#roy would find damian hilarious

[mysterycitrus]

jason-tinted glasses blinding people to the truth: all the teen titans have non-dick favorites of the batfam and NONE of those are jason todd. i think roy would actually probs like steph or damian best if were being SO fr

i think we as a society should have to reconcile with the fact that the majority of the titans favourite non-dick bat is tim drake

[lacrimosathedark]

Bat-Family Nicknames and Insults

So I went off the other day because fans keep having people who aren't Roy Harper call Jason Todd "Jaybird" and now I'm thinking about all the other nickname misconceptions so here's a probably non-comprehensive list of nicknames among the Bat Fam.

(Special thanks to @sohotthateveryonedied for a bunch of my data, she made a whole powerpoint with actual comic panels! Go check that out! Also got some info from @kiragecko who was writing some lists with more specific references.)

This list is an active document and will be edited in the event I find more nicknames or have more to say

Addendum note: I'm more than willing to add something I forgot, but you must have receipts. I'm not just going off of memory. Nothing will be added to this list without proof. If you don't have a source, please don't make a suggestion.

This is aside from assorted common insults and nicknames like jerk, ass, shorty, dude, idiot, etc.. Sidenote, every not-Steph Robin has been called “Little Bird”, “Birdboy” and/or “Wonder Boy” at some point. It’s kinda part of the job lol Secondary side-note, the only ones who REALLY use nicknames for people are Barbara and Jason. And Tim specifically in reference to Damian. Everyone else pretty much uses their names 98% of the time. Final note (sorryyyyyy) generally unless they're funny to me, I'm not including things used only once unless I have gotten vibes that it's a trend. This is an attempt to compile recurring nicknames. So ones noted to be used once are either I can only confirm it happened once but could happen multiple times, or I think it's hilarious.

Alfred Pennyworth

Al/Alf Seems to be a common nickname among the boys.

Alfie Dick, Tim, and Jason have all called him this.

Alfredo Jason called him this at least once and I think that’s funny. Not sure it’s exclusive though.

Mom Dick seems to have referred to him as such once…I’m sorry but that’s so funny.

Alfred also has specific ways of referring to everyone: Bruce: Master Bruce, Mister Wayne, Lad, Bruce, My Son Barbara: Mistress Barbara, Miss Barbara, Miss Gordon, Miss Oracle Dick: Master Dick, Master Richard, Master Grayson, Dear Boy, Young Sir, Young Man, Richard, Dick Cassandra: Miss Cassandra, Young Cassandra, My Dear Jason: Master Jason, Young Sir, Lad, Jason Tim: Master Tim, Master Timothy, Young Master Tim, Lad, Young Sir, Young Man, Timothy, Tim Damian: Master Damian, Young Master Damian, Young Sir, Young Man, Son, Damian

Bruce Wayne

Spooky Oliver Queen calls him this, others might as well but I legitimately have no idea.

Batsy Everyone and their goddamn dog, but Joker uses this notably a lot.

Detective RA'S AL GHUL EXCLUSIVE. I think? But this is how Ra's generally refers to Bruce.

B-Man HARLEY QUINN EXCLUSIVE...I think. She calls him this a lot though.

While Dick and Jason will internally think of Bruce as their father, Dick rarely says so and extremely rarely calls him “Dad”. Jason would only say so mockingly or under pain of a second death. Tim rarely even thinks of Bruce as his father (he didn’t become Robin to be Bruce’s kid, and he doesn’t want to replace his own father—much the same way Dana didn’t replace Janet) and never refers to him as such outside of WE work (where he very much uses that to his advantage). Damian almost exclusively refers to Bruce as “Father” but has called him "Dad". Steph sometimes calls him “Boss”. Everyone usually calls him "Bruce".

He refers to ALL of the boys as “chum” and “lad” at some point. It’s just how he used to talk honestly. He DOES NOT call them “sweetie” or “honey” or anything like that. He DOES, however, speak to small children this way. There are multiple instances of him using "sweetheart" and similar terms when dealing with young children. This differentiation I think is for two reasons. One, Bruce is emotionally stunted and being open with anyone outside of actively comforting is difficult for him, and two, the youngest child he has ever had himself was 9 years old so he's never had a small child he'd be likely more inclined to be extra super soft with.

Barbara Gordon

Babs Most people call her this. Bruce doesn’t seem to though, oddly enough.

Babsy/Babsie Both Dick and Jim Gordon have called her this. Very cute.

Barb/Barbie Nearly exclusive to Jason Todd, actually. I think her dad calls her this once in a while, but specifically Jason calls her this.

Babes A few of her friends call her this, but mostly Luke Fox when they were dating.

Red A few people call her this, but mostly Jason and not real often. Probably cuz we already have a red-head often referred to as “Red” (Pam Isely by Harley) and as to not be confused with the other two Reds in the family (Red Hood and Red Robin).

The High Priestess of Tech More of a reference than a nickname, but I think it’s funny. Dick referred to her as such.

O For Oracle!

Dick Grayson Exclusives because Boyfriend Baby Love Beautiful

Richard Grayson

Dick Everyone calls him this. Almost no one calls him Richard.

Dickie His parents also called him this, along with other people who knew him from Haly’s Circus, but otherwise it’s mostly just Jason.

Dickster I…hate that this is canon lmao. Dick has thought this one in his inner monologue, but Jason has also said it at least once. It’s…Something.

Circus Boy Common insult, Jason uses it a few times.

Tight Ass No comment.

Rob Kinda rare for him and more a Tim thing, but his Titans team call him this sometimes. I specifically remember Wally doing so, and Roy too I think.

Boy Wonderful Not marking this as exclusive because Babs probably used it at one point but, shockingly (or not) this comes from Wally West! Wally has also called his Titans team as a group “Dear Hearts” at least once which is just so fucking cute. Neeeeeerd.

Kid Not exclusive to him, but consistently called this by Slade Wilson/Deathstroke over most anything else.

Marcia TIM DRAKE EXCLUSIVE. A joke between him and Tim, assigning each Bat-boy a Brady Bunch member.

Little Robin MARY GRAYSON EXCLUSIVE. This is where the hero name Robin came from; Dick’s mom used to call him this.

Dickie-Bird JASON TODD EXCLUSIVE. Jason calls Dick this a lot during his weird appearances in Nightwing that I pretend never happened because it was weird and dumb. But it is a canonical nickname. And it’s funny.

Amy Rohrbach Exclusives because Partner Rookie Stud Cowboy Sherlock Mr. Confident

Barbara Gordon Exclusives because Girlfriend (and because she’s funny) Flatterer Boyfriend The Brightest, Sweetest, Most Handsome, Wealthiest Young Bachelor on the Entire East Coast Buckaroo Bucko Candy-Gram Darling Lover Love Hunk Wonder Man Wonder Hound Wonder Former Teen Wonder Twenty Something Wonder Blue Wonder Poor Lovable Naïve Dope Pixie Boots

Cassandra Cain

Cass Pretty much everyone calls her this.

Cassie Some people call her this, specifically the people closest to her; Stephanie, Tim, Barbara, Bruce, and Duke. It’s generally used sparingly, especially considering Tim is close to ANOTHER Cassandra who goes by “Cassie” almost exclusively, so Cass is generally preferred to avoid confusion. But Cassie is tossed around.

Batghoul Possibly Stephanie Brown exclusive, though easy enough that I wouldn’t be surprised if others called her that. She is notoriously spooky.

Bat-Babe KON-EL/CONNER KENT EXCLUSIVE. These two are actually good friends and dated for a short time. They’re very cute. And they met at the time Kon was just…Like That.

Jason Todd

Jay Literally everyone calls him this sometimes. It’s a common nickname.

Jace/Jase Also pretty common, but seems to mostly be among family. Dick and Bruce have at least both called him this.

The Toddster Was called such by Danny Chase, implying they were friends somehow? (Jason didn't have many Titans missions so idk how they were close enough for him to call him that). He calls him that when he discovers Jason’s status in the system is “unknown”, leading him to find out he’s dead.

Rojo Referred to himself as this once while he was still a crime boss, so presumably some of his gang called him this too. Obviously Spanish for red because Red Hood.

Little Bird Possibly exclusive to Barbara Gordon, she called him this in a flashback.

Jan That Dick and Tim Brady Bunch joke. Just imagine one of them looking Jason dead in the eye and saying “Sure, Jan.”

Little Wing DICK GRAYSON EXCLUSIVE. Called Robin Jason this in Nightwing Year 1 and it’s very cute.

Jaybird ROY HARPER EXCLUSIVE. The reason I’m making this post because no one seems to remember that Roy and only Roy has ever called Jason this. But any time these two appear together, it’s usually said at least once.

Stephanie Brown

Steph Pretty much everyone calls her this at one point.

Stephie A few people if I recall, but I know Tim’s called her that.

Blondie Pretty sure a few people call her this, but notably Harper Row.

Damian Wayne Exclusives because He Was A Brat Wench Fatgirl Girl Blunder

Timothy Drake

Tim Everyone to the point where it’s just his name.

Timmy A lot of people call him this pretty teasingly. Dick, Jason, and Babs do it consistently, but that’s older siblings for ya. Bernard has done it too.

Timbo Dick and Jason as well as his friend Ives have called Tim this at the very least. Tim notably doesn't seem to like it, though he has used it himself in a derogatory way in his inner monologue.

Timbers I’ve only ever seen Jason call him this, but I could be missing things. Would not be surprised if Dick did too, but it’s very Jason.

Rob Most of Young Justice called him that up until he revealed his name (which took a while because Bruce was being controlling and overprotective, as he does). Short for “Robin”, obviously, which is all they knew him as.

My Robin I’m pretty sure each member of Young Justice has said this about Tim, though Conner does it the most and has the biggest negative reaction to literally anyone but Tim being Robin.

Cindy DICK GRAYSON EXCLUSIVE. It’s that Brady Bunch joke again!

Little Brother DICK GRAYSON EXCLUSIVE. I didn't originally include it because it had the same vibes as like "dude" or "jerk"; something that's easily tossed around, y'know? And it feels like a descriptor, but it is actually used as a title/nickname several times, especially when Dick is messing with Tim.

Pretender JASON TODD EXCLUSIVE. Though it should be noted, he only directly called him this one time. Aside from that, he more refers to Tim as A pretender, not as like a nickname or title. It’s a description. (like “replacement” was but fandom made that a nickname yes I am in fact bitter)

Duckboy HARLEY QUINN EXCLUSIVE. She says this once, but it’s hilarious so I’m keeping it.

