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lo1k-diamonds · 10 months ago

Text

Closer 💜

GIF by namchyoon

SX Seoul Series | Namjoon's Entry

PAIRING: Namjoon x Reader (You can also read it on AO3)

SUMMARY: Namjoon and you were friends for years — he was your confidant, protector, and haven. You didn’t want to risk it, no matter what, but some things can’t be kept in the dark.

WORD COUNT: 8.2k

GENRE: friends to lovers, smut (it's lovemaking tbh)

RATING: R (explicit)

WARNINGS: reader is shy and introverted, mentions of anxiety, being in the dark in an agitated crowd (reader is safe w/ NJ), fear of losing a friendship, porn w/ plot (lovemaking, or my version of it), unprotected sex (wrap it up), dry humping, riding, they're both shy and idiots in love but they make it 💜

A.N. Is this a slow burn? Am I searingly slowly taking you all on the journey that is kissing and feeling Kim Namjoon? Some could say there was no need to describe it in such detail. They would be wrong 💜

Masterlist | Masterpost | Scroll my stories on Tumblr | Schedule and WIPs

Someone called your name and you looked up.

“Come on! Don’t fall behind!”

You gasped mutely and rushed in between the ever-growing crowd to join your friends and coworkers atop the stairs. The line wasn’t too big tonight but you still preferred to stay close to them — no way you wanted to be left alone in a bar street in Itaewon in the middle of the night. You pressed your hands nervously, looking around while your friends laughed about something you didn’t hear. No, you didn’t want that. There could be weird people and drunk people, and you were the designated driver anyway—

“Hey!”

You blinked at Juhyun through your eyeglasses with big wide brown eyes like a deer caught in headlights.

“Come along!” She sighed, extending her hand so you’d grab it, and you did with relief.

You gave your coat at the reception with a polite head bow, following closely after everyone. The noise hit your ribcage with the force of an alarm, making you grin with gritted teeth but you took a deep breath and hurried along. It wasn’t like you never went out, or had never been there before. SX Seoul had become the preferred club of people working in the industry, and so you found yourself with a vibrating ribcage and sweaty hands every once in a while. However, you did get anxious in crowded loud places like bars and clubs. An elbow sank into your side as you followed after Juhyun and despite the person’s apology and head bow, which you returned, you smiled with a hint of tiredness. The night had just begun.

You got set on the couches, saying hi to everyone you knew who was already there, and smoothly offered to help everyone get drinks. That was an easy way for you to get an alcohol-free drink early on and successfully avoid being offered drinks for a long while.

“Look who’s DJing tonight!”

You had sat near Juhyun after handing her a drink and smiled happily, engaging in light conversation.

“Didn’t you write his breakout music video?”

“Yeah, I did!”

You smiled politely, a warm fuzzy feeling settling in your stomach — you might have not liked the constant background house beat that had you all screaming to be heard, but you did feel proud of your work. Of every concept you had written, every storyboard you had designed, and every screening you helped with that led you to where you were now — in a creative atmosphere surrounded by like-minded people who just wanted to bring joy and artistry to the world.

As the night continued, you were more and more comfortable, surrounded by people you knew. You didn’t think it could get better, but as soon as Namjoon arrived, you grinned from ear to ear and chuckled at your silliness.

“Hi everyone!” You instantly scooted over and made space for him to sit beside you and join in the conversation, yet as you tried to keep up, he leaned in, “Driving?”

You turned to him and smiled sheepishly, something he returned with a sweetness of his own. You had been friends forever; he knew the answer to his own question.

“Your hair,” he added.

You blinked then felt for it over your shoulders and chest, trying to see in between psychedelic blinding lights if something had happened to it or something.

“No! Just— It’s loose!”

You blinked again, pressing your eyeglasses up the bridge of your nose, “Well, yeah.”

He smirked briefly, looking down before facing you again with a gentle puff, “It looks good!”

Your lashes batted once before someone asked for his attention, and just in time. You could feel the heat spreading from your chest to your cheeks and turned to sip at your drink seemingly absentmindedly.

He noticed? You didn’t know why it surprised you so much; Namjoon was an attentive friend. Caring too, he always noticed when something was going wrong or a project was difficult. He always offered to help you out, and you did the same. You had that kind of relationship — friendly and supportive. Of course, that didn’t mean he had to notice your hairstyle for tonight. You had just let go of your usual braids for something more casual — just loose over your shoulders. And now there you were, playing with the long hair locks over your chest like your heart wasn’t fluttering at the simplest interaction.

“Hey! Let’s dance!”

You nodded at Juhyun and got up with a smile that crumbled just a little when Namjoon got up too. He scratched the back of his neck, sheepishly smiling at you and Juhyun.

“You don’t mind if I join you, right?”

“Of course not!”

She had answered for you because yet again you were pressing your lips. Namjoon wasn’t half as bad a dancer as he thought he was and you had all danced together before. Had you blushed then as you did now? You wondered as you beelined to the center of the dancefloor; you couldn’t remember. In the end, it didn’t matter. You smiled as you turned to Namjoon in that circle of people just randomly facing each other in turns. It didn’t have to be anything much, you were just having fun. All of you. It was absolutely fine.

He grabbed your hand and wiggled it for you to pivot and move around and you just laughed and did as told because it was fun. And not a big deal if he didn’t do it to the others, they were busy shouting in each other’s ears anyway.

You felt light and didn’t think it could get better than this when all of a sudden everything became pitch black. The music shut down and suddenly all you could hear was your ears ringing annoyingly and people either shouting or wondering a bit louder than usual about what was going on. It took you a couple of seconds to realize that it couldn’t be normal for a club to just abruptly shut down like that, and it was enough for your anxiety to instantly spike and sting your chest. Yet a pair of arms circled you lightening fast, pressing you safely to a firm chest.

Your cheeks were squished against his pectorals and you could hear a heart racing equally to yours under your ear. A question never formed itself, you knew exactly who was hugging you. It was safe now. You hugged him back and closed your eyes, using his body like an anchor to keep your anxiety from releasing you into the rowdy sea.

Namjoon could hear people getting agitated all around you two, making him squeeze you harder against him. People got nervous in situations like those. They could start running for the exit, pushing and stepping over people without a care if the panic was big enough. And as the absence of music and light continued, mere seconds felt like minutes cracking under the pressure as people became agitated.

He knew crowded places made you anxious. That was how you justified the way he was pressing his lips to the top of your head. It made your already racing heart jump with a foreign feeling, which mixed with his musky cologne had you sweating and not out of nervousness.

A louder shout not so far from you startled you into pressing your fingertips into his lower back and he immediately hugged you tighter. His lips brushed the top of your head again but the agitation around you was too loud, making it impossible to discern what he had said. Yet, regardless, you were safe. You could feel people shifting around you, voices becoming louder, and the occasional glimpse from people's phones. A wave of appreciation and gratitude flooded you, flowing over your anxiety and you unglued your cheek from his shirt to tell him.

His lips pressed lightly atop your cheekbone and your breath caught. His nose had tapped against your eyeglasses and you instinctively squinted though you couldn’t see. None of it bothered you though, on the contrary. Your lips parted in surprise, his thumb dragging across your jawline as if to make sure of where you were in the dark.

You forgot about the world around you. You were suspended in the air, in a trance, waiting for what would happen next, and it happened unexpectedly. His forehead touched yours and you closed your eyes, letting him cradle you sweetly. Little did he know that you could feel no anxiousness now, you were a blank page waiting to be written on.

Or maybe he knew. He didn’t force your chin but he did mutter something while his lips brushed your jawline, and you turned your head. Curiosity, it was all it was. Because you hadn’t heard him, but as your skins brushed, your lips caught the subtle hint of something plush and wet for the tiniest of moments.

You became dizzy and gripped his shirt at the end of his back. Was that what you thought it was? Was that—?

All it took was a millimeter for him to give you the hint that you took without hesitation. His lips pressed to the corner of your mouth and you sighed, eyes scrunching with the tension inside your chest. You were no mind and all instinct when you parted your lips further to get more, just a bit more. All you were ready to do was react, so when it felt like he was about to break away, you closed in.

You were incredibly aware of everything that involved Namjoon. The way his long fingers supported your jawline with a feather-like touch, his short hair falling just above his eyes tickling you where it got to your skin around your eyeglasses, the softest touch of his plush lips as even his breath eased, the gentlest breeze caressing your face whenever you tentatively parted and rejoined like waves kissing the shore.

You were aware of everything, and yet when the lights and music came back on, you were helpless. Namjoon straightened up to look around, trying to figure out what was going on, while you were just looking up at him, gripping him still, trying to figure things out on your own. What was that? What—

“Are you okay?” Juhyun asked right behind you and you jumped in place, startled. You let go of Namjoon, and it was he who answered.

“Yeah, we stayed cool. Are you?”

“Yeah, they pushed around a bit though, geez,” she complained, running a hand through her hair. “What do you think happened?”

“Good question, I don’t know.”

You didn’t hear anything anymore, you were just staring up at him as he talked. Good question. You had no idea either. What happened? Did you really just kiss—

“Listen, if you’re bummed out, that’s okay,” Juhyun shouted above the music, pressing your arm gently. She looked concerned and you tried a smile.

You could guess you looked as befuddled as you felt, “Yeah, I kind of— But I’m your driver!” You shouted instead, remembering your responsibility with a firm shake of your head.

“It’s okay, we’ll catch a taxi!” She shouted with a nod. She knew you were usually anxious; something unnerving like that was surely too much for you. “I’m just worried about you going alone!”

“I’ll go with her,” Namjoon nodded, unwavering, and before you got to say something, Juhyun agreed.

“Take care, text me when you’re home,” she asked you, squeezing your hand once.

You were frowning, about to suggest staying a bit more so you could take her home too when a firmer hand replaced hers. Namjoon returned your gaze, said a quick goodbye with a wave to everyone else, and then pulled you behind him as he made your way out.

Your mind slowly got back on track with every step you took. His hand was firmly wrapped around yours, and despite his wide shoulders in front of you, sheltering you from the chaos, your anxiety guided your thoughts back to the surface with a forced gasp.

What were you doing? Maybe this would turn awkward. You and Namjoon had been good friends for years, you had always counted on him. Maybe that was a mistake, maybe he would be uncomfortable around you now. You didn’t want things to change, you didn’t want to lose his joyful grins, relaxing bicycle rides, and long quiet reading sessions back at his place.

You bowed as you took your coat at the reception and put it on before stepping out into the cold. He was no longer holding your hand, which was holding the coat’s collar to your neck instead. You swallowed and looked down, freezing atop the stairs while you ran by the options and he stepped down ahead of you. You don’t have to leave earlier because of me. I can get home safely by myself. I’m sorry if that was awkward, I—

“Where’s your car?”

You sucked in a breath and told him before turning to walk intently as quickly as possible. The cold was rough on your cheeks, despite the big round lenses of your eyeglasses. You gritted your teeth not to quiver as you stepped carefully over the slippery sidewalk.

When you got to your car, you got in quickly and turned it on to give it time to warm up a bit. Namjoon had followed you inside in silence and was so quiet that his presence could have been buried under your anxiety.

You brushed your flushed cheeks and tried pulling your long hair free, realizing it was trapped between your blouse and the coat. You were so used to having braids that you forgot you needed to tend to your hair properly whenever you put your coat on and now you were stiff and stuck and—

“Easy,” he rasped, reaching to help you and you froze. You glanced up at him and stayed still as he alleviated the tension of the fabric over your shoulders to gently pull your hair out before leaning to repeat the same action on the other side. By then your eyes had lowered to his hands. The way he was handling your dark threads of hair as if it was the most precious silk, worthy of care and attention. “There.”

Your eyes jumped up in time to see him leaning back, a perfectly blank expression making your chest pang in nervousness. You were overthinking again.

“Thanks!” You squeaked, clearing your voice immediately as you leaned forward to reach the GPS screen, “Now, to Joonie’s…”

The drive was easier than you thought it would be. He commented on the cold, and then on what happened at the bar. He had never seen something like that at a bar, only at festivals or concerts. He wondered if the whole street had a power outage or if it was just that room. You mused that if it had been more than just the room, you’d surely hear about it in the news.

And just like that the car became quiet. Seoul always had traffic, even at 2:52 AM, it was nothing new. So while you comfortably focused on taking him home safely, your thoughts wandered elsewhere.

His lips were the softest thing you had ever touched in your life. Just the delicateness with which you had kissed, you didn’t think you had it in you. Weren’t kisses supposed to be messy? Powerful and passionate? Then how had you touched the pillowy clouds above?

Just remembering it had your guts burning in excitement, and you pressed your lips. Were you making any sense? But you had really done that; hiddenly in the dark, yes, but really. You had acted on your instinct for the first time and gotten a glimpse of the sky.

You wondered why now. Your friendship was old and comfortable, and he had always been a gentleman, protective but never overbearing. You thought he saw you as a colleague initially and then a friend with similar tastes. You pressed your lips right as you stopped the car in front of his apartment building. One glance at him and you knew that was the same old Namjoon you were used to. Maybe you had dreamed it. Maybe it was supposed to stay a dream.

“Would you like to come up?”

Your eyes jumped and widened, the shock as evident in your expression as a flashing billboard sign.

“I finished the new Murakami,” he continued swiftly, “so you can take it if you want. Or any other book.”

Your lips instantly twitched into a smile, “You finally finished it, then.”

He smirked as you turned off the engine and reached to get your bag, “Finally. You know how I am with his books.”

You nodded and got out of the car, the negative temperature clashing with your blushing cheeks. Yet you only smiled, locked the car, and teased him while you both went inside. Even the ride up the elevator was lighter; you two were back to your eased friendship where you got to poke fun at his annoyance with the repetitiveness of Murakami’s plotlines while enjoying every other detailed introspection he had to offer.

So when you passed the threshold of his apartment, you were as always. You both got your shoes off, though you kept your coat because you weren’t going to stay long. He offered you a drink despite you insisting that it was a quick visit, and as he disappeared into the kitchen to see what he could offer, you beelined to his reading corner.

That space always brought a smile to your face and comfort to your heart. That corner of the living room had a bookshelf from floor to ceiling separated by squared compartments that combined books and small plant pots in a myriad of colors. His most cherished one, however, was the bonsai on the small table next to the gray reading chair and ottoman. He'd let you take up the chair whenever you would read or work at his place, with him preferring the couch so he could stretch his legs more comfortably. You preferred the reading chair because the setting was a mood changer for you and you could use the different shelves to place your open books, especially when designing or writing ideas. Each square was organized in a particular way: some by authors, others by category, or type of work.

“I don’t have much,” you could hear him returning to you. “But I can make tea.”

You shook your head while you crouched, taking a look at your favorite section, “It’s okay, I won’t stay long. Where’s the Murakami?”

“Right here,” his voice sounded from above your head, and you glanced up to see him towering over you, reaching for the book lying by the ledge on the appropriate shelf. He eyed you and you smirked, pushing your eyeglasses up your nose bridge before looking back down. The corners of his lips twitched as he gripped the book inside his hands; he knew you were just happily skimming through your favorite shelf, and that wasn’t the issue. You weren’t the issue, you were— He took a deep shaky breath, “Oh, right, I have another one.”

He placed the Murakami book on the small table and left your side in the direction of his bedroom, you noticed. You pressed your lips and got up, grabbing the book he was holding just now. Blood was rushing to your cheeks and you took a short breath to ease yourself. You were there just to grab that book. You were alone at Namjoon’s, and that had happened hundreds of times before. Not that you had ever kissed before, but you could be cool. It was in the dark anyway. Conceptually, if you were thinking of the outline of a music video, that meant it was a secret. You could keep a secret. You could pretend it never happened.

Overhearing his steps pulled you from the depths of your thoughts to check what he had in his hands.

“Here,” he grinned, showing it to you.

It was a book and you gasped before you grabbed it. The cover had the digital drawing of a little girl on her bed, not lying down, but facing the wall behind her that had become an ocean with sparkling rays floating above. The title read, ‘Windows to Worlds: The Art of Devin Elle Kurtz’. You thought the name rang a bell as you opened and skimmed through it.

“I thought of you,” he smiled, dimples sinking sweetly into his cheeks at your interested demeanor.

“Woah, her use of color and lighting looks absolutely astounding,” you breathed, alternating between gasping and stopping your breath altogether with each new page.

“I’m glad you like it.”

“But why did you get it?” You finally caught up, looking up at him. “Because I was struggling with lighting?”

Your tone was appreciative and almost savvy as if you knew you had guessed his intent correctly. Yet he shook his head once, “Because of the braids.”

You lowered your eyes to the cover again and indeed, the little girl had two braids, much like you usually sported. You smiled, “Do you think she has eyeglasses too?”

“Maybe,” he acceded, nodding with ease.

You looked back down at the cover — the girl had her palms against the glass as if she was staring into a new magical world. It brought warmth to your chest. Not just because it was beautiful or because it was going to help you, but because Namjoon saw some of it in you.

You pressed the books to your chest, facing him to thank him when your smile fell. His expression had lost some of its casualness and you were immediately flooded with apprehension.

“Are we going to talk about it?”

His tone was so gentle it brought tears to your eyes. It was Namjoon. All of it, all of your doubts and anxiety were about one of the most important people in your life. Who cared how you might have felt; you absolutely could not jeopardize your friendship.

“I’m sorry,” you breathed so sincerely your voice shook.

“Oh.”

“I… It was…”

Your gaze was on the floor around his feet on the white carpet as you tried to find words. You half expected him to move or make things less awkward with his spirited humor, but he waited.

So you said what came to mind, “An accident. Right? It was an accident,” you repeated, ignoring the heat making your eyeglasses fog ever so slightly. “It was dark and…”

You sucked in a breath and pushed your eyeglasses up your nose bridge to soothe yourself, and froze when he nodded slowly.

“I… can’t call it an accident.”

Your eyes widened impossibly, “But— But then— I mean,” you blinked, “that would mean…”

You were just stammering and he smiled, “Yes. I don’t just— I wouldn’t just—” He smirked, scratching the back of his head, “I’d be lying if I said—”

His voice got caught inside his throat. You were looking up at him with eyes so big he feared they’d pop or something. He thought he was ready to talk about it and get it out in the open but— Were you even breathing?

“You know what? Never mind,” he shrugged, with a smile that pressed his plush lips too thin.

Your eyes widened even more, “No—” You almost choked from your impulse and instinctively stepped back, and everything went dark.

You held your breath as if you had been caught in a trap. You could have been back at the club, but there was no crowd, no fear, and no pressure. There was light still shining from his bedroom, reassuringly outlining his silhouette. You were safe, just like then. And it formed the words out of your mouth.

“I can't call it an accident either,” you confessed, and instantly your shoulders relaxed. He didn’t move and you couldn’t see him, but you knew him. You knew of his presence and the way he would never judge or hurt you. “I kissed you back.”

The silence continued between you but you found comfort in it. It was as though you had time to process, to put yourself back in your shoes moments earlier when exactly like that, in the dark, you let something from deep within surface.

“I was… curious,” you voiced quietly.

“Curious?”

“What would you… feel like? How would you…” you were getting lost and closed your eyes. You could almost feel him again, his warmth, his scent, the firmness of his arms around you, helping you levitate safely into the clouds. Your eyes opened at the sound of a footstep and you instantly flushed, “I mean, I— I’m sorry, I—”

“No, don't say sorry.” His outline drew closer until he stopped right in front of you. “You were curious about that?”

“Yes.”

“And?”

Why was your heart racing so fast? You were so hot that you knew for a fact your eyeglasses were fogging, despite not being able to see it. You swallowed and fanned your face a little, self-conscious about your hands becoming sweaty and dirtying the books.

Yet as you tried to calm down, you realized silence was stretching. He was waiting, of course, gentlemanly as he was. And you were embarrassed but in the dark, you also wanted to be brave.

“I liked it.”

You left it there, your sincere answer to his question. Your heart was thrumming wildly but you were not half as nervous as you thought you’d be.

“I liked it too.”

Your breath caught as you looked up despite barely seeing a silhouette. What?

“Would you do it again?”

“Now?” Your voice pitched.

“Yes.”

“Yes?” Your tone was inquisitive, but it was more out of shock that he said yes. You were heating up so much you didn’t think you were processing thoughts logically, and you weren’t. Your head was blank, “Yes.”

It felt like an eternity, but you knew that wasn’t true. You were just too eager to see what happened next, to feel him again and check if your head would be caught spinning as you floated away to the clouds again.

