#rewatching s1. and after that I’m probably going to rewatch it again.

[divorceblogger]

very invested in how lumon is explicitly described as a company that has a foothold in the medical field, initially established as a manufacturer of medicines right around the time the concept of the modern pharmaceutical industry started taking shape in the 19th century, and its products/services are floated as the sale of medical equipment and health & wellness to its customers. they facilitated the development of the surgical procedure for severance and use psychological tactics to keep their workers in line. after helly r attempts suicide, her orientation into her new situation on the severed floor is framed as a patient’s admission into a psychiatric facility - objects that can be used to inflict bodily harm on herself are locked away, which offers continued commentary on her consistent lack of access to self determination and bodily autonomy. mark s commits to the procedure anticipating that it’ll allow him to better deal with his grief.

this goes hand in hand with their forays into research - the services that macrodata refinement render are directly in service of keir’s vision of automating the human condition (re: keir’s theory that unique ratios of the tempers - dread, malice, frolic, woe - make up different people). the concepts of natural selection preceded, and eugenics was developed, within keir’s lifetime during the 19th century. also thinking about how emotional regulation goes hand in hand with shaping the perfect worker - health and wellness are once again emphasised when it attempts to corral its wayward workers; but these concepts are relative, and constructed in the corporate’s interest. they’ve also constructed company towns for their workers where, for all intents and purposes, they hold a significant amount of power over the bodies housed at their expense. where do you draw a line on the work-life balance issue when the corporate world has entered your home and your body?

[whosthere54]

Ok ok ok Royal au Royal au ararararah

now to yap about my Royal au cause I’m normal. (Longer post- I just infodump about my AU basically-)

So what I have in drafts is all mainly brothers or prison duo centric, as if you know my fics I usually write from Icarus’s perspective on things. The main ships I would be focusing on are ghaae, nightingstar, Wolftross, and then prison duo- but I have cameos of all of the cannon ships of course. I’m gonna kind of just go through and explain roles of my main guys tho- so hope you like this as a sort of starting summary? I guess?

Icarus is the crown prince of the gilded kingdom. Basically the other full representative of the overworld who’s not Fable. Basically, they are heir to the throne, have to maintain a public image, help Fable out with royal duties and pretty much prepare to be the next monarch to ensure a smooth transition if “mortal king Fable” passes away. (He can’t die- I’ll get to that maybe- but yknow. God.)

I’ll talk about Isla and things later in this post, so I won’t mention it now- but yeah. Icarus is the only heir to the gilded kingdom.

Centross is Icarus’s bodyguard (yes I’m going down that road for the prison duo content. I’m so unpredictable /silly/sarc/lh) Royal guard? Close enough probably. Which- idk if I have to get into what he does. I think you can assume. Protection stuff. He was a former assassin, having used to work with Enderian. I’m doing a cliche maybe- but- yknow- he was sent to kill Icarus, ended up unable to do so… so now he’s a bodyguard for them instead of going back to Enderian. (There’s probably a promise of mutual protection somewhere- I’m sure Icarus would not have let Fable give them a bodyguard before then, and when he did they’d make it everyone’s problem- instead wanting to prove they could protect themself. There’s something there. Yeah.)

Wolftross is yes a thing, I think they were probably together for a while- maybe not long after he first became a royal guard. At Icarus’s request, he can visit Fenris whenever he wants probably. Easton replaces him when he’s gone (even after he became blind- at Icarus’s request he will continue that role. They trust him- and he’s capable.)

In the one thing I wrote, I gave him end features as well. I’m moreso debating on that- but I think it’d be a cool thing as a byproduct of being one of Enderian’s closest advisors and trusted assasin. Or- I give them to him later when he gets to be god. He gets them at some point- for me.

Rae is the crown prince of the end kingdom- full representative of the end that is not Enderian. I’d think she gives him more freedom than Icarus gets from fable, her being the end mother she is. She did have the same I guess cruel past that she does in cannon- I’m trying to figure out how I’m translating s1 into this AU still, and maybe you’ll get a oneshot of that eventually. Atleast the prison arc- of course. He left the gilded kingdom (either with Isla, or later on his own I have drafts for. But- probably with Isla) and lived with Isla for a bit- she runs for help from soul and things like in cannon and she helps hide them for a bit. Though- Isla ends up having Rae stay with Enderian. She probably stays as long as she can without compermising Rae’s safety, but maybe gets caught by Fable eventually.

Fenris is Rae’s bodyguard. He is a former general for the Nether’s army, just like in cannon. (I have to rewatch some of his lore before confidently talking about how he gets to become Rae’s bodyguard, so I’m sorry I won’t have too much info at the moment <3)

He becomes Rae’s bodyguard later- Enderian probably heard of his reputation as “the wolf” and hired him. (May try to include the wolf arc- but am again, trying to figure out how to integrate it.)

Now- basic plot summary? Something of the sort? Yeah. Some random details too cause I have no one train of thought ever and am just writing whatever I think of down. /lh

So for some backstory- Islas story is basically the same as in lore. But it changes for that bit after Rae was born just to adhere to the different circumstances Royal AU brings to the table. So, Rae grows a bit before Isla takes him and runs in this AU- he’s older, couldn’t tell you how old (age is a lie/silly/j) but just. A child. She notices how he’s being treated by Fable, takes him and leaves. She doesn’t take Icarus. There’s a lot of consideration for that fact- of course there is. Their her child. But- they’re not close, Fable makes sure of that. They spend most of their time with him, and their his heir after all. Their disappearance would be the worst to explain. So she doesn’t take them with her.

She takes Rae, and over the course of a few years- stays in a sort of safe house like in cannon, learns the things she does there, goes to soul for help, all that stuff. But she ends up taking Rae to Enderian, he becomes crown prince. She stays with them until it compromises Rae’s safety. Fable finds her, she doesn’t give away that she’d stayed with Enderian and that stays secret for a long time. Fable finds her, messes with her memories and things (he’s messed with Icarus’s too at this point- probably erasing Rae entirely) end she goes into a coma. He locks her away, Icarus doesn’t even know she’s here- and ends up having no memories of her anyways. Only fable knows where she’s locked away. Some tower in the castle sleeping beauty style probably.

Rae grows up in the end kingdom, Icarus grows up in the overworld.

Rae meets Caspian in the end prison- advocating for his freedom and things. He gets him a place in the end kingdom, and they get together at a peaceful festival in the overworld. That is an annual festival- Rae meets aax and takes her there too. He and Cas talk- and probably end up asking Aax out there too- making a whole day out of it probably. It’s a tradition for them, after all.

Aax lives with Cas, and Rae stays with them on weekends? Mayhaps? Something like that. He’s allowed to visit them whenever.

I like to think maybe Cas helps Athena and Bruin run the bakery on occasion. Bed and breakfast. Idk. Rae is definelty still the taste tester on Aax safe foods. And also a waiter on opening day for multiple reasons- one, it’s funny- two, yknow. Royal press. Media(?) purposes. Yknow what I mean hopefully.

Also- end kingdom I think had parts in the overworld and end? Like- overworld has the stronghold portal as the center and then made a kingdom around that, and then there’s an end part of the kingdom. This was probably a result of a peace treaty Isla had led years before between the realms after the war. Because badass mother deserves it. But to explain that- yeah. I think the Nether doesn’t- but has a trading hub spreading through portals and things. Yknow. Just not kingdom- I think the overworld is still more cold to people from the nether so. No kingdom. But portals can be made anywhere instead of having just one like the end, so that makes sense.