Detective RA’S AL GHUL EXCLUSIVE. Ra’s is very particular about titles. The only other person he refers to as “Detective” is Bruce, and Dick one time in his internal monologue, so he is acknowledging Tim’s competence. And then proceeds to get a large portion of his resources obliterated by Tim <3

Stephanie Brown Exclusives because Girlfriend Sweetie Muffin Boy Virgin

Duke Thomas

Narrows Almost Jason exclusively, though I think Harper has called him this once or twice. In reference to the neighborhood he grew up in, as opposed to Jason and Harper's Park Row aka Crime Alley upbringing.

Newbie Jason calls him this frequently, though it's likely the others have too.

Baby Bird ELAINE THOMAS EXCLUSIVE. Yeah, surprisingly Duke is actually called this by his mom.

Damian Wayne

Gremlin Mostly exclusive to Tim, but Jason has called him this too. This also seems to be Tim’s go-to for Damian when not using his name or codename.

Dami Used by Jon Kent and Talia al Ghul, so presumably those closest to him.

Little D I think Barbara Gordon exclusive but I’m not sure.

Cousin Oliver Not said to his face to my knowledge, but the Brady Bunch in-joke between Dick and Tim.

Prince/Your Highness (other royal variations) A common way to mock Damian for his haughty air and stuck-up attitude. More common in the past because Damian was The Worst and never shut up about being the heir to Batman and the Demon's Head. He's grown a lot since then and this kind of joke is used less. He is still pretty snooty though.

D JON KENT EXCLUSIVE. I have yet to see anyone else call him this at least, and this is how Jon almost always refers to him.

Baby Bird TALIA AL GHUL EXCLUSIVE. I’ve seen her call him this once, and I don’t recall ever seeing anyone else call him this. Just wanted it known that Talia is the only one to call Damian this.

Tim Drake Exclusives because Tim is Petty and Damian was a Brat Little Monster Hobbit Homunculus Little snot Spoiled, vicious and homicidal little punk Heir to the Kingdom of the Damned

Note on how Damian refers to others: Damian usually uses full first names or surnames, depending on circumstance and closeness. He occasionally calls Dick “Dick” or “Richard”, but often calls him “Grayson”. He almost always refers to Tim as “Drake”, but occasionally as “Timothy”.

Fanon names that I dislike

Replacement Jason never once calls Tim this, and refers to Tim as A replacement about as much as Dick did about Jason (Yes Dick has at least once when talking to Bruce referred to Jason as his replacement). How common it is in this fandom to call Tim "Replacement" (with a capital R like it's a name or title!!!) drives me absolutely insane. It's not canon and tbh you can do better. Hell, "pretender" is right there! And Jason's a nerd, he would do better.

Baby Bird Like…it’s cute, but given it’s used in fanon almost exclusively for Tim, and POST DAMIAN, it just feels infantalizing. Especially when the only canon uses are mothers towards their kids. I see this a lot with Dick and Jason using it, which is...just no. Like, Dick, I get it, but he's more likely to call Tim "Little Brother". Jason would never allow himself to be seen as this soft to Tim. If he were trying to be gentle with him, he'd probably call him "kid". He's done that before.

Baby Bat(s) I have seen this used literally twice. Once where a goon mockingly called Tim that, and once in an AU where Harley said it to Damian. "Baby Bat" isn't a thing. Sorry.

Big Bird More amusing than anything but a little annoying. No one ever calls Dick that in canon and whenever I read it all I can think of is Sesame Street so unless a giant yellow muppet bird is what you're going for, maybe don't do that lol

Demon Brat/Demon Spawn Not the most egregious thing, especially considering the numerous nicknames Tim comes up with, but the consistency of its usage in fanon is a little frustrating. This is never used in-canon, and if you want to use it in your fanworks, just maybe intersperse it with other more creative nicknames, yeah? It's just unoriginal at this point.

Jaylad I don’t hate this one, but it’s such a huge misconception that it’s canon. Bruce has said “Jay, lad” a couple times because he calls like every boy he meets “lad” and people made up “Jaylad”. Not the worst thing ever, but it's not canon.

Golden Boy I don't actually have a problem with this one, but I may as well clear up that this is canon as a descriptor but not as a nickname for Dick. Like calling Jason "the dead Robin". Like, people have said that about him in-canon, but they haven't called him that. The common derivative "Goldie" is entirely fanon.

Non-canon nicknames I think are funny

Dick-face/Dickhead I’m sorry, I find it hilarious whenever someone (usually Jason) in fanfic calls him this. It’s also to me just a silly exaggeration of the obvious joke that has been made at least once (but probably several times by now) in canon about someone being about to call Nightwing a dick and someone else reminding them not to use names in the field. I think it’s hilarious.

Timberly I can’t tell you why this specific deviation of Tim is funny to me but it is. And I'm surprised I haven't seen Jason call Tim this in canon.

[rosemarydisaster]

Based on this idea I think it would be hilarious for a younger Tim to have a crush on Roy (he's a really hot dilf and you can't tell me Tim didn't read self insert Justice League FICS on AO3).

So he notices that Roy first dated Dick, then Jason and he can see a pattern ("two instances aren't a pattern Tim" "shut up Steph"). It's that classic "little brother has a crush on the older sibling's cool friend" but we're talking Tim Drake, so he's gonna be extra silly.

He tries casually to break Jason and Roy up multiple times or finds an excuse to hang out with them. At first, Jason is ready to push him off a window and Roy thinks it's adorable if a bit misguided (that's a whole ass child), but soon enough it escalates to Roy hiding from Tim any time he's in the vicinity.

It's nothing particularly bad, but it's really ackward and Oh, God please just let the crush pass already. Tim is nothing if not persistent. He's also an easily distracted kid, but anytime his current crush stops giving him serotonin he remembers Roy and it's ackward all over again.

Dick and Jason find Roy's suffering hilarious (Dick considers it karma for dating his little brother). Their amusement differs though, Dick thinks Tim is adorable and Jason thinks he's extremely annoying but entertaining. Yes, sneaking around your very determined stalker isn't worth it but at least he can see Roy squirming (he's not truly uncomfortable, he just doesn't know how to let him down gently anymore and th kid has such a sad face already).

It eventually fades out (read: Tim gets into a committed relationship and his partner is his new forever hiperfixation), and Roy is finally free. Looking back, it was hilarious, but he's not willing to go through that again thank you very much.

So, when Damian challenges him to an archery contest, Roy doesn't even answer he just books it so fast Wally would be jealous. Damian is very confused (he actually just really likes archery and doesn't have a proper rival in the family since Huntress is out with the Birds right now). Dick and Jason are just laughing their asses off on the floor.

[humblefryingpan]

Au where Bruce doesn't adopt Jason (because it never crosses his mind) but, after getting away with stealing Batman's tires and hitting him with a tire iron, Jason comes to the conclusion that B ain't shit and he can absolutely do more petty theft and mild inconveniences.

Batmobile is left unattended? The tires are gone. Batman drops a batarang/grapple gun? That's Jason's now. Batman tries to talk Jason into giving his stuff back? He clearly doesn't have them, you're crazy Bruce (the collection is visibly right behind him, he is literally holding a batarang as he says this).

Bruce tried to complain about it to Dick but he laughed so hard, he gave up. Dick thinks Jason is hilarious and after making sure he isn't dangerous helps him get into the manor. (Alfred won't say it out loud but he also clearly finds the kid funny so he let it happen)

Bruce eventually has a thought of "oh He's just looking for a family! I should adopt him!" And asks Jason if he wants to be officially adopted. Jay laughs in his face and throws a pillow at him. Bruce realises he was wrong.

He doesn't die, just goes out of town for a month or two to visit a friend and B immediately goes "all of my stuff is here wtf where'd Jay go?" and after looking around gotham he comes to the conclusion that he's dead. He tells Dick and Alfred that Jason died in an 'I'm absolutely certain' way so they assumed he double checked and didn't just overreact to a few weeks of absence.

Everyone was shocked next time he came to the manor (including Jason because he didn't think they'd care that much and didn't realize that B would assume he was dead) and it's just

"Jason?!? I thought you died!?"

"I was literally just at Roy's house?? Did you not think to check before assuming I died???"

Everyone is incredibly happy, Jason is just confused (and kind of flattered)

The other kids still show up, Tim came over to be B's fill in for Jason like a week before he came back and became a hero a few months after Jay came back. (They don't fight in this au because Jay didn't consider himself Bruce's son and neither of them were robin)

Damian is very concerned about the random dude that drops in and out of the manor (stealing random shit every time, from mugs and snacks to an entire TV) but B and Dick just go "nah he's basically family dw" like no that's our random theif.

Do you see my vision? I've been thinking about it for like an hour and finally decided to just post it. If this is a thing or if someone writes a fanfic or smth pls show me

[damianwaynerocks]

back on my batfamily true crime bs

bruce and jason get into a huge argument. a massive one that ends in jason being barred from going on patrol with them. so what does he do? silly revenge.

jason todd starts an anonymous true crime podcast called that’s just called “todd tales.” it’s an investigative podcast about the death of jason todd.

since he’s legally dead & decides to be an anonymous podcaster, he goes full in. talks about his upbringing, saying things like “i spoke to one of jason’s old neighbor’s and this is what she has to say”

and the “neighbor” is stephanie who thinks it’s hilarious and goes along with it. “he and his mom’s boyfriends always got into fights,” she says with a british accent, “and one time i heard him & his dad yelling at each other, and then there was a loud crash. i walked out and his dad was at the bottom of the stairs.”

which leads jason to speculate that jason todd killed him, calling him “a badass motherfucker no wonder bruce wayne was in such awe of him”

and then as the episodes progress he talks about the theory that “jason todd secretly became robin but because he was so smart and cool bruce wayne had no idea that he was fighting with batman”

he has theories that he “investigates.” he goes over the official story- that jason was traveling with bruce, got kidnapped and held for ransom but something went wrong & he was accidentally killed - and then he says “but that’s fucking bullshit *laughs* as thought bruce wayne couldn’t pay a ransom”

his next theory is the truth, that he was robin & got murdered by a villain. he has two guests to prove it.

