#remus lupin being awesome and saving the day

[c0smopolitan]

Welcome and goodbye part 1

A/n: This has been put off for too long😭 I had this sitting in drafts for ages because I kinda hated it but I’ve had a change of heart so here you go. Don’t know when part two will be because I’m busy with two new James fics so if I get to it, I’ll lyk. Only proofread once so probably some mistakes, if there is I will fix later. Thanks!

Summary: you find out Sirius cheated on you, but maybe there’s more to the story.

Warnings: angst, no interaction with Sirius yet, reader is sad, Sirius is sad. Sirius Black x f!reader F/n means friends name

It was hard to ignore the marauders now that you and Sirius had broken up. They were your friends too, but they were Sirius’ friends first.

James tried everything to get you to talk with him, but you think he’d gotten the hint when you slammed the door in his face.

You felt guilty but you shouldn’t. He cheated on you, and no amount of love you had for him could fix that.

F/n was starting to get worried about you. You had missed the last week of classes on the excuse that you were sick but everyone knew it wasn’t true. The news of your breakup with Sirius was everywhere, everyone knew.

“Y/n please just get up!” She groaned, grabbing your arm trying to pull you out of bed.

“I don’t wanna see him F/n.” You cry out.

She drops your arm causing you to fall back on your bed. “Cmon Y/n, please.”

You look up to see her looking at you pleadingly. “I haven’t even seen him since.” She deadpanned. You groaned.

“he’s probably just as depressed as you are." You roll your eyes. He cheated on you. He doesn’t deserve to be upset. “Ok, I’ll get up.” You sigh getting up from your bed and getting ready.

The walk to potions seemed like an eternity. Everyone was looking at you. Girls whispering to their friends about the scandal and people giving you dirty looks. When you arrive to the door everyone is already looking at you. James' eyes widen as you walk past him and sit in your normal seat.

James abruptly gets up from his seat and sits down next you. “James, not now.” You sigh. He looks at you desperately. “Please Y/n,” he grabs your hand, and you turn to look at him. “Please just let Pads explain, he won’t leave his room.”

You pulled your hand back.

He frowns at the motion but continues. “He’s gone mental and I really can’t take his late night crying anymore.” Your heart constricted in it’s chest. He’s crying over you?

You shake your head. “There’s nothing to explain,” Slughorn walks into class. “He cheated on me.”

Class ends and you quickly make your way outside. Free periods feel like your only escape now that your relationship is all everyone talks about. You make your way into forbidden forest, a place you’ve always gone to when you needed solace.

Second year was an especially hard year for you so you made a small hut where you would lie down to think.

Later on, you brought Moony after you discovered he was a werewolf.

Imagine your surprise when you find him tucked in a corner reading a book on transfiguration.

He looks up at the sudden noise and smiles at you. “Hey N/n,” He shuffles out of his position and scoots over leaving room for you to sit. “Hey Moony.” You crawl over to where he left you space and sit down.

You look at him to see him already looking at you. You groan outwardly and he laughs. “I’m not here to coax you into forgiving Padfoot,” you smile gratefully. “Although you should hear him out N/n,” You frown.

“I know you might hate him right now, but he’s not a monster. I don’t think he would purposely cheat on you.” He purses his lips. “He’s just an idiot who has a tendency of making dumb and irreparable mistakes.” He says sheepishly.

“Rem,” your frown grew deeper, “I could never hate him.” He raised his brows. “I love him too much. That's not something that's going to go away in a couple of days. I just can’t believe he would ruin our relationship for a hookup.” He winced because he knew you were right; he did ruin his relationship for a hookup.

“Hear him out love, I know you might not want to forgive him but let him explain, let him have his closure so he can stop whinging please.” He spoke exasperated and you laughed.

“Alright.”

He looked at you surprised.

“Really?” You nodded. “Yea, really.”

He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you in a hug. “Thank you, Y/n.” You release yourself from his hug to make your way out. You stop before you exit completely. “This is for me, not for him.” He nods and you leave the hut making your way back to school.

tags: @bruher @bullets-from-another-dimension @onyxwingsandcrowblackdreams @princessofsilverandserpents

[u2fangirlie-blog]

50 Things for My 50th Birthday - Now With 10 Bonus Things!

50 Things for My 50th Birthday

A continuation of my 40 Things for 40 List, with 10 additional entries for 50. Plus 10 Bonus Things!

Originally written December 2013 on my 40th birthday. It's a list of bits of wisdom I wish I had known when I was younger. Every item has a story behind it. I don't know if this is original, intelligent, humorous, creative, interesting, or valuable to anyone other than myself. But it means something to me.

Maybe someday I'll write an annotated version of the list with the stories for each one. Then that would turn into a book. Maybe it's better to give short snippets and remain mysterious than to overshare everything. December 2023.

40 Things for my 40th Birthday: 12/2013

1. The Universe has a sense of humor which manifests itself as irony. Take time to stop and notice the big glowing neon signs that point to irony.

2. Karma, like gravity, is a force of nature. It does not discriminate. It balances your actions and consequences like balancing an equation.

3. It’s better to be single and alone than be in a bad relationship for the sake of being in a relationship.

4. See the patterns and interconnections - streams, veins in leaves, flowers, moss, agates, geodes, galaxies, calendars, time – it is beautiful and awesome.

5. Every day is different. If today is shitty, tomorrow will be shitty in a different way.

6. Look for the positive. Thousands of things go right every day.

7. Have a good work ethic. Do your best, but don’t let perfectionism interfere.

8. Know your history. Remember your ancestors and family. You could not be who and where you are without all of their hard work.

9. Don’t bite the hook.

10. Don’t feed the troll.

11. Remember Professor Remus Lupin’s Defense Against the Dark Arts lessons – Ridiculous, Expecto Patronum, and Chocolate.

12. Learn crafts – sewing, knitting, beading, etc. – it enriches life. It’s fun to give surprise presents to people.

13. Dream out loud at high volume. Turn it up to 11.

14. No good deed goes unpunished.

15. The Platinum Rule: Treat people how they want to be treated.

16. Always have 2 weeks’ supply of socks and underwear.

17. Invest in good bras. Your back and boobs will thank you later in life.

18. Always wear comfortable shoes. Your feet will thank you later in life.

19. Don’t waste time in front of the mirror. Save money. Cosmetics are optional.

20. Do not fester. To fester is bad. Don’t bottle things up for years. When you eventually explode, it only frightens, confuses, and pisses off the target of your nuclear blast, and innocent bystanders may be injured.

