#rude and easily angered too

[axvwriter]

Jaxon is a cool name but I'm possibly biased for names that sound 'sharp' and/or have like x, y, and z in them. Wait I'm totally biased for x considering my "X-Experiments". Six characters all named X basically and choose names for themselves starting with X.

Sorry I'm about to ramble but I just wanna share a bit about my process for naming characters

Not giving a character a name until you have all the details worked out actually sounds pretty smart. Bobo was originally a drawing I made of a little girl with a big hammer that loves sweets. Just a random design that I left sitting for the longest time until I decided she'd fit this princess character when I was reading some fanfiction (as I don't like to insert myself into x readers) and I misremembered the name as Bobo. The name for this random character design was Bebe. Then a few years later as I was contemplating trying out Twisted Wonderland is when I actually started to develop Bobo along with the idea of an underground mushroom kingdom.

But every now and then I feel slight anguish for choosing Bobo as her name. As not only does it feel a bit lame as a name for a princess, I can't help but think "Bobo the clown" along with the mental image of that person putting on a clown wig and makeup while looking sad. But I'm too attached to that being her name to try finding a better name.

When it comes to me picking names I have several different ways I go about it. Either a random name or a word that doesn't really exist comes to me. If I have an idea for a meaning behind the name I'll look up names that mean this word or that word but if that doesn't work then I might just look at a list of names starting with a letter that's starts the same as a meaning I wanted to get. Sometimes I just look through a list of names and their meanings for ideas. Though there are a few times where I'll take several words and mash them together to form a name. Usually just being meanings I want associated with the character, names with those meanings, or just a collection of names I like but I don't want to use any single one.

Though I think most of the time I design the visuals of the character then try to find a name, but I usually get ideas for the character while drawing them. Then there's a few times where I have the character spinning about in my head because I haven't gotten around to drawing them and sometimes just able to think of names for them since they're sitting there waiting anyway.

(Please don't ask for the fanfiction that made me think of Bobo in a princess role as 1. I don't recall the name but I think it was on Quotev? 2. I'm a bit embarrassed by it but you have to understand sometimes I look up certain fanfictions simply because I need to know if anyone has written any 'x reader' stuff for this or that character.)

Why did you choose the name Jaxon? Just because it sounded cool or a deeper reason?

-🪿

lmaoo this is going to reveal some of the horrors of my writing process but here we go!

So when I'm creating an oc they actually all start out with my name so in the beginning, Jaxon was actually Ryker. It's only until after the rest of the outline for the oc is finished (personality, backstory, role, etc.) that I finally choose a name for them. This is partially because I'm lazy, but it's also because then I get to choose a name that I think fits them well since I now have a better idea of what they're like

So when the time came that I wanted to share Jaxon on my blog, I scrolled though a list of 1,000 names until I found one I was satisfied with. I actually ended up liking the name Jaxon a lot and thought it fit him well, so that's the name I went with!

[yuujispinkhair]

Hockey player! Sukuna headcanons

Inspired by this lovely ask by @subarusuguru. You made my head spin with the idea of hockey player Sukuna!! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me! I had to write a little something 💗

Pairing: Hockey player!Sukuna x Reader (female) Genre: fluff + smut Word Count: 700 Warnings: 18+, smut, mentions of injuries, but nothing bad. All characters are of age. Divider by @/benkeibear

Hockey player!Sukuna, who is a devil on the ice. The rival teams always know they will have several injured players after each match against Sukuna. He has a very aggressive playstyle, and his speed and strength, combined with his quick mind, make him unstoppable.

Hockey player!Sukuna, whose maroon eyes always find you when he enters the ice. He winks at you and makes a kissy face, laughing when you blow him a kiss back. The whole hockey arena can know that you are his, and he is yours. And anyone who dares make a rude comment about him being so soft for his girl will receive a brutal body check that sends them facefirst onto the ice or into the boards.

Hockey player!Sukuna, who has a mad glint in his eyes during the whole match. He is ambitious and confident, and he always plays to win. He loves being an asshole and taunt his opponents, laughing when he can get under their skin with his snide comments. But no matter how much Sukuna riles them up, they still aren't able to stop him because he always puts his whole anger and strength into his game.

Hockey player!Sukuna, who is a completely different man when he goes on the ice with his princess. Treating you with so much care and being such a gentleman. He holds your hand to make sure you don't fall when he teaches you how to ice skate. And once he can see you are ready for the next step, he lets go of you and tells you to skate toward him to get a kiss.

Hockey player!Sukuna, who has so much fun when showing you how to play hockey. Your time on the ice is filled with playful fights and good-natured teasing comments that are so flirty that you get butterflies the whole time. His laugh sounds different too, happy and free, and he only uses his strength to pick you up and pin you against the boards so he can kiss you until you are breathless.

Hockey player!Sukuna, who grins that charming grin when he lets you score and praises you for being such a natural talent, even though you know you suck. Of course, Sukuna also has to show off a little in front of his girl, and he steals the puck from you easily, making you gasp at his speed and watch with wide eyes and a smitten expression on your face as your boyfriend skates across the ice and shoots the puck into the goal with so much force it almost rips the net.

Hockey player!Sukuna, who feels a proud buzz running through his veins anytime he sees you in his jersey. Somehow it drives him crazy to see you walking around with his last name on your back. It spurs him on to play even better and show you that he is worthy to be your man. Maybe he should buy a ring and give you his last name on your ID too, and not just on a jersey.

Hockey player!Sukuna, who loves to fuck you in the locker room after every match when his teammates have left. A victory fuck to celebrate when he is still pumped full of adrenaline and euphoria, pulling you onto his lap and bouncing you on his thick cock while groaning in your ear and telling you that it is all thanks to your love and support that makes him play so damn good. Or an angry fuck after a loss to make him feel ok again, lifting you up and slamming you against the shower wall, snapping his hips fast, fucking you hard and deep, growling your name when he cums in you and finds sweet relief in your warm cunt.

Hockey player!Sukuna, who can't stop smiling when you dote on him when he is injured after a rough match. He has a high pain tolerance and doesn't really worry all that much about the injuries, but he loves it when you take care of him and look at him with so much worry in your eyes. It makes him feel so warm, and so he happily plays along and lets you change his bandages, pet his hair, and cuddle him.

Hockey player!Sukuna, who loves to win, but who thinks his biggest victory was winning your heart.

I am so in love with him!! Thank you so much for sending me that prompt!! I hope you liked my little headcanons ;)

Comments and reblogs would be very sweet 💗

[genderqueerdykes]

here's to trans men with anger issues. here's to trans men who are loud or raise their voices without realizing, neurodivergent or otherwise. here's to trans men who get irritable or frustrated or impatient easily due to trauma, neurodivergence, mental illness, pain, or other disabilities, here's to trans men who can't take care of themselves, here's to trans men who can't stuff down their emotions, here's to trans men with violent intrusive thoughts, here's to trans men who snap without meaning to, here's to paranoid and psychotic trans men who become scared or hostile toward others without causing violence due to delusions and hallucinations, here's to trans men who struggle with homicidal ideation

here's to trans men who are bitter and angry and don't want to get better, here's to trans men who have tried to recover from trauma and have failed, here's to trans men who can't access proper mental health care because they aren't taken seriously, here's to trans men with mental health care trauma, here's to trans men who cope poorly with anger and hit inanimate objects and do "scary" things that don't actually hurt other people physically or emotionally.

here's to trans men with complicated mental health issues who need help but get insulted and called mean, rude, scary, shitty, assholes, dicks, jackasses and abusers. here's to trans men being human, too, and struggling with things just like anyone else. that doesn't make us evil, we are heavily traumatized by cisheteronormative society. here's to trans men who don't hurt other people but get told they do because people won't let men struggle with their emotions. i love you. you're loved. keep your chin up.

[st4rbwrry]

𝒩𝒪𝒪𝒦𝐼𝐸.

⸝⸝ ౨ৎ :: getou isn’t fond of the new gardener you hired who’s clearly flirting with you when he’s not home.

warnings ౨ৎ 2.7k. fem!reader, lowercase intended, cunninglingus/face riding, cottage core au? + getou’s a farmer, missionary in da kitchen, praising ofc, exhibitionism, jealousy, possessiveness, getou’s kinda rude, sub / dom dynamic, established relationship, rough play, m oral, impact play, unprotected, pet names ex. [ baby, sweetheart ], minors aren’t welcomed! comments and reblogs are appreciated! ♡

getou doesn’t appreciate that you aren’t greeting him with his usual kisses after you raise on your tippy toes to smooch him after he comes home from a long day of churning butter and tending to livestock. it doesn’t make him happy to know that you’re not tending to his attention and rather giving it to another man after he strolls through your large kitchen, that he built for you, to head into the back of your farmhouse to find you giggling and conversing with the new gardener. a gardener that you personally hired that he had yet to meet.

he could smell the pan of shepherds pie and cornbread in the oven, ignoring the way his stomach growls hungrily and it quickly being consumed with irritation. you’re wearing your cute pink apron with tiny patterns of sunflowers and bunnies as you hold a woven basket of freshly picked strawberries the man before you tossed into. having a conversation about fucking strawberries. he didn’t expect this man to be. . . of your type. tall, nice smile, good hair, makes you laugh a little too fucking hard. what about fruits could possibly be so fucking funny, [♡]?

“what a surprise,” getou’s voice is laced with annoyance, deep and causing the two to go silent as he makes his way down the steps to stand directly next to you. you blink, knowing your husband very well and easily you could tell he’s off.

“hi, baby! this is matteo, he’s our new gardener! we were talking a lot about the new setup i plan on having!” the smile on your face is pure, looking back and forth between getou and your gardener. “he just started today.”

“hey, man. nice to meet you. your wife told me all about you,” matteo remains professional, extending his hand for a handshake. you roll your lips in, waiting for your husband to comply with respect. it’s silent as you stare between both men, feeling the hairs on the back of your neck rise from anxiousness.

“mhm,” is all getou can say, matteo taken aback by his approach. it’s extremely rude, and you blink excessively to keep your composure. taking a deep breath, you form a tight lipped smile towards your gardener.

“excuse me for a moment,” you speak, side eyeing getou before pulling him to the side, matteo continuing his job by picking juicy fruits from their stems.

“what’s your deal? that was fucking rude,” you denounce, gawking up at him with a raised brow. getou folds his bulky arms, not understanding how you’re acting dumb right now. you knew this would piss him off.

getou leans down to get closer to you, lips inches from your ear. “who told you to hire somebody like this?"

"hire somebody like what?" the man retaliates, overhearing getou’s weak attempt of whispering to you, taking offense. regardless, he spoke on his name when he was right there.

getou turns his face only an inch or so, barely giving the man full attention. you swallow, his face nearly touching your own possessively, like an animal protecting it’s mate. getou then switches his eyes fully, intensely staring at the man. "like someone she'd fuck."

his immature response causes you to step away from him with a look of disgust, brows pinched with anger. you couldn’t believe his mouth. you’re not sure what the fuck’s gotten into him, but it wasn’t cute. quite frankly, he looked stupid.

“you’re making a fucking fool of yourself,” you spat, eyes burning. knocking your head back in the sweet gardeners direction, you hold your hand over your heart apologetically. “i am truly sorry for my husband’s rudeness. please forgive me for this, but i think it’s best if you go. i will give you a call tomorrow. i’m sorry again.”

the man nods only once, keeping his focus solely on you, not even bothering to glance in your husband’s direction. his possessiveness a black cloud over the party. “it’s not a problem at all. have a great rest of your day, ma’am.”

the minute your gardener is out of view, that’s when you give getou an irritated snarl, looking him up and down as if the man had no shame. which he didn’t, and that was the problem. “what is wrong with you?!”

getou intakes air as you strut away angrily, heading back into your kitchen to adapt into the ignoring him bubble and completely tuning into your dinner prepping. since you have freshly picked strawberries, you decided to start a mixture for muffins you could sell to the neighborhood tomorrow morning. a festival was being held at the ranch a few blocks down, already promising a few ladies you’d whip something up sweet.

getou follows behind, studying as you huff and puff to yourself while gathering eggs, milk and other things you needed.

“you didn’t answer my question.”

“because it’s fucking stupid. why’d i hire someone to help me out? oh my god, such a mystery.”

“you’re being immature.”

that causes you to stop all movements. holding onto the edges of the island and staring at him with disbelief, mouth actually drawn open as you scoff. “i’m immature? because you didn’t just disrespect that man for no reason. you know him or sum?”

“don’t act slow. you hired that man ‘cause he’s someone you can eye fuck when i’m not home. don’t pretend you don’t find him attractive,” getou grits his teeth.

you roll your eyes. “ohh, so it’s jealousy! why would i want to cheat on someone i’m in love with? you’re being extremely distrustful. take that shit out of my kitchen, suguru.”

“say that again,” he’s approaching you now, getou observing as you cross your arms and pretend to be unfazed by how much bigger he was compared to you. his bare feet thumps along the floor as he nears you, hands in the pockets of his dark washed jeans, shoulders broad as he stared down at you darkly. now your body’s pressed up against the kitchen counter, turning your head the opposite way to avoid eye contact.

“suguru,” you stand on what you say, uncaring. your husband deviously grins.

getou kisses his teeth smugly. you practically moan when his hand grips your jaw to bring your attention back, fingers denting into your cheeks to make your lips pout, head tilted back. “watch that mouth of yours. there’s no need to be bratty.”

teeth sinks into your lips he gawks at for a split second before meeting your eyes again. a feeble noise comes from you as he swiftly pulls up your white sundress, hands on the backs of your thighs to spread you open, fingers pulling your pussy open. not surprised to see you weren't wearing underwear. really, that pisses him off even further. it’s windy out and you were engaging in conversation with that man knowing your pussy was bare. he wants to laugh, seeing how wet you are already. fucking nympho. even though you’re mad, you can’t ignore how hot his touch makes you. you gulp, holding onto the edge of the counter as your gut flips after he crouched on one knee.

his breath hits your clit, and instantly your thighs tremble, getou slowly sticking his tongue out his mouth, wide, long, and slick with saliva. it hovers over your clit, barely touching it. part of you wants to grab his hair and shove him down, but the look in his eyes says not to try it. his fingers come up to your face, extending two of the long digits inside of your mouth. you suck obediently, moaning around them while rolling forward towards his, aching for it. his free hand smacks your inner thigh causing you to release his fingers and whimper, getou wasting zero time and curling them deep into you, shaking them frivolously as his lips suction on your clit, kissing your pussy deeply, using so much saliva.

his stare is hard on you the entire time, wrist moving instantaneously as he fucks you with them. he’s having a ball watching you wither and roll your hips, squealing and raising your thighs higher to your chest, listening to his fingers slam into you, that gushing sound of your pussy coating his fingers.

"c-can’t. . .”

"shut up," briskly, he pulls his fingers out and spanks your clit with them, standing to his feet, towering over you. you rest your head back against the wall by the window, shifting your body since your ass hurt a little from being on a granite countertop.

most of his words are blocked out as you watch the sexually pent-up man drag his pants down until they sit at his waist, pussy clenching at the dark pubic hairs sticking out, lust in your eyes as his veiny, big hand fists his cock. the thick vein leading up to the crown leaking precum makes you smile hazily.

"look at me when i’m talking to you."

you're too fucking mesmerized by him. his slightly dirty white tshirt is hiked up now, godly sculpted abs enticing you to run your fingers over them with a giddy laugh. getou tilts his head to the side, clenching his jaw.

"hey," he calls to you, snapping his fingers twice in your face, voice deeper than usual. you can see that he's not up for bullshit. he’s arched over you, hair sticking to his forehead as he places his right hand on your lower back, arching into him until your chest presses against his. "listen to me when i talk to you, woman.”

the smell of his skin is intoxicating, reaching your hands behind him to claw at his ass, open mouth on his chin, moaning as he slides deep into you, looking down at you with a groan escaping his throat, furrowing his thick brows. getou tries not to lose it, because despite his frustration, there's no way he could deny just how fucking good you felt pulling him deep right now. you hold tight, eyes hazy as he pounds into you without another word, arm stretching over to press his palm on the cabinet above, balancing himself and dragging you to meet him thrust for thrust.

"pussy so needy for me. it fuckin’ better be,” please shut up, is what you think. his voice is too damn addictive, and the way he fucks you, virulently, like he fucking despised you . . . you didn't know if you could take much more. the other half of your brain is the opposite, thanking him over and over.

"oh, look, princess. there’s your favorite man,” it doesn't register that the two of you are legit fucking near an open window where anyone could see. “let’s say hi, baby."

unsure why he came back, it only takes ten seconds for your sweet gardener to immediately be swept with trauma, catching a glimpse at the two of you, getou’s dark eyes burning into him while yours are shut to hide the embarrassment, stomach still flipping with rouse. his fingers has your jaw locked still to keep your fucked out face in the direction of the man who’s nothing short of unimpressed. tasteless, he thinks. wasting no time and turning away to hop back inside of his truck, only coming because he forgot to give you back the key to your garage. his lips are by your ear now. "looks like we’ll have to hire someone else.”

"you’re s-so . . . mean,” it’s the only thing you can think of, trembling and yanking your face out of his grasp. you wanna say you hate him, but deep down you knew this is what you've been craving all along. he’s exactly how you wanted him to be; lecherous. "fuck, can’t stand you.”

"you love me, sweetheart,” he coed, you hiccup. sobbing as he throws one of your legs over his arm, angling his hips slightly to the right and hitting into you faster, rolling your neck back, listening to how viscous his skin claps with your own, and his breath fans over your face.

"awe," he pouts, giving your forehead a chaste kiss. "y‘not gonna say it back?”

“d’nt deserve it,” you’re slurring your words and it pisses you off how dumb he makes you. his hand is around your neck now, choking you until you feel the blood rushing to your skull, luring the back of your own hand to your lips, using it as some sort of blockage for how loud you were being. louder than usual.

inching his lips towards yours, he studies how desperate you are to latch your lips with his, only for him to snatch them away. “then you don’t deserve my kiss.”

a frustrated whine leaves your throat, getou humming tauntingly, delicately skimming his bitten red lips over yours with a moan following along with a whispered ‘no’. tightening his lock around your neck, he rolls his hips deeper, your hand clutching his wrist with tears in your eyes. “not until you tell me you love me.”

you gently sink your teeth into the back of your hand, getou leaning closer before sloppily kissing at your palm where your lips rested, an evil stare painted his expression. he sucks, licks, and moans on your hand, knowing you were wishing he'd do that to your mouth instead. fuck, that was enough to get you to the breaking point. thighs trembling as you drop your mouth open, nothing coming out.

"wait, are you gonna cum?" his mouth upturns as he widens his eyes and mouth with fake surprise. "you’re cumming, aren't you? don’t cum. if you cum, i’ll stop."

"suguru, fucking stop—"

"stop what, huh? why you talkin' back?" shoving his thumb in your mouth, he fucks you harder, body jolting as your eyes roll back and your mouth drools, clutching his wrist harder to keep him there. "weren't you gonna cum?"

"yessss!" you wail, tears falling down your eyes. that coil in the pit of your stomach is ready to snap, getou’s sadistic voice ringing in your ears as he praises you, hips ramming harder to get you to break, clutching the back of his neck and screaming into his chest, giving him the answer he wants, riding the wave. "love you. love you.”

“good girl, good girl,” he proceeds to fuck you through it, just enough until you're pushing at his stomach to stop, kissing up the side of his neck drunkenly. getou slides out of you, holding back a moan before he's grabbing your hand and pulling you off the counter, holding your waist so you don't fall over.

"knees, now."

you're more than happy to lower to your knees, already knowing what to prepare for, lulled, teary eyes focusing on him and the slick coated cock stretching over your face. you hold onto the back of his thighs, widening your mouth and sticking your tongue out, getou holding your head still before gliding his dick inside the cave of heat now inundating him, jaw dropping, using the other hand to hold the cabinet once more and mercilessly fucking your throat. his moans are coarse, grunting and throwing his head back, hips stuttering as he holds you still and shoots deep in your mouth, cursing thousands of times he nearly filled the dictionary.

"swallow it and show me," and you do, without hesitation, sticking your tongue out proudly and it makes getou even prouder. "that’s my girl."

"whatever," you wipe the side of your mouth, getou lifting you off the floor, legs still too weak to function.

“there’s that mouth again, sweetheart. cut it short before i fuck you harder,” oh, he’s serious. that darkness in his eyes telling you not to try it again.

“s-sorry, baby. love you,” you give him those pretty doe eyes he falls weak to, rubbing your hands over his waist while placing your chin on his chest. batting your lashes innocently.

getou hums. “tell me that after you get rid of that fuckin’ gardener.”

© 𝒮𝒯𝟦𝑅𝐵𝒲𝑅𝑅𝒴! all rights reserved. please do not repost, steal, or modify my work simply because it is mine. stealing isn't cute. i'll ruin your life ♡

[galamalion]

୨୧. 𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐁𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐄

summary. luffy's relationship with hancock begins to strike a deep nerve within you.

⤷ contents. monkey d. luffy x gn!reader, fluff + angst, boa hancock is rude, jealous!reader, light angst (resolved by the end), slight miscommunication // wc. 2.1k

⤷ notes. request by @amortentiaz for a jealous!reader over luffy's relationship with boa hancock. i think i got a little too invested in writing reader's anger, maybe i should write some more angst... i hope you enjoy! <3

Your boyfriend wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed.

Was he caring? Of course, he cuddled and hugged and kissed you near constantly. Was he attentive? Easily, he always wanted to snuggle with you, no matter your location—even if it led to some unfortunate circumstances.

But he may just be the most scatterbrained boyfriend anyone could ask for, and your current situation was perhaps the best example of his obliviousness.

"Ah, Luffy! I have more food if you want it!"

"Really?! Thank you, Hancock!"

You and Luffy had gotten pulled off your ship by a terrible storm, only a small makeshift raft of wood to keep you afloat. A miracle had led you to land on Amazon Lily, an island led by a woman with a fixation for Luffy.

And so here you were, stuck watching the most beautiful woman in the world drape herself over your boyfriend like they'd been married for the last thirty years. Sure, your boyfriend was the greatest catch in the East Blue, but he was your boyfriend. Not Hancock's 'sweetie pie honey bun super-special pirate king.'

You had just finished talking with Jimbei through the snail transponder, who informed you that the ship would be there tomorrow in the morning. Unfortunately, that meant you would have to stay here.

"Alright, Luffy," you sighed, "The Thousand Sunny will be here in the morning, which means that we're stuck here for tonight."

"There's a room prepared for you in the palace if you need it, Luffy! I can have whatever you need brought there," Hancock swooned, feeding Luffy a drumstick.

"Ooh! Hey, is there anything you need, ____?" Luffy turned to ask, voice muffled by all the meat stuffed inside his mouth.

You looked behind Luffy to meet eyes with Hancock, watching her expression sour at the mention of your name.

"I think I'm fine. Thanks, Luf," you muttered, crossing your arms.

"Ok, but Hancock can bring us anything, so if you change your mind you can ask her!" he grinned, taking another large bite of the drumstick.

You sighed, briefly meeting eyes with Hancock who silently scoffed at your presence. Angrily, you stomped out of the palace and out of the town, going far, far away from the oh-so benevolent queen of the island.

As you walked into the expansive forest of the island, you began kicking a rock with each step, muttering under your breath.

"Oh Luffy, here's some yummy food!" you kicked the rock. "Oh Luffy, what dress do you think I should wear?" you kicked the rock. "Oh Luffy, you should break up and we should get married and have a bunch of tiny beautiful babies!"