“im alvin draper, bruce’s former assistant,” tim (who is mad at bruce for making him go on a patrol on bernard’s birthday) says with a voice modular, “and i remember, after jason died, bruce ordered me to call the mortician who did the autopsy and tell him that bruce was offering him $1,000,000 to get out of gotham & sign a non-disclosure form to never speak about jason.”

jason then gets an “autopsy tech” who helped with the autopsy, the tech that bruce supposedly didn’t know was in the room because “bruce wayne is fucking stupid”.

“of course, the truth needs to be out there,” roy says dramatically. “no way he was accidentally shot like the official story says. he had several broken bones, obvious signs of blunt force trauma, and several burn scars, but absolutely no bullet holes.”

he gets hate comments about how he shouldn’t be talking about a dead teenager, but he doesn’t stop. (jason secretly loves it because it makes him feel like he hasn’t been forgotten) (but also he finds it hilarious bc they have no idea)

and bruce is furious. he knows it’s jason. he makes an official statement saying that the podcast is horrible and disrespectful. dick makes one too, saying that he can’t believe someone would do this about his little brother.

bruce, dick & damian hound jason to stop it. bruce yells at him, dick is trying to be nice because ���i understand, but-“ and damian is like “i know i’ve given up murder but you’re considered dead anyways so therefore it does not count”

then alfred tells him, sternly, “master jason, please stop.” and jason feels so bad, so small because, like, it’s alfred, and deletes the podcast after the final episode.

but he’s still not allowed back on patrol.

[brothebro]

Any dp/dc fic recs?

of course! Honestly, i love so many of them and I'll try to include as many as i can in my list here! The Undead Lockpicking series by Milaley: In which Danny has a lockpicking youtube channel and he lockpicks the Watchtower. Hilarious, excellent 10/10

The Bat Trap by Threee: Honestly a good ol twin switcheroo with many funny moments but also a lot of delicious angst! (a Damian & Danny twins au) Just, chef's kiss!

GLXY:PSSNGR by socraticat: Danny takes the place of his alternate universe self who lives with vlad in Gotham after vlad killed his parents. Muchas angst, lots of worldbuilding and fantastic action!

A second life by Die_Erlkonigin6083:Kid Danny who has memories from a past life and currently is Dick Grayson's clone baby (and a bunch of others but mostly Dick's) Adorable 100/10 recommend>

lex luthor's ascent from supervillainy to fatherhood by halfagone (milkywxy): Epic. Dad!Lex and and dimensional travel son!Danny. Sweet and super well-executed Cass/Danny. 10/10 i need to catch up with the latest chappies but it's so freaking good I am aaaaaa

Rooftop Express by EmeraldsAndAmethyst: Danny/Jason. Awesome af. Crime lord Jason ftw! Danny is a (supernatural)delivery boy and professional enigma in Gotham

Our Empty Graves by suomifae: Hazmat Suit, no one knows au! Danny/Jason in which Danny finds himself helping out in Jason's gang. Very cool story building, ideas and execution. Im literally screaming in every chapter. so so good!

bloodlines by halfagone (milkywxy): Danny is Diana's and Bruce's son. He of course doesn't know that. There's a prophesy involved that says Danny will end the world, Diana finds out accidentally about it and finds out she has a son (memory wipe shenanigans) and GOSH. There's so much awesome stuff happening and it's a pleasure to see them piece together the facts. 10/10 Diana rocks

Summons by DizzlyPuzzled: Ghost king Danny in which because he's underage his father gets summoned in his stead. Bruce would very much like to know why he keeps getting yote through summoning circles. Just the right amount of funny, family fluff and angst.

If You Give a Bat a Burger by Cielle_Noire: BOI I HAVE NO WORDS. the plot in this is thiccc and juicy and delicious and the mystery is the cherry on top! Danny lives in Gotham, does some ghostly sigil stuff around to protect Gothamites from bad ghosts, it backfires, we don't know why. Red duck candles are involved. The Batkids are chaos. and im here eating popcorn because it's all super entertaining to watch unfold. 100/10 jessica's duck candle

Friendly neighborhood vigilante by Elizabehta_Beilschmidt: Jazz/Jason THE FIC. honestly one of the best Anger Management fics i've ever read. Love the way Communication between partners is portrayed here and how they overcome the hurdles despite the shitshow that is both their lives (affectionate). 10/10 would read again

Danny Fenton: Dead and Loving It by HyperKid: You need an ao3 account for this one, go go go go make one because it's super worth it! Jason/Danny. They meet at the graveyard, your honour! They actively mess with Bruce and the rest of the Batkids! Gala Shenanigans! What else can i say? Go read!

Worm Off the String by TourettesDog: I am licherally dying of laughter. Peak comedy. Danny/Tim ft little baby man Danny who Tim thinks is Danny's weird af pet. Honestly, so GOOD. 100/10 comedy gold.

Press Heart to Subscribe by Die_Erlkonigin6083: A Danny/Damian fic in which Danny is a streamer and Damian watches his stream. Super cute, well executed, 100/10 sweetness scale

Imprint by Hashtag_DriveBy: Babes i dunno what to tell you. I've done fanart of this fic. De-aged baby Danny and DadHood. Human-ish Fright Knight and Excellent friend Roy. Guys seriously. SO SO SO SO GOOD. 100/10 I wanna see the kid reveal to the batfam and am vibrating out of existence imagining scenarios. - There are more but I can't possibly list them all in one go, I'll make another fic rec list later 💙

[dormarunt]

Berlin, episode 1 - a spoiler-filled live reaction/commentary 

Spoilers ahoy under the cut!

Our man wears a turtleneck from the get-go, which I find hilarious.

"This is my team - one of the three I've robbed with in my life - but this one is special to me as it's from my golden age". Maybe season 2 - if it exists - will focus on that other team? Or? The other 2 teams are The Cormorants and the Mint gangs? What do you guys think?

Also this is set before Berlin knew of his Helmers Myopathy (lol I took Liberties in my latest fic, I won't let something like canon change that)

Roi sees him as the father he never had, while Berlin sees Roi as "a loyal dog he walks every day" -- right, I'm totally going to write these two, and not just because Roi calls him "sir" and shines his shoes.

Damien is a Professor but for real.

During the first heist we see of the gang, a random guest clocks the team as "not police " in about a minute, seemingly based on Keyla's glasses/fidgeting -- okay I guess?? Make that conflict, Pina & Co!

Also iirc Berlin pulls out a bag to put the stolen artifact out of his ass thin air. 

Losing my mind at the smashed phone bit though, the panto is chef's kiss. (points pinky)

Berlin has TERRIBLE gun etiquette/safety OMG???

"Love doesn't last", says the three-times-divorcee. Believe him, before he marries two more times and unhinges his jaw to eat his beat friend's face. 

"What name did you choose?" "Cameron" -- the old gang's names are also chosen.

Pedro Alonso learned French for this okay? And he did a fine job ngl, much better than his Danish of S5.

Keyla is (at least partially) a plot device/Deus Ex literal Machina with her generating 650 pages of content about their made-up archeological gang ---- hopefully priest dude doesn't know how to double check stuff like awards because then Keyla would have to ~hack loads of sites/databases okay I'll stop but seriously 

He calls himself Berlin already. How or why? Unclear yet. 

Based on the iPod shuffle that Keyla's wearing the series takes place after 2010-2012 (so before he met Martin according to the little timeline I made a while ago)

The Berlin-Roi talk about a particular woman (Cameron) gives me Berlin-RIO (heheh) talk about Tokio

Oh no tell the guy who lusts over a girl to act as her dad instead - that's going to go WELL

The door hacking (Panasonic) device with Matrix-style flowing numbers and letters is PRIMO and not hilarious at all. (Rafael's hacking device was marginally more believable)

Three home invaders vs one angry little pup - I'm in the pup's corner!

Not a huge fan of Cameron just yet, she gives me Tokio vibes and not in a good way. She IS hot though. 

Come on Cameron, when a guy says not to touch his ass you don't take it personally?? Girl, that's not cute irl. If you wanna help him open that lock, warn him. Touching people without their consent is No Bueno. I get that she's supposed to be mentally ill but bit a creep?

Berlin is possibly an insomniac. He's not changed from the Berlin I know and love in that he feels that: 1) he's in any position to give advice, let alone about love 2) he knows all about love his experiences are universal 

(I trust Damian's take on love and kinda agree with him)

OMG THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED!!! --- and Berlin said "ew no?"

Oh Jesus Christ we were spared from another poop particle conversation but just barely (since when is the guy who fucks in stench-filled basements all squeamish?)

Period-inappropriate Imagine Dragons cover

That's why I started learning the guitar in high school, this scene right here, to have someone look at me with that wonder in their eyes. (all the boys learned to play guitar to pick up girls, years later I figured out that so did I lol)

The sights in this episode are beautiful though! <3

Berlin's philosophy on courting women is, according to my headcanon, stolen from Martín who's "an infantry general by vocation" and NO ONE can change my mind

Roi's sincere WTF look here is priceless 

All in all - yep, i'm watching the rest too (lol). Can't guarantee live reactions for the next episodes (unless requested/I have the time)

[sardonic-sprite]

You

GUYS

I have just witnessed the Christmas Carol spinoff "Spirited" with Will Farrel and Ryan Reynolds and I shit you not it is to live rent free in my brain at any and every Christmas season hence. Seriously, the songs were EPIC, the writing was fucking GOOD? start to finish it was hilarious, and honestly I am also down with the message aside from a few theological technicaloties (not that it was remotely religious lmao) i beg if you have apple tv go watch ut and if not aid my search in finding another way

BUT ALSO im me so imagining the batfam witnessing this glory has given me nearly equal delight which I must share

*batboy 1 does something for batboy 2*

2: *gasp* you would do that for me???

1: you're my bro!!!!

2: bro!

Damian: *good afternoon* drake

Tim: hey good-- waitasecond GOOD *FUCKING* AFTERNOON YOU BRAT

Jason, pouring his heart out as Kori and Roy put on a lights show behind him: UNREDEEMABLE! UNLOVEABLE!

Batfam, crying: jason no stop we love you

Alfred, definitely not singing: I think that crosses a line and this is it!

Dick, chasing any brother: NO COME BACK YOU HAVE TO FACE THE KICKER ITS OK IM WITH YOU

said brother: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

*on patrol* batboy: GET CHRISTMAS CAROLED BITCH

Goons: what the fuuuuuuuu

[sisaloofafump]

I am actually so excited to answer these they are great questions. Putting them under the break because I have a lot of thoughts and don't want to take up so much space.