21. Don’t confuse lust for love. Lust and love are not the same thing. Don’t allow physical attraction to obscure reality. Ask questions. You might not like the answers but ask anyway.

22. Beware of charming men. They use sexual energy to get attention and evoke a reaction, like using glamour magic. The feeling is fleeting. It’s nothing special.

23. Don’t wait by the phone or the computer. When a man says, “I’ll call you tomorrow,” he probably won’t. He might intend to call, but he doesn’t know which tomorrow he means – 24 hours, 6 months, 8 years later. Don’t take it personally.

24. Diamonds are not a girl’s best friend. You don’t need a ring. A loving relationship is the real treasure.

25. U2 is the greatest rock ‘n roll band and “Achtung Baby” is the greatest rock ‘n roll album in the entire Universe.

26. You are your own worst enemy. You are the only enemy you will ever have. Stop listening to the Itty Bitty Shitty Committee.

27. You are your own best ally. You are the only ally you will ever have. Never betray yourself to others or to yourself.

28. It is what it is.

29. Chill the fuck out.

30. On the subject of Big Girl Panties: Pull them up. Deal with it, whatever it is. They can be She-Ra Princess of Power, Wonder Woman, or Tinkerbell Underoos. In times when you can’t pull up your Big Girl Panties, get some Coping Skills so you can deal with it. Use Coping Skills until the problem is solved or the situation subsides. Repeat as necessary. Coping skills will eventually become the New Normal way of dealing with it.

31. Learn as many life skills as you are capable of doing - housekeeping, home repairs, yard maintenance, gardening, cooking, car maintenance, etc. Be as self-sufficient as possible.

32. Know when to ask for help. Offer to help others too. Know when to hire professionals to do the job.

33. Felines are the best animals ever in the history of all species on Earth. Being a Crazy Cat Lady is wonderful. It’s the cats who are crazy.

34. Read everything. Read constantly. Develop highly effective writing and verbal skills. Clear communication is essential.

35. Book smarts, diplomas, and degrees are not an accurate measure of intelligence. Common sense, ability, skill, and experience are most important.

36. No one likes an insufferable know-it-all. Don’t correct others even if you are right – unless it is a life-or-death situation.

37. Practice mindfulness. Orient your perception to the meta level.

38. Be grateful and express gratitude.

39. Be compassionate, sympathetic, and empathetic – even to people you dislike or who dislike you. Everybody hurts. Everybody has bad days. Understand that.

40. Remember the reason why you had your ears pierced on your 30th birthday. Enjoy the small pleasures of life: favorite foods, scents, sights, sounds, clothes, jewelry, and all the pretty things. These are what the dead remember and desire the most.

50 Things for My 50th Birthday: 12/2023

41. Toxic Situations: Know when to get out on your terms while you still have options. Leave before they force you out. Otherwise, you could be left scrambling and everything is worse.

42. The Ultimate Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything is 42, obviously. (Thanks to Douglas Adams.) 42 is the atomic number of molybdenum. 42 divine beings, with Osiris, Ma’at, and Thoth in the Hall of Truth, judge souls before they enter the afterlife in Egyptian mythology.

43. Dialectical Behavior Therapy skills, motherfucker, do you use them? You spent 2 years in Fight Club. Strive to be skillful every day. The core skill sets are mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotional regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness. Remember your values. Remember Wise Mind. Remember Radical Acceptance.

44. Gaslighting: Discussing problems is complaining. Telling the truth is causing trouble. Explaining yourself is making excuses. Asking questions is undermining others, making others look bad, or challenging authority. Challenging hurtful comments is not knowing how to take a joke. Expressing emotional needs is neediness. Expressing emotions is seeking attention. Showing confidence and intelligence and using an above-average vocabulary is being a bitch, being a know-it-all, or flexing your education and experience.

45. You need people whether or not you like it. Remember the pandemic lockdown. Remember working from home for a year and a half. You thought you trained your whole life as an introvert for that historic moment and would be excellent at it. No. It was objectively bad. It was a disaster. You need people. Be a better daughter, sister, and friend to the people in your life.

46. People change for better or worse. People will drift in and out of your life. People grow apart. This is a natural part of life. Accept it.

47. Magical Thinking: It’s one thing to know better. It’s an entirely different thing to do better. This is stupid behavior. It doesn’t matter how smart you are, how hard you work, or how good your intentions are. It’s never going to work out how you want it to. It’s never going to get better. And no one cares. Accept responsibility for your part in it. Don’t make excuses. Do something different. Do better. Change.

48. “Do or do not, there is no try” is fundamentally bad advice. Yoda’s lesson led Luke to black-or-white thinking. What would Spock or Picard teach Luke about learning a new skill? Get up and do it again until you can do it or find another way to do it.

49. Everybody is sick of your shit. Everybody, including you, is sick of your shit.

50. On the subject of Giving a Fuck: You either give too many fucks or you never have enough fucks to give. You need to practice, as the internet meme says, “moderate fuck distribution.” Ask yourself when you truly feel like you have zero fucks to give, are you completely out of fucks? Can you have a fuck debt, have a negative number of fucks? Or does something magical happen? Like a mint in the bottom of your purse, like loose change between seat cushions, like a potato chip under the fridge, there is always one more fuck to give. Like a free play token or an extra life in video game, one more fuck will magically appear. That one magical fuck will be dirty, hard, bitter, and broken, but it will be there when you need it. That one magical fuck can be saved or given as needed until you can replenish your regular supply of fucks.

BONUS CONTENT: I have more than 10 things to add to the list of 50 things.

Life is unpredictable. I don’t know if I’ll live another 10 years to continue the list, so I’m writing 10 Bonus Things. Everyone loves free bonus things!

51. “If I don’t do what my parents want, they will be mad at me.” WHAT? Did you just say the quiet part out loud? Every decision in your life is based on it! How can you be in the fifth decade of your life on this planet? Are you even an adult?

52. You can’t be needy if you don’t have needs. Meet your needs for yourself. No one else will. If there’s the slightest stink of neediness on you, people will abuse and reject you.

53. Don’t have expectations of others. Don’t engage in wishful thinking. Stop wanting people to demonstrate their feelings or care for you in the way you want. They won’t. It’s never going to happen. If you ask for what you want, then you are needy or attention-seeking. Accept what they offer as they give it, even if doesn’t meet your expectations, even if it’s nothing. That may be the only thing they can offer or the only way they know how to express it.

54. Most of being an adult is lying to everyone that everything is okay and that you are fine, when in reality your life is an unbearable mess, and you are not anywhere close to being okay.

