#harry potter marauders era

[bimrwolf]

Lines We've Crossed (Part 1)

sirius black x reader words: 9,550 warnings: angst??? kissy kissy ... yearning summary: Navigating friendship with Sirius Black has always been tricky—his teasing smirks, his easy charm, the way he always seems to be there when you need him. But lately, things feel... different. Unspoken feelings and jealous glances start to creep in, fueled by a tense confrontation and a heartache you don’t want to name. Between rainy Hogsmeade weekends, stolen kisses that weren’t meant for you, and sharp words you can’t take back, the bond you’ve shared begins to fray. As the shadow of war grows darker at Hogwarts, so do the emotions tangled between you and Sirius, forcing you to face the one thing you’ve been avoiding: the truth about how you really feel—and whether Sirius might feel the same. a/n: yeah so i said i'd never write HP fanfics.... here we are lol Part 1 | Part 2 (coming soon)

Thunder rolled and rain pelted against the stone of the Hogwarts castle. You sat in the Gryffindor common room, pouting as you stared out the window. It was a Hogsmeade weekend, but no one necessarily wanted to trudge through the cold, wet rain. A book you had neglected lay nestled in your lap, while your now-cold hot chocolate sat untouched beside you.

You tried to tell yourself it didn’t matter. That Rowan Fairfax canceling on you last minute wasn’t worth the way your stomach twisted every time you replayed the conversation in your head. He had been the one to suggest going to Hogsmeade together, even offered to buy you a butterbeer. But when you asked this morning if he wanted to walk there with you, he’d mumbled something about the rain and avoided your gaze entirely.

It wasn’t just disappointment. It was the way he didn’t even say, Maybe another time. It left you with the sinking feeling that he wasn’t interested anymore. Maybe he never had been.

The thought burned more than you wanted to admit.

You rested your chin in your hand, trying to focus on the rain instead of the sharp ache in your chest. Normally, you’d brush something like this off. But today, it lingered, twisting your thoughts into knots. Was it you? Had you done something wrong?

Your spiraling was interrupted by the sound of the portrait hole opening, followed by familiar chuckles. Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter sauntered in, their voices carrying through the room.

“There she is!” Sirius called, his voice breaking through your melancholy. You turned, startled, as he strode toward you with that same boyish grin he always wore, sliding onto the couch beside you and throwing an arm around your shoulders.

The contact made your skin prickle with warmth, but you quickly shoved the feeling aside.

“We were just talking about you,” Sirius added with a teasing smirk.

Despite yourself, you smiled. Sirius had been one of your best friends since second year. His presence was so familiar it felt like a safety net—steady, dependable, constant. But sometimes, especially moments like this, it felt like too much. Like you were hyperaware of him in ways you shouldn’t be.

James leaned against the back of the couch, grinning. “We were wondering why you weren’t with Lily at Hogsmeade.”

Your stomach sank again at the mention of Hogsmeade. You frowned, turning your gaze back to the window. “I didn’t feel like getting wet.”

Sirius tightened his arm around your shoulders in an exaggerated gesture, his tone full of mock disbelief. “You know there are these objects called umbrellas?”

You nudged him playfully, rolling your eyes. “To level with you, it’s not just the rain. I guess I’m not really in the mood.”

The boys exchanged looks, and Peter let out an exaggerated gasp.

“This is one of the last Hogsmeade weekends before the end of term!” Sirius exclaimed, leaning forward to meet your gaze. His pale grey eyes, always so soft when they looked at you, were filled with genuine confusion.

You tried to hold his gaze, but something about it made your chest ache. “I know,” you mumbled, shaking Sirius off of you. As you moved away from him, you ignored the way his expression faltered. “Thank you for thinking of me, but I’m okay. Really.” 

They all shrugged. Peter sat down and took out a fresh cauldron cake he must have bought at Honeydukes. You started to analyze them and their clothes. Then their hair. “You four came back from Hogsmeade just now?” 

“Yes,” they said. 

“Then how are you all so dry? You look like you haven’t stepped outside.” Sure there were drying spells, but you would still be able to tell they had gotten wet. 

They all looked at one another again, a silent agreement amongst each other. Their eyes wide in panic, clearly hiding something from you. Sirius looked at James, shrugging, but James shook his head vigorously, that if he said anything he’d be dead. 

It was always fascinating to see them communicate without words because James, Remus, and Peter decided to go up to their dorm, leaving you and Sirius alone. You didn’t know if Sirius had won the wordless argument, but he had gotten his way somehow. Sirius quickly changed the subject. “Come on. I’ll go to Hogsmeade with you. Let me buy you a butterbeer.” He had that cheeky grin that he always gave you when he tried to persuade you into doing something. You felt your eyes roll and cheeks heat up at his smirk. You were happy the other boys had left.

“Heard that one before.” You let out a sigh. 

“Huh?” 

You shook your head, kind of grateful he didn’t know. It saved you from embarrassment. “Doesn’t matter.” You bit your lip, looking over at him. “I told you I don’t feel like walking so far in the rain.” 

He smiled again, standing up, holding out his arm for you to take. “Do you trust me?” 

You raised a brow, scoffing. “Yes but–” 

“Then believe me when I tell you the way we’re going, you will not get a single drop of rain on you.” His smile was ear to ear. 

Since first year, Sirius was a mischievous boy. And it never helped that James Potter encouraged the behavior. So it really didn’t surprise you when he showed you the secret passage to Hogsmeade. Sirius made you swear never to tell anyone about it. Ever. 

The pair of you snuck out of Honeydukes, holding in laughter as Sirius had snagged a candy bar from the cellar you ended up in. 

The two of you ran to the Three Broomsticks under an umbrella. Sirius instructed you to find a seat while he retrieved the beverages, which you happily agreed to. You always loved the warmth of The Three Broomsticks. Secretly, you were happy Sirius offered to come with you because the more you thought about it, you’d regret not going. 

You found a table, making your way, smiling wide as you imagined the warm butterscotch. You admired the cozy spot you picked out. You felt better already even when you heard a shrill giggle a few tables over. You looked over, still smiling. You had looked away but looked back, doing a double take. Your face fell. 

It was Rowan Fairfax, sitting across from some blonde haired girl you’ve never seen before. Your eyes narrowed and you faced forward, fists clenched. Sirius noticed right away when he appeared with his hands carrying two pints of butterbeer. “Everything okay?” He set your cup in front of you, slightly startled when you grasped it aggressively, taking a large swig, wiping off the foam from your lip. He watched you in bewilderment as your chair scraped against the wooden floor. You stormed up to Rowan, arms crossed. 

“Not going to Hogsmeade, I see.” Your voice was cool and laced with tiny daggers. 

Rowan’s eyes were wide at the sight of you. He laughed nervously. “Oh… uh… it lightened up so I decided to come. See, I was trying to look for you because I thought maybe you still came but I–” 

You smiled sweetly at him, putting your hand up to stop him from talking. “Oh no! I understand, don’t worry.” 

“You do?” He asked, shoulders relaxing.  

Your smile turned icy as you looked the blonde up and down. “Absolutely! It’s not everyday you find a living thing out of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.” You felt bad, the girl looked nice, but you were fuming with rage. 

Rowan snorted, leaning back in his chair. “Funny. Seems like you’re managing just fine.” He glanced at Sirius behind you, who looked confused about what was going on. “I admit the rain wasn’t the reason I didn’t want to go with you. Maybe it’s because your hands are already occupied by someone else.” 

You furrowed your brows. “What the hell are you talking about, Fairfax?”

“Please,” he guffawed. “Don’t act obtuse. We both know I’m talking about Black! Everyone believes the two of you are already dating.” 

You didn’t expect him to say that. Your face softened but it didn’t stop you from feeling the sting of his words. He gave you a pointed look, smirking. “Or maybe you didn’t notice?” He leaned back looking again where Sirius sat. “You don’t really exactly stop the rumors, do you? Here with him alone and all.” 

Through clenched teeth you finally answered, “For your information. We are just friends.” The irritation in your voice was clear. “Everyone knows we’re only friends.”

“Not sure that’s true. Look at you. You didn’t even wait two minutes to drag him here. I guess you kind of enjoy it. Letting him be your bi–” 

You had had enough. You took the first thing you saw, which happened to be the blonde’s butterbeer. You dumped the rest of the contents all over Rowan. “What the–” The golden liquid ran down his face, soaking into his hair. The girl gasped, but you caught her hiding a smile behind her hand. The entire pub went silent as Rowan sputtered curses at you. 

You didn’t look at Sirius. You couldn’t. The only option you had was to storm out. 

The cool rain drops burned as it fell on your skin.You had your arms crossed against your chest, looking down at the ground. There goes not getting wet. 

