#richie vinegar

[henryskene]

Antihero | Fantastic Voyage | 2022

[buggybambi]

lost in translation | carmen berzatto

you get a job working as a waitress at the bear. if only you knew it would get you here. ─ 3.68k ─ angst and fluff, breakups / fighting, some cursing, reader is younger then carmy.

THE STRANGERS PHASE

The first time you and Carmen met was when Nat and Richie had hired you as part of the Bear staff. 

A waitress, and a sweet looking one at that. Younger than him. "You guys finally settled on a candidate?" Carmen asks as Natalie and Richie watch you from the small window in the kitchen.

You sit there for a moment before adjusting the silverware, passing Richie's test almost immediately. "I believe we just did." Nat confirms. Carmen takes a look for himself and swears his heart skips a beat as he watches you for a brief moment before clearing his throat, having to pull himself away. "Okay. Cool." He brushes it off.

He didn't get the chance to meet you right away, not until the night before their soft opening. You'd been through training, getting used to the system at the Bear and getting accompanied with staff. All but one. The head chef and owner, 'Carmy' as everyone called him.

"Hey, you're the new hire, right?" A voice asks as you shut your locker. You jump a bit, as you turn, smiling. "I am." The male nods, holding out his hand. "Sorry about scaring you. I'm Carmen Berzatto, don't think we've had the chance to meet." He introduces.

You accept the handshake, swearing you feel a little spark between you two just from touching him.

───

From there, it was like clockwork. You and him would get stuck closing together, and each night you'd dive into a new part of his past. "So, what made you wanna open this place?" You question. He exhales, momentarily pausing his movements of scrubbing the counters before he sniffles. "My brother left it to me after his death."

You pause, staring at him. "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have asked-" He laughs. "You couldn't have known. It's okay, really. I actually wanted to work here, or what used to be here, for the longest time by his side but he didn't let me. Never knew why. It was the thing he left me in his will." He gives a more in depth answer.

You nod slowly. "I'm sorry about that, Carm. His death and not letting you work here." You specify as you look at him. "If it's any comfort, I think your brother would be really proud of what you've turned this place into." You say.

He nods, sniffling again. You set your rag back in the soapy water, sighing as you mark off your final station to clean on the clipboard.

"See you tomorrow night?" He asks as you begin walking to the lockers.

You smile. "It's a date, chef." You confirm. He blushes at the idea of you and him being on a date.

───

Carmen swore to himself he'd take you on an actual date. The planning was easy, it was actually asking you that he found to be a challenge.

"So, are you seeing anyone?" He asks, trying to sound as casual as he can the next night when you two are closing, which didn't come for almost a week. Though he was grateful, it also felt like torture having to wait to get you alone.

"No, I'm not actually. Chicago hasn't exactly been my Paris, you know? City of love and all that bullshit." You answer as you stare at the chore list for that night. "Check the mayonnaise labels. Does Nat think our mayo is expired?" You question.

“Nat thinks all of our stuff is expired one way or another. It doesn’t expire ‘till the nineteenth of May.” He grabs out a knife to start chopping the vegetables. “Anyway, Chicago isn’t really known for its romance.” He points out.

"So I've been told." You stare at the menu. "What's a vegetable medley?" You question as you look back up at him, catching him staring at you. He clears his throat and quickly sets the knife down, wiping his hands on a towel. "Uh, it's a bunch of veggies like green and yellow bell peppers, asparagus and squash topped with balsamic vinegar.” He answers.

You nod slowly. “Only you can explain something like that and make it sound so good right now, Carm.” "Did you eat today?" He doesn't hesitate to ask. "Haven't had a chance to. Richie had me running around all day with the new system, but don't worry, I'm gonna make myself something at home."

"No, come on. I'm- You're not driving home hungry like that. It’s a safety risk. Sit." You go to protest before he repeats himself. "Sit."

The entire night was spent with you and Carmen eating his way too fancy dishes and talking. Sharing memories - childhoods, dreams, stories.

He likes to consider it your first date.

You like to consider it the night you fell in love.

───

You weren't sure what you and Carmen were after that night in the kitchen. Or how to even ask. Do you just come right out and say it? Is there a specific way or time to ask? Google provided zero help, so it was up to you to solve this one.

Maybe that’s what was driving you and Carmy apart for the next week: your mind trying to run through how to even approach that with him. It wasn't until he ambushed you at your locker that you were forced to approach the topic with him. "Not talking to you all week has been driving me insane. Are we okay? If dinner was too much.." He lets his voice trail off.

You smile, as you exhale. "Carmen, I loved dinner. I was just unsure of where we stood. Thought I was driving myself crazy trying to figure out if that was a date or not." You admit. He stares at you, nodding slowly. "Let me take you out to an actual dinner. A real date night." He requests.

You nod. "Okay, I'd like that." You barely have another chance to speak before Richie's calling your name. You place a hand on Carmen's shoulder as you pass him, giving him a small smile before you rush to find out what Richie needs you for.

Carmen watches you leave, wishing you'd come back to him.

Carmen had thought of your date night perfectly. A romantic, rooftop dinner overlooking Chicago’s nighttime streets. “You bring all the girls up to your rooftop, Berzatto?” You question as you stare at the cars passing by.