55. Nothing you do is ever good enough for others. You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. It never changes.

56. “Use it or lose it.” You refused to believe it until you quit using it and you lost it. You don’t need to look in the mirror to see it. How does your body feel? Get up, girl, and use it.

57. No one gets out of here alive. Prepare for your death. Don’t leave the burden of your funeral plans, estate, and debts to your family, friends, or strangers. If you worked on projects or created things with other people, include it in your will. Your legacy, and that of others, literally could be thrown away. If you don’t tell people what you want, they will get it wrong. Then you’ll have to come back and haunt the fuck out of those people.

58. There’s no escaping your past, especially with family. They remember everything. Every obnoxious thing you did as a teenager. Every time you freaked out. Every time you had a bad day. Every mistake you made. Every mental health breakdown. It doesn’t matter how hard you work to change and overcome your problems. You’ll always be that past worst version in their minds, and they’ll hold it against you forever.

59. Your family is never going to forgive you for getting a degree in English. It’s always going to come down to their misperception that you are nitpicking and correcting them when you’re not. They’re going to throw it in your face like a glass of ice water.

60. Remember the “Litany Against Fear” from Dune. You memorized it when you were 15 years old. It still works.

[peakyblcnders]

𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑 𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄 || 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬

Pairing: James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Minerva McGonagall, Lily Evans, Mary MacDonald

Warning: Fluff [I suppose?]

Summary: The boys finally land on the perfect name for their group! And it’s all thanks to their favourite Professor.

A/N: I’m back. Finally. Happy New Year, Christmas. 2022!

“Alright, listen up.” James Potter plopped himself on a chair next to his best friend Sirius Black, as he studied with Remus Lupin. Across from them, Peter Pettigrew, Lily Evans and Mary MacDonald sat. “We need a name!” James exclaimed.

“A name?” Peter asked curiously.

“A name for a gang.” James explained. “I mean, people just call us the Gryffindor pranksters. It isn’t right.” He played with his fingers. Sirius closed his book and looked at his brother.

“Okay. What are you thinking?” Sirius questioned. Remus groaned, annoyed that his study session was being interrupted by James and Sirius’ conversation. He loved his friends. They’d accepted him for who he truly was but at times, they remained as stupid as the day he met them.

“Maybe The Gang?” James offered.

“Anyone have any suggestions that don’t suck like that name?” Sirius looked at his other friends. Mary shrugged, sketching in her book. Lily stopped writing and looked up.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t be bothered paying attention, and as soon as James opened his mouth I lost interest.” Lily defended herself. James faked shock but Sirius just shook his head.

“Focus, Evans. Name for the most amazing group of pranksters to ever roam Hogwarts’ halls.” Sirius said. Lily smiled cheekily.

“Why not Sirius and the three Idiots?” She responded. James stab his heart as if she’d broken it. Remus raised an eyebrow and Peter threw his hands up. “What did we do?” Peter complained.

“Sorry Pete.” Lily apologised. “How about The Gang?”

“That’s just what Prongs said!” Remus replied. “Honestly, Lil. You’re making it awfully hard to defend your case that you’d never end up with someone like him when all you do is the say the same things.” Lily shrugged and returned her attention to her potions notes.

“Okay, what about The Pranksters? Just take away Gryffindor and you’ve got yourselves a fine name.” Mary proudly said. Sirius didn’t want to break her heart.

But luckily he was saved…

“Mr Black, Mr Potter, keep your voices down. This is a library not your common room!” Professor McGonagall whisper-yelled at them. Sirius gave her a sheepish look but James just smirked. “You Marauders.” She groaned as she left.

“Marauders?” Peter questioned.

“Marauders comes from the word Maraud which means to go about in search of things, steal or to attack.” Remus explained patiently.

“It’s perfect!” James yelled excitedly. “The Marauders. That’s what we’ll go by.”

“But we don’t steal.” Sirius said.

“And we don’t attack people.” Peter added.

“We also don’t really go in search of things.” Remus continued.

“Who cares?” James sighed. “Before you explained the meaning of the word, Moony, no one knew what it meant.”

“I did!” Lily responded.

“But it sounds catchy!” James argued. “Come on, boys! The Marauders. The Marauders. Marauders.” James kept going, whispering it into Sirius, Remus and Peter’s ears until they finally gave in.

“Fine, fine, fine.” Remus threw his hands up. “Let’s just throw logic out of the window, why don’t we?”

“I’m sure logic can fly.” James laughed.

“And if it can’t?” Remus asked.

“It can try.” Sirius said, bored.

“Who needs logic anyway when you have pranks, Quidditch and maps?” James smiled. “And an awesomely catchy name such as The Marauders.”

“The Marauders.” All four boys whispered it.

“You aren’t going to spit in your hands and shake it now, are you?” Lily asked.

“Or cut your hands in a blood-oath?” Mary questioned.

“You’re really messed up, Mar.” James said.

“Not as much as someone who names their group something that doesn’t relate to them at all!” She whispered harshly.

“Boohoo.” James replied.

[syndromealice-blog]

Why Lily was a bad friend

I always read something like: Lily was a good girl, the best friend, but Snape was a Death Eater and he was obsessed.

I didn’t notice her like a character at all, she was more a neutral to me, because everyone said, that she was so good and so beautiful and so awesome. She was Harry’s mother and I understood that she is an important for Harry and to some people. But then I read The prince’s tale. Oh, well. How can I start? The first thing, that I didn’t like: she used Severus even they were a children. He told everything about Hogwarts and Wizarding World. I think that was a reason why she wanted to be his “friend”. Lily lived with her sister, who hated her and when Lily realized that she is a witch, she was happy, because now Lily has some privileges.

When Lily came to Hogwarts Express, there was a scene:

"You didn't think it was such a freak's school when you wrote to the headmaster and begged him to take you."

Petunia turned scarlet.

"Beg? I didn't beg!"

"I saw his reply. It was very kind."

"You shouldn't have read " whispered Petunia, "that was my private ¨how could you ?"

Lily gave herself away by half-glancing toward where Snape stood nearby. Petunia gasped.

"That boy found it! You and that boy have been sneaking in my room!"

"No" Now Lily was on the defensive. "Severus saw the envelope, and he couldn't believe a Muggle could have contacted Hogwarts, that's all!

Okay, now it seems, like she actually defense Severus, but no. She said, that Severus did that. Severus saw, Severus found... why? She defense herself, not Severus. I had the same situation in childhood and I defended my friend and said it was my fault. Lily literally enjoyed this moment, when she can show to her sister who is a muggle and who is a witch.

