#rude and easily angered too
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axvwriter · 1 year ago
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Jaxon is a cool name but I'm possibly biased for names that sound 'sharp' and/or have like x, y, and z in them. Wait I'm totally biased for x considering my "X-Experiments". Six characters all named X basically and choose names for themselves starting with X.
Sorry I'm about to ramble but I just wanna share a bit about my process for naming characters
Not giving a character a name until you have all the details worked out actually sounds pretty smart. Bobo was originally a drawing I made of a little girl with a big hammer that loves sweets. Just a random design that I left sitting for the longest time until I decided she'd fit this princess character when I was reading some fanfiction (as I don't like to insert myself into x readers) and I misremembered the name as Bobo. The name for this random character design was Bebe. Then a few years later as I was contemplating trying out Twisted Wonderland is when I actually started to develop Bobo along with the idea of an underground mushroom kingdom.
But every now and then I feel slight anguish for choosing Bobo as her name. As not only does it feel a bit lame as a name for a princess, I can't help but think "Bobo the clown" along with the mental image of that person putting on a clown wig and makeup while looking sad. But I'm too attached to that being her name to try finding a better name.
When it comes to me picking names I have several different ways I go about it. Either a random name or a word that doesn't really exist comes to me. If I have an idea for a meaning behind the name I'll look up names that mean this word or that word but if that doesn't work then I might just look at a list of names starting with a letter that's starts the same as a meaning I wanted to get. Sometimes I just look through a list of names and their meanings for ideas. Though there are a few times where I'll take several words and mash them together to form a name. Usually just being meanings I want associated with the character, names with those meanings, or just a collection of names I like but I don't want to use any single one.
Though I think most of the time I design the visuals of the character then try to find a name, but I usually get ideas for the character while drawing them. Then there's a few times where I have the character spinning about in my head because I haven't gotten around to drawing them and sometimes just able to think of names for them since they're sitting there waiting anyway.
(Please don't ask for the fanfiction that made me think of Bobo in a princess role as 1. I don't recall the name but I think it was on Quotev? 2. I'm a bit embarrassed by it but you have to understand sometimes I look up certain fanfictions simply because I need to know if anyone has written any 'x reader' stuff for this or that character.)
Why did you choose the name Jaxon? Just because it sounded cool or a deeper reason?
-🪿
lmaoo this is going to reveal some of the horrors of my writing process but here we go!
So when I'm creating an oc they actually all start out with my name so in the beginning, Jaxon was actually Ryker. It's only until after the rest of the outline for the oc is finished (personality, backstory, role, etc.) that I finally choose a name for them. This is partially because I'm lazy, but it's also because then I get to choose a name that I think fits them well since I now have a better idea of what they're like
So when the time came that I wanted to share Jaxon on my blog, I scrolled though a list of 1,000 names until I found one I was satisfied with. I actually ended up liking the name Jaxon a lot and thought it fit him well, so that's the name I went with!
#reblog#random#writing discussion#naming discussion#jaxon is such a cool name#i think the anon is goose but on desktop all i see is a square frame#curiosity killed the cat and theres several reasons im a ghost#once looked up if theres any spongebob x reader and absolutely suprised by how many there are#i cant even view spongebob as a dateable entity it just that doesnt exist so i didnt even bother reading any#all these peeps watched spongebob and somehow saw him as a dateable entity?#like spongebob is just sponge bob#the fanfiction that made me give bebe actual thought was a bowser x reader#where reader character was peach's sister#but i liked the idea more of peach's unknown sister that runs the underground part of the kingdom#bebe has evolved from street rat crime child thatll hit ya with a big hammer for candy#to a princess character#to bobo the ruler of an underground mushroom kingdom#essentially i guess twisted wonderland bobo is a twisted form of princess peach but not really since shes not like princess peach#but i have the cursed idea running in my head that she could be seen like that if i admit about the bowser x reader fanfiction#it was actually interesting fanfiction to me and society tells me to be embarrassed so i am#i would love a spinoff mario game where walugi is the main character and he ends up in a secret underground mushroom kingdom#this kingdom being like the secret actual running government of the mushroom kingdom or something like that#and to be a foil to princess peach and princess daisy the princess of this kingdom is short#rude and easily angered too#supposedly peach and daisy where going to have opposites like how mario has wario but they decided they didnt want to give everyone opposit#bobo the clown haunts me#if you seriously read all the tags then please dont ask what fanfictions ive looked up#im still horribly disappointed by the lack of haskill x reader that man is amazing#haskill as in the oblivion dlc average office worker man#he just like larry from pokemon crimson and violet
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yuujispinkhair · 1 year ago
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Hockey player! Sukuna headcanons
Inspired by this lovely ask by @subarusuguru. You made my head spin with the idea of hockey player Sukuna!! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me! I had to write a little something 💗
Pairing: Hockey player!Sukuna x Reader (female) Genre: fluff + smut Word Count: 700 Warnings: 18+, smut, mentions of injuries, but nothing bad. All characters are of age. Divider by @/benkeibear
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Hockey player!Sukuna, who is a devil on the ice. The rival teams always know they will have several injured players after each match against Sukuna. He has a very aggressive playstyle, and his speed and strength, combined with his quick mind, make him unstoppable.
Hockey player!Sukuna, whose maroon eyes always find you when he enters the ice. He winks at you and makes a kissy face, laughing when you blow him a kiss back. The whole hockey arena can know that you are his, and he is yours. And anyone who dares make a rude comment about him being so soft for his girl will receive a brutal body check that sends them facefirst onto the ice or into the boards.
Hockey player!Sukuna, who has a mad glint in his eyes during the whole match. He is ambitious and confident, and he always plays to win. He loves being an asshole and taunt his opponents, laughing when he can get under their skin with his snide comments. But no matter how much Sukuna riles them up, they still aren't able to stop him because he always puts his whole anger and strength into his game.
Hockey player!Sukuna, who is a completely different man when he goes on the ice with his princess. Treating you with so much care and being such a gentleman. He holds your hand to make sure you don't fall when he teaches you how to ice skate. And once he can see you are ready for the next step, he lets go of you and tells you to skate toward him to get a kiss.
Hockey player!Sukuna, who has so much fun when showing you how to play hockey. Your time on the ice is filled with playful fights and good-natured teasing comments that are so flirty that you get butterflies the whole time. His laugh sounds different too, happy and free, and he only uses his strength to pick you up and pin you against the boards so he can kiss you until you are breathless.
Hockey player!Sukuna, who grins that charming grin when he lets you score and praises you for being such a natural talent, even though you know you suck. Of course, Sukuna also has to show off a little in front of his girl, and he steals the puck from you easily, making you gasp at his speed and watch with wide eyes and a smitten expression on your face as your boyfriend skates across the ice and shoots the puck into the goal with so much force it almost rips the net.
Hockey player!Sukuna, who feels a proud buzz running through his veins anytime he sees you in his jersey. Somehow it drives him crazy to see you walking around with his last name on your back. It spurs him on to play even better and show you that he is worthy to be your man. Maybe he should buy a ring and give you his last name on your ID too, and not just on a jersey.
Hockey player!Sukuna, who loves to fuck you in the locker room after every match when his teammates have left. A victory fuck to celebrate when he is still pumped full of adrenaline and euphoria, pulling you onto his lap and bouncing you on his thick cock while groaning in your ear and telling you that it is all thanks to your love and support that makes him play so damn good. Or an angry fuck after a loss to make him feel ok again, lifting you up and slamming you against the shower wall, snapping his hips fast, fucking you hard and deep, growling your name when he cums in you and finds sweet relief in your warm cunt.
Hockey player!Sukuna, who can't stop smiling when you dote on him when he is injured after a rough match. He has a high pain tolerance and doesn't really worry all that much about the injuries, but he loves it when you take care of him and look at him with so much worry in your eyes. It makes him feel so warm, and so he happily plays along and lets you change his bandages, pet his hair, and cuddle him.
Hockey player!Sukuna, who loves to win, but who thinks his biggest victory was winning your heart.
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I am so in love with him!! Thank you so much for sending me that prompt!! I hope you liked my little headcanons ;)
Comments and reblogs would be very sweet 💗
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genderqueerdykes · 11 months ago
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here's to trans men with anger issues. here's to trans men who are loud or raise their voices without realizing, neurodivergent or otherwise. here's to trans men who get irritable or frustrated or impatient easily due to trauma, neurodivergence, mental illness, pain, or other disabilities, here's to trans men who can't take care of themselves, here's to trans men who can't stuff down their emotions, here's to trans men with violent intrusive thoughts, here's to trans men who snap without meaning to, here's to paranoid and psychotic trans men who become scared or hostile toward others without causing violence due to delusions and hallucinations, here's to trans men who struggle with homicidal ideation
here's to trans men who are bitter and angry and don't want to get better, here's to trans men who have tried to recover from trauma and have failed, here's to trans men who can't access proper mental health care because they aren't taken seriously, here's to trans men with mental health care trauma, here's to trans men who cope poorly with anger and hit inanimate objects and do "scary" things that don't actually hurt other people physically or emotionally.
here's to trans men with complicated mental health issues who need help but get insulted and called mean, rude, scary, shitty, assholes, dicks, jackasses and abusers. here's to trans men being human, too, and struggling with things just like anyone else. that doesn't make us evil, we are heavily traumatized by cisheteronormative society. here's to trans men who don't hurt other people but get told they do because people won't let men struggle with their emotions. i love you. you're loved. keep your chin up.
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st4rbwrry · 7 months ago
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𝒩𝒪𝒪𝒦𝐼𝐸.
⸝⸝ ౨ৎ :: getou isn’t fond of the new gardener you hired who’s clearly flirting with you when he’s not home.
warnings ౨ৎ 2.7k. fem!reader, lowercase intended, cunninglingus/face riding, cottage core au? + getou’s a farmer, missionary in da kitchen, praising ofc, exhibitionism, jealousy, possessiveness, getou’s kinda rude, sub / dom dynamic, established relationship, rough play, m oral, impact play, unprotected, pet names ex. [ baby, sweetheart ], minors aren’t welcomed! comments and reblogs are appreciated! ♡
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getou doesn’t appreciate that you aren’t greeting him with his usual kisses after you raise on your tippy toes to smooch him after he comes home from a long day of churning butter and tending to livestock. it doesn’t make him happy to know that you’re not tending to his attention and rather giving it to another man after he strolls through your large kitchen, that he built for you, to head into the back of your farmhouse to find you giggling and conversing with the new gardener. a gardener that you personally hired that he had yet to meet.
he could smell the pan of shepherds pie and cornbread in the oven, ignoring the way his stomach growls hungrily and it quickly being consumed with irritation. you’re wearing your cute pink apron with tiny patterns of sunflowers and bunnies as you hold a woven basket of freshly picked strawberries the man before you tossed into. having a conversation about fucking strawberries. he didn’t expect this man to be. . . of your type. tall, nice smile, good hair, makes you laugh a little too fucking hard. what about fruits could possibly be so fucking funny, [♡]?
“what a surprise,” getou’s voice is laced with annoyance, deep and causing the two to go silent as he makes his way down the steps to stand directly next to you. you blink, knowing your husband very well and easily you could tell he’s off.
“hi, baby! this is matteo, he’s our new gardener! we were talking a lot about the new setup i plan on having!” the smile on your face is pure, looking back and forth between getou and your gardener. “he just started today.”
“hey, man. nice to meet you. your wife told me all about you,” matteo remains professional, extending his hand for a handshake. you roll your lips in, waiting for your husband to comply with respect. it’s silent as you stare between both men, feeling the hairs on the back of your neck rise from anxiousness.
“mhm,” is all getou can say, matteo taken aback by his approach. it’s extremely rude, and you blink excessively to keep your composure. taking a deep breath, you form a tight lipped smile towards your gardener.
“excuse me for a moment,” you speak, side eyeing getou before pulling him to the side, matteo continuing his job by picking juicy fruits from their stems.
“what’s your deal? that was fucking rude,” you denounce, gawking up at him with a raised brow. getou folds his bulky arms, not understanding how you’re acting dumb right now. you knew this would piss him off.
getou leans down to get closer to you, lips inches from your ear. “who told you to hire somebody like this?"
"hire somebody like what?" the man retaliates, overhearing getou’s weak attempt of whispering to you, taking offense. regardless, he spoke on his name when he was right there.
getou turns his face only an inch or so, barely giving the man full attention. you swallow, his face nearly touching your own possessively, like an animal protecting it’s mate. getou then switches his eyes fully, intensely staring at the man. "like someone she'd fuck."
his immature response causes you to step away from him with a look of disgust, brows pinched with anger. you couldn’t believe his mouth. you’re not sure what the fuck’s gotten into him, but it wasn’t cute. quite frankly, he looked stupid.
“you’re making a fucking fool of yourself,” you spat, eyes burning. knocking your head back in the sweet gardeners direction, you hold your hand over your heart apologetically. “i am truly sorry for my husband’s rudeness. please forgive me for this, but i think it’s best if you go. i will give you a call tomorrow. i’m sorry again.”
the man nods only once, keeping his focus solely on you, not even bothering to glance in your husband’s direction. his possessiveness a black cloud over the party. “it’s not a problem at all. have a great rest of your day, ma’am.”
the minute your gardener is out of view, that’s when you give getou an irritated snarl, looking him up and down as if the man had no shame. which he didn’t, and that was the problem. “what is wrong with you?!”
getou intakes air as you strut away angrily, heading back into your kitchen to adapt into the ignoring him bubble and completely tuning into your dinner prepping. since you have freshly picked strawberries, you decided to start a mixture for muffins you could sell to the neighborhood tomorrow morning. a festival was being held at the ranch a few blocks down, already promising a few ladies you’d whip something up sweet.
getou follows behind, studying as you huff and puff to yourself while gathering eggs, milk and other things you needed.
“you didn’t answer my question.”
“because it’s fucking stupid. why’d i hire someone to help me out? oh my god, such a mystery.”
“you’re being immature.”
that causes you to stop all movements. holding onto the edges of the island and staring at him with disbelief, mouth actually drawn open as you scoff. “i’m immature? because you didn’t just disrespect that man for no reason. you know him or sum?”
“don’t act slow. you hired that man ‘cause he’s someone you can eye fuck when i’m not home. don’t pretend you don’t find him attractive,” getou grits his teeth.
you roll your eyes. “ohh, so it’s jealousy! why would i want to cheat on someone i’m in love with? you’re being extremely distrustful. take that shit out of my kitchen, suguru.”
“say that again,” he’s approaching you now, getou observing as you cross your arms and pretend to be unfazed by how much bigger he was compared to you. his bare feet thumps along the floor as he nears you, hands in the pockets of his dark washed jeans, shoulders broad as he stared down at you darkly. now your body’s pressed up against the kitchen counter, turning your head the opposite way to avoid eye contact.
“suguru,” you stand on what you say, uncaring. your husband deviously grins.
getou kisses his teeth smugly. you practically moan when his hand grips your jaw to bring your attention back, fingers denting into your cheeks to make your lips pout, head tilted back. “watch that mouth of yours. there’s no need to be bratty.”
teeth sinks into your lips he gawks at for a split second before meeting your eyes again. a feeble noise comes from you as he swiftly pulls up your white sundress, hands on the backs of your thighs to spread you open, fingers pulling your pussy open. not surprised to see you weren't wearing underwear. really, that pisses him off even further. it’s windy out and you were engaging in conversation with that man knowing your pussy was bare. he wants to laugh, seeing how wet you are already. fucking nympho. even though you’re mad, you can’t ignore how hot his touch makes you. you gulp, holding onto the edge of the counter as your gut flips after he crouched on one knee.
his breath hits your clit, and instantly your thighs tremble, getou slowly sticking his tongue out his mouth, wide, long, and slick with saliva. it hovers over your clit, barely touching it. part of you wants to grab his hair and shove him down, but the look in his eyes says not to try it. his fingers come up to your face, extending two of the long digits inside of your mouth. you suck obediently, moaning around them while rolling forward towards his, aching for it. his free hand smacks your inner thigh causing you to release his fingers and whimper, getou wasting zero time and curling them deep into you, shaking them frivolously as his lips suction on your clit, kissing your pussy deeply, using so much saliva.
his stare is hard on you the entire time, wrist moving instantaneously as he fucks you with them. he’s having a ball watching you wither and roll your hips, squealing and raising your thighs higher to your chest, listening to his fingers slam into you, that gushing sound of your pussy coating his fingers.