“Only the special ones.” He’d answer with a grin.

You wished he kissed you that night, but he didn’t. Instead he settled for dropping you off at your apartment before leaving. You could tell he wanted to kiss you, too, but he wanted to wait.

"So, you and Carmen?" Sydney asks as you help her open the Bear that morning, cutting vegetables up with her. You sigh, a smile on your face regardless. "How'd you hear about that?" You question in return.

“It’s the Bear. There’s no such thing called secrets when you work here. Everyone knows everything about everyone. Now, you and Carmy?” She asks again as you laugh. “There’s nothing going on between us. He and I got dinner a few times, but I don’t think it’s going anywhere.” You say with a shrug.

She stares at you, noticing the blush in your cheeks. You grin. “Don’t even. Nothing has happened between us.” You reiterate. She laughs, grabbing her bucket of vegetables. "Whatever you say!"

You roll your eyes, turning and staring at Carmen in the doorway. There he goes again, staring at you when you aren't looking. It doesn't slide past you that he has a noticeable sparkle in his eyes.

───

Of course the universe would have it out for you and Carmen to close together that night. As you two stand over the counters, cleaning them down, you decide to ask the question that had been plaguing your mind.

"What are you and I?" You ask, looking up at him for the first time. His scrubbing stops, as he looks back at you. "I want us to be together." He answers honestly, and you're a bit taken back by his honesty.

“You seem like you’ve thought about this.”

“More than you know.” Translation: I’ve thought about you.

You nod slowly as you walk over to the sink, beginning to wash your hands. "I want us to be together, too. I just don't want this to be weird between us because we work together, you know." You voice your concerns as you grab the towel, drying your hands.

You turn, finding him standing behind you. "I don't care if we want us to be together. I want us to give.. us.. a chance." He says, taking your hand in his. You stare at your hands interlocked as you hum. "Carmen."

"Yes?" He asks softly.

"If you don't kiss me right now I might just walk out and not come back." You tease.

He doesn't have to be told twice, and he kisses you like he's been thinking about it. Like he's been needing that. Hands cupping your face, yours finding his waist.

You didn't need much of an answer as to what you and Carmen were after that.

THE LOVERS PHASE

You and Carmen had agreed: the staff didn’t need to know you two were officially dating. If it was important enough to share, sure. But other then that, you two wouldn’t go around publicly announcing it.

Turns out, dating Carmen wasn't much different from being friends with him. Except now you were in the kitchen at two in the morning, slow dancing with him.

It'd started with dinner that night. Him holding you from behind,

Frank Sinatra plays lowly on the radio as he spins you around, with you grinning as you sway with him. “Who taught you to dance, Berzatto?” You question.

“Nat did. Taught me for her wedding. Said if I looked like a fish outta water she’d ban me from the reception.” He answers with a lovesick grin. You laugh, throwing your head back. “Sounds like Nat.”

He smirks. “And who taught you?” He asks in return. You hum as he pulls you closer to his chest, as Sinatra’s ‘The Girl from Ipanema’ plays. “I did. Convinced myself when I was a little girl I'd be like Misty Copeland.” You answer.

He grins. Only two weeks had gone by with him being officially yours, and he was falling in love with you. Maybe that’s why it spilled out as he held you close.

“I love you.” His voice is hushed.

You pulled away only a bit to look at his eyes. Maybe searching to see if they were genuine, if he said what you think he did. "Carmen..." You smile, a laugh coming out. "I love you, too." You repeat it back to him.

"Take the too out. Makes it sound like you're just agreeing." He requests softly, lips brushing barely against yours. You giggle at his plea, but comply anyway. "Carmen, I love you." You say it again, this time it feels more real.

Two weeks in, and you two are in love. If you knew any better, you'd assume you were screwed.

───

"What do you wanna do with your life?" The question startled you as you and Carmen sat on the balcony of your apartment, overlooking downtown Chicago. Buildings illuminating the night sky, car horns blaring every few minutes from the nighttime traffic.

"I wanna open a bar. Maybe go to Los Angeles or New York, just open my own place. You know?" You hold your knees up on the patio chair with you, a cup of tea in hand. "Some dive bar but... fancier. Live music, live entertainment."

He nods slowly, grabbing out his notepad. "Get out of Chicago?" He asks. You laugh. "Pretty much. Don't get me wrong, I love this city. This just.. isn't the plan." You say with a shrug.

"Mm." He says, scribbling something down on the paper. You lean over, staring at it. "What are you drawing, Berzatto?" You question. "Nothin'. It's a surprise, if I show you it now it won't be a surprise." He points out.

You grin as you lean your head back. "Okay. What about you? Is the Bear your final dream?" You question, still looking over at him. He sets the pen down, looking over the skyline. "I don't know. Though until I met you I had all my dreams and goals figured out."

"Don't say it-"

"You're my new dream." He grins, looking over at you. You laugh, rolling your eyes. "That was unbelievably cheesy, Berzatto. I don't know if I can ever look at you the same after that." You tease.

"You don't have to look at me to kiss me." He points out as you roll your eyes, standing up. You give him a quick peck as you open the door, stepping halfway inside. "Don't take too long getting to bed, okay? It's cold out here." You comment.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming." He waits until you're fully inside to pull back out the notepad. Sketched on is a logo for a bar, your bar. Your name written in what he imagines is neon lights. 'ANGEL'S BAR'. The way he views you, an angel. His angel.