Gilded kingdom is just the biggest kingdom in the overworld areas we know- as Fable is the god of creation. I just have cool ideas for kingdom designs. May build them in Minecraft actually who knows- (if I do I will in fact post the pictures)

The Aether kingdom was a thing for souls and stuff as it was in cannon, but fell the same way. Alerion and Will live peacefully in one of the overworld kingdoms living normal lives away from everything, as they deserve.

A lot of the fable characters probably lives in the overworld, and just travel between realms.

Athena’s house probably has an area like his lab, where half is in the overworld and half is in the nether. If not, maybe their bed and breakfast- or atleast she has some nether bakery locations maybe with nether specific treats! Cause I think they deserve it and I just think it’d be cool.

Will has a cartographers shop in his village- like a cartographer villager type thing.

Rae has his archives he runs in his kingdom, there are two- one in the overworld part and one in the nether.

Starbarks definelty exists, does Fenris cannonly in this AU run all of the businesses he runs in actual cannon? Probably not. Do they exist? Probably.

Ven works as a close advisor for Fable, and Ari is hired as a knight or general of a sort for fable. Maybe more like a spy. Cat scratch records exist probably.

The world sisters do exist, most likely- (logistically if this was like a alternate “fable raises Icarus AU” they probably wouldn’t but I can do what I want and I say they’re here cause I love them- /silly)

Addie- Addie idk- maybe they work on like a night shift for the archives? Or like as an intern.

Ulysses- idk where to put Ulysses. Oh you silly fish man you. I will incorporate all the telchin stuff, definetly, I think just think of the cannon lore for that one.

Also- Quixis is there somewhere. Probably not in the same way for plot- but gotta include them in every au somehow /silly

Yeah. Royal AU. I’m eepy so I shut up- but hope you like my rambling ig idk-

I didn’t realize y’all enjoyed this au that much- I appreciate all the excitement about it /gen tehe <3

[oscconfessions]

A confession from someone whose first impression of II was II2 Episode 15 because I went to the meetup as a fan of BFDI only:

I may have come in to the meetup as a fan of BFDI only, but I came out of the meetup resolving to watch II. A lot of it had to do with Taco’s song. I was going feral over the song and was impatiently waiting for the episode to get officially released so I could listen to it again. (Yes, I know it was probably leaked on YouTube, but I wanted to respect the creators’ wishes and didn’t want to reward the leakers.)

Another big part of this was the challenge and the psychological aspect of it (even if I didn’t fully understand what they were talking about when I first watched it since I lacked prior context). So yeah, I love the episode.

Having fully caught up to II now and rewatching the episode having seen all the other episodes, I finally understood all the references to the past. But now I’m confused about the timeline.

Baseball said they saw MePhone last night and the contestants all acted like not much time passed, but we know Season 3 happened while Season 2 was going on. Does time work differently on the Season 2 grounds than on Season 3 grounds? (…oh maybe this is why I keep getting Fan on “Which II character are you?” quizzes)

Also, after the meetup, I kinda assumed that II was like Total Drama World Tour in that they sing a song each episode, so watching the actual show, I spent a long time wondering, “when are they going to start singing?”

Also, watching II, I realized that it was kind of just… everything I’ve been wanting to see from BFDI (well S2 and S3 II, S1 II is a different story…). I’m sorry, BFDI, you will always be my first love, but I think I might just like II a bit more.

.

[dandelionjack]

THE LEGEND OF RUBY SUNDAY ANTI-REVIEW, AKA: I WANT TO SCREAM. CAN I SCREAM. CAN I SCREAM REAL LOUD

well that was … depressing. might go and rewatch something from s1 or s4 or s5 or s8 or s10 to remember what good doctor who feels like. or listen to some big finish.

really thought that the VHS tape would be the truman show reveal. oh well. we all thought something. silly me, expecting complex postmodernist media critique from a disneyfied children’s show. this is my cue to go back to watching things intended for adults, i guess.

i’ll delve into why sutekh is a shitty villain to revive for the new era in my next post — this one’s just for moping.

when you’re autistic, realising that your special interest media will probably never be good again is like growing apart from a childhood friend. it’s a slow, nagging sense of grief and loss, however absurd that may sound. this show saved my life in november after i’d just dropped out of uni. that’s what i’ll remember it as. not… this marvel-ised lacklustre forgettable slop.

and please, don’t you dare put false words in my mouth. you all know how big of a doctor who fan i am. despite what the bigots, racists and homophobes say, it’s not the doctor being Black or openly queer or a woman that killed earnest enjoyment of the show. the openly progressive politics are actually one of the few remaining positives about it. no — what killed it is what killed every long lasting franchise: the inevitable enshittification of all mainstream tv, brought about by unregulated capitalism, a complete disregard for artistic expression in anything but independent/diy media. anything that’s funded by corpos such as disney inevitably turns into figurative capeshit (even if it’s not literally about superheroes, you know the semantic field i’m discussing when i bring up that word). not even a formerly brilliant screenwriter like russell t davies can avoid falling into the trap of becoming complacent. “family-friendly” suddenly means “safe, dull, predictable”. as if children’s minds can’t be challenged or unsettled. as if weird and outlandish art isn’t what children remember for their entire lives, forgetting the other, trite, generic TV they were shown.

casual audiences remember Blink long after watching it as kids because it was wild and experimental on a shoestring budget. it was like nothing else on TV. same with The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances. the main issue with “series 1” (14) that i’m trying to express here is that, save two or three exceptions (73 Yards + to a lesser extent Boom and D&B), it is exactly like everything else on TV.

the only way out is to write our own worlds. fund them ourselves. cardboard, clingfilm and bubblewrap. that’s how doctor who used to be when it was funded by the BBC. that’s how it survived. whatever it’s trying to be now — well, that’s none of my business.

because business is all it’s become.

[sophia-helix]

Since last fall I’ve been doing a very low-key X-Files comfort rewatch; I started with the pilot and then went “every time in the last 20 years I say I’m doing a rewatch of the series I get bogged down in S1 or 2” so I just started skipping through to my favorites and then slowed down in S3. I watched all the good ones in the middle, and then after “Pusher” realized I probably have not actually seen the legendarily bad twofer of “Hell Money” and “Teso Dos Bichos” since I first mainlined S1-4 on FX in 1998, the summer the show went into syndication.

So I watched them! They are objectively terrible! But it had been so long, it was almost like getting a new classic era X-Files episode to watch, plus there were a couple of flirtatious MSR moments that followed on from the hand grab at the end of “Pusher.” My first season was S5 so it was like new fandom juice to suddenly be teasing out the UST back in the early seasons, which is just what I need since I’ve been been fandoms so long now. (Highly recommend returning to whatever fandom you were fired up about as a teen/young adult if you’re also in this place.)

I just finished S3 and started 4, and though I know the show is about to hit its stride in terms of production values, MSR, and the MOTW episodes improving…it’s also pretty clearly when they started losing control of the mytharc. In the early seasons I was struck by how often a standalone episode would still have a conspiracy tie-in, with a CSM or informant appearance, which you basically never see later on. I think this is the point when they fully realized that the show would be going for the indefinite long haul, so they were going to have to keep playing sleight of hand, which did admittedly work better in the days before DVR or boxsets when they didn’t expect audiences to see an episode multiple times.