"c-can’t. . .”
"shut up," briskly, he pulls his fingers out and spanks your clit with them, standing to his feet, towering over you. you rest your head back against the wall by the window, shifting your body since your ass hurt a little from being on a granite countertop.
most of his words are blocked out as you watch the sexually pent-up man drag his pants down until they sit at his waist, pussy clenching at the dark pubic hairs sticking out, lust in your eyes as his veiny, big hand fists his cock. the thick vein leading up to the crown leaking precum makes you smile hazily.
"look at me when i’m talking to you."
you're too fucking mesmerized by him. his slightly dirty white tshirt is hiked up now, godly sculpted abs enticing you to run your fingers over them with a giddy laugh. getou tilts his head to the side, clenching his jaw.
"hey," he calls to you, snapping his fingers twice in your face, voice deeper than usual. you can see that he's not up for bullshit. he’s arched over you, hair sticking to his forehead as he places his right hand on your lower back, arching into him until your chest presses against his. "listen to me when i talk to you, woman.”
the smell of his skin is intoxicating, reaching your hands behind him to claw at his ass, open mouth on his chin, moaning as he slides deep into you, looking down at you with a groan escaping his throat, furrowing his thick brows. getou tries not to lose it, because despite his frustration, there's no way he could deny just how fucking good you felt pulling him deep right now. you hold tight, eyes hazy as he pounds into you without another word, arm stretching over to press his palm on the cabinet above, balancing himself and dragging you to meet him thrust for thrust.
"pussy so needy for me. it fuckin’ better be,” please shut up, is what you think. his voice is too damn addictive, and the way he fucks you, virulently, like he fucking despised you . . . you didn't know if you could take much more. the other half of your brain is the opposite, thanking him over and over.
"oh, look, princess. there’s your favorite man,” it doesn't register that the two of you are legit fucking near an open window where anyone could see. “let’s say hi, baby."
unsure why he came back, it only takes ten seconds for your sweet gardener to immediately be swept with trauma, catching a glimpse at the two of you, getou’s dark eyes burning into him while yours are shut to hide the embarrassment, stomach still flipping with rouse. his fingers has your jaw locked still to keep your fucked out face in the direction of the man who’s nothing short of unimpressed. tasteless, he thinks. wasting no time and turning away to hop back inside of his truck, only coming because he forgot to give you back the key to your garage. his lips are by your ear now. "looks like we’ll have to hire someone else.”
"you’re s-so . . . mean,” it’s the only thing you can think of, trembling and yanking your face out of his grasp. you wanna say you hate him, but deep down you knew this is what you've been craving all along. he’s exactly how you wanted him to be; lecherous. "fuck, can’t stand you.”
"you love me, sweetheart,” he coed, you hiccup. sobbing as he throws one of your legs over his arm, angling his hips slightly to the right and hitting into you faster, rolling your neck back, listening to how viscous his skin claps with your own, and his breath fans over your face.
"awe," he pouts, giving your forehead a chaste kiss. "y‘not gonna say it back?”
“d’nt deserve it,” you’re slurring your words and it pisses you off how dumb he makes you. his hand is around your neck now, choking you until you feel the blood rushing to your skull, luring the back of your own hand to your lips, using it as some sort of blockage for how loud you were being. louder than usual.
inching his lips towards yours, he studies how desperate you are to latch your lips with his, only for him to snatch them away. “then you don’t deserve my kiss.”
a frustrated whine leaves your throat, getou humming tauntingly, delicately skimming his bitten red lips over yours with a moan following along with a whispered ‘no’. tightening his lock around your neck, he rolls his hips deeper, your hand clutching his wrist with tears in your eyes. “not until you tell me you love me.”
you gently sink your teeth into the back of your hand, getou leaning closer before sloppily kissing at your palm where your lips rested, an evil stare painted his expression. he sucks, licks, and moans on your hand, knowing you were wishing he'd do that to your mouth instead. fuck, that was enough to get you to the breaking point. thighs trembling as you drop your mouth open, nothing coming out.
"wait, are you gonna cum?" his mouth upturns as he widens his eyes and mouth with fake surprise. "you’re cumming, aren't you? don’t cum. if you cum, i’ll stop."
"suguru, fucking stop—"
"stop what, huh? why you talkin' back?" shoving his thumb in your mouth, he fucks you harder, body jolting as your eyes roll back and your mouth drools, clutching his wrist harder to keep him there. "weren't you gonna cum?"
"yessss!" you wail, tears falling down your eyes. that coil in the pit of your stomach is ready to snap, getou’s sadistic voice ringing in your ears as he praises you, hips ramming harder to get you to break, clutching the back of his neck and screaming into his chest, giving him the answer he wants, riding the wave. "love you. love you.”
“good girl, good girl,” he proceeds to fuck you through it, just enough until you're pushing at his stomach to stop, kissing up the side of his neck drunkenly. getou slides out of you, holding back a moan before he's grabbing your hand and pulling you off the counter, holding your waist so you don't fall over.
"knees, now."
you're more than happy to lower to your knees, already knowing what to prepare for, lulled, teary eyes focusing on him and the slick coated cock stretching over your face. you hold onto the back of his thighs, widening your mouth and sticking your tongue out, getou holding your head still before gliding his dick inside the cave of heat now inundating him, jaw dropping, using the other hand to hold the cabinet once more and mercilessly fucking your throat. his moans are coarse, grunting and throwing his head back, hips stuttering as he holds you still and shoots deep in your mouth, cursing thousands of times he nearly filled the dictionary.
"swallow it and show me," and you do, without hesitation, sticking your tongue out proudly and it makes getou even prouder. "that’s my girl."
"whatever," you wipe the side of your mouth, getou lifting you off the floor, legs still too weak to function.
“there’s that mouth again, sweetheart. cut it short before i fuck you harder,” oh, he’s serious. that darkness in his eyes telling you not to try it again.
“s-sorry, baby. love you,” you give him those pretty doe eyes he falls weak to, rubbing your hands over his waist while placing your chin on his chest. batting your lashes innocently.
getou hums. “tell me that after you get rid of that fuckin’ gardener.”
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© 𝒮𝒯𝟦𝑅𝐵𝒲𝑅𝑅𝒴! all rights reserved. please do not repost, steal, or modify my work simply because it is mine. stealing isn't cute. i'll ruin your life ♡
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galamalion · 1 year ago
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୨୧. 𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐁𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐄
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summary. luffy's relationship with hancock begins to strike a deep nerve within you.
⤷ contents. monkey d. luffy x gn!reader, fluff + angst, boa hancock is rude, jealous!reader, light angst (resolved by the end), slight miscommunication // wc. 2.1k
⤷ notes. request by @amortentiaz for a jealous!reader over luffy's relationship with boa hancock. i think i got a little too invested in writing reader's anger, maybe i should write some more angst... i hope you enjoy! <3
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Your boyfriend wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed.
Was he caring? Of course, he cuddled and hugged and kissed you near constantly. Was he attentive? Easily, he always wanted to snuggle with you, no matter your location—even if it led to some unfortunate circumstances.
But he may just be the most scatterbrained boyfriend anyone could ask for, and your current situation was perhaps the best example of his obliviousness.
"Ah, Luffy! I have more food if you want it!"
"Really?! Thank you, Hancock!"
You and Luffy had gotten pulled off your ship by a terrible storm, only a small makeshift raft of wood to keep you afloat. A miracle had led you to land on Amazon Lily, an island led by a woman with a fixation for Luffy.
And so here you were, stuck watching the most beautiful woman in the world drape herself over your boyfriend like they'd been married for the last thirty years. Sure, your boyfriend was the greatest catch in the East Blue, but he was your boyfriend. Not Hancock's 'sweetie pie honey bun super-special pirate king.'
You had just finished talking with Jimbei through the snail transponder, who informed you that the ship would be there tomorrow in the morning. Unfortunately, that meant you would have to stay here.
"Alright, Luffy," you sighed, "The Thousand Sunny will be here in the morning, which means that we're stuck here for tonight."
"There's a room prepared for you in the palace if you need it, Luffy! I can have whatever you need brought there," Hancock swooned, feeding Luffy a drumstick.
"Ooh! Hey, is there anything you need, ____?" Luffy turned to ask, voice muffled by all the meat stuffed inside his mouth.
You looked behind Luffy to meet eyes with Hancock, watching her expression sour at the mention of your name.
"I think I'm fine. Thanks, Luf," you muttered, crossing your arms.
"Ok, but Hancock can bring us anything, so if you change your mind you can ask her!" he grinned, taking another large bite of the drumstick.
You sighed, briefly meeting eyes with Hancock who silently scoffed at your presence. Angrily, you stomped out of the palace and out of the town, going far, far away from the oh-so benevolent queen of the island.
As you walked into the expansive forest of the island, you began kicking a rock with each step, muttering under your breath.
"Oh Luffy, here's some yummy food!" you kicked the rock. "Oh Luffy, what dress do you think I should wear?" you kicked the rock. "Oh Luffy, you should break up and we should get married and have a bunch of tiny beautiful babies!"
You kicked the rock off the path, watching it roll off into underbrush and onto the grass floor of the forest.
"Go on then," you grumbled, "go get married to the prettiest girl in the world! then you can really be King of the Pirates..."
As you walked further into the tropical forest of the island, you came upon a rocky cliff, a beautiful location covered in small plants and light foliage. Rocks jutting out harshly in every which way, moss growing upon it, unbothered and untouched.
This is just what you need.
You stepped up to the edge of the cliff and gazed at the forest below, wild and vibrant green hues filling up every space you looked at. The sky was similar, a brilliant cloudless blue, like a calm blue sea without a boat in sight. You could stare at this serene scene for all of eternity, if only time allowed.
Sighing wistfully, you closed your eyes and stretched your body, taking a deep breath.
And then, you screamed.
You screamed at nothing and everything, all at once. At Hancock and Luffy, together, singularly, at their actions, at their attitudes. You shrieked at Hancock's cruel expressions, her blatant disregard for your own feelings. You screeched at Luffy's oblivious disposition, his inability to realize how you felt about all of this. You screamed until your throat burned, until you could feel your eyes welling up with tears and your screams turned into sobs turned into silent crying.
Needless to say, it was a much needed catharsis.
You calmed yourself down and walked back to the bustling city, taking in the nature surrounding you. As you continued walking, a long, rubbery leg touched down onto the forest path. The leg was attached to your boyfriend, who jumped down from the trees with a bewildered and frightened expression on his face.
"Are you okay ____?!" I heard—"
"I'm fine," you snapped, brushing past him.
Luffy gave you a confused look as you walked towards the village, on your way to check out the room in the palace Hancock so graciously gave you.
It was placed right next door to Hancock's own chambers, no doubt because she wanted to keep Luffy close, but the interior was far more shocking. Instead of a giant king sized bed in the middle, two beds—one far bigger than the other—with a great deal of space separating them were inside. It was almost too obvious to tell which bed was Luffy's, given the amount of food and gift baskets surrounding it.
You were just shocked that she put you in Luffy in the same room.
Deciding it wasn't worth complaining about, you instead searched around the castle in search of a library, a place Luffy would never look for you.
It wasn't that you were mad at him. No, it would be more accurate to say that you were furious. But you knew deep inside your mind that it wasn't his fault. But you also knew that if you saw him again, you would blow up, explode, in his face.
You stayed in the library until midnight, reading fairy tales and historical texts, immersing yourself in the stories and history these books contained. You could feel the anger and jealousy in your veins dwindle with each page you read.
Once you had returned your amassed collection of books back to their shelves, you made your way back to your room. Expectations were low, you were fairly certain that Luffy wouldn't have a clue regarding your feelings, and a conversation would most certainly need to happen.
Walking quietly to your shared room, you carefully opened the door. the first thing you noticed was that Luffy was still awake, crouched in the middle of his bed. It wasn't strange for Luffy to be awake so late in the night, knowing that his sleep schedule was pretty irregular, but an unusually upset expression was etched into his face.
The second thing you noticed was that the delicious gifts surrounding his bed were uneaten, unopened, the wrapping on a few having not been touched.
Luffy noticed you immediately, the corners of his lips pulling down even further, his brow furrowed in a mixture of, seemingly, sadness and confusion, like a puppy watching their owner leave for the first time.
"Are you mad at me?" he blurted out quietly, clutching his knees.
All you could do was sigh in response, moving to sit on your own bed.
"I don't know," you confessed, looking away from him. "I'm...mad, yeah. But at you? I don't know."
Luffy remained quiet until you decided to break the silence.
"Hancock is pushy," you crossed your arms, "she's pushing my boundaries and she's pushing her way between us. I know she's a friend of yours and she's helped you a lot, but it hurts to watch her snuggle up to you and talk about the 'love' between you."
You looked up at Luffy, seeing the realization and hurt flood his eyes, his fingers twitching as his legs slid towards the edge of the bed.
He didn't say anything yet, instead squeezing the blankets and looking down at his feet, clearly composing his thoughts.
"I'm sorry, ____," Luffy whispered, standing up from the bed. "I know Hancock does nice things for me, but I don't see her like I see you,"
"Then why don't you tell her off? Tell her to leave you alone, tell her you're in a relationship?" you pushed, feeling the jealousy seething out of you.
Luffy frowned and walked closer to you, sitting down on your bed. "You're the greatest treasure I've ever found," he confessed, moving his hands to yours, "it's like you're so shiny and bright, and everybody else is all gray. I know Hancock talks a lot and gives me a lot of food, but if you don't want me to talk or take stuff from her, then I won't, promise!"
Despite your attempts to remain stoic, you were unable to disguise the twinge of a smile caused by Luffy's statement, choosing to nuzzle your face in his neck to hide.
"You don't have to ignore her, Luf. Just ask her to tone it down, maybe? She is the queen of this place. Even if I'm mad at her, I'd rather not piss off someone who can kill us with a snap of her fingers," you mumbled, playing with his vest.
Luffy gave you a big hug, wrapping his rubbery arms around once, and then twice. "If she tries to hurt you, then I'll stop her! You're way more awesome than her," Luffy declared with a pout, falling back into your tiny bed with you in his arms, "and I promise I'll be an extra awesome boyfriend for you."
"You're too sweet, Luf," you laughed softly, hugging him tighter. "But maybe we should move to the bigger bed?"
"I'm too tired, and I'm already comfy," he whined.
"Fine," you grumbled, too tired to argue with your much stronger boyfriend (and captain.)
"G'night, ____," Luffy hummed, pulling you closer to his chest.
You smiled, shutting your eyes, "Night, Luffy."
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The morning seemed to come swiftly, light spilling into the room and striking your face. Your boyfriend was still wrapped around you like a vice, caging you tightly against his chest.
"Luffy," you groaned, trying to push him away, "you gotta let me go, it's time to get up,"
Luffy moaned and pressed his face to your chest, "Five more minutes, pretty please?"
"Jimbei said the ship would be here in the morning, the mor-ning, Luf. If we're late to meet them then Nami will beat our asses."
"Then I'll beat her up!"
"Then I'll have to dig your grave."
Luffy pouted and retracted his arms, crossing them, "Fine, we can go now."
Now free from you boyfriend's hold, you and Luffy changed your clothes for the new day, then exited the bedroom.
Immediately upon opening the door, you were greeted with the beautiful, illuminating face of Boa Hancock, who was clearly shocked and upset to see you exit with Luffy.
"Ah, Luffy! I just wanted to see if you wanted to have breakfast? I've had 60 eggs cooked and 30 plates of meat—"
"Sorry, Hancock!" Luffy interrupted, scooping you up and throwing you over his shoulder, "we've gotta go!"
