#rosekiller headcanon

[percesdead]

barty "lmao lets go fuck on my dads grave" crouch jr

evan "lmao lets do it" rosier

[bri-cheeses]

Evan and Barty randomly deciding to start acting like a couple as a joke and also partially to fool their friends, and they’re giggling about it for a full week because did their friends really accept that without comment and move on just like that??

Except what they don’t realize is they’re literally just acting the exact same as before, just with like maybe 30% more pet names than usual

[accio-sriracha]

Barty "Insanity can only exist if there is enough humanity left to fear it" Crouch.

And Evan "Dude, what the fuck" Rosier.

[fae-whispers]

evan “go fuck yourself” rosier and barty “fuck me yourself” crouch jr

[orchideous-nox]

hi hello, just your friendly reminder that barty has only ever bottomed for evan because he's the only person he trusts enough to give up control. cool, k bye.

[idesperatelyneedtoworkonmybook]

No no you are wrong I don't ship rosekiller I worship rosekiller.

[padfootsaphrodite]

Barty and Evan are the kind of people to take literal centuries to realize their feelings for each other and then get married the day after having their first kiss/confession.

[binvibin]

you’re telling me evan and barty didnt have tattooed rings on their fingers?? they said till death do us part and they meant it

[thorn-rosed]

Rosekiller is THAT couple that keeps having on and off relationships. Sometimes their breaks are longer (up to a few months) sometimes shorter (a few days/hours). But in the end they realize that they cant live without each other and try again.

They need one another to survive, yet they keep destroying each other. Its a deadly spiral of lust, love and madness.

[swag696942069]

I like to think that outta all the Marauders couples, Rosekiller is the healthiest.

Like, don't get me wrong, they're insane freaks

But they actually communicate with each other and stuff and they'll give each other space when needed, even though they are both crazily codependent

All their friends are confused when they try to talk to them about their relationship problems and they're like, "Wow, that's crazy. Couldn't be us."

It just comes easy to them.

They never see a reason to turn things into a fight, unless they wanna do it for funsies

So, in conclusion

While Rosekiller is insane, they do know how to communicate properly, and that's more than most of their friends

[drunktayloratthevmas]

I want the murder husbands rosekiller

The clingy rosekiller

The toxic rosekiller (no cheating I cannot with that)

The divorced parents

The exes to lovers

The coffee shop worker and the friend of the other barista comes to the cafe and they fall in love

The strangers to lovers

The enemies to lovers

The wrong number texting

The childhood best friends

The fluffy rosekiller

The flirty rosekiller

The smut rosekiller

The angsty rosekiller

The best friends brother rosekiller

The fake dating rosekiller

The Jealousy rosekiller

The married rosekiller

The mafia leaders rosekiller

The fwb rosekiller

The next Door neighbourd rosekiller

The end of the world rosekiller

The ice skating x hockey rosekiller

The teenage dirtbag x popular boy rosekiller

The music student x psychology student rosekiller

I NEED ROSEKILLER

[saddramaqueensworld]

I believe Rosekiller will definitely try to use a knife to make a scar of each other's names on their chest.

[bri-cheeses]

Pandora definitely makes flower crowns and hands them out to everyone. And “everyone” obviously incudes her twin brother, so there are plenty of days in the spring and summer where Evan’s just walking around with a flower crown on his head. If you comment on it, though, you will be hexed. Except for Barty, because he has special privileges. And because his comments are just saying how pretty Evan looks in his flower crown and how badly Barty wants to kiss him :3

[accio-sriracha]

September 19th ~Rosekiller ~ Word Count: 316 ~ Prompt: Cheek @rosekillermicrofic

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

Evan stopped Barty in the doorway, “You're drunk. Stay somewhere else.”

Barty recoiled, “Excuse me?” 

“You need to go.”

“Don't tell me what to do.” He shot back.

“You know, maybe I’d be nicer if you weren’t drinking yourself to death.”

“Oh, fuck this. I'm leaving. I’ll be the good guy and turn the other cheek.”

“The good guy? You're always manipulating me!”

“Bullshit! I’m not the one kickin’ you out!”

“You just always need a reaction from me. Why? Does it get you off? Is that it? Is it some sick fantasy of yours?”

“Shut up!” Barty shouted.

Evan kept going, “Why me, huh? I'm the only one you do this to. Does making me angry turn you on? Did it finally click that you're just a pathetic, sadistic, closeted little-”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Barty's words echoed in the silent room. He sighed, “You're right. I- I don't know how to... I'm in love with you, okay?” He blurted, "And I hurt you because it was easier than facing the truth."

It was a while before Evan managed to speak,

"You love me?" He whispered. Barty nodded,

"I always have."

Evan blew out a breath, “I love you too... Even though you’re a fucking maniac.”

Barty snorted, his eyes filled with tears, "Like you aren't just as crazy."

They jumped when a voice came from nowhere,

“Finally.” Regulus groaned, “I’ve been waiting for three years.”

“When the fuck did you get here?”

Regulus rolled his eyes, “I’ve been here all morning, nitwit. I’m still waiting for you idiots to kiss.”

Evan looked back to find Barty was already staring, he looked nervous. 

Evan didn’t hesitate, surging forward to kiss the absolute mess of a fucking man that he loved with all his heart.

Sure, they were toxic, maybe even a little insane. But somehow, they worked. And what kind of love isn’t a little crazy?

[whydousernamesevenexist]

Okay but Evan "I just want someone who doesn't get bored of me and leaves" Rosier and Barty "I just want someone who doesn't get scared of me and sends me away" Crouch Jr