You kicked the rock off the path, watching it roll off into underbrush and onto the grass floor of the forest.

"Go on then," you grumbled, "go get married to the prettiest girl in the world! then you can really be King of the Pirates..."

As you walked further into the tropical forest of the island, you came upon a rocky cliff, a beautiful location covered in small plants and light foliage. Rocks jutting out harshly in every which way, moss growing upon it, unbothered and untouched.

This is just what you need.

You stepped up to the edge of the cliff and gazed at the forest below, wild and vibrant green hues filling up every space you looked at. The sky was similar, a brilliant cloudless blue, like a calm blue sea without a boat in sight. You could stare at this serene scene for all of eternity, if only time allowed.

Sighing wistfully, you closed your eyes and stretched your body, taking a deep breath.

And then, you screamed.

You screamed at nothing and everything, all at once. At Hancock and Luffy, together, singularly, at their actions, at their attitudes. You shrieked at Hancock's cruel expressions, her blatant disregard for your own feelings. You screeched at Luffy's oblivious disposition, his inability to realize how you felt about all of this. You screamed until your throat burned, until you could feel your eyes welling up with tears and your screams turned into sobs turned into silent crying.

Needless to say, it was a much needed catharsis.

You calmed yourself down and walked back to the bustling city, taking in the nature surrounding you. As you continued walking, a long, rubbery leg touched down onto the forest path. The leg was attached to your boyfriend, who jumped down from the trees with a bewildered and frightened expression on his face.

"Are you okay ____?!" I heard—"

"I'm fine," you snapped, brushing past him.

Luffy gave you a confused look as you walked towards the village, on your way to check out the room in the palace Hancock so graciously gave you.

It was placed right next door to Hancock's own chambers, no doubt because she wanted to keep Luffy close, but the interior was far more shocking. Instead of a giant king sized bed in the middle, two beds—one far bigger than the other—with a great deal of space separating them were inside. It was almost too obvious to tell which bed was Luffy's, given the amount of food and gift baskets surrounding it.

You were just shocked that she put you in Luffy in the same room.

Deciding it wasn't worth complaining about, you instead searched around the castle in search of a library, a place Luffy would never look for you.

It wasn't that you were mad at him. No, it would be more accurate to say that you were furious. But you knew deep inside your mind that it wasn't his fault. But you also knew that if you saw him again, you would blow up, explode, in his face.

You stayed in the library until midnight, reading fairy tales and historical texts, immersing yourself in the stories and history these books contained. You could feel the anger and jealousy in your veins dwindle with each page you read.

Once you had returned your amassed collection of books back to their shelves, you made your way back to your room. Expectations were low, you were fairly certain that Luffy wouldn't have a clue regarding your feelings, and a conversation would most certainly need to happen.

Walking quietly to your shared room, you carefully opened the door. the first thing you noticed was that Luffy was still awake, crouched in the middle of his bed. It wasn't strange for Luffy to be awake so late in the night, knowing that his sleep schedule was pretty irregular, but an unusually upset expression was etched into his face.

The second thing you noticed was that the delicious gifts surrounding his bed were uneaten, unopened, the wrapping on a few having not been touched.

Luffy noticed you immediately, the corners of his lips pulling down even further, his brow furrowed in a mixture of, seemingly, sadness and confusion, like a puppy watching their owner leave for the first time.

"Are you mad at me?" he blurted out quietly, clutching his knees.

All you could do was sigh in response, moving to sit on your own bed.

"I don't know," you confessed, looking away from him. "I'm...mad, yeah. But at you? I don't know."

Luffy remained quiet until you decided to break the silence.

"Hancock is pushy," you crossed your arms, "she's pushing my boundaries and she's pushing her way between us. I know she's a friend of yours and she's helped you a lot, but it hurts to watch her snuggle up to you and talk about the 'love' between you."

You looked up at Luffy, seeing the realization and hurt flood his eyes, his fingers twitching as his legs slid towards the edge of the bed.

He didn't say anything yet, instead squeezing the blankets and looking down at his feet, clearly composing his thoughts.

"I'm sorry, ____," Luffy whispered, standing up from the bed. "I know Hancock does nice things for me, but I don't see her like I see you,"

"Then why don't you tell her off? Tell her to leave you alone, tell her you're in a relationship?" you pushed, feeling the jealousy seething out of you.

Luffy frowned and walked closer to you, sitting down on your bed. "You're the greatest treasure I've ever found," he confessed, moving his hands to yours, "it's like you're so shiny and bright, and everybody else is all gray. I know Hancock talks a lot and gives me a lot of food, but if you don't want me to talk or take stuff from her, then I won't, promise!"

Despite your attempts to remain stoic, you were unable to disguise the twinge of a smile caused by Luffy's statement, choosing to nuzzle your face in his neck to hide.

"You don't have to ignore her, Luf. Just ask her to tone it down, maybe? She is the queen of this place. Even if I'm mad at her, I'd rather not piss off someone who can kill us with a snap of her fingers," you mumbled, playing with his vest.

Luffy gave you a big hug, wrapping his rubbery arms around once, and then twice. "If she tries to hurt you, then I'll stop her! You're way more awesome than her," Luffy declared with a pout, falling back into your tiny bed with you in his arms, "and I promise I'll be an extra awesome boyfriend for you."

"You're too sweet, Luf," you laughed softly, hugging him tighter. "But maybe we should move to the bigger bed?"

"I'm too tired, and I'm already comfy," he whined.

"Fine," you grumbled, too tired to argue with your much stronger boyfriend (and captain.)

"G'night, ____," Luffy hummed, pulling you closer to his chest.

You smiled, shutting your eyes, "Night, Luffy."

The morning seemed to come swiftly, light spilling into the room and striking your face. Your boyfriend was still wrapped around you like a vice, caging you tightly against his chest.

"Luffy," you groaned, trying to push him away, "you gotta let me go, it's time to get up,"

Luffy moaned and pressed his face to your chest, "Five more minutes, pretty please?"

"Jimbei said the ship would be here in the morning, the mor-ning, Luf. If we're late to meet them then Nami will beat our asses."

"Then I'll beat her up!"

"Then I'll have to dig your grave."

Luffy pouted and retracted his arms, crossing them, "Fine, we can go now."

Now free from you boyfriend's hold, you and Luffy changed your clothes for the new day, then exited the bedroom.

Immediately upon opening the door, you were greeted with the beautiful, illuminating face of Boa Hancock, who was clearly shocked and upset to see you exit with Luffy.

"Ah, Luffy! I just wanted to see if you wanted to have breakfast? I've had 60 eggs cooked and 30 plates of meat—"

"Sorry, Hancock!" Luffy interrupted, scooping you up and throwing you over his shoulder, "we've gotta go!"

"But—"

Without letting her get another word out, Luffy sprinted through the halls of the palace and out of an expansive window, stretching his way across the viridian forest below.

The sights below were familiar, but it was strange seeing them down below. You could make out the path you travelled through the leaves, even catching a glimpse of the cliff you had stood on last night, a horrible moment during a horrible day that seemed so far away now.

As Luffy jumped from tree to tree, occasionally breaking through the canopy to give you that bird's-eye view, you eventually landed at the gate to Amazon Lily, where the thousand sunny was currently floating.

"Hey, lovebirds!" Nami yelled up, waving her arms, "you're just in time! Let's get out of here!"

"Please, let me go! I need to get onto that island!" Sanji cried out, held in place by Robin's devil fruit-generated limbs.

Luffy let out a boisterous laugh, "We're comin' down! Let's go, ____!" he howled, sprinting towards the ledge.

You looked over your shoulder, fear in your eyes, "Luffy, don't you dare!"

Luffy, ignoring your pleas for a safer entrance, leapt onto the ship with a battle cry, landing perfectly on the wooden deck with you in hand. He gently set you down, flashing a grin as he patted your shoulder.

"Wasn't that fun?!" Luffy exclaimed, dusting off his straw hat.

You collapsed in shock, sprawling your limbs out on the deck as you recovered from your near-death situation.

"We'll...we'll work on that," you panted, desperately attempting to catch your breath.

"Sweet! Let's go now!" Luffy cheered, pulling you back up

"Go? Where?" you asked, astonished, "we just got back to the ship?"

"I told ya, I'm gonna be and extra super awesome boyfriend!" he beamed, "now we have to go do some extra super awesome stuff!"

He once again wrapped you up in his arms, flashing a smile as he hugged you.

"I promise I'm gonna be a way better boyfriend from now on, I won't disappoint you!" he beamed.

You smiled back and ruffled his hair, kissing his forehead.

"You're already the best boyfriend I could ask for, Luffy."

"But I can be better!"

"Better than best?"

"Best of the best!"

You threw you head back and laughed, squeezing him back.

"Alright, Luf. Show me what you have in mind."

[bouquetface]

Future Spouse Based on Nakshatra - Pt. Two

Please read the following for accuracy:

Check for which nakshatra of your dakarkaka.

You may want to check the nakshatra of your Venus (for wife) and Jupiter (for husband) as well.

You may want to read for your moon & AatmaKaaraka nakshatra to see if the traits apply to you.

DISCLAIMER: Keep in mind accuracy is influenced by the ENTIRE natal chart.

PUNARVASU:

General Neutral traits:

Big lips esp lower. Long face - Oval or Oblong. Doe eyes. Larger facial features generally.

Friendly - easily connect with others.

Nurturing. Patient. Quiet. Kind. Considerate.

Likely religious. Stick to their morals over money. Sometimes have traditional values & dreams for the future.

Good communicators.

Negative traits:

Modern society may harshly judge one’s disinterest in materialism. If the disinterest is extreme, this person can have periods of life where they seriously struggle financially.

Some may feel they are so caring that they become suffocating to loved ones.

ARDA:

General Neutral traits:

Bold eye colour. Pointy chin. Often, fit due to their job requiring physical activity (ex: lots of walking)

They can prefer physically working - they may have physical hobbies.

Good memory. Curious person - open to learning/exploring more.

Generally, an honest person.

Negative Traits:

They can be impolite. Or anti-social to a point where they sometimes appear rude.

Like to indulge - must watch for overspending/overindulging in bad foods or bad habits.

Spend early life only looking out for themselves. Later in life, they undergo transformation to change for the better. Become more compassionate and religious/spiritual after a traumatic event.

MULA:

General Neutral traits:

Often the most conventionally attractive in their family. Full lips. Small almond shaped eyes.

Clever. Good communicators.

Gain a good amount of wealth. Live comfortable.

Adventurous yet cautious.

Determined to reach their goals.

Negative traits:

Can be too focused on their goals. Neglect themselves and others until they see success. Others work and help is not always appreciated.

Self-destructive habits need to be broken. A few EXAMPLES: Stubborn to the point of being arrogant. Some have issues with lust & greed. Some have issues with anger.

MAGHA:

Full lips. Dramatic eyes - can have dark circles, bold eye colour or big eyes. May appear tired. Innocent looking.

Often well liked. Likes attention. Entertaining person. Funny, witty, good at conversation.

Optimistic. Generally, stays true to their word - reliable.

Generally, gains moderate to high levels of wealth.

Negative traits:

Hot temper. Prone to feeling jealous.

Ego can be a problem.

Subconscious superiority complex when born into wealthy family. When wealth is gained themselves, they feel still feel superior but not as arrogant.

SWATI:

General Neutral traits:

Large eyes. Innocent looking. Youthful appearance. Close set eyes are likely. Prominent chin.

Independent. Good morals. Honest. Disciplined

Friendly. Optimistic. Persuasive communication.

Negative traits:

Disinterested in their family origins. This can change later in life when they have their own family.

Must learn to not over indulge - over spend/overdo.

Prone to isolate themselves due to being focused on their own personal goals/desires.

CHITRA:

General Neutral traits:

Attractive. Commonly, have dimples. Prominent front teeth. Well groomed. Good style. Conventionally attractive.

Charismatic. Social. Independent.

Well educated. May not be formally. They may seek out good literature & art. They can enjoy philosophical ways of thinking.

Usually are a younger sibling or an only child.

Negative traits:

Vain. Can be overly worried about body and style. Can overthink in general.

Observant nature makes them very critical of everyone. Ego can be a problem.

Well known. But very few true friends. Many friends turn into enemies throughout their life.

Sometimes there can be issues related to fertility in these people’s lives.

PUSHYA:

General Neutral traits:

Prominent eyebrows. Medium to wide set eyes. Generally attractive. Unique looking.

Generally, likeable. Polite. Prone to over-talking, not listening. Intuitive. Intelligent. Helpful.

Generous & Compassionate. Stands up for people. Stands up for what they believe in.

Negative traits:

Sensitive. Often view themselves as a victim. Making it difficult to accept criticism & move forward in life.

Insecurities make them doubt their self worth.

UTTRA ASHADHA:

General Neutral traits:

Strong jawline. Often hooded eyes. Long nose.

Disciplined. Hardworking. High goals. Optimistic. Generally, appear modest.

Good communicator. Popular. Often gain respect&influence at a later age.

Confident. Independent.

Good in leadership roles. & interest in helping others - social causes.

Negative traits:

Over indulgent.

Prone to overthink/anxious.

Will experience relationship struggles - often many relationships before finding the correct person for them.

UTTARA BHADRA:

General traits:

Attractive. Ethereal look. Innocent look. Wide to medium set eyes. Sharp jawline. Thin to medium lip. Strong bone structure.

Deeply empathetic but may not express it.

Strong & silent type. Have the ability to control their emotions - will do what is best for the family. As a result, often benefit from other people's money & resources - ex: inheritance or gifts.

Disciplined & hardworking. As a result, make a good level of wealth.

Rational. Good at giving advice. Stays neutral.

Generous person - often have good karma, it said they will defeat any haters/enemies.

Negative traits:

Struggle to express oneself can leave one feeling lonely & isolated. Repressed emotions can lead to emotional outburst later in life.

May unintentionally create many enemies throughout their life.

ANURADHA:

General traits:

Bunny teeth. Tall & muscular. Innocent looking. Generally attractive.

Independent & Confident. Often feel a strong sense of purpose. Determined & hardworking.

Passionate & protective. May be married to their achieving their “purpose” though.

Often desire a partner that is similarly hardworking & passionate about their work/goals.

Negative traits:

Requires to learn balance in their life. Can be overindulgent - potential examples: can enjoy gambling or unhealthy foods.

May have a slight controlling & possessive nature.

Worry a lot. Could experience periods of having difficulty managing anxiety throughout their lives.

ASHWINI:

General traits:

Full cheeks - often have a baby face through their 20s. Cute. Bold eye colour. Youthful.

Idealistic. Independent.

Adventurous. Youthful energy. Humorous. Often joyful.

Nurturing nature. Deep love for family.

Does well financially. Action orientated.

Negative traits:

Vengeful. Doesn’t forget or truly ever forgive. Many relationships turn sour throughout their life.

Impulsive. Short tempered.

[deadsnakey]

𝐒𝐋𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐍 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐒 —> 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐎˚ᡴꪫ

๋࣭ ⭑⚝ fluff ೀ Headcanons. . .ᐟ 10k words 𐙚˙⋆.˚ ┈─★

˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

જ⁀➴ He has a lot of issues and anger, but he tries his best to control it around you.

જ⁀➴ has never raised his voice at you because of this.

જ⁀➴ I think he's all scary and intimidating, but once you get to know him, like know him, he's genuinely sweet and a decent person.

જ⁀➴ loves being around you, he feels comfortable enough to be himself around you and that's a privilege.

જ⁀➴ loves physical touch, knowing you're still with him is reassuring and grounding for him.

જ⁀➴ spoils the actual shit out of you dude, your complaints will be shushed with a soft kiss and soft eyes, "I love you, let me spoil you, okay?"

જ⁀➴ a bad boy on the streets a gentleman in the sheets.

જ⁀➴ his friends definitely remind him how gone and whipped he is for you on a weekly and he doesn't deny it, he knows and is fine with it.

જ⁀➴ if yes ever making you uncomfortable or doing sum you don't like, he stops immediately and never does/says it again. He'd hate for you to be uncomfortable let alone from him.

જ⁀➴ loves showing you off and will shamelessly do it, because you're a goddess why wouldn't he??

જ⁀➴ I think he's still learning the rights and wrongs while dating you so just put his ass in line and he'll immediately straighten up and act right.

જ⁀➴ he's your bitch, you're his girl.

જ⁀➴ he'll let you boss him around as long as youre happy but God forbid someone else tries to boss him around and they gone (to the hospital wing..lol)

જ⁀➴ will happily watch you get ready even if it's just to go on a walk or to grab a few snacks n stuff from the store or wtvr, will gladly help with wtvr if you ask him too.

જ⁀➴ teased you a lot especially if you get flustered easily butttt knows when to stop and to not take it too far.

જ⁀➴ also he tries only doing it in private or if it's just you two somewhere bc he doesn't want someone else thinking they can also tease you, friends or not.

જ⁀➴ hatesss the thought of losing you, definitely has nightmares and needs to either be held by you or hold you, it just depends how bad it is.

જ⁀➴ feeds you so much, he ain't letting his girl go hungry ever, not on his watch. He'll happily give you his food if you're still hungry or felt like you didn't eat enough.

જ⁀➴ ass man.

જ⁀➴ his and your friends are so nauseous whenever they see you two together because y'all are so sickening In love it's gross. (Don't get fooled they think it's cute.)

જ⁀➴ so soft and clingy in the mornings omfg, dude is pouty, a little whiny and his raspy voice telling you not to leave while holding you closer👁️🫦👁️

જ⁀➴ will be so quick with it if he feels like someone is disrespecting you or being rude to you even a little bit and don't get me started on flirting with you, you need to control your guard dog please!!! He will bite his dick off and leave him bloody and bruised for weeks.

જ⁀➴ true story, you scolded him and made sure he wasn't getting into as many fights after or at least not to the point of last time, but he listens to you because he would hate for you to be disappointed or not happy and especially with him.

જ⁀➴ I don't think Mattheo can live with himself knowing he's the reason you're angry, upset, sad, disappointed or literally anything that is happy or a good emotion.

જ⁀➴ opens doors, gives you his clothes, let's you borrow wtvr you need from him, buys you anything you want, gives you your favorite flowers every date night, give you massages, run you nice and relaxing baths, helps with studies, always with you especially in public.

જ⁀➴ no cause actually ever since y'all started dating you haven't been seen with mattheo with you, either behind you, either side of your or like 2-4 inches behind you watching over you carefully. Like he's a great protector!!

જ⁀➴ my boy working overtime to make sure you're safe and he wouldn't have it any other way tbh.

[babyleostuff]

SAYING SOMETHING THEY DIDN'T MEAN IN A FIGHT | VOCAL UNIT

𐙚  YOON JEONGHAN 

his pettiness and stubbornness would make every fight 100x worse, and no matter how many times he’d promise himself that he’d be more understanding and try to look at the situation from your point of view, he’d end up saying something he didn’t mean just to make you more annoyed, not realising how much his words hurt you.

you couldn’t look at him, not when he treated you like you were nothing, and didn’t seem remorseful even in the slightest. “i never thought i'd hear something like that from you,” you said, your voice filled with disappointment rather than anger. you wanted to yell at him, hit him, scream out how much his words hurt you, but you weren’t sure if he’d care even if you did all of that. 

jeonghan, on the other hand, felt like throwing up the second he heard the door close after you quickly left the house. he didn’t mean to be rude to you, he didn’t even realise that the fight you were having was a serious one - otherwise he’d never say something like that. his stomach twisted with agony as he recalled your broken expression and tears filling your eyes. “what have i done?’

it would take some time for things to get back as they were, for you to forgive him completely, but that wouldn’t discourage jeonghan. he would make sure to show you how much he cared about you and how sorry he was, through any action that he could - even if it meant he had to do something out of his comfort zone or something he usually wasn’t as fond of.

𐙚  HONG JOSHUA 

to make joshua say something he didn’t mean, especially to you, is like… nearly impossible. no matter what situation you’d be in, whether it’d be a small argument or a big fight (those were rare too), he’d always watch what he was saying, because he knew how quickly things could escalate and you both could end up hurt and upset by something that could be prevented. he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if he said something mean you.

“darling, let’s just…,” joshua sighed, running his hand through his hair, pulling at them slightly. “let’s take a break ’kay?”

you hadn’t realised how angry you got at each other, when your little argument over your chores escalated to a proper fight that was so unnecessary, but because both of you were too tired to think clearly, neither of you did anything to stop it. 

until now. 

“yeah, i think that’s a good idea,” you nodded at your boyfriend, smiling at him weakly. fighting always took a toll on you, you hated being angry at each other, but at least joshua stopped the whole situation before any of you said something you didn’t mean. he cupped your face and pecked your forehead, before leaving you alone in your bedroom. 

some time later you emerged from the bedroom, your hair in a mess from your nap, just to be met with joshua standing behind the counter surrounded by what looked like all of your favourite dishes. “let’s eat, and then we’ll talk,” he smiled at you, reaching over the counter to intertwine his fingers with yours, before placing a peck on your palm.

𐙚  LEE JIHOON 

he is way too mature and composed to say something he doesn’t mind, but that being said, not every argument could be resolved easily and calmly. a lot of the times fights between you happened when you found him in his studio for the fifth night in a row, with your boyfriend looking like he hadn’t slept for a month. arguments about his well-being were always heated, and sometimes woozi didn’t think what he was saying and how it would affect you.

“i just care about you, is that so hard to understand?” 

you stood in the middle of jihoon’s studio, surrounded by endless pizza and take-out boxes, and empty cans of his favourite drinks laying everywhere. comeback seasons were always the worst and you knew he had to work, but that didn’t mean he had to pull an all-nighter for the fourth time that week.  

“and you being mean to me won’t make me any less worried, it just makes you look like an even bigger dick that doesn’t appreciate his partner being worried sick.”

you didn't say anything else, just put the food you brought him on his desk and left the studio, slamming the door behind you.

jihoon couldn't remember the last time he got more than an hour of sleep, and he knew that his messed up sleep schedule was a shitty excuse for how he treated you, but if he wasn’t so exhausted he’d never even think of the things he just said to you. his hands itched to grab your waist, and make you stay and beg for your forgiveness, but he was too ashamed to even look at you.  

that night, though, instead of returning to his apartment, he went straight to your place. he knew you were awake but he didn't want to dwell on your fight right now, so he just laid down next to you. jihoon thought he was going to cry with joy when he felt you move closer to him.

𐙚  LEE SEOKMIN

you’d quarrel and have like those everyday silly fights, arguing over who’s going to drink from the blue mug that morning, but that was the furthest a fight would go between you two, and if he ever said anything remotely mean or upsetting, he’d be begging on his knees for forgiveness in an instant, that’s not even up for discussion - that man cherishes you and your well being way too much to spend his time on fighting.

you looked at each other with horror upon hearing the words that just left your boyfriend's mouth. the day hasn’t really started yet, it was way too early for you to be up, but you wanted to make some food for seokmin before he went to work. one thing led to another, and now you ended up in a fight. 

“i did not just say that,” he whispered, his eyes wide.

“you did, seokmin,” you said, crossing your arms over your chest. you weren’t sure how you were even supposed to feel now - never have you heard such mean words leave his mouth, ever, and the fact that the first time it happened, they were targeted at you?  

“baby, baby focus and listen to me,” seokmin said, his voice panicked, as he held your face in his hands. “i have no idea what had just happened, but i did not mean what i just said, i don’t know why i even thought of it.” 

