#rodrick heffley headcannons

[riordanness]

rodrick heffley headcannons bc i’m incredibly obsessed with this man okay

• he’s obsessed with music. duh. but like, i mean obsessed in a “my spotify screen time is like 10+ hours a day and i doodle music notes on all my jeans” kinda way

• he never has neat hair. ever. (and we love him for it 😩)

• been playing ‘drums’ since toddlerhood, banging out melodies on anything and everything that made that kind of noise

• speaking of which, he collected milo tins as a child and had a whole drum kit made out of them

• his favourite colour is purple but you wouldn’t catch him dead admitting it

• lowkey adores little kids

• like he has such a soft spot for manny

• he’ll do anything for that boy

• literally cannot flirt to save his life (don’t lie to yourself we all know it)

• dyslexic af (D-O-R-E??)

• won’t bring a jacket even if instructed to/refuses to wear a proper jacket no matter how cold it is

• when and if he has a gf, he treats her like she’s fragile glass (in a cute way)

• spent a whole week as a middle schooler determined to learn spanish

• then realised that takes a lot of work and gave up immediately

• he’s just so baby okay

[lollibumblebee]

heyy can I request headcanon for dating rodrick heffley with female reader??

a/n: Okkkk, i love this one sm

DATING RODRICK HEADCANNONS:

Unlike the mean ass personality facade he puts up for other people, this man is such a softie bro

you would find out that information pretty quick into the relationship

His mum ADORES you, like she thinks you're the best

he would lay in your lap while you play with his hair

you always catch him staring at you with such an adoring expression

manz is insecure

when he sees you with other ppl, like hitting on you, he will cry about it later

like he would act all tough and shit in front of them, but no

holding your hand in public is his favourite thing in the world

like PDA makes this kid feel so wanted it's unbelievable he loves it

random nights in his van at a random gas station fucking around.

If he's feeling confident, he will reach up (or down) and grab your boobies lmaoooo

no shame

he loves it when you watch his band rehearse

he teaches you how to play the drums and its so cute

he's so gentle with you its so cute

[lemongirl5910]

if there's one thing rodrick loved about hanging out with you. it would definitely be laying on top of you. in any way really.

if you were a personal cool pack or a personal heater, it doesn't matter he loves it. the moment his face made contact with your neck, his breathing slowed, and he could feel the stress of dealing with everything that day leave his body.

this was by far one of his favourite times of the day. it wouldn't even matter if you were reading or on your phone texting your friends as long as he could cuddle up to you he was good. he loved falling asleep like this aswell, he says it's the best sleep he gets in a day, and he legit feels like shit when he doesn't get his daily dose of cuddles.

if you both know you won't be able to hang out after school he will sit with you at lunch and lean his head on your shoulder, close his eyes and drowns out the loud sounds of the cafeteria. he focuses on the sound of your voice as you talk to your friends. sometimes, he even doses off a little. we all know this man loves sleeping. and when you're by his side, it makes the experience so much better.

you spent so much time in his room that your scent began to invade his personal space permanently. not that be minds, he likes that his pillows and blankets smell like you. it helps him fall asleep even faster than normally. even if he's sad you have to leave for the night.

when he picks you up with his van for school in the morning, first thing after your good morning kiss is a hug, as he buries his face in your neck with a loving embrace he feels his senses being filled with your newly put on parfum and he feels even better then when he did when he first saw you that morning.

-------------------------------------------------------

note: okay, so like.. hai! it's been like 4 months... who knew being a fanfic writer is so hard.. um, anyway, i want to write more. I just need some good ideas... I think I'll be writing some Mike Schmitt stuff aswel hehe anyway- merry Christmas, everyone! -Lemon

[cathers-world]

Boundaries and shi-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NO PISS KINK

18+ for smut!

First things first I won’t put nsfw if it’s clearly smut and I don’t want minors reading my things, but I can stop you from doing so, I just don’t condone it

The not fun stuff out the way, so here’s some things what I will and won’t write about!