But like…it doesn’t even get mentioned when the bounty hunter shows up in “Talitha Cumi” that Scully already got kidnapped by him last season, and both watched him shapeshift from Mulder to himself but also supposedly drown in a river? And then there’s a bad continuity error where Mulder is shown picking up the plam after he stabs him, but then the damn thing is still sticking out of his neck the rest of the episode. And finally when Mulder is relating his experiences in “Herrenvolk” to Scully, you really see how they’re going to play it—he mumbles some stuff about green fields and seeing his sister to Scully, rather than saying “I definitely saw a bunch of clones of my sister as a little girl, which makes sense given all the other clone stuff we’ve seen so far.”

And I get it. Different era, no real precedent for telling a story like this over multiple open-ended seasons, and they also liked doing the Twin Peaks mystery stuff (having now watched that it is kind of painful how hard the early XF seasons crib the TP aesthetic). This all just reminds me of how despite getting pulled in by the conspiracy stuff at the start (watching the movie 3 times in the theater was an Event) I eventually gave up on it ever making sense and just enjoyed the lighter shippy vibe they steered into with S6/7. It was such a fun show to watch at the time, but also the fandom just got so frustrated with all the inconsistencies and cop outs, and it’s kind of wild to watch and basically see the exact moment they decided to give up on ever making it make realistic sense, and just go with Vibes from then on.

(The vibes are great! I’m looking very much forward to rewatching S4-6 for the first time since the mid 2000s! The actors never looked better and the writing was so good. Again, highly recommend returning to something you really loved that’s been on the shelf for a while right now.)

[incorrectsibunaquotes]

Ok, so I’m on a rewatch and one random pet peeve I have is the British characters saying “fries” instead of “chips” lmao.

Like I know it’s probably written for an American audience but with a mostly British cast you’d think someone would tell the writers. “Fries/chips” is one of the most well known vernacular differences between the US/UK and it just takes me out of it.

Dudeeee this drives me CRAZY!! It's like after the first few episodes of S1 they decided they'd done enough to establish that "Things Are Weird in England According to Nina" and then never emphasized any differences ever again, even going so far as to Americanize tf out of the school and the slang to the point it's actually offensive to the American youth's intelligence.

Like, WHY did they talk about money in $$$ instead of £££ ?!?!?!?! Why did they talk about college instead of university?? They talked about their grades the way Americans do ("I got an A!" instead of "I got full marks!") !!!!

There's SO many more examples, we could be here all day, but this has ALWAYS made me mad. Did they really think the American public were so brain-dead we wouldn't understand what they were talking about??

[initiumseries]

Hi,

I searched your blog but didn’t see anything, not sure if I’m using the wrong keywords.

I’m watching Angel for the first time and I’m wondering what your takes were on Spike being a champion and the whole Nina/Angel relationship.

Thanks for looking! I haven't talked too much about s5 because usually on a rewatch I'm sick of the show by season 3, but I've contemplated skipping s4 entirely or just watching episodes and then jumping to s5 to refresh me. But anyway, I never really had strong opinions about Nina and Angel. I think at most, I was glad we were finally no longer acting like sex was off the table for Angel, because it never was. Sex with Buffy is off the table and that's because, well, true love. So with Nina came the acknowledgment that there was not the same kind of feelings there and that was fine. Especially after the whole horrible Cordelia thing, it was a breath of fresh air at the time. I don't know if I'll still feel that way now, but I did at the time.

As for the Spike thing...well...hmm. Lol. I don't believe Spike earned his position as a Champion. I think that they made Spike a poor man's Angel and I think his character deserved better than that. Angel's soul was thrust upon him, sure, but he rose to the occasion when called. Spike, did not. Spike lamented his circumstances despite doing it to himself. He whined and self pitied and then was used against the side of good to kill potentials for the first because he was so weak willed. I don't think he did a single think in s7 BTVS to deserve being a champion other than sacrificing himself, which, honestly, isn't enough, because again, he didn't do that to save the world, he did that to save Buffy. Spike's motivations for being "good" have always been either, because he still got to kill (when he had the chip), and then eventually because it got him closer to Buffy. In Angel, s1-3, Angel is put through hell because he is still atoning, but Spike...just gets to be a Champion now? Lmao. He doesn't earn it, and it's insulting honestly. But I think shows struggle with characters changing while still maintaining their core personalities, because it requires a longterm goal and plan.

Consider Zuko's redemption arc. It's probably the best redemption arc ever done on television. But it's because from the very beginning, Zuko was not irredeemable. He struggled, but he received love, he was forced into situations that exposed him to the violence of the fire nation, and ended up on the receiving end of that brutality. He was stripped of his royal status and had to interact with every day people, seeing the scars of war. It fundamentally changed him as a person. And even then, when the time comes for him to make a big choice, he makes the wrong one. He chooses his home, his sister, his previous life, and Aang nearly dies for it. But he had idealized the palace, and when he returns, and his uncle refuses to speak to him, he feels shame and regret. He realizes he isn't the same person he was when he left. He finally makes the right choice, and seeks out the Gaang, and they don't accept him easily. When they do, it's because Zuko *acknowledges* how he hurt them and how he plans on doing better. And even after ALL that, he still has to win over Katara.

But Spike? Lmao. Spike gets a chip in his head - which on its own is hilarious and fun - but becomes exhausting after a while. He doesn't spend more time around the scoobies and begin to see value in what the scoobies are fighting for. He doesn't begin to realize all the fear and harm and damage demons do to humans. He doesn't even actually save anybody, he just kills demons because it's the only people he can kill. He creates the buffybot out of his obsession with Buffy, and she rewards him for it. He doesn't go out and save people on his own, he kills demons on his own. He doesn't begin a path to redemption and keep trying to do right. He manipulates Buffy into spending time together "fighting evil" to expose Riley and stands outside her house so long he leaves piles of cigarettes. When he keeps Joyce and Dawn safe, it's to impress Buffy. It's not really about Joyce and Dawn. Sure, he likes them, but if they weren't an extension of Buffy, he wouldn't care about them nearly as much. He has no path to redemption, no reckoning with who he used to be, no guilt even. With a soul he mocks Robin, and wears his dead mother's jacket. Angel was ANGUISHED over what he'd done before. Spike tries to rape Buffy, then gets a soul to punish her. He never truly apologizes or is forced to confront what he did to Buffy. The scoobies aren't even allowed to be mad at him over it, much less make him work for their forgiveness. Buffy just lets it all slide. Then he self immolates and he's a champion? Where's the path to goodness? Where's the redemption? Where's the amends? Angel has an entire episode dedicated to making amends. Spike? Lol.

So all that to say, I don't think him becoming a Champion is any more earned or deserved than I think it made sense for Cordelia to suddenly take Buffy's place cuz she got visions.

[lynxthewolf1]

Wrote this at like 2am yesterday and I’m feeling sappy so screw it I’m gonna be sappy for a second. This probably gonna be a lot of me repeating myself I tried my best to make this coherent but this post is long and it’s almost 2am again

I don’t think it’s fully processed that fables story is over but when it does hit im gonna be sad but until and after then Im so thankful for being able to meet the people I have through Fable Smp. If any friends/moots I’ve met though fable sees this y’all are so cool and I’m so glad I got to met you. If someone told me when I started watching fable I would be as active in the community as I am even tho I’m a lurker who occasionally appears to ramble about my thoughts and feel so at home here I would’ve thought ur lying and honestly teared up at the thought a community like that could exist. Now I can sit here teary eyed knowing I found that place and people I can talk 2 who get the emotional pain that is fable smp. Also they’re all just neat and fun to hang out with and talk to.