"But—"
Without letting her get another word out, Luffy sprinted through the halls of the palace and out of an expansive window, stretching his way across the viridian forest below.
The sights below were familiar, but it was strange seeing them down below. You could make out the path you travelled through the leaves, even catching a glimpse of the cliff you had stood on last night, a horrible moment during a horrible day that seemed so far away now.
As Luffy jumped from tree to tree, occasionally breaking through the canopy to give you that bird's-eye view, you eventually landed at the gate to Amazon Lily, where the thousand sunny was currently floating.
"Hey, lovebirds!" Nami yelled up, waving her arms, "you're just in time! Let's get out of here!"
"Please, let me go! I need to get onto that island!" Sanji cried out, held in place by Robin's devil fruit-generated limbs.
Luffy let out a boisterous laugh, "We're comin' down! Let's go, ____!" he howled, sprinting towards the ledge.
You looked over your shoulder, fear in your eyes, "Luffy, don't you dare!"
Luffy, ignoring your pleas for a safer entrance, leapt onto the ship with a battle cry, landing perfectly on the wooden deck with you in hand. He gently set you down, flashing a grin as he patted your shoulder.
"Wasn't that fun?!" Luffy exclaimed, dusting off his straw hat.
You collapsed in shock, sprawling your limbs out on the deck as you recovered from your near-death situation.
"We'll...we'll work on that," you panted, desperately attempting to catch your breath.
"Sweet! Let's go now!" Luffy cheered, pulling you back up
"Go? Where?" you asked, astonished, "we just got back to the ship?"
"I told ya, I'm gonna be and extra super awesome boyfriend!" he beamed, "now we have to go do some extra super awesome stuff!"
He once again wrapped you up in his arms, flashing a smile as he hugged you.
"I promise I'm gonna be a way better boyfriend from now on, I won't disappoint you!" he beamed.
You smiled back and ruffled his hair, kissing his forehead.
"You're already the best boyfriend I could ask for, Luffy."
"But I can be better!"
"Better than best?"
"Best of the best!"
You threw you head back and laughed, squeezing him back.
"Alright, Luf. Show me what you have in mind."
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elihermit · 3 months ago
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lost in the memories
pairing: Evan “Buck” Buckley x fem!reader
summary: after the incident at work where Buck had to rescue you, you ended up in coma and relieved every moment of your relationship with Buck
word count: 2,1k
note from the writer: i’m so excited to finally share my first imagine with you! i’m taking requests 🫧
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Breath in and breathe out. That’s what Buck always said when you start panicking and feel anxious. But today this panic was not over missing a deadline for your task at work, it wasn’t something you could easily fix.
You work as a psychologist who helps your patients get through the trauma of the past and find the strength to move on.
The day started as usual: morning kisses and cuddles with Buck, breakfast, I love you's, and you both went to work. But then everything is just blank, you didn't even get a chance to take your first patient or maybe you did? You can’t even remember.
You woke up at your apartment, cuddling your favorite toy, you got it when you were 9 years old and since then — it’s your lucky charm. You look at your screen to check the time — “8am”. Good, you have time to grab the breakfast at your favorite spot.
Brush your teeth, shower, get dressed, put on some makeup and you’re ready to go.
“Good morning, (Y/N)! Let me guess, latte with raspberry syrup and English breakfast?” — it was Alice, the waitress in your favorite spot. You go here almost every day and you truly can say that she became your friend.
“Good morning, Alice! Yes, you know I can’t start my day without you teasing me and my favorite coffee to get through this.” — you can’t help but smile, she really knows how to highlight your day.
“Of course.” — Alice smiled. “How many patients do you have today? I think I need to make you two coffees.” — she remembered when yesterday you had 5 patients and you came back to the cafe to buy one extra coffee. You loved your job, but sometimes it was too much even for your professional head. Poor people, they don’t deserve to live with all of those traumas.
“Yes please. You’re an angel!” — you gave her a grateful look and agreed on her offer.
Now you have 30 minutes to eat your breakfast and the place was so packed, you were lucky to take the table the moment you walked into the cafe.
About halfway through enjoying your breakfast and making your schedule for tomorrow, you heard someone approaching you.
“Excuse me, I’m so sorry for disturbing you, but could I please sit with you? There’s no empty table and I think I will actually go nuts if I don’t eat.” — you raise your head and it was the most gorgeous man you have ever laid your eyes on. Pretty blue eyes, brown hair and the body of Greek God. Fuck, you stared too long, gotta answer quickly.
“Of course. I got you, this morning anger because of being hungry is not very cutesy.” — you laughed and pointed at the seat in front of you.
“Oh my god, yes! Thank you so much, my co-workers just got saved from my rudeness by…” — he sat down and didn’t finish his sentence so you could tell him your name.
“I’m (Y/N), nice to meet you. Happy to help, we don’t want to give your co-workers some traumas.” — you chuckled. God, you can’t forget about your work even when you have free time.
“That’s very true.” — he laughed. “I’m Evan, but you can call me Buck.” — the way he smiled… This image definitely won’t leave your head.
Suddenly, everything went dark. It’s like there was only one lamp that shined on your table. Buck started crying. You never heard any man cry like this. So much pain, desperation and suffering. With his head on his hands, you could see how his shoulders trembled with every cry.
He raised his head and looked into your eyes with so much sadness.
“Please, come back to me.”
Darkness. You move your finger. Why can you move ONLY your finger? What’s going on? It doesn’t feel right. You can’t see, you can’t move, you can’t speak and hear. Just darkness.
You open the door. Here he is, in all of his glory. Your partner, your love, your friend and your boyfriend in one person.
“Okay, I got every snack you like, you ready for our movie night?” — there’s a big bag of goods in front of Buck and he’s smiling like The Cheshire Cat.
You smile and pull him into the kiss. The sweetest kiss you have ever had. The best lips you have ever tasted. You already knew it would end up being Netflix & Chill.
“I missed you so much.” — you say into his lips and he gives you one more kiss before leading you to the couch.
You sat on the couch immediately getting trapped in his embrace. You didn’t mind at all. There’s no place in the world where you would rather be.
“Did you pick a movie? It’s your turn today, baby.” — you loved your tradition when at least 2-3 times a week you have movie nights. Last time you watched a movie called… You actually can’t remember, making love to each other sounded better after 15 minutes into the movie.
“Yes.” — he makes you look into his face. “Come back to me.”
Darkness. What the fuck is going on? You can feel you squeeze someone’s hand but you can’t see anything. Is that some kind of dream? More like a nightmare actually. Why are you getting pulled out of the most happiest moments of your life?
Buck. You feel so scared without him, you feel so alone. You want to scream “I’m here!”, but not a single word comes out of your mouth. That must be some kind of horrible joke.
You look into the mirror one more time and notice Buck staring at you with a smile.
“Okay, baby, first of all — you know you can stare and touch.” — you said with a smirk and Buck immediately made his way over you. He put his hands on your waist and yours gently fell on his neck. “Secondly, remind me again why we’re gathering in the middle of the week?”
You took a day off, because Buck was convincing you that no one has any other free day and only today they can all meet up together. Honestly, you loved being at Bobby’s and Athena’s house, especially when everyone was there too. Eddie with Christopher, Hen with Karen, Chim with Maddie. It’s like having a second family and you were grateful that they accepted you and loved you as much as Buck loves you.
“(Y/N), I told you it’s the only day when everyone is actually free.” — he said and kissed you. “And to be honest, I just wanted one more day off for you, you were working your ass off past weeks.”
True. For some reason you took more patients than usual and it was exhausting two weeks. Buck is always worried when you overwork yourself, so you didn’t hesitate long when he asked you to take a day off, you felt like you needed that too.
The evening was going great. Everyone is talking, laughing, dancing and eating. It was the most fun days when you all meet up together and Buck knew you loved it. So when Buck asked everyone to give him a little attention, you giggled, because usually it was the beginning of Buck doing something funny.
“Yeah, I know you all are probably expecting me to do a back flip.” — everyone laughed. “But today is a bit different. Not gonna lie, probably it was the hardest task in my life to keep everything a secret.” — you furrowed your brows, what secret?
But Buck continued.
“(Y/N), can you stand next to me, please?” — you’re confused, but you did what he asked. “My love, I know you’re confused and probably thinking that I had too many drinks. And I might be drunk, but I’m drunk in love. The moment I saw you in that cafe, I knew I couldn’t lose you. Honestly, the waitress said that there will be an empty table in 5 minutes, but I still chose to sit with you. Because how could I not?”
You started to realize. Is he… proposing? The love of your life is proposing to you?
“Buck…” — you could feel tears forming in the corners of your eyes.
“Baby, I can’t imagine my life without you and can’t even remember my life before you, that’s how well you filled all the missing pieces. So…” — Buck got on one knee, pulled a pretty little velvet box out of his pocket and asked the most important question that you didn’t even know you needed to hear. “Will you make me the happiest man alive and be my wife?” — you froze, tears started streaming down your cheeks. All the love you had for Buck just got 10 times stronger.
“Yes!” — you smiled happily and fell on your knees to kiss Buck.
He pulled the ring out of the box, carefully placing it on your finger and looked into your eyes.
“Then please, (Y/N)… Come back to me.”
Darkness. Honestly, you’re getting tired of this. You either died or got trapped in the most fucked up dream. And knowing that you don’t really have dreams, there’s only one option left. Are you actually dying? This can’t be real, right?
In the past 3 years your life has finally fallen into the right places. You met Buck, work was going great, you’re supposed to marry the love of your life… You cannot miss that. “Till death do us apart” doesn’t mean that you have to die so soon. You need to come back!
“My love, I know you probably don’t hear me, but I can’t do it without you.” — you heard the echo in this pitch blackness. It was Buck. “We had so much ahead of us, do you remember? We wanted to buy the house, I wanted to surprise you with the best honeymoon, we wanted to start trying on our own bab-“ — his voice broke, you heard sobs.
Your breathing has become heavier. You could feel your chest rising. Can you just open your eyes? You can’t leave Buck like this, you can’t leave your new family. You need to come back, you had so much ahead of you. Wedding, kids, travels, joy, being a wife and mother.
You heard another echo.
“Please, baby, just please come back to me…”
NOW! YOU NEED TO WAKE UP!
You could feel your eyes trembling. Darkness was replaced by white light. Heaven? There is definitely no smell of medicines in heaven.
Slowly, you open your eyes. So slow that it doesn't scare away reality.
The first image you see when you open your eyes and move your head to your right is Buck. He squeezes your hand with his head almost on the hospital bed. He’s still sobbing. It broke your heart into a million pieces. He didn’t deserve to go through this.
“Buck…” — you whisper. You can’t talk any louder, because your mouth is so dry. But he heard you.
Buck raised his head and met your eyes. You’re awake. You’re actually awake. One moment he was in hell, now he’s praising God for bringing you back.
“You came back…” — he smiled with his puffy eyes.
“How could I not? I heard you wanted me back at least four times.” — you chuckled tiredly, making jokes was your defense mechanism against difficulties.
“I thought I lost you, these 4 days were the hardest time of my entire life…” — he wanted to continue, but you interrupted him.
“4 days? W-what happened?” — you couldn’t believe it, you were out for 4 days.
“The building where you work collapsed. There was a mistake made when designing the building and it just fucking collapsed. I found you under the concrete slabs.”
Of course he was the one who rescued you. Your hero. On one hand you were happy that it’s him who saved you, but on the other he probably blames himself for not doing more, for not providing the proper safety. But let’s be honest, he did everything he could and you’re so grateful for that.
“Thank you for saving me.” — tears falling down your cheeks and you’re just happy to be back to him. To your lifeline.
He didn’t say anything, just got up and placed the most gentle kiss on your lips. Almost like he was afraid he could break you and you would vanish, that’s why you placed your hand on his cheek as a confirmation that you’re really here with him.
“So, what’s the best honeymoon you wanted to surprise me with?” — you said into his lips.
“You really heard everything?” — he asked confusedly, you giggled and kissed him once more.
Time to make more memories together.
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bouquetface · 6 months ago
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Future Spouse Based on Nakshatra - Pt. Two
Please read the following for accuracy:
Check for which nakshatra of your dakarkaka.
You may want to check the nakshatra of your Venus (for wife) and Jupiter (for husband) as well.
You may want to read for your moon & AatmaKaaraka nakshatra to see if the traits apply to you.
DISCLAIMER: Keep in mind accuracy is influenced by the ENTIRE natal chart.
PUNARVASU:
General Neutral traits:
Big lips esp lower. Long face - Oval or Oblong. Doe eyes. Larger facial features generally.
Friendly - easily connect with others.
Nurturing. Patient. Quiet. Kind. Considerate.
Likely religious. Stick to their morals over money. Sometimes have traditional values & dreams for the future.
Good communicators.
Negative traits:
Modern society may harshly judge one’s disinterest in materialism. If the disinterest is extreme, this person can have periods of life where they seriously struggle financially.
Some may feel they are so caring that they become suffocating to loved ones.
ARDA:
General Neutral traits:
Bold eye colour. Pointy chin. Often, fit due to their job requiring physical activity (ex: lots of walking)
They can prefer physically working - they may have physical hobbies.
Good memory. Curious person - open to learning/exploring more.
Generally, an honest person.
Negative Traits:
They can be impolite. Or anti-social to a point where they sometimes appear rude.
Like to indulge - must watch for overspending/overindulging in bad foods or bad habits.
Spend early life only looking out for themselves. Later in life, they undergo transformation to change for the better. Become more compassionate and religious/spiritual after a traumatic event.
MULA:
General Neutral traits:
Often the most conventionally attractive in their family. Full lips. Small almond shaped eyes.
Clever. Good communicators.
Gain a good amount of wealth. Live comfortable.
Adventurous yet cautious.
Determined to reach their goals.
Negative traits:
Can be too focused on their goals. Neglect themselves and others until they see success. Others work and help is not always appreciated.
Self-destructive habits need to be broken. A few EXAMPLES: Stubborn to the point of being arrogant. Some have issues with lust & greed. Some have issues with anger.
MAGHA:
Full lips. Dramatic eyes - can have dark circles, bold eye colour or big eyes. May appear tired. Innocent looking.
Often well liked. Likes attention. Entertaining person. Funny, witty, good at conversation.
Optimistic. Generally, stays true to their word - reliable.
Generally, gains moderate to high levels of wealth.
Negative traits:
Hot temper. Prone to feeling jealous.
Ego can be a problem.
Subconscious superiority complex when born into wealthy family. When wealth is gained themselves, they feel still feel superior but not as arrogant.
SWATI:
General Neutral traits:
Large eyes. Innocent looking. Youthful appearance. Close set eyes are likely. Prominent chin.
Independent. Good morals. Honest. Disciplined
Friendly. Optimistic. Persuasive communication.
Negative traits:
Disinterested in their family origins. This can change later in life when they have their own family.
Must learn to not over indulge - over spend/overdo.
Prone to isolate themselves due to being focused on their own personal goals/desires.
CHITRA:
General Neutral traits:
Attractive. Commonly, have dimples. Prominent front teeth. Well groomed. Good style. Conventionally attractive.
Charismatic. Social. Independent.
Well educated. May not be formally. They may seek out good literature & art. They can enjoy philosophical ways of thinking.
Usually are a younger sibling or an only child.
Negative traits:
Vain. Can be overly worried about body and style. Can overthink in general.
Observant nature makes them very critical of everyone. Ego can be a problem.
Well known. But very few true friends. Many friends turn into enemies throughout their life.
Sometimes there can be issues related to fertility in these people’s lives.
PUSHYA:
General Neutral traits:
Prominent eyebrows. Medium to wide set eyes. Generally attractive. Unique looking.
Generally, likeable. Polite. Prone to over-talking, not listening. Intuitive. Intelligent. Helpful.
Generous & Compassionate. Stands up for people. Stands up for what they believe in.