He hums, standing up and making his way inside, the notepad tucked under his arm. He finds you in the living room, sorting through the mail. “Hey, hey, my old college roommate’s getting married. New York. What a terrifying city.” You laugh as you set the invite down, before his arm wraps around your waist, pulling you down to the bedroom. 

───

Carmen had spent so much time in your apartment that it practically felt like his own. So, the idea of asking him to move in wasn’t totally crazy. His clothes were now hung up in your closet, his cologne and cedarwood soap lingered.

Your relationship with Carmen had grown, so much so that you were now spending time with his family. You stood in the kitchen of the Berzatto home. Your first family dinner with them, and it had been more drama filled then a soap opera. Soft music filled the room, cinnamon roll scented candles lit making the house smell like a bakery. Your scarf hung on the staircase banister. 

"First official Berzatto dinner. How ya holdin’ up?" Sugar asks as she slides beside you, handing you a glass of wine to match her own. "Oh you know me so well. It's going.. as good as I expected it to be. Are they always this chaotic?" You question.

"Hell yes. The Berzatto family has never been calm, y'know?" She laughs. "But you seem to be fitting in nicely. And this is the first year of us doing one of these that Carmen truly seems happy, I think you're to thank for that."

You grin. "Well, as long as he's smiling." You and her watch him in the living room, chasing down the younger family members, laughing as they tackle him down to the floor.

"Yeah, well, I've seen Carmen with other girls before, and none of them have made him this happy. So, on behalf of the Berzatto family, thanks for bringing us a smiling Carmy." She raises her glass to you as you laugh, lifting yours as well.

Carmen watches as you clink glasses with Nat as he enters the kitchen. "You two doing good in here?" He asks. "Oh, we are doing wonderful. I should go find my husband." Nat says, smiling and walking out of the kitchen.

You sigh, setting your wine glass down behind you on the counter. "Hi." He greets, arms wrapped around your waist. You hum, wrapping yours around his neck. "Hey you." You reply, pressing your lips against his.

“I’m really glad you’re here.” He says quietly after he pulls away, placing his forehead against yours, closing his eyes.

You smile, placing a hand on his cheek. “I’m glad too, Carm.”

───

Arguments in relationships are common. They’re healthy, they bring growth. You and Carmen had a fair share of disagreements but never ones where he called you the name he did tonight: clingy. 

“Can you just fucking leave me be for a second?! I don’t need you crowding me and being so- so fucking clingy.” Right in the office of the Bear, as you made sure he understood what was happening with Syd’s plans. 

Now here you were, in Nat’s living room. “He probably didn’t mean it, you know?” She asks softly as she pushes some of your hair out of your face, wiping tears that fall down your cheeks. “I think he’s just been so worried about our mom, her issues and the Bear.”

“What if he did mean it though? What if.. What if he was just with me out of convenience or pity?” You voice your worries. She shakes her head. “I have never seen Carmy as happy anywhere else as he is with you. He loves you, Y/n. He wants to be with you, no one else.” She replies.

“You don’t call the people you love clingy.” You point out. She sighs, letting you lay your head on her shoulder. No matter what she said, nothing changed how you felt. Carmen thought you were clingy. Whether subconsciously or not, he thought it. 

The thought made your heart ache. 

───

You were younger than Carmen, you knew that much from the moment you met him. But it had never been an issue in your relationship, until now it seems. A simple, offhand comment about kids and marriage you had made to Syd. You wanted those things, and you wanted them with Carmy. 

That’s what landed you in this position on a cold night, with him sitting on the armchair in front of you and you on the floor, crouched to try and read his eyes. Find any sign that you could get past this. 

“We’re just on different paths. I shouldn’t have allowed myself to get this close to you. And I should have stopped myself before I hurt you.” Translation: you’re still young and I can’t hold you back.

He didn’t stay after that. His clothes still hung in your closet, with you on the floor of the living room. 

Translation: what now? 

THE ENEMIES STAGE 

“So, plans for you being in New York?” Diane asks as you and her sit on the rooftop of her apartment building. You sigh, as you lean back on your chair. “Drink a lot. Forget my relationship problems in Chicago and hope for the best.” You answer with a nod.

She rolls her eyes. “Come on. You can’t expect to fix your relationship in different states without talking.” She points out as you look over at her. “When did I hire you as a relationship therapist?” You tease. “Carm and I will be fine.” 

You couldn’t find the translation anymore for what “fine” meant. 

───

The wedding was gorgeous. Diane looked stunning and her husband was the sweetest man. The sun was setting over Manhattan, as you sat at the open bar perched on the rooftop. Staring at the missed call from a familiar contact: ‘Chef’s Kiss’. Carmy. 

Maybe you had asked him for too much. Wanting kids, marriage. He’d give them to you if you asked, you knew that. But the idea of him just putting up with that just to keep you? 

You didn’t return his call or any of his texts. Instead, you kept quiet until you returned to Chicago a week later. A box perched on your apartment doorstep with your belongings. Jewelry, shirts you left at his place. All of them except for the scarf that still sat on Donna’s staircase banister.

