#roy: you're damn right it is!
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Damn. Roy went for Dick's throat.
World's Finest: Teen Titans #5
#dick: i'm the leader so our failed mission is my fault#roy: you're damn right it is!#no but all the titans tore into each other in this issue#i like it. they've all got issues. they're teens. they've got drama. they're not a well oiled machine yet. this is fun#i'm living for conflict#Dick Grayson#Roy Harper
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that time when Bruce suggested to his sons to invite Wally, Roy, Conner and Jonathan for dinner in the Manor, he saw how happy his sons were. sure, the table was a bit choaitc as different kinds of energy filled the room, but he didn't mind.
when he saw Dick's radiant smile and Damian's blushing face, and heard Jason's hearty laugh and Tim's soft giggle, he knew he didn't want his sons to be heartbroken ever again.
so he had an idea.
---
when The Justice League ends their meeting at the Watchtower, Batman asks for The Flash, Green Arrow and Superman to stay behind.
Superman: Something wrong, Batman?
Batman narrowed his eyes on the three League members as if he is analyzing them deeply.
Flash, gulps: Um, Bats. I know we've been a Team for years now, but your stare still kinda scares me....
Green Arrow, snorts: Oh dear, old, Spooky. Tell us-
Batman: You do know that I have contingency plans for each of you, right?
Flahs gulps again, Superman nods and Green Arrow rolls his eyes, although they remain silent.
Flash, horrified: Oh no, what did we do wrong? What did I do, Bats?
Superman starts to touch Batman by the shoulder, but Batman steps back.
Batman: They're great, so I know you're raising those kids right.
Batman, walks towards the exit: Because if my sons get hurt, I'm taking the actions to you.
and they finally understood.
Green Arrow: Oh.
Superman, smiles: Aw, don't worry, Batman. My boys are well-raised and behaved. They got it from their mama.
Green Arrow: Spooky, Roy is a father now. He and Jason are taking care of Lian, so they're locked for life. Plus, he knows he doesn't want to get on The Red Hood and Batman's bad sides.
Flash: Wally would never hurt Dick. He's got a crush on him since they were kids.
Batman, pats his utility belt: Contingency plans. Never forget.
he finally leaves the room.
the room is quiet, you can hear a pin drop on the floor even if you're not a super.
Green Arrow, speaks first: Doesn't he just use those plans when we've gone off the rails, or something like that?
Superman: Well, it's his sons' happiness we are talking about here.
Flash, releases a shaky breath: Damn it. I'm calling Wally.
Green Arrow: Oh fu- I barely know where Roy is these days.
Superman, already ahead of the two: See you both!
he's already flying out the room, already concentrating on finding both of his sons.
#when the batman is in dad mode it's kinda scary#incorrect batfam#incorrect dc#batdad shenanigans#batfamily#batdad#batbros#batman#superman#the flash#green arrow#bruce wayne#birdflash#jayroy#timkon#jondami#dc comics#yel chronicles
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IN A STITCH, IN A PINCH | J. TODD
SUMMARY: you’ve developed something of a friendship with the Outlaws, but you’re not quite sure about what the irascible Red Hood thinks of you.
WARNINGS: graphic description of burn injury, oblique reference to canonical parental drug dependency, reader is a meta.
NOTES: bringing back an old work! Re: the burns treatment depicted here - my area of study was clinical microbiology, not emergency medicine; everything I know about burns is relegated to opportunistic Staphylococcus aureus infection and how Gram negative skin flora influence wound healing. Take none of what you see in this fic as medical advice; if you do have a severe burn, call 999 and get your arse to an A&E ASAP.
After an extraterrestrial incident in your city that ended with something to the tune of 5 and a half million dollars worth of property damage and you knitting Arsenal's torn-open back together in a moment of adrenaline-fuelled insanity, you've developed something of a friendship with the Outlaws.
What that really means is that you periodically come off your shift at the hospital to find 2 mercenaries and an alien princess divesting your fridge of it's contents, and get wheedled into using your meta abilities to heal wounds that would otherwise take them out of play for a good few months.
You're under no illusions. You're aware that a healer is a useful contact to have, that should the situation necessitate it they'll take the few scant inches you can give and run a mile with them.
However, you're also aware that being a meta is a risk and that it pays to be liked and valued by dangerous people.
It's a friendship of convenience, but a friendship nonetheless.
Kori picks you up bodily and spins you in a tight circle until you're giggly and dizzy when confess her favourite shirts of yours are always freshly washed, just in case.
Roy gives you a vulgar wink when you order his shirt off to take a look at where his back scarred over, but faithfully applies the Vitamin E cream you give him for the scarring, trusting you to ease his discomfort, and sneaks bottles of your favourite elderflower cordial and the tins of Zambuk you can never find in the US for you to find when he leaves.
The only one you can't quite puzzle out your relationship with is Jason. He's taciturn, stands watch faithfully as Roy and Kori pull you into friendly hugs and dizzy spins, pepper playful kisses on your cheek and rub their knuckles into your hair. He rolls his eyes at his teammates' antics, huffs through his nose at your fussing.
Sometimes though, he'll call you sweetheart in a low rasp as he bumps you away from the sink to take over doing the dishes.
Sometimes, you think you catch him watching you with something unnameable and warm in his eyes.
You're not expecting your front door to fly open and damn near off the hinges late on Saturday evening — just as you're fresh out of the shower and only just into your pyjama shirt & shorts, might you add — but your alarm and annoyance die on your tongue when you see Roy and Kori's grim faces and the way that Jason sways despite both of their considerable strength holding him up.
You smell the odd, sour-smoke char of burned flesh as they pass you to ease Jason down oh so gently onto your sofa, and your gut goes cold with fear. The burn, once you get his shirt cut open, is not as extensive as you'd feared, but it's still something from a horror scene.
It's a third degree burn, skin mulberry-red, weeping and blistered in a long arc that curls up from his right hip to just under his right pectoral.
"Bloody hell." You breathe, horrified.
You run to your room, digging out your first aid kit, and drop to your knees by the couch as you tear it open.
Roy snorts, bitter as cyanide. "Yeah, that's a fairly accurate summary of the situation, sweets. The only reason he's still alive is because he dodged and got a glancing blow from the energy beam instead of a direct hit."
You look up from Jason's side.
"I'll need you and Kori to get some things." You say, hands shaking at the prospect of the task in front of you. "I can reduce the severity of the burn to a first degree, maybe, but it–"
"What do you need?" Kori snaps, terse. You reel off a list - topical antiseptic, light bandages, a banana bag & an IV kit, amoxicillin - and then look to Roy.
"I need you to get him to take some co-codamol. It'll kick in in about 10 minutes given his enhanced metabolism, but I can't do anything until he's got painkillers in him."
Roy's brows tighten further.
"Jason doesn't do opiates."
"Roy, if this was anybody else he'd be hooked up to IV morphine! If I start working on him without him having painkillers, he'll go into shock which could kill him." You exclaim.
You make low, soothing sounds when Jason tenses at the shouting, only to groan at the fresh wave of agony in his side.
The sound of Jason's pain seems to be decisive enough for Roy, who moves round the couch and grabs the box of effervescent tablets, dissolving two in water and coaxing Jason into drinking it down.
When the glass is empty, Roy is back to his feet, quick as lightning. He strides to the door, shepherding Kori out of your apartment.
"We'll be back with everything you need in half an hour, tops. Please, help him."
Jason comes out of the shrieking adrenaline of agony to the sound of your voice, and a slight cotton fuzz in his head.
Narcotics, then, but a fairly low dose for him to still retain this degree of alertness. Feeling the encroaching spectre of that terrible pain just barely held at bay, finds he's grateful for the medication.
He goes to prop himself up on his elbows, only to strike a line of phosphorus-white flare of pain down his side that has him hissing breath through gritted teeth.
Above him, you make a startled sound, press a hand to his sternum to keep him down. His eyes catch yours, and he sees the relieved sag of your spine and shoulders at the alertness in his eyes.
"Thank fuck you didn't go into shock." You sigh. "Stay still, I've just about got this down to a second degree burn. I've just got your hip."
You snap off your nitrile gloves and lean forward, cupping his face in your hands. "Don't make a habit of this. You'll kill us off with stress if you keep on nearly-dying."
As if on cue, the front door opens and Roy and Kori come into the living room, pharmacy bags clutched tightly in their grips and fragile hope in their eyes.
When they see Jason's alert eyes, the slow knit of skin and sub-dermal tissue and hear his sheepish grumbling in, response to you, their smiles are like sunlight.
Healing the burn is slow going, taking a full five evenings after your shifts.
Roy and Kori are intent on Jason staying the full course of treatment — settled by a, literally, on account of Kori, flaming row when he asks for his helmet and body armour —and though your entreaties are quieter, they're no less insistent.
It serves him right, probably, but it's driving him to distraction.
Specifically, the feeling of your hands over his skin is driving him to distraction.
He's not sure whether it's mercy or the sweetest of torture when you approach him, eyes darting down his body in a way that's half-assessing, half appraising before the heat-shock of your touch makes contact, pieces his skin back together.
(The thing is, Jason's attuned to everything about you, has been ever since you pulled Roy's flayed skin back shut whilst the city was still smoking behind you, totally unafraid in scrub trousers and a hoodie.
He's got it bad, and it's not exactly subtle.
Roy and Kori haven't missed that, or the way he reacts to you, judging by the raised eyebrows and teasing smirks as they lean up against the wall and watch you work.
He hopes the glare he levels at them over the top of your head communicates exactly what he'll do to them if they open their mouths.
