#s4 had like two good parts that let it out for him but other than that? none

[oscillating-fan-whore3]

Anyways there's a lot of constructive criticism for the season but I am hungry for any content a producer will dump in my hands for a show I like I could honestly care less

(Mini rant in tags)

[mintiicinnamonii]

for a request:

how would Macaque + other characters react to seeing someone (reader) that they thought they'd never see again?

maybe the reader was trapped in the scroll from S4 for a time? or maybe they got separated during a big battle?

:]

notes: i didnt know wether you wanted a oneshot or hc but i did a oneshot with just Macaque. Hope you like it!

We’ll Meet Again

Macaque fiddled with his scarf, tapping his foot as he saw the crowds of people. He was never a people person, no, Wukong was the extroverted one of the two. Couples reunited, best friends exchanged laughs, families shed tears… Macaque felt happy for them, really he did! He was happy that Azure Lion was defeated and the world hadn’t almost ended. Again. But seeing these people reunite with their loved ones.. it made his heart lurch. He chuckled to himself, voice shaking slightly. “..You always did like the sappy reunions.”

You had been sucked into the scroll of memory decades ago, after going out one night, getting caught by the Celestial Realms and never coming back. Macaque, while he was definitely in a better state of mind than he was when you first went missing, still never got over you. Never stopped wondering where you were, and never had romantic feelings for anyone but you. Hell, part of the reason why he decided to become a ‘good guy’ was because he knew it would be what you wanted. 

So when the love of his life, his ride or die, his one true love, called out ‘Macaque?’, his emotions crushed him like a two ton truck. “..Plum?” He immediately ran up to you, pulling you into a bone crushing hug. For you, it was the first time you’d been touched in decades. He spun you around as the two of you laughed, tears in both of your eyes. He cupped your face in his hands, peppering you with light yet passionate kisses. “I missed you so much- I can’t believe you’re here-“ He hugged you like if he let go, you’d disappear. Macaque buried his face in your neck, inhaling your scent. “Likewise, Mac..” You chuckled, smiling ear to ear. You let out an “Oh!” as Macaque held your hand, dipping you down as the two of you kiss. It was passionate, yet warm and sweet at the same time. “I don’t even wanna know how- I’m just so happy you’re back-“ Macaque quivered, sobbing into your shoulder. Your heart broke, seeing your husband so upset. “Oh, Mac..” You hugged him, placing a kiss on his head. “Its okay. M’here now. I’m here.” You repeated these words for a while as Macaque broke down in your arms. “I love you-“ Macaque whimpered, relishing in the feeling of your warmth, your touch, your love. “Love you too, Mac. Always and forever.” 

[klausinamarink]

Sleep After You’re Fixed Up

rating: T | cw: Steve’s post-Russian torture, blood, injury cleaning | tags: pre-s4 Steddie, hurt/comfort, home-done medical treatment, the boys getting some rest and being little vulnerable together | wc: 753

written for @steddieholidaydrabbles | Dec 12: Only one bed

—

“Easy, easy!” Eddie hisses, desperately trying to keep his balance steady. But it’s a difficult task when he’s holding a definitely-concussed Steve under the armpits, who keeps leaning over to the opposite side and narrowly misses bumping his head on the wall.

“Goddamn…” Eddie huffs and pulls up Steve again. The other man manages to be on his two feet, but just long enough for Eddie to drag him inside the bathroom before he collapses on the ground. Eddie’s quick to cover Steve’s head from hitting any corners but Steve mainly leans against the bathtub, groaning.

For a moment, Eddie just stares down at the sight on his feet. Steve Harrington (his.. friend with benefits? Kissing support partner? Their relationship is too new to be really boyfriends) in his Scoops Ahoy uniform, beaten black and blue in the face, and drooling more blood than spit. Eddie still can’t understand how the hell he’d shown up at his front door if Steve’s current walking abilities barely passed a skills check.

Steve’s eyes are already closing shut and shit. There’s a medical rule that beat-up people can’t sleep right after injury, right? Eddie snaps his fingers in front of Steve’s face, making his good eye snap open. “Hey, Harrington, Steve. Eyes open, okay?”

Steve gives a long groan as Eddie scrambles to get the first-aid kit out of the cabinet.

He tries to keep his hands as still as possible as he carefully cleans off the blood and stitches the cut on Steve’s lip. Steve squeezes his eyes shut the whole time and barely lets a whimper out. But Eddie sees the way Steve’s hands clench onto his shorts and how his right foot twitches back.

Eddie attempts to swallow down the urge to get outside and just murder the bastard who hurt Steve like this.

After he’s done, Eddie helps Steve up and leads him to his bedroom. Part of him demands to drive Steve to the hospital and get him actual medical attention. But Eddie remembers the sober fear in Steve’s face as he had repeatedly whispered, “No hospitals.” And being the promise-keeper he’s apparently become, Eddie sighs to himself in resignation.

Steve almost falls face-first onto the bed but Eddie catches him and, very gently, lays him down on the side. Pretty soon, Steve’s snuggled in the blankets, a towel on the pillow in case the cut would stain the sheets. It’s after this that Eddie realizes his bed is, well, taken. It’s still a big mattress but Eddie’s not ready to sleep besides an injured man, let alone shoving his back to the wall just for extra space.

Resigning to a night on the couch, Eddie runs his fingers through Steve’s matted hair as a goodnight, turning to leave. Only to be stopped by a hand suddenly clutching on his wrist.

Eddie looks back to see Steve staring up at him with wide, pleading eyes. “Please, stay?” He asks in a hushed voice and winces.

Eddie almost says no. That they’re still strangers that it’s almost awkward to even lay next to each other in bed. But Steve’s eyes seem close to tears, which burns Eddie more than the hand on his wrist. Finally he nods, “Sure, man.”

After a quick change to sleepwear and turning off the lights, Eddie carefully shuffles next to Steve. They’re pressing close enough that Eddie feels Steve’s heartbeat from his arm. They both whistle out air from their noses, slowly breathing in sync. Eddie finally turns his head and looks back at Steve, who gazes back with drooping eyes.

“Okay?” It’s a dumb question with how obviously not okay Steve is. But in the darkness and brief slivers of moonlight, Steve gives a tiny smile and moves an arm so it rests on Eddie’s chest.

“Yeah. Now I am.” Eddie doesn’t really believe it, he can still feel Steve’s heart as it quickens. Without thinking, Eddie starts circling his thumb around on Steve’s palm at a leisure’s pace. Steve hitches in a breath before he lets it out slowly as if trying not to cry. He snuffles an inch closer so his head is closer to Eddie’s.

Eddie thinks in saying something but Steve’s already asleep, small huffs of rhythmic breaths out of his lips.

Part of him wants to slip out and get on the couch for tonight. But Eddie feels more warm and comfortable than he had in ages. Plus he doesn’t want Steve to leave his sight and get hurt ever again.

[eddiediazismyhusband]

Buddie in S8 and Slow Burns:

so those of you who follow me or see my posts popping up in the buddie tags know that i am still apprehensive of believing that we will actually get buddie canon in s8. tim has done too much to destroy my trust in him as a writer, and the show has baited us with buddie far too many times for me to easily take anything as a “clear/obvious sign that buddie is happening” when it is just as likely that we are being clowned yet again

that being said, IF we get buddie canon, it needs to happen fairly quickly. I have seen a lot of people saying things like “I don’t want buddie to go canon until the s8 finale” which, i disagree with.

I know a lot of people are saying this because they want a mutual pining era, but i don’t think these people are grasping the fact that if they waited until the finale, that is 18 episodes of tv to fill with something of substance for buddie. Another eighteen episodes; almost eighteen hours of tv. Even with a mutual pining era, that is far too long for them to continue dragging this story out.

Yes, i know that if they are going for a slow burn, that that takes time, but good lord it’s been 6 seasons of actively building up to a relationship… they’ve had six years of stalling, they need to go ahead and fucking commit to it, not take 18 more agonizing episodes of them dragging their feet. If you commit to them having acknowledged feelings for each other, they don’t need more than one or two episodes of mutual pining before it would start getting old.

realistically, we could have a fully fleshed out queer arc for eddie AND mutual pining leading to buddie canon within 8a. 8 or 9 episodes is MORE than enough time to build up to that with what they have to work with— they’ve reached the point for conceivably going canon so many times that it feels like there isn’t any build anymore; it feels like they’ve parked the bus a half mile from the station, and have started doing a thorough inspection on all the parts after driving almost the whole distance.

i know we love drama and angst and slow burns— that’s the appeal of buddie as a ship; but this slowburn has been way beyond fully cooked since s4, and there is no need to keep cooking it (unless they’re just baiting us, which in that case we need to decide when enough is enough and call it a day on this show)

this is not a fanfic that has no expiration date. this show isn’t going to last forever. i ship buddie because i want to actually see them navigating a relationship— i don’t ship them to be edged for 7 years just for them to go canon for one singular episode. i want to see them bask in each other’s love, i want to see them living together with the happiness they’ve been chasing their whole lives, i want to see them encounter speedbumps, and go through hardships together. That is why i ship characters. The chase is fun for a while, but I actually want to see what happens once the chase is over, and them going canon in the last episode is not narratively satisfying to me, and at this point feels like a copout for the writers.

We don’t know how long past s8 this show will last. we don’t even know if we’re getting a s9, let alone more. it’s already unheard of for tv shows to reach this longevity post-2016, we can’t just go into each season assuming that we still have all the time in the world for them to give us buddie. the reality is we don’t have all the time in the world, and this is the make-or-break season.

we don’t need 18 more episodes of stagnant growth. if they’re going to give us buddie, they need to stop dragging it out and just give it to us if they actually intend to, not cop-out and give us a last minute kiss in the season/possible series finale.

anyway, getting off my soapbox for now, but i just wanted to get those thoughts off my chest.

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Weekly Recap | January 8th-14th 2024

TWO MONTHS UNTIL SEASON 7!!!

I'm sorry it's late and I'm sorry if I missed anyone but my ao3 history was sortof a mess 😩 I think maybe some userscript I downloaded is fucking up my history. oh well. (or else someone has hacked my ao3 account and has been reading House M.D. fanfic?!?!? (how the fuck did I even get in my history, I don't even remember searching for anything that had House fics in the results wtf))

Complete

Followed By Ghosts by itsanapothecary (Canon Divergent, S1-S2 | 21K | Teen): Instead of hiding the truth about Daniel from their children, Margaret and Philip memorialize their lost son in every one of their remaining children's accomplishments. Growing up, neither Maddie nor Buck felt like they could escape the shadow of their brother. When Buck finds the 118, he gets a chance to be his own person, although the looming attention from his parents and weight of expectations threatens to jeopardize what he's built in Los Angeles.

no harm, no foul by callmenewbie/ @callmenewbie (Getting Together | 5K | Mature): Eddie knows how Buck feels. Buck knows how Eddie feels. So why is Eddie giving him the cold shoulder instead of talking about it?

what to do when evan buckley breaks into your house at 3:17 in the morning by oklahoma/ @malewifediaz (Love Confessions | 3K | Teen): After a night out drinking with Maddie, Buck (kind of) breaks in to Eddie’s house.

Wait For It by oliviacirce (PWP, Post-S6E6: Cursed | 8K | Explicit): Buck kind of liked not jerking off.

in a fix by rainbow_nerds/ @rainbow-nerdss (Getting Together, PWP | 4K | Explicit): Buck gets himself into a bit of a sticky situation, and Eddie helps him out.

we were lucky once (could be lucky again) by hattalove/ @hattalove (Post-Break Up | 1K | Teen): which they're not together anymore, but they can't sleep apart.

Mark Me Like a Bloodstain (Burning Red) by sirencalls/ @usersiren (Vampire Eddie, Post-S4, PWP | 3K | Explicit): “Eddie, you’re freezing,” Buck says, worry creeping into his tone. “Eddie, we need to get you to the hospital—” “No.” His voice is echoey and strange, definitively not human, and he picks up on the way Buck’s pulse quickens. Fuck, he’s scaring Buck. The human part of him is ashamed, guilty for making Buck ever be afraid of him. The vampire part of him is delighted, is even more wanting because of it, and that’s why he calls himself a monster.

Kinktober 2021 series by sirencalls/ @usersiren (PWP | 31 works | 68K | Explicit)

all that is you makes up all that is me by soyxunxperdedor/ @messyhairdiaz (Post-S6E11 | 1K | General): “I was just checking if you’re ready…” Eddie says faintly, trailing off as his eyes track the path of the lightning seared across Buck’s skin. -or- In the aftermath of a lightning strike, Buck and Eddie have a conversation.