Who I write for:

Jshlatt (c! or not)

Ted

Mike Schmidt

William afton/steve raglin

Johnnie Gilbert

Jake Webber

Rodrick

Draco Malfoy

Tom riddle

Beta squad

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NSFW OR SFW

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WONT WRITE

Piss kink, r@pe, shit kink, TW ABUSER AND R@PEIST! Wilbur

WILL WRITE

Dub con,BDMS, innocent/corruption kink, somnophilia, other things like that

my shit will be she/her or they/them ONLY afab

18+ only

[naathanuwu]

I’m still hella obsessed with Rodrick Heffley so let me poop out some hc 🤭

Specifically gay ass hc cause I am in fact a raging homosexual

This is for all of my boy kissing boys 🫶🫶

• This might be a shocker, but Rodrick is a raging bisexual, though he has a bigger preference towards women

• And he is lowkey oblivious to his own bisexuality

• He’ll look at Andrew Garfield and say something dumb like “I could take him” and mean it in a smegsual way

• I think if he’d crush on a boy, he’d be hella confused and heavily in denial

• “I’m attracted to you in a way that a man is attracted to a woman… but I’m not gay!”

• He’s not being homophobic, he’s just stupid y’all 🙏

• Rodrick would absolutely make a playlist for his first boy crush (he’d create a playlist for his girlie crushes too, but he wouldn’t be so oblivious about his attraction)

• And maybe even write a song about his confused feelings

• Once Rodrick realises that he is indeed a bisexual, he’d drop the worst ever pickup lines (duh)

• I like to think that he has an easier time flirting with boys, because he can “bro flirt” with them

[sunnysoulzz]

Hey sunnyyyyy😋can we get the girl next door crush trope with Rodrick heffley headcannons

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS IS BUT FUCK YEAH

(I’m ngl- I’m very uncultured I had to look up what the girl next door trope was) (also this made me realise idk how to make headcanons)

Contains: rodrick Heffley x f!reader, nsfw, reader and rodrick are neighbours and childhood friends lol, more rodrick accidentally perving on reader, smut under the cut!

You and Rodrick had been friends since childhood. you were neighbours. When you were little you used to always play together, he had a habit of being a bully sometimes.

As you grew up you stayed friends, not as close as you were when you were little, but still close. When he’d get mad at his dad or something, he’d come to your house. He’d talk about music, school, girls he had a crush on. You’d just smile and listen.

He never really saw you as ‘dateable’. You were always just his close friend who he’d go to for comfort, and when he needed someone to talk to.

The two of you would drive around in his van, listening to music, or get snacks together. He’d always tell you about songs his band was working on.

He’s the kind to make you a mixtape of your favourite songs, you face felt hot after he handed it to you.

He definitely throws his arm over your shoulder when he’s walking with you

One day one of your neighbours had a party, your family and rodricks family were both invited. You wore a short skirt and a cute top. That was the first time Rodrick really saw you as a woman. He couldn’t keep his eyes off you, he has a goofy smile as he tried to act cool, his ears tinted red.

After that he realised how much he liked you, even before this, when he would adamantly refuse that he liked you, he definitely did. He’d always try to make you laugh, he thought the way you talked was cute, he’d try to impress you when he played drums, and way more embarrassing stuff he doesn’t want to admit.

Rodrick having a crush on you would 100% mean he’d invite you to every practice and the few places that let his band play. He’d call you his personal roadie lol.

He’d sneak out of the house at night to go to yours, he’d say it was because he was pissed off about something, but really he just wanted to see you.

You’d bring him to your room, trying not to wake your parents, even though they were used to rodrick coming over at random times by now. You talked about hearing a song he would’ve liked, humming the song softly. He immediately blushed, not just because he liked hearing your voice, but also because you thought of him.

You loved how dorky he was, even though he tried to act cool, he really wasn’t.

He never planned to confess, he didn’t want to ruin the friendship and was hoping the crush would just die down overtime, it didn’t. He was talking about you to his friends, yet again, when you showed up at his house unannounced and caught him talking about everything he loves about you. He has never been more embarrassed. He tried to pretend he was talking about another girl while he friends just exchanged knowing glances.

He definitely accidentally perved on you on when you were getting out of the shower.

Rodrick thought you were innocent, he hadn’t seen you bring any guys over, at least none he thought you were hooking up with. And since he’s a virgin too, he really wanted his first time to be with you.

He definitely thinks about you whenever he jerks off :]

You know that whole trope of “accidentally looking though a girls window when she’s changing”? That happened. You both stared at eachother for a few seconds before you felt your face grow hot. You quickly covered your chest and closed the curtains. He popped a boner real fast.