It wasn’t long until you heard Sirius calling out your name, his voice was faint at first. He had always been a fast runner, quickly catching up to you. He was breathless but he had gently grabbed your elbow so you’d turn around. He had the umbrella sticking out, letting it shield you from the rain. 

He didn’t know what to say, you could tell. He gave you a small smile. “I promised you wouldn’t get wet…” He tried to joke but he frowned when your jaw ticked. “Listen, I don’t know what Rowan Fairfax said to you but… he’s always kind of been a pompous thickheaded toad.” 

He was only trying to help you feel better but in some way, he was making it worse. Your anger was bubbling again. Your eyes were locked on the ground. The storm inside you was wild as ever. 

“Sirius, I don’t need you to come to my rescue. Not now. Not ever.” You tried to keep your voice steady, and you achieved that by not looking him in the eye. 

He blinked, clearly confused. He looked unsure what to say. “I’m not trying to. I was only making sure you were okay…” 

Your frustration rolled out of you like thunder. “Why do you even care, Sirius?” You narrowed your eyes at him. “We’re not even a couple. You and me. Right?” 

He took a step back. “Of course we’re not. I never said we were. But it doesn’t stop me from caring about you.” 

“Oh sure,” you interrupted him. Your voice was sharp. “Have you ever thought about how many boyfriends I’ve had in all my years at Hogwarts?” 

“What does that have to do–”

“Just answer my question! How many?” You asked, your heart was pounding against your chest. 

He opened his mouth to answer, but quickly closed it. Your lip quivered, swallowing the lump in your throat. “Exactly. None. Not even one. Because apparently, anyone who has ever been interested in me backs off. You know why? Because of you, Sirius. Everyone assumes we’re more than just friends.” You couldn’t help but laugh. “Isn’t that ridiculous?” 

You ignored how Sirius’ face dropped slightly at the last comment. “I never meant… I didn’t know.” 

You wiped your face. You weren’t sure what was rain or tears anyway. “I just want to be left alone, Sirius. Let’s just only associate with one another when we’re in big groups, okay? No more of… everything.” 

Sirius completely backed away from you. His jaw clenched. He didn’t say anything else to you as he turned back around to head into Hogsmeade. You were certain he was going to the secret entrance, possibly to get back to the castle sooner. You let out a shaky cry once he was gone from view, feeling more alone than ever. Something ached in your chest, like lightning cracking in your lungs. The storm didn’t feel like it was over. 

***

It wasn’t long for the group to feel the tension between you and Sirius. They quickly caught on to the way neither of you looked at each other anymore, how you never spoke directly to him, and how, most of all, Sirius wasn’t all over you. The absence of his usual teasing, his arm slung casually around your shoulders, or even the occasional stolen laugh between you—it was glaring.

They didn’t question it, but it was obvious.

It was the week of the Quidditch Final, and Gryffindor was up against Slytherin. The energy in the Great Hall was palpable, students buzzing with excitement. You, on the other hand, stared listlessly at your plate, poking at your eggs as you sat with Lily far from the boys. You knew they were at their usual spot, probably going on about strategies or Quidditch plays.

Lily was smiling softly, her eyes drifting toward James as she talked about how she had never noticed how fit he was.

You smirked, half-listening, watching the way her green eyes kept sneaking glances across the hall. “Can’t believe you finally caved,” you teased lightly.

“What do you mean?” she asked, her tone far too innocent as she blinked up at you.

“Please.” You gave her a knowing look. “You definitely fancy James Potter after all these years rejecting him.”

Her cheeks flushed a deep red, and she ducked her head, rubbing at her temple. “I do not... I mean...” She sighed, burying her face in her hands. “He’s not all that bad now. He’s less arrogant, and I don’t know... oh god, what am I going to do?”

You chuckled quietly at her melodrama. “Suppose you’re going to the game then?” you asked, trying to keep the tone light.

“If it means watching Slytherin officially lose the House Cup, then yes,” she said, her gaze flicking across the hall to where Severus Snape sat, his expression sour as always.

Normally, Lily was the first to roll her eyes at the Gryffindor-Slytherin rivalry. But ever since last year—since Snape had called her that name—it felt like something fundamental had shifted in her. You could see it in the way she carried herself, the way her words were just a bit sharper when Slytherins were involved.

You sighed, glancing toward Sirius almost reflexively, even though you told yourself not to. He was on the other side of the hall, a boisterous ringleader as always, getting most of the Gryffindors to join in a chant encouraging James.

Lily smiled at the scene, clearly charmed by the way James tried to hide his embarrassment. Sirius, on the other hand, was utterly shameless, leaping onto the table with Peter and Remus, their arms slung around each other as they swayed to the beat of their own chant.

You couldn’t help but notice the way James’ face lit up when he caught Lily’s gaze. His grin softened into something more vulnerable, more genuine. And Lily, for all her teasing and denial, smiled back, her green eyes gleaming with a happiness you hadn’t seen in her for a while.

You realized, in that moment, that their relationship had shifted. And it would change everything.

You weren’t sure why that realization sat so heavily in your chest. Was it because you envied how easy it seemed for them now? Or was it the fear that everyone was moving forward while you felt stuck?

Your jaw clenched as your gaze fell on Sirius. He was still on the table, completely oblivious to the scolding look Professor McGonagall was shooting his way. He didn’t seem to care. He never did.

And yet, even as McGonagall reprimanded him and took points from Gryffindor, Sirius showed no reaction. He didn’t flinch, didn’t argue, didn’t flash the defiant smirk you’d come to expect from him. He just climbed down, brushing it off like it didn’t matter.

But what frustrated you most wasn’t his reaction—or lack thereof. It was the way he didn’t look at you. His eyes didn’t meet yours across the hall. There was no shared smile, no playful glint.

Instead, he laughed along with James and Remus as if nothing had changed.

Your blood simmered, the boil low and slow, until you realized your fists had clenched under the table. Why does it bother me so much?

You told yourself it was because he wasn’t the same Sirius anymore. He wasn’t your Sirius—the boy who had been your best friend, your anchor. The boy who used to make you feel seen.

It infuriated you because you didn’t even know why it hurt.

Without thinking, you stood up abruptly.

Lily jumped at the sudden movement, startled. “What are you doing?”

You opened your mouth, trying to find an excuse, but nothing came. Instead, you pressed your lips together, the words caught in your throat. “Save me a seat at the game, will you?” you mumbled, your voice tight as you grabbed your bag and scurried off before she could ask more questions.

As you left the hall, your thoughts churned like a storm.

You didn’t want to admit the truth—not even to yourself—but the ache in your chest wasn’t just frustration. It was jealousy, tangled up with hurt and longing in a way that made you feel exposed. Vulnerable.

And it was all because of Sirius.

***

You hadn’t realized Gryffindor had won. The entire game your eyes were glued to Peter who sat by Remus who sat by Sirius who had his arm around a fifth year Hufflepuff, Piper. Your chest felt as if it was collapsing. Your fists were clenched and you were certain if you turned your palms up, indents from your nails would be tattooed into your skin. 

Everytime a chaser from Gryffindor scored. But when James was the one to score, his friends would stand up and cheer. Piper would also stand, clapping her hands, a shrill cheer came out of her. 

The cheers of the crowd swelled around you, Gryffindor red and gold blurring into a sea of celebration. But none of it reached you. Your focus remained fixed, not on the players darting through the air or the roar of James Potter's spectacular goal, but on Sirius.

He was perched in the stands, his arm slung casually over Piper, his easy smile pulling a laugh from her lips. You hated the sound of it. Hated how easily he could charm her—or anyone, really. Sirius Black, the boy who could make friends with a stone if he tried hard enough, was just there, as he always was, and yet, it felt unbearable.

You told yourself you were being ridiculous. Why should it matter? You were upset about the tension between you, about the argument you’d had weeks ago. That’s all it was. Right? That was the reason your chest tightened every time Piper leaned into him, her blonde hair brushing against his shoulder, her laugh echoing in your ears like a mocking taunt.

But when his gaze flicked over to you, just for a moment, and his lips quirked in that familiar sheepish smile—the one that had always felt like it was meant for you alone—your breath caught. It was as if the world had paused, the noise of the match fading into the background. Your stomach twisted, a strange fizzing sensation spreading through you, warm and dizzying and utterly unshakable.

And that’s when it hit you.

You liked Sirius.

No—liked wasn’t strong enough. You cared for him in a way you hadn’t fully allowed yourself to understand before. It was the way your heart raced when he smiled, the way you felt seen when he met your eyes, the way you always seemed to gravitate toward him, even when you were angry.

