#shut up ulrike

[alexanderpearce]

where are my photos of the snowgums that strip back to bright red trunk

[masterbaiting]

[alexanderpearce]

sorry for the addition but i need everyone to know that eric abetz, after stepping back from federal politics for several years, is still alive and has yesterday just made preselection for the next tasmanian state election 💔 all i'm hoping is that they finally pass the anti conversion therapy bills before he's inevitably voted in.

Reblog if you’re part of a hostile nation that’s declared war on Australia

[agena87]

Small (unedited) preview of the two first renders in my series of pinup!Ulrike. The vibes couldn't be more different (and it's even more apparent in the edited versions).

The Homemaker & the Homewrecker (in which she seduces the wife of her rich boss)

---

I'm thinking about making another magazine-like side blog, to post this kind of render (sexy women being sexy, yet classy). I mean, I could post them on @camaieu-magazine, but that's supposed to be an art/fashion magazine. I want an erotic/glamorous one for Ulrike to work for (just like, Camaïeu is the one for which Wolfie works).

This new magazine would also be 100% made by and for women (who may or may not love women). Because no way in hell Ulrike would ever pose for a men's magazine (or even pose for a male photographer - at least, not a straight/bi one -, for that matter). And my multitude of lesbian characters (and the few female bisexuals) deserve something made exclusively for them.

I'm thinking of maybe calling it "Lilith Loves Lavender Lipstick" (4L for short), "Sappho's Violets" or simply "Femme(s)". I don't know.

(also, I'm having Ulrike brainrot, and I'm building some more lore for her - mainly regarding how she became a pinup model and what other work she had done/she's doing; she's a painter first and foremost, but it doesn't pay that well when you're not a renowned artist, so: modelling & some more)

[thebramblewood]

There's no handbook for how to break it to your ex-girlfriend that you can't stay friends because you're about to become a bloodthirsty vampire who may or may not kill her on the spot.

Previous / Next

Ulrike: Are you sure you're up for this?

Helena: Stop asking me that! We'll be done faster if we work together.

Ulrike: I don't know how you can stand to wear that hoodie. It's been like summer the past few days.

Helena: Just shut up and keep this thing moving.

Ulrike: Yes, ma'am.

-

Ulrike: Really? You guys move one mattress and already need a cupcake break?

Isaiah: We've earned it.

Ange: There's been a real dearth of quality baked goods in our lives lately.

Ulrike: Get your asses back to work!

-

Ulrike: What is that on your neck? Is that a hickey?

Helena: What? God, no, it - it’s nothing. Why are you being so nosy?

Ulrike: [smirks] Because it’s fun to see you squirm.

-

Ulrike: Come on! You call to brag about meeting the hottest girl alive - must be, if she beats me - and now you’re going to leave me hanging?

Helena: [cringes] Did I really say that? I was so drunk that night.

Ulrike: Obviously.

Helena: There’s nothing to say because it’s not going anywhere. I’ll probably never see her again.

Ulrike: Ah. She was too good to be true?

Helena: Something like that.

Ulrike: Eat up, Zhao. You look like you could use the nutrients.

Helena: I do feel awfully hungry…

-

Ulrike: It’s the end of an era, huh?

Helena: Yeah, it really is.

Ulrike: You’ve got someplace to stay?

Helena: Oh, yeah. I’ll be fine. [laughs weakly] My turn to borrow a spare couch.

Ulrike: Then where are you headed?

Helena: Home, I guess. [under breath] That should be far enough for now.

Ulrike: Far enough from what?

Helena: I don’t know. [hesitates] Everything? I just need a break.

Ulrike: Well, you could always come visit me in Windenburg. I’d like us to stay friends, you know?

Helena: Yeah, maybe… [doubles over in sudden blinding pain]

Ulrike: You’re really okay?

Helena: [dismissively] It’s just cramps. Can you believe I’ve got my period on top of everything else?

Ulrike: Take care, Zhao. And keep the tarps. Seems like you need them more than I do.