The books in your hands disappeared quickly, only the sound of them hitting the table told you their fate, and not that you cared. His breath was fanning your face and your head instantly fell back, tapping the wall as your lips parted and you waited for what you wanted most.

When it didn’t instantly come, you had no issues soothing his hesitation by guiding his hands to your jaw. You wanted him to know where you were; exactly there, between the wall and his safe embrace, waiting.

Finally, his breath was so close it fully stopped when your lips locked together in a feather-like touch, and you moved. You pressed yourself closer, brushing his lips so you’d match completely. Your mouth dove into a sweeter taste, fingers tracing up his neck tentatively to grasp that feeling. And he let you, falling in with you, leaning into you as far as you’d let him.

Your lips parted in an invitation that he took promptly, leaving a wet trace on your bottom lip before he committed. You sighed into his mouth, gripping his shirt to pull him closer. He could reach into you and all around you; you were falling. There was an expanse behind and all around you and it reminded you of free falling; it was probably what skydiving felt like. Only you weren’t nearing the ground but going further from it. That sky was about to catch you; a sweet, soft, endearing sky about to clasp you affectionately and carry you into a dream.

You only stopped because he pulled back, kissing the tip of your nose before pressing his lips to your cheek. It was when you noticed that you two fit together like puzzle pieces, with your fingers buried in the nape of his neck, his into your lower back, your breaths mixing as your legs intertwined.

His breath was heavy against your warm cheek, “This can stay here. In the dark. If you want.”

You were too far to recognize the concern in his voice, “Is that what you want?”

“No,” his reply was instant, a subtle shake of his head as his lips dragged over your heated skin. “No, I'm curious about way more than this.”

You opened your eyes, eager to see in him what he meant, but the darkness hid his expression. It protected you, yes, but now, it made you uneasy. There was a moment when it had soothed your fears, maybe even made you brave, but now it was enough.

“Would turning the light on bother you?”

You felt his smile before he pulled away, “Not at all.”

His hands were still supporting your waist as you felt the wall behind you until you flipped the switch. You shut your eyes instantly with a grimace and knew he had done the same.

“Sorry,” you whispered.

You couldn’t see it, but he smirked, “I told you you could.”

His eyes opened first, eager to bypass the sudden sensibility so he could look at you as soon as possible. Your eyes and nose were still scrunched, your eyeglasses had fallen lower on your nose than you liked normally, and the top of your cheeks was beautifully blushed. He didn’t resist cupping your cheek to brush his thumb over the red hue and your eyes opened, looking up at him over your eyeglasses. You were so close to each other but you couldn’t look or move away.

“You’re so beautiful,” he breathed, eyes set on yours as if he were seeing stars.

“How can you see anything, we’re so close,” you whined with a huff.

He chuckled, “Yeah?”

You pouted; your eyeglasses were falling down your nose bridge again, and he grinned. He was so unbelievably happy right now, and as you pressed the eyeglasses further up, he wished it would never end.

“Is it…” you were quiet, “better like this?”

“Much better,” he assured confidently, looking into your eyes intently.

Every time you blinked, wherever you glanced, he kept his cool and tried holding his fear in check — what if you suddenly pushed him away, became uneasy, or regretted this?

Yet your eyes fixed on his as your hand returned gently to the side of his neck, “You said… you’re curious about more?”

He couldn’t breathe, “Yes.”

“What… does that mean?”

Your voice was a thread and he swore he became dizzy, “You. I—” His lips twitched as he found words, “I want to be with you.”

He settled on that simple fact and shushed his racing heart. It was too soon to confess how long he had been thinking about this, how far he had fallen, and how deeply sure he was that there was no one else he wanted. Nowhere else he wanted to go, no other person who could be home, no other soul he wanted to share his time with. Shit, this was not the time for a love confession.

��Not in the dark,” you mused, thinking back. “But here,” you searched his eyes with a light line between your eyebrows. “Do you want that? To be… a moment of—”

“No,” he interrupted firmly, making sure that every point you touched each other conveyed that. “I want more than a moment, than one night, than a place, than— No,” he breathed. “I want so much more.”

You weren’t sure there was any reaction you could have given because you were floating again. His arms were around you, his mouth speaking words you had long wished to hear, and you waited. It felt like the right thing to do; you just waited for him to become so much more.

“And you?” He asked after waiting to hear your thoughts. “How far would you take this?”

You almost choked with your instant answer, “All the way.”

His eyebrows jumped before his expression scrunched into a rapturous smile, and you filled your chest with air. You needed it, you needed a big deep breath before the dive. When his forehead touched yours, you stayed close, eyes half-hooding, waiting, and ready. You had been ready for a while, all there was left to do now was fly.

You were waiting for his kiss when he grabbed your head, both of you eager and gentle in your grip on the other. His lips were as soft as before but now he was pressing harder, searching for something in the depths of your kiss, and you met him halfway. There was the passion you had thought of before, making your skin pucker as your breathing dragged. It was curious how you were so focused on every little detail of his — his jawline moving under your fingertips, the soft skin at the column of his neck, his wide shoulders where your arms found support to press him closer to you — but had no actual thoughts. Every brush of his lips had you sinking further, every lick of his tongue had you immersed until his hands were pulling you to him and barely letting you touch the ground.

When your feet did touch the ground you lost your balance a little and inadvertently fell into him, which had him feeling behind him to make sure he could sit down. Your lips parted and he looked up at you, hands supportive but not pressuring you. He waited for you to decide if you’d follow him or not, and you didn’t hesitate. You raised a knee to his outer thigh and he instantly supported it, helping you to straddle him effortlessly before he leaned back into the reading chair.

You towered over him a little bit and as he hugged you close, you couldn’t help remembering how many times you had sat in that same chair just to read. Now he was there with you, under you, kissing your neck gently, and you kissed his head with the excitement bubbling under your skin. This was really happening, you could barely contain yourself.

He pressed you to sit closer to him and you guided him to look up just so you could dive into his kiss again. His skin was so soft, his touch so gentle as he let you steer your mouths until your head started spinning. You went deeper with every kiss, and with every sparkle, you became daring. Your fingers laced around his hair, your breaths one and the same as your hips moved on their own accord to fuse you two in any way possible. Your instinct was taking over, regardless of how you ground against him or leaned into him as if it would merge you two together.

You were hot and breathless when you felt a hint of his fingertips brushing the skin at your lower back, and instinctively you pulled back. He looked up at you, instantly wary of mistakenly crossing a line, but in a rustle of clothes, your blouse went up and away, thrown on the floor.

You faced him then, the goosebumps forming on your skin wherever his fingertips brushed your back as you seemed to exude heat. Not even for a moment did you wonder if you were going too far, despite being in a bra only in front of him. Rather you eyed his shirt and pouted, and he got it; in a second it was gone too.

Your lips twitched as you stroked down his neck, over his clavicles, and to his wide shoulders. You knew he’d be perfect, you knew you’d go well beyond liking every inch of him, but reality was far sweeter than your imagination. Before you could lean in and kiss every inch, he beat you to it. His pillowy lips grazed over the expanse of your neck before lowering down your chest and you sank your nails on his shoulders. It was the lightness of his touch, the warmth of his breath contrasting with his tongue as he explored everything until he dared lower. He moved slowly, maybe hesitated, and your hand darting to the back of his head to support him eased him.

He kissed and nuzzled every inch of your chest then settled over your sternum, breathing you in between your breasts just above the center gore. You knew why he stopped, but you were riding the shivers and throbs his every breath drew out of you, and you didn’t want it to stop. You reached behind you and unclasped the bra, letting the straps slide off your arms while you held his gaze. Yes, you wanted to do this. Yes, you wanted him to touch you, to know how he—

His hands over your waist raised to cup your breasts and rub your nipples and you shivered, goosebumps covering you from head to toe. The more he brushed over the hardened tips, the less control you had over a deep whine wanting to escape your lips.

You were biting your lip in this sweet struggle when he glanced up at you before leaning in to take one inside his mouth, and you whined. Your hips bucked over him, drawing closer while your cries grew and expanded with every lick of his tongue. You were grinding hard on him now, unaware of how unruly you were being. Your cries just needed to be heard, your hunger satiated as you searched for friction and wondered why it wasn’t as intense as it should be.

Your chest was wet by the time he parted his mouth from the delicate skin, but you didn’t have time to think about it. His hands gripped your hips to press you closer, and you jumped out of his arms in a mix of outrage and eagerness.

So that was why you couldn’t feel him properly, you concluded, as you unbuttoned your jeans. Of course, how stupid. At least it was easily fixed.

You only stopped when your clothes hit the floor. His eyes locked with yours and you hesitated. You were totally naked in your eagerness, maybe you were going too fast. But his hands guiding yours to his shoulders before he leaned in to kiss over your tummy made you realize you were being silly. His eyes were glistening, looking up at you before closing to enjoy the taste of your skin, his cheeks were red, and despite his pants, the tent was very visible.

You wanted to be close so you raised your knee again, and once more he guided you to straddle him. He kissed quickly up your chest before eying your mouth, and you obliged. Kissing him like this was more vulnerable, open, and raw, but you wanted to. His fingertips stroked your sides softly downwards and you sighed into his mouth, gripping him closer. You wanted so much more.

His hands settled atop your hips and it made you whine and wiggle so they would move. It didn’t occur to you to separate your mouths and tell him to touch you; in fact, no thoughts were occurring to you. He seemed to hesitate on where to go while palming your hips, and in the end, it was your hand that guided him to where you wanted him. You froze amidst your kiss, mouth agape as your eyes opened when his fingers skimmed your sex. A shiver ran down your spine, your breath halting as you waited for him. His eyes were set on you, carefully taking in your expression as he dared to brush lower, exploring down your mound, around your hooded clit, and gently over your folds before retracing his steps.

A strangled quiet moan had you closing your eyes to get lost. His fingers were drawing circles over your clit, ever so gently, prodding how to please you without hurting you, and you sank your nails into the back of his neck. You could worship that man now — it was all you knew as you looked at him between half-hooded eyes. Every circle brought a spark, a throb, a buck of your hips until the tension inside you made you jump away from his touch. You kissed him hard then, grabbing his head desperately — you wanted him, not just his hand.

You reached between your bodies to cup his bulge and he choked in your kiss. You pressed harder, too curious to let him breathe or get away, and searched for a way to open his pants, but it was difficult without looking. Fortunately, he understood perfectly what you wanted and got to it.

He raised you off his lap for the single moment it took him to squirm and slide his clothes down his legs before settling you over him again. His skin was burning hot against your inner thighs and as you kissed him, you imagined it was because he wanted you the same way.

You reached again for him and this time there were no barriers. You felt his hard length gently, caressing its soft skin carefully before stroking him against your palm.

He grunted into your cheek; your lips had parted so you both could focus on those new sensations. Something wet was making it easier to stroke him and press the head gently, with every movement earning you something, whether a groan, a sigh, a twitch of his fingers over your hips, or more precum.

You loved seeing and hearing every reaction, but you didn’t want to wait. You were tense and overheating, and that hard cock in your hand belonged somewhere else.

You moved on your knees to straddle him closer, positioning yourself with nothing but the intention to feel him, but you paused. Before the sight of the pink swollen tip at your entrance could steal your logic, you looked at him with an implied question. He nodded with glistening eyes, hands gripping a bit more of your ass to convey just how much he wanted this. And so you leaned to touch your foreheads before you guided him inside you.

You were unbelievably wet but still, it took a moment for him to become coated enough to slide in without any attrition. It felt like a trial and error; every time you tried sitting lower, there was resistance, and so you raised yourself and tried again. And again and again, with his fingers sinking into your skin as he hid his scrunched-up expression. Your eyebrows were knitted too, especially when he hit a particular spot, and soon he bottomed out.

You wiggled a little to make room, your tension gripping him inside you so hard that both of you groaned. You bucked your hips over him and sighed before reaching back, taking support on his legs. The hunger in his glistening eyes as he observed you taking your pleasure from him was like straight out of a dream, except he was really there, stretching you to the edge, bubbling a tension up your spine so good you knew you wouldn’t last a minute.

So you leaned forward again, palming the expanse of his chest as you let the fluttering subside for a bit. A smile bloomed on your lips as he reached to kiss your skin, supporting you closely while he grazed up your neck. Yet as it had blossomed, your smile faded when your eyebrows knitted further and your pleasure sunk in your gut. He had taken a firmer grip of you and used his leverage to thrust his hips up and into you, successfully crumbling whatever excuse of a restraint you had.

You moaned unreservedly and as he pulled away to face you without relenting, you met him with glistening eyes. It wasn’t a betrayal but because of him, you couldn’t hold back. He understood; he told you with a nod as he tried keeping the rhythm steady for you. So you hugged him to you and let the pleasure spike once, twice, until a moan burst out of you with the knot in your lower gut releasing the tension.

However long it lasted, it was long. It left you powerless and radiating heat like a furnace, only he was even hotter than you. He was sweaty under your arms and legs as you embraced him, and it mixed with your wetness and cum, but you didn’t care.

He waited for you to pull away and kiss his humid forehead before he asked, “Can I take you to bed?”

“Yes,” you sighed, still up high in your haze.

He could tell how languid you were so he picked you up carefully, hugging your legs around his waist and supporting your lower back. His heart was racing as he carried you, not because he was afraid of dropping you — no way in hell that would ever happen — but because this was really happening. He was really carrying your naked body across his apartment, your sweaty bodies pressed together after you reached your pleasure in his arms only for him to take you to bed and continue to show you how much he cared for you. He sighted the bed when your limbs squeezed him more firmly and he smiled from ear to ear. It was like carrying a koala bear who didn’t want to let go of him, and he loved that.

He sat on the bed with you on his lap before carefully supporting your back so he could lay you down gently while hovering over you and you finally blinked.

Your senses were coming back; Namjoon was over you, caging you between his biceps while your legs laced around him. He was inside you, and even if you had forgotten, he reminded you when he moved tentatively. Your eyes were set on his, and that was how you saw the concern crossing them, and you blinked again. You and him were connected like you had only ever dreamed, and it was good. You reached to cup his cheeks and guide his mouth to yours; you wanted him to know that. That you knew what you were doing, with whom, and how, and your heart was completely in it.

If he wasn’t kissing your lips, then he was pecking the tip of your nose, grazing your cheeks, or brushing down the column of your neck as his hips gained speed. You raised yours to feel him as deep as possible, and as you held onto him, you let the emotions flood you. The safety of his arms, the completeness as he filled up all the gaps, the nurture of every tender kiss, the shared warmth, tension, and torture of your bodies rocking together. You were meshed inextricably in an ascent that you had never dared to imagine, and you grabbed him even harder, in case the intensity had you floating away.

Your voice had a life of its own; every time he sank further into you, your soul expanded. Every time he buried himself inside you, your moan released into his ear, and over and over again as he hid in your neck, revering you in all the ways he could.

“You feel so good,” he rasped against your throat, and against all odds you heard it in between moans. Maybe because he was slowing down. He pulled away to face you so closely you saw him blurred despite your eyeglasses, “I don't want it to end.”

Your eyes widened and watered but no words came out in time; he pressed your lips sweetly and you buried your fingers in his hair, feeling your heart swelling with every beat. He restarted his hips, guided by your legs pressing him into you, and you thought that nothing else mattered than him knowing. You also didn’t want it to end, you wanted to stay with him forever, linked, safe, accepted, hidden from anything that wasn’t blissful peace, and happiness.

His hips snapping into yours brought groans, moans, and whines out of the both of you, with wet sloppy sounds echoing in the bedroom along with the slaps of skins colliding. It became fast, forcing you to wrap your limbs around him firmly to never miss any sensation he could give you until you tensed unbelievably.

You surrendered to your climax immediately, letting it wash over you as you throbbed and reveled in scream-inducing spasms. He grunted and swore into your neck, but to your surprise, he didn’t come with you. On the contrary, suddenly you could feel his intent to pull out so you crossed your legs behind him and searched for his ear so you could tell him, “Inside me. Stay inside me.”

He groaned and you rocked with him, keen on extending both your pleasure as much as possible when he twitched inside you. You closed your eyes and his lips immediately caught yours. He kissed you with every peak, groaning into your mouth at every turn, making you shudder.

He stilled and you kept petting his damp hair at the back of his head, slowly waiting for both your hearts to calm down. You couldn’t believe what just happened yet at the same time it was as natural as breathing.

Finally, he moved from the crook of your neck and faced you. A single drop of sweat dripped along his nose to the tip and you caught it with your fingertip. He nuzzled you then, recovering his breath with a tender smile, and you smiled back.

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sunny-knight · 23 days ago

Text

What Kind Of Monster Was He?

A @forgettable-au fan (colored) animatic

MINOR BLOOD WARNING!

*Was he the kind to do too much, or not enough?

…OK, SO WHAT HAD HAPPENED WAS-

I had planned to finish this into a full fledged animation, but a lot of the parts I did end up finishing just didnt live up to what I imagined…I waited for more motivation to happen, but it just didnt so HERES THE COLORED ANIMATIC CAUSE IM REALLLY HAPPY WITH WHAT I HAVE and ive sat on posting this for like a 2 weeks 😭 which is an eternity in my time

Im gonna post the unfinished “finished” part on my side account @o-sunny-day though! and probably have people yell at me cause it actually isnt that bad AND IT TOTALLY ISNT I just… art. You get it. ENOUGH YAPPING! ITS TIME TO YAP!

except not yet, MORE BACKGROUND INFO HUCDHUC- but its background info on explaining the lore…

The explaining is much less expansive than in Dear My Dear just because I didnt work on it long enough to think every bit of it through. This is just a clean, nicer looking, and colored version of the very first storyboard.

I usually think about and put more effort into the little stuff while making the FINISHED bits since ive had so much more time to think about that in all the preppin n sketching.

BUT I liked the explaining format I did for Dear My Dear so im sticking with it!

The main idea for this was to do a study of Wingdings’ character from what we’ve been given, mainly focusing in on the expectations he puts on himself because holy shit the lyrics for this works so stupidly well it makes me mad LOOK AT THIS???

its ridiculous. i love it. I didnt know Jack Stauber helped write Forgettable AU???? woww!!! ANYWHO thats the gist of it, not much context is needed past that. Onto the sillies!!!! (per usual excuse the shitty quality of the pngs idk why Tumblr does that-)

Did you know love? Will you rest in peace?

Wingdings and Sans holding hands as kids, before turning to a casket like appearance for adult WD. The flowers hes holding are pretty important too, Marigolds to represent grief, Lilys, new life, and Forget Me Nots for this lovely little line I found when looking up good flowers to use-

“a promise to always remember” ….stop that.

That actually also has a double meaning in this case too. 1, ofc the forgetting of Wingdings. But ALSO Wingdings forgetting something himself. Forgetting who he is. Almost like a Zuko ATLA situation.

Did you have a family?

Who knows where theyre parents are, but this is HAPPY TIME and we’re gonna assume they were so awesome and very kind but had to leave or went to a farm in the sky for whatever reason.

The colors here I had a lot of fun with. Their parents had warm colors but the boys have cold, still with warm accents. Its said they more or less raised each other being very independent as shown in the second part with them running out the door by themselves.

How was the view from the shelf? Did you ever believe in yourself?

Before, we started with the beginnings. The good things, the only thing Wingdings cares to even recall. Now we’re seeing his life really start to turn upside down- making first contact with The Player :D

He’s hesitant to reach out, but is intrigued, before getting a rushing revelation of his reality and how it isnt “real”

Rather than feeling crushing existential dread, he more feels pressured to be BETTER, to figure a solution, to do something. Thats what white represents here

WHAT KIND OF MILK WERE YOU?

We then switch to more examples of how Wingdings is taking this pressure (not well) The soft tones of yellow that were shown before, turn to way brighter, intensifying that feeling that he should be fine, he should be happy, drowning in success of being the Royal Scientist.

But he just desperately wants to just go back to a time of nice coldness.

The warm vs cold tones in this I had so much fun with, coldness is supposed to represent hostility usually, while warm is nice and happy. (same with Black and white. Scary, relieving,) But these points often contradict each other, its hard to tell what you’re feeling vs what you’re supposed to be feeling. Just like Wingdings!

WHAT KIND OF LIFE DID YOU LIVE THROUGH?

The white lab coats, the expectations, theyre on all of them. But Wingdings has essentially become his expectations.