Then in Hogwarts:

"...thought we were supposed to be friends?" Snape was saying, "Best friends?"

"We are, Sev, but I don't like some of the people you're hanging round with! I'm sorry, but I detest Avery and Mulciber! Mulciber! What do you see in him, Sev, he's creepy! D'you know what he tried to do to Mary Macdonald the other day?"

Lily had reached a pillar and leaned against it, looking up into the thin, sallow face.

"That was nothing," said Snape. "It was a laugh, that's all"

"It was Dark Magic, and if you think that's funny "

Yeah, Lily, it was a dark magic, but why you wasn’t terrifying, what James and Sirius did to your “best friend”? Or you are so good and so kind only to rich boys? Or maybe you just didn’t care.

Severus asked a logical question:

"What about the stuff Potter and his mates get up to?" demanded Snape. His color rose again as he said it, unable, it seemed, to hold in his resentment.

"What's Potter got to do with anything?" said Lily.

Oh, my God. Of course, you don’t know.

"They sneak out at night. There's something weird about that Lupin. Where does he keep going?"

"He's ill," said Lily. "They say he's ill "

"Every month at the full moon?" said Snape.

"I know your theory," said Lily, and she sounded cold. "Why are you so obsessed with them anyway? Why do you care what they're doing at night?"

He is obsessed? No, Lily, you are obsessed with defense. They bullied him all years in Hogwarts. Of course Severus hate them, it’s a normal reaction. I know, people can say, that Lily was a child, but when I was a fifteen years old, I wasn’t so stupid.

"I'm just trying to show you they're not as wonderful as everyone seems to think they are."

The intensity of his gaze made her blush.

"They don't use Dark Magic, though." She dropped her voice. "And you're being really ungrateful. I heard what happened the other night. You went sneaking down that tunnel by the Whomping Willow, and James Potter saved you from whatever's down there.

“LILY, THEY TRIED TO KILL ME DOWN THERE”

They don’t use Dark Magic though

“LILY THIS MAN ON THE STREET TRYING TO RAPE A BABY”

He don’t use Dark Magic though

"I know James Potter's an arrogant toerag," she said, cutting across Snape. "I don't need you to tell me that. But Mulciber's and Avery's idea of humor is just evil. Evil, Sev. I don't understand how you can be friends with them."

A boy, who bully others not a bad, he is just a toerag. Mmmmmnmmmm

Then was a mudblood scene. She literally smiled, she didn’t help, she said: LeAvE hIm aLoNe. What? If my friend was hung upside down, I certainly wouldn't say leave him alone. I would curse the bully properly and go straight to the headmaster or at least to the teacher. Why Lily didn’t go to the headmaster or to the teachers earlier? She just didn’t care about Severus at all. Because I can’t explain, why fifteen years old girl, who sees every day, that James Potter bully her “best friend” and she does nothing. Then Severus called her a mudblood. I have one theory and I believe that’s a canon. Levicorpus was Severus’s spell. He created it. And why Lily had a successes in potions? I am sure, that Severus gave own book to her and she saw all spells. Levicorpus is non-verbal spell and no one can learn it just by hearing. So, Lily gave book to James. He read this spell and used it. If this is true (at least it seems logical), so Lily is a fucking piece of shit. She gave best friend’s book where were a hints to his bully.

Then Lily was angry and said:

Fine,' she said coolly. 'I won't bother in future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus.'

Later, when Severus try to apologize, she said:

To call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"

Yeah, girl. Like YOU, rich and beautiful human, said to poor, ugly friend wash your pants. It was a classism.

"It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends ¨ you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?"

Okay, if you already saw that he is so bad and awful, why you continued this “friendship” Why? Nobody actually forced you. Why? If he wasn’t good enough, just say: Sorry, but I think, I don’t want to be your friend anymore. That’s it. You literally can do this.

Three years later Lily was married with James, who was “ an arrogant toerag”. Hmmm, okay. Sirius and Remus said, that James didn’t bully anyone but Severus. Lily didn’t know about it. Sorry, I don’t believe.

Results:

Lily didn’t care about Severus and their “friendship”. She gaslighted him all the time. She saw how difficult was his childhood, she saw his abusive father and their life before school. She didn’t help when James bullied him. And no, saying LEAVE HIM ALONE is not a help. If she wanted to help, she did it. Lily used Severus in Potions, before school, when he told everything about Wizarding World and then she gave his book to his bully. She is not a friend. She is just a girl, who wanted something from Severus. And yes, everyone say: IT’S NOT HER JOB, HE BECAME TO A DEATH EATER AND USED DARK MAGIC. She knew that all the time. If this was a problem, she could leave. If she was terrified about death eaters shit, she could talk with him. She knew how difficult life he has. It’s not her job, that’s right. Or maybe she is just a shitty friend?

[lumosinlove]

Sweater Weather

part ix

Remus woke up to the sound of his phone ringing. It sounded much louder than it probably was from how startled he was. His head jerked up from the pillow, and he opened one eye against the light. He reached blindly and answered.

“Hello?” his voice cracked a little. He cleared it. “Sorry, hi?”

“Remus!” his little brother’s voice shouted in his ear. “Mom says we’re coming for Thanksgiving!”

“What—” Remus blinked hard, falling back on his side with the phone to his ear, “I—Hi, Jules, that’s great,” he looked at the clock and laughed a little, rubbing his eyes. It read 6:45 am. “You’re up early.”

“Yeah. Mom said—”

He was cut off, though, and Remus could hear his mom in the background. “Julian Lupin, I told you not to wake your brother up!”

“Tell her it’s okay,” Remus sighed. “That’s really awesome. I can’t wait.”

“Can’t wait for what?” said a sleepy-slow voice in his ear.

Remus’ eyes widened as a warm hand slid around his waist, and a bare chest pressed against his equally naked back. Remus realized that he was stark naked with Sirius Black in his bed and talking to his little brother on the phone.

Sirius began to say something else, in French this time, when Remus spun quickly in Sirius’ arms, feet twisting in the sheets, and pressed a hand over his mouth. Sirius, obviously not yet totally awake, just made a sleepy sound and kissed his palm, but said nothing further.

Julian, thank god, was more focused on yelling something to their mom.

“Sorry,” Julian said, sighing into the speaker. “Mum’s really mad I woke you.”

“Tell her it’s fine, really,” Remus said, heart going fuzzy as Sirius blinked up at him from his pillow and halo of dark hair. “But, um, Jules, do you mind if I call you back a little later?”

“Yeah!” Jules said brightly. “Can we FaceTime? I wanna show you, I learned this new thing in practice.”

