in the suburbs now bc of that. sure there's less options here but at least we can drive peacefully and PARK#that's also another major issue in the city ugh#and it's not even like public transit is a solid option there's always problems there too 🙃#get ur shit together montreal !!!! i wanna love you but you're so hard to love sometimes !!!!!!!!#anyway. i do miss the city i can't even lie. i never go downtown anymore 😢#and i miss my friends !!!!!!!! 😭😭#i'm so excited we're hanging out i hope we can do it more and more often#**#update: ok they didn’t ask about any of the things i was worried about so we good 😇
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i saw a tiktok today that said that NJ is the 4th safest state to drive in, and like, yeah MAYBE but at what COST? you miss one turn and you have to do like 20 extra loop dee loops and add 7+ minutes to your journey. you need to get to the other side of the road? no problem, just turn in the opposite direction and take this jughandle around to this other jughandle which will spit you out about a mile away from where you wanted to be even though you were just right there on the other side of the road... lol and how are there this many cars in such a tiny state? is new jersey over populated? i live in a city!!! these are small towns. madness, all of it.
#let me turn left at an intersection i promise ill do it sooo safely#i know my way around here but cannot drive without gps bc the traffic patterns do not follow normal traffic logic
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for the Kid Behaviors ask game: 4. Playing a speaker on the bus
joke's on you i'm taking this seriously. so, how about a song that makes me feel nostalgic:
I'm with You by Avril Lavigne
#this makes me think of the drive from our house to visit you#I used to stare out the window at the trees and traffic passing by#and wonder what it would be like to live closer to you#while also thinking about how part of what made it so safe and magical was the distance between there and home
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bingewatching youtube videos from mostly us americans and canadians about dutch road and city design with my jaw on the floor. oh dear god. oh dear GOD there's a lot of stuff i take for granted
#i went into this being like. it would really suck not to have bike lanes! i would hate having to drive a car to get places!#and then i watched all of this footage showing direct comparisons of roads in different countries and different cities#and uh. hmmmmm.#currently i think i'm at. ARE there people in north america who HAVEN'T been hit by a car??? ARE YOU OKAY#i know the answer to that last bit is no. i know you already wish it were different. i'm not trying to tell you Did You Know-#i'm just saying that uh. i think i thought i knew!! and now i think i mostly really didn't!!#(if a car hits a person you blame the person for WALKING THERE? cars hit BUILDINGS ALL THE TIME??? and this is NORMAL???)#and also. i wish safe walkable bikable cities upon all of you. and also public transit and trees. many many trees right in the city center#(and smart traffic lights and speed bumps and continuous sidewalks and sane zoning regulations and no potholes and-)#*
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need Guz to hug me tightly for like an hour solid oh my god dhdjdkl I went driving for the first time in over a year and I chewed my lip raw 😭😭
I'm starting to look like a caricature of Anxiety with all these physical symptoms and signs LMAO
#this is so ridiculous fhfjdkdl#i do not like driving fjdkdl i know i should not be on the roads#but unfortunately i have to bc i live rural and also my parents insist i ''just need more practice''#practice is not going to fix the dissociation 😭😭 practice will not fix the Other Drivers being shitty and scary and reckless fjfkdl#it might make it slightly easier bc i wont have to think as hard about shoulder and mirror checks and roadsigns and speed limits#and where i am located on the road and intersection rules and whatnot#but like... it does not fix that i live in a town (and world lol) where ppl are fucking bonkers on the road#i had someone riding my ass for like a full five minutes. we had only two feet btwn us. MAYBE. IF THAT MUCH.#he was BIG mad that i was going the speed limit#and THERES A POLICE STATION LIKE RIGHT NEAR THAT AREA MY GUY IM NOT GONNA GO OVER THE SPEED LIMIT RIGHT THERE LMAO ????#also im a rule follower usually so i do tend to go Exactly the speed limit fjfkdl#and maaannn that makes people SO fucking angry dhfjdl its impossible to drive Anywhere without having someone right on ur bumper#its so ridiculous like... that's not helping anyone ??? ur not getting to ur destination faster by riding up on somebodys ass ???? hewwo ???#ANYWAYS. i drove around the neighborhood and then went up the highway and thru some intersections and then into the main core of town#and then i got my dad to take over from there bc it was lunch hour and the core of town is a lawless land at the best of times#MY NERVES ARE FRIED. i need Guz to act as a weighted blanket or one of those pressure therapy vests for me LOL#im like... shaking fhdjsl that was far more than i thought we were going to do for driving today good lord#IM OKAY THOUGH I SURVIVED I DIDNT EVEN HIT A CURB OR ANYTHING#i think I've only hit a curb once so far in all my times driving and that was on my second time driving on a road i think#so pretty good track record... im a very careful driver fjdkdl i work so hard to be safe and drive smoothly#during my driving test the only thing the test guy had to critique was that i waited at an intersection when i could've gone#but the reason i waited was bc i wasnt sure i could make it across the traffic lane before the oncoming vehicle got to us#so it was like. a safe decision overall but a little too hesitant which can actually be unsafe fjdkdl#AUGH ANYWAYS SORRY FOR RAMBLING SM#driving stresses me out so bad and my lip is all raw now and i have so many physical stress symptoms the past few days fhfjdl#after tonight i should be able to calm down a bit hopefully fhfkdl theres a thing we're going to tonight thats been stressing me out so bad#but after tonight it'll be over and hopefully I can get myself settled down again fjfjdkl#dandy.cmd#vent //