It was why the sight of his arm around Piper burned like a brand, why your chest ached with a mix of longing and bitterness. You wanted to be the one sitting there, the one making him laugh. You wanted him to hold you the way he was holding her.

Your stomach dropped at the realization. You had been so careful to keep him at arm’s length, to shove those feelings into a corner of your mind and lock them away. But seeing him now, so carefree and entirely out of reach, made it impossible to deny.

The game continued in a blur after that, James scoring again and again, the Gryffindor stands erupting with joy. Lily jumped to her feet beside you, her cheers sharp and triumphant as she hurled taunts at the Slytherin team. Sirius, catching on, shouted something equally bold in her direction. “Hell yeah, Evans!” And she grinned back at him.

You forced a smile, even as your chest tightened. His pale eyes darted to you, his smile softening, like he was testing the waters between you. For a fleeting second, it felt like old times—before the fight, before the distance. But just as quickly as the moment came, it vanished, replaced by Piper’s giggle as she leaned closer to whisper in his ear.

Your heart sank, your fists clenching in your lap. The truth was undeniable now, sharp and unwelcome, but there it was: you liked Sirius Black. And he was sitting beside someone else, grinning as if he didn’t have a care in the world.

You turned your attention back to the game, blinking away the stinging in your eyes as Gryffindor clinched the victory. Around you, your housemates erupted into cheers, Lily throwing her arms around you in excitement. But even as you hugged her back, the ache in your chest refused to subside.

Everyone waited for the team back in the common room which had been decorated in celebration. Lily waited anxiously, hands fidgeting, peering over the crowd of people as the portrait swung open. As if on cue, Peter, Remus, and Sirius appeared with a crate full of butterbeers and sweet snacks. 

Sirius handed you a butterbeer, hands momentarily grazing when you took it… apprehensively. The look he gave you made you swallow the shared secret of how they even acquired a crate full of treats from Honeydukes. No one else knew. And you were sure you weren’t supposed to, but Sirius had trusted you. 

A pang of guilt washed over you. 

He smiled, teeth sparkling out the corner of his mouth. Maybe you two should talk? As soon as the thought crossed your mind, he had already left you, making his way handing out more butterbeers around the room. 

You chugged the glass bottle down, “Are you going to drink yours?” You pointed to Lily’s glass. 

She broke from her daze, staring at James across the room. She looked at the bottle in her hand, shaking her head and giving it to you. Her brows furrowed, concerned how quickly you drank her bottle too, wiping the fizz from your lips with the back of your hand. “Okay, what is going on with you?” 

You looked away, trying not to give away that your mind was occupied with confusing thoughts that you hadn’t figured out yourself. so you lied. “I feel like exams are looming over us.” 

Lily‘s eyes narrowed, scanning you up and down as if she wasn’t entirely convinced. “You do great in all your classes.” 

You hummed. You noticed her attention flickered back over to James. “Are you going to ogle him the entire night or are you going to go talk to him?” 

She frowned and you laughed at her reaction. “Will you just slow down on the butterbeers.” She commented after you had convinced Peter to give you another one. Her hand gently placed on the bottle. “You’ll outdrink the entire team.”

You waved her off, your cheeks flushing from more than just the warmth of the butterbeer. “It’s a celebration, isn’t it?”

She chuckled, removing her hand. “Fine, but only because I’m hoping you loosen up a little.” 

“Loosen up?” you repeated, slightly offended, but she only smirked and gave you a pointed look.

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed. It has nothing to do with exams,” she said, leaning closer. “You and Sirius… something’s been off for weeks. Care to explain?”

You froze, your hand gripping the neck of your second butterbeer. “There’s nothing to explain,” you muttered, avoiding her gaze.

“Oh, please,” Lily scoffed, crossing her arms. “I’ve seen the way you two look at each other when you think no one’s watching.”

Your jaw ticked, avoiding her gaze, bringing the bottle to your lips. Your eyes flicked to Sirius laughing, throwing his arm around James as they cheered. You could hear him telling the crowd a play by play of James. Your lips betrayed you, lifting into a small smile. Your stomach twisted when his gaze landed on you, returning the smile but it looked a little sad. Maybe you should talk to him. 

“Lovesick,” Lily nudged you. 

“Lily!” you hissed, glancing around to ensure no one overheard.

“Well, am I wrong?” she pressed, arching a perfectly manicured brow.

You sighed, rubbing your temples. “It’s complicated. We had a… disagreement, that’s all. He’s just a friend. End of story.” Liar. 

Lily didn’t look convinced. “If you say so,” she said lightly, but the knowing glint in her eye remained. She glanced across the room at Sirius, who was animatedly recounting something to James and Remus, his voice carrying over the buzz of the party. For a moment, her gaze softened, and you could tell she wanted to say more. 

But she didn’t and eventually, she caved. Her and James had found themselves on a loveseat. His arm draped over the back, listening to her talk. You on the other hand, had managed to acquire more butterbeers. You weren’t drunk. You felt lighter. That’s what you told Peter who caught you when you tripped on a corner of a table. “Do… you know where Sirius is? I need to have a few words with him.” You stood tall, attempting to make a serious face. 

He looked around. “I’m not sure. He said he was going to get more snacks but that was ages ago.” He frowned, putting a hand on his stomach. “I was looking forward to some Cherry Tarts. I’ll let him know you’re looking for him!” Peter smiled bright at you. 

You couldn’t help but look disappointed. “It’s alright. I think I’m going to go out and get some fresh air.” 

He gave you a knowing look, patting you on the shoulder. As you weaved through the crowds you wondered if he saw right through you. It was impossible, you didn’t even know what there was to see. 

Someone grabbed your arm as you approached the portrait. The grasp wasn’t tight, but firm enough for you to stop in your tracks. Remus towered over you, his face shadowed with forewarning. “Why don’t you go to bed?” His voice was soft, mixed with something else you couldn’t place your finger on. 

“Why? It’s not that late.” You laughed. It was a lie. It was really late. Professor McGonagall would soon make an appearance to shut the festivities down. Or maybe she wouldn’t because Gryffindor had won the House Cup and the term would be over soon. 

He took in a sharp breath. “You look… will you just go to bed?” 

You pulled away from him. “I already told Peter, I’m not drunk. Okay, yes I had a few butterbeers but I’m not going to fall down the stairs or anything of that sort. I only want to feel the night breeze on my face.” 

Something was on the tip of his tongue, his lips parted but it stayed stuck there. He was hiding something. Which meant your curiosity was much more important than his concern for your wellbeing. You opened the portrait, not giving him another look as you left the tower. You had expected there to be something dangerous on the other side from his foreboding tone but nothing of the sort was lingering around. 

You strolled past different paintings, most of them asleep. You always loved the castle at night. You weren’t exactly allowed to be wandering the halls, but you weren’t planning to go far from the common room. You found a spot, a ledge of the castle where you could see the night sky. You sighed, leaning against the cool stone ledge, willing the breeze to clear your thoughts. It wasn’t as if Sirius hadn’t always been like this—charming, magnetic, always surrounded by people who gravitated toward him like moths to a flame. You had spent years watching it, laughing it off. So why now? Why did it feel like something sharp was wedged under your ribs every time Piper giggled at something he said?

Shaking your head, you pushed off the ledge and wandered back toward the common room, your footsteps echoing softly in the quiet corridor. But as you rounded a corner, you froze. There they were, just ahead—Sirius and Piper.

Your first instinct was to turn back, but something stopped you. Maybe it was the way Piper leaned into him, her voice hushed and sweet as she whispered something in his ear. Maybe it was the way he smiled back at her, that easy, natural smile that used to feel like it was yours.

And then, before you could look away, Sirius tilted his head, his hands cradling her face as he kissed her.

The sight hit you like a Bludger to the chest, knocking the air from your lungs. You stood frozen, your heart racing, as a mix of emotions crashed over you. Jealousy, sharp and biting, surged to the surface, followed by an ugly wave of self-doubt. Why her?

Your eyes lingered on the way his fingers tangled gently in her hair, the way her hands gripped his arms as though he was hers to hold. He looked so... confident, so sure of himself. So completely comfortable in a way that made your stomach churn.

Had he ever thought about kissing you like that? The thought burned, and you hated yourself for letting it linger. But as you stood there, unable to tear your gaze away, you couldn’t stop your mind from spiraling.

What does she have that I don’t? She was pretty, of course. A Hufflepuff—bright and cheerful and bubbly in a way that made her impossible not to like. But it wasn’t just that. There was something effortless about her, something easy. She fit into Sirius’ world in a way you never seemed to.