Negative traits:
Sensitive. Often view themselves as a victim. Making it difficult to accept criticism & move forward in life.
Insecurities make them doubt their self worth.
UTTRA ASHADHA:
General Neutral traits:
Strong jawline. Often hooded eyes. Long nose.
Disciplined. Hardworking. High goals. Optimistic. Generally, appear modest.
Good communicator. Popular. Often gain respect&influence at a later age.
Confident. Independent.
Good in leadership roles. & interest in helping others - social causes.
Negative traits:
Over indulgent.
Prone to overthink/anxious.
Will experience relationship struggles - often many relationships before finding the correct person for them.
UTTARA BHADRA:
General traits:
Attractive. Ethereal look. Innocent look. Wide to medium set eyes. Sharp jawline. Thin to medium lip. Strong bone structure.
Deeply empathetic but may not express it.
Strong & silent type. Have the ability to control their emotions - will do what is best for the family. As a result, often benefit from other people's money & resources - ex: inheritance or gifts.
Disciplined & hardworking. As a result, make a good level of wealth.
Rational. Good at giving advice. Stays neutral.
Generous person - often have good karma, it said they will defeat any haters/enemies.
Negative traits:
Struggle to express oneself can leave one feeling lonely & isolated. Repressed emotions can lead to emotional outburst later in life.
May unintentionally create many enemies throughout their life.
ANURADHA:
General traits:
Bunny teeth. Tall & muscular. Innocent looking. Generally attractive.
Independent & Confident. Often feel a strong sense of purpose. Determined & hardworking.
Passionate & protective. May be married to their achieving their “purpose” though.
Often desire a partner that is similarly hardworking & passionate about their work/goals.
Negative traits:
Requires to learn balance in their life. Can be overindulgent - potential examples: can enjoy gambling or unhealthy foods.
May have a slight controlling & possessive nature.
Worry a lot. Could experience periods of having difficulty managing anxiety throughout their lives.
ASHWINI:
General traits:
Full cheeks - often have a baby face through their 20s. Cute. Bold eye colour. Youthful.
Idealistic. Independent.
Adventurous. Youthful energy. Humorous. Often joyful.
Nurturing nature. Deep love for family.
Does well financially. Action orientated.
Negative traits:
Vengeful. Doesn’t forget or truly ever forgive. Many relationships turn sour throughout their life.
Impulsive. Short tempered.
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deadsnakey · 4 months ago
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𝐒𝐋𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐍 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐒 —> 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐎˚ᡴꪫ
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๋࣭ ⭑⚝ fluff ೀ Headcanons. . .ᐟ 10k words 𐙚˙⋆.˚ ┈─★
˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗
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જ⁀➴ He has a lot of issues and anger, but he tries his best to control it around you.
જ⁀➴ has never raised his voice at you because of this.
જ⁀➴ I think he's all scary and intimidating, but once you get to know him, like know him, he's genuinely sweet and a decent person.
જ⁀➴ loves being around you, he feels comfortable enough to be himself around you and that's a privilege.
જ⁀➴ loves physical touch, knowing you're still with him is reassuring and grounding for him.
જ⁀➴ spoils the actual shit out of you dude, your complaints will be shushed with a soft kiss and soft eyes, "I love you, let me spoil you, okay?"
જ⁀➴ a bad boy on the streets a gentleman in the sheets.
જ⁀➴ his friends definitely remind him how gone and whipped he is for you on a weekly and he doesn't deny it, he knows and is fine with it.
જ⁀➴ if yes ever making you uncomfortable or doing sum you don't like, he stops immediately and never does/says it again. He'd hate for you to be uncomfortable let alone from him.
જ⁀➴ loves showing you off and will shamelessly do it, because you're a goddess why wouldn't he??
જ⁀➴ I think he's still learning the rights and wrongs while dating you so just put his ass in line and he'll immediately straighten up and act right.
જ⁀➴ he's your bitch, you're his girl.
જ⁀➴ he'll let you boss him around as long as youre happy but God forbid someone else tries to boss him around and they gone (to the hospital wing..lol)
જ⁀➴ will happily watch you get ready even if it's just to go on a walk or to grab a few snacks n stuff from the store or wtvr, will gladly help with wtvr if you ask him too.
જ⁀➴ teased you a lot especially if you get flustered easily butttt knows when to stop and to not take it too far.
જ⁀➴ also he tries only doing it in private or if it's just you two somewhere bc he doesn't want someone else thinking they can also tease you, friends or not.
જ⁀➴ hatesss the thought of losing you, definitely has nightmares and needs to either be held by you or hold you, it just depends how bad it is.
જ⁀➴ feeds you so much, he ain't letting his girl go hungry ever, not on his watch. He'll happily give you his food if you're still hungry or felt like you didn't eat enough.
જ⁀➴ ass man.
જ⁀➴ his and your friends are so nauseous whenever they see you two together because y'all are so sickening In love it's gross. (Don't get fooled they think it's cute.)
જ⁀➴ so soft and clingy in the mornings omfg, dude is pouty, a little whiny and his raspy voice telling you not to leave while holding you closer👁️🫦👁️
જ⁀➴ will be so quick with it if he feels like someone is disrespecting you or being rude to you even a little bit and don't get me started on flirting with you, you need to control your guard dog please!!! He will bite his dick off and leave him bloody and bruised for weeks.
જ⁀➴ true story, you scolded him and made sure he wasn't getting into as many fights after or at least not to the point of last time, but he listens to you because he would hate for you to be disappointed or not happy and especially with him.
જ⁀➴ I don't think Mattheo can live with himself knowing he's the reason you're angry, upset, sad, disappointed or literally anything that is happy or a good emotion.
જ⁀➴ opens doors, gives you his clothes, let's you borrow wtvr you need from him, buys you anything you want, gives you your favorite flowers every date night, give you massages, run you nice and relaxing baths, helps with studies, always with you especially in public.
જ⁀➴ no cause actually ever since y'all started dating you haven't been seen with mattheo with you, either behind you, either side of your or like 2-4 inches behind you watching over you carefully. Like he's a great protector!!
જ⁀➴ my boy working overtime to make sure you're safe and he wouldn't have it any other way tbh.
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babyleostuff · 1 year ago
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SAYING SOMETHING THEY DIDN'T MEAN IN A FIGHT | VOCAL UNIT
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𐙚  YOON JEONGHAN 
his pettiness and stubbornness would make every fight 100x worse, and no matter how many times he’d promise himself that he’d be more understanding and try to look at the situation from your point of view, he’d end up saying something he didn’t mean just to make you more annoyed, not realising how much his words hurt you.
you couldn’t look at him, not when he treated you like you were nothing, and didn’t seem remorseful even in the slightest. “i never thought i'd hear something like that from you,” you said, your voice filled with disappointment rather than anger. you wanted to yell at him, hit him, scream out how much his words hurt you, but you weren’t sure if he’d care even if you did all of that. 
jeonghan, on the other hand, felt like throwing up the second he heard the door close after you quickly left the house. he didn’t mean to be rude to you, he didn’t even realise that the fight you were having was a serious one - otherwise he’d never say something like that. his stomach twisted with agony as he recalled your broken expression and tears filling your eyes. “what have i done?’
it would take some time for things to get back as they were, for you to forgive him completely, but that wouldn’t discourage jeonghan. he would make sure to show you how much he cared about you and how sorry he was, through any action that he could - even if it meant he had to do something out of his comfort zone or something he usually wasn’t as fond of.
𐙚  HONG JOSHUA 
to make joshua say something he didn’t mean, especially to you, is like… nearly impossible. no matter what situation you’d be in, whether it’d be a small argument or a big fight (those were rare too), he’d always watch what he was saying, because he knew how quickly things could escalate and you both could end up hurt and upset by something that could be prevented. he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if he said something mean you.
“darling, let’s just…,” joshua sighed, running his hand through his hair, pulling at them slightly. “let’s take a break ’kay?”
you hadn’t realised how angry you got at each other, when your little argument over your chores escalated to a proper fight that was so unnecessary, but because both of you were too tired to think clearly, neither of you did anything to stop it. 
until now. 
“yeah, i think that’s a good idea,” you nodded at your boyfriend, smiling at him weakly. fighting always took a toll on you, you hated being angry at each other, but at least joshua stopped the whole situation before any of you said something you didn’t mean. he cupped your face and pecked your forehead, before leaving you alone in your bedroom. 
some time later you emerged from the bedroom, your hair in a mess from your nap, just to be met with joshua standing behind the counter surrounded by what looked like all of your favourite dishes. “let’s eat, and then we’ll talk,” he smiled at you, reaching over the counter to intertwine his fingers with yours, before placing a peck on your palm.
𐙚  LEE JIHOON 
he is way too mature and composed to say something he doesn’t mind, but that being said, not every argument could be resolved easily and calmly. a lot of the times fights between you happened when you found him in his studio for the fifth night in a row, with your boyfriend looking like he hadn’t slept for a month. arguments about his well-being were always heated, and sometimes woozi didn’t think what he was saying and how it would affect you.
“i just care about you, is that so hard to understand?” 
you stood in the middle of jihoon’s studio, surrounded by endless pizza and take-out boxes, and empty cans of his favourite drinks laying everywhere. comeback seasons were always the worst and you knew he had to work, but that didn’t mean he had to pull an all-nighter for the fourth time that week.  
“and you being mean to me won’t make me any less worried, it just makes you look like an even bigger dick that doesn’t appreciate his partner being worried sick.”
you didn't say anything else, just put the food you brought him on his desk and left the studio, slamming the door behind you.
jihoon couldn't remember the last time he got more than an hour of sleep, and he knew that his messed up sleep schedule was a shitty excuse for how he treated you, but if he wasn’t so exhausted he’d never even think of the things he just said to you. his hands itched to grab your waist, and make you stay and beg for your forgiveness, but he was too ashamed to even look at you.  
that night, though, instead of returning to his apartment, he went straight to your place. he knew you were awake but he didn't want to dwell on your fight right now, so he just laid down next to you. jihoon thought he was going to cry with joy when he felt you move closer to him.
𐙚  LEE SEOKMIN
you’d quarrel and have like those everyday silly fights, arguing over who’s going to drink from the blue mug that morning, but that was the furthest a fight would go between you two, and if he ever said anything remotely mean or upsetting, he’d be begging on his knees for forgiveness in an instant, that’s not even up for discussion - that man cherishes you and your well being way too much to spend his time on fighting.
you looked at each other with horror upon hearing the words that just left your boyfriend's mouth. the day hasn’t really started yet, it was way too early for you to be up, but you wanted to make some food for seokmin before he went to work. one thing led to another, and now you ended up in a fight. 
“i did not just say that,” he whispered, his eyes wide.
“you did, seokmin,” you said, crossing your arms over your chest. you weren’t sure how you were even supposed to feel now - never have you heard such mean words leave his mouth, ever, and the fact that the first time it happened, they were targeted at you?  
“baby, baby focus and listen to me,” seokmin said, his voice panicked, as he held your face in his hands. “i have no idea what had just happened, but i did not mean what i just said, i don’t know why i even thought of it.” 
“seokmin, you have to go, or you’ll be late for practi-,” 
“no, i’m not going anywhere before you forgive me,” he looked at you with big eyes, as he tried to figure out how you were feeling. 
you had no other way but to forgive him, or he’d be late and seugcheol would kill him if he found out why he was late. seokmin made sure to show you just how sorry he was by not letting you go for the next week, repeating how much he loved you until you had to tell him to shut up. 
𐙚  BOO SEUNGKWAN
another petty one that would be bad at controlling his anger during an argument. fighting with him would be a bit pointless, because he’d insist that he’s the only one that’s right, which could lead him to saying something he actually didn’t mean. even though seungkwan would feel so bad after, he wouldn’t stop you from leaving, he’d feel too ashamed to say anything in the moment, because how could he be so mean to someone who he loves so dearly?
“i…,” seungkwan stuttered, looking down, too ashamed to look at your face. 
“for someone who always has a lot to say you’re oddly quiet now,” you said, and even though he couldn’t see your face, the tone of your voice told him how angry and disappointed in him you were. 
seungkwan wanted to kick himself for being so goddamn stubborn - instead of taking a break like you proposed, he continued to argue with you, making the situation so much worse and ending up saying some horrible things. 
he opened and closed his mouth, but what was he even supposed to say? he didn’t want to make any excuses for himself, and there were no words that would express how sorry he was. “great job, seungkwan,” you said, before he heard the door slam shut, and he was left alone in your apartment. 
he didn’t even realise when he had started crying, tears slowly rolling down his cheeks, but he didn’t want to feel sorry for himself, not when he just acted like a dick to the person he loves the most - the one and only he should always protect and make happy. 
seungkwan ended up falling asleep on the couch, he couldn’t sleep in your bed without you there, he knew he’d just start crying again. it’d take some time for you to forgive him completely, but you wouldn’t be too harsh on him seeing how emotionally exhausted he was, besides, you knew he didn’t truly mean what he said.
taglist (if you want to be added, check my masterlist): @weird-bookworm @sea-moon-star @hanniehaee @wonwooz1 @byprettymar @edgaralienpoe @staranghae @eightlightstar @itza-meee @immabecreepin @hyneyedfiz @honestlydopetree @dkswife @marisblogg @whatsgyud @aaniag @jeonghansshitester @daegutowns @carlesscat-thinklogic23 @embrace-themagic @soul-is-a-strange-kid @ohmyhuenings @nidda13 @hrts4hanniehae @k-drama-adict @f4iryjjosh @isabellah29 @hafsah-ali @mrswonwooo @lllucere @athanasiasakura @onlyyjeonghan @chillseo @bangantokchy
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808airsoftbros · 4 months ago
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Forgotten or Not (Nana/Bae Suzy)
Author: This is a commission hiring from my good friend @elryuse but I added my own edits and twists to it so I hope you all enjoy it. Also if you want to read more of my fics check out my Masterlist
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Y/N's POV
The grand dinner event was a whirlwind of glitz and glamour. The air was thick with anticipation as fans worldwide gathered to celebrate K-pop's meteoric rise. As a relatively new member of the scene, I felt a mix of excitement and nerves.
Suzy and Nana, my two girlfriends, were by my side. Their presence was a comforting balm amidst the chaos. We had been together for several years, our love a quiet, steady force in our lives.
As the evening progressed, I couldn't shake the feeling of a growing divide between the older and newer generations of idols. The younger stars, like Blackpink, exuded a confidence bordering on arrogance. Jennie and Lisa, in particular, were known for their outspoken nature.
I overheard them making derogatory remarks about the older generation, dismissing them as "grandmas" and claiming they were relics of the past. My blood boiled.
“If it weren’t for us we wouldn’t be in this position in the leaderboards!” Taeyeon argued but Jennie simply sniffed.
“Hm. Maybe so but your time is over and there is nothing left for you to give now it’s time make way for new gen idols like us!” Jennie replied and Lisa snickered.
“Enjoy your time Grandma, while it lasts~” Lisa remarked and laughed as they walked away.
I could tell Taeyeon-Noona wanted to say more but she didn’t because we all knew they were right…
I had always admired the pioneers of K-pop. It’s true they had paved the way for artists like me and the fact that our time is nearing but to see them treated with such disrespect was infuriating. Suzy and Nana tried to calm me down.
"Don't do it," Suzy whispered, her voice firm.
"It's not worth it." Nana agreed. "They're just young and naive. They'll learn eventually."
I knew they were right, but my anger refused to subside. As I watched the younger idols perform on stage, I couldn't help but feel a sense of resentment. I had worked hard to get to where I was, and I didn't appreciate being dismissed so easily.
“I know but they didn’t have to be so rude about it!” I pointed out and Nana sighed.
“To tell you the truth… I was just like them when I was there age, when Afterschool debuted we were one of the best there was and for the previous generation of my time, we showed no sympathy in their situation, we thought we were invincible and we’d last forever… But I was wrong, as we got older, dancing and singing along with the ruthless practices got more difficult and eventually our company retired us and were quietly replaced by younger rookie idols and eventually we were forgotten,” Nana explained her story.