1. You have to make one Robin (Dick, Jason, Tim, Stephanie, Damian) not exist permanently and never have existed. Choose which.

If I'm allowed to modify the length of the other Robins? Then Damian 100%. I think a lot of his character arc could have been covered by Steph if she'd had more time—the anger, the violence, the villain parent. I don't like how authors took Damian's existence as the "blood kid" and ran with it to such extremes of him (and Dick) being his only real kids. Damian has also spent such little time actually as Bruce's Robin, opting more for independent stories, that I find him a lot less important to the Robin mythos than the other boys. (He's important to the Bruce mythos, but not Robin). I do genuinely really like Damian, he's one of my favourite robins, but... he'd be the one to go.

2. Superman comics, Batman comics, Wonder Woman comics, Flash comics. You can only keep 2.

I'm keeping Superman and Wonder Woman. Which, as someone who primarily reads Superman and Batman streams, surprised me. Superman is staying because I love it to death and it is so important to comic history. Wonder Woman is staying because it's important and I find it hilarious. Batman is the unfortunate loss but primarily because it's changed so much over the years and each version has been done by others.

3. How many children does Batman have in Canon.

6: Helena, Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian, Cass

4. Design a new character for the Wonder Woman mythos.

A jail keeper of constellations, keeping the greek heroes memorialized in the sky in a frozen, isolated, but perpetual honoured stasis.

5. Choose one Titans Team constellation.

Currently, I'm really digging the classic World's Finest: Teen Titans roster: Dick Donna, Garth, Wally, Roy, and Karen (Bumblebee)!

6. Worst Batman writer.

I'm going to flip the script and say the best current author is James Tynion IV. The worst Superman author is my nemesis Cary Bates. He has written some Batman, but he is primarily a Superman author and absolutely ruined Lois Lane. (Similarly, my biggest complaints about Tom King are his portrayals of Lois, and my biggest compliments of Zdarsky is his inclusion of Supes. Zdarsky would be my least favourite Bman writer rn though).

7. Opinions on the Young Justice cartoon.

I've never seen it!

8. (similiar to 3 but different) who do you consider main batfam.

Bruce, Alfred, Dick, Kate, Barbara, Jason, Tim, Damian, Cass, Steph, Duke. Those are the ones that stick out like a sore thumb to me if they're not included. It's unfortunate how big that is.

9. Which non canon book do you consider canon.

Solely the aspect of Future State where Maps Mizoguchi got to be Robin. The 1940s radio show I consider gospel in many ways and a lot of the Golden/Silver age Imaginary Stories or non-comics material greatly informs how I see the characters.

10. Worst dc artist.

... Michael Turner (reintroduced Supergirl in 2004). I dislike his style and hate the way he draws women.

11. Kill one person permanently. (not the joker)

I love him to death so I'm killing Hal Jordan. He's been in a semi-replaced limbo for decades now and something needs to happen (and I like John Stewart more).

12. Favourite Tom King book.

Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow!!! Mat Lopes is my favourite DC artist of all time and his work with Bilquis Evely is god tier. The art makes up for any writing issues.

13. Which book would you give Tom King to write.

Teen Titans or any teenage group. I think his biggest strengths are in writing good banter and short fun scenarios (Batburger, etc). He messes around a lot with the foundations of a given character's situation (look at the mess of Batman's world now) but I don't think that would be a big deal if he worked with a Team that already has a rotating roster. Especially if a lot of the characters on that team aren't long-time established characters, it'd be great. Also it gets bad when he makes it too edgy or focuses on mental health themes but that'd be less of an issue with kids and is honestly just a trap that almost every Batman author has.

14. Opinion on The Dark Knight Returns.

I own it. I haven't read it. I don't particularly care for its premise but I recognize how important it is. Also the amount of titles Carrie Kelley has gone through (Robin, Catgirl, Batgirl, Batwoman) is hilarious though.

15. Favorite Jason Todd version.

Honestly, I'm really enjoying him right now in Joker: The Man Who Stopped Laughing. I like his outfit and its nods to his LoA training. I like that he still uses guns as well as his non-lethal methods. I like that he's still on the outskirts of the bat-family while not waxing angstly every second of it or being randomly happy and reincorporated (*cough cough* B&R: Eternal). I love his partnerships with Steph and Rose and Manhunter. I'd be happy if we had stuck around this characterization for a lot longer.

16. Which character do you think is better in the new 52 than outside the new 52.

If we're including rebirth as well then Supergirl/Kara Zor-El. 100%. I have a lot of beef with the way she was written in the early 2000s.

17. Who is in your opinion the favourite sibling for each of the batchildren.

DICK: Bruce or if he doesn't count, Damian. Neither of which are fully a father/brother/son to him. Pure uncomplicated sibling vibes though? Jason

JASON: bounces between Dick and Tim. I don't think he considers Duke or Steph his siblings but I think he has uncomplicated good opinions of them

TIM: Dick

DAMIAN: Dick. 100%

CASS: Duke (Steph then Babs as backup)

DUKE: Cass (Damian as backup)

(Bonus) HELENA: Tim.

(Bonus) STEPH: ... also Tim but it is messy. Cass as a strong contender

(Bonus) KATE: Alfred

18. Best Supergirl.

Sneakily? I like the very recent Power Girl/Paige. Otherwise I do love the current Kara, and the late Silver Age/Early Bronze Linda Lee Danvers

19. Worst Supergirl.

Unsurprisingly if you've read my previous answers, the 2004 one. Not her fault, I just hate everything about her backstory and introduction.

20. Choose a Superboy love interest.

WHICH SUPERBOY??? The first one I always think of is baby Silver Age Clark and I love him and Lana. I don't have opinions on the others.

BONUS: YOUR favourite controversial opinion!

The best live action casting of Batman & co was the 1943 TV serial. Yes the plot is horribly racist anti-Japanese World War II propaganda. Yes I believe every Batman fan should watch Bruce and Dick's scenes (and skip the rest).

20 questions to HATE (dc edition)

There was this one artikel a while back which was somethign like 30 questions to love. and then i saw a tictoc with a girl who made her own version 30 question to HATE. So i made a dc version. if someone answer all 20 questions and you dont HATE them afterwards you guys have a very special connection <3. (i came up with these with the help of @rina457)

You have to make one Robin (Dick, Jason, Tim, Stephanie, Damian) not exist permanently and never have existed. Choose which.

Superman comics, Batman comics, Wonder Woman comics, Flash comics. You can only keep 2.

How many children does Batman have in Canon.

Design a new character for the Wonder Woman mythos.

Choose one Titans Team constellation.

Worst Batman writer.

Opinions on the Young Justice cartoon.

(similiar to 3 but different) who do you consider main batfam.

Which non canon book do you consider canon.

Worst dc artist.

Kill one person permanently. (not the joker)

Favorite tom king book.

Which book would you give tom king to write.

Opinion zu the dark knight returns.

Favorite jason todd version.

Which character do you think is better in the new 52 than outside the new 52.

Who is in your opinion the favorite sibling for each of the batchildren.

Best supergirl.

Worst supergirl.

Choose a Superboy love interest.

BONUS: YOUR favorite controversial opinion!

(Sorry these are kinda batman heavy, however batman fans are the ones which the most ontroversial opinions.)

[incorrect-quotes-batfam-edition]

Another Dumb Headcanons Thing

Tim is very good at dissociating. Like, alarmingly good. No I am not taking this from my church kid days why do you ask He started doing it when his parents would bring him to galas and now it’s just a habit of his to drift off when he’s bored.

Damian calls Cass ‘Cassandra’ instead of ’Cain’ because she told him that doesn’t like to be reminded of her father. (Dick is a teeny bit jealous because it took him AGES to get to first name basis)

Duke and Steph are banned from every haunted house in Gotham because of the ‘Chainsaw Incident’.

Jason went through a lot of different phases in his life, and his Spotify playlists will give you whiplash. It will go from Beethoven to Green Day to Nirvana to Olivia Rodrigo to AC/DC to Carrie Underwood because he never takes anything off his playlist.

Barbara, Roy, Wally, Kori, Artemis, Bart, and Colin all have matching t-shirts that say ‘Emotional Support Redhead’. Steph was absolutely the one that printed the shirts, but no one’s going to tell on her so it’s a mystery.

Dick and Cass are blanket hogs.

Damian will deny it long beyond his dying breath, but if Tim falls asleep at his desk he’ll put a blanket over him.

Tim hates coffee with a burning passion. He will drink it for the caffeine if he needs to, but he much prefers energy drinks.

The only literary classic that Jason has ever hated was the Odyssey, specifically the Robert Fagles translation.

Duke had a Percy Jackson phase when he was like 12. Yes he wrote fanfiction and he’s not ashamed of it.

Bruce considers Cass and Duke his ‘Good Children’, but in reality they’re just good at not getting caught.

Dick has the intelligence of Albert Einstein, the physical abilities of an gold medalist Olympic gymnast/martial artist/rock climber, and the self-preservation instincts of a wet paper bag. He lives for Truth or Dare.

Every single one of the batkids (Babs and Steph included) are blacklisted from all the DeBrands in Kansas. No one knows what happened. Most people are too scared to ask.

It cannot be proven Babs destroyed any and all evidence but to this day Steph swears on her life that she once stole the Declaration of Independence because ‘Duke dared me to and Damian said I couldn’t do it so I absolutely had to’.

Bernard believes with all his heart that Clark Kent is Batman. Tim finds this hilarious. Bruce wants to slam his head into a wall.

[damigatitos]

Thinking abt Damian becoming the favorite brother in law of every single one of his sibling's s/o.

He would make sure to visit the titan tower every once in a while just to see Kori and/or Roy (who are knowingly, Dick's exes) He talks about the teen titans with Kori and asks Roy about Lian (after making sure he won enough times at Mario Kart) He also exchange gossip with Barbara over a cup of coffee once a week. Dick is so confused.

When Cassandra and Stephanie FINALLY get together, Damian doesn't seem to take his sight away from Cass, it takes three days and a five minutes staring contest for Cass to finally give in, without breaking eye contact she says: "I won't hurt her" Damian narrow his eyes and nods before leaving. Cassandra knows how much they care about each other, she's happy.