You bit your lip, your fists clenching at your sides. You could feel the sting of tears threatening to brim, but you refused to let them fall. Instead, anger bubbled up, hot and unrelenting. You were angry at him for doing this—angry at her for being the one in his arms—and most of all, angry at yourself for caring so much.

I shouldn’t feel this way, you told yourself. He doesn’t even know. Doesn’t care. Why would he? Perhaps that’s why you were irritated that Rowan mentioned no guy wanted to be with you because of Sirius. No guy wanted to be with you, not even Sirius. You were undesirable. 

Your thoughts were interrupted by the faint sound of a giggle, and it twisted the knife deeper. Sirius leaned closer, his lips brushing against hers again, and you suddenly couldn’t take it anymore. 

You needed to leave. To put as much distance as possible between yourself and this scene.

But as you turned, you collided with something solid. Peeves.

“Peeper!” the poltergeist cackled gleefully, his voice loud enough to echo down the corridor. You stumbled back, wide-eyed, your cover blown.

Sirius and Piper broke apart instantly, both turning toward the noise. Piper flushed, quickly adjusting her jumper, her embarrassment clear. But Sirius’ reaction was different. His jaw tightened, his expression hardening as his storm-grey eyes locked onto yours.

You stood there for a moment, rooted to the spot, your emotions a mess of humiliation, anger, and something far too raw to name.

“Brilliant,” you muttered under your breath, cursing Peeves as you spun on your heel and stormed back toward the common room. Your footsteps were quick and loud against the stone floor, but they didn’t drown out the sound of Sirius calling your name.

You approached the portrait, clenching your eyes tight as you tried to remember what the password was. 

Tears brimmed the corner of your eyes, burning as you attempted not to let them fall. “Pickle Goblin,” you croaked. The portrait swung open. 

The party had fizzled out. James and Lily were still talking. Remus was on the other side of the room, reading. Peter must have already gone to bed. You stormed inside, ignoring a cheerful greeting from Lily. 

Remus quickly stood up, saying your name sympathetically. 

“Not now,” you choked. The portrait swung open, Sirius’s eyes wide. His hair was disheveled and the little hope you had wanted to believe it was from running after you. He was out of breath, but managed to call your name. You stopped at the door that led to your dormitory. 

Bystanders quickly scurried off to their own dormitories, only leaving you, Sirius, and your friends. You turned around, placing a pretend smile on your face. “Yes?” 

He swallowed, looking over at James, begging for help. “Are we okay?” 

You tilted your head, the smile on your face never reaching your eyes. “Are we okay?” You repeated the words to yourself, looking around the room as if the answer was floating in the air. Your voice was strained and dripped with incredulity. 

He didn’t flinch. His gaze held yours but you saw the flicker of regret. Or perhaps it was frustration, you couldn’t tell. “I mean…” he started, running a hand through his hair. “I just want to fix this. Whatever this is.” 

Lily started to approach you, but you held a hand up, stopping her. “Fix this? Do you even know what this is? You can’t even say it.” 

James shifted awkwardly, tugging Lily back gently by her wrist. "Maybe we should —" he began, but Sirius shot him a look that made him stop mid-sentence.

"Of course I know," Sirius said, his voice lower now, almost pleading. "You stopped talking to me. You-"

Your laugh interrupted him. Remus had stood up this time, saying your name in a warning tone. “Stopped talking to you? Sirius I only told you the truth and you refused to listen to me. I told you we couldn’t do this anymore. We couldn’t do this anymore.” 

“What does that even mean?” His voice got louder. He was frustrated. 

“Exactly! Don’t you see, Sirius. We’ve always been a this. Always close friends who were always together. Always a little too close always giving each other looks that we only know. But never a this that is anything more. And because of that, no one has or will ever see me as anything but your shadow. Not Rowan, not Piper, not even you. Maybe they’re all right. Maybe that’s all I am. In fact, I think you like it because you know that I will do all of those things with no benefits. ” You broke, and your voice quivered. 

Your words hung in the air, suffocating and bitter. 

His face shifted and the confusion left. It was unreadable but you noticed the birthmark above his left eyebrow, knowing it only appeared when he was angry. He answered quietly, “That’s not fair.” 

"Fair?" you repeated, letting out a humorless laugh. "Fair? You think this is about fairness, Sirius? It's about the fact that you're out there snogging Piper while I'm-while I'm-" You stopped yourself, realizing what you were about to admit, and shook your head violently. "You know what? It doesn't matter."

"Of course it matters!" Sirius stepped closer, but you took a step back, your heart pounding.

"No, it doesn't," you said firmly, your voice dropping to a whisper. "Because nothing is going to change. You'll keep being you, and I'll keep being the person no one looks at twice. So, no, Sirius. We are not okay."

For a moment, he just stared at you, his lips pressing into a thin line as if he was holding back a thousand things he wanted to say.

But whatever they were, they never came.

You turned on your heel, your shoulders trembling as you climbed the stairs to your dormitory. You heard James mutter something under his breath, followed by Sirius letting out a frustrated growl.

But you didn't turn around. You didn't look back.

When you finally reached your bed, you collapsed onto it, letting the tears fall freely now.

Somewhere deep down, you had wanted him to fight harder. To say something, anything, that might have made this hurt less. But he didn't.

***

Much like you expected, end of year exams were dreadful. Time dragged on. Nothing was happening except the alarm that the dark wizard, Voldermort was apparently getting stronger and his army was growing little by little. 

There were hushed whispers and rumors that there were Hogwarts students that held allegiance to him. Most of them were Slytherins. 

You hadn’t really had time to even notice the lingering ache of unspoken words whenever you would see Sirius. The tension between you was thick, and if it weren’t for exams, you’d probably drown in it, smothered to death. 

It was easier to busy yourself with studying and homework. You would spend hours in the library, mountains of scrolls for each of your classes. 

Yet, Sirius still found a way to creep into your thoughts. He was unshakeable. It irritated you. Your absentminded tapping against a table forced Lily to stop studying with you.

It was late in the evening when you made your way from the library. You yawned, grateful tomorrow was your last day of exams. The hallways were quiet, and your footsteps echoed, bouncing off the stone wall. You had passed a few ghosts, mumbling about “They’re arguing again.” 

You thought it was weird. Anyone could be arguing but when you turned a corner, you stopped in your tracks. Low, heated voices caught your attention. Two figures were arguing near a tapestry. Sirius and his brother Regulus. 

Regulus looked much like his brother, dark hair, cool eyes. His robes were adorned in Slytherin green. 

Regulus stood rigid. Face stone cold. 

Sirius looked like a storm, hair disheveled, hands gesturing wildly as he spoke. ”I’m not returning and it’s final.” Sirius had run away from home in the middle of the summer holiday, before the school term began. You never saw Regulus and Sirius talk much since then. Only pointed looks full of disappointment from both brothers. 

Regulus crossed his arms. “Because you’re a coward. You’d rather be running around with your pack of strays. You ran away from your family and your responsibilities–” 

“My responsibilities?” Sirius cut in, his voice rising with incredulity. “You mean their leash, their expectations. Their madness. I’m not going to waste my life playing puppet to a cause I despise.” The venom in his tone startled you, even though you’d heard him speak of his family with bitterness before. This was different. It was rawer. More desperate.

Regulus’ face didn’t falter, but his hands clenched at his sides. “You think you’re better than us? That leaving makes you noble?”

“No,” Sirius said, his voice quieter now but no less cutting. “But at least I can live with myself.”

Regulus flinched, his composure slipping for a moment before his expression hardened again. “You’ll regret this, Sirius. You’ll see how wrong you are.”

With that, he turned on his heel and disappeared into the shadows of the corridor, leaving Sirius alone.

For a moment, you considered leaving before Sirius noticed you. This was personal, a side of him he hadn’t chosen to share with you. But before you could slip away, he turned, his storm-grey eyes meeting yours. The air between you felt electric, charged with emotions you couldn’t quite name.

“How much did you hear?” he asked, his tone clipped, the sharpness in his voice not quite masking the exhaustion in his eyes.

You hesitated, unsure if honesty was the right move. “Enough,” you admitted softly. “Sirius—”

“Don’t,” he said, cutting you off as he ran a hand through his hair, his frustration palpable. “Just... don’t. I’m fine.”

The lie was glaringly obvious, but his tone left little room for argument. Your chest tightened as you watched him, wanting to reach out, to tell him he didn’t have to go through this alone. But the wall he’d put up between you was unyielding, brick by stubborn brick.

“Are you sure you’re—”

“I said I’m fine,” he snapped, his voice sharp and cutting. His grey eyes met yours, but they weren’t soft or kind like they used to be—they were cold, stormy. “Why do you even care, anyway? I thought we weren’t even friends.”