It all comes to a head on Monday evening, when you come home from your OR shift, duck into the shower and then come into the living room in a too-large grey t-shirt and deliciously short sleep pants.
Jason's heart stops for a second. He lets his eyes flit despairingly over to Roy and Kori as you prep your kit, watches their unrepentant grins with a burning resentment towards them.
Having you this close to him, worry-soft and lit like a Rembrant from the lamp on the side table without being able to touch you is the closest thing to hell there is. You're close enough that he can smell the overlapping, inoffensive fragrances of your facial skincare products, see the faint pearlescent sheen of the residue of some serum on the apples of your cheeks, the tip of your nose, the soft line of your jaw.
Your nitrile-gloved hand settles gently on the raw new skin just above his hip and he jumps, his own broad hand flying up defensively to catch your wrist and still your movement. It's a mistake he regrets immediately.
The skin of your wrist is still tacky-soft with still-settling moisturiser, hair curling damp where the spray of your shower caught it. Jason's mind spins an unbidden reel of your hands, smoothing lotion over the plush expanse of your thighs, the line of your neck and the gentle swell of your décolletage, the curve of your hip.
He presses his eyes shut tightly.
He feels feral, the hungry bones of him blown open and exposed like the hull of a shipwreck. He wants to worry marks the shape of his mouth into your thighs, your neck, across your collarbones. He wants your knees bracketing his hips, the weight of you on top of him.
God, he wants–
"Are you okay? You're not in too much pain, are you?" He hears you ask.
He knows he's in far too deep when the thought of tasting the way the words roll off your tongue flits across his mind.
"Sorry." He croaks, releasing your hand. "Instinct."
(Roy turns to Kori with a snort, murmuring low so you can't hear.
"He's been watching like he wants to eat them alive since the first time we met and it's a miracle he's got enough blood north of his waistband to be capable of speech, but sure. Instinct.")
#marley.txt#jason todd x reader#red hood x gn!reader#red hood x reader#red hood x you#jason todd x gn!reader#jason todd x you#jason todd fic#jason todd#jason todd fluff#dc x reader#I am a humble path lab dude if the medicine is wrong that’s not my problem ���👍🏽#do not get your medical advice from fic abeg#if you’re getting poly vibes…. you may be on to something…. 🤭#part 2 might come along depending on the response to this#(guess this is where we see if folks read the tags of my fics LMFAOAOAOAOA)#zambuk ref!!!! spot the sub Saharan 😭😭😭
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MC: Dorm check, assholes.
Sebek: Cease addressing us in such a manner, mortal! Particularly in the esteemed presence of Waka-sama!
Malleus: It's alright, Sebek. This human and I are friends.
Sebek: W-Waka-sama?
MC: You heard the dude. Anyway, I'm going to trespass as usual.
Malleus: *chuckles* Our door is open.
Lilia: Hey~! I've cooked breakfast! You should eat with us first!
MC: Fucker, didn't I tell you to never use the fucking kitchen? You're a damn biohazard.
Lilia: *chuckles* Oh come on! I've improved since last time!
Silver: Indeed. I wasn't sent to the clinic after eating his food.
MC: ...
MC: Come here, Lilia. Let me smack you.
Sebek: Stop speaking rudely to Lilia-sama!
MC: Shut up, croc.
Sebek: !!!
Vil: I've been looking for you. You haven't answered any of my messages.
MC: *doing some plumbing work* I'm not accepting that modelling job.
Vil: It's once in a lifetime opportunity.
MC: Not my cup of beer.
Vil: It's tea.
MC: I don't drink tea.
Vil: *sigh* Okay. How about this? What if Grim joins you in this modelling job?
MC: I'm not starving that cat.
Vil: ...
Vil: He doesn't need to go on a diet.
MC: Oh? I saw you eating unseasoned chicken. Don't lie to me.
Vil: ...
Cater: 'Sup, Vil!
Vil: Hello, Cater. I have a job for you.
Cater: Wow. You're not even going to ask how's my day?
Vil: I'm not interested with that. Say, does MC frequently post on Magicam?
Cater: Yeah. Their photos are pretty dope!
Vil: What's their account?
Cater: I'll send it to you. Here.
Vil: *receives it*
Vil: ...
Cater: Pretty neat, right?
Vil: ...
Grim: Mryah! What do you want from me?!
Vil: Grim, you'll have to convince your guardian to be a model and in return, I will buy you premium cans of tuna.
Grim: *frowns a little* Huh? I'm not that cheap. Hench-human doesn't just feed me cans of tuna! I just had a filet mignon last night! Mryah!
Vil: ...
Vil: I can give you more than a filet mignon.
Grim: Nope. Nuh-uh.
Vil: ...
Epel: What's up with Vil? Why is he trying so hard to convince MC to be a model?
Rook: *shows him their photo*
Epel: ...
Epel: Wow.
Rook: Roi du Poison has an upcoming huge project and he badly needs a partner. And MC has met all the requirements.
Epel: ...
Epel: MC and I are close. I can convince them.
Rook: Merveilleux! Roi du Poison will be happy if you did convince them!
Epel: Haha...
#twisted wonderland#twst mc#twst malleus#twst lilia#twst sebek#twst silver#twst vil#twst cater#twst rook#twst epel#twst grim#the affable delinquent
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"You slashed his tires?" Dick asked, disappointed at the upcoming answer.
Inspired by Class of 09 mostly cause I imagine Jason would be there for Roy as a friend. I'm aware the characters that most of these lines are connected to are clinically insane, but I wanted to write this because I like their dynamic and it's just my silly headcanon fanfic.
Dick Grayson: Jason, I've been questioning this since you became friends with Roy.
Jason Todd (staring into his coffee): You're jealous he's my friend and not yours.
Dick (sincere): No, you're a good influence on him, I'm not upset about that. I noticed Oliver Queen seems to hate you a lot. Why?
Jason: We... We didn't have the best first meet up when I became friends with Roy.
Dick sat down and waved his hand for Jason to continue.
Dick: I have to hear this.
Jason: Okay... It’s a really funny story, you’re gonna laugh by the end of it.
Dick (sighing): I doubt it, but go on.
---Flashback (inspired by Class of 09)---
Roy and Jason entered Oliver Queen's mansion. Jason looks around, amazed to be in another rich person's house that isn’t his dad’s.
Roy: You think that cop bought our story?
Jason: Yeah, the other guy confirmed it while we ran off... we’re good. I’ll be right back; I have to fix this.
Roy watched as Jason walked over to a tilted painting in Oliver Queen’s house.
Roy: What are you doing?
Jason Todd (examining a framed picture of a flower): I can’t deal with this painting being crooked.
Jason aligned the frame. Roy laughed until he heard footsteps descending the stairs. He realized his father had come home early. Oliver Queen saw Roy and a strange man in his foyer.
Oliver Queen: Where have you been?
Roy Harper: I don’t know, are you a cop now?
Oliver: No note, no text— you could have died!
Roy: With how you handled my drug use, would you have cared?
Oliver: Get over it; you’re fine.
Jason (walking over): Roy, why’s this asshole yelling at you?
Oliver: And who’s this?
Roy: My… new friend.
Jason: We were at the mall, by the way, so you can stop grilling Roy.
Oliver: So I’m supposed to believe you two were at the mall all night?
Roy: What do you mean “all night”? We were there for like, what… two or three hours?
Jason (looking around): Yeah, two and a half. Like the show.
Oliver: It’s 1 in the morning!
Jason: Damn, we hung out with that guy that long?
Oliver: What guy?
Roy (nervous): Nobody.
Oliver: What guy, Roy?
Roy: Nobody!
Oliver: Tell me!
Roy (frustrated): Oh my God.
Oliver: Tell me or your friend has to go home!
Jason (amused): Cool, an ultimatum.
Roy (losing his cool): You really want to know?
Oliver: Yes! What guy was this?
Roy (shouting): The crackhead in front of the mall we sold weed to!
Oliver (shocked): Where did you even get—oh, you’re so stupid!
Roy: Oh, so you hate homeless people too?!
Oliver: My opinions about the homeless community are not the issue here! Dealing drugs in public—dealing drugs in general- it doesn’t matter if you sold them to get rid of them! How can you be so idiotic?!
Jason, irritated at Oliver yelling at his friend, steps in.
Jason: It was actually kind of smart.
Oliver (indignant): Excuse me?
Jason: You better fix your fucking tone with me before I slash your tires!
Oliver (offended): Who are you talking to?!
Jason: I’m talking to you, Green Arrow!
Oliver: How did you—
Roy: Ollie, funny story—
Oliver: Did you sell him crack or heroin? Did you tell him who I was for that smack, Roy?!
Roy, rubbing his arm shamefully, remains silent.
Jason: Who says “smack”? You 1950s gangster! I also love how you didn’t pretend you weren’t him; that’s how stupid you are! We sold weed to a crackhead, because what would a crackhead want with weed? Cops won’t expect that shit! It’s genius!
Oliver (mocking): Genius, really?!
Jason: Yeah! And he’s been sober for a few freaking years! So lay off him! We sold the weed because we had it left over from a mission! A mission you weren’t on! What did you want us to do, keep it? That’s dumb! We did a business deal and got rid of evidence. You should be thankful we don’t have it!
Roy (defiant): Yeah, so... why don’t you shut the fuck up?!
Oliver (smirk): What if I have you arrested? You’ll be able to walk, since your plan is so bulletproof!
Roy: No, wait, don’t do that!
