#s1 finale was a lot better imo

[iridescentis]

I just wanna talk about the s2 finale of soy luna again because i have some thoughts

I understand that, because it's a season finale, it can't be too emotional or upsetting because it's supposed to round out the season - we need closure, some amount of joy and a big final performance

however I feel like it was a little too happy? like they lost the roda fest but they don't even care for longer than 5 minutes because luna randomly receives an award??

the main thing is the sol benson reveal though, it was cute but it felt so...unsatisfying? the whole drama with sharon was intense and i loved that but luna's reaction was so minimal it felt like she just accepted it immediately?

idk i think i wanted a lot more of an emotional response?? like where's the mental breakdown? i know ámbar was manipulated and obviously didn't have any memories but when she was told that she's sol benson she fucking lost it where was that?? where's the identity crisis??

luna had been searching for this for an entire season with simón and nina and they were barely involved in the reveal idk it just felt really lazy

to be fair it's been a while since i actually watched it so this might not be fully accurate but i was just thinking about it bc i rewatched the big performances but yeah idk

[healmydesires]

forever in your eyes (j.m)

pairing: joel miller x fem!reader

summary: It wasn’t like you hadn’t dated before. You had been on plenty of dates since you’ve been in Jackson, too many actually, you’ve even been in a semi serious relationship, but unfortunately, nobody had really charmed their way into your heart like they were supposed to. You’ve never been in love, always thought that falling in love wasn’t meant for you. Until one day, you meet a certain grumpy man.

genre: fluff + romance + angst + smut (18+ mdni)

word count: 15k+

tags/warnings: age gap (reader is 27, joel is in his early 50’s), takes place post s1, very minimal use of y/n, soft!joel tbh, kinda shy!reader… at least with joel, flirty joel, joel deserves to be loved, assumed unrequited love from both sides, reader described as shorter than joel, mutual pining, inexperienced/virgin!reader, unprotected sex, piv sex, loss of virginity, soft!dom joel, sub!reader, vaginal fingering, oral (f!receiving), joel has high key an oral fixation, kinda pleasure!dom?, multiple orgasms, creampie, some breeding kink, overstimulation, size kink, joel is huge… literally packing oof, lots of pet names (darlin, sweetheart, angel, baby girl, etc.), reader has a sister (named emilie, so if that’s your name I’m so sorry 😭😭😭 you can imagine another name then 🥺. I didn’t want it to be y/s/n because that would be so annoying to write imo).

a/n: this is my first joel fic. this is kinda more soft tbh… might be a bit oc? I don’t know but I love it. It’s pretty self indulgent !!! I’ve always loved writing but I got a lot discouraged in the past, giving up on it. I was inspired to start writing again by some of my favourite writers @joelmama and @joelscruff. also english is like my third language so please be nice/gentle with me. do not give me unsolicited advice pls <3 anyways! I hope you enjoy it 🥺

please don’t forget to interact, reblog or let me know if you read/loved it! <3 thank you ily 🥺

AO3 ● playlist

You knew you had feelings for Joel Miller. You’ve always liked and cared for him, even when you first met.

You still remember the day you met him. Clear as day.

It was such a warm and beautiful day, like a year and a half ago. The sun was beaming down on you as you were reading a book that you found on one of your trips outside Jackson — on your front porch of your house. The blowing mid-summer wind was hitting your face, cooling, as if to apologise for the almost unbearable heat that Jackson was currently subjected to. The soft breeze was caressing your skin and hair making the heat a lot more bearable as you enjoyed the day.

You were so immersed in your book that you didn’t hear the people approaching you until there was a shadow descending over the pages of your book. Someone was standing in front of you, their body blocking the sun.

“Yes?” You said with a smile without looking up from your book.

“I would like to introduce you to some people.”

The voice belonged to Tommy. Tommy Miller.

Your eyes widened at that, and you looked up from your book and saw that there were two other people behind Tommy looking down at you.

“I’m sorry,” you said before you cleared your throat, giving them a sheepish smile before standing from your lounger, shielding your eyes from the sun to get a better look at the strangers in front of you.

A teenager gave you a polite smile as she introduced herself. As you gave her your name in return you finally noticed the man next to her, gave you a curt nod when you locked eyes with him. He had a broad build, dark eyes and brown peppered hair. You assumed he was around the age of fifty and you couldn’t help but find him incredibly handsome.

“This is Ellie and my brother,” Tommy smiled as he gestured to both people next to him. “They’re your new neighbours.”

You knew Tommy had an older brother but you didn't know what you had been expecting. Maybe someone less handsome. As you continued to take him in you realised you were staring. You felt your body becoming more warm as you felt him stare back at you.

“How’s it going? I’m Y/N.” You gave him a small smile as you stepped forward to extend a hand out to the man.

"Hello," he repeated your name with a deep southern accent, which did nothing to calm your racing heart. You don’t think you’ve ever heard a voice that attractive in your entire life and it made heat flood to your cheeks. His hard expression melted into a more soft one as he took your hand in his. "I’m Joel, how’s your bench going?”

Your eyes widened at his words, “My bench? How did you—”

“We saw you through the living room window earlier this morning or more like Joel did.” Ellie, the teenager said with a huge grin on her face.

“Ellie.” He warned under his breath. His ears turned red and the two of them began to argue in hushed whispers, but your mind was elsewhere as panic began to set in.

Oh my god. He noticed me?

You grew embarrassed as you realised that he saw you struggle to fix that old bench on your porch. You’re painfully aware of how clumsy you are and that you’re not handy at all but you don’t like to ask other people for help. It was not because of your pride or any of that sort, you’d hate to burden someone else with your issues, so you mostly keep trying to fix things yourself.

"Oh yeah..." You said, looking back towards the bench that has been the bane of your existence these past few days. Your words effectively pulled Joel and Ellie out of their current argument. "It's a bit broken and needs some fixing."

Joel just looked at you for a moment before speaking up again. “You know, if you want, I could come check it out?”

You felt your cheeks heat up again at his offer and you glanced over at Tommy. “Uhm…”

“We both used to be contractors back in the day, so if you ever need anything repaired or something built, we are your people. Well… Joel specifically.” Tommy laughed.

“Oh, that’s cool. I think I’m good for now though, I don’t need any help but thanks for offering.” You declined politely with a small smile. You knew you could use their or his help with repairing the bench, but you didn’t want to burden anyone. And the older brother was already making you feel flustered, you didn’t want to make a fool out of yourself when you just met.

“Alright, you know where to find me if you change your mind.” He gave you a small but genuine smile before the three of them walked away from you.

As they walked away, you released a breath you didn't realise you were holding. The hammering of your heart only registering as the distance grew between you. You felt a bit of disappointment once they were gone, a sense of longing setting in your heart as you thought about the tall and older man that you know you’ll grow to care for.

—

“God damn it. Work with me please.” You grumbled as you tried to fix one of the loose wooden planks of the bench. Sweat was dripping down your forehead as you concentrated on your task at hand. You were on the floor, crouched underneath the bench you were so desperately trying to repair. You’ve been trying to put it off for a couple of weeks now but you knew you couldn’t keep doing that. You knew you should ask someone for help but you didn’t want to give up just yet. Curse words wouldn’t stop leaving your mouth as you struggled. “Fuck.”

“I didn’t take you as a girl that could curse like a sailor.” A low and deep but still soft voice resounds behind you.

“Ah shit!” you gasped as you heard the voice behind you. You’d smacked your head on the edge of the bench when you’d startled at the sudden intrusion. You recognised that voice. Joel Miller. The man that’s been consuming your thoughts for weeks now. You hissed as you rubbed at the already sore spot and landed on your butt as you looked up at him.

The bemused expression morphed into one of concern as he crouched down to your level. “Are you okay?” He replaced your hand with his own, making sure there was no visible injury.

His touch made your body turn hot as he continued to study you.

“Yeah I-I’m fine. Although, I do think it will be a nice bump later.” You chuckled. “You shouldn’t sneak up on me like that, it’s not good for my heart.”

“And your head,” he said as a grin replaced the one of concern. You were glad to be sitting because that smile has been making you weak in the knees lately. Ever since you’ve been introduced you’ve been talking and hanging out here and there, finding out that the man can smile sometimes. You’re not entirely sure why he felt so at ease around you but you were truly grateful that he was spending time with you. (It might be for the fact that Ellie grew fond of you and loved to ask you a million questions whenever she was around.) He had the prettiest smile you’d ever seen and it lit up his whole face, you truly wish he would smile more. Subconsciously you started biting your lip as you admired him.

“Are you sure you don’t need any help?” He questioned with a chuckle as he looked at the state of the bench next to you.

Your face grew warm as you moved to focus your gaze on your hands. “I’m fine.” You whisper softly as you continue to look at your hands in your lap.

You heard him sigh before he took your chin gently in his hand to tilt your head back, making you look into his eyes.

“You know it’s okay to ask for help sometimes?” He said as he studied you intently. It was hard to maintain his eye contact, your face heating up more under his intense gaze and because of the close proximity of both of your faces.

His brown eyes stared into yours and you couldn’t help but find them the most beautiful eyes you’ve ever looked at. Your eyes flitted all over his face, not being able to stay in one place. You couldn’t get over how handsome he was. His head tilted to the side and he gave you a questionable look. You felt embarrassed as you realised you hadn’t replied to him yet.

“Sorry,” you bit your lip nervously as warmth spread even more to your cheeks. Your eyes moved away from his face to a spot behind him as you stared into the distance. “I just don’t want to burden you.” Your voice sounded so small and squeaky that you cringed internally. Embarrassed, you quickly drop your gaze to your lap.

“Oh, Darlin’,” he said gently, his expression turning more soft. “Sweetheart, you could never be a burden.”

“I’m sorry,” you bit the inside of your cheek as you tried to keep yourself from getting emotional. “I didn’t mean to… I just— I just always feel like it’s best I do everything myself all the time because I don’t want to annoy anyone with my problems.”

You’ve always been someone to wear your heart on your sleeve. You’re a very sensitive person and very in tune with your emotions most of the time. People saw you as a very caring and helpful person but when it came to your own things you mostly tended to yourself. You’re aware that most people aren’t like you, at least not anymore ever since the outbreak happened, but you didn’t care. There’s strength in sensitivity.

“You could never annoy me,” Joel frowned. “especially not when it comes to you struggling to do something on your own.”

You weren’t used to people caring for you the way you cared for others. So when Joel reassured you or took the time to hang out with you, you couldn’t help but feel appreciated.

His reassuring words gradually eased your anxiety. You let out a long sigh before looking up at him again. “O-okay, I-I think… I might need your help.” You stutter, hoping he didn’t catch it but he smiled at you warmly instead.

Shit, he’s so pretty. Come on, forget it. He could never have feelings for you.

“Good. Because I’d love to help.” He winked at you with a crooked smile.

Warmth flooded your body as you stared at him, you couldn’t help but feel flustered around him. You’re certain that your heart is running two hundred miles per hour, because it felt like it was about to burst out of your chest.

It’s just a silly crush. You told yourself.

—

Turns out, Joel Miller, your hot new neighbour, could be very handy.

He was able to fix the bench you've been fighting with for weeks in less than an hour. You were truly impressed.

As he brought back the supplies he used to repair the bench back inside to your supply closet, you couldn’t help but want him to stay a little longer. Besides, you wanted to thank him for being so helpful. You’re relieved and so grateful that the ‘demon bench’, as you had called it, was now fixed

“Thank you for helping me out, Joel. It means a lot to me.” You said as you smiled up at him as you both walked towards your front door.

“Oh darlin’ it’s no problem. I loved helping you.” He said with a grin. He moved closer, making your breath hitch which made him smile even more. “You can ask me anything. Whenever you need.” He winked and you felt your insides melt at his words and his actions.

“I-I want to be able to thank you. Give something in return for your help.” You smiled shyly at him.

“You don’t have to do anything for me sweet—”

“Please, let me make you dinner. It’s the least I can do after what you did for me.” You cut him off as you looked up at him with wide eyes. “Ellie is welcome too!” You added nervously when he took a bit longer to reply.

He snorts softly at your words before clearing his throat. “Ellie isn't in tonight,” he says as he avoids your gaze for a few seconds “she’s at this girl’s place she hangs out with a lot. So it’s just me.”

“Oh that’s okay! I’m sure she can join us next time.” You flashed him a bright smile. “But, I’d love to make dinner for you tonight… if that’s okay?” You asked with pleading eyes.

He chuckled fondly at your expression as he shook his head with amusement. “Of course. I’d love that.”

You felt like you were going to burst out of excitement. Internally you’re screaming, kicking with your legs like a schoolgirl thinking about her crush. You really loved spending time with the man.

Joel followed you back inside as you quickly disappeared down the hall and into the dining room that’s connected to your kitchen. You saw him admire the walls of your dining room from your peripheral view as you’re rummaging in one of the cupboards of your kitchen for a cutting board. Most of the paintings were either more abstract gradient paintings or heavily inspired by the Impressionism art movement.

“You have lots of paintings. They are very pretty.”

“Thank you. Some of them are made by me or my sister.” You smiled genuinely as you made your way back to him.

“Really?” He asked curiously.

Your smile turned timid as you looked up at him, Joel's inquisitive look making you even more shy.

“Yeah… we both love art. Especially making our own sometimes.” You cleared your throat with another bashful smile, before looking down at your shoes.

“Is your sister…?”

“Is she alive? Yes” you finished his question. “She lives here in Jackson with her boyfriend actually.”

“That’s nice.”

“Yeah. I’m truly grateful to have her in my life.” You told him. “She’s my best friend.”

“That’s beautiful” he nods at you as a small smile graces his features. You can’t help but feel yourself get more warm at his soft expressions. He’s so beautiful. “How did you two find your way to Jackson?”

“It’s a long story. I don’t think I’ve ever told you this but, originally my sister and I weren't from here… the USA I mean.” You told him.

Joel’s eyes widened at your words. You giggled at his expression.

“We are originally from Europe, I was still very young when the outbreak happened. I was around? Seven years old. We were in San Francisco when it happened and my sister and I haven’t really moved from that place for a long time ever since everything went down.” You said as you walked back to the kitchen.

“Christ. That’s very young.” He said, he looked shocked as you told him as much as you wanted him to know.

“Yeah but Emilie was four when it happened.” You said as you bit your lip.

“It must be hard being trapped in a foreign country. Especially when you’re a child.”

“Yeah… My parents eventually died when I turned eighteen. So it was just Emilie and I for a long time. One day a couple of years ago she went outside the San Francisco QZ and I hadn’t heard from her for a long while. I just… I had to look for her, she’s my sister, she means everything to me. I would literally travel through this whole country just to find her. I always felt like I needed to protect her. I’ve always been very overprotective of her, just like I know she is with me.” You chuckled as you shook your head with amusement at your previous words.

“Overprotective huh?” He said as he flashed you a grin as he came to lean against a wall close to you.

“Yeah,” you giggled. “I am the big sister but sometimes it does feel like she’s more overprotective than I am.”

“Your sister seems very nice. I do understand her being overprotective though.” He smiled as he leaned closer to you.

“Oh really?” You bit your lip as you continued to prepare everything for dinner.

“Yeah, I mean you’re a precious little thing so I do understand her overprotectiveness.” He muttered.

Heat rose up in your face at his words. You couldn’t look up at him, feeling too flustered to look him in the eye. Your heart felt like it was about to burst out of your chest as you kept repeating his words in your head. He thought you were precious.

Was that flirting? No. He would never flirt with you.