The words hit you like a hex, stealing the breath from your lungs. You blinked, stunned, as the sting of his dismissal sank in.

“That’s not fair, Sirius,” you said softly, your voice trembling despite your best efforts.

“Fair?” he repeated with a bitter laugh, his hands clenching into fists at his sides. “You made it clear, didn’t you? You don’t want anything to do with me. So why start pretending to care now?”

You felt heat rise in your cheeks, anger and hurt warring inside you. “You don’t mean that.”

“Don’t I?” he shot back, his voice cracking slightly before he turned away, running a hand through his hair again. “Just... leave it, alright?”

The sharpness of his words sliced through you, leaving you frozen in place as he strode down the corridor, his footsteps echoing in the silence. You stood there, alone and hollow, as the ache in your chest grew heavier, threatening to swallow you whole.

You couldn’t sleep. The dormitory had settled into a quiet hum of steady breathing but you lay awake, staring at the canopy above your bed. Lily had noticed you were upset, but you shrugged her off, pretending to fall asleep before everyone else. 

You tried to tell yourself it wasn’t your place to worry. He didn’t want your help and pushing him would only make him more distant than he already was. It wasn’t that you wanted to stop being friends with him. You guess you just had realized you didn’t know how to be friends with him after learning your friendship was the reason boys didn’t want to date you. 

None of your racing thoughts stopped the gnawing worry, watching him argue with his brother, who you knew he was once close to. 

Finally, unable to take the stillness of your bed any longer, you slipped out from under the covers and padded down to the common room. You knew someone had the same idea when you saw the fire, low but still glowing, casting flickering shadows across the space.

Your heart skipped a beat when you recognized that person to be Sirius. He sat on the sofa facing the fire, his head resting against the back, his gaze fixed on the dying embers. His hair looked tousled, hanging over the edge. You considered turning back, afraid he might snap at you again. But something in the slump of his shoulders stopped you. 

You didn’t say anything, but you walked into view, offering him a half-hearted smile. His eyes, though tired, didn’t hold the same sharpness as before. His face softened, gesturing wordlessly to the spot next to him. You approached cautiously, sinking into the seat. 

The silence and tension pressed down on your chest, trying to decide what to say. 

“I shouldn’t have been harsh,” he said finally, his voice rough and low. 

You shook your head, your throat tight. “It’s okay. I was just worried.” 

He gave you a small smile, making you feel that weird fizz in you again. “I never told you why I ran away from home. Did I?” 

You shook your head. 

He let out a humorless laugh, looking back at the fire. For a long moment, he didn’t respond. He fixed his gaze back to you, eyes heavy with a pain you couldn’t describe. “She wanted me to take the Mark.” 

“What?” The air left your lungs in a rush, but your brows furrowed, somewhat hoping it wasn’t what you thought he meant. 

His lips pursed. “My mother,” he answered, his tone bitter. “She wanted me to bear the Dark Mark. Pledge my allegiance to V… the Dark Lord. Said it was my duty.” He paused, his hands clenching to fists. “That’s why I left. I didn’t even pack. I left everything. I didn’t even say goodbye to Reg and I know a part of him hates that I didn’t. But if I had… I don’t think I would’ve gone through with it.” 

He rubbed his face, sighing. “And now my biggest fear is playing out. Regulus is beginning to truly believe the lies of my family. I’m sure it’s my mothers doing.” 

Your heart twisted. “Sirius…” You placed your hand on his. He tensed for a second, and you felt guilty of the weeks you hadn’t been around him that even your touch was foreign to him. He glanced at your hand on his, his eyes flicking up to meet yours. For a moment, he looked like he might pull away, but then his shoulders sagged, and he let out a shaky breath.

“I don’t know what to do,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “Regulus... he’s my brother. And I hate what he’s becoming, but at the same time, I can’t blame him. Not entirely. He’s just... he’s stuck. Just like I was.”

Your heart clenched at the vulnerability in his voice. This wasn’t the Sirius who was loud and brash, always ready with a witty comeback or a rebellious grin. This was Sirius stripped bare, raw and aching, and it broke something inside you to see him like this.

“He’s not you, Sirius,” you said softly, your hand still resting on his. “He’s still young. He still has time to see the truth.”

Sirius shook his head, a bitter laugh escaping his lips. “You’re too optimistic for your own good, you know that?” He leaned into you playfully. Another beat went by, and the sadness returned into his eyes. “I don’t regret my choice to leave. But I miss him,” he admitted quietly. “And I hate that I do.” 

You swallowed hard, trying to choose your words carefully. “He’s still your brother, Sirius. That doesn’t just go away.” 

His lips quirked into the faintest hint of a smile, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “You always know what to say, don’t you?”

You smiled softly, the tension between you easing just slightly. For a while, neither of you spoke, the crackling of the fire filling the silence. It wasn’t uncomfortable, though. It felt... safe. Familiar.

“I miss you,” Sirius said quietly after a while, his gaze fixed on the flames. 

You felt the heat in your cheeks rise and that heavy feeling be placed on your chest again. You swallowed hard. “I miss you too.” 

His eyes flicked back to yours, and for a moment, the world seemed to shrink, leaving only the two of you. There was something unspoken in his gaze, something that made your heart race and your stomach twist with nerves. You looked away, your cheeks warming under his scrutiny.

As you sat beside Sirius in the dim glow of the fire, the tension between you seemed to melt into the warmth of the common room. Yet, the knot in your chest remained, twisting with every word, every glance he threw your way.

The air between you felt fragile, as though any sudden movement might shatter the moment. You tried to focus on the flicker of the flames, but your thoughts were a mess of questions you didn’t dare ask. What did all of this mean? For you? For him? For the strange push and pull that had lingered between you for so long?

Sirius shifted slightly, his shoulder brushing yours. It was such a small thing, but it sent a jolt through you, and you suddenly realized how aware you were of him—of his presence, his scent, the way his voice softened when he spoke to you.

Why is this happening now? you wondered, stealing a glance at him. He looked tired, his face shadowed with an exhaustion that went far deeper than the physical. His confession about the Dark Mark, about his family and Regulus, had cracked something open in you—a deep well of empathy and something else. Something warmer. Something you weren’t sure you wanted to name.

You studied his profile, the sharp line of his jaw, the way his hair fell messily across his face. He was beautiful. He always had been, but now, in this quiet moment, the thought struck you differently. There was something vulnerable about him tonight, something that made your chest ache.

What if you lose him again? The thought whispered through your mind, unbidden and unwelcome. The weeks of tension between you had been suffocating, but this... this felt like a fragile lifeline. You didn’t want to let it slip through your fingers.

Your gaze dropped to his hands, resting loosely on his knees. You thought about all the times those hands had brushed yours—accidentally or intentionally—how they’d tugged you along on one of his harebrained adventures or steadied you when you’d nearly fallen on the Quidditch pitch.

And now, as you sat here together, a thought crept into your mind. A thought you’d pushed aside countless times before, too afraid to confront it. What would it feel like to hold his hand and not let go? To know what it’s like to kiss him? Your cheeks flushed at the thought, and you quickly looked away, scolding yourself. Don’t be ridiculous. He was your best friend—or had been, before everything went sideways. This wasn’t the time for romantic fantasies, not when he was baring his soul to you.

But the thought wouldn’t leave. It settled in your chest, insistent and impossible to ignore. You had spent years brushing off the idea, convincing yourself it was nothing. A fleeting crush. A side effect of being so close. But now, in the stillness of the common room, you couldn’t shake the feeling that it was more than that.

“Sirius,” you said suddenly, the sound of your own voice startling you.

He turned to you, his brows lifting slightly. “Yeah?”

You hesitated, your heart hammering in your chest. Don’t do this. Don’t make it weird. He’s already had a terrible night.

But then his eyes met yours, and for a moment, you swore the world stood still. There was something in the way he looked at you, something that made your breath catch.

“Sirius,” you began again, your voice softer now, “have you ever thought about kissing me?”

The words hung in the air, and the moment they left your lips, your stomach flipped with a mix of dread and anticipation. You braced yourself for his reaction, for the laugh or the scoff or—worst of all—the rejection. But none of those things came.

Instead, he stared at you, his eyes wide and searching. “What?” he asked, his voice cracking slightly.

You laughed nervously, shaking your head as if you could erase the question. “Never mind,” you said quickly. “That was a stupid thing to say.”

You swallowed hard, your pulse roaring in your ears. “I don’t know,” you admitted, though it wasn’t entirely true. “It’s just... I don’t want to go into seventh year never having been kissed. And... I trust you.”

His eyes softened at that, his surprise giving way to something warmer. “You trust me?” he repeated, his voice quieter now.

“Yes,” you said firmly, meeting his gaze. “I trust you more than anyone.”