I was in a really dark place when I found fable and ended up gravitating a lot to certain characters I related to a lot at the time Caspian and c!Athena mainly. Seeing there stories progress and the characters get through what they have gave me the confidence to deal with my own personal stuff and situation. I remember watching my first stream it was ether S1 Halloween or a bit after that seeing it the whole way through has been such an incredible and emotional experiences of trying not to cry and rooting so hard for these characters to have one nice thing. Through this community I found a the safe space and in a sense that I gave up looking for. Thank you to the cast for giving me and so many others a safe space and comfort series and characters that we can watch to get through the hard times and representing not just minorities but struggles that aren’t shown often and the different ways it effects people.

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to describe the feeling of Rae and Caspian show not telling the fact they’re Demi and going “they’re like me! It’s not just a me thing there’s a name for it??” And feeling so seen. After being called weird and broken for what I found out was because I’m demiromantic aroace was such a moment I remember being so excited because for once I didn’t feel broken. It felt like if a fictional character I relate to is Demi then why should I care what other people think of how I feel about people. Whisper duo was my wake up call to my own situation with my “friends” that I needed at the time and overall this series showed me how much family isnt blood it’s the family you make and I found a home in this community as a lurker who sometimes appears to ramble on Tumblr and go back to the void.I wanted to feel seen and fable did that through its characters.

Thank you to the cast for making a series and community that so many people can enjoy and characters who feel like call outs even tho anytime I relate to a character in any way I take 1d6 physic damage (/j) and a safe space for people who was looking for it or found it by accident and now we’re in the rabbit hole. I don’t plan on leaving this fandom I’m gonna continue to rewatch fable and just cry about it. For prob not the finale time my counsler and friends will be hearing about how much fable Smp has changed my life for the better /pos.

[rocco-ko]

Unpopular opinion, probably, but I don’t think Aziraphale’s “I forgive you” was said just because Angel believed that he was fundamentally right while Crowley wasn’t. He didn’t “forgive” Crowley for messing with his already fucked up moral compass (and minisodes only confirmed it). That was true about “may you be forgiven” scene at the bandstand in s1, but not in the “we can go off together” moment and definitely not in the after-kiss bit. I rewatch those moments again and again but it doesn’t feel like forgiveness.

In the Bible, true forgiveness means forgiving everyone, every time, of everything, as an act of obedience and gratefulness to God. The Bible teaches that unselfish love is the basis for true forgiveness. But if Aziraphale’s “I forgive you” means love, why is it hopeless then? Aziraphale is on the crossroads. He had always been. He is so very lost. That’s why all he says is “My dear, please! Understand me! I love you… but I’m devoted to God” (“I forgive you”)

[lou-iz-stat]

Well I got to episode 5 in my IWTV S1 rewatch…

Truthfully I probably won’t say much about this episode since there is so much of it in season 2 that I think will be revisited. On top of that I am at the end of my semester at school so I probably won’t say much because of that too. Also out of all of the episodes of s1 this the episode that I have seen the least.

But we still have 3 more weeks until season 2 where I have no doubt that s1 will be tame when compared to it. I’m getting more and more nervous each week not going to lie.

Ok… here we go!

IWTV S1 E5: A Vile Hunger for Your Hammering Heart

The episode starts with Daniel reading Claudia’s diary and how she records the last words of the people she kills.

But then Daniel is interrupted by Louis feeding on ‘Rashid’. It is pretty nasty for Louis and Armand to do this in front of Daniel. He even reads his mind to try and throw Daniel off his game. I notice that whenever Daniel tries to talk about something negatively about Claudia, Louis will always try to do something to throw Daniel off that even holds through in the ‘Paris sucks’ clip we have in s2.

It’s funny that Armand tells Daniel he would not let him anywhere near his neck. He must still be mad at Daniel for something maybe Devil’s minion related? 👀

Then we go back to 1923 where Louis thinks that she has gone on a hunger strike because of Charlie but Lestat knows that she is just escaping when they have to go feed. Since they are so similar Lestat knows that Claudia would not skip out on meals.

Also the line “I know what I’d do, but you cut my hands off.” Like!!!!! Fucked up Nikki reference. 😭

Also Lestat reading the diary and the dairy being so graphic ugh… 🤢

Everything is just such a mess… oh boy… with all the bodies coming up

And of course Tom Anderson is trying to distract Loustat since the Police chief is there in the speakeasy.

I feel so much anxiety with all the cops in their home! And Claudia is not helping! 😬

There are still some comical bits such as the “We sell… incinerators.” Louis’s little shrug at Lestat. “To various American cities.” The delivery is actually very funny.

Also what’s funny is Claudia’s acting when the cop opens her door. Her face when she drops the blanket and the closet door opens to show the rotting man.

But all the fun and games stop when the cop is homophobic.

Yes Lestat is a jerk and treats Claudia like shit and still sees Antoinette so Claudia only feels like she has to leave.

Also establishing that Claudia is unable to turn people is a great thing to set up now.

And even though it’s heartbreaking I do love that Claudia gets mad at Louis for not just taking her to a hospital but made Lestat turn her into this monster. Bailey’s acting is just so perfect here.

We go back to Dubai and Daniel is telling Louis some harsh truths about what the public could do with Claudia. Yikes

And their home turns into a ruin after they wake up from their long nap

Man…Fuck Bruce

The part where Louis makes Daniel’s Parkinson’s go out of control as always annoyed me even if Daniel was stepping out of bounce it just never sat right to me. And of course Armand is there to ‘calm Louis down’

We go back once again and we see the scene of Louis saying his final goodbye to Grace and his makes Claudia come home after everything.

Lestat is such a bitch when she comes home. I understand what he is trying to do but it’s just all wrong.

And the fight happens. We will revisit what happened during the fight in the coffin room that we don’t get to see. But as an indication by some parts of the trailer we have already seen a glimpse of it. Hopefully the writers handle it well…

Also the during the drop scene it sounds a lot like what Armand said to Lestat before pushing him off a tower in TVL so I guess we’ll see what comes of it.

Okay good got through that one. Now I can get back to some class work lol.

I cannot believe that we are now 3 weeks away from seeing the premier for season 2 and for some of you, you will be seeing it in about a week and a half. Good luck to the NYC people that get to see it early.

[hawkai2406]

Guess who finally could watch Psycho Pass Providence

Yes it’s about me 🤣

I’ve been already 9 years into the fandom and considering how many other fandoms I’m in, Psycho Pass always remains as one of my top of the tops -alongside Shingeki no Kyojin-.

What’s more important is that when I rewatched lately some series I enjoyed during my late teens/early twenties, I found them just „different” from my first or second views a few years ago. And Psycho Pass, especially season 1, is one of the few constant titles that I’m regularly going back to. Of course I changed my views on some plot points and/or characters through the years, but they still make sense to me, some of them even more than before (*cough*for example Mika Shimotsuki*cough*)

(For the context: I mean that I rewatch it literally every year, seriously, it’s like it’s became part of my genetics that whenever it’s October/November - the months I’ve seen s1 for the first time - I get that feeling that I need to rewatch the series AGAIN 😂 I often omitted S2 from watching again but hey, this year I saw it for the second time so I guess that counts as a success 🤣)

But back to Providence - I think that I need a proper rewatch before my -final- opinion, even though I spoiled myself with most events when the movie came out in May.