“seokmin, you have to go, or you’ll be late for practi-,” 

“no, i’m not going anywhere before you forgive me,” he looked at you with big eyes, as he tried to figure out how you were feeling. 

you had no other way but to forgive him, or he’d be late and seugcheol would kill him if he found out why he was late. seokmin made sure to show you just how sorry he was by not letting you go for the next week, repeating how much he loved you until you had to tell him to shut up. 

𐙚  BOO SEUNGKWAN

another petty one that would be bad at controlling his anger during an argument. fighting with him would be a bit pointless, because he’d insist that he’s the only one that’s right, which could lead him to saying something he actually didn’t mean. even though seungkwan would feel so bad after, he wouldn’t stop you from leaving, he’d feel too ashamed to say anything in the moment, because how could he be so mean to someone who he loves so dearly?

“i…,” seungkwan stuttered, looking down, too ashamed to look at your face. 

“for someone who always has a lot to say you’re oddly quiet now,” you said, and even though he couldn’t see your face, the tone of your voice told him how angry and disappointed in him you were. 

seungkwan wanted to kick himself for being so goddamn stubborn - instead of taking a break like you proposed, he continued to argue with you, making the situation so much worse and ending up saying some horrible things. 

he opened and closed his mouth, but what was he even supposed to say? he didn’t want to make any excuses for himself, and there were no words that would express how sorry he was. “great job, seungkwan,” you said, before he heard the door slam shut, and he was left alone in your apartment. 

he didn’t even realise when he had started crying, tears slowly rolling down his cheeks, but he didn’t want to feel sorry for himself, not when he just acted like a dick to the person he loves the most - the one and only he should always protect and make happy. 

seungkwan ended up falling asleep on the couch, he couldn’t sleep in your bed without you there, he knew he’d just start crying again. it’d take some time for you to forgive him completely, but you wouldn’t be too harsh on him seeing how emotionally exhausted he was, besides, you knew he didn’t truly mean what he said.

taglist (if you want to be added, check my masterlist): @weird-bookworm @sea-moon-star @hanniehaee @wonwooz1 @byprettymar @edgaralienpoe @staranghae @eightlightstar @itza-meee @immabecreepin @hyneyedfiz @honestlydopetree @dkswife @marisblogg @whatsgyud @aaniag @jeonghansshitester @daegutowns @carlesscat-thinklogic23 @embrace-themagic @soul-is-a-strange-kid @ohmyhuenings @nidda13 @hrts4hanniehae @k-drama-adict @f4iryjjosh @isabellah29 @hafsah-ali @mrswonwooo @lllucere @athanasiasakura @onlyyjeonghan @chillseo @bangantokchy

[808airsoftbros]

Forgotten or Not (Nana/Bae Suzy)

Author: This is a commission hiring from my good friend @elryuse but I added my own edits and twists to it so I hope you all enjoy it. Also if you want to read more of my fics check out my Masterlist

Y/N's POV

The grand dinner event was a whirlwind of glitz and glamour. The air was thick with anticipation as fans worldwide gathered to celebrate K-pop's meteoric rise. As a relatively new member of the scene, I felt a mix of excitement and nerves.

Suzy and Nana, my two girlfriends, were by my side. Their presence was a comforting balm amidst the chaos. We had been together for several years, our love a quiet, steady force in our lives.

As the evening progressed, I couldn't shake the feeling of a growing divide between the older and newer generations of idols. The younger stars, like Blackpink, exuded a confidence bordering on arrogance. Jennie and Lisa, in particular, were known for their outspoken nature.

I overheard them making derogatory remarks about the older generation, dismissing them as "grandmas" and claiming they were relics of the past. My blood boiled.

“If it weren’t for us we wouldn’t be in this position in the leaderboards!” Taeyeon argued but Jennie simply sniffed.

“Hm. Maybe so but your time is over and there is nothing left for you to give now it’s time make way for new gen idols like us!” Jennie replied and Lisa snickered.

“Enjoy your time Grandma, while it lasts~” Lisa remarked and laughed as they walked away.

I could tell Taeyeon-Noona wanted to say more but she didn’t because we all knew they were right…

I had always admired the pioneers of K-pop. It’s true they had paved the way for artists like me and the fact that our time is nearing but to see them treated with such disrespect was infuriating. Suzy and Nana tried to calm me down.

"Don't do it," Suzy whispered, her voice firm.

"It's not worth it." Nana agreed. "They're just young and naive. They'll learn eventually."

I knew they were right, but my anger refused to subside. As I watched the younger idols perform on stage, I couldn't help but feel a sense of resentment. I had worked hard to get to where I was, and I didn't appreciate being dismissed so easily.

“I know but they didn’t have to be so rude about it!” I pointed out and Nana sighed.

“To tell you the truth… I was just like them when I was there age, when Afterschool debuted we were one of the best there was and for the previous generation of my time, we showed no sympathy in their situation, we thought we were invincible and we’d last forever… But I was wrong, as we got older, dancing and singing along with the ruthless practices got more difficult and eventually our company retired us and were quietly replaced by younger rookie idols and eventually we were forgotten,” Nana explained her story.

“And this cycle will always continue as long as K-pop stands, our companies are always working on training better and stronger idols than will ever be, and eventually as they get older they will soon feel the same as we did, we are lucky enough to still be in the industry as actresses, and in some cases… It doesn’t matter how old or how young idols are, they too will be replaced before they know it,” Suzy finished giving a dead serious look in my eyes.

That night, as I lay in bed, I couldn't stop thinking about Suzy and Nana's words. They reminded me of the transient nature of fame. One day, I too would be considered outdated and replaced by a new generation of idols.

It was a harsh reality, but it was one that I would have to face. I realized that I had been so focused on proving myself that I had lost sight of what was truly important. I had been so eager to be recognized as a rising star that I had forgotten to appreciate the journey.

The next morning, as I prepared for another event, I felt a newfound sense of perspective. I had faced a challenge, and I had come out stronger on the other side.

I realized that the future of K-pop was bright, and I was excited to be a part of it. As I stepped onto the stage that day, I felt a sense of peace.

I knew that I had a responsibility to the younger generation of idols. I would be their mentor, their guide. And I would do everything in my power to ensure that they were treated with respect.

But most importantly, I would cherish the love and support of my two incredible girlfriends, Suzy and Nana. Their love was a constant in my life, a beacon of light in the ever-changing world of K-pop.

The incident at the dinner event had brought Suzy and Nana even closer to me. The shared experience had deepened our bond, revealing a new level of understanding and empathy between us. Nana, always the practical one, had taken the lead in comforting me in the aftermath of the event.

Her gentle words and warm embrace had provided me with the solace I needed. Suzy, on the other hand, had offered a different kind of support.

Her quiet strength and unwavering belief in me had given me the courage to face the challenges ahead. As time went on, I found myself appreciating the unique qualities of each woman in my life.

Nana's grounded nature and unwavering support provided a sense of stability. Suzy's quiet strength and unwavering belief in me gave me the courage to face any challenge.

Their love for me was a constant in my life, a beacon of light in the ever-changing world of K-pop. Together, we navigated the ups and downs of our careers with grace and resilience.

We celebrated each other's successes and offered support during difficult times. Our bond grew stronger with each passing day, a testament to the power of love and friendship.

~

Five years later…

As five years passed since the dinner event, though may seem little time has passed but it felt a decade, the industry changed drastically than I could ever imagine. Blackpink who were one the worlds most famous K-pop group eventually fell under.

With new groups such as Le Sserafim, IVE, NewJeans, and others debuting, they got off huge while Blackpink went off the leaderboards with their absence of comebacks and attending other events and the same can be said for the previous generation groups.

As for myself, I decided to propose to my two beautiful girlfriends and when they said “yes” I was ecstatic and we got married a month later, and already discussing our retirement from the industry as we believed we’ve earned it after working for years.

One evening, as we sat together on the balcony of our shared apartment, I turned to Suzy and Nana.

"I'm so grateful for you both," I said. "You've made my life so much richer."

Suzy and Nana smiled at me. "We're grateful for you too," Suzy replied.

[twistedwonderlandimaginesblog]

If you already made a request like this or if this request makes you uncomfortable in some way you can just ignore it, I don't mind

Could I request a headcanon with the Octavinelle trio, Idia and Malleus with a s/o who's always wearing clothes that cover as much of their body as possible? Like hodies, pants, long skirts, etc

But one day s/o finally takes the courage to tell and show the reason for that. The reason is that s/o has various scars across their body and they're pretty insecure of them (you don't need to specify where they came from)

Love your work and hope you have a great day 💜

Azul Ashengrotto:

Azul understood perfectly well how it felt to be insecure about your body. While your issues didn’t perfectly align, he couldn’t pretend he didn’t understand at least part of your pain, though he tried to keep that secret close to his chest while he comforted you. He assured you that your sense of style had class and that’s why the other students didn’t get it, imploring you to ignore the rumors as only you had the right to pick what suited you best. He doesn’t know if there’s a way to help you gain confidence but he would try to support you to the best of his ability.  

Floyd Leech:

Floyd did notice your fashion choices but it had never bothered him, he just figured land-dwellers had their own thing going on and thought nothing else of it. Scars, however, were cool as hell in his eyes and he told you to show them off more often, even if it was just to him. He’s interested in the story behind them but even he shows tact at times, or perhaps he was simply distracted, but either way he didn’t push the subject much further. He’s already threatening enough that most people aren’t stupid enough to speak poorly of you when he’s around, so you could at least have that peace of mind.

Idia Shroud:

Idia had never questioned your fashion sense even when others might’ve, as he was used to rumors or gossip spreading about him. He never suspected he’d unlock another portion of your potentially tragic backstory, avoiding direct eye contact with your scars to avoid being rude. He thinks it’ s true that everyone has scars, some more visible than others, and hiding them away is another form of defense. He quietly appreciated the level up in trust, becoming more vocal if he heard people speaking negatively about your clothing choices.

Jade Leech:

Jade had sneaked peaks of scarred skin once or twice but had never questioned it, happy to smile on and pretend he saw nothing until the right moment strikes for him to ask. He’s highly aware of the rumors being spread, listening to each carefully and locating their sources for further investigation. He can see how easily you’re bothered by the words of others and when you finally tell him about your scars, he began to understand Floyd’s ‘protective instincts’ a little more. Thankfully he had already done the work of finding out who was causing your stress and he'd have them handled in no time at all.

Malleus Draconia:

Malleus listened intently to your story, hiding the anger gathering deep in his chest as he remembered all the rumors that drove you to confess this now. He had no doubt he could shut them down but the pain they had inflicted on you was already clear, meaning he was just a tad too late to completely protect you. He won’t make that same mistake again, stroking your hair and soothing you as he thought of the best ways to strike at your foes quickly, in a way that would assure their silence without drawing too much attention back to him.

[worldofkuro]

Painted Smile

Painted Smile VI

<- Previous Chapter | Next Chapter ->

Pairing: Alastor x Female! Reader

Summary: You couldn't wait to meet new friends. What you didn't expect was this smiling little boy, only one year older than you, that would take such a big place in your life.

Notes: It's a long chapter because it's Alastor's Point of View from the beginning until the end of Chapter IV. There is dark theme here, like racism, blood, dark thoughts. But I guess you know about it, it is about Alastor's story ! Please enjoy and tell me your thoughts, if you like having a long chapter about Alastor's thoughts.

“ Do you promise to be a good boy bébé?”

Alastor smiled at his mother and nodded. He would always be good for his mother, even if he didn’t like what he was supposed to do. Today, his mother had invited an old friend of hers, someone she used to know before she married his father, and this woman would bring her child with her, hoping that they could play together. His mother was so excited.

He didn’t care about them, but if his mother was happy, he'd put on a show.

He went into his bedroom to be sure everything was clean, but mostly to be sure that his secrets were kept safe. He took his journal, where all of his thoughts were written down. He hid it under a pile of clothes, if his father were to fall upon it,  it would be a disaster and frankly, he didn’t want to get into another beating.

He lifted his head up as he heard noises downstairs. So the parasites have finally come. He looked at himself in the mirror and smiled brightly. Easy. He tried different types of smiles before going downstairs quietly. He has learned not to make noises when he was walking, sometimes he could walk behind his fathers without him noticing. 

And there you were. He tilted his head as he saw you took a photo and stared at it. You didn’t even sense him, you weren’t paying attention to what was going on around you. Your life must be so easy.

“  Do you not know that it is rather rude to touch others' belongings?”

He stopped himself from chuckling as you jumped, surprised. Heh, too easy.

“And it is rude to come unannounced behind a lady!” 

A lady? His mother was a lady. Always proper, always smiling… You? You were… a naive, uninteresting girl so far. He did say to his mother that he would play nice… But he couldn’t help himself.

“ I see no lady.”

He wanted to laugh at your expression. How strange. You were giving him your reaction without faking it. In this house, everyone was faking it to make it out alive, even his Mother, faking a smile so his father could be “happy”. And when the emotion wasn't faked, it usually meant that problems were on their way. But you, you just expressed your expression out loud, without fearing it could put you in trouble. How strange. 

He turned his head toward his mother who introduced you both. He was ready to go shake your hand but you came toward him and kissed him on both cheeks. The only person who kissed him like this was his mother. Who did you think you were ? His cheeks flushed with anger but he contained himself,  not here, not in front of his mother… You wanted to play that game? Alright.

He waited for both of your mothers to go back in the kitchen before stepping closer to you, his face near yours. Hah, how you liked it when someone came too close toward you. He stared at your eyes, your eyes that seemed to say so many things, things he couldn’t comprehend, that he couldn’t grasp because he… he wasn't like you.

“ It’s rude to look at someone face this close!”

He almost coughed, you were the one who kissed him first but now HE was the one being rude? He easily made a lie saying he needed to be close to see. He saw your eyes relax and you almost seemed sorry. Were you watching him with pity? Oh no, he wouldn’t accept it. He’d prefer seeing you angry at him than watching him as if he was some kind of helpless kid who couldn’t fight for himself. 

“ But now that I have seen you up close I can clearly say… I see no lady.”

He smiled when he saw your angry face.

----

Your parents were really curious about him. He didn’t really want to talk with them but he put on his mask and talked about school and other boring stuff. He almost lost his calm when he felt you kicked him in the shin. He stared at you as you were beaming with pride and joy because you were now the centre of attention. How naively cute.

His mother always told him to never hit a girl but… If it was an accident ? And you were the one to begin this war. He kicked you on the same spot you had kicked him. His smile widened when he saw you spilled your drink on the table. You were panicking so much and you had every reason to be.. if his father were to be here. He stared at you, drinking.  You were a living experiment with your emotions shown so easily. You were still naive… But a tiny bit interesting. 

He stood up from his chair when his mother invited you both to play outside. He walked in front of you but he was looking at your shadows which made it so easy to dodge your so-called kick. He looked at you with a beaming smile when he spotted your face. You seemed so surprised.. and a bit impressed.

“ So unladylike.”

He watched you as you stuck your tongue to him, he was sure you were thinking he couldn’t see you. How funny. He let you go toward the swing and watched you as you went higher and higher with each swing. He walked toward you as you closed your eyes and arched your back toward the ground. You seemed so light, like you could just fly at any moment. Now he was curious.

“Jump.”

You didn’t seem keen on jumping, saying things like you could hurt yourself or dirtying your dress. He kept his smile but felt kind of disappointed. Oh well, maybe you weren’t interested. 

Or maybe you were!

He stared at you as you jumped when the swing was in its highest spot. He opened his mouth as he saw you, almost floating in the air, you seemed so free, so alive, so colourful, so… out of reach. He wanted to drag you down in hell with him. In his personal hell. In his life. Why were you so happy and he was–

“ Wow! Did you see that Alastor ! I did it ! Haha ! That was super amazing !”  you laughed. He looked at you, you were looking at him like you wanted him to be proud of you. You were beaming, you were… cute. You just jumped off a swing because he dared you to do it and you did it. No question asked. Most of the people would have said they didn’t want to play with him and left. But you stayed. Strange…

He tried to suppress his laugh when you dared him to climb the tree. So easy. Once he climbed it he watched you. Now you were the one on the floor while he was near the sky. He looked at you as you watched him, impressed. It made him feel something so he decided to tease you once again.

“ I should thank you, now that I’m here, I don’t have to see your face.���

“ My face is pretty !”

Yes, it was.

“ Pretty ugly.”

“ Alastor !”

You played all afternoon, you always had another game to play, another riddle to solve. Your mind was always thinking about something new… But then you put your hand on his eyes and said that you had a great time with him. What kind of manipulative game was that? Saying a secret, trusting the other person to hold their tongue and never breathe a word of what you just said? How could you be so naive ? Life wasn’t fair. Sharing secrets would make you weak. Never reveal your scars, your secrets or your emotions. 

He asked for another game, not wanting to see your face. Did you know that he could see everything in your eyes? Was that why you said your secret with a hand in front of his eyes, so he couldn’t see if you were in pain or happy? 

He looked at you as you proposed  a game of hide and seek. How cute. He would find you. He was a master of “hunting”. He closed his eyes and counted until fifty. He could already hear where you were going as you ran toward the forest. He smiled as he made you think he didn’t know where you were, he waited some time so you could be so sure of yourself you wouldn’t see him come.

And there you were.

“ Found you.”

You ran.

But what shocked him even further was that he couldn’t catch you. It was like you were flying through the grass, you weren’t watching where you were putting your feet while he was watching the floor, dodging the puddle of mudd, jumping over the branches that would have made him fall. He watched as you ran, he wanted to catch you. He didn’t know why, maybe to prove something to himself. 

It seemed like it was time to say goodbye, he didn’t even see the time passing which was surprising, he always knew what time it was, knowing when his father would come back. You came toward him, you seemed sad.

“ Well.. Goodbye…”

Were you really sad ? How cute. But if it was the last time that he saw you, he would rather see you smile.. And , well , he wasn’t going to see you again right? He could tell you a secret. He covered your eyes.

“ I had fun and… you are pretty.” 

He went to his mother as he watched you and your family leaving his house. When he went back home, his mother was watching him with an expectant smile. He tilted his hand, smiling at her, she seemed to have had a great afternoon, he was relieved.

“ Did you have a great time Alastor?”

He froze for a second. Did he? He stared at his hand, the hand that didn’t manage to catch you. Well, you were like a fresh breeze. Needed but short. He would have to live once again without feeling it.

“ Yes, I had a great time.”

—----

Alastor was doing his homework in the kitchen while his mother was cooking. Most of the time, his Father was away all week because he worked far from home, so his boss would give him a place to stay to avoid doing long travel. Which meant, when it was the weekend, his Father would do nothing but lay around in the house and if he had a bad week, well.. Let’s just say that his body remembered those days.

There, done! 

He stood up from his chair, now that his homeworks was done, he could go and listen to his radio. He went to his bedroom and sat on his desk, listening to the radio until he heard noises downstairs. He didn’t remember his Mother telling him that they would have guests over… And then he heard them. Your footsteps. What was that feeling? His heart was beating louder as your footsteps were getting closer and closer.

He smirked when he heard his door open, did you really think you were being quiet ? He stayed silent waiting to feel you closer to him, and once he saw your shadow, he opened his mouth.

“ How rude, entering a boy’s bedroom without permission.”

“ I see no boy.”

He smiled as he approached his face towards yours making you blush. He didn’t know why, but he was… content seeing you in front of him with all of your emotions written across your face. 

But he didn’t like this thought.

The fact that just your presence could make him feel things. You didn’t have the rights. That would mean that you had the upper hand on him, playing with him. No, you couldn’t know.

“ Why are you here?”

And there it was. You looked like a kicked puppy. He didn’t like it. He clearly didn’t like it. You were cute like this but he’d rather see you smiling even if he didn’t like what it made him feel. He suppressed his need to sigh at your face. You stuck your tongue at him, trying to hide the fact that he hurted you. You really were the cutest. Didn’t you see that he already saw your heartbroken expression? Seems like he needed to make things right. He touched your shoulder but you didn’t move. You were such an obstinate brat. He really was trying to be nice ! He sighed. Well… 

He covered your eyes, smiling when he saw you flinching and spoke.

“ I didn’t expect…to be content to see you today.”

Your smile was really blinding. He wondered if you were aware of it? How could you smile so easily without fearing that you showed too much emotion? How could you trust him not to use the information you just told him with your smile: You liked being with him. 

He was almost worried for your future. He looked at your hands as you raised it toward his face, clearly trying to cover his eyes. You really liked to touch him, didn’t you? He helped you as he took your hand and placed it in front of his eyes. Now what?

“ I wanted to see you too.” you confessed.

…

So that’s what it was.

He wanted to see you too.

How could you speak so freely? He took your hands off him and stared at you, maybe if he stared long enough in your eyes, he could get an answer. The only answer he got? He didn’t flinch when you kissed his cheeks not because he was scared but because didn’t feel the need to push you away. How strange…

He smirked as you told him about making him food. So you asked about him. You didn’t forget about him. Interesting..

He tilted his head as you ordered him to dance. He could dance, his Mother had teached him, he couldn’t wait but show you. He gave you a big smile and held his hand toward you but you went off script. You took his hand and just started to jump around, holding his hand. You encouraged him to do just like you but he was so confused. Was that dancing ? Maybe it was your way of dancing… Well, it was chaotically cute.. But let him show you how it’s done.

He took your hands and twirled you just like his Mother taught him. You seemed impressed once again, he really liked that. He didn’t know why but he wanted you to keep on watching him like this. You let go of his hand and walked toward his bed before throwing his pillow in his face. He didn’t expect it. He stared at your laughing face. You thought you were funny huh?

He took the pillow and ran toward you, pinning you on the floor and hitting you softly with his pillow. “ Rule number one, never drop your guard.” He hitted you with his pillow. “ Rule number two, I’m the strongest here.” he hitted you once again. “ Rule number three, give up.” He smiled as he watched you trying to sit up. You were really trying to get away ? He held the pillow above his head and then he saw it.

Your gaze fell on a bruise from his father. Ah, were you going to ask questions? What excuses should he invent this time? He tried to help his mother but failed? No, it was impossible. As he was swimming through his thoughts you took his hand, placed it on your eyes and  began to talk. You talked and talked and talked, you really couldn’t stop huh?

But he listened.

To every word.

He stood up and helped you when he heard his mother calling you downstairs. He followed you to the sofa and sat down, listening to your mothers talking. Seemed like you weren’t as patient as him, he could already see boredom settling on your face. But then you ran off the living room saying stuff about a kitty. He smiled at the ladies and went outstairs, staring at you and the cat. This bloody cat who was always hissing at him…

Maybe if he stopped affraying it, the cat would calm down? Huh…

He came closer and as expected the cat began to hiss but then it hurted you. He stared at your bleeding hand and took it in his. You were trying so hard not to cry. Why? You’ve been showing him every single of your emotions since you have met, why would you hide something that he wanted to see? Why did you not want to share yourself with him? He didn’t remember the last time he or his Mother cried. What would you look like? Without even being aware he dug his nails in your cut making you scream. He stared at you, you didn’t seem angry at him, but confused.  

“ Don’t be ashamed, you can cry. I… I think I want you to cry.” Now he was the one being confused.  Why would he want to see you cry? Because that means you trusted him enough to show yourself at your weakest. You began to cry, louder than necessary for such a little cut. But he let you. You were crying in front of him without feeling ashamed. You trusted him not to hurt you even more. You were an open book for him, a book he wanted to keep on reading.

But he’d rather see you smile.

He opened his mouth, ready to make a joke but he froze once he heard his voice.

“Alastor.”

He kept you against him. He remembered his Father hitting him because he was crying, he needed to hide your tears from his Father. He didn’t deserve to see you in that state. He didn’t trust his Father and neither should you.

