#s-lf h-rm
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hello! i was wondering if you could make a fic even a short one on how bakugou (boyfriend) would react to seeing the (old) scars on your wrist for the first time. Just how he'd react for not noticing it before and stuff.
Authors Notes: omg yes i can! your my first person to request something so thank you so much. if you wanted a longer story im sorry. (also this is not my gif)
Trigger Warning: S-lf H-rm
Tags: Angst, Fluff, Gender Neutral Reader, Like One Use of y/n
Bakugou seeing your old SH scars.
yall would probably just be chilling in his dorm
like having a little date night or romantic sleepover
and you just changed into your pajamas and they show a lot more skin than the outfits that you usually wear
you both were probably just scrolling on your phones together or watching tv, then bakugou got bored. he just started looking around in curiousity
then he looked at your revealed skin, and kinda started looking at it. he did end up dating the hottest person in the world, so he might as well admire them
but his heart dropped when he saw tons of old, small sc-rs all along your skin. they seemed healed which was good, but that didnt bother bakugou the most
his voice sounded small and a tad bit scared when he spoke "hey y/n..?"
you looked at him confused. he normally never sounds this scared unless something is really wrong. so you ask what's up
"those sc-rs look pretty bad, and before you say anything. dont lie to me, i know that you couldn't have gotten that many sc-rs that bad from training"
his voice sounded a bit harsh, but you knew that he was just scared and worried.
your eyes widened in fear when he pointed them out. you quickly grab a blanket and cover yourself before trying to lie your way out of the situation. but its too late
bakugou knew what those sc-rs were from, he wasnt an idiot.
when he spoke, his voice now sounded a bit shaky. and his eyes looked glassy, it seemed as if he was holding back tears
"no, dont lie. i know that you got those from s-lf h-rm." bakugou takes a deep breath "but.. why?"
his red eyes shimmered with held back tears as he waited for you to answer him. he was so worried but he didnt want to show you.
eventually, you told him why you s-lf h-rmed (idk why you did). it took a lot of courage to open up to bakugou, and he realizes that.
when you're done, you look up to bakugou for his reaction. although your teary eyes slightly blur up the view
bakugou has a few dried tears on his cheek. and he looks like a lost puppy. his eyes are wide with worry and concern.
he never really had comfort and support for his mental health growing up. this whole concept of opening up to your loved ones is still kinda stange for him
"im sorry, i.. i had no idea" he doesnt really know what to say, but he'll be damned if he doesnt try his best.
"but, just come to me the next time that you feel like doing this. i cant have you going around with bloody sc-rs like its nobodies business."
he looks at you and your teary eyes. he thinks for a moment, but then he opens his arms for you to climb into.
you slowly climb into his arms and onto his lap. his arms go around your torso as your arms goes behind his.
and you guys just kinda stay there for a while, not saying anything. its a comfortable silence, and you both definitely need it.
eventually after god knows how long, bakugou whispers into your ear "why didnt you tell me sooner?"
bakugou was worring this whole time about why you didnt tell him. was he not trust worthy? did he do something wrong?
you sooth his worries by telling him that you were just scared of what he would say, and if we would take it well.
a wave of relief washes over his body when you say that. he thought that he did something wrong.
then, he says "good. this better not be my fault."
he pauses to think for a bit.
"do you need food?"
he couldnt think of many other ways to comfort you, so this will have to so.
happily, the two of you walk into the kitchen for dinner, and prepare to spend a whole lot more time cuddling tonight.
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#tw: s*lf-h*rm#pray for me y’all lol#visiting my family tonight and let’s hope my mom doesn’t comment on my scars…#they’re a little obvi!!!!#don't need her asking why i'm doing this shit to myself#very much do not want to explain my bpd and ex bullshit rn#v#belle speaks
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i feel like for the last six years I’ve been watching the state of tumblr slowly go from “it sucks but there’s nowhere else to go” to “well i guess there’s nowhere to go”
#can’t be horny. can’t be trans#ppl make a big deal out of not having to censor things here but I’ve had to censor s*lf h*rm since 2020#used to have a UI that didn’t suck but that’s no longer true#the thing keeping me from migrating to dreamwidth or masto was that there’s PEOPLE here#but if even more people leave that won’t be true either#I’m learning how to use Twitter. I don’t like it but it’s where a lot of artists and writers are#like at this point why am I staying on tumblr. it’s mostly just commitment to the bit
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despite how awful things have been, i'm glad i kept speaking up because the outcome with bob mowzie was wonderful. i'm really pleased he was so open and listened.
like, it can't erase the horrendous shit that was said to a lot of us or sent to people speaking up, but it makes it worthwhile to get a good outcome.