It was not surprising, to Jason at least, when Damian and Rose started getting along, he knew how much they could relate and help each other, it was even funny, how Damian had unconsciously started collecting older sisters figures, he'll never forget the betrayed look Damian had on his face the day he announced he and Rose had broken up, so when the family had fond out about him and Kyle a year later, he was actually surprised when they started getting along too. Being nice to Rayner, if Damian's being honest, had started merely as a way to annoy Jason, the art chats, however, came along and Damian wasn't about to refuse to talk about paintings with someone who actually appreciated them (and he was a manga fan too!) they even exchange sketchbooks just to get each other's opinion every once in a while, which is nice. Kyle is looking at something in his phone when he speaks "some new gallery just opened in New York, maybe we should invite your little brother?" Jason sigh but ends up nodding, How the hell does he keeps getting himself in this situation?

Damian doesn't know why Bernard thinks his father is part of the shadow government, he didn't understand a single thing about his theory, but he thinks is hilarious, so he doesn't complain about it, he asks, genuinely curious, for more of these theorys. Two hours into the conversation, Tim's head starts hurting, he knows he should have stopped this before it could even begin, but his boyfriend looked so happy talking about something that interested him, he'll find a way to blame this on Damian, later, after a long, nice, cup of anything.

When Duke first talks about his crush with someone in college everyone turns to look at Damian, he raises an eyebrow "What? Can you all not just believe that I'm just an actual nice person who knows how to socialize with people in a civil way?" no one answers.

When Damian first talks about Nika, however, it's the start of a civil war in the batfam, Damian watches as his siblings discuss who should be her favourite brother in law, he knows it doesn't matter, she's already too much of a Talia fan to have any other favorite whatever, he let's them be.

[theodorecanaryhood]

Damian’s teacher

Trevor Signorino as Jason Todd for this fic, cause why not?!

Jason Todd x Male reader

Damian’s first day of public school was hilarious as he had never gone before, Bruce was struggling to talk him into it but eventually Damian was ok with it. So long as he could get out of doing things in the Manor.

It wasn’t everyday that a Wayne would go to School, I mean Dick did, Jason dropped out and Tim left before he was adopted and then did online school after.

Jason agreed to take Damian this one day as he was on his way to Roy’s to sort a mission.

‘So, you excited little man?’ Jason asked as he turned the corner, Damian playing with his seatbelt.

‘I guess Todd, though I don’t see why I need to go to school’ Damian huffed, Jason stopping at a a red light.

‘Well, we need an education for life’ Jason smiled, Damian huffed again.

‘Tt’

‘Huff at me one more time’ Jason said straight faced as he turned his head to look at his youngest brother.

‘I guess you’re right’ Damian said as to avoid confrontation with Jason, pointless trying to argue with Jason.

The school was full of students saying goodbye to parents, Damian scrunched his face.

Jason parked and got out of the car, along with Damian following, hesitantly.

‘You got everything? Lunch? Books?’ Jason asked, Damian nodded as he internally rolled his eyes.

‘Morning Mr Wayne, how are you?’ A man’s voice broke the tension between the two brothers, Jason turned to look at you.

Your h/c hair stood in a simple style, your e/c eyes shining in the sunlight along with a friendly smile. You look at Jason, who catches himself staring at you and saves it by smiling charmingly at you.

‘Hi, I’m Jason, Damian’s older brother’ Jason said holding his hand out to you, you took it.

‘I’m y/n, Damian’s teacher’

‘So, uhm, I think, uhm, Damian’ Jason stumbled as you looked deep into his eyes, catching his nerves a little.

‘Jason, he’s my teacher please’ Damian scoffed as you chuckled, Jason just shot Damian a glare.

‘Well the day is about to begin young man, I think you should run off to class. Was lovely to meet you Jason’ you said as Damian walked into the classroom with you.

…

Jason was eager to get back to the school to pick up Damian, only to see if he could get a glimpse of you, or see if he could find out something about you.

Damian scrunched his face once again as he saw Jason, standing at the car. Leather jacket, fancy sunglasses with his dog tag necklace.

‘Todd? Why are you all dressed up like that?’ Damian asked as Jason put his arm out and gave Damian a side hug, ‘why are you hugging me?’

‘What I can’t hug my little brother?’ Jason asked laughing, Damian just shook his head as he opened the back door to the car.

‘Are you wearing cologne?’ Damian asked as he sniffed at Jason a little, Jason nodded shyly.

‘Yeah, just thought I would’

‘Are you crushing on my teacher?’ Damian interrupted as Jason went red in the face a little.

‘No, I mean, why? What, did he say something about me?’ Jason stumbled for words, Damian smirked as he got in the car.

‘Jason’ You said as you came over to the car, Jason shot his head to your direction and went shy again.

‘Hi’ he almost whispered, you handed him a bag that was Damian’s.

‘He has a habit of leaving bags behind’ you laughed, Jason taking the bag from you.

‘I guess he does, he’d be dangerous with a brain’ Jason joked as Damian stuck his head out the open backseat window.

‘Hey, I heard that’ he nearly shouted, glaring at Jason. You both laughing.

‘Anyway, better get him home’ Jason said as he gently leaned towards you for you to have a smell of his cologne.

…

Jason was walking around in a tank top and sweat pants in the streets of Gotham, FaceTiming Roy who was away on a mission.

‘You need me to look after your place while you’re gone?’ Jason asked, Roy chuckled.

‘No I’m all good bro, thanks’

You were finishing up with your run as you stood to drink some water, taking a look around as you saw Jason in the other side of the street.

‘Are you sure he will be ok? I mean last time we left him alone for too long he somehow managed to tie his own hands behind his back’ Jason ranted to Roy, Roy just laughed heartily as he scratched at his head.

‘I’m sure he’ll be good, Jay stop worrying’ Jason just smiled a little as Roy said he was going to be taking off soon.

‘Have a safe day bud, I’ll see you when you’re back. We’ll grab some drinks’ Jason said as he waved goodbye to his best friend.

Jason looked up from his screen as he saw you in the other side of the street, you were still in your workout attire and to say Jason suddenly shot up, in between the legs, is a little understatement.

You waved at him as you saw sight of him looking at you, Jason just waved back as he had to find a way to walk without people noticing he was a little hard. And sweatpants don’t hide it well.

‘Hey, how are you?’ You asked politely as Jason watched you walked across the street to him.

‘I’m good y/n, you?’ Jason asked in return, preying you don’t look down and see that he is awkwardly cupping a little to hide his embarrassing friend popping up to say hello.

‘Great, you?’ You asked and cringed, ‘we asked you already’ you laughed as Jason smiled.

‘So what are you up to?’ Jason asked you, he saw you already but tried to style out he didn’t see.

‘I just finished up on a run, you?’

‘Was just out walking and FaceTiming a friend, he’s away’ you nodded.

‘Ok awesome’

Jason just thought that you wouldn’t make an effort to talk to people out of school drop offs, so he took a jump he wouldn’t normally.

‘Y/n, I was wondering if you wanted to go out and get a coffee or something some time’ Jason blurted, his eyes looking into your so deeply you had to catch your breath.

‘Well, of course’ you smiled brightly as Jason smiled in return.

‘Great, can I give you my number?’ He asked you as you took out your phone, Jason typing his number into your contacts.

‘I’ll text you later, I’m off all of this week so if you want to do something then I’m down’ you informed, Jason leant in towards you.

‘Can I make another jump?’ He asked you, you bit your bottom lip a little as you leant in too.

Jason have you a sweet and gentle kiss on the lips, you grabbed his face and pulled him in a little more. With the occasional glance from people watching as two men showed affection.

‘I imagined what that would be like for a while’ Jason whispered as he pulled away.

‘Me too’

‘Are you free now?’ Jason asked you as you nodded.

‘I am’

The two of you walked off together into the direction of a nearby coffee shop, Jason had a bright smile on his face the whole way as you talked about life with him.

Damian would not be happy about his Teacher and Brother dating, but he’d get used to it eventually. You hope

// I found this in my drafts half finished and forgot about it, think I started this in May and never got round to finishing it! Might have a look at how many more drafts I have.

[hintofcolor]

More batfamily headcanons because I have so so many:

Duke has a lisp

He also has deadpan humor which his siblings love especially when their in masks and civilians can’t tell whether he’s joking or not

Duke has managed to hide exactly how chaotic he is from Bruce

Nobody told the league what dukes power is

It took them 2 years to figure it out

All they were told is that he was a meta and the all the bat kids had the time of their lives messing with them

He managed to convince a chunk of them that he could communicate with bats

He and tim together are a nightmare

Duke and Tim are the same age

Therefore they really love playing around with the twin stereotypes (twin telepathy, sharing all the same things so forth so on)

(“Oh you two are related” “yeah we’re identical twins”) (“I mean obviously I was born first” “were not” “yes I was I remember kicking you out of the way”) (“yeah Bruce couldn’t tell us apart so we were color coded” “I was red he was yellow” “I’m still not sure he didn’t get us mixed up”)

Tim gets all of his bad habits from dick

The not sleeping, not taking care of himself ,becoming obsessive over cases, holding himself to an impossible standard then hating himself when he fumbles along the way. blaming himself for things he can’t control so on and so on

No one has pointed it out because no one thinks either of them would handle the news well

Tim shattered the knee cap of Gotham academy’s quarter back in school when he overheard him call Damian a slur promptly ending his very promising football career

Dick has a playlist for each original titan member full of songs that remind him of them

Kori proposed to Dick

He cried

When angry, and I mean really angry, there are very very very few people who aren’t afraid of Dick

The people include: Alfred, Wally, kori, Roy, Barbara Tim and WonderWoman

Superman has backed away from Dick before

Dick has also made the justice league stop and take a step back because they didn’t want to get in his way

The bats are the only heroes who tend to get immediate respect because of their symbol

They hate it and tend to go out of their way to prove that they can earn the respect

Tim is one of the few people who can trick kryptonians, telepaths, and bats

There’s no special reason he just got really good at lying trying to get out of schoolwork when he was a kid

Nobody can maneuver and manipulate Bruce like Tim can and it frightens a lot of the hero community

His siblings however think it’s hilarious

If all in a good mood the Wayne kids are nightmares at galas

One time Bruce was accidentally shoved into a food table by one of his goblins

Which started a food fight

It was all over the front pages and everyone thought it was adorable, him humoring his children

The contact photos for all of them on Stephanies phone are strawberry shortcake characters she thinks each are

There’s a gold star chart in the bat cave no one knows how it got there or who started it

They also have no idea how they get a star added to their names each one has spent more time then willing to admit trying to figure it

Also trying to figure out if Bruce is doing it or Alfred

It’s Bruce

And he just randomly puts them on

He finds it entertaining how competitive they get over it

Dick gets cold really easily so in Gotham he’s practically always cold

So there are giant incredibly soft blankets on every single couch or chair in the manor

Mainly because the manor stays fairly cold because Jason runs hot

Bruce always keeps it cold even after Jason died

Since coming back Jason stays cold and nothing helps

He doesn’t mention it to Bruce

Jason’s blood glows

Not neon like a glow stick but it has a shine to it

It’s also jet black

When he gets really bad flashbacks he feels all of the injuries that caused his death which leaves him on the ground writhing until he passes out from the pain

He also tends to bleed when he gets to worked up.