Jason: Go the fuck ahead, asshole. They’ll believe us because we’re young and you’re old and dried up.
Oliver: That’s it, I don’t want you hanging out with him anymore!
Jason (angry): He can hang out with whoever the fuck he wants, bitch! So why don’t you go to your room, pour your little Cognac, watch M.A.S.H, and shut the fuck up or I’ll shove an arrow up your urethra!
Oliver: I can't believe you'd say that!
Oliver busted into tears and runs off.
Jason: God, that felt good. Wish I could say that to my dad.
Roy: Why don’t you?
Jason: He’ll write me out of the will.
Roy: Wow, huh... I think you broke him, so yeah, I get not saying that to Bruce.
Jason: I did break him... Awesome. I’m glad I defended you.
Roy: Honestly, I appreciate that, but we should leave. He’s going to be sobbing for a while.
Jason: And watching M.A.S.H?
Roy: It’s not on tonight.
---End of Flashback---
Jason: Then I stole some stuff from his fridge, slashed his tires, and we’ve had animosity toward each other ever since. Man, those were crazy times. Guess he hasn’t forgotten about it.
Jason sighed contentedly.
Dick (rubbing his forehead, exhausted): You do realize how that wasn’t okay, right?
Jason: Yes, but I helped Roy when he was struggling and got that Oliver prick off his case. I’ve done a lot for Roy, especially in helping him get full custody of his daughter. Oliver should be appreciating what his son has become. I am such a good person, you know that?
Dick (chuckling): I don’t disagree. At least you’re not the only one Oliver dislikes.
Jason: Who else does he hate?
Dick: Bruce. Long story.
#batman#jason todd#roy harper#oliver queen#green arrow#arsenal#red hood#dick grayson#inspired by class of 09#batfam shenanigans#roy and jason#bruce wayne#this is my headcanon#jayroy#i love their friendship#Jason would do this for a friend#batfamily funny#jason todd and roy harper#yes roy harper was addicted to drugs#roy harper and jason todd#oliver queen leave them alone Jason has a point#aww they're bonding through their trauma#batfamily#Batfamily Adventures - The Series#batfamily shenanigans#flash fiction#batfamily comedy#batfamily headcanons#batfamily fanfiction#batfamily wholesome
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Dickjayroy but it's "nice legs you've got there. I bet they look good open"
(Hi it's me Synnin🫣)
Hey, Synnin'~ 🥰
By no means is it the weirdest situation Dick ever catches Roy in, but it's definitely one of the more jarring if only because Roy is putting hands on his brother.
To say that Dick is ready to throw hands in turn is an understatement. Everyone always wonders where a bat's line is with their no-killing rule—turns out it's here. With one of Dick's best friends flirting with Dick's little wing as Dick watches from the entry of his own damn apartment.
It's been a good run for him. Him being Roy, specifically, because Dick is going to throttle him.
He has no idea why the two of them are here of all places, dressed for a night out and huddled close and intimate. With Jason on the kitchen counter and Roy stood between his legs, hand just above his knee.
The only thing that spares Roy from being put in the ground is the sound of Jason's laughter, loud and breathless.
It tempers Dick in an instant, a ghost of a smile pulling at his lips because Jason is caught in a giggle fit. It's uncharacteristic to see him so loose, but also so charming the way Jason tries to hide behind his arm, legs kicking out to drive Roy back—smile sharp and biting, cheeks flushed from how he cackles.
Jason is as intimidating as ever, but also somehow overwhelmingly cute.
'Stop, I can't—' he'd hear Jason snicker, hand smacking down onto the counter. Gasping through his own laughter. Biting it back only for it to sputter out of him again while he shakes his head, 'it's not the same!'
Which would make Roy bark out a laugh of his own, affronted because, 'What do you mean it's not the same!? It's exactly the same!'
'You don't look like—' And it would be then that Jason catches sight of Dick in the entry. And when their gazes catch, Jason's laughter dies on his lips. He looks like a deer in the headlights as he startles and corrects whatever he was about to say. Cheeks flushing from giddy pink to an embarrassed red when he exclaims, too loud, 'Handsome!'
'Hey now,' Roy would complain.
Dick wouldn't be able to help how he laughs under his breath at how offended Roy sounds about Jason's unwitting insult. Dick uses it as an excuse to let himself into this weird situation. Playful when he quips, 'Don't worry Harper, you're plenty handsome to me.'
Which would make Roy laugh, in turn. Because 'Thanks, Grayson. Wish I could say your tastes are better than this guy's, but...'
It's a little on the nose, so of course Jason flusters. Meanwhile Dick is clueless, not realizing that Jason's type is Dick. Dick stays clueless, too. Because although Dick gets an explanation of why Roy and Jason have broken into his apartment and are dressed to go clubbing, they keep some choice details to themselves.
The situation: a botched mission because Jason got distracted by someone picking him up. He got too flustered and missed their actual target, as a result.
The missing detail: the guy that picked Jason up looked vaguely similar to Dick. Who Jason has been crushing on for two lifetimes. (ꈍᴗꈍ)♡
Anyway, from Dick's perspective it's the silliest of mishaps. It's not like Jason at all to fumble a mission so hard, but then again? Dick has never seen Jason get picked up on.
Which leads to their present situation, with Dick trying his hardest not to look too humored or endeared because, 'So was this an exposure therapy thing or...?'
It's a none-too-subtle way to ask if they're dating. They could be! For all Dick loves Roy and trusts him to treat Jason right, Dick still might try to kill him if Roy is in fact sticking it to his little brother, but it's cool. Dick can be supportive.
Fortunately, he doesn't have to be.
Because Roy laughs and Jason looks horrified. 'No!' Jason would stress to him, too quick, too adamant for whatever reason. And Roy would laugh more because he's in the know while Dick is still trying to figure it out.
It comes out that, yes, they were trying for exposure therapy. Because, as Roy stresses, Dick can't imagine how embarrassing it was to watch Jason stutter like he was confronted by a childhood crush. (;
And Dick is so fond because Jason getting flustered over being flirted at is such a normal thing. It highlights how young he still is, what a romantic he is at heart despite the rough and tough persona.
Something something Roy taps Dick in for this weird role-play lesson to help Jason with learning to maintain his composure. Because if Jason can withstand Richie Grayson, there's nothing to worry about.
And it's stupid, but Roy's always been good about encouraging Dick to let loose and do silly shit, so Dick plays along. Cringing at the lines Roy feeds him, but laughing under his breath because fine, he'll make it work. Ready, little wing?
Jason looking very not ready. He's got a weak poker face. He's already blushing, eyes wide and flustered. A panicked look to Roy, only for Dick to steal his attention with a wicked smile and a challenge that steels Jason's resolve and settles his nerves.
Then something something Dick standing between Jason's legs and biting back a smile over how (,,>﹏<,,) Jason gets.
And Dick goes to open his mouth, but Jason raises his arms and makes an X because time out, time out! He can't breathe.
Dick waiting while Roy torments like the good friend he is. About Jason needing to take advantage of this rare opportunity. About Dick being too devilishly handsome—give little Jaybird a chance, damn.
Dick standing back with his hands raised, marveling at how Jason hides behind his. Considering how it is that Dick gets such a grand reaction compared to Roy. He's well aware he's missing something; an inside joke he's not privy to.
Before Dick can figure it out, Jason resolves himself and tells Dick to go again. Jason is ready this time. Go, damn it. >/////<
Something something with Dick reciting the same line, but dressed up. A hand smoothing over Jason's thigh and marveling the jump of muscles beneath his touch. A line about how Jason's legs look nice—how they'd look better spread open. And Dick might nudge Jason's legs a bit wider. Then add how Jason's legs would look even better wrapped around him. And he'd pull Jason's leg a bit but it'd be Jason who pulls Dick in closer, leg hooked around him and he'd look so shy, but determined.
Dick patting Jason's leg and reminding him that he's supposed to be telling Dick to fuck off, not encouraging Dick to fuck him.
But Jason fumbles hard because: 'Fuck me.'
Cue wide eyed Dick and jaw dropped Roy and horrified Jason because omg. 😳😳😳
And oh, yep. Dick can see how the mission went awry if Jason's reaction is any indication. The poor guy looks fucked in a very captivating way. All wide eyes and rosy, freckled cheeks. It's cute.
No one knows how to move this interaction forward. So for a long time it's dickjay staring at each other in panic because the offer is out there and Dick's restraint is a foregone thing. He's so ready to say 'okay.' He forgets what he was doing that lead up to this. But yeah, lean back on this counter. Bend over it. Dick can give Jason something to actually fluster about.
Somehow, Roy manages to deescalate the situation because he knows his bestie isn't ready to jump into a casual hook up (Jason or Dick). The tension is there going forward though, lol.
Also, something something Dick going on the next mission. So that Dick can run interference for any unwanted flirts. Only Jason bristles and gets so prickly when Dick gets flirted at. Which makes him miss the target again.
This reply is pure silliness and no coherent plot ahhhhh, sorry Synnin'!! To make you wait so long and then probably give you brain hurt hahaha. The heavy-handed flirts with dickjay(+roy, whoops lol) is so funny. 🤭
But yes, thank you~ hope you're doing well!!
( ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝)♡
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> MC ASPECTS < How you renowned around town “You make your own reality. And once you’ve done it, apparently, everyone’s of the opinion it was all so fucking obvious.” - Logan - Fucking - ROy
!!parental advisory explicit!!