“Y-you think so?” You question shyly, still not meeting his gaze.

“Uhuhm” He hummed softly, “I don’t only think that, it is so. You’re very precious.”

“O-oh.” You were at loss for words.

Joel chuckled, probably because of your flustered state, before he noticed you struggled with the ingredients. “Let me help you sweetheart.”

“No, it’s okay.” You said. But as most people knew, Joel was a stubborn man.

“Darlin,” he looked at you pointedly, letting you know that you wouldn’t be able to stop him from giving you a hand.

“I’m making dinner for you, to thank you. You shouldn’t be helping me.” You huffed as you crossed your arms in front of your chest. You’re aware you probably look like a child but you can’t help it. Dinner was supposed to be made by you, and only you.

“Oh angel, being in your presence is rewarding enough for me.” He says as he leans closer to your ear.

Butterflies erupted in your stomach at his words. The sound of his deep voice close to your ear, and the feeling of his breath against your skin, made you fight the urge to shiver.

Joel smiled playfully, eyes looked down and locked with yours for a couple of seconds. The close proximity made your skin set on fire. He could lean down a bit more and then his lips would be on yours. You slowly pulled back, clearing your throat while you did.

“A-a-anyways.” You stuttered. You hated stuttering, you never really stuttered but somehow this man could turn you into a flustered, stuttering mess. His smile widened at your state which made you want to run and hide. You decided to change the subject. “I had to go through some states to find her and eventually I found her. Then we travelled together through Wyoming and then some people from Jackson surrounded us and that’s how we got here. That was almost a year ago.”

“So… You are pretty new here?”

“Yep.” You said as you smiled at him.

It was silent for a moment as both of you were preparing everything for dinner. Until your eyes widened at the realisation that you hadn’t offered him anything to drink yet.

“Oh shit, sorry. I can’t believe that I haven’t offered you something to drink yet.” You said as you abandoned your current task, running towards another supply closet, looking for something good for the both of you. “Give me a second.”

You could hear Joel chuckle, knowing he was probably looking at you with an amused expression on his face. You were looking for a specific bottle of red wine, your favourite, the ones you always keep for special occasions. Once you found it you couldn’t help but squeal excitedly. “Aha! Here it is!” You smiled triumphantly as you held it in your hands.

You were grinning widely as you came back into the kitchen. “I’ve got some red wine, I hope that’s okay.” You said as you placed down the bottle on the kitchen counter.

“More than okay.” Joel smiled.

You beamed up at him and opened one of the cabinets, you stood on the tip of your toes as you struggled to reach for some wine glasses.

“Fuck,” you muttered to yourself. “Why did I put those glasses so high and so far in the back?”

“Let me,” he chuckled softly as he stepped behind you, his body pressing softly against yours. Your breath hitched at the action and warmth spread all over your body. You mentally cursed yourself as you felt a heat pool between your legs. Different kinds of scenarios started going through your head as you felt his body pressed against yours. You wished his arms were wrapped around you as he stood behind you. But one of his arms extended over yours as he reached for two glasses easily. “Here they are.” He whispered as he leant down to whisper close to your ear.

You truly felt as if you caught a fever. He’s so close and so big. As his chest brushed against your back you felt as if your brain short circuited for a second. He was so broad and tall while you were so much smaller than him, he could quite literally swallow you whole with his frame.

You felt his body slowly retreat from yours, giving you the possibility to collect your thoughts again.

“Show off,” you grumbled teasingly, warmth still filling your chest and face.

Joel snorted, shaking his head amused. “You’re just tiny.”

You gasped dramatically, turned around and feigned offence at his words. “Am not!”

“Sure you aren’t.” He teased, a grin forming on his face.

You giggled at that, “you’re just awfully tall.”

“Right.” He nodded along to your words, tried to look as serious as he could, he tried to stifle a grin and you could see right through him.

“I am right.” You pouted.

“So am I.” He retorted playfully, a loud laugh left his lips as you continued to pout, before he took a step closer to you.

Your cheeks warmed, but you tried to hide your embarrassment by crossing your arms and sticking your chin up in the air. Huffing you turned around, “get back to work Mr. Miller.”

“Yes ma’am” he said in mock seriousness as he went back to making dinner with you.

“You’re so silly,” you giggled as you teasingly bumped your shoulder against his arm. You went to open the bottle of wine before pouring some of the liquid in both glasses. Once the glasses were filled you held a glass out to him.

“Only with you darlin’,” he gave you a wink before he took the glass from your hand. Flushed, you tried to ignore the way your heart skipped in your chest when his fingers brushed against yours.

This man is going to be the death of me.

—

Dinner was very nice. There was lots of banter, lots of words exchanged from Joel that felt awfully like flirting but still you tried to push those thoughts away. He wouldn’t flirt with you. You’re pretty certain of it. The tension sometimes was killing you though. You think it was sexual tension but then again that would be impossible because he wasn’t flirting with you.

But you also noticed that the more you hung out with Joel the more relaxed he was around you. You loved that for him. Underneath all that rough exterior he has so much depth to him. He’s very caring, protective, helpful, funny, and so intelligent. He’s so sweet to you too, you didn’t know why. But all you knew is that you care for him so much. You felt comfortable around him too, safe. You couldn’t help but associate him with warmth, safety. Home. He felt like home to you.

Empty plates were still on the table and for a while you were enjoying the comfortable silence between you two. Eventually you broke that silence.

“The wine is so good.” You whispered as you looked at your wine glass then brought your gaze softly to the man sitting across from you. He seemed like he was lost in his thoughts, staring off in the distance as he looked through the window outside towards your garden.

He brought his gaze back to you as he heard your voice, he cocked his head to the side. “Hmmm what did you say sweetheart?”

“It’s good right?” You ask as you motion with your head to the drink in your hand.

“You’re not wrong. It’s very good.” He nods with a soft smile.

“It’s my favourite,” you flashed him a grin before you took a generous sip of your wine, the liquid burning down your throat.

“Oh really?” He questioned with a curious smile.

“Yeah, I keep them for special occasions.” You said as you bit your lip, feeling bashful.

“Is that so?” Joel’s smile turned into a full smirk as he looked straight into your eyes. “I am assuming this is a special occasion then?”

You hummed your agreement, shrugging your shoulders with faux nonchalance as you continued to bite your lip. Warmth was overwhelming you. Not only because of the alcohol you consumed but that man always made you heat up.

“I’ll consider that as a compliment.” He said as he leaned back in his chair.

Excitement bubbled inside you. Feeling bold, you winked at him. “As you should.”

He was visibly surprised, Joel didn't expect you to finally flirt back. You giggled at his reaction, pleased to see that you could surprise him.

You stood up from your seat with a smile as you took the empty plates from the table, bringing them to the sink.

As you’re about to turn the faucet on you heard him stand up from his chair. He muttered your name, his voice coming out a lot deeper than usual. Fighting back a shiver you slowly turned around to look at him. Your eyes were wide with curiosity and your heart was pounding so hard you could barely hear over the sound of blood rushing in your ears. He looked at you, a desperate expression on his face.

“Darlin’,” he said, his voice hoarse as his dark eyes continued to hold your gaze. For the first time of the night you couldn’t fight back the shiver from going down your spine. Heat flooded your body, your cheeks burning, the warmest you’ve ever felt them.

Joel must have noticed the way your body was reacting to his voice, as he dragged a low shuddering breath at the sight of you.

“Joel?” Your breath turned heavier as you waited for him to say or do something. Your wide pleading eyes stared into his hungry eyes. He continued to stand there just looking at you, his chest moved quicker as he breathed more heavily. Your heart pounded so fast and hard that you were worried that he could hear it from across the room.

Your eyebrows pulled together as you stared at him, your eyes shining with curiosity. You waited with bated breath for Joel to say what he was meant to tell you. He looked at you desperately before he moved from his spot, striding towards you but before he could reach you, someone barged through the door of your home with a loud bang.

“Hey! I knew I’d find you here.” Ellie yelled without looking at both of you. Once her eyes settled on both Joel and you her mouth fell open. “What’s happening?”

You were breathing heavily as you looked at Joel. Eventually you brought your gaze to the teen. “N-nothing, Ellie bean.” You stuttered out quickly, moving away from the kitchen towards the younger girl. “We just had dinner.”

Her eyes widened, “without me?”

Your face flushed with embarrassment before you turned around to look at Joel. “I thought she was at—”

“I’m assuming you told her I wasn’t home tonight, right?” Ellie cut you off, raising one of her eyebrows as she looked at him.

Wait what? Did he want to be alone with me?

Joel swallowed and then avoided both Ellie and your gazes. “Alright.” She snorted.

“I think it's better if we go home.” Joel finally spoke up, before walking towards Ellie. You feel yourself deflate at his words and you can’t help but feel a bit disappointed.

“O-okay.” You whispered, looking down as you entwined both of your hands nervously.

Ellie looked at you with sympathy before glaring up at Joel. “You’re so stupid.” She grumbled under her breath as she gave him a shove as she made her way to the front door.

“Ellie,” he warned her.

“You are.” She sneered.

Joel sighed deeply as he pinched the bridge of his nose. He dropped his hand before looking at you. “Thank you for dinner,” he said with a small but grateful smile.

“Thank you for fixing my bench on the front porch,” you gave him a faint smile. “I enjoyed spending time with you.” You said as you looked away timidly.

“Sweetheart, you don’t have to thank me.”

You bit your lip as you avoided his gaze. He said your name softly before he held your chin gently with one of his hands, tilting your head towards his face which made your eyes lock with his own.

“I always enjoy spending time with you.” Warmth rose to your face at his words. He gave you a warm smile before releasing your chin.

You walked with him towards your front door, leaning against it as you tried to say your goodbyes to each other.

“I really enjoyed tonight.”

“Me too.” You said as you bit your lip.

“Goodnight darlin’.” He said with a barely noticeable smile before he walked out your door.

Your eyes met Ellie’s waving at you from in front of your porch. You return the action with a small wave.

“Goodnight.” You whispered before you closed the door behind them. You rested your back against the door, exhaling a long breath you realised you didn’t know you were holding in.

—

You were in too deep.

As months went by, you were more and more aware of how strong your feelings were beginning to grow for Joel. So strong that they were starting to terrify you. Not because you didn’t want to have these feelings for him, no that was certainly not it. You just never experienced feelings this strong for someone before.

It wasn’t like you hadn’t dated before. You had been on plenty of dates since you’ve been in Jackson, too many actually, you’ve even been in a semi serious relationship, but unfortunately, nobody had really charmed their way into your heart like they were supposed to.

You’ve never been touched intimately before, never had sex either. You knew how inexperienced you were but so far, you just hadn’t found someone to be worthy of your time.

You’ve never fallen in love with anyone before. And these new feelings were truly scaring you. For so long you were so certain that you’d never fall in love with someone. That falling in love wasn’t meant for you. That those feelings would never exist for you. The apocalypse hadn’t made things easier either so it wasn’t like falling in love was an option for a long time. But now that you’re relatively more safe, it was a possibility.

It was so much easier when it was just a crush, or an infatuation, despite the fact that you knew that crushes usually wouldn’t make your heart swell so big or your lungs feel so tight when you think of them or see them. But now, it’s a lot harder to pretend that it’s not more than that.

You always dreamed of the day you’d finally fall in love but now that those feelings were here they made you feel like you wanted to run and hide.

You’re not sure you’d be ready to confess those feelings to him any time soon. You were quite certain that they would be one sided, so you’d prefer to keep those to yourself. Because why would someone like him ever see you the way you see him, the way you feel for him. You were a lot younger than him, around twenty years or so. You’re twenty seven. So it seemed impossible for you that he could regard you in the same way you did.

So you decided to do just that, keep them a secret. And you were completely fine with that, with your feelings remaining completely unknown to anyone but yourself.

Or so you thought.

—

On a beautiful warm spring day, you decided you were going to indulge in your favourite hobby. Drawing.

You’ve always loved art, specifically, you loved sketching. If it wasn’t for the fact that the world ended, you’d like to think you would’ve studied art or tried to become an artist.

You were pretty good at it actually, not to sound too full of yourself. But with the way things were, your skills weren’t at their full potential. And besides you didn’t like to tell most people, keeping it a secret because you were always too shy or embarrassed to show people your talents. So you sketched as much as you could in your free time.

You loved to draw all sorts of things, nature, still life, animals and sometimes, people. But on top of your innocent drawings you also had a specific secret sketchbook that you only drew in when you were certain you were alone.

This sketchbook was dedicated entirely to indulging in your massive crush on Joel Miller. (Okay, crush is an understatement.) It was usually difficult to draw a specific person when they weren’t standing right in front of you, but you had seen his face so many times that it was nearly photographically imprinted in your mind. You would often summon his face up whenever you were alone. As many times as you could. Most of these were just his face, the sketchbook was definitely filled with several of him smiling. Some were just details of, for example, his hands or his eyes. Or even his nose or lips.

Everything about him made you feel warm inside. You would always be a flustered mess around him and it would even make you heat up when you’d draw him. Sometimes you’d have to take breaks from drawing him because you’d start getting too hot from thinking about him.

You often felt like you were doing something bad or wrong, like you were some sort of stalker when all you did was admire him.

It was a specific drawing you were currently working on, after checking and double-checking that you were truly alone. It was a beautiful day and you had the day off, so you figured what better way to spend it then by sitting on your front porch all day while enjoying the weather and sketching out what you’d seen the man do during your shared patrol the day before.

The drawing was him holding his gun as he concentrated on a target in front of him. You were so focused on sketching him as well as you could, wanting to capture every feature of him in the best way possible. You recalled his intense expression, the way his jaw clenched while he was so focused yesterday. His dark brown eyes and his handsome side profile—

“What are you drawing?”

You practically jumped and yelled as you heard the voice close to you. Hurriedly you tried to close the sketchbook as you addressed the person standing close to you. “Ellie! You scared me. What are you doing here?”

“I’m just done with school and thought I’d drop by. I kinda wanted to spend some time with you.” She smiled at you as she was leaning against the wall. The soft expression slowly turned into a more mischievous smile as she cocked her head to the side to study you. “You okay there, Y/N?”

You swallowed nervously before giving her your best smile. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well… you’re looking pretty nervous or flustered. Embarrassed even.” She said as she smirked deviously.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m perfectly fine.” You said as you tried to keep your composure.

You could never tell Ellie about the fact that you’re drawing Joel. He’s practically her father figure. Besides, you were quite certain it would make the whole situation awkward.

“You sure?” She asked as she leaned closer to you. “Could it have something to do with… what you’re drawing?”

“I— no. I mean no.”

“Hmmm.” Ellie hummed as she looked at you suspiciously.

Before you could react, Ellie snatched the sketchbook out of your hands at lightning speed.

Fuck. fuck. FUCK. Please no.

“Ellie—”

You sprang to your feet and quickly tried to grab the book back from her, but Ellie pulled it just out of reach at the last second with a huge teasing smirk on her face. Your face burned with shame.

“It’s nothing Ellie, please give it back!” You couldn’t hide the terrified desperation in your voice.

“You sure it’s nothing?” She said as she hid the sketchbook behind her back.

“Yes!” Apprehension fills your bones at her actions.

“Ah, then I’m sure you wouldn’t mind letting me take a peek at what’s inside right?” Ellie grinned dangerously as she moved the book in front of her.

“Please give it back.” Tears started to well up in your eyes as you pleaded for her to give it back.

Shit. It’s over.

As she opened the book on a random page, a gasp left her mouth. “Oh my god?!”

