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sailoryooons · 1 year ago

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Okay hear me out, but maybe a little bit of enemies to lovers, little bit of smutty goodness between witch hunter!yoongi and witch!reader?? Idk why this popped in my head but I’m kind of desperate to see a little something now lol.

Also, I love you ❤️

❀ Pairing: Witch hunter!Yoongi x f. witch!reader

❀ Summary: For years, you and Yoongi have played cat and mouse. It’s his duty to rid the world of witches, but he always finds a new excuse to let you slip through his fingers. When you find yourself at his mercy, you wonder if the great witch hunter will finally end your game of chase, or if there’s something that will stay his hand.

❀ Word Count: 4188

❀ Genre: Urban fantasy, enemies to lovers, a hint of angst, smut

❀ Rating: 18+ Minors are strictly prohibited from engaging and reading this content. It contains explicit content and any minors discovered reading or engaging with this work will be blocked immediately.

❀ Warnings: On screen character death (not permanent though), depictions of blood and intense action sequences, scary demon thing, depiction of weapons, hints at violence between two groups of people, mild world building, a bit of angst, explicit language, explicit sexual content featuring light nipple play, unprotected vaginal sex, emotional sex, a lot of spit, UNEDITED.

❀ Published: August 3, 2023

❀ A/N: I don’t know why I thought I’d be able to control myself with some of these ideas because god dammit Sarah, I want to turn this into more than ~4k of a work. Like this idea inspired me so much, you have no idea how insane I wanted to go on this but I had to CONTROL MYSELF because I promised that this year I would keep it tame. I love you so much and I’m so sorry that this is like 90% plot and 10% smut but I kept inching toward 5k and I was like I HAVE GOT TO STOP MYSELF JESUS CHRIST and dkfgjdiogjfoigjg I am telling you right now, I want to come back and revisit this fic and makie it like a four chapter thing or something because GOD I LOVED THIS IDEA AND YOU KNEW JUST WHAT TO REQUEST. Also this is unedited!!!!

❀ Disclaimer: All members of BTS are faces and name claims for this story. This is entirely a work of fiction and by no means is meant to be a projection, judgment or representation of real-life people. Any scenarios or representations of the people and places mentioned in works are not representative of real-life scenarios.

Most nights, Yoongi dreams of you. He knows better, and yet he can’t help himself. It’s like you’re living under his skin, a virus that has taken root in the marrow of his bones. He doesn’t know how he would dig you out if he tried.

If he tried.

If anyone from the Conclave knew the dangerous game that Yoongi is playing, he would be ousted or killed. Killing would be the mercy, but he’s garnered enough hate within the elite members of the Conclave to know they’d rather him suffer cut off from his resources. His friends. His family.

Still, Yoongi walks a dangerous line. He knows it’s wrong, letting a witch infect him like a sickness. He is sure that he’s under your spell. There’s no other explanation for the way he always lets you slip away. For the way he closes his eyes and imagines the flutter of your heart against his, the sound of your gasps, the warmth of your hands.

Stars explode behind Yoongi’s eyes as he presses the heels of his hands into them. He’s exhausted, limbs heavy and sore from a day of bloody work. The activity downtown has only worsened the last few months, making Yoongi hunt multiple times a day and return home banged up.

The pain he can handle. Witches and their demons are nothing new to him. But he knows there’s something he’s missing, something lurking beneath the surface of the increased activity and the strong demonic presence in the city.

Yoongi knows he could ask you. He’s thought about it a few times over the last few weeks but he’s talked himself out of it each time. The curiosity has always lingered there, waiting for him to ask in those moments where you cross his path, coy and sharp as ever. In the minutes you linger, shooting him insults he thinks you don’t mean and playing little word games.

He doesn’t ask, though. And you never offer, despite the fact that your sharp eyes and knowing smirk lead him to believe you know he wants to ask.

Perhaps that’s why he doesn’t. Not giving you what you want is part of the fun. He likes the way it makes you bristle, magic crackling at your fingertips. He loves the way it makes you narrow your eyes at him, lobbing empty threats that make him want to purr.

Whatever this effect you have on him is potent. He can’t shake you off, can’t outrun you.

And worse, he doesn’t want to.

Rain begins to beat on the bedroom window outside. Though his limbs are heavy from slogging through the sewer system downtown after a witch and her ivax demon, he’s a little too keyed up to sleep. Yoongi senses something staticy in the air, an energy that he can’t name.

Opening up his phone, he flips through his text threads with members of the Conclave. It seems everyone is in it tonight, the demonic activity buzzing and the monsters worse than usual. He frowns when he sees Seokjin mention a prowler crawling through the warehouse district. Yoongi knows that’s where you live and an unexpected sense of unease slivers down his spine.

He locks his phone and tosses it on the bed. He doesn’t need to worry about you. You’re one of the most skilled witches in the city and you’ve killed scores of demons and others alike. He should remove your head for the number of hunters you’ve put in the ground, but you’ve killed triple that in witches.

Which is why you’re alone. It’s not lost on Yoongi that you’re a witch without a coven and with unusual alliances living in a warehouse all alone with a prowler on the loose. If you know it’s there - you have to know it’s there, being you - he knows you’ll go after it.

“Fuck,” he sighs at the ceiling.

Grabbing his phone, Yoongi sends off a quick text.

Yoongi: Anyone dispatching to take care of the prowler?

Councilman Haer: Negative. The Conclave will not be dispatching. The Warehouse District is not critical and it’ll go back down after it’s satiated. Prowlers aren’t controlled by witches, it might even take a few out for us.

Yoongi stomach flips as he squeezes his phone tight before getting up. He’s tired of the Conclave’s inaction. He knows he’ll get in trouble for going after something so dangerous without backup, but he can’t ask Seokjin and Hoseok to back him up on this one. Not unauthorized, and not for something so dangerous.

Unsanctioned hunts is exactly how Yoongi has ended up at the bottom of the pool among Conclave members, but he doesn’t care. Politics can’t erase the fact that he’s the best fucking hunter in the city, and no councilman who won’t get their hands dirty can give him grief for doing what needs to be done.

This isn’t about the Conclave, though. Yoongi knows it. Seokjin would know it, if Yoongi told him what he was doing. But the thought of a prowler tearing through the low-income streets in the Warehouse District doesn’t resonate with him. Neither does knowing that you are one of the witches in the line of fire.

Yoongi dresses and arms himself with military proficiency. A black, long-sleeved shirt with a form-fitted leather vest over it to prevent most stabs and cuts, knives sheathed along the ribbing of the vest, breathable pants with a tactical belt and pockets full of hunting necessities, and his necklace with the Conclave helix.

At the last second, he grabs a jacket and pulls the hood up to keep the beating rain from soaking him through. While he has some talent with magic to help him heal faster and make his blows stronger and faster, he’s not skilled in the way of weather or anything advanced enough to keep him dry and comfortable.

Nervousness settles into him as he takes the subway to the Warehouse District. It’s not far, but the train is empty and filled with dirty puddles left behind from passengers. Lights flicker above as the subway rockets unevening on the tracks, making him dizzy.

When he steps off the train and into the wet underground of the station entrance, he knows something is amiss. His fingers twitch as he jogs up the steps, boots splashing loudly as the rain comes down. Wind whips at him here and when he hears a crack of thunder too loud and rumbling to be human, his instincts kick in.

Yoongi takes off running. He knows where your warehouse-turned-loft is. He’d originally scouted it out to eliminate you. Now, it’s something he’s always kept an eye on, steering other hunters away from your home. It’s silly, he knows. You’d call him weak if you knew, probably. And yet he does it, diverting danger coming your way when he can.

Now, danger is already there.

The storm rages harder as he heads your direction. Wind pushes at him, making Yoongi lock his muscles as he fights the freezing cold rain and the debris that blows down the street with the force of the storm. He hopes that it keeps people indoors and away from the prowler.

But Yoongi sees the purple lighting lance out of the sky, an explosion of radiant beauty for a moment before it strikes nearby, blowing transforms into white sparks and he realizes what is so uncanny about this storm.

It’s you. You’re the storm.

A roar of rage shakes the air as he comes around the corner to your street. The warehouse you live in is at the end of the road right up against the bay. The wind is mixed with salt spray, stinging his eyes as he runs towards the shadowy outline of your building, nearly impossible to see in the rain and night.

Yoongi manages to roll one of the heavy doors open to your loft, muscles screaming with effort. Stepping inside, chaos greets him. The ceiling is blown out above your home, rain pouring in from the sky. It tastes like lightning and blood. No doubt your storm is what ripped the ceiling apart, but when he sees the prowler, he doesn’t blame you.

A massive creature stands ten feet tall, rippling with leathered hide and spikes on its back. Long, gangly limbs drag on the floor with black, sharpened talons on the end of each of its three fingers. The prowler walks awkwardly and Yoongi notes the scorch mark in its left shoulder, making it lean as it drags itself toward its intended target.

Which is you, laying on the ground bloody and rain soaked. Yoongi doesn’t even think. He has no idea if you’re conscious or not, but he’s moving across the room, putting power into his step as he pulls out two of his daggers and jumps high up into the air.

Yoongi’s intent is to land on the back of the prowler and sink each blade in as he falls. He doesn’t anticipate the demon to turn away from bloodied prey, but it does, swinging its arm wildly to bat him away. He’s lucky that the forearm catches him in the stomach and sends him flying and not the flaws.

Closing his eyes and bracing for impact, Yoongi is surprised when he doesn’t slam into a wall. He opens his eyes to see himself floating toward the floor, suspended briefly before the phantom energy drops him gently. He lands with shock, looking up to where you’re sitting up, one hand extended toward him.

At least you weren’t out cold or dead. Yoongi is really happy that you’re not dead, but it’s cut short as the prowler charges him.

This time, Yoongi’s ready. He runs at the beast, waiting until he’s right outside of the window of its swiping claws before he dives to his knees, sliding under the creature and between its legs. He twists his hands, cutting the inside of the creature’s thighs as he goes.

It shrieks, shaking the building and scattering Yoongi’s thoughts. He feels fizzy and confused for a moment, the mind breaking scream of the prowler enough to make him vulnerable. He feels a hand on his face and he looks up, momentarily stricken with the thought that he sees an angel.

