#rickie despair

[morningovertakes]

my cerulean day didn't end well. you held me but the wound kept bleeding. never to match the scar on your wrist. never to mean anything at all.

-- rickie despair, "failure", published in dead love poems

[kermitthesog]

spoilers hehehehehhhe (pjo + toa deaths)

literally stop. literally stop. stop. stop. stop. i can’t. I was just reminded of how there literally is no main character privilege in pjo other than for percy, annabeth and idk grover? LIKE STOP. you cannot trust rick riordan like other authors because guess what? One of the main characters? Like in the Titan’s Curse with Zoe? nope. dead. Luke? No returning to the good side, no! had to kill himself to stop kronos. Dead. STOP IT. Jason, who was there for a whole series? dead! Silena who was there the whole series and was a secret spy for kronos but redeemed herself by sacrificing herself? oh yeah also dead. Beckondorf who was also there the whole series and helped percy so much? oh you liked him? that’s funny. dead. And yeah you could argue that, at least in that particular series, that character might not be a “main” character, but come on.

it just hurts so much more when you’ve gotten a backstory, personality, fears, motivations, growth, even a redemption arc of a character and you have to watch (well, read) them die. and when that character was so well loved by the other characters and the audience. when the character dies and you have to endure everybody’s reactions. when you cry because someone is screaming out in pain for them like piper for jason, screaming he’s not dead. when they describe their anguish like clarisse with silena. when a character has to walk away after the other sacrificed themselves like percy and beckondorf. when they have to cope with them being forever gone.

i cannot deal with the fact that there are so many deaths of important people. and they still weigh so heavily on everyone else. they made an impact. want some examples?

Zoe: percy still thinks about her.

Luke: he made an everlasting impact on everyone who met him or fought against him.

Jason: the whole rest of the series after the burning maze, apollo/lester dedicates his actions to jason and promises to be human like jason had pleaded for.

Beckondorf + Silena: Are fought for in the end during the final battle against kronos.

[and-despair]

Just hord evtime

[ivorypiano]

i have been thinking about being in an rtc production all day i am not normal about this show

[alexanderpearce]

staving off the summer depression (yes its only spring) by going out to buy (new maybe not even secondhand!) blouses for the job + also art supplies and chocolates tomorrow :)

[hannie-dul-set]

YOU’RE MY BUCKET LIST.

p — SHEN QUANRUI x fem! reader. g — humor, fluff, lovestruck! ricky trying his darnest to be cool. w — swearing, secondhand embarrassment what did you expect from me. 2.8k words.

note — rewriting the backstory of his leopard print shirt. my loser idolverse is expanding. no one is safe. who should i throw into the depths of patheticness next.

ricky doesn’t believe in bucket lists.

what need is there for a list of things he wants and wants to do before he dies when he can get and do everything he wants in an instant? if he wants to go bungee jumping, he can go to gangwon-do this afternoon. if he wants to date, he’s got a couple dozen numbers he can pick and choose to call. if he’s craving for authentic italian wine right out of the cellar, he can book a flight and visit all of europe with his phone as his only luggage. 

he lacks nothing, and therefore he wants nothing. ricky doesn’t believe in bucket lists— he didn’t believe in bucket lists. at least not until that damned day of reckoning, when the nonexistence of his list suddenly came to existence, harboring one thing and one thing only. 

there’s only one thing he’d like to tick off before he dies. one thing he wants as soon as possible. something that isn’t instantaneously achievable. something that unfamiliarly feels out of his grasp.

ricky, more than anything in the world, wants you to take him fucking seriously.

“you’re so pretty today.” 

is what he says, the moment you enter the office. well, two moments after you enter the office because he had to take the first moment to admire how pretty you are before verbalizing it. he’s down horrendous, he knows— totally outside of the image he’s perfectly curated for the past six months since entering university. you’re the chair of his department’s council, a third year, and by some mystical force or another (read: being stupidly whipped) he volunteered to help prepare for a department event and managed to drag the rest of his friends into it.

said friends being gyuvin and gunwook, who are looking at him in judgment and disgust after completing his daily routine of complimenting your face.

“aw, how cute,” is your reply. ricky wracks his brain for another word for pretty, but you’re quick to move one and leave him in the dust. “thank you, ricky! you’re so sweet. anyway, matthew, how’s the—”

gyuvin snorts. “hey, at least she thinks you’re cute.” ricky throws him a punch but it falls weak from the mental damage. 

cute. he hates it. he’s grown to hate it after it became the symbol of you thinking of him as nothing but your cute junior. are his daily compliments not enough of a giveaway that’s he’s lowkey fucking in love with you? what else do you want? a truckload of roses? a barbershop quartet illustrating through song how stupidly down bad ricky shen is for his unbothered senior?

knowing you, even if he gets on stage in front of the whole university and perform a three-act play of how he fell, head first with scraped knees, into the tunnel of torture that is you and your pretty smile, you’d probably just ruffle his hair and coo, “good job! you’re so talented, angel!” because he’s so cute, so lovely, so never going to be boyfriend-able in your eyes and it eats his despairing soul.

maybe if he rips his heart out of his chest and you see the gaping, you-shaped hole it’ll leave behind, you might finally get the idea.

“quit being a drama queen,” gunwook says, throwing a ball at ricky’s bedroom door that’s been locked shut for a good hour now. it bounces right back into his palm and gyuvin is laying flat on the floor next to him. “it could be that she knows you’re into her, but she’s just trying to reject your advances gently because she doesn’t want to hurt you.”

gunwook and gyuvin hear a crash from inside ricky’s room. 