“Ellie, I’m—”

“You’re drawing Joel?” She whispered with wide eyes as she flipped through the pages.

You’ve never felt your face warm up this hot in your entire life. “No?” You said nervously but it came out more as a question.

Ellie said your name softly as she looked at you with a huge smile. “You have a crush on Joel?”

“I— I-I’m— uhm I don’t know, I just—” you stuttered as you tried to retrieve the sketchbook. Ellie pulled back which made you want to scream internally.

“It’s okay, I’m not mad.” Her face softened as she saw you look utterly terrified. “If anything, I’m very happy.”

“What?” You asked as you blinked your tears away.

“How could I be mad at you? I’ve always wanted Joel to be happy. He deserves that, even if he often doesn’t think he deserves that himself.” She smiled at you before looking back at some of the drawings inside the book. “They’re very beautiful by the way. I love drawing too.” She stepped closer to you as she went to put the book back in your hands. “Besides,” she shrugged nonchalantly, “he has a crush on you too.”

“Oh.”

Warmth flooded your body as you listened to her. You quickly felt overwhelmed by her words and everything that happened, you needed to sit down to process it better. You went to sit down with the book in your lap, looking down at it as you were at loss for words. It was very difficult for you to wrap your head around what she said. Joel having feelings for you? You couldn’t allow yourself to believe it. As you let her words sink in, she took a place next to you, placing a hand on your arm and giving it a small reassuring squeeze. Ellie gave you enough time to collect your thoughts and you were truly grateful for that.

You heaved out a long sigh. “I don’t have a crush.” You finally spoke up but not meeting her gaze just yet.

“What? But—”

“Saying it’s a crush is an understatement.” Your voice trembled as you finally looked at her. “I’ve never felt like this in my entire life, so it’s hard for me to deal with what I’m feeling.”

“Oh.” She said as her eyes widened. “You’re… In love?”

“I am pretty sure I am, yes.” You nodded with a small smile.

“Okay. Well he has feelings for—”

“Ellie, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have feelings for me.” You interrupted her.

“Oh my god,” she groaned as she hid her face in her hands, mumbling, “you’re both so oblivious.”

“What?”

“You’re both so stupid. So oblivious.” She groaned once again as she threw her hands in the air. “You both think that the feelings are one sided.”

“I don’t know…” you trailed off as you let yourself lean back on the bench. You’re quite certain that you’re the only one being so consumed by these emotions. You’ve pretty much made your mind up about the fact that it’s impossible for him to return any of those feelings that you have for him.

“The atmosphere when I came in the last time both of you had dinner, just the two of you, certainly didn’t look like it was one sided.”

“Barged in.” You corrected her teasingly as you bumped your shoulder into hers.

“Okay, whatever. My point still stands.”

“Ellie, that was months ago…” you sighed deeply and shook your head at her words.

“Stop. Why do you do this?” She asked exasperated.

“Wh—”

“Why do you believe that he wouldn’t have feelings for you too?” Ellie questioned as she leaned closer to you. “Like, you’re so pretty and have such a lovely personality.”

“I-I I don’t know. I just find it hard to believe. Besides,” you shrugged with a frown “I find it very hard to deal with my own emotions because I’ve never been in love before so this is so new to me.”

Her eyes softened as she listened to you. Slowly, she brought her hand to squeeze your arm reassuringly. “I can understand that. But love is a beautiful thing.”

“True…” you whispered.

“I can understand being scared, but Y/N you’re so worthy of love. Just like Joel is. I am convinced both of you are meant for each other.” She said with a hopeful expression.

“Ellie—”

“I’m serious. Just, please think about it for a while. You both deserve more than this secret pining for each other.” She grumbled at the last sentence.

“Okay I will. Can we please talk about something else now?”

“Sure.” She shrugged with a smile.

“Thank you, Ellie bean.” You said gratefully.

It’s quiet between you two, as you two sit in comfortable silence for a while, just enjoying the beautiful weather and each other’s company.

“So… drawing huh?” She grinned.

—

As Ellie and you were talking about your shared love for drawing you heard someone approaching the both of you. Ellie is the first one to look up and she greets the person with a wide smile.

“Hi Emilie!” Ellie beamed as your sister stepped foot on your front porch.

“Oh, here are my favourite girls!” She said with the biggest grin on her face. Emilie brought her hand up to high-five Ellie. “Hey ravioli.” She said as the youngest girl hit her hand.

Ellie scoffed and rolled her eyes dramatically. “Jeez, just because I love ravioli doesn’t mean you have to call me that. Can’t a girl love food in peace.”

Your sister doesn’t reply to the teen and averted her attention to you, greeting you too. Emilie gestures for Ellie to scooch over, before she plops down on the bench between both of you. “So what are you guys talking about?”

“Hey! That bench was recently repaired! There’s no need for you to let yourself fall on the seat like that.” You groan at your sister's silly behaviour.

“Recently? That was months ago.” Ellie counters with a playful smile.

“Ah yes, the bench that the love of your life repaired.” Emilie said with a dreamy expression.

You gasped at her words, feeling your cheeks heat up instantly. You gave her a light shove, “Emilie!”

“What?” Your sister shrugs nonchalantly, “it’s true.”

“Love of your life?” Ellie beams.

You sighed dramatically before leaning against the back of the bench. “Look at what you just did.” You gestured towards Ellie.

“Oh quit the theatrics.” Your sister rolled her eyes teasingly. “Everyone knows you have feelings for Joel except for that man himself.”

Your eyes widened as her words registered in your mind. “Everyone?” You squeaked.

“Yes, just like everyone knows that man is pining over you except for you!” Your sister said exasperated.

You shook your head frantically. “You’re ly—”

“Oh my god, Y/N.” Ellie groaned. “Wake up.”

“Yeah, lovely sister of mine,” Emilie placed a hand on your shoulder, giving you a serious look, “respectfully wake the fuck up.”

“Disrespectfully, Emilie, shut up.” You said to your sister, shrugging her hand off you. You crossed your arms in front of your chest, pouting as you still leaned against the bench.

“Why are you pouting? This is a good thing.” Ellie huffed.

“Yeah, this is a good thing. Why don’t you want to allow good things into your life?” Emilie asked, looking at you seriously.

Silence fell for some moments, before you whispered, “I don’t feel like I deserve it.”

“Yes, you do!” Both Ellie and your sister said simultaneously.

You bit your lip as you looked at them silently. You knew deep down that you deserved to love and be loved in return but it was so hard for you to accept that someone could genuinely have feelings for you. It wouldn’t make any sense, you were always used to people that were attracted to you to expect something from you that you weren’t ready to do or they wouldn’t genuinely care about who you are as a person. You knew Joel was different, he showed you enough through the past year. But somehow your mind tried to tell you otherwise.

“This is driving me insane,” Ellie sighed, shaking her head.

“Ellie,” your sister said pointedly at the younger girl before turning back to look back at you. “Y/N… you are so worthy of love. I know you’ve never experienced this type of emotion or feeling ever before, but you deserve to feel safe with someone and to love someone deeply and for them to love you just as fiercely. I know you keep thinking because of past relationships, friendships or situationships that people aren’t truly interested in you or that people don’t genuinely care for you. But, those people do exist. Ellie cares for you, I do, and I am completely certain that Joel cares for you too. You deserve to feel loved, cared for and to be happy.”

Tears welled up in your eyes at your sister’s words. You felt truly overwhelmed by everything she told you. Deep down you knew she was right, you were trying to believe her words but you knew it might take a bit of time.

“Thank you.” You whispered, tears flowing down your cheeks as you hugged her side. “You don’t know how much that means to me. It might take some time for me to truly believe everything you said but I want to try.”

Both girls went to envelop you in a warm hug, squeezing your body tight. You felt your body relax in their embrace.

“I love you.” Ellie whispered, at her words you hugged her body tighter.

“I love you too, Ellie bean.” You smiled, tears still in your eyes as you leaned your head against the crown of her head.

And for the first time in a long time you felt like your heart could breathe again.

—

A month passed and you still hadn’t confessed your feelings to the man that’s been consuming your very brain for a year. You still hung out whenever you could, but telling Joel how you felt about him still terrified you. But as time passed, you allowed yourself to believe the words your sister and Ellie told you. It was very freeing.

One thing that didn’t change though was your stubbornness. You are certain you will always hate asking people for help. Like for example, the fact that your shower head was acting up so much you couldn’t take proper showers which made you have to use Emilie’s shower at her place sometimes. Until the shower head actually broke.

That’s why a few days later, you were standing in front of Joel’s door, contemplating if you should really ask him for his help. You bit your lip as you thought about it. Sighing, you told yourself that you should just do it. As you were about to knock, the door opened.

Your eyes widened as you came face to face with Joel. Your cheeks heat up as you lock eyes with him. You know you shouldn't be flustered right now because he is the only one who can help you. And he did tell you that you could always come to him if you needed his help. Or for anything really. But somehow, you still couldn’t help but feel shy around him.

“Sweetheart?” Joel looked at you worriedly.

“H-hi?” You smiled sheepishly. “Am I coming at a bad time?”

“No, ‘course not.” He shook his head slightly, a soft smile curled upon his lips. “Everything alright?”

“I am alright, it’s just,” you trailed off as you looked away shyly. “I think I might need your help.”

Joel closed the door behind him as he kept his gaze on you. He motioned for you to show the way. “Let’s go.”

You giggled as you shook your head light heartedly. “You don’t even know what I need your help for.”

“That’s where you're wrong darlin’. A little birdie told me your shower head is broken.” Joel’s mouth twitched in mild amusement as you just gaped at him.

Oh my god… Emilie.

Your face burned once again. You couldn’t believe that your sister would tell the person you’re desperately in love with about this. You felt embarrassed, knowing that he knew about you struggling. As if he could read your thoughts, “I only know since yesterday, but I wanted you to come to me when you were ready.” He said as he looked at you, a gentle smile on his lips.

“O-okay.” You said, groaning internally at your stuttering. “Anyways, yes. I need your help with fixing my shower. I hope that’s okay?” You asked hesitatingly.

“‘Course it is. Show the way, pretty girl.” He winked, beckoning for you to move along.

He thinks I’m pretty?

—

Joel was standing in your shower as he tried to fix the shower head. He smiled as he threw you a thumbs up.

“Ah, here we go. This should work now—” Joel’s smile faltered as water started unexpectedly spraying out of the shower head. Surprised, it slipped out of his hands, dropping to the floor, the spray pointing up at him, which drenched Joel quickly.

Your eyes widened as you took Joel in. His white shirt and jeans are both drenched and sticking to his body. You could see the outline of everything. Your body turned flush with heat as you continued to stare at him. You couldn’t help but find him so hot, with his shirt clinging to his body. He grumbled as he looked down at the state of his clothes. Eventually you moved into action, “O-oh let me get you a towel!” you blurted out. You quickly made your way to one of your closets in your bedroom, rummaging for some spare towels.

“Y/N stop being such a creep.” You grumbled to yourself, embarrassed that you were staring at him so unabashedly. You’re worried that he might think you’re creepy, staring at him like he was the sexiest man you’ve ever seen. Well, actually, he was the sexiest man to you. But you didn’t want him to think of you as some sort of weirdo. That’s the last thing you want, for him to think you’re creepy. As you found the towels you were still in such a deep inner monologue while you walked back into the bathroom.

“I found the towels—” you gasp, accidentally dropping the towels on the floor as you took Joel in.

The man had taken off his shirt, most likely because he didn’t like the feel of the fabric clinging to his body. He took your breath away. As you once again stared at him you couldn’t help but let your wide eyes wander all over his chest. He was broad, he wasn’t really muscular but he had a solid build. He was strong and large, and soft in the right places. There were some scars littered over his skin here and there, as a result of the years of fighting to try and stay alive. Some hair was scattered over his body, your eyes trailing along his happy trail, eventually disappearing underneath his jeans. You felt yourself ache between your legs as your eyes continued to roam over his form, studying him with so much intensity. You were still admiring him when he spoke up.

“I’m not really nice to look at.” He mumbled.

Your heart ached at his self deprecated words. You couldn’t believe what he said. How could he think of himself so lowly? You thought he was the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen. “W-what?” You said as you shook your head frantically.

“I’m not—”

“Joel Miller, you better stop bringing yourself down.” You said sternly, surprising both of you. You sighed loudly as he looked at you with wide eyes, “I’m sorry. I just don’t understand the need for you to put yourself down when you’re far from unattractive.”

Silence fell for a couple of moments. Until Joel exhaled shakily. “You-you think I’m attractive?” The man asked, he seemed so doubtful.

“I thought that was pretty obvious…” you trailed off shyly as you looked at the tiled floor between your two feet. “I mean, it’s pretty obvious to everyone else.” You chuckled nervously.

You heard him grunt softly before hearing his wet, heavy steps, as he slowly made his way to you. Joel grasped your chin gently, tilting your face towards him. You felt your cheeks burn, you don’t think you’ll ever get used to his touch. Your eyes lock with his as he looks at you desperately.

“You think I’m attractive?” He repeated his earlier question more pleadingly.

“I don’t only think you’re attractive… you’re so beautiful. So pretty. Handsome…” you trailed off as you duck your head timidly. “Sexy.” You said apprehensively, before looking away from him. “I think you’re the hottest man I’ve ever seen.”

“I think you’re beautiful as well. The prettiest little thing that has ever walked this earth.” He whispers, his voice coming out a lot deeper. “Words can not describe how beautiful you are. Inside-out.”

You felt your breath catch in your chest as you felt your body tremble at his words. You slowly looked up at him, your eyes wide with curiosity. You couldn’t help but like how he was towering over you. He was so broad, so strong. You felt your face burn, biting your lip and feeling incredibly weak as his gaze stayed locked with yours. You felt light headed at the close proximity. You could barely think straight.

He brought his hands down to your waist, holding your body close to his as he smiled warmly down at you. He whispered your name, breath hitching as he looked at you intently. “Sweetheart…”

You breathed his name softly before his lips connected with yours in a gentle kiss. You gasped in surprise at his actions, but you quickly closed your eyes as he deepened the kiss. Joel’s large hands cupped the side of your face in such a tender way it made your insides melt. Never did you think you’d ever be able to feel his lips on yours. And here he was, kissing you. Your arms wrapped around his back, your fingers digging in his back the action making him grunt. His beard was rough against your soft skin, but was so welcomed. You kissed him back just as deeply, hands stroking up and down his back in a soothing manner.

He held you tighter against his body before slowly pulling away, resting his forehead against yours as both of you breathed heavily against each other's lips.

“I hope that was okay.” He said with a gentle smile. Tears welled up in your eyes as you processed what happened, having a hard time to believe that their kiss really happened. Never in your life were you ever able to keep your heavy emotions in control. Certainly not when you were overwhelmed. His forehead furrowed, concern flashing through his eyes. “What’s wrong Darlin’?”

God, why do I have to get so emotional?

“I am so sorry I just. I feel a bit overwhelmed because I always thought you’d never feel anything for me.” You rambled anxiously and your fingers trembled as they swiped under your eyes. “If you have any feelings for me, that is.”

“Really? I thought it was pretty obvious.” He smiled gently, his hands cupping your cheeks. Softly, he brushed your tears away with his thumbs. “Especially after… you know, kissing you.” He said with a teasing lilt in his voice.

“Yeah maybe…” you shrugged with a giggle, “you do have a point.”

“I do, don’t I?” He smirked playfully.

“You’re so silly.” You rolled your eyes lightheartedly.

“Only with you darlin’,” he winked.