“Thank you,” you breathe, and he recognizes your voice. Usually it cracks like a whip, but this is soft. Strange. It terrifies him. “I’m going to do something that is probably going to kill me. Just know that I liked our game, Hunter.”

“What are you doing, Witch?”

Your smile is like the sun. He doesn’t think he’s seen anything more beautiful. Your face is covered in blood and rain, turning your neck scarlet as it runs. There’s a gash above your brow and he sees a blackened wound in your stomach.

It is amazing, how a creature like you, bred to be an evil, wicked thing can look radiant. Holy. Wonderful. Your hand is cradling his face and it feels warm, despite the rain and blood on your hands. Your thumb is soft as it sweeps across his cheek, a touch more reverent than he’s ever known.

“Witch,” Yoongi starts, unsure what you’re doing.

“I’ll miss that. Take this.”

Before Yoongi can react, your hand falls from his face. You move past him with absolute confidence, lifting your chin. You have a limp as you do, and Yoongi reaches after you but you’re already out of his grip.

Something stirs in the air. He’s only felt power rippling like that once before when he was a child, and the entire Conclave worked together to slaughter an Eldritch Witch that had attacked them and taken out more than half of their hunters.

Now, Yoongi feels that dark presence again, energy buzzing against his ears as he turns to look at you over his shoulder. The prowler senses the power disturbance too, backing away from you as dark particles begin to gather around your hands.

Above you, the rain hovers, disrupted by the frequency of your magic. The buzz in Yoongi’s ears gets louder as he climbs to his feet, clapping his hands firmly over his ears, wincing as it gets higher and louder. He thinks it might burst his ear drums or crack his skull open.

Disks of dark particles circle you as you approach the demon, which is now roaring once more, trying to disrupt your thoughts. It doesn’t work, the air vibrating with dark matter. You’re at the center of the swirling darkness, the rings rotating around you like an access.

The sound stops suddenly, and for a moment, Yoongi thinks he’s deaf. Black matter pulses from you, exploding outward. Yoongi hits the floor, realizing if he gets hit with your magic, he’ll die. Never before has he witnessed the Eldritch Blast of a witch, but he knows that it's only used as a final stand.

I’m going to do something that is probably going to kill me.

The finality of your words shreds him open as the shockwave of your magic barrels at him. He thinks he’s going to die as it expands toward him, but instead, it arches over him, battling down against a magical barrier.

Take this. Yoongi realizes you’ve warded him from your destruction, keeping him safe as your blast levels the world around you. He feels the magic beating down on your ward like raging fits, vibrating and shrieking under the pressure of the magic.

It even keeps him from being injured by the collapsing debris.

Yoongi looks at you as the world falls to pieces. You go down to one knee, then the other, swaying as the darkness cascades around you in a final flutter of power. Then you fall over, heavy and unmoving as the rest of the building comes down.

All he can do is scream.

Most nights, you dream of Yoongi. You don’t know when it started - perhaps that first night after you met him? You can’t be sure. All you know is that at some point, the hunter poisoned you from the inside out, a disease taking root and rotting you all the way through to your core.

You always knew that dreaming of him would get you killed one day. But Yoongi was different. Wiser than the rest of his wretched Conclave. Smart enough to question his way of life and his faction’s merciless killings. You think he’ll start asking the right questions soon, that maybe he’ll start seeing the signs that who he has sworn loyalty to isn’t who they say they are.

But Yoongi never asks questions.

It’s easy to tell he wants to. There’s always that little pause at the end of your meetings. You used to think it was perhaps he was trying to decide whether or not to kill you. Perhaps it was that at first, but now it’s something a little different. A little more. Like he is on the edge of finally asking you what exactly is going on in the city that he protects from monsters.

Yoongi is simple, though. He likes his little life tucked away in the Art District and he likes the wash, rinse, repeat of killing demons and corrupted witches nightly. You think he likes your little run-ins.

Now, you’ve finally paid the price of letting him live these last two years. Had someone told you before you’d met Yoongi that you’d sacrifice yourself for him and the rest of a small neighborhood, you’d have laughed in their face. You weren’t a hero, though some might think slaying your own kind and their creatures was worth praise.

Penance and praise are not the same, though.

Dying seems like a good way of paying off your list of wrongs. Especially to save Yoongi. If only to save Yoongi, if you were being honest.

Witches have a lot of lore about death and where one goes in the afterlife. You’re not sure where you are, if you exist, or if you’re even really a thought. It feels like nothingness and everything all at once, a void of floating consciousness. There’s no pain, but you remember the warehouse. Remember the prowler ripping down the door and coming for you specifically.

And him. You remember Yoongi coming in, looking like a fucking angel of old as he leapt through the skies. Together you might have taken on the beast. But prowlers are notoriously difficult to destroy, and you were in no shape to protect Yoongi, much less fight by his side as a reliable partner.

That left you with one option, and though you knew it would end you, you’d done it anyway.

Yoongi’s face swims in your mind. Soft and round, eyes like the bottom of the ocean, a single pink scar carved through his right eye. Mouth soft and petal pink, hair silky and dark, reaching to his shoulders. He’s small for a hunter but he’s strong and broad, his mind his best weapon.

Witch, Yoongi had said. The last words you’d hear from him, spoken with a softness that you’ve never heard from him before. Rain-soaked and wide eyed Yoongi, looking at you like you held the flame of life, like you were something more than a creature on the other side of the trench.

The best thing you could do for him was die.

So you summoned your magic from deep within you, that ancient, sleeping thing. You try not to think about what Yoongi’s last memory of you will be, an eldritch horror that will remind him of the creature that slaughtered his family as a child.

Yoongi will never get to ask his questions. You’ll never get to tell him why you haunt the streets killing your own kind. Yoongi will never know the softness of your kiss. You’ll never know the gentle press of his hands.

Something brushes across your forehead. You feel now and you frown. Or can you frown, in whatever plane of death this is? You’re not sure, but you feel… the weight of your own body. The beating of your own heart. The rush of air through your lungs as you breathe.

Awareness prickles at the back of your neck like a needle. Slowly, you begin to feel solid. Your fingers twist in soft sheets, and when you turn your head, you feel the plushness of a pillow. Smell petrichor and cedar.

It smells like… Yoongi.

“Hmmm?” you feel the vibration in your throat at your unspoken question, nothing but a rumble of noise and confusion. Something cradles your face. “Hunnn..?”

A deep, throaty laugh. “Mmm, I take care of you for a week straight and we’ve moved on to endearments?”

Your eyes flutter open, lids heavy. The world swims into view, a little blurry as your eyes try to focus in the dimly lit room, taking in the bed you’re in and the face hovering above yours.

“Yoongi,” you breathe, your heart expanding with unfettered joy.

“That’s the first time you’ve ever said my name.”

“What?”

“Say it more often.” He leans forward and you watch as his dark eyes drink you in. “And never do that to me again.”

Before you can ask him what that is, Yoongi’s mouth is pressing against yours. You melt immediately, going boneless in a bed you’re unfamiliar with, lost in the citrusy taste of his mouth and the gentle press of his lips. His kiss is soft soft soft, blurring reality as he pulls at your bottom lip teasingly before pulling away.

Eyes fluttering open, you stare at him in wonder. He hovers above your face, haloed by inky-black hair. “Yoongi.”

He smiles. “It sounds much better than hunter. Hun can stay, though.”

“You’re not calling the shots.”

“You’re in no condition to fight me.”

“I killed a prowler, I think you’re no problem.”

His eyes glow. “I think perhaps you’re right. But for now, you’re at my mercy.”

“Kiss me again.” You lift your hands and bring them toward his face, brushing a finger over the bottom of his scar. “And don’t stop this time. I’ll ask my questions later.”

“Of course, witch.”

Yoongi’s kiss is hungrier now. Desperate. Full of all the questions he never asked and you meet him with equal fire. You don’t care that you’ve beat the odds and lived. You don’t care about anything else but the weight of Yoongi straddling your waist and the feel of his velvet soft skin beneath your hands.

Every inch of him is warm, filled with the heat of the hunter’s fire that burns through every member of the Conclave. This hunter burns brighter than the rest, though. Warmth blooms where your fingers press over his stomach and chest, ridding him of his shirt. Fire burns where you grab his arms, arching into him as his teeth skim your throat.

You’ve never felt this in sync with someone, bodies twining together like you were made for one another. Yoongi’s hand is scorching as his touch ghosts down your body, his touch light and teasing as he lowers his mouth to your hardened nipple, catching it and giving a gentle suck.

Honey-dipped moans slip from your mouth. Yoongi’s mouth is wet-hot against your skin, tongue laving hungrily as his hand seeks the heat between your legs. Your thighs open for him easily, giving Yoongi access to the dripping mess of your folds. He curses when his fingers slide between your slit, gathering slick to circle his digits around your clit.

“Fuck,” you hiss, hips twitching. “Don’t bother. I can take you now. Want you now.”

“I told you that you were at my mercy.” You summon your magic, rattling his shelves. Yoongi leans over to your neglected nipple and plucks it with his teeth, making you squeal and shiver, pleasure rattling you. “Fine,” he agrees. “Greedy witch. Should have known.”

“Not greedy,” you shoot back as Yoongi sits up and sheds his pants. Your hands follow him, tracing the faint scars on his stomach, pressing against the muscle of his tapered hips. “I’ve waited for months for you to do something. To say something.”

“I’m not good at that.”

You hum. “It takes me dying for you to take initiative?”

“A lesson hard-learned and never to be repeated.”

Yoongi’s cock is hard, bobbing heavily as he shuffles you under him and presses your thighs open for him. The brown tip is sticky with precum, his shaft long and thick enough to make your cunt ache for him more.

“Nice cock,” you tease as he pumps himself, hand gliding and spreading his precum down his shaft.

He grunts. “Can’t wait to feel this fucking pussy,” he mutters, leaning forward and pressing the tip to your entrance. You make a breathy sound, eyes fluttering shut at the pleasure-pained stretch. “Think you can take it, witch?”

“Yes.”

Yoongi sinks in and you second-guess your statement for a second, but the stretch of his cock pressing you open feels good. Deliriously so, your back arching as he bottoms out. You feel him in your gut, deeper than anything ever before and you whine as he draws his hips back before snapping them forward, punching the breath from your lungs.