He will bleed from his eyes, ears, mouth, nose, and fingernails

Its mainly his eyes tho

Pride doesn’t happen in Gotham. At least not parades because while you have all of the bats and even certain rogues protecting it the city ‘doesn’t want to take that chance’

While Gotham is a lot of things homophobic is not one of them (there are homophobes but they are are few and far between and it’s extremely risky for them to say anything hateful out loud)

So during pride month a lot and I mean a lot of people hang pride flags. Typically never the same one twice. It’s the most color Gotham sees during the year

And the big event is a gala at the manor open to everyone

Harley, ivy and Selina are the guards for it.

It’s free admission but has donation stations and all proceeds go to multiple LGBT+ charities and organizations

It’s a huge event and has been going on since Dick suggested it when he was 12

They have held it every year since and never once has it gone poorly

Barbara has punched Bruce after he told her one night when she was batgirl that she couldn’t have any more coffee

Cassandra is a very tactile person and will cling on to whichever family member is closest to her

Her and Harper are really close and it terrifies the rest of her siblings

Stephanie and Harper started a club called the ‘honoraries’ for the kids that aren’t legally Bruce’s but still live in the manor

Stephs mom travels a lot for work so when her mom is out of town she lives at the manor

She’s there often enough that she has her own room

However she is always out of the house before the sun even rises on the days her mom comes home because of how excited she is to see her mom

Cassandra is scared of dogs

[remosdeerica]

Batshit AU Pt #2: The Grandkids

So I mentioned in the last post Batshit AU Pt. #1 that I cover Dick and Jason's kids but since I've been thinking (read: fantasizing) about the future of the Batfam I figured I'd just do a post with ALL the grandkids!

Just a heads up: this is a LONG post.

First we shall start with the Grayson's:

Mar'i and Jake (Jake is not my original name I've seen it pop up in other media- dunno if it's canon in any timeline but I'm going with it).

Mar'i Grayson: Mar'i is the biologically daughter of Dick Grayson and Koriand'r of Tamaran (aka Starfire). Kori is unknowingly pregnant after one last one-night-stand with Dick before going back to her home planet to take over as queen. Unfortunately, because of Kori's sister Komand'r (aka Blackfire) causing civil unrest to try and usurp the thorn from her, Tamaran becomes unsafe for Mar'i as she is Kori's only heir.

-Kor'i goes back to Earth with an infant Mar'i and begrudgingly hands her over to Dick so she can live with him and be safe from Blackfire.

-Kori of course visits while she can but has a lot of responsibilities on Tamaran. When Mar'i is older she is able to go back to Tamaran to visit her mother.

-A few years later when Dick and Barbra get married, Barbra officially adopts Mar'i. Seeing both Kor'i and Barbra as her mothers Mar'i decides so call Kori "Mama" and Barbra "Mom/Mommy".

Jake Grayson: don't have much of an exciting backstory for him. He was basically just an orphaned infant Dick and Barbra decided to adopt after his bio-parents had been murdered.

Now he have the Todd family:

Because I am a heartless monster I decided that since Roy died in the comics without any sign of Lian and Jason was pretty fucked up about it, I would have Jason adopt Lian because Roy wasn't round to take care of her. So this is basically what happened:

Lain Harper-Todd: 1 year or so after Roy's death, Jason is visited by Jade Nguyen (aka Cheshire) who is carrying an infant Lian. Jade explains that she hadn't realised she was pregnant with Roy's child until after he was already dead and since she is not ready to give up her life as an assassin she states that Lian is better off without her. She then asks Jason if he would be willing to take Lian in as Roy's former partner (read into that how you will).

-Jason agrees, and decides to hyphenate her last name Harper-Todd so that she will always have a piece of Roy with her even if he can't be there for her in person.

it's not that I don't think JayRoy is cute! It's just that I honestly I don't really picture Jason dating anyone in my mind and the thought of him being a single dad is just precious. I'm also allergic to OC's (of my own making) so I usually try to keep to characters that are at least canon in some timeline and Lian was the first to come to mind.

Also I'm a angst-hungry monster so...

Drake-Wayne/Dowd/McGinnis household:

Lol, this family has too many names.

I already went over Terry and Matthew McGinnis' backstory in Batshit AU Pt. #1 but if you are too lazy/ don't feel like reading it I'll try to make sure to cover the important details.

Terry & Matthew McGinnis: A few years down the road, Tim is the current Batman and married to Bernard Dowd (my new fave batship). One night on patrol he finds the boys hunkered down behind an garbage container and approaches them.

-Terry is extremely protective of his younger brother Matt and becomes immediately aggressive, swinging a baseball around and threatening Tim to leave them alone.

-Tim finds it admirable/endearing that Terry is willing to face Batman alone in order to protect his brother and tells him so. He then asks them where there parents and and Matt (trusting Batman) tells Tim that they were killed by the 'Bad Men' who are now looking for he and Tarry.

-Tim is worried for the boys safety and offers to take them to the Police, but Tarry only says that they already tried that and that there are spies in the GCPD who ratted them out to the 'Bad Men'.

-Tim figures out that the boys are in more danger then he first realized and takes them home with him in order to protect them.

-Tim eventually finds out about Project Batman Beyond, an experiment orchestrated by A.R.G.U.S. in order to create the perfect child to usurp the Cowl and give A.R.G.U.S and 'in' with the Justice League and the super-community as a whole. A part of this project is making sure the children are biologically Bruce Wayne's in order for them to also gain influence over Wayne Enterprises.

-Tim realizes that there is no real safe place that he can send the boys and after discussing it with his husband, Bernard, the two decide to adopt the boys.

I think this adoption story is one of my favourites. Especially because I find the idea of Bernard not at all being surprised by his husband brining home black-haired blue-eyes orphans, hilarious.

Bernard: I figured since you are now Batman it was only a matter of time.

Tim: >:(

Wayne-Kent situation:

DamiJon is one of my absolute favourite ships in existence. But since both boys are so young in canon my version of their future relationship truly is creature of my own design, I will explain them a little and then the kids. I'll be quick about it. Promise. (There is also a 2 part series I'm working on that goes into my version of events called "Jon and Damian" if anyone is interested. Jon's chapter is done but Damian's is still in the works).

Jon: he is the one that I really have to explain. I call my version of him "Dark-ish Jon" or 'dark ish jon' for the tags. For those of you who already know the deal (or don't really care) y'all can skip to the *** for the kids.

-basically Jon was kidnapped by Jon-El (Clark's Kryptonian Bio-dad) in order for Jor-El to mold Jon into the perfect weapon for his plan to conquer the universe. They have a machine that Jumps through various timelines so no one can find them, and Jon-El trains/tortures Jon for 2 years.

-Jon eventually discovers new powers that allow him to kill Jor-El and escape but he ends up spending the next several years trying to find his original timeline.

-He eventually meets the Legion of Superheroes that help him get home, but once he arrives home he realizes that for him it has been 7 years since he was kidnaped, but only 2 weeks for his family/friends.

-Because of this he and his family find it hard to adjust to the new situation and Jon ultimately decides to return to the Legion but visit occasionally.

Damian: Honestly I don't think I really have to explain much about Damian for y'all to get the kids but I do want you to know:

He has long hair

He has peirced ears

Possibly tattoos?

He's has more of a slim figure than Bruce's bulky one

He is a fashion icon and kinda has 'bitchy white girl' energy

Bacically he very pretty and looks a LOT like Thalia

And yeah. The two eventually reconcile after Jon is done moping in another timeline and they decide to retire from crime fighting and build a cottage/farm and live in peace.

***

Athanasia: So she is actually Bruce's bio-kid from the Injustice timeline. And for my AU she is still Bruce's biologically and she does recognize him as her father, but because she and Damian are 13/14 years apart and she knows him better she lives and defers to him as her caretaker. I shall explain:

-Athanasia was created by Thalia in a fit of madness after Damian's death. Because of what happened to Damian, and because Athanasia turned out to be a girl (and therefor Ra's would have no use for her), Thalia keeps the little girl locked away and a secret so that no one can harm her.

-Years pass and Athanasia has never seen the outside would. Eventually something happens (will depends on the Fic -because I will get around to writing this shit eventually) and Athanasia is given to Damian (the only other person Thalia ever told her about.)

-At this point Bruce is getting older and most of his current children already have their own kids, so both he and Damian agree that because Athanasia is mostly attached to Damian and doesn't really know who Bruce is outside of being her father, that she will live with he and Jon.

-Athanasia get's older and eventually meets another girl at her school named Carrie Kelley. The girls form a quick bond, Carrie's louder personality complementing Athanasia's more quiet one.

Carrie Kelley: being best friends with Athanasia leads to Carrie spending a lot of time over at her house. This allows Jon and Damian to get to know the girl and become quite fond of her.

-one night after a sleepover at Jon and Damian's house with some of their other friends, Carrie's father comes to the house drunk and carrying a shot gun. He accuses Jon and Damian of being pedophiles because of their sexual orientations and calls them a variety of homophobic slurs.

-It's his attempts at shooting Jon that leads to Carrie calling 911 and having her own father arrested.

-Because her mother had already left and Carrie only had her dad to take care of her, Jon and Damian offer her a place in their home and eventually adopt her along with Athanasia when the girls are teenagers.

So, yeah! That's it for now. I am absolutely obsesses with this AU. I just love the idea of Bruce deciding to take in Dick leading to him having an army of children and grandchildren so large that all family gatherings have to happen at the Manor because nowhere else is big enough.

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

[lily-drake]

Previous

Ao3

Here is part 3 of my Assassin!Marinette story based around @bambicambi ’s prompts. Thank you for reading, i hope you all enjoy it!