“that’s— that’s, no. i don’t even want to think about that!”

they’re waiting for him to finish changing (if he is just changing. the crashes in his room are becoming sources of concern). you invited them for a nice buffet dinner to celebrate the success of the event. however, the three of them are already thirty minutes late for the restaurant appointment, and hanbin had to come over and pick them up with taerae in tow after hearing the news that ricky shen— cool guy extraordinaire— is having a breakdown over a girl. 

there are now four men waiting in front of ricky’s locked bedroom. gyuvin gets sick and tired and starts banging on the door. “hurry up! do you want to keep the love of your life waiting?”

“damn, you guys were serious,” taerae posits. “is he actually in love with her?”

“i’m afraid so,” gunwook solemnly shakes his head. 

hanbin hits another concerned knock on his door, and lo and behold, ricky finally cracks open his bedroom door and walks out—

walks out in an ensemble that they can only unanimously describe as jarring. 

leopard print. leather pants. gold chain necklace. a pair of shades are hanging on the way too low cut shirt and they wonder if he’s gonna wear them indoors. he’s got a leather jacket folded over his arm and it’s twenty four fucking degrees.

“what do you think?” ricky asks, eyes proud, expectant, and sparkly. hanbin doesn’t have the heart to break it to him. “i read somewhere that the pattern symbolizes, uh, confidence and sexiness, i think. this will make her stop thinking that i’m cute, right?”

“yeah,” gyuvin replies. “she’ll think you’re hideous instead.”

“google tells me that the leopard print is a symbol of, and i quote, absolute femininity.” gunwook has his eyes trained on his phone. he looks up and gives ricky a once-over. “if you’re trying to go for the femme fatale look, then you’re doing a good job.”

it takes a moment for ricky to react.

when he does, his reaction consists of grabbing onto the hem of his allegedly ugly shirt and starts pulling it over his head.

“whoa, whoa, whoa— what are you doing?!”

gunwook quickly tries to stop him from stripping. gyuvin is laughing his ass off. taerae has a hand covering his mouth. hanbin is stressed. “quit picking on him! ricky, you look fine!” ricky is not fine. his styled hair is not disheveled and he’s visibly upset and sulking. gyuvin is losing his mind. he’s on the floor and hitting the ground.

“are you trying to be cute right now?” taerae asks. this just scrunches up ricky’s brows even more and makes his bottom lip jut forward.

“n...no…?”

“well, shit,” taerae laments. “it’s a genetic disease. she’s never gonna take you seriously.”

the only emotion ricky knows is despair.

he’s supposed to be hot and sexy and handsome, why can’t you see that? do you have a pink filter when you look at him, or something? is that it? that’s gotta be it, right? because why else would you be so unaffected when he feigns nonchalance, brushing through his hair at a precise timing when he notices you starting to turn to his direction. it’s your heart that should be beating like crazy when he greets you with a half-smile and a nod— not his, not his, not his when you return it with a full-smile, so bright and beaming, of your own.

“oh, you’re finally here!”

ricky doesn’t believe in bucket lists. he lives in the moment. he doesn’t want things so desperately to the point where he writes them down on a checklist taped to his desk. the list definitely doesn’t have the words “get miss department chair to fall in love with me” written on it with scrawled letters. and he doesn’t didn’t give himself a deadline to date you by the end of the year.

he’s given himself until the day he dies because the moment he met you was the first time he imagined watching someone walking down the aisle. 

yes, he’s down bad. yes, he sings hopelessly devoted to you in the shower five times a week and replaced the word you with your name. yes, gyuvin has a recording. 

“ah, we’ve been waiting for you, kids,“ you say once they’ve all settled on their seats. kids. he scoffs. insult to injury. he’s pouting and picking on a plate of galbi. he feels like shit even though you’re sitting right across him all pretty and sweet like the strawberry shortcake you ordered— which he’s trying his damn best to not steal a slice from because he’s pretty sure you’re just gonna go, “oh! you really like strawberries, don’t you? so cute,” and he’d much rather choose physical over emotional torment, thank you very much.

“they were caught up in something,” taerae responds to your initial statement. your eyes gloss over them with curiosity.

“why? what took you guys so long?”

four sets of eyes are on ricky and his patterned shirt. the bossam wrap in his mouth won’t swallow down his throat. it was too late for him to change out of the symbol of femininity. mid-strip, hanbin got a text from you so he got dragged out, guilty in leopard prints and gold, out of his apartment.

don’t you fucking dare, ricky glares at the suspicious look gyuvin is wearing as he brings a glass of water to his lips. gyuvin clears his throat, “we had to wait for ricky who was dressing to impress y—” and is subsequently elbowed and chokes on his water.

hot. ricky feels hot. not the sexy kind, but the icky embarrassing kind because he wants to cover his burning face and stab gyuvin with a fork in the process.

“oh?” you voice out from across the table. you’re plucking out wads of tissue paper for a dying gyubin but your eyes are trained on him. oh my god. he wants to rip this shirt off and die, but he can’t do that. he can’t. he hasn’t been working out enough lately due to stress. “not everyone can pull off animal prints. it looks really good on you.”

huh.

“and you’re not wearing your usual silver! you look cool today, ricky.”

oh.

what.

“you really think so?” gyuvin, who has now recovered, eggs you on further in behalf of his malfunctioning friend. there’s steam rising to the ceiling and it’s not from the open grill. he exchanges glances with gunwook and taerae. they catch the signal and press on. “doesn’t he look—”

“—would you dare say—”

“—handsome?”

“hot?”

“sexy?”

you let out something in between a cough and a laugh. 

they don’t miss the flustered jitter filtering the sound coming out of your throat.

mission success.