Now all I can say is that I find some things differently than the fandom right after the premiere and that for me it feels like it’s a transition chapter between, let’s say, Psycho-Pass Part 1 (from S1 to Sinners of the System series) and Psycho-Pass Part 2 (S3 and First Inspector) - probably just how it should be viewed if it has both old and the new cast, lol 🤣 but the „transition” part really hit me after credits rolled on my TV screen.

Okay, rambling’s off, I just needed to get it out of my system 😂

Also excuse my english, I’m out of practice and also I’m sick so my brain isn’t working like it should atm

[stripedtabbycat]

since I’m rewatching gravity falls rn I thought I’d make a post about my thoughts so far. (I wanted to start on August 31 which is dipper and mabel’s birthday but I ended up starting on September 1 instead. watching 1 episode a night and challenging myself to do the credits code each time)

under a cut because this will probably get long:

first of all this show is so funny. not all the jokes hold up but I really enjoy its sense of humor in general

i remember liking the second season better than the first and not just because it’s more overarching plot-driven, I just think the plot is a little more focused and the characters and their relationships are more solidified

I love seeing the development of Stan bonding with the kids over time. I noticed in “carpet diem” (the season 1 body swap episode) he’s commending dipper (who is really Mabel trying to turn him against dipper) for finally standing up to him and the next episode is the best we see them get along all season. it’s nice but still done in a funny/weird way that fits the show’s tone

dipper and mabel are siblings of all time. I love how clearly the show establishes how well they get along and work together and how often they’re goofin around and having fun at the beginning of episodes and how realistic their teasing and bantering and bickering feels…if you hate on mabel you’re wrong btw

i appreciate that the show doesn’t need to bluntly state the lesson we’re supposed to learn at the end of each episode but still has clear themes for each one. i also like when they kind of have a subverted/parodied version of a typical cartoon moral like in the truth teeth segment of “bottomless pit” when the expected lesson of “sometimes a small lie is okay” turns into “sometimes you have to let your uncle lie to the cops so he doesn’t get arrested for regularly committing tax fraud”

that said sometimes i’m a little :/ at the conclusions of certain episodes. I try not to harp on this bc I think part of what drives the more intense discourse about kids’ cartoons is the idea that they have to be teaching good messages to their target audiences, or at least not teach them harmful ones. I don’t think all kids’ shows should be Wholesome and Morally Edifying but sometimes you’re like. oh this is imparting a particular viewpoint I don’t love

anyway I’m just thinking about how “fight fighters” seems like it’s going to be about how physically fighting over petty relationship jealousy is dumb and immature but instead it kinda comes off like dipper has to learn “you have to fight your own battles” which…idk. I could be misinterpreting

then again I just watched “the love god” which tries to raise the interesting dilemma of “is it right/okay to meddle in others’ relationships [using magic or not] if they genuinely end up happier?” but given all the baggage around using love potions in fiction you can tell they had to walk that back a little in journal 3. I don’t think the element of “it actually wears off after a few hours” would have undermined the question too much but whatevs.

(i will say that stan in dreamscaperers saying he's hard on dipper to toughen him up kind of gets questioned later when we see the stans' backstory and it's clear their dad was not actually that great of a guy. room for interpretation there too i guess)

another reason I like season 2 better is because the show is finally done with the dipper/wendy crush plot that really dragged down parts of s1 imo. mostly because it felt like dipper had to learn that a relationship between them wasn’t happening a number of times before the show definitively said it and it lead to some of those dubious episode conclusions.

(whenever people claim that mabel was selfish and dipper always had to sacrifice things for her sake I just think…most of the time what he was “sacrificing” was a chance to impress wendy or spend more time with her, and I feel like this is more a problem with that aspect of the show than anything else)

(ALSO when people say there are too many "mabel's crush of the week" subplots - i never really got that impression? when she's going over her failed summer romances i realized there were only like, 4 episodes up to then where there was a plot about her liking a guy and it didn't feel overdone to me. however that's also why i was disappointed with her part of "northwest manor mystery" because i thought we were done with that. i guess they figured she and pacifica had already had their bonding episode in "the golf war" but i still wish she got to be involved with the main plot in that episode, even if i mostly liked it. kind of felt like the writers couldn't think of anything else for her to do)

anyway back to positive thoughts! I really appreciate the show’s creativity with the supernatural elements especially when they need a way to do a standard fantasy cartoon trope. need to shrink the characters down to miniature size? crystals that change the size of things that get caught in the light they refract! need to do a body swap? how about a carpet that swaps your electrons when you static shock someone? time travel? the time machine is in the form of a tape measure. they can get pretty outside of the box and it’s always cool

i also like the balance of humor and (kid-friendly) horror it engages in. there are a number of moments throughout the show that seem like a sudden intrusion of sheer horror but because of their suddenness and (relative) over-the-top nature they’re also really funny. I’m thinking of dipper opening the convenience store freezer and seeing a horrifying brain monster, the summerween trickster eating a kid, bill cipher summoning “a head that’s always screaming” and its skin peeling off (or like. anything he does in that episode), a lot of moments from the shorts like the island head in “the tooth” or the ending of “lefty”…

this show is i think a lot of people's first experience with a cartoon that has overarching continuity and encourages the viewers to analyze it for clues to the greater plot and i love how it does that. also love how it still works as a show even if you're not actively looking for clues to the mystery. they knew full well how much the fandom was engaging with it and both the show and supplementary material are just chock-full of details that really reward repeat viewings in a way that very few other children's shows do.

i did a pretty good job keeping track of the end credits codes in season 1 but by season 2 i had to just look up on the wiki what the vigènere key words were because i don't have the time to scour the whole episode for those sorry. especially when they get more and more hidden throughout the season. i'm still proud of myself for figuring out how to decode those messages using the grid of all the letters though

i think i first caught up with this show right when "not what he seems" was airing and now that's next up on the schedule. it's a very different experience watching the episodes all in a row and not having to wait at least two weeks between each one lol. on the plus side it gave the fans plenty of time to pick over every episode and theorize like hell

final thoughts: i love that a disney channel kids' cartoon devoted an entire extra-long episode to the surprisingly realistic and sad backstory of the main kid characters' great-uncles, one of whom had mostly been a comedic side character for the first season, and it's fantastic. once i'm done with this i cannot wait to get my hands on the book of bill

[divinekangaroo]

furthering the tommy-sexuality dialogue with @deadendtracks and this post and this post:

“Did you see Grace and Tommy's first sex scene in s1 and their reunion sex scene in s2 as overly performative?” / “When I was thinking about this I kept coming back to the first two sex scenes we have with Grace, though -- where imo we do see him leaning into surrender, intimately and sexually. I don't know if it's a total loss of control, but he's certainly not avoiding it in my view. I think the whole reason he fell for Grace is that he *did* feel that surrender of intimacy with her, that vulnerability. And it's in distinct contrast to every other sex scene we get from him after that.”

That’s a good point – I’ll need to rewatch to double check, they were filmed differently to other sex scenes, too, even May's softer sex scene. (the camera was so focused on May it was clear it was about her...) (And there’s something in my head telling me there’s some very distorted/unpleasant film-technique callbacks to the S1 scene in what happens with Diana that I should probably chase to see if they really existed too.)