Maybe he kept it because it smells like you. Or because it reminded him of something pure. The one thing he really knew was now gone, and the scarf was a fragment of that. 

───

It didn’t shock any of the staff at the Bear when you turned in your notice and stopped working there. Or when you took the couch you and Carmy used to sit on during late night conversations and moved it eleven hours with you to New York. Along with his hoodies, the one you wanted to keep most because it smelled like him still. 

You didn’t delete the videos or photos you had with him. It feels too real if you do. 

You stared at the kitchen. Where he used to hold you, scolding you for how you handled knives. The balcony, where he told you that you were his new dream. The living room where he’d kiss you like it was the first time. The bedroom, where some nights, he made you his own, and others he held you while you slept. 

The only thing you found in the apartment that was foreign to you? A piece of notepad paper, with “ANGEL’S BAR” drawn on the front. You stuck that in your pocket as you made your way to your car. 

It hurts to look at. It hurts to think about him. 

Now it’s just you, in your hundred square foot apartment that you share with a roommate now. You manage to delete the playlist of songs that he loved swaying with you to in early mornings in kitchen lights. You learn his favorite melody by heart: stranger, to lovers, to enemies.

─── 

Closing that chapter of your life, you focused more on opening Angel’s Bar. His logo on the front, in downtown New York. Soft piano playing as chatter fills the room, drinks being poured in the corners. 

It may have just been Carmen’s luck to find you on opening night, chatting around with the customers as he watched from the window, a familiar red scarf wrapped around his neck to help fight the cold air.

Translation: it reminds him of innocence. It reminds him of the better part of himself, the one you brought out in him.

Carmen learned to take lessons from break-ups pretty early on into his life. The one he got from you?

“Falling in love isn't for the weak. So don't try it at home.” He closes the book that he was given as an assignment for his AA class.

Maybe you were his favorite melody after all.

𓍢ִ໋🔪 ♡₊˚ 🧣・₊✧

shine on, shine on, my loves!

thank you for reading! please feel free to engage with this post by reblogging, commenting or sliding into my inbox to leave feedback! i appreciate all of you! check out my carmen berzatto masterlist here for more fanfics!

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@wabi-sabi1090

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- mae

[sydcarmyfan]

May this Cherry bring you good fortune

Sydney is the cherry that brought Carmy good fortune, but time is running out.

Cherries are sweet and have lots of health benefits. In some cultures, it is believed that cherries bring good fortune so adding cherries to someone’s life will help them.

When Carmy says ‘’A vinegar. Some kinda…’’, Syd adds ‘’cherry?’’ leading them to think of cherry vinegar so it is evident that the cherry in vinegar will add more to the dish.

Richie says, ‘’Emmanuel doesn’t do cherries.’’ Notice that Richie doesn’t say that Emmanuel is allergic, he simply says that he doesn’t do cherries which implies that he can have them, but he chooses not to. Emmanuel has Sydney. He already has good fortune in his life so he doesn’t need to have cherries.

Cherries have lots of benefits, but it is important to remember that cherries only blossom for a short time. Cherry picking season only last a few weeks and after they are picked, fresh cherries last a few days even if you put them in the fridge. If frozen, cherries can last a year maximum but due to being frozen, the cherries will become mushy and will not taste the same as when they are fresh so that is why fresh cherries are the best. For cherries, Every Second Counts!

Back to Sydney being the cherry in Carmy’s life. Sydney’s role in the changes at the restaurant is very significant; like a cherry, Sydney has brought Carmy good fortune, but cherries only last a short time after they are picked. Carmy chose Sydney as his partner; he picked her but Carmy froze Sydney out by bailing on her and making changes to things without speaking to her first. Remember that cherries will get mushy and not taste the same after being frozen so Syd is not going to be the same in s3. In the last episode of season 2, we are shown time above Sydney’s head a few times so time is running out for this frozen cherry. Tick Tock, Carmy.

As Syd is the cherry that brought Carmy good fortune, Carmy is the bear and he will bring good fortune to Sydney. Did you know that cherries are considered a luxury? Cherries are expensive because cherry trees are hard to look after; weather and many other things can have a significant negative impact on their growth but don’t worry, bears are here to help! Bears are known for snacking on cherries and by doing this, studies have shown that bears are helping cherry trees during climate change, so as Carmy is the bear, I am hopeful that he will help Sydney during the changes that may be coming her way.

🍒🐻🍒🐻🍒🐻🍒🐻🍒🐻

[reddie-ao3feed]

Playing Nightly

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/aqCRNxP by ProseApothecary “I know this town must seem dull and puritanical to you,” Eddie says. “But we are not so naïve as to be blind to derision.” Richie’s expression becomes inscrutable. “You misjudge me. I find the company here quite charming.” “Yes, well,” Eddie somehow only feels more irritated, like a vinegar balm’s been applied. “Miss Smith has a veritable well of insights on the neighbourhood goings-on.” Words: 1101, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Fandoms: IT - Stephen King, IT (Movies - Muschietti) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier, Beverly Marsh, Sonia Kaspbrak Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Beverly Marsh & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak & Beverly Marsh Additional Tags: georgian era au, Strangers to Lovers, Austen-style, Grief/Mourning, All the Losers live I promise read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/aqCRNxP

[scenedenial]

carmen berzatto character study - scenedenial on ao3

Carmy’s living room is very bare apart from the striped couch they dragged up off the street where it lay, abandoned, and scrubbed for several long hours with vinegar and baking soda because Carm has a thing about germs and is just kind of anal in general.