You felt the heat rise in your face once more. You don’t think you could ever get used to his teasing or his flirtatious behaviour.

“So corny…” you snorted as you shook your head with amusement, “you’re lucky I love you.”

You quickly covered your mouth at the realisation that those words were said out loud. Your heartbeat was beating loudly in your chest, as your wide eyes met his. You wonder if he could hear your heart practically beat out of your chest.

His breath hitched in his throat, as his eyes bored into yours. “You mean that?”

Heat overwhelmed your body, feeling as if you’re on fire. Your mouth felt extremely dry, still you tried to swallow, nodding slowly anticipating his next reaction. “I do.”

The molten intensity made you unable to look away as both of you just breathed and stared into each other’s eyes. You felt as if time stopped in that moment, your bodies so close, yet they felt so far. As he held your gaze, he moved his body closer to yours again.

“Joel—” you whispered breathlessly.

He cut you off, kissing you by surprise. Capturing all the words you were about to say. Completely shocked, your whole body froze as you felt his lips claim around yours, hands pulled your face towards his as he kept pressing his lips further, almost to the point it hurt.

All your thoughts overwhelmed your brain, disabling any rational understanding of what was going on. Like a magnet, you felt your body move closer to his, moving your hands around his shoulders as you kissed him back just as fiercely.

You nibbled on his bottom lip lightly, eliciting a moan from him. Slowly, he pulled away from your lips, to press kisses to your cheek. His lips slowly travelled all over your face. You whimper as his mouth moved from your jaw to your neck, pressing open mouthed kisses all over your neck, your hands moved towards his hair, tugging lightly at the roots.

“How long have you been feeling like this?” He questioned, his beard scratching your neck as he continued to kiss your neck. Your body trembled against his as he continued to suck, kiss and lick your neck.

“Hmmm?”

Joel groaned and stopped his actions when you didn’t reply to his question, pulling back to look at your face. You feel his stare, waiting for your response. You hadn’t realised your eyes fell closed as you were enjoying his kisses. Unhurriedly, you opened your eyes, looking right into his.

You swallowed dryly at the intensity behind his eyes, your heart beating madly in your chest. A flare of heat rushed to your cheeks as you decided to tell him the truth. How could you not? When he’s looking at you with so much desperation.

“Like… at least a half year ago?” You answered, your hesitant eyes looking into his own.

Joel groaned loudly, enveloping your lips with his once again. He kissed you with so much passion, giving you everything that had to offer. His mouth moves against yours so hungrily. As he continued to give you long and deep kisses, you felt the heat rising within you. The throbbing between your legs felt unbearable as you whimpered desperately against his lips.

“I love you too baby, so fuckin’ much.” He rasped against your lips.

A gasp left your lips at his words and he deepened the kiss even more, as he quickly took the opportunity to slip his tongue past your parted lips and swirling it around yours. You felt as if your whole body was on fire as you continued to kiss each other ferociously, your fingers raking through his peppered hair.

He grunted as he pushed your body against the wall. His arms wrap around your body, holding your body close against his. You whimpered as his lips travelled from your lips to your throat, nipping at the skin which resulted in you squirming in his hold. Your hands busied themselves with exploring his exposed back, caressing his skin.

He moved his mouth towards your ear, “you have no idea how long I’ve been dreaming about holding you.” He murmured. Joel’s lips travelled towards your shoulder while littering your skin with soft kisses. “Kissing you.” His hands wandered unhurriedly against your back, his hands eventually settled on your lower back, just above your ass. “Touching you.”

“Please,” you whined as you tried chasing his lips again, gripping his strong arms with your hands.

“Tell me what you need, baby girl.” He whispered raspily into your ear. A shiver went down your spine at his words. Joel’s voice carried so much emotion. So much desperation and adoration for you. “I love this baby blue dress on you. Although it’s really killing me right now.” He groans against your neck as his hands finally move to your ass over your frilly summer dress, grabbing a handful of your cheeks.

You felt even more wetness pool between your legs as you thought about the fact that you weren’t wearing any lingerie underneath.

You turned into a bigger whimpering mess as he kept littering your neck, shoulders and face with kisses. You felt one of his legs sliding between your legs, pressing his thigh against your exposed core.

“Fuck,” you moaned.

Joel lifted his head and your eyes caught his, his lips finding yours in a rough kiss, not wasting any time as he slipped his tongue past your lips. The man is wrapped around you completely, a hand caressing your back, the other holding your ass. Your body trembled as Joel started rubbing his thigh against your soaked core. You’ve never wanted someone more in your whole life.

“Joel,” you whined desperately.

“Tell me what you want kitten.” He groaned.

A loud whimper escaped your lips at his words. The pet name turned you on extremely. Your hips moved against his thigh, grinding against the clothed material.

“I want you.”

A string of moans slipped past your lips as Joel moved his head up to lick into your mouth.

“Pleaseee.” You whined against his lips as you rubbed your sensitive pussy against his jeans. “I need you.”

“Fuck, you’re so wet.”

“Ah!” You gasped as he picked you up effortlessly. Quickly, you wrapped your legs around his hips. The both of you continued to kiss each other passionately as Joel carried you to your bedroom. Once he reached your bed he softly placed you down the sheets.

You felt the bed dip before he hovered above you. Joel’s dark eyes stare into yours as his hands move underneath the skirt of your dress, his fingers trailing up your thigh. You felt yourself grow nervous at his touch.

“W-wait.” You whispered.

His movements halt immediately at your words. He looked at you worriedly, “you okay, sweetheart?”

You wanted him so badly and you were extremely wet but you would be lying if you weren’t a bit nervous. Everything seemed more real once his touch moved closer to your intimate parts.

You exhaled deeply. “It’s just… don’t get me wrong, I want this. I literally want you so badly, but I’ve never been with someone intimately.” You said nervously as you waited for his reaction.

“Oh baby girl,” he whispered, looking at you tenderly. “Don’t you worry about that. I will take good care of you.” He smiled as he leaned down to rub his nose gently against yours. “But, we don’t need to do anything if you’re not ready.”

“I am ready, I just don’t want to disappoint you.” You nibbled anxiously at your bottom lip.

“Baby, you could never disappoint me with this. You'll always be a good lover to me. You’re literally perfect. I promise.” Joel smiled gently, looking at you with so much adoration before he pressed a kiss to your forehead. You felt your whole body relax once his lips touched your skin. You trusted him, he was your everything.

Your lips moved to his neck before you placed an open mouthed kiss to his skin. “Please Joel, I need you.” You whispered seductively into his ear.

He groaned loudly before engulfing your lips in a heated kiss. You whimpered against his mouth as his hands started slowly caressing both of your thighs. Your head was clouded with so much lust, you felt so much love for him. Your brain turned quite literally into mush as you continued to kiss each other deeply.

You moved your hips desperately as you moaned against his lips, hoping Joel would get the hint.

“Such a needy kitten.” He chuckled against your lips.

“Only for you.” You whispered as you looked up at him pleadingly. “Please, touch me.”

“I am touching you.” He counters playfully.

“Please.” You whined desperately as you wiggled underneath him.

Moments later his lips pressed against yours again. The kiss got more heated the more you kissed each other. Your hands wander to the back of his head and you pull at some strands softly making him moan into your mouth. One of his hands slowly trailed up your thigh once again. Your whimpers came out more frequently the closer his hand moved to where you needed him the most. Once his fingers come in contact with your heat you mewl loudly.

“Fuck,” he moaned against your lips, you’re certain because he felt how soaked you were for him. “You’re so fuckin’ wet baby girl. All for me?”

You were overwhelmed with warmth, it felt like a hot storm — as he spoke those words. You nodded frantically. You were sopping wet, you managed to speak but your voice is strangled and pathetic. “P-please. T-take off your clothes.”

“And leave you in this dress? Out of question.” He chuckled as he moved the hand that was touching your wetness to your thigh.

“Who said I wanted to stay in this dress?” You said as you raised one of your eyebrows at him.

“Baby—”

“Undress me cowboy.” You smiled as you pulled your bottom lip with your teeth seductively.

“God, you’ll be the death of me.” He groaned loudly.

“My name is Y/N but god sounds good too.” You giggled.

Joel shook his head with an amused grin on his face. His fingertips find the hem of your dress and you sit up a bit. You raised your arms quickly to help him get rid of your baby blue dress.

You felt your body tremble in anticipation, as his eyes roamed all over your naked body, his eyes not being able to stick to one place. You felt your heartbeat picking up as his hands reached for your hips, holding them and pressing your body closer to his. His lips moved to ghost over your neck, slowly moving below your ear. “You’re out of this world. So beautiful.” He whispered into your ear.

His lips then crashed against yours as you gasped openly into his mouth, desire growing, and took it upon yourself to guide his hand back down to your heat. His mouth fell from yours to unleash a heavy groan into your neck at the first slip of his fingers between your wet lips.

It's very, fucking wet, more wet than you'd honestly ever been and certainly more wet than he could've imagined in his wildest dreams.

“You’re so fuckin’ beautiful sweet girl,” he muttered again in a very raw tone, his voice strained. His lips trail slowly down to your neck, all the way to your chest. Joel breathed in through his nose, you flush harder at his words and shivered when he exhaled warmly through his mouth and onto your nipple. “The prettiest little thing I’ve ever seen.”

That’s all you’ve been given before he wrapped his lips around one nipple, teeth just skimming your skin as he sucked and licked passionately, as he also pushed one of his fingers inside your pussy.

The whine that came out of you only drove Joel to seek out more of those heavenly sounds.

“Fuck, you’re so tight.” He moaned, as your pussy clenched around his digit. “I need to prepare you as much as I can for my cock.”

Your whines became louder as you felt the pleasure overwhelm you. His fingers are so much bigger than yours, one of his fingers is more pleasurable than any of your fingers.

His tongue began licking, long licks with the flat of his tongue over your hard nipple as his other hand kept pumping his finger in and out of you at a leisurely pace.

You whined as your core started clenching around his finger, begging for more. Instinctively you began moving your hips, grinding against his hand, as he groaned against your skin. His lips left your breast with a wet pop and he looked at you intensely as he continued to fuck you with his finger. You were panting heavily, barely able to think straight as he slowly slipped another finger inside you. He moved his face back to meet yours, engulfing you in a passionate kiss, swallowing all your little mewls.

“Good girl, you’re doing so well for me.” He panted against your lips.

You bucked your hips up towards his hand in response, silently begging for more. He noticed and slipped a third finger in, moving them slowly at first as your tight pussy tried to adjust to the addition. Little whimpers left your lips as he fucks you slowly with his fingers. You felt so full, you can’t help but imagine him fucking you with his cock, you’re quite certain he’s massive. His pace eventually speeds up as you move your hips along with his movements. His lips moved back to kiss you, whining against his mouth. Your hands clutched the bed sheets as you moved along with the pace of his fingers, feeling him curl them and spreading them.

“That feels good doesn't it baby? You like it when I play with your little pussy? You like me fucking you with my fingers?" Joel moaned and his thumb connected with your clit, rubbing it at the same pace as he fucked you with his fingers. You bucked your hips and nodded as you moaned. "Use your words kitten," he taunts.

“Fuck, yes. Yes, please oh my god. Joel, please.” You writhed against the sheets as you whimpered. “Please keep calling me that.” You bit your lip as you squeezed your eyes shut.

“You’re such a good kitty for me,” he said, a smug smirk playing on his face. You were impressed how easy it was for this man above you to turn you on and make a mess of you.

Joel leans his head back down, trapping your lips in yet another heated kiss. You felt your legs spread even more open for him as you felt yourself get close to your first orgasm of the night. His tongue slipped into your mouth after another gasp fell from your lips. You couldn’t help but moan, whine and whimper as he continued to pleasure you. Your hands wandered to the back of his head pulling at hair softly making him moan into your mouth.

“Fuck, I need you so bad.” He groaned as his thumb applied more pressure on your little nub. He curled his fingers forward with every penetration until your thighs shook.

“I need you more.” You whimpered as your body trembled underneath his.

His eyes stared into yours, lust and love written all over them. When he fastened his motions inside you, you moaned again and squeezed your eyes shut. A burning intense feeling, a tight coil in your lower abdomen made your back arch beneath him.

“Open your eyes for me, my baby.”

You opened your eyes slowly, looking straight into his eyes. His intense gaze was what it took for you to come undone. The hot feeling spread all over your body, your body tingled, your hips moving at their own accord against Joel’s hand.

“You’re doing so well for me angel,” He said proudly as his fingers slowed down, slipping out of you to rub your slit softly, still helping you ride out your orgasm.

As you came back to your senses, you felt his fingers slip away from your heat. You felt your pussy clench around nothing every now and then and were dripping down the sheets, which made you whimper helplessly. You needed him so bad. And now. Joel climbed off the bed, making quick work to remove all of his clothing. You were still in a daze, closing your eyes for a minute. Moments later you felt the bed dip.

You felt your legs being spread further apart with his strong hands. A loud broken moan left your lips at the feel of his mouth meeting your soaking wet pussy. He dove between your legs, licking a stripe up through your folds and teasingly dipping his tongue into your entrance before he travelled up to your clit, spreading your lips with his wet muscle and sucking your button into his mouth.

You practically screamed at his actions, arching your back slightly off the bed once again. You felt your body trembling terribly. You needed more. You tried to grind your wetness slowly against his lips as your body continued to shake.

Strong arms were suddenly locked around your thighs, securing your hips with his biceps, holding you still despite your attempts to grind your pussy against his lips.

“You taste so good, baby girl. I could eat this pussy all day.”

You felt heat overwhelm your senses more as you felt Joel chuckle against your heat. His tongue was lapping sloppily at your lower lips. Squeaky, senseless noises came out from your throat. You were squirming, it was so good you could barely even figure out what he was doing with his tongue.

“Fuck, Joel baby, oh my goooood” you cried out loud. You were certain that if people walked outside your house that they would have heard you by now. He sucked lazily at your clit while he moved to slip two fingers into you. Joel eventually sucked harder on your clit, still occasionally swirling his tongue around your little bud while moving his fingers inside you a bit faster. You kept chanting his name between moans as you now hold onto his hair with both of your hands.

“Please, I’m so cloooooose.” You whined.

As Joel sucked your clit harder, you gasped loudly as you felt your whole body trembling even more and then you felt your body tense as you came against his mouth. Your whole mind felt like exploding and all you could see were stars. You felt truly overwhelmed by the amount of pleasure and emotions you were experiencing. Your body continued to tremble as you felt yourself come down from your high.

You felt Joel’s tongue still licking up your pussy as he retreats his fingers from your pulsing hole. His mouth felt heavenly, but you whined at the sensitivity. He moaned as he licked against your tight hole, licking up your release, his tongue prodding your entrance.

“T-too much.” You whimpered at the overstimulation.

Joel ignored your pleads, moaning against your heat as he continued to eat you out. The man you love so much that was between your legs kept sliding his tongue up and down your sensitive slit. Your little mewls and other noises spur him on, to move his lips back up to your clit. He sucked the nub softly between his lips. You were grinding your hips against his face as moans kept spilling off your lips. This time he didn’t hold you back from fucking his face. Eventually he leaned down, slipping his tongue into your entrance, he curled the muscle upward to brush your walls, the sight of your fingers bunching the fabric of the sheets in a tight grip encouraging him to do it again.