With the little that I do remember, S1 I had a sense he was performing as if for himself (unable to remember intimacy) until instinct took over and the performative sense disappeared. Given he lost Greta just prior to the war (his sole intimate relationship if we assume his brothers’ joking means he wasn’t really one with lots of girls) then had a one-off with Zelda then (judging by Duke’s age) immediately went off to war, he probably didn’t have a lot of experience being intimately connected with women? Lots of prostitutes and fleeting actions through and post war and not much else. So that first scene feels like he’s kind of unpacking/realising/*feeling* again through the action.

S2, my memory of the conversation and the leadup leaves me with a sense of something far more performative than S1 – but again, more for himself than for Grace. Almost a sense of proving something to himself (or Campbell, who knows). There’s too much bite in the leadup, that the sex itself felt like a necessary ‘tick box’ in some list he had going from the moment she returned. I think, there was no intimation Grace would stay with him, no baby, no ongoing intimacy to expect and to allow himself to fully let loose in the understanding his vulnerability would be compensated by an ongoing relationship, I’m just left with that sense that S2 sex was…proving something. It had much more of an edge than S1, S1 I’m left with much softer and intimate impressions.

---

“What do you make of that first sex scene with Lizzie in 2.01? I have thoughts of my own but I'm curious about how it fits into your understanding of Tommy & sex, beyond the need to avoid intimacy and the physical release. Because it's quite a strange scene if you look at the way he seems to be completely dissociated, he doesn't seem to even really be there.”

I have had multiple goes at unpacking this for myself over time especially given he then has the typewriter scene with Lizzie, and none satisfy me XD so take even this with a great dusting of salt. Any insight I would be very interested in reading!

Important for me: the joint context of Polly having just reminded Tommy to get over Grace, and him having to walk out immediately after the sex with Lizzie to assassinate that man.

That first S2 assassination seemed such a major moral trauma point for him: I think it’s often overlooked because…it’s just killing some rando dude right? But what it actually meant for him was huge when you look at his rage/terror around the entrapment. In S1, he’s partially brought all that shit on himself by holding the guns, and he acknowledges that and moves through it, but this S2 assassination – it’s repeated, his whole Chosen One loop, why me? He asks more than once, Why me – he really, really hurts, he is really really angry. The ability to get away from being used to kill, but then being locked back into it against his will.

So there’s this joint ‘get over Grace, Tommy, right now’ (because you will never have grace, either the person or the concept) = just fuck some other woman where it doesn’t mean anything, and ‘I’m being used [like a prostitute, for other people’s wants] and can’t get out of it because of who I am’ = he…calls in a prostitute and uses her, because….???? He’s projecting??? He’s angry? He doesn’t know how else to try to move through that or rationalise that being used?

I have such a sense he’s almost *forcing* himself to do it. Again, like proving something to himself. From Lizzie’s words (and how warm the two of them are in the typewriter scene) I have to assume they’ve had a relatively amicable paid sexual relationship, and Tommy’s definitely acting different in that particular scene. So if it’s a sharply different encounter to the usual and given the context: it’s almost as if he’s forcing himself to do it to remind himself that this is what we/I do, just fuck, there’s money, get it done.

Almost an image of himself in that bent-over position taking it and taking the money and taking what it gives him, but having to *take it* first. Kill the man, take the trade, move on. Be fucked, take the cash, move on. It’s not really about pleasure or release before a risky venture that might kill him. It’s not even about Lizzie at all, or a comment on his prior (or upcoming) connection with Lizzie. A reminder to himself about being used, the way certain disadvantaged people are always used no matter what they actually want, the way he feels about being used that way. And a very strong reminder at the end when Lizzie outreaches for connection that you take the money and treat the exchange as a transaction.

While Lizzie has her personal reasons/infatuation/desire for connection for that scene to be sad, at that point in time I don’t even think he’s thinking about her at front of mind at all. He has no room for her reactions/feelings at the front of his mind, which is totally full of his own anger/hurt/disassociation from the upcoming unpleasant task at that point. I do think his back of mind churns over her hurt/sadness, though, or he wouldn’t act the way he does to her in the typewriter scene. Did he feel regret, belatedly? Epsom as well, he gets regretful about using Lizzie, but only belatedly?

He seems to oscillate between using Lizzie like a tool/thing in S2, and perhaps the fact she was a prostitute means she’s coded in his head initially as that ‘sexual tool’, who can be used that way without concern. Then, these sorts of mental or emotional kicks he experiences that she is not, she is a person, and his attempts to reconnect and make up for it after.

Given Lizzie is the only one of Tommy’s lovers who is, by class and status, ‘less than’ Tommy, I think that ‘sexual tool’ coding and hierarchical coding is very strong in him. His focus on the symbols and manners of status and rank (and eventually money as his only agency when even his acquired rank doesn't deliver what he thought it would) suggest this quite entrenched hierarchical thinking as well. Something in his head which says those of lesser rank/status are used by those above, similar to how he is used.

So he uses Lizzie, not cruelly or unfairly in that desk scene given she is a prostitute then: she’s his only lover that he doesn’t have to perform with. He can have terrible sex, he doesn’t have to think about her pleasure, he doesn’t have to perform or satisfy her or try to influence her.

The typewriter scene, her status by S3, then S4, he consciously tries to lift her up and out of his default, ‘first thoughts’ coding and treatment of her as that sexual tool in fondness and liking/affection and recognition of her. But I also think it suggests much about his approach to sex/sexuality and how it intersects with class that this thinking of her as sexual tool does appear to be his first thoughts, it’s his second thoughts/later thinking that consciously go back on that first take.

Tangentially: I also think a lot of his behaviours with Lizzie are actually about what’s going on in himself, not about his feelings for her. She becomes a kind of substitute/blurry mirror where his actions and behaviours around her are him projecting what’s happening inside him. At the same time SK also writes Lizzie as an actual character with her own motivations for engaging with Tommy, and there’s that imbalance in what Tommy uses her for versus what she wants him for.

The physical and emotional mirroring they increasingly do over time, Lizzie actually mirroring him if not in sync, adds to this thinking. This Lizzie as a Tommy-distorted-mirror warps and shifts over time, but I think S2 in particular she’s almost this “sexual-tool / extension-of-himself” to be that mirror of him being used as a “killing-tool” where he has no choice, and he actively uses her that way in the sex scene and at Epsom.

This is one of those unformed/not properly unpacked niggles that stood out to me on rewatch, because of carrying the preconception of what happened in S5 with Mosley asking for Lizzie as a thing/a Tommy substitute – well, he actually did do that to Lizzie at Epsom, because he couldn’t do it himself. And this is quite different to his use of Grace where the intimacy/recognition is that he can’t do it because he doesn’t know what Grace actually is (except he knows she’s not a working class girl he can use); with Lizzie during the S1/S2, maybe even S3, he can use her this way, he doesn’t have the same hesitation he has with Grace.

---

“some of these might be considered trauma responses but my preference is to think he is/was always going to be this way *somewhat*#because he is this way.the particular traumas he went through were able to be framed in ways that allowed him to continue…for a while Also curious about this -- what do you think are the characteristics he has that were "always going to be this way"

The key ones:

- That he struggles with actually connecting deeply with people, reading sexual cues/flirtation, because he actually connects too deeply – he holds back to avoid embarrassment if he’s misread something. Some of this leads to an inclination to prefer sex that is openly a transaction (prostitutes) because it relieves any dialogue around intimacy or connection. He can treat sex as a physical need without having to think about the other.

- Deep connection is unrelated to sex, and that he’ll always look for deep connection with someone over the sex. If both, ok wonderful, but if the sex makes the connection complicated he’ll ditch the sex and find that elsewhere. (I really think of Alfie in this space.)