“ahaha, what are you kids saying?” ricky doesn’t miss it either. the initial shock of you not calling him cute has worn off and now it’s up to him to finish what his friends have started. he doesn’t miss the way you try to brush them off while fanning your face with your free hand, the way you reach out for a glass of water with the other and there’s a nervous bob in your throat when you swallow. “a—anyway, let’s make a toast for the success of our event!”

when he clinks his glass with yours, ricky  maintains eye contact amidst the noise of the cheers. his gaze is deep and you’re caught off guard— escaping with a laugh and turning away as you down half of your beer glass in one go. holy crap. holy shit, it’s working.

ricky can see it. there’s hope for his bucket list. he’s gonna swear by leopard shirts and gold chain necklaces if he continues to get this kind of reaction from you.

“it’s not because of the ugly shirt.”

gyuvin snaps him back to sanity once dinner concluded and they start leaving the restaurant. “it’s because we manipulated her brain waves into finally noticing that you’re hot,” gunwook inserts. they’re all outside now. you’re bidding the other members goodbye and gunwook nudges him forward. “you’re welcome. you owe us a meal.”

now, even with the newfound confidence and hope, ricky’s knees still buckle when he approaches you from behind. why is the back of your head still pretty? why?

at the moment, it’s taerae’s turn to receive your goodbyes, wedged between two cars, one of them his. he notices ricky’s looming nervous wreck of a presence from over your shoulder. “ah, and this is my cue to leave,” he says. “thanks for the meal, miss chair. get home safe.”

“you too, taerae! thanks!”

when you turn around, you bump into him. maybe he intended it, maybe not, but god damn the uncharacteristic flutter of your surprised eyes is destroying his plans to act cool, act nonchalant, act totally unaffected with how prettily you’re looking at him under the dim parking lot lights and the night sky. “oh!” you exclaim after reformatting, after putting on your doting senior voice again and it kills him because that’s a night of progress down the drain. “are you kids heading out now? oh, sorry, this is your car, right? i’ll get out of the way.”

he frowns. totally uncool, perfectly non-nonchalant, and completely affected but he doesn’t care anymore. 

“what do you think of me?”

the words jump out before he knows it. screw his bucket list. he’s gonna proclaim his undying love for you even if it kills him.

you blink. “what?” a laugh bubbles from your throat— a mix of trying-to-brush-him-off but nervous at the same time. “ricky, what do you mean?”

his face is knotting up. he’s totally pouting right now which he’d rather be caught dead than doing, but he’s now twice the dead man. ricky takes a step forward. you take a step back until no more steps can be taken because your back hits against his car, and he’s grasping at the straws desperate to get even an ounce of a hint of a sign that you’re finally taking him seriously. “what do you think of me?” he repeats, voice a little lower this time. your expression is completely taken over by peaches of fluster, this time. no sign of the composure you’ve usually perfectly maintained.

“oh, uhm.” your hands are unsure and held hostage in the air because his arms serve as a barricade around you, palms pressed tightly against the cold glass of the front seat window. you’re nipping at your bottom lip. ricky just died thrice. “what—what i think of you? well, uh, you’re a very good, very cute, very hardworking junior that i adore, and i—i appreciate all the help you’ve offered to the counci— oh!”

ricky lets out a noise and buries his nose into the crook of your neck, arms that were once caging you are now completely wrapped around your waist. he’s putting all of his weight onto you. he is a corpse. he mumbles something unintelligible into you skin and you ask him to repeat it. “i don’t like it,” he says more clearly, still muffled, whiney all the same. “i’m not cute. i’m cool and handsome and totally in love with you but you just don’t get it.”

it’s quiet. ricky is anticipating the worst, which would be you calling him lame and a loser, but you don’t do that. you don’t push him off either.

“how can i not think you’re cute when you act like this?”

instead you pull him in closer. his eyes widen, and he feels your fingers digging into his hair, a tender touch on his nape, and he feels himself melting and turning into stone at the same time. 

“i never thought you were being serious every time you greeted me by calling me pretty. i thought you were just being playful and trying to earn extra points from me,” you hum. he sinks further. the only thing propping him up is you. “but calling someone pretty every day is barely a confession, ricky. how was i supposed to get anything from that? gosh, you’re so cute.”

“it usually works,” he mumbles. he doesn’t want to show you his face. he probably looks stupid right now. “i thought my new shirt worked too. gyuvin and gunwook don’t agree.”

“i think it’s cool.”

you finally pry him off, hands on his shoulders and he feels himself buckling. he’s pretty sure he looks stupid right now— pink and flushed and dizzy, but your face harbors no judgment. “i think i prefer the shirt owner over the shirt though.” only a familiar gaze of fondness and god, he’s so in love and you finally understand that. “now, why the hell are gyuvin and gunwook still loitering out here?”

ricky didn’t believe in bucket lists. at least not until that damned day of reckoning, when the nonexistence of his list suddenly came to existence, harboring one thing and one thing only. 

now, he’s got that one thing crossed out. he’s thinking of adding more.

YOU’RE MY BUCKET LIST. © hannie-dul-set, 2023.

[ju1cyfru1t]

one way mirror

(rise! Donnie x reader)

rottmnt x reader

angst??? idrk, gn reader 🤞

on my mother listen to this fcking song 😭

No excuse

Sent my love away, and now I'm so confused

Tried so hard to leave, and now I wanna get back

I wanna get you back

Wanna come to you

Donatello stared at his computer with dead eyes after another sleepless night. His lab has always been a place of escape; a safe place, a sanctuary for him. Now it felt so empty and lifeless, despite the bright neon purple lights and little space left in the room.

He glanced over at the loveseat in the far corner where you’d curl up and wait patiently while he worked, your bored eyes scrolling your phone. Always waiting just for him.