He questions what life he wants to live, one being himself and alone (speaking in wingdings) or not himself and with company (speaking in a “normal” font) Still, he frames it in past tense as he believes theres no going back now, based on what he knows.

“One of the last happy moments they had together” stop that. (i cant find a link to when that was said but I know it was once, about them taking a photo together….)

DID YOUR LIFE RUN RICH WITH CALCIUM?

Calcium….bonesss :3 Hehehehdhehfhehehheheheh still dont know why he has holes in his hands so we’re movin on

DID THEY LAUGH AT YOU OR DID YOU LAUGH AT THEM?

Compared to the childhood Wingdings remembered, heres the sadder, bleaker, more realistic version. He always thought they were laughing at him but… maybe they werent.

DAIRY BELOVED. YOUR DAYS ARE GONE,

It doesnt matter now though. Because in the NOW, Wingdings has become consumed by his expectations of himself, seeing this has the “only option” to do the only thing that he feels will give his life meaning and purpose, establishing connection with THE PLAYER

But the grocery list goes on…

And yet life continues on without him, and his room is transformed into a more livable space now that someone is…living in it. Always hurts so much making the differences between Wingdings and Papyrus’ room. It feels like making something out of the man Wingdings COULD HAVE been. Because honestly thats just what Papyrus is,

Thank you to my bestie @fruitytrip for helping me with all of my art in general but especially the storyboarding on this :3 <3

#Milk by Jack Stauber #undertale animatic #Wingdings why #Hes a sad sad little man #ohhh who you could have been #if you didnt have a self destructive arc #sometimes i think about him being religiously obsessed with The Player #and then he comes to find out the player (me in this case) is religiously obsessed with him #like oh damn this is awkward #uhhh #wanna get coffee?#I love using cold colors for comfort and warm for terror #I was very spesifically proud of the shot with the white turning into a spotlight #then him turning into just a silly kid looking at a softer glow #o and happy new year gang :D #late #but #happy new year gang :D

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seeingivy · 1 year ago

Text

all too well

actor!eren x f!reader

**part of my method acting series

an: ladies and gentleman, we are so back. the french is google translated, to the french speakers, I apologize (@cutiejg I am looking at you)

content: BIG OUCHIES

songs mentioned: little freak by harry styles, not mentioned explicitly but all too well by taylor swift (the name of the chapter)!

previous part linked here

You knock hard on the door, knuckles pounding wearily on the wood, as you push into the room to find Hange and Levi, hunched over their desk. They’re pouring over the storyboards with the script up at their side, talking in hushed tones.

Levi, as always, looks up first and sets his pencil down as he beckons for you to come in. You awkwardly amble up to their desk, as Hange pulls up a chair in between the two of them, and you settle into the space. You can smell both of their distinctive smells in the air - Levi’s freshly brewed tea and the smell of Hange’s inky ballpoint pens.

“Hey kid. What can we do you for?” Hange asks, resting a hand in your hair to ruffle your locks. It’s well past three in the morning, the frigid December air raising the goosebumps on your arm with Eren’s hoodie doing little to help your chills.

You’re not sure why, but that soft, soothing tone that Hange always sports when they talk to you has the tears violently rushing to your eyes, the warm wetness spreading across your cheeks. Both of their demeanours suddenly change - Levi’s suddenly increasingly attentive, a hand on your shoulder, while Hange coos into your ears - that aching pain in your chest pulsating.

“Oh, honey, what’s wrong?” Hange asks, eyebrows knit in concern.

You try to subside your hiccuped breaths, wiping the wetness on your cheek onto the back of your hand, as you open your swollen eyes, your line of vision obscured.

“I-It’s kind of complic-cated.” you respond, frowning at the two of them.

“Did Eren do something?” Levi asks, voice stern.

Hange smacks his shoulder, rolling their eyes, as you can’t help but laugh. At Levi, for suggesting it. And at Hange, for defending Eren.

“No. No, he’s great.”

Levi narrows his eyes, giving you his most soul piercing stare.

“Are you sure?”

You laugh, not missing the way Levi’s lips slowly turn upwards, the makings of a smile on his face as his shoulders relax.

“Yes, Levi. I’m sure. It’s Eren.”

“Well. What’s got you so worked up then, kid?” he asks again, squeezing your shoulder.

You look down at your hands, knitting your fingers together, as you fumble through the words. Through that bubbling pit of emotion, sitting in your throat, that’s been bothering you for the past few days. That you’re going to be leaving the set for three years and they won’t be at your side, lifting you up for what you’re going to do next.

That without them, you’re going to fail. Horrendously.

“I’m really scared to do this all without you guys. And I really, really don’t want to fail you both, but I think that I’m going to because I don’t know how to do this alone.” you mumble.

“Huh?” Hange asks.

“I just mean. You and Levi have gotten me this far. Holding my hand at every turn, coaxing me into things when anyone else would have pushed me. Or kicked me out for not having the guts. You put me with Eren when you know he’d support me. And it-I feel like I’m going to flop out the second I leave.”

You watch Levi pinch his lips into a straight line, his gray eyes glaring into yours.

“I couldn’t have done it without you guys. And I am so thankful for it, I-I want to make you guys so proud. But I just…I feel like I’m going to fail the second I try something on my own. That there’s this big, looming anticipation around me and it’ll amount to nothing.”

You swallow hard, darting your eyes between the two of them, not missing the shared look they give each other, before Levi breaks the silence.

“You’re really stupid kid, you know that?”

You frown, glaring at him.

“Leave it to you to invalidate my feelings.” you grumble, crossing your arms on your chest, making it a point to avoid even looking at him.

“I’m not invalidating your feelings, just invalidating the fact that you quite literally give yourself no credit. That you have zero faith in yourself.”

“Great. Thanks, Levi.” you deadpan.

“He means…anything you’ve done is of your own merit. Don’t put everything you’ve done on us.” Hange states.

You swallow hard, shaking your head.

“I-I didn’t mean it like that. I just mean, your support helps me, pushes me forward. I can’t imagine being able to do anything without it.” you murmur.

“You know we aren’t going anywhere, right?” Levi states.

“I know that. But it won’t be the same.”

“First and foremost, you don’t need anyone to do great things. You’re plenty great on your own. And second, it may not be us who's the closest to you, but there will be plenty of people in your arsenal, backing you up. Unfortunately for you, I don’t think Eren could leave you alone even if he tried.”

You laugh through the snot, lightly shoving Levi and Hange’s laughs vertebrate in your ears.

“Okay. Just, if I flop out, you can’t be mad at me, okay?”

“We’d never be mad at you kid. You mean the world to us.” Hange states, wrapping their arms around you as Levi follows suit.

And when you look over your shoulder, you see the framed picture on Levi’s side of the desk and know, in earnest, that it’s true. That in some way, Levi and Hange will always be at your side, always your fiercest defenders.

And that at his core, Levi Ackerman is a sap. For having a framed picture of you and Hange, front and center on his desk. There’s a rapid knocking on the door, followed by a very sleepy Eren standing on the door.

“There you are. I was looking everywhere for you.”

You wipe the last of the wetness off your face as he shuffles up, locking his hands around your neck and resting his chin right on top of your head. He leans down and presses a light kiss at the top of your hairline, as he starts groaning.

“S’cold. What are you doing down here? And with my jacket, mind you.” he murmurs, mid-yawn.

You sniffle, which has Eren securing his hands around your cheeks and angling your face up so he can look at you. And at the sight of your blotchy skin and red eyes, his eyes immediately wash over with concern, his thumbs rubbing into your skin.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

You give him a halfhearted smile, which he returns.

“Nothing, I just wanted to talk to Levi and Hange.” you respond, standing up as Eren tucks you into the side of his arm.

“Let’s talk about it tomorrow and go back to bed now. It’s really late. You should sleep.” he murmurs, as you give him an affirmative nod.

“To bed. In your own beds, mind you.” Levi states, giving the two of you a weary eye.

Eren’s eyes go wide, a sheepish laugh falling out of both of your mouths as Levi rolls his eyes.

“Oh, totally. Totally in my own bed. Because obviously, there is no one in my bed. Except for me! Well, not right now but you know what I mean.” you mumble, getting a laugh from Hange.

You and Eren sneak out of the room, hand in hand, as you giggle while sneaking up the steps. He squeezes your hand three times as he pushes you into his room, tangling under the sheets with you and burrowing you straight into his arms.

“You’re really okay?” he murmurs against your hair.

“I’d tell you if I wasn’t.” you whisper, as Eren presses his lips against your forehead in response.

“Okay, ma lune. Go to bed.”

“Eh? Who taught you that?” you ask.

“What? Was it wrong?”

“No, no, it’s right. You’re trying to say my moon in French, right?” you ask, cheeks burning.

“Yeah. I asked Falco. Since you call me mon chérie, it’s only fitting that my nickname for you is French too.”

“Mielleux.” you respond, tracing the side of his cheeks, right near his dimples as you laugh.

“Huh? Don’t insult me in French, that’s cheating.”

“That was an insult. I was calling you…intelligent.”

“Right. And Connie’s six foot four.” he responds, sarcastically.

“I just called you cheesy. Quit whining and go to bed now.”

His laugh, vertebrating in his chest, is the last thing you feel before your eyes flutter closed.

You swallow hard, shaking the memory from your head before knocking on the door firmly, as that pulsating wave of anxiety bubbles in your chest. Because whoever answers that door, is going to bring an all consuming, complicated wave of emotions that you’ll have to resolve in all but twenty seconds before you have to talk to them.

The door swings open, with Hange and Levi standing in the center of the doorframe, leaving you with a mess of anger, sadness, and dejection.

“Hey kid.” Hange states, spreading their arms open as you melt into their arms. That faint smell of ink is lingering on their clothes, the dark marks smudged along the side of their hand indicating that they must have been stuck in that room with Levi, workshopping the script.

“Hi Hange.” you respond, swallowing hard, as you turn to look at Levi.

“Y/N.” he states, voice devoid of any emotion. But you can tell from that unshakable burning in his eyes, that something is rumbling in Levi’s chest, similar to your own.

“Levi.”

The three of you quietly walk to the kitchen, that awkward tension hanging thick in the air as Hange and Levi start rummaging through the cabinets and you lean against the counter. You take a second to stare at the polaroids, a mix of familiar faces and ones you’ve never seen at all pressed to the fridge. But the one that catches your eye the most is of Falco, smiling brightly at a girl, with short, brown hair.

Hange walks up to your side, holding the bowl of food up in front of you, as you shoot them a thankful smile.

“Whose that?” you ask, pointing to the picture.

“Oh, that’s Gabi. She’s one of the new cast members.”

“I’m taking it she’s good friends with Falco.” you state, smiling at Hange.

“Oh, the best.” Hange states, giving you a knowing smile.

You settle into the chairs across from the two of them, your brain buzzing from being here, in this kitchen with them again. At being in this house again, so vastly changed from the last time you were here.

The last time you stood in this kitchen, you and Eren were giving each other teary goodbyes, everyone holding each other for too long. And now you’re here, sitting alone in the kitchen with Hange and Levi, with everyone nowhere to be found. Least of all Eren.

Levi’s characteristically silent, focused on steeping his tea bag in the water and avoiding any sense of eye contact or communication with you. Which you were expecting, since Levi was always one to hold a grudge.

“How are you, Levi?”

“Okay.”

The response to others would be seemingly nothing but it stings violently in your chest. Because it isn’t uncharacteristic for Levi to be withholding information, especially personal in nature, but it is uncharacteristic for Levi to be that way with you. And perhaps you were increasingly harsh the last time that you talked to him, but surely you’ve both moved past that. Because it was months ago and at this point, there is nothing you can do about it.

“Are you still mad at me, Levi?” you ask.

“Are you still mad at me?” he utters back, the tone biting.

You sigh. Straight into the thick of it. Levi was always straightforward like that.

“I mean, I still stand by what I said but that doesn’t mean I’m ma-”

“Great. So when everything goes to shit, you’re going to hold it over my head and blame me for it, right?”

You swallow hard, taken aback completely by how aggressive he comes off, straight off the bat. Levi had always been this way and you’d seen it firsthand, from how strict he was on Eren when it came to acting when you were younger. And every time you told Eren to be stronger, look past it, because Levi was doing it out of a place of love.

But from the way he’s angrily scorning you right now, over a decision he betrayed you by making, one thing is evidently clear to you. That Levi’s not acting out of love.

You swallow hard, pushing that disgusting acidic feeling in your throat, as you give Hange a look before talking.

“Okay, Levi. I never said that-”

“The second Falco’s feelings get hurt, by god knows what, you’re going to come to me and say that it was my fault. My fault because I was the one who casted him in the show.”

“Well, that would be true. I explicitly asked you to remove them from the show after I found out you gave him the part. So if something happens to them, it is going to be your fault. Because you didn’t listen. You’re the reason they’re here.” you murmur.

Levi groans, reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose as Hange moves to his side, a firm hand and a pleading voice urging him to calm down.

“Is that what you’re trying to say? Are you trying to blame me for everything that happened?” Levi asks.

“I didn’t even say that. I just meant-”

“Isn’t that what you said though? You said by casting Falco, any hurt feelings he has from any backlash he could hypothetically get is going to be my fault. It’s going to be my fault because I cast him. And it’s fairly obvious you’re having some pent up feelings, because-”

You swallow hard, the tears burning your eyes and your chest aching.

“This isn’t about me. You know how hard I’ve fought to protect both of them from all of this. And you’re just going to forsake all of that, everything I’ve tried to shield them from, because you want them here for god knows whatever reason?”

“They’re here because they want to be here. They saw the casting call and auditioned together. As the person who is making this show, I had to pick the people who were best for the part. That was the same thing I did for you. And everyone else.”

“Oh, shut up, Levi. I know that you weren’t the final say in who picked me, it was Eren.”

“I was the one who put you in the top three. I knew you could be great at this. The same way I know that Falco and Colt can be great at it too.”

“I don’t give a fuck if they can be great at it, I’m sure they’re phenomenal. But they can’t handle the rest of it. And I’ve tried so hard, I already dragged them into all of this by literally being related to them, but the fact that you’re holding their hand and walking them right into this lion's cage, knowing damn well what’s waiting for them, is what’s making me mad.”

You see Levi’s eyes twinge for a second, before he scoffs and stirs his spoon in his tea. And the sound of the metal hitting the porcelain is enough to aggravate you even more.

“Nothing that happened to them is your fault. And trust me, they know exactly what they’re getting into when they come here.” Levi responds, sighing.

“Right. Because throwing that brick through my window totally would have happened regardless of the fact that I’m famous. That was my fault, plain and clear. And they can think they know what they’re getting into, but I can promise you for a fact. Falco isn’t strong enough to do this.”

You hear something drop behind you, only to find Falco and Colt standing there. Falco’s bright eyes are filled with tears, swiftly falling down his cheeks, as he runs off and Colt calls for him.

“I-I’m going to talk to him.” Colt responds, sighing heavily, as he shuffles away.

You turn back to Levi, glaring at him.

“Are you trying to punish me, Levi? Is that what this is?”

“What?”

“You’re trying to make me feel shitty. For not talking to you for so long, for-for pulling away. You’re trying to make me fucking regret it.”

Levi glares, walking up close to you, as he flares his nostrils.

“Are you trying to punish me?”

“Levi-”

“Surely, you must be. You really think that I would do anything, for even one second, to hurt you? That I find joy in hurting you even more when letting everything happen is one of my biggest regrets?

You swallow hard, taken aback by Levi’s admission. You reach forward, to place your hand on his shoulder, but he flinches away from your touch entirely, the frown on his face fixed.

“You clearly know nothing about me, Y/N. Nothing.” Levi states, angrily storming out of the room.

Your tears are burning, wet and hot and neverending as you bring the heels of your hands up to your eyes. You’d entirely forgotten Hange was there, until their hand comes up around your shoulder and squeezes hard.

And it makes you cry. That Hange’s here to comfort you. That the one person who you’ve looked u pto you, maybe the only reason you’re even standing here, is the one who sees you at your worst. And holds you anyways.

The realization hits you in full flesh. And it’s cruel.

That filming this season is going to be entirely different than any of the last.

The feeling isn’t like any other.

That deep seated pit of rage, of jealousy, of hurt that Eren can only associate with Zeke. And while he’s able to push it down, swallow it down when he’s ready for it, the one place he can’t do it is here. Because watching Connie prank Zeke in between takes, seeing him get along with Levi and Hange, there’s some part of it that taints the entire premise of things together.

Eren pushes down the piano keys, his fingers nearly shaking from the anger, until he feels it. Warm hands looping around his side, accompanied by that flowery smell and your head falling onto his shoulder. Your right hand is on the keys, brushing past both of his as he sighs.

“Hi Eren.”

“Hey.”

Eren can feel your prying eyes, big and wide watching him. And Eren knows that you can see it all over his face - the anger sitting in his jaw, his flushed cheeks - and it embarasses him even more. That you’re here with him, when all he can do is feel rotten.

“Are you writing a song?”

“Mhm.”

“Tell me your writing process. I’ve never written a song before.”

Eren turns to you, giving you a pointed look, because he knows all too well what you’re doing. His own parents have used this tactic on him a hundred times, when he’s panting and heaving from crying so hard. He figures that they think the distraction is helpful, that it’ll subside the wave of emotions in his chest. But sometimes it feels to big, too vast - like an ocean wave he has no capabilities of taming.

“I know that can be kind of a personal thing to ask. I don’t mean to pry, I just wanted to know.” you murmur.

Eren looks over, only to find your eyes cast downward towards the piano and the slightest flush of pink creeping up your neck.

You’re embarrassed. Embarrassed for asking him something personal, for crossing a line you feel you shouldn’t have.

Eren immediately takes his book off of the stand - filled with his ramblings, lyrics, and everything in between - and places it right in your eager hands. And Eren can’t help but feel a warm, simmering in his chest when your downtrodden look is replaced with a bright smile and your hand squeezing his.

Three times.

There’s something entirely bare about doing this with you, like he’s giving you the key and letting you walk right inside of his mind. But he does it regardless, watches your eyes scan over the pages, your fingers running over the marks he’s indented into the paper.

“What song were you just playing?” you murmur, flipping through the little leaflets. You eye the little pictures taped into the pages - one of you next to the words Sweet Creature - that you tuck away to pry about later.

“Ah. This one.”

Eren braces his hands against the piano, the light piano tune filling the air.

I was thinkin' about who you are Your delicate point of view, I Was thinkin' about you I'm not worried about where you are Or who you will go home to, I'm Just thinkin' about you

Eren stops himself short, that block in his throat itching, only to turn to his side and find you smiling at him, his little book of thoughts tucked into your arms, right against your beating heart.

“Eren. You’re a really good singer.” you murmur.

He can feel his own skin flushing, as he brings his hand up to his neck and nervously scratches.

“Thank you, Y/N.”

“Do you mind me asking what the song is about?”

“I know you know, Y/N.” he responds, leaning his face closer to yours.

He feels you set the book down, returning it back to the stand, and watches you lace your arm through his. You’re holding him close to you as you nestle your cheek into his skin, running your hands over each of his knuckles.

When Eren looks over, he can’t help but smile to himself. There’s something about it, this tiny frown that you sport, that Eren sincerely adores. Eren can’t help but want to touch your skin then and there, to smooth those little creases away with his fingers until you smile again.

And naturally, it’s very irritating for Eren that you still look pretty when you frown. And when you smile. And every other expression in between.

“I know. But you should still tell me anyway.” you murmur.

“I’m okay, Y/N.”

“Eren.” you whine.

“I know you know. And it’s okay…it’s complicated.” he sighs.

Eren doesn’t know how to explain the vastness of it to you. That Eren can simultaneously be mad at his brother but want nothing more to be around him. That he can hate him for what he did, for pulling away, when Eren had no intentions of leaving him alone. That he never wants to see him again, that his presence is aggravating in itself.

“You…you promise it’s okay? That you don’t want to talk about it because-”

Eren leans forward, his eyes burning as he looks into yours, your lips a few feet away from one another.

“You’ve got me, right?”

“Huh?”

“You’ve got me, if I need you?”

“Of course, I do.” you respond, not even a beat in between your words.

“Good. Then, I’m okay.”

Eren gives you a warm smile, one that leaves you in a fit of your own confusion, as he braces his hands against the piano again, playing the light tune into the air. And when you walk away, giving him one last squeeze on the shoulder, before leaving him alone on set once again, Eren scribbles his last thought into the book before walking away.