You were a mess of his name, you chanted his name over and over again. Your hips moved against his face as you continued to whimper and moan breathlessly underneath him. Writhing below him, you felt him lick up and press against a sensitive spot inside that had you seeing stars, while your hips bucked against his face uncontrollably. Defiance and greed consumes your thoughts, your fingers once again gripped onto his peppered hair rather harshly and hips pushed against his face to shove his tongue deeper into your hole.

“Ahhh Joeeeeel—” you drag out. You were really so close, you just needed one more little push.

“Come for me kitten,” he whispered against you, before plunging his tongue back inside you as his thumb came up to press against your little bundle of nerves. That does it, your dam broke down as you came against his mouth as your whole body wouldn’t stop trembling. You came with a loud whine, your hips stuttering as your vision turned white. You cry out his name, your voice unable to remain steady. Your fingers were tightly woven through Joel’s hair and your hips pushed so far against his face, you almost thought you were suffocating him.

“You’re always doing so good for me baby, I love you so much my sweetheart.” Joel whispered against you. As you slowly came down to reality again and you tried to catch your breath, you heard him praising you softly while he continued to lap at your wetness gently, until you whined because the overstimulation was getting too much for you. You Nudged your leg against his face as you tried to squirm away from him, Joel’s mouth finally detached from your heat.

He quickly licked the wetness off his lips and the places he could reach before he crawled up to you with a smile, to kiss you deeply, cupping your face in his hands. You moaned at the taste of yourself against his tongue, your eyes fluttering against his skin while you kiss, his wet beard against your face, your arms wrapped around him to pull his body closer against yours. You sighed, against his mouth, you felt yourself melt in his embrace already. You can feel his soft mouth smiling against yours, as the kiss gets more heated.

Soon your hands start to grip his body tighter against yours, your legs tangling together. It's like you're both starved, this insatiable hunger for each other.

You couldn’t help but roll your hips against his to feel his cock. It turned slick as you kept grinding yourself against him, and he had no trouble gliding his hips against you and rutting it into your clit.

“Oh, fuck” Joel rasped, and it was because he reached down and grasped himself to line up between your lips and slide. He kept rubbing the head of his cock from your entrance, up to your clit, circling until you squirm underneath him, and back down. He loved the sounds you made as he spread his precum around your slit, where you are still dripping for him.

You gasped openly into his mouth, desire growing quickly. You quickly realised by the way he felt while he rubbed against you that he was huge. You were still so wet, but the thought of him finally entering you with his big cock made you wetter. Joel swallowed your whines with his lips against yours, hips rolling against yours. He kissed you full with fervour, his grip on you intensifying heatedly.

You were trembling against him, filled with anticipation. His broad body covered your body with his. Loving how bigger and taller he was than you. You writhed against him, wishing he was just in you already and filling you up and making you see white.

“Are you ready for me darlin’?” He whispered as he looked deep into your eyes. “Let me know if you want me to stop and I will.” He promised.

You bit your lip and nodded, too shy and excited to talk, as you rubbed your pussy against his dick.

“Fuck,” he grunted, “I need you to use your words kitty.”

“Yes,” you whispered breathlessly.

“I’ll try to go slow at first, okay, sweetheart?” He said before leaning back down to kiss your lips again, he reached down and grasped himself to line up between your lips and slide. He rubbed the tip firmly over your swollen clit then moved down to your wet tight hole and your mind was all over the place.

“P-please J-Joel…” you stuttered as your body trembled even more underneath him.

He rubbed himself up and down your slit for a while longer before one of his hands lean down to spread your outer lips sliding his dick teasingly around your core. You arched your back slightly and whimpered loudly out of frustration.

The moment you want to beg him again he leaned down to line it up with your entrance. Your legs trembled underneath him, a mix of nerves and excitement. Joel slid the tip in so slowly it was agonising. Your lips part with a gasp. He was careful, like he was afraid you might break. You let out a long broken whine as he gradually pushed more of him inside you. You whined at the stretch of him. He was so big. You thought big was an understatement, he’s huge. Your tight pussy clenched around him as it tried to accommodate his massive girth. Joel continued to push more of his cock inside you. He leaned down to kiss your lips gently as he moved more inside, hoping the sweetness of the embrace will soften the sting.

His hips stilled once he heard you gasp loudly. “So full…”

“Do you think you can handle more?” He smiled tenderly as he looked down at you.

“T-t-there’s m-more?” You stammered with wide eyes.

“Yeah,” he said breathlessly.

“Please,” You closed your eyes and whined as you nodded. You gripped the bed sheets between your fingers as you begged him for more.

“Good girl,” he groaned softly. You thought there wasn’t a possibility to get more wet but as he said those words you felt your heat get sopping wet. Your pussy continued to pulse and clench around his cock as he moved deeper inside you.

Once he bottomed out, you felt his tip kiss your cervix. Joel let his body rest against yours as he allowed you to adjust to his size. You felt so full, as if he was made for you, and only you. The feeling of him filling you up so completely had you seeing stars and digging your fingernails into his shoulders.You felt one of his hands finding your hand, lacing them with yours as the other one reached up to your face.

His breathing was heavy as you squeezed his cock repeatedly. Small whimpers left your lips as you squirm underneath him.

You needed more.

You slowly opened your eyes to look up at him with pleading eyes. “Please, Joel.”

“My sweet girl needs me to move?” He asked teasingly, as he cocked his head to the side.

“Yes, please.” You begged as your pussy clenched around his thickness rather hard which made him moan. “I need you to fuck me so bad.”

He licked his lips before he nodded quietly and started moving slow and deep, one hand reached down to play with your clit, while the other held your hand tightly. The sting was hurting for a while, but it easily morphed into a more pleasurable feeling as he moved against you. You’re so overstimulated from all your previous orgasms that the sensation he was giving you is mixed between pain and pleasure.

He grunted as he dropped his head to your ear to kiss and lick at the sensitive skin just below it.

“Such a tight pussy,” he groaned.

The angle was so good, but when his pace picked up he finally leaned down to wrap his arms around you, the action made you gasp and you grab at the sheets around you, to fuck you harder and faster.

“You’re taking me so well, baby. Doing so so, good for me. Y-you’re so perfect.” He whispered as he nuzzled his face against your neck.

You whimpered as his lips moved back up to your lips, enveloping them in a passionate kiss. At a certain point you felt the end of his strokes slide into a pressure point in your core that has you clenching like a vise around his dick. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head from the pleasure he was providing you. A loud noise like nothing you’ve ever made escaped your throat, a strange cry of his name.

“Feeling good sweetheart?” He grunted, a small smirk forming on his lips.

His mouth covered your own instead as he swallowed your mewls, you could feel the tightness return in your belly, the tight coil that pulled tight, tight, tighter. His lips slid away from yours, wet and swollen and his breathing harsh as he tried to suck in air again, and everything was too much. It was just too much for you to handle.

He quickened his pace, his hips snapped up to yours to a fast tempo. “This pussy was made for this cock, isn’t it, baby girl?”

His hands couldn’t get enough of you, sliding around your hips and lower back, wanting to feel all of you, touch you everywhere. You moaned at the feeling of his speed, your fourth? orgasm of the night, coming so close. Your arms wrapped around him and your nails dig in his back making him groan. The feeling of the coil tightening in your belly, tingling down to your legs, ready to snap at any moment.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, cursing under his breath when you purposefully tighten your walls around him. “You look so pretty when you’re stretched around my cock, Christ I bet you’d look so pretty full of my cum too.”

“Please…” you moaned as you thought about him filling you up. “Please Joel, fill this pussy up.”

He groaned as he buried his face into your neck as he fucked into you, making the whole bed rattle at his force.

“You want to cum sweetheart?”

You nodded frantically at his words with your eyes closed as you bit your lip harshly. He brought one of his hands down, rubbing your clit with enough pressure to ensure you’d cum.

“F-fuck fuuuck, Joel-Joel, oh my god. I’m going to—!”

“Cum for me, my pretty angel. Let yourself go. Cum all over me.” He moaned against your ear.

Your whole body trembled as you came with a loud cry, your body squirming underneath his as you held his body closer to yours, your nails digging in his back, scratching it. That time around, the orgasm felt more intense than the others, you were feeling so overwhelmed by the pleasure. Joel groaned in your ear as your walls spasmed and pulsed around his cock, begging him to cum inside, desperate for him to fill you up the way he promised.

“Fuck,“ he moaned, pushing himself up as he thrust deeper into you, the head of his cock hitting your cervix repeatedly. “You want me to fill this pussy up? Until it’s all full and messy?”

You nodded vigorously at his words, whining even more at the sensitivity. Your pussy squeezed around his cock in anticipation. “Please…”

He groaned loudly, as he cummed inside you. The warmth of his seed filled you up and spread within your walls. You whimpered at the feel of his cum dripping out of you.

Once both of you caught your breaths, Joel leaned his forehead against yours before kissing you tenderly.

“Please… stay.” You moaned softly.

“Of course baby,” he whispered before pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead.

“Want you to stay inside.” You whimpered as your pussy clenched around him.

Joel groaned, wrapping his arms around you before rolling both of you onto your sides. “anythin’ for you, baby.”

“I love you Joel.” You nuzzled your head into the crook of his neck, enjoying his strong hold on you.

“I love you too sweetheart. You’re everythin’ to me.”

Both of you continued to caress each other’s bodies, whispering sweet nothings, kissing and holding each other until you both fell into a slumber.

Joel caught your heart, promising to hold onto it forever.

[salisburyliam]

My WORST to BEST ranking for Heaven's Secret 2 LIs

Oh boy I finally did it!!!! never want to read this book ever again, lmao

NOTE 1: We all know that HS2 has its flaws —S1 feels like a fever dream— but personally one that really irks me is not being able to choose whether or NOT you want to marry your LI. I mention this because many LIs routes are (negatively) affected by this sudden marriage imo

NOTE 2: Winchesto you deserve so much better than Rebecca.

7. Dino - He's never been a character I've been particularly fond of, but at least in HS1 he had some narrative importance (the dynamic with Lucifer was a lot of fun too). His relevance in HS2 is, well, zero & I personally don't feel the chemistry between Vicky and him at all. That being said. Of all the LIs, the only one with whom the wedding makes absolute sense is with Dino - he's 100% husband material.

Being good should not be equivalent to being boring… but in Dino's case, it is. 4/10

6. War - His dynamic with Vicky is… okay-ish? I guess??? They are a hot couple (I personally love his design & his laugh is sexy af) but the connection is lacking & there is no emotional intimacy whatsoever. They keep saying they're in love but are theeey? You don't know each other. Also, if you decide not to k*ll him and don't romance him later in s2 he's literally just a background character. 

I don't think this man is ready to be a husband - he should get therapy first. 5/10

5. Hunger - If it were a matter of rating characters, Hunger would be in the top three. His first appearance is one of my favorite scenes in the book along with the board game moment, lmao. But if it comes to rating him as a LI… The relationship feels rushed, to say the least. Marrying a character who appears halfway through the second season makes no sense at all - their wedding scene is just weird.

You guys met like five episodes ago. How about we start by dating first? 6/10

his smile is unsettling lol 4. Malbonte - Replaying this book so many times has made me really appreciate Malbonte. A soldier who will do whatever it takes to win. I love how everyone assumes that he always, always, has a plan (he usually does). But as a LI? His main emotion is rage and pure indifference. As a husband for life, I don't understand how that could work: I can imagine Vicky asking him how his day was and Malbonte's only response being '….' 😐🙄 Go boy give us nothing!

Seriously though. I really love him as a character, but he needs to join War in that therapy thing. 7/10

3. Astaroth - The first interactions are awful & personally his sprite doesn't help either (he's literally a male M*ley Cyrus) but he has so much chemistry with Vicky, it surprised me. Their relationship feels organic as you progress, but just like the rest of the characters that appear in the second book, it all feels rushed. The wedding option should ONLY have been available for characters that appeared in the previous book - with new ones it just feels unearned.

Still, it had potential. 8/10

2. Mimi - The only female LI (how's that legal) and one of my favorites. tbh I think she's TOO good for Vicky??? lmao. A character who is impossible not to adore (even judgy Rebecca gives her approval), in-laws anyone would love to have, and a route that is equal parts endearing and passionate. I confess I kinda miss her sprite from the first book tho

The only reason she's not at the top of the list is the motherf*cker below. 9/10 

1. Lucifer - Simply put, they feel like soulmates (he was my LI in the first book so that also plays into it). I haate his behavior in S1, but even with that rocky start the dynamic between Vicky and Lucifer is, and will always be, one of my favorites. They have everything: chemistry, banter, passion, vulnerability moments... I love the contrast of the Lucifer from HS1 with the Lucifer in the final episode. That's growth.

I sincerely hope the third book focuses on their married life and, hopefully, Lucifer being a girl dad 😍😍 10/10

CREDIT

[asharkapologist]

CC Tier List: S1-3 Killers + Some Explanations

I didn't include the guys from the first two cases because Matt didn't even have dialogue or a motive, and Dennis didn't really have a motive either, iirc? Or he was barely given anything to say or do? yeah so they're not here lol

Milton being in the offensive category is very self-explanatory (violent, genocidal racism), and the first two are there because of the genuinely awful way mental health is portrayed in the game??? Like Dr. Bishop is just "crazy," and Ophelia killed someone brutally because she had a sudden "lapse in memory" which made her have a nightmare in which she killed him? Yeah uh both are pretty stereotypical, damaging ways in which mental illness are portrayed. And as for Shanaya, the way that Native Americans were written in Grimsborough was just....bad. Really, really, offensively bad.

I've personally played all the games, but if I don't remember a killer/their motive/their name, into the bottom tier list they go

I will say that although I enjoy Danny and Erikah as characters, there is certainly aspects of their characters that are kind of stereotypes. (I'd say the same with Sheik Faisal, but he's a con man and failed actor, so he's obviously in the wrong but still kinda could be better).

Shelly is also a pretty nasty portrayal of a plus sized woman that made me feel kinda yucky (in general, PB made a fair few fat jokes with Frank and while I may not like him that's also kinda like...enough).

Also, there's... a lot of problems involved in the way that Duncan was written imo, as well as things that just don't make sense, like him just magically recovering from paralysis from a spinal cord injury. That's not how that works. But if you like him, that's fine, I'm just not the biggest fan.

Veronica is in the "feel bad" category even though she neither felt bad nor had a sympathetic motive because of SOMBRA brainwashing.

The fact that almost half of the killers, including the FINAL KILLER/MAIN ANTAGONIST OF THE GAME, is in the "I don't remember them" category goes to show how memorable I think s3 is...though if you do like that season, more power to you! I just don't.

[petitprincess1]

What critiques do you have of Hazbin? I'm wondering because I keep seeing a lot of criticism and hate towards it and I don't Wana get into something that's possible waste of time. Srry if thats rude

Dude, you're perfectly fine. I'm gonna keep it to like five points bc some things that I have problems with are mainly nitpicks. None of this, imo, is a dealbreaker for me. However, if it is for you, fair.

This is one that everyone has talked about and I fully agree with. The pacing is whiplash-inducing. I still do believe it's better than HB S1, but there is just so much information being thrown around that it's mind-boggling. The songs definitely help to slow things down a bit and introduce more info in an engaging, catchy way. However, I feel like there were some eps that either needed to come sooner or later in the series. I get they were fighting the clock, but still.

Lucifer and Charlie's relationship needed better explaining. Without going into spoilers, from what it felt like in the Pilot, it seemed like they were building up to something a bit more confrontational. I always figured Charlie possibly embellished Lucifer's words, but now it makes it feel like Charlie was talking to a completely different man. Someone that isn't even her father. Lu acts so much like Charlie, or vice versa, that it seems almost impossible to misinterpret his words.