- Connection comes before physical/sexual attraction. People are physically neutral to him until he feels something for them first. For example, he couldn’t be seduced by a hot woman into a vulnerability in the way, say, Arthur or John probably could? I think of both Grace and Tatiana here. With Tatiana and no or limited connection, he pretty much flips her attempted seduction on its head and notwithstanding the essentially of them having ‘sex for the cause’, his sexual participation instead forges that double (is it triple by this point?) cross with her instead for their mutual benefit, rather than her sexual seduction exposing vulnerabilities in him for her people to exploit. With Grace, the connection comes well before the sex and it’s connection which exposes him/makes him vulnerable, not the sex.

[adhd-merlin]

merlin S1 rewatch: episode 8

this is a thing I was doing do you remember? do you remember this was a thing I was doing

it’s been like 3 months since I re-watched episode 8 (and 9!) so I’ve just re-re-watched it. Just now.

Would you let something terrible happen if it meant you'd stop something even worse happening in the future?

A fascinating ethical dilemma. Would you pull the lever in the trolley problem? Would you travel back in time and kill baby Hitler?

It isn't just Mordred’s life for Arthur’s, but Mordred’s life against the Golden Age and the freedom for magic people that Arthur is supposed to bring, so I understand why Merlin felt torn. There’s no clear-cut answer, which is what makes this storyline so compelling.

Anyway, let’s start with my main grievance – Mordred’s powers.

Merlin tells Gaius that he heard the Druid boy’s voice inside his head, to which Gaius replies:

Yes, I've heard of this ability. The Druids look for children with such gifts to serve as apprentices.

In this episode, Mordred mind-speech is a special ability that sets him apart from other children. By season 5, any random Druid can use it, to the point that Merlin is surprised when he tries to communicate with Daegal telepathically and the boy cannot hear him. The episode hints to Mordred’s magic being remarkable, even dangerous (like when he magically shatters a mirror in a fit of rage), but by season 5 Mordred barely even uses it.

I am fascinated by Mordred’s backstory and disappointed that the writers forgot their own set-up, or decided to ignore it. 

I only knew Asa Butterfield from Sex Education, so it was weird to see him as young Mordred. He did a good job at looking mysterious and vaguely threatening, though it must be said he spent most of the episode unconscious.

Who was the Druid accompanying Mordred? The Merlin Wiki transcript names him as Mordred’s father, which is not in the credits (where he's only named as “Cerdan”). I didn’t get father-son vibes from their interactions, but maybe it’s just me. My impression was that he was some kind of mentor. Apparently I saw Mordred and decided he was an orphan. Don't ask me why.

We see Arthur trying to challenge his father (in private) multiple times, but he still spends a good chunk of the episode as an antagonist. He searches for Mordred when his father demands it and he’s willing to let him die, even if he’s not pleased about it. It’s only when Morgana begs him that he caves in (30 minutes into a 43-minute episode).

Uther is a fascinating portrayal of an emotionally abusive parent. I wonder what he would have done if Morgana had “come out” to him – because he clearly cared for her, in his own fucked-up way. At least enough not to want her dead. Acceptance would have been out of the question, but I’m not sure he would’ve had her executed. Probably attempted to make her go through some kind of “conversion therapy”. He did keep Gaius as his physician after all, after making him vow never to use magic again (not that Morgana would ever have accepted it).

Now Arthur, I believe, would’ve accepted Morgana if she had told him she had magic. He’s so obviously fond of her, despite all the sibling bickering. 

We get the first mention of the name Emrys – from Mordred, then confirmed by Kilgharrah.

Morgana saying she couldn’t live with herself if anything happened to Gwen or Merlin is such a !!!! statement considering what will happen later in the series

You are a guard of Camelot minding your own business when suddenly someone knocks you out. Just an ordinary Tuesday. You don’t get paid enough for this.

Arthur telling Mordred (as he's freeing him from his cell) “Don't be scared. I've sent word to your people” -> HOW??? literally how. How does Arthur know where the Druids live. how did he get in contact with them. many such questions

Mordred glaring at Merlin when he finally comes to his rescue is so funny. “I had trouble getting out of the castle” he's like bitch you did NOT!

Mordred’s name drop at the end is so epic. Even if you aren’t familiar with Arthurian legends (I wasn't), the music and Kilgharrah’s warning to Merlin make this moment sufficiently ominous and tense (and if you already know who’s going to kill Arthur, you will have guessed the boy’s name already anyway)

Arthur returns Mordred to Iseldir. The next time we see young Mordred is in ep 2x03 (The Nightmare Begins) and then again in episode 2x11 (The Witch’s Quickening) — in neither of them he is with Iseldir anymore, though Iseldir is still alive, given he reappears in S3. WHAT HAPPENED. Mordred’s childhood is a compelling mystery. I like the idea of there being different Druid clans with different beliefs about Emrys and Arthur’s destiny – and possibly Mordred’s, too. Not every Druid recognises Merlin as Emrys or thinks of him as a savior, after all (see Sefa and Kara). Is this why Mordred was (perhaps?) abandoned by Iseldir? Did he find out something about Mordred's role in Arthur's death? It’s an interesting idea. To me.

[midnighttreasureseeking]

Claudia’s Diary entries S1 EP5

Alright, this is my first Interview with the Vampire post that isnt just me reblogging someone else and adding to their post. There will be several of these posts as i have done my best to transcribe all written work shown in season one of the show. When season two starts (and season three etc.) I plan on making another series of posts about the written works shown in the series. 

This post is about the bit from Claudia’s diary seen in episode 5 of season one, just after her traumatic encounter with the vampire Bruce (Killer). A large part of this is from my reblog of @halo4life2017-blog​  as I didnt want to write down all my theories again. I’m very much looking forward to her theories about this as well as she is doing a rewatch!

So directly after the scene with Killer we are shown this page

(The left, its unimportant, reads: ...thing happend when....I had just...really get)

Its on the right hand side, its clean, and reads as such:

“November 11, 1930″

Dear Diary,

I met another vampire. His name is bruce,

but  I thought he was better suited to Killer.

We had just eaten together and started talking

about books when he really began acting strange

and made me uncomfortable. Bruce walked

back from the fire and leaned down over me

and…”

Daniel turns the page

And this reads

“November 11, 1930

Dear Diary,

I met another vampire. His name is bruce,

but  I thought he was better suited to Killer.

We had just eaten together and started talking

about books when he really began acting strange

and made me uncomfortable. Bruce walked

back from the fire and leaned down over me

and…”

The exact same!! this time on the left side page, and spattered with blood! Not only that but the passage cuts off midway through the page with that sentence unfinished and Daniel says nothing. (If this was accidental and just as far as Eric was supposed to read, therefore they didnt bother adding more, they wouldnt have put the empty space in the frame. Its just too weird not to be on purpose) He says nothing about the half cutoff sentence and nothing about the double passage either. He doesnt ask why the blood seems to be applied after the ripping out of the pages. Instead he remarks on the cutout pages and demands to know whats on them. As if she had filled four pages with a detailed account of her assault! And that was for some reason important for him to read. He says “Bruce walked back from the fire and leaned down over me and, cut out pages!” ??? no “cutoff sentence” or “empty space” as if the middle of the page is a perfectly normal place to end a page and continue on the next! He also immediately assumes that Louis ripped out the pages, which Louis neither confirms nor denies. And therefore we assume it too. But as we have discovered, never assume something of Louis, you will probably be wrong.