That he thinks he loves you.

Eren’s shaken out of his own memory, leaving it in his graveyard of other haunting memories, as he hears the pitter pattering of footsteps behind him. He looks up to find Gabi and Falco, sitting together on the floor, knees to his chest.

Eren can immediately clock that Falco has been crying. And Eren realizes immediately that Gabi ran to his defense. It almost feels like the two of them are mocking him, though watching them interact even in the slightest had Eren feeling that ..

Gabi, the horrifying menace that he is, is possibly one of Eren’s favorite people ever. Not only is she determined, bold, and stubbornly loyal, but she is quite possibly the only person who could be considered a bigger fan of you than Eren was.

Which was saying something.

“Falco. It’s okay. You-you didn’t hear the entire conversation.” Gabi coaxes, a soft frown on her face.

Eren’s well aware that he sees himself and you a little bit too much in Gabi and Falco, but the fact that Gabi quite literally sports the same frown that you do is enough to give him a chill. And annoy him even more. Even if he tries to forget, Eren has no choice but to remember.

He supposes some part of it is romantic, almost. That no matter how far you are, Eren can see you everywhere. That opening the fridge reminds him of the time the two of you danced in the kitchen, that driving reminds him of all the times he had to commandeer that shitty bike with you, that the moon rises into the sky and that it makes the tattoo on his skin burn.

“I heard enough. She doesn’t even believe in me. Not even in the slightest.”

“Falco. You’re amazing. And she knows that. Maybe you should talk to her about-”

“I get that she’s hurt from everything that happened. But does that give her any right to be mean to me? To think I can’t do this because-”

Eren walks up, sitting criss crossed on the floor across from the two of them. Falco gives him a halfhearted smile, infinitely better than any interaction he’s had with Colt in the entire three weeks they’ve been here, as Eren hikes his knees to his chest.

“Hey Falco, Gabi.”

“Hi Eren.” he sniffles, Gabi’s hand still firm on his shoulder.

“Want to tell me what’s going on?”

“Not really.” he grumbles.

“Shame. You know, I can be quite wise sometimes.”

“Yeah. He’s got hobo wisdom.” Gabi adds, eliciting a laugh from Falco.

Eren reaches forward to flick Gabi on the forehead, which she immediately swats off. A rather affectionate term Gabi had coined, for the rather unfortunate makeover that Levi had given him for the Marley arc.

Eren’s half convinced Levi made everyone look better and him worse as his final act of vengeance on your behalf. Because even Eren’s not stupid and is well aware that Levi will be enacting some mildly annoying revenge on him for the rest of his life, for hurting you for even a second. Which he can take. Because he deserves it.

“I had a fight with Y/N.”

Eren swallows hard, throat dry at the fact that the person they were talking about was you. Meaning, you were back, only a few feet away from where he was sitting right now.

“Falco’s misinterpreting it, I think.”

“Leave it to you to side with my sister, Gabi.”

“Hey. I’m just trying to play devil's advocate. You need that sometimes.”

Sometimes being the devil's advocate is being on your side.

Eren shakes your voice from his head, as he focuses back on the two of them.

“Y/N doesn’t want me to be here. She had a fight with Levi when she found out he picked me and Colt after we auditioned. She thinks it's the ultimate punishment that I’m here, that she has to share this with me.”

Eren swallows hard. And immediately back tracks on your behalf, because if Eren knows one thing about you, it’s that fighting with Falco must be tearing you up in more ways than one. That being here alone is hard enough for you, but your one source of comfort being ripped couldn't be helpful either.

Eren’s also positive that Levi is smoldering somewhere. That his great plan is backfiring. Because Levi did cast Falco and Colt because they were the best audition, but he also cast them because he knew having them here would make it infinitely easier for you.

Or so he thought.

“Your sister doesn’t want you to be here. But it’s not for some selfish reason or because she doesn’t believe in you. Trust me, your sister is your biggest supporter.” Eren states

“Yeah, Falco. You know that she loves you.” Gabi adds, giving him a weak smile as she laces their hands together.

Eren wonders if Gabi squeezes Falco’s hand. If she squeezes three times, because saying I love you, the thought of sharing that is so suffocating that she has to do it that way.

“The only reason she doesn’t want you here is because she doesn’t want you to suffer. She-she loves you how you are. Excited, energetic, you-you’re very lively, Falco. Some people see that and they…they want to stamp that out of you.” Eren says, voice burning in his chest as he talks.

“Your sister just wants you to stay you. And you, quite possibly, are the only thing she can’t afford to lose. You mean too much to her.” he adds.

“That’s not true. She felt that way about you too.” Falco adds.

Falco’s eyes immediately go wide, cheeks pink, as he reaches forward and places a hand on his knee.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean that in an insulting way, I meant that as-”

Eren smiles. At times, Eren feels almost like the entire time he had spent with you wasn’t real. It’s so far off in his mind, the situation so convoluted and messy now that at times it feels like it’s all a figment of his imagination. But the small reminders - a fan account, Falco’s admissions - they’re enough to remind Eren.

That he’s not crazy. That you loved him and he loved you.

It’s a double edged sword. He’s not sure if it’s worse to know he loved you and lost you or to have it feel like your love was never real at all.

He supposes he’ll have his answer when he inevitably sees you, in the flesh again. Not stricken by grief, somewhat in full feeling again.

“I know what you meant, Falco. Do you know what I meant?”

Falco sighs.

“I…I want to. But she literally said, Falco isn’t strong enough for this. She thinks I’m weak.”

“Or…she’s been through it herself. And she knows that people will push you, past your breaking points and expect you to keep going. It’s not about whether or not you’re talented, it’s…it’s almost that you’re too talented. She knows people will love you. That they’ll watch you and see you as something like that.”

The pit of it is burning in his stomach. The information that he’s sitting on, that he could share with Falco right now. But he knows that it’s not the right time. That it would require him to throw Lana under the bus, that he isn’t even ready to say everything all together, that he’ll tell you, and Falco and Armin when the time is right.

“But she knows that this is something that’s hard to stomach. And it’s less that she thinks you’re not strong enough to handle it, it’s that she doesn’t want you to have be.” Eren states.

“Good shit, Eren.” Gabi states, giving him a wide smile. Falco laughs at her brashness, the smallest makings of a smile on Falco’s face.

Falco’s ruminating over his words this time, some semblance of them sticking, as he gives him a sigh and a halfhearted smile before standing up.

“How about we go eat something, Falco? You can think about everything Eren said. Everything I said and we….we can just take a walk after.”

If you and Eren’s thing was biking and getting slushies, then Falco and Gabi’s was walking and talking.

“Okay.”

Eren watches the two of them walk off into the distance, the way their hands brush against each other as they amble towards the door, how they never link together, and swallows hard.

At the fact that not only would his memories be constant reminders, but that Falco and Gabi are going to be a constant representation.

Of what he had. And what he had to give up.

You march down the hall, feet dragging you to your childhood bedroom, as the waves of the argument have subside in your chest. You can feel the skin around your eyes stinging, your cheeks swollen and pink, as you turn to the signs with Connie’s handwriting and groan.

Jean and Mikasa (please fuck quietly)

Eren and Y/N (y’all are fucked up for this)

You must have been too loud, because suddenly both doors are swinging open, Jean coming out of one and Connie out of the other.

“Princess! You’re back!”

You pull back, resting your hands on both of his biceps as you squeeze. At Connie, less grief-stricken and pale, but more lively and loving.

The way he used to be.

“Hi Connie.” you respond, giving him a smile back.

“I’d know that moaning groaning sound anywhere.” Connie states.

“That sounds inappropriate, Connie.” Jean grumbles, giving you a smile.

The two of them stand in front of you, towering over you, as they give you smiles. Which is when you realize that they both look drastically different.

Connie’s hair is significantly balder. And Jean has a fucking mullet.

“Oh my god. You have a mul-”

“Before you say ANYTHING, he is very gorgeous to me.” Connie states, giving you an accusatory finger.

“Con-”

“I don’t care WHAT you say. He’s in the top three of my tentative glow-up ranking for this season.”

“Nothing you just said was English. Like not even one sentence of it.” you state.

“Have you read the script yet?” Jean asks, giving you a helpful smile.

“No, they haven’t given me mine yet.” ‘

“Well, we’re doing a big time skip. And to sell the image - even though we’re literally not teenagers anymore - they’re all giving us different haircuts.”

“I hope for Armin’s sake that he’s at the top of that list.” you murmur.

You hear a set of footsteps behind you, only to find Mikasa and Sasha with bags hanging from both of their arms, the pair of them panting and heaving. Jean’s quick to take Mikasa’s bags, which has Sasha berating Connie for not running to do the same.

“Princess! Welcome back.” Sasha states, pressing a wet kiss to your cheeks as Connie - making his annoyance very clear - takes the bags from Sasha and sets them down in Mikasa’s room.

“Thanks, Sash. I love your hair.” you state, giving her the warmest smile you can muster.

“God. I am fucking starving. First of all, these stupid fucking dress shops give out the measliest little chocolates. Like, we’re there for six hours, the least they could do was give me the whole box. And every time I asked for seconds, Mikasa’s stupid maid of honor started giving me a whole lecture about it.” Sasha grumbles.

You swallow hard.

Mikasa’s maid of honor.

You turn to your left, to find Jean with a rather awkward look on his face, as Mikasa’s eyes go wide. You try to shake off the discomfort, the annoying tears that are trying to pool in your eyes, as you turn to Sasha.

At the fact that Mikasa found a replacement for you.

You’re in the kitchen when Mikasa approaches you, the light glow on your cheeks making you smile so hard that it hurts.

That Mikasa is engaged. The ring is glimmering on her finger, as you beckon for her to walk closer to you and you take her hand in yours.

“I didn’t get a second to properly admire it with all those idiots around.” you murmur, her soft hands in yours.

The ring is simple. A circular cut diamond with a gold band. And entirely Jean and Mikasa. You recall Jean harassing you at nearly turn leading up to the day, but seeing it here and now, on her hand instead of that stupid plastic mannequin, you can really see Jean’s vision.

That it’s perfect for her.

“It’s beautiful, Mikasa.”

“I know you helped him. God knows he was probably having a panic attack at the store.”

“Oh, he totally was. But he picked that one out on his own and fully stopped entertaining other ones when his eye caught that one. He said he knew it was the perfect one for you.”

“Jean can be really cheesy.” Mikasa states, her cheeks dusted pink as she pushes down the pleats of her dress.

“I think it’s really sweet. You’re made for each other.”

She smiles hard, her eyes watery again.

“You really think so?”

“Are you really asking me that after you already said yes, Mikasa?”

“I mean, I’m sure of my decision. But your opinion, what you think means a lot to me. Especially if you’re going to be my maid of honor.”

You drop the knife in your hand against your plate, eyes wide as you look at her. At the way the light is catching in her hair, at the smug smiley look on her face.

“No fucking way.”

“You can’t be serious. It was always going to be you…you’re like my person!” she states, wrapping her arms around you. You squeeze her tight in her arms, earning a groaning sound from her, as you feel the excitement course through you.

“Mika. I would love to be your maid of honor.”

“Well, good. Because there’s no one else who could do it. The only person I want being up there with me is you.”

You realize now that the premise is world’s away. Which was a given. Mikasa had gone all the way and had an entire engagement party, meaning she needed someone to fill the role. And it wasn’t like she could exactly tell you, you barely even gave her the time of day when things were going down.

“I’m hungry too. I’ll come down with you in a second, yeah?”

She gives you an affirmative nod, as she skips down the hall and down the steps. You turn to Connie and eye your bags still in the hall.

“Do you know who Colt is sharing a room with Connie?”

“Galliard.”

“Who?”

“Ah, the Brit. He’s real funny, I think you’ll like him.”

“Ah, okay. Well, I think I’ll ask him if he can share with Eren instead. And I-”

“Y/N. You can still share with Mikasa.” Jean states, eyes wide.

You swallow hard, the embarrassment coursing through you.

“No, I-I insist. You guys should share. You-you are getting married and all! Wouldn’t want to rain on your parade and all that. And Colt’s my brother, I’ll be comfortable with him, so-”

“I’ll help you move your bags.” Connie states, dragging your bags down the hall.

You’re eternally grateful for Connie and him catching on fast enough. Jean follows in tow, giving Mikasa a look over his shoulder, as the two of you stand awkwardly in the hall. You turn to look at her.

“You didn’t get a haircut?” you ask.

“Ah. Um, Levi and Hange are actually letting me use a wig.”

“That’s right. Jean always imagined you with your hair long at your wedding.”

Mikasa smiles, so wide, that you swear there’s tears gathering in her eyes.

“I didn’t realize he had told you that.” she murmurs.

“Jean can’t help but talk about you. He mentioned it to me in passing once.”

You both awkwardly swallow, as you rub your hands on your biceps. There’s a tension in the air between the two of you, one that you weren’t really expecting, that settles deep into your bones.

“Well, Sash is probably waiting so I’ll-”

“Yeah, yeah sure. No problem.”

“It’s nice to see you again, Mika.”

“You too.” she responds, as you swallow that salty feeling in your throat and pad down the stairs.

Eren is interrupted by an incessant pounding on his door, only to find Armin standing there with an excited look on his face.

“Hey. What’s up, ‘Min?”

“Erwin gave me a really cool gift, do you want to see?”

Eren nods, opening up the door, as Armin pads into the room. You and Mikasa are sprawled on Eren’s bedroom floor, the two of you typing away at something on Mikasa’s laptop, while Marco and Jean play a very intense game of go-fish.

Armin gestures for everyone to join him on the floor, as everyone lazily turns their head towards them. He opens up the box, filled with stacks of polaroids, and sets the camera on top.

“What is it?” you ask, as Armin excitedly runs his fingers across the pictures.

“Erwin just gave it to me. He said that when he went to the SHWA, one of his favorite things to do was capture all the memories, so that he’d never forget them.”

Eren digs his hand into the box, the first polaroid he pulls out being one of Levi and Hange, significantly younger. Hange’s excitedly pinching Levi’s cheeks, while he all but glares at her.

“Woah. This one is of Levi and Hange.”

“Is this before they were dating?” you ask, turning your eyes towards Eren.

“Mhm. They’re way younger here, they only started dating after La La Land.

Eren watches your eyes swell, as you run your fingers over the picture.

“Wait, that’s so sweet. That they have all these pictures together, before they were even in love. Like..like they were always meant to be together.”

Jean leans forward, flicking you on the forehead.

“You’re a sap.” he states.

“Says you, asshole.” you respond, glaring at him.

Eren ignores the two of you, digging into the box with Armin as the two of them run their fingers over all the pictures. Of Satoru Gojo, holding a hand out over Levi’s head to mimic how short he is, Erwin and Nanami drinking tea on set, Shoko and Miche smoking a cigarette.

“The first picture that Erwin ever took on the polaroid was this one.” Armin states, handing it to him.

The picture is of him and Levi, the two of them sitting on the floor with their knees hiked to his chest. Unlike any of the other ones, Levi and Erwin are actually smiling, as opposed to their usual smoldering looks that they sport.

“I want the first one I take to be of us, like this.” Armin states, giving him a bright smile.

Eren excitedly nods, tapping on Mikasa’s shoulder, and breaking her out of the pictures she was looking at with Marco.

“Mika.”

“Hm?”

“Can you take a picture of us like this?” he asks, handing her the picture.

She smiles wide, reaching for the camera as she angles it perfectly and flashes the bright light in both of their faces. Armin and Eren laugh as they reach up, itching their aching eyes, before Mikasa holds both of the pictures out to them, side by side.

“God. You’re like their little proteges.” Mikasa states, handing them the pictures.

“Do you need help?” Eren asks.

Armin turns his head, eyes wide and filled with a twinge of detachment that Eren absolutely despises. He’s been finnicking with his polaroid camera - the new one that Eren had bought him - for the past twenty minutes.

“I have extra film if you need it. It’s a weird way to kind of load it in these cameras but-” Eren says, standing up to reach for the camera.

“Well, I’d be able to do it if I still had my camera, wouldn’t I?” Armin seethes, glaring at him as he sets the camera down and angrily paces to the other side of the room.

Eren swallows hard, the sting burning as he swallows hard. Eren prays that Hange and Levi show up any moment to give Armin his script, so that he can retreat to the room with the two of them for the rest of the day and finish writing the script with them.

“I’m sorry.” Eren adds, for what feels like the hundredth time.

Granted, Eren doesn’t think there’s a quantifiable number, a tangible amount of times he could say sorry that Armin would forgive him. And Eren, in earnest, can’t even blame him because he can barely forgive himself.

For getting so carried away.

Eren lifts the camera, dislodging the film from the camera, before inserting it correctly. There’s a click as it slides into place and Eren gently puts the camera down, as Connie walks up to his side.

“Hi Eren.” Connie states, giving him a very hard smack on the back.

“Ow, Connie.”

“My bad. It’s just my humongous fucking biceps, I can’t even cont-”

“Yeah, yeah. Okay, Connie. Pipe it down like the notches.” Eren states, shoving him off to the side.

Connie settles into the couch next to Eren, as Eren can’t help but nervously shake his legs, from Armin’s pacing around the room. He’s picked up the camera from the table, fidgeting with it in its hands as he gets used to the new settings.

No matter how much Eren tried, he couldn’t find the same brand of camera that Erwin had bought Armin all those years. Of course, Erwin had opted for something vintage and of course, something that Eren wouldn’t be able to replicate. Eren had opted for the next big thing, the camera models that Erwin had designed with the polaroid company, as a special.

Because if he can’t have the exact camera Erwin gave him, he can still tie it to him in some way. And it in no way takes away what Eren did, but he hopes it rebuilds the tiniest of bridges between them.

“I like the new camera, Armin.” Connie states, giving him a smile.

Fuck.

“It’s kind of shitty. It’s not really working.” Armin states, Eren’s skin burning at the seething look that Armin’s giving him.

“Well, we’ll help you figure it ou-”

“What’s your deal, Connie?” Armin asks.

Connie’s taken aback, awkwardly laughing, as he lifts his hands up.

“Huh? What ever do you mean, good sir?” Connie asks, mimicking Galliard’s stupid British accent, an increasingly irritating habit of his.

“What kind of shitty game are you playing right now? Pretending like things are fine.” Armin asks.

Connie sighs, Eren sensing the tiniest bit of frustrations in Connie’s shoulders. In the past few months, one of the only things that Connie had been looking forward to was coming back here. An opportunity for him to get back into his roots, to be around people who would support him, before he got back out there.

Before they all did. In a way they never really had before.

And it was increasingly frustrating and even debilitating for Connie to realize that things were different when he got here. Because Armin was still harboring his hatred for Eren, he found out that Mikasa had taken Y/N out of her wedding party, that Y/N was coming back later than everyone else, that really the past few years had caught up to everyone the way they had to him.

Except he was the only one, besides maybe Eren, who was trying to go back for it. And it was increasingly frustrating for him, when no one met him where he was.

“Look, Armin. I think we should all just cool down and talk about-”

“Talk about what? About how you’re being naive as fuck right now?” Armin asks.

“Forgiving isn’t naive. And there’s a lot that you don’t-”

“How can you even stand Eren, in good faith? He’s the reason that you had to go to rehab, Connie. The reason that you had to stop acting, that you stopped talking to me and Sasha and Marco and-”

“That wasn’t Eren’s fault.” Connie states, doing little to deflate the stupid welts of shame Eren was feeling. It’s one thing to have a shitty voice in your head telling you all the things you’ve done wrong. And it’s an entirely different one to have the entire world echo it back to you.

But worst of all is realizing your best friend echoes the same thoughts, shares the same sentiments that are buried in the shittiest parts of your brain.

“How was it not Eren’s fault? He decided to start working with horrible people, he was the one who decided to date Hyla and backstab Y/N and-”

“Armin. You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about so how about you just quit while you’re at it?”

“I don’t know what I’m talking about. You’re the one who's forgetting everything that he did. All the shitty things he said-”

“Is that what you’re going to play victim about? I can promise you, that measly little argument we had out there where he broke your camera is fucking childsplay to half of the shit that Eren and I saw when we were there. You’re lucky that you left the second you did because-”

Armin shoves Connie into the wall behind him, which has Connie shoving him back. Levi, who has cosmically perfect timing, yanks Armin off while Eren grabs Connie, bracing his hands on his shoulders.