Why did he have to push you away? If this was the right choice, then why did it feel wrong? If this was what he thought he wanted, why did he want nothing more than to run back to you? Why did it hurt so bad to know that he can’t?

No embrace

No one there to kiss me when I end my days

Tried so hard to run, and now I wanna get back

I wanna get back

Wanna run to you

He’d always been a turtle who valued his peaceful quiet time, but the silence and absence of your laughter in the air killed him.

Donnie leaned back in his chair and pictured you standing behind him, your warm arms wrapped around him tightly. Your presence as you leaned over his shoulder to watch as he tinkered. He could never tell if you understood a word of what he was saying but he did know you listened, and that was more than enough for him. You were more than enough.

He knew he could never be close to enough; he couldn’t give you what you needed. You were always waiting on something, and he knew that wasn’t fair to you no matter how desperately he wanted it to be. He knew you would wait as long as it takes, even if it was hundreds of years and that pained him. It made it so much harder when you were so understanding; the guilt burned him from head to toe.

He closed his eyes, imagining you were holding him like you always would whenever he needed you to. Short, gentle kisses when he was having a long day. Your secret moments just for the two of you, and now you would have to give them to someone else. It’s a struggle for him not to be selfish when it comes to you, as he wished your longing glances would exist only for him but now all he could see in his head was the hurt and confusion in your eyes when he let you go.

He finds it almost humorous but incredibly despairing how two people can go from being so, so close to strangers in a matter of minutes. Funny yet mournful how he can’t feel truly like himself anymore without you by his side, and frustrating that he didn’t know if he ever would.

It was all his own fault. He did this to himself after all.

But why do I feel like a stranger behind a one-way mirror?

Like someone listening in

I haven't felt myself since

I can't say when

But I wanna get you back

——————————————————————————-

STREAM RICKY’S NEW ALBUM Y’ALL🤞

the first time I listened to this song, WHICH IS THE FIRST SONG ON THE ALBUM FOR SOME REASON, I was in math class and I had to FIGHT to not sob right then and there because like wtf Ricky

[tizzyizzy]

More Reasons Izzy's Death Doesn't Work

Assuming you're not writing grimdark where the point is that no one is safe, it can be tricky to pull off killing a sympathetic character in a satisfying way. S2 does not nail the landing. Here are a trio of types of character deaths, and why Izzy's doesn't end up succeeding any any of them.

The Tragic Death

A tragic death, first and foremost, Bad. The audience should be sad, the framing is sad. This death is meant to raise the stakes, or deal an emotional blow to the other characters. If the major villain does it, it makes them seem more menacing, and makes the audience hate them even more. This often occurs in the "dark moment" before the third act, and is part of the protagonist's internal struggle under the weight of their mission. Their death helps the goal seem impossible to reach. If it happens at the climax, the death shows the costs of victory.

Is Izzy's death a tragic death? It's true he's shot by the main villain at the climax but...no. Ricky wasn't defeated; he's still out there. The main couple don't actually intend to pursue him, and are instead settling in to a happy life. Most importantly, Izzy's death was nowhere near sad enough to function as a tragic death. Sure, there was some sadness in his death scene, but the funeral scene was incredible short and almost offensive in its lack of emotional impact. If anything, Izzy's death seems to have cleared up Ed's emotional issues instead of burdening him with despair.

The Final Redemption

This is a classic for redeemed villains and cynical antiheroes. In these deaths, the character marks the end of their character arc by making some final sacrifice for the greater good or their new friends. Their death has meaning for the dead character, the plot, and those they sacrificed themselves to protect.

Izzy's cause of death is more or less random. He just happens to be the one holding the knife to the villain's back.

You could say Izzy's final words are his final redemption, with him giving a final apology. This could work, but unfortunately, not with Ed. At least not how it was handled here.

Izzy had already completed his character arc of accepting Ed retiring and supporting Stede and Ed's relationship. Worse, any of Izzy's wrongs against Ed pale in comparison to Ed's wrongs against Izzy, especially in S2. It doesn't help that Ed had an entire arc of him failing to come even slightly close to making up for what he did. So instead of being glad that Izzy apologized to Ed on his deathbed, we're baffled Izzy is apologizing to the man who forced him to eat his own toes, shot off his leg, and drove him to suicide.

And his dying words fall on deaf ears, since Ed just up and leaves his "family" immediately.

The Good Death

Everyone has to die sometime. A good death is a scene where a character dies, usually due to some sort of natural cause, at peace. This may mean they're surrounded by family and friends, or doing what they love to do most. The point is that, while death is inevitable, to die well is still a happy ending.

Izzy's death isn't peaceful, and following a sneaky plan from Stede isn't what he loves to do most. Worst of all, he isn't surrounded by family. Sure, a some people say he is, but watch the scene again. The reason Roach doesn't even attempt to help Izzy is not only because Izzy is a goner (for some reason). He is also giving Ed space to be with Izzy semi-privately.

Everyone who Izzy developed relationships with is standing back in favor of Ed, who he has just barely started to get along with again. You can't even get a good look at the faces and reactions of some of the characters who had the most meaningful interactions with Izzy.

You could say it's a good death because he is with Ed, but the plot has simply failed to build this up as something satisfying. In fact, focusing on Ed is sort of tragic in and of itself. If this is Izzy's ideal happy ending, it suggests he was obsessed with Ed to the point he'd rather die giving advice and closure to Ed (who will ignore his advice) than be close to the people who actually helped him heal and find peace.

Conclusion

Writing this actually helped clarify, I think, why the death didn't work, but might seem to be doing something on the surface.