“ Why is this chick crying ? For God’s sake, what have you done boy?”

“ The cat scratched her.”

“ This stupid cat… I’ll shoot it next time.”

He stared as the man went inside the house. It was going to be a hard night… He didn’t want to explain everything to you about his Father, you didn’t need to know. All you needed to know was how to be safe from this man. He covered your eyes with his hand.

“ Never cry in front of this man.”

He didn’t let go of you until you nodded. Then he took you to his Mother so she could clean your cut. Better safe than sorry.

Before leaving you told him about the pizza that you made with your Mother. He sneaked with you to the kitchen, he knew that his Father would eat all of the food you made so he wanted to share it with you before it could be stolen from him.  You were so eager for his feedback, he almost wanted to say it tasted bad but after what he did to your hand he decided to be honest and made the promise to cook you something next time. You beamed and kissed him on both cheeks before leaving with your Mother.

—--

He was so excited.

His Mother had told him that you would have a sleep over while his Father wasn’t home. It was perfect! He also had another game he wanted to play with you. His Mother had bought him a microphone thanks to his good grades at school. He wanted to do a radio broadcast with you. He wanted to share his dream with you just like you shared your emotions with him. He was in his bedroom, re-reading his note to be sure that everything was perfect. He asked his mother to do his hair like adults, so now his hair was slicked back. He looked at himself in the mirror. That would do. 

“ Can I come in yet?” you asked, outside Alastor’s bedroom, waiting for him to open the door.

His grin got even bigger. He opened his bedroom door and stared at your outfit. You were cute, as always. You kissed him on both cheeks, like usual and he tugged you inside his now radio booth! 

“ Welcome to my humble Radiobooth !” He said with glee as he shoved you on a chair. “ Welcome New Orleans to Alastor’s podcast ! Thank you for tuning in, today I’m thrilled to announce that I will not be alone, I am blessed with the best singer in all Lousianna !” he claimed and shoved the microphone to your face. You gave him a big smile and began to introduce yourself even saying he was the best radio host of all New Orleans. He couldn’t help giggling, you were playing your part perfectly. Maybe when he would have had his own radio station he would invite you as a very special guest. 

He kept talking as you read the notes he had just given you, he kind of expected you to fumble but once again you surprised him. You were natural, talking about what was written on his notes but then you went off script and made him laugh. You were amazing.

He kept doing his part as the radio host, explaining about why your sleepover has to be delayed to this day. You didn’t ask much more information but was happy he punched the boy who badmouthed his mother. Calling her such a disgusting word…

You both kept playing, sometimes he would forget about your presence, but when he noticed that his voice was the only thing he could hear he would turn toward you, ordering you to talk. You had a pretty voice, why not use it?

Well, he didn’t expect you to raise your voice against him when he said he couldn’t understand people liking sweet things. You were so convinced that there was something wrong with him for not liking sweets. Well, shouldn’t you feel appreciated ? You were the sweetest thing he ever laid his eyes upon and he kept you by his side, didn’t he? He closed his eyes still smiling as you kept blablating with his Mother’s laugh echoing in his bedroom. He liked it. He really liked this moment, if he could, he would like to record this moment so he could play it again and again.

After his Mother’s departure he went toward the letter he wrote with questions for you. You thought the game was over? Think again.

He asked you many questions, well of course the questions weren’t from him, but from the audience ! You answered to all of them honestly and there came the last one. He took the letter and read it to you.

“ And now, our last question before our guest’s performance. What do you think about our dear radio host Alastor ?”

He could see your answer in your eyes before you even opened your mouth. He already knew what you were about to say. He already knew. But he was waiting eagerly so you could say those words he desperately needed to hear. Say it, say it, say it…

“ He is the best!”

Yes, and so were you.

And you needed to know it.

He tugged you downstairs saying you needed to sing or the broadcast couldn’t end. He sat in front of the piano as you were flustered with his microphone in your hands.  He smiled at you and then closed his eyes. He wanted you to feel powerful. But first, he needed you to be less insecure about your abilities. So the first lesson would be: singing.

And sing you did. When you stopped being a coward and really sang like the singer that you were, he couldn't help but open his eyes to admire you. Even if some of the notes weren’t the best, you were giving it your all. You were giving him all of you at that moment. 

He couldn’t be more proud.

You were the best.

He couldn’t stop himself from crushing you against him as he said goodbye to your audience. Everything was perfect, you were here, his mother too and there were smiles on every lips. 

—--

“ We are still playing with Alastor! When we are finished, I will join you.” you said with a shy smile, holding a plushie. He was behind you, waiting for his Mother's command. Truthfully, he didn’t want you to go to sleep with his Mother right away. He still had other games he would like to play with you. As soon as his Mother accepted, you ran into his bedroom with him following you. You were on his bed with this…

“ What is it ?”

“ Well, first of all, it’s a He and he is a deer.”

He listened to your story. So you didn’t know how to swim, he would have to train you. You shouldn’t have so many weaknesses, it was dangerous. But then you started talking about how your deer plushie was protecting you. What were you saying, were you so tired that thinking was too difficult for you?

“ So, a deer saved your life from drowning…”

“ Yes, so my parents bought me this deer plushie so now, when I'm scared I can just squeeze him and feel safe!” you demonstrated your words by squeezing your plushie against you. “ Do you want to try it?” 

Did he want to try to squeeze a plushie? Not really. Not at all.

“ How can he protect you?”

You rolled your eyes at him before pushing your plushie in his arms. You forced him to hug it, once you were satisfied, you nodded and looked at Alastor who was clearly confused. “ Now, squeeze him !” 

Once again , you were looking at him with those eyes he couldn’t refuse anything. He suppressed a sigh and squeezed the deer against him and closed his eyes. It has your scent. He could feel himself relax. Yeah… It felt nice. If he were to hug you like this, would you also be this soft?  He was getting taller than you, have you noticed it? Maybe one day, he would be able to hug you just like this plushie? Would you feel safe in his arms? Or would you try to run away?

“ Mister Deer could be our very first guest in our radio show?”

Our.

He opened his eyes, staring right in your soul. Ah, you were panicking. Did you think he didn’t like that you use “ our” instead of “ his” ? You were so cute! 

“ I’d like that.” he whispered with a soft smile. “ Our first guest.”

You both laid on his bed, he still held the plushie against him. He really needed to find him a name, names are important. He listened to you blablating about how he was supposed to take care of the deer. It looked like a fawn for him but whatever.

“ Now that I have Mister Deer, who will protect you?” he asked, with no trace of fatigue on his face, he was used to not sleeping, because of nightmares or just because he needed to be aware of what his father’s doing in the house. You smiled tiredly at him, putting your head on his pillow.

“ Well, because you hold Mister Deer, it’s your job to protect me now.” 

It was his job to protect you..? He would do it. He would protect your smile, he would protect your dazzling eyes that seemed to never lose their sparkes.

“ … So, do I need to hug you?”

“ M-maybe but…Do you want to …?”

Does he want to?

He covered your eyes with his hand. Within the next five minutes you were asleep, he took off his hand and stared at your face.

 Did he want to hug you? 

He looked at the fawn in his arms. You were cuter than your plushie, so that made you huggable. He touched your cheeks with his finger but you didn’t move. He nudged you with his feet but you stayed asleep. You must be feeling very safe to sleep like this. He would awake at any noise in the house. 

Did he want to hug you? 

He wasn’t touching you but he could feel your body warm from here. Were you too hot? Did he need to take off the blanket ? But maybe you liked being warm? You were so problematic, did you know that? He stared at the ceiling, he knew he wasn’t going to fall asleep soon… 

Did he want to hug you?

He put the fawn between his body and yours, whispering in your ear. He hoped you would stay asleep, he didn’t want anyone to witness what he was going to say.

Did he want to hug you?

“ Yes, if you hug me back.”

—-----

He was blushing as his Mother was asking him if he slept well. She had a teasing glint in her eyes, she must have seen! When he woke up, he had you in his arms. He quietly left the bed, leaving the fawn with you. 

“ Alastor, this  was a very cute scene!” 

He didn’t care if this was cute, it was embarrassing ! He hid his face in his Mother dress. Could she just forget about it? 

“ Don’t worry, I won’t tell a soul.” she kissed the top of his head with a beaming smile. He smiled at her, his mother seemed happier since she found your mother back.  He liked it. He decided to go back to his room to see if you awakened but what was surprising was that he saw you with his microphone, talking with the fawn. How could the fawn protect you, it looked like you were the one protecting it with the way you were holding it against you. You were so strange.

“ I knew you would play with it.” you blinked at him. He looked at your bed hair and couldn’t help but smile. You looked silly like this ! “ Eamon told me you were using the microphone.” You tilted your head.

“ Who ?”

“ Our deer. He needs a name, don’t you think?” he stroked your plushie’s head while mumbling “ even if he looks more like a fawn than a deer…” 

“ He is a deer ! I’m sure you never saw one !” you huffed as you squeezed Eamon against your chest. 

“ Actually, I did when Father took me hunting.” he tilted his head as he saw your horrified face. Why did you take a step back?

“ You killed a deer ?”

“ No, I saw one. And most of them have brown fur, not like ours who have a white one.”  Why did you seem so confused?

“ But…  Why is your father taking you with him.. to hunt..?” you asked, confused.

To kill of course. 

But he couldn’t tell you that. His father wanted him to be a man, and man went hunting.  His father showed him how to kill while threatening him.

If you don’t want to end up like this, shut your trap.

When he first went hunting , he was terrified but now, he would just stare at the dead animal wondering if he will be the target next time. So far, he was alive. How lucky ! But once again, he couldn’t tell you that, could he? Would you be worried for him? 

“ It’s not for little girls, that’s for sure. You wouldn’t bear it.” He teased you.

“ Hey! I saw things too, I’m not a little girl!”

Did you? Were you like him? Did you see things that made you reconsider your morals? Did you see things that made you throw up? Did you see things that made you want to run away and never look back. Did you–

“ My father tried to eat my mother one day.”

…

Now, that was horrifying.

—--

You went downstairs to eat breakfast as he went to the bathroom to wash up. He stared at his body. The bruises were no longer on his body, that was nice. He went to the kitchen and sat next to you. Strange, you were looking at him like you knew something that he didn’t. Did his Mother tell you what happened ? No, she wouldn’t. So why–

“ Next time, we should have a sleepover at my house ! I could show you my room !” you smiled excitedly.

He tensed. He would love to go to your place, being able to see your house. How did you decorate your room? But he couldn’t leave his Mother alone with his Father. What if he decided to come back drunk and beat his mother while he was enjoying himself, free of worries, at your place. No, he couldn’t. He looked at you and there was the kicked puppy stare… 

“ I… I don’t like leaving my mother alone at home.”

“ But we will choose a day where your father is home!” you nudged him, trying to coat him to come with you at your house. “ Please Alastor… I really want you to come.” you pleaded as you held his forearms with your small hands. “ You don’t want to..?”

I want to.

He bit his lips, he wanted but he couldn’t. Wasn’t it the meaning of his life? Wanting without having the power to be able to do what he wanted. Fortunately, his Mother had sensed his discomfort and she offered to come with him for your next sleepover.

He relaxed. Yes, like this, it would be perfect.

The day went on as you both “gossiped” as his Mother called it. But unfortunately, it was time for you to leave. You asked Eamon to take care of him and then you asked him to take care of Eamon.  You were cute but as asked, he would take care of your Fawn.

—-------

He was in the forest with his Father, holding a rifle. It was a familiar feeling to hold the weapon in his little hand. He was used to it now. He was walking, alongside his father who was making so much noise, how could they hunt like this?

“ Here, be a useful brat, shoot it.”

He shot the partridges which fell down near him. Should he be afraid of himself ? He couldn’t feel anything as he watched the life leaving the animal’s eyes. It was almost boring, he was stronger so he won. It was that easy.

Would you be scared of him?

 He stopped himself. You were the first real friend he has ever made. If you were to see him like this, would you be afraid of him? Would you let him explain? He turned his head toward his father as the man pointed to a deer not too far. He could shoot it. It would be easy.

But then he saw your face. He knew this deer wasn’t the one who saved you but this time, for you, he would not kill it. He knew you wouldn’t forgive him.

“Alastor, shoot it..!” 

He just stared at the beautiful beast not too far from him. He stared into its eyes as the animal saw him before running off. How he envied the animal right now…

He heard his Father before feeling the punch in his face.

Ah, today it was going to be harder than usual.

“ You brat!” 

A kick in his stomach.

He wondered if you were sleeping right now? You always fell asleep so easily, he was almost envious. Maybe next time, he’ll ask you how you manage to find the sweet relief of falling asleep.

“ How useless!” 

Another kick in his stomach.

Ah, his Mother was going to be so sad once she saw him. Maybe his Father would let him wash himself up in the water? 

“ You nigga !”

Aand there it was. That disgusting word. He felt his Father grabbed a fistful of his hair and dragged him toward their home. His Father threw him inside his bedroom, Alastor’s head hitting the wall. 

Seemed like his mother was out buying groceries. Good, she wouldn’t have to see that. He stared at his Father, smiling. The man took off his belt and began to hit him on his back, forcing him to lay on his belly. Alastor stared in front of him and saw Eamon, staring back at him. He didn’t know why, but he moved. He stood up as his Father shouted at him to stay in his place. He took the plushie against him, keeping his back toward his Father but he stayed standing. 

His father hit him on his back with his belt once again but Alastor didn’t fall on the ground. He crushed the plushie against him as he closed his eyes. 

It was going to be over soon. He would see you this weekend, you would play together, you would show him your neighbourhood, you would give him something sweet to eat.

He opened his eyes and saw with sadness that Eamond was dirty with his own blood. He touched his nose, oh yes, his father did punch him in the forest. Aah, he needed to clean it before you came back.

His back felt wet and stinky. Was he sweating that much? Normally he could handle it better? He sniffed.

Ah, blood.

He didn’t remember when he passed out but when he woke up, Eamon was still in his arms.

“ ça va aller mon bébé, regarde Maman.” 

He looked at his Mother, her smile wobbling. He just closed his eyes and squeezed Eamon, the plushie didn’t have your scent anymore, but it has his blood’s. 

—---

He didn’t know why, but each week his Father would hit him with his belt on his torso or back even when his Mother was begging for him to stop. He had to go to school with bandages all over his body but his face. But he never cried, nor asked his Father to stop. He would just think that soon, you would come and the Hell he was living would come to a pause. Each time, he was thinking.

Next week.

But you never came. 

It’s been almost a month. Did something happen to you? Were you sick? Maybe he could ask his Mother to see if you were okay? He was on his bed, clinging to Eamon, his back was hurting so much he almost wanted to bite off his hand from the pain.

But no, he just stared in the void, losing his smile. And then, a thought struck him.  

Was killing a human any different than an animal?

His eyes widened, but before he could deepen his thoughts on the subject, he heard footsteps downstairs. Yours footsteps. It was you. He was sure of it. He heard the door smashed open, well, weren’t you full of energy today?

“ So unladylike. I could recognize your footsteps anywhere.”

He frowned when he didn’t hear any witty come back from you. Well? 

“ I.. I made your favorite dish..” you whispered, your voice trembling with each word as you tried to speak out loud.Why did you sound like that? “ Can… Can I see you?”

You wanted to see his pathetic self right now? You really had a bad timing, you’ll have to work on it, really.

“ No.”

“ Please…” you begged, it sounded like you were crying, why were you crying?. “ I was so worried… My father told me what happened–” 

“ What did he tell you?” His voice was colder than usual. He didn’t want you to know. He didn’t want anyone to know.

“ That… That you went hunting with your dad and–” you approached the bed and flinched when you felt his hand covering your eyes. So you were crying, he thought. He could feel your tears wetting the palms of his hands. “ Because of your father you- you have been hurt.” you cried, holding his wrist with one of your hands. “Alastor, I was so scared..!”

Me too, I was so scared.

“ Keep your eyes closed.”

He couldn't help himself. He hugged you. You were finally here. Hell was over for some time.  He wanted to see you so bad. He wanted to see you…

“Yes, I wanted to see you.”

“ Are you hurting?”

“ No. Remember Rules number two: I’m the strongest here.”

He smiled as he heard you laugh. Yes, everything would turn out nicely. He just had to be more careful. To be more observant. He would be the strongest for you. You’ll never have to worry for him to the point of crying. Nobody would keep your friendship from you. He sighed in relief, you were here…

“ I want to see your face.”

Mhn.. Well, as long as it is just his face. He stepped back and smiled at you. You didn’t have to worry.

“ Be my guest.”

 His smile widened when he saw your confused face. You must have thought he would have injuries on his face heh? 

“ You said you wanted to see my face, not my injuries.” he smiled cunningly at you while holding Eamon against his chest. 

“ Why do our deer have pink…red spots on him?” you tilted your head, stroking its fur.

Ah, right. His Mother had tried but she couldn’t wash all the blood he had lost on the fawn each week. Were you going to be upset ? He didn’t protect your fawn even though he told you he would take care of it. Were you going to be disappointed in him?

“ I’m sorry. I bled on him.”

He watched as you sat next to him and gently kissed his cheeks, resting your lips against his skin. Did you know it was the spot his father had punched weeks prior ? Of course, you wouldn’t know. He only could feel your lips, the pain in his back wasn’t there anymore. He squeezed your hand. He missed you… He missed this…

“ I missed you.” you both said.

He smiled softly, as you began to explain all the week he has missed. He felt his heart soared when you explained how you had made a scene so you could come and see him. He had to tease you, because if not, he felt like he would explode with happiness. You have missed him, his presence was something you wanted, he was important for you.

Unfortunately, you had to go.

Well, Hell is forever, right?

He went downstairs, keeping his hand around yours. You seemed so worried. He looked at you after your mother asked about his well being. Why were you so quiet ? 

“ I promise, I’ll see you soon.”

“ You promise? How do I know if you are going to be sick, or injured once again?”

Oh that’s why.

You were so cute. Unfortunately, he couldn’t promise to never be injured again, he would be breaking his promise tonight. What kind of promise could he conjure that would make you both ties to each other forever.

“ Let’s make a deal.”

He approached his face close to yours and kissed your forehead. You blushed and he couldn’t feel bad about it, red suited you.

“ You always kiss me good morning, so now, I’ll kiss you goodbye. Now, you owe me a good morning kiss.” he smiled at you teasingly as he took a step back. “ Do we have a deal?”

Please, say yes.

“ Deal.”

He smiled, now he knew that even though he would suffer because of his father, you would always come back to him, healing him without being aware of it. You were his special.. Something. You were the one painting a true smile on his lips. You were his special person.

Tag List: lukneetoonz @martinys-world @littlepoetnova @sirens-and-moonflowers @eris-norwega @tiredflame132 @mo-0-o @vvollerie @boogiemansbitch @sodavizz @tessemerick @slytherin4ever

[elihermit]

lost in the memories

pairing: Evan “Buck” Buckley x fem!reader

summary: after the incident at work where Buck had to rescue you, you ended up in coma and relieved every moment of your relationship with Buck

word count: 2,1k

note from the writer: i’m so excited to finally share my first imagine with you! i’m taking requests 🫧

Breath in and breathe out. That’s what Buck always said when you start panicking and feel anxious. But today this panic was not over missing a deadline for your task at work, it wasn’t something you could easily fix.

You work as a psychologist who helps your patients get through the trauma of the past and find the strength to move on.

The day started as usual: morning kisses and cuddles with Buck, breakfast, I love you's, and you both went to work. But then everything is just blank, you didn't even get a chance to take your first patient or maybe you did? You can’t even remember.

You woke up at your apartment, cuddling your favorite toy, you got it when you were 9 years old and since then — it’s your lucky charm. You look at your screen to check the time — “8am”. Good, you have time to grab the breakfast at your favorite spot.

Brush your teeth, shower, get dressed, put on some makeup and you’re ready to go.

“Good morning, (Y/N)! Let me guess, latte with raspberry syrup and English breakfast?” — it was Alice, the waitress in your favorite spot. You go here almost every day and you truly can say that she became your friend.

“Good morning, Alice! Yes, you know I can’t start my day without you teasing me and my favorite coffee to get through this.” — you can’t help but smile, she really knows how to highlight your day.

“Of course.” — Alice smiled. “How many patients do you have today? I think I need to make you two coffees.” — she remembered when yesterday you had 5 patients and you came back to the cafe to buy one extra coffee. You loved your job, but sometimes it was too much even for your professional head. Poor people, they don’t deserve to live with all of those traumas.

“Yes please. You’re an angel!” — you gave her a grateful look and agreed on her offer.

Now you have 30 minutes to eat your breakfast and the place was so packed, you were lucky to take the table the moment you walked into the cafe.

About halfway through enjoying your breakfast and making your schedule for tomorrow, you heard someone approaching you.

“Excuse me, I’m so sorry for disturbing you, but could I please sit with you? There’s no empty table and I think I will actually go nuts if I don’t eat.” — you raise your head and it was the most gorgeous man you have ever laid your eyes on. Pretty blue eyes, brown hair and the body of Greek God. Fuck, you stared too long, gotta answer quickly.

“Of course. I got you, this morning anger because of being hungry is not very cutesy.” — you laughed and pointed at the seat in front of you.

“Oh my god, yes! Thank you so much, my co-workers just got saved from my rudeness by…” — he sat down and didn’t finish his sentence so you could tell him your name.

“I’m (Y/N), nice to meet you. Happy to help, we don’t want to give your co-workers some traumas.” — you chuckled. God, you can’t forget about your work even when you have free time.

“That’s very true.” — he laughed. “I’m Evan, but you can call me Buck.” — the way he smiled… This image definitely won’t leave your head.

Suddenly, everything went dark. It’s like there was only one lamp that shined on your table. Buck started crying. You never heard any man cry like this. So much pain, desperation and suffering. With his head on his hands, you could see how his shoulders trembled with every cry.

He raised his head and looked into your eyes with so much sadness.

“Please, come back to me.”

Darkness. You move your finger. Why can you move ONLY your finger? What’s going on? It doesn’t feel right. You can’t see, you can’t move, you can’t speak and hear. Just darkness.

You open the door. Here he is, in all of his glory. Your partner, your love, your friend and your boyfriend in one person.

“Okay, I got every snack you like, you ready for our movie night?” — there’s a big bag of goods in front of Buck and he’s smiling like The Cheshire Cat.

You smile and pull him into the kiss. The sweetest kiss you have ever had. The best lips you have ever tasted. You already knew it would end up being Netflix & Chill.

“I missed you so much.” — you say into his lips and he gives you one more kiss before leading you to the couch.

You sat on the couch immediately getting trapped in his embrace. You didn’t mind at all. There’s no place in the world where you would rather be.

“Did you pick a movie? It’s your turn today, baby.” — you loved your tradition when at least 2-3 times a week you have movie nights. Last time you watched a movie called… You actually can’t remember, making love to each other sounded better after 15 minutes into the movie.

“Yes.” — he makes you look into his face. “Come back to me.”

Darkness. What the fuck is going on? You can feel you squeeze someone’s hand but you can’t see anything. Is that some kind of dream? More like a nightmare actually. Why are you getting pulled out of the most happiest moments of your life?

Buck. You feel so scared without him, you feel so alone. You want to scream “I’m here!”, but not a single word comes out of your mouth. That must be some kind of horrible joke.

You look into the mirror one more time and notice Buck staring at you with a smile.

“Okay, baby, first of all — you know you can stare and touch.” — you said with a smirk and Buck immediately made his way over you. He put his hands on your waist and yours gently fell on his neck. “Secondly, remind me again why we’re gathering in the middle of the week?”