[alexanderpearce]

okay here's my attempt at a last hurrah of propaganda for pearce: vote for him because is this not the cannibalism website! and is this not the bizarre blorbo bracket and is he not far more bizarre of a blorbo to have!

while on his first escape he had to eat people to survive, there is a report (entirely unverified and possibly invented) that when they caught him after his second escape, where he ate another guy, he still had pork and bread with him, leading to the narrative that his first escape awakened a cannibalistic urge in him he had to slake once again.

two of the men on his first escape were described as being quite close in pearce's original confessions and from then on most pieces of media based on the events (including the book bloodlust by nick bleszynski and the movie van diemen's land (2009), as well as the nonfiction book hell's gates by paul collins) have taken that and run with it and been like oh yeah. They Were Gay. bloodlust by nick bleszynski even goes so far as to incredibly homophobically make alexander pearce himself gay, making this analogous to his developing cannibalistic urges.

vote pearce if you stand for weird cannibal guys and really niche history

Round 1 poll 30: Alexander Pearce from Australia vs Stain Edwards from Don't Hug Me I'm Scared

Propaganda under the cut:

Alexander Pearce

he was an escaped convict in lutruwita/tasmania in the 1820s who ended up a cannibal, the last one left of his crew of escapees after they started eating each other because they had no idea how to live off the land without guns. he was caught after some months and admitted to his cannibalism but the authorities thought he was lying to cover up the other guys being bushrangers and out there still at large. a year later he escaped again with one other man, thomas cox. a week after this escape they found him again after he lit a fire in a rush of something like guilt. he said that cox had drowned. he said i have a piece of his bloody thigh in my pocket to prove he drowned :). they hanged him. i live in lutruwita/tasmania and am obsessed with him in a way i feel almost transcends autistic special interest. i've been to a few (hard to access!) places where events in the story took place. i swear i've read every book about him. my tumblr url is @/alexanderpearce.

Stain Edwards

In the height of my Don't Hug Me I'm Scared obsession in October 2022 (following the release of their 6-episode television show) one thing that still stands out to me is Stain Edwards, The Forever Boy (he named himself). Stain Edwards is a pink claymation glob thing that was created by two of the characters (Red Guy and Yellow Guy) after their third member (Bird Guy) "died" (he didn't really die). He was created out of a make-a-best-friend kit to replace Bird Guy and was immediately mocked, belittled, ignored, and abandoned by Red Guy and Yellow Guy before dying himself (it's been a while since I watched it but I think he was sucked into a horrible black vortex or something and then never talked about again). Anyways the instant I saw Stain Edwards I realized that whenever I hear the word "blorbo" with no context, he was the mental image my brain supplied, even before I knew him. Stain Edwards, The Forever Boy, you'll always be famous.

[charmfamily]

(SEMI) CHARMED KIND OF LIFE: EPISODE 3, PART XVII. “GENESIS IN BLACK”

Transcript Below.

ULRIKE: You… come. [She nods toward the stairs leading down and out the back of Madame Madelaine’s ballet academy, perking a brow and smirking at the confused expression on the other girl’s face.]

GEMMA:  What? 

ULRIKE: Class is over, I’m going outside for a smoke, and I’m asking you to come with– I know it’s not an engraved invitation, but consider yourself my plus one if you want to get out of here quickly.

GEMMA: But…I don’t smoke – 

[Pan to a shot of Siobhan Fyres, talking to Luna Villareal, Londyn Pleasant, Audrielle Ernest, and Sofia Bjergsen, while a man in a suit looms in the background, watching them intently: “Yeah, Daddy has been very adamant about beefing up security for me because of the whole “murderer” thing going on – like it’s really killing the vibe of my summer, I’m not even allowed to go to parties without him following me around and this is the worst timing ever, Malcolm’s throwing one on his yacht next Saturday – seriously, I’m thinking about not even making an appearance because this is stupid embarrassing, it’s all anybody is gonna be talking about.” Luna chimes in with an enthusiastic “I know, right?!”] ULRIKE: [She smirks at Gemma, exaggeratedly rolling her eyes.] You seriously wanna stay in here and listen to that? They’re not exactly in any danger of shutting up any time soon.

[wildjuniperjones]

Heads Up Seven Up

@andromedaexists tagged me for a game of Heads Up, Seven Up (thank you!), so here's my last seven lines written for a vignette in The Silver Hand.

Grandmaster Ivarr is the leader of the titular Silver Hand, a monster hunting guild in 1100s Norway. Olnara is his Skald-Consul: basically his consulting mage. Ulrik is Ivarr's best friend and bodyguard.

“I don’t want your pity, you nag! I didn’t ask you to ‘rescue’ me. I was– I was fine on my own.” Ivarr spat. “Fine! If you want to drown yourself in a keg, don’t let me stop you, Grandmaster,” Olnara said with a sweeping bow. “Oh like you have any right to judge–” “WILL BOTH OF YOU KNOCK IT OFF?! It’s the middle of the fucking night!” Ulrik shouted at the top of his considerably-sized lungs, slamming his chamber door open just ells away from the bickering pair. “Either take it outside and kill each other, or go rut in your chambers, but get the fuck out of here so we can get some gods-blessed peace.” Olnara stood frozen for a moment, trying to parse what the huro had said as he shut the door, grumbling all the while.