He stared at you for a long moment, the firelight flickering in his eyes. You could see the hesitation in his expression, the way he was weighing his words. And for a moment, you wondered if you’d made a mistake. But then he let out a breath, his lips twitching into a small, uncertain smile.

“You really know how to put a bloke on the spot, don’t you?” he said, his tone lighter now, though his voice was still tinged with something deeper.

You couldn’t help but smile, though your heart was still racing. “So... would you?”

He tilted his head slightly, studying you as if he were trying to figure out if you were serious. “Are you sure about this?” he asked finally, his voice barely above a whisper.

You nodded, your throat tight. “I’m sure.”

Sirius hesitated, his eyes locked on yours, searching for any sign that you might change your mind. When he leaned in, it was slow, cautious, like he was giving you every chance to pull away. His hand brushed against your cheek, tentative and warm, as his lips met yours in a soft, chaste kiss.

It was simple, just the barest press of lips, but it sent a shiver through you nonetheless. His touch was surprisingly gentle, like he was afraid you might break. When he pulled back, he lingered close, his breath brushing against your skin.

“There,” he murmured, his voice low and almost teasing, though his tone lacked its usual confidence. “First kiss accomplished.”

You opened your eyes, meeting his gaze. Something unspoken lingered in the air between you, the warmth of his hand still ghosting on your cheek. The kiss had been sweet, careful... but it hadn’t been enough. Not for you.

“Sirius,” you said softly, reaching for his wrist before he could move away completely. He froze, his grey eyes wide and questioning as you tugged him closer again. “Wait.”

“What is it?” he asked, his voice barely a whisper.

You didn’t answer. Instead, you leaned in, pressing your lips to his for the second time. This time, the kiss wasn’t cautious or hesitant. It was fuller, deeper, and it carried all the emotions you hadn’t been able to put into words.

For a moment, Sirius seemed startled, but then he responded, his hand sliding to the back of your neck as he kissed you back with more certainty. His other hand moved to your waist, fingers splaying lightly against the fabric of your jumper. You felt his thumb brush a slow circle there, sending a pleasant shiver down your spine.

You tilted your head slightly, letting the kiss deepen, your fingers tangling in the fabric of his shirt as you pulled him closer. His lips were warm, soft but insistent, moving against yours in a rhythm that made your heart race. There was something intoxicating about the way he kissed—like he was pouring every ounce of himself into it, like he couldn’t get enough.

Your breaths grew uneven, mingling between you as the kiss intensified. Sirius’ fingers tightened slightly at your waist, and you felt the faint scrape of his teeth against your lower lip as he deepened the angle. It was perfect—messy, electric, and far more than you had expected.

And then, just as suddenly, Sirius pulled back, his forehead resting against yours as he broke the kiss. His breathing was unsteady, his chest rising and falling rapidly, and you could feel the warmth of his breath against your lips.

“Wait,” he said, his voice low and hoarse. His hands lingered where they were, one on your neck, the other at your waist, but he didn’t move closer again. “We should stop.”

You blinked, still catching your breath. “Why?” you whispered, your fingers still clutching his shirt.

“Because,” he said, laughing softly, though there was a tremor in his voice. “If we don’t, I don’t think I’ll want to.”

The words hung between you, heavier than they should have been. You nodded slowly, pulling back just enough to look at him. His cheeks were flushed, his lips slightly swollen, and there was something vulnerable in his eyes that made your chest tighten.

“Goodnight,” he said softly, his hand brushing against your cheek one last time before he pulled away entirely. He stood, running a hand through his already messy hair, and gave you a small, lopsided smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Goodnight,” you murmured, watching as he turned and disappeared up the stairs to the boys’ dormitory.

You sat there for a long time after he was gone, your fingers still tingling where they had touched him, your lips still warm from the kiss. The fire crackled softly in the hearth, but your thoughts were anything but quiet.

The ache that had lingered between you for weeks had softened, but it hadn’t disappeared. If anything, it had transformed into something else entirely—something that both thrilled and terrified you.

Whatever this was, it wasn’t over. Not yet.

[percesdead]

barty would giggle and twirl his hair and say,"all this for me?" when surrounded by twenty aurors

[that-bitch-kat3]

walburga: you’re not good enough for my son

remus: you’re not good enough for your son

walburga: excuse me?

remus: you heard me.

[variant-lokitty]

my adorable prongs, i love u so deerly ❤️

[stillwithmeisonlyyou]

My fav jegulus trope always will be reg and james "hating" each other at first.

Like james thinking reg is a stubborn snob and reg finding james painfully self centered

Bonus points if there is some sort of forced proximity kinda situation where they fight all the time but its filled with sexual tension.

Yea give me that

[siriusblack-the-third]

Bites and Scratches

Remus stares.

Look, Remus knows that when your best mate walks out of the shower with nothing but a towel around his waist, you don't stare unless you want to be seen as creepy. And usually he does give his friends their privacy, but today...

Today, Remus stares at Sirius' back as he bends to rifle through his pants drawer, unable to pull his eyes away.

Sirius has red lines all over his back. They start at his shoulders in several groups of four, and drag down all the way to waist, in stark contrast against his pale skin. It looks like he has been attacked by an animal, and some of the scratches are honest to Merlin turning blue and purple. Sirius doesn't look like he is bothered by it, because he simply pulls out a pair of black boxers and tugs them on, throwing the towel over his shoulders. Water drips from his hair into the fluffy white cloth, but Remus can't stop fucking staring.

"Padfoot," he says, and Sirius hums in question. "Did you get mauled by a cat?"

Sirius makes a confused sort of sound and whips his head around to give Remus the most baffled look he can manage. "Wha– no. What the fuck, Remus, where would we even find a cat?"

Remus frowns in confusion, and sits up properly in his bed. "Then why is your back covered in scratches– oh."

Oh.

The curtains around Sirius' bed are drawn. They're spelled shut, actually, now that Remus pays more attention.

James' bed is empty.

Remus eyes the unslept bed before turning to Sirius, eyebrow quirked and mouth pursed. Sirius stares back, his own eyebrow climbing higher and a small, smug smirk playing over his lips. Remus can't believe he missed it— Sirius' lips are plumpier and redder than usual, and he can see a small cut on the lower lip, like someone bit into it a little too hard.

Remus bites the inside of his cheek to stop himself from cackling.

Sirius grins and opens his mouth to say something, but a sudden groan erupts from behind the closed curtains. A second later, the red fabric is pulled back.

"Sirius, come back to be- oh."

James stares at Remus, swollen and red lips parted and hair messier than ever before. He is lying down, burgundy blankets pulled up to his shoulders and one arm under his head, a deer-in-the-headlights look on his face.

Remus smirks.

"Morning."

James squeaks, cheeks blooming deep pink, and burrows into Sirius' blankets, pulling them up to cover him up to his chin.

Remus stuffs his knuckles into his mouth to stifle his laughter, but doesn't succeed very well, given James' hot glare aimed at him.

Sirius gives him an amused look before he pulls an undershirt over his head, then walks over to tilt James' head up with two fingers under the chin, and places a chaste kiss on his lips. James immediately relaxes and kisses back, and pouts at Sirius when he pulls away a second later. Sirius huffs and smiles.

"Bon matin, mon soleil."

Remus gags and retches, and throws a pillow at their heads. "Ugh, yuck, quit the face sucking, you lovesick fools."

Sirius throws his head back and barks out a laugh. "You think this is face sucking?" he asks, smirking and shaking his head. "Moony, let me show you what real face sucking is."

Before Remus can do more than widen his eyes, Sirius is hauling James upright and crashing their mouths together. James lets out a muffled oomph, but responds eagerly, winding his arms around Sirius' neck and pulling him closer till he is sitting on the edge of the bed. The blankets drop to James' hips, but even with Sirius covering the view Remus can tell that the boy is naked. Sirius wraps one arm around James' waist and grips the back of his neck with the other hand, and tilts his head back to deepen the kiss.

James moans. Remus screeches and shuts his eyes tight, floundering around blindly till he grasps a pillow. He flings it in the general direction of the couple and yells, "Fuck, okay, we get it, that's enough!"

There's a short, offended noise that Remus recognises as Sirius, then the sounds of kissing stop. Remus breathes out and opens one eye, then opens the other when he is sure his best mates aren't snogging.

Now that James is sitting upright with his blankets pooled around his hips, Remus can see the bite marks Sirius left behind. A dozen dark purple hickeys trail down from behind his ear to his neck and then lower, lower, on his pecs and sternum and abs all the way to his navel, and disappear into the blankets. Finger shaped bruises are slowly turning blue at his hips, and his messy hair just adds to the Freshly Fucked™ look. He has a dazed look in his eyes, and his cheeks are flushed from the recent kiss, but he's halfway into Sirius' lap and his arms are still around his neck.