“Sure, of course,” Remus said.

Sirius perked up a little and grabbed Remus’ wrist to move his hand away. Jules? he mouthed, and Remus nodded, pressing a single finger to his lips. Sirius kissed that, too.

“Okay. Bye, Re! Oh, can we go to another Lions game do you think soon? Next visit, maybe?”

Sirius gave him a thumbs up and Remus laughed.

“I think we can definitely swing something, yeah.”

That seemed to be the trick to getting him happily off the phone, and Remus made sure he had hung up before throwing it towards the end of the bed with a laugh.

“Jeez, sorry. Bit of a wake up call, and on your day off, too.”

“s’okay,” Sirius’ stretched, full body, back arching, sheet slipping dangerously low on his hips. Remus had none of the dream-like disillusions as the first time he’d woken up beside Sirius. Instead, he pressed his hand to Sirius’ warm chest and leaned over him for a kiss.

“Ca va?” Remus asked with a kiss to the corner of Sirius’ mouth.

Sirius cupped the back of Remus’ head and kissed him harder, tongue slipping into his mouth.

“So good,” he said, and Remus’ chest warmed. “The family’s coming for Thanksgiving, eh?”

“Looks like it,” Remus laughed, then kissed Sirius’ cheek. It still felt like a novel gesture, so overly casual. “I’ll miss you.”

Sirius sighed and let his head fall back on the pillows. “If I don’t return look for my body in my mother’s garden.”

Remus made a sympathetic noise, but he wasn’t sure how much more he could do. He only knew what everyone knew of Sirius’ home life—or thought they knew. He passed his hands through Sirius’ hair, pushing it off his forehead.

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. If you want to come over and eat my mom’s frankly perfect turkey dinner, you can. My dad will try to speak french with you and it will be horrible.”

Sirius laughed, a full, shaking one. “Want me to meet your parents? You like me that much?”

“Well, it’s like you said,” Remus leaned into him. “It’s been a long time coming on this end.”

“Mm,” Sirius hummed. He let Remus kiss his neck for a moment, then tapped his side. “What is frankly?”

Remus laughed and Sirius pinched him lightly. “Um. Huh,” Sirius played with a curl of Remus’ hair while he thought. “It’s like, obviously. Or, no, like…like hands down. Or fucking. Fucking perfect turkey dinner.”

“Ah, got it,” Sirius’ smile slowly turned down at the corners and he held Remus’ face gently in his hands. “My mother is not an—easy woman. My father’s not…he cares about hockey. That’s about it. I wish it was just something I could do.”

“I’m sorry. Mon chou.”

Sirius wrinkled his nose but laughed. “Cute.”

“It’s only for two days, anyway,” Remus said, pushing Sirius’ hair away from his face. “You’ll be back before you know it.” He pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Let me make you some breakfast, okay? Anything you want in particular?”

Sirius smiled sleepily at him, hands sliding down to the dip of Remus’ lower back. He thumbs moved gently across his skin. “You’re always so good to everyone. Which… Re, last night was…”

Remus felt his chest warm as Sirius shook his head, laughing softly as he pressed his lips to Remus’ temple.

“You’re kind,” Sirius said in a soft voice. “I feel good when I’m with you. You treat me like I’m…just myself.”

Remus placed his palm on Sirius’ chest and let him talk.

“I never thought I’d ever get to be with—anyone I actually wanted to be with.”

Remus watched his own fingers trace a pattern over Sirius’ collarbone. “So, all those girls…” He had a sudden flash of Sirius with his hand on some girl’s waist, chin tilted into their kiss.

Sirius laughed. “Those girls. They’re—fine.” Remus snorted and Sirius squeezed him closer. “I just mean…I know what they’re after, you know? A story to tell their friends, a good time. So, I kiss them, keep up appearances, and let them down gently.”

Remus sat up and stared at him. “You mean you never…”

Sirius scrunched his nose. “I did, in the beginning but…it’s exhausting, being someone you’re not. Especially in a setting like that, you know? Where there’s nowhere to hide.”

Remus nodded slowly, leaning into the knuckles that Sirius traced against his cheek. “I hated when you picked up girls.”

Sirius grinned. “Jealous?”

Remus raised an eyebrow, “Who’s calling who jealous?”

Sirius laughed and leaned forward for a quick kiss before falling back against Remus’ pillows with a groan and long stretch. Remus was still figuring out how to deal with a warm, stretched out Sirius Black in his bed.

“Mon dieu, I’m sore,” Sirius lifted one long, bare thigh up, throwing it across the backs of Remus’ legs. “Stretch me out, like at the rink.”

Sirius was already laughing halfway through the words, and then Remus was too, but he grabbed Sirius’ thigh anyway, pushing his knee back towards his chest.

“Aren’t I off duty?”

Sirius just made a noncommittal response and closed his eyes. Remus relaxed his leg and dug his fingers into the part of Sirius’ hip flexor that he knew tightened up a lot.

“I was joking, Re,” Sirius’ smile was soft, but he let out a breath as Remus’ fingers worked.

“We have a big roadie coming up after the break, and you’re nice and relaxed right now. The perfect time for some extra attention.”

Sirius laughed, staring up at the ceiling and letting Remus smooth his hands over the sensitive strip of skin that Remus had never touched bare before. It was soft and slightly paler than the rest of Sirius’ body, like it never saw sun. Remus liked that idea, that he was touching something that nobody, not even the sun, got to touch.

“Besides,” Remus said, in a quieter voice. “I like touching you.” He glanced up when he felt Sirius’ eyes on him. “It’s pretty surreal, after…you know. All this time.”

Sirius turned his head, but didn’t raise it off the pillows. His dark hair curled, like a halo around his head on the white pillowcase. Sirius reached forward and tangled their fingers together in the air before pulling forward with his hand until Remus had to lay against his chest. Sirius pressed the back of Remus’ palm against his mouth.

“It’s only a few days,” he said, as if he was trying to convince himself.

Remus nodded. “Only a few days.”

~

Remus had a spray bottle in one hand and a towel in the other, deep-cleaning his apartment when his phone began ringing, interrupting his music.

He answered it with his headphones without looking, assuming it was his mother telling him they had landed.

“Hey mom, okay flight?”

“Would your mother tell you she likes the way you look when you come?”

Remus coughed out a surprised laugh, and he could almost picture Sirius’ smile on the other end of the line.

“No,” Remus said. “No, she certainly wouldn’t. Are you at the airport, too?”

“Yep,” Sirius sighed. “Kill me.”