#i might not be super active because one of the things was#people sending s*lf h*rm in form of fan cams and it did send me spiraling a little#since i've struggled with that in the past#but i AM okay
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my icky feelings about drinking
#my mom telling me she thinks i’m gonna be an alchoholic bc my dad and my his mom are#and i have an addictive / obsessive personality where i rely on coping mechanisms instead of therapy or something#so i know i shouldn’t ever bc i genuinely will get hooked beyond repair but like#thanks for not having any faith in me idk#my dad also has drug issues so those freak me out too#i feel so weird not being able to recreationally drink or do drugs like mutuals but it just makes me feel. idk. awful inside#also i’m paranoid and highly anxious#it just wouldn’t be fun for me#i say that when i have a caffeine and s*lf h*rm addiction#and being bipolar or smth in that vein so i’m hypersexual to the point of harm#(to myself)#📜.scrolls#hard drugs cw#drugs cw#tw alchohol mention#tw self h4rm
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I’m roughly 6 months clean from self harm, and that’s big. I’m proud of myself.
Anyway here is a photo I took on the Colorado trail, a trip I have a lot to thank in terms of my recovery and self growth.
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looks like this episode is not going to be good for me
#literally the only two things i CANNOT do are eye horror and s*lf h*rm#what a great episode to start and not complete before bed#what good decisions im making#neverafter
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ahhh
#i know that recovery isn’t linear or anything#but if i have to see one more tiktok about s*lf h*rm on there i’m beating the app to death with a stick#and also my brain. things suck.
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I agree with anon about wishing him the life he deserve and moving on but I ain't sending a request to be my friend on not a damn thing lol.
I had a friend like that who cleaned fucked me over after getting out.It was crazy too because we were spending time together and all then he dipped.No call or text,just poof and was gone like he a magician.My feelings were hurt because I looked out for him while taking care of sick family and he knew that. Busting my ass working and going to school.He told me I wasn't on his level and he felt like I was a failure because I didn't have certain things during one convo. But how could I when I wanted to make sure he was okay while he was stressing every single time we talked because he owed people money etc?He doing well now and successful.I don't wish him nothing though because anyone who can switch up on a solid person who was always there got a lot of problems they need to deal with. I see him online giving motivational speeches or on TV doing it and talking about loyalty,I just laugh.He don't know nothing about that.Notging at all.He can go to hell though lol.I still got some things to work on.God not done with me yet. Lol.I do not care about him at all and if we ever cross paths in the future because of business,I won't even speak to him. Fuck keeping it professional.Gonna act like his ass not there.
Paying these niggas dust is a form of self care & I love that for yall 💅🏾
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and i think that kind of unwavering intensity and belief that Everything Is Going To Be All Right is the source of spark’s self-hatred. she knows not everyone has the same certainty as her. in the main section, a part of her is thinking: if chuji and quartz and obsidian, my oldest and closest friends, accept that tozi might not ever come back, what if he doesn’t? in the lost years, she is thinking: if quartz is so scared we’re doomed, what if we are? in the epilogue/finale, she’s thinking: if quartz and chuji and obsidian and lupus seem so down to move on from who we were and what our day-to-day lives were shaped like, what if they really are unsustainable? a rejection of her vision is a rejection of her. in this way, spark at the end of aote is a sort of mirror image of ky. neither can leave the vision of How Things Were but for different reasons.
quartz has just as much of a deep and painful love of How Things Were as much as spark does, but she also knows they are gone. she’s moving on first not because she wants to, not because it comes naturally to her, but because she can face the pain of leaving more easily than she can face the humiliation of staying, trying, and failing. and that’s the thing about spark - in unnamed backstory situations, in tozi’s revival, in dating quartz, in being friends with quartz, in her marriage to tozi. she’s humiliated by relational failure too, but unlike quartz, she’ll choose the humiliation without fail every time.
#making spark more like me (derogatory) as a form of complicated s*lf h*rm#aote blogging#vital light blogging#iteration 3.0
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I read through all twenty-one of the Ice Planet Barbarian books in a month. I am ready for death. Or a medal of some sort.