Lesson 3: You Can't Always Trust What You See, It's How You Believe It

Prompt:

Jason: *grabs Marinette's face* listen to me. Marinette: *grabs his wrists* sir- Jason: listen to me. Marinette: *stares into his eyes* ... Jason: i am not like your old handlers. Marinette: *breathes in deeply* Jason: i will never be like your old handlers. Marinette: .. Jason: trust me. Marinette: *swallows* ... Jason: speak. Marinette: i can not trust you. But i will believe you. Jason: thats- yeah, *lets her go* okay. —————- Talia: Marin. Marin: Mother. Talia: come here. Marin: *walks up beside her* ... Talia: *looks down at her* ...have i told you that you have your father's eyes? Marin: *blinks* ... Talia: you know you are always able to speak freely around me without punishment. Marin: *swallows* it is hard not to know that i have my Father's eye color, Mother. Talia: *hums* yes.. i suppose. Marin: *fingers twitch* ... Talia: you twitched. Marin: *stands ever so slightly straighter* yes. Talia: i thought I've told you to not make it a habit. Marin: i haven't, Mother. Talia: you know how your grandfather feels about weakness. Marin: *blinks* i'm aware. Talia: *places her hand on Marin's shoulder* best to not make it a habit, Marin. Marin: *nods her head* affirmative. Talia: i am not your handler. Marin: *fights the urge to touch her arms* I'm aware, Mother. Talia: *smiles softly at her* i wish for you not to talk to me with such formal language while it is just the two of us. Marin: *looks over towards the left wall* there are 3 guards surrounding us. Talia: outside the walls, Marin. Marin: *looks towards the window* Damian is also currently outside. Talia: *runs her hands through Marin's hair* im aware. Marin: *nods her head* alright..

_________________

It had been a long flight to Paris, France.  She had hid inside one of Roy’s luggages so that no one would spot her.  Jason had disguised himself as an assistant and was telling Roy his schedule through the airport, which was hilarious.  She knew that he didn’t like it when Roy bossed him around, so the fact that he had to do whatever Roy said until they got on the plane made it hard for her to stay silent at some points.  When they got on the plane and the door shut Jason quickly unzipped the case and opened it so that she could climb out.

“Hey Pix, you alright?”

Jason asked as he carefully took her hand and helped her stand up right on her feet.  She looked up at him and gave him a small, real, smile.

“I’m fine Peter.”

She then turned to Roy who was sitting in one of the seats as the plane began to be dragged to the tarmac.

“Thanks again Roy, I owe you one.”

Roy smirked eagerly.

“That means if I call you in for a favor you’ll come?”

Marin sighed and rolled her eyes and nodded,

“Yea, I guess it does, but only once, so you better make it count.”

Jason rolled his eyes as he pulled her close to his side and walked them to the seats behind Roy giving her a gentle push towards the window seat.  The flight would be about 8 hours long, and Marin did not want to fall asleep, too many risks.  So like the amazing big brothers Jason and Roy were they stayed up talking and watching movies with her.  They even talked about disguises so she wouldn’t be recognized in public.  They decided that in the end they would dye her hair dark navy blue with red highlights and that she would wear grey eyed contacts.  It wasn’t anything big or complicated, but it was enough and should be able to disguise her well enough for her to just blend in.

When they arrived at the airport in Paris, France it was around 7:30 PM there and there was a small chill in the mid-April air.  Jason and Marin bid farewell to Roy as he left to go find one of his safe houses he had here while they went in search of one Gina Dupain.  They had found her near the entrance leaning against a motorbike with a sidecar attached to it.  As soon as Gina saw them she ran towards Jason and Marin had to fight everything inside of herself to not go into a defensive stance.  The lady was thin and tall with gray locks in a pixie cut.  She had a natural tan that was part of her skin tone and had a thick Italian accent as she spoke.

“Jason dear, it has been too long!  I’m so glad you decided to call while I was here!”

Jason hugged her back allowing Marin to lower her guard ever so slightly.  She may see that the woman was harmless, but she refused to just believe that.  Looks were used to deceive after all.

“It’s good to see you again as well Gina,”

He began gently pushing her away a bit.  He then turned to Marin and was about to introduce her, but she beat him to it.

“Hello, I’m Marinette.  I’m Jason’s sister, well he keeps saying that at least.”

She giggled out as her eyes shined brightly.  Gina seemed to buy it as she fawned over her.

“Where did you find this leetle fairy Jason, she is so adorable!”

She glanced over at Jason and saw him trying to hide a laugh behind his hand, but he was failing….miserably.  They had worked over a cover story on the plane as well, so they had everything covered.  She would be Marinette, the boys protested, but she ignored them.  Jason had found her on the streets in Gotham after she had tried to pickpocket him.  He unofficially adopted her as his little sister and is trying to find her a good place to live.  He remembered that Gina had said something about her son and daughter wanting a child because they couldn’t have one and were looking to adopt.  So, he would come with Marin to Paris to make sure the home was good enough for her before he left her with them with the promise of keeping contact and as constant as possible visits.

“Girl tried to pickpocket me on the streets, almost got away with it to if she hadn’t tripped and dropped my wallet on the ground.”

Marinette flushed in “Embarrassment” and covered her face as she swatted him away.  Gina continued to coo over her for a few more minutes before she asked her if she wanted to climb into her sidecar.  Hesitantly she agreed and climbed in fastening the seat belt.  Gina passed Jason the keys to the bike as he climbed on, her climbing on behind him.  The flew into the city at a speed she doubted was legal, but she wasn’t complaining.  Gina gave Jason directions to a small bakery where he slowed down and carefully parked the bike at the side of the road.  Carefully she climbed out, but not before “tripping” over the edge of it.  She let out a small yelp and Jason quickly caught her before she could make contact with the cement.  He rolled his eyes, she was used to it though.  She did the same thing at school, and Damian would react the same exact way, it made her laugh.  Gina also came around and fretted over her making sure she was fine.  This, this was foreign territory to her and she had no idea how to react.  She had never been fretted over like this before, if she was hurt she was told to brush it off or just have Alfred look it over if it was serious enough.  Her thoughts drifted back to her mother and the time they spent together when no one else was around.  Sometimes she would “fret”, but not like this, she would let her sit on one of her chairs or her bed and she would help treat some of the wounds for her.

Despite popular belief she and her mother actually got along and cared for each other.  Love was too strong a word for their bond, but she knew that her mother did care about her.  She was just following orders like she was supposed to.  Marin always played along with those orders trying to make them as believable as possible so Grandfather would not hurt her or her mother.  In public it was supposed to seem like her mother hated her, she was supposed to be “afraid” of her and punishment from the woman.  Most of them were private, and if they just sat and drank tea or worked on her form a little and she walked out with a “limp” afterwards, who's to say that she hadn’t just kept silent during the whole “punishment”.

She was drawn out of her thoughts by Jason carefully pulling her towards the bakery and talking to her softly as if she were a frightened child.  She squeezed his hand in hers and leaned into his side as he continued to talk.  The bell to the bakery opened and she was greeted with warm air that smelled extraordinarily sweet.  She looked around enjoying the non-threatening and casual vibe of the bakery with it’s light decor and simplicity.  She heard Gina give a loud greeting as she ran towards the people at the counter.  There was a short Asian woman with dark black hair in a bob cut and a very tall man that reminded her of Bane, but not from steroids, with brown hair and a mustache.  Both of the adults ran out from behind the counter and hugged Gina.  They were a physical family, she would have to get used to that if she decided to stay here.

Gina quickly brought the two people over to her and Jason.  She leaned into him more as the two came closer to her as Gina talked excitedly about them and how sweet she seemed.  The lady with the dark hair bent down a little and gave her a small soft smile.

“Hello Marinette, my name is Sabine and this is my husband Tom.  It’s nice to meet you.”

Sabine said in a very gentle and sweet voice in accented english as she held out her hand.  Marinette looked up at Jason and saw him give her a small nod.  She slowly came out from behind Jason and shook Sabine’s hand before she replied in stuttered French,

“Hello, it’s nice to meet you Ma’am.”

Sabine gave her a brighter smile and asked if she would like to come upstairs as Tom closed up the shop.  She slowly nodded as she followed Sabine behind the counter through a door that led to a hall filled with stairs.  She walked up the stairs still holding tightly to Jason’s hand until they arrived at the top where there was another door that led to a small apartment.  Sabine led her to a small living room where she sat on one of the couches, Tom, Sabine, and Gina sitting on the one across from the two.

“So, this is my little sister, Marinette, and I was told that you were looking to adopt.  She needs a stable place to live, somewhere that will keep her safe, somewhere that will have her be treated as an equal, and that she won’t be ignored.”

Tom and Sabine nodded as they studied the girl and asked if she wanted to go upstairs to see if the room she would have if she stayed was suitable for her and so she could get a feel for what she may want to do with it if she decided she wanted to stay here.  Slowly she nodded and stood up, but as she passed the back of the couch she tripped on thin air.  She quickly stood up, face flushed as she quickly ran up the stairs before Jason could ask if she was ok.  She closed the trap door and sighed as she looked around the room.  It was spacey and….pink.  While Marin didn’t like the color, she knew that it would fit Marinette’s personality perfectly.  There were two windows and a skylight that led to a balcony on the roof.  All in all the room was nice and would do nicely if she decided to stay here.  She walked towards the trap door and placed her ear to it so she could listen to the conversation.  It was nothing ginormous or of great importance, just questions being asked about her and Jason interrogating the two adults to see if they were good enough.  A few minutes later she walked down the stairs and carefully sat back down next to Jason.  The others smiled at her and continued to talk and asked her questions every so often making sure she felt included and that her opinion was important, because to them it was.  At the end of the day, both she and Jason left feeling good about the house, even if she would never fully trust them.

“Whatcha’ think Pixie-Pop?”

Jason asked as they walked through the park that was in front of the house.  It was nice and had a fountain in the middle of it.  There were lamps that lined the park making it glow softly as the sky darkened into night.  There was a peaceful feeling around them as they sat on a bench near the edge of the path.

“I...don’t know Jay.  On one hand they seem fine, and they didn’t have any tells and it didn’t seem like they had ulterior motives, but on the other I miss Mother.  I know that she was always harsh and cruel to me in the public eye, but she did care for me.”

Her mind wandered back to a small memory from when she was about 8.  She and her mother had been on a balcony overlooking part of the outer wall of Nanda Parbat during the late summer.  Sabine kind of reminded her of her mother with her soft and gentle ways that she would only show when it was just them.

*

“Marin.”