He sets a deep, hard pace. You grip his biceps, feeling the muscle flex in his arms. Every part of you is on fire, lit up from the closeness of your bodies as Yoongi leans down and melds your mouths together, continuing to fuck you so deep you know you’ll never forget what it feels like.

Every brush of his cock against your g-spot drives you mad. Every whisper of your name - your name, not witch - makes you shudder. His tongue is hungrily as it brushes against yours, his moans deep and throaty as your pussy grips him tight.

“Fuck,” he pants, sliding a hand down your body to grab your thigh and hoist your leg higher. It changes the angle, making his stroke somehow deeper. Your eyes roll back and your head digs into the mattress as you fist at the sheets. “You can fucking take it.”

“Keep going.”

“As if i could fucking stop.”

You never want him to stop. Fucking you, kisses you, teasing you, shadowing you as you take on the world. You want every part of your life colored with Yoongi. You want him to be a part of your mornings, your fights, your weaknesses, your strengths. You want to rile him up, needle him with little insults that get him going. Tease him to make him laugh and share that secret smile.

Every moment has led to this. You don’t know how you never saw this outcome, here with him, crying out his name as your orgasm crests into an unstoppable force. When you come around him, it’s with his name in your mouth and so much need for him in your heart that you think you might explode with energy for a second time.

After, when you’re wrapped in Yoongi and you feel his hunter’s skin blaze against you, sweat-slick skin pressed close, you think that finally, he’ll ask those questions. You’ll give him answers.

“Don’t do that ever again, witch,” Yoongi warns. “I will follow you into death.”

#yoongi smut #suga smut #min yoongi smut #yoongi fanfic #yoongi x reader #bts suga #bts fanfic #minors do not interact #minors dni #bts suga smut #yoongi angst #halis happy agust

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primus-why · 3 months ago

Text

Rom-Com Cliché -- Saying the Wrong Name at the Wedding

Idk why but I just imagined some post-war bonding ceremony shenanigans. Imagine the war has ended, and all Cybertronians are invited back to the planet to rebuild...

The tentative situation they're calling "peace" between Autobots and Decepticons is under constant strain, which was to be expected, but the returning NAILs don't seem to like the factions either. With tensions on the rise, Optimus and his advisors decide their best bet is to try and forge a fresh relationship with the NAILs-- after all, Optimis only ascended to the role shortly before the exodus. He'll show them that he's different than his predecessors! By extending a servo in genuine trust and a desire to understand, the Autobots and NAILs may find new allies in one another.

(Which, as Prowl points out, is a strategic military maneuver as much as it is a political one. By bolstering their allied numbers, it will make the 'Cons think twice about breaking the treaty and restarting the war.)

However, to their credit, Megatron and the 'Cons appear to throwing themselves into rebuilding efforts as much as anyone else. They even agree to share resources with the NAILs-- in exchange for labor or something of equal value, of course. Optimus can respect that. He knows Megatron believes actions speak louder than words, so it's encouraging to see the Decepticons making the effort to unify as well.

Slowly Optimus is put more at ease-- the three primary factions fall into a rhythm which sees the return of buildings for shelter and science, free-flowing energon, and nature reserves. As a result, he feels much lighter. The Matrix practically sings when he sits on a Council where they are productive!

Ironhide: Careful there, Prime. I think that grin might become infectious.

Optimus: Ha-- I keep forgetting how easy I am to read without my mask.

Megatron snorts. He was always able to read Prime just fine, even with a battle mask. The mech is too open and honest-- a quality the bit-brained Autobots admired in their leader.

But, even he had to admit, it's hard not to stare when the fool is practically beaming. It comes as a shock to no one that joy was not an emotion he often saw in his encounters with the Prime on the battlefield. 'It's natural to be curious,' Megatron reasons with himself; he simply isn't used to that bare face-- especially when it isn't weighed down by sad optics... or lips set in a hard line...

'... Scrap, what were they saying?'

Windblade: Is everyone excited for the festival?

'Ah.'

Starscream: Ughhhh...

Metalhawk: It doesn't have to be perfect.

Starscream: Yes it does. There's less than a deca-cycle to complete the spires. If they're not-- nevermind. I won't get into it here.

Megatron: Isn't the point of this Council to communicate our collective needs? I daresay Winglord-- there's no better audience to hear your party-planning woes.

Starscream: Hmph. Perhaps. But I'd sooner scan another Earth altmode than accept your aid... no offense, Prime.

Optimus: None taken.

Ironhide: In all seriousness, if you need materials--

Windblade: --or even more flightframes to assist in construction..?

'There we go.' Megatron huffed to himself in satisfaction, 'That prideful idiot.' He knew Starscream would never have allowed himself to ask for help unless he gave him a poke.

A festival. He hadn't been to one in many years-- never in Vos, and never as a free mech. The last time he attended had been on those rare occasions he snuck out of the Pits. A handful of times he had been lucky and stumbled upon a festival. Once he deliberately snuck out to orate a speech, before the authorities broke up the crowd and spoiled the atmosphere of the event.

'... Maybe I should give a speech, for old times sake-- with the added bonus that Starscream would absolutely abhor it.'

Optimus stole a glance at Megatron, who had begun to help himself to the snacks brought for the meeting. The two faction leaders were certainly on better terms with one another than at the start of the rebuilding efforts, though Optimus would hesitate to call themselves anything more than acquaintances. Which felt strange, considering how intimately they'd come to understand one another in the context of war.

'He did it again...' For someone normally so prone to posturing, Megatron was not opposed to a display of subtlety, especially when in service to others. Of course he continues to lean into grand gestures, and always makes sure he gets the credit he is owed for his work in rebuilding Cybertron... but in these small, almost inconsequential moments, he still looks out for others in his own roundabout way. He'd cede his floor time to someone who spoke on an issue he agreed with, essentially handing them a platform; he'd do what he did just now-- toss out some snarky jabs to get a conversation flowing; Optimus once even saw him purchase fancy fuel at a market, then hand half to a sparkling who had been eyeing the goods... though he tried to hide gesture.

The duplicity fascinated Optimus. Has he always been this way? Surveillance of Decepticon command and years of combatting the mech head-on suggested this was not the case. However, they held different roles now. Optimus knows he's changed since the end of the war... he can't help but wonder how Megatron has been changed too...

'... Wait, oh no, did Metalhawk just say something?'

Metalhawk: Speaking of Earth, I've been meaning to ask you about it for a while.

'Ah!'

Optimus: Yes, of course! What would you like to know?

Metalhawk: Having never been myself, I'm curious about your affection for it. You must hold it in high regard if you've maintained your altmode all this time?

Optimus: Oh! That's... well, yes. Despite the many unpleasant memories, I also made many fond ones that I will treasure. Even when I chose it, this alt just felt... right.

Metalhawk: I see. Would you be open to sharing some of those fond memories with me? Perhaps... at the festival?

'... Holy scrap. Is he asking what I think he's asking??' Despite his efforts Optimus can feel energon begin to rise to his face-- he hasn't been asked out since before he was a Prime! Distantly he is aware the room got quieter, save for Megatron coughing on a sweet that went down the wrong pipe.

Optimus: I should think there would be plenty of time, if we attended together.

Metalhawk: Then it's a date?

Optimus: Looking forward to it..!

Metalhawk takes his leave with a warm wave and a smile. Windblade and Ironhide gawk until he is gone before rushing to Optimus.

Windblade: Did you know that was going to happen??

Optimus: No, not at all!

Windblade: You handled it pretty well!

Optimus: Oh thank Primus. I don't know why I got so nervous all of a sudden. I speak to him nearly every day...

Ironhide: Ooooo, I'm telling Ratchet...

Optimus: Go ahead, it's not like I wasn't planning on telling my amica... preferable he knows before the press.

Ironhide: I was thinking more-so that he'd wanna squeeze you in, to check if your firewalls are up-to-date--

Optimus: -- 'HIDE!

Starscream: *ehem* Congratulations, Optimus Prime, you two make a handsome match. Now, if we could get back to planning the biggest event of the stellar cycle...

Fast forward-- past the festival, past the tabloids speculating on the nature Metalhawk and the Prime's relationship. The Autobots meet with Optimus once again. This time, some propose... a proposal.

That is to say-- a political bonding ceremony between the leader of the Autobots and a leader of the NAILs.

Ratchet thinks it's a bad idea-- much too soon for something so dramatic. It will seem farcical, an echo of a time long past where higher castes bonded to better their social standing. Optimus tends to agree.

But Prowl argues their festival date generated a lot of public approval. Having the people's high regard and trust is important in unstable times...

Prowl: Not to mention we'd secure our relationship with the NAILs. If the 'Cons ever stir up trouble, we'll be ready for them.

But Optimus isn't so sure of that argument anymore. Why would Megatron put so much effort into rebuilding, to personally have a servo in shaping their new world, only to destroy it again?

Optimus: ... Jazz? What do you think?

Jazz: ... *sigh* Honestly? I think a big, public-facing, cross-factional bond would go a long way towards helping things solidify. Feels more permanent... and obviously the 'Cons are off the table. So... why not Metalhawk? He's a nice guy, right?

Ratchet: Being 'nice' isn't all there is to it! Optimus has every right to bond with someone he loves..!

The 'Bots bicker, and Optimus has a moment to mull it over.

Finally, he speaks.

Optimus: ... I think... I could grow to love him. In time.

Ratchet: Optimus...

Optimus: It's okay, Ratchet. I accepted long ago that being Prime would require personal sacrifices.

Ratchet: ...

Optimus: Prowl, please prepare correspondence to Metalhawk. I want him to make an informed decision, so that I don't take this choice from him under false pretenses.

Ratchet exits without another word and doesn't return to the meeting.

Fast forward again-- to the day of the bonding ceremony. Metalhawk agreed (after making sure Optimus was of sound mind) to bond for the unification of Cybertron.

Anyone who is anyone is at this wedding. Councilmech, visiting dignitaries and ambassadors, the rich and famous. Sprinkled among them are genuine friends of the couple. Across Cybertron the event is broadcast live, and everyone waits with baited breath as the ceremony draws closer and closer to its conclusion.

Megatron made sure to sit on the end so he could beat the crowds to the open bar. In fact, he doesn't even stick around for the latter half-- why bother? He's already made his required appearance. Might as well crack open some high grade and head home early.