Remus gives both of them a shit eating grin, and James buries his head into Sirius' neck with a groan, cheeks burning visibly red.

"Shut up, Remus," he mutters.

Remus bursts out laughing.

.

.

Tag list:

@ad1thi @in-flvx @gracelesslady23 @narcissa-black-supermacy @xxmysticrose18 @padfootastic @siriuslystarbucks @fiendishfyre

[blackmarketfruitrollups]

I'm Not Sure Of Anything Anymore Pt. 2 (Remus Lupin X Reader)

Warnings: Swearing, angst, that should be it

"Shh, it's alright love." Lily cooed, gently stroking Y/N's hair while the girl sobbed on her roommate's chest. 

"I just don't understand." She sniffled, voice cracking. "I've always been there for him and he still saw me as disposable, what did I do to deserve that?" 

"Oh nothing sweet girl," Marlene rushed over to her from where she'd been pacing the room, furious. "This is all him. You did absolutely nothing wrong. Look at me," She gently pulled her friend's face out of Lily, making Y/N look at her. "You did nothing wrong. Don't let his inability to see your worth take away from how you see yourself." 

"He is an absolute idiot, a bloody moron for not seeing what an absolute treasure he had." Lily agreed, fingers starting to gently braid the hair away from the mourning girl's face. 

Y/N sniffed, smiling bitterly while wiping her eyes. "You know, he uh-" She chuckled, "He tried to lie his way out of everything. Told me he was a werewolf." She threw her hands in the air. "If he's gonna make something up he should at least respect me enough to come up with something that resembles believable." 

To her surprise, the response she got was absolute silence and blank stares, not the disgust and frustration that had been her reaction, and what she supposed would be her friend's. 

"He what?" Was all she got out of them after a stretch of silence that felt like an eternity. 

"He said he was a werewolf." Y/N repeated hesitantly. "Said that Kingsfield had been bringing him Wolfsbane."

Marlene's head swiveled over to Lily, shock written across her face. "He finally did it."

"I never thought he would have the balls too." Lily murmured. "This really wasn't the best way to go about it."

"For being so smart he sure acts stupid." Marlene shook her head.

"Anyone want to clue me in?" Y/N looked between her two best friends, frustrated. "Is there something I need to know?"

The two girls looked at each other and nodded. "I'm telling her, I'm not gonna lie for that prat any longer." Marlene stated, turning toward their hurting best friend. 

"He was telling you the truth, Remus is a werewolf." 

Everything stopped.

"What do you mean?"

"He was being honest, that's why he disappears once a month and shows back up looking half dead." Lily admit. 

Marlene nodded, reaching out to hug Y/N, only for her to pull away just out of arm's reach.

"So, you've both just, known and you let me sit there, terrified about my relationship falling apart?"

"No, no no. Love we've only known for the last two weeks, we swear." Marlene promised.

"And we wanted to tell you, really. But the boys swore that Remus needed to do it, and that he was going too within the next few weeks."

"We promise that we weren't trying to hurt you, and nobody has been pushing for him to tell you more than us. We just didn't expect him to do such a horrible job doing it." Lily comforted, watching as Y/N slowly relaxed back into them.

They all sat silently for a moment, letting the poor girl have as much time as she needed to process, before she broke the silence.

"So... he was telling the truth?" 

They nodded in response.

"And there's nothing going on between him and Kingsfield?"

"He swears there's nothing going on, and honestly, he loves you so much I don't think he's physically capable of cheating." Lily promised.

"Besides, if he does anything I'll castrate him myself." Marlene swore. "'Cause bad werewolves get neutered." 

"Hi."

"Hey.." 

This was the first interaction they'd had in a week and a half. Y/N hadn't been showing up to any of the classes they shared, and Marlene had been bringing food to their dorm, so she didn't have any need to go to the Great Hall, leaving Remus panicked and desperate.

He had done everything he could to convince Lily and Marlene to get Y/N to talk to him, but they wouldn't budge. She would talk to him when she was ready, and not a moment before, that was the only answer he could get out of them about the subject. 

It was quite obvious that neither of them approved of his treatment of their friend, and whilst he didn't want them to be angry, making sure his girlfriend was alright was his top priority. Well, that was if she hadn't decided to break up with him.

The boys weren't thrilled about how everything had gone down either, although they were much kinder to him then the girls were, and yet he couldn't be mad at them. He deserved their scorn, he especially deserved his girlfriend's avoidance, and he owned up to that. What he'd done was massively screwed up, and he should've been honest from the beginning, that was the least Y/N deserved.

But here they were, and he was so relieved that she had decided to grace him with a conversation, even if this conversation was the end of their relationship. If that's what she wanted he wasn't going to stop her, he didn't deserve an attempt at stopping her, not after throwing away her trust. 

"How've you been?" He tried, wincing when she shot him a look. "Sorry, stupid question."

"Remus-" She started.

"-Yes?" He answered immediately, accidently cutting her off with his eagerness to hold a conversation. 

"I just, I need to talk for a minute."

"Oh course-"

"And I need you to listen. Not talk, not try to make me feel better, just listen okay?" She paused, "Please?"

He nodded in response.

"I believe you, I believe what you told me about wha-, who you are." 

He let out a silent breath, relieved that she didn't think he was making cheap excuses.

"And I'm sorry if you didn't feel safe enough to tell me before now. I'm sorry if I ever made you feel threatened, or unable to be yourself around me, I'm very sorry if I didn't love you well.. But you really hurt me, and this has made me question our entire relationship since it was built on a lie." 

Remus closed his eyes and hung his head, absorbing her words like a sponge. They hurt to hear, but he would listen to every single thing she had to say, that was the least he could do. 

"I just, I need an answer and I want you to be completely honest with me, alright?"

He nodded. "I tell you anything you want to know."

"Do you like her? Do you have any feelings for Charlotte?"

This was the question. This was the question that had been eating at her, gnawing at her insides for not just the past week and a half, but the last two months. This was the thing that had torn her up with doubt, slowly creating little tears in the certainty she had in their relationship, but she loved him so much that if he said yes she would let him go.

And she would wish the best for them, wish them nothing but joy, because at the end of the day her anger at him for keeping his lycanthropy a secret would never be able to touch the amount of love she had for this boy. And loving him that much meant that she just wanted him to be happy, even if happiness for him wasn't with her. 

"No, never. I have no feelings for Kingsfield, and I never have." He slowly walked over to her, trying not to spook her away from him. "My love it has been you, all day every day since the moment I first saw you." He took a few steps closer.

"I know you don't believe in love at first sight, but sweet girl I was absolutely infatuated with the very essence of your being since that first moment." Finally close enough, he gently wrapped his arms around her whilst her big doe eyes peered up at him, lash line filled with tears she was fighting to hold onto. "I have screwed up massively, and I take full responsibility. I am so sorry to have put you through this, and to have lied to you for so many years, but my love," he pressed their foreheads together, close enough that he could smell the coconut from her conditioner and see every freckle scattered across her face. "You never did anything wrong. Your very existence is a blessing, and you have loved me better than anyone else ever has. My darling, you have loved me best, and I am so sorry to have ever made you doubt that."

Remus raised his head and pressed his lips to her forehead, feeling her subconsciously sink into him. "I will spend a lifetime making it up to you, if only you will allow me, sweet girl. But if you wish for me to disappear from your life then you'll never have to see my face again, but my darling, I love you more than I could possibly ever describe, and I beg for the chance to make this right."

Home. That was the word that was running through her mind. This is what home felt like. Home smelt like chocolate, fireplaces, old books, parchment and ink. Home felt like warm hugs and oversized jumpers, sweet kisses and comfort. Home was Remus, and Remus was taking accountability.

"It's going to take a lot of work." She murmured, staring up into his eyes. "I'm not sure how long it's going to take."

"That's alright my love." He smiled, "I'll spend the rest of eternity earning your forgiveness."

Y/N giggled, sniffing and gently wiping away the traitorous tears that had fallen from her eyes. "Alright then." She whispered. "I forgive you, and we can give this another try." 

She wasn't able to get out another word before she was being smothered in kisses, Remus being so relieved he could barely think straight. All that mattered at this point was proving to his treasure just how much he loved her. 

And the ring in his pocket was suddenly much lighter, sitting and waiting for the time when it would be slipped on her finger. ​​​​​​​ 

[cursedwithwords]

Man I love jegulus but I can't really read fics for that either cuz wolfstar is ALWAYS a side ship and I can't stand the fandoms take on it 😮‍💨

[moonyssmommyy]

Word Association ~ Valkyries Edition

Lily - Intelligence

Mary - Romantic

Marlene - Rebellious

[psyzook]

Tell me ‘The Sirens’ by John Longstaff isn’t Regulus Black.