MC Aspecting Sun - “rome, I think you're a super talented superstar and I love you” - Shiv Roy : Its hard not to notice you, you got a poise of regality, and you work the public sphere with ease; you put yourself out there and you get a lot of attention from onlookers - and it makes you one of a kind. you are someone with dignity and maybe too much self respect for some, to give you the credit that you do deserve > because no one does it quite like you - high key a dominant force in any room you enter - wolf of wall street vibes and lets be honest you are not above having a party at the office... and paying hookers to make it more cool...... you do the most and its a vibe vibe MC Aspecting Moon - "They fuck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had, and add some extra just for you" - Therapist in succession You know how to put people at ease, and your basically a professional therapist at this point. You can lighten up anyones mood or piss everyone off depending on how you feel. And this understanding of psychology really benefits you; because people want to treat you right, so you can give them some insight as to why they have a mental breakdown every 5 minutes (this generations daily cycle) your like a dog that lives in a hair-salon and everyone wanna get a cuddle from it/he/she/thing/you
MC Aspecting Mercury - “Information, Greg, it’s like a bottle of fine wine. You store it, you hoard it, you save it for a special occasion and then you smash someone’s face with it.” - Tom Wambsgams When you stfu people are wondering what your thinking. because somehow. someway. you've taken control of the conversation, and whatever you say is taken with heavier consideration then the average person. However that does not mean you get your way, it just means we listen to you the most - easily the most valuable insight comes from you guys, and your perceived as. a hustler. no wonder your careful with ur words because you dont really care about getting the right answer in the known, if that ultimately inteferes with your master plan you'll just stay quiet - because you know how to navigate the world with words, and your aware that ultimately the final word - the best word - is the deciding factor of what we do MC Aspecting Venus - "Here’s the thing about being rich, okay? It’s fucking great. It’s like being a superhero, only better. You get to do what you want — the authorities can’t really touch you. You get to wear a costume, but it’s designed by Armani and it doesn’t make you look like a prick." - Tom Wambsgams Beauty pageants. Everyone is interested in you, because your beautiful and your graceful, and you'd make a fine edition to the list of exes that everyone has. So besides the fact that your fuckable, you know how to charm people so easily and thats why you get so much attention, and its positive unless your insecure about how attractive you are.... which is a real thing... and id say just get that plastic surgery or stfu and find some real solutions. i mean has anyone ever tried to tell a beautiful person, that they beautiful.... its exhausting... and then they just look for someone else (more beautiful) to get that validation. its a death trap!!! dont fall for that bs... but damn yo fine ass better get used to being a fine ass or someone gonna commit a crime on yo ass MC Aspecting Mars - "I got a track record from founding one of the most exciting new media brands in the world. And what do you got? Track marks from shooting junk? Thanks for coming down. It was great to meet you." - Lawyrence Yee Unfuckwitable - you embody the underdog - and i mean an under dog thorugh and through; youll bark at anything that pisses yall offf, and thats why people watch they step around yall, no one wanna get bitten by da big dog with a small dog complex. but your fierce and people try their best to match your aggressive energy just to save face for themselves - meanwhile your just more pissed off that you always gotta show yo teeth to anyone you talk to lol. Your competitive and act like crackhead that knows karate. everyone is low key intimidated by ya, and you know it
MC Aspecting Jupiter - "Most things don't exist. the ford motor company hardly exists. It's just a time saving expression for a collection of financial interests." - Logan RoyEveryone likes you, and sometimes you don't even understand why, and thats just another reason to like you. You show a geniune uninterest in any boring mundane activities > and this lack of care for bullshit makes it so that when you do show an interest for something > you've somehow convinced everyone in the room that your enthusiasm defines whats enjoyable. and this discernment makes others believe that your the new budha for socio-economic observations . I respect it. and you did it without even realizing, like thats a feat initself, and you guys are 100 feet tall in everyone elses eyes because you got a name fo yo self MC aspecting Saturn - "the actual fact is we're persuading more and more shareholders everyday that we offer them just a slightly better chance for them to make a little bit more money on the dollar…and that's all that this is…." - Stewy Hosseini The boss is here and now everyone gotta actually do something productive. you guys have respect, and people know that if they don't come at you correctly, then you'll correct it for them, and no one wanna be daddied by the king kong daddy. Your life is defined by hardships and this is the most noticeable trait about yall, and it has molded you into a gus fring. A stone cold killer. You don't have to say much but the weight of your presence in itself, is so much pressure, that everyone wanna ask for more time, but no one wanna be scolded by yall so we just stfu and deal with it MC Aspecting Uranus - "Nothing is a line. Everything, everywhere is always moving. Forever. Get used to it." - Logan Roy Who is they? who are we? why can they get away with acting like a complete fucking retard? Well they don't 'get away with it' they just fucking do it. I mean the balls on ya'll is undeniable, but the audacity and the concept of why. well no one knows and I don't think you do either. But you literally change the game wherever you go, because you do ridiculous shit just to make fun of reality, and it really does expose how much of a cult we all live in; since we all about our own rituals of bullshit. I applaud the audacity but everyone gets nervous around your unpredictable nervous explosions - your like a charged creeper; youve been shocked by something and now you just have to explode and ruin everyones buildings
MC Aspecting Neptune - "Climate said I was going down. Climate said I should just step aside. I guess I'm a climate denier" - Logan Roy You're imagination personified. You somehow write your favourite stories into reality > and you do this so uncosnciosuly thst you've somehow convinced everyone its real. You don't care much for whats actually real, you'd rather manifest what you want to be real > no matter whats being thrown at you (and theres a lot) you have a uncanny ability to be a energy conduit > and transform that energy into what pleases you the most. And because of this you appear to be a mystic. and theres a tendency to be very calm, and if life throws too much shit at you > and you've ran outta favours, its adios to the world. and the long road of finding your purpose again awaits! MC Aspecting Pluto - "Would you like to hear my favourite passage from Shakespear? Take the fucking money." - Logan Roy You are daunting aren't you. people don't talk to you very much, at least not any normal self abiding citizen. you look like TMNT - you look neglected > look like you ate some radioactive poison > became this mutant thing > and was raised by a rat that could beat your ass... how'd that go? you look great! I would shake your hand but Im honestly afraid your gonna bite me. Look your life is intense and borderline traumatic, I get it. but this makes you so mesmerising > you can have the whole room in a trance with your dark aura, and people just hand you power like its nothing. You don't even care tho, and thats what makes you even more powerful lol > if anyone can handle the dark. its you > and a powerful 'rep' requires someone who doesn't fuck around. and you do not
highly highly recommend succession > all the quotes used are from dat show - and its a fkn masta piece
#Mc aspects#astrology#astrology blog#astro community#astrology notes#astrology observations#house placements#astrology houses#astrology placements
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Jason Todd x South Asian!Reader HCs
requested | reader is fem, i tried to keep it non-specific so it applies to the whole region, not just india, hopefully i succeeded😬 read dick's hcs here !
i looooved writing this it was so much fun. drop an ask with anything else you want to see!!