There are cookbooks scattered and piled high across the floor. Mikey and Richie used to make fun of the way he read, voracious, desperate for information. Skinny, lonely, fatherless kid, only 5’2 his freshman year of high school, all the girls towering over him, made worse by the drawing and the dog-eared biographies of fucking Jacques Pepin spilling out of his hand-me-down backpack.

[impulsivesuperrobin]

random hc i’m projecting

2017! richie and bev have a mutual love of ketchup chips

stan and eddie think they’re disgusting

bill, mike, and ben don’t have an opinion either way and just take the side of whoever they want to shut up more about it at the time they’re in the “why not eat regular salt and vinegar chips” camp but their opinions on those vary and they’d never say it out loud bc bev and richie will go on a rant on how they’re not the SAME (they’re right)

[zeek-the-f1ght1ng-nighthawk]

It took a little longer than either of them would have wanted, but Richie did eventually show up to the hospital. He asked where Rory’s room was, yada yada, and stepped inside, holding a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and his laptop.

“Holy shit you weren’t joking-“

@zeek-the-f1ght1ng-nighthawk you should come visit me at the hospital dude, I wanna show you my nub arm

Also bring snacks the food sucks here.

[majinsawdust64]

I got a mini printer that prints pictures and stickers and so I decided to decorate my laptop since I had a few stickers on there before.

[it-shitposts]

richie : hey , can i have a sip of your water ?

stan : it’s not water

richie : vodka ! i like your style

stan : it’s vinegar

richie : w - what ?

stan : it’s vinegar , pussy

[yesiwasateenagewerewolf]

When Richie announces to the Losers that he's dating a guy, Eddie - freshly divorced and living on his own for the first time in his life - declares, with a rather maniac gleam in his eye that he wants to throw a dinner party for the Losers to meet Richie's boyfriend.

The thing is Eddie has never thrown a dinner party before. In fact, Eddie has only recently started to cook for himself at the tender age of 41. He's teaching himself with a step-by-step guide.

So far he's made boiled eggs, fried eggs, poached eggs, scrambled eggs and he's planning to try making an omelette. The step-by-step guide starts with eggs so that's what Eddie's doing. Still he is determined he will throw a dinner party for Richie (and his boyfriend.)

Eddie goes out and buys scallops. He buys fresh pasta. He buys expensive wine. He plans an extravagant menu starting with lightly seared scallops. Then he overcooks the scallops, terrified he'll give someone food poisoning, and turns them into rubbery little bullets.

He's forlornly wondering how to save them when there's a knock at the door. It's still hours before anyone is supposed to arrive. Eddie opens the door to find Richie standing there.

"I know I'm early, but I thought you'd be freaking out so I'm offering my services as a sous chef," Richie says, wandering in and rolling up his sleeves. He heads straight for the kitchen and surveys the mess Eddie has made.

Eddie trails behind him, slightly mesmerised by the fact that Richie knows him so well. Richie scrapes the rubbery scallops into the bin and suggests they make a salad for a appetizer. He sets Eddie to chopping vegetables while he tastes the ragù Eddie has made.

It tastes like beef, tomatoes and salt. "Don't worry! We can fix it," Richie assures, opening one of the expensive bottles of wine and pouring some into the ragù. He hunts through Eddie's fridge and finds garlic and onions which also get added.

Eddie has been tending to a small collection of fresh herbs which he keeps on his kitchen window sill because his cookery guide said fresh herbs would taste better. Richie picks some thyme, bemused, and adds it to the pot.

"Eds, why are you growing these if you don't use them?"

"I was going to! I was going to try an omelette with chives if the plain omelette went well."

Richie smiles fondly. "We can always make omelettes if everything else fails."

He helps Eddie make a simple salad dressing from the oils and vinegars in Eddie's cupboards and Eddie is surprised by how delicious it all is. Richie even slices up the organic sourdough Eddie buys to make a bread basket for the table. It's rustic and homey. Eddie loves it.

It's nothing like Eddie planned, but it's so much better. He sets the table while Richie washes his hands and heads off to pick up his boyfriend.

Left alone, Eddie puts his head in his hands and sobs.

He realises - too late - that he did all of this to impress Richie. That he wanted to show Richie he could be good partner material. He wanted to make Richie a delicious homecooked meal, host a fabulous party, make Richie feel adored and loved.

Instead Richie was the one who showed what a good partner he'd be. Thoughtful, understanding, helpful. Things Eddie knows people wouldn't believe if he told them but things Richie has always been for Eddie. And Eddie was so happy cooking with him, playing house, being domestic.

But this is a dinner party to meet Richie's boyfriend and Eddie, because the universe really does love making Eddie miserable, has just realized he's in love with Richie. He goes to the bathroom and splashes cold water on his face, worried the other will know he was crying.

The Losers arrive. Richie arrives for the second time, but now with a young man called Anthony. Anthony is nice. He's an actor - mostly on the stage, but he's had some small parts in police procedurals.