Long Overdue by mansikka (PWP | 3K | Mature): Eddie realizes his feelings for Buck are more than platonic; what's he supposed to do now?

kiss me, kiss me (i don't know if i can let you go) by ipretendtobesane/ @useramor (Getting Together, Accidental Kissing | 10K | General): If anyone ever asks- they were both drunk. Eddie knows they weren’t, he and Buck don’t like to drink during the week, regardless of whether or not they work the next day. If they are working, they don’t want to be out of it on the job, and if they’re not they don’t want to be out of it when Christopher wakes up the next morning at 7:00am with more energy than either of them can handle. But there’s not really a good explanation otherwise. No other way to explain why, as Buck was walking out the door, Eddie leaned in and gave him a soft kiss goodnight.

til there was you by woodchoc_magnum/ @woodchoc-magnum (Hurt Buck, Married Buddie | 16K | Mature): In which Buck's appendix tries to kill him in the middle of a busy shift, and Eddie has to stage a dramatic rescue.

spread a little christmas cheer by soyxunxperdedor/ @messyhairdiaz (Post-S3E10: Christmas Spirit, PWP | 1K | Explicit): Eddie has a realization at the Christmas party and goes the wrong way with it.

do you love me? all you gotta do is say yes by fleetinghearts/ @shitouttabuck (Friends to Fiances, Crack | 3K | Teen): “It’s always pretty fun to see a former fuckboy from your grad school era bootycall list all domestic and settled down.” or, two boy best friends and an ex lover walk into a grocery store. everyone is on their normalest behaviour.

🔥 Echoes of Your Name by sirencalls/ @usersiren (Canon Divergence, PWP, Sex Worker Buck | 9K | Explicit): Of course he’s immediately wary of it. Porn videos have never worked for Eddie, so why would the audio version of them be any different? It’s the same strangers faking the same moans and whines as the other actors, just without a pretty face to go with it. Eddie thinks it’ll almost be less effective—seeing every tiny reaction that someone has to what you’re doing to them is part of the fun—so he doesn’t have high expectations. He doesn’t expect it to work.

marry me, eddie diaz by elisela/ @elisela (Marriage Proposal | 1K | General): There’s a long silence, and then, “you do that a lot,” Eddie says, looking over at him strangely. “I do what a lot?” “Ask me to marry you,” Eddie says. “I know it’s just a joke, but I feel like—” he stops and shakes his head, bringing his hand up to rub the back of his neck.

sit present in the darkness by elisela (Post-Shooting, Established Buddie | 4K | General): In the midst of stories about their jobs, catching up on what the kids have said, and making endless fun of each other, Eddie’s sitting at his seat with his phone face down on the table in front of him. Occasionally it will buzz and he’ll look around the table, pick it up when he thinks no one is watching. He types something quickly, looks over his shoulder at the kid’s table—where Buck has been since the food was brought to them—and puts it down again. Face down. Karen knows this game. She’s played it before, almost lost.

WIP

🔥 Precious & Fragile Things by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Small Miracles AU, Angel Buck | 13/? | 31K | Teen): Buck is the Fallen Angel of Petty Temptation, who has been tasked with tempting human Eddie Diaz to sin and enjoy life, but just a little. He thinks the job will be easy - get in, get out, go back to Peru to continue messing around with eternity. But when Buck arrives in Los Angeles, he finds Eddie is harder to tempt than expected, and more compelling than Buck had hoped.

🔥 and if i bleed (you'll be the last to know) by diazchristopher/ @captain-hen (Canon Divergent Season 6, Friends with Benefits | 2/18 | 9K | Explicit): or, an alternate look at season 6 where buck and eddie have been casually sleeping together since before the beginning of the season. somehow, this changes both everything and nothing at all.

🔥 Things We're All Too Young to Know by @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon, S1 through S6 | 106/? | 290K | Mature): This is a love story. Even if it doesn’t always look like it. Even if it doesn’t always feel like it. A look back on Eddie and Buck's lives up to now, and what led them to each other, interpreted from the current 9-1-1 canon.

Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me I should know by JJK/ @trenchcoatsandtimetravel (Demon Buck, Canon Divergent | 9/? | 15K | Teen): Buck is a demon with the power to help with pregnancy, childbirth, and infant health. When the Buckleys make a deal asking for someone to help 'save their baby', Buck leaps at the chance as it will give him what he's always wanted: a life on earth. But demon deals are tricky and neither of them gets quite what they're after. This is Buck's journey as he navigates growing up on earth and remembering how to help those in need.

🔥 for all the haunts and homes of men by euadnes/ @kananjarus (Canon Divergent, Post-Apocalyptic, Station Eleven Crossover | WIP | 12/? | 105K | Mature | Warning: Violence): The year by the old calendar is 2025. Home is gone. Home is a failed rescue mission and an echo of a memory. Home is a lost boy living in a wooden house by the sea. But first, there was a promise. Christopher, when it's safe, I'll take you back to your father. Buck had all but given up on keeping it after the world had died and everyone in it. But just as some oaths refuse to be forgotten, so the same can be said about the endurance of love.

🔥 Right Where You Left Me by hyacinthusbloom/ @thebloomingheather (Canon Divergent, Post-S4, Angst | 21/? | 106K | Explicit | ❗️Warning: Rape/Non-con): "Therapy?" Eddie suggests. Buck almost laughs, but instead says, "I'll go if you go." Because he had fully expected him to be chicken shit, to disagree, and instead Eddie, the bastard, replies, "Deal." Or Buck never tells anyone that he slept with his therapist and deals with the butterfly effect years later.

🔥 a foundation of trust and love we cannot see by lemonzestywrites/ @lemonzestywrites (FWB, BDSM, Sub Eddie, Dom Buck | 2/17 | 24K | Explicit): “It’s like I want to explore it and dive into it, but it’s not exactly like I’m seeing someone to try this all out with,” he explains, doing his best to keep down the annoyed huff that threatens to escape him at every other word. Buck nods to himself before steadily going silent. For a minute, Eddie thinks that this is the end of their conversation. “I can show you if you’d like.” Eddie nearly chokes on his beer.

Love Ends. by rowan_wood (Exes to Lovers | 5/17 | 7K | Explicit): But what if it doesn't?

Re-read

🔥 Relationship Advice from Complete Strangers Online by HMSLusitania/ @hmslusitania (Getting Together | 4K | Teen): When he gets home for the night, Buck turns to the one source of information that’s never let him down: the internet. But where does one go for relationship advice from complete strangers online? Which is how, ten minutes later, he finds himself on Reddit with a shiny new account and username. It takes him a while after that to craft his question for r/Relationships, but he thinks he’s got it pretty accurately conveyed before he hits post.

🔥 You Could Be The One I Keep by browney3dgirl6/ @hoodie-buck (Didn't Know They Were Dating | 6K | Teen): Eddie finally get's up the nerve to ask Buck out, his best friend accepting much easier than Eddie ever dreamed. Things are better than ever between them, the two of them becoming even closer, going out on several dates—only problem? Buck has no idea they're dating, like not even the slightest clue.

[thisapplepielife]

Written for the @steddieholidaydrabbles December challenge.

That First Terrible Step

Prompt Day 18: Free Space (Hurt/Comfort) | Word Count: 1000 | Rating: T | CW: Injury | Tags: Post-S4, Eddie Munson Lives, Physical Therapy, Recovery, Pre-Steddie, Building Friendship, Caring Steve, Eddie POV

Eddie is too tired to deal with any of this today. Physical therapy takes too much out of him and he doesn't feel like he's making any goddamn progress, anyway. 

He flops his head back against the pillow and closes his eyes. His leg hurts, and it doesn't want to cooperate, not with that much muscle loss. The bats took a big enough chunk, that he's having to learn to walk again with this new body.

Losing that much thigh muscle isn't exactly ideal, he quickly learned. It had gotten infected with what they called Necrotizing Fasciitis, and it was a particularly stubborn strain they'd never seen before, so they didn't know how to treat it effectively. So they kept cutting, whittling away, trying to save him.

Trying to save his leg. 

They succeeded, but now he needs to learn to walk all over again, missing part of what made it easy, before.

Steve had it, too. On both his sides, and the hospital was baffled at what they had been exposed to, together. 

Despite Robin's fretting, it wasn't rabies. The hospital decided it was from bacteria growing in Lover's Lake, and they went with it. They didn't really have any other choice, they couldn't exactly tell the truth about the fucking bats.

The kids visit. Robin, Nancy. His bandmates. They all come in shifts, and switch out with Uncle Wayne and sit with Eddie, to keep him sane. Motivated.

Steve. 

Steve's here more hours a day than he's gone. 

He recovered, his sides eventually healed, and he was released. 

But he hasn't gone far. Steve pulled him out of the Upside Down, and now he's determined to pull him out of this rehab center.

"I'm too cold to walk," Eddie says, stalling.

Steve takes off his yellow sweater, and pulls it over Eddie's head.

"Arms," Steve demands, and Eddie raises them. "There, now you can walk."

Steve never lets him get out of it, no matter what he tries.

He doesn't want to take steps that are excruciating. Trying to use muscles that just aren't there, not anymore. His therapist stands beside him, as Steve stands in front. 

Steve's walking backwards through the parallel bars with ease, as Eddie hangs onto them for dear life, each step a fight.

"That's good, that's really good," Steve says, and Eddie knows it's not. It's not good at all, but he's trying.

Steve counts him down. 

"Four more steps," Steve says, and it helps. 

"Three," Steve updates him, as he forces his leg to move.

Step two isn't as bad, that leg still works.

"One more," Steve says, and Eddie gathers up his strength, and takes it. Foot coming down through the pain.

"That's good, you did it faster today," Steve says, helping Eddie back into his wheelchair.

The therapist is there, leading the whole process, but they learned weeks ago that Steve was better at getting Eddie to work than they were, so they've utilized Steve, liberally. Day after day, Steve has helped him take that first terrible step, and all the painful ones that have followed.

That he's even in this facility is thanks to Steve. They released Eddie from the hospital once his wounds had healed, but he was unable to walk. 

He couldn't afford this kind of therapy, no way, but Steve made it happen. Eddie doesn't know how much it's costing, Steve won't tell him. Just that he needs to do it so he'll get back on his feet.

And Eddie wants that. 

All his wounds healed, in various levels of terrible. His face, his neck, his nipple. The defensive wounds on his hands had gotten infected, thankfully less so than his leg, but it had scared him so fucking bad that he wouldn't be able to play the guitar again. But he can, and expects it'll get better with time.

Steve brought in Dragon Slayer, Eddie's acoustic guitar. And Eddie sits and plays him for hours, rebuilding that strength.

The rest of the time, Steve is here, forcing him to use his damaged leg, as often as the therapist will allow, for as long as Eddie can stand it. 

Steve says they're getting him home next month. 

Eddie sees no proof of that, but if Steve says it, it's probably true. 

That's something Eddie's learned over these past few months. Steve has a gift to fix problems, to dig in and make change. 

He'd had no idea.

He's a good dude, that Steve Harrington.

And now he's arriving with food, a pizza box balanced on one hand and a brown bag in the other.

"Dinner is served," Steve says, sliding the little wheeled table over Eddie's lap, putting the box down. 

"Smells good, man, thanks," Eddie says, and he opens the box to see what they have. Supreme, his favorite. 

Steve pulls up a chair, and unloads the sack, bringing out cans of pop, and a stack of napkins. 

Eddie's already eating, but Steve is picking the black olives off his piece, first. Eddie's told him a dozen times to just order it without, but Eddie likes them, so they keep getting it the same way. 

Every Friday night is pizza night.

Mondays they get takeout from Enzo's. Big containers of pasta and breadsticks.

Tuesday is burger night. 

On Wednesdays, Steve drives twenty minutes to the Mexican joint Eddie loves, and brings back big platters of food, and sacks of greasy chips and homemade salsa.

Thursdays are a wildcard, and Eddie is always curious what he'll turn up with next. Soup. Sandwiches. Fish. It could be anything, and it gives Eddie something to think about besides his pain.

Steve spends every night hanging out in his room, keeping him company. He's dragged in a VCR, and they are quickly burning through the entire stock of tapes at Family Video. Debating what makes a good movie. Why sometimes bad ones are the best.

And Eddie feels normal for a few hours, because Steve makes sure of it.

If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @steddieholidaydrabbles and follow along with the fun!

If you want to see more of my entries into this month-long challenge, you can check them out in my Steddie Holiday Drabbles tag, right here!

[nexus-my-beloved]

Alright, welcome to my ramble about why Five/Lila in s4 makes absolute complete sense and why everyone tearing it down and making derogatory remarks make me ridiculously angry when they refuse to really think about it.

UMBRELLA ACADEMY S4 SPOILERS !

One of the biggest things I'm seeing people do/say about season 4 is that adding a love interest for Five ruined it or that Five "wouldn't do that" and that it was extremely out of character. At a glance, yes, that can make sense, but if you stop to think about it for five seconds longer than it becomes increasingly apparent that it MAKES SENSE.

Another thing people keep complaining about it the fact that Five was being a homewrecker/Five was being an awful person/etc. What people are doing is they are neglecting to acknowledge the fact that the relationship was as much as Five's persistence as it was Lila's. Lila was not roped into a relationship, she was just as much into it as he was! If you are going to call out Five, remember that you need to call out Lila, too.