You took a day off, because Buck was convincing you that no one has any other free day and only today they can all meet up together. Honestly, you loved being at Bobby’s and Athena’s house, especially when everyone was there too. Eddie with Christopher, Hen with Karen, Chim with Maddie. It’s like having a second family and you were grateful that they accepted you and loved you as much as Buck loves you.

“(Y/N), I told you it’s the only day when everyone is actually free.” — he said and kissed you. “And to be honest, I just wanted one more day off for you, you were working your ass off past weeks.”

True. For some reason you took more patients than usual and it was exhausting two weeks. Buck is always worried when you overwork yourself, so you didn’t hesitate long when he asked you to take a day off, you felt like you needed that too.

The evening was going great. Everyone is talking, laughing, dancing and eating. It was the most fun days when you all meet up together and Buck knew you loved it. So when Buck asked everyone to give him a little attention, you giggled, because usually it was the beginning of Buck doing something funny.

“Yeah, I know you all are probably expecting me to do a back flip.” — everyone laughed. “But today is a bit different. Not gonna lie, probably it was the hardest task in my life to keep everything a secret.” — you furrowed your brows, what secret?

But Buck continued.

“(Y/N), can you stand next to me, please?” — you’re confused, but you did what he asked. “My love, I know you’re confused and probably thinking that I had too many drinks. And I might be drunk, but I’m drunk in love. The moment I saw you in that cafe, I knew I couldn’t lose you. Honestly, the waitress said that there will be an empty table in 5 minutes, but I still chose to sit with you. Because how could I not?”

You started to realize. Is he… proposing? The love of your life is proposing to you?

“Buck…” — you could feel tears forming in the corners of your eyes.

“Baby, I can’t imagine my life without you and can’t even remember my life before you, that’s how well you filled all the missing pieces. So…” — Buck got on one knee, pulled a pretty little velvet box out of his pocket and asked the most important question that you didn’t even know you needed to hear. “Will you make me the happiest man alive and be my wife?” — you froze, tears started streaming down your cheeks. All the love you had for Buck just got 10 times stronger.

“Yes!” — you smiled happily and fell on your knees to kiss Buck.

He pulled the ring out of the box, carefully placing it on your finger and looked into your eyes.

“Then please, (Y/N)… Come back to me.”

Darkness. Honestly, you’re getting tired of this. You either died or got trapped in the most fucked up dream. And knowing that you don’t really have dreams, there’s only one option left. Are you actually dying? This can’t be real, right?

In the past 3 years your life has finally fallen into the right places. You met Buck, work was going great, you’re supposed to marry the love of your life… You cannot miss that. “Till death do us apart” doesn’t mean that you have to die so soon. You need to come back!

“My love, I know you probably don’t hear me, but I can’t do it without you.” — you heard the echo in this pitch blackness. It was Buck. “We had so much ahead of us, do you remember? We wanted to buy the house, I wanted to surprise you with the best honeymoon, we wanted to start trying on our own bab-“ — his voice broke, you heard sobs.

Your breathing has become heavier. You could feel your chest rising. Can you just open your eyes? You can’t leave Buck like this, you can’t leave your new family. You need to come back, you had so much ahead of you. Wedding, kids, travels, joy, being a wife and mother.

You heard another echo.

“Please, baby, just please come back to me…”

NOW! YOU NEED TO WAKE UP!

You could feel your eyes trembling. Darkness was replaced by white light. Heaven? There is definitely no smell of medicines in heaven.

Slowly, you open your eyes. So slow that it doesn't scare away reality.

The first image you see when you open your eyes and move your head to your right is Buck. He squeezes your hand with his head almost on the hospital bed. He’s still sobbing. It broke your heart into a million pieces. He didn’t deserve to go through this.

“Buck…” — you whisper. You can’t talk any louder, because your mouth is so dry. But he heard you.

Buck raised his head and met your eyes. You’re awake. You’re actually awake. One moment he was in hell, now he’s praising God for bringing you back.

“You came back…” — he smiled with his puffy eyes.

“How could I not? I heard you wanted me back at least four times.” — you chuckled tiredly, making jokes was your defense mechanism against difficulties.

“I thought I lost you, these 4 days were the hardest time of my entire life…” — he wanted to continue, but you interrupted him.

“4 days? W-what happened?” — you couldn’t believe it, you were out for 4 days.

“The building where you work collapsed. There was a mistake made when designing the building and it just fucking collapsed. I found you under the concrete slabs.”

Of course he was the one who rescued you. Your hero. On one hand you were happy that it’s him who saved you, but on the other he probably blames himself for not doing more, for not providing the proper safety. But let’s be honest, he did everything he could and you’re so grateful for that.

“Thank you for saving me.” — tears falling down your cheeks and you’re just happy to be back to him. To your lifeline.

He didn’t say anything, just got up and placed the most gentle kiss on your lips. Almost like he was afraid he could break you and you would vanish, that’s why you placed your hand on his cheek as a confirmation that you’re really here with him.

“So, what’s the best honeymoon you wanted to surprise me with?” — you said into his lips.

“You really heard everything?” — he asked confusedly, you giggled and kissed him once more.

Time to make more memories together.

[trippinsorrows]

looking through your eyes + nine

authors note: i know i've said this before, but this one might be my favorite. there are a few subtle hints spread throughout as well.....

i also listened to the song i named the story after while writing most of this chapter, so maybe recommended listening?

if any cw/tw’s are missed, please let me know, and i will add them!

cw/tw: fluff, angst, language, inebriation, character being triggered, references to past csa, and suggestive themes

song inspo: ‘looking through your eyes’ by leann rimes

masterlist

words: 12k (i can't be stopped, clearly)

And I see a girl Who is learning to trust

---Leann Rimes

In many ways, Roman is a simple man. The kind that believes obvious gestures, actions, or even lack of inaction should speak for itself. That there are some things that are just so clear as day, it doesn’t make sense for him to have to explain himself. 

For him to have to repeat himself. 

Well, that’s gone out the window as of recent months, because he’s constantly found himself having to do just that. And his day is starting off no different with a surprising and unwanted guest showing up at his office demanding to speak to him.

Bayley stands across his desk with her arms crossed and an almost glare on her face. “I’ve been texting you.”

The fact that she even has his number is an issue in and of itself, but he’ll tackle that another day. “I’m aware.”

The avoiding of said texts is that obvious thing that she seemingly doesn’t understand the why behind. 

Bayley nods, very visibly keeping in a comment she’s at least smart enough to not make to the head of the Bloodline. Friend of his wife, or not. “Well, I would like to talk to you.”

Roman rolls his eyes, moving up from his desk to his filing cabinet to swap out expense reports he was trying to review before her rude, unwanted interruption. “I bet you would.”

“Seriously?” Ignoring her once again is the plan, Roman hoping that’s all it takes so that he doesn’t have to lose his temper before he even has his first meeting of the day. “It’s about Solana.”

And that is what finally catches Roman’s attention. He’s quick to turn around, expression suddenly hardened. “Talk.” She has his full attention. “Now.” 

Bayley takes note of how easily it is to gather Roman’s attention with the simple mention of Solana. It’s surprising to say the least and telling as hell to say the most, but she keeps this little observation to herself. 

“We’re having a Cinco De Mayo celebration at my family’s restaurant tomorrow night.”

“What does that have to do with Solana?”

Roman watches her hesitate for a second. “I want to invite her.”

For a split second, Bayley thinks she may have hit a stroke of luck when Roman doesn’t immediately shoot down her request. He seems to actually be thinking about it. And then he asks the question she knew would be the nail in the coffin. “Will Escobar be there?”

She’d like to just say no, as it’s highly unlikely he will attend, Bayley unsure if her cousin is even in the country. But, lying to the man before her has never turned out well for anyone, so she answers as honestly as she can. “I don’t know. You know he pops up at random times—”

Roman doesn’t even need to hear the rest. “My answer is no.”

She can’t be too surprised. Bayley wisely anticipated getting Roman to budge would be damn near impossible, if not entirely impossible.

“Roman—”

“Why the fuck would I allow her to be anywhere around that son of a bitch?”

To be fair, Roman’s relationship with Santos Escobar is tamer than most. They’re not allies, certainly not friends, and he doesn’t hate the man. It irritates him a bit how Escobar is a stubborn bastard and refuses to pledge loyalty and allegiance to the Bloodline, but that anger is eased by the fact that Escobar gives an even bigger middle finger to the Nightmare Factory.

His loyalty is to himself and the Legado Del Fantasma. That makes him a wildcard and potentially dangerous.

Roman won’t have Solana anywhere where danger could be present.

“You know as well as I do that while both you and my cousin have this weird ass Qué en es más macho thing going on, there’s all but a ceasefire. You've never attacked one of his men the same way he’s never attacked anyone in the Bloodline. That’s not going to change overnight just because your wife is present at a chorcha.”

Roman isn’t too full of himself to admit when someone has made a valid point, but as this involves Solana, the standards are a bit different. He won’t give Bayley that much. “Why should I even take the chance? You want to do something with Solana, take her somewhere else that’s on Bloodline or neutral territory.”

“My family’s restaurant is on neutral territory.” Bayley is happy to have another point of his she can counter. “And contrary to what the average, ignorant American thinks, Cinco De Mayo is an important part of our culture and our heritage, Solana’s heritage. I think she would really enjoy herself, that it would….that it would help her feel close to her mom.”

Roman is excellent in the way he remains absolutely unreadable even at Bayley’s point that has him seriously reconsidering his prior answer.

He has no doubt that would help her feel connected with her mom, being around reminders and in a space that’s so representative of half of who she is, who her mother was. He can’t see her not enjoying herself, which is something that doesn’t seem to happen a lot in her life thus far.

Just as he continues to mull over the options, Bayley adds on another defense. “I get where you’re coming from with the safety angle, but I’ll be there and Naomi will be there. Between the two of us, no one will touch her.”

Roman easily reads between the lines and identifies her unspoken request. “You don’t want Solo there.”

On one hand, he can understand it. Bayley not wanting his Enforcer there. Solo’s presence could be seen as him potentially scoping versus the real reason of serving as Solana’s personal guard.

Bayley doesn’t seem to be backing down, reminding with all the confidence in the world of her capabilities. “Like I said, Naomi and I got this.”

Roman will give her that. Bayley and Naomi could fight on his team any day. They’re just as brutal as the men, if not more when pushed. He knows they’d be able to keep Solana safe if need be. It’s that realization as well as the concern of depriving her of something that could make her happy that brings him to a revised answer.

“Fine, she can go.” Roman is quick to add on as an ominous warning, borderline threat, “but if anything fucking happens to her while she’s with you—”

“It won’t,” Bayley vows. “She’s our friend, and she’s family to Naomi. We look out for each other.”

Roman believes that. Believes that Bayley has seemingly pledged a loyalty to Solana that matches that of Naomi, and while he’d never fucking tell her this, he’s grateful she has someone like Bayley to talk to.

At his fill of socialization with people he doesn’t like, Roman is quick with the dismissal. “If you don’t have anything else to discuss with me about Solana, you can get the hell out of my office.”

Bayley is actually surprised she made it this long without being kicked out, so it’s under her breath she mutters, “a true gentleman.” She’s halfway to his door when manners get the best of her. “Hey, Roman.”

He’s back at his desk, gaze as irritated as when she first stepped in. “What?”

With a nod of respect and appreciation, she simply says, “thank you.” Whatever his response, or lack thereof, is after that is unknown because Bayley is out the door and on her way to invite Solana to what is sure to be a night of fun.

________

“Man, I tell you every dish Solana makes seems to get better and better.” Jimmy is rubbing his stomach as he places the now cleaned plate on the coffee table. “Where she been at all our lives?”

Once upon a time, Roman had a nice, quiet house that was his and his alone. Now though, it’s shared with a wife who really isn’t an issue, two obnoxious cousins who need to start paying rent at this point, and a dog who’s currently at the sliding door leading to the backyard having a one-sided bark off with a squirrel.

“Why are ya’ll always fucking over here?” Roman’s question is said with all the irritation manifesting in his muscular body. At the same time, he stands up from the sofa to retrieve the puppy he doesn’t feel like yelling at to shut up. 

She might piss herself in fear or something.

“Come on,” he grunts, leaning over and taking up Dulce who is almost instantly quiet. “Making all that damn noise for nothing.”

Roman places Dulce in her bed in the living room and returns to his previous seat on the sofa when she hops up and walks her ass right over to lean up on the sofa to stare at him with her unspoken request.

Jimmy is the first to notice this. “I think lil Nacho Libre likes you, Uce.”

Jey chimes in between bites of whatever Solana’s latest dish is that she’s made for them. “She know English yet or Soso still got her only speaking Spanish?”

“Man, the dog can’t speak.”

“You know what I mean, motherfucker. Damn.”

Roman ignores the two imbeciles currently freeloading in his house and relents to just letting Dulce on the sofa. He’s not sure why she’s downstairs with them instead off on the second level where the girls are getting ready, but she’s already here now, so no sense in transporting her. 

Dulce seems satisfied with her placement right next to him. 

“I still can’t believe we weren’t invited.”

“I can get why they didn’t invite us, but they could have at least given Nicki an invite.”

Jimmy is quick with the obvious answer. “You know Nicki don’t fuck with Naomi like that, or Bayley, and definitely not Soso.”

“Cause she’s fucking psychotic.” Roman has zero issues with his cousin’s wife having little to no interest in getting to know Solana. It’s for the better. As he said, the bitch is psychotic.

“Once again, Big Dog, you ain’t gon keep disrespecting my wife like that.”

Roman is as unfazed by Jey’s threat as Dulce is. 

“I gotta agree with Uce on that one. Nicki ass crazy as hell. One minute she love you, the next minute she pulling a Left Eye and burning your shit.” That emits a chuckle from him. His cousin's sneaker collection being burned in the backyard that one year was pretty funny. 

“Look, that was during a rough patch. That’s all.”

“Damn bruh, ya’ll must got a whole goddamn quilt then, cause your relationship been nothing but rough patches since we was in high school.”

“So what, you and Naomi never have no issues, huh?” Jey lives up to his hotheaded reputation, jumping into defensive mode. “Ya’ll just got the perfect marriage, right?”

“Of course we got issues, man, but never to the point where she turned into a lil arsonist!”

Completely disinterested in hearing dumb and dumber argue, Roman grabs his phone and shoots out a text.

Roman: You almost ready?

Solana’s reply comes in less than five minutes later.

Solana: Just about…..is Dulce by you?

Roman: Yeah. Sleeping….as always.

Solana: Lol….sorry about that, I meant to grab her before we got started.

Roman: It’s fine.

Roman: I need to talk to you before you leave.

He’s not surprised by the longer time it takes for her to reply. He can imagine she’s reading too much into his text.

Solana: Okay....I can come now?

Solana: I just have to put my shoes on….

Roman: I’ll come to you.

Roman knows better than to ask the bumbling idiots to watch Dulce. Their attention span when they get this heated is almost non-existent, so he opts to just take her upstairs with him, figuring he can deposit her in her bed in Solana’s room and that’ll be it for the night. 

One down.

Two more to get rid of.

Roman is standing outside of Solana’s door ready to knock when it’s ripped open, and he’s met with an instantly smiling Naomi. 

She’s smiling at the damn dog, of course.

“There you are, Dulce.” Roman has no issue whatsoever with letting her take the puppy, talking to it in that weird ass baby voice everyone seems to use around Dulce. He doesn’t get it, but it’s not something he desires to try to get anyway. Naomi calls out over her shoulder, “I’m gonna take her out to pee.”

Bayley shouts from inside the room, “I’ll come with you.”

Roman also has zero issues with that as well. He wants to be alone with Solana before she heads out.

Naomi is heading to the steps when Bayley walks past him, throwing out a rushed, “tell her she looks nice.”

That’s a given, but he gives her a nod, easily stepping in and closing the door behind him. He looks around the room, eyes settling on the connected bathroom where the door is suddenly swung open.

“Guys, are you sure I should wear—” Solana stops when she sees that Bayley and Naomi are no longer present, just him. “Oh, sorry, I thought—never mind.”

Roman would call her out on her apologies, both in the text and just now, but his attention is on something entirely different. 

Solana is fucking stunning.

Her dress is orange, thin sleeved and hugs her in a way that makes his jaw clench and dick stiffen. It’s more low cut in the front than he knows she’s probably comfortable with, but if anything, it accentuates just how fucking nice her chest is. There’s a slight split on the side of said dress that shows off her thighs, thick and soft to the touch, he’d imagine. She also has her hair down, something he hasn’t seen in some time, makeup that covers the scar, and lips painted in a teasing red. 

Roman has to catch himself because for a brief second, he’s tempted to completely change his mind. She looks too good to leave the house, especially without him present because there’s not a single doubt in his mind that she’ll turn heads.

She always does. 

Finally, he’s able to get words to leave his mouth that aren’t as filthy as the thoughts he’s trying to keep locked in the back of his mind. “Jesus, you look amazing.”

Roman has noticed an increasingly difficult time in restraining himself around Solana, not in the sense where he’d completely ignore her trauma and try to touch her in a way that would trigger her. Never that. More so in the way he fantasizes about her in that way, dreams of having her in that way, solely because of his growing physical attraction.

Granted, it’s always been there. 

Anyone could see her beauty even in how she would dress down and try to hide her figure, but now that Naomi and Bayley have been encouraging her to be less conservative in her appearance, it’s increased that difficulty exponentially. 

“Thank you.” The makeup on Solana’s cheeks helps to mask her growing blush at Roman’s unabashed compliment. She suddenly looks down, nervously running her hand down the dress. “Is it….is it too much?” 

Not at all. He might not want anyone else looking at her, but Roman could see her dress like this everyday and never grow tired. Still, his approval isn’t needed nor should she ever look for it. “Do you think it is?”

“I always think it’s too much.” It’s an honest answer, one that’s followed up with a caveat he’s surprised but pleased to hear. “But….but, I do like it.”

“Then that’s all that matters.”

Solana’s smile does something to him. She looks even more beautiful when she’s smiling. “Look….” Roman steps closer to her, trying to ignore her perfume, sweet and soft, a dangerous combination that matches her perfectly. “You need anything tonight, you call or text me, alright?” 

She nods and asks. “What about Solo? Isn’t—isn’t that his job?”

It’s not a conscious in as much it is a unconscious thing when he steps even closer to her, moving his hand to the small of her back. Roman gently tugs her toward him, and to his surprise, she doesn’t tense under his touch. “You’re my wife, Solana. My job is always to protect you. He just guards you when I can’t.”

She looks like she’s trying to memorize this piece of information, storing it for future use as necessary knowledge. “Do—do you want to come with us?” Solana’s hand resting on his chest is as surprising as her question. “I could talk to Bayley.”

Roman has never been a social person. To say he hates most people isn’t necessarily an exaggeration. So, the thought of being around a bunch of people he doesn’t know or like outside of Solana and maybe Bayley—she’s not entirely awful—is not appealing as well. That doesn’t stop him, however, from considering the question at hand.

He’s tempted to ask her if she wants him to come, because Roman can find it in himself to withstand socialization for a couple hours. 

He’ll do it for her. 

But, there’s another part of him, a larger part of him that thinks she needs to do this on her own. That she needs to establish a life and something for herself that doesn’t include him. It’ll be good for her.

“No.” Is his final answer, delivered much gentler than if she was literally anyone else. Roman reaches and plays with a piece of her hair. “Not my scene. Too many people.” Not to mention that his presence would draw too much attention, potentially not good attention. He won’t do that to her. Won’t’ risk ruining her night. “Go. Have a good time.” Again, for good measure, he reminds, “but I mean it. Something is wrong. You call me.”

She nods, and he readies to remind her of his need for words when she answers, “okay.” She then adds on, “I already gave Dulce dinner, so she should mostly sleep, but if you could take her outside every so often….”

“I got it.” He’d much rather sacrifice the couple minutes it takes to bring her outside than risk her shitting or pissing somewhere in his house. Granted, he has to give credit where credit is due. She’s doing great with her potty training. Solana takes great care of her, but that’s not surprising. It’s obvious how much she loves the puppy. “You should be back by midnight, though.”

It’s more a strong suggestion than a demand. Solana is a grown woman. He’s not going to dictate what she does and doesn’t do. She’s had enough of that in her life. He had to give his approval for her to go with Bayley because of safety issues, but this, he wants to leave up to her as long as she understands the later she’s out, the riskier things can get.

After a certain time, only bad or not so great things can happen.

“Of course.” She seems to understand this clearly, but he’d also bet that’s her preference to be back earlier than later. Solana grabs her purse and walks towards the door, having to pass him in the process. Roman catches her, arm around her waist. 

She looks up, curious, and he makes note of how she again doesn’t tense under his touch. That’s happening less and less, it seems. 

He likes that. 

“Text me when you get there.”

She smiles, and Roman suddenly feels a layer of his irritation with his cousins melt away. “I will.” Solana gives him one more glance before walking out the room. 

Roman scratches his beard, a part of him wondering if he made the right decision to let her go alone. Granted, he knows he would have never even initially agreed if he didn’t trust Bayley and Naomi’s abilities. 

They’d defend Solana as ruthlessly and violently as any of his best men.

That helps to chip away some of his second guessing along with the fact that this is something she clearly wants, and he wants to give her that. Give her anything he can that makes her happy. 

She deserves that much.  

Granted, that temporary peace is short-lived with the shout from one of his cousins who are apparently still present. 

“Ayo, Big Dog, did you change the WiFi password again!”

________

Roman needs a new house.

Maybe have Solana let him know what she likes as far as interior designing goes and have something built with an impenetrable wall around it.

That seems to be the only thing that will keep his annoying ass twin cousins from being at his place so much.

Roman just knew that when the ladies left, they’d leave too. But no, that’s too good to be true, because they’ve been gone almost an hour, and their asses are still here.

Even Dulce is sleeping peacefully like the unemployed bum that she is in her bed kept in the living room. 

And as always with them, they’ve been talking damn near the whole hour. One would think Roman straight up ignoring them as he works on his laptop would be a clear sign they need to go the hell home, but that would be too much like right.

He either needs an Excedrin or for his cousins to leave, the latter being preferred most. It’s especially needed when they seem to be watching whatever dumb ass Tok or Reel video over and over again. 

“Wait. I know that song,” Jey announces, face scrunched up as he tries to recall the name. All Roman knows is that it’s in Spanish and repetitive as hell on top of being played on repeat. Annoying as hell too. “That lil freak from Miami I used to mess with used to have this shit playing at her crib all the time.”

Jimmy sucks his teeth, asking. “What happened to her?”

“Man, she moved.” Jey shrugs. “She went to go be a freak in Cali.” 

Finally, Roman snaps. “Would ya’ll use some damn headphones or something?”

Jimmy is the first to speak. “You might want to watch this, Uce.”

“I don’t care.”

Jey slaps Jimmy on the arm, knowing how to get his cousin’s attention. “Yeah, why would he want to see a video of Solana?”

At that, Roman lifts his gaze.

Jimmy smirks knowingly. “Naomi sent some videos. Check your phone.”

That would explain it. Why Roman was out of the loop. It wasn’t from Solana. 

He’d selected a specific text and ringtone notification for her, so he wouldn’t be unnecessarily checking his phone. Hence why he hasn’t checked it since she text that they’d made it to the restaurant.

Opening up the thread that has himself, Naomi, and the twins, he sees the set of messages and videos.

Naomi: Having a blast! Solana especially. I kinda feel like the odd one out cause clearly I don’t know none of these dances 😩 I kinda got the Bachata one, but Merengue and Punta are killing me.