NO FILLERS! The closest episode to a filler is the 3 ep, but even that brings up information and moves the plot along with key points. Now, that's not a bad thing entirely. It keeps you engaged. But this show very much lacks any breathing room. There's so much being thrown your way. Either things get overly talked about or not talked about enough. Which brings me to my next point-

The world-building is both fulfilling and empty. You do get a good sense of Heaven and Hell in this universe, especially Hell. You get an idea of the hierarchy and even some hypocrisy. However, we also don't really know how Heaven nor Hell operates. Like Lucifer appeared to be a shut-in. Yes, Lilith was the one inspiring demonkind, but what about when she disappeared? Is that why everything is garbage now? How much does Lucifer influence Hell? Where are the archangels? Was this conflict not important? Is there a "God" even in this show? What is Heaven's hierarchal system? There's so much being said, while also nothing being explained.

This one is the lowest for me bc I'm a bit torn on it. I've seen a few people complain about how the main characters are introduced as if you're supposed to know them. I didn't get this feeling, but I'm also a fan of Hazbin. I try to go in with a fairly "empty mind" so that I can view the material without rose-tinted glasses. However, it felt like some of the characters were given decent introductions at times. Idk. I'd like to know other's opinions on that.

Another one that I want to add is probably more diversity in the body sizes in the show. I'm not too worried about it bc Helluva Boss does a great job with body diversity, but Hazbin seems to be fairly stick and slender. But, again, I'm not too worried about it.

All in all, those are my biggest issues with the show. Like I said, none of these are dealbreakers, especially since we'll be getting a S2. Vivzie seems to listen to criticism, judging by the differences with HB S1 vs S2. So, I'm really hoping that we finally get to relax and actually get to know the characters more. Like, Adam shows the 7 Deadly Sins, while Charlie shows the 7 Virtues. I hope Adam isn't permanently dead bc I feel like this would be a good wake-up for him. He'll become the being that they were exterminating. But only time will tell.

Majority of this can be blamed on Prime and A24 for only giving them 8 episodes. I feel like either a longer run-time or more eps would've helped the show. Hopefully, they'll have learned from their mistakes in the next season.

[sepublic]

No Tree Left Behind!

Titan this was such an amazing storyboard pilot episode!!! I love the worldbuilding and how it’s all a backdrop for these characters understanding one another and getting together as a family!!!

Once again, we see Lilith depicted as much more antagonistic without any of the hesitation or awkwardness of the final product; But I do note that she seems to hurt a little on the inside as the Arborgeist tree falls! Her dangling Luz over danger seems like a moment that was translated to Agony of a Witch!

It’s interesting; I think I kinda prefer the final version, mostly because there’s so much more good will and love for Eda made apparent in Lilith’s actions, so when she does use Luz as a hostage and reveal she cursed Eda, it feels less like an obvious twist and more like. A painful betrayal, y’know? Like yeah she loves Eda so much that it hurts to know she still did that, whereas here the hatred is so much more emphasized so it doesn’t hit the same imo.

We get to see the effects of colonization, we see some more conflict between wild witches and the coven! I loved Luz being pretty scared of the whole thing, it makes sense for her to be as a kid! Meanwhile Eda’s hoping for someone who can appreciate the significance of this tradition, and Luz does! So they both make concessions for one another, they both appreciate, and it’s about life surviving, like cultures and tradition, even in the face of seemingly inevitably destruction! It was bittersweet yet ultimately touching. The Arborgeist trees are also the palisman trees of the final show, so there’s that loss as well! But like in the final show, Eda helps a sapling recover from the devastation!

Also; Pilot Gus! So he appears with Willow! I was surprised that Willow didn’t have much of a role here, I thought the title meant this would be the first draft of Luz meeting Willow but it’s already happened by this point! I love King having to trick the others into joining the party and his loneliness over no appreciation for demon culture seems like a precedent for The Intruder. I love the way his B-plot wraps back around to the A-plot’s conclusion!

There was a lot to this episode; It was definitely a simpler one per S1 vibes. But it was touching to have Luz better understand her mentor and engage with the meaning of the world around her. It was about how traditions survive and the core behind them, how we have to adapt to colonization sometimes. Luz and Eda dancing together was so cute! And I love the morbid joke that being ‘naked’ in the isles also entails removing your skin haha! There was so much charm to this episode, and a part of me wants lore like the Arborgeist trees and Allard to be low key canon to the final show!

[deluweil]

I was doing the S1 rewatch because I've seen around people complaining about Hen and Buck’s supposedly getting closer in s6 instead of seeing buddie more.

But the thing is Buck and Hen have always been close.

Hen has been the older sister to Buck from the beginning. (Not to replace Maddie, of course, but Maddie wasn't there for Buck in S1, and later, when she came, she had and still has her own problems.)

Hen talked Buck through his first wild weeks when Bobby wanted and did fire him, they played games on the tv together.

They helped Bobby through his rehab and basically developed a siblings relationship where the two of them, along with Chimney, wore Bobby down until he lowered his defenses and let them in.

A cute big sister Hen moment is when Abby comes to the firehouse for the first time and Hen is giving her the third degree, while embarrassing the hell out of Buck and seizing her up on whether she is worthy of her younger brother.

It's not for nothing that Aisha and Oliver are close, they were in this together from the beginning.

Now in S6, Eddie is just getting out of a rough patch and finally looks to be feeling better, same thing with Maddie.

The two closest people in the world to Buck are finally feeling better, and he doesn't want to burden them with his issues.

(A lot like in 5x11 when Eddie sees Buck laughing with the team and walks away because he didn't want to bring Buck's mood down - also fair chance that he was jealous of Lucy, like Buck was of Lena in S3.)

Buck originally went to Hen about the sperm donor thing because she and Karen had been there, and he wanted to know more.

But also Hen is a sounding board to Buck and an excellent secret keeper.

If we're looking farther back Hen was the one to welcome Buck back to the firehouse after the lawsuit and was also the one to stand up for him with Bobby, pointing out respectfully that Bobby is just being an overprotective dad (being respectful while calling him an idiot the entire time 😉).

Buck's connection to Hen is different than the one he shares with Eddie, for obvious reasons.

Imo, the sperm donor issue, falls under the same category as the gfs did. They don't talk about these things. I'm getting more and more convinced that for Buck, Taylor, Lucy, helping another couple to start a family, it must feel like sort of betraying Eddie.

Because they do talk about everything else, the year of possibilities, making captain, Buck's parents, Eddie’s family, everything involving Christopher, and so many other things we don't see but learn that they have talked about them.

When Eddie reluctantly tries to ask Buck about the donation, Buck looks almost traumatized lol which is the exact opposite reaction he had when he talked to Hen.

When Chimney tried to ask, Buck had a "nope, I'm not doing this with you, shut up" look.

But Eddie is different. He falls under husband category, and I will not take any arguments to the contrary.

Now the Buck and Eddie's communication and relationship this season is a whole other post.

But in the spirit of S1 parallels, Hen and Athena are finding their friendship groove again, and Buck reclaims his sibling bond with Hen again.

That doesn't make her more important than Eddie. In fact, it'll probably make her vital to the buddie pairing because if Buck confessed his love for a certain gorgeous medic/firefighter, it would definitely be to Hen.

I will hazard a guess that when Buck gets hurt and ends up in the hospital, we will most likely get a Hen trying to comfort Eddie and be with him until he can see Buck.

[spn2006]

your blog is really making me wanna get into spn... are there any seasons you like a lot more than others? Ive heard the early ones are the best but im not sure <3

omg, i’m so flattered that my blog has that impact :D i would say honestly to start with the pilot and go from there, because the early seasons really are the best seasons, i love them. my fav episodes from s1 are the pilot, dead in the water, bloody mary, skin, home, nightmare, something wicked, and provenance. that’s a good place to start if you dont want to watch every episode, but imo its much better to watch it all in order to get the full character arcs :)

if you watch it and end up really liking it, i’d highly recommend stopping after the season five finale or at least taking a break from it for a while, bc season five was when the show was originally supposed to end! after s5 the show changes a lot, its still good its just very different lol

[lovelenivy]

you know what hate crimes md enjoyers, idk if this has been done before but i wanna start like a little tag game: i wanna know your favorite seasons in order, what you think is the best episode each season, your personal favorite ep from each season, any honorable mentions if you have them, and your least favorite/worst episode in your opinion. i'd also like to have you sort the main characters/fellows from favorite to least favorite, plus tell me your favorite ship (and optionally, a ship you enjoy and think is underrated)! feel free to toss in any explanations for why you chose what you did. (: kinda long, but oh well – feel like it'll be fun.

i'll go first (so you can see the format) – listing seasons from the best imo, to the worst, and the episodes.

Seasons:

1. Season 3

Best episode: one day, one room (?)

Favorite episode: merry little christmas

Honorable mention(s): cane and able, words and deeds, family, needle in a haystack

Least favorite episode: que sera sera (?)

it was hard to pick the best bc i'm biased towards merry little christmas, but i don't know if it would be the best of the season exactly. as for que sera sera, nothing really wrong with it but honestly i had a hard time picking a least favorite too. great season – to me it's like the classic house season.

2. Season 5

Best: birthmarks

Favorite: under my skin

Honorable mention(s): the softer side, last resort, both sides now, painless

Least favorite: big baby (?)

i literally just barely remember big baby compared to the rest, i think, no matter how many times i see it. amazing season though, honestly so up there with s3 for me that it became a tough choice.

3. Season 6

Best: help me

Favorite: wilson

HM(s): the down low, broken (part 1 & 2), baggage, lockdown

Least favorite: epic fail, remorse (?)

help me is such an amazing episode, it always makes me cry. epic fail is extremely annoying tho and idk why, like after i watched it more than once or twice i started having a hard time rewatching it. and honestly every time i watch remorse i get pissed off on thirteen's behalf and it's just not a fun feeling. not a bad episode though. i know a lot of people don't like s6 but i love it.

4. Season 2

Best: euphoria (part 1 & 2)

Favorite: no reason

HM(s): skin deep, distractions, hunting, clueless

Least favorite: sleeping dogs lie

i recently rewatched euphoria and it's so fucking good i legitimately cried. sleeping dogs lie isn't a bad episode, it just is frustrating to watch for many reasons. another classic house season.

5. Season 4

Best: house's head/wilson's heart

Favorite: house's head/wilson's heart, 97 seconds

HM(s): mirror mirror, you don't want to know, frozen, living the dream

Least favorite: the right stuff

nothing really wrong with the least favorite – it was honestly a tough choice. also i couldn't pick a favorite, it was so tough. i honestly really like this season despite how short and different it is.

6. Season 1

Best: detox

Favorite: detox

HM(s): three stories, histories, control, mob rules

Least favorite: heavy, everybody lies (pilot)

the pilot being orange just makes me laugh the whole time so it's hard to watch, and chase's insane fatphobia in heavy is just disturbing, which is the only reason it's a least favorite. for the best i was torn between three stories and detox, but i think detox is better. s1 is ranked so low bc of general weirdness.

7. Season 8

Best: the c-word, everybody dies

Favorite: the c-word

HM(s): dead & buried, twenty vicodin, nobody's fault, post mortem

Least favorite: we need the eggs

we need the eggs isn't bad, the case is just ??? weird and kinda sad tbh idk. i haven't rewatched the c-word yet but i remember it fondly, so i couldn't really choose a best episode. is picking the finale kinda dumb? maybe, idk. i like a lot of episodes from season 8 surprisingly, like most of them, but it's so different from the previous seasons with cuddy absent and the late addition of two new main characters that it can't be any higher for me.

8. Season 7

Best: after hours

Favorite: after hours, out of the chute

HM(s): unwritten, bombshells, the dig, moving on, fall from grace

Least Favorite: two stories

god i really can't stand rewatching two stories. idk what it is but the fucking kids that house gets stuck with in the principal's office are so annoying ??? probably my least fave episode in all of house. but despite how s7 is at the bottom, it did have some great episodes. just wasn't my favorite season at all, especially as someone who isn't really into huddy.

Characters:

from favorite to least favorite of the main characters –

1. House (of course)

2. Wilson

3. Thirteen

4. Cuddy

5. Chase

6. Foreman

7. Kutner

8. Cameron

9. Amber

10. Taub

11. Park

12. Adams

13. Masters

favorite ship: hilson (house / wilson)

underrated ship: thirteen / cameron, or chase / foreman

Tags:

anybody that wants to participate! i know it's kind of long so no sweat if you don't want to do it. i'm also indecisive so i had trouble picking episodes lmao

[wawamouse]

( @heffer-wen I was going to write a reply but got lazy about breaking up this word vomit into parts, so… new post!)

(Also… yeah, ace is probably what I was thinking last night (lmao… “business minded” 🤣) I think I do see him as some shade of asexual when it comes down to it)

More thoughts on Torquemada (aka Here’s How We Could Have Had It All)

I feel like I recall seeing some interview at one point where Fontana admitted that he didn’t have much of Oz thought out beyond s1 and a bit of s2, and for sure the later seasons get wacky but there’s still Something there with most of the little bits that end up in the show, imo. It’s mostly the execution that leaves something to be desired, like Fontana and the other writers (I'm not sure to what degree who writes what) didn't really have time to think out the story beats of the seasons or else didn't have time to come up with something better/do some editing. I said a while back (idr where/what post tho), but I think if Alonzo had been brought in earlier, a lot of the same s6 plotlines could have still been achieved while giving us more time to know him and make his appearance worthwhile. Like, first couple episodes after he’s introduced could’ve just been those in-betweener scenes where we see him settling into Oz and putting out feelers:

Interacting with the other Gays (more screen time for them at last??) and getting the lowdown on Oz; I have my other headcanon (based on the crowd scenes) that the Gays sometimes help the Latinos move tits, so maybe…

This would bring him toe to toe with Morales or at least have a chance to with him briefly while the former is on his way out; maybe Torquemada wants to bring his own expertise to the game and tries to talk business to Morales, who’s got other things on his mind and blows Alonzo off, or else puts Alonzo to task with finding out what’s going on with Redding, etc. I think Alonzo could handle himself here, as Redding is no threat at this point, but maybe the real question is whether or not he wants to try to conform and fit in under Morales’ control, which I think the answer would be no, meaning...

Seeing Alonzo ultimately decide to forge his own path to the top and take his sweet deal with Destiny to the Italians

Miguel’s + the other Latinos’ storylines could’ve been largely unchanged meanwhile. Obviously some shit from s6 would have to be sacrificed to accommodate expanding Torquemada's storyline but lbr, s6 had a lot of going-nowhere plotlines as well as storylines that couldve afforded to be much shorter, so there’s honestly plenty of fat to choose from when it comes to what to cut. And introducing Alonzo like this would’ve helped bring the Italians more into play in s6 (could've simultaneously explored a little bit of the post-Schibetta world of the Italians, or at least shown more fall out), as well as the gays. Canonically Alonzo comes in episode 7, and what I’m thinking is basically to bring him in on episode 3 or 4 (right after Said dies) (get rid of the ridiculous Idzik shit). With the 1 hour episodes, that would be plenty of time to start showing his rise to power. He could occasionally cross paths with other characters and get on their radar while creating small moments to plant the payoff of the canon e7 & e8.