Now that my baseline points are out there, let me explain:

When Five was in the apocalypse the first time, he felt completely alone in a barren wasteland. He was isolated, and young, and he wanted to get back to his family to save them. While he waited, though, he grew extremely attached to the first thing he could that gave him any kind of company: Dolores. He cared about her and even loved her, to a degree, proven by how he threatened to shoot Luther in s1 for trying to drop her out a window and by how he kissed the hallucination of a human Dolores when under the influence of Jayme's hallucination venom. Whether the love was real or not, he felt that it was, and it was a result of forced proximity and a lonely person wanting affection ("we only had each other")

When Five ended up trapped in the subway, he was lonely in yet another wasteland with more dangers than before. He felt isolated from the world around him, wanted to get back home to save his family (sound familiar yet?) but this time he was years older. He and Lila spent seven years on that subway, alone, together, and as would happen with forced proximity they got close. (I've heard people argue that they would've had a good sibling dynamic and that the romance ruined it, but the parallels between Lila and Dolores here are kind of obvious, I thought.) Five got attached to Lila, cared about her, and grew to love her (again, whether it was true love or not, that didn't matter when he thought he loved her, at least). In fact, throughout the entire show, Five has never smiled like he did when he was with Lila. He was happy. He did love her.

Often, Five is the one blamed for the relationship (that I have seen; I haven't yet seen ANYONE say Lila was also at fault). The issue is, Lila was the one who was married, the one who had kids, and yet she encouraged the relationship anyway. She didn't think she would get back to Diego, after a while. They were making the best of what they had, and personally, I don't think anything is wrong with the fact they had a relationship while in the subway - neither of them thought they would get home. Lila wasn't intending to cheat, she just didn't think she'd be able to get back to them and wasn't going to spend the rest of her life miserable. Five wasn't intending to play homewrecker, he fell in love and she encouraged it - what was he supposed to do? They were together of their own free wills. I think it's alright that they were together, but if you're going to blame anyone about it, both of them deserve blame because both of them were equal parts into the relationship.

I have heard people say that the stopping to rest was out of character and that it wasn't the same Five who fought 45 years in an apocalypse to get back to his family. That's the thing, though, isn't it? Five has done nothing but work to save his family since he was thirteen years old. 45 years in an apocalypse, a hellish two-ish weeks between saving them from a falling moon, WWIII in the 60s, and trying to get them out of a hotel that was hellbent on killing them. Then, when they get out, no powers, they all go their separate ways and he is no longer right with his family. He spends six years without them, working for the CIA, because working is all he knows how to do now (it's clear he hardly has a life for himself, seeing as everyone else's life was shown but Five had nothing outside of work), and when he gets put in another apocalypse for seven years you all are mad at him for wanting to have a break? For wanting something domestic? At face value, yes, it seems out of character, and it seems slightly selfish compared to his past actions, but when you really think about it IT MAKES SENSE HE'D WANT A BREAK. His life since he was 13 has been dictated by running himself ragged for his family's sake and now he might not be able to get home (similar to how it was in his first apocalypse). He's not at fault for wanting to go somewhere that he can rest. Wanting to have some sense of domesticity with Lila isn't bad.

The entire arc made sense! Five and Lila shared an experience with the commission. Both of them had been subject to The Handler and they could bond over it. Both had been through different apocalypses/problems (Hotel Oblivion, Lila was there in the sixties, they were now in the subway together) together, and both knew what it was like to get irritated by a crazy family (both, consequently, being subject to the Hargreeves). Sure, they fought in the past, and in past seasons their relationship would have never worked, but in that subway? In the subway it made sense. In fact, the show could have gone well either with or without their relationship, but adding in the relationship added to the watcher feeling the same level of defeat as Five did at the end. Losing everything, now having to lose his life, it gives the watcher empathy after watching the breakup.

Truly, I haven't seen anyone say that Five deserved sympathy for the breakup. He did deserve it, though: he was made to fall in love with Lila, and then the moment she found out they could go home, she was running off to leave like she was ready to ignore that they ever happened. He had been in love with her, made her gifts, called her "love", said that he "aimed to please" as he tried to make her happy, held her so gently when he'd kiss her because he was sweet and tender and this was the first real love he'd gotten to have, and he wanted to do it right. Then, the moment he told her she could go home, she was ready to leave, and she looked him in the eyes and said that "it was survival", practically throwing his heart to the ground and shattering it. They'd spent seven years together and he'd grown to love her and she made it seem like she was just biding her time and never truly loved him in the first place. Imagine how he must have felt? And yet he still loved her anyway. He'd known that she had been annoyed with Diego sometimes, and because he was in love and upset after getting his heart broken it made SENSE that he'd be bitchy towards Diego. Yes, she was Diego's wife, but Five was in love with her, and he was jealous that after everything they went through Diego still got to have her. He fought Diego to get out that frustration, even if (in my heart of heart's) it wasn't really frustration at Diego, but instead just generalized feelings of hurt. He dealt with it the way he dealt with things in the past: he fought. Five was forced to be a fighter, and it was the end of the world, it's not like he'd allow himself to cry. If anything, Five fighting Diego was the MOST in character thing they could've done after that, and yet people are upset at him for fighting his brother! That final "it's over, Five" that Lila said after breaking up the fight broke his heart, you could see that, in both his face and the way he blipped to the subway, ready to leave. He was heartbroken, there didn't seem to be a way to end this apocalypse, and again, Five wanted to rest. He loved her, she hurt him, and yet he STILL held her when she broke down after sending her family and the kids away on the train. He was strong, but you could tell he was hurting.

Their relationship wouldn't have worked anywhere besides the subway but it happening there made perfect sense, it made for a good feeling of Five experiencing defeat and the idea that he could never truly be loved, by family or otherwise. (Dolores couldn't reciprocate, Lila tossed him aside the second she could go home, Reginald surely was no father figure and there's no doubt he likely didn't see Grace as much of a mother, his siblings were always upset with him for some reason or other even if he was just trying to save them and out of this whole time, I believe he's only ever been called a good brother twice. He only got told that twice after his years of suffering for his family's sake.)

So, in conclusion, the Five/Lila arc made sense, it fit well with the story, there were good implications if you bother to think about them, Lila was just as much at fault as Five, Five was NOT super out of character for being a man just wanting a break (he even said it himself, it was a break, not giving up), and I'm so sick of hearing people just talk shit about them. Thank you for coming to my ramble, if you were a hater before, I hope I changed your mind, and to everyone that agrees with me thank you.

[bronx-bomber87]

Hello amazing fandom :) I have been itching for this ep since the moment D sent me the ep description for it. I'm glad they didn't spoil much of this ep at all. I have a lot of feelings for this one so might be so mini LOL Off we go.

6x05 The Vow

Oh my lord starting out hot with a romantic dinner and a kiss. Also want to talk about they both light up when they see each other. Like they're still in that honeymoon phase somewhat. They’re both so happy to see each other I wanna die. haha Lucy of course has to question the gift. Saying gift giving is not his love language. Damn they cute. Tim saying he is trying to change things up. I’m squeeing and we’re like less than a minute in everyone.

Damnit he’s so romantic with what the gift is. It’s her radio from last week. Oh my word. Lucy is in awe of this man standing before her. Oh my goodness we get a second kiss I’m squeeing so hard. *screams into a pillow* A thank you kiss no less. Loving how he has his hand wrapped around her arm. Pulling her in close for both misses. You know I should've known this ep was going to hurt with getting two kisses within the span of 3 minutes and a cute ass moment to boot.

Like in a video game where they let you stumble upon a bunch of ammo right before a massive fight scene. You know shit is about to go down with them supplying you like that. How I felt with getting cuteness and two kisses right away. I am so excited Tamara has appeared. Wouldn’t be the return of her if she didn’t cock block them. Tim shaking his head too. Classic. Lucy telling her it’s ok. Also LOVING that they have a pre-planned date night. Be still my heart.

Tim gets his cryptic ass phone call and immediately takes off. Lucy looks crushed for a couple reasons. First that he can’t stay. She was clearly looking forward to a night with her man all day. Second the fact he's so short with her. Breaking my heart 'Just wait.' Her Tim radar is going OFFFF Lucy looks SHOOK with his hasty departure. Her heart just walked out the door and it shows.

Oh my word I knew It would be from his military past. The blind spot for the most part we have with his character. I was hoping it would be. The Tim fan girl in me is psyched af. I was thinking who is this Ray and why is Tim so spooked? Then we find out this dude killed their friends and there’s a promise.... Uhhhh the promise is to kill him? Uh Timothy, my love you are a cop….

Oh Lucy is anxious af without him. Ugh she knows something is wrong immediately. Knows this man too damn well. Side tangent about to start. I know some people complained how long it took for them to get together blah blah. BUT I wasn’t. These moments right here are exactly why.

The fact that the very second he took that call she knew deep in her gut something was wrong with him. That is not a connection you get with someone overnight. That is years worth of working together, leaning on each other, learning about one another and seeing each other through a lot of things together. That connection and instinct on someone is built over time.

The beautiful recipe they have now wasn’t ready till we got close to it in s4 and even then they still had some tweaking to do before we reached S5. That being said I love her missing him. My guess is other than 6x01 they’ve scarcely spent a night apart. Also her Tim radar is going bonkers right now. She looks so sick to her stomach when she hangs up.

Tim seeing Lucy’s call going off and not being able to answer. It's clearly killing him. We see him take a beat and a deep breath. Clearly doesn’t want to be here rather be there with her. Last thing he wanted was his date night interrupted. Also she is his ‘go to’ for pretty much everything. You know its actively tearing him up to not answer her.

Oh my he was called the 'Reaper'? Holy hell why is that so attractive? Everything with Tim usually is. But hot damn that being his nickname in the service? I am fanning myself. Idk if that's wrong but I am haha But it does give us insight to who he was in the service tbh. You don't get called 'The Reaper.' without good reason.... Why Greer thinks Tim is going soft on him.

I do love Tim reinforcing the law also very attractive oh my goodness. You tell ‘em love. I don’t love this guy guilting Tim into keeping this pact. He’s SOOOOO loyal he’s gonna keep to it. Even at his own detriment. The man shoulders SO MUCH he already doesn't need to. Ugh Tim saying they’ve built lives. Yes you have. With Lucy. The love of your life you walked away from tonight to be here right now. After this chat I knew this ep was going to hurt so good. I could feel it.

The jokes in the car are cute was hoping he’d ask Tim about Lucy. Sadly we didn't' get this. This whole situation makes me nervous af. God Tim looks extra fine in this episode street clothes on him are a wonder. A delicious one.

My god this list of crimes this guy has done sweet lord. Stole money. Called in an air strike on his own men when they came for him holy shit …Wasn't enough to bury in a shoe box.....fuck they both lied to get Ray’s wife and kid death benefits and if they bring him in it’s a problem.

Crap this is so bad Tim... Saying they’ll get fired from their current jobs and be dishonorably discharged from the service. I’m nervous…this isn’t a good situation. Also not surprised in the least he broke the rules to take care of someone. That empathy of his ran deep before it got buried by his Isabel trauma later on.

First off let me say Eric KILLED ME in this scene. I was tearing up at how tore up he is about all of this. Tim wanting to take the fall.... Damnit Timothy you have a life too. Don't fall on your sword my god imma cry. Tim’s integrity is one of his sexiest traits IMO. I too have a deep sense of integrity drives everyone I work with insane. He’s in tears saying he would arrest him. Oh my word. I'm crying again. Eric killing me softly holy hell. I'm so mad at Greer for putting that on him. I had a bad feeling about Greer the minute he guilted Tim into this side OP.

How dare you put that on my Tim. He already has so much on his soul. A chunk of it not even his fault. The man is a deeper empath than he gets credit for. He absorbs the feelings and pain of those around him and shoulders things he doesn't need to. I'm learning in therapy I do the same thing. My therapist told me one thing to be empathetic. It's another to feel responsible for other's feelings or the outcome of actions I've taken and how it affects others. I feel like Tim is the same way. He's such an empath he's taken that responsibility to the extreme and is carrying things he doesn't need to be.

I wanna hug him oh my god. His sigh when Greer left. My heart. I'm sure part of the reason he's hiding this from Lucy is the shame he feels. This man (Ray) stole half a million from the government then bombed his own people on his watch. Tim breaks the rules to make sure his widow and child are taken care of and its bites him in this ass. There is a reason he was/is so damn rigid as a cop. 'Rules matter boot.' His PTSD in a line. Anytime he has let his guard down and skirted the rules people have been injured (Mitch) or in this case killed. Ugh. My poor boy. The hitch in his breath like he couldn't breath that entire convo. I'm hurting so much for him in this episode.

Poor Lucy kept it together at work but lost it when he finally gets home. That look of hope when he walks through the door then instant anger. ‘Telling me you’re alive is not optional.’ Ugh she’s not wrong....I can only imagine what her anxiety was doing to her until he walked through that door. It's shown in her lines above. Her imagining him bleeding out somewhere.