“And this cycle will always continue as long as K-pop stands, our companies are always working on training better and stronger idols than will ever be, and eventually as they get older they will soon feel the same as we did, we are lucky enough to still be in the industry as actresses, and in some cases… It doesn’t matter how old or how young idols are, they too will be replaced before they know it,” Suzy finished giving a dead serious look in my eyes.
That night, as I lay in bed, I couldn't stop thinking about Suzy and Nana's words. They reminded me of the transient nature of fame. One day, I too would be considered outdated and replaced by a new generation of idols.
It was a harsh reality, but it was one that I would have to face. I realized that I had been so focused on proving myself that I had lost sight of what was truly important. I had been so eager to be recognized as a rising star that I had forgotten to appreciate the journey.
The next morning, as I prepared for another event, I felt a newfound sense of perspective. I had faced a challenge, and I had come out stronger on the other side.
I realized that the future of K-pop was bright, and I was excited to be a part of it. As I stepped onto the stage that day, I felt a sense of peace.
I knew that I had a responsibility to the younger generation of idols. I would be their mentor, their guide. And I would do everything in my power to ensure that they were treated with respect.
But most importantly, I would cherish the love and support of my two incredible girlfriends, Suzy and Nana. Their love was a constant in my life, a beacon of light in the ever-changing world of K-pop.
The incident at the dinner event had brought Suzy and Nana even closer to me. The shared experience had deepened our bond, revealing a new level of understanding and empathy between us. Nana, always the practical one, had taken the lead in comforting me in the aftermath of the event.
Her gentle words and warm embrace had provided me with the solace I needed. Suzy, on the other hand, had offered a different kind of support.
Her quiet strength and unwavering belief in me had given me the courage to face the challenges ahead. As time went on, I found myself appreciating the unique qualities of each woman in my life.
Nana's grounded nature and unwavering support provided a sense of stability. Suzy's quiet strength and unwavering belief in me gave me the courage to face any challenge.
Their love for me was a constant in my life, a beacon of light in the ever-changing world of K-pop. Together, we navigated the ups and downs of our careers with grace and resilience.
We celebrated each other's successes and offered support during difficult times. Our bond grew stronger with each passing day, a testament to the power of love and friendship.
~
Five years later…
As five years passed since the dinner event, though may seem little time has passed but it felt a decade, the industry changed drastically than I could ever imagine. Blackpink who were one the worlds most famous K-pop group eventually fell under.
With new groups such as Le Sserafim, IVE, NewJeans, and others debuting, they got off huge while Blackpink went off the leaderboards with their absence of comebacks and attending other events and the same can be said for the previous generation groups.
As for myself, I decided to propose to my two beautiful girlfriends and when they said “yes” I was ecstatic and we got married a month later, and already discussing our retirement from the industry as we believed we’ve earned it after working for years.
One evening, as we sat together on the balcony of our shared apartment, I turned to Suzy and Nana.
"I'm so grateful for you both," I said. "You've made my life so much richer."
Suzy and Nana smiled at me. "We're grateful for you too," Suzy replied.
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Note
If you already made a request like this or if this request makes you uncomfortable in some way you can just ignore it, I don't mind
Could I request a headcanon with the Octavinelle trio, Idia and Malleus with a s/o who's always wearing clothes that cover as much of their body as possible? Like hodies, pants, long skirts, etc
But one day s/o finally takes the courage to tell and show the reason for that. The reason is that s/o has various scars across their body and they're pretty insecure of them (you don't need to specify where they came from)
Love your work and hope you have a great day 💜
Azul Ashengrotto:
Azul understood perfectly well how it felt to be insecure about your body. While your issues didn’t perfectly align, he couldn’t pretend he didn’t understand at least part of your pain, though he tried to keep that secret close to his chest while he comforted you. He assured you that your sense of style had class and that’s why the other students didn’t get it, imploring you to ignore the rumors as only you had the right to pick what suited you best. He doesn’t know if there’s a way to help you gain confidence but he would try to support you to the best of his ability.  
Floyd Leech:
Floyd did notice your fashion choices but it had never bothered him, he just figured land-dwellers had their own thing going on and thought nothing else of it. Scars, however, were cool as hell in his eyes and he told you to show them off more often, even if it was just to him. He’s interested in the story behind them but even he shows tact at times, or perhaps he was simply distracted, but either way he didn’t push the subject much further. He’s already threatening enough that most people aren’t stupid enough to speak poorly of you when he’s around, so you could at least have that peace of mind.
Idia Shroud:
Idia had never questioned your fashion sense even when others might’ve, as he was used to rumors or gossip spreading about him. He never suspected he’d unlock another portion of your potentially tragic backstory, avoiding direct eye contact with your scars to avoid being rude. He thinks it’ s true that everyone has scars, some more visible than others, and hiding them away is another form of defense. He quietly appreciated the level up in trust, becoming more vocal if he heard people speaking negatively about your clothing choices.
Jade Leech:
Jade had sneaked peaks of scarred skin once or twice but had never questioned it, happy to smile on and pretend he saw nothing until the right moment strikes for him to ask. He’s highly aware of the rumors being spread, listening to each carefully and locating their sources for further investigation. He can see how easily you’re bothered by the words of others and when you finally tell him about your scars, he began to understand Floyd’s ‘protective instincts’ a little more. Thankfully he had already done the work of finding out who was causing your stress and he'd have them handled in no time at all.
Malleus Draconia:
Malleus listened intently to your story, hiding the anger gathering deep in his chest as he remembered all the rumors that drove you to confess this now. He had no doubt he could shut them down but the pain they had inflicted on you was already clear, meaning he was just a tad too late to completely protect you. He won’t make that same mistake again, stroking your hair and soothing you as he thought of the best ways to strike at your foes quickly, in a way that would assure their silence without drawing too much attention back to him.
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r0-boat · 1 month ago
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Protective!Satan
Whb Satan headcannons about him being a little overprotective towards the MC
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He did say he wanted you to enjoy your time in hell. He just didn't think you would adapt so easily...
He thought he knew humans didn't really like the concept of devils but you seemed different. Now he regrets telling you that devils can't lie. He can't stand watching you be so overly friendly and naive enjoying the company of every devil you come across.
Yes just because devils can't lie that doesn't mean they are necessarily good. Devil's can still bend the truth, devil's can still manipulate. Sitri could only huff at his anger reminding his king that he was the one who dug his hole. Satan takes it upon himself to be your protector. He swears if one little hair on your head is missing he will rage. He's itching to use this new baseball bat he bought. You glare at him at the fact that he's chasing away anyone and everyone around you and he just smiles and says "Good. The less devils, the better."
Satan will be hanging around with a weapon in his hand glaring at whoever you're talking to every time you look back at him he'll just smile warmly at you only at you.
He hates the fact that devils crowd around you. In Gehenna He's practically attached to you at the hip growling for devils to give you space. He's only asking 'nicely' this once; anyone who doesn't listen they will get a punch to the face.
Like hell he would let the other kings be in the same room with you alone! He knows exactly how devil's act. He knows that the moment A devil has the chance to take temptation, they will take it.
You can hang out with whatever you want. But the moment they fuck up or he catches wind of any devil that wrongs you in some way him and his entire regimen of wrathful bloodthirsty devils will jump them on the street.
Of course he isn't as openly violent when he's escorting you in the human world, at first. (It's tough to conceal wrath) He wants to let you know that he's only sparing the guy that was rude to you because you told him to.
MC: "if you don't have something nice to say don't say it at all!" >:(
"Oh ok" *punches Mammon without saying anything*
Must know your location 80% of the time.
As much as he doesn't like the Kings hanging around you, he'd rather they be around you instead of you being completely alone on the streets of hell. You're so naive and easy to get along with, and devils naturally flock to you, so he's worried that an angel might deceive you or, worse, a devil with not the best intentions might lure you somewhere. Just because devils can't tell lies, that doesn't make them exceptionally safe. You wander around too much and the only reason why he hasn't put a tracker on your phone is because He's not Leviathan.
*angry housewife noises* "WHERE THE F WERE YOU?!"
-You were only gone for 5 minutes-
Satan and Leviathan will think it's crazy if you ever bring it up but they're actually a pretty similar when it comes to you Levi is a little more internal where Leviathan will delete numbers or ask you a billion questions about the devil you hung out with yesterday, Satan will pull up with an army and do a good cop bad cop interrogation with Sitri(They are both bad cops, One is just more violent than the other)
Satan 🤝 Leviathan
Murder to protect MC squad
Satan: Leviathan I need your help...
Leviathan: Go away I don't ca-
Satan: MC got a text from their ex.
Levi: .... You've come to the right place. What is your plan? I'll help you. Do you prefer poison or bullets?
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livelaughlovesubs · 23 days ago
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hii! happy anniversary :3 i was wondering if you’d do the “muzzling them” prompt with fyodor? although if it’s alright nothing too too mean/harsh i just think it would be hot to muzzle him 💛
Of course!!! It took a while, but here it is~ (it’s mostly dialogue, not sure if it’s really good)
Dom!reader x sub!fyodor
Warning: pet play, hair pulling, teasing (?), brat taming (?)
Anniversary event
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“You shouldn’t have done that,” you raised your glass up to the lights, staring at the bright colours of your beverage. Everything looked good with the right lighting, and it was the same in this case.
“What happened can’t be changed, don’t condemn me so much.” His actions contradicted his words, he didn’t feel sorry in the slightest. In fact, he was wearing a smug grin on his face. The cushions sank beneath you when you moved to get into a more comfortable position, holding the glass close to you. “How unlike you to get agitated that easily,” afterwards you said, sipping at your drink.
Your eyes scanned the spacious room, a vip lounge of the sky casino, private to you and the gentleman sitting across the coffee table. There wasn’t much worth mentioning. Two couches and many different game tables, for all kinds of gambling one could do. All that alongside a wall made out of glass, with the moonlight grazing the well lit room.
A soft chuckle reached your ears, and he said, “it just means they pushed my buttons too much.” Slam. After emptying your glass, you slammed it onto the table, but neither of you got startled by the loud noise. “Pushed your buttons? Don’t jest.” You sighed deeply, clutching your head with a frustrated expression.
In the meantime, Fyodor stared at you with his usual calm demeanour, smiling ever so gently. After a while, you broke the silence by asking, “what did they even do to piss you off?” The male put a finger up, then another, acting as if he was counting all the reasons he had, which, by the way, didn’t make sense, considering he only met them for about two minutes.
“I didn’t like how they talked, acted, and touched you.” He answered, going into details by mentioning, “they were such a brute, flirting so openly with someone who was off limits.” Look at this guy, unbelievable what hypocrisy he can spout. “The only brute here is you.” He closed his eyes, and he also took a sip from his cup, enjoying the taste with a meek humming. “How rude, you aren’t trying to understand me at all.”
Suddenly you stood up and walked over to him, looming over him, pinning his head between your arms as you pushed them against the couch back. “And I wonder what word would describe you killing them, Dostoyevsky? I still needed them for my plan for fucks sake.” You snarled, shooting him a fierce look. “You won’t need them, I’ll take care of it.” And he grinned sheepishly, again, how irritating. He really looked so sure of himself every single time.
Despite his offer, your anger obviously didn’t dissipate, and his gaze turned to the box on the table. With a subtle nod, he pointed at it and inquired, “I thought you were going to reprimand me with that.” You didn’t need to turn your head to know what he meant, and you replied, “reprimand? Hah, no.” With a swift move, you grabbed the box from the table and opened the lid. Inside was a dog muzzle, alongside a collar with a leash.
“I didn’t take you for the aggressive kind, yet who would have thought you’d bite.” You only took out the muzzle before placing the box next to you. With one hand, you clutched his cheeks, making him face upwards while you mumbled, “you better not bite your owner.” Fyodor didn’t resist your touch, neither did he help you. He simply sat there, nonchalantly and relaxed, hands placed next to himself. He argued back, tilting his head slightly, “it’s in the hands of the master to train the dog right.”
You scoffed, shaking your head, he always had to have the last word. Slowly and carefully, you put the muzzle around his mouth, closing and tightening the binds, snapping, “thats why bad dogs wear this.” He looked up at you, nuzzling his cheek against your hand once you were done putting it on him, your warmer hand slowly heating up his cheek. At the same time, he locked eyes with you and whispered, “do your worst.” In response, you grabbed a fistful of his hair, yanking on it, making him throw his head back.
His expression changed to one of curiosity and satisfaction, as if he was content with your actions. He showed you the nape of his neck, exposing his skin by pulling his collar down with one hand. Your free hand reached for the choker as you spat back at him, “I’ll give you something to smile about.”
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tomssexdoll · 3 months ago
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Unspoken Jealously
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PAIRINGS: Tom 2010 x Female reader
CONTENT: ANGST + SMUT + FLUFF
SYPNOSIS: Tom and Y/N always fight in school, he's a popular asshole and she's a quiet, reserved girl. He always picked fights with her, one day in class sending her over the edge, causing him to actually shut up for once. Then at a party, seeing her with another guy sent him over the edge.
A/N: if you want to be tagged or i accidently missed your tag comment on my pinned masterlist <3
WARNINGS: dom!tom, sub!reader, p in v (missionary), eating out, teasing, arguing
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Tom was the most popular guy in school, he was an asshole, arrogant and rude to anyone he didn't like, and those people, he could not like them for the stupidest reasons. One persons glasses are too big, nose is too small, their style isn't up to his standards, anything.
I was a quiet, yet confident girl, not afraid to stand up for what's right, usually ending up in Tom and I arguing. One day, I was sitting in class, Tom and his friends came in late, laughing and pushing each other around, already being obnoxious and loud.
"Boys! You do not come into my class just to talk over me and be rude like that, go sit down and be quiet!" the teacher yelled at them, Tom just scoffed and sat down, of course, near me. He dropped his bag onto the desk with a massive thud, making me jump slightly.
"Awww, did I scare you?" he teased, sarcastically pouting while his friends erupted into laughter beside him, "oh shut up," I mumbled, rolling my eyes and paying attention to the board. His tall frame sprawled out on the chair, taking up all the space, leaving me basically no room and squishing up against his legs.
"Do you mind? When will you ever stop acting like an arrogant pig?" I turned to him, glaring at him deeply. He looked at my with a raised eyebrow, his piercing gaze appraising me. He leaned back in his chair, the smirk on his lips never faltering, "well if it isn't the little mouse who thinks she can roar," he chuckled deeply.
"Is that all you've got? You sound stupid, now shut up, sit properly and leave me alone," I grunted, turning back to my work. His smirk faded, replaced by a look of surprise. He sat up staighter, his eyes narrowing as his eyes burned into the side of my head. He muttered something under his breath but I ignored him.
"Feisty one, isn't she?" one of his friends said, "you're not going to take that, are you?" another added, egging Tom on, but he didn't give into them, just shaking his head and focusing on what the teacher was saying.
As the lesson went on Tom grew increasingly restless. He kept sneaking peeks at my work, his curiosity piqued by my near handwriting and the way I seemed to understand the material so easily, "come on, just give me the answers..." he whispered, nudging me with his elbow.
Despite my attempts to ignore him, Tom continued to pester me. He leaned in closer, his breath hot on my neck as he whispered persistently, "come on..I know you know the answers, just whisper them to me.." he tried moving me to look at my paper.
I snatched it away, hiding it from his gaze. "If you weren't such a fucking raging asshole to me, I'd give you them but because you treat me like shit, I won't. What makes you think you deserve my answers?" I turned to him, lecturing him.
Tom was taken aback by my harsh words and sudden change in tone. He looked around, noticing that several people were now watching with interest. Before he could respond, I continued.
"Now leave me alone and go do your own work, or are you too dumb to do it?" I said in a taunting tone. His face turned red with anger, he wasn't used to being spoken to like that, especially not in front of his friends. "Alright fine! Keep your precious answers to yourself!" he hissed, his voice laced with frustration but also hurt.