“Connie. Quit it, man. You’re better than this, he doesn’t-”

“What right does he have to say that to us, Eren? He doesn’t even know what it was like being there, with those people and-”

“I know, I know, man. Just, he doesn’t know. And he doesn’t mean it, he’s just hurt about-” Eren whispers, as Hange walks Armin out of the room and Levi joins them at their side.

“Are you okay, Connie? Do you feel like you have to-” Levi asks, not daring to say the word.

“No. No, I’ve been good for today, but I just-”

“Okay, Connie. Let’s not talk about it. We should head to set anyways, they’re going to be filming soon. We can watch.” Eren states, his hand firm on Connie’s shoulder as the two of them trot out of the room.

Sasha trots into your room on an odd Thursday night. You and Eren are nearly tangled up in the bed, his hand brushing through your hair as she gives you a meek look from the doorway. She has a rather meek look on her face, almost shy.

“Hey, Y/N. Do you have a second?”

You look up, Eren’s warm hand on your neck. And it’s the fact that she’s here and not wreaking havoc with Connie, with that awkward look on her face, that sets off the first alarms to you.

“Yes. Eren, get out.”

“Um. What happened to please? Please, oh sweet love of my life, sunshine boy of mine?”

“Eren, love. Get out. I’m being serious.” you respond, giving him a narrowed look with your eyes.

He catches on quickly, giving you a quick kiss on the cheek and Sasha a squeeze on the shoulder as he pads out of your room. You tap the spot to your left where Eren was just sitting, as Sasha climbs onto the bed next to you.

“Ew. His spot is all warm.”

“Yeah. He’s like a human heater, sometimes I have to shift away from him while we’re sleeping because I literally start sweating.”

Sasha lies down flat on the bed, eyes fixed on your ceiling, as you follow suit and cross your own hands across your chest. The silence hangs in the air between you, as you wait for her to break first.

“Do you think I’m pretty, Y/N?” Sasha asks.

“What? Of course, I think you’re pretty.”

“I-I don’t mean in a friend way. Do you think guys think I’m pretty?”

She turns over on her side, resting her face against her arm as she looks at you. You mimic her motions again, noting the welling of tears in her usually bright eyes, as your heart drops.

At sweet Sasha, asking you something like this.

“Sash.”

“I was online earlier. And I-I guess I never noticed that everyone on the cast seems to be…coupled up. Or at least the girls are.”

“That’s not true, Sasha. What about Historia?”

“Yeah, but that’s different. Reiner had a crush on her. Ymir still does and-and people like her. Really like her. You can’t really say the same about me, can you?”

You sigh. Because you know, deep down, that the thing she’s talking about is one you can’t relate too. And that anything you said could be a deeper salt in the wound. The two of you sit in silence, as you wrack your brain the hardest for the best thing to say, when Sasha tangles her fingers in with yours.

“Thank you.” Sasha murmurs.

“Huh?”

“I was kind of expecting you to do that whole…shitty you’ll find love someday thing. It’s nice to just have someone here sitting with me, letting me feel it.” she states.

“You’re valid in how you feel. And I-I know I’m not the best person to come to about this but-”

“No, but it’s nice. Just to have someone acknowledge it. Sometimes it’s so shitty when people just expect you to be so optimistic about love, expect it to come when you’ve been waiting forever and you just want someone to fucking hold you or something.”

You open up your arms, which she rolls her eyes at, before smiling and tangling into your arms. It’s then that you see the picture of you and Levi taped on the wall and remember his letters, the one’s he gave you to write the song with for the vow renewal. And the idea springs to your mind.

You dig the letter out, the one where Levi detailed how special Hange was to him, that she made him feel real and loveable and give it to Sasha for the night. And when she trots out of your room, you immediately head to Levi’s room and knock on his door to ask him for what might be your biggest favor yet.

Naturally, he obliges. And takes Sasha out on a date, to make sure that her standards are set straight, whenever someone does come in her life.

You try to fight the embarrassingly large smile on your face as you watch Sasha from a distance, with the tall haired blonde who you’re told is Nicolo. And you know you’re not reaching, because it would be obvious to anyone with eyes that something was going on there.

Things were drastically different. But some of them are for the better.

You hear a set of footsteps behind you, only to find Falco and Gabi, the girl from the polaroid, standing behind you. Falco has a rather awkward look on his face, surely from the fight not fight the two of you were having, while Gabi has her hands behind her back.

You give the two of them a warm smile, and notice Falco visibly deflate, as you tap the floor in front of you. You’re only halfway through the script, not having reached the scenes they were filming today or even your appearance in the show.

“I’m Y/N. Falco’s sister. It’s really nice to meet you.”

“I-I know who you are.” she states, her voice awkwardly rambling as her cheeks flush pink.

“I know who you are too! Something we have in common.” you respond, giving her a smile.

She reaches forward, shaking your extended hand, and you notice how clammy her hand is against yours. Or really, that her entire demeanor seems to be off. This seems less like the Gabi you had been hearing about, bold and confident on the set.

“I have something…really weird to tell you.” she states, mumbling.

“What’s up?”

“Please don’t think this is weird or anything. But you’re a really big role model for me. And-and you always have been.”

Oh. Oh.

It’s at this moment that you realize what’s happening. And it’s only something you can recognize because you too used to be that awkward mess of feelings for Hange. Your heart warms in the biggest of senses, that she wasn’t in that group of people who hated you, at least you didn’t think she was from the way she was acting.

“Gabi. It truly means the world to me that you say that.” you respond, putting a hand on her shoulder and squeezing.

“Really? I-I was so scared I was going to weird you out and you were going to hate me. I-I was most excited to see you when I got here, I’ve been listening to your songs since I was little and I feel like you’ve helped me through so much that I just-”

“You haven’t weirded me out at all. This is very special to me, that you-you feel this way. I’m glad that anything I have done was able to reach you, even if it was in the smallest of ways.”

She deflates, that awkward tension in her shoulders leaving and being replaced by tears wellington in your eyes. You’re not sure why but the entire reaction has tears welling in your eyes, as you open up your arms which she all but dives into.

“Can I ask you for a weird favor?” Gabi asks, climbing out of your arms as she returns to her seat next to Falco.

“Anything.”

She pulls out the sleeve from behind her back and you try your best to swallow that disgusting, acidic venom in your throat. She hands you her copy of The Lucky One vinyl, the vinyls that were specifically distributed without your permissions.

Vinyls that you didn’t even make a cent off of. That put millions of dollars into the pockets of the two people that you hated the most.

“I have signed copies of all of your vinyls. Except for this one. I was wondering if yo-”

“Sure. Do you have a pen?” you ask, fighting the discomfort in your skin.

You open up the sleeve, ignoring the picture of all of you on the front, as you write.

Gabi,

I feel like I’m the Lucky One for getting to meet you. I can’t wait to see where you go from here.

Love,

Y/N

You shut the vinyl quickly, handing it to her, and murmuring something about being hungry as you shuffle away to the snack table. You don’t miss her excited face, the way she excitedly grabs onto Falco’s shoulder, as she reads it to him.

Levi rings the bell, calling for them to take their cues, as you settle into the chair. Colt, Gabi, Udo, and Zofia stand on their marks, as Zofia crawls under the rock placed there. You can see that she’s coated in set makeup, blood running down the side of her face, as Levi yells action.

“Get up, Gabi! Udo!” Colt screams, picking up the two of them in their hands.

There’s tons of extras running in the peripheral, the sound loud and jarring as they all scream.

“Stand up! Hurry!” Colt says.

Gabi turns her head, a quarter of the way, to where Zofia’s laying under the rock, and that’s when you realize it.

That Zofia’s character just died.

“Zofia?” Gabi states, her voice so painstakingly grating that it makes you flinch and your throat immediately dry.

Udo runs to the side of the rock, bracing his hands on it, as he screams and you realize too quickly what’s about to happen.

“Hurry, we have to lift this!”

Except the extras march perfectly around Udo, just to knock him down, before they all mimic running over them. You quickly notice the makeup team run in as the camera focuses on the people running, and what you assume is going to be Eren’s titan, as they drench Udo in red dye, cacking it onto his porcelain skin.

And when you hear it, it’s enough to make your stomach hurt, to have the contents in your just about ready to come up.

It’s Gabi. Sweet, soft Gabi letting out an ear splitting scream, as Colt holds her close. The looks on both of their faces are so blank, so dead that it’s enough to sprout tears to your eyes, that quickly fall down your cheeks.

Levi quickly calls cut, as Udo and Zofia stand up from their marks, and come out laughing. They’re both still caked in their red makeup, giving each other high fives, when all you can do is clutch your chest in pain, at that painstakingly painful feeling in your chest.

And you’re not sure what exactly it is. That’s bringing this up for you. Until one of them says it, in passing. And you know they’re just kids, that they mean well, but it hits you so hard that the entire events of the day come crashing down in one second.

“God, Udo. You’re messed up. This is a horribly fucked up version of the Lion King.” she states, placing her hands on her hips.

“Shut up, Zofia. We both know that your death was way worse than mine. You basically suffocated to death under that lame ass rock.”

Udo and Zofia remind you too much of Marco. Too much of filming that scene, all those years ago and being blind sided by it. By walking into the set thinking you were going to watch something normal, only to watch one of your best friends pretend to die.

Only for him to really die years later. By suffocating to death, under the crush of the metal.

Your cries are muffled by arms coming around you, quickly rushing you out into the cold air of the set as they continue to film inside. The embrace is warm, accompanied by soft words you can’t even barely hear, with the sound of the blood rushing in your ears.

It’s all consuming. That’s the shitty thing about your grief. It’s buried deep into the pits of your heart and just when you think you’ve moved past it, when it’s standing behind you and you’ve grown past it, it hits you in full flesh when you least expect it. Leaving you debilitated, paralyzed.

Alone.

You only clock that it’s Eren from the smell. It’s clean and minty - a mix of his laundry and the deodorant he wears - as he only brings his arms around you harder, his voice finally coming into recognition in your ears.

“Y/N. You’re okay. It’s okay, you-”

You try to respond, only to let out a garbled sound. Eren pulls back slightly, the entire image of him, that overwhelming pounding in your chest and him catching you off guard.

“I’ve got you. No one saw, we don’t need to go back and-

Eren’s hair is long. So long that it’s secured into a small bun in the back of his hair. And as always, his eyes are washed over in concern, his hands rubbing small circles into your skin as he all but stares you down.

“Er-”

“I know. You don’t have to say anything. It reminded me of him too.”

“I just-”

You come up short on words as Eren expectantly looks at you, waiting to hear what’s on your mind. And you can’t even fathom that feeling into words if you wanted to.

“I don’t want to go back.”

“Okay. Let’s take lunch.” he states, gesturing to you to walk towards the townhouse with him.

You give Eren a meek nod, as the tears continue to pour from your eyes and that hollow feeling fills your chest. The two of you walk in silence, Eren not taking his hand off of your wrist as you pad back into the townhouse, completely deserted.

Eren’s quick to move, shuffling around the kitchen, as you lean against the counter with your head in your hands.

“Do you want me to get you anything? I’m making ramen but it’s still boiling.” he asks, setting a glass of water by your side.

“No mushrooms, Eren.” you state, glaring.

“I remember, Y/N.” he says, so softly that it stings.

And a few minutes later, the two of you are sitting side by side at the table, with the steaming bowls of ramen in your hands. And the entire events of the say, each stinging thorn in your side, are the only reason you can fathom as to why you talk to Eren, of all people.

“I feel like I’m trying really hard to be my old self again, Eren.” you state.

You look over at him and he doesn’t respond, only giving you a nod, like he’s asking you to keep going.

“I-I want to be how we all used to be. But it’s like that person I was, those feelings I had, they’re all buried somewhere deep in my head and I can’t find it. And I hate to think that she’s gone. That she has no place here anymore.”

You move your chopsticks around in the bowl, through Eren’s perfectly diced vegetables and sigh.

“Every person I look at, all I can do is remember everything. How it used to be.” you state.

Eren looks to his left, at you staring at him with your big, tear filled eyes, and swallows hard. And thinks hard and deep, at everything that’s changed.

He leans forward, crushing your hand in his own, and hopes that the message gets across to you. And when you lean your head against his shoulder, he’s positive that it does.

Eren relishes in the one thing that seems to remain. You, sitting next to him.

next part linked here

an: ALRIGHT BABY GIRLS. buckle in. the next chapter is called the new romantics! dare I say....the next chapter has the F word.........FLUFF WITH A CAPITAL F

taglist:

@k0z3me @kayleegomez @yihona-san06 @bsenpai @sweetenertea @mykyoon @violetmatcha @rebeccawinters @cutiejg @bokutosthings @bookwrmm @mblrrr @wheredidmycrowngo @somethinginyoureyes7 @chilichopsticks @okaystopwhore @you-always-made-me-blush @itzmeme @firelordazulaaaa @whoami-72 @g-ghostly @intimacywithceline @erensmoodygf @cocomellxn @princess-ackerman @jaegerfiles @cacapeepee @squirrelspoetry @rui-0836 @moonmalice @invisible-mori @sofiasber @bbybeeb @timetobegone @tee4str @ttokki2 @leave-rae-alone @ec3lipsy @officialsimpp @gojojang @yookayyo @lordbugs @multiplefandomthings @iobeyfandoms @camilo-uwu @justanotherkpopstanlol @mel-star636 @fvckingeetar @ttalgi @najaemism @ilovekimchi123 @youraggedybitch

pls comment on this post or any of the chapters if you want to be added to the taglist <3

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vanellopes-mun · 1 year ago

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Vanellope VS. Turbo: A Mini Analysis!

There are a million reasons why Turbo’s reveal in Disney’s Wreck-it Ralph is such an iconic and memorable scene. A scene that I and many others have replayed ever since 2012 and its impact has never left our minds. It solidified King Candy/Turbo as one of Disney's top villains ever created, surprising and shocking viewers with a plot twist that Disney hasn’t been able to overthrow with their other movies before they abandoned villains until King Magnifico but he sucks so. He WISHES he was as charismatic as King Candy plz-

But this analysis isn’t just about King Candy/Turbo, it’s also about Vanellope Von Schweetz. She’s the most important ingredient to making this scene work and play out the way it does and ultimately why it’s so fucking cathartic. ( More so than Ralph’s fight against Cy-Bug Turbo in my opinion) After watching how it was originally story boarded, the crew behind WiR perfected this scene with a specific detail that they changed. In the early storyboard, Vanellope causes King Candy’s vehicle to crash, causing him to glitch and transform into Turbo in front of the cameras. While I love love love the extended race between Vanellope and King Candy and sort of wished it could have been longer in the actual film, I am content that they didn’t go with the direction. In the movie, King Candy is revealed after trying to beat/kill Vanellope with his horn rod/pole thingy from his kart, she grabs it and glitches due to stress/adrenaline/her emotions, her blue glitch traveling through the cane and making contact with King Candy, finally putting down the facade he had on for 15 years and revealing him as Turbo to the characters in the film and the audience. It’s such a small detail, it only happens in a second, but it’s all it took for the start of his downfall and his eventual demise.

And this is why it brings me catharsis every time I watch this scene. I could never put it into words before, but it’s beyond satisfying that the end of King Candy’s horrible reign starts with Vanellope and her glitch. The very same glitch that he caused trying to delete her code and remove her place from the game. The glitch that he used as an excuse to turn everyone in Sugar Rush against her. He usurped her throne and tried to ruin her life. Despite this, he still had the audacity to shout “Get off of MY track!” earlier. It brings his Roadblasters incident back up, it was his choice, trying to steal the thunder of another racing game that just got plugged in because he couldn’t stand the idea of anyone taking his place, only for Turbo Time and Roadblasters to be unplugged. All of this circling back and biting him in the ass. Vanellope was the key all along and he knew it, he feared her despite never really having a conversation with her as far as we know (Vanellope asking Turbo “What the-?! Who are you!?” leads me to believe that if they did converse in the past, it was not in his true form and he was most likely already King Candy. Plus it just goes to show how fast he hijacked Sugar Rush), but you can just tell by how desperate he was to keep her from racing, he didn’t want anyone to take his place ever again.

So the scene continues and his famous line and breakdown goes as this: “I’m Turbo! The greatest racer ever! And I did not reprogram this world to let YOU and that halitosis riddled warthog TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME!” It’s just so ironic, unfair and hypocritical of him it makes my blood boil! And the way he’s raising his voice, jabbing his finger at her and Vanellope’s trying to shrink away from him as he yells at her face before he tries to murder her I just- So cruel, scary, wicked and disturbing! But Vanellope, this brave WARRIOR, is reminded of her glitch after Turbo calls her for what he believes is the last time. “End of the line, Glitch!” She takes a moment, everything slows down around her as she tries to control her glitch to escape Turbo. She glitches away, missing the wall and It ends up saving her life! I just cannot stress enough how beautiful that is! She used her disability, that everyone thought would simply doom her and the game, and embraced it when she needed it most. Her glitch, while it was suddenly given to her by circumstances she couldn’t control or prevent, she took control back. It’s her beautiful superpower and it’s empowering. After this scene, it’s the “end” of Turbo before he gets nom’d by a Cy-Bug. ( I want to note that he later says “I’m the most powerful VIRUS in the arcade”, part of me wants to believe he said that because clearly Vanellope bested him as the greatest racer ever but I doubt that was their intention lol)

They’re the embodiment of Selfishness vs. Selflessness. While Vanellope had everything taken away from her, she didn’t follow the same path as him. Turbo had everything taken from him, but it was his fault and he only ever thought about himself, never about the destruction he left behind. Hell, all she ever wanted was to be one of the racers, no matter how much they bullied her and ostracized her, she never ended up being evil like him even though it would be a perfect recipe to become a villain, this is also what makes her a mirror to Ralph. (Remember in that one deleted scene where she said she wanted to break the racers’ legs but come on can you blame her!?!?! She was so real for saying that.) VANELLOPE IS MY FAVORITE CHARACTER EVER AAAA.

Before I ramble any further, I will forever love the choices that the writers made for the climax and it just ends up being an absolutely perfect and brilliant scene and I will continue to rewatch for the millionth time.

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jellazticious · 11 months ago

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“You can’t rush art”

I think everybody can recall the quote from Toy Story 2. From the most satisfying part of the movie where we see a montage of Woody getting restored by a toy maker. It’s one of my favourites too, I absolutely loved looking at the different procedures used to fix a single toy. The toymaker’s precision and care were found mesmerizing by everyone. As a multi-hatted artist, one that can draw, sculpt, animate, and write, I can say that it’s spot on that there’s so much to do for a single piece of work. HOOO boy, you should see how me and Beefy are organizing Cursed to Charm, there’s so much.

For the upcoming webcomic, we design characters, give each and every one of them their stand-alone story, design different clothes, create the map, draw renders and posters, polish scripts for the episodes, plan to program the comic’s own website, make the backgrounds eventually, etc. To people who aren’t artists or take art for granted, to them, art is stroking a paper using a pen and BAM instant masterpiece. No no, it’s more than that.

Another thing I’d like to say about the comic is that the progress is very slow yet very fruitful because of the time taken. Me and my co-author came up with the idea at late November, which makes the comic four months old now. However, with all that time passed, we have already finalized the list of nine episodes of season one. We have also written seven out of nine summaries from that season before actually writing the dialogue in detail. We have a rough four seasons worth of story progression in the span of four months. Nyeh, excuse the little ramble about CtC, I’m just giving insight of how much should be done for the production of anything which leads us to the next point.

Art production in general.

Movies, animation, shows, video games, books, comics etc etc

All of these are part of art, some people would deny because it isn’t sophisticated like they’re lead to believe art is supposed to be. Art is literally just creation man, can’t get any simpler than that 😩 if you made something, then you made something woohoo! Congratulations you made art, cooking included. It came free with your fucking humanity.

Anyway, just like the webcomic, every single one of these listed also have a set of different procedures that will piece together the final output.

Let’s take Disney movies as a specific example, I want to talk about something real quick.