He's younger than Richie, but doesn't run afoul the 'half your age plus seven' dating rule that everyone outside of Eddie seemed to know about. He's polite, nice, offers to help clear the plates which Eddie won't hear of because he's a guest.

When Eddie starts clearing the table, Richie just joins him, following Eddie into the kitchen and asking about desert. Eddie - horrified - realizes he never even thought about dessert. Richie tells him to brew some espresso and hunts through Eddie's fridge for ice cream.

Five minutes later and with just two ingredients - espresso and vanilla ice cream - Eddie is serving Affogato and blushing at the compliments he gets from Bev (who spent time in Italy) and Bill (who really likes Affogato and how did Eddie know?)

Everything is cosy and relaxed and intimate in the best way. Eddie doesn't even really register Anthony after a while. He drinks wine and talks to his friends, catches Richie watching him and smiling proudly.

It's so good until, one-by-one, the other Losers start to stand and stretch and yawn and tell Eddie they had a wonderful time but they need to be going now. In the end it's just Richie, Eddie and Anthony left.

"I should get a head start on the washing up," Eddie says. Richie nods.

"Yeah, I should be getting this young man home."

Anthony swats at him playfully and Eddie's heart aches.

He says goodbye to them and goes into the kitchen, needing to be alone.

He hears Richie linger, telling Anthony on the doorstep that he just wants to say thank you again and that Anthony should wait for him in the car.

Then Richie is back, in Eddie's kitchen, relaxed and happy, grinning wide.

"I just wanted to say thanks again, Eddie. It really means a lot to me this party and you hosting it. I'm gonna deny I said any of this tomorrow and blame it on the wine, but I was really worried me coming out and dating guys would change things between us."

"I'd blame the Clown but it's not like the 80s were an enlightened age. It's shitty but I still had your voice in my head telling me I'd get AIDs if I touched a subway pole. I know we were just stupid kids and you didn't mean it, but your mom...fuck this is coming out wrong."

"It just means a lot to me. That's all. It just really means a lot to me."

"Richie, I..."

Eddie doesn't know what he was going to say, but then it doesn't matter because he's kissing Richie, and Richie is kissing him.

They're kissing in Eddie's kitchen while Richie's boyfriend waits for him in the car downstairs. It's so wrong but Eddie doesn't stop it. He lets Richie push him back against the counter, moans into the kiss, clinging to Richie, hungry for everything he can get.

Richie is the one who breaks away, who looks at Eddie with wide-eyed fear - as if seeing Eddie for the first time - the one who books it out of Eddie's apartment as fast as his legs will carry him.

Eddie quietly cleans up, trying not to think about what just happened.

He's about to go to bed when there's a knock on his door.

He opens it to find Richie standing there.

"I broke up with Anthony," Richie says, watching Eddie wearily, as if he expects Eddie to shut the door on him.

Instead Eddie takes his hand and kisses him again.

[heytherejulietx]

stan: hey richie, can i get a sip of your water?

richie: it’s not water

stan: oh, vodka, i like your style!

richie: it’s vinegar

stan: wha-

richie: it’s vinegar, COWARD

[incorrectnessduskwood]

Richy: Can I get a sip of that water?

Dan: It's not water.

Richy: Vodka, I like your style!

Dan: It's vinegar.

Richy: What? 😲

Dan: It's vinegar, pussy.

[applefrither]

Ok tagged by @egg-bro the bro of all eggs 10 songs 10 artits let’s go

1. Kiss off - the violent femmes

2. We are the hellhounds - the taxpayers

3. The cutter - echo and the bunnymen

4. Piss and vinegar - against me!

5. Viva Las Vegas - dead kennedys

6. Love you to death - type o negative

7. Richie daggers crime - germs

8. Machine gun etiquette - the damned

9. Figurative theatre - Christian death

10. Capitalism - oingo boingo

I dunno mr mike tagged like all of my mutuals im supposed to tag ten people I don’t know just do it if you see this :)

[barclaysangel]

Richie: Hey, could you hand me some of that water?

Stan: It's not water.

Richie: Oh, vodka, I like your style-!

Stan: It's vinegar.

Richie: What..?

Stan: It's vinegar, PUSSY—

[legends-live-in-memories]

I Have Too Many Opinions. ep. 1

lmao. i got encouragement to post my opinions on fandom things and now i want to make a miniseries doing just that. so here i am. doing just that.

im putting it under the cut cuz this was 4 whole pages including the disclaimer. yes i put a disclaimer and i explain why.

Anyways, here is the first piece in what inevitably will become fandom info dump, this time on thomas astruc’s writing on miraculous ladybug. but only some of my opinions cuz we would be here all day otherwise.

So… a disclaimer before I begin… 

I do not hate Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir (yes i'm using their government name). I am quite a fan of the show actually despite its faults. I am also older than the intended audience but was obviously younger when the show first aired which is how my interest was piqued (the fact that its been 6 years and only 3 seasons says more about the show than me being a fan for that amount of time but also i never want to rush content creators cuz they're doing their best) and due to my age, there will be inherent bias in my approach of what i'm about to say as there is in EVERY opinion. The fact that it is an opinion should imply the presence of bias but most people tend to lack the critical thinking skills required to draw that conclusion ANYWAYS…

If I did hate the show I would not have this blog nor would I be even writing this because i tend to not give more than 2 seconds of thought to things i actively dislike (some of yall should give this a try) and i'm allowed to like things that are designed for an audience that i was originally a part of but grew out of. (I don't suddenly stop liking things because I'm older despite what many younger fans seem to believe about older audiences. I also don't need to be ‘allowed’ to do anything cuz i wasn't asking for permission anyways.)