“Mm,” Remus said, spraying down his kitchen counter. “Life in the airport lounge, waiting for your father’s private jet must be hard.”

Sirius laughed dryly.

“I’m kidding,” Remus said softer. “I wish you were here.”

“I’ve had five bags of pretzels. That’s how stressed I am.”

“Aw, ba—um,” Remus set the spray bottle down hard. “I—sorry. Aw.”

“Did you just almost call me babe?”

“No,” Remus said, pressing his palm over his eyes. Then, after a pause, “No, I almost called you baby.”

Sirius was silent on the other end of the line. Remus listened to the sound of flights being announced in the background and Sirius’ breathing for a moment.

“That’s…” Sirius said finally, clearing his throat a little. “That’s good.”

“Good?” Remus asked carefully.

Sirius laughed, “I’m not exactly used to pet-names, Remus. It’s—it’s not a bad change.”

Remus’ heart pulled a little. “Oh. Well, okay, then.”

“Hey,” Sirius’ voice was soft through the speakers. “You going to keep me company at night while I’m away?”

“Not only will I do that,” Remus said, turning to lean against the counter. “But I will save you the best leftovers you will ever eat.”

“Pre-game meal worthy?”

“You know it, baby.”

Sirius’ laugh was loud and bright in his ear and Remus grinned at having encouraged such a sound.

“I can’t wait. I’ll text you when I land, eh?”

“Don’t forget,” Remus said. “Text me whenever you want.”

“It’ll let you know that I’m still alive. Remember, my body. My mother’s garden.”

Remus tightened his grip on the phone. “You’ll be back on the ice soon.”

Sirius let out a long sigh into the speaker. “I will. I’ll be back with the team. I’ll be back with you.”

Remus smiled and knew it showed in his voice. “Have a safe flight, okay?”

“Okay,” Sirius said wistfully. “Bye, Loops.”

~

Remus had his own ideas about Sirius’ family, but they did nothing to prepare him for the tight, pure unhappiness littering Sirius’ voice when he called that night. Remus’ parents and Julian had left about a half hour ago, tired from their flight in, and Remus had been sitting on the couch, pretending to watch TV and waiting for Sirius’ call. He answered on the first ring.

“Hey,” he said, rubbing a hand over his face at how eager he sounded.

“Hi,” Sirius’ voice crackled through the phone, the greeting clipped. Remus thought he heard a door shut from Sirius’ end, like Sirius hadn’t even waited to fully get to his room to dial the phone.

“How’d it go?” Remus asked quieter this time.

He was answered with a groan, and a rustling that sounded like Sirius falling back onto a bed. “It’s…the same. It’s nice to have Regulus playing in the NHL. Takes some of the time away from talking about me.” Sirius groaned. “Why did I come a day early. I wish I had come tomorrow, had one family dinner, and then just flew out the next morning as planned.”

Remus pulled his knees up to his chest, tucking himself into one corner of the couch. “Fuck, Pads, I’m sorry.”

“What can I do, eh? It’s fine.”

Remus frowned, unsettled by the hints of that old, cold tone that Sirius used to carry around when they’d first met. Less than five hours with his family, and already he was shutting himself back down, containing all remnants of his usual self.

“Miss you,” Remus said softly. He wanted to comfort Sirius, but he didn’t want to cross any lines either. They were so new, and he wasn’t sure what he was allowed.

“Remus, you have no idea,” another heavy sigh broke up Sirius’ words. “How much I miss you.”

Remus sprawled out on the couch with a sigh of his own, listening to Sirius breathe on the other side of the phone. Never something he’d thought he’d be doing.

“How’s my favorite super fan?” Sirius asked after a few moments.

Remus raised an eyebrow. “I really hope you aren’t calling me that.”

Sirius laughed. “Julian.”

“Oh,” Remus smiled. “Unknowingly dying that you’re asking. He’s good. He loves hockey, but that means he’d rather be on the ice than do any of his school work which is posing a little bit of problem for my parents but…you know. It’s cute. If he loves it, he should work hard.”

Sirius hummed. “Yeah, I think so.”

“I mean, grades, and all that, but…”

“Hockey,” Sirius said wistfully and Remus laughed, agreeing.

Remus could practically feel Sirius rubbing his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose, and so, after a few moments of silence, he asked again, with one addition that he hoped would break the ice that, Remus was quickly learning, Sirius allowed to freeze over when he was around his parents for too long.

“How’d it go, baby?” Remus said quietly into the phone.

Sirius made a low, wounded noise. “Re.”

“I get it if you feel like you can’t talk about it while you’re there.”

Sirius was quiet again. Remus was learning that that was also something he did. He liked it, how careful Sirius was about collecting his thoughts. Like everything he said mattered. Then again, Remus didn’t know how he felt about what in his life could have led to that. The immense media pressure, probably, and everything he said being constantly taken completely out of context.

“I…” Sirius’ began, then stopped. “I can’t.”

Remus nodded, heart squeezing. “Okay. That’s fine, of course, Sirius.”

“No,” Sirius said, voice almost a whisper. “What about—Would you say…again.”

Remus squinted a little, confused. What had he said? And then, he realized.

“It’s alright,” he said, biting his lip. “It’s alright, baby.”

Sirius laughed and it shook a little. “Is that so stupid?”

“No. God, no,” Remus said all in one breath.

“I want to find something to call you,” Sirius said, and then there was a sound like he was rolling over. The next time he spoke, his voice was muffled slightly by pillows. “Something good.”

Remus smiled. “Something in French.”

“If you want.”

“Honestly, I…I really like Loops.”

“Yeah?”

Remus nodded. “Yeah. It makes me, you know.” Remus cleared his throat. “Feel like I’m part of the team.” When Sirius started to protest Remus held up his hand, as if Sirius could see him. “I know, I know, I am. But still. It’s a nice reminder.”

Sirius hummed. “I still want something that’s…just for me.”

Remus’ entire body went warm.

“You call me…” Sirius began.

“Baby,” Remus said breathlessly.

“You’re the only one,” Sirius’ voice was like heat running down Remus’ spine. “I want to be the only one.”

You are, Remus wanted to say. Sometimes it feels like you always have been.

But that was insane.

“Re,” Sirius questioned.

“Sorry, I’m here.”

“Do you…we can FaceTime?”

Remus was hitting the video call feature before he took his next breath. Sirius’ face appeared on the screen, smiling but a little tight around the eyes. Remus wanted to fix it. He wanted to fix it right now.

“Hi,” Sirius said.

“Hi,” Remus said.