So one time, I was watching Tarzan with my parents and we stuck around for the end credits. My mom pointed out the animators are divided into sections and there’s so much names on them. There are different teams of animators for each character and these teams are divided in two for the storyboarders and the clean up artists. When the credits rolled a bit more, it showed that the background artists and colorists also have their own sections too. There’s so much people working on different body parts of a movie. I got the habit of reading end credits of every movie I watch, animated or live action, then I would compare the credits of old and new movies. Boy, let me tell you that the work space on old movies are FILLED compared to newer movies. One thing I noticed about Disney movies although, is that the old movies have more sections compared to new ones. The major difference of old Disney and new Disney are the length of the credits and the time gap of the movies. I’m really not trusting the way new movies have way shorter end credits while the publish time of new movies are getting narrower and narrower. Before the 2000s, movies usually come out twice a year and sometimes there’s a two-year hiatus before the next batch of movies are published. Now there’s at least two or three movies that publish yearly while also releasing a bunch of shows in the middle of it. I really don’t understand business talk with the way it sacrifices quality over quantity. Like I get having money is great and all but what’s the use of hoarding it? Especially when there’s so much news of people about to be in poverty and mass layoffs. Why should companies earn money if they’re not going to redistribute it back to the economy at all? This is a little off topic but I want to point it out that people in the 80s used to buy whole houses by being a janitor but nowadays people could barely afford a one room apartment even with three jobs. The Simpsons is an example of this because it was set in the 90s and the family is constantly reminded of how “poor” they are. They even created an episode that talks about the same job that supported people’s fathers will no longer support you nowadays (Poorhouse Rock ep22 s33). It’s fishy and I’m salty about it especially because I hear so much people complaining about how they’re not being given a chance to work. Anywho! Let’s go back to art.

I’m just spitballing my thoughts here but somehow they’re connecting either way. All I’m trying to say is that for the people who care so much about the quality of art, it’s noticeable that they get downgraded, not just by the look but by the way they’re written.

Example.

Clone High.

Jesus Christ, the new show is a nightmare and an insult to the original Clone High. The difference is clear with this one. The original Clone High was heavy satire of every single high school trope used in shows and movies. Every single character was meant to have one personality and that personality is the butt of the joke. The original did not care about making the characters appealing because the appeal is found in the way they interact, they clash so much and a lot of them are idiots. The writing is funny because the dialogue flows so easily unlike the renewal. The renewed Clone High takes itself too seriously and it tries too hard to be relevant. It’s funny to me that fans can draw the original’s art style more accurately than the animators hired. What’s even more frustrating is that concept art was released from the art head and the concept art looked way better than what they decided on the final designs. Other than the art style that tries to be marketable, the writing is insufferable with the way they try to be “relatable” without understanding why the original jokes were funny to begin with.

Now we’re all familiar with this cheap tactic of using the title of successful franchises to grab clicks and views. It’s every live action Disney film, it happened to Scooby Doo, Marvel shows, FNAF, some Cartoon Network shows, Megamind, and now even Kung Fu Panda. Basically MILKING. It would have been better if the productions TRIED to understand the original’s intentions which they forgot about. They ended up being disappointing at best and soulless at worst. I won’t be explaining much cuz I’ve already reached the minimum word count lmao. I’m just rambling here, I better not see anyone interrogate me in asks or replies. ANYWAY, I’m gonna get to the point real quick.

Back to the quote at the start of the post, people tend to forget that. Art is a skill, not a button people press and it gives you pretty pictures or videos. Art is a job and an effort. While art is subjective and it differs from person to person, one thing for certain is that art that is made ingenuinely will never be better than art that is made because the artist loves art. This is why the Tom & Jerry reboots with the lineless art style even if they had a storyboard artist who understood the cartoon wackiness (which were discarded for a “cleaner” and faster style). This is why it’s so frustrating to see concept art of movies which have more appeal than the final 3d models. This is why FNAF Security Breach was nearly unplayable.

Because they all rushed art.

They rushed in favour of what is marketable, no matter how unappealing it is. Everything could have been better, some final products are good, but all of them could have been better. As good as what were released pre 2010s when production had a passion. You can’t spell heart without art.

I’m just really passionate about art in any form since it’s everything that created me too. I will not be here at this point in time if it weren’t for me learning that there’s so much beauty in the world if you could just squint and appreciate why that’s so. I’m defined by my works and it only hurts and infuriates me that people who have the ability and accessibility to create better art than I do waste it for their personal gain or selfish intentions. Everyone could be a better person because of art just as it did to me. Again, it came to us the moment we’re born, art isn’t just a pretty picture, it’s everything we create out of love, passion, time, and effort.

But really, to the wise words of Chef Saltbaker, “like any good bake, heart and soul is the secret ingredient”

You can’t rush art.

#Jell tells wisdom #<-keeping it PG #I wrote this

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night-error · 8 months ago

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MAP CALL!!!! 4/21

I've been working on this for AGES (ever since Ep 2 of tpc s2 came out)

Parts!!

Intro-

Pt1- Thewolferclan087 (yt)

Pt2- Thewolferclan087 (yt)

Pt3- me- (I rlly wanna help with the map even tho im the host)

Pt4-

Pt5-

Pt6-

Pt7-

Pt8-

Pt9-

Pt10-

Pt11-

Pt12- astronic-fr

Pt13-

Pt14-

Pt15-

Pt16-

Pt17-

Pt18-

Pt19-

Outro-

Rule 1- When posting your part here do not use a watermark or greenscreen, but if you're posting it on your social media then you are allowed

Rule 2- just for safety please make your parts 3-5 frames larger than it is incase it is accidentally make just too short.

Rule 3- You are allowed to collab with someone just tell me who it is so you both get credited!

Rule 4- the length of the part must be 1920×1080. If you mess up with the size then it's absolutely fine just try to make it around that size! ^^ (I actually broke this rule myself while making the reference/Storyboard)

Rule 5- Dont judge others parts, we are all at different levels of skill. You will get 3 warnings before your part and role will get taken away

Rule 6- do not be afraid to ask for anything!

Rule 7- try to make the characters look as cannon as possible!

Rule 8- don't rush the you'll have 2 months to complete this map so please use it. If you are still working on it past the 2 months and have provided with a wip and another wip to show your process so far you'll have an extension of about 3-4.

Rule 9- You can use any type of animating, although I'd like to keep it 2D and Gacha will not be allowed.

Rule 10- do not trace others work. I also would discourage tracing the storyboard but if you are very struggling use it to help you!

Rule 11- Have fun, it can be stressful at times to create a map part up to your own expectations but do not stress yourself on it.

Rules may be added on if I haven't made things clear enough! The map may seem strict but I assure you im trying not to make it strict!

Script!

Heads up-

WITHIN THE FIRST HALF CIRCUSIC IS NOT TO LOOK BACK AT IRIS WITH ANY SORT OF SADDNESS OR REGRET. IRIS IS ALLOWED TO DO THAT BUT NOT TOO STRONG OF EMOTIONS

Intro- The intro will have 'Evelyn Evelyn' on it for a good few seconds before it fades. The closed boom beside the text is the picture book from 'iris's discovery'. It opens slowly revealing 3 pictures, 1 of the right and 2 on the left (is optional for what you put in the ones on the left, but keeping it iris and circusic themed is good). there should be a few second pause before the camera zooms into a picture of past iris and circubit. Making it full screened.

Part 1: young iris and cirusic are standing within a forest. Circusic doesn't seem sure about where they are and is of course nervous. Iris lightens the mood by pulling a funny face which they both laugh at. After the laughing brings a slight tear of joy to cirusics eye which he wipes will iris moves forward. Their chestplates glow when iris's hand reaches forward, trying to take circubits. Circubit also steps(/skates) forward but the screen will turn white just when they are about to touch.

Pt.2- iris and circubit walk (/skate) in different directions from eachother, stopping when they are satisfied with the distance. Iris looks down at the floor while this actors.

Pt.3- the camera focuses on Circusic who doesn't seem impressed. Circusic calls iris a parasite but the camera switches to Iris after the sound 'Para-' is said. After that iris is supposedly hurt by that and a tear forms in his eye. It is quickly replaced with rage as iris turns his head around yelling.

Pt.4- iris does a full body turn, facing circusics back. He stomps his foot with rage of what circusic thinks of him. This annoys circubit.

Pt.5.- The camera faces cirusics back. As he slowly gets more and more annoyed as he speaks. Eventually yelling and moving his hand before regaining his composure slightly.

Pt.6- there's a side view of iris, his eyes are closed and his hand is at his chest. He then opens his eyes and ever so slowly and gently reaching his hand out to grab circusics shoulder. The camera slowly turns somwe can see out off iris's POV. Before iris can touch circusic the screen turns white.

Pt.7- the scene starts with a flash. Showing a much more brighter time with many flowers blooming. The ghosty past circusic slowly turns around to iris, who pulls his hand back a little. Iris then hesitantly reaches forward, wanting to touch his chestplate since the memory he is experiencing feels real. The screen turns white again.

Pt.8- the white fads and circusic has a harsh grip on iris's hand, his face is filled with rage. He then forcefully shoves iris's hand away, using great force.

Pt.9- the camera focuses on a side angle of circubit. Cirusics head slowly faces down as his eys glare at iris. The camera slowly moves over to iris as he pulls his hand back to his side. Annoyed of what circusic just did.

Pt.10- iris raises his head slightly when talking to circubit to make him seem more bigger. he then closes his eyes tightly.

Pt.11- the camera is quite a bit away from iris as he talks, his eyes are still closed and his hands are behind his back. The more iris talks the more the dark side of him covers his face. Eventually half of his face is covered when that happens a red flash appears and iris opens his eyes. The red silhouette of the King appears in front of him, slowly fading.

Pt.12- Circusic starts to walk backwards but tries to keep up a brave face to iris.

Iris is still walking forward, he swings his arm in a one side motion to show his anger.

Pt.13- Circusic is still moving backwards although not as fast as he previously was as he does hands gestures to iris showing him both rage and confusion. Iris, also slows down at his face, angrly pointing at circusic.

Pt.14: circusic is frustrated and brings his arms up to his shoulders, he then clenching his face and glares at the camera (aka iris). Iris has folded his arms as he stops walking. He gets frustrated and he tenses his arms up.

Pt.15- another flashback occurs of iris and circusic having a laugh. The camera zooms out and it shows the scene of iris and circusic appearing in iris eye. The pupil of it softening up remembering it. The scene cuts to iris chest, where he reaches to his chest place and grabs the clothing surrounding it.

Pt.16- the screen spilts, having iris on the right and circusic on the left. Iris pulls his hand away from his chest closes his eyes small tears can be seen forming. Circusic pulls his hands from behind his back to his sides. Moving his head downwards in a glare. The background around them gets darker and duller as they also seem to get a bit darker. Their chestplates light up with a black glow

(The camera slowly zooms in the entire scene)

Pt.17- both their chestplates are glowing, although unlike when they were kids they glow back. The camera continues to zoom until it slows down. Iris opens his eyes and leans forward, tears dripping down his face. Circusics eyes go smaller and tears are forming but nothing comes out. They both stop yelling and glare at eachother with tears. Before the screen turns to black.

Pt. 18- the screen is still quite dark. But the shilluette of past iris and circusic can be seen sitting on grass. The reaper can be seen for a few seconds, before it tuns back to iris and circusic.

Pt:19: the reaper flashes in once again raising its scythe. This time, iris and circusic look back with fear in their eyes. The reaper flashes in again, this time its scythe is fully raised and it can be seen swinging down just for a second.

Outro- The carma goes back to iris and circusic except they aren't there. In their place are 2 flowers. The one is circusics place is drying and has pink at the top of it. The other flowers petals slowly fall to the floor, leaving it with just the pollen. The camera switches and shows the book from 'iris's discovery' laying down, its closed and is in a dark area.

Please reply to the blog so I am be to tell you if a part is free or not!!!

Discord if you are thinking of getting a part!!!

https://discord.com/invite/nak553wg

The map should be completed by 8th August!!

Goodluck for those who are participating!

#maps #the pink corruption #digital art #sketch #tpc iris #tpc circusic #map call #animation #animatic

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dootznbootz · 10 months ago

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You mentioned Telemachus having sharp Naiad teeth. Imagine if he used those teeth to take out all the suitors. With Odysseus’ help of course.

Sadly, would probably leave him open and vulnerable to attacks :'D So he probably wouldn't unless really desperate.

Sharp naiad teeth are more for "I can rip through any fish scale and bone and be fine." as an adaptation for water life than for battles between mortals. Odysseus watches so lovingly seeing his Water wife and Water son devour whole fish.

Telemachus is around 37.5% Naiad and he'd probably be using water from the canals to trip suitors. Even then, he can only work with a certain amount of water. Penelope has MUCH more control and she's kind of there as well. Imagining Odysseus seeing a bunch of dudes drowning, only to realize it's not Telemachus, itches my brain. He starts cackling and gets a special bloodlust when he realizes she's "there". It's another reason why he's so hurt when she firsts rejects him as "We were basically flirting during our dinner, you drowned some suitors. You KNOW it's me! WHY?!" but uh...He doesn't know that Athena had to tell Penelope not to drown the "stranger". She was mostly trying to make sure Telemachus stays safe and along with you know, killing the suitors now that she has "permission". There's more to it but yeah lkasjdf sounds nuts but I think it'll work.

Penelope looked him in the eye during that dinner, tears still damp on her cheeks, and says "You say all these things but My Odysseus, who fidgets with his clothing and who bounces his knees in time with my own, would never leave me weeping while he sits. He would throw his arms around me!" "...He would if he could." Then he goes to sleep outside and she's pissed and he's a mess. :D The "Beggar" looks nothing like her husband but he moves and talks just like her love, his voice unsteady as he praises her. What the fuck is going on? Basically she knows it's him but also is like "Why would he keep himself from me?" Like how Odysseus tells HER during the treebed scene

And Athena is editing her fanfiction document for these two as "You little fucks weren't supposed to be doing this! I kept your tears from falling, Odysseus, why do you have to be such a sap?! Shit! Back to the storyboard."

Anyways!!! :D

Naiads usually don't bite people unless they feel they have no other option. Odysseus is an exception as he does have ONE "special bite" from his special wife because he's a little freak who wanted it rdtfygufgh. Penelope bit Palamedes on his forearm as he held her back as he took Telemachus from Anticlea and Penelope rushed after him. Odysseus is haunted by the image of both his wife and son sobbing while her teeth are stained with blood. He gets sick pleasure seeing that scar on Palamedes' arm before he gets him killed.

And as a whole, there are actually a couple "rules" Naiad born soldiers have to follow that are very important within war.

With battle, even if you ARE naiad born, you have to ask the river god "Hey, this is getting really bad. Can we work together for this?" As River gods are usually like "I am here for your consumption, bathing, and healing. You will not use my water for violence." (Why Achilles gets his ass kicked and why Naiad born soldiers don't just "drown people")

If someone/something is attacking your river or YOU, like an animal wreaking havoc (like the big catfish! :D ) or a person trying to kill a single naiadborn, then self defense is fine. Daphne got turned into a tree because Apollo outranks nymphs and the river gods. River gods don't fuck with Olympians but he still wanted to protect her.

Though once you have your own water source (canals, vase full, etc.) you're technically free to do whatever you want with it. (Penelope loves this loophole 😈 The Palace waters are hers. and Telemachus' too but you know.)

With the war aspect, however, there are so many wounds that are like "wow, you probably have an extreme infection or should've killed you eventually". BUT it's convenient when you have Naiad born soldiers that can "heal you up" (Penelope's brothers are part of Menelaus' army btw!!! :D )

It's kind of why it's become a "If a man is still alive when they're picked up and rescued, that doesn't mean shit. A naiad born person will fix it before they even bleed out. If they don't die instantly, they just come back."

Same with fighting among nymphs btw.

Even if you're naiad born, you can't just act like how you do at home with a foreign river. Feel free to jump and swim and wet your scales but stay out of their business. If the naiads of Athens decided to punish people by poisoning the waters, you, as a Spartan naiadborn, do not meddle! Can't start purifying it to give to the citizens. Maybe for your OWN people who came with you on the foreign expedition if you ask but don't meddle with foreign river problems. Each culture is different.

Took a while for Penelope to adjust and improve relations with Ithaca naiads because of this. And when Tyndareus and Icarius were exiled, it was a culture shock for them as they're 50% naiad. Even with non-naiadborn, it's a shock. Menelaus and Agamemnon were in Sparta during their own exile had to adjust too, though Menelaus definitely fit right in. (I'm so excited to write about 18-20 year old Agamemnon's first interaction with 9 year old Penelope. It's a misunderstanding at first but it's wholesome. Spoiler: Have you ever been in a place and then a random little kid starts talking to you and then they give you a leaf or something? YEAH >:D It's that but sillier. It's cute.)

Honestly, I'm playing around a lot with the whole "Sparta being very military-focused" thing as it's really kind of fun to think of people having children with naiads/naiadborn as somewhat of a strategy. If you can't have demigods, nymph born children are still better than fully mortal ones. It's why there ARE so many naiad born and why interactions are basically informal in Sparta in my fics compared to other places. Like Ithaca.

I got really offtrack but in conclusion: There are special rules and customs of each freshwater source. And how battles are affected by it. Telemachus doesn't bite any of the suitors but probably uses water to help him and to heal his and Eumeaus' wounds.

#Mad rambles #shot by odysseus #my headcanons #Water Wife #Naiads #I...I think a lot about this stuff. I have so much stupid lore that always needs explanationnnnn #ask #cjbolan #Odysseus loves his sharptoothed family🥹

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cancan-jpg · 8 months ago

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HENLO! currently very bored and sick in bed rn, so i thought i'd give everyone an update on the past semester i had at animation school as Proof of Life, since i've been so inactive on main lately hehe!

Spent this entire past semester working on Building A Guy, through four different assignments - design, modelling, texturing/surfacing, and rigging! Super excited to animate him next term!

Got re-elected to Student Council for the 2nd year in a row - i like to think i'm very good at it! :D

Entered a local game jam with some friends, wrote a (still unfinished, still buggy) visual novel, with the rest of my team on art and RenPy code dev, and we won a prize about it! Crazy for a first game!

Went to art galleries and saw selections of Silly Little Guys

Worked at ComicCon at our school's promotional booth! Spent basically a week rushing with friends between class, the con, the occasional evening student council event, home to sleep a few hours, before doing it all over the next day 😵‍💫 loved it though, an artist i hung out with at the con printed Doom Patrol stickers JUST for me since they weren't sure there'd be an audience 🥺 Met interesting folks there, also chased at least one rude karen-type out of our booth

Got really into co-op TTRPGs - my friends and i have board game nights sometimes, and our fave at the moment is a narrative survival Space Horror game called Nemesis! I'm also a Betrayal at the House on the Hill enjoyer, i'm basic <3

Currently lead writer/production designer in an animatic production team for our storyboard class - I can't reveal details publically in case the pitch makes its way into Graduation Film team selection for next year (in which case it'll be watchable one day! By you! But until then we'll sign NDAs for understandable reasons), but YOOOOO i'm hyped!!!! Excited to hopefully spill the beans one day 👀✨️

Ended the term with a bang before passing out with a cold RIGHT at the start of winter break (our winter is in June). Stuck in bed but catching up on media - i finished reading Legends & Lattes (very cute, very gay), watched Team Starkid's "Nerdy Prudes Must Die!" at a friend's recommendation, and borrowed another friend's copy of "The Hand, The Eye & The Heart", a transmasc Mulan retelling in a fantasy setting!

I think that's mostly everything new! Hope to draw for fun again while I'm still on break, and hopefully get around to posting some animations of my silly little guy!!!

#can can posts!

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doubleddenden · 3 months ago

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A little more beta stuff was leaked recently- this time focusing on Legends Arceus and Scarlet and Violet.

So first off, I won't link anything outright to my blog just in case. Find it on Twitter, YouTube, or Reddit.

Second, there's nothing about beta Pokemon so far- and I kind of doubt there will be in the files given the games were rushed to a degree. But it is strange, both have elements in them that could have changed the final games a bit- probably Arceus moreso, as SV's is more on the graphics side.

Third, i am not a leaker nor do i personally have access to the builds- this is strictly commentary on *videos* you can easily find yourself. This is simply just thoughts I have- some may agree or disagree, I'm not arguing.

That out of the way: Legends Arceus

So first of all, we finally have confirmation that the modern bedroom found in LA's game files (as in the final distributed product) was indeed a remnant of what would have been before the official beginning we got. There were storyboards with it that depict the player watching a professor give their "Welcome to the World of Pokemon" speech, then it zooms out to reveal the player was playing a game on TV, they take a break to scroll on their phone, then digital shenanigans happen on the phone and the player gets sucked into a whole in reality.

This is old news to some- but there's also unfinished animation that depict this, basically only modeling the player and the tv- the rest is grey. It seems to be an idea they were serious about, but decided to cut it- I think it's for the best tbh. I never have liked GF's "kids and their smart phones" rhetoric and this made it seek like we'd rather be on our phones instead of playing the game.