#finished the last one last night#why did i do that to myself#they were all free with unlimited but that's no excuse to s*lf h*rm
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having an adult acknowledge your experience w the church as traumatic is so . yeah. feels validating
#we’ve always sort of hesitated to use the word trauma for ourselves?#i think we downplayed our experiences a lot#but like. church is literally why we started to s*lf h*rm#and having our therapist acknowledge our experiences as traumatic is just. goo#confluence.txt#ask to tag#religion tw#sh tw
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ok im gonna watch first love finally
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what if just took a depression nap forever /hj
#raw dogging mental illness unmedicated makes everything so fucking hard#like i’m trying to fight off a spiral/episode#but i’m getting so stressed and overwhelmed because i’m too depressed to do anything#tw sui ideation#📜.scrolls#🫁.vent#i’m also trying not to relapse & s*lf h*rm
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Happy Place(⚠️Trigger warning Self Harm⚠️)
What if my happy place is in a hospital bed?
Wrapped in a warm blanket from the dryer
Would that make me sick?
To miss that moment
There are so many things self harm shouldn’t be, but are
I had never felt more calm
I knew I would miss it
But I forgot how many ways it served me
#self h@rm#s€lfh4rm#s€elfh@rm#original poetry#poets of tumblr#hospital#original poem#fucked in the head#spilled ink#poem#poetry#s€!£ H@rm#sh#tw sh#S€LF H4RM#sel£ h4rm
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hiii ive been reading a bunch of your work for a while and i luv em ^^. can i ask if you could do a scenario where sylus discovers your s*lf-h*rm scars? if its too triggering you dont have to
sylus reaction to your self harm scars
The soft morning light filtered through the curtains casting a warm golden glow over the bedroom. You stirred slightly feeling the weight of sleep slowly lift from your body.
Beside you Sylus lay quietly his chest rising and falling with steady breaths. His presence was comforting and as you blinked your eyes open a soft sigh escaped your lips.
Without thinking you stretched out your arms letting your muscles wake up along with you. It was a lazy, comfortable movement, one you'd done countless times.
But this time, as you reached above your head, Sylus's gaze shifted. His eyes, usually so sharp and calculating softened as he watched you. He always looked at you like that in the mornings-like he was seeing something precious, something fragile. Yet today, something was different.
As your arms stretched out the sleeves of your loose shirt slid back just for a moment revealing the faint but unmistakable lines on your wrists.
Sylus's gaze sharpened immediately. His usual calm, controlled demeanor faltered just for a second but that second was all it took for his heart to twist in his chest. His brows furrowed almost imperceptibly and he stiffened beside you. His eyes flickered over the cuts-small, faint but unmistakably deliberate.
At first, his mind raced to a darker place.
Had someone hurt you? The thought was instant, primal, filling him with a flash of anger. But no-he knew that wasn't it. Sylus was nothing if not observant and as quickly as the thought came it was dismissed. This wasn't something someone else had done to you.
This was something you had done to yourself.
His stomach twisted an unfamiliar feeling of dread settling deep inside him. He wasn't stupid. He knew exactly what those marks meant and for the first time in a long time he felt... lost. Sylus was used to handling difficult situations, staying composed no matter what. But this? This was different.
He didn't know if he should say something. If he should bring it up. The air between you felt suddenly thick charged with something heavy and unspoken. You were still stretching lazily, unaware of the storm brewing in his mind.
Sylus stared at your wrists for another beat before you lowered your arms back down, your shirt falling back into place, hiding the evidence of whatever had been going on beneath the surface. You turned toward him with a sleepy smile, your eyes half-lidded with lingering drowsiness.
"Morning" you mumbled softly, unaware of the way his gaze had hardened, how his expression had tightened for just a split second before he smoothed it over with a casual smirk.
"Morning, sweetie" he replied his voice even though there was a slight edge to it that hadn't been there before. He reached out brushing a strand of hair away from your face, his touch gentle, though his mind was anything but calm.
He didn't bring it up immediately. For the next few minutes he tried to act like nothing had changed like he hadn't seen what he just saw. But it was eating away at him gnawing at the edges of his thoughts.
Sylus wasn't one to ignore things, and certainly not when it came to you. He was always so good at teasing you pushing your buttons just enough to make you blush but this... this was different. This wasn't something he could tease away.