There are all sort of bits from each of these meaningful types of deaths. Izzy's speech to Ricky seems like a statement that could seem like part of a brave, dramatic confrontation or last stand, but the actual killing blow falls out of nowhere, without drama. There is tale of revenge that the leads have no interest in pursuing. Izzy's apology is supposed to be a capstone to his development with Ed, but Izzy's supposed corruption of Ed was so downplayed compared to Ed's brutal abuse of Izzy that him apologizing felt more offensive than cathartic. We're supposed to feel like Izzy finally got to die happy after a long life, but Izzy's life just seemed to be starting after healing from his trauma, with his life snatched away just when he was beginning to explore its possibilities.

This is the danger of relying on tropes without understanding the underlying reason why they work. It's why you can't say, "Izzy is a mentor figure, actually, so he should die for Ed's development" on the day you're shooting the scene.

[ambi-kiko]

tma music tma music tma music

please reblog with your own! i need it (:

also im more than willing to elaborate on any of em, just ask! (i have much to yell about)

for bitchard, we have:

kiss me, son of god (they might be giants)

i'm gonna win (rob cantor)

blood & money (the orion experience, orion, linda XO)

ruler of everything (tally hall)

BlackBoxWarrior - OKULTRA (will wood)

community gardens (the scary jokes, louie zong)

the main character (will wood)

your body, my temple (will wood)

laplace's angel (hurt people? hurt people!) (will wood)

saint bernard (lincoln)

welcome to the internet (bo burnham)

all eyes on me (or3o)

my ordinary life (the living tombstone)

cabinet man (lemon demon)

peter x elias (for my frenchies out there <33)

marine marchande (les cowboys fringants)

ok dont judge me too much i had to have smth for them ((: plus its not that unrelated

next! martin

a better son/daughter (rilo kiley)

12 feet deep (the front bottoms)

things to do (alex g)

be nice to me (the front bottoms)

step on me (the cardigans)

heart for brains (roar)

mama (my chemical romance)

summer child (conan gray)

hello my old heart (the oh hellos)

i cant handle change (roar)

against the kitchen floor (will wood)

least favorite only child (leanna firestone)

sharpener (cavetown)

empty bed (cavetown)

life's a beach (bears in trees)

jmart ((:

no children (the mountain goats)

the moon will sing (the crane wives)

euthanasia (will wood)

as the world caves in (matt maltese)

the truth (the front bottoms)

balade à toronto (jean leloup)

doctor (jack stauber)

apocalypse (cigarettes after sex)

talk to you (ricky Montgomery)

cabo (ricky montgomery)

meteor shower (cavetown)

juliet (cavetown)

feel better (penelope scott)

would you be so kind (dodie)

two birds (regina spektor)

line without a hook (ricky Montgomery)

and jon, ofc <3 i rly dont have enough for him ):

body terror song (AJJ)

downhill (Lincoln)

montreal (penelope scott)

ramblings of a lunatic (bears in trees)

its called: freefall (rainbow kitten surprise)

chin music for the unsuspecting hero (foster the people)

love, me normally (will wood)

dinner is not over (jack stauber's micropop)

also melanie! dont have that many but she deserves the mention (:

saturn suv (fredo disco)

brave as a noun (AJJ)

tongues & teeth (the crane wives)

wreaking ball (mother mother)

we fell in love in october (girl in red)

and just random songs with tma vibes (other characters, ships, dread powers, etc)

underground (cody fry)

hand me my shovel, i'm going in! (will wood)

terry's taxidermy (teddy hyde)

cotard's solution (will wood and the tapeworms)

amnesia was her name (lemon demon)

memento mori: the most important thing in life is death (will wood)

skeleton appreciation day in vestal, n.y. (will wood)

icicles (the scary jokes)

puppet boy (devo)

oh ana (mother mother)

i dont smoke (mitski)

choke (I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME)

thermodynamic lawyer esq, G.F.D (will wood and the tapeworms)

sorry haha i fell asleep (egg)

despair (leo)

stuff is way (they might be giants)

baby teeth (baby bugs)

king park (la dispute)

i/me/myself (will wood)

dr. sunshine is dead (will wood and the tapeworms)

amygdala's rag doll (ghost and pals)

little pistol (mother mother)

burning pile (mother mother)

this is home (cavetown)

body (mother mother)

turn the lights off (tally hall)

like real people do (hozier)

im going insane

[thisisyourdriverspeaking]

Seeing as it's race week, I thought I'd bring back my motorsport number ones posts & look at the number one songs when the F1 drivers were born... but this time with US number one songs. Enjoy.

Fernando Alonso (29th July 1981) - Air Supply - The One That You Love

Lewis Hamilton (7th January 1985) - Madonna - Like A Virgin

Nico Hulkenburg (19th August 1987) - U2 - I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

Daniel Ricciardo (1st July 1989) - Milli Vanilli - Baby Don't Forget My Number

Valtteri Bottas (28th August 1989) - Richard Marx - Right Here Waiting

Sergio Perez (26th January 1990) - Michael Bolton - How Am I Supposed To Live Without You?