They stared at each other, and then Remus swallowed, working up the nerve.

“I…I was thinking about going into the bedroom.”

One corner of Sirius’ mouth quirked up. “I’m already in bed. Catch up, Fruit-Loop.”

Remus couldn’t help the laugh that escaped, a little too giddily for his liking, as he pushed himself off the couch to pad into his bedroom. He crawled onto his bed and, on next looking down at his phone, Sirius was sprawled against the pillows—sans shirt.

“Fuck me,” Remus mumbled, falling back against his pillows. He could feel the anticipation of it all beginning to harden him in his pants and he reached down to squeeze himself through his sweatpants lightly.

Sirius’ eyes were dark and his tongue darted out to wet his lips. “Montre moi.”

A shiver ran down Remus’ spine. Show me.

Remus squeezed himself again, and then held his phone back so Sirius could see the shape of his dick beginning to press itself against the seam of his sweatpants. He ran his hand along his shaft through the fabric a few times and cupped his balls, beginning to draw up. Sirius let out a shaky breath at the sight and Remus could hear a rustling like he was beginning to play with himself, too. Remus could picture the way Sirius’ nimble, calloused fingers wrapped around himself, the width of his palms. Perfect for scoring goals. Perfect for this.

“I wish you could touch me,” Remus said without thinking, and then flushed.

“I’ll tell you how I would,” Sirius said.

“Show me you first,” Remus said. “I need to see.”

Sirius held his phone back, too, resting it on one of his strong thighs before unbuckling his belt and the dark jeans he was wearing.

“Pads, your jeans. Where the fuck do you keep those all season?”

Sirius laughed, but Remus was soon too distracted for an answer. Sirius was reaching up for the band of his boxers before hooking them below his balls to reveal his semi. He rolled himself in his hand, big even while soft.

“Huh,” Remus’ breath punched out of him and he felt his dick twitch up against his palm.

“Remus,” Sirius said as he gave himself lazy strokes, filling out rapidly.

“Hm?”

“Take your dick out of your pants and make yourself hard.”

Remus couldn’t help but smile. “Well, that’s a familiar tone of voice. Captain.”

Sirius smiled, too, fingers coming to rest around the base of his dick, almost at full mast. The vein was beginning to trace itself out on the underside, and Remus was determined to get him there. He wished he could feel his heartbeat.

Remus complied, shoving his sweats and underwear down to his thighs and then dragging a palm up the length of himself. He didn’t usually get hard so fast, but he already felt sensitive. His dick bobbed in the air a few times.

“Fuck,” Sirius’ voice came lowly through the speakers. “Yeah, Loops, just like that.”

Remus reached over to his bedside table and retrieved a bottle of lube, propping Sirius up on a pillow to take a little into his hand. His grip turned into a slick glide and he let his head fall back in the pillows. Having both of his hands free let him cup one hand around his balls and he spread his thighs a little at how good it felt with Sirius right there.

“You looks so good, Re, mon dieu. Fuck, you don’t even—I bet no one on the team even knows how strong you are under that fucking team jacket. Do you use the team gym?”

Remus let out a breathless laugh, holding his dick around the base and rolling his head to the side to look at Sirius. “That’s what you’re wondering right now, you hockey nerd.”

A faint blush rose to Sirius’ cheeks. “You look so good. You look…God, come out onto the ice to me when I’m home. Fuck, I know you’re good. I can tell by the way you fucking move.” As he spoke, Sirius’ hand began to stroke his dick again. He was hard now, and the tip of his cock was shiny with precome. It was then that Remus remembered just how much of that precome there would be. The thought made him groan and he was suddenly blindingly turned on at the thought of Sirius, just on the other side of the screen, watching him.

“Do that thing you like, Re,” Sirius panted. “The thing on the top.”

“How do you know that?” Remus said. “You’ve seen my dick once.”

“Watching you,” Sirius said simply, and then made a little punched out sound. “Fuck, I never thought I’d get to…”

Remus answered his sound, hips shoving up into his own fist of his own accord.

“Shit,” Sirius murmured, “Remus, Remus…”

Remus pried his eyes open and looked to Sirius, who was already looking at him. His eyes were fixed on the screen, and the camera blurred his fist around himself, but that didn’t stop Remus from seeing the shine dripping on his fingers.

“Do you know how fucking hot that is? It’s like you just—fuck, you’re not coming but you just…”

“Embarrassing, though,” Sirius smiled a little before his mouth dropped open. “Not good for boners at the wrong time. Leak all over my pants.”

“Jesus,” Remus panted, and rubbed his palm over the crown of his dick.

“There you go,” Sirius sounded out of breath and smug. “I was right.”

Remus could only grunt in response.

“Come on, Loops,” Sirius said. “Tighter, make yourself come. Imagine…” Sirius’ voice broke off, and he sounded almost nervous when he began again. “Imagine I—Imagine I’d let you fuck me.”

Remus’ eyes, fallen closed, snapped open. He felt his dick fatten in his hand, red and drooling.

“Sirius…”

“I want that,” Sirius said softly. “If—if you don’t—”

“Yes,” Remus gasped, hand working himself faster. He reached down again to squeeze his balls, heavy now. “Fuck, baby, yes, yes, yes—“

With those words, Remus watched Sirius fall apart, coming in thick strips against his stomach. Sirius cut his own cry off with gritted teeth, his hips flexing up as he worked himself through it, coming and coming.

The sight was enough. Remus’ orgasm hit him hard, made his head heavy against his pillow as his dick pulsed in his hand. His chest heaved and he was faintly aware of Sirius murmuring gently in French as he came down from his high.

Remus caught his breath and looked down at the dark stains on his sweatshirt, and then at Sirius—who looked dazed and sated.

“Fuck,” Sirius laughed, and it was accompanied by his bright smile, the tightness erased. Remus felt pride swell in his chest.

“Better?” Remus smiled.

“Yeah. Lots.”

“Do you…” Remus licked his lips. “Did you mean that? Do you really want that?”

Sirius flushed, but nodded. “I mean,” he ran a hand through his hair, slightly sweaty now so that parts of it stuck up off of his forehead. “I’d be fine with it both ways, honestly. Like—so fine. I mean, Re, I’ve never even…But I want you.”

Remus bit his lip against his smile. “I wish you were here. I’d…any time you want.”

Sirius’ smile turned a little shy, but he had the very same excited look in his eye that he sometimes had before a game.

After they cleaned themselves up, Remus brought his phone into the bathroom to brush his teeth. Sirius made him laugh and drool toothpaste everywhere, but it was worth it just to get to watch Sirius, butt naked, root around in his suitcase for his pajamas.