—

I’m all out of brain juice 😭 I’m so sorry, I have no idea what this trope is, so I hope this works 🫶🫶 if it doesn’t, I’ll rewrite it fr LOLL but my requests are always open 😼

[dukecollinsbf]

guess.

if u guessed EVEN MORE OF MY DARLIN OC HEADCANNONS UR CORRECT. sum nsfw

sorry to all. im obsessed w him.

he loves zombie movies. and zombie games. call of duty zombies with his brothers used to be his shit. he was also very competitive. like, before he even hits the floor in the game he's yelling at his brothers to revive him. (im projecting :P)

after being with the pack for a few months, julius was convinced he'd never be a part of the pack like the rest of the teens were. they all already formed their bonds, found themselves in groups; they were a family. julius was just... there. even when asher would force julius to hang out with them, julius would feel so out of place and would just sit quietly

this feeling only grew stronger as he grew older and STILL didn't have any close bonds within the pack. he was fully convinced asher was trying to include him out of pity and it pissed him off. he HATES being pitied

he ALMOST got a tattoo for quinn cus he was young and fully conviced he and quinn were forever

now he has a tattoo of sams name

he also copies sams accent. and milos. and porters. not to be mean, but cus they like the way they talk! they did it with quinn too and he didnt take it well

he punched another pack member for making fun of him once. lol

HUGE RESTING BITCH FACE.

again, guyliner. one of the pack adults (i cant decide which) and julius x that one scene from the dairy of a wimpy kid movie

"are you wearing eyeliner??"

julius also had a crush on rodrick heffley. he wanted him AND wanted to be him.

"IM SORRY WOMEN :/"

he orders food then overthinks the interaction. "wow... i stuttered while asking for cheese on my sandwich... this is the worst thing that has ever happened to me."

not julius, but sam uses emojis properly. especially the sad ones. julius thinks its so cute.

also sam dad bod and chst hair and

me^

as mentioned in past post, he was sent to an empowered tti. he DID escape, but he didnt get to finish highschool cus of it. he makes fun of himself for being a dropout even tho it wasnt even his choice.

again, projecting, but he has an issue with telling others to kts or threatening to khs.

when he was a kid and he found out ur teeth dont fall out til youre like seven he cried cus he wanted money

this is alrdy agreed upon by the fandom but hes a WHORE. and HOT.

hes taller than sam... IM BOUTA BUST

one time when sam went in for a kiss julius turned his head away and went SWERVEDDD and sams face was pure shock and betrayal

he rubs his cheek against sams

bright eyes and sam that one meme

"why does julius call u babygirl?"

"how bout we stop talking for a little while."

baggy jeans.... compression shirt... or.... tight tanktop.... *busts*

slurty waist....... msucles....

neck tattoo........................ and others cus he TATTED

he wears rings too and he has a necklace he like NEVER takes off.

i alrdy said this too but im saying it again he has heterochromia (my twin) hes so sexy im gonna kiss my own oc

BJ KING!!

he bites. in a freaky way and in an intimate way

like he loves sam sm he js needs to bite his bicep or titty pec

he used to smoke. like A LOT

early sam and masc darlin was a homoerotic friendship. i know that sexual tension was crazy.

garfield lover. youll never like garfield like HE likes garf.

HE SUCKS AT GEOGRAPHY SO BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the end (for now)... do yall have hcs for my oc cus ill eat them up and send u a million dollars. but also just gimme darlin hcs

AGAIN IM SORRY IM SORRY IF UR SICK OF ME LMFAOO

[mattykay]

Fic Masterlist

I've also done and do cai requests! my acc is @mattmokey on cai

- Five Hargreeves -

(please keep in mind this is written about an aged up body not his young one of course)

Five x FTM reader: His man (nsfw)

Five x GN stoner!reader: 🍃

Five x M/GN reader: headcannons

More headcannons but it was an ask: here

- Rodrick Heffley -

Rodrick x FTM tutor!reader: Please?

Rodrick x FTM family friend reader: here

- Lee, Bones and All -

Lee x FTM reader: headcannons

Lee x M,Flourist!reader: (i need to start naming my fics but here's the link)

- Timothee Chalamet -

Him finding out a guy likes him: headcannon

Him as a boyfriend: headcannons

[fuckshitslover]

val's masterlist and rules :)

MY MASTERLIST

FUCKSHIT   -    mid90s

EMMETT CULLEN    -    TWILIGHT SAGA

Coming soon!...