Kevin Magnussen - (5th October 1992) - Boyz II Men - End Of The Road

Carlos Sainz Jr - (1st September 1994) - Boyz II Men - I'll Make Love To You

Pierre Gasly - (7th February 1996) - Mariah Carey & Boyz II Men - One Sweet Day

Alex Albon - (23rd March 1996) - Celine Dion - Because You Loved Me

Esteban Ocon - (17th September 1996) - Los Del Rio - Macarena (Bayside Boys Mix)

Max Verstappen - (30th September 1997) - Mariah Carey - Honey

Charles Leclerc - (16th October 1997) - Elton John - Candle In The Wind 97

George Russell - (15th February 1998) - Usher - Nice & Slow

Lance Stroll - (29th October 1998) - Monica - The First Night

Zhou Guanyu - (30th May 1999) - Ricky Martin - Livin' La Vida Loca

Lando Norris - (13th November 1999) - Santana & Rob Thomas - Smooth

Yuki Tsunoda - (11th May 2000) - Santana & The Product G&B - Maria Maria

Logan Sargeant - (31st December 2000) - Destiny's Child - Independent Women

Oscar Piastri - (6th April 2001) - Shaggy & Rayvon - Angel

All added to the playlist from before 😊

[upslapmeal]

Dot and Bubble

Ok so having two Doctor-lite episodes in a row is really making me think that The Devil's Chord would slot in nicely between 73 Yards and this ep...

ok straight up forgot to make any notes for the first chunk of this because I was having fun!

not to be incredibly basic but instant black mirror vibes

‘trust him it’s saved my life so many times’ except when you died babes

the person playing Lindy is so good at being rude and obnoxious in a way that makes you feel sorry for her and root for her to pull herself together

you can't. hmm. you can't walk without the arrows?

hon we know you're not a child but like. you can't walk. without the arrows

congrats to Ruby and Fifteen but not fully bursting out laughing though I guess the mavity of the situation must help

turn left! to get to safety!

oh Lindy you are so frustrating!!!

what an effectively infuriating portrayal of how we so often prioritise distraction over action on a global scale

but also it's definitely giving 'this important deadline is in a few hours!!!!!! going to watch some youtube'

Fifteen: I want to help you not die Lindy: stupid ugly blocked

these characters have truly excellent names

‘eaten’ Ruby and Fifteen 😬😬

‘I think he’s not as stupid as he looks’ RIP

….is this a city for white people? hmmmmmm

shoutout to the lady who walked straight into a lamppost in front of me as a kid like Lindy because we stepped out of a building, my mum did a big sigh because it was nice and warm, the lady turned to look and thus was not looking ahead

lady at least you know how to walk without arrows

'you’re SO good at walking’ lmao

‘I thought this was the worst day of my life but maybe it’s the best’ ‘……there’s still thousands of people being eaten alive’ Lindy babe. priorities. PLEASE

‘rocket ships and flame throwers and weed killers’ a true arsenal

if the dots are directing them to the slugs…did they let the slugs in? create the slugs? why not just turn into an Evil Flying Ball for everyone

I mean. then there would be no story so I'll let it slide lol

oh no. Lindy.

boy they are just totally unable to deal with anything negative

completely unequipped for things not working for them without there somehow being a Good Thing

oh lads. it is a city for white people

man

Ncuti is SO good

the disbelief and the rage and the sadness and the despair and

that’s why Lindy was so offended they were in the same room together

that's why Ruby got through to her when Fifteen didn't

that’s why Ricky was so annoyed at the Doctor explaining the code

they're not going to make it 5 days are they

and Fifteen's theme here is *chef's kiss*

Last week we had Millie's first ep and this ending was Ncuti's first scene????? Legends both of them. What an episode. What an ending. A lot of fun until it very suddenly Was Not.

[morningovertakes]

it took the rest of my life to erase your true name from the inside of my mouth. i died with your courting gift still the first spell i knew.

-- rickie despair, "first girlfriend", published in dead love poems

[amuseoffyre]

Ended up lying awake last night thinking of Ed and Zheng as mirrors of one another.

Both of them are at the top of their game, the Pirate Queen and the Legendary Blackbeard. Both of them are brilliant tacticians, clever and astute and excellent at reading a situation and using it to their benefit.

While Ed leans into visual Fuckeries with smoke and mirrors to inspire terror, awe and confusion, Zheng inclines more towards emotional Fuckeries. Auntie said it herself - "men are so fucking emotional" and Zheng uses that over and over again to get the results she wants.

We see it in the way Zheng takes control of situations with Bartholomew, Stede and Ricky. Where she lures them into a false sense of security, assures them, encourages them, tells them what they want to hear (only Ricky is more murdery than she anticipated, which is why that one goes so horribly wrong. She thought he was just weak. She didn't know he was spiteful and brutal - the fact he's someone with a legitimate source of power is the difference here. The others are desperate or have no other choice but he has choices and his choice is to be "the worst").

It's very similar to Ed's "fear is a powerful emotion: turn your enemy's fear against him and you'll own him". He uses it to make Stede run him through and to scare people into behaving and submitting. Both of them target peoples' emotions but while Ed goes for fear, Zheng goes for the soft underbelly, finding their emotional vulnerabilities and playing on them.

At the end of 2x08, Zheng does to Ed what Ed does to Izzy in 1x04: suggesting something she assumes he wants (Ed offering the captaincy to Izzy/vengeance for Izzy), indicating that there's a way to get it (Ed's retirement and vacating the spot / joining forces), flattery ('the crew are going to need someone who really knows the ropes' / 'the Pirate Queen *and* Blackbeard'). They operate using the same playbook and he recognises it when she not only tries it on him, but refocuses it on Stede to keep him sweet as well.

It's also a demonstration of the weaponising of gender and race for both of them. Ed is fully aware of how he is perceived and has seen it printed in black and white in the British propaganda. He hates it, but when he's in his deepest despair, he uses it, dressing and acting as they assume he will to terrorise them - the nine guns, the black around his eyes, calling himself "the fucking devil" after the print of the "the devil pyrate blackbeard".