He eyes the solid fuel as well-- energon goodies and foreign sweets piled high for guests to choose from to their sparks content-- but he doesn't have an appetite. Hasn't for quite some time. He inspects his cube and spots the broadcast on a nearby holoscreen.

He sneers, frighteningly enough that the staff lingering in his line of sight make themselves scarce.

Megatron: I thought you were better than this. All that talk about forging our own bright future, and yet here we are. Lining up for the honor to dance in the shadows of a gilded past. Disgraceful.

On screen the couple turns to face each other, ready to recite the last portion of their fictitious vows before sealing the deal. Optimus, the self-sacrificing idiot-- still all too easy to read even in times like these if one knew where to look-- is putting on a brave face out of a sense of duty.

... He can't watch them do this. Instead, he turns back to lean against the bar and contemplate how far back this puts his plans for a free Cybertron... a world where high caste couplings are a thing of the distant past, and Primes can bond whomever they please...

Clergybot: To love and to cherish...

Metalhawk: To love and to cherish...

Clergybot: ... Until all are one.

Metalhawk: ... Until all are one.

Clergybot: ... And now I, Optimus Prime...

Optimus: I, Optimus Prime...

Clergybot: ... Take thee, Metalhawk...

Optimus: ... take thee, Megatron...

Megatron spits out his fuel and glares at the cube like it offended him.

'What the frag is in this--?!?'

But the gasps and murmurs of the crowd replacing the dull recitation alerted him to the fact that the ceremony... had stopped.

Optimus: I... I mean...

'Oh Primus...'

Cameras zoom in even closer, showing the Prime frozen in shock. The cube slips from Megatron's servo, shattering on the floor.

'Did he actually...??'

Metalhawk was stroking the Prime's servos that were still held in his own, whispering something blessedly inaudible, but the other mech eventually twisted them free.

Optimus: ... I'm sorry, I-I have to go.

Murmurs grew into a scandalized uproar as the Prime bolted from the altar and out the back of the temple. Metalhawk and the clergy attempted to placate them, but in time Metalhawk would leave to join the search party who had ran after Optimus.

Not before Megatron downed the rest of his drink and stole some snacks for the road (the reception wouldn't be needing them anyway.) He takes to the skies-- an advantage not many Autobots had on hand that would take too long to mobilize-- and opens a private comm channel.

Megatron:: Soundwave! Get me visual reports from the Westside of New Iacon, near the temple! Prime has escaped!::

After a beat, he realizes how that sounded. Old habits certainly do die hard.

Megatron:: He's fled the scene. Can you tell me which direction he's headed?::

Soundwave pings an acknowledgment. It doesn't take long to get his answer.

Soundwave:: Prime: headed towards Archives.::

Megatron:: The Archives? That's halfway across--::

Soundwave:: Clarification: The Old Archives.::

'Ah, that makes more sense.'

Megatron:: Thank you, old friend. What would I do without you?::

Soundwave:: Megatron: remain single forever.::

Megatron:: You-- wh-- that is not why I am pursuing him!!::

Soundwave:: ;) ::

Megatron hangs up and focuses on his flight instead, the impending conversation he'll need to have with the Prime looming ominously like a cloud.

#megop #this got wayyy too long lmfao #fuzz writes #fic pitch #rom com shenanigans #cue them getring stuck huddled under some debris of the old archives #as acid rain begins to pour outside. thus calling off the search parties until the storm passes.#yadda make out session in (well technically out of) the rain baybeeeee

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foldingfittedsheets · 5 months ago

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i honestly dont know who to talk to about this or where to post it, and ive seen a few people ask for your advice so i decided to give it a shot. i am pretty convinced i have adhd but how do i talk to my parents abt it? i suck at talking to my parents about serious things but idk maybe there's like some adhd pill or medicine?

Well. There’s definitely medicine for it that will objectively help if you can get a diagnosis. I’m a little hampered not knowing your age but I will say, your school probably has a counselor.

They’ll be able to help you interface with your parents if this is a conversation you’re anxious about broaching, and might have resources for both you and your parents.

I was really going through it in middle school and my counselor honestly helped me so much. If that’s not an option I’d say to look for an adult you trust to help be your advocate with this if you’re worried that your parents aren’t going to be receptive to helping you.

You can also model your behavior like it’s a business meeting. It’s a little silly inviting your folks to sit down with you at a table but if you’ve got papers and notes as to why you think this applies to you and ask for help it will solidify that you’re earnest and will not just be easily brushed off.

Good luck!

#ask ffs

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iwonderwh0 · 1 year ago

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Another fic idea:

Connor accidentally transfers from his body and temporarily exists as non-physical entity in Hank's devices

Starts with situation where there's something that requires Connor to be connected to computer via cable (like for example to manually delete some CyberLife junk that slows down the system and lost its purpose) and needs Hank's help to be there and do what it takes, because Connor needs to be in stand by for this to work, so he's just sitting/lying next to him completely limp with caple connected to the back of his neck.

At some point something goes wrong and Hank's computer goes into restart, and when it loads Hank notices that first this CL maintenance program loads in, then blank text document opens on his computer and in a matter of seconds text appears, first some unreadable wall of symbols, then normal text, something along the lines of

"Hank, are you there? I'm afraid my program is running on your computer. I'm trying to move but I'm not sure if it's going through. Am I moving right now?"

Then

"If you're there please write something, I can't hear you."

Hank will stare at the screen, then at motionless Connor next to him, when he look back at the screen there'll be another couple of messages asking him to write something and from the way they're written and the speed at which new text appears it'll look like an escalating panic – from just asking Hank to write something it'll turn into begging to at least interact somehow with the computer, at some point within merely a second they'll start to appear too quickly to read. Hank'll grab keyboard and as fast as he can write something, maybe first just gibberish to write something asap, then delete it and write

"Connor?"

New wave of about a ten new lines of text will appear, most of which just repetition of the general message of "yes, I'm here"

"Can you hear me?" Hank will ask at loud, then type it after not getting any response

Another wave of lines of text with general message being "No, I can't hear you. I can't see you. I can't move." and "please don't leave me", desparation slipping through the lines

Hank will ask if he can do something to fix it

"I don't know" will appear on one line after another in some slight variations, then

"Can you connect some mic and headphones? I can't find any available."

Hank will look around the room, then type "wait, I'll go grab some" to which another wave of desperate "Please don't leave" appear in response, then "when will you get back?"

Unsure if he should go search for headphones at all Hank will type

"3 min"

Then search for headphones

"Connor?" He'll call again, hearing some noise his headphones "Hey, hey, can you hear me now?"

"Yes. I can hear you, but I can't move. I don't- I don't feel like I have any body at all"

"So you're in my computer... How did that-"

"Am I still connected?"

Hank moves to check that Connor has cable securely connected to the port on the back of his neck, and on the other side it's just as properly inserted into according port on the computer. He carefully moves Connor to confirm that one more time.

"Did you feel that?" Hank asks

"Feel what?"

After initial panic when both of them get slightly calmer they'll come to realisation that in order to allow the kind of changes they were about to make android's mind is basically temporarily transferred into another device, in their cases Hank's computer, but due to some mistake in process, computer went into a restart, so no transfer back occured + some component burned down making transfer back temporarily impossible (unless it's replaced). Or idk how it works, it's actually against my headcanons, but fuck it. The point is that this will take time to replace it, because it has to be ordered as something custom that can't be found as it is available the same day.

Without the need to move actual physical body (that occupies most of the resources) actual "mind" is not so big so it can even run on a phone, which is exactly what happens next. (Don't attack me, it's a silly little story idea, so let me have fun)

So for a couple of days or up to a week Connor exists within this non-physical predicament, learning ways to interact with other devices (like connecting to cameras that are within same network just to see something, although it's hard to understand the depth (regular cameras are sure different than the ones used for android's eyes)), surfing the web, etc. Basically like in the movie "Her"(2013) but as a temporary measure.

During this time Hank adopts a habit of wearing a headphones (or just one) at practically all times just to keep Connor a company while he's like that, because (at least at first) he's freaking out and is really opposed to the thought of being left alone even for a short time, because without a body and barely any inputs from the real world (compared to usual amount and quality) the experience is way too similar to non-existence and shit is understandably freaky. It seems like constantly having such a company, basically enduring someone else's presense at almost all times can rapidly become annoying and unbearable, but somehow it quickly becomes a second nature instead. In a way it's even nice. Consequently they talk more than ever, often ending up discussing something minor or ridiculous, something they'd never talked about otherwise, just because they're basically getting used to thinking out loud with a company.

Story ends with Hank finally replacing the component that got broken with a new one, allowing Connor to finally transfer back. The image of his body moving for the first time after being completely still for a relatively long period of time seems to me weirdly adorable. Being able to finally move and feel again must be similar to the feeling of wearing the right type of glasses for the first time after living with way too weak ones without realising how fucking blind you actually are. But yeah, it must be about 10 times better than that.

The first thing after finally being able to feel physically present like an actually existing person? A hug. Of course.

#dbh #hankcon #probably (although it can be platonic. I mean there is literally no physical body in question)#pocket ghost

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genderkoolaid · 5 months ago

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idk if you're the best person to ask but you always seem to have great resources for all kinds of shit so I'm just shooting my shot I guess

tw: healthcare stuff?

I just got invited for my first cervical screening, and I am 100% legitimately terrified. I do not want to go. I know I should, I know its in my best interest, I know I'll probably have to anyway before my hysto that I've been referred for, but I am just. so scared

maybe it's just immense dysphoria. maybe it's fear over the state of trans healthcare lately. but the last time I went to my local hospital for anything, I got ferried straight to the women's services and was repeatedly misgendered to the point I disassociated the whole time. this was pre top surgery, but I was still out and no one even tried to address me correctly

I seriously don't know if I'll be able to go and I'm wondering if you or your followers have got any resources or advice I could use. anything would be so appreciated

I completely get being terrified, especially if you are going back to a place where you've already experienced transphobic mistreatment.

First of all, know your rights as a patient. The AMA has a list here. You may also want to check out the medical guidelines on trans gynecological care, and this Scarleteen article which goes into detail on pelvic exams, what to expect and your options.

You have the option to do the swab yourself. I would suggest calling or emailing your hospital, explaining that you are uncomfortable with a pelvic exam and asking about self-collection.