This will not be character bashing, astruc bashing nor fandom bashing cuz, again, that would imply i hate any of those elements and if i did, i would not dedicate brainpower to them. Analyses and criticisms of media are fun and engaging and required if you wish to produce good enjoyable content. Now most of this should be already assumed and self-explanatory but people on the internet like to play morality roulette roll dice on purity culture and I rather have documentation that I am in fact not bullying fictional 14 year olds or a grown man. But alas, people get trigger happy whenever someone has less than 1000000% positive opinions on something they like and will throw out words they can't define (gaslight, baiting, toxic, problematic, gatekeep etc) in an attempt to defend their blind devotion, 

which is not needed, if you like something you never have to defend it, even if i don't like it. If you respond to anything I post saying you disagree with me, I will not argue with you. I won't debate back and forth and try to convince you that the things you like are wrong. Unless you are being absolutely tone deaf to what i'm saying, you wont get a negative reaction from me. So don't try to fish for a fight. Please. I got metaphorical hands for days and I'm mean, you don't want me hurting your feelings on the internet. Do yourself the favour. Difference of opinion is how we get diversification in media and is inherently a good thing. Now that that's out of the way, please don't ever let me have to say that again. I beg.

Now onto the fun stuff

I didn't know what I wanted as a first topic so my trusty internet friend @moonlitceleste suggested astruc’s writing… 

AND BOI do i got some opinions on ole tommy boi. Again I don't hate the dude. In fact, he has worked on a few shows that had defined my childhood, including but not limited to W.I.T.C.H. (all eps available on youtube for those interested, 2 seasons, general fun time all around).

So I don't think he’s scum of the earth but I do think his approach to writing mlb specifically has more misses than hits.

The first big miss is that he has no idea how to write 14 year old girls. At all. Almost every girl he has ever written feels like some terrible archetype built entirely for marketability and childish projection and pubescent self-insert (kind of). He has never been a 14 year old girl. I have. In fact when the show first aired, I WAS around the (assumed) age of the mlb characters. The behaviour he passes off as quirky or awkward or just the character’s genuine personality tend to perpetuate harmful stereotypes of teen girls found in the media and are never actually addressed as harmful. they just get swept under the rug. Marinette’s exuberant collage of teen heart throb model boi Adrien Agreste and her very painful almost fan worship she has of him (which flip flops like a paper sandal in the rain) being portrayed as a cute school girl crush uwu, Chloe being the y7 Regina George, Alya being the token best friend of colour with her ‘sassy’ personality (i want y'all to imagine me eyerolling so hard i bust a vessel in my eye), Kagami being the very damaging Perfect Asian Child stereotype. And before y'all get on your dusty soap box and defend going on about “BUT IT'S FOR CHILDREN”,,,, know this.

 i don’t give a solid fuck. 

Not one. 

Children arent stupid. Children are always going to remember the richy bitchy blonde who bullies the art kid, and the big kid, and the shy kid, and the non white kids, and was only nice to her equally rich white friend who she probably had a crush on or was only ever civil to her equally white lapdog. They're going to remember the half asian girl who was never allowed to actually be asian or the only black girl who existed solely as a soundboard for enabling bad habits or chastising the main character for the same habits she enables in the first place (boi aint THAT a topic for later). Like do i really need to explain that alya chastising marinette for taking max’s spot in gamer just to play with adrien rings absolutely hollow when she actively encourages her to sabotage the contest she’s in just so Kagami doesn't win?? Like I don't have to explain that right?? Again kids arent stupid and its quite something that Mari gets chastised for proving herself the best video game player regardless of her intentions just cuz it comes at the expense of max’s feelings/ego but is actively encouraged to sabotage not only kagami but herself by extension cuz kagami is ‘competition.’ Adrien is not a trophy to be won. And no I don't expect 14 yrs old to be perfect and to always make good decisions but these decisions are never addressed as being bad decisions. they get swept under the rug cuz those decisions were necessary for the ‘plot’ but astruc can barely keep characterization consistent and his characters suffer for it and it's the same children you preach are watching it that suffer as well. Cuz guess what? I KNOW 14 yr olds aren't like that cuz i've been there done that (this is the last time i'm saying that i promise) so I know astruc is just metaphorically throwing darts to figure out who says and does what without consideration for pre established personalities to drive the stalemate plot along. The same kids you say are watching this don't know that that's not how preteens work and will absorb and internalize those dynamics like baking soda and vinegar. Cata-fucking-strophically. 