I'll tag @promiseiwillwrite, @dogmomwrites, @smol-feralgremlin, @onmywaytobe, and an open tag for anyone who sees this!

[alexanderpearce]

did you know that former australian prime minister tony abbott was tangentially implicated in a wildlife trafficking operation back in the early 2000s google 'tony abbott budgie smugglers' to learn more

[alexanderpearce]

what does it all mean

vore/cannibalism alignment chart

i finally made it real. what quadrant are you in

[masterbaiting]

[spacetimewithstuartgary]

Mission accomplished for space telescope Gaia

The space telescope Gaia has created the largest three-dimensional map of the Milky Way ever. On January 15, 2025, Gaia shut down after 11 years in space. But the research on data Gaia collected will continue for many years to come.

Gaia is a space telescope onboard a satellite that has orbited the sun for 11 years. With the help of astrometry, which is a technique to measure the positions, distances and movements of stars and other heavenly bodies, Gaia has been able to measure distances and luminosities for up to 2 billion stars, which is about 1% of all stars in the Milky Way.

The Gaia mission was originally supposed to last five years, but thanks to the fact that it has been so successful, it has been extended in two rounds.

"The Gaia mission has been the most successful ESA mission ever if you look at the number of publications. There are around five publications per day based on data from Gaia," says Andreas Korn, who is one of the researchers at Uppsala University that works with Gaia.

Discovered moons orbiting asteroids

The three-dimensional map that Gaia created, helps to write the history of the Milky Way, and Gaia's data is a treasure trove for future observations and discoveries.

Until now, we have, among other things, discovered moons orbiting asteroids in our solar system, black holes 30 times heavier than the sun, and how our solar system moves around the center of the Milky Way, how many spiral arms the Milky Way has and what the bar in the middle looks like.

"Gaia has discovered very different things, among others a galaxy that collided with the Milky Way around 10 billion years ago. It has been named Gaia-Enceladus, after the mythological son of Gaia," says Korn.

Observed the entire sky

As opposed to, for example, the Hubble telescope and the James Webb telescope, Gaia has not observed specific objects, but instead observed the entire sky through a rotation of the telescope's field of view. In that way, all celestial positions have been able to be observed repeatedly, up to 200 times. Data from Gaia has also been a prerequisite for, for example, the observations that the James Webb telescope has recently been able to make.

Korn and Ulrike Heiter, both senior lecturers at the Division of Astronomy and Space Physics at the Department of Physics and Astronomy, have worked with Gaia for 18 years. They are members of the European collaboration Data Processing and Analysis Consortium (DPAC), with 400 researchers that analyze Gaia's data, which is made public in various data releases.

Uppsala University's part in the Gaia projects is to analyze data for the most common stars in the Milky Way. Uppsala University has a 40-year history of developing models of this type of star, which, like the sun, have a surface temperature of about 6,000°C, but also of colder objects, so-called M-dwarfs.

"We work mostly with the astrophysical part of the Gaia project, that is, with parameters such as surface temperature, mass and composition that can be deducted from Gaia's data. Our work makes sure that no physically incorrect data are released," says Korn.

Fuel will soon run out

On January 15, 2025, the Gaia observations were stopped because the fuel that steers the satellite in the orbit around the sun will soon run out. Gaia has been moving in an orbit around the sun, around Lagrange point 2 (L2), 1.5 million kilometers outside the Earth's orbit. L2 follows the Earth around the sun and is the best observation point, and it is also from here that the James Webb telescope observes.

With Gaia's retirement, the telescope itself is being shut down, but the satellite continues orbiting the sun, but far from L2, as we only want to have active satellites at L2.

No new scientific data will be gathered by Gaia, but the researchers continue the data analysis of already collected data for several more years and new data releases are planned for 2026 and 2032.

IMAGE: Model of the Milky Way from above. Credit: ESA/Gaia/DPAC, Stefan Payne-Wardenaar, ESA Standard Licence

[alexanderpearce]

cuthbertson narrative, printed in alexander pearce by dan sprod

'you know, he's a very smart young man, ollie. but he would sell his own grandmother to get ahead.'

[alexanderpearce]

do you people even know about shawn the prawn

[alexanderpearce]

to be quite honest to know the dead you do have to eat them and then spit out the living particles!!! (heiner müller quoted in translating words, translating cultures by lorna hardwick)

[alexanderpearce]

something really bad happened in australian parliament yesterday. this is real