This article goes over medical self-advocacy tips for queer people. I definitely recommend asking someone you trust to accompany you to the screening, and/or to see if your hospital has patient liaison to help you advocate for yourself. Having someone to back you up, especially when you yourself will be in a vulnerable position, is extremely helpful. If there are any LGBT organizations local to you, you may want to contact them and ask if they have any resources or support that might help you. You can use the LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory to find affirming healthcare providers near you (in the US and Canada). You can also check out this short list of words and phrases to use in an appointment that help you assert yourself and get what you need from your medical provider.

Assuming you end up making an appointment, you should practice ways of staying calm (breathing, affirmations, stim toys, etc.) and go over phrases you can use to advocate for yourself beforehand. Be compassionate with yourself and let yourself feel how you feel- and don't be afraid to feel angry if you are mistreated. It isn't right and you don't deserve it. If you can, plan something nice to do after the appointment to reward yourself. You should also educate yourself on reproductive health and keep track of things like discharge, vaginal pain, pain while urinating, etc., especially if you don't end up getting a screening.

#m.#ask box

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neodreamgirl · 2 months ago

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SEUNGHANNNNNN NOOOOOOO

I'M SO PISSED WHAT THE FUUUUUCK

This is insanity!!! I was on weverse just YESTERDAY and I was screenshotting the crazy comments and posts made by ot6 because they were so laughable. How you gonna take THESE BITCHES SERIOUSLY?

I have so many words I don't even know where to start like what the fuck

I was so excited to start stanning again! Now, I had to delete their most recent music off of my apple music. I rewatched the siren dance practice of when Josh Price was teaching them the choreo. It's one of their most memorable behind the scenes videos. This shit is so sad. Oh my goodness...

When I was on weverse, I noticed that if you scroll down the feed you'll see 5 ot7 stans, and then 2 ot6 stans. How the hell does one make the decision to kick him out because of a minority? I'm so confused. The other 6 members are in Madrid (I think). Who did Seunghan deliberate with about this?

I understand if he saw all the hate and decided it was time to go. I understand, I do. He's the one receiving all the hate but this is not his fault. The psychopaths are at fault here; never him nor RIIZE. I can't even fathom the impact this has had on his mental health. I genuinely am hoping that he still sees his worth as a person. I genuinely hope he understands that these people are crazy and that he is the victim. He is not the villain and he genuinely has so many supporters that want to see him thrive in this life and the next. But I just feel like he was probably pressured to leave

Listen...All this deliberating for the past 11 months and not one conversation about how to deal with the inevitable backlash? Are you kidding me? Please be so fucking serious. HYPOTHETICALLY SPEAKING, if seunghan approached management about leaving the group, they had to sit him down and tell him that they got him. That they understand the hate can be disheartening, discouraging, and distasteful, but that they will handle it. They would look for resources that will help him mentally, take away social media access from him so that he doesn't see the hate, talk about how they gradually plan on integrating him into the group. If he wishes there could be any accomodations, they'll grant them. They needed to tell him that they don't want to let him go so easily because they believe in his talents, potential, and rightful spot in RIIZE. They had to make him feel worthy. They had to encourage him to deal with the backlash because he wouldn't be dealing with it alone. They would hire more security so that when they go out at airports and such, he can feel safe. Management had to reassure him that there will be official statements made defending him and if legal actions must be sought, then they will FUCKING SEEK THEM. I DON'T GET IT. I feel like they forced him to leave idk

DAMN. THE OFFICIAL SM ACCOUNT COULD HAVE RELEASED A STATEMENT SAYING THAT THEY STAND TEN TOES DOWN ON WHAT THE FUCK THEY SAID BECAUSE SEUNGHAN BELONGS IN THE MOTHERFUCKIN GROUP AND ANY SHITTY UNWASHED BOOTY CHEEKS HAVING ASS BITCH THAT GOT SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT IT CAN REFER THEIR COMMENTS TO SM'S FUCKIN LAWYER. THE FUCK YOU MEAN. I'M SIIIIICK AS HELL. SICK TO MY FUCKIN STOMACH

What kills me is that the 6 other members wanted him integrated into the group. They wanted to work with him. They wanted to experience idol life with their BROTHER. The mf they trained with for YEARS. This is soooo unfair. I literally cannot believe this shit. All you stupid bitches that were against the boycott and made assumptions that maybe we ot7 hoes were wrong about RIIZE wanting Seunghan back can kiss my fuckin ass. This is your fault, too, by the way. You're a stupid ass bitch. What the hell made you think these niggas didn't want him back into the group? What the fuck made you think they thought this was fair? Speak INTO the mic, bitch.

A lot of you were not willing to fight for Seunghan. Maybe you thought it wasn't that big of a deal, which is odd considering his circumstances, but you're a bitch. I'm like 10000% sure that boycotting the group would have done him and his FORMER members a whole lot of good. A lot of you were too pussy....I would like to think that perhaps I'm wrong and that the only reason you continued stanning was because you had hope he would return and that their management wasn't unfair trash. I don't know...

OT7 BRIIZE...we have gone THROUGH it this past year. Like I am so sorry that we had to go through any of this nonsense. This is absolutely insane. The emotional rollercoasters from 2023 after his hiatus was announced. Articles having to be deleted, edited and re-released without his name. That shit happened about 108912 times. The random sightings of him this year looking at the messages we left him, all while the company nor the members mentioned him. The random spaces the members would leave during their performances. The videos of the members reading RIIZE IS 7 signs and reacting positively going viral online like what the fuck. Also, I can't help but feel like this isn't over...

I don't know...Am I trippin? Seunghan has so many supporters I highly doubt that those that can afford to send trucks and shit will stay quiet. Many people actually find this whole situation extremely unfair. It's not even because it's seunghan but because this is literally awful. People have been very vocal about how the handling of this situation was pure shit...that's not going to stop now. Many non-BRIIZEs have commented about how Kpop companies always side with the K-fans and never pay attention to international fans. Many of them applied that opinion to this situation in particular. They're not wrong, either. I saw that some weird ass SM employees were on a message board where they can post anonymously. They said they were against the integration of Seunghan in the group because of the backlash they would receive, but the backlash was strictly from Chinese and Korean fans. But those people were only a select few. Many Chinese and Korean fans like Seunghan just as much as western fans do.

Why do I feel like RIIZE is going to do something? Wonbin spoke up but his post got deleted. There are some recent airport pics where they look absolutely distraught after this announcement was made. This is what I mean when I say this isn't over LMAO. I think this will only get worse. Kpop is no longer just a cute little niche thing in Korea. This industry reaches overseas. These idols are slowly finding their place in the western market because as we have seen through the success of BTS, western award shows are starting to award kpop music. There is a place for them here.

I wouldn't be surprised that if the reaction of OT7 BRIIZE sends RIIZE into a hiatus. As I was thinking this, I learned that some people have been making comments about RIIZE disbanding to prove a point to these crazy fans and SM. I don't know if they would actually do that, but I doubt that they're going to just let this happen.

I actually genuinely believe him leaving was a bad idea lmao I'm not just saying that as a fan but because too many people already thought the situation was unfair. In his defense, having so many people talk crazy to you would be enough to push anyone to get away. However, the people he spoke to about this failed to realize (like how is your brand RISE and REALIZE and you fail to rea--nvm) that the idea of him leaving or getting kicked out was the reason for the controversy in the first place. People didn't want to see him go on a freaking hiatus what the fuck made you think they would want to see him permanently leave the group? Are you stupid...this is what I mean like if he was genuinely trying to protect RIIZE's brand, the people should have told him that leaving will have the opposite effect. They should have encouraged him to sing and dance with his fans and fuck the haters in the ass.

We can all expect this to get more coverage. Expect 14232 trucks and banners sent to SM. Expect statements after statements. Honestly, you could even expect him to be integrated into the group again. That's how fucked this company is. With enough backlash, this could happen. I'm so serious.

#seunghan #riize #shotaro #wonbin #eunseok #sungchan #anton #sohee #FUCK SM ENTERTAINMENT

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deconstructthesoup · 3 months ago

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Sorely tempted to run your typical high-fantasy game of D&D so I can fulfill my worldbuilding dreams of just making elves Weird

Like, oh, high elves are isolationist and snooty and live far away from people and are usually characterized as being calm and emotionless? Great, let's make them live in the mountains and wear fluffy coats for flavor, and let's also take the "elves are tall and skinny" thing and make high elves Uncanny-Valley levels of tall and skinny, complete with blank white eyes and a tendency to speak in unison when in groups. Make it so they deliberately suppress their emotions in favor of cold, hard logic, and make it so they're so disconnected from time due to their lifespan and their environment that they truly feel like relics of the past.

Wood elves live in the forest and are big nature people but aren't that different from high elves usually, and also elves as a whole come from the Feywild? Awesome, let's give them cat's eyes, claws, and tufts of fur at the end of their ears, make their teeth a little sharp and pointed, and throw in some green blood for good measure. They're our baseline elves, so some of them might live in cities and some of them might live in the forest, but make it so being a jack-of-all-trades is part of their culture, so they tend to have insanely niche knowledge of an insane amount of useful skills. Hell, make them a little bit chaotic and freespirited, moving away from the "I am calm and at one with nature" thing and more towards a "nature is a force that will fuck you up and I embody that" thing.

Drow live in the Underdark, an underground realm that's filled to the brim with weird-ass Aberrations and all-around freaky creatures, and worship a spider goddess? Perfect, let's make it so their purple/blue skin is something that's meant to help them blend into the Underdark and that their white hair is a blessing from said spider goddess, and let's take some inspiration from The Magnus Archives and spin their spider aesthetic into a culture that values charm, family, and forming "webs of connections---" and this can mean anything from making a drow character who's just a really nice person who wants to make friends to making a drow character who's straight-up a mafia boss. Make it so that because they live underground and are therefore closer to a lot of natural resources, they're more technologically advanced, but also make it so they've embraced the weirdness of the Underdark, creating a steampunk-meets-Lovecraft society where there's radio towers made in part with the psionic powers of mind flayers and trains created combining machinery with the carcasses of Aboleths. Maybe all of this weirdness is why people are so scared of the Underdark---a lack of understanding, rather than drow being genuinely evil by default. But also... make drow a little bit too charming, a little bit too used to how alien their home is, and have them feel like they're time travelers who've gone back in time and are just a tiny bit lost. They're disconnected from time like high elves, but in a completely different direction.