Likewise Zheng knows there's a certain expectation of women, especially in a region where the colonising forces are primarily shown to be white, and uses it to her advantage to keep people off balance, knocking the emotional legs out from other people and keeping them down before they can work out wtf has happened. The scene with Bartholomew when he goes to the white guy first, then the black guy and only then to Zheng herself and the way she uses that to take control of the scene is beautiful. She also plays it sweet and nice and gentle, friendly and self-depracating, to make herself seem less of a threat, even when she has just kicked ass in front of them and they fall for it.

Both of them have a certain kind of reputation and an earned respect, but likewise, they are both also hankering for something else. A break in the day when it's become a bit of a grind. A bit of softness when everything else about their life is hard.

The difference comes from Zheng choosing the path she's on and expanding her conquests, while Ed has been pushed onto his by circumstance since childhood. Zheng actively pursues her ambition while Ed feels strangled by the reputation and name that precedes him.

I'm so curious where they'll take their arcs if/when we get S3, when Ed has made moves to step back from that life, but will inevitably be dragged back into it, while Zheng has faced her first major loss and needs to recalibrate and change her tactics.

[fanaticsnail]

Babe, at this point, just take the playlist:

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6aGOhPb0p8MAyAyXxuvOdH?si=2TKkcJExTnaguNCqx6bUVQ&pi=u-B9AJuWw1QtCE

OOOOOOOOH MORE SONGS!! Thank you, you absolute darl! Always up for some new tunes to loop while I write! I'm loving the Ricky Montgomery on there.

This song: Maple Syrup - The Backseat Lovers.

It gives me Dad Donquixote Rosinante and Son Trafalgar Law. Especially the "Your purple sweater is sitting in my living room. I tried to wear it, but I knew that it would smell like you." I know it's comes across as a breakup, but I can hear it as the loss of a parent too. Or maybe something else entirely.

For example:

Imagine Law keeping his dad's crusty, old, dark-feathered coat and trying it on. Imagine him applying his face paint in the mirror to see what he'd look like donning it. Imagine him breaking down when the memory of his adoptive dad's age sinks in, knowing he'd never see what he'd look like older. Imagine Law's turmoil at the fact his birthday is rapidly approaching, finally lapping the age Rosinante was when he perished.

Imagine him being so overwhelmed by the despair that all who he holds close could slip away at any moment. Imagine him hearing "I love you, Law," and picturing his dad's face as he lay broken, riddled with bullets and bleeding out in the icy snow.

Imagine Law looking in the mirror again with tear-soaked eyelashes, wiping the paint from his face with his wrist and forearm - only for his glassy eyes to get a glimpse of blonde in the corner of the reflection.

The memory of a smile, the scent of tobacco, the shuffle of clumsy feet, the taste of rum tinting the air, and finally fully seeing the hooded red hat crowning a silent man sitting completely still and waiting in the corner of the room.

Is he back? Surely that's impossible.

[seokmthw]

shining excalibur | shen ricky

⇢ pairing: ricky x reader

⇢ warnings: royalty au, death, blood, mentions of bombing, angst, king!ricky, king/queen!reader

⇢ word count: 1.3k

⇢ note: in my abc headcannons for ricky i said that a royalty concept would fit him really well, so here's this! maybe i'll expand on this overall idea someday, who knows. also, i used quanrui instead of ricky because it sounds more fancy to me!

JOIN MY TAGLIST!

"i won't let you go!"

the despair in your voice was hard to miss. you'd been begging him for what felt like hours not to leave the safety of your castle — he couldn't risk his life. you couldn't rule the kingdom without him. you couldn't bear the thought of him going out to war and never returning.

he sighed heavily, walking from his place near your chamber doors over to stand directly in front of you, hands coming up to delicately cup your cheeks and catch the new tears that had begun to fall, eyes searching your face in hopes you'd understand, but he knew he wouldn't get what he wanted. you grabbed his wrists, clutching them tightly in your hands, practically begging, "please don't leave me."

"y/n," he started, "i'm the king, you know i have to fight for our people. it'd make me look like a coward if i didn't and let others die for me instead." you choked on a sob that had been threatening to rip itself from your throat and collapsed into his chest, tears staining the fabric of his undershirt. he held you close, tears pricking the corners of his eyes now at the realization that this is what the war had come to.

he didn't want to leave, either.

"i'll do everything i can to make sure i come back to you," quanrui’s words were soft, his lips finding their home on the crown of your head. he closed his eyes, breathing in your scent and relishing in the last moments he had with you in his arms, "just promise me you'll keep the kingdom in order while i'm gone."

you nodded, not daring utter a single word as you balled your fists up behind his back. you let out a broken cry, body shivering as the sobs overtook you, and you felt your legs begin to wobble. this was beyond unfair. you shouldn't have to lose him because your opposing kingdom had an unresolved rivalry with your own. you shouldn't have to do this alone.

quanrui began to pull away, catching your lips in a desperate kiss, as if you make sure you knew how deep his love for you ran. you sniffled after it broke, uttering a soft, "i love you."

"i love you more, y/n"

quanrui began to dress himself in his suit of armor, sheathing his sword at his hip and settling his crown down on the thick, wooden nightstand beside your bed. he was almost unrecognizable as king, had it not been for the rich, royal blue arm covers that distinguished him from the rest of your army.

he hardly had the chance to kiss you for the last time. a deep, indistinguishable rumble sounded from the grounds outside and the screams of many of your townspeople were carrying through the wind. quanrui’s eyes grew wide, panic evident in his voice as he said, "we need to get you suited up."