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Ride safe
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by busy I mean cars in multiple directions or across multiple lanes, with fairly regular traffic, but still crossable (so not motorway busy)
#not dw#on quiet roads this is fine for me#becuase its usually just one car#or all the cars are in the same lane#but i hate when drivers stop on busy roads expecting me to cross#when there's cars in several other directions i need to think about#or im about to cross multiple lanes#i feel pressured to cross before i feel safe#it takes the same amount of time either way#just be predictable#theres one road on my way to uni that when drivers do stop it sucks#because its coming up to a roundabout#one lane turns into 3#if you stop its not helpful#because any car behind you could go into any of the three lanes#*I* can't cross because you've stopped one#*I* need a big gap in traffic or the whole thing to be at a standstill#please keep driving and get out of the way
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my drivers test is on monday and I was feeling soooo confident like yeah I can do this I'll pass I'm a good driver but as it draws nearer I'm getting so nervous oiufghujhh 😵💫
#eeeeeeuyghghhhhk#like I know how to driver I'm a good driver like for the level of driving I'm at I am safe and follow traffic laws. but ough.#like what if I make one little fuck up too many. what if I don't look over my shoulders enough#also I'm kinda bad at parking 😭#I can park Safely like I don't stick out to dangerous degrees I'm just not very good at it ajsgkaydkgskd#also I'm scared I'll be so nervous that I'll do smth stupid 😭#like I'll be thinking about how nervous I am so much that I won't be thinking hard enough about the actual driving part#anyway. SCREAM#ghost posts#text
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Hey Southern California Drivers.
(sits down) (pats the couch next to me) Come on bud, you're not in trouble, I just need to talk to you for a second.
Dealing with a lot of rain, huh? It's scary! I'm scared too. The roads aren't built for this kind of rain, drainage is terrible, there's going to be flooding. And you're not used to it, and that makes it scarier.
That means you're going slower! No, that's good, that's not what I wanted to talk to you about. Make sure faster drivers can pass you, you're going to add to make people angry if you're going slow in the fast lane, but I think you know that already, you did a good job today with that. You should go as fast as you feel comfortable, and it's good that it's slower than normal, since you're going to be reacting to circumstances that are new.
Now...here's the important thing...*that doesn't mean you should turn your hazard lights on*. I know, you want to be more visible, and you don't want people to ram into you from behind. But if you have your headlights on, your taillights already do a good job of that. Turning on your hazard lights and leaving them on make it harder to see a couple things. Me and other drivers have a harder time knowing that you're breaking, and it's harder to know when you're changing lanes. That makes it *more likely* that I run into you. And neither of us want that.
This is a lot, and I hope you can get off the road and safe soon. It's better to wait out the storm inside.
But please, while you're out there, don't use your hazards all the time while driving in the rain.
#i had to drive theough the grapevine and across los angeles in the worst of the storm#and at one point ever car in front of me across three lanes of traffic had their hazards on#and oh boy do I feel for you#but please don't#its confusing visual information when its on for minutes and minutes and even hours just blinking in front of me#i promise I can see you#i am in fact looking real hard at you#save the hazards for when you are parked on the side of the road or actively seeking to park/exit the road#or quickly to communicate#i love you all stay safe#now I'm home and I'm gonna make some tea and watch the rain fall
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there's a special place in hell for people who block intersections
#because you pieces of shit won't just wait in the left turn lane until it's actually safe to go#and the pieces of shit in the opposite direction's right turn lane wont stop turning#it blocks thru traffic and then no one can move so it just gets gridlocked for like 3-4 traffic cycles#until someone has the great idea that they maybe shouldnt block it#why did i have to drive around like 5 cars just to go through. tell me.
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damn it traffic already
#dreaming ⋆。°✩#for the record i'm not driving i'm being safe dw#but still traffic is annoying ;-;#the road trip saga <3
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