Idk, man, I just. Elves should be weird.

#maybe this is showing drow favoritism but underground societies are really fun and drow deserve better than getting typecast as evil #also. wood elves should be a little feral. high elves should be unsettling and not ethereal #hell i can already think of a story where high elves are straight up in a hivemind #dungeons and dragons #dnd #high elves #wood elves #dnd drow #fantasy worldbuilding

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trashlie · 11 months ago

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Love and Deepspace Thoughts

I promised some thoughts about Love and Deepspace and we're a week into the game and I think I can finally ramble about it for a while. I've been immensely enjoying myself and screaming daily with my friends lol and I think I've been able to formulate my thoughts pretty well! Idk how many people actually wanna read this, but I always love to have a record of my thoughts - especially something this early in game, because knowing papergames, there's going to be so much angst, so many twists and turns, and I'm already seeing a lot of threads of how things could play out and I like to be able to look back and see how wrong I was lol.

I play on the North American server and have completed chapter 7, so this will be full of spoilers for story content, as well as a lot of spoilers for anecdotes, tender moments, and some of the myth stuff - I'll try to denote where I'll mention certain spoilers in case you're trying avoid certain things, but it'd be impossible to write all of my sincere thoughts and capture all of what I really love and am looking forward to without spoilers, unfortunately.

Below will have a lot of thoughts on the current LIs as well as speculation about the 2 coming LIs, as well as their dynamics, and further speculation on where I think - or maybe just would like to see - the story could be going. To be clear, I have not cleared all anecdotes or myths, as I'm trying to savor things and good lord I cannot pull all those cards; a lot of this is compilation between my experiences as well as @poisonheart and further things I've read and discussed in the server. I will also be approaching this as a longtime player of MLQC, papergames' other otome game, because I cannot help but see the comparisons between the game and sing the praises of where I feel like they've grown and refined, but I don't think you'll need to have played MLQC to read this - you can honestly just ignore those bits lol >A<

What I can outright, sans spoilers, say is that I'm really enjoying Love and Deepspace so much and I think that it's come at a really good time for me, personally, as a MLQC player, because there's so much in game that's been completed and we're basically going through the motions doing our dailies, waiting for our new chapter events or participating in the occasional events (if you aren't hoarding resources for SP wish tree events) so it feels SO refreshing to dive into a new game that takes place in the same universe/world but have so much new stuff to uncover, so much new lore, new characters to meet and get to know. In MLQC I have a very clear favorite, but so far in LADS, I find that while I think I might have a favorite, I really enjoy all three LIs so much and I don't feel bad when I pull someone else's card, because it means I get to gobble all the lore! I don't feel like "UUUGGHH THIS GUY" when we get to X's chapter route. Perhaps it's just that LADS really caters to specific tropes and cliches in a way that I enjoy, but I feel so much like they've done these characters great justice! This goes for the MC, too, who doesn't feel at all like a cookie cutter MC meant to be a stand in for our own self-insert, but rather has a lot of personality of her own, is feisty and discerning.

Also, I gotta give a lot of props to the character customization features. I understand why people are upset that you can only change your hair and hair color in the photobooth function, but we rarely see MC out of that feature - so much of the game is in first person POV - and the times that we do see her, she's seen from the back, so maintaining the same hair for all characters allows them to keep something they can use for her stand in in such scenarios. But the customization is legit nuts! You can do so much with it, I spent so long tweaking mine the day before the game launched! I want to make side accounts I will never play just to play with that function lol

But let's get into the good stuff!

I really cannot sing the praises for the LIs enough, and that's going to be the bulk of what I'll talk about, because even this early in game, there's so much nuance to the LIs in both their characters as well as their dynamics with MC. Everyone brings a little something different to the table, and with what little we know of the upcoming LIs, I think even if for some reason the current LIs don't work for people, maybe the new ones might? But personally, I am so invested in all three of them! While I think I have a definite ranking in favor forming, it's not like it means I dislike any of them at all, and I'm always so eager to learn more!

One thing I'd like to mention before getting into it is that I love the inclusion of the myth cards, and though they are treated as alternate universes, I think it's more like they are previous or parallel timelines, but I'll try to get into that a little more as I talk about the characters!

From what I can see so far, I think Rafayel is one of the more popular fans with the North American/English-speaking fanbase - and it's not hard to see why! He's sassy, provides good comedy, he's fun to bully, and he's really pouty. I had a feeling he would be my favorite from the get go, just because I tend to have a thing for really pathetic men lmao and I have SUCH a fondness for him. I said I think I have a ranking forming, but it feels WRONG to rank them because that's how much I really like them, but if I had to, Rafayel's #2 position is really, REALLY close to #1! But the thing is, it's not just because of all of those traits above. I'd argue that he's one of the characters who has a lot of iceberg depth, as in there's a lot of depth to him that may get ignored or glossed over because of the sass and brattiness that accompanies, or even masks, it. As poisonheart puts it, the comedy hides the pain - and Rafayel comes with a LOT of pain! There's a delicious complexity to him where he is one part needy and clingy, but also one part resentful and hurt. MC made a promise that she doesn't recall - whether it was in this life or another - and you really get the sense that Rafayel wants to settle the score, but at the same time his feelings get in the way of those bitter, hurt feelings, and I really enjoy this complexity a lot! I think it elevates all of the sassiness, gives it a purpose and meaning.

Take his Nightly Stroll Bond: on the one hand it comes across as comedic and even manipulative -and it is! But when you get into it, you understand why. That's not to say if I think there's justification for manipulation because that's not what I'm here for; I'm just here for a good time and a good time I'm having. But when Rafayel says "It's been 800 years!" I don't think that's an exaggeration - he just isn't talking about just the day that he waited. Is faking an injury/illness and checking himself into a hospital overkill? Sure lol but that's what makes him so delightful to me. There's all of this hurt and unaddressed resentment, but as much as that, there's all of these feelings! Because even though he's hurt, he CARES about MC, SO MUCH. That's the problem! It would be easier if he didn't care, but he does. He's so needy, so clingy, he wants her attention because he's waited for so long while she was off, having forgotten him, living a life that abandoned and left him behind while he waited and waited and listen ;~; my stinky fish man I'm so sorry I cannot wait for her to learn the truth. I want to know SO BADLY what happened! When did they meet, anyway? He makes a comment on the homescreen when he's sulking lol about "See you in three months... three minutes, landlubber"

HOW LONG DID HE WAIT FOR HER IF ONE MINUTE IS ONE MONTH TO HIM?!

And listen, idk what anyone else thinks, but the end of chapter 7 had me in my FEELINGS, with the way he tried to leave her at the bottom of the ocean - but he couldn't, because of their promise, because he's unable to go back on it, because even though she forgot all about him and their promise and went about her life without a memory of him, he can't do that. It's the hurt! It's the resentment! It's the confliction between his feelings, because it seems like they take up equal space - his hunger for her attention, for what feels like she was so fickle to give and take away, the way she meant so much to him and he feels like it wasn't the same ;A;

(I've contemplated how possible it is that they met when she was younger, before she was attacked in the Wanderer incident 14 years ago, and if that could somehow have affected her memory, but I feel like it must be something greater, because seeing the fish glow in his heart means the vow they made was binding, so something strong must've caused her to forget. But that's also why I've contemplated if this was in another life? I'm less sure about this, because in Rafayel's second anecdote, he crosses paths with MC at university, though of course she doesn't recognize or recall him, and he specifically recognizes her voice. "Though her voice has matured, her pronunciation, enunciation, the rhythm of her speech, and even the emphasis in her sentences... Every word strikes like a drumbeat, awakening long-buried memories in his mind" It feels more likely that it happened while they were younger. Also I feel like this passage really encompasses her significance, that he can recall these details, to recognize them after so much time ;~; stinky fish you make my heart ache ;~;)

I appreciate so much that they've given Rafayel so much depth, that under the comedy of his pathetic, sulky exterior is so much reason for it, that there's an undercurrent of resentment and something dark - after all, we haven't actually uncovered what happened with the painting and Raymond. We saw the mermaid skeleton in his house - was Rafayel seeking revenge for his people?

But Rafayel also shows tremendous emotional sensitivity, in ways that sometimes catch me off guard. I distinctly remember lol sitting in shock after 4-3, and the text from Rafayel that pops up asking MC if she got the thing, telling her about how he asked a seagull to send a white seallshell why hasn't it arrived yet lol and I remember going "NOT NOW RAFAYEL READ THE ROOM ;~;" and then he goes on, telling her "if you draw on it and put it into the ocean the sea will carry the feelings you poured into the drawing to the soul you yearn for" and I just started SOBBING lol ;~; It was just so.... poignant but so simple. He didn't say I'm sorry for your loss or my condolences or anything like that - it was his own chaotic, weird method, but it was sincere. Likewise, he shows that similar sincerity in Ocean At Night, despite initially dismissing paper lanterns as silly human traditions - a lantern will be blown out why would you put all your hope in something so fleeting - coming around to using his own flame, that will never go out, to light a lantern for MC with the prayer that her hopes will never go out. ;~; Listen, I cried. I was TENDER my heart was soggy ;~;

And while I know people love a good pathetic man and enjoy chaotic sass and the fact that we really, truly NEVER know where his plots are going to go lmao - always an adventure with him - I hope they appreciate that depth and don't disavow the darker elements of him that give reason to those core elements of him. Rafayel is a character that carries his hurt and bitterness on his sleeve, rather than hiding it or shoving it away, and I really look forward to exploring it and all the messiness it has to offer, and how it will play out for MC.

On the very far end of the spectrum is Zayne. He's the character I expected to not be too fond of, so I was so pleasantly surprised as we got to know him to find myself proven wrong! I expected him to be... hm... I guess colder? More prickly? Than he turns out to be? And, admittedly, he is still rather aloof and cold on the surface, but I think it helps that he and MC have that history and that we are introduced very early to them through the A Frozen Promise Bond. It made it readily apparent that Zayne was not a cold and aloof person because he was too lofty or something but rather... it just seemed like maybe he'd been someone more awkward when he was younger, someone who didn't know how to connect very well with the daughter of this family friend, but he still tried. The snow seal took me out, you guys ;~; I never moved on from that!!!!!!