Later on that week, I was randomly invited to a party by one of my friends who got invited and was allowed a plus one, hosted by one of Toms feral friends. I decided to go, seeing no harm in trying to have fun for once.
I got dressed, wearing something cute and doing my hair and makeup. My friend arrived and I drove with her there. As we pulled up we saw the numerous cars parked down the street and in the driveway of the guys house. I went inside with her, weaving through the sweaty bodies of drunk people, going to the kitchen where all the drinks were scattered.
As I entered the house, Tom's attention was immediately drawn to me. He stood in the living room, surrounded by his friends, his eyes locked onto me as I made my way through the crowd. He looked me up and down, taking in my cute outfit and the effort I clearly put into my appearance.
I chose a simple vodka redbull, pouring it all into a glass and conversating with my friend as we both sipped at our drinks, glancing over at the people around us, "it's so weird that I've never been to a party before," I said, trying to see if I knew anyone.
"Is it all you expected?" my friend chuckled, I nodded and smiled, "I guess so, let's hope I don't run into Tom tonight, it won't be good for anyone here," I sighed, reaching over the counter and grabbing a bottle of vodka.
I poured some shots for me and my friend, we both clinked our glasses together and downed the shot, the clear liquid stinging my throat.
After a while of drinking, we landed on the dancefloor, dancing to the music, jumping up and down and giggling with my friend, having the time of our lives. We got increasingly more drunk and my confidence skyrocketed, I started flirting with a random guy, dancing with him and occasionally grinding on him.
Tom's gaze never left me as I moved throughout the room, his friends catching onto his fixation on me. As soon as he noticed me grinding on this random guy his jaw clenched, his chest slightly heaving with intense jealously. Who the fuck was this guy? Why was I even near him? He knew he had no right to be this jealous, he hadn't even told anyone his true feelings for you but it hurt like hell to see him, holding me like he should've been.
Tom's expression turned cold, letting out a heavy sigh, "give me a minute.." he murmured. He made his way towards me, his tall figure cutting through the crowd with ease. As he approached me, I looked up, my eyes meeting his. I was confused to see him there, I stopped dancing but before I could say anything he grabbed my arm, pulling me away from the guy and towards the bathroom. "We need to talk," he said firmly, going inside and closing the door behind him.
"What the fuck are you doing? You just ruined my fucking chances of getting with that guy, what is wrong with you?" I raised my voice, clearly pissed off. Toms grip on my arm tightened, his expression unyielding. He leaned in close, his voice low and commanding, "I don't like that guy, I don't like the way he looks at you."
I furrowed my eyebrows, confused but also angry, "are you...what?" I scoffed in disbelief, literally at a loss for words. "I'm telling you, I don't like him," he said through gritted teeth, "since when did you give a fuck?" I scoffed.
He stepped closer to me, his tall frame looming over me. He reached out and grabbed my chin, forcing me to look up at him, "since forever, since I saw the way he was looking at you, like he thinks he can have you, like he thinks he's good enough for you," he yelled, his voice shaky with rage.
"Tom..." I sighed, "what the fuck are you talking about? You sound crazy...this better not be some fucking prank you and your stupid friends have planned, I'm si-" he silenced me by pressing his lips to mine, his kiss hard and demanding. He pushed me back against the bathroom sink, his hands gripping my hips possessively.
When he finally pulled back, I was left breathless and speechless, "just listen damn it!" he grunted, "i've liked you for so fucking long, I know you may not believe it, I wouldn't either but I'm so tired of pretending that I don't like you! I hate having to hide my feelings from you, from everyone," he sighed, his eyes now drifting away.
"And I'm sorry for treating you like shit...I should've grown some balls and fucking told you..but I was a pussy, afraid of what everyone would think.." he sighed, cupping my face in his large hands. I was shocked, my mouth slightly agape as I fought to say something back.
"But I won't stand here and let that piece of shit take what's mine," he took advantage of my momentary silence, his hands sliding down to my thighs. He hoisted me up onto the sink, stepping between my open legs, "i'm serious, you're mine, not his. Understand?" he leaned in close, grabbing my chin.
"Mhm..." I nodded, looking into his eyes the whole time. Up until now I had never really noticed the feelings I had for Tom, like they were there all along but I just fought them off, pushing them far away into my brain, not wanting to accept the feelings. I mean it was scary, liking someone who I thought could never come close to liking me and also being my bully.
"Good girl.." he smirked, leaning in and capturing my lips in a heated kiss, I didn't know that I was starving until I tasted him, I kissed him back just as passionately, moaning against his lips. His hands tightening on my thighs, his touch firm.
He deepened the kiss, his tongue slipping past my parted lips to dance with mine. He broke the kiss only to trail his lips down along my jaw and down my neck, "you're so..so..so beautiful..." he mumbled against my skin.
His kisses trailed down my neck, to my chest, gently sucking on the skin. I felt his hands come around my back, gently dragging down the zipper of my dress, he lifted me up and let it slip to the floor, leaving me in my skimpy panties and no bra, my bare breasts.
His gaze darkened as he took in the sight of me, my bare tits on display. He trailed his fingertips along the curve of my waist, up to cup your breasts before diving his head in between my tits, gently squeezing them.
Then he trailed kisses down my stomach, lower stomach and then stopping right in front of my panties. "You gonna let me eat your pretty pussy, hm?" he taunted, looking up at me with a mischievious glint in his eyes.
His words made me let out a little gasp, I nodded slowly and hooked my fingers around the waistband of my underwear, sliding them down my legs and off my feet, throwing it aside.
He spread my legs wide, his gaze fixed on my pussy, "so fucking pretty.." he said, before leaning forward and burying his face between my legs. I let out a soft moan as I felt his tongue come in contact with my aching clit, instantly arching my back.
His hands gripped my thighs, holding them open wide as he devoured me. His tongue worked expertly, licking and sucking as he pushed me closer and closer to the edge. He could feel me getting closer, my breath hitching and my hips bucking against his face.
"Ohhh fuck!" I whined, holding onto the counter tightly, my knuckles turning white from the firm grip I had. The pleasure came in rough, crashing waves, drowning me in ecstasy. "You like that?" he murmured against my sensitive flesh before flicking his tongue over my clit again. He slid one finger inside me, then two, curling them to hit that perfect spot.
"Holy shit!" I yelped, my pussy quivering around his fingers, he continued to suck and lick my throbbing clit. As my moans got louder he doubled his efforts, his fingers pumping in and out of me as his mouth suckled on my swollen bud.
His fingers curled faster and harder inside me, his mouth sealed around my aching nub. He went so hard I was seeing stars, rolling my eyes back from the immense amount of pleasure I was receiving. I was in a state of pure euphoria, being sent into oblivion as his tongue and fingers worked their magic.
"Gonna cum!" I whimpered loudly, writhing and squirming under him. "Come for me baby..let go.." he growled. He could feel me tensing, my breath hitching, my fingers gripping his hair painfully. "Keep fucking going!" I screamed, moaning loudly, feeling my release rapidly approach.
He didn't need to be told twice, his fingers curved upwards, hitting my sweet spot repeatedly, sucking on my clit roughly, "cmon, cum for me!" he raised his voice, his tongue swirling around my sensitive nub in a rapid motion as he fucked me with his fingers.
With one last flick of my clit my orgasm crashed down, he felt my inner walls convulse around his fingers as I found my release. He continued to suck on my bud, drawing out my pleasure until I was limp and breathless. He finally lifted his head, a smug smile on his face as he cleaned my essence off with his tongue, "such a good girl.."
My chest heaved, barely able to calm down from the earth shattering orgasm I just had. Tom stepped back, unbuckling his belt and lowering his pants. His hard length sprang out, standing tall and proud. He stepped forward, the head of his erection pressing against my entrance, "wrap your legs around my waist baby.." he grumbled, grabbing my legs and pulling me closer to the edge of the sink.
I quickly wrapped my legs around his waist, looking up at him as he lined himself up and thrusted buried himself inside in one powerful thrust, his thick length stretching me to the limit.
He gripped my hips tightly, holding me in place as he started to fuck me hard and fast against the sink, "hold on tight baby, i'm not going to be gentle.." he whispered in my ear, his breath hot against my neck. I wrapped my arms around him and held onto him tightly, nuzzling my face into his neck and moaning loudly.
"Holy fuck, Tom!" I whimpered, he pounded into me relentlessly, the sound of my moans and the slapping of flesh against porcelain filling the room. He reached around and grabbed my ass, spreading my cheeks apart and fucking me even harder, "fuck, you're so tight..." he growled, his balls slapping against my ass.
I was being sent into oblivion, my eyes rolling back and my tits bouncing wildly with each brutal thrust. "You're close aren't you?" he grunted, his voice strained from holding back his release, his hand sneaking between me to rub my swollen nub, "such a good girl, taking this cock so fucking well.." he smirked, I nodded and whined, "mmmh! fuck!" receiving pleasure 2 ways at the same time was driving me crazy, my moans getting louder by the second.
My throat was raw from my desperate wails, he kept fucking me viciously, his tip brutally hitting my cervix. He grunted with each thrust, his face contorted with pleasure and concentration. His movements became more feverish, his hips jackhammering against mine as he neared the edge. "Gonna gum...im close..." he rasped, his voice thick with need.
"Fucking touch yourself..now.." he groaned, replacing his hand with mine, making me rub my clit furiously. His gaze met mine, his eyes dark with desire. He watched as I touched myself, his breath coming in ragged pants, his thrusts borderline erratic, driven by the sight of me pleasuring myself, "fuck..yes..so fucking hot..." he mumbled.
He shifted his angle, hitting that spot that made my eyes roll back, knowing this would send me over the edge. With a few more hard, deep thrusts I came undone, the sensation of me pulsing around his thickness send him over the edge. He let out a guttural roar, "ohhh FUCK!" his hips jerking forward as he spilled his seed inside me.
Both our chests heaved in unison, breathless after our intense love making session. After calming down for a while, he leaned forward, his lips finding mine in a tender kiss, his tongue exploring my mouth. "Please don't let this be a one night stand, something we regret.." he murmured against my lips.
His hands slid down to my waist, holding me close to him and looking deeply into my eyes, "I meant what I said before, it wasn't a coax to make you fuck me..i meant ever single word i said," he sighed, "I want you to be my girlfriend, I want to hold, kiss and love you in front of everyone, not be ashamed anymore.." I searched his eyes for any sign of deceit but all that looked back at me was sincerity.
My heart ached for him, I gently nodded, "I agree..I just want to be loved by you, not hated..i'm sick of the petty fights, as much as they are funny, I also want to experience being loved by you.." I smiled, gently cupping his face and pressing my lips into his for another gentle kiss.
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tags: @ballhair @bills-wife-1 @ella1289
tags: @bkaulitzlover @pa1n-0f-l0ve @tomkslut
tags: @miyukafujii @tomscumdoll @billsdolliest
tag: @tomsfuckdoll
227 notes · View notes
worldofkuro · 8 months ago
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Painted Smile
Painted Smile VI
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Pairing: Alastor x Female! Reader
Summary: You couldn't wait to meet new friends. What you didn't expect was this smiling little boy, only one year older than you, that would take such a big place in your life.
Notes: It's a long chapter because it's Alastor's Point of View from the beginning until the end of Chapter IV. There is dark theme here, like racism, blood, dark thoughts. But I guess you know about it, it is about Alastor's story ! Please enjoy and tell me your thoughts, if you like having a long chapter about Alastor's thoughts.
“ Do you promise to be a good boy bébé?”
Alastor smiled at his mother and nodded. He would always be good for his mother, even if he didn’t like what he was supposed to do. Today, his mother had invited an old friend of hers, someone she used to know before she married his father, and this woman would bring her child with her, hoping that they could play together. His mother was so excited.
He didn’t care about them, but if his mother was happy, he'd put on a show.
He went into his bedroom to be sure everything was clean, but mostly to be sure that his secrets were kept safe. He took his journal, where all of his thoughts were written down. He hid it under a pile of clothes, if his father were to fall upon it,  it would be a disaster and frankly, he didn’t want to get into another beating.
He lifted his head up as he heard noises downstairs. So the parasites have finally come. He looked at himself in the mirror and smiled brightly. Easy. He tried different types of smiles before going downstairs quietly. He has learned not to make noises when he was walking, sometimes he could walk behind his fathers without him noticing. 
And there you were. He tilted his head as he saw you took a photo and stared at it. You didn’t even sense him, you weren’t paying attention to what was going on around you. Your life must be so easy.
“  Do you not know that it is rather rude to touch others' belongings?”
He stopped himself from chuckling as you jumped, surprised. Heh, too easy.
“And it is rude to come unannounced behind a lady!” 
A lady? His mother was a lady. Always proper, always smiling… You? You were… a naive, uninteresting girl so far. He did say to his mother that he would play nice… But he couldn’t help himself.
“ I see no lady.”
He wanted to laugh at your expression. How strange. You were giving him your reaction without faking it. In this house, everyone was faking it to make it out alive, even his Mother, faking a smile so his father could be “happy”. And when the emotion wasn't faked, it usually meant that problems were on their way. But you, you just expressed your expression out loud, without fearing it could put you in trouble. How strange. 
He turned his head toward his mother who introduced you both. He was ready to go shake your hand but you came toward him and kissed him on both cheeks. The only person who kissed him like this was his mother. Who did you think you were ? His cheeks flushed with anger but he contained himself,  not here, not in front of his mother… You wanted to play that game? Alright.
He waited for both of your mothers to go back in the kitchen before stepping closer to you, his face near yours. Hah, how you liked it when someone came too close toward you. He stared at your eyes, your eyes that seemed to say so many things, things he couldn’t comprehend, that he couldn’t grasp because he… he wasn't like you.
“ It’s rude to look at someone face this close!”
He almost coughed, you were the one who kissed him first but now HE was the one being rude? He easily made a lie saying he needed to be close to see. He saw your eyes relax and you almost seemed sorry. Were you watching him with pity? Oh no, he wouldn’t accept it. He’d prefer seeing you angry at him than watching him as if he was some kind of helpless kid who couldn’t fight for himself. 
“ But now that I have seen you up close I can clearly say… I see no lady.”
He smiled when he saw your angry face.
----
Your parents were really curious about him. He didn’t really want to talk with them but he put on his mask and talked about school and other boring stuff. He almost lost his calm when he felt you kicked him in the shin. He stared at you as you were beaming with pride and joy because you were now the centre of attention. How naively cute.
His mother always told him to never hit a girl but… If it was an accident ? And you were the one to begin this war. He kicked you on the same spot you had kicked him. His smile widened when he saw you spilled your drink on the table. You were panicking so much and you had every reason to be.. if his father were to be here. He stared at you, drinking.  You were a living experiment with your emotions shown so easily. You were still naive… But a tiny bit interesting. 
He stood up from his chair when his mother invited you both to play outside. He walked in front of you but he was looking at your shadows which made it so easy to dodge your so-called kick. He looked at you with a beaming smile when he spotted your face. You seemed so surprised.. and a bit impressed.
“ So unladylike.”
He watched you as you stuck your tongue to him, he was sure you were thinking he couldn’t see you. How funny. He let you go toward the swing and watched you as you went higher and higher with each swing. He walked toward you as you closed your eyes and arched your back toward the ground. You seemed so light, like you could just fly at any moment. Now he was curious.
“Jump.”
You didn’t seem keen on jumping, saying things like you could hurt yourself or dirtying your dress. He kept his smile but felt kind of disappointed. Oh well, maybe you weren’t interested. 
Or maybe you were!