PATRICK HOCKSTETTER     -    IT 2017

Coming soon!...

VANCE HOPPER - THE BLACK PHONE

Coming soon!...

CARL GALLAGHER - SHAMELESS

STEVE HARRINGTON - STRANGER THINGS

Coming soon!...

GALLAVICH DAUGHTER - SHAMELESS

Coming soon!...

GEORGIE COOPER - YOUNG SHELDON

Coming soon!...

RODRICK HEFFLEY - DIARY OF A WIMPY KID

Coming soon!...

OTHER CHARACTERS

None yet!...

RULES

I will do NSFW, though i’m not sure i’m very good at it. I will write for any character on this list, and if you happen to request one that i know, ill see if i can write for them! I don't write male!readers, and i will default to fem!reader unless said to be gender neutral. I will update my masterlist when i make a new work, and FEEL FREE TO REQUEST! I do go to school, so ill probably be a bit short on time but ill try my best to do anything i;m interested it whenever i can! I am an ADD bisexual female, so i will say the f slur if necessary, and i will try to refrain from, but if there is a line that says the r slur, i might refer to it. None of my work is meant to offend anyone, it is purely for fun. Ill try my best to respond to constructive criticism, but if you're rude, you'll get blocked 🙂

[riordanness]

— main masterlist ->

here is my main masterlist for all of my fics on this site!

i will obviously be trying to get this updated every time i post a new fic <3

disclaimer,, i haven’t posted very many fanfics on tumblr yet, so some of these masterlists are currently empty.

enjoy!! 🤍

(coming soon!) masterlist.

percy jackson masterlist

— percy jackson

pick up lines

my tears ricochet

wildest dreams

crazier

fictional

mi amor

things percy would say to me if he was real

i wish you would

bad blood

false god

seven

sparks fly

burning it down

— walker scobell

slow motion, double vision

— leo valdez

stranger

delicate

— percabeth

the way i loved you

headcannons

— jason grace

start of something new

today was a fairytale

— luke castellan

— carter kane

— will solace

he was sunshine

the summer i turned pretty masterlist

— conrad fisher

pretty things

— jeremiah fisher

outer banks masterlist

— rafe cameron

gorgeous

breathe

labyrinth

— jj maybank

headcannons

once upon a time masterlist

— peter pan

— killian jones

better than revenge

spider-man/peter parker masterlist

— peter parker

coffee… at midnight

he isn’t you

peter parker headcannons

— tom holland

heaven knows

the chronicles of narnia masterlist

— edmund pevensie

cardigan

just a man

— peter pevensie

the maze runner masterlist

— newt

would’ve, could’ve, should’ve

say don’t go

— minho

— thomas

miscellaneous masterlist

— peeta mellark

tolerate it

— coriolanus snow

— finnick o’dair

— rodrick heffley

headcannons

change

— hiccup haddock

bad blood

out of the woods

— ravi singh

you are in love

dear reader

timothée chalamet masterlist

— willy wonka

sweet nothing

nightmare dressed like a daydream

safe and sound

electric touch

lover

for a moment

all i’ve ever wanted

— timothée chalamet

chocolate like this

— laurie laurence

champagne problems

i think he knows

— nic sheff

enchanté

<3

[lollibumblebee]

Rules for requesting!

Hi, requests are open and below are some of the things people I write for!

I'll write for all genders/pronouns and if they aren't specified in the request, default is gender-neutral/ they/them.

The maze runner:

Gally

Thomas

Newt

Minho

(ill write for more, but these are the main)

The sturniolo triplets:

diary of a wimpy kid:

Rodrick

Folk of the air series:

(request for this one)

The 100:

Bellamy

Finn

Jasper

Murphy

Monty

(like tmr, ill write for other, but these are the mains)

WHAT I WILL WRITE:

smut (not for the Sturniolo triplets as this is against their set boundaries)

I love head cannons, so I'll write them

poly!(insert ship here) (once again probably not with the Sturniolos)

Don't worry if there are no female characters, just request and I'll complete as soon as possible<3

no issue with writing things relating to depression, anxiety and SA, but it won't be in detail, or romanticised in any way.