Her mother gently called out to her.  She had just entered her room and was waiting by the door for her next order.

“Mother.”

She greeted back cooly.

“Come here.”

Mother said as she continued to stare out at the land from the balcony.  Quietly she walked towards her making sure she didn’t make a sound as she stood right next to her.  Talia looked down towards her daughter and stared into her eyes.  She had always loved her daughters eyes, they looked so much like Bruce’s and she adored it.

“...Have I told you that you have your father’s eyes?”

She asked softly as the warm wind blew past them.  Marin didn’t respond though and just blinked too scared of being yelled at.  She still remembered the last time she spoke out of turn to her, but that was in front of the other Leaguers, it didn’t make her any less afraid though.  Talia’s eyes softened as she stared at her daughter as she stared back in silent attention.

“You know you are always able to speak freely around me without punishment.”

Talia said as she turned back to stare at the sunset in front of them.  Marin swallowed trying to calm herself knowing that she was right.  She was always so kind and patient when it was just them, besides she had invited her here for tea.  Tea was their time to be together peacefully whether in silence or small quiet conversation, and she was allowed to speak freely here, she just chose not to.

“It is hard not to know that I have my father’s eye color, mother.”

Both her mother and Grandfather had green eyes, Damian had received those same eyes.  She had blue eyes, blue eyes that no one else had, that she couldn’t have gotten from anyone else except her father. Her mother hummed a small smile playing at her lips.

“Yes… I suppose so.”

Marin’s fingers twitched as she felt her nerves get the best of her.  Talking about her father was always strange since she was never allowed to know his name or get any information about him.  If she brought it up she would be punished, Ra’s had personally told her that the first time she had asked him when she was 5.  Said she wasn’t worthy to know of or be part of such an amazing man’s family or something along those lines.  Talia glanced at her daughter and saw the ever so slight twitch in her fingers.  It was barely noticeable, but they were trained assassins and so it was easy to pick up on.

“You twitched.”

She pointed out hoping that her daughter was conscious of it so it would not become a habit.  She had used that motion during a mission as a nervous tell to lower the guard of the enemy, she had warned her not to get used to the motion.  Marin stood slightly taller so that she looked more self assured and confident instead of letting any fear show that she had been caught.

“Yes.”

Was her only response as she waited to be reprimanded.

“I thought I’ve told you to not make it a habit.”

Talia began in a worried voice.  If anyone else noticed it then they would use it against her or as leverage to manipulate her with the threat of telling the Demon Head.

“I haven’t, Mother.”

Was her terse reply.  It wasn’t a habit, she could control it.  It would not affect her, she was just stuck in a mold.  That meant she wasn’t trying hard enough, if she was stuck in a mold and couldn’t drop it then she was failing and needed to practice more.  She could not fall behind, to fall behind meant to dishonor her family name and she would never stand for that!

“You know how your grandfather feels about weakness.”

Talia said numbly as she subtly glanced back down at her daughter.  Marin simply blinked her face void of any emotions, but her eyes had glazed over in memory and fear.

“I’m aware.”

She replied flatly.  She certainly was aware, she had watched many executions for the “weak” of the League.  She had been told she would one day be one of those people many times before, she had been beaten in many different ways for being “weak”.  Talia turned and crouched down her daughter's level and gently placed her hands on her shoulders as she stared into her blue eyes and quietly said.

“Best not to make it a habit, Marin.”

Marin nodded her head sharply as she too stared into her mother’s olive green eyes giving a simple practiced,

“Affirmative.”

Talia’s eyes softened more.  Her daughter had been through so much, forced to wear so many masks that she had names and numbers for them, stuck in a place where everyone was her superior and she must treat them as such no matter who they were or where she was.  She wished that her daughter had not been forced to have such terrible people to train her, Jason had been doing so much good for her, and it made her glad that she had found him if only for her daughter to feel a little safe here.  She had been left at the mercy of her father’s hand picked men too many times.  She hated how her daughter felt that she had to talk to her as if she too were one of her handlers, that she couldn’t just speak with her normally again like she had when she was so much younger.

“I am not your handler.”

Talia reminded her trying to make her feel just a little safe in her presence.  Marin fought the urge to touch her mother’s hands and lean into the touch.  That would show weakness, that would show vulnerability, and she could not risk that.  She saw her mother and all that she had done to and for her, but she did not trust her.  She believed her mother cared for her, but she trusted that when all is said and done that she would never be first priority and if it came to her or Damian in a life or death situation, she would pick Damian.

“I am aware, Mother.”

Marin said, making her voice a bit softer.  Talia smiled softly at her and leaned in a little closer to her and whispered,

“I wish for you to not talk to me with such formal language while it is just the two of us.”

Marin subtly scanned her surroundings and quickly and quietly replied,

“There are 3 guards surrounding us.”

“Outside the walls, Marin.”

She glanced to the ground where one of the outside training areas were and saw her younger brother practicing his strikes and forms by himself and replied,

“Damian is also currently outside.”

Talia sighed as she began to gently run her fingers through her daughter’s long dark hair trying to calm her daughter down even just by a little bit.

“I’m aware.”

Talia whispered as she pressed her forehead against her daughter’s.  Marin’s guard dropped ever so slightly as she let her shoulders relax.   She gave a small slow nod and whispered,

“Alright…”

*

Her mother may have been distant and cold to her, but there were a few times like that where she knew that her mother did at least care about her. There was a long silence that passed between them as they thought over what to do next.  There was something here that felt like it wanted her to stay, but what if it was the wrong thing?  What if it was a trick and she was the fool of it.

“You know, I didn’t see any tells about them either, and they seemed like the people that could really help you right now.  They were supportive, inclusive, outgoing, and just respectable people.”

“And I get that, but what if you're wrong, what if it is all just a trick?  And what if-”

“Hey Pix, remember around week four of me being your handler?”

“Sorta, there were a few things, but it’s all kind of mushed together.  What about it Peter?”

“Well, I remember that one time you had tripped up and that you were scared for your life.”

“I was not!”

She said incredulously as she playfully hit his arm.  He rolled his eyes and continued like she hadn’t said anything,

“That was your first trip up ever in front of me, and it was so small that I barely even noticed it.  Then you stilled and just waited.  I didn’t understand what you were waiting for until you asked if I was going to discipline you.”

She remembered that day, she remembered it well.  She hadn’t been expecting his awkward response of,

“Just be careful or else you’ll hurt yourself.”

*

He even shrugged his shoulders afterward!  She remembered staring at him incredulously and talking about what he should have done.  How she messed up and how her last handlers had disciplined her.  He had kept calling her name and she wouldn’t stop talking until he squooshed her face with both of his giant hands and firmly said,

“Listen to me.”

While looking her right in the eyes.  She wrapped her hands around his wrists, though they only reached around half of his wrists and started to object saying,

“Sir-”

Only to have him cut her off again having him firmly repeat,

“Listen to me.”

As he continued to just stare into her eyes like he was staring into her very soul.  She silently stared back slightly nervous for what he was about to do to her, the possibilities endless in her head.  Slowly he said,

“I am not like your old handlers.”

He said emphasizing each word, never once breaking eye contact or wavering.  She sucked in a sharp breath of air not sure how to feel about this and the implications of what he meant.

“I will never be like your old handlers.”

He stated once again emphasizing his words making a silent promise to her though his eyes alone.  He would never hurt her like the others, he would not beat her, he would not force her to murder for no reason like they had.  He was different from the others, and he would never punish or prosecute her like they had done.  She didn’t say anything though as she continued to stare into his blue-green eyes looking for any sort of dishonesty or trickery.

“Trust me.”

He stated, though it was more of a question.  She swallowed nervously too scared to speak out of turn.  She wasn’t sure if he was looking for a verbal or non-verbal response and didn’t want to risk it.

“Speak.”

He demanded, though it was soft and non-aggressive.

“I can not trust you.”

She stated then paused for a second as she watched his eyes.  There was nothing in them that showed he was trying to trick her, but he could be hiding it well, she did not trust him, but he hasn’t given her a reason not to.  There seemed to be a bit of sorrow or disappointment at her words though, so she continued once she was sure,

“But I will believe you.”

She finished strongly.  He stared at her a little longer before sighing.

“That’s-yeah,”

He began as he let go of her face and took a step back from her.  There was acceptance and a sense of victory in his eyes.  Like he had done something that no one else ever could or would even if it was small.

“Okay.  Now, let’s go again, from the top.”

*

She had never said that to anyone before him, that was the first time she felt safe around any of her handlers.  It was a memory that she did not view lightly as it was a monumental moment at that time in her life.

“What about it Peter?  I don’t understand why that’s important right now?”

“Well you see Pix, back then you said that you didn’t trust me, but you did believe me.”

“Okay?  I still don’t get it.”

“Well Marin, how do you feel right now?  Do you trust me, or do you just believe me?”

He asked as he stared up at the few stars that were able to outshine the lights of the glowing city around them.  The cool April wind brushed past them, but they weren’t affected by it’s cool touch.  Marin bit her lip in thought as she contemplated his words.  Did she trust him?  She had trusted her father, but looked at where that had winded her up.  At the same time though, Jason had been there to help and defend her, he had trained her, saved her, covered for her, he never mocked her out of scorn or hate, he was always supporting her, and he even let her drive his most precious motorbike a few times.  So the question was, did she trust him or did she just believe him.  She smiled up at the stars and turned to her older brother in everything but blood and happily replied with all the confidence in the world,

“I trust you Jason, my Peter.  I trust you to Hell and back.”

He turned to her and smiled before saying,

“Don’t go there.  Been there done that Pix, and let me tell you it wasn’t fun.  0/10 stars, would not recommend.”

Marin scoffed in disbelief and started giggling as she punched him in the arm.

“You’re insufferable.”

She said in a fit of laughter, real laughter, not the forced laughs she did as Marinette, but genuine laughs that came from Marin.  She was who she was and currently she was free and didn't have to put on an act.  Not when she was around Peter, he understood her too well for her to ever pretend.  Damian also understood her well, but just not as well as Jason did.

“So, will you stay here then?”

She thought about this and after a few more moments of silence softly replied,

“Yea, I think I will.  You said that this place would be good for me, so I’m going to trust your judgment.”

Jason smiled as he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close to his side as he continued to stargaze.  She happily snuggled closer to his warmth as she too stared at the stars and felt at peace, like she was she needed to be.  There was a calming presence, the thing telling her she needed to be here singing praises to her as if she were finally home.

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