Naomi: Bay and Solana keep trying to teach me, but it’s not going well lmao

Roman watches them all. Every video shows Solana smiling and laughing as she dances with Bayley and Naomi. One of the videos shows her and Bayley trying to instruct Naomi who seems to be failing miserably at learning what he’d guess are traditional Hispanic dances. There’s even a clip of her trying to help a little girl learn whatever dance they’re doing, and she looks just as patient as he’s seen her with the kids she reads to at the library.

She looks fucking gorgeous and happy.

He likes that for her. After everything she’s been through, she deserves all of the happiness.

But, it’s in watching the last video with the song that he kept hearing on loop from his cousin’s phone that he understands why they have it on repeat.

It’s a different kind of dance Bayley and Solana do together along with other women he doesn’t know or give two fucks about. What he gives a fuck about and focuses in entirely on is the way Solana’s hips and ass move, rhythmically, teasingly, drawing out an uncomfortable tightening in his pants.

Fuck. 

Roman does his best to push his erotic thoughts away, still trying to figure out how to balance his sexual desire for Solana with the knowledge of her sexual trauma. It almost feels wrong, to feel and want her in that way when he knows how traumatizing that subject is for her. It doesn’t stop the desire though.

“Damn, I knew it had to move, just not like that.” 

“Like water.”

It’s probably a combination of his pent up usual, general and sexual frustration, but the dangerously slow way Roman lifts his head and equally slow way he sets his murderous gaze on his cousins is all they need to see to know they’ve gone too far.

And they know it.

Jimmy is instantly on damage control. “I meant—Bayley—you know, cause she—she’s also thick.”

Jey coughs awkwardly, hitting Jimmy on the arm. “I think, uh, we should—we should head out.” And Roman is just as slowly rising from the sofa when the twins literally almost trip over their feet and make a mad dash for the door. 

It takes a couple minutes for him to calm down, and he too suddenly finds himself watching said video, casually commenting to Dulce, “about time they fucking left.”

Dulce barks in agreement. 

________

Solana laughs along with Bayley and Naomi as they plop down in their seats after an almost four minute song of full out merengue. All are reaching for their respective drinks as Bayley playfully nudges Solana. 

“Aren’t you glad you came?”

Just then, Juanita Escobar walks over, Bayley’s mother who carries the same dimple and friendly disposition. She places her hand on Solana’s back, reminding in Spanish, “you must come back and see us again!”

Solana smiles, agreeing, “I will.” She then looks over at Bayley. “If that’s okay?”

Bayley waves her off. “Are you kidding? With how soft and girly you are, you can come be my replacement any time” 

Juanita glares at her youngest, muttering to Solana, “maybe you can rub off on my Bay, hmm? Never wanted to do girl stuff. Always wanted to fight with the boys.”

Bayley chugs back some of her drink. “Hell yeah.”

Solana thinks she’d prefer the fighting too. Maybe then she could have defended herself better. Defended her mom even.

Juanita shakes her head, looking at Solana. “Yes, come again, child. You look so much like someone, but I can’t put my hand on it. I’m sure my husband would know. He knows everyone.”

That doesn't necessarily make Solana want to come back, meeting someone, a man specifically. However, if he’s anything like Bayley or Juanita, maybe…maybe it won’t be so bad.

And maybe…maybe she could ask Roman to come with her. That’d make her feel moderately to significantly better. Safer, even.

Juanita is soon pulled away from the table by a customer at the same moment Solana’s phone rings.

Roman: You good?

Solana: Yes. 

She bites down on her lip, contemplating if she should hit send on her message. It feels like a risky thing to say, but it’s also how she feels.

And he’s always telling her to be honest with him.

So she is. 

Solana: Kinda wish you would have came.

Her fingers nervously tap against the table as she wait for his reply that ends up coming almost immediately. 

Roman: That’s your world. Not mine.

Roman: Do you not feel safe?

Solana: No, not that. I guess…...Nvm.

Roman: Tell me.

Again, more hesitation, and she’s not entirely sure where this desire to be honest and almost vulnerable with him comes from, but she does her best not to push it away, almost welcoming the slight discomfort that comes with sending such a risky text.

Solana: Idk, I feel better when you’re around. 

He doesn’t reply after that.

Bayley and Naomi share a knowing expression, having watched Solana quietly for the past few minutes. Naomi ends up being the one to lead the conversation. “So how are things going with Roman?”

The question takes her off guard, Solana trying her best to think just how to handle said question.

Roman no longer confuses her. Not nearly as much as her feelings about him confuse her. 

She wasn’t lying. She does feel better when she’s around him. And it’s not even that she feels unsafe currently. It’s just that he makes her feel safe in general. That’s such a foreign concept. One she hasn’t experienced in such a long time. 

If ever.

Because the truth of the matter is that while Solana felt an indescribable amount of happiness with her mother, there was never really safety. Not with her father’s wrath always waiting around the corner.

So while this is new and unfamiliar, it’s also nice, and she finds herself enjoying his presence. She likes being around him beyond the safety aspect. The way he talks to and with her, like he genuinely enjoys their conversations. When he meets her for work and asks how her day was or finds her in the house to see how her day was, it makes her feel like he actually cares about what she has to say.

Like he actually cares about her.

It’s such a stark contrast of how she sees him interact with others. Always on edge, it seems. 

He’s never made her feel that way though. Maybe at the beginning, but that’s starting to feel less like anything he’s done and more like her own trauma.

Trauma….

That’s also been an interesting experience. For the past few weeks, she’s worked out of The Courage to Heal, reading every page as instructed. And it’s been….an emotional time, to say the least. Definitely tears. A lot of them. Mostly shed in the middle of the night when she can’t sleep or on the bathroom floor as she sits against the tub, reading and writing, Dulce right beside her, offering that unspoken emotional support.

It’s been therapeutic and challenging and awful having to confront her demons but also freeing in a strange sort of way. Especially the poems. The words of other victims who express so eloquently and hauntingly beautifully what she still cannot. 

One of the things she’s really latched onto and tries to remind herself of is that there are different kinds of touch. Because of the assault, her brain has naturally associated any kind of touch as dangerous, which isn’t always true. Especially in the past few months. 

So, there’s been a conscious and active effort to remind herself when Naomi and Bayley hug her or playfully bump her, that it��s safe. That she’s safe.

Especially….especially with Roman.

Especially with how touch between them has seemed to also increase over the past couple weeks. Or maybe less increase in levels and more in frequency. She’ll find his hand on the small of her back, or him taking her hand in his, and sometimes, if they’re close enough, Solana also finds herself reaching for him, for his hand, her hand on his chest.

It’s all so innocent in presentation but something much deeper for her. A level of comfort she’s developed with him that she never had in any prior relationship. 

She likes it.

She likes him.

“Solana.” 

Jumping at being pulled from her inner dialogue, Solana remembers the initial question being posed. 

She clears her throat, finally answering, “umm….good. It’s—it’s good.”

“He’s not being an ass to you, is he?” She asks, almost protectively. “I mean outside of the natural ass that he always is.”

Immediately, Solana is shaking her head, almost feeling a duty to defend him. “No. No. He–he would never. He’s….always nice to me.”

Bayley nearly spits out her drink. “Nice?” She coughs a bit, also shaking her head. “Are we still talking about Roman here? Roman Reigns? That man has never been nice a day in his life.”

Naomi shrugs. “I mean, she has a point. I don’t think I’ve seen him be cruel to her.”

Cruel….Solana also could never find it in her to use that word to describe Roman’s disposition towards her. Maybe others, but never her.

Bayley sits on Naomi’s point, suddenly sharing to the table, “you know what, now that you mention it, when I went to go ask him if I could invite you tonight, he was ready to bite my head off for bothering him. But, the minute I said it had something to do with you, he was all ears. Like an instant switch.”

Solana is also all ears, slightly intrigued. “Really?” Doubt and insecurity creeps in as she weakly suggests, “he was probably like that with Samantha too.”

At that, Bayley and Naomi laugh aloud, Naomi nearly in tears.

“Now that is funny. Solana, Roman don’t give a fuck about that girl. Not outside of sex.”

Solana must look unconvinced, so Bayley points out, “think about it. She’s been around for years, and it’s not her he took down the aisle, so…..” She then adds, “arranged marriage or not.”

The girls bringing up their points takes Solana back to her run-in with Samantha in the bathroom and Nia’s jaw-dropping information. 

An idea appears, and Solana is instantly torn on whether to pursue or pop it. Something tells her it’s a bad idea, that she should take his information to the grave, but there’s also that side that feels like she can trust Bayley and Naomi to keep it between the three of them.

Sitting forward, Solana decides to take a risk. “Can I—can I tell you guys something?” Nervously, she stipulates, “but it has to stay between us.”

They look expectedly worried. “Solana, if it has something to do with your safety—”

“No, no that.” Solana almost feels confident enough to say that she’d go to Roman if that was the case. She trusts that she could talk to him if it was something like that.

“Of course, then.”

“Solana, you can tell us anything.”

And for some reason, she knows this to be true. It’s why she battles against her trepidation to open up. “It’s—ummm. I….I found out that when….when Roman was…..having sex with Samantha, he….” There’s a pause caused by the discomfort of such a discussion, but Solana manages to push through. “He said my name.”

Both Bayley and Naomi wear shocked expressions, the former of the two whispering harshly, “holy shit, what?”

Bayley then asks, “wait, how do you know?”

“Nia told me.” Solana has zero desire to wholly revisit that night in the bathroom with Samantha, so she only provides the important part. “She said that Samantha told her friend, I guess. T something?”

“Tiffy.” Bayley rolls her eyes. “Makes sense. That girl can’t hold water.”

“I don’t get it then. He obviously was imagining it was you and not Samantha, so why go fuck her and not you?”

Naomi’s question makes all the sense, but Solana doesn’t really know how to tackle it. This conversation is already difficult enough for her. 

But her face must give it away, Bayley seemingly putting two and two together.

“You two haven’t slept together…..have you?” Solana simply shakes her head, unable to verbally confirm and slightly mortified that it’s reached this level of detail. 

Solana is certain they must have a million thoughts floating around their head, starting with the how and why. That part…..that part she doesn’t know if she is ready to discuss.

An ironic thing considering she’s just started the chapter in her workbook on sharing her story with trusted people. 

The irony.

But instead of invasive questions that heighten her anxiety, Naomi places a comforting hand on her arm. 

“Look, I’ve known Roman my whole life, and the guy has been a dick the entire time. He would never hurt a woman, I know that, but he’s also never given a fuck about any of them either. So for him to be the way he is with you when you two haven’t even had sex……there’s something there, Solana.”

“I agree,” Bayley cosigns, saying what Solana has struggled to admit even to herself. “I think he really does like you. In his own Roman sort of way.”

Solana can’t deny the fact that it’s getting increasingly difficult to push away that possibility, even if she still can’t understand the why.

Just what has she done to deserve him liking her? 

Maybe it’s not like. Maybe he just tolerates her better than he does others for some reason. Whatever it is, she can’t negate the fact that it must mean something if Naomi, who’s known him her whole life, believes that something is there.

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom.” Solana just needs to get away. Just for a couple minutes. This conversation took a turn she wasn’t expecting, and she needs to settle her emotions. 

Bayley seems cautious. “Want me to come with you?”

“No.” The rejection is paired with a kind smile. “I’ll just be a few minutes.”

And before she can get any pushback, Solana makes her way through the dancing crowd and to the back restroom that she’s grateful to see is vacant. Closing and locking the bathroom door, she goes straight for the mirror.

Despite the unexpected amount of dancing and slight sweat, she still looks relatively the same. 

The same….

Same.

Even with the makeup and tight little dress, she’s still the same person. She’ll go home tonight, take off the makeup and remove the dress to find the same damaged, scarred girl who can never have something like what Jimmy and Naomi have.

Even if Roman does like her, it won’t last. 

She can’t please him. 

She could never make Roman happy, could never truly satisfy him, satisfy his needs.

She’s too broken for that.

It brings tears to her eyes.

Unable to withstand the sight of herself, Solana grabs a couple napkins to blow away her tears, tosses them out and heads out the bathroom. Instead of heading back to the table, Solana makes a beeline for the bar. 

She’s only had white wine, but white wine isn’t enough. She recognizes where her emotions are taking her, and it’s nowhere good. 

Solana refuses to ruin this night for Bayley and Naomi.

The bartender is a young girl, pretty, early to mid twenties. She asks in a friendly, deeply accented voice, “what can I get you?” 

Solana is naive to this, to the great array of alcoholic options that litter the counter before her, so she answers the best way she can. Thinking back to the few events she’d be forced to attend with her father and brother, the drinks she always heard people order before getting drunk.

“Vodka and Gin, p—please.”

________

Meanwhile, Bayley and Naomi sit at the table still partially stuck on this unexpected news. But also not entirely surprising. With how sittish Solana can be at times, they have a good, albeit depressing guess as to why sex hasn’t happened between them.

It does bring up a valid question though.

“Wasn’t the whole marriage for the purposes of giving Roman an heir? How is that—”

“Your guess is as good as mine,” Naomi murmurs. “But, I think we both know it’s obvious Solana has some trauma. Touch is clearly hard for her.”

“I know.” Bayley frowns. “I guess I’m just surprised Roman of all people has been so….patient with her.”

“You and me too.” Naomi blows out a breath before again reiterating what she said to Solana. “He must really like her.”

“It’s just hard to tell with him. He’s so damn stoic, but….I think you’re right. I think she likes him too. She’s just…..scared.” Fear is also something Solana deeply struggles with, though Bayley and Naomi both can recognize the progress she’s making towards overcoming those fears.

With a gasp, Naomi grabs her phone, directing Bayley. “Get your phone.” 

Bay is confused but follows suit just as Naomi says, “I know who may know.” 

Less than a minute later, Bayley’s phone dings with a text notification from a new group she’s in that includes herself, Naomi, Jimmy, and Jey.

Naomi: Sooooo, Bay and I were just talking, and between the four of us, how do you think Roman feels about Solana?

Bayley: And please be honest.

Bayley quickly ensures. “We’re not going to tell them what Solana said, right?”

“Hell no. We could never betray her trust like that.” Bayley is relieved but also not surprised. 

Naomi values loyalty just as much as she does. 

Jey: Man, I think he really like ole’ girl. Bruh got her a dog, seems to drop whatever he doing when she needs something, and I don’t think I ever heard him say nothing bad about her.

Jimmy: He was definitely annoyed at first when Soso had her lil breakdown at the Warehouse, but that didn’t last long at all. 

Bayley: Plus Roman is always annoyed with something or someone.

Naomi: Except her 👀

Jey: Why ya’ll ask?

Naomi: We think Solana really likes him too but is scared to push on it because of her past and just don’t want to encourage her to give it a chance if he’s just gonna hurt her. Ya’ll know how Roman is.

Bayley: A certified ASSHOLE. And a hoe. 

Bayley: But, it seems like that’s not the case with her.

Jimmy: I would say he definitely likes her too. 

Jey: I mean they are married so….

Naomi: It was arranged. That doesn’t count. 

Bayley: Do we know if he’s still fucking around? Primarily with Samantha since she’s been his go-to the past couple years?

Jimmy: I don’t think so. Matter of fact, I guess she said some smart shit to Soso in the bathroom on NoC and Big Dog wasn’t having it.

Jey: He’s apparently planning to pay her a lil visit….with Nia.

Naomi: Oh my god, is he finally gonna let Nia kill her?

Jimmy: Naw, just fuck her up real good, I think.

Naomi: Damn.

Bayley: That’s wild for him to cut her off like that after all this time. Def sounds like he likes Solana to me too…..

Jey: Ya’ll really think he about to admit that shit though?

Naomi: No more than she is. He’s stubborn, and she’s so insecure.

Jimmy: Ya’ll thinking what I’m thinking? 👀

*Jimmy changed the group chat name to Operation RoSo*

Naomi: Bae, what is this damn title?

Jimmy: It’s our latest covert operation. We gotta get Roman and Soso to admit they like each other!

Jey: And just how the hell is we supposed to do that? Like Bay said, Uce is an ass sometimes.

Bayley: All the time unless you’re Solana….

Naomi: I mean, not to be vain, but if you look like Roman, you can kinda get away with being an ass. To some extent.

Bayley: You’re not wrong. He is gorgeous. 😮‍💨

Jimmy: He alright, I guess. His ears kinda big.

Naomi: Bae, I love you, but let’s not lie. Your cousin is an asshole, yes, but he’s also fine as hell.

Bayley: That’s not the only thing said to be big…..

Naomi: Girl….

Bayley: They can’t all be lying.

Jey: ANYWAYS!

Jey: What if they’re coming together at they own pace and we should just leave shit alone? 

Jimmy: 😐

Jimmy: That’s about the dumbest fucking thing I done heard all day. What next you gon say, huh? That they just magically gon fall in love on their own too? No! They clearly need our help!

Naomi: Maybe less help and more a shove in the right direction?

Bayley: A gentle push!

Naomi: Yes!

Jey: All I know is if shit backfires, I’m not taking the heat for none of ya’ll asses. Ya’ll gon have to deal with Big Dog.

Jimmy: Then we’ll just put Solana in front of us. He can’t hurt us then!

Jimmy: See…..I’m smart with this shit. That’s why Imma be the brains of this operation.

________

“What do you mean she’s drunk?”

Roman’s night suddenly went from uneventful and quiet, his preference, to unexpected and infuriating, all with a walk from upstairs to downstairs where he finds Solana awkwardly standing in the living room. Bayley and Naomi wait at the bottom of the steps with nervous expressions.

Good.

They should be scared shitless, because one glance at Solana, the gloss over her eyes, and he can tell she’s all but wasted. 

“You were supposed to be watching her.” Roman is fucking irritated. He knew it was a bad idea to leave these two in charge of Solana.

Bayley, however, seems unbothered by his anger. “She’s not a child, Roman. Were we supposed to stop her from drinking too? We had no idea she asked for something stronger.”

It’s an excuse, and Roman doesn’t do excuses. “What happened?”

Naomi answers this time around. “We don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” One. They’re lying, and Roman hates liars. Two. They’re lying, and Roman has literally killed people for less. Three. They’re lying, and he wants to know why. “You’ve both got less than a minute to give me the truth—”

“Look, we talked about some things, and we promised to keep it between the three of us, so I’m not telling you what exactly it was, but I can tell you she’s not in danger.” Bayley is smart. She must know that he’d literally torture the information out of her if it had anything to do with Solana’s safety. 

“It was just…some stuff about her past. I think it may have been too much, and she decided to get drunk to not think about it.” Naomi’s suggestion makes sense and pans out, but Roman can’t stop thinking about just what she shared with them. 

Was it the rape? But why? He remembers her terror in the locker room that day, the fear and pain in her eyes and voice as she pleaded with him to not make her talk about it. It doesn’t make sense why she would suddenly share it.

Even with how close she seems to them.

“Just leave.”

Roman will deal with them later. Right now, his priority is getting Solana settled.

They seem to know better than to push his patience, asking that he at least keep them updated on how she’s doing in the morning.

He neither agrees or disagrees. It’ll heavily depend on how fucked up Solana is. 

Once they’re gone, Roman walks into the living room to find her laid on the sofa, eyes glazed over from her drunkenness but that same beautiful smile on her just as beautiful face.

“Solana.” She’s so gone that it makes him wonder even more again just how upset she must have been. “I need to get you to bed.”

He needs sleep too, feeling the length and weight of the day starting to take a toll.

She’s protesting almost right away. “I’m not t–tired.”

“Maybe not, but you will be tomorrow.” Roman knows she’s in for one hell of a hangover.

“I don’t—I don’t want to sleep.” She’s almost pouting, brows caved together as she stumbles through more words. Solana suddenly stands up, and he naturally moves closer to her, noticing the almost sway she does onto the floor. “I just—have bad dreams and—and you’re just—just gonna leave once I sleep anyw—way.”

“What do you mean by that?” He asks. Getting answers from a drunk person usually isn’t the best or smartest thing in the world, but something tells Roman that Solana is the type of drunk person who ends up spilling secrets. And he’s certain there’s a lot she’s probably still keeping in.

She then issues an unexpected accusation. “You—you’re—you’re gonna go be with Samantha—that’s who you want.”

Roman finds her question slightly ironic considering he’s been letting Samantha think she got away with whatever disrespectful shit she said to Solana on the Night of Champions. He’s letting her think she’s safe and waiting for the right moment to set her ass straight, Nia tagging along to deliver the physical message he can’t.

“Af–after all.” Solana continues, surprising him with her openness that’s most definitely fueled by her inebriation. “Why—why would you want me?” She points to herself, voice taking on a softer, vulnerable tone. “Why—why would anyone want me?”

He’s silent for a good minute, sitting on such a heavy question. “Is that really what you think?” It’s asked in a low voice, and he’s not entirely sure if it’s more him thinking aloud or if he genuinely wants to know if that is how she really views herself. 

She shakes her head, nodding in a way that further signifies how drunk she is. “It’s like you said, I’m mentally u–unstable.”

For a second, Roman’s confused, but he quickly thinks back to their wedding night, to his hurtful words to her. Words he’d give anything to take back now. 

With an almost frown, he acknowledges his fault. “I was wrong to say that to you, Solana. You are not that.” Truthfully, with all she’s been through, even if she was, he couldn’t fault her.

With a family like hers, she never had a fucking chance.

Solana seems almost confused by his apology, taking him back with the next thing that leaves her mouth. “Is it—is it true you—you said my name when you were with S—samantha?”

He definitely wasn’t expecting that, has no idea how she even knows that. Is that what Samantha told her in the bathroom? Why would she? It does nothing to make her look good. Regardless, drunk or not, Roman sticks with his word that he won’t lie to her.

“Yes.”

Even drunk, he can tell how shocked she is by his admission. Shaking her head, she says either to herself or him—he can’t really tell. “I—I don’t get it.” Before he can say anything else, she starts on this train of self-hatred. “She’s pretty and—and—skinny and—she’s not—broken like me.”

That does something to him, Roman moving closer to bring one hand to the small of her back and the other to her face. “You’re not broken, Solana.”

“Yes–yes, I am. You don’t—you don’t know what—what happened to me.” Her bottom lip trembles as she shakes her head, hands on his chest. “I can’t—I can’t do what—what she does—can’t—give you t–that.”

He shifts his hand to the back of her head, forcing her blurry gaze to stay on him. “Baby….” It tears him the fuck up hearing her acknowledge the lingering trauma he’s certain she’ll always carry to some extent, but even more to hear how lowly she really thinks of herself. “I don’t—”

“I can’t—I can’t because—” Her voice cracks, her eyes focused everywhere but him as she almost comes to this heartbreaking realization that her drunkenness briefly helped her escape these thoughts that have now returned. “—b–because they r–raped me, and now I don’t—I don’t know how—how to be with anyone.” She gasps and sniffles, shaking her head. “I should—should have f–fought h-harder—”

“Don’t you ever fucking say that, you hear me?” Roman’s voice somehow contains all the conviction yet gentleness he can muster. Hearing her even think that makes him feel something he can’t fully describe. It’s heavy as fuck though. “You were a child, Solana. It wasn’t your fault.”

“You were a kid.” He has to say it again, because that’s the hardest part in all of this, knowing how young she was. “You should have been protected, and you weren’t, and I’m going to make sure every son of a bitch involved in what happened to you pays for that shit. I promise you that. The same way that I promise with my life, I’ll never let anyone ever hurt you again.”

She’s clearly taken back by his words, by his vow. “I don’t—I don’t—understand w–why? Why—why would you do that?”