I just feel like the pieces would fall into place in a much more satisfying way if we saw earlier on how Torquemada was quietly moving things in his own direction and being either underestimated or ignored due to characters being wrapped up in their own stories. He’d have been there the ~whole times~ and the show could’ve ended with his move to the top feeling more earned, with a little bit more of his potential as a kingpin explored and hinted at with the season finale. Again, it would also have been a good opportunity to explore the Gays in Oz and see how they fit in. Like I mentioned in my tags of the other post, I do think Torquemada would throw some of them under the bus/not care what happens to them once he gets his lmao.

(A s7/new post-canon tale of a subsequent downfall for Alonzo might concern itself mostly with hubris; burnt bridges and capricious impulses might leave no one in his corner if he did lose his footing and start to stumble… I think also him being queer and not just a ~fucker of men~ like Adebisi would motivate his enemies to unite to take him down more so than if he were anybody else.)

[rey-jake-therapist]

i kinda dislike how the rop fandom is slowly refusing any sort of criticism. and i get it, after 2 years of nonstop harassment from dudebros they’re bound to be more protective of the show. but a lot of the discussion surrounding the last few eps are valid imo and it’s sad to see it be watered down to “you just don’t like it because it didn’t go your way”

eg galadriel’s character arc, how they wrote dialogue for the fight, the marvel-fication type ending on top of the cliff, the pacing of the southern plotline … i think those are fair criticisms tbh.

funnily enough i thought s1 had a bigger enjoyment rate for me than s2 which could be because they took some notes through reddit (crazy to think about) but i think the main problem is that the writers have good concepts but not execution (eg how they envision the dynamics between saurondriel vs what they translated on screen)

I agree with everything you wrote anon. I love TROP but I think it's important to feel allowed to express constructive criticism.

There's a big difference between what the lore-bros do, aka pile on the show without even watching it, calling it "utter shit" and insulting the creators, and looking objectively at season 2, its finale in particular, and point its glaring flaws while remaining respectful towards the director and the writers.

I feel like most viewers actually liked S2 more than S1 tbh. I myself think it's overall better, because there were many moments in S1 that took me out. The Celebrimbor/Annatar arc was incredible, and I didn't even mind that Galadriel and Sauron were separated because it made sense within the story : there was no way for Galadriel and Sauron to share more scenes, they couldn't be physically at the same place, at the same time ! So I really didn't mind it.

But they should have known that after 7 episodes, after showing Galadriel and Sauron being obsessed with each other, their reunion should have been epic. On that point, they simply failed to deliver, and it's not being a "bad fan", or "siding with lore-bros" to point that out.

Also I'm still angry for the way they treated Galadriel all this season. She was not only sidelined but put in positions where she had to be saved repeatedly, she was given shitty lines while the male characters got all the best lines, and the one moment she should have showed a little of bit of vulnerability was the one the writers chose to tell us, "oh look at our heroin who resists so well Sauron's temptation ! She's so badass !" I would have rather seen her be badass and not deprived of her agency through all the season, than seeing her toss away her feelings, and "shut the door", in less than 2 seconds because the writers remembered at the end that she was originally written as a the protagonist and as a feminist character.

[rosetheocto]

Hey! If you'd be open to it, I was interested in hearing your thoughts on any Failtopia pairings that you particularly enjoy and the reasons you do? Whether they be platonic or romantic-

YESSSS I HAVE AN EXCUSE TO YAP ABOUT CHARACTER INTERACTIONS YWUAJSJEJJEJR!!! OKAY!! So idk how put together this is since there is a mix of my typing when I’m super tired + typing when I just woke up so I’m praying that what I’m saying makes sense LMAO. TLDR: I really like failtopia’s characters

So starting off with what is probably the most popular dynamic in this series: Bo and Erica!! To say they’ve both Gone Through It is an understatement, and them both finding comfort and safety in each other is amazing to me!! Like. Erica’s had so many people die on her and the reaction to finding out that was nearly impossible to lose Bo was just. Flawless. Can’t believe Dan improvised that. And Bo was sent to just kill Mar and work for Screamith but Erica was pretty much the start to her letting her true self shine and developing an actual attachment to The Incident!! It’s so awesome how Dan has wrote them. we love our gay level 6 “friendship” girlbosses ‼️‼️

Mar and Orion have also gone through a handful of things before the series begins, and the relationship they develop as the series progresses is pretty dang interesting! as much as the fandom focus on EriBo as a romantic thing, more people need to talk about how Mar has explicitly shown he has a crush on Orion. MULTIPLE TIMES. The idea of Orion opening up to Mar after he lost his wife and Mar opening up to Orion after his time as the Dark Curse and AGGHH I love these two so much and the way they interact every time they’re on screen is amazing. old man yaoi

I imagine C!Failboat and Erica as exes. like they dated for like a week and were both mutually like “that was awful let’s just stay friends”, They had a bunch of small interactions together (especially in S1) and I like them being friendly towards each other, Erica finding a friend in C!Fail was a pretty good step for her arc! I also think the idea of C!Fail and Erica being childhood friends in non-Miitopia AUs very intriguing!! Any content of those two interacting (that isn’t romantic) is always a nice thing to see!

Taking a break from the more popular relationships/friendships in this series, we have Deko and Joker!! For two characters that barely interact in canon there’s a lot you can do with them! They’re just two anime boys trying to survive in this weird party. I have a lot of thoughts on them but I just can’t form it aghahajsjjs but the main one is that they aren’t alone in what they’re going through, and no matter what backstory you use for Joker it still has a lot of potential!! I’m sure people can explain this one better than I can I just really like this rarepair!! while on the topic of Joker, shoutouts to his friendship with Lanc!! You can’t convince me Joker didn’t have a crush on them. Just watch their interactions in Karkaton and you’ll probably get what I mean lmaoo

I just need to mention the sisters!! even if they aren’t sisters by blood, Chi and Erica both have the energy! Chi being the thing that really gets Erica out of her “I hate everything” phase in both seasons needs to be talked about more. They bring out the best in each other I swear,, again I promise I can talk about them more my brain just isn’t giving me the words rn, but I think Gnome explains it best!

While on sibling dynamics, Bill and Shrimp is so great to me. Like. Bill helping Shrimp out not only because he likes her music, but also out of the genuine kindness of his heart is so sweet to me!! They’re so nice every time they’re on screen together and it’s fun to see them battling by each other’s sides!! plus the matching outfits in the finale was also a great touch :]

I’ve mentioned these two before, but Bill and Chi are criminally underrated imo. Like. They’re the only members of the Incident who have just recently turned 18, Chi’s literally Bill’s mentor after he changed jobs, and their dynamic is just so fun to work with!! Bill’s more mature and ‘normal’ while Chi is Chi and will set things on fire For Science and I think scenarios where they’re together are really fun to come up with!! Same with Shrimp and Chi!! The sister dynamic they have is also super underrated, like they’re a Fire and Water duo!! I think there’s a lot of things you can do there :0

look I am more than aware these two have never interacted but that’s cuz Dan is a COWARD and knows that Bo and Lanc being in the same room would lead to so much mayhem lmaoo. Out of everyone in The Incident (apart from Chi obviously) I see Lanc getting along with Bo the best! a lot of stuff I have for them is pretty based on fanon but you can’t tell me they wouldn’t gossip about the lastest drama with the party and the outside world. I swear they’re besties, they relate to each other, just hear me out. I also think Rose and Bo can be great friends and they really have a LOT in common!! Princess who faked their whole identity gang ‼️‼️

I love Erica and Rose just being each other’s biggest hater, it’s my favorite thing ever. it’s canon that Rose only shows off for Erica to prove to her that she’s better than her and that’s amazing to me. They’re both just so done with each other lmaoo (also the headcanon of them each other’s gay awakenings is perfect)

I think Friend and Mar interactions could be cool!! Like for starters they had some pretty huge connections to Hank they could bond over. also I find Mar being canonically a demon mixed with the headcanon of Friend being an angel very fun!! I also think Friend and Erica could be fun to see, especially with Erica’s past as a Cleric!! shared jobs and trauma!!

Mar and literally any FailFleet member can be funny I think, like we already have the Neksdor Three obviously, but I think an ACTUAL Bob and Mar reunion will lead to someone getting beat up lol, everyone in the S1 Squad would all have very different view points on if Mar deserves to be forgiven or not, or if he’s a good leader, etc. and I think that there should be more done with that!!

Orion’s friendship with the rest of The Incident is also a very important part of why the party is the way it is!! There’s absolutely characters with awful relationships to their dads, fathers that are barely around, or just never had a parental figure at all. I LOVE that Orion was able to fill that void for those party members, and he does a damn good job at it too!! And of course the parallels he has with Erica is great, both are stubborn warriors with a lot of baggage, but also have a lot of differences, like their views on stuff like becoming a healer!! Orion being like a mentor to Erica is great. also shoutouts to Slapo, we love her. I think her interacting with other members of The Incident is also something that’s needed more!!

Speaking of fathers, scenes with Chat and C!Fail are downright hilarious! Chat’s insanity mixed with C!Fail’s attitude always leads to some crazy thing going down! Chat with anyone really is always a treat, since they’re way more than too much to handle most of the time, and seeing how everyone reacts to their shenanigans is always gonna be fun!!

Smuk, Rose, and Bob’s relationship is just perfection. Bob obviously crushing on Rose is so great to see when they have scenes together and Smuk basically proposing to Rose (but not really) with that ring is also cool!! And of course we gotta mention Smuk and Bob’s bromance in Greenhorne, those two were inseparable a lot of the time I swear, I love them a lot, I’m praying if we get S3 we have those three come back (along with Petunyawn)

Deko’s friendship with both Chi and Lanc is vital to his arc!! Similar to Erica, he had gone through quite a lot before S1 and traveling with them got him to warm up to them and helped him get better control of his powers!! Lanc and Chi being absolute goofsters while Deko has no energy is VERY amusing!! also Deko, someone who was experimented on, being paired up with two soon-to-be scientists is vile lmaoo, why do you do this Dan /pos

SPEAKING OF THOSE SCIENTISTS!! If you thought I wasn’t gonna bring up Lanchi at all then you’re wrong. These two. These two are my everything. They’re undoubtedly my OTP!! There is quite a handful of canon evidence (in both seasons!) that point to Something going on between them!! I’d list them all out rn, but imma save that for another time, so I’ll just stick to saying everything I like about them!! The way Lanc and Chi just bounce off each other is insane. I swear they can read each other’s minds sometimes, they actually just share a braincell!! Lanc being all nervous in the Finale and Chi comforting them,, and ofc Chi being inspired by Lanc to switch jobs in S2 is just GAHAJJJJW I LOVE THEM!! They’ve been living rent free in my head since 2021 and I can’t get them out even if I tried!! EVERY SINGLE INTERACTION they have can be read as romantic. I refuse to believe they’re just friends lmaoo

[buffyfan145]

do u have any theories on sauron x galadriel interacting bfr the finale?

tbh when i finished the ep i didnt dislike it so was a bit surprised that a lot of folks took it negatively. i understand the complaints and agree that galadriel's and sauron's relationship + individual storylines drag quite a bit but i think this ep laid the ground for galadriel to feel even more alienated/bitter about elrond and other elves and showcased even further just how shaken she is by sauron + she needed to get to adar. im massively disappointed about her lack in ep3 and probably ep5 too tho.

but when it comes to sauron/galadriel i think there is still a time to make them interact more via their minds? wasnt there a shot of sauron in s2 promo that looked exactly like the fireplace scene in s1? + adar arc is going to be the highlight imo besides the finale.

and maybe im wayyy too hopeful and delusional but the lack of haladriel + gal being too confident about where shes headed + trusting the ring too much + elrond warning her, makes me feel like her ending up with him in the finale is more likely. unless they resolve 2 seasons long character conflict in 1 fight scene ofc.

I'm with you and I enjoyed today's episode too. I don't have any issues with what we're seeing at all, and for both of them their scenes still revolve a bit around the other. It's actually more than I expected. LOL Does make me wonder though if this show was a binge release with all 8 episodes at once if those "it drags" comments would disappear. I like that it's weekly but sometimes binge releases are better especially since a lot of younger generations aren't used to waiting weekly like us older ones (I do miss the 22 to 24 eps a season almost every week).

But back to Haladriel I do think they are going to interact before that even without Nenya. It'll likely be more Sauron doing it since it seems Nenya gives Galadriel a way to do it now and he's always been able to do this as he did it in the s1 finale with her, but then I wonder if Adar is actually going to help her out and maybe teach her to do it as some think he used to be able to communicate with Sauron mentally before he "killed" him and severed their connection.

Still a chance she and Adar's storyline is in ep 2.5 though as the Battle of Eregion is in eps 6, 7, and 8, so they need an episode to set up her and Adar teaming up. I feel 6 would be too rushed if it the battle starts in that episode. She's also already wearing the same outfit she fights Sauron in, in the finale too. So I'd be pretty shocked if she's not in next week's episode.

And I agree with you that it does seem to still be a chance that Haladriel ends up together or on the same in the end and the cliffhanger to lead us into s3. I mentioned this in other posts but it does seem like they could be setting up a pattern where they spend almost all of s1 together, most of s2 apart, most of s3 together, and then he goes to Numenor after they split for good and Celeborn comes back to set up s4, and then the final battle in s5 to set up the 3rd Age/LOTR books/movies. Plans could change in case Amazon forces them to end the show early if they really are getting smaller ratings (still have to wait for the Nielsen ratings but that Samba report yesterday as scared some fans and made the haters thinking the show is getting cancelled), but it seems like this could be the 5 season plan and fit why Charlie said their relationship would be a major storyline for all 5 seasons, so it's not going to wrap up after just 2 seasons.

[jugheadvarchoni]

Ranking my Top 10 Riverdale relationships

Buckle up for this one. Got some hot takes for ya, and I yap for too long about my favorites. I also just want to preface this by saying every single relationship in this show has its faults, like relationships irl. And Riverdale in general didn’t do a great job with writing friendships specifically. So a lot of the friendships on this list don’t have a ton of material. A lot of my own feelings and head canons therefore play a big part.

Once again, these are MY opinions! :)

10. Jughead & Tabitha

None of Jughead’s romantic relationships did that much for me. Tabitha was the only where I was like “eh, that’s fine”. Their chemistry wasn’t anything to write home about, but they were sweet & I think Tabitha is a good character. They were done SO dirty in S7 tho…

9. Archie & Reggie (platonic)

This is mainly for the S7 of it all. The threesome was NOT it, but their bromance was so fcking adorable and hilarious in S7. I did love the rivalry they had in previous seasons too.

8. Toni & Tabitha (platonic)

Ughhhh what an underrated and healthy friendship. Tabitha in general deserved more/better, but what we did get with these two was awesome. Easily of the BEST dynamics in the S5/S6 era of the show.

7. Betty & Veronica (platonic)

Beronica. SOOOOO iconic. One of the most iconic duos in comics. But… I think a lot of their relationship was very one-sided, with Veronica often being a much better friend to Betty. Mainly in S2-S6. Their closeness fell off after S1 and then S7 they kinda rekindled it, but also went romantic with it. Which, personally, I wasn’t the biggest fan of. I felt like the opportunity to properly explore that (and not have it feel tacked on) passed a long time ago. But alas, they are incredibly iconic and I loved them in S1.

6. Kevin & Clay

Clay, the love interest Kevin always DESERVED. Loving, supportive, kind, it’s just too bad it took them until S7 to give us this kind of relationship for Kevin. And between Clay's social justice & art, he wasn't just a one-dimensional love interest either. One of only TWO canonically confirmed endgames on the show, I enjoyed watching their relationship grow over the final season.