She is not wrong it wasn't ok he didn't even tell her he was alive. I get why he didn't but he should've. Lucy straight confronting him. Asking him what the actual hell is going on with him? No one knows you better than her. You can't hide what you're going through. Tim of course wants to protect her from being fired and refuses to tell her what he's torn up about. Only alluding to it's serious enough if she knows she will be jeopardizing her standing at work.

Her saying 'Then what are you doing here?' God damn Lucy... telling it like it is. Holy hell. Poor Tim is so taken aback by her response. He breaks my heart when he says 'I came to see you.' Lucy has become his safe place. His comfort zone. So by default he came here to seek that comfort. She is home now and he came home. But she can’t comfort you when she doesn’t know what to comfort you for. This scene hurts to watch. Because he is DYING for her compassion, her warmth and just her. He is denied access because she is setting a boundary with this as she should. Tim needs to share the load with her. To tell her the truth. She is willing to risk her standing for him.

My god if she actually knew she would be kicking herself for how much he needs her right now. But she doesn't know so she sends him away. The tears in both their eyes His 'Understood'. Man is about to cry in front of her. I’m dying. Someone revive me. I’m dead and not in a good way. I’m crying. Eric and Melissa out here crushing it though. Gah Tim would rather blow them up and protect her than not ugh Timmmmmmm I get both sides of this. Tim thinks since this is pre-Lucy and could get her in trouble he needs to bear this alone. When she is begging him to let her share the load of this. Sending him away is her setting a boundary. That he needs to think not just of her but of them. To tackle things together. To stop protecting her.

They’re both hurting in this scene. But the issue at hand still is them only thinking in terms of 'Me' not us. Even though when one of them does this it’s to protect the other. That’s fine and dandy but when it come to them as a whole it’s a problem. Shit hits the fan they eject away thinking that’s the best course of action. It’s been an issue for some time this lack of communication. This is just bringing it to a head. They don’t think how can we tackle this together? They think how can I protect my person from this? Or protect their feelings by lying.

Also think that radio being in this scene was there for a reason. That radio is the representation of Lucy not telling Tim exactly how not ok she was in 6x04. She was so willing to pretend she was ok. And instead of leaning on him. Voicing that so they could tackle it together. She ran into the line of fire recklessly instead to prove herself worthy again. Almost killing herself in the process. Because she was in her head instead of communicating to Tim. These two gonna be death of me...

Wanna hug Lucy. She is desperate for any kind of help. So she reaches out to Nolan. John per usual is completely useless for her in a crisis. Man is as useful as using a fork to eat soup. These are the moments I miss Jackson for Lucy so much. He would’ve had a much better an answer. Then just ‘you're shit out of luck.’ That’s not enough damnit.

Nolan basically saying. "What are you gonna do?' with a shrug. If I could clock you John I would. I don't normally watch the preview for the next ep till I'm done assembling my thoughts. But with this one I couldn't wait. This is why Lucy goes to Angela next week about Tim instead. She needed a real grown up to help her with Tim.

We rejoin Lucy looking at her phone. Trying so damn hard not to reach out. To be the trusting girlfriend for her man. I know we're in a bad spot but Lucy calling Tim 'her man' gah yes please more of that. I am grateful for Tamara. She needs her right now since Nolan is useless af. Lucy is trying so very hard not to spiral out atm. She confronted him and it didn't go well. Lucy is feeling at a loss right now and rightfully so. I adore Tamara for making her laugh in this moment so very much.

The lesson's Tamara has learned is too damn cute. I loved it so much. Lucy needed this moment of levity and her pseudo daughter crushed it. We pan back to Tim also starting at his phone wanting to call. Ugh Tim what are you gonna do babe? You can’t kill him. Can’t turn him in. I feel sick lol Also once again amazing song to close it out. I watch the ep with my gaming headphones on. One because I love hearing Eric’s voice straight in my ears not gonna lie. Don’t judge me ha Also catch onto music more so with them on.

But back to the matter at hand…Now do I think they’re gonna break up cause he’s gonna protect her? I don’t. Their angst since they got together has always been productive. Is it gonna hurt like a son of a bitch before we get there? Yes.

My hope is this drives them to depend on one another more and not just straight protect each other at the detriment of the one they're ironically trying to protect. Better communication which has been an issue for some time. To learn to face these challenges not only head on but hand in hand while they do so. These are the types of things they need to learn before their relationship gets any more serious than it is tbh. So while this hurts like a lot it'll be good for them in the long run.

This season has EXCEEDED my expectations ten fold. If you aren't happy with this season idk what will make you happy tbh. I said the same thing about S5 as well. I cannot wait for next week. Which I am hoping is full of worried/feral Lucy and their reunion and growth from it. Phew feel free to comment any theories or thoughts on my first take thoughts I love them so. Also thank you everyone supporting these mini reviews you're amazing and makes the effort always worth it.

Side notes -non Chenford

Ok Aaron seeing his therapist at the bar excited for him I knew low key there would be something there.

Bailey and John seem so cold I know they’re on duty but even grey held his wife’s hand at the hospital…

Of course Smitty takes his break at a therapist office

Lucy’s joke about Celina omg LOL I'm impressed with such a solid joke when she was low key worried the love of her life was dying in a ditch somewhere...

Also clearly his therapist is a lying liar who lies but how can she not be? She's his therapist and WORK one at that. Be interesting to see how this unfolds.

[mrsjellymunson]

Knock At The Cabin [Flip Flopped version]

Written for @munson-blurbs and @corroded-hellfire’s excellent Flip Flopped summer writing event, challenging writers to explore what might’ve happened to their story if a plot point had taken a different direction.

WC: ~1k

CW: Not much in this part, but overall the series is 18+ so minors DNI. Post-S4, dark themes, hurt/no comfort, canon-typical distressing images, canon-typical brandishing of weapons but no actual violence, mentions of someone vomiting but it’s not described.

Summary and A/N: Thanks so much to Bug and Red for creating this event! I decided to revisit Knock At The Cabin, and see how Part One might have played out if the gang had a very different reaction to their surprise visitor.

NB: Spoilers below the cut - if you want to catch up on the story before reading this, read the Prologue, the original Part One and Part Two

There, hunched, shivering, soaked and covered in mud, is your friend. The one who’d died saving the town. The one they’d buried only a few days ago, after he’d been lying on a slab in a lab somewhere for weeks.

Eddie.

The increasingly noisy wind blows leaves and rain horizontally across the stoop. Inside the hallway, there’s silence. You all crowd at the door, mouths agape, and initially, none of you move.

You take in your visitor’s appearance. His hair is lank, wet, muddy and full of twigs and leaves. He stands, shoulders sagging, in filthy, soaking clothes, the wet material dragging his frame down further. He’s barefoot, his feet muddy and bloody.

His cheeks are gaunt, his lips grey, not the plush, rosy pink that they once were. He looks thinner than you remember, and his skin was always pale, but it seems lighter now, almost translucent.

Eddie finally lifts his eyes to you all. They’re sunken, red-rimmed, and have lost their usual sparkle.

None of you consider what events or twists of fate might have brought Eddie to you, only caring in this moment that he’s here, standing in front of you. He should be dead, but somehow he's here!

Dustin shoulders his way between you and Steve and takes his first good look at the strange visitor. At first he’s confused, incredulous, but this rapidly gives way to pure terror, as he lets out a high pitched screech over the sound of the rain. He abruptly turns on the spot and runs down the hallway, yelling,

“Zombie? ZOMBIE!”

Robin screams, hands coming to cover her mouth as she backs away from the doorway a couple of paces.

Steve reacts defensively, raising his nail bat as he steps outside, placing himself between Eddie and the party. Lucas takes Steve’s lead and grabs an old walking stick from a stand by the door, moving to join him and brandishing it like a weapon.

Steve yells towards Eddie over the noise of the rain,

“What are you? One of Vecna’s foot soldiers?”

Lucas continues, jabbing the stick at the air in front of him,

“A demon? A lab-grown demogorgon? Get back!”

Will is swaying, rubbing at the nape of his neck. Robin and Jane try to comfort him, the three of them clinging to each other in tears.

You hear quick footsteps behind you and glance back to see Mike rushing to the kitchen, followed by the distinctive sound of someone throwing up.

Steve spreads one arm out and signals for Lucas to get behind him, hustling him back through the opening, slowly retreating as he yells over his shoulder,

“Everyone get inside. Now!”

You watch as Eddie stumbles backwards, eventually stepping off the stoop.

You seem to be the only one who’s concerned rather than terrified. You try to shoulder your way through them all to get outside, see Eddie properly, but the movement of their combined retreating bodies pushes you back into the hallway, and you’re unable to get a proper look at him, let alone go out to him.

As soon as everyone’s inside Steve slams the door, locking and bolting it and scanning for something heavy to brace it with.

Without looking around, he barks,

“Robin, get the satellite phone.”

Robin, wide-eyed, stammers,

“B-but we’re only supposed to use that in an emergency.”

Steve continues, his voice becoming more high-pitched,

“Well, I’d say that someone coming back from the dead qualifies as a fucking emergency, wouldn’t you? Call Owens. Now!”

Everyone scatters into the cabin. Robin tries to find the equipment Owens gave you when you moved here. Will and Jane comfort each other on the sofa and Jane wraps a blanket around her friend's shoulders. Lucas and Steve find bookcases and tables to put against various windows and doors. Dustin sits rocking near the back door, holding his knees to his chest, whilst Mike cleans himself up in the kitchen.

You’re the only one who moves to the living room window to look upon your friend.

He raises his head, initially simply staring at the closed door with a blank, stunned expression.

You place a palm against the glass, feeling like it’ll get you closer to him somehow. It’s enough to draw his attention, and as your eyes connect his brows draw up and you see a look of rejection and fear pass across his features.

You breathe his name quietly against the glass, and it fogs up a little.

His expression briefly turns to sadness, before he drops your gaze and runs a hand down his filthy cheek. Shuffling backwards for a few steps, he turns and shambles off into the rainy night.

He takes a few longer steps before pausing to look over his shoulder at the door again, and that defeated expression turns into a scowl as his brows furrow and his lips slowly curl up into a snarl. The softness in his eyes is completely gone, and is replaced with a steely black glare.

He turns away then, and you see him break into a jog. He’s bouncing his shoulders and flinging his hands out to the sides as if he’s building himself up for something.

He runs so far down the lane he almost reaches the highway. You nearly lose sight of him, and he appears only as a dark silhouette.

Suddenly the shape shortens as he drops to his knees, raising his face to the swirling grey sky and spreading his arms wide as brief flashes of lightning begin to light up the clouds.

The wind buffeting the trees increases, and starts to send larger branches, twigs and more leaves to smack against the roof and windows of the cabin

It’s almost enough to drown out the inhuman bellow Eddie emits.

But you hear it…

If you’d like to read the original series that this comes from, it starts here 😊

Thanks so much for reading!

My masterlist

As always, comments and reblogs make my world spin - I’d love to know what you think of this.

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[niiine]

𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐔𝐌𝐀 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒

Character(s). Misfit Class + Kalego Sensei, Balam Sensei, Opera, and Sullyvan

Synopsis. How I see the reader being treated in Babyls and in the netherworld in general as you’re Iruma’s younger sibling

Fluff

Younger! sister reader

-Finished s3 of Mairuma last night so I’ve reread the music festival arc. I just wish s4 will come faster becauseee I’ve been LSS-struck by Lilith’s Red Carpet and the music isn’t even out yet 🥺

Iruma is a BABY. Everyone around him wants to protect and cherish and love all of him. But you? Oh, hell you enter the room and they’re all either kneeling or cooing because how can you be such a cutie?

Sullyvan treats you and Iruma like toddlers. You want those dresses? Here buy ten each. Oh, you love that dessert? Opera, please bring more. You wanna go shopping? Take his wallet, his bank details, take his whole life if you must. Sully-sama just wants the best for you and your Nii-chan.

But unlike your brother, you’re not allowed to have a sleepover or stay outside way too late. Either Opera will come hunting you down once it’s past seven pm or your whole class will be the searching party.

Opera is much, much stricter to you than to your brother. They make sure that you are above prim and proper most of time. “You’re a lady in the household, (y/n)-sama”, or so. But they’re still as gentle as they could be and always prioritize what makes you comfortable.

No man. And I mean NO MAN, is allowed to come near you aside Asmodeous Alice (and somehow the other misfits as well). Pray that no one would dare to walk you home because,

“Apologies, (y/n)-sama. I thought you’re being kidnapped” “OPERA-SAN WE’RE LITERALLY GOING HOME” you’re freaking out at how bloody the nose of your friend is.

At class, you’re seated between Alice and Lead because Azzazz thinks that he should be in the middle of you and your brother so he can protect both of you in case somethings happens. And Lead insists that he must be beside you because you’re his “Baby sister.”

Ofc you’re part of the Iruma gang but you spend time with the other circle from time to time as well. One of your favorites is Nee-san and Krocell because you’ve never had a big sis and these two are doing good at the job. Sometimes they dress you up like a doll with Clarin just bringing out the most random (but cute) clothing from her pockets.