Onto gameplay, there's footage of beta Hikari (has a headband instead of the bandana) and a Unovan Zoroark running and JUMPING around in the field. They battle with a Luxray in what appears to be auto battling with some limited commands from the trainer. This actually validates certain leaks for Legends Arceus and perhaps maybe even pre SwSh? Anyway, they claimed GF were debating intensely on a new battling system, and I believe one even compared it to Digimon World Next Order- this certainly matches the description, imo, but definitely dumbed down and in early phases. These rumors would persist a while during LA's marketing phase, so the decision to change to the system we have must have been last minute.

On a personal note, I know there are a lot of fans that are tired of the turn based battling system, but I'm personally glad we didn't go down the road of auto battling. It looked awkward to watch, and also it would make catching pokemon hell because there'd be a chance to knock it out when it's in the red. It does need work for sure- but I would argue it just needs work on an animation, camera, and overall aesthetic angle rather than try to fully shift things to a new system you know they wouldn't get right for a long time.

Back to the facts- there also appears to be a very early and very janky ability for the player to ride their Zoroark? I think? At the least, although both models are running on top of each other (developer beta, keep in mind), the player DOES seem on top of Zoroark, who does seem to gain a massive boost of speed in response.

Side note- this does harken to the supposedly canceled game: Pokemon Rodeo, where you ride Pokemon around. I believe footage showed the area where Scyther hang out in LA, and the project had been worked on since 2019. Perhaps they wanted to try to implement it in LA, but they scrapped the idea for accessibility via the ride system.

It's also clear they wanted to do something with Zoroark all the way back here- they weren't kidding when they said Arceus would be a very experimental game, it seems.

Onto the next game: Scarlet and Violet.

Scarlet and Violet beta footage doesn't really glean much other than a similar build of the final product (and let's not kid ourselves, the game is clearly unfinished). However, there is 1 unused music track, I think, towards the beginning of the game.

There's also a much different LIGHTING and SHADOW system compared to what we got in the end. It honestly looks way better than the final product, and it meshes with the environments WAY better imo. Most likely it was changed to the inferior one for performance purposes, as the game did somehow run slower than before (in an emulator, but still).

Personal take- I know some people's gut reaction is to immediately blame the Switch for being "under powered," but do keep in mind it could handle BoTW, ToTK, Xenoblades 1, 2, and 3, and more while still handling pretty decent shading. It is curious, however, that ported games such as Red Dead Redemption or Fate/Samurai Remnant might have some issues in a similar manner (there are some leaks of pc versions of some of these games being leaked, but they require very specific pc builds that would make them harder or impossible to run on much besides dev kit or Switch hardware). I don't know if this would be an issue with creating with the Switch 2 dev kit and having to downgrade- we know that from other leaks, GF had been experimenting with improved performance on Switch 2 dev kits as of one of the earliest Indigo Disk leaks- circa Dec 2022 or early 23. However, I don't think they had the kit during early SV's development, as it started in 2019 or so after SwSh ended development, and the Switch would only be 2 years old at the time- I think this is simply poor management and direction from people TRYING to get that BoTW look, but not wanting to update their tech or habits to properly accommodate it and not wanting to take their time with it. I think we all understand there was just a maelstrom of things going wrong for SV's development from the Pandemic, to trying to follow their same flawed release cycle, bad management, etc. It's a tired topic at the least.

As far as other things in the actual build, there does appear to be a... well, honestly? BETTER pop up menu for the bag and menu. It's stylized in a pretty unique way that feels nice and organic to the game vs the final product. The bag menu sort of overlays to the regular game like the finalized start menu does, but cleaner.

I can only guess this was changed because it affected performance somehow- perhaps related to the game's strange habit of being lit up when the battle menu appears in the final product, or maybe just another slow down like usual. It's too bad, it looks really good.

Between the bag and the lighting system, I hope both come back for gen 10. There's serious promise behind both.

As for anything else worth noting- like the LA beta, the SV beta has a lot of unfinished areas, nothing really worth noting on that angle.

But picnics- those loaded way quicker before, despite the game running slower on emulator. And sandwiches? Well, they were planned back then, too. It does appear to be an earlier build, as the guy was somehow tossing eggs from UNDER the sandwich to the bun, and underhand throwing the top bun on top instead of the finalized orbital drop method we have for both.

The only other things worth noting is that the player had a Lucario and Staraptor on their team (the Lucario is interesting considering Unovan Zoroark was in the Beta LA build). However the menu displays other things instead, such as Charizard (of fucking course), Poliwrath (not available in game until Teal Mask), MUDKIP (wouldn't be added in until ID dropped), and Nidoqueen- who isn't available in the final game AT ALL. Of course, these are just menu sprites and none of these actually appear in the videos- in fact, other than the creepy blacked out Koraidon, Staraptor, Lucario, and I think Staravia flying around, I don't think there was a SINGLE other Pokemon visible in the overworld.

Oh, and it does appear that the initial uniforms were planned very early, as the blacked out model matches the overall shape. Personal note- I hope they got that out of their systems. I hated it so much, and it was probably another time saving measure planned from the beginning.

Final thoughts: it's interesting hoe the beta build seems to be Scarlet- idk if there's one for Violet specifically, but looking on it, a lot makes more sense from a Paradox design and story angle if you just assume Scarlet is the canon game. It's easy to think of how a Great Tusk can kill a man in Area Zero 200 years ago, not quite how a robot could- and the final explanation certainly doesn't provide satisfactory explanation as to how it arrived there before the time machine was built.

As for appearance: Some of this makes me remember an official game freak reveal of early SV at Game Freak's CEDEC 2023

And this is officially revealed info. The Snorlax is definitely photoshopped in, but the shading and rock textures look a lot like this beta build. It does look better than the final build, there's no real arguing with that.

Again, I'm hoping whoever in charge thqt needed to learn a few lessons DID, because some devs were clearly TRYING to make some ambitious ideas work but just couldn't on the time alotted or the programs used. I think I heard they wanted to transition to Unity or Unreal for the next games anyway, so maybe programming it will be easier going forward and we can finally achieve these graphics they wanted. Probably not with ZA, but it'd be a nice surprise for Gen 10 or something.

That's all. Have a nice day

#pokemon #pokemon leaks #legends Arceus #pokemon scarlet and violet

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headfullof-ideas · 5 months ago

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Something a little different here. I’ve been working on various stuff for the story, like redesigns, actual chapters, timeline plots, Headcanon and storyboard doodles, and other stuff. I’ve also been trying to figure out that future stuff, with the Next Gen stuff, trying to figure out what story I’d tell if I even decide to, what the kids would look like, and all that jazz. While scrolling through Pinterest I found a Draw the Squad, and immediately thought of some of the existing kids that I’ve already designed and developed…and so procrastinated on all of the actual story stuff I was in the literal middle of doing to draw that instead.

Some of them are a little wonky, as I kinda rushed it, but these are the next generation of Nekton kids that i’ve spent nearly the entire time I’ve been into The Deep designing and developing as characters. They’ve gone through a lot of concepts and variations, but this is what I’ve permanently settled on. I’m posting this merely to see if anyone is interested in learning about them, as I’m still a little on the fence due to teasing about actually going through with writing a Next Gen installment of the story(that I haven’t even FINISHED yet). I kinda don’t wanna say which Nekton sibling each kiddo belongs to, as I kinda want people to guess

Also some closeups

#the kiddos in the middle are not the BEST drawings of them that I’ve done #but im too lazy to fix them #I’ve had concepts of the other riders kids floating in my head #and even non-rider characters kids like the Berkian teens #more so with Dogsbreath anyways #but I haven’t actually drawn any of them yet #I’ve also got the pirate kids too #well #all but one #that kid keeps evading me with his design I just can’t nail it #if anyone’s interested in those kiddos #ill probably post stuff about them on Ao3 too for anyone interested over there #and i should have another redesign done either later today or tomorrow #draw the squad #the deep 2015 #the deep cartoon #ant nekton #antaeus nekton #fontaine nekton #except it’s not them it’s their kids #i find it kinda funny to myself that I posted Fontaines kids #before i posted anything about the golden retriever personification OC that she ends up with

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oleanderblume · 1 year ago

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I find it incredibly interesting and absolutely buck wild that the criticism surrounding an independent animation studio's works are directed entirely at the singular creator, as though the entire entertainment industry and medium itself is not a constant collective and collaborative effort of multiple writers, storyboard artists, animators, and studio heads.

Instead, it's just one specific person who is horrible and awful for creating whatever it is they make and how it is received by a seemingly very small minority holding a megaphone to everyone’s fucking ear canal.

Half the criticisms are entirely baseless and lacking nuance, too. Which is interesting. Its like they just hate this one person for being successful and breaking into an incredibly gatekept industry as an independent artist and studio.

Like no one in that group is capable of understanding just how groundbreaking and historical it is for an independent studio to garner this amount of success in this era of entertainment.

Or understanding the limitations put on independent studios that are carving out the future of the entertainment industry.

Of course viewership of a nearly entirely crowdfunded passion project being released once every few months is going to feel as though the pacing is slower, or as though the story isn't being laid out as clearly.

It's being released episodically once every few months.

And of course a series created by the same studio being overseen by a massive corporate streaming service beholden to shareholders and major studio mandates is going to feel rushed and dramatically different from the aforementioned passion project.

It is being overseen by the exact same kinds of corporate business practice that forces writers and creators of entertainment to work in sharp deadlines with no guarantee of continuation.

Like. Yes, have criticism. But be cognizant of the drastically different influences that exist in these two avenues of entertainment and production. And be aware, at the very least, of basic media literacy and competency.

One of those shows is clearly an episodic character driven drama, while the other is specifically plot driven. They are going to manifest different methods of storytelling because they are different stories and might i remind you, one of them is overseen by a corporate entity with the ability to just cancel its "investment" on a whim.

I think it speaks very loudly to the state of consumerism in our current age, and the way audiences receive art. It is no longer art but "content" and we must only consume "content" which is "morally pure" in every possible way.

But criticism can't be given to the corporations in control of that decimination of "content" one one person is to blame, is at fault.

Anyways. Just my observation. Interesting.

#hazbin hotel #i just want people to stop and think about how fucking groundbreaking it is for completely indie and crowdfunded animation has broken #through the glass ceiling of the entertainment industry with equally groundbreaking representation #but i guess it's more important to focus on how much you don't like the creator that how sorry a state our entertainment industry is in #to be too upset about one of the coolest things in entertainment history than like...why this whole event is and should be making history #its especially ironic in the era of entertainment labor strikes.

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cat-mermaid · 7 months ago

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I have a Rescuers Down Under theory that I've been sitting on for over 10 years

I want you to watch that movie if you haven't in a while, do you notice something odd about how the main characters, the little boy and the mice, interact?

No?

So for those who don't know, the movie is about two mice who go to Australia to save a little boy and an endangered eagle from a poacher

The mice (and some third guy) spend the whole movie trying to get to this boy

The boy spends the whole movie in the clutches of this poacher, who is using him to catch the eagle

If I were to make two edits of this movie-

-one with only the mice (and some third guy) scenes and no cuts back to what the boy is doing,

-and one with only the boy/eagle scenes with no cuts back to what the mice and the third guy are up to,

-up until the point where the two plots finally meet up and the movie proceeds like the theatrical release,

-they would each seem like their own self contained movies.

(also don't talk to me about the albatross being tortured in the hospital side plot thats just filler and not relevant)

57 minutes into this hour and 17 minute film, the mice and the third guy meet up with the kid. They go "we're here to rescue you!" and the kid simply asks who are you then immediate whips away to yell at the eagle about stuff

He then for the rest of the move proceeds to say nothing to the mice and the third guy, only visually reacting to the things they say and speaking only to the eagle

And at the very end of the film when he, the mice, and the third guy are flying away on the eagle, the boy speaks one last time to his eagle friend but does not acknowledge the mice/third guy or what they have done for him

He never says their names

not once

Friends and Neighbors, I propose to you the following:

Rescuers Down Under was originally a film about a boy named Cody, who goes out and rescues animals from traps, who makes friendz with a giant endangered eagle and then has to figure out how to escape from and defeat a poacher who wants to kill his friend

along the way he teams up with other animals captured by the poacher

with their help, together they thwart the poacher and save the eagle and her eggs

thats it

that was the original movie

it was created to capitalize on two big trends at the time in the 80s: 🐨AUSTRALIA🦘 and ENVIRONMENTALISM🌏

and it was so far along in the production that they even had the dialog all recorded

BUT THEN

at some point during, someone decided hey um shit its the disney animation dark ages and no one is going to our movies, and this kidnaped kid story is a lot like that original Rescuers that came out like 15 years ago or who cares so TURN IT INTO A SEQUEL 2 THAT because Rescuers is our most successful animated film in FOREVER GODAMMIT EVERYTHING ELSE SINCE TANKED AT THE BOX OFFICE

and they fucking rushed and did just that, and then frankensteined the the new Rescuers plot line into the main plot, cleverly keeping the Rescuers (and the third guy) from getting to the damn kid untill almost the very end.

⭐AND AND AND⭐

Because there is so much action going on and no time to stop and chat or anything, they gracefully avoid either characters from having to have a back and forth conversation

that part where they first meet and the kid says "who are you"? Lifted from earlier in the movie when he was talking to all of these guys:

In fact anything that sounds remotely like he might be communicating to the mice or the third guy? These were lines meant to be spoken to the captured animals, who were originally aiding him instead of the Rescuers. I would bet cash money there is a shit ton of cut audio and storyboards somewhere with the caught animals in the climax of the film instead of the Rescuers/guy number 3

In fact I'm dead sure they were supposed to be a huge part of the movie, they got so much screen time, all got introductions and had their individual personalities established and then they and the kid all worked together in this one scene-

-establishing that they can all work together as a team and overcome adversity via cleverness and ingenuity

but then once the poacher comes for the kid and takes him away to go after the eagle? We never see them again or find out what happened to them. Doesn't that strike you as odd? To give these random characters so much precious screen time and then just have them never show up again?

The scene after this shows that the mice/that hopping mouse trying to cuck the other mouse got into the poacher's truck to follow after Cody. Wouldn't it have made sense originally for the captured animals to have stowed away on the truck so they could follow along and help? Just say'in

(also the implication is that with the poacher dead and the kid/mice not indicating to the audience that they're going back to rescue the animals, the animals are going to starve to death. I mean you could argue that its been established they're capable of escaping buuuuuut its a strange story choice to just leave that plot thread unresolved. Its almost like it would all make sense if the animals whole last act was cut out😏😉)

anywayz

Wow this sounds like a huge pain I hear you thinking was it really that hard to be able to go back and get that kid to record like a few more lines with the VA's of the mice?

christ it must have been if they were forced to finish the movie like this

yet another piece of evidence to my theory is the very end, that long still shot of the side of the cliff where that albatross was hiding with the eagle eggs

barely any animation, just his tiny silhouette moving and him talking the whole time

As someone who has watched a lot of animation and seen a lot of weird decisions made because of the constraints of the budget, it smacks not as a fun idea for a scene but out of a OH FUCK WE HAVE TO RESOLVE THAT THING WITH THE EGGS AND THAT STUPID BIRD AND WE CAN'T USE THE ORIGINAL SCENE WE HAD PLANNED BECAUSE IT ONLY FEATURED THE KID AND EAGLE/THOSE OTHER ANIMALS AND WE CAN'T HAVE HIM AND THE MICE AND THE THIRD GUY TALKING AND WE HAVE TO END THIS MOVIE kind of desperation

so anyways thank you all for coming to my ted talk and remember that this is just my fun crackpot tinfoil hat theory I only take half seriously

BUT WAT IF

#the rescuers #the rescuers down under #disney #disney movies #animation #theory #disney animation #australia #movie theory

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nexturlsart · 2 months ago

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How I draw my short fancomic

A/N: This is not a tutorial or anything like that, just a little post where I look back my own process, celebrate my small success and be hopeful about the future. The comic in question, of course, is that House of the Dragon fan comic.

Forgive my spelling, English is not my first language.

I started drawing HOTD fan comic in July due to my hyperfixation as the show came out. We humans are all natural borned storyteller, but it's quite hard when it comes to telling a story with pictures. I have seen many examples of disconnected comic pages, that's what I fear the most. To learn everything I need about making comic, I searched educational videos on Youtube and listen to them while increase my drawing skills by sketching everyday. One of my favourites is Tim Mcburnie's channel.

I actually had a lot of ideas for this one comic, most of them are depressed. It's because in the show, I don't feel like Aegon, Helaena and Aemond have good relationships. But in the end, I chose the most fluffy idea to draw. I soon realized it's very easy for me to hurt a character's feeling, but I struggled to pull them out of despair or give that angsty story a meaning.

I finished the first storyboard in two days or so. In that time, I just focused on the flow and tried to find the best way to adapt my script, which I had written before. This might be the best part for me to work on, just pure creative work.

After that, I drew another storyboard that was more detailed and easier to understand on Ibis Paint. I added two pages so it wouldn't feel rushed. When I was sure that everything is okay, I started sketching properly, lining and then shading. That is the most time consuming part of this process. Sketching every panel alone took one month. I spent fifteen days lining, and fifteen days rendering. But now thinking back, I could have done it more quickly if I had study art fundamentals carefully, especially the background parts.

Minh Nhat, a friend of mine, had to sketch out gridlines for me to draw buildings and trees in. Without them, I would have messed everything up. And I was so lucky that when I asked everyone out on an Aegond group chat, Sylva agreed to help me translating my script.

This is the private script that I used to track my drawing speed. It has overall page description, characters lines and my notes.

While drawing, I have doubt myself multiple times. Drawing and studying in the same time is very stressful to me. When I don't study, I have to draw, otherwise I won't be able to make it. Somehow I lost a lot of followers online and I thought that people wouldn't like my comic because it was too personal, not to mention my art is not that good. There are so many artists younger than me that are doing way better than me. I know drawing is essentially for yourself, but it's hard to deny that I would feel encouraged when people read my comic more than they don't. Luckily, I have received so many heartwarming comments from people I admire in the end. I was very happy and even feel more confident about my skills, although I knew I still have to practice a lot.

After finishing, I feel like it was kind of funny that I can't print this comic out because of my poor layout, but neither did it really suitable to read online. I have discovered comic layout in Medibang so I guess I wouldn't make that mistake again.

Now that I have to study for semester exams, I currently can't invest that much time in drawing anymore. But I still have plans to draw comic in the future and next year, if possible, I would like to join a convention. If you have any idea of merchandise or comic, just tell me right here, I might draw them if I can.

#house of the dragon #journal #artists on tumblr #comic #step by step

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geekgemsspooksandtoons · 2 years ago

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My review of John Logan’s Bioshock movie script

Heavy spoilers concerning the first Bioshock game, and the script that I’m finally going to review. This took a while to make. It’s long.

I’m going to be honest with you all. I wanted to reread the entire thing. But as I read it, I started to rush through Steinman’s part and to Rudy’s introduction. I have read this script possibly countless times or just a lot. I know what happens, and I have read little details. There’s really no need to waste time reading more of it. But its best to just speak about it. This will be spoiler heavy about the script. If you’ve played the games, that’s okay. But again, just a heads up as I will have a keep reading option.

John Logan was the one in charge of writing the script for Gore Verbinski’s Bioshock movie back in the day. It was expected to be released in 2010, but due to complications such as the budget and the hard R rating, and the “Great recession” whatever happened and Universal not wanting to put out a big budget R rated film that would flop because Watchmen had flopped. There was a change in director, Gore was merely producing, and while the film was 8 weeks from shooting. It was Ken Levine who cancelled the project.

There are pieces of concept art and storyboards online to see. And Gore Verbinski has said there is all kinds of crazy stuff in pre-production. Such as literal screen tests (I REALLY want to see those) and whatever else. And I would like to mention considering those concept arts and storyboards (I wished there was more of them hopefully) that pretty much confirms to me that this script is ACTUALLY REAL. I hope, but that’s me overthinking it. Because the concept art showcases details that highly reference what happens in the script, even the one leaked storyboard.

I’ll get to talking about the script soon. Despite I’m not in the fandom as much. I love Bioshock. Particularly the first two games, and this franchise I guess helped me through 2020. I have drawn and written stuff for it. While I may not be as active as I used to be. And my opinions have changed over time. The Bioshock franchise is still one of my all-time favorite video game series.