When you show him Bollywood movies, at first he’s like “Why are these so damn long?” But watches them anyway because you’re so excited to show him
He obviously sobs at K3G (because he has daddy AND big brother issues)
But his favorite is probably 3 Idiots or Bhaag Milkha Bhaag (he just seems like the type to looove an underdog story am I right)
Since Jason likes cooking, he’s learning how to make all your favorite foods. He’s eaten a lot of Indian food before (duh, it’s New Jersey), so he’s familiar with the flavors and spices, but some dishes are easier than others. He tries to make dosa after you mentioned liking it but it does not go well
He’s trying so hard to impress you but they all keep breaking😭 and the ones that don’t break come out burnt. When he finally relents and lets you help him, you hold his hand and guide him to make the proper movements; pouring the batter, spreading it into a circle, and gently flipping it so it doesn’t break
He loves chai, and is always experimenting with different recipes and flavors and asking you to test them
You're taking him to the Indian market so often, by the end of the month he knows the names for all the vegetables and spices in your language and where to find them
He thinks you with mehendi/henna is the most attractive thing ever
Your friend’s getting married? Of course he’ll feed you while your mehendi’s drying, you don't even have to ask
When it's still fresh and at its darkest color he's actually going batshit insane (pun intended); he loves interlacing your fingers together and seeing the contrast of your dark, decorated fingers against his large, strong ones. His phone background is a selfie of you guys where your faces are squished side-by-side and one of your mehendi'd hands is cupping his cheek
And when you're on top of him, the sight of your adorned hands pressed flat against his bare chest, flushed and heaving...he thinks it belongs in a museum
He just loves doing little acts of service; one day you’re complaining offhandedly to him about how the price of eyebrow threading keeps going up, a week later you’ve forgotten all about it but he’s like “I learned how to thread your eyebrows”
He figured it would be easy enough, and as someone who’s life often depends on steady, surgical aim and precision, it is
Roy’s walking around looking messed up as fuck for a couple weeks but that’s beside the point because he’s got the hang of it now
When it comes to putting on a sari, he'll put the pins in the hard to reach places if you ask, but for the most part he just loves watching you put it on. he thinks it's so cute the way you scrunch your face in focus as you make the folds and tuck in the fabric with such concentration (Jason Todd domesticity agenda)
One night you're getting dressed up for some party, but no matter what you do and how many times you take it off and try to re-drape it, it just won't come out good and you get so frustrated and teary-eyed that he has to intervene
He makes you take a break, brings you a snack, and kisses you until you feel better, and then he pulls up a youtube video to do it for you— but he can't do it either😭
So you both decide to give up and you wear a lehenga instead
It’s a fairly modest one, and even though he's seen you wearing more-revealing clothes (and none at all), he's going crazy over that one inch sliver of exposed skin on your midriff
He already loves seeing you dressed up in traditional wear but if you put jasmine flowers in your hair with it??? The fragrance coming from you makes him feral. It lingers in your hair for a couple days and he can’t stop following you around and sniffing you LMAO
The first time you get a kurta for him, it’s actually impossible to find one that fits because he’s so big and buff (drool) so you just end up buying the fabric and getting it custom stitched
There's only a few scraps of the fabric left and you get the wonderful idea of braiding the scraps into a bracelet so you have something to match with him and it makes him go crazy
Early on in your relationship, you’re a little afraid to have oil in your hair in front of him because you’re worried he’ll think the smell is too strong
Jason is probably familiar with the practice of hair oiling from his time with Talia (but you don’t know that yet)
He actually LOVES when you oil your hair around him. Just something about him being the only one who gets to see you when you’re comfy and unready is so intimate to him and makes him feel so special and trusted and loved🥹
Time for some of my physical touch x touch starved!Jason propaganda
After a particularly difficult night of patrolling, he comes to you stressed and anxious and unsure what to do with himself. So you make him sit on the floor in front of your bed, warm up some of the oil, and seat yourself on the edge of the mattress. He leans back against your legs and you massage the warm oil into his scalp. It feels heavenly. You’re using the perfect amount of pressure, hitting all the right spots, and it feels so good he wants to cry. Later, when you pull him into the shower to shampoo it out, he actually does cry, hoping the water falling from the shower head hides the tears (it doesn’t, and it breaks your heart)
(If you were raised Hindu) I think he'd be very interested in the belief in reincarnation, past & future lives, oneness with the universe, etc...it might help him make some sense of his coming back
You bring mediation into his life, and that also really helps him
You wear Kajal/kohl/surma on your eyes, and whenever he’s looking especially good, or before he goes out as red hood, you smudge some onto your finger and put a mark behind his ear, just to be safe (it’s believed to deflect jealousy/bad intentions from others) (yes I’m superstitious sue me)
Or you just tie a black thread around his ankle
When you first explain to him that you want him to wear a black thread around his ankle because of a superstition, he thinks you’re joking. He can’t believe you actually believe in that
But he can’t say no to you and he secretly likes that you also have one so it feels like you’re matching
He considers it a good luck charm, not because he believes the superstition but because it’s from you
#nightwing#batman#red hood#jason todd#dick grayson#jason todd x reader#jason todd x you#jason todd x y/n#batfamily#dc universe#dc comics#dcu#damian wayne#dc robin#robin#bruce wayne#dick grayson x reader#dick grayson x you#dick grayson x y/n
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What do you think of Nightwing/Robins relationship with each of the Titans through the years? Specifically Roy, Donna, and Wally.
With Donna and Wally it’s so fluffy! With Roy however I feel like they are either partners in crime or hitting each other where it hurts
You're so right anon. With Donna and Wally things are pretty much perfect but with Roy, Dick's relationship is back and forth but it's not because they don't like each other. It's because they like each other too much.
Donna
Donna is EVERYTHING to Dick Grayson. She's his sister, best friend, other half. Hardcore ride or die. He literally walked her down the aisle the day of her wedding.
Tales of the Teen Titans Issue #50
She also said she would follow him all the way down to hell and she damn sure means it.
Justice League of America (2006) Issue #50
These two aren't going anywhere but to each other.
Wally
World's Finest: Teen Titans Issue #5
Wally just loves Dick a lot. Like if he could Wally would just live with Dick forever and the two of them would just be happy for that.
You've probably read my other posts about Wally already but I'll collate them here just because it's a long time and it's a nice refresher.
Dick and Wally's friendship post
Dick as Wally's lightning rod post
How Dick and Wally in a relationship would go post
Roy
Like I said. It's not a problem but Roy's relationship with Dick is based on the fact that he loves Dick too much. He thinks Dick is the best thing in the world to ever exist. All the Titans think that but Roy wants to BE Dick. If you look at it, Roy's relationship with Dick is a parallel to Jason's relationship with Dick and Donna, Wally, and Garth's relationship with Dick matches exactly with Tim's relationship with Dick.
Jason thinks the world of Dick Grayson and tried his best to live up to him. He tried to fill in Dick's shoes which is exactly what Roy does.
Teen Titans (1996) Issue #13
He loves Dick to an extreme that he wants to emulate but finds himself struggling because he doesn't believe he achieves that. So, he acts out in order to recieve attention from Dick and Ollie and so on. He gets aggressive with the people he loves because he wants them to look at him. He wants to keep them looking at him. Which is the reason for the back and forth between best friend and angry friend moods he has going on with Dick. It's born out of respect and love and need for acknowledgement from the person who he considers is the greatest to have ever existed.
The reason I bring up Jason and Tim is because it's the clearest way to explain Dick's relationships with the Titans. The Titans and Dick's brothers hold him in the highest esteem - they just react to him differently. Wally,Donna, Garth, and Tim love Dick and think of him as the peak of perfection. So, Wally and Tim especially celebrate it by using him as an inspiration to be greater. In similar ways, Jason and Roy love Dick and think he's the peak of perfection and want to be him. They use him as inspiration but at the same time they feel the need to compete with him to prove their worth. Where Wally and Tim have just accepted that Dick is the best and can't be achieved by anyone, Jason and Roy actually do try to be like him. However you know what they say about Icarus - don't fly too close to the sun. Meaning, don't be too overly ambitious and greedy. I don't think there's anything wrong with what Jason and Roy do but the impact of what they're trying to achieve has negative consequences on their mental health.
They love him, want to be him, but personally feel they're falling short of him which brings in the mood swings. The rest of the Titans and Tim have a fluffier relationship because they don't even bother. They've just accepted that Dick is the best and go about on their day. So in summary, Roy's relationship with Dick is fraught with tension because of insecurities as a result of hero-worship. But truth be told, Roy loves Dick just as equally as Wally, Donna, and Garth. He simply shows his love a different way to him than they do because they're all their own individual people.
In terms of Dick viewing Roy, Dick is Roy's hardcore friend. He's a real one. When Roy was struggling with drugs, Dick single handedly dragged him into Rehab because he was there for him. Because for Dick, it makes him happy seeing Roy happy and successful.
The New Titans (1988) Issue #101
Titans (2008) Issue #23
And Roy literally holds down Dick when he freaks out and chases after Kori after she gets possessed at their wedding. The friendship they have is not the smoothest friendship but it's a real one. They need each other because when they're each at their worst the other other one comes in slaps the other around, gives a twisted love confession in the form of threats, and then they get better.
New Titans (1988) Issue #101
Dick is stubborn as hell but Roy is willing to put in the dirty work to pull him out. Same goes for Dick with Roy.
Outsiders is probably the best explanation of their dynamic. Roy put together the Outsiders because he didn't want Dick constantly depressed WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT WALLY DID WHEN HE PUT TOGETHER THE TITANS IN TITANS (1999). But it comes off differently because Roy is more aggressive in the way he shows love. If Roy needs anything, Dick's there for him immediately.
Action Comics (1938) Issue #631
THIS. This scene is them.
They're a flipping hot mess that love each other. In other words, Roy and Dick's friendship is what you get when you put two egoists in a room together and tell them that they're going to die only for them to start beating each other up because they're each screaming that they love the other more and neither refuses to let the other one go first. Kinda like the song Style. They fall apart and then they fall back together for an eternity.
#dick grayson#nightwing#donna troy#wonder girl#troia#wally west#kid flash#the flash#roy harper#red arrow#arsenal#tim drake#red robin#jason todd#red hood#cl anon asks#cl asks#batman dick grayson#robin dick grayson#thanks for the ask!
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masterlist
i figured it was time to make one. it's in order based on when i wrote it. please, please let me know if a link is broken/mislabeled!!
*82 fics*
All of these are Jamie Tartt x reader
dress
Jamie and Keeley buy you a dress for the benefit gala
three times 'cause i've waited my whole life
secret relationship to engagement
you're losing me
first kid
don't make this any harder
Jamie wants to take you to Brazil, you’re both idiots
would hit him in a heartbeat now
Your ex boyfriend is a footballer and also a douche
silent sleepers
Jamie contemplates your relationship on the team bus
what it is
Jamie is sick ft. Roy
don't go wasting your emotion
Secret relationship + you own a bookshop! Ft. Roy and Keeley
you know, you'll always know me
You’re a famous singer! Congrats!
i don't know how you keep smiling/i'm just choking almost constantly
Jamie’s dad is a douche
i'll still be right next to you my dear
Jamie is a dad
can't really say i'm enjoying it now
Yikes it’s a breakup fic, but happy endings only in this house
mine of you with me
Reader and Jamie go semi-public with their relationship
today's a day like any other
The Tartt family thru the years
there's orange juice in the kitchen
Oof ouch period cramps
i can't breathe without you
Nate kisses you w/o consent
damned if i do give a damn what people say
You’re a theater actress! How exciting!
island made of faith
People think Jamie’s dumb, and he’s not
take your time while you're mine
You’re Roy’s other sister ft. all the Kents
honey, i'll give you all my time
Vienna. Enough said.