Jazzy and Garp spoils you rotten. You’re their princess and they call you as such. Jazzy loves to bring you shiny gems and jewelries that he bought because “You’re special” and then he’ll ruffle your hair. He will also let you play with his familiar.

Garp would cook for you. You’re tired of the foods from the cafeteria? Open up the kitchen of the royal one! You want sweets? He always keeps sweets. Garp also blows wind at you if you feel hot due to the weather.

When you’re tired, or if you just need it—like in the harvest festival, Agares is assigned to make you comfortable. Yes, the misfits have talked about it. They have no doubt about your strength and ability, you’re Iruma’s sister after all, but “What if the bugs and other insects bite her? We can’t have that!” Cue, Agares building a whole castle for you (As well as for him and Garp). When other students took shelter in the said place, he made sure you still have the Luxury of space and as comfortable as you can be. Even though you argue that no, you can fight, and a cramped space is fine for you.

Babe, you should have seen the way the other girls look at you with playful jealousy as Agares dotes on you.

Allocer and Sabnock helps with your study. It’s a great help when you feel a bit pressured at Azzazz’s teachings. Besides, you can’t add to his luggage anymore (a.k.a Iruma and Clarin). Sabnock mostly teaches you about the Demon king, but he’s also pretty good when it comes to other subjects. He’s gentle and caring, being the big brother that he is.

Aloocer, on the other hand, is a much stricter tutor. He gave you assignments and pointers. But his work certainly help you pass every exam, most of the time even sharing it to your brother when you two study at home.

Camui is also one of your favorite classmates. He’s not allowed of course to hog you, as the other twelve will go after his head, and he wouldn’t do that as well to the class’s baby! Because of him you can pet animals and beasts (With the help of Krocell) without getting hurt.

Sometimes you will hang out with Iruma and Lead and it’s so cute because it looks like two babies trying to protect a smaller baby. The two of them will spoil you as well and you’ll be the one to decide what to eat, what to play, or what to do for the day or for that specific time.

Purson Soi also gives you a special treatment. If he vanishes and the class can’t find him, one call from you and puff! He’s there. You don’t want to talk to that schoolmate who keeps asking you out? Big brother Soi will make sure your presence is gone in a moment.

It’s very subtle and he still treats just like the whole class, but Kalego-sensei just seems to “miss” if you’ve done something wrong. Or he would just let it slide “very unnoticeable” if it’s about you.

And Balam-sensei? You remembered how scared he was the first time Iruma told him that he’s a human? That’s he’s reaction to you up until now. The professor wouldn’t even touch without thinking that he’ll break your soft body. Tell him that it’s fine though because the man wouldn’t even breathe the same air as you in fear of intoxicating you.

BONUS

BigBro!Iruma in Evil Cycle is the cream of the crop. All hands off of you. All eyes off of you. “You want something now, Princess?” Say you want the whole netherworld and it’ll be at your feet. He wouldn’t barricade you or anything, but his eyes will be watching you and anyone around you. 

[all-pacas]

#he's good in a crisis ok#and a dumb whore everywhere else

I'm the anon that asked why you think Chase is generally stupid,except for some talents. Can you talk why do you think he's a dumb person with a single talent,instead of a generally smart person who lacks common sense at times?

I mean, the short version is I’m joking. Just like when I call Cameron insufferable. The show itself likes to call Chase a Dumb Whore.

But the fact of the matter is that Chase isn’t stupid. House doesn’t hire idiots, even if he calls his employees stupid roughly twice a week. We see in S4 that he will fire someone immediately (CIA chick) if they can’t pull their weight; Chase does.

He does, in show, have a bit of a reputation for being dumb and lazy, and I think both have their… moments? Lazy is easier to prove: Chase tends to be quieter in differentials than Cameron and Foreman. He’s the least likely to argue his points or insist he’s right. Time and time again, he also shows he’s a bit apathetic: in Safe he and Cameron discuss the teenage patient’s boyfriend. They need to test his sperm, and Cameron worries that they should tell the parents, who will not be pleased. Chase shrugs it off. They’ll find out when they get billed for the test. Cameron asks if he’s really okay with them finding out like that; he doesn’t even hesitate before confirming “pretty much.” He prefers to take the easier path.

The dumb is a little more… meta-textual, let’s say. First of all, Chase is an intensivist. Foreman and Cameron are top level experts in their fields of disease. Foreman always thinking neurological is practically a running joke; I’m not sure if fandom has pinged on the fact that Lupus is a running joke because Cameron keeps suggesting it, because she’s an immunologist. They both tend to brainstorm in their specialties, they know a lot of very specific illness and disease stuff for them. Same with House: he has a double specialty in infectious disease and kidney stuff. Chase doesn’t have that kind of background. He’s not an expert in any body part or type of sickness. He’s… good at keeping people alive. And that is not easy, and we see time and again that he’s really good at it. But he doesn’t have that same kind of knowledge specialty, and so in differentials he… contributes, for sure, but he doesn’t have the “it must be lupus!” “it must be neurological!” thing. House also doesn’t defer to him as much — House recognizes Foreman knows more about Brain Stuff than he does, so when it’s a brain thing, Foreman is expected to know. Chase doesn’t have that kind of niche, so he comes off as a little less… brainstorm-y. Cerebral.

There’s also moments here and there in the show where they outright joke or imply he’s a little dim. There’s the “dumb whore” bit and him choosing password as his password. Way back in episode two of the show, he’s doing a crossword puzzle with a medical clue and can’t figure it out; Foreman does instantly. We know about Foreman and Cameron’s very prestigious CV and schooling history (he went to one of the top schools in the US and had perfect grades; she interned at the mayo clinic). All we know about Chase until S7 is that his dad, apparently, got him the job. Also, because Chase is the dedicated Keep ‘Em Alive Guy, there’s a whole bunch of episodes where, say, Foreman and Cameron are trying to figure stuff out or searching the home while Chase is busily working on the patient, so he seems to do “less” than the other two. This is probably where the “Chase screwed up” running theme comes from too: he cuts people open more than the other two, so if there’s a physical procedure (and potential mistake), it’s him and not Cameron who probably made it.

But that all said, all jokes aside, I don’t think he’s dumb. I mean — he’s dumb, but he’s not stupid. He might not be a disease or organ specialist like the others, but he still is able to keep up. He’s very good at keeping people alive. He also has a real penchant for out of the box thinking and creativity that bumps his Solve Rate up higher than any of the other fellows. As early as the Pilot he’s able to come up with a creative solution to prove the patient has Ham Worms. He’s shown plenty of times that he is incredibly good at reading people; he’s a good manipulator and lowkey House’s default “schemes guy” in early seasons, when he needs to trick a patient (or scam money out of the S4 betting pools and Kutner). He’s able to completely see through House and Foreman multiple times; House even goes so far as to say it’s why Chase was hired.

I think if anything it’s laziness that’s Chase’s biggest issue. He’s shown plenty of times he can be brilliant and is observant and creative, he just rarely bothers or cares enough to try. He’s… kind of a spoiled rich kid. He doesn’t have to work hard for things, so he doesn’t. He’s passive and more than a little spineless, and finds it easier to go along than assert himself in early seasons. He might not be dumb, but people see him that way, and I really don’t think he minds. Because it’s easier, and because he doesn’t really care what Foreman (or whoever) thinks. The rare times he does go all out tend to be exceptions: he works his ass off to prove his father wrong in S1, and Treiber in S8, because he’s mad more than because he’s that worried about the case. He figures out the same thing as House in Control, why the patient is really sick, but only because he’s afraid he’s about to be fired. He’s lazy. He works well under pressure.

I’m going to be super pretentious here, but when I was younger I read the short story “A Good Man is Hard To Find.” The main character is a deeply unpleasant and vain older woman. When her life is threatened, however, she becomes desperate and kind and empathetic. One of the last lines is another character’s musing (and I've thought about this line nearly every day of my life since): 

"She would of been a good woman," The Misfit said, "if it had been somebody there to shoot her every minute of her life."

In a way, that’s Chase. He does great when he’s sufficiently motivated; it’s just that most of the time, he’s only motivated for personal reasons.

But he’s not stupid.

[steddieunderdogfics]

This week’s writer spotlight feature is:  @stevestark ! With fourteen Stranger Things fics and twelve in the Steve/Eddie tag, their charming works make waves in the fandom!

Our anonymous nominator recommends the following works by @stevestark:

they told me all of my cages were mental (so I got wasted like all my potential)

i think your house is haunted (your dad is always mad)

i was hitting my marks ('cause i can do it with a broken heart)

Eddie and Robin's Very Real Heterosexual Adventure

it’s hard to be at a party when I feel like an open wound (it’s hard to be anywhere these days when all I want is you)

Whether their fics are under 5k or over 10k, their world-building is so good! they have a way of making our boys feel so natural and the progression of the relationship always feels realistic. they were one of my favorites back in 2022 when s4 dropped, and they've made a sudden return to the fandom this year with new stories that are just as good if not better than what they had written back then! I'm always so excited to see they've posted something new, no matter if it's a new chapter or a whole new story. -- anonymous

Below the cut,  @stevestark answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

After watching ST4 Vol. 1 I was obsessed. Steve Harrington was one of literally two characters I loved from the very first time I “met” them (the other being Jim Hopper, which is why he tends to feature heavily in my works as the resident Dad) but I had never really been into any ships for him up to that point. The immediate chemistry he had with Eddie Munson though? Woof. I knew I had to write them, and it honestly was like I blinked and had suddenly churned out multiple fics. I stopped writing in general around the end of 2022, but when I got fired from my job in April, I got bored and reread my own works, which drew me right back in, especially because I had already written about 10,000 words of they told me all of my cages were mental (so I got wasted like all my potential) but had yet to finish it. I wanted to read the ending so badly myself that I simply picked it back up, and then next thing I knew I was writing more and more.

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

There’s so many. I’m always a sucker for some good old fashioned Hurt/Comfort or Angst With a Happy Ending, but I think my all time favorite has to be Enemies to Friends to Lovers.

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

Definitely Angst With a Happy Ending. I don’t think I really know how to write anything that’s just straight fluff or even straight smut. There has to be some angst in there, and I’m not really one for an unhappy ending. I’ll maybe do ambiguous, but I was raised on Nora Ephron and Nancy Meyers ⸺ we’re happy ending girlies.

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

The One In Which A Time Loop Is Fucking Exhasuting. by badpancake on AO3. I think about that shit daily. Every part of it is absolute perfection, and I'm in love with it.

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

Fittingly with the last question, time travel! I have a title for a time travel fix-it already, I just need to let it ferment a little in my mind so I can figure out how to do it in a way that feels at least somewhat unique.

What is your writing process like?

Step 1: Put Taylor Swift’s folklore on repeat. Step 2: Open GDoc. Step 3: Stare at GDoc. Step 4: Start writing the first thing that pops into my head and hope it comes out coherent in the end. Step 5: Publish and then immediately reread my work after it’s already live, and pray I only find minor mistakes that I can quickly fix before anyone else reads the fic and spots them.

Do you have any writing quirks?

I always have the title before I even know what the fic will be! 99% of my fic titles are Taylor Swift lyrics, and it’s usually a process of me hearing a specific phrase and thinking “This is so Steddie coded.” After that, I begin the above process, and hope I do the lyrics justice, because I tend to choose the ones that are the most poetic to me personally.

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

Definitely when I finish writing. I’ve tried holding myself to a schedule before with multichaptered fic in other fandoms, and it just never works out the way I want it to. I actually have an ongoing Steddie WIP that I haven’t touched since April, because I’m waiting for the next chapter to come to me fully before I start writing it, and I do kind of regret posting it as a WIP in the first place. I feel much more accomplished when I can just push the whole work out at once, i.e. my season 2 rewrite where Eleven is found and taken in by Eddie and Wayne, which I had debated posting as a multichaptered fic as I wrote chunks of it at a time. I talked myself out of it though, and despite the fact that it took me weeks to finish, once I got there it was so satisfying to hit that publish button.

Which fic are you most proud of?

Definitely i was hitting my marks ('cause i can do it with a broken heart). There’s a whole entire 58 track playlist to go along with it that I carefully researched and curated before writing even a single word of the story, broken down into specifically themed mixtapes in a GDoc; it's linked at the end of the fic, with a breakdown of which mixtape each set of songs belongs to, and it is my absolute pride and joy.

How did you get the idea for they told me all of my cages were mental (so I got wasted like all my potential)?

I had a passing thought one day about the fact that Steve seemed to just tangentially know who Eddie was by the time we met him in canon, and wondered what it would be like if he had actually sort of known him, and what that would look like. Then I thought about the legend of King Steve, and the fact that he probably did know Eddie, if only as a dealer, and the whole thing sort of wrote itself after that.

When writing they told me all of my cages were mental (so I got wasted like all my potential), what was something you didn’t expect?

Definitely how long it ended up being! The plot was truly just a passing thought, and I honestly believed I would write little vignettes of the two of them getting to know each other at parties over the years, but what actually transpired was some deep character work and a true slow-build to anything substantial between Steve and Eddie.