"what? why?" you asked, bewilderment contorting the features of your face as he frantically dug through his chest to find your protective gear. he helped you get into it, securing it in all the right places, though the tremble of his hands was visible to you, "they're here."

a loud banging against your door was able to be heard, the person on the other side not bothering to wait for an answer as he barged in, making himself known. quanrui’s second in command, taerae, was standing in the doorway, the look on his face unable to read before he blurted, "king quanrui, they're bombing the villages." you felt your heart sink into the pit of your stomach, a deep sadness instantly filling your body.

quanrui’s face grew hard, his brows furrowed and his nostrils flaring out in anger, "we need to get y/n out of here," his voice was firm, "now."

quanrui grabbed your hand, pulling you behind him as taerae guided you down the hallway, the maids and butlers as well as visitors from other countries flocking to escape the castle as well. the halls were cramped with bodies, everyone's shrieks mingling with one another in the air, and you felt yourself begin to shut down.

quanrui glanced over his shoulder at you, motioning for taerae to take a detour down the hallway many people were passing. your vision was blurred with tears and it was difficult to know where you were going, but you trusted quanrui and taerae would be able to get you out of there unscathed.

before you knew it, the crisp, night air was flooding your nostrils, but the stench of gunpowder and lead was unmistakable. the village was engulfed in flames, bodies were laying limp in the grass, there was fighting and bloodshed in the fields. you knew the opposing kingdom was capable of terrible things, but you didn't think they'd blow up and entire village of civilians and children. your voice was shaky as you said, “our people.”

quanrui turned you away from the sight, instead having you focus on him, "listen, we're gonna be alright. i will make sure you're able to get out of here without a single scratch, okay? i just need you to-"

a sickening crack was able to be heard from overhead, and upon looking up, you were greeted with the sight of a cannonball making a new home in the side of the castle. debris was falling at a rapid pace, and without thinking, quanrui grabbed ahold of your wrist and began running forward, shielding your body with his own from any of the stone that threatened to hit you.

taerae was following close behind, his sword in hand as he kept a lookout for anyone who dared try to bring harm to you or quanrui, but he was too late. the king of the opposing kingdom greeted you with his own sword, piercing the flesh of your belly with the blade. you peered down in horror, your own blood soaking your hands and dripping down the dazzling silver.

quanrui completely halted, far too stunned to speak. instead, king hanbin spoke, venom laced in his words as he growled, "this is what you get for not playing by my rules," he shoved his sword deeper, a pained grunt escaping your lips, "next time, i'd advise you listen to me."

with that, he yanked his sword away from your body, a sadistic grin pulling the corners of mouth upward at the sight of his revenge against your king. he turned his back and began walking away, not bothering to look at you as you fell to your knees into the damp grass.

quanrui was quick to be at your side, pulling away the fabric from your wound to get a better look at the damage king hanbin had just caused. he was visibly sobbing, begging taerae to find something to create a makeshift tourniquet to try and stop the bleeding, but it was far too late. your vision was fading, tears falling down onto your cheeks once more.

you reached up and touched quanrui’s face, your blood leaving streaky fingerprints in their wake. you smiled sadly, silencing him when he tried to say something. instead, you spoke, your voice surprisingly calm, "i love you, my king."

your consciousness slipped away from you, hand falling heavily to your side, head beginning to lull around as quanrui clung to you, a wail erupting from his body as your soul slipped away. he pushed your hair away from your face, placing a gentle kiss in your forehead, whispering, "i'll come find you in the afterlife." anger took over now, and he commanded taerae to band your strongest soldiers together to take care of king hanbin once and for all.

if he didn't die from avenging you, he surely would from the grief he felt in his heart.

[hannie-dul-set]

May I respectfully request taerae pls☝️

[a way out, or a way further in]. kim taerae has been your friend since freshman orientation. your uni ride-or-die, if you will. and for the past year or so of being stuck with you in acads and extracurriculars, outings and group projects, he’s noticed three things about you: one, you’re a chronic overworker. two, you don’t give a shit about anything that doesn’t involve academic or professional gain.

and three—

“so, which one do you like?”

—you’re pretty popular amongst the members of the campus publication. 

which is a grave concern, considering his first two observations about you.

“what?” there’s a rattle in your voice when you reply, abruptly pausing from opening the door to the publication office to present him a forced, strained, nervous laugh. “haha, what are you talking about?”

taerae looks at you straight in the eye with a deadpan stare. your smile falters, sweat dropping from your forehead. you can’t play dumb with him. the coffee you’re holding was from managing editor hao when you passed by him earlier. there’s a note from junior staffer gyuvin on the first page of your clipboard to meet him later. and when you open the door, there’s no doubt that you’d be greeted with a bouquet of flowers from illustrator ricky shen.

which is also one of the reasons why you’re so hesitant to walk in. he knows that you know that you can’t play dumb any longer, too.

“this is driving me crazy. i joined the publication to write articles, deliver news, and add one more credential to my CV. i didn’t sign up for this ouran high school host club bullshit.”

“then just reject them.”

admittedly, it’s very funny seeing you with your head in your hands— stressed and despairing while you’re surrounded by the cup of coffee from hao, the rose bouquet from ricky, and an additional stack of already copy-read papers from gunwook because he just “happened to have nothing to do.” your hair is a mess thanks to jiwoong. you’ve got an appointment with gyuvin in the afternoon and dinner with matthew in the evening. to top it all off hanbin offered to drive you home.

“how can i reject them when they haven’t even confessed?”

that’s true, taerae agrees with a hum. to add, you probably don’t want to ruin your work environment by breaking any of their hearts, so you have no other choice but to take the brunt of it all. “this’ll all be over if you just pick one, you know.” well, you had no other choice. “or, how about a different option?”

taerae presents you with a pretty tempting proposition, if he does say so himself.

“date me.” 

that way, all the other boys are gonna behave once they think you’re taken.

send me a kpop boy (txt/enha/zb1/bnd/dream) to toss into reverse harem hell! [matthew]