feeling fragile can't you tell
Jamie gets hurt
wrote all your lines in the script in my mind
Oh no! Some girl kissed Jamie and it wasn’t you! + Colin as the bff
stick together like glitter
Babysitting Phoebe + angst
your mind is not your friend
Angst + comfort after you have a bad hookup
chasing shadows in a grocery line
You’re pretty sure you have a hot stalker
don’t go yet
Tee hee protective Jamie at a club
kicking myself to keep from crying
The morning after your mind is not your friend
i think we could do it if we tried
High school sweethearts reunited after 6 years🥺
i’m glad you exist
You and Jamie go to a wedding
send for me
BREAKING: shit day at work made better by local boyfriend
tell me where to put my love
day off = food + snuggles
bored
The longest angst I’ve ever written. Def not the best angst I’ve ever written.
would it be enough if i never gave you peace
you’ve got baby fever and your pretty sure it’s going to kill your brother
wishing on every one
You own a flower shop. It’s adorable.
lyrical eyes, indigo smile
Bea meets the team for the first time!
something to rely on
You storm the pitch and smooch your bf
flipped the script
Enemies to lovers slow burn (or maybe fast burn, idk)
i fancy you
London Boy by ms. T. Swift
you don’t want to know me
Jamie shows up at your door after s.1 Man City
you’re in the kitchen humming
Post-Mom City
family that i chose
For the child-free girlies!
never wanted you to hate me
Pt. 2 of you don’t want to know me
wonderstruck
BFF Keeley tells you to give her awful ex a chance
in love with an idea
idk it’s like a confession of love? kinda cute
sinking into your worn-out mattress
Touch-deprived therapist! reader
you’re a mansion with a view
just two footballers doing an England promo, nothing to see here
i know what i’m doing
Post-Roy/Jamie locker room hug after Man City
wonder what it’d be like
Jamie tries to win you back
if only love were true
You’re a single mom in dire need of a plus-one
i know now it’ll pass
It’s hard to love someone when you’ve been told you don’t deserve it
the way it goes
The Greyhounds are protective of Jamie
how to love being alive
Idk this one’s like whatever and also supes long
there is happiness
GEORGIE GEORGIE GEORGIE
it’s just wanderlust
Relationship soft launch
glitter on the floor
You like to knit. You also think you’re a comedian.
maybe tomorrow you’ll know
The “he’s a prick to everyone but her” trope
hustling for the good life
I swear this is my last chaptered fic
let’s fall in love for the night
Kent!reader is having a baby
soft hands hit the jagged ground
friends w/benefits
for you, there’ll be no more crying
anxiety at work + bf jamie
smile at me
there was only one bed!!!!
slow motion double vision in rose blush
happy b-day Jamie Tartt
half-moon eyes
it’s just a question!
can’t hear my thoughts (i cannot hear my thoughts)
I’m allowed to write what i want, ok???
here in my arms
more Kent!reader + a baby named George
coffee at midnight
prick coach wakes you up bc of your prick boyfriend
healing me fine
Just a lil engagement fic for ya
i don’t know anything
if you’re interested in Bea
right words at the right time
It’s a wedding fic
move fast and keep quiet
boxer!reader + smitten Jamie
not saying you’re in love with me
You meet over Bantr!!!
we could be so good
Jamie comforts you after a bad date
i hold it like a grudge
i don’t even know how to describe this one but u might cry
there for you
sick fic
before you go
physio!reader
you’ll probably date her
chronic illness + childhood friends. gotta love it
feel it burn
Gym anxiety
play it back
Old movies of bb Jamie
ours
Thanksgivinggggg
light in the hallway
MORE Kent!reader
stuck by you
Bad family + good Jamie = fic
please don’t be
five chapters of sadness that definitely isn’t based on personal experience
#jamie tartt x reader#jamie tartt fanfiction#jamie tartt x y/n#jamie tartt imagine#jamie tartt x you#jamie tartt#ted lasso#masterlist
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There's a trait that runs through every hero, regardless of if they've spent the last couple months in prison, rehab, or wrangling pyjamas onto a stubborn five-year-old: they're a workaholic.
Thank god Jason is not a hero. Roy, on the other hand, definitely is. He might be ‘inactive’ or ‘I’m just focusing on Lian right now, thanks’, but Jason has dropped by Roy's shitty apartment in Star often enough that he can confidently say Roy, no matter what, is a hero.
So he kicks him.
“Ow! What the fuck, Jaybird?” Roy glares as he brings his fingers to his lips, slurping up the bright orange liquid that’s currently coating half his sleeve.
More keeps dripping onto the floor in radioactive bursts, and the bowl is steaming. It has a chip in the side from when Jason was teaching Lian how to shoot, and Jason knows what the ceramic feels like when steam is escaping from every orifice. He had to use his Red Hood gloves to hold the damn thing last time. He had to do a lot of things, but Roy's fingers don't shake as he holds the bowl in one hand.
He kicks Jason lightly back. “You're a fucking asshole, Todd, ya know that?”
Jason's head is a slow buzz. It's a sound that he can feel spit behind his eyes, sing with sharp vowels and harsh chords. It's something that's attacking him from the inside-out, digging deep until he can feel the green of the pit flare in his throat.
“Fuck ‘ff,” he murmurs, turning his head to look anywhere but Roy. “Don't need your shit-ass soup. Don't need anythin’.”
He moves to stand, to sit, to do anything but be useless on the sofa.
Roy only needs one hand to hold Jason down, and Jason tells himself it's just this once. It's because Roy is a hero and Jason is anything but.
“Dude, you're, like, what? Two seconds from passing out my couch? Eat the damn soup.”
Jason doesn't look as the bowl is shoved in front of him. More sloshes over the sides, lapping at Roy's thumb. He needs to get his mind out of the gutter. He needs to remember why he came here in the first place.
Roy groans, deep and guttural with his head thrown back and all the muscles in his neck straining. Sometimes Jason wants to curl his fingers around the thick flesh, cord his soul into the pieces of Roy he can never get back, and take him. For real this time.
He looks at the damned fucking soup.
It's tomato or carrot, or maybe even something that has never been orange in the first place. Jason can feel the steam hitting his nose hairs but he can't smell anything. “Needs more seasoning,” he spits.
Roy sighs. The soup nips his fingers again as he plops down onto the sofa. Their thighs touch, brush, hold on tight enough to blur the lines.
“You're sick,” Roy says. He holds up a spoon. It's caked in red. “Here comes the aeroplane…”
Jason wants to punch him, and it's fine because even though Jason rescued Roy first, Jason was also the first who left. He was the first who walked away and didn't return. He was the first one who died, and then died again.
It's stupid. Roy likes to say he died too, but Jason doesn't like thinking about explosions. He can't think about anything right now anyway. His brain hurts. The words in his head buzz. A hot tip touches his lips but it's not the right kind.
“Open wide.” Roy's using his Dad voice, and it's horrifying. Jason can feel his heart in his lungs and sometimes he forgets Roy has green eyes too.
They're earthier. Grounded. They're nothing like the look Jason stares at Roy with when Lian's gone to bed and the bowl's still chipped and the dishes haven't been scrubbed but everyone is too tired to touch it.
Roy sighs. The spoon clatters into the bowl, and he sucks the soup from his thumb again. “Jay, you gotta work with me here. You're sick. Being a stubborn asshole isn't gonna change that. What're you even doing here, man? Thought you were tired.”
Jason has never said he's tired before. At least not to Roy. The voice in his head that glows green and grins acid is different. He thinks he loves the voice and also hates it. He doesn't know if it's himself or someone else.
“Shut up, Harper.” He sniffs without meaning to and promptly closes his mouth.
Roy's lips break into that sly grin that means he's going home with at least a couple numbers and a body or two hanging from his elbows. “Only if you eat the damn soup. Otherwise I'll keep going, baby. I can keep this up all night long.” He winks as if Jason doesn't know him. “You know I've got the stamina to prove it.”
Jason rolls his eyes. Kind of. It hurts and the world spins, and then Roy's whispering meaningless words into his ear. He thinks his eyes are open but then he blinks and sees the ceiling. He does a double take but his body doesn't move. The air swirls. Something pinches his hips, then his legs, and then Jason is in Roy's room and the sheets smell like his body wash.
There's another smell, something heady and unmistakably Roy. Jason's not in love because he's never been in love. He doesn't know what it looks like.
He smells soup.
A ceramic bowl clatters gently, and a duvet is tugged up to Jason's chin. The bed dips next to Jason's waist and Roy's hair is long. It isn't tied back, but it was before. With the lamp light, his eyelashes look brighter. Almost like they're glowing.
Jason's not in love because Roy could never love him. He's just not the type. He's someone who dedicates his life to one person and one person only, and Jason is nowhere near a hero.
The tip of the spoon touches his bottom lip. It's cooler.
“Open wide.”
Maybe it's because it's half-one in the morning or Jason's running a fever higher than he ever has before, or because he's only twenty-one and yet he has over half of Gotham's underground under his control. His chest clenches. Tim said Jason's going to end up with heart attacks if he keeps this going, and then Jason yelled about all the empty Red Bull cans littering Tim's floor.
Jason's only twenty-one but he's never been in love. He was, maybe, once when he was fifteen. But that was before the voice in his head was impossibly loud. He doesn't remember who it was, and they're probably gone.
He opens his mouth. Roy grins, sly and dirty. His Dad voice slips out: “Good boy.”
Jason's going to kill him. He doesn't remember why he came to Star City tonight. He doesn't remember a lot of things.
His chest tightens even more as he swallows, and maybe Tim is right. Maybe heart attacks are going to be what finally takes Jason out.