What inspired i think your house is haunted (your dad is always mad)?

Honestly the title itself! Sometimes, when I pick a Taylor Swift lyric and decide it would be a pretty fic title, that’s where the inspiration ends. With this one, I thought about the fanon (and somewhat canon) belief that Steve’s parents are assholes who don’t really love their son, and even though I’ve known the lyrics to folklore backwards and forwards since the album dropped in 2020, for some reason that line hit extra hard in April of this year, and all I could think about was how badly Steve Harrington wants to be loved and wanted, and I just started writing and didn’t stop until I was satisfied.

What was your favorite part to write from Eddie and Robin's Very Real Heterosexual Adventure?

The entire thing. I’m not just saying that, either. Sometimes, such a good idea falls into my lap that I actually do a proper outline, and with this one, I fully had little sketches going on and everything. I meticulously planned every date they would go on, and I knew exactly how it would end. Though, if I had to isolate any single part that was the most fun to write, it would be the last few lines. Just pure chaos. It makes me laugh every time.

How do/did you feel writing i was hitting my marks ('cause i can do it with a broken heart)?

That was one of my favorites to write, and it flowed out so easily; I had just finished rewatching all of ST, start to finish, for the first time since right before ST4 Vol. 1 dropped. And the only thing I could think about after finishing was that even though it made sense for Max to be cursed, it would have made infinitely more sense for it to be Steve. All we ever see in canon of Steve Harrington is his insecurity and feeling that he’s never enough for anyone; season 1, he thinks Nancy is cheating on him with Jonathan, and they try to keep him out of the Upside Down stuff. Season 2, Nancy actually leaves him for Jonathan, and tells him that he ⸺ and his love, and loving him ⸺ is bullshit. Season 3 is literally the story of how King Steve became a nobody who never wins a fight and falls in love with people who will never love him back. Even season 4 ⸺ when Dustin comes rushing into Family Video to try to track down Eddie somehow? Steve’s immediate reaction is “Oh, your new best friend Eddie who you think is cooler than me because he plays your nerdy game.” He’s never not a mess of insecurity and self-loathing, and nobody around him ever really does anything to rectify that feeling for him, so he’d be perfect Vecna bait. And the whole thing started with the playlist, really, because I had this idea that Steve is a vibes guy for music, rather than a style or genre guy, and then it was just a matter of writing around the mixtapes I’d mapped out. Which, naturally, led to breaking my own goddamn heart writing what I think it feels like inside his head, because I was  ⸺ and still very much am ⸺ that person in the friend group. Never the first pick, always an afterthought, the one people always think is fine but never bother to actually check if they are. So, I guess, it felt cathartic to get it all out somehow, but it was also just so deeply sad, because that feeling never really goes away completely, and I hated doing that to Steve.

What was the most difficult part of writing it’s hard to be at a party when I feel like an open wound (it’s hard to be anywhere these days when all I want is you)?

Probably just the physical aspect of shotgunning, honestly, and also trying to accurately describe the high. Weed doesn’t do anything for me mentally, and I don’t like what it does for me physically ⸺ to the point that I actually wonder if I have a mild allergy to it ⸺ so it’s not really something I can pull from personal experience in regards to describing it, which made it more difficult than I was prepared for.

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

Definitely the opening bit of there’s something about you in the moonlight (but your eyes go so well with the day). Both the Eddie intro and the Steve intro. It was just so fun to tap into that feeling of being a kid and getting hit with the lightning bolt of why people have crushes, but I especially have a lot of love and fondness for the way I described Steve’s desire to find his perfect match, and how it’s not rooted in sex like people thought of King Steve, but in his desire to find someone he’d have fun with forever.

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

I’m currently working on a multichaptered fic where Eddie lives, but leaves Hawkins the very night he’s released from the hospital without telling anyone; he does stay in contact though, and he and Steve end up falling in love through letters and phone calls, until, eventually, Eddie realizes that he ran away from the one thing that made him feel the most alive. At last edit, which was yesterday, it’s at 15 chapters and 18,000 words, and I’ve only just gotten to the point where Eddie and Steve are playing phone-tag. Also, if anyone is interested in a non-Steddie but still relatively Eddie-centric fic, I rewrote the entire season 2 canon in are we out of the woods? (are we in the clear yet?) and I am currently working on a season 3 rewrite, which will be followed by a season 4 rewrite, wherein Steddie will become canon. It’s definitely for the long-haulers, but I think it’ll be worth it. Actually, despite being non-shippy so far, it’s probably my favorite thing I’ve ever written. There’s just something about Wayne Munson as the world’s best dad that does it for me, and, as we’ve seen in canon, Eddie is surprisingly really good with kids. I like to think that he’d have been an excellent brother, and I got to explore that with him and Wayne deciding Eleven was theirs.

Thank you to our author, @stevestark, and our nominator! See more of @stevestark works featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

[simp999]

A New Home Ch. 37

Various! Splatoon Manga x Skilled! Isekai'd! Reader

Wc: 1.2k

Back to the start! Previous Next

"If you are, then tell us what part, hm? Name us two idols that are known from there." He didn't let you answer.

You stood frozen. What was up with this all of a sudden?

He tugged at your arm harshly.

"Answer me!"

"It's-it's not what it seems-"

"Then what is it?! How do you know us so well? Are you a stalker? Are you an otherworldly being? I've seen you lip-syncing some things some of us have said. You couldn't possibly know us that well."

Rider refused to let go of your arm as you attempted to wriggle out of his grasp, terrified. What were they going to do to you? Where was your team?

"I'm-" You took a breath in. In a fit of panic for your safety, you breathed out: "You're right, I'm- I'm from another world."

They held their weapons up, they were afraid of you. But more than you were of them, you weren't too sure at the moment.

"SPIT IT OUT!"

You began to tear up.

Mask is the only slightly understanding one. "Weeeapons down, iiidiotss. They're unarmed. Chill a biiiit. Why does this change anything anywaaay? You all respected theeem without issuesss before Rider brought anything uuuup."

You shook in fear as tears fell freely. You never expected this from your idols. From characters you grew to love so much, even more after meeting them.

Rider let go of you.

"...How do you know us?"

You took a breath in and rubbed your arm where he had held it previously.

"You're from a manga in my world."

"We're... characters?"

You nodded your head, beginning to regret everything.

"You're very real to me, though! And many other fans. I...care a lot about you guys. That's, ah, how I know you so well."

From behind you, you heard the clatter of a weapon against the ground. You quickly spun around, taking on a slight offensive stance- almost a protective one in front of the S4 without so much as a second thought. You froze when you recognized your family.

Now from behind you, Aloha spoke:

"... you made us like you on purpose."

You do a double-take between your family and Aloha. You really didn't want to involve them, but you were panicked and not thinking straight.

"No- I,, actually did my best to avoid you guys as much as possible when I first got here, not wanting to mess with the story."

"What changed?" Army spoke.

"I grew comfortable. I felt safe around you guys...until now."

Army's shoulders slumped a bit at the statement, while Skull's frown faltered. Rider's eyes grew wide, and Aloha's jaw hung open a bit. That broke their hearts. Your family? - No. Your... team, stood frozen.

Leo's voice cracked as he spoke:

"You.. were just using us? Because you wanted to be some main character?"

"NO! .. no, I'm. Cod, no. Absolutely not. You're my family- and you.. mmm,, there's a lot to discuss right now, huh.. well, to put it simply- I never knew you guys existed before our first meeting. I promise you."

"But you just said-"

"You- Tasha, Milo, and Leo- weren't a part of the original story. I have no idea where you came from, in all honesty."

"Is that why you were so nervous about certain battles?"

"...Yes. Goggles was supposed to be in our place, winning against Emperor."

Leo chuckles.

"Hah, sounds like him."

He smiles.

Rider speaks up:

"So you cheated in all your battles?"

"I'm.. not sure what you consider cheating. Here, I should probably explain everything, huh..."

You explain how none of your battles were 'canon'. Obviously, since you and your... team, aren't a part of the original story. You explained everything as best as you could, hands still shaking. You attempted to soothe yourself by toying with the hem of your top.

"..then your skill, where did it come from? Everyone knows that you came outta nowhere."

"That's... something I don't quite understand either. Back in my world there were a few video games that gave me my quick reaction time- but being so good with my main gear specifically? No idea how it worked out that way. Maybe from analyzing your guys' play styles? Just like we did together," You gestured towards your team.

... It would be too much to explain that they were from a game, too. This was the best you could do.

It didn't quite add up, but Rider let it slide once he caught the way your hands were shaking.

"Soooo, what you're saaayiiing is that you've been... isekai'd?"

You chuckle lightheartedly at the idea. You nod, you suppose so.

Everyone has questions on their mind, but nobody dares speak up.

Will your family ditch you now? Does anyone still not believe you? The silence was deadly.

"No matter where you came from, your skill is still impressive." Skull was the first to speak up. As surprised as you should be, he was the first you'd assume would be so nonchalant, with that air-headedness of his.

You sighed out. That was two of them that seemed to at least partially be on your side.

Rider stood silent, while the others began calmly asking you questions.

"We're...characters?"

You freeze in place, attempting to script what you'll say next. Rider looked defeated.

"This world is very real. To you, and everyone else here. Including me. My world-back home almost feels... fake, for me to think about it. Like it no longer exists."

That seemed to relax him a little.

"Don't'chya miss your family?"

"I'm with my favorite characters ever, Leo. You think I miss my family? I mean yeah but..." You gesture towards the S4.

"Oh.. yeah, I guess, huh? Man, meeting them for the first time must've been totally wack compared to how it was for us meeting them. Like...woah. That'd be like meeting Squidsune Miku or some idol like that."

You giggle at the comparison, and nod. Something like that.

"What was the most difficult thing to adapt to?"

Army with the technological questions, of course.

"No taking notes, 'kay? But...cod the texture of the tentacles sure are weird. And why are they so sensitive! Hair shouldn't be like that!"

You do your best to keep everything you say calculated and lighthearted, noticing how they're still not completely certain on you.

Aloha finally speaks up.

"I...think I need to think this over."

His tone was one you never thought you'd hear from the eccentric squid. Thanks to it, the S4 members thought over the reality of the situation. Army's brows furrowed, Rider's shoulders slumped, Skull glanced away when you looked at him, and Mask looked between each of his teammates with an indistinguishable expression. It's almost as if they all realized how completely insane you sound. Since when are they this trustworthy? They're the S4. Nothing should get past them. They then backed away from you, one at a time, leaving you with your team.

They stood stuck in place too. You really did sound insane, didn't you? Were you trying to gaslight them? What if they are just characters, then what? Do their lives even matter?

Why didn't you tell your fam-team, anything? Have you been cheating this whole time?

"I think we need some time alone, too." Milo barely appeared apologetic.

You messed up, haven't you?

Looks like you were back to sleeping on that damned bench.

.

.

.

Next Part

May. 23, 24

[raayllum]

Now, don't get me wrong, by all accounts, Rayla isn't a particularly 'good' assassin. She fails to follow mission orders when she's actually given them (1x01, 1x02) and outright defies them (1x03). A lot of this is because of her own sense of morality and compassion, which is exactly what Runaan criticizes her for and what Ethari worried about.

R: Your heart isn't hard enough to do whatever it takes.

E: I told Runaan you were too good hearted for the work of an assassin, so I know you did not betray them out of malice.

However...

There is still a reason that Runaan thought she would be a good assassin. Part of that is because he's a lot like Claudia, his love for his family obscuring a more objective reality. The other part is that, other than her 'too soft' heart, Rayla has what she needs to be an assassin in terms of the skill set (her blades were at Marcos' throat) and because she doesn't always listen to said 'soft heart'. In fact, she often tries very very hard not to (see a lot of early S1 in particular).

“Of course. For…” she chewed her lip and counted on her fingers. “Hrm, maybe fifteen years now. Anyway, you can call me Redfeather.” [...] Rayla felt her heart turn soft in her chest in just the way she hated. She wanted to know more, had to know more. “What did you do?”

Now, we see that in S4 Rayla is a lot better at well, not listening to that soft squishy part of herself, and that Soren was less good at appealing to her about it than Ezran. Some of this is probably because he pivoted away from the dragon and went after it from an identity standpoint — which, not only does Rayla have a pretty malleable sense of self in her own head, she does not believe that any part of whatever identity is there is particularly good / does not think she's a 'Good' person quote unquote — but this was absolutely doomed to fail post-return. Spending two years alone, trying to singularly hunt down a man and murder him, and knowing all the while that you hurt the people you love the most and have nothing to show for it... Yeah, no one's gonna be in the best head space for that, or be overly inclined to trust their own judgement or capacity to save people.

Like most characters in the show, Rayla struggles with always knowing what the right thing to do is, and what served her well in the past — trusting her gut, taking on things alone, laying herself down in the line of fire, removing her hesitation, and going to save Phyrrah in 2x07 — may not always serve her well in every scenario. She thought she was right to do all the same things when she went after Viren, didn't she? So she errs on the side of inaction, of not wanting to make another mistake by acting with her heart rather her head (again), and inadvertently waltzes into another mistake (Soren being captured and going missing).