Roman isn’t sure he has an answer for that specifically, but he does have something else he can provide her, a small part of him knowing, hoping maybe, there’s very little from tonight she remembers come tomorrow morning. 

“Because someone needs to protect you.” Roman swallows, adding before he even realizes what he’s saying. “Because I don’t want Samantha.” He brushes his thumb over her cheek, intentionally wiping her tears. “I want you.”

And suddenly, it’s so much easier to say it aloud, to voice to her what he still doesn’t entirely understand, why he feels drawn to her in ways he doesn’t understand. There’s a connection almost, a connection of mutual loss that’s formed some sort of bridge Roman is unsure just when he started crossing 

She looks more stunned at his admission than anything else he’s ever said to her. Still, she seems to try to discredit him. “But—but she—”

“She’s not you.” His voice unintentionally softens. “No one’s like you.”

Selfishly, he hopes she doesn’t remember much or any of this conversation, less painful for her, more time for him to figure out what it is about this woman that he feels so deeply drawn to.

Again, she tries to downplay her worth. “I can’t—I can’t—give you what you need.”

And somehow he knows exactly what she means. What she’s referring to.

“I don’t need that from you.” Truth be told, he doesn’t want to need anything from her. Needing anything in general has never been his thing. He just knows that, for some reason, he wants her around.

He likes having her around him. 

She’s blinking again and places her hand against her head, sharing, “my h–head hurts.” It’s not an intentional deflection, he’s certain, but it’s appreciated.

This is a much deeper conversation than he anticipated having tonight.

“You need to get to bed. The sooner you can start sleeping this off, the better.” He eyes her skeptically, asking, “can you walk?”

He should have already known the answer, because the minute she tries to pull away from him to walk, she sways almost immediately, Roman going right back to holding her. “Come here.” He expects her to tense up as he moves to lift her up bridal style, but she doesn’t. She just continues to look confused, clearly overwhelmed with all of her emotions. 

Roman doesn’t say anything as he carries her up the stairs and doesn’t think twice about taking her to his room instead of hers. 

He needs to monitor her tonight, and that’s easier done with her in his room.

She looks around still confused but doesn’t say anything as Roman lowers her down on the edge of his bed. Naturally, he’s on one knee before her.

“I’m gonna take these off.” He refers to her heels which could largely be a contributing factor for her to inability to walk. She nods, and he quickly unstraps and tosses the heels to the side. “Do you want to change?”

She nods and then adds, “I don’t have—my clothes….”

Roman is at his dresser, pulling out a shirt that he reaches to her. “You can wear this for tonight.”

She accepts it from him, turning to walk to the bathroom, Roman relieved to see the removal of her heels helps her to at least make it without falling.

While she’s changing, he heads back downstairs to get Dulce.

He knows she’s used to sleeping with Solana and will probably throw a fit or spend the night crying if that doesn’t happen, so a small sacrifice is made as he also brings up Dulce’s bed from the living room and places it on the side of his bed.

One night of her sleeping in his room won’t kill him.

It’s then that Solana walks out the bathroom, changed out of her dress and her face free from the makeup. 

“I washed my face….hope that was o–okay.”

“It’s fine, Solana.” Roman is half expecting to have to instruct her to lay down, but she again stays with the theme of surprises tonight and walks over to the bed, pulling back the covers and climbing in. 

He’s again ready to explain that he’ll be in the guest room across the hall but will be available if she needs anything. He’ll still be checking in on her occasionally, regardless.

But, before he can explain as such, she asks in the softest, most vulnerable voice, “will you lay with me?”

It’s an extremely unexpected question with an easy answer.

Roman’s answer is to move into the bed with her, half expecting her to freak out in one way or another. This close proximity is so unlike her, a complete contrast to what she’s usually comfortable with.

However, what he doesn’t expect is the way Solana moves her body close against his, pressing herself into his side, arm over his stomach and head on his chest.

In a switching of roles, Roman is the one to initially tense. This is more physical contact than they’ve ever had, and there’s not a doubt in his mind that if not for the alcohol in her system, she’d have a fucking meltdown touching him this much.

But in her drunken, highly intoxicated state, that’s not an issue. She wants to be close to him, wants to be pressed up against him. 

She’s looking for comfort.

And truthfully, he wants it too. Roman likes the feel of her next to him, actually uses his other arm to tug her closer, noticing how she adjusts her head on his chest.

Her hand is planted against his chest, and he starts to tell her to rest, to encourage her to sleep this off. But, she once again beats him to it, asking yet another question. 

“Why—why are you doing this?”

To be fair, Roman only answers her truthfully because he’s betting on her being so close to the edge of sleep that the chances of her remembering this rare shred of vulnerability are slim to none.

“Because—because I know what it’s like to not have anyone.” There’s a sense of hesitation and discomfort as he verbalizes what he’s never once openly discussed with anyone. “Because I didn’t just lose my mom when I was ten. I lost my entire family. My parents. My aunt. My uncle. And all of my siblings. I—I was the only one who made it out alive that night, and I spent years not knowing why, why I was left alone.”

Roman doesn’t want sympathy, doesn’t want people feeling fucking sorry for him. He never has. But the way Solana lifts her head to look at him is a look of something else, something that likens understanding and compassion.

The latter of which is almost an unfamiliar concept. 

“I didn’t—I’m sorry.” She lays her head back against his chest, moving even closer. She then murmurs into him, almost reassuringly, “you don’t—you don’t have to be alone anymore.”

Roman doesn't know what to say to that, so he doesn’t.

He says nothing.

________

Waking up in Roman’s bed wearing only his shirt is the last thing Solana expects along with the fact that the minute her eyes open, she’s hit with instant throbbing of her head.

She winces, confused about so many things as she forces herself to sit up, mind immediately wandering to a single question.

Where is Roman?

Her question is easily answered when she spots the notebook on his nightstand. She reaches for it, squinted eyes reading over his words.

Solana,

I’m sorry I had to leave. I have a meeting with the Elders I, unfortunately, can’t miss. I’ll be back right after.

If not for that, I would have stayed with you.

You most likely won’t remember last night, but you got drunk. Very. You’re gonna wake up with a nasty hangover. Take the Aspirin. It’ll help. 

I gave Dulce her breakfast and took her outside. She should be fine. 

I also let your job know you’re not coming in today.

Rest.

Roman

There’s so much to process in such a straightforward letter. What did he mean by stay with her? Did—did they sleep in the same bed? 

For some reason, that’s not as anxiety inducing as she imagined it would be. She doesn’t know the why or how, but it doesn't bring that heavy weight on her chest.

The drunk part triggers brief memories of the night prior. Bayley and Naomi. The celebration. Dancing. Fun. Happiness.

A switch.

At some point in the night, her mood shifted into something else. Solana remembers asking for a drink, but she doesn’t remember much after that. Glimpses. An almost sympathetic look from Roman. His arms around her. Him holding her.

It makes for a confusing story she doesn’t really have the wherewithal to deal with. She instead reaches over and swallows the Aspirin. 

And she goes right back to sleep.

________

Roman finds himself completely bypassing his office, clearing his schedule, and moving his phone’s status to Do Not Disturb.

He’s not in the mood to deal with any of that shit today. At least not for a couple more hours. He needs to make sure Solana is situated first. 

Thinking about her resurfaces his earlier level of anger at how the meeting with the Elders ended.

“What of the girl?”

This was the part of the hour meeting that caught his attention the most. Everything else was trivial and, in his opinion, a waste of time. But, it’s when Elder Aleki brings up Solana that Roman’s focus is recentered.

“What about her?”

He’s not stupid. Far from it. Roman knows exactly where this is headed. It was partially expected. What he didn’t expect was the anger that’s already brewing at just how Solana was referred to as ‘the girl.’

Aleki is bold with his questioning, jumping straight to the point. “Is she still not pregnant yet? It’s been almost four months.”

Roman’s jaw clenches, and he finds himself squeezing the armrest of his chair as he does his best to keep his voice somewhat subdued. “I’m aware of how long it’s been.”

Another elder, Sione, decides to join in on this conversation that Roman is about to shut down in less than a minute. “Perhaps she should have another medical evaluation. By one of our doctors—”

“The hell she will.”

Rikishi shoots Roman a warning look, quietly, muttering an equally pleading, “language, Uce.”

Roman straight up ignores him. Rikishi still adheres to those outdated traditions that just because someone has more years on this earth than you that they automatically deserve respect. Fuck that. Roman gives respect when it’s earned, and Aleki and Sione have been on his shit list for years.

He’ll never forgive them for their behavior after the death of his family, their questioning of Roman’s birthright to the throne.

Aleki releases a heavy sigh, and Roman has to restrain himself from not bashing the old man’s head into the table. “All we’re saying is if she is incapable of producing a child to continue the Bloodline, then we have no use for her and should seek to find you a better—”

That’s when Roman has enough. To suggest Solana be examined again. which would no doubt be triggering as fuck for her, is one thing. But, it’s an entirely different thing for them to have the unmitigated gall to suggest he get rid of her.

Over his dead fucking body.

Roman shoots up from the chair. “My wife isn’t going anywhere nor is anyone at this fucking table going to make her do shit.”

Rikishi shoots more than just his subtle warning this time around. “Roman, please—”

Roman’s not trying to hear that shit from him, though. He’s not trying to hear shit from anyone. 

“Our marriage is nobody’s fucking business but our own. That includes when she gets pregnant. We’ll share it when we want to.”

Truthfully speaking, this isn’t something Roman has thought much about, an intentional thing. The fact that the marriage was originally and solely arranged so that she could give him an heir is irrelevant to him right now, regardless of what they think.

That’s not a priority. 

“You may be the Elders, but I sit at the head of the table.” The Bloodline has always been successful and profitable, but it’s no doubt exceeded any and all records and expectations since Roman became the head. That’s an indisputable fact. “Don’t fucking forget who made this table what it is today.”

The ending of the meeting is still playing in the back of his head like a bad song on repeat. If not for his semi level of respect and acknowledgement of their standing as Elders, he would have put a bullet in their heads the minute that disrespectful shit started leaving their mouths.

In no fucking universe is anyone taking Solana from him. He doesn’t give a flying fuck whatever the original reason was for their marriage. She’s his now, and nothing is changing that. 

Roman makes active efforts to calm himself before walking back into the house. After last night, the last thing she needs is to be unintentionally triggered. 

He finds her on the sofa, writing in her journal, Dulce right beside her sleeping peacefully without a care in the fucking world. Roman halfway expected her to be out back on the patio, a seemingly favorite spot of hers.

But the sunlight would no doubt exacerbate the remnants of her hangover he’s certain she’s still battling, so it makes sense she’s indoors. It’s when she looks up, noticing his presence that Roman also realizes she’s still only wearing his shirt. 

For some strange reason, he likes that. Likes seeing her in his clothes.

“Hey…”

“Hey.” Roman sits on the sofa opposite from her. He takes her in, watching her set her journal to the side and as he notices her hair is pulled up. “How you feeling?”

She shrugs, making a face that suggests some level of discomfort. “My head still kinda hurts, but I guess—that’s to be expected.” He starts to ask her if she’s drunk enough water, recognizing the importance of staying hydrated a night after heavy drinking, but she’s suddenly pleading with him almost. “Please don’t be upset with Bayley and Naomi. It’s not their fault.”

To be fair, he hadn’t thought about them until now. “They were supposed to watch you.”

“They did. I—I got back fine.” She seems almost worried for them, for their safety. He would never actually kill either woman. He’ll just probably never trust them to take Solana out again in life. But no murder would actually happen. Still, it’s the part where Solana says she got back fine that irks him. He does his best to mask that irritation though. 

“You weren’t fine last night, Solana.” She was far from it, more emotional than he’s seen her in some time, if ever. 

Her shoulders drop, almost in shame. “I don’t—I don’t remember much of it.”

He’s thankful for that. For the both of them. “You were upset.” It’s not a lie nor is it specific. It’s just the truth. 

She then asks with almost hesitant curiosity. “W–what did I say?”

Roman shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter.” He doesn’t like being dismissive towards her, doesn’t like being dishonest, something he swore he wouldn’t do. But, she was an emotional wreck last night, and the last thing he wants is for her to go through all of those emotions yet again.

He doesn’t like seeing her upset.

But then she looks at him, studying him almost, a sad, almost tearful chuckle leaving her mouth. He watches as she brings her legs up to her chest and rests her chin against her knees. She asks, volume barely over a whisper, “I told you last night, didn’t I?” Roman realizes it’s less a question and more a heavy realization. “That—that I was raped. Didn’t I?”

It’s a bit of a lose–lose situation. Either he tells her no and risks her feeling bad for sharing something she didn’t have to or he confirms what she already knows and still feels not great.

They’re both shitty options, but he ultimately goes the route of honesty. “Yes.”

“It’s weird. I—” She looks away, eyes shutting for a minute before she unexpectedly explains, “I’ve been—I’ve been working out of this book for people who were…assaulted like me, and I’m–at the part where its recommended I tell at least one person because—because it’s not healthy to keep it to myself.” 

Roman knows exactly what book she’s talking about. It was the key that led to him figuring out just what happened to her. That still fucks with him. Still makes him fill with silent rage at her piece of shit family letting that happen to her. 

“You’re now the first person I’ve ever told.” Roman hates that even more.. Hates that someone like him is who she ended up breaking her silence with. He wishes it was either Bayley or Naomi. They’re much better at this sort of thing. The feelings thing. “I don’t—I don’t like talking about it.”

“You don’t have to.” He isn’t sure he’d be able to control his anger hearing details, hearing anything about it to be honest, not coming from her. His rage would be intractable. 

She nods, almost appreciatively. “That's why sex is—it’s hard for me.” He fully understands that, and a small part of him hates how he tried to initiate that with her on their wedding night. He figured her nerves were because of her naturally anxious personality. Never once did it cross his mind that it was because of something much darker. “And it’s not—it’s not like I don’t think about it sometimes, about being close to someone like that, I do.” This piece does surprise him, but he works hard not to think too much about it right now. He wants to be in this moment with her. “ I—I have. But, every time I try, I just—I get flashbacks, and I can’t.” She ends on an almost whisper, Roman’s stomach tightening as she quickly wipes at a tear. 

He doesn’t like seeing her cry. 

“You don’t owe me an explanation, Solana.” Not him or anyone else, for that matter. 

She doesn’t say anything for a good minute before asking, “what happens now?”

That’s a great fucking question, and he almost has the same towards a lot of things. He’s curious though what she’s specifically referring to. “What do you mean?”

Solana seems almost frightened as she asks, “are you—are you gonna send me back to my father?” 

Yeah, he could have never in a million years guessed that. “Why would you ever think I would do that?”

And he suddenly hates asking, hates seeing the way the emotion builds back up. “I’m not—not a virgin, and—” Her eyes close, her grip around her legs tightening. “You….you only married me because—”

“I don’t care about that.” This is his second time today having to face some level of this discussion, but this round is significantly gentler. Roman does his best to illustrate the conviction in his voice while also being mindful of her emotions. “What do you want, Solana?”

He has no idea what she’s going to say, but he does know for a fact he would never send her back to that hellhole. It would be like sending her to her own death. 

She seems to really think about his question, think about something he’s certain she’s never had a lot of. 

Options. 

Finally, after what feels like hours, she answers. “I want to stay here.” Roman’s unsure why he feels a small sense of relief at her answer, like anything other than that would have made him uncomfortable or upset. Solana wets her lips, continuing, “I like—I like living here.” And in an even smaller voice, she adds, “I like being with you.”

He doesn’t say anything, and neither does she. Roman is certain it’s because they’re both trying to process and register what this may mean, what this new piece of information means for them moving forward. 

Roman sits forward and motions with his index and middle finger. “Come here.”

He sees it instantly. The initial hesitation, the brief flash of fear, but it’s gone before he can offer reassurance. Solana lowers her legs and walks over to him, Dulce remaining sleeping and unmoving. Not once does Roman remove his gaze from her as he takes her hand, giving a gentle tug to guide her down on the sofa next to him. He slides his arm behind her, holding her body against him, his tattooed forearm across her stomach.

Roman watches the way her eyes close, recognizes that she’s trying to manage her emotions. He sees the little nod she gives herself, as if assuring herself that she’s safe. And he swears he sees her mouth as such.

Mouth the word ‘safe.’

Solana moves her hands to his forearm, as if holding onto him for some sense of comfort. 

He does his best to reassure her. “Relax…”And it seems to do something to help her, offering such a simple yet strong form of solace. “I’d never send you back there. Ever.” And that’s a fucking promise. “You’ll stay here. With me.”

“I’m—” Her voice is less emotional than before. It’s still there, but he can tell it's waning with each second that passes, her comfort level growing. “I’m supposed to give you an heir. What if—what if people start—”

“I’ll take care of it.” And he will. He already started with the Elders earlier today, but she doesn’t need to know that. 

She angles her head up to look at him. “But—” 

Roman brings his hand to her face, gently palming her cheek. “I’ll take care of it.” He moves his thumb over the apple of her cheek and part of her scar. “Alright?”

Solana nods with her acknowledgement but says nothing else as she lays back against him. He notices the absence of tension and discomfort. She’s fully relaxed against him, and Roman acts more out of instinct than anything as he presses lips against her temple for a brief kiss, still mindful of her comfort level. “I’ve got you…”

Everything happening in the past few minutes has been both unexpected and confusing, but there’s nothing confusing about the way Solana suddenly turns her body into him, laying her head on his chest. He watches her eyes close, signifying another layer of fear being peeled back. 

He sits there for who knows how long with her, holding her, noticing the slight rise and fall of her body against his, a sign that she’s fallen asleep. He lets her sleep, lets her rest, lets her stay close to him, under him, with him.

Roman thinks back on his question to her about what she wanted. He’s not sure what he would have said if she said she wanted to leave, because the truth of the matter is that Roman’s starting to think that he couldn’t let her go.

That he can’t.

Even if she wanted to leave. 

[etfrin]

❝ꜱᴏᴜʟꜱ ᴛᴏ ᴄʀᴜꜱʜ❞ — chapter five | part two | coriolanus snow

「ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ:」 SFW | Dr. Gaul is her own warning, Coriolanus Snow is his own warning, mentions of Arachnes' death

「ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ:」 young! Coriolanus Snow x fem! Reader

「ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ:」 you meet Dr. Gaul and her snakes with Coryo at your side 🐍

「ᴀ/ɴ:」 here's part two!! Hope y'all enjoy it! Give me your feedback!

beta read by the AWESOME @nowitsmissing

series masterlist | navigation

Classes were dull. He couldn't stop thinking about the morning, Sejanus' tears, and Lucy Gray's smile. It felt like a terrible dream possible when sick. He hates how easily Sejanus will have his girl after Coryo makes sure she wins.

He hates how he will never have you. And another district girl will be brought to riches undeserving or maybe Sejanus will leave with her.

He hates how he sees himself in Sejanus. Sejanus' sobs are so similar to the tantrum Coriolanus had thrown when he was eight. The tears were the same as his, unable to stop. The pain is too much. Coriolanus’ tears were of shame of who his soulmate was. Sejanus’ tears were of fear that his soulmate might die in the arena.

He had to make sure Lucy Gray won in the arena. Not because he felt pity for his so-called friend but for the fact that this would ensure his victory over the Plinth Prize. Surely, mentoring the soulmate of the heir of Plinth's fortune would get him some kind of reward, at least from the kind, foolish Sejanus.

Coriolanus received a dismissal from his current history class as he was called to meet Dr. Gaul. It took him mere minutes to reach the lab of the Academy where she was temporarily stationed until the games ended. His proposal is in his satchel. He sees you there, waiting for him, and he pauses.

He soaks you in, ignoring the confusion in your eyes. He stomps on his heart that he feels broken because of how fast it is beating. And begins to walk towards you confidently, trying to channel annoyance and anger over your actions of yesterday. He failed miserably.

He mirrors the small smile you give him and he acknowledges last night by saying, “How's the day going for you, little thief?” He feels his worries fade away, the paranoia that you might have stolen his work gone as he hears you laugh at being called a thief.

“I wasn't confident enough to let you read it, and it felt rude to make you walk back to her lab to submit when I was on my way there anyways,” you explained instead, your eyes hoping for his understanding and forgiveness.

You answered his question as well, “It's been going well, I was nearly late for my classes.”

It's pathetic how easily he caved in. “It's fine,” he whispered, “maybe next time don't leave a note, so the culprit isn't more obvious.” Coriolanus Snow decided your giggle was the prettiest sound he had ever heard and his face burns as his mind repeats it. You give him a friendly swat on his arm and Snow lets himself grin. A real smile with teeth, not the perfect one designated for his classmates.

His proposal is forgotten in his bag as he and you enter the lab. He pulls you a bit closer to him, and a bit behind so he's a step ahead. Dr. Gaul was insane and Coriolanus couldn't help the feeling of being protective of you. He didn't want you to receive even a scratch while he was there.

Dr. Gaul greets you and the Coryo with a feral look in her eyes and her red-stained lips in a wild grin befitting animals. You politely greet her back and Coriolanus follows. Coriolanus swallows as he sees hundreds if not more rainbow-colored snakes in a tank.

“For the games?” He hears you ask.

Dr. Gaul replied, “We'll see, child. Now come forth.”

Coriolanus swallows and even though he shouldn't, he holds your hand, his fingers gripping yours and he walks forward, still keeping you a step behind.

The snakes hiss and move around the tank in swirls of color that hurt his eyes. But in the limited space, he could almost make out parchments with familiar handwriting. What was Dr. Gaul planning?

As if on cue, Dr. Gaul asked, “Which brings me to your proposal. I liked it. Who wrote it? Just you two? Or did your brassy friend weigh in before her throat was cut?”

Coriolanus is surprised by the small laugh you let out, and he sees the humor in Dr. Gauls’ eyes. “No ma'am, I am sure she was rather busy choking on blood. They were written by us,” you said.

“Is that so?” Gauls' voice is full of suspicion but it deters neither of you.

“Yes,” Coriolanus butts in. “Our proposals were written completely by us.”

“Well, let's read it again, shall we?” Dr. Gaul adds, “Unfortunately, my assistant lined this very case with it while I was having my lunch. Let's retrieve it, shall we?”

“Isn't it dangerous?” Coriolanus asked, his voice edged.

Dr. Gaul chuckled and explained, “They can’t see too well, and they hear even less,” said Dr. Gaul. “But they know you’re there. Snakes can smell you using their tongues, these mutts here more than others.” “If you’re familiar, if they have pleasant associations with your scent — a warm tank, for instance — they’ll ignore you. A new scent, something foreign, that would be a threat,” said Dr. Gaul. “You’d be on your own, little boy.”

He doesn't let the fear swallow him, not when he saw how eager you were to prove her suspicions wrong. He didn't want to take Dr. Gauls' words at face value but what else could he do? In no world, he would let you dip your hand into a pit of possibly venomous snakes. Not if he had a choice.

“Me first then,” he said, his voice filled with (fake) confidence.

He puts his hand inside the tank, trying not to shiver in disgust. The snakes ignore him, slithering around his hand as he wiggles through to pull out his proposal successfully. It was safe. Which means you could do the same as well. He hands his proposal to Dr. Gaul before stepping so you can repeat the action.

And you succeed as well with flying colors. You step back to stand beside Snow as Gaul holds both of your works. She raised an eyebrow impressed but Coriolanus can see the underlying disappointment and vows to never leave you alone in her presence.