WHAT I WON'T WRITE:

r@pe

incest

piss/shit/vomit kink

foot fetish or any other weird ass fetish

no pregnancy (I cannot write that for the life of me, sorry babes)

kidnapping

smut for minors and people who aren't comfortable with it

other triggering subjects

[dolly-gutzz]

☆masterlist + about me ☆

★ ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆★

~ 𝔞𝔟𝔬𝔲𝔱 𝔪𝔢! ~

⚝ ‧₊˚⚝

~ Sophie // 16 ~

༺♰༻

~ 𝔭𝔯𝔬𝔫𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔰: (she/her) ~

𖦹 𖤐 🕸 𖤐 𖦹

~ 𝔭𝔯𝔬𝔭𝔢𝔯𝔱𝔶 𝔬𝔣 (davi<3!!) ~

 † ཐི❤︎ཋྀ †

~ 𝔭𝔯𝔬𝔟𝔷 𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤 2 (Lolita-Lana Del Rey) ~

☾⋆⁺₊

(//_-) 𝔤𝔬 𝔞𝔴𝔞𝔶!!!

☆masterlist ☆

⋆♱✮♱⋆⋆♱✮♱⋆⋆♱✮♱⋆⋆♱✮♱⋆⋆♱✮♱⋆⋆♱✮♱⋆⋆♱✮♱

☆Characters/Fandoms I write for ☆

⋆.✮🎧✮.⋆⋆.✮🎧✮.⋆⋆.✮🎧✮.⋆⋆.✮🎧✮.⋆⋆.✮🎧

☆Bottoms

Hazel Callahan

☆Juno

Juno macguff

☆Good Will Hunting

Morgan O’Mally

Will Hunting

☆mid90’s

Fuckshit

Ray

Fourthgrade

Ruben!platonic only!

Stevie/sunburn!platonic only!

☆Metal lords

Hunter Sylvester

☆She Drives me Crazy

Scottie Zajac

☆Pretty in Pink

Philip “duckie” Dale

☆Breakfast club

Brian Johnsom

John Bender

☆The Last Of Us 

Ellie Williams

☆Diary of a Wimpy Kid 

Rodrick Heffley

☆Ferris Buellers Day Off

Ferris Bueller

☆The Umbrella Academy

Five Hargreaves

Klaus Hargreeves

Viktor Hargreaves

Stan

☆The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Patrick

Charlie

☆Euphoria

Rue Bennet

Ashtray

Nate Jacobs 

☆Ten Things I Hate About You

Patrick Verona

Cameron James

☆Gilmore Girls

Jess Mariano

Tristan Dugray

Dean Forester 

☆Miraculous Ladybug

Adrien Agreste 

☆Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children

Enoch O’Connor 

☆Arcane

Jinx

Viktor

Vi/Violet

☆The Black Phone

Vance Hopper

Finny Blake

Robin 

☆Descendants 

Carlos Devil

Jay Jafar

Harry Hook

☆Descendants~Rise of Red

James Hook

☆Z-O-M-B-I-E-S

Zed Necrodopolous

A-Lan

Wyatt Lykansen

☆CreepyPasta

Jeff The Killer

Ticci Toby

Eyeless Jack

Clockwork

⋆♱✮♱⋆⋆♱✮♱⋆⋆♱✮♱⋆⋆♱✮♱⋆⋆♱✮♱⋆⋆♱✮♱⋆⋆♱✮♱

Hazel Callahan-

~Headcannons~

☆Dating hazel would be like 

~oneshots~

~series~

☆

Fuckshit-

~headcannons~

☆

~oneshots~

☆nights w fuckshit

~series~

☆Nicknames- pt 1/pt 2

 ☆

Ray-

~headcannons~

☆ray x platonic!sibling!reader- Pt 1/ Pt2

~one shots~

☆

~series

☆

Hunter Sylvester-

~headcannons~

☆ Hunter x goth!f!reader

☆Hunter x fem!reader 

~oneshots~

☆ten things I hate about you 

~series~ 

☆

Enoch O’Connor-

~headcannons~

☆

~oneshots~

☆back to your arms

~series~

Jinx-

~headcannons~

☆

~oneshots~

☆Breaking and Entering

☆Dilemma only a gf can fix 

~series~

☆

!!Author's notes!!!