He stared at you as you jumped when the swing was in its highest spot. He opened his mouth as he saw you, almost floating in the air, you seemed so free, so alive, so colourful, so… out of reach. He wanted to drag you down in hell with him. In his personal hell. In his life. Why were you so happy and he was–
“ Wow! Did you see that Alastor ! I did it ! Haha ! That was super amazing !”  you laughed. He looked at you, you were looking at him like you wanted him to be proud of you. You were beaming, you were… cute. You just jumped off a swing because he dared you to do it and you did it. No question asked. Most of the people would have said they didn’t want to play with him and left. But you stayed. Strange…
He tried to suppress his laugh when you dared him to climb the tree. So easy. Once he climbed it he watched you. Now you were the one on the floor while he was near the sky. He looked at you as you watched him, impressed. It made him feel something so he decided to tease you once again.
“ I should thank you, now that I’m here, I don’t have to see your face.”
“ My face is pretty !”
Yes, it was.
“ Pretty ugly.”
“ Alastor !”
You played all afternoon, you always had another game to play, another riddle to solve. Your mind was always thinking about something new… But then you put your hand on his eyes and said that you had a great time with him. What kind of manipulative game was that? Saying a secret, trusting the other person to hold their tongue and never breathe a word of what you just said? How could you be so naive ? Life wasn’t fair. Sharing secrets would make you weak. Never reveal your scars, your secrets or your emotions. 
He asked for another game, not wanting to see your face. Did you know that he could see everything in your eyes? Was that why you said your secret with a hand in front of his eyes, so he couldn’t see if you were in pain or happy? 
He looked at you as you proposed  a game of hide and seek. How cute. He would find you. He was a master of “hunting”. He closed his eyes and counted until fifty. He could already hear where you were going as you ran toward the forest. He smiled as he made you think he didn’t know where you were, he waited some time so you could be so sure of yourself you wouldn’t see him come.
And there you were.
“ Found you.”
You ran.
But what shocked him even further was that he couldn’t catch you. It was like you were flying through the grass, you weren’t watching where you were putting your feet while he was watching the floor, dodging the puddle of mudd, jumping over the branches that would have made him fall. He watched as you ran, he wanted to catch you. He didn’t know why, maybe to prove something to himself. 
It seemed like it was time to say goodbye, he didn’t even see the time passing which was surprising, he always knew what time it was, knowing when his father would come back. You came toward him, you seemed sad.
“ Well.. Goodbye…”
Were you really sad ? How cute. But if it was the last time that he saw you, he would rather see you smile.. And , well , he wasn’t going to see you again right? He could tell you a secret. He covered your eyes.
“ I had fun and… you are pretty.” 
He went to his mother as he watched you and your family leaving his house. When he went back home, his mother was watching him with an expectant smile. He tilted his hand, smiling at her, she seemed to have had a great afternoon, he was relieved.
“ Did you have a great time Alastor?”
He froze for a second. Did he? He stared at his hand, the hand that didn’t manage to catch you. Well, you were like a fresh breeze. Needed but short. He would have to live once again without feeling it.
“ Yes, I had a great time.”
—----
Alastor was doing his homework in the kitchen while his mother was cooking. Most of the time, his Father was away all week because he worked far from home, so his boss would give him a place to stay to avoid doing long travel. Which meant, when it was the weekend, his Father would do nothing but lay around in the house and if he had a bad week, well.. Let’s just say that his body remembered those days.
There, done! 
He stood up from his chair, now that his homeworks was done, he could go and listen to his radio. He went to his bedroom and sat on his desk, listening to the radio until he heard noises downstairs. He didn’t remember his Mother telling him that they would have guests over… And then he heard them. Your footsteps. What was that feeling? His heart was beating louder as your footsteps were getting closer and closer.
He smirked when he heard his door open, did you really think you were being quiet ? He stayed silent waiting to feel you closer to him, and once he saw your shadow, he opened his mouth.
“ How rude, entering a boy’s bedroom without permission.”
“ I see no boy.”
He smiled as he approached his face towards yours making you blush. He didn’t know why, but he was… content seeing you in front of him with all of your emotions written across your face. 
But he didn’t like this thought.
The fact that just your presence could make him feel things. You didn’t have the rights. That would mean that you had the upper hand on him, playing with him. No, you couldn’t know.
“ Why are you here?”
And there it was. You looked like a kicked puppy. He didn’t like it. He clearly didn’t like it. You were cute like this but he’d rather see you smiling even if he didn’t like what it made him feel. He suppressed his need to sigh at your face. You stuck your tongue at him, trying to hide the fact that he hurted you. You really were the cutest. Didn’t you see that he already saw your heartbroken expression? Seems like he needed to make things right. He touched your shoulder but you didn’t move. You were such an obstinate brat. He really was trying to be nice ! He sighed. Well… 
He covered your eyes, smiling when he saw you flinching and spoke.
“ I didn’t expect…to be content to see you today.”
Your smile was really blinding. He wondered if you were aware of it? How could you smile so easily without fearing that you showed too much emotion? How could you trust him not to use the information you just told him with your smile: You liked being with him. 
He was almost worried for your future. He looked at your hands as you raised it toward his face, clearly trying to cover his eyes. You really liked to touch him, didn’t you? He helped you as he took your hand and placed it in front of his eyes. Now what?
“ I wanted to see you too.” you confessed.
So that’s what it was.
He wanted to see you too.
How could you speak so freely? He took your hands off him and stared at you, maybe if he stared long enough in your eyes, he could get an answer. The only answer he got? He didn’t flinch when you kissed his cheeks not because he was scared but because didn’t feel the need to push you away. How strange…
He smirked as you told him about making him food. So you asked about him. You didn’t forget about him. Interesting..
He tilted his head as you ordered him to dance. He could dance, his Mother had teached him, he couldn’t wait but show you. He gave you a big smile and held his hand toward you but you went off script. You took his hand and just started to jump around, holding his hand. You encouraged him to do just like you but he was so confused. Was that dancing ? Maybe it was your way of dancing… Well, it was chaotically cute.. But let him show you how it’s done.
He took your hands and twirled you just like his Mother taught him. You seemed impressed once again, he really liked that. He didn’t know why but he wanted you to keep on watching him like this. You let go of his hand and walked toward his bed before throwing his pillow in his face. He didn’t expect it. He stared at your laughing face. You thought you were funny huh?
He took the pillow and ran toward you, pinning you on the floor and hitting you softly with his pillow. “ Rule number one, never drop your guard.” He hitted you with his pillow. “ Rule number two, I’m the strongest here.” he hitted you once again. “ Rule number three, give up.” He smiled as he watched you trying to sit up. You were really trying to get away ? He held the pillow above his head and then he saw it.
Your gaze fell on a bruise from his father. Ah, were you going to ask questions? What excuses should he invent this time? He tried to help his mother but failed? No, it was impossible. As he was swimming through his thoughts you took his hand, placed it on your eyes and  began to talk. You talked and talked and talked, you really couldn’t stop huh?
But he listened.
To every word.
He stood up and helped you when he heard his mother calling you downstairs. He followed you to the sofa and sat down, listening to your mothers talking. Seemed like you weren’t as patient as him, he could already see boredom settling on your face. But then you ran off the living room saying stuff about a kitty. He smiled at the ladies and went outstairs, staring at you and the cat. This bloody cat who was always hissing at him…
Maybe if he stopped affraying it, the cat would calm down? Huh…
He came closer and as expected the cat began to hiss but then it hurted you. He stared at your bleeding hand and took it in his. You were trying so hard not to cry. Why? You’ve been showing him every single of your emotions since you have met, why would you hide something that he wanted to see? Why did you not want to share yourself with him? He didn’t remember the last time he or his Mother cried. What would you look like? Without even being aware he dug his nails in your cut making you scream. He stared at you, you didn’t seem angry at him, but confused.  
“ Don’t be ashamed, you can cry. I… I think I want you to cry.” Now he was the one being confused.  Why would he want to see you cry? Because that means you trusted him enough to show yourself at your weakest. You began to cry, louder than necessary for such a little cut. But he let you. You were crying in front of him without feeling ashamed. You trusted him not to hurt you even more. You were an open book for him, a book he wanted to keep on reading.
But he’d rather see you smile.
He opened his mouth, ready to make a joke but he froze once he heard his voice.
“Alastor.”
He kept you against him. He remembered his Father hitting him because he was crying, he needed to hide your tears from his Father. He didn’t deserve to see you in that state. He didn’t trust his Father and neither should you.
“ Why is this chick crying ? For God’s sake, what have you done boy?”
“ The cat scratched her.”
“ This stupid cat… I’ll shoot it next time.”
He stared as the man went inside the house. It was going to be a hard night… He didn’t want to explain everything to you about his Father, you didn’t need to know. All you needed to know was how to be safe from this man. He covered your eyes with his hand.
“ Never cry in front of this man.”
He didn’t let go of you until you nodded. Then he took you to his Mother so she could clean your cut. Better safe than sorry.
Before leaving you told him about the pizza that you made with your Mother. He sneaked with you to the kitchen, he knew that his Father would eat all of the food you made so he wanted to share it with you before it could be stolen from him.  You were so eager for his feedback, he almost wanted to say it tasted bad but after what he did to your hand he decided to be honest and made the promise to cook you something next time. You beamed and kissed him on both cheeks before leaving with your Mother.
—--
He was so excited.
His Mother had told him that you would have a sleep over while his Father wasn’t home. It was perfect! He also had another game he wanted to play with you. His Mother had bought him a microphone thanks to his good grades at school. He wanted to do a radio broadcast with you. He wanted to share his dream with you just like you shared your emotions with him. He was in his bedroom, re-reading his note to be sure that everything was perfect. He asked his mother to do his hair like adults, so now his hair was slicked back. He looked at himself in the mirror. That would do. 
“ Can I come in yet?” you asked, outside Alastor’s bedroom, waiting for him to open the door.
His grin got even bigger. He opened his bedroom door and stared at your outfit. You were cute, as always. You kissed him on both cheeks, like usual and he tugged you inside his now radio booth! 
“ Welcome to my humble Radiobooth !” He said with glee as he shoved you on a chair. “ Welcome New Orleans to Alastor’s podcast ! Thank you for tuning in, today I’m thrilled to announce that I will not be alone, I am blessed with the best singer in all Lousianna !” he claimed and shoved the microphone to your face. You gave him a big smile and began to introduce yourself even saying he was the best radio host of all New Orleans. He couldn’t help giggling, you were playing your part perfectly. Maybe when he would have had his own radio station he would invite you as a very special guest. 
He kept talking as you read the notes he had just given you, he kind of expected you to fumble but once again you surprised him. You were natural, talking about what was written on his notes but then you went off script and made him laugh. You were amazing.
He kept doing his part as the radio host, explaining about why your sleepover has to be delayed to this day. You didn’t ask much more information but was happy he punched the boy who badmouthed his mother. Calling her such a disgusting word…
You both kept playing, sometimes he would forget about your presence, but when he noticed that his voice was the only thing he could hear he would turn toward you, ordering you to talk. You had a pretty voice, why not use it?
Well, he didn’t expect you to raise your voice against him when he said he couldn’t understand people liking sweet things. You were so convinced that there was something wrong with him for not liking sweets. Well, shouldn’t you feel appreciated ? You were the sweetest thing he ever laid his eyes upon and he kept you by his side, didn’t he? He closed his eyes still smiling as you kept blablating with his Mother’s laugh echoing in his bedroom. He liked it. He really liked this moment, if he could, he would like to record this moment so he could play it again and again.
After his Mother’s departure he went toward the letter he wrote with questions for you. You thought the game was over? Think again.
He asked you many questions, well of course the questions weren’t from him, but from the audience ! You answered to all of them honestly and there came the last one. He took the letter and read it to you.
“ And now, our last question before our guest’s performance. What do you think about our dear radio host Alastor ?”
He could see your answer in your eyes before you even opened your mouth. He already knew what you were about to say. He already knew. But he was waiting eagerly so you could say those words he desperately needed to hear. Say it, say it, say it…
“ He is the best!”
Yes, and so were you.
And you needed to know it.
He tugged you downstairs saying you needed to sing or the broadcast couldn’t end. He sat in front of the piano as you were flustered with his microphone in your hands.  He smiled at you and then closed his eyes. He wanted you to feel powerful. But first, he needed you to be less insecure about your abilities. So the first lesson would be: singing.
And sing you did. When you stopped being a coward and really sang like the singer that you were, he couldn't help but open his eyes to admire you. Even if some of the notes weren’t the best, you were giving it your all. You were giving him all of you at that moment. 
He couldn’t be more proud.
You were the best.
He couldn’t stop himself from crushing you against him as he said goodbye to your audience. Everything was perfect, you were here, his mother too and there were smiles on every lips. 
—--
“ We are still playing with Alastor! When we are finished, I will join you.” you said with a shy smile, holding a plushie. He was behind you, waiting for his Mother's command. Truthfully, he didn’t want you to go to sleep with his Mother right away. He still had other games he would like to play with you. As soon as his Mother accepted, you ran into his bedroom with him following you. You were on his bed with this…
“ What is it ?”
“ Well, first of all, it’s a He and he is a deer.”
He listened to your story. So you didn’t know how to swim, he would have to train you. You shouldn’t have so many weaknesses, it was dangerous. But then you started talking about how your deer plushie was protecting you. What were you saying, were you so tired that thinking was too difficult for you?
“ So, a deer saved your life from drowning…”
“ Yes, so my parents bought me this deer plushie so now, when I'm scared I can just squeeze him and feel safe!” you demonstrated your words by squeezing your plushie against you. “ Do you want to try it?” 
Did he want to try to squeeze a plushie? Not really. Not at all.
“ How can he protect you?”
You rolled your eyes at him before pushing your plushie in his arms. You forced him to hug it, once you were satisfied, you nodded and looked at Alastor who was clearly confused. “ Now, squeeze him !” 
Once again , you were looking at him with those eyes he couldn’t refuse anything. He suppressed a sigh and squeezed the deer against him and closed his eyes. It has your scent. He could feel himself relax. Yeah… It felt nice. If he were to hug you like this, would you also be this soft?  He was getting taller than you, have you noticed it? Maybe one day, he would be able to hug you just like this plushie? Would you feel safe in his arms? Or would you try to run away?
“ Mister Deer could be our very first guest in our radio show?”
Our.
He opened his eyes, staring right in your soul. Ah, you were panicking. Did you think he didn’t like that you use “ our” instead of “ his” ? You were so cute! 
“ I’d like that.” he whispered with a soft smile. “ Our first guest.”
You both laid on his bed, he still held the plushie against him. He really needed to find him a name, names are important. He listened to you blablating about how he was supposed to take care of the deer. It looked like a fawn for him but whatever.
“ Now that I have Mister Deer, who will protect you?” he asked, with no trace of fatigue on his face, he was used to not sleeping, because of nightmares or just because he needed to be aware of what his father’s doing in the house. You smiled tiredly at him, putting your head on his pillow.
“ Well, because you hold Mister Deer, it’s your job to protect me now.” 
It was his job to protect you..? He would do it. He would protect your smile, he would protect your dazzling eyes that seemed to never lose their sparkes.
“ … So, do I need to hug you?”
“ M-maybe but…Do you want to …?”
Does he want to?
He covered your eyes with his hand. Within the next five minutes you were asleep, he took off his hand and stared at your face.
 Did he want to hug you? 
He looked at the fawn in his arms. You were cuter than your plushie, so that made you huggable. He touched your cheeks with his finger but you didn’t move. He nudged you with his feet but you stayed asleep. You must be feeling very safe to sleep like this. He would awake at any noise in the house. 
Did he want to hug you? 
He wasn’t touching you but he could feel your body warm from here. Were you too hot? Did he need to take off the blanket ? But maybe you liked being warm? You were so problematic, did you know that? He stared at the ceiling, he knew he wasn’t going to fall asleep soon… 
Did he want to hug you?
He put the fawn between his body and yours, whispering in your ear. He hoped you would stay asleep, he didn’t want anyone to witness what he was going to say.
Did he want to hug you?
“ Yes, if you hug me back.”
—-----
He was blushing as his Mother was asking him if he slept well. She had a teasing glint in her eyes, she must have seen! When he woke up, he had you in his arms. He quietly left the bed, leaving the fawn with you. 
“ Alastor, this  was a very cute scene!” 