[lafleshlumpeater]

rain spencer as a face claim for marlene mckinnon

[percesdead]

barty "lmao lets go fuck on my dads grave" crouch jr

evan "lmao lets do it" rosier

[that-bitch-kat3]

yeah sure sirius black is masculine… but like the way a peacock is masculine

[passiveagressiveunicorn]

Im probably gonna write a coffee shop au (im claiming i wont but i stg every time i read about the marauders dying my resolve not to write fanfic anymore weakens) for the marauders so i need peoples thoughts

Lily x James or James x Regulus

[stillwithmeisonlyyou]

Scooby doo fred (like the fred and daphne fred) gives off james potter vibes. I can't exlain it he just does.

[siriusblack-the-third]

Boredom, Flustration and Love Confessions part 3

Part 1 | part 2 | Part 4

.

Sirius hasn't had this much fun in his entire life.

Really, if he knew getting a tongue piercing would mess with his Jamie as much as it did, he would have done it way back in fifth year. Watching him squirm is just too hilarious.

And cute as fuck.

He grins at last night's memory of James stomping into their dorm with the most adorable flaming red blush painted over his cheeks and the tip of his nose, only to freeze at the sight of Sirius, twist on his heel and stomp back out, blushing even darker.

To think all he had been doing was lounging in his bed with a book.

"You're going to give him an aneurysm," Remus mutters next to him, sounding for all the world like he is weary of Sirius, but Sirius knows better; Remus is enjoying this just as much as he is.

"Shut up, Moons," he says airily, and watches James appear at the doors to the Great Hall. His eyes follow the other boy as he strides towards Lily and dramatically plops himself down between her and Marlene, making her roll her eyes with a grin on her face even as she pops a treacle tart into her mouth.

James is wearing flared jeans and an oversized powder blue sweater whose sleeves reach all the way to his fingertips, and Sirius is pleased to see the pearl earrings he gave him for Gudi Padwa earlier this year. His hair is extra messy today, and the bold line of kajal can be seen clearly even from across the room. Sirius isn't close enough to see his eyes, but he knows that the kajal brings out the green and gold specks in the brown.

James has the most ridiculously pretty eyes, Sirius thinks, all large and almond shaped and Bambi-like. One would think Sirius, being the dog animagus, would have the puppy eyes. Yes well, his puppy eyes haven't got shit on James' doe eyes. Which is even more ridiculous when you consider that James is tall and has toned, lean muscles from hours of throwing Quaffles around.

Someone that hot shouldn't have the ability to be so cute. It's just not done.

Remus sighs in exasperation and shuts his Defence textbook with a snap to give Sirius an annoyed look that both of them know is an act.

"Both of you," he announces with the most exaggerated air of importance like he is the second coming of Myrddin, "are ridiculous as fuck. Ask him out already, shit's sake!"

Sirius snickers. "But this is so much more fun, Moony," he drawls, and the other boy gives him a flat, unimpressed glare. Okay, that one is real.

Sirius sighs and rolls his eyes. "Alright, look, how about this? When we go down to Hogsmeade today, you get Pete, Lily and Marls to clear off. Je vais lui demander."

Remus gives him a long glance, then nods briskly. "Will do, Pads."

"Thanks Remi, you're a darling."

"Save your flirting for Prongs."

.

.

When Sirius bounds down the stairs three at a time come ten o'clock, James is waiting for him with a small grin, fingers playing with his sweater paws and a dark blue knit scarf around his neck. He is alone. Sirius grins back and shoves one hand into his pockets while holding the other out for James to take.

"The others left early," James says as he slides his warm hand into Sirius', and Sirius notes with delight the light pink dusting itself over James' cheeks. "Lily dragged Remus, Marlene went with that Ravenclaw girl— Vera? Yeah Vera. Pete said he wanted a little time alone without our chaos."

Sirius chuckles and slides their palms so they can intertwine their fingers, and takes a great amount of pleasure in the way James ducks his head down shyly, lips pulling into a small grin.

"I'm starting to think Peter doesn't like us anymore," he jokes as they start making their way towards the front doors of the castle. James snorts and laughs, and it is the most gorgeous thing Sirius has ever seen; his pretty eyes crinkle at the corners and his plump lips pull back to show sparkling white teeth, and he steps closer to Sirius to playfully knock their shoulders together.

"Careful, there," James says with a lopsided grin, "that might just come true."

Sirius laughs, then winks at Filch when they pass him. James buries his head into Sirius' shoulder to muffle his giggle when the old caretaker glares at them, and Sirius feels like he is on a cloud. James' hand is warm and slightly sweaty, a stark contrast against the November chill that has settled over the castle and it's surroundings, and he looks so cozy when he pulls up the scarf to cover his mouth and nose that Sirius can't help it.

He leans down to press a kiss to James' forehead.

Immediately, deep pink blooms in a band across his cheekbones, and he blinks at Sirius with slight confusion.

Sirius winks. "You just look too cute, mon beau," he says in way of explanation, and James grins under that scarf; Sirius can tell because he knows James the way he knows his own palm, because he knows James better than he knows himself.

"On y va," he says, not giving him a chance to reply before he is tugging on their joined hands, "We'll go to Tomes And Scrolls, and you can buy books."

James, giant bookworm that he is, lights up like a lumos maxima and suddenly Sirius is the one being dragged down the little cobblestone path.

Sirius grins at the back of his head and he knows full well that he looks besotted as all hell, but cannot bring himself to care.

It's James.

He can't help being besotted.

They arrive at Tomes And Scrolls before Sirius realises it, and James lets go of his hand to bound excitedly over to the Arithmancy section, a bright smile on his face when he pushes the scarf down.

"Si, look," he gasps, pulling out thick, large textbooks and bound research papers like they weigh nothing, "they have works by Charuta Deokar!"

Sirius leans his shoulder against the shelf frame and stares at the gleam in his hazel eyes with a helpless heart and a soft smile; Gods, what he wouldn't do to keep that sort of look on James' face for all their lives.

He just looks so happy, like Sirius has just handed him the one thing he desires most in his life.

Sirius snorts.

They are in a book store. Sirius has done exactly that.

He does not say a single word; he simply follows James around as the other boy pulls out book after book and piles them into Sirius' arms, chattering a mile a minute with a blinding smile on his face with his hands flying everywhere. He holds the books, answers when he is asked a question, points out more books when he thinks James will like them, and most importantly, he doesn't take his eyes off of James' handsome face.

I am so fucking smitten, he thinks.

When James is done, it's nearly two o clock, and they have been in the bookstore for almost three hours.

"Sorry," James tries to say when Sirius' stomach gives a particularly loud gurgle, but he cuts him off with a fond shake of his head.

"Nope," he says. "I had fun. We should do this more often."

Funny thing is, he means it. He may not love reading as much as James does, but he does enjoy it, and he can never be tired of looking at his face. Never.

James gives him a skeptical look, and he grins. "I mean it, mon beau," he winks, "you look way too adorable when you talk about books, and I got to stare at your pretty face for three hours while you got to pick out books. Win-win, I say."

And that red flush is back. James averts his gaze to the side with a small smile on his face, and Sirius feels a smile of his own pull at his lips. His arms are aching from holding heavy books and he is starving for a good meal, but he thinks– no, he knows– that that smile is absolutely worth it.

They drop a dozen books onto the counter, and Sirius glares at James when tries to pay. "Jamie, put away the card," he complains. "I brought you to the shop, I pay."

"But—"

"No buts, ands or ifs," he cuts in, but James gives him a stubborn look.

"They're my books," he points out with a raised eyebrow.

Sirius nods in agreement. "And I brought you here. Shut up and put your card away, petite biche."

Little doe.

That nickname always works, and it doesn't disappoint this time. James flushes dark red and reluctantly slips the crystal Gringotts card back into his wallet with a small pout, and glares at Sirius when he grins triumphantly and hands his own card over to the cashier, who is smiling at them like she knows they're on a date.

The total amount racks up to 72 galleons, and they walk out of the shop with three bags on one of Sirius' arms, and James gripping his other arm and the handle of the fourth bag with a glare on his face that both of them know is fake.

The bright red cheeks kind of give him away. And the slight pleased upturn to the corner of his lips.

Sirius gives him a smug grin, and James sighs in exasperation.

"Let's just go," he mutters.

.

.

Tags:

@xxmysticrose18 @narcissa-black-supermacy @padfootastic @gracelesslady23 @ghostie-06