Despite seeming so cold, there's a certain kind of warmth to Zayne, just under the surface. He shows his care and concern in the ways he knows best, as MC's PCP, caring about her well being and health, but their Tender Moments are a collection of wonderful moments showing them growing closer, getting to know each other better as people, as friends and equals. For the record, Starry Nocturne hurt me so much, but it did two things I thought were so important. a. It showed that he was not infallible, which I think is very important, because often characters are written in their roles as geniuses who never fail, or else accomplish the impossible, and to see him lose a patient, while painful to read, made him so human but also b. It gave him that moment of vulnerability with MC where he could lean on her. It's so, SO important! for a MI to be able to lean on the MC, I feel, for them to be those equals, for him to be able to be vulnerable with her, but especially so for a character like Zayne who feels very reserved and closed off.

MC makes statements about feeling like there's distance between her and Zayne, especially when they first come back into each others' lives for the first time, so getting to indulge in these little Tender Moments of them taking little steps towards each other, closing that gap between them, is so satisfying! Having that history gives them a dynamic unlike Rafayel or Xavier's with her, because she has her memories of their childhood, of who he was when they were younger, and who they are now, and can compare the warmth of him opening up, of the chuckles and laughter she elicits from him. They also have this kind of flirtship I really enjoy - something very coy, not in an uwu so shy way just.... very coy, both dancing around the bush, before one of them calls it what it is - I thought the A Heartfelt Paradise Tender Moment a really good example of this!

It's so easy to read Zayne as being cold and aloof, but he really does have so much warmth, he just isn't good at showing it. He doesn't wear things on his sleeves like Rafayel or MC. But good LORD when he's in private....!!!!!!! The Business Trip Memoria TOOK. ME. OUT!!!!!! This is the game launch and they're already throwing this at us?! It was, to me, such a mature kind of date to give us? Two people who have had to grow used to each other's absence in their lives, and continue having to make space for those absences, as both are busy people - Zayne, a dedicated cardiac surgeon and MC a hunter - and what it means to grow used to the absence and to miss each other. But listen - when MC got in his lap?! She was touching his mouth? His face?! "What did you want me to do, in front of all those people?" he asked her? SIR?!

HELLO?! Girl. Listen.

I had to fan myself alfjkkfkjafjkafkjaf lmao

I looooooove them for that element of normalcy - for the people who have important careers and lives that they have to attend to, but still find the room for each other in their lives. The implication that Zayne rushed his way through school, took on grueling workloads and lacked a social life amongst classmates much older than him, not because he loved learning or even because he was so dedicated to his career - but because it was his way back to MC, so that he could return to stand in front of her? GOD. HOW DO YOU MOVE ON FROM THAT? HOW DO YOU HANDLE THAT? Knowing that he did it all so that he could stand in front of you again? HOWLING pls LISTEN.

Zayne may feel cold on the surface, but he is SO warm, he cares so much. And not just about MC, either. Thank God, too, because I'm not huge on the "Cold man only cares about the woman he loves" type, but Zayne cares so much about his patients, and making sure they feel seen, cared about? His first anecdote had me crying about seniors in hospitals with no relatives to accompany them to their examinations ;~; What a man.

I haven't had a chance to dig into his myth yet, which is a shame, but his third anecdote DID destroy me. I'm not even exaggerating, I was sobbing in my bedroom - and the worst part is I knew it would be painful going in and I still wasn't braced for impact enough! I mean, frankly, both his second and third hurt but nothing like the third! Parallel universe Zayne in a grim reaper role where he must kill humans turning into Wanderers - so very opposite the surgeon version of him who does everything he can to save people, both of them living parallel lives to each other, experiencing each others' lives through their dreams/nightmares. THIS HAS ME SCREAMING!!!!!

So much of MLQC has a lot to do with timelines - parallel worlds, some alternate universes, a whole timeline that's technically the same timeline reset but also still moving forward...... lol I can't help but think about where all of this fits in to LADS. Even though the Myth storylines are taken as alternate universes.... I think they're part of everyone's stories. We see echos of them. I haven't finished Rafayel's but even little moments, like making a break for it and having to run to escape attention echos a scene of Rafayel and the Princess MC making a mad dash in the market alley to escape the palace guards. It feels especially true for Xavier and MC, which I'll get to. But especially with Zayne - whose myth, again, I haven't been able to dig into, but seems to pose him as a sort of god, a forseer - we have two very different timelines/events now: his myth/Philos story and his parallel Grim Reaper self. How many timelines/parallel universes are we playing with, I wonder....?

I really want to revisit this in the future when I do get to dig into his myth, because I can see how Rafayel and Xavier's myths tie into their identities and their dynamics with MC, but I don't know yet how any of that works for Zayne and MC! I'm so intrigued, I can't wait!!!!

And finally, Xavier. God, I should have known lol in retrospect I should have realized Xavier would be my weak spot but listen..... sometimes I gotta lie to myself lol I love everything about him, the seemingly gentle eepy man who is also simultaneously a walking weapon of mass destruction but also so easily stumped by a UFO machine lol. Much like Rafayel, I'm especially fond of him because of the depth and dynamics, but also, honestly, much like Rafayel, he just checks all the boxes. Poisonheart puts it best when she says Xavier is the perfect middle-ground of the two - he's not as sassy as Rafayel is, but he'll still roast MC, he's very grounded and comes off a little aloof sometimes, but he doesn't seem nearly as aloof as Zayne, and he's also really unintentionally funny! He plays the middle-ground of them SO well. And where Zayne was working hard in order to show up in front of MC again and Rafayel has a score to settle but also so much neediness, it feels like Xavier has a LOT of karma to make up for.

Now, I personally don't have his myth cards, but poisonheart does, so everything I know I've experienced via her and all of our hours of screaming lol and the thing that really gets me the most about Xavier and MC is like..... okay it's the way he's clearly this really incredibly strong guy, but he plays the submissive prey role so well? lol He begs if she tells her to, he doesn't resist, he indulges her, he plays along - but when the mood strikes, he'll pull the dominant switch and flip the table and alkfjlFKJKAFJ ALKJFAF LAKJFAKFKJFAJ AFLKJD GODDDDDDDD IT GETS TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Xavier has that sense of like.... everything for MC, right? Like he's making up for a lifetime. There's implications that maybe he's been searching through space and time for her, trying to find her, that they've lost and each other countless times before - or rather, she's lost him - and his Shooting Stars myth supports this. Sometimes it's really subtle, sometimes it stands out so much I'm in agony. She remarks so often how he feels so distant, like he's as out of reach and mysterious as a star. She has nightmares about him disappearing and he is incredibly reassuring about staying, about not leaving. And maybe I'm reading into it, but he even talks about her hanging on tight, like maybe if she's strong enough, she can keep him from ever being taken away, keep them from being separated this time.

He's also the one who feels like he's actually endured all the years. Rather than separate timelines or parallel worlds it feels like Xavier has actually traveled through space and time, like he's the same Xavier from the myth himself, which makes him talking about the loneliness of stars so much worse. How long has he been alone, searching for her? ;~;

But their dynamic just really gets to me - it's those echos, the way MC subconsciously acts on them, and how indulgent Xavier is towards her. It's the playful teasing and the gentleness and how he plays so submissive and docile but when the mood strikes he can switch it up and catch her (and me!!!) off guard. It's the way he texts LMAO never writing out you or one lmao (which is marginally better than Rafayel's COMPLETE LACK OF PUNCTUATION LMAO ALFKAJFKJAFKJAFKJAFJK) It's the way he has that innocent baby face and could absolutely get away with murder.

Initially I had contemplated if it was possible he is actually a star and while maybe that isn't true I am still not certain he's human - at least he's not from our world (especially if he really is the very Xavier from the myth) but I still like to think of him as one, because he wears the star motif so well and likens himself to one so often. Also, look, I am a SUCKER for a star motif. I was doomed from the start lol.

There's just something about the agony and TRAGEDY in their past, in the echos, the subconscious fears, and the sheer indulgence!!!!! It's MC telling Xavier he might be her enemy later and the distress it caused him, prompting him to share his access privileges with her to earn her trust ;A; It's the way he's apparently spent DECADES, at the VERY LEAST, on our earth AND HE'S A TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE COOK lmaoooooooo it's the stupid little lines he says because he's not as overtly clingy and pouty as Rafayel but an armful of plushies is a dreadful thing because then he doesn't have a free hand to hold MC's hand !!!!!!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE NORMAL ABOUT THIS?! WHINES

I could write a whole essay about Xavier and I'm restraining myself and attempting to be really, really normal about him okay?

But yeah for him it's that depth of like... the guilt and agony he carries - because not only does leaving her hurt him, but it hurts himself, too. That unbearable loneliness, the endless wait, hoping, wondering, unsure of when, or if, he'll find her again, but refusing to give up - and when he does, endeavoring to make up for it. Like, as it is, there's something about strong men being submissive that is so lakkjfkafkjfkjaf alfjakfaf but it's the way Xavier does it with MC that is soooooo INDULGENT, so VERY "for you, because it's you" that makes me want to chew my keyboard and howl at the moon and every time he reassures her he won't leave I feel dread but also I want it to be true.

I know how papergames operates. I know Xavier may mean it, but I also know.... ;A;

And to think, this is all JUST THE LAUNCH STUFF! We haven't even passed chapter 8 yet lmao We don't even have all our LIs! We've (maybe?) yet to meet our antagonist? WHICH I'M EXCITED ABOUT BTW

Listen.

I have some thoughts and I'll try to keep them short (yknow, for me) because this is already long and rambly and maybe I can just expand on this later but: Sylus and Caleb are confirmed as LIs right? But are they the same person or not??????

If Sylus = Caleb it gives us a LOT of potential for exploring some really complex, grey morality. I mean, no matter what, Sylus is going to bring grey morality lol but especially if it turns out Caleb is actually secretly the leader of Onychinus, because it brings that whole "Who is this person I thought I knew?" and more so because Onychinus is poised as an enemy to the Hunter's Association.