A movie has always interested me. And when reading this about a year ago or so, I felt like I had closure after I had read this script I kept reading about. And while I had an EXTREME reaction at first to it...I want to make a detailed review of it. My own personal thoughts about it...and why it wouldn’t have worked as a film.

I’m going to review it as best as I can. Because while I have read articles talking about it. I don’t think I’ve seen a review talking about how it works and...whatever else. I’m going to say some things that may bother fans. This is all my opinion.

This is my review of the script as a fan of Bioshock, as a gamer, and as a person who loves/likes movies.

1. To be honest, I think Gore Verbinski is an excellent choice. I liked his Pirates of the Carribean work. And his visual style would’ve been so fitting for this series. I can understand why they hired him, and I think it was technically a passion project for him (I could be wrong though because he was saddened he couldn’t finish it. He had a vision, and he went to Ken Levine for advice. Despite how I feel about that...

The scene for the introduction of the Flying Dutchman in Dead Man’s Chest...I don’t want to sound weird. That is just perfect, and I can only imagine or well, that tone or just that work...Gore can do that horror/thriller aspect. Both in tone and visually.

Again, Gore is a director I like. But...the script John Logan wrote...and John Logan doesn’t seem like a bad writer. He seems to have written fantastic work.

I do think I was kind of harsh saying John didn’t understand the source material he was given. He was hired to literally write a script of story that...took a video game to tell it in a longer fashion...but it’s just some of the choices he made. And...fuck it. He does his best and you have to commend him for doing that. Yet...that’s also one of the reasons why I don’t like this script. Or why I seem to be on Filmento’s side that...you can’t repeat the first game. You can’t do the twist, and whatever else advice Filmento says. Whatever opinions you have about him...I think he’s right.

2. The script is 112 pages long. And as I’ve learned from Marcus Nispel, the director of the 2003 remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and the 2009 Friday the 13th reboot. In his documentary of the deleted scenes for the 2003 remake of TCM. He said every page equals one minute. While I question if that’s true for every film, I’m no filmmaker. But if I take into consideration with Bioshock’s script...

The film would’ve been maybe 112 minutes long. And they were going to use the WYK twist in this movie that would’ve been an hour and fifty-two minutes...that is rushed. And the script shows that. But this isn’t just about that. It’s about...the structure and plotting of the story.

3. The script again, would’ve used the famous, “Would you kindly” twist from the game. Where the reveal where Jack was being controlled the entire time and Ryan reveals that. And Atlas had been using Jack that entire time. Along with the other twist that Fontaine is actually Atlas.

What makes that twist so impactful, however you feel about it. It works so much because you are in a video game. And you have an entire game worth of hours of playtime, finding clues, seeing the hints about it. And it fits the game’s main themes about choice, especially with the ending. Where your actions determine the kind of person Jack will become if you harvest a single Little Sister, or none at all.

Even if the game has been talked to death, especially about this certain moment. It was a big deal and still is. But here’s the issue of trying to incorporate this twist into a movie...

IT DOESN’T FIT.

Listen, I get twists like this have happened before in films and shows before. But what made the WYK twist so powerful was the fact the player played the game. And they realized their main goal was technically and their agency was taken advantage of.

You’re not simply just an avatar for the player. But you are also a person, Ryan’s literal son who was legit bred and experimented on for one goal in life, and that’s to kill Andrew Ryan himself. Jack’s blood is the reason why the bathysphere in the lighthouse even works when they are all shut down. It’s the reason why Jack is able to survive multiple does of ADAM and possibly not become a Splicer. He’s not just a sleeper agent, he’s literally a killing machine. The man is a literal super soldier in a similar vein such as Halo’s Master Chief and Doomguy. Even if Jack was brainwashed, the dude’s a fucking badass. And he’s technically “Immortal” if the vita chambers remain on.

It's what makes Ryan’s “Suicide” haunting as he literally proves a point that you are nothing but a “Slave” at that moment in the story. It’s basically Ryan telling Jack, “Fuck you” to the player and Jack himself. Especially with the last few lines he says as he is beaten to death.

But this works in a video game fashion where you can find this information or whatever else, and it works for gameplay. Yet in this...you’d have to be a fan to understand some of that because some of the changes made in the script...it’s interesting.

Again, the point being the twist works so much is because it’s a video game where the player is supposed to have agency. But when they find out they were helping one of the main villains. It comes as a literal shock. When putting that in a film or a book, it’s not as effective. Especially with the hints and...the script’s obvious ways of showcasing something is going to happen.

Basically, it works so well because again, the twist works for a video game. Because in video games unless you read a manual or discover more details, you don’t question your orders and all that crap. But in a film where you aren’t controlling the characters...it doesn’t work.

It also raises certain questions like moments in the original game. At least with the original game with certain theories and you can understand why Atlas doesn’t say “Would you kindly” consistently. Because there’s “Sane” people around and other crap people talk about. But in the film, it makes me think or maybe I’m just a sick bastard.

In scenes where Atlas is with Jack the first time, and whatever else. Why doesn’t he just tell Jack, “Would you kindly” when handling a gun, and instead of trying to act like a normal person? Or the fact...in fact...this relates to other stuff that bothers me.

The fact instead of being on a radio and he’s in person, he can easily control Jack easier or just...I want to get to the next part. He’s literally having to drag his ass after Jack’s ear gets bitten off and all that shit. When he could easily just order him to keep pushing forward.

4. This is merely something that bothers me, or it's something I feel that’s...kind of almost excluded from the script. I get you can’t explain everything right away. But what made Bioshock such an amazing game is that the city was technically a “Character” in itself. Despite we see the aftermath of the Rapture Civil War. You have audio diaries by characters that tell the story of how it came to be.

I get having to shorten it and...one of the major themes of why Rapture fail was the fact Ryan built the city upon a flawed foundation. The “Objectivism” point of view where he pretty much explains it. People can do whatever they want without consequences. Rapture failed like places on the surface because Ryan didn’t address those concerns, such as unregulated businesses becoming corrupt, immoral experiments, and the discovery of ADAM made it worse. It sped up the process.

You even have characters like Fontaine and Sofia Lamb, even Sinclair and Bill McDonough who realized this shit was getting bad. There are other things that explain this better. But basically, don’t a be a shitty person, there’s no problem with having rules, and the so called “Paradise” was built on a selfish or...flawed ideology. Where the poor were treated like shit, and the rich could do whatever they want. Especially with Capitalism still involved...it’s a major theme of the game.

What bothers me about the script is...Rudy quickly explaining there was a civil war. And at the end with Brigid mentioning Rapture was a “Controlled experiment” and mentioning the true potential of men is “Evil” and Atlas talking about the ultimate realization of the human animal. And I’m sorry, I just dislike this simple mention of Atlas starting a resistance, and Rudy’s movie references and suggesting who to play who in a possible film about Rapture. There is still mentions of Atlas bringing things from the surface.

To be honest, I’m glad the theme of “Choice” is still involved. Because in a film, that can still work like something in Spider-Man 2. Where the whole conflict is Peter Parker having the choose between living a normal life or continue being Spider-Man. It’s a theme that can work if handled right...but not with the WYK twist. And somehow, it can still be intervened with the whole theme of why Rapture fell. Because like in words of Andrew Ryan himself.

“We all make choices. But in the end, our choices make us.”

Because yeah, that can still work. Actions speak when concerning characters. But back to the point...I’ve seen someone on a Bioshock Discord say the message sounds like a “Chosen one/breaking free narrative just screams generic empowerment for that 18-35 male target audience” and the fact...Bioshock has many themes concerning its story.

Such as the fact the game’s ending is dependent of what the player does. Do you want to be better than Ryan and Fontaine by not becoming power hungry and start a normal life with a group of Little Sisters? Or do you become as bad or worse than them, maybe starting a war with the surface and whatever else?

Again, or so, the main themes are there of how extreme ideologies can destroy a city if there aren’t any rules or any empathy. Because when you don’t have that, the consequences are horrible. And you have characters like Ryan, Fontaine, and others that showcase that when they are well...really shitty people in control.

And that brings me to the ending for the script.

5. You know, when I heard this ending was going to be “Darker” than the bad ending in the original game. And hearing Gore wanted to blend both the good and bad ending if I recall right. Along with what Jack does in the end...this is what I imagined.

Because of how this script before I read it, they kept saying it was REALLY dark. And I had imagined the ending to be depressing. The idea of Jack after he and the Little Sisters killing Atlas/Fontaine. That Jack, the Little Sisters, and Tenenbaum go into one of the bathyspheres to leave Rapture. But before they get to the surface, in a “Werewolf” like scenario. Jack sadly succumbs to becoming a Splicer, unable to control himself, kills Brigid and the children by beating them to death with his wrench. And when he gets to the surface at the lighthouse, he’s completely gone mad.

He’s so spliced up; he doesn’t know what to do. He’s no longer himself. He can’t go back to Rapture MAYBE. And now, he’s stuck on the island where the lighthouse is at. He’s going to die possibly of starvation or whatever else...and his story ends in a tragic ending where he sadly couldn’t stop his transformation and everything he had done was for nothing and how ADAM literally destroyed him mentally and physically. Almost like a person who is cursed to be a werewolf who kills a loved one, and they sadly couldn’t control themselves.

That is what I thought would happen when I read a tag saying Jack killing Tenenbaum and the Little Sisters in the end when he turns into a Splicer...

But no, it’s actually worse in context. Because throughout the whole story, Jack is pretty much a guy who understandably wants to get the fuck out of Rapture. He’s not a bad dude, yet for some reason, he takes...Atlas’ words to heart and...it’s literally just the bad ending. It’s almost a 360 turn because throughout most of the story, he understands right from wrong and...it’s just bullshit.

I get the story is dark. And I feel like because Gore took advice from Ken. Along with knowing Ken only wanted the bad ending to be canon but 2K didn’t want that. This feels like Ken also wanting his original vision still be seen. When in reality, I think the game having two different endings is great because it plays an important role in the themes of choice.

The ending here...I guess is just for shock value and I strangely would’ve preferred an ending where Jack dies giving his life or something so we wouldn’t have such an ending. Yeah, that’s depressing but alias...I’m not into the ending.

6. The characters and how they are written is what I’ve been wanting to talk about too. I want to admit that there’s nothing wrong with different characterizations. But I do think it depends on the character you are writing and how that characterization respects the original. Does it respect the character or not?

But the script’s interpretation of some characters...I think it's also me being annoyed by some pieces of dialogue. I’ll get to this point.

I HATE the idea to make Atlas and Fontaine not one person. I get it because of the runtime, but overtime, Fontaine IS Atlas. It’s just kind of weird to me because I guess it makes Atlas more interesting. It’s what makes Atlas stand out. Even though with this change, it does make it easy. But it makes me wonder about the lore in this script if...Atlas did well...he did smuggle shit into the city.

But what I hate is the mischaracterization of Atlas. His dialogue after the twist just doesn’t click with me. John could’ve written the direction with Atlas is that he put up a “Good guy” font in front of everyone when in reality he’s pretty fucking horrible. Yeah, you may not have, “Name’s Frank Fontaine” but at least have Atlas being a fucking bastard who knew Rapture would fall and taking advantage of it. Instead of, “We can be free again”, or “I’m free now. I’m the first man who has ever been free...I AM ADAM” and other pieces of his stupid dialogue in the final battle.

I fucking love Fontaine and his Bronx accent. Don’t judge me. I think I’m being nitpicky too. There’s also another thing I joked with my good buddy @atlas-slut-of-the-people long ago. And this concerns Jack’s...experimentation of becoming a sleeper agent. Did Atlas actually have a wife and child? Or was the woman and child on the sub just two random people?

Did he literally take Jack into his house, do experiments on him, and you have Moira going like, “ATLAS PLEASE SPEND TIME WITH ME AND PATRICK!” and Atlas is like, “Not now honey. I’m creating my own personal sleeper agent” as he forces little Jack to watch films of fake memories. Listen, I know Fontaine’s plan is fucking insane. But did Atlas need to do that? Did he speed up Jack’s age in this universe too? Or did Jack grow up naturally? No, no...some things aren’t explained.

Oh, I found out he did inject ADAM into him during his...experimentation...and there’s also the fact Jasmine is the “Baby carriage Splicer” and hinting that Jack was a baby...like...good lord...listen, I as a fan understand the lore and Jack’s life...

But this being left up in the air is just stupid. I also hate the fact that possibly Tenenbaum and Suchong aren’t involved in Jack’s creation. But that’s another thing. And there’s the fact whether I should call this good or bad that it confirms in the script Tenenbaum created the Big Daddies...I hate the Suchong erasure.

Let’s talk about Jack. Listen, I don’t hate Jack, I like him. And I love that on Tumblr, lots of people love the good ending and see him as a person. That’s absolutely great. Yet I will admit that...and this is likely just me being annoyed by the fandom. There is nothing wrong with head canons and all that or how you feel about characters. But I get tired of this fandom and it’s intriguing to a series that’s M rated...some of the fans try to act righteous. But I shouldn’t be the one to judge.

I just hate it when people act like their opinion is fact. But that’s not the main point, yet it kind of relates to what I’m going to say as Jack.

He is a character; he is a person. But in the end...he’s still technically the player’s avatar. And his choices are dependent on what the player does in the game. And the script’s interpretation of him is...something.

Fuck it, I’ll just get to it. The role of Jack as in the game can’t work in a film. You can’t have a character like that in a film unless...you did something different. A main protagonist, whether hero, villain, or whoever needs to have a goal, what is their motive? What keeps them going forward? You can’t have a character like Jack with just...listen, a part of me feels like the whole college graduation stuff isn’t worth it. Including the obvious hints to the upcoming twist.

Like, did Atlas put that shit into his memory? Considering shit like Jack’s dad mentioning a “Mr. Ryan” from New York, the visions of the ADAM syringe in the pool.

I have even called this Jack a “Bitch” or so...Jack’s original character can’t just be put into a different medium. Like...to me, he’s the one character in the franchise that NEEDS to be reinvented if you are going to use him in some way. Because the story of the “Ace in the Hole” is something that can’t be done in a film unless someone thinks of something crazy good.

I guess the only thing to say is that he lacks personality, you don’t have a reason to care for him unless you were already a fan of him. He’s a “Boring” and “Blank” protagonist you aren’t invested in.

Characterization is an issue with this script. Like...I felt like Tenenbaum and Ryan aren’t that bad. But some of Ryan’s dialogue at the end is a bit weird. A popular character like Sander Cohen is used for only one scene and quickly killed off. And the Big Daddy isn’t much of a character and...

There’s...nothing to be invested in. It sounds rough saying that. And you have the introduction of Rudy Pendergast. A character that...I strangely hate, but don’t. John could’ve seriously used a character like Bill McDonough or even Diane Mcclintock. But like Atlas-slut-of-the-people said. He’d probably would’ve made them evil somehow. And you have Steinman for one scene where Jack tries to ask him stuff.

You know, I’m also bothered by how my favorite character, Tenenbaum is saved for the end. I’m going to say what another person has said, the script feels so singular, particularly with its characters. The only person who gets an arc is Jack and everyone else is...there for his arc. I want to continue on.

But also, I get the intention with “Flower” the Little Sister Jack meets...again, despite it’s a fictional story and...you need to write characters instead of whatever. Yet okay, that scene with her and Jack is nice.

7. You know, I actually admire the direction to make this REALLY hard R. I feel like the type of grim violence I can compare this script’s is to films like Aliens vs Predator Requiem and the 2010 remake of The Wolfman. Despite their critical receptions, those films are fucking brutal. And considering the tone and violence of this script, it would’ve made it stand out. I’ve even called this script Bioshock Requiem due to how...tonally dark this is.

Particularly for scenes like Flower the Little Sister being brutally murdered by Rudy, and after that, Rudy getting fucking brutalized by a Big Daddy. Then you have baby carriage Jasmine getting ripped apart by a Spider Splicer in front of her own son. You even have the scene of Jack shooting the passengers and pilots aboard his airplane when he’s being brainwashed. Even the stewardess he was talking to earlier. Also, keep in mind when it mentions when Jack is on the plane, families were mentioned to be on there. So, it makes me wonder if Jack sadly...shot children. Glad it doesn’t make it explicit.

And you even have the one part I mentioned that sticks with me. That being the scene where the Football Splicer bits Jack’s ear off. Maybe his right ear, I forgot if it mentions it, I think it doesn’t. But I find it funny when thinking of some shit I write, I think of an idea where a character bites a character’s ear off...it just sticks with me.

Considering how violent and brutal the games are, it’s actually fitting. And I wonder if the violence serves a purpose...and it seems to because it really captures the unpredictability of the Splicers and even the brutal power of the Big Daddies. It sells it brilliantly, especially with the Splicers hurting each other, as they were once people that sadly lost their minds.

It really reinforces the horrific downfall of Rapture. Even though I still wonder if you could do more with it. But maybe that’s the point that the violence is so horrific and unforgiving because it could’ve been prevented in some way.

8. You know, the direction with Rapture in this script. The fake neighborhood, literal parks, a...ice cream truck is mentioned...it’s weird to me but unless it was shown in motion...it’s just interesting to read about parks in giant domes instead of places like Arcadia sadly and whatever else. There is the mention of “Olympus Height Tower” but...it’s weird not hearing other places and Fort Folic Club” being a small club or so...

Listen, I’m so used to Rapture in the first two games. That the idea of an ice cream truck, and the fake neighborhood, or even the mention one of the Splicers is a cop, and one being a magician. But I think with the magician seems like he could be from somewhere like Fort Folic. And the cop Splicer could’ve been someone who was trying to reinforce Ryan’s rule before going crazy.

This kind of relates to the themes. So, in this, did Ryan just not care or invite certain random people? Because this city unless I read it wrong, sounds like it’s more...streamlined than what was shown in the games. Unless I’m thinking differently. But the point being with what I’m saying Ryan preferred people that were rich, he didn’t care for the poor.

I think it’s time I finally finish this post. I’ve taken breaks when making it. This got really long, but hey, it’s a detailed review about a script I’ve read a lot. I’ve looked back at it when making this.

You know why The Last of Us on HBO worked? While it being a tv show helped it A LOT. But it's the fact while there were changes to help it and make its own thing...the story is pretty straight forward. The issue with a series like Bioshock, particularly the first two games is the layout of the stories. We’re talking about video games where you learn about characters through audio diaries, the emphasis on choices and endings that can be either canon. It’s only when Infinite, Burial at Sea, and Minerva’s Den are the ones that a story where player choice is heavily involved.

Hell, while I have my issues with Paramount Plus’s Halo tv series. The idea to make it its own thing and not being an exact adaptation is a fine idea. But the way it was handled, and as much as I want an adaptation of Combat Evolved and other things...you need to be careful. But seriously, Halo is a whole other discussion.

Video games are such a different medium and adapting certain games into movies or shows is difficult. And I agree with a YouTuber I respect, that being Filmento. Whatever you feel about him or so. I think for something like Bioshock...you can’t make an exact adaptation of that first game. And I think for the sake of this fanbase, you can’t make it within the canon of the games themselves.

The Bioshock film, especially the upcoming Netflix one needs to be hold its ground as a film. It’s the same thing as a comic book adaptation. Such as Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man trilogy or Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight trilogy. You cannot copy and paste a certain story unless there are certain changes. Which I think most people get that. But with Bioshock, considering how much this series is loved, I feel like more people need to understand that. Even for diehard fans, IT NEEDS TO HAPPEN.

This is why films like the Sonic films work, and even the recent Super Mario Bros Movie did well. And even a film like Rampage (2018) and talking about these three franchises is something else. But again, these four films work as films.

But you need to respect the source material, while making something new with the material. You make a movie with game elements as Filmento has said. Especially for a series like Bioshock. You can have a prequel show with Bill as the main character later on, and whatever else you want to do.

In a nutshell like with all films, make a story that general audiences can follow easily, characters they can get invested in, and again, take the best elements from all three games and develop something new that honors the legacy of those games. It’s weird I’m giving out this advice because I do still keep Filmento’s tweets of what to do with this film. It’s also because with how much I was critical of this script for a cancelled movie.

I’m hoping to God, and I worry what Francis Lawrence and Michael Green will do is just try to adapt that first game. When to me, this script proves you shouldn’t do that. Unless what they deliver changes my mind, just remember what I’ve talked about this script and what I criticized.

#bioshock #bioshock movie #bioshock netflix

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