#jayroy#jason todd#roy harper#dc#redarse#soy writes#this is about romance and failures in romance and overworking and being good but never good enough#in other words: i did too much this past week bc. god. im just a fucking clown who takes on too much responsibility but i cant stop#and here i am. projecting it onto jason#also my dating life is finally kicking up again and i hate it i know this is such a privileged problem but too many people like me i need t#disappear forever#so yeah lol. fatigue fever gang lets gooooooooooo i am so fucking tired
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Will you come when I call? (will you answer when I beg?)
damn your love, damn your lies - series masterlist here
pairing: roy harper x reader (gender neutral)
length: 1.7k
genre: hurt/comfort
warnings: ex bf roy harper but they're in looove, it's kinda unspoken that they're getting back together, vague references to bad things that can happen when you're out alone at night, roy's protective best friend jason todd
a/n: wowie it's getting happier folks. also hello how are we I feel like I'm coming out of hibernation
In your defence, the infamous Red Hood lives up to his reputation enough to assure you that you made the right choice in calling him instead of Arsenal. It had been an awful phone call to make, of course - saying that you were walking home late at night you were sure something bad was going to happen. But as bad as it had been to ask for help like that, at least you knew Red Hood would come. Arsenal? That, you weren't so sure of.
Per Hood's instructions, you stand on the sidewalk under the street light, shifting foot to foot and trying not to look back at the unconscious body he'd left in the darkness there. Wait here, he'd said. I'm sure… a friend will be here to pick you up soon. Looking up at the murky night sky, the stillness that the stars can't seem to shine through, you beg whatever's out there that he isn't sending Roy.
It's hard to imagine it, the Jason you'd grown to know as Roy's best friend, the boy who smiled and helped you bring your groceries in and always tried to convince you to let him do the dishes whenever he was over for dinner with the two of you. You'd never seen Roy out and about as Arsenal, but you'd imagined it, of course - how could you not? Glancing back into the din of the alleyway, you suddenly find yourself glad that you'd always remained somewhat unaware. Then, with a stuttering step back, you wonder if you'd ever really known Roy at all. How could you, when you only had half of him to love?
It feels an awful lot like guilt, the feeling rising in your throat. Maybe you understand what he meant when he said you were never really all there, you never really let him in.
Fortunately, the revving of Jason's car is unmistakable, a sound that pulls you from whatever spiral you were heading down as he pulls up beside you, getting out of the car with a scowl on his face just so that he can stomp over and open your door for you. The say he slams it shut once you're in the car is the confirmation you need that you're in for a lecture tonight.
"What were you thinking?" Sure enough, as soon as Jason is in the driver's seat, he's taking off, speeding down the silent streets as he questions you.
"Was the costume change really necessary?" You reply, eyeing his civilian clothes. He shoots you a look.
"Couldn't exactly pick you up on the bike, could I? Hood saving a civilian in distress - sure. Telling you to hop on and giving you a ride home? That'd raise some questions." He sighs. You cross your arms and look out your window.
"I wasn't in distress," you mumble. Jason looks at you like he's never heard you say anything as stupidly petulant as that. You're not sure why - you know you've said worse.
"Why did you call me and not Roy?" He asks finally, his thumb tapping against the steering wheel as he bites his tongue, as he wills himself not to grab you by the shoulders and shake some sense into you.
"Oh please, like he would answer," you scoff. And there's that look again, like you've said something unimaginable and Jason's trying to figure out if he's having some kind of waking nightmare.
"I didn't realize you think that lowly of him," he says bitterly. You straighten, looking out the front windshield.
"I don't-"
"You do. You do if you think there'd ever be a day when you'd call and he wouldn't answer," Jason says firmly. You shift in your seat.
"It's not his job to come running every time I need saving anymore," you point out sullenly. Jason barks out a laugh. You have a feeling he doesn't really find it funny.
"You didn't let him do that even when it was his job," he says. You scowl at him.
"I appreciate you doing this tonight, Jason, but I'd love to do it without the commentary."
"That's a shame. I wouldn't," he shrugs, pulling up outside your apartment building. You sigh and rub your temples.
"Don't mention this to him, alright?" You ask.
"You're joking."
"I'm really not," you say dryly. Jason fixes you with a glare.
"Get inside safely," is all he says, and you're smart enough to know when you've hit a wall. Sighing again, mostly for show (and feeling vindicated when you see Jason's lips twitch into something that almost resembles a smile), you head inside. If you see Jason bring his phone to his ear to call someone, you pretend you don't. It might be easier that way.
Or, as it usually is, it may be a lot more difficult. By the time you're inside, tossing your phone and keys onto the side table and rubbing the back of your neck in a vain attempt to rid yourself of the tension there, there's a figure ripping your balcony door open and tumbling through into your living room.
You'd scream, surely, if you'd had even a moment to think before Arsenal is all over you, crowding you against the wall of your home with his hands cupping your face, going on about how worried he was when Jason called him.
"Roy-" you start.
"Are you ok, baby? Are you alright? He got to you in time, right? Nothing happened - I, god, please tell me nothing happened, - are you hurt, baby? Are-"
"Roy," you say again, putting your hands over his where they still cup your cheeks protectively. His mouth snaps shut, sure, but his eyes flit over your figure, again and again and again, as if to find some sort of damage that he missed the first dozen times. You stare at him, at the wild look behind his mask and the red leather that covers his chest and stretches across his thighs.
"You… look good," you say simply. He blinks, staring at you.
"What?"
"I've never seen you like this before. You look good," you clarify. It's Roy, you know - the man you lived with, shared you bed and your life with for so long. But somehow, the masked figure in front of you feels more like a stranger than you could've anticipated. Maybe knowing Roy but not Arsenal really was a mistake - maybe you really did only ever have half of him.
Arsenal sighs, pulling away from you and stepping back to sit on the arm of your couch, taking his cap off to run a hand through his hair and stare at you.
"Why didn't you call me?" He asks.
"I didn't know you'd answer." With the way he flinches at that, you suddenly wish you'd lied. Not that he wouldn't have realized. His shoulders drop, his head hanging low as he stands and makes his way back towards your balcony.
"Roy, I -" you start, the words catching in your throat. "I'm sorry." That's enough to make him freeze.
"What?"
"I was wrong."
"What?"
"Oh, fuck off," you scoff, but he doesn't miss the lack of bite in your voice. "It… probably should've been you I called tonight."
"Why didn't you?" He asks again. You think about snapping at him, about saying that you just told him and surely he can't be that stupid and-
"I don't care as much about what Jason thinks of me," is what you say instead. You're not sure who's more surprised. Arsenal steps towards you, settling back down onto the arm of the couch and reaching a hand out to you as if you'll still come when he calls. When you walk forward, standing between his parted legs and letting his hand curl around your waist, you're not sure how it all happened.
"What do you mean, sunshine?" He coaxes. You grab onto his shoulders with just a bit too much force, as if that anchor will stop you from baring your soul to him the way you should've so long ago.
"I care about what you think of me," you say simply. "I care that you think I can take care of myself… and do this on my own."
"But you don't have to, baby," he says it so softly, gentle in a way that feels new coming from him.
"Well," you clear your throat, stepping away from him and smoothing down your shirt. "I do now, anyway." He doesn't take the bait, doesn't comment on the fact that he left you, decided he couldn't put up with this anymore and walked out.
"You know I'll always come when you call," is what he says instead.
"I don't think you should have to," you reply.
"I don't mind," he says, like it's that simple. Like loving and being loved is as easy as the way he sits there, open and waiting for you.
"I don't… think I want to be alone tonight," you say slowly, carefully, like you're teetering on some sort of ledge. Roy smiles, tilting his head a bit as he looks at you.
"I'll stay the night -"
"I want you to sleep on the couch," you say abruptly. He laughs.
"I can do that sunshine. As many nights as you want."
"You'll get a bad back," you say, and there's a thickness in your voice, a dampness in your eyes that has you clenching your fists at your sides. "Your neck will hurt in the morning."
"I don't mind," Roy says again, like loving you is easy. You scoff and roll your eyes, but it's a small display amidst the haze of vulnerability that's blanketing the two of you.
Stepping forward, you reach slowly to his face, fingers beginning to peel off his mask. He lets you - and you kick yourself for being so surprised. Of course he would, always so ready to bare the layers of his soul to you. As you smooth a thumb over his now-exposed cheekbone, you wonder what other layers of his there are that he loves you enough to let you peel back. You wonder, in a way that should concern you, how many of your own layers are fraying and thinning underneath his love.
#smsn.writes#roy harper#roy harper x reader#roy harper x you#roy harper x yn#roy harper imagine#roy harper oneshot#roy harper dc#arsenal#arsenal x reader#arsenal imagine#arsenal dc
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ted lasso masterlist (requests open) <3
~ jamie tartt
be still, my foolish heart [series] - when jamie gets called up to the england team for the first time, he's terrified. enter you, all smiles and swearing, and suddenly his only fear is falling head over boots.
saved you a seat [3.1k] - jamie saves you a seat on the coach trip to amsterdam, since you've got work to do and all. no work gets done.
pain, pain go away [1.2k] - you're desperate to support jamie at the evening's award show and be the best girlfriend you can for him, but a familiar pain stops you in your tracks. [chronic pain!reader]
where is she? [1.8k] - celebrations of a richmond win are cut short when a fight breaks out in the stands and jamie realises you might be right in the middle of it.
sixth date [1.4k] - you're finally meeting jamie's friends for the first time and there's a lot of them. when one of them mentions something about him being on tv, a few things click into place.