Hey my little freaky freaks!! Welcome to my little coven of writings! Feel free to request anything your little heart's desire, and i will try to make ur dreams come true :3 ; just know that with my junior year of highschool coming indubitably near, my schedule will be a little packed (curse my partaking in four college classes ) But I will try my damndest to write as much as i can!! Love yall and happy reading <3

Toodles!!

Love,

DollyGutzz(aka elmokid)

[ineedtogetalife11]

finally

Okay everyone I am happy to announce that I am now a fan fiction author! Woo-hoo! I love books and I simp for the characters so I'm finally decided to share my obsessions.

I will wrote for:

Pjo characters

Hoo characters

Lotr characters

Kotlc characters

Aruh shah characters

Hp characters

Rodrick heffley

Big hero size characters

Atla but specifically zuko bcs I haven't watched in ages and only remember that cutie

And if u ask I may or may not have others that I just forget about .

O will write lgbtq and gender neutral but if a character is gay or sm I will respect their sexuality and only write for x that gender. I will do headcannons and fluff, and angst but absolutely no smut. I will write persons of color and overweight underweight short reader tall reader, anything bcs the struggle is real. O also do mood boards and other stuff. I will cuss in My writing but if u don't like that, put that in the request and I will ofc respect that.

Pls request stuff bcs I have zero motivation 😔.

[loversj0y]

HELP I HAVE OVER 1,000 NOTES ON A SHORT ASS HEADCANNON FOR RODRICK HEFFLEY WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS ATTENTION 😭😭😭

-🍄

LETS GOOO BABYYYY

im terrified to get to that point god bless the lack of attention i have

[slut4agoodcause]

Rodrick Heffley is dyslexic

I love my dumb dumb pretty emo boy so much

[rodr1cks]

Heather Hills | 1.3k

part one

neighbor trope where you’re in love with Rodrick but he can’t stop pining after Heather Hills, takes place during Dog Days

“Rodrick, she ran over your fucking foot for christ’s sake!” He rolled his eyes at you from his position on his bed. “She’s into me, I know it. How could she resist?” Rodrick wasn’t wrong, he was pretty irresistible, to you at least.

The way his dark hair fell messily over his forehead, the adorable moles on his face, and oh god, his hands. Everything about him captivated you but he could never know. Rodrick liked girls like Heather Hills.

“Y/n? You there?” He said, waving a hand in your face. “Yeah- uh- sorry.” You had zoned out thinking about everything you wish you could do with Rodrick. “I uhm- gotta go. Keep your foot elevated, I mean it.” You gave him your most serious glare and got up from his bed. Rodrick winced at the movement.

You made the trek down the two flights of stairs to the main level where Mrs. Heffley was making dinner. “Hey, dear, is Rodrick doing alright? Did he tell you what happened?” You smiled faintly at her. “Oh he’s just fine. He said he tripped over a rock chasing Greg around.” Mrs. Heffley sighed, “Sounds about right. Well, would you like to stay for supper? We’re having your favorite!”

Mrs. Heffley was always so kind to you, she probably realized you’re the only girl who is actually nice to her oldest son. “Thank you for the offer but I have some work to catch up on.” Truthfully, you just wanted to go home and cry in your bed.

You immediately crawled into your bed as soon as you got home and started going down the list of things Heather Hills had that you didn’t. Blonde hair, tits, friends, popularity, the list continues. You fell asleep mulling over all of your shortcomings.

“Good morning, Y/n,” Rodrick smiled at you slyly. Oh god he has a plan. It always turned out bad when he gave you that look. “So, do you wanna hit the country club with me today?” Your brow furrowed in confusion, “You, Rodrick Heffley, are asking me to go to a country club?” “Yeah, Greg’s chubby friend can get us in.”

He was referring to Rowley Jefferson and he was completely serious. You shrugged in agreement. A smile broke out on his face and he smirked, “Wear something… skimpy.”

You walked back to your house to put on a skimpy bathing suit, per Rodrick's Instructions . What did that mean? Did he want to see you in something revealing? Thoughts aside, you rummaged through your drawers until you found it.

The smallest bikini you owned. It was black and the bottoms were nearly a thong. You put on the top, the minuscule triangles only covering the bare minimum. You threw on a Löded Diper t-shirt that was two sizes too big, courtesy of Rodrick.