But something Papergames has done in MLQC and I fully expect them to do here is explore grey morality, not only in Onychinus, but the Hunter's Association. Xavier's Tender Moments Garden of Secrets brings up the implication that some Wanderers are, in fact, intelligent, and while it's rare, it can occur. And with parallel world Grim Reaper Zayne having to kill people before they turn into Wanderers it begs the question of this world: can that happen here, too? And it gets into the moral conundrums. That's not to say the Hunter's Association are bad for killing Wanderers and protecting people but it starts to bring up questions, because in Grim Reaper Zayne's world, this is being covered up. What about this world? There's also the question of what is Onychinus even doing? I fully expect to find that whatever their objective is, it will be a question of the greater good and if the ends justify the means and the such.

Ultimately, an antagonist LI has to be sympathetic in some fashion, because how else are they going to write the story for them lol. Like they can certainly have Bond/Memoria/Tender Moments that are more about the combative element of their relationship meeting the chemistry that draws them to each other, but at any rate, there has to be something that draws them to each other and makes them care, right? So therefore, he can't be entirely bad, or at least MC has to be able to empathize with him and his objective, or the cause of it or something like that.

If Caleb = Sylus, that might be more achievable because of their history, but obviously that isn't a requirement, and that can also make it more complex, because again, that whole "this person I thought I knew".

I think there's a possibility for that overlap partly because we already have a LI with a history with MC - but to be fair, Zayne's history with MC is very different than Caleb's and has a different dynamic, so even if they didn't give him the villain route, it would still play out very differently and give them a significantly different enough dynamic that I don't think it would be a big issue.

If he's not Sylus, then there's still a lot of avenues to explore with Caleb. They've already implied that Caleb wants to take care of MC, wants her to lean on him and let him play that role for him, to stop being so strong in front of him, and I think that could very well affect his story and what has lead to his "death". Being in the airforce makes me wonder if it's possible that the military is associated in any way with Onychinus - after all, didn't he say that he does top secret work involving the deepspace tunnel, and isn't Onychinus interested in that? It wouldn't be the first time a government agency was written as being corrupt lol (and again there could be a lot gray morality here where Onychinus isn't necessarily inherently bad). Caleb could have gotten involved simply by his job.

There's the revenge angle, if he, too, was an experiment subject (which would make sense because why did Granny take him in as well?) and wanting to get back at? the people who experimented on them. Or wanting to be more involved? A spy case? SO many possibilities and I'm really excited to see where it all goes!

I think regardless of how Caleb is reintroduced to the story, I imagine there's going to be some kind of conflict - his "death" and then reappearance.... did he know that was going to happen? was it planned? was he involved? I don't think they'll bring him back and yay! now she has a family member back but I think there will be some kind of strife to work through, some good ol angst that really plays with the dynamic of feeling hurt and betrayed but wanting to return to the old times that can never be returned to, wanting to seek refuge in someone who maybe doesn't exist anymore, being drawn to someone you cared so much about and feeling so conflicted about it alfkjkfjkjafjkaf kj

I JUST HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS!!!!!!!!!!

This is such a rambling mess so kudos to anyone who made it this far. Maybe I'll manage to write some more bitesized thoughts later @___@

#Love and Deepspace #LADS Brainrot #LADS Rafayel #LADS Zayne #LADS Xavier #LADS Caleb #LADS Sylus

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cripplecharacters · 4 months ago

Note

Hi again. :)

I am the anon who asked about terminology to describe facial difference in different language. I tried to search for resources but i found nothing. Maybe i just didn't look hard enough but unfortunately i wouldn't be suprised if there realy was nothing. So i am going to shoot my shot and ask if any of you knows about some resources in hungarian or maybe even speaks some of the language. I know my chances are not great with the last one😅 but one can hope.

Anyways all of you are fantastic, special thank you for Sasza he helped me a lot with the things he wrote on this blog. I hope you all have a great day.

Hi (again)!

I'm not a Hungarian speaker (I know like 5 words) and to my knowledge neither are any of the other mods, so please take everything below as me theorizing about a language without actually knowing what sounds natural to a native or having enough context for how some of these words are used in practice. I tried to fact-check as much as possible, but I'm sure there are a lot of mistakes lol. If any native speakers know more about terminology surrounding facial differences/visible disability, please share in the notes!

Ajakhasadék would be the medical name for a cleft lip! Szájpadhasadék would be cleft palate. I don't know if it's awkward or too scientific to be used in writing, but if the character with it calls it that then you can very much make a “my condition has an unpronounceable name” joke, disabled people do it all the time (I know people who can't spell their condition's name without looking it up).

I've also run into issues with trying to find any actual resources about facial differences or other face equality adjacent subjects, so I'm hoping some followers might help out with that.

As for making up words, I'd guess that arci különbség would be the most literal translation, but again, I don't know how awkward that potentially sounds to a native speaker (I'm guessing a lot as all new calques from English do lol) or how much sense it makes. You can potentially try doing it the other way around into something like különböző arccal (difference of the face)? The most common term I found in my research was torz arccal, so I tried to switch the first word into something more positive as I have seen különböző used to mean “different” in context of body diversity/positivity rather than torz which I've seen translated as “distorted” or “freakish” in some places. If the words with “face/facial” in it sound too out of place, you can still try going the “visible difference” or “visible disability” route. IDK if something like láthatóak különbségek makes sense, I've only seen the first word used with torzak/torzul while looking all of this up. “Visible difference” is vague, sure, but if the readers know what you are referring to (the cleft lip) then it shouldn't be as much of an issue.

If you decide to make up your own term for it, be aware that it will sound awkward because it's a New Term and not because you're doing something wrong. All new words start like that before they actually start getting used.

Of course these are just my outsider suggestions (sorry for the poor grammar, I'm sure I messed up the declensions) but I didn't want to just answer with “I didn't find anything either sorry” 😓

Have a great day as well! Thank you and I'm glad you find the blog helpful :-)

mod Sasza

#mod sasza #anonymous #terminology #non-english writing advice #<- no ideas for a better tag name #followers feel free to add on!!

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thousandyearphantombunker · 5 months ago

Text

I am so tired of high functioning fully verbal non cognitively impaired able to mask autistics being the ones who dictate how we talk about autism- I hear shit like high functioning autism= high masking and low functioning autism= no masking - i get it when you have an invisible disability its like no one ever believes you when your struggling and your told your being lazy or don't qualify for things like disability aids you may need - its a shitty sometimes traumatic experience but low functioning isn't 'low masking' it is needing to be leashed so you don't run into traffic and get hit by a car, its needing to use diapers and take medication to make yourself less violent, it is 'learning sign is impossible for them and an aac device isn't gonna be useful here either' its your parents having to rely on the good will of others and hope they won't be abusive dick bags to your child, it's getting treated like shit by the police because they think your odd behavior means your on drugs, it's being unable to go online and rant about the horrible shit you go through cause your too impaired to even understand it- low functioning autistics have it so much harder and my heart goes out to them- so much ridicule, judgement, abuse and just being so misunderstood is miserable being reliant on others like that is miserable- acting like being low functioning is just being bad at masking and acting like people who are low functioning get treated so well and are taken care of by angels is freaking dumb as fuck- just because your low functioning doesn't mean you get support (and if any of the stuff I listed above is a good indication they need it even more)

Low functioning isn't 'low masking' its your goddamned disability impacting you more severely, and again I get it sometimes your told your super high functioning even though your actually not that high functioning and your approaching burn out and the reason no one notices because you cant stop masking- it's horrible but saying low functioning= not masking, is dumb cause it's so untrue it's being more severely disabled

Also autism burnout isn't just limited to people who can mask/are former gifted children. Masking for too long isn't the only source of Autism burnout- autism burnout can happen to people who can't mask and aren't straight A students. Autism burnout is caused by not having your needs met (having your accomodations ignored, being unable to communicate etc) Autism burnout can happen to anyone with autism and again masking isn't the only thing that causes burn out,

idk I feel bad that you guys couldn't take off your masks, that you couldn't stop repressing your autistic traits, that your needs didn't get met because no one noticed or cared or maybe they straight up bullied you when your needs came up- but why do so many of you think low functioning people are more 'privileged' "oh well they had more money to get a diagnosis and their parents cared about them more to get them a diagnosis and they have more resources!" Okay first of all bold of you to assume any of that shit - lots of low functioning people struggle with poverty, have shitty parents and the idea that they get more resources/better care is laughable second of all even if they have good parents and the resources they get aren't bad or nonexistent and they have more money to get the help they need- so fucking what? Is it really a privilege? Is it really a privilege to be stuck with the IQ of an 8 year old who needs to live in a special home after your parents die having to use sanitary devices and needing others to handle basic tasks for you being carted around by different caretakers, changing case managers, being that helpless? Is it a fucking privilege- i personally think that's kind of scary as shit.

I'm high functioning or low support needs or level one whatever label you like (I think levels have been the closest to working but I used functioning labels for this post cause it was easier to articulate) and I am aware I am not the authority on the autism community as whole- especially the low functioning members of our community but jesus Christ i will call other high functioning people out i usually dont play that misery poker, victim shit but it seems to be the only thing some people listen to

I've known a few low functioning autistic people in my life and I love them and it hurts knowing how they are demonized and abused and how our community shuns them due to shame and thinking that if people see this side of autism they'll take away our rights and I hear them talk about how 'privileged' they are to have such sevre symptoms because getting a diagnosis *definitely means that your super rich because you can afford a diagnosis and care takers, and you get amazing care and have good parents!* (Sarcasm a lot of low functioning people have shit parents, are poor and on top of that being disabled is expensive as shit oh and the idea that people are more understanding and kind toward visibly disabled people is again fucking stupid) And what a blight they are on our community and prevent us from getting full rights... I am so done with that shit. Like the reason we mask is to avoid the danger that comes from being visibly disabled and yet so many of you are jealous of visibly autistic people? And you can't fathom that they get shit treatment a lot of the time? Fucking hell. I wanna hear from more visibly disabled people, people with disabilities that have embarrassing symptoms, people with learning disabilities and low iqs and slower processing, from people who are severely impacted and need people to take care of them, I want to hear about autism from people who aren't burnt out gifted kids or cutesy tik tokers with cute special interests/non violent 'aesthetic' stims (those people should still talk because they are also important) but like so are the intellectually disabled ones? Idk I think we need to hear them to, we need to actively include them in our conversations about autism. we kept screaming at the top of our lungs 'no talking about us without us' yet we don't follow our own advice

#ableism #rant #Vent #actuallyautistic

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