Dr. Gaul said, “Well… I will try to implement both of your ideas for the Games as soon as possible. The victory tour and idea of what you called tesserae were impeccable. Same with your idea, Coriolanus Snow. I am proud to have you both as Capitol students. I am also looking forward to Arachnes’ funeral”

“Now leave,” Dr. Gaul dismissed, “It's time for my tea and crackers.”

Coriolanus couldn't walk out of there faster. Je catches you before you can walk away. Your actions tilted his reality, in so little time since the reaping day, you were changing every thought of his.

“Choking on blood?” He said, “So much for Arachne's 'family'.”

You raised an eyebrow, “There were people in the library and it was already a bad look that we weren't in our homes grieving or whatever.”

He frowned, “So that tear- those red eyes were fake?”

You looked around the hall, the students present were out of earshot. You pulled him closer by the collar and whispered,

“Guess your songbird isn't the only performer.”

Your lips were mere inches away from his. He could seal a kiss. He could take you- he processes your words and doesn't know how to react. You… you changed his whole reality, his perception of you with a sentence. Coriolanus Snow didn't know what to make of you anymore.

You pulled back (why, why, why) and handed him your proposal. “I need you to know, everything I wrote here is for Panem. Don't judge me too harshly.”

You were nothing like he thought of and you were laid bare as he read down your proposal, what you had planned for Arachnes’ funeral. And in his mind, he realized that perhaps. . .

You stopped being District a long time ago.

NEXT PART

[tomssexdoll]

Unspoken Jealously

PAIRINGS: Tom 2010 x Female reader

CONTENT: ANGST + SMUT + FLUFF

SYPNOSIS: Tom and Y/N always fight in school, he's a popular asshole and she's a quiet, reserved girl. He always picked fights with her, one day in class sending her over the edge, causing him to actually shut up for once. Then at a party, seeing her with another guy sent him over the edge.

A/N: if you want to be tagged or i accidently missed your tag comment on my pinned masterlist <3

WARNINGS: dom!tom, sub!reader, p in v (missionary), eating out, teasing, arguing

Tom was the most popular guy in school, he was an asshole, arrogant and rude to anyone he didn't like, and those people, he could not like them for the stupidest reasons. One persons glasses are too big, nose is too small, their style isn't up to his standards, anything.

I was a quiet, yet confident girl, not afraid to stand up for what's right, usually ending up in Tom and I arguing. One day, I was sitting in class, Tom and his friends came in late, laughing and pushing each other around, already being obnoxious and loud.

"Boys! You do not come into my class just to talk over me and be rude like that, go sit down and be quiet!" the teacher yelled at them, Tom just scoffed and sat down, of course, near me. He dropped his bag onto the desk with a massive thud, making me jump slightly.

"Awww, did I scare you?" he teased, sarcastically pouting while his friends erupted into laughter beside him, "oh shut up," I mumbled, rolling my eyes and paying attention to the board. His tall frame sprawled out on the chair, taking up all the space, leaving me basically no room and squishing up against his legs.

"Do you mind? When will you ever stop acting like an arrogant pig?" I turned to him, glaring at him deeply. He looked at my with a raised eyebrow, his piercing gaze appraising me. He leaned back in his chair, the smirk on his lips never faltering, "well if it isn't the little mouse who thinks she can roar," he chuckled deeply.

"Is that all you've got? You sound stupid, now shut up, sit properly and leave me alone," I grunted, turning back to my work. His smirk faded, replaced by a look of surprise. He sat up staighter, his eyes narrowing as his eyes burned into the side of my head. He muttered something under his breath but I ignored him.

"Feisty one, isn't she?" one of his friends said, "you're not going to take that, are you?" another added, egging Tom on, but he didn't give into them, just shaking his head and focusing on what the teacher was saying.

As the lesson went on Tom grew increasingly restless. He kept sneaking peeks at my work, his curiosity piqued by my near handwriting and the way I seemed to understand the material so easily, "come on, just give me the answers..." he whispered, nudging me with his elbow.

Despite my attempts to ignore him, Tom continued to pester me. He leaned in closer, his breath hot on my neck as he whispered persistently, "come on..I know you know the answers, just whisper them to me.." he tried moving me to look at my paper.

I snatched it away, hiding it from his gaze. "If you weren't such a fucking raging asshole to me, I'd give you them but because you treat me like shit, I won't. What makes you think you deserve my answers?" I turned to him, lecturing him.

Tom was taken aback by my harsh words and sudden change in tone. He looked around, noticing that several people were now watching with interest. Before he could respond, I continued.

"Now leave me alone and go do your own work, or are you too dumb to do it?" I said in a taunting tone. His face turned red with anger, he wasn't used to being spoken to like that, especially not in front of his friends. "Alright fine! Keep your precious answers to yourself!" he hissed, his voice laced with frustration but also hurt.

Later on that week, I was randomly invited to a party by one of my friends who got invited and was allowed a plus one, hosted by one of Toms feral friends. I decided to go, seeing no harm in trying to have fun for once.

I got dressed, wearing something cute and doing my hair and makeup. My friend arrived and I drove with her there. As we pulled up we saw the numerous cars parked down the street and in the driveway of the guys house. I went inside with her, weaving through the sweaty bodies of drunk people, going to the kitchen where all the drinks were scattered.

As I entered the house, Tom's attention was immediately drawn to me. He stood in the living room, surrounded by his friends, his eyes locked onto me as I made my way through the crowd. He looked me up and down, taking in my cute outfit and the effort I clearly put into my appearance.

I chose a simple vodka redbull, pouring it all into a glass and conversating with my friend as we both sipped at our drinks, glancing over at the people around us, "it's so weird that I've never been to a party before," I said, trying to see if I knew anyone.

"Is it all you expected?" my friend chuckled, I nodded and smiled, "I guess so, let's hope I don't run into Tom tonight, it won't be good for anyone here," I sighed, reaching over the counter and grabbing a bottle of vodka.

I poured some shots for me and my friend, we both clinked our glasses together and downed the shot, the clear liquid stinging my throat.

After a while of drinking, we landed on the dancefloor, dancing to the music, jumping up and down and giggling with my friend, having the time of our lives. We got increasingly more drunk and my confidence skyrocketed, I started flirting with a random guy, dancing with him and occasionally grinding on him.

Tom's gaze never left me as I moved throughout the room, his friends catching onto his fixation on me. As soon as he noticed me grinding on this random guy his jaw clenched, his chest slightly heaving with intense jealously. Who the fuck was this guy? Why was I even near him? He knew he had no right to be this jealous, he hadn't even told anyone his true feelings for you but it hurt like hell to see him, holding me like he should've been.

Tom's expression turned cold, letting out a heavy sigh, "give me a minute.." he murmured. He made his way towards me, his tall figure cutting through the crowd with ease. As he approached me, I looked up, my eyes meeting his. I was confused to see him there, I stopped dancing but before I could say anything he grabbed my arm, pulling me away from the guy and towards the bathroom. "We need to talk," he said firmly, going inside and closing the door behind him.

"What the fuck are you doing? You just ruined my fucking chances of getting with that guy, what is wrong with you?" I raised my voice, clearly pissed off. Toms grip on my arm tightened, his expression unyielding. He leaned in close, his voice low and commanding, "I don't like that guy, I don't like the way he looks at you."

I furrowed my eyebrows, confused but also angry, "are you...what?" I scoffed in disbelief, literally at a loss for words. "I'm telling you, I don't like him," he said through gritted teeth, "since when did you give a fuck?" I scoffed.

He stepped closer to me, his tall frame looming over me. He reached out and grabbed my chin, forcing me to look up at him, "since forever, since I saw the way he was looking at you, like he thinks he can have you, like he thinks he's good enough for you," he yelled, his voice shaky with rage.

"Tom..." I sighed, "what the fuck are you talking about? You sound crazy...this better not be some fucking prank you and your stupid friends have planned, I'm si-" he silenced me by pressing his lips to mine, his kiss hard and demanding. He pushed me back against the bathroom sink, his hands gripping my hips possessively.

When he finally pulled back, I was left breathless and speechless, "just listen damn it!" he grunted, "i've liked you for so fucking long, I know you may not believe it, I wouldn't either but I'm so tired of pretending that I don't like you! I hate having to hide my feelings from you, from everyone," he sighed, his eyes now drifting away.

"And I'm sorry for treating you like shit...I should've grown some balls and fucking told you..but I was a pussy, afraid of what everyone would think.." he sighed, cupping my face in his large hands. I was shocked, my mouth slightly agape as I fought to say something back.

"But I won't stand here and let that piece of shit take what's mine," he took advantage of my momentary silence, his hands sliding down to my thighs. He hoisted me up onto the sink, stepping between my open legs, "i'm serious, you're mine, not his. Understand?" he leaned in close, grabbing my chin.

"Mhm..." I nodded, looking into his eyes the whole time. Up until now I had never really noticed the feelings I had for Tom, like they were there all along but I just fought them off, pushing them far away into my brain, not wanting to accept the feelings. I mean it was scary, liking someone who I thought could never come close to liking me and also being my bully.

"Good girl.." he smirked, leaning in and capturing my lips in a heated kiss, I didn't know that I was starving until I tasted him, I kissed him back just as passionately, moaning against his lips. His hands tightening on my thighs, his touch firm.

He deepened the kiss, his tongue slipping past my parted lips to dance with mine. He broke the kiss only to trail his lips down along my jaw and down my neck, "you're so..so..so beautiful..." he mumbled against my skin.

His kisses trailed down my neck, to my chest, gently sucking on the skin. I felt his hands come around my back, gently dragging down the zipper of my dress, he lifted me up and let it slip to the floor, leaving me in my skimpy panties and no bra, my bare breasts.

His gaze darkened as he took in the sight of me, my bare tits on display. He trailed his fingertips along the curve of my waist, up to cup your breasts before diving his head in between my tits, gently squeezing them.

Then he trailed kisses down my stomach, lower stomach and then stopping right in front of my panties. "You gonna let me eat your pretty pussy, hm?" he taunted, looking up at me with a mischievious glint in his eyes.

His words made me let out a little gasp, I nodded slowly and hooked my fingers around the waistband of my underwear, sliding them down my legs and off my feet, throwing it aside.

He spread my legs wide, his gaze fixed on my pussy, "so fucking pretty.." he said, before leaning forward and burying his face between my legs. I let out a soft moan as I felt his tongue come in contact with my aching clit, instantly arching my back.

His hands gripped my thighs, holding them open wide as he devoured me. His tongue worked expertly, licking and sucking as he pushed me closer and closer to the edge. He could feel me getting closer, my breath hitching and my hips bucking against his face.

"Ohhh fuck!" I whined, holding onto the counter tightly, my knuckles turning white from the firm grip I had. The pleasure came in rough, crashing waves, drowning me in ecstasy. "You like that?" he murmured against my sensitive flesh before flicking his tongue over my clit again. He slid one finger inside me, then two, curling them to hit that perfect spot.

"Holy shit!" I yelped, my pussy quivering around his fingers, he continued to suck and lick my throbbing clit. As my moans got louder he doubled his efforts, his fingers pumping in and out of me as his mouth suckled on my swollen bud.

His fingers curled faster and harder inside me, his mouth sealed around my aching nub. He went so hard I was seeing stars, rolling my eyes back from the immense amount of pleasure I was receiving. I was in a state of pure euphoria, being sent into oblivion as his tongue and fingers worked their magic.

"Gonna cum!" I whimpered loudly, writhing and squirming under him. "Come for me baby..let go.." he growled. He could feel me tensing, my breath hitching, my fingers gripping his hair painfully. "Keep fucking going!" I screamed, moaning loudly, feeling my release rapidly approach.

He didn't need to be told twice, his fingers curved upwards, hitting my sweet spot repeatedly, sucking on my clit roughly, "cmon, cum for me!" he raised his voice, his tongue swirling around my sensitive nub in a rapid motion as he fucked me with his fingers.

With one last flick of my clit my orgasm crashed down, he felt my inner walls convulse around his fingers as I found my release. He continued to suck on my bud, drawing out my pleasure until I was limp and breathless. He finally lifted his head, a smug smile on his face as he cleaned my essence off with his tongue, "such a good girl.."

My chest heaved, barely able to calm down from the earth shattering orgasm I just had. Tom stepped back, unbuckling his belt and lowering his pants. His hard length sprang out, standing tall and proud. He stepped forward, the head of his erection pressing against my entrance, "wrap your legs around my waist baby.." he grumbled, grabbing my legs and pulling me closer to the edge of the sink.

I quickly wrapped my legs around his waist, looking up at him as he lined himself up and thrusted buried himself inside in one powerful thrust, his thick length stretching me to the limit.

He gripped my hips tightly, holding me in place as he started to fuck me hard and fast against the sink, "hold on tight baby, i'm not going to be gentle.." he whispered in my ear, his breath hot against my neck. I wrapped my arms around him and held onto him tightly, nuzzling my face into his neck and moaning loudly.

"Holy fuck, Tom!" I whimpered, he pounded into me relentlessly, the sound of my moans and the slapping of flesh against porcelain filling the room. He reached around and grabbed my ass, spreading my cheeks apart and fucking me even harder, "fuck, you're so tight..." he growled, his balls slapping against my ass.

I was being sent into oblivion, my eyes rolling back and my tits bouncing wildly with each brutal thrust. "You're close aren't you?" he grunted, his voice strained from holding back his release, his hand sneaking between me to rub my swollen nub, "such a good girl, taking this cock so fucking well.." he smirked, I nodded and whined, "mmmh! fuck!" receiving pleasure 2 ways at the same time was driving me crazy, my moans getting louder by the second.

My throat was raw from my desperate wails, he kept fucking me viciously, his tip brutally hitting my cervix. He grunted with each thrust, his face contorted with pleasure and concentration. His movements became more feverish, his hips jackhammering against mine as he neared the edge. "Gonna gum...im close..." he rasped, his voice thick with need.

"Fucking touch yourself..now.." he groaned, replacing his hand with mine, making me rub my clit furiously. His gaze met mine, his eyes dark with desire. He watched as I touched myself, his breath coming in ragged pants, his thrusts borderline erratic, driven by the sight of me pleasuring myself, "fuck..yes..so fucking hot..." he mumbled.

He shifted his angle, hitting that spot that made my eyes roll back, knowing this would send me over the edge. With a few more hard, deep thrusts I came undone, the sensation of me pulsing around his thickness send him over the edge. He let out a guttural roar, "ohhh FUCK!" his hips jerking forward as he spilled his seed inside me.

Both our chests heaved in unison, breathless after our intense love making session. After calming down for a while, he leaned forward, his lips finding mine in a tender kiss, his tongue exploring my mouth. "Please don't let this be a one night stand, something we regret.." he murmured against my lips.

His hands slid down to my waist, holding me close to him and looking deeply into my eyes, "I meant what I said before, it wasn't a coax to make you fuck me..i meant ever single word i said," he sighed, "I want you to be my girlfriend, I want to hold, kiss and love you in front of everyone, not be ashamed anymore.." I searched his eyes for any sign of deceit but all that looked back at me was sincerity.

My heart ached for him, I gently nodded, "I agree..I just want to be loved by you, not hated..i'm sick of the petty fights, as much as they are funny, I also want to experience being loved by you.." I smiled, gently cupping his face and pressing my lips into his for another gentle kiss.

tags: @ballhair @bills-wife-1 @ella1289

tags: @bkaulitzlover @pa1n-0f-l0ve @tomkslut

tags: @miyukafujii @tomscumdoll @billsdolliest

tag: @tomsfuckdoll

[lihhelsing]

Talk Me Down

steddie | 1,7k words | angst | mature

CW: drug use, explicit violence

Written for @steddieangstyaugust Day 10

Prompt: "Where were you?"

Read Part 1

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It's not like Steve had become a regular or anything, but Eddie was seeing more of him than Wayne lately. Which was... weird.

Surprisingly enough, Steve wasn't the complete asshole Eddie expected him to be. Or he was, but he wasn't pointing his assholesness towards Eddie anymore. 

Eddie preferred to pretend it didn't affect him, but he found himself excited to see Steve. Definitely not like a puppy.

But it was hard to control his facial muscles when Steve came into view. His mouth curled in the softest way possible as soon as their eyes met and Eddie felt it in a way that made him think he wasn't dead inside, after all.

Steve usually bought weed and he usually hung back, looking at Eddie as if asking for permission to roll a joint so they could smoke together. Eddie should say no, something about not shitting where you eat or whatever, but it was hard to ignore the way Steve's eyes shined. 

They shined like someone who was so fucking lonely that being friends with a drug dealer beat any other options. 

Eddie knew Steve just wanted the weed. He kept showing up with different bruises on his arm that made Eddie's inside fill up with anger, and he knew the bliss of the weed helped, so no reason for him to keep his hopes up. It was not like King Steve actually wanted to hang out with him.

Still. Eddie let himself get carried away, and that was his mistake. He usually was someone who kept his guard up for a reason. He knew he was useful because of the drugs, but he wasn't delusional enough to think he was irreplaceable for a shitty town like Hawkins.

If Eddie were to disappear, he had no doubts a different fucked up boy would take his place in no time. Selling whatever drug to the entitled rich kids. 

He's about to go home. The sun is starting to go down and Eddie has enough self preservation to know nothing good happens in these woods after dark. 

It's eerily quiet as he closes his lunch box, the metallic sounds of it echoing and making birds fly out. He has his back to the walkway and that's why he hears it before he sees it. Footsteps. The crunching of leaves. 

Steve doesn't usually come this late in the day, but maybe this is a sign. Eddie's been wanting to invite him over to the trailer. They've been talking about Star Wars, out of all things, and Steve said he was curious to watch and Eddie thinks maybe this is it.

Today is the day he's inviting Steve over to watch Star Wars and smoke some weed. 

He knows it's a bad idea because his heart doesn't understand 'platonic' that easily. And he knows it's a bad idea because his trailer is shitty and Steve is used to fucking golden cutlery or whatever.

But maybe with enough weed Eddie will get away with his too small couch that will force them to sit too close. Maybe with enough weed Eddie will get away with leaning into Steve's space to smell his cologne whenever something funny happens in the movie. 

"You're late," Eddie says, his hand going to his pocket to get a joint. He usually leaves one pre-rolled, just in case Steve shows up. 

He takes his time, too. Puts it to his lips and light it, taking a long drag. Eddie hasn't smoked today and he can already feel it relaxing every muscle in his body. 

He pockets the lighter and runs a hand through his hair before picking up his lunchbox and turning to Steve. He's determined to give him a hard time just to be a bitch, pretending that he has somewhere to be.

"It's rude to-" Eddie's words get caught in his throat as he looks at someone who's definitely not Steve. His mood sours instantly as he looks at... Paul? Peter? 

The guy doesn't say anything, he just keeps looking at Eddie with this intense expression. It's annoying and Eddie doesn't have time for that. 

"Store is closed, man," Eddie says, taking a drag and shrugging, stepping forward. 

Paul/Peter grunts something and now that Eddie's looking at him he can definitely tell something's off. 

"Sorry. I'll be back Monday," Eddie says and keeps walking, stepping to the side so he doesn't bump into the guy.

What happens next is so fast it leaves Eddie dizzy. Paul/Peter rips the joint from between Eddie's lips and throws it in the ground.

Eddie complains with a hey that's punched out of him as the guy pins him against the nearby tree, arm pressed on his neck, preventing him from moving.

"Shut the fuck up," Paul/Peter says and this close Eddie can see his pupils are blown out. "I need more."

This is not Eddie's first run in with some junky dickhead. But usually Eddie's guard is up because he just knows the kind of asshole he deals with. And his first rule is to never get himself into a situation like this because of two things.

One, Eddie can't throw a punch to save his life. His fight or flight instinct usually is just flight. 

And two, he can't shut the fuck up when his nervous. 

"Should've thought of that before sniffing my entire stash, don't you think?" Eddie says and he feels Paul/Peter growling and pushing his neck hard enough that he can't breathe anymore, let alone speak. 

"Shut up. I'll take it if I have to," the guy says and Eddie has no doubts so he drops the lunch box and hears the quiet thud it makes once it hits the ground. 

Paul/Peter lets him go as he drops to his knees and Eddie coughs as he massages his neck, stepping to the side so he can leave. There isn't much left on the lunchbox and he's fairly certain the guy will leave it behind after he figures that out so Eddie can just get it back tomorrow.

Eddie's plan is to leave but as he takes another step he feels a hand wrapping on his ankle and pulling him down. He falls face first on the dirt, scratching his arm on a pointy rock and he feels pressure on his ribs. 

Paul/Peter has a foot on top of him and the motherfucker presses it hard. It hurts more than the sting on his arm.

"You think you're funny, don't you? I should fuck you up so you'll learn to keep that mouth shut." He says and Eddie closes his eyes.

He should have better instincts and he knows he doesn't. Paul/Peter presses on and Eddie swears he can hear a cracking sound as pain floods through him. He yells and maybe he's losing his mind but it sounds like the guy is fucking laughing. 

"Fuck you," the guy spits out and as he takes his foot out Eddie instinctively curls in a ball, trying to protect himself, even if that makes the pain more sharp. There's another long laugh before he murmurs "pathetic" right before he leaves.

Eddie stays down. Doesn't feel like he has enough strength to get up and is afraid the guy's still nearby, waiting to give him more. 

His entire body feels on fire and he groans in pain as he rolls belly up, throwing his arm on top of his eyes. 

Fucking hell. The light is going away quickly now and Eddie knows he needs to get up and leave but he doesn't know if he can. There's a metallic taste on his mouth and he figured he must've bitten his tongue when he fell. 

His arm is pulsing, sticky from the blood and breathing feels like a thousand pins and needles going through his lungs. 

Is he going to die? 

He closes his eyes. Wayne is going to be so mad if he dies like this, before graduating. 

The next breath makes him feel like he's breathing fire. It fucking hurts so much. He groans again, opens his eyes for a second and it's pure dark now. 

Fuck. If he doesn't die from the broken rib, he's sure a wild animal will eat him. He should get up, but as he tries to move, a scream gets ripped out of his chest and he feels like his entire body is about to collapse. 

He's going to stay still for just a minute. And then he's going to get up. No mountain dog will taste his insides today. 

When Eddie opens his eyes again, the moon is high in the sky and the dark doesn't feel as dark anymore, but his body feels broken. His throat is dry, and he tries to cough but realizes how much it hurts, so he forces himself to stop. 

Then he hears it. Footsteps. He knows Peter/Paul doesn't feel remorse, so maybe he came to finish the job. 

Maybe it is better than getting eaten alive. 

Eddie closes his eyes, groans as he tries to move and feels more than sees someone towering over him. 

"Fuck," he hears and maybe he's dead already because it sounds like Steve. "Eddie. Fucking hell. What happened?" 

Eddie grunts as he feels Steve kneeling beside him. He had pictured Steve on his knees for him, but he had hoped for less blood. 

"Shit. Shit. I knew something was wrong. I felt it in my gut," Steve says as Eddie feels hands moving under him. He's about to complain when Steve fucking lifts him off the ground. 

Eddie lets out a scream and then Steve is there, pulling him up and shushing him. 

"I know. I know it hurts, but I'm gonna make it better. Just hang on," Steve says, his breath is close to Eddie's face and Eddie groans, letting his head fall to the side until it hits Steve's shoulder. 

Steve smells good. Like clean soap and his cologne. Eddie must smell like shit and he must be getting blood all over Steve's clothes. 

"Where were you?" Eddie asks. Or he thinks he asks, but he might be delusional. They are moving and Steve is carrying him with little effort. 

"Doesn't matter," Steve says. "But I'm here now. And I'm going to take care of you, ok?"