~ roy kent
stop looking at me like that [2.5k] - roy sits himself down next to you for the journey back from amsterdam and you're completely oblivious as to why.
pick me up at seven [3.1k] - roy invites you out with the team for the evening and you're sitting with jamie tartt. fuck.
gentle hands, ankle clasps [2k] - roy joins you on the red carpet for your new movie and even though it's not his natural habitat, he'll be damned if he's not there for you when you need him.
filling an empty vase [3.4k] - yours and roy's new relationship is blessedly secret, but a trip to big tesco might just bring about some revelations.
numbing cream [2k] - roy's fucked his knee in the final game of the season, and he can't help but worry that his physio might tell him off (and that he might never see her again).
two months late [2k] - roy really should've told you how he felt about you two months ago, before he retired and left richmond in the dust. now that he's back to coach, he worries he's two months too late (spoiler: he isn't)
#ted lasso masterlist#ted lasso#roy kent x reader#jamie tartt x reader#ted lasso x reader#roy kent#jamie tartt
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༘⋆-ˋˏLyric Prank ༘⋆-ˋˏ
*In NRC's Groupchat*
Leona: @MC Brown guilty eyes and little white lies, yeah
MC: ...
Ace: 🍵
Deuce: ^
Ruggie: Prefect, what did you do?
MC: Nothing?
Leona: Yeah, I played dumb but I always knew
MC: Huh?
Leona: That you'd talk to him, maybe did even worse
Leona: I kept quiet so I could keep you
MC: ...
MC: Nah, guys. This isn't Leona. He wouldn't say shit like this.
Ruggie: ROFL 🤣
Leona: And ain't it funny
Leona: How you ran to him
Leona: The second that we called it quits?
Ace: YOU TWO BROKE UP?!!
Deuce: 😲
MC: ...
MC: We're not even in a relationship.
MC: Right?
Ruggie: Shishishi why are you asking us?
Leona: And ain't it funny
Leona: How you said you were friends?
Leona: Now it sure as hell don't look like it
Ace: Yeah. Like I don't believe MC either whenever they said they're only friends with Malleus. 🙄
MC: Wha—
Malleus: Why are you bullying the child of man?
Ace: Here comes the savior.
Malleus: ???
Leona: You betrayed me
Leona: And I know that you'll never feel sorry
Leona: For the way I hurt, yeah
Leona: You'd talk to him
Leona: When we were together
Leona: Loved you at your worst
Leona: But that didn't matter
MC: I'm
MC: In
MC: Confusion 😵💫
Ace: 🤥
Malleus: I should be the one feeling that way, Kingscholar.
MC: 😭 What?
Ace: Yeah! You're a manizer!
MC: 🧍
Ruggie: 🤣🤣🤣
Deuce: 😂😂😂
Leona: It took you two weeks
Leona: To go off and date him
Leona: Guess you didn't cheat
Leona: But you're still a traitor
Ace: See? SEE?!!
Ace: THIS IS WHAT I'M TELLING YOU!
Ace: SETTLE
Ace: WITH
Ace: ONE!
MC: You never tell me anything the fuck?
Malleus: It seems like a good advice, child of man.
MC: 😞
Leona: Now you bring him around
Leona: Just to shut me down
Leona: Show him off like he's a new trophy
Ace: @Vil
Vil: Why did you @ me, potato 1?
Malleus: Hello, Schoenheit. Is the child of man showing you off to everyone?
Vil: Hm?
Vil: ...
Vil: They didn't need to.
Vil: I'm the fairest of all.
MC: 👑
Vil: Anyway, what is this drama, Leona?
Leona: And I know if you were true
Leona: There's no damn way that you
Leona: Could fall in love with somebody that quickly
Ace: 🧢
Deuce: 🧢
Ruggie: 🧢
Epel: 🧢
MC: You guys—
Epel: You're playing Mystic Messenger.
Epel: That's enough proof.
Idia: ROFL YOU PLAYING THAT?
MC: ...
Malleus: What does 🧢 mean?
Ace: Lies.
Malleus: Oh. Then. This is for you, child of man.
Malleus: 🧢
MC: ...
MC: 😠
Leona: Ain't it funny
Leona: All the twisted games
Leona: All the questions you used to avoid?
Leona: Ain't it funny?
Leona: Remember I brought him up
Leona: And you told me I was paranoid
Ruggie: @MC you had a death wish?
MC: 🧍
MC: No?
Vil: Potato? You said that to him?
MC: No!
Leona: You betrayed me
And I know that you'll never feel sorry
For the way I hurt, yeah
You'd talk to him
When we were together
Loved you at your worst
But that didn't matter
It took you two weeks
To go off and date him
Guess you didn't cheat
But you're still a traitor
MC: ...
MC: Leona, seriously, what did I do? 🥹
Leona: God, I wish that you had thought this through
Leona: Before I went and fell in love with you
MC: ...
Rook: Le gasp!
Vil: Rook?
Rook: Roi du Leon! What a way to confess your feelings!
Leona: Tch.
Ace: That's a confession?
Deuce: But you're acting like MC already cheated on you
Leona: Don't they?
Leona: They like many guys
MC: I'm in a school full of handsome and precious men
MC: What do you want me to do? 😭
Vil: And there's nothing wrong with that, potato, as long as you're not seducing them
Ruggie: But Leona wants to be seduced
MC: 🧍
MC: ...
MC: You could've said so?
Ace: Yo! Manizer!
Vil: What?
Malleus: ^
Leona: I'm done here.
*Leona went offline.*
MC: I swear @Ace, if someone calls me "manizer", say 👋 to your freedom
Idia: Lololololol
Idia: Manizer.
MC: ...
MC: ACE.
Ace: It's not my fault!
Deuce: 🤣🤣🤣
Ruggie: 🤣🤣🤣
Epel: 🤣🤣🤣
Vil: 😮💨
Rook: ☺️
Malleus: Kingscholar should know how to confess properly.
Idia: Breakup thoughts >
MC: 💀
#twisted wonderland#twst mc#twst leona#twst ace#twst deuce#twst epel#twst ruggie#twst malleus#twst vil#twst rook#twst idia
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He would rather do this over immediately asking Bruce for money
Jason: This is bothering me.
Roy: Well, you are digging up a corpse that must feel ironic.
Jason: No, not that. This is, uh, pretty par for the course, actually. I'm bothered with the fact I have to dig up this man's grave to find a damn ring for a crazy old woman so that I can get money to fix my fucking bike!
Roy: Right... and why won't you ask your dad for the money again?
Jason (stammering): I... I don't want to look needy. I'm an adult!
Roy (sarcastically): Right, totally get that. That's tragic. bro. I once sold my gold filled teeth to get heroin so we definitely are on the same struggle bus.
Jason (angry): I. Died! You did not, so shut up!
Roy: All right, dude. Tone it down, I came here to help. I can leave.
Jason: Not helping if you're not digging! Help me dig!
Roy (smiling): Mm... Nah.
Jason (annoyed): Why not?
Roy: Because I just noticed we're digging at the wrong grave and the person we're looking for is next to this one.
Jason stops digging and sticks the shovel into the ground. He stood there for a moment with his head down.
Jason: It was the tomb stone... made of blue stained glass... not concrete... Excuse me for a moment.
Jason covered his face and let out a muffled curse word scream. Roy covered his mouth trying not to laugh. Jason stuck the shovel into the ground five times in rage.
Jason: I need that money and you do too. Roy... do you mind digging over there for a start while I try to calm myself down.
Roy: On it chief.
Jason: Sat on that information for how long?
Roy (starting to dig): It was twenty minutes.
Jason: I want to hit you with this shovel so badly right now.
Roy: Then you'd be alone and looking stupid.
Roy laughed while digging as Jason collected his barrings and stepped out the hole to fill it back in with dirt.
#jason todd#roy harper#batbros#batfamily#jason and roy#don't you hate it when you're grave robbing the wrong grave?#dc comics#batfamily chronicles#batfamily shenanigans#roy harper and jason todd#jason todd and roy harper#roy haper and jason todd#batfamily are the best family#batfamily ao3#batfamily fanfiction#i love their dynamic#i love their friendship#i love these stupid stupid boys#batfamily comedy#batfamily funny#dc red hood#red hood#red hood and the outlaws#dc headcanon#roy harper arsenal#arsenal and red hood#microfiction#flash fiction#batman#headcanon batfamily
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“Because you miss your kids? But you said you’re seeing them on Saturday,” says Joël. Roy slumps forward, his elbows on his knees and his fingers knotted together.
“Staying in the marital home and spending all that time with them while Sonia was in The Oaks was one of the best times of my life, dude,” he says. “Seeing them at breakfast, helping them with their homework after school, tucking them into bed…every second was pure gold. And I’ve gone from that to only seeing them once a week. Excuse my language Alice, but it really sucks. I don’t dwell on it in case I have another panic attack or some shit, but my mind's going in all directions right now because that kid showing off on that ride really reminds me of Henrietta. She's all like 'Hey, look at me, losers!' That’s Henrietta, one hundred percent. She's like my mini-me."
Alice is squirming in Joël’s lap. He gets to his feet and swings her around, grateful for the diversion. Roy is quiet, melancholy trapped in his pores like stale cologne. Not even Alice's shrieks of delight can bring a smile to his face. Joël stops spinning and stands in front of him, shifting his weight.
"Cheer up, dude. You've got your trip to Paris with Anya coming up," he says. "That's something to look forward to, right? I mean, things could be a hell of a lot worse. You're pretty damn blessed, when you think about it."
“Yeah,” says Roy. "I just have to keep reminding myself. You can have an ex-wife, but you can never have ex-children.“
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