5. Jughead & Cheryl (platonic)

ALRIGHT, hear me out! This one may be a little niche, and we didn’t get that much of them, but I wanted more SOOOOO BADLY. They are so very opposite in many, many ways, but that’s part of why their dynamic could’ve been so interesting and fun. I think their scenes in 7x18 are very indicative of the kind of hilarity that could’ve ensued from their friendship. Even though they fight and are snarky with one another, there was almost always a mutual respect and trust between them. Also, the fact that there is 0 chance for romance & they’re two of my absolute favorites just makes it even more appealing to me lol.

4. Veronica & Cheryl (platonic)

The friendship Veronica always deserved imo! Yeah, it may be one of the more complicated ones. But they’re two sides of the same coin, who went through SO much together. Nick, the maple rum business, Veronica helping Toni save Cheryl from Quiet Mercy, etc. I feel like they were often very supportive without having to be so outright about it. They have had a very intense rivalry and some not so great moments (Cheryl slut shaming the girls, Veronica included), but at the end of the day their dynamic is so interesting and their pasts/families are so similarly dark and messed up that I think they could’ve been the best friendship on the show.

3. Archie & Jughead (platonic)

Ohhhhhh my best boys! I’ve always found them to be the real heart and soul of the source material. Like most of the friendships on the show, they definitely dropped off in later seasons, they went through so much, supported each other through so much, that it’s hard to not keep rooting for them, even if the writers let their romantic relationships get in the way of showcasing their great friendship. Despite fights and disagreements, they always come back together to support the other when they need it. Like Archie having Jughead stay at his house when Jug was living at school, when Jughead followed Archie on the run, or when Archie stood up for Jughead against Reggie. They will always be my favorite Riverdale friendship and I wish they hadn’t been another victim of the rvd writers in the later seasons.

2. Archie & Veronica

My beautiful Varchie… They were my very first ship on the show, I was rooting for them from the very beginning. Their blooming romance in S1 specifically had so much heart, that their scenes still stand out as some of the cutest and most sincere moments on the show for me. She was there by his side when Fred was shot, they were both there for each other with everything Hiram put them through, even when Archie was imprisoned. They are over-hated to an insane degree, and tend to be reduced to being “all about sex” for a lot of fans, which I just find kind of… gross. They’re emotional, young, consensually physical together, both attractive people, so what’s wrong with that? All that doesn’t mean they don’t have a genuine connection.

I think Archie really shows her that she can and deserves to love and be loved by someone else, that love isn’t about money or power but about support & respect. Likewise, Archie gets strength from her, he’s introduced into a whole new world, one that helps him grow and figure out what he wants from life. He brings her down to earth and she teaches him to reach for the stars. I think growing together and learning from one another is such a beautiful and integral part of any relationship. Also imo, they have chemistry in freakin SPADES. Ugh I just really love them together. They deserved to be endgame, to find their way back to each other and moved to California to experience a new way of life together.

1. Cheryl & Toni

MY BELOVED CHONI. Was there really any other option here? Their love story is truly one of the most heartwarming and beautiful ones I’ve ever seen on tv. Enemies to lovers to exes to starcrossed lovers across all space and time. True soulmates, meant to find each other time and time again in every universe. Despite every relationship being turned on its head in S7, Choni were the only consistent ones. Only wanted each other. And even though they were estranged for 7 years and went through crazy (sometimes toxic shit) in high school, they never fell out of love. They came out of it all stronger and better for it all, even. Before S7, their relationship fell to the wayside, as did almost every other pairing (*sideyes Bughead*), but everything we got still showed them to be incredibly supportive, loving, and loyal.

Toni was there for Cheryl every step of the way, she helped her come out, she made her see that she’s worthy of love. That she is more than what her family abused her into thinking. And Cheryl had her personal issues and didn’t always handle it well, but she ALWAYS had Toni’s best interests at heart. Always. She gave Toni the family and life she’d always craved, Cheryl gave HER a kind of love she didn’t realize she deserved. A bombastic, passionate love full of mutual support. They were there for each other, without hesitation. And S7 just showed that they had all that AND had grown and learned from their past mistakes. S7 showed Toni having more agency, with Cheryl right there to actively support her in everything she chose to do. Not to mention, Madelaine & Vanessa’s chemistry was outta this world insane… like… whoa.

One of the ONLY endgames on the show! They got their happy ending, found a life together full of art and love. They lived full gorgeous sexy lives with their son Dale, and are now together forever in the Sweet hereafter. Iconic. Beautiful. SOULMATES. 🫶

[lornaka]

Thoughts on TBB s2 finale

Spoilers under the cut. Most of this is a compilation of thoughts I’ve previously expressed on twitter and discord so nothing new to some of you perhaps! Disclaimer: I still love the show with my whole heart and greatly respect the hard work of everyone who worked on it, so please don’t hate on the show in replies and comments to this post. Either keep it to relevant constructive criticism of the narrative and thoughtful analysis/discussion, or make your own posts, thanks

Idk I was just left.. hollow after s2 finale of tbb, like, there were no upsides/positive stimulating moments? It didn't leave me with an excited feeling for what's to come, more like "this is very bleak and miserable, I want s3 purely in the hope of it getting better somehow". I really was expecting some sort of catharsis from tbb s2 finale but got the complete opposite. It's a tell that something didn't work for me when I got no inspiration to draw anything tbh. S1 finale was confusing and not all that happy too but it left.. idk, something to be hopeful about, something affirming to it, amidst all destruction and separation.  I wonder what s3 will look like with this sort of a cliffhanger. Unless they somehow resolve it in the first few episodes of the next season, the whole format would have to be changed, no more one-off adventures between the main plot heavy episodes etc. Regarding Hunter and his complete lack of emotionality and motivation outside of his relationship with Omega, at this point I seriously can’t tell if the writers are purposefully writing Hunter in a way that makes him come off as, well, failing as a brother and a leader. All I know is that after each finale, s1 and s2, I’m left with a desire for him to own up to his mistakes to grow. I love Hunter a lot and I enjoy flawed characters with good hearts. But when they mess up, I want the narrative to frame it such, and for them to grow from there. Otherwise it’s just inconsistent writing. At this moment, I feel like Hunter needs a “redemption” arc as much as Crosshair, as far as family drama and letting each other down goes. This is why I was so happy when it seemed like they’d finally go to rescue Crosshair specifically (welp.) They needed to do that imo, Hunter most of all, he needs to own up to leaving his brother behind once and for all and actually *do* smth about it. Was it understandable when they had to flee and couldn’t come back for Cross before they knew about the chips and arguably after? Absolutely. Doesn’t change the fact that Cross was left behind and got hurt, doesn’t make it better. So even if Hunter’s decision is justified, his lack of regret over his brother getting hurt in the process is not. I can see him repressing it all bc that’s Hunter, he is the king of repressing his emotions for the sake of moving forward, but his issues do not excuse him, and I want him to gain awareness and grow past these issues.  And speaking of Crosshair. It’s so weird, structurally if nothing else, how the previous few episodes built up all these emotional stakes over Crosshair, specifically his withstanding intense torture from Hemlock meant to break him just to protect his siblings, only for the finale to completely drop the ball on it. Tech sacrifices himself on a mission he specifically urged Hunter to go on because “Crosshair is still our brother” and then Hunter is like “yeah let’s not waste Tech’s sacrifice and forget all about Crosshair, okay?”. It made no freaking sense.  S1 finale left me confused & unsatisfied with the way characters reactions didn’t fit some of their previously stablished experiences and narrative arcs. S2 put things in perspective for me somewhat, so my best hope is that s3 does the same to resolve my confusion over s2 finale.  When it comes down to basic story break down, the core theme of TBB gotta be either about a family coming together, or it is about a family separating, one way or another. Until s2 finale I was convinced it was about coming together but now.. “We don’t leave our own behind” seemed like a clear set up for the coming together theme. Now it feels almost like a misdirection, an ironic twist to subvert our expectations or mb to explore how old convictions/priorities of these characters crashed against new realities of life.  And now that they’ll never truly be able to be a whole family again (allegedly), my hope for the main theme to circle back to a family coming together in a satisfying way has been critically diminished tbh. I think it could still work with someone dying, but def not like this. Even if everyone else survives and sticks together and Cross comes back, he’ll never have closure over Tech’s absence, for example. There will be no satisfaction for us as the audience in his brother’s sacrifice on a mission to save him, no pay-off. Then what is the point?  A character death is a very powerful tool within the story, so when it happens, it needs to be done extremely right to hit the right emotional chords and not just cause frustration. What frustrates me, personally, is not the factual death of a character in the canon version of the events, but when the presentation and use of it makes no sense to me in the story but the writers are trying to sell it to me as if it should. Then I feel like I’m being emotionally manipulated and nothing makes me feel more betrayed tbh. I can come up with an infinite number of explanations for Tech’s survival. It’s incredibly easy to suspend my disbelief and just say “somehow he survived”. But if the creators themselves actively try to beat me over the head with their insistence that no, it happened and I should be sad over it, nope. That’s telling, not showing. If you want me to feel strong emotion, make me, don’t tell me that I’m supposed to be sad over a character dying just because you decided to kill them to make me sad. As for Tech’s status, the whole Schrodinger Tech situation is exactly the same as Cross’s chip in s1 finale. Everything in the narrative (Hemlock bringing his goggles is sus as hell, 100% reads as hints at him recovering Tech and then lying to Hunter to manipulate him) points to it being one way (Cross’s chip still affecting him, Tech surviving) but knowing the writers, my gut tells me it’s exactly what they say on the surface with their words and he’s gone. I hope I’m wrong because the way this death was handled is meaningless and closes so many possibilities, like I mentioned above with the family coming together in a satisfying way etc. It just doesn’t work for the story beyond cheap emotional shock value imo.  So here we are. I decided to chill until s3 and hope things will make sense as the story progresses and the intentions of the writers become clear. Right now they sure as hell aren’t. 

[localfanbaselurker]

I’m watching “Voltron: Legendary Defender” for the first time and these are my compiled thoughts.

This is Season 3

(S 1-2) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8)

———————————————————————

<this one will be a little longer because I took more pictures when I watched these two seasons, as I got a little more invested in the show>

(Edit: apparently I can only put 10 pictures per post, so while I planned for this to be season 3 and 4, this has to be a solo season post because I have wayyyy too many thoughts and a lot of them need accompanying pictures)

Pre-Season 3

-> I wonder who is gonna be the new black paladin, I hope it’s Allura. Or Keith I guess, but his ass is NOT ready for leadership

-> I need to know where Shiro is. Bring back my Cruella Deville!

-> the witch is altean! This is gonna be sooo important I just know it

-> I wonder how Allura and Keith will interact now that she sorta accepted him being part galra. that’s actually a really interesting topic.

->Keith being galra is gonna be something very important as well I think.

-> Pidge BETTER find her brother and father this season or I swear Dreamworks is gonna catch these hands

Post-Season 3

-> ^if villain why hot?

->his ideals are giving Roman Empire. (I guess that makes sense considering he’s the prince of the Galra Empire)

->^hmmm.🤨🤔 (I know what you are)

->^Space TyLee! And Space Asami, too!

->^oh so Keith gets to be insecure now, I guess everyone gets their own “angst” episode

->^hes the first to comfort him! is this a “klance” moment? It feels like one

->^Once again have to talk about Allura and her dad. She already threw away all her dad’s memories and his “essence” of him. Now she can’t even stay connected to him by piloting his lion ☹️. I genuinely get so sad every time I think about her. 🙁 All I do at 3 am is cry. 😕

->I originally got super sad about that, but then she became the blue one and I was really happy. But I was reallyyyy confused about the schematics of the switches. (still kinda am) like the lions don’t fit their personalities. And isn’t it the point that they get chosen for a reason?? Like when the blue one chose Lance in s1? And the red one chose Kieth, etc. ?? I guess it makes sense for them to call on other paladins when Shiro “dies” (his ass is not dead, I’m 100% sure of that) but Allura fits Black/Red better imo.

-> But then again, I did like how it was executed/explained. “Oh Lance ur the new red one cus you accepted Keith as ur leader and now you have to be the right hand. Get it cus red is Voltron’s right arm??” like yeah. And of course:

->^Allurance!! I finally see it, now.

-> Also, my supposed question about “langst” was proven wrong, there’s more than just the “seventh wheel” episode.

“Not only am I not meant to be the leader, I guess… I guess now I’m not even meant to be a paladin”

He is really insecure about that isn’t he? Does any of this ever get resolved??

-> this season was huge for klance apparently. They have so many moments together. When they get dragged by evil elsa Lotor to that weird planet and have their lions talk face to face, the shoulder touch, them seeking each other out for/being the first to give the other comfort/reassurance, “Leave the math to Pidge” , Lance being the most upset that Keith isn’t at the parade thing, their teamwork in “Tailing a Comet”, “Yeah, who am I gonna make fun of?”

You guys just kept winning this season honestly slay.

-> The Lore drop that Coran did about the creation of Voltron/Original Paladins. Bro

->I’m still hung up on that. Honerva I could have saved you.

-> Gotta say though im all for an evil couple.

-> I loved all the S1 call backs to the original paladins “I’m a leg!” Like yeah 🩷 you are 💛 and the og blue paladin does the “lance in the intro” thing

->^When they form Voltron for the first time in the flashback, the colors are brighter, much like the original 80s show’s colors, and the captions later read “Defender of the Universe”, which was the name of the original Voltron show. This is an especially fun detail because not only are they honoring the “original paladins/voltron” of the show’s lore, they are also doing so in reference to the original show itself, which I think is all so beautiful

->Baby Allura is soooo cute!

-> We get Shiro back! I knew he wasn’t dead. Low key I was scared he lost another arm or something but no! He’s okay 🖤🤍

-> I did some research and it turns out he is in fact 25, I don’t know whether to be happier or sadder for him. On one hand, thank fuck he’s not like 15-17 like the others, on the other hand, he should be at the club. He should be finding love, he should be at his 9-5 paying taxes and doing laundry not having his arm chopped off and replaced with magic and having to fight in the space coliseum and then escaping and having to pilot a giant robot and be a part of an intergalactic war. (I suppose that last part is true for all of them, but the rest is shiro-specific, and it all makes me a little sad)

-> call me crazy but he looked hotter when his hair was long

-> on that note, WHERE did he find a razor. Did he just use a sword or something?? Like in mulan??

-> in “Tailing a Comet”, they apparently meet alternate space reality!Kuvira from atla:lok , and ASR!Bataar Jr. I mean, really, down to the bun and the mole, as well as the controlling dictatorship-esque behavior and the “really, this is actually for their own good” attitude when it comes to said controlling behavior. Did the writers of each show just share ideas or??

-> im so serious with that last question. The thing that came out of the “quintessence rift” that the original paladins had to fight? A dark spirit from LoK: Book 2: Spirits. Whatever tf happened to zarkon when he got too close? When Unalaq got possessed by Vaatu. I mean really, were they just passing cards like go fish?

->I genuinely cried when Keith left for the Blade of Marmora (to save time, I’m gonna start calling them the “Blades” or “BOM”)

-> however, I feel like him leaving for the blades is gonna be really plot relevant later on

-> I think that’s when S3 ended im pretty sure. I don’t have further thoughts other than those I could’ve discussed if I could upload enough pictures for my S4 thoughts that accompanied them.

These are thoughts I’ve had compiled for a while. I finished S3 on 06/26/24 and S4 on 06/30/24. As of today (07/3/24) I am on S5E3.

I will continue to post my thoughts/Updates on the tag “laura’s first vld”