And I haven't even gotten to the boys yet. Which honestly doesn't require much explanation anyways cuz they suffer the same fate as the girls. Tired archetypes with nothing to give them life. Nino falls into Adrien’s person of colour token best friend who dates the female lead’s person of colour token best friend so they can have cute double dates uwu. Except the plot goes nowhere and we have no inclination of romantic development beyond moments that only act to actively convince me to anti ship the lovesquare (i don't want to do that so i self indulge in fanon that actually cares about the characters and plot. may i interest you in True Sight on AO3?). Max is the residential nerd but it doesn't matter (cuz he and everyone are dumbed down for the sake of ‘plot’), kim is the sports jock (which interestingly subverts the asian comedic relief stereotype but only barely) and luka is cute older guy ™ that wears black nail polish and is in a band. The point of all this is to say there is no depth in the characters. It's especially blatantly obvious with the characters astruc doesn't like (chloe). Again, it being a show for kids is not an excuse to be absolved of putting effort into the characters you make.

This is one of the biggest misses astruc has. I haven't even gone into all the nuances of this particular miss. And i havent gone into how that works against him in the plot either. Mostly because the plot itself hasn't gone anywhere and partially because I wanted to go into the plot (or lack thereof) separately as its own miss. 

AND BOI is it a miss. 

SO home boy astruc wanted to reap the benefits of a serial show with ‘engaging’ plot without putting in any of the work to make a linear storyline and relying on the episodic format for, again, marketability. You can't have the best of both worlds, you are not Avatar: The Last Airbender. Which btw has a lot less episodes and a desired end goal that didn't involve top dollar. Legend of Korra did but that's not the point and it had its failings with that too. I challenge you, tell me how many episodes actually contribute towards a plot point or introduce new thematic elements to the show? Can you name them? I can and I'm going to include the plot points that moved the story in some direction if only temporarily. Yes only temporarily for some of these and i will explain later. (if you're in the server you already saw this list *wink*)

25/26. Origins- self explanatory, the beginning of the story, 

24. Volpina- introduction of the grimoire and Master Fu (kind of) and no, Lila is not a plot point,

28. The Collector- proper introduction of Master Fu,

37. Sapotis- introduction of Rena Rouge,

41. Syren- introduction of new aquatic power ups,

44. Anansi- introduction of Carapace,

47. Frozer- introduction of new ice power ups,

48/49. Style Queen- introduction of Queen Bee,

51/52. Heroes’ Day- introduction of Mayura and mass akumatization,

66. Startrain- introduction of Pegasus,

67. Kwami Buster- Marinette wears multiple miraculouses,

68. Feast- backstory as to how the miraculouses were lost,

69. Ikari Gozen- introduction of Ryuko,

70. Timetagger- introduction of Bunnyx,

71. Party Crasher- introduction of Roi Singe and Viperion,

73. Chat Blanc- alternate timeline that essentially means nothing but got a reaction out of fans anyways (myself included)

 77/78. Love Eater/Battle of Miraculous- Marinette becomes guardian and other heroes lose their miraculous,

New York Special- other heroes exist and there is an American miraculous box,

That's 21 episodes. 21 out of a heaping 78 plus 2 specials. Everything else was just your typical akuma of the day episode and everything that happened outside that had no lasting consequences on the plot thanks to the miraculous status quo. Was it entertaining to watch Lila stir the plot of the class dynamic? Hell yeah. Too bad it meant nothing by the end of the episode cuz we were struck with miraculous status quo. She literally doesn't appear again until Heroes Day. that is from episodes 25 all the way to 51, she means nothing and yet she is treated with the severity of a b-villain/rival thing. She means nothing by the end of Volpina if I'm being honest. She is only relevant for 20 mins of episode time she’s in then it's back to magic status quo that undoes any shift in dynamics and relationships. It's like Spongebob who can't get his driver’s license. The worst part is I actually like Lila and I wish the story treated her with the seriousness we as an audience are expected to treat her with. Despite being painfully inconsequential by the end of each of the 3?? 4?? episodes she’s in, it's entertaining to watch a character create drama just because. 

Too bad it means nothing.

Astruc is constantly building up suspense to something ‘important’ only for it to not deliver and fans are constantly having the rug pulled out from under us. Oblivio teased us with a reveal only that gets undone cuz memory akuma. Chat Blanc teased us with romantic development but that gets undone cuz time travel bullshit. Feast introduced more miraculous lore and the history of the guardians but that means nothing by the next episode or ever (i'm not including any reference to the season 4 trailer cuz i've been around the block a few times and im familiar with this lil dancy dance). Heroes Day teased us with a possible future team of heroes but that gets undone in Battle of Miraculous cuz ????? why?? (here's why; astruc was having a jolly ole time letting us know how irredeemable Chloe is at the expense of shooting his own stagnant plot in the foot. Again, discussion for later.)

Too bad anything that slightly swerves off course from the akuma of the day gets undone or ignored. Too bad nothing has any lasting consequence. I mean, if anything did, the episodes would have had a consistent order and release schedule so im not scrambling to watch the leaked ep in Portuguese or something while the french dub is two episodes behind while the english version hasnt even been dubbed. I really wonder how he plans to conclude the show when he’s so afraid to step out of the corner he painted himself in.

Again, not going into nuances. If you want you can ask for more specifics (i doubt anyone would) but this is really just a slightly detailed general overview of my opinions on astruc’s writing. 

I was going to include another miss in his approach to this show but imma save that for another time. 

How’s that for a ‘first’ post?

[izzyspussy]

Eddie feels like he's in the process of exploding. It's a familiar feeling, actually; like Eddie is vinegar and Richie is baking soda.

gold rush progress report: 1k