Rayla will do the right thing, and hate herself for it, and will stubbornly ignore the signs screaming at her when she isn't doing the right thing (and she'll hate herself for that, too.)

[ Sidenote: bonus post about how Arc 2 increasingly treats more and more character traits and decisions as circumstantial rather than inherently good or bad ]

As she says to Ezran:

R: I let him go. I don't know why. E: Because you felt for him. R: But he was a human — my enemy! E: Yeah, but then you saw he was scared. And you knew he was a person, just like you. R: That shouldn't have mattered. I had a job to do.

I think we can read this in two ways. The first is that to be an assassin, you have to be able to dehumanize others on a fundamental level because you're 1) murdering strangers 2) on someone else's orders. Although Runaan preaches about balance in Bloodmoon Huntress (when you kill someone, you remove their capacity for love and change) we have all of Arc 1 talking about why that mindset is flawed and isn't good enough, especially because it culminates in Harrow's death when he still had plenty of things to love, like his children, and so much he wanted to change, and it would've led to Ezran's death as well. This is one of the reasons why assassination and dark magic, conceptually, often go hand in hand for the characters and their explorations of personhood and the right thing to do, etc etc.

The second way is that Rayla, by ignoring her own wants and personhood — her own heart — is also dehumanizing herself. It shouldn't matter that she's a person with wants and weaknesses; she had a job to do. We see this reflected in a lot of her behaviour ("Don't worry about my hand. The egg is all that matters now" —> "It's agonizing. But I know our mission comes first: the world is in danger, and you can trust me to stay focused") and in Runaan's / Moonshadow elves infamous "I am already dead" thing.

(There is also the factor that, because her and Callum mutually informed the construction of each other's new senses of identity to an absurd degree, if Callum doesn't want her then she doesn't know / doesn't have a firm footing on who she is anymore without him, but that's a codependent post for another day.)

All of this is a very long winded way of saying there, much like Viren and Claudia, are two consistently contradicting aspects to Rayla's personality that she is catapulting between, and the Assassin Rayla and Protector Rayla are, as of S5, still equal parts of her as she finds her way. Both have good and bad qualities of her, even if the Assassin Rayla side is — let's say more negative — and far more worrisome given what Callum has asked her to do if he is possessed again, and how it seems like S6 will be going full steam ahead in exploring that plotline.

In a lot of ways, Assassin Rayla and Protector Rayla have the exact same set of traits — selfless, protective, strong, willing to sever close bonds or divert from the mission to do the Right Thing — but instead describe the circumstances she's making those choices in. Protector Rayla is the one who stands against Runaan on the battlements; Assassin Rayla is the one who refuses to prioritize her parents even when she absolutely could (or at least, more than she is).

Assassin Rayla causes her to forget her own needs and put the world above everything else. Assassin Rayla causes her to ignore other people's needs, either not helping them (although iirc 4x05 is the only real example of it) or by leaving / keeping secrets.

The part of her we don't want her to listen to, the part she listens to when she's Scared — the one that walks away from the drake in 4x05, that tries to walk away in 1x09, and what led to her leaving, in a lot of ways, in TTM (both out of love, trauma, and a desperate need for control) — and how S4 reaffirms those qualities is precisely what may lead her to hurting Callum (again) in S6.

Because Callum is asking her to become an Assassin, Aaravos marks her as a failed one, and Rayla still — deep down — wants to ultimately be a Protector. We'll just have to see what side she answers to (and why).

More thoughts on Rayla, identity, and murder to follow lmao

[heartilywrites]

hello!! can I request a kuvira x fem!r where reader worked for kuvira but was apart of team avatar like bolin and a prompt "I know that this is not what you want to hear..." thank you!!

،، 𝓐lways Forever ; Kuvira

resume: where you were Kuvira's right hand but... are you really?

content warning: Kuvira x metalbender and fem!reader ; s4 set ; baatar jr jumpscare (i don't like him, sorry-) ; no use of y/n

wc: 3.2k

a/n: HI HELLO 👋🏼 i feel that I'm missing stuff in here, but at the same time i think it's good how it is??? HOPE YOU ENJOY :D

“ Don't make me cry, though I still got love for you and haven't got over you yet.

Hands covered with white gloves moved around the map to corroborate your binnacle.

Northwest, near Zigan Village... wait, didn't the military already helped that village...? No, you would've registered it when—

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “HEY, MISS GEOGRAPHY!” Bolin screamed walking to you, giving you a tiny heart attack. “Watcha doin'?”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Fucking spirits, Bolin...” you said out of breath, turning fully his way. “Do you need something?”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "The boss wants us all reunited, we are close to the town." your friend let his arm rest on your shoulders. "Should we go reunite with Mako and Asami while we are there?"

A sound of consideration vibrated in your throat while your face made an expression of thinking. “I don't think they can, Bo, Mako is occupied being a detective and Asami has a whole company to run, remember?”

You felt how your friend got discouraged after that, a small sigh left his lips.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Maybe you're right..” he said in a small voice.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “But maybe we can reunite with them after the coronation. Who knows? Korra could be back in the city by now too.” you tried to encourage the lavabender back, poking his side. He smiled.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Oh! I wish! She hasn't answer any of my letters to her, you know? And I wrote to her with dedication.” Bolin ranted making you laugh.

After the avatar left Republic City to heal in the Southern Water Tribe, Bolin had found out Kuvira's plan to save the Earth Kingdom from chaos herself and he decided to walk in the team as he really wanted to have his and his father's nation back to peace. One week later, he came to you talking you into joining too, assuring it would be to have the nation united until the new king took possession of his place.

You did take a couple days to consider his proposal and ended up showing to the train with your stuff, being met with a big hug from your friend and a welcome speech from the leader.

The team was small when you joined, so you had the honor to see Kuvira recruit more people for the good cause... At least that was what she made everyone believe, even you.

You were able to take a good position in Kuvira's circle, you managed the villages reports for her and that made you be close to her. She remembered you from the team's visit to Zaofu where you would be kind to everyone, she taught you some new metalbending moves you didn't know and that was also part of the reason you joined: Kuvira herself.

Having to be almost every single hour of the day by her side gave you the opportunity to meet her in more depth than how it happened back in the metal clan's city and in a blink of an eye, there wasn't a way anyone could see one without the other. Everyone started to notice how important you began to be for the young leader. Unofficially, you were her right hand, but even with such a high rank there were stuff Kuvira kept from you.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Everyone has a room assigned, we'll take the presidential suite.” Kuvira informed, pointing at you and then back at her. “We'll meet outside before the event.”

Baatar looked at you with narrow eyes before walking behind his new roommate Bolin. The metalbender and you made your way to the suite and began to settle; since the presidential suite had two connecting rooms she took the principal one and you the small one.

After leaving your stuff, you walked to her room and sat on the bed while she was getting ready for the coronation.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Are you sure to go on with your plan?” you asked after a small talk took place about the room being pretty, her sharp eyes looked at you from the mirror.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Of course, this new little king they want on the throne is nothing but a buffoon.” she answered, her eyes went back to her reflection. “And the Kingdom needs someone strong and respected to keep it together.”

You sighed and nodded with a little 'I guess' coming out of your mouth. The black haired walked to you, sitting by your side she took one of your hands.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Trust me, this is for the best. The new Empire will be stronger and far better than the previous Earth Kingdom.” her eyes searched for yours and when they met, her gaze softened. “You trust me, don't you?”

A sweet smile began to creep in your face, your head nodded once more. “I do, I trust you blindly.” your free hand reached for her cheek to leave caresses on it.

The door opened without any warning and the engineer walked, freezing after seeing you two close. He cleared his throat making the two sets of eyes turn his way. “All set, we need to go.” and he left.

You looked back at Kuvira with a funny smile, she shook her head. “Let's go, new leader.” A quick kiss on her cheek was left before distancing from the girl and walking to the exit.

At the coronation, everything went like you thought it would: People opposing, people showing support and Wu looking defeated at the border of a tantrum.

Bolin looked at you confused and you shrugged a little bit, like saying he needed to talk to her directly about it and that's what he planned to do after the ceremony.

When you came back to the room after having lunch with some of the soldiers to make time, you saw Suyin leaving the same, she looked at you and shook her head almost with disappointment before continuing her way.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Hey, what happened? I saw Suyin leave.” you asked directly coming in, Kuvira was standing with her arms crossed.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “We are leaving to Zaofu.” she limited to say, going to her room for her stuff.

You knew what was going to happen, she have been thinking about getting Zaofu into the new Empire for quite some time now, it was almost all she spoke about while talking about not letting the king rule.

Near the city, Bolin was called and told to be of company to both her and Bataar in a negotiation reunion with the matriarch of the city and her family, you were requested to stay on camp to keep working and that's what you did.

While looking through some paperwork that you knew got mixed up with Bataar's in his tent, you found blueprints for weapons you've never seen before, notes on the weapons about them being deadly and how each one could help in different areas. Your brow frowned and then, the dots connected.

Trying to look calmed you took your papers and walked back out like nothing. Bolin was also walking out of Kuvira's tent with a pale face, when he spotted you his feet almost ran your direction and took you by the shoulders.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Kuvira is not what we think she is!” he screamed in a whisper, your eyebrows raised, he knew too.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “What? Why–” he pulled you to your tent so you could talk. “What are you talking about, Bolin?”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “She just threatened me,” your eyes widened. “She wants to take the city by force, that's what we have been doing all this time! Taking cities by force and apparently making them work like slaves too!”

You blinked to all of the information. “Holy fuck, so that's why...” your sentence stopped, now you understood why there were documents with censored information being delivered to you instead of the official ones.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Yeah, holy fuck that's why!” he backed up, pulling down his face. “We need to do something, there's no way we'll leave it like this.”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Let me... Let me talk to her, you need to go for Varrick, I know he can help us, he was captured because of the vines I heard.” you said, spaced out on your spot, you looked back at him. “Try to get out of here with him and talk to the team, I know they can help us, Korra will help us.”

The guy nodded before going out like a man on a mission, you stayed to clear your thoughts and try to come with a way to persuade her. After collecting a couple of documents that needed approval, you made your way to her tent, Baatar was there.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “You can leave.” she said to him, the man left with a grimace, you rolled your eyes at him. “Hey, I was about to look for you, want to eat dinner?”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Oh, sure.” you smiled, standing still with your folder, Kuvira raised an eyebrow.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Is... something wrong? Something happened with the reports?” she asked meticulously, almost like fearing any discoveries you had made.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "No, sorry, I just... I feel tired." you walked to her and handed the folder. "I need your approvals here so I can send these."

The girl nodded and took the paperwork to start the process, you bit your bottom lip before breathing in deep.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "Listen, I talked to Bolin..." her hand stopped and she froze. "Kuvira, I know you want to have the whole Kingdom united, but taking the city by force is not a good idea."

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "Sometimes you need to do whatever it takes to make a greater good." her response left a bad mouth taste, she looked back up at you. "I know this is something you don't want to hear, but we need to make them join to our cause so we can move forward as a nation together. I'm doing this for us."

You stood in silence, that was definitely a different Kuvira talking and it scared you a little bit.

It took you that conversation to come up with a plan, you'd stay with her to try and stop everything from the inside and fortunately you weren't alone. Zhu Li had a similar idea with the canyon they were building and so you relied on her, both had meetings from time to time to discuss progress, but it was until the Beifongs were freed and she left with them for her safety that you were all alone. You trusted she would tell everything to the team.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "Okay, you can look now." your own hands moved from your eyes, confused you looked up to see a giant robot and now both eyes were wide open. "Do you like it? It's to take Republic City back."

Your blood froze in your veins at the view you were having, it was not only the giant robot, it was the fact that you could see a canyon on its right arm. "I thought... I thought we were going to do a big canyon."

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "That was the first plan, but Baatar came up with this new model and it would be easier to mobilize around the city." you nodded still hypnotized by the weapon.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "I think this is going to be such a great idea." you said what she wanted to hear, Kuvira smiled satisfied. "What will I do?"

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "You will be with me on the main control room." your mind was running miles trying to devise a plan to let the team know.

With the luck against you, you found yourself at the control room without being able to warn anyone about anything. Horrified at the sight of the canyon destroying everything in just seconds, you were grieving silently what had been your home for all those years alive.  When the president surrendered the city, you felt your soul fall to your feet, but her instructions to them gave you an idea.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "I'll go!" you almost screamed at her, she turned your way confused. "With Baatar, Korra is my friend, she trusts me, I know she won't try anything with me there. You'll have the city, the army and the avatar." You nervousness made your hands twitch a little bit, you hid them in your back.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "Okay," she said after a few seconds of silence, Kuvira walked up to you and cupped your face in her hands.‍ "Be careful, I'll wait for you so we can rule together." She left a kiss close to the corner of your lips.

A soft smile was your response while your eyes scanned her face one last time, trying to burn the image of her in your brain and after that, you left to meet the engineer.