He didn’t care if this was cute, it was embarrassing ! He hid his face in his Mother dress. Could she just forget about it? 
“ Don’t worry, I won’t tell a soul.” she kissed the top of his head with a beaming smile. He smiled at her, his mother seemed happier since she found your mother back.  He liked it. He decided to go back to his room to see if you awakened but what was surprising was that he saw you with his microphone, talking with the fawn. How could the fawn protect you, it looked like you were the one protecting it with the way you were holding it against you. You were so strange.
“ I knew you would play with it.” you blinked at him. He looked at your bed hair and couldn’t help but smile. You looked silly like this ! “ Eamon told me you were using the microphone.” You tilted your head.
“ Who ?”
“ Our deer. He needs a name, don’t you think?” he stroked your plushie’s head while mumbling “ even if he looks more like a fawn than a deer…” 
“ He is a deer ! I’m sure you never saw one !” you huffed as you squeezed Eamon against your chest. 
“ Actually, I did when Father took me hunting.” he tilted his head as he saw your horrified face. Why did you take a step back?
“ You killed a deer ?”
“ No, I saw one. And most of them have brown fur, not like ours who have a white one.”  Why did you seem so confused?
“ But…  Why is your father taking you with him.. to hunt..?” you asked, confused.
To kill of course. 
But he couldn’t tell you that. His father wanted him to be a man, and man went hunting.  His father showed him how to kill while threatening him.
If you don’t want to end up like this, shut your trap.
When he first went hunting , he was terrified but now, he would just stare at the dead animal wondering if he will be the target next time. So far, he was alive. How lucky ! But once again, he couldn’t tell you that, could he? Would you be worried for him? 
“ It’s not for little girls, that’s for sure. You wouldn’t bear it.” He teased you.
“ Hey! I saw things too, I’m not a little girl!”
Did you? Were you like him? Did you see things that made you reconsider your morals? Did you see things that made you throw up? Did you see things that made you want to run away and never look back. Did you–
“ My father tried to eat my mother one day.”
Now, that was horrifying.
—--
You went downstairs to eat breakfast as he went to the bathroom to wash up. He stared at his body. The bruises were no longer on his body, that was nice. He went to the kitchen and sat next to you. Strange, you were looking at him like you knew something that he didn’t. Did his Mother tell you what happened ? No, she wouldn’t. So why–
“ Next time, we should have a sleepover at my house ! I could show you my room !” you smiled excitedly.
He tensed. He would love to go to your place, being able to see your house. How did you decorate your room? But he couldn’t leave his Mother alone with his Father. What if he decided to come back drunk and beat his mother while he was enjoying himself, free of worries, at your place. No, he couldn’t. He looked at you and there was the kicked puppy stare… 
“ I… I don’t like leaving my mother alone at home.”
“ But we will choose a day where your father is home!” you nudged him, trying to coat him to come with you at your house. “ Please Alastor… I really want you to come.” you pleaded as you held his forearms with your small hands. “ You don’t want to..?”
I want to.
He bit his lips, he wanted but he couldn’t. Wasn’t it the meaning of his life? Wanting without having the power to be able to do what he wanted. Fortunately, his Mother had sensed his discomfort and she offered to come with him for your next sleepover.
He relaxed. Yes, like this, it would be perfect.
The day went on as you both “gossiped” as his Mother called it. But unfortunately, it was time for you to leave. You asked Eamon to take care of him and then you asked him to take care of Eamon.  You were cute but as asked, he would take care of your Fawn.
—-------
He was in the forest with his Father, holding a rifle. It was a familiar feeling to hold the weapon in his little hand. He was used to it now. He was walking, alongside his father who was making so much noise, how could they hunt like this?
“ Here, be a useful brat, shoot it.”
He shot the partridges which fell down near him. Should he be afraid of himself ? He couldn’t feel anything as he watched the life leaving the animal’s eyes. It was almost boring, he was stronger so he won. It was that easy.
Would you be scared of him?
 He stopped himself. You were the first real friend he has ever made. If you were to see him like this, would you be afraid of him? Would you let him explain? He turned his head toward his father as the man pointed to a deer not too far. He could shoot it. It would be easy.
But then he saw your face. He knew this deer wasn’t the one who saved you but this time, for you, he would not kill it. He knew you wouldn’t forgive him.
“Alastor, shoot it..!” 
He just stared at the beautiful beast not too far from him. He stared into its eyes as the animal saw him before running off. How he envied the animal right now…
He heard his Father before feeling the punch in his face.
Ah, today it was going to be harder than usual.
“ You brat!” 
A kick in his stomach.
He wondered if you were sleeping right now? You always fell asleep so easily, he was almost envious. Maybe next time, he’ll ask you how you manage to find the sweet relief of falling asleep.
“ How useless!” 
Another kick in his stomach.
Ah, his Mother was going to be so sad once she saw him. Maybe his Father would let him wash himself up in the water? 
“ You nigga !”
Aand there it was. That disgusting word. He felt his Father grabbed a fistful of his hair and dragged him toward their home. His Father threw him inside his bedroom, Alastor’s head hitting the wall. 
Seemed like his mother was out buying groceries. Good, she wouldn’t have to see that. He stared at his Father, smiling. The man took off his belt and began to hit him on his back, forcing him to lay on his belly. Alastor stared in front of him and saw Eamon, staring back at him. He didn’t know why, but he moved. He stood up as his Father shouted at him to stay in his place. He took the plushie against him, keeping his back toward his Father but he stayed standing. 
His father hit him on his back with his belt once again but Alastor didn’t fall on the ground. He crushed the plushie against him as he closed his eyes. 
It was going to be over soon. He would see you this weekend, you would play together, you would show him your neighbourhood, you would give him something sweet to eat.
He opened his eyes and saw with sadness that Eamond was dirty with his own blood. He touched his nose, oh yes, his father did punch him in the forest. Aah, he needed to clean it before you came back.
His back felt wet and stinky. Was he sweating that much? Normally he could handle it better? He sniffed.
Ah, blood.
He didn’t remember when he passed out but when he woke up, Eamon was still in his arms.
“ ça va aller mon bébé, regarde Maman.” 
He looked at his Mother, her smile wobbling. He just closed his eyes and squeezed Eamon, the plushie didn’t have your scent anymore, but it has his blood’s. 
—---
He didn’t know why, but each week his Father would hit him with his belt on his torso or back even when his Mother was begging for him to stop. He had to go to school with bandages all over his body but his face. But he never cried, nor asked his Father to stop. He would just think that soon, you would come and the Hell he was living would come to a pause. Each time, he was thinking.
Next week.
But you never came. 
It’s been almost a month. Did something happen to you? Were you sick? Maybe he could ask his Mother to see if you were okay? He was on his bed, clinging to Eamon, his back was hurting so much he almost wanted to bite off his hand from the pain.
But no, he just stared in the void, losing his smile. And then, a thought struck him.  
Was killing a human any different than an animal?
His eyes widened, but before he could deepen his thoughts on the subject, he heard footsteps downstairs. Yours footsteps. It was you. He was sure of it. He heard the door smashed open, well, weren’t you full of energy today?
“ So unladylike. I could recognize your footsteps anywhere.”
He frowned when he didn’t hear any witty come back from you. Well? 
“ I.. I made your favorite dish..” you whispered, your voice trembling with each word as you tried to speak out loud.Why did you sound like that? “ Can… Can I see you?”
You wanted to see his pathetic self right now? You really had a bad timing, you’ll have to work on it, really.
“ No.”
“ Please…” you begged, it sounded like you were crying, why were you crying?. “ I was so worried… My father told me what happened–” 
“ What did he tell you?” His voice was colder than usual. He didn’t want you to know. He didn’t want anyone to know.
“ That… That you went hunting with your dad and–” you approached the bed and flinched when you felt his hand covering your eyes. So you were crying, he thought. He could feel your tears wetting the palms of his hands. “ Because of your father you- you have been hurt.” you cried, holding his wrist with one of your hands. “Alastor, I was so scared..!”
Me too, I was so scared.
“ Keep your eyes closed.”
He couldn't help himself. He hugged you. You were finally here. Hell was over for some time.  He wanted to see you so bad. He wanted to see you…
“Yes, I wanted to see you.”
“ Are you hurting?”
“ No. Remember Rules number two: I’m the strongest here.”
He smiled as he heard you laugh. Yes, everything would turn out nicely. He just had to be more careful. To be more observant. He would be the strongest for you. You’ll never have to worry for him to the point of crying. Nobody would keep your friendship from you. He sighed in relief, you were here…
“ I want to see your face.”
Mhn.. Well, as long as it is just his face. He stepped back and smiled at you. You didn’t have to worry.
“ Be my guest.”
 His smile widened when he saw your confused face. You must have thought he would have injuries on his face heh? 
“ You said you wanted to see my face, not my injuries.” he smiled cunningly at you while holding Eamon against his chest. 
“ Why do our deer have pink…red spots on him?” you tilted your head, stroking its fur.
Ah, right. His Mother had tried but she couldn’t wash all the blood he had lost on the fawn each week. Were you going to be upset ? He didn’t protect your fawn even though he told you he would take care of it. Were you going to be disappointed in him?
“ I’m sorry. I bled on him.”
He watched as you sat next to him and gently kissed his cheeks, resting your lips against his skin. Did you know it was the spot his father had punched weeks prior ? Of course, you wouldn’t know. He only could feel your lips, the pain in his back wasn’t there anymore. He squeezed your hand. He missed you… He missed this…
“ I missed you.” you both said.
He smiled softly, as you began to explain all the week he has missed. He felt his heart soared when you explained how you had made a scene so you could come and see him. He had to tease you, because if not, he felt like he would explode with happiness. You have missed him, his presence was something you wanted, he was important for you.
Unfortunately, you had to go.
Well, Hell is forever, right?
He went downstairs, keeping his hand around yours. You seemed so worried. He looked at you after your mother asked about his well being. Why were you so quiet ? 
“ I promise, I’ll see you soon.”
“ You promise? How do I know if you are going to be sick, or injured once again?”
Oh that’s why.
You were so cute. Unfortunately, he couldn’t promise to never be injured again, he would be breaking his promise tonight. What kind of promise could he conjure that would make you both ties to each other forever.
“ Let’s make a deal.”
He approached his face close to yours and kissed your forehead. You blushed and he couldn’t feel bad about it, red suited you.
“ You always kiss me good morning, so now, I’ll kiss you goodbye. Now, you owe me a good morning kiss.” he smiled at you teasingly as he took a step back. “ Do we have a deal?”
Please, say yes.
“ Deal.”
He smiled, now he knew that even though he would suffer because of his father, you would always come back to him, healing him without being aware of it. You were his special.. Something. You were the one painting a true smile on his lips. You were his special person.
Tag List: lukneetoonz @martinys-world @littlepoetnova @sirens-and-moonflowers @eris-norwega @tiredflame132 @mo-0-o @vvollerie @boogiemansbitch @sodavizz @tessemerick @slytherin4ever
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loganhowlettshousewife · 1 month ago
Note
request for a logan x reader where logan comforts the reader after they come home from a mission all bloodied up? i see a lot of reader comforting logan fics but im curious to see how itd be the other way round :)
me? responding to a request like three weeks later? it's more likely than you think. also sorry it's so short. originally it turned into smut but i didn't know if you'd want that given the request was for hurt/comfort. (if you guys want i can publish the alternate smut version of this fic too).
solace
summary: you come home from a mission gone wrong and logan helps you through it.
warnings: death (offscreen), blood, non-sexual intimacy, nudity, reader has hair, pet names (logan canonically calls his love interests "darlin'" and this is me pushing that agenda), english is not my first language so please do not be rude
word count: 1004
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you’re splattered in blood and grime, grey ash streaking your skin from the fire created by a little boy lashing out at the world. he had set his own house on fire, his parents dying in the most brutal of ways, burned alive.
“oh princess, c’mere,” logan pulls you into his arms. you’re in too much shock to argue, letting him manoeuvre you like a doll.
you don’t like going on missions, don’t like hurting people. you’re only ever sent on the easy ones, the non-violent ones, where you try to convince mutant kids to join the school. you’re good at talking to children, at getting them to admit their fears to you, at soothing their worries. but even the easy missions don’t always go well.
charles could sense that this particular child was powerful, and far worse than that, he was angry. he’d lashed out when he’d seen you, screamed in anger when his parents expressed a desire for him to go to xavier’s school, to learn to control himself before he came back home again. his parents were frightened too, scared of what might happen if things continued the way they were.
they’d all died in the explosion of his power.
he was so scared. he never meant to hurt anyone, you could see it in his eyes when the fire continued to burn despite him letting go. it was out of control, no longer a part of him that he could control like an extra limb, but something with a mind of its own.
it reminds you of yourself when you’d first discovered your abilities, scared and alienated from the rest of the world, from the non-mutants around you. you see yourself in every kid you save, and in every kid you lose.
you stay in logan’s arms for a long while, the only sound in the room his steady breathing contrasting with your ragged, choked out sobs. his chest rises steadily against yours, a rhythm that you try to imitate but you can’t, and with every failed inhale you feel your frustration grow, your panic increase.
he picks you up easily, and you instinctively wrap your legs around his waist, clutching onto him so as not to fall. he would never drop you, you know that, but it’s always a slight surprise when you’re not expecting him to lift you from the ground.
he leads you to the bathroom where he helps you strip out of your clothes, so gentle with your shaking form. his hands trace each new sliver of skin revealed to him, keeping a firm pressure on you always, grounding you, reminding you of where you are. not in a burning house watching a child’s corpse go pitch black from the flames, but in the house that logan bought the two of you, not too far from the school but enough to give the two of you privacy.
in the shower, the blood rinses off your skin, pink rivulets swirling down the drain. yet you can still feel it, thick and sticky and warm. you want to scrub at your skin until its red and blistering, until you have to grow a new layer of skin, a fresh one that hasn’t been touched by death.
logan doesn’t let you. he catches your hand and whispers, “let me take care of you, darlin’.”
you lean into his bare chest and he massages shampoo into the roots of your hair, over your scalp until it foams, and then rinses it away. he runs your conditioner - the one he always claims is too expensive and why would you spend so much on hair products - through your hair, tugging gently at the strands when he notices you disappearing into your mind.
afterwards he pats you dry, and kisses every inch of your skin, reverent, on his knees before you. and then he rises to his feet and finally presses his lips to yours, soft and intimate, not rushed or heated, just reassurance that he’s here, he’s got you, and he’s not going anywhere.
“do you want to talk about it?” he asks eventually.
you shake your head, “he was just a kid.”
“i know,” logan says, rubbing his large, rough hands over your arms, up and down, “but it’s not your fault, you know that. you can’t control what other people do. d’you blame storm for what happened?”
“no!” you exclaim, eyes wide at the implication that one of your best friends could have caused the boys death.
“but she was on the mission with you,” logan comments, and you shake your head, “if you don’t blame her, you can’t blame yourself. neither of you knew, you couldn’t’ve stopped it.”
“maybe,” you say. you don’t really believe it, but logan knows it’ll take you time to get back to your usual happy self, and he’s fine with staying by your side, whispering praise and reassurance until you start to believe him again.
afterwards, he puts on your favourite movie. he spends the whole time making fun of the characters and their decisions, grumbling about how movies will base their entire plot progression on actions no real, rational person would ever do, until you giggle wetly and slap him in the arm, telling him to shut up and let you watch the film.
you lean back into the circle of his arms and he holds you tight, occasionally wiping stray tears that run down your cheeks. there’s less tension in your muscles now, but you’re not quite relaxed, so he shuffles the two of you around until he can massage your shoulders and back.
you moan at the feeling, sinking into the sensation of his large hands working at the knots, until you’re putty for him. you feel warm and fuzzy by the time his hands start to stray down, massaging your thighs.
“feelin’ better?” he asks as the end credits roll, pressing a kiss to your hair.
“yeah,” you sigh, “thank you for taking care of me.”
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