As you lay there beside him your head resting on his chest he couldn't stop his eyes from drifting back to your wrists hidden beneath the fabric now but the image of those cuts was burned into his mind. His hand resting on your arm felt the weight of every line every mark that told a story he wasn't sure he was ready to hear.
Finally, he couldn't take it anymore.
"Sweetie" he began, his voice unusually soft but there was a tension beneath it. You shifted slightly, tilting your head up to look at him noticing the way his brow was furrowed his usual calm expression giving way to something more serious.
"What is it?" you asked, your voice still groggy from sleep.
For a moment Sylus hesitated something uncharacteristic for him. He wasn't the type to dance around things but this felt... delicate. Like if he said the wrong thing everything might crack.
"I..." He trailed off, his hand brushing lightly over your arm, his fingers tracing the edge of your sleeve. "I noticed something. On your wrists."
Your heart skipped a beat your body tensing immediately. You knew what he was talking about and suddenly the lazy morning felt far too suffocating. The room, once warm and comfortable, now felt like a trap.
Sylus watched the way your expression shifted, how your eyes darted away from his, how your breathing grew just a little more uneven. His jaw clenched and he forced himself to stay calm, though every instinct inside him was screaming to ask, to demand answers.
"I'm not stupid, kitten" he said, his voice quiet but firm. "Those aren't accidents, are they?"
You felt your throat tighten the weight of his words pressing down on you. The cuts— something you had tried so hard to keep hidden to push away-were now laid bare and Sylus, with his sharp eyes and relentless persistence, wasn't going to let this go.
"No” you whispered barely audible your voice cracking under the pressure of the moment. "They're not."
Sylus closed his eyes for a moment, exhaling slowly, as if trying to gather his thoughts.
When he opened them again his gaze was steady, though there was something darker behind it. "Why?" he asked, the word heavy with emotion. "Why are you doing this to yourself?"
You bit your lip, tears already welling in your eyes as you tried to find the words. "I don't know..." you started, but it felt hollow, like an excuse. You knew exactly why. "It just... it helps. When everything gets too much, it's like... it's the only thing I can control."
Sylus's expression faltered his usual confidence cracking as he processed your words. He had never seen you like this-so vulnerable,so lost. You, the person who was always so bright, so full of life. The one who always smiled, always laughed, even when he teased you relentlessly.
He felt guilt settle deep in his chest. Had he missed this? Had he been so caught up in his own world, in his work, that he hadn't noticed how much you were struggling? The thought gnawed at him, filling him with a sense of helplessness he rarely felt.
"You should've told me" he said, his voice low but there was an edge of frustration in it.
Not at you but at himself. "I should've been paying more attention. I should've known something was wrong."
You shook your head quickly the tears finally spilling over as you sat up wrapping your arms around yourself as if to protect yourself from his piercing gaze. "It's not your fault, Sylus” you said, your voice trembling. "I didn't want you to know. I didn't want to be a burden."
His eyes flashed with anger-again not at you but at the situation. "A burden?" he repeated, his tone sharp. "You think you're a burden to me?"
You flinched slightly at his words, and he immediately regretted the harshness of his tone. He reached out, his hand resting on your arm again, this time more gently.
"You're not a burden" he said, his voice softening. "Not to me. You never could be."
You looked down at your hands, your heart heavy with guilt and shame. "I just didn't know how to tell you. It's... it's hard. It's hard to explain why I do it and I didn't want to make you worry."
Sylus exhaled slowly, his hand moving to cup your cheek tilting your face up so you had no choice but to meet his gaze. "I’m already worried, sweetie" he said quietly. "and I wish you would've told me sooner. I hate that you've been going through this alone."
The tenderness in his voice broke something inside you and you couldn't hold back the sob that escaped your lips. You collapsed into his arms burying your face in his chest as the weight of everything you'd been holding in finally came crashing down.
Sylus wrapped his arms around you holding you tightly against him his chin resting on top of your head. "I'm here now" he murmured his voice steady though you could hear the pain behind it. "We'll get through this together. You don't have to do it alone anymore."
And for the first time in a long time, you felt like maybe-just maybe-you didn't have to carry the weight of it all by yourself.
#love and deepspace#lnds sylus#love and deepspace sylus#l&ds sylus#lads sylus#sylus#sylus x reader#sylus x you
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