So what we know is: The passage was first written on the right side page, but left unfinished. Then it is written on a later page and stops at the same place the other did. then either four pages are ripped out or the new right side paragraph is written. Then someone cries over the pages, or at least little drops of blood end up on it.  If the right hand page wasnt written before the blood landed on it, then its written after.

(This is the right side paragraph as far as i could transcribe it

I’m going back to the house (..)

I’m ready for whatever lestat has to say. And I

will leave right away and take Louis with me.

Wouldn’t that be wonderfull? I am (..) excited to

see him again. And I (..) I was a handful

All those years don’t ()

I don’t know if ()

() tho…he (when) (…)

I just know he and I would have so 

much fun together. And anything (..)

depises I want to share with him to ?)

sheltered by Lestat for so long I want to 

open his eyes! We can learn about our kind together and maybe feel something.”

(This is not perfect and will be improved upon))

Three theories as to what happened;

Louis did it: This theory is assumed true by Daniel and the audience because of Louis reaction and the fact that he doesn't deny it. Louis discovered this diary and when he does he rips out four pages chronicling the assault, gets upset, and cries blood-tears all over it. This does not explain the cutoff sentence or the double passage.

Claudia did it: I think this has the most merit and is what i assumed happend the first time i watched this. But it is the most human way of looking at it. So Claudia has just experienced her encounter with Bruce. And as she always does writes it down in her diary. But she cant do it, she doesn't get very far. And just before the SA she has to stop. She takes a deep breath, turns a pages and just starts over, from the beginning. But this time, when she gets to the SA she gets too emotional, lets go of two tears and wipes them, and out of frustration (at herself for not being able to finish writing, blaming herself for what happened or anger at Bruce) she rips out two pages and leaves the book. then later, after making a plan for the future, she opens the book again and continues on the right side, on the blood spattered page. She could also have cried at this second diary writing moment. She might have cried at the memory of what happened or the thought of having to return home. Everything Daniel says “did she do it, doesn’t seem like her” etc, is an assumption about her on his part. It’s based on the emotionless monster he sees her as. Something that support this is that the blood tears are far too small to be from an adult (They actually look like they are from a small child. But i might be looking too far into it)

Louis rewrote the diary: In this theory everything is staged and done on purpose by Louis or Armand and Louis together. Maybe the original diary doesn't tell the right story, the story Louis wants to tell. So he rewrites the entire thing to fit the narrative. He plants the double paragraph, he plants the hastily ripped out pages, he purposefully ends the sentence in both entries at the same place. All this to get a reaction out of Daniel. To frame her as more human (see my “Claudia did it” theory above.) And Daniel doesn't respond the way he is supposed to, he doesn't believe in Louis humanisation of Claudia and this makes Louis angry.

Actually in all theories Louis gets angry because Daniel is being an asshole.

At last i want to talk about the ripped out pages themselves. 

This might be me looking too much into it, take everything with a grain of salt. But let’s analyse the diary without looking at the text. What has happened to it. 

The pages have been yellowed through age, to be expected. 

There are some light stains, and some crinkling of the paper that just suggest use. 

there is the bloodspatters on the paper, mostly on the lower side, who ever was crying was sitting in front of it. 

There are four pages ripped out, maybe with hands, or something sharp, a knife or scissors maybe. 

The pages are curled inwards (and not flattened as much as one would expect) and the right page is very yellow. To me it suggests it was slightly burned or something really hot got really close to it.  The yellow does not come from the light, or the other right-side-page should have the same colors. The Yellow is also too localised to be the light and too big to be the shadow coming from the torn out pages. 

That is what i could find and speculate from these diary entries!! I would love for anyone to tell me your own theories, maybe you have seen something I haven’t. In the mean time I’ll be trying to transcribe all other entries and written works that we have seen in the show!

[cabeswaterdrowned]

for the ship ask game:

elena gilbert and bonnie bennett from tvd

& spencer hastings and aria montgomery from pll!

Elena

My NOTP for them: Delena

• My BROTP for them: Jenna I love their dynamic in the first two seasons, Barolena, Tyler the few times they interact

• My OTP for them: Elena/Rebekah <333

• My second choice pairing for them: probably Elena/Elijah although I ship them way less than Beklena

• My fluffy pairing for them: pre series / s1 Bonlena probably

• My angsty pairing for them: idk… I could see angst hurt/comfort scenario potential for Bonlena or Carolena

• My favorite poly ship for them: I could say Barolena again or alternately even though I’m not emotionally invested in SE (I find them more interesting than DE especially on rewatch but have as many issues w it) Elena/Rebekah/Stefan is interesting especially where I am in my rewatch rn

• My weirdest pairing for them: idk, my otp for her being Beklena is out of the norm for sure so. Maybe kelena which I both do and don’t ship romantically, it’s my favorite Elena dynamic but probably my 5th favorite Elena “ship” if that makes sense so… idk maybe that.

My intrigued-by pairing for them: Carolena insert my response when you asked me how I feel about them, also Elejah although considering all Elijah’s dynamics got less interesting to me as I saw more of them it’s probably good there was little follow up.

Bonnie

My NOTP for them: it’s less about the ship itself and more how the ship is used in the narrative I resent but Bonnie/Jeremy

• My BROTP for them: Barolena, Sheila in s1 + any afterlife cameo or time it was given relevancy after. Also like the only times I even sort of liked Matt were some of their one on one scenes like in The Reckoning..

• My OTP for them: Bamon sometimes to my chagrin but is what it is

• My second choice pairing for them: Bonora

• My fluffy pairing for them: Baroline

• My angsty pairing for them: Bamon and Bonkai

• My favorite poly ship for them: Bamenzo was something serious I have to say

• My weirdest pairing for them: not really weird but I do like Bonnie/Kai which ik is controversial (although I side eye when fans suddenly have morals about that ship and Only that ship in the verse..)

My intrigued-by pairing for them: Kennett and Klonnie

Spencer

My NOTP for them: Wren, Toby anytime after s1

• My BROTP for them: the liars although I also ship her with them all romantically, Jason, Melissa

• My OTP for them: I have multiple but Spemily is my favorite

• My second choice pairing for them:going to say Spona and Sparia tie love them both for different reasons, and they’re also Otp’s I just go harder for Spemily because not enough people care like I do..

• My fluffy pairing for them: pre time jump Spanna

• My angsty pairing for them: Sparia actually specifically s4 and S7 Sparia, also post jump Spanna

• My favorite poly ship for them: Spencer/Emily/Alison is great but I also love Spencer/Mona/Hanna and basically any poly ship between the girls..

• My weirdest pairing for them: idk I like Spencer/Caleb a little more than most people I think? I definitely like it better than any other m/f ship for her although it’s far from a fav

My intrigued-by pairing for them: Caleb/Spencer/Hanna maybe?

Aria

My NOTP for them: Ezria ofc

• My BROTP for them: The Liars,Mike

• My OTP for them: Sparia

• My second choice pairing for them: Arison

• My fluffy pairing for them: Emaria show or book, book Naria

• My angsty pairing for them: Sparia and Arison can both work

• My favorite poly ship for them: hmm my first thought was the book Aria/Courtney/Emily dynamic actually, also Emily/Aria/Noel. Show wise thinking… actually think Aria-Spencer-Mona would be really interesting

• My weirdest pairing for them: I ship Arison Monaria and which are def out of the norm ships… also Aria/Jenna even more so

My intrigued-by pairing for them: Aria/Jenna