You ran outside to meet Rodrick at his van, “Ready?” You nod at him. You had never felt so anxious before in your life. Rodrick reached over to turn the music up and you flinched. “Woah, woah, you okay over there, y/n?” Your face flushed, “Oh yeah, I-I’m fine,” you stammered.

After a short but bumpy ride, you guys arrived. “Follow me,” Rodrick said in a hushed voice. Apprehensively, you did as he asked.

“Rodrick, it reeks back here, when did you say Greg will get here?” Rodrick was obviously just as frustrated as you were but he assured you it would be any moment. Just then, the locked gate rattled. “Finally! Greg, my man!” Rodrick gave his younger brother a couple slaps on his back and you giggled. It was rare to witness them getting along, it was sweet.

The country club was nice. Rodrick led you over to a couple of chairs, “Make yourself at home, señorita.” Rodrick plopped down and stretched his arms behind his head. God, his muscles. You removed your shirt before you sat, and hovered for a moment. You were holding your arms around your stomach and looking around, discomfort evident on your face. So many beautiful girls there made you feel lesser. “Hey, y/n, you look great. Relax.” You instantly felt more at ease. For a while, you and Rodrick just sat and enjoyed the day.

Then you saw her. It was her. Heather Hills in a lifeguard suit strutting past both of you. You sat up and so did Rodrick.

“H-hey Heather!” Rodrick called after her. She made a noise of disgust, “As if, loser!” Rodrick huffed, “Damn it, you weren’t enough? I need to get to her somehow.”

Your heart dropped, you were there to make Heather Hills… jealous? “Rodrick? Did you bring me here just to-“ He cut you off, “Yeah yeah, one minute y/n.” He completely dismissed you and ran off.

You were livid. Absolutely enraged. You could be sad later but right now you needed Rodrick to know how furious he’d made you. The splash he made when he jumped into the pool caught your attention.

What the fuck was he trying to do?

Rodrick began flailing his arms around, splashing and gasping, “Help! Help me I’m drowning!” He cried out similar exclamations for the next minute or so. You’d seen enough. You grabbed your things and left, you’d walk home. Greg stopped you on your way out, “I’m sorry y/n, maybe he’ll realize soon.” You sighed, ruffing up Greg’s hair. How was Greg already smarter than Rodrick?

Jesus your house was further than you thought, did you even know where you were? Whatever, you’d figure it out. You were kicking pebbles along the sidewalk when you heard his van pull up beside you. “Y/n, get in the van,” he called out. You ignored him. “C’mon,” he yelled, “let me make sure you get home safely, please.” You gave in, you were tired of walking anyways. “Thank you,” he said when you plopped down in the passenger seat.

The van stopped abruptly in front of your houses. You broke the awkward silence and started going off on him. “You’re an asshole, you know that?. You used me to try and get to Heather Hills? Y’know how shitty that made me feel? For a second I thought- I really thought-” You paused, “Forget it.” You flung open your door and stormed into your front door. Rodrick was still absolutely oblivious.

He decided to give you some space and go to his own home. Greg was sitting on the floor playing twisted wizard when Rodrick walked in. “You still don’t get it do you?” Greg asked. Rodrick, visibly annoyed, quipped back, “Nothing to get, little bro,” and bounded up the stairs.

You woke up, groggy. You had fallen asleep at some point after getting home. What time is it? It was only 4pm. You heard knocking on your back door, Great. Dramatically, you flung the door open, already knowing who it was. You gestured, reluctantly inviting him in. Remembering what you were wearing, you blushed. You were still in a large t-shirt and bikini bottoms.

“Y/n, I’m sorry. I talked to Greg about it and I understand how stupid I am.” He seemed genuinely embarrassed. You took pity on him, how could you not? “It’s okay, Rodrick. I overreacted.” He smiled, “Great! Because I have great news!” You returned the smile, half-heartedly. “What’s your news?” “Okay, so after you left, Greg scored me a gig at Heather Hills’ sweet 16! Can you believe it?”

There was that feeling again, your heart shriveling and dropping to the depths of hell. Greg didn’t get through to him, after all. “Oh that’s- that’s great, Rodrick.” You really tried to seem enthused. “When is it?” you asked. “It’s in a week and you’re totally coming with, I need my favorite roadie there!” Rodrick was sweet sometimes, just not in the way you wanted. At least he wanted you there.

+hi hi this was my first fic in a long long time!! hope you enjoyed:) stick around for part 2

read part two here