The first half of the journey was quiet, both of you were walking towards his office, but with healthy distance between the two.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "She likes you, you know?" he spoke out of the blue, catching your attention, you looked up from the floor and back at him for a second.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "What...?"

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "Kuvira, she likes you." he continued, you stopped a second in your steps, confused.‍ "We were trying something at the beginning of all of this, but after Bolin got you on the team she had been distant to me and this morning she said we needed to talk after this is over, I know she likes you, I've seen the way she looks at you."

You blinked in awe to what was said, that explained why he always looked at you with some type of resentment, you laughed a little bit to the thought of him hating you for ruinning his 'chance' with the leader.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "The destiny is such a funny thing." you murmured, it was almost relieving to know that maybe you did had your chance with the metalbender, you wished the situation was different so you could maybe be with her dispite all, but now you had one mission: stop her.

Once at the door, you unlocked it and walked in, as soon as Baatar walked you heard him grumble. In an automatic way, you adopted a defensive position, however when the avatar looked at you, a smile as big appeared on your face.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "Korra!" you exclaimed walking towards her to embrace a hug, she giggled.‍ "I'm so glad to see you here."

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "I'm glad to see you too," she said smiling, a couple seconds later, she distanced herself.‍ "Zhu Li told us everything, we're taking Baatar, are you coming with us?"

Without a second thought you nodded and followed the girl out of the airship.

Once at Asami's factory you greeted everyone with joy, feeling like a weight was lifted up your shoulders and when you saw Bolin your eyes watered a little bit.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "I thought you did die!" you said while hugging him with a little strength, he was giggling with pauses.‍ "I didn't have any way to communicate and then Zhu Li left and I was all alone."

The older woman patted your back with a comprehensive smile, while everything went down you stood at the back with your friend, waiting for a conclusion. When the engineer talked to her, your stomach felt fumbling and it didn't get better listening to her answer him. She asked for you and the man told her that you were with him, they had taken you too.

Seeing how the leader shoot at the factory without considering if any of you two would make it out alive somehow made you feel sad, but there wasn't time for any of that as everyone got to action trying to stop her. Lin had given metal string for you to move around and a quick tutorial on how to use it, it took you a couple of falls for you to have the transportation managed.

The fight was intense, there were times were you thought you would not make it alive in one piece. All your muscles were aching in pain at the overwork with your bending, sweat was dripping off your face, but when everyone got into the suit you took the time to rest a little bit with Asami by your side when you went to look for her after she was ejected from the hummingbird suit. Your arms were around her, giving her comfort in her now grieving time.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "I hope they can defeat her." she said, resting her head in your shoulder. You looked to the robot's way and saw fire reflecting, a tiny smile appear.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "I'm sure they will." you said back.‍ "I just wish things were different... I don't recognize Kuvira anymore."

Asami was attentive to you, she gave you a comprehensive gaze.‍ "Things happen for a reason."

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "I know that, but-" your talk was interrupted by an explosion, Asami and you covered your head with your hands and looked up afterwards.

The giant robot was halved by the vines power, with no time to waste, you ran to the scene. Before you both arrived, another explosion took place, Asami was quick to pull you to a train entrance for cover. When that one settle, your eyes shined with the new spirit portal in the heart of the city.

A small call for Kuvira left your mouth unconsciously, so you joined the rest of the group to look for the avatar while also you looked for the leader. Your mind was going a thousand per second until you saw the southerner walk out of the portal with the metalbender by her side, you sighed.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "Wait," you called to the Beifongs before they could take her farther.‍ "Can I... talk to her? It will be quick."

Lin and Suyin took just a step back, always vigilant to the leader.‍ "I'm sorry," she started, not allowing you to say anything.‍ "For everything, I'm so sorry for making you go through all of this."

One of your hands look to get one of hers, a melancholic smile was drawn in your face. "You'll do better from now on, I can feel it."

Kuvira let a couple of tears fall from her eyes, you took a step closer to her and your lips met hers in a delicate kiss. The leader was shocked, but tried to reciprocate as fast as she could. You could hear a couple of gasps at your back, but that wasn't your main focus at the moment.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "I'll wait for you." you told her, trying to sound calm. Kuvira's eyes shined with concern.‍ "Just know, I have always loved you... Always."

She smile a little bit and murmur a little 'I love you too' before she was taken away. Turning around to your friends, they all had a shocked face.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "So! Korra saved the city!" you tried to sound as happy as possible for your friend, Bolin gave you back up and cheered for the avatar.

The whole team did a group hug as a celebration, knowing you could also need a hug from them, things will get better with time.

[stitching-in-time]

Voyager rewatch s4 ep9: Year of Hell pt 2

I definitely haven't seen this one since it first aired, because the only things I remember from it were Janeway and Tuvok hugging, and the ship crashing. Literally everything else in this was like new to me, which was completely wild to experience after more than two decades.

Why I didn't rewatch it again in all this time, I don't know- I remember thinking 'ugh' whenever I'd see it on a rerun and flip channels, but it's actually a lot better than I gave it credit for??? Maybe as a kid all the sad, scary stuff the crew goes through just made more of a negative impression on me, and I know I would have been very worried that somebody would get killed off back then. I had a deeper attachment to Star Trek characters than any other shows I watched, so the stakes always felt a little bit higher in Star Trek, versus other shows I didn't care about as much.

But anyway, I was clearly way too young to realize how hot the whole crew was yet, because I didn't remember the part where Chakotay and Tom are aboard the Krenim timeship at all. And oh boy, watching it as an adult? with Tom in that costume with that v-neck top? Incredibly distracting. Like, excuse me sir, how dare you be that pretty?? All tall and blonde and blue eyed with your tousled hair and your unbuttoned shirt?? Illegal levels of hotness!!! go to jail for 1000 years!!!

But aside from making my fangirl brain go brrrr every time Tom appears on screen, I do think the scenes on the ship with the Krenim bad guy, Annorax, were very interesting and well done. We learn that Chakotay and Tom have been held captive there, in solitary confinement, for two months, before Annorax decides to let them out. He brings them to have dinner with him in an attempt to convince them to work with him to help him get his timeline back, and restore Voyager in the process. Tom is pissed off and skeptical, but Chakotay plays it more diplomatically, and tries to hear Annorax out. Annorax does a convincing job of presenting himself as cultured and reasonable, until he tells them that the little feast he's treating them to is actually a macabre repast made up of the last existing delicacies from civilizations he's erased from existence. He tells them how he's been manipulating the timeline with the time weapon on his ship for 200 years, existing outside of normal time, trying to get the calculations right to bring the entire Krenim empire back, like some sort of Flying Dutchman in space. Chakotay and Tom are horrified, and Tom won't hear of helping him, guessing that the only reason Annorax is asking them is because he hasn't been able to find and destroy Voyager yet. He storms out, but Chakotay stays, hoping there might be a way to use the time weapon in a less violent way to accomplish what Annorax proposed.

Meanwhile, back on Voyager, the seven remaining crew members are fighting tooth and claw to keep the ship together, hiding in a nebula to avoid the Krenim and try to repair their failing systems. Janeway, as usual, powers through it all by throwing herself into work, rarely eating or sleeping, risking her life time and again, and ignoring doctor's orders to rest when she gets sick or injured. (She has a rare moment of sentiment when she finds the watch Chakotay gave her still in his quarters, despite her order to recycle it. She doesn't know of he's alive or dead at this point, so she's too moved to be angry, and she picks it up, and puts it on her belt, like a good luck charm.) The Doctor tries to relieve her of command when he thinks she's pushing herself too far, but Janeway hits him with the reality that she can just say no- they have no security officers, they have no brig, no energy for more forcefields- he can't enforce any orders on anyone. He tells her he'll record her refusal in his log, and that she could face a court-martial for disobeying, to which she responds with a wry smile that they'd have to get home before she could ever face a court martial, and she's the one who's going to get them home, by continuing to work. Even making it out alive to face a court martial would be nice for her, compared to what they're going through. She walks off, leaving the Doctor to contemplate his abstract principles, while she, as always, is forced by necessity to do the real, hard work to hold things together and shoulder the responsibilty for the ship and crew, alone.

Back on the Krenim ship, Chakotay works with Annorax to learn how to use his time weapon, and Tom buddies up to the crew, trying to gather what info he can from them that might be useful against Annorax. He tells Chakotay the crew are unhappy in their endless mission, and that they could be convinced to mutiny against Annorax with their help. Chakotay says no, and wants to try to use the time weapon, which Tom disagrees with, and they come pretty close to having a fistfight over it, since Tom (rightly) thinks Annorax is a maniac, and that Chakotay has been swayed over to Annorax's side. Whether Chakotay actually has been swayed or not is kind of open to interpretation- Annorax certainly was giving him a lot of seductive speeches about what an art form the manipulation of time can be, and Chakotay seems to earnestly believe he can find a way to use it for good. And if he was actually just playing a long game, and trying to earn Annorax's trust so they can get the better of him, he absolutely should have told that to Tom, rather than letting him think he's sympathizing with the enemy, and thus giving him a good reason to not follow his orders. At any rate, Chakotay seems to finally realize that Annorax is a madman who can't be reasoned with once he learns that his centuries of meddling with the timeline stem from accidentally erasing his own family in one of his attacks, and that everything he's been doing has been a desperate attempt to get them back. They watch in horror as he uses the time weapon to erase an entire planet, and Tom finally convinces Chakotay to go with his plan. Tom gets his Krenim friend to let him send a message to Voyager, and to help them shut down the time weapon so Voyager can attack.

By the time Voyager receives Tom's message, Janeway has assembled a small fleet of allies to stand against the Krenim- Voyager is nearly crippled, so she sends the rest of the crew to the alien ships, and stays behind on Voyager to coordinate the attack that now has a fighting chance, thanks to Tom's help. This is the scene I always remember, of Tuvok attempting to convince Janeway not to stay on a compromised Voyager to die. But Janeway waxes poetic about how a captain always goes down with the ship, and how Voyager is more than just a ship, it's their home, a part of their family that she can't abandon. Tuvok knows her too well to argue, so he gives her a Vulcan salute, and accepts a hug from her in return. Her face as he returns her embrace for one rare and probably final time, when she almost breaks down as she says goodbye to him, only to snap herself back to composure, to send him away in order to do what she has to do, is an absolutely devastating moment, and an incredibly subtle piece of acting from Kate Mulgrew.

Even standing alone on her wrecked ship, battered and filthy, with Chakotay's watch tucked into her belt, Janeway still exudes the air of a Captain, and leads the charge to the Krenim ship. (Which looks so much like Babylon 5! I honestly have to wonder whether it was intentional- I can't imagine anyone working on Star Trek wouldn't have been aware of that show, or what their space station looked like. Though whether it was a nod to them or a dig at them, I don't know.)

As soon as Annorax sees Voyager, he wants to destroy it, but his second in command holds fire long enough for Tom to take the time weapon offline. Even with regular weapons, Voyager is too damaged to fight back, so Janeway decides if she's going down, she'll take them with her. Only Kate Mulgrew could sell that incredibly cheesy 'time's up' line with so much conviction that I buy it completely. I get why her whole crew would die for her- I would die for her too. If you watch this show and still say you wouldn't die for her, you're lying. Janeway supremacy forever <3

Somehow, Janeway figures that taking out the timeship might reset the timeline, so she has her ships disengage their temporal shielding and rams Voyager into the Krenim ship, destoying them both.

And the timeline resets!! How? I have no idea! How did she know that would happen? I also have no idea! Would it have been nice if that theory were introduced into the script earlier, and played with a bit more so it didn't seem like a crazy last minute add-on that was too convenient to be true? Yeah! Am I mad enough about it that I'm gonna complain about it too much? No! Do I just enjoy the badass ferocity of Janeway ramming her ship into a bad guy's ship to save millions of lives, even if she has to risk her own to do it? HELL YEAH!!!

So we end up back on Voyager before the Year of Hell began- everything is pristine and lovely, and the crew is looking forward to their little opening celebration for the new astrometrics lab. A Krenim hails them, gives them a friendly warning that their territory is in dispute, and recommends going around their space for safety. Janeway thanks him, and sets a course to avoid their space. They go on their merry way, never knowing the year they endured in another timeline.

And the last scene is of Annorax, back at home, with his wife, going over his time manipulation research, and ignoring her until she insists the research can wait, and that he should have breakfast with her. He agrees, but his research is still there, and it's a chilling thought that without knowing the 200 years he spent trying to fix his mistake, he might make it all over again one day. (But seriously, in 200 years, he didn't figure out that blowing his ship up would reset the timeline and bring his wife back?! Like that's literally all he had to do?! But Janeway guessed that correctly in one split second hunch?! Not the best writing in the world, but hell, I'll give it a pass because Janeway badassery! I love you, my captain!!! No thoughts, just Janeway!!!)

Tl;dr: The ending wasn't as strong as the beginning, but it was an exciting ride, with some really fine moments. I won't be waiting another 20 some years to rewatch this again, I can tell you that!