“Wait,” Remus said as he flicked the bathroom light off. “Is this your childhood room I’m seeing?”

Sirius had set his phone down for a moment to pull his sweatpants on and he laughed before giving Remus a glance around. Remus frowned.

“That looks…”

Sirius crawled into bed, raising his eyebrows at Remus. “Like a hotel room?”

“Yes…a really expensive one.” Remus followed Sirius, badly wishing he was pulling back the covers for the both of them.

“I can’t believe I have this fucking…” Sirius broke off in a yawn, rubbing his eyes. “Fucking dinner tomorrow. I mean Reg will barely look at me, I just…” he shook his head. “I don’t want to just dump this on you.”

“No, no,” Remus said, folding one hand beneath his pillow so it was almost, almost like they were on their sides facing each other. “Pads. You can talk to me.”

Sirius closed his eyes. “No, this was a good night—”

“The only way this could be a bad night is if you go to sleep upset. I hate seeing you hurting, Sirius.”

Sirius smiled a little, but it soon dropped off his face as he stared, eyes a little unfocused. “I never really talk about it. Not to anyone except, you know, therapy. Where I know it won’t get out.”

“Not even to James?” Remus prompted gently, and Sirius shook his head.

“No. I don’t—It’s not an excuse. Plenty of people go through so much worse than a slap around now and then—”

Sirius cut off shortly at Remus’ harsh intake of breath. His gray eyes flicked downward, then back to Remus’ face.

“I thought you knew. The…the phone call in the lounge…”

“I…” Remus swallowed. “I did, I think. I just—to hear you really say it is… That isn’t an excuse. Pads, you…I mean you’re so strong. Think about that. You found help. On your own. That’s twenty times more than a lot of people can say.”

Sirius nodded, picking at the thread on the mattress. “Heather says I have a bad habit of ���belittling myself,’” Sirius smiled a little. “Like, my problems. I mean, I get hit in hockey all the time. I know, I know that’s different. But it doesn’t always feel different.”

“And Regulus, does he…”

“No. He doesn’t disobey them. Guess he saw the consequences and got the thought through his head earlier than I did.”

Sirius was quiet for a moment, and then a firm, determined look crossed his face. “I wouldn’t trade places with him though. I wouldn’t give up the Lions for anything.”

“What do you mean give up the Lions? Your parents asked you to give up the Lions?”

“They wanted me to get a trade after my rookie year,” Sirius nodded. “My dad played for the Snakes. His career was ended by Godric, you remember. Leo Godric, number 4. It was an accident, but, you know…one wrong hit and you’re done. That’s what happened to my dad and his back. He’s never forgiven the organization for not kicking Godric out of the league.”

Remus could imagine that. Along with Mr. Black’s harsh face. Godric was a hero in Gryffindor, one of their best.

“My mom,” Sirius said, then took a breath like the words were pouring out of him too fast. “My mom saw it that way, too. They put all this work, all this money into making me a good player—”

“You’re the best player,” Remus broke in. “The best, Sirius.”

A sad sort of smile crossed Sirius’ face. “Not if I’m on the Lions. Then I’m just another trader to them.”

“That’s why,” Remus realized, feeling breathless. “That’s why…in the beginning…”

Remus thought of Sirius’ hunched shoulders, his carefully blank face, his cold looks.

Sirius nodded again. “Why make friends if you’re just going to have to leave them? No matter how incredible they seem? My mom—my mom was calling me everyday, saying—making these threats…Dad’d come down to my house and just…well, you know. It’s easy to play off bruises in a locker room.”

Remus shivered at the thought. All the times he’d worked with Sirius, all the times he’d seen various, ugly dark splotches on his ribs and shoulders.

“But you refused,” Remus said, gripping the phone like, through it, he could hold Sirius close. “You refused the trade.”

“I did.”

“Fuck,” Remus rested his cheek against his pillow, not realizing how tense his shoulders had become. “And no one knows?”

“You do, now.”

“Sirius…god, that’s—the Lions Organization—“

“They know, but only because my mother came and,” Sirius laughed bitterly, rubbing his eyes again. “She came and did what she always does. Coach helped me send her away so, I guess he knows, too. At least a little. He didn’t actually make me talk about it.”

Remus didn’t know what to say, only, “I wish you were here. I’d kiss the hell out of you.”

“I’d probably just…shit, what is the word for when ice cream…”

Remus raised an eyebrow, heart beating a little faster. “I…melt?”

“Yes!” Sirius smiled, looking a little brighter. As if his story had lightened him. “I’d melt. I like to kiss you.”

“That…” Remus could only grin back. “Baby.”

Sirius smiled back at him for a moment before he reached out, as if to touch the screen. “We should get some sleep. What is it, now, three? Big day tomorrow, lots of eating. Lots of family. A good family for you. You have to tell Julian I say hi.”

Remus nodded. He would give anything to just be spending the day with Sirius tomorrow, in their sweatpants and keeping an eye on a roasting turkey.

“Yeah,” Remus whispered. “Goodnight, Pads. See you soon, eh?”

“Yeah,” Sirius whispered back. “Re…” he began, but shook his head, as if he didn’t have the words. But Remus knew. “Goodnight.”

~

The first Remus heard of it was an email from Lions Management. It had been sent out to all of the training and equipment staff, something vague about not talking to reporters. Remus really got the news from twitter.

#BlackBash was trending. And attached to all of the tweets was a video which thumbnail was, at first he thought of Sirius, but then he recognized Regulus Black’s face. It must have been from before the short Thanksgiving break because he was in Snake green in his locker room. Remus held his breath, hand pressed to his throat, as he hit play.

“Regulus,” a reporter’s voice came through faintly from off frame, “Do you have any comments on the rivalry being set up between you and your brother? Does it get in the way of your personal relationship with Sirius at all, being on the Lions and Snakes?”

Regulus didn’t answer for a moment. He seemed like he was trying to play off his hesitation by wiping his face with a towel. But then his eyes, gray-blue like his brother’s, flicked somewhere off camera. His face regained all the sharpness that it had had on the ice.

“My brother’s got a dirty game, slashing and all of that. And you’ve heard him on the ice. I don’t endorse that sort of hockey.”

“And your personal relationship? How about this Thanksgiving—”

“What personal relationship?” Regulus said, eyes dull and casual. “As far as I’m concerned, he might as well stay away with the rest of his pack of cubs.”

Remus stared at the screen. He watched it again. Then again.

It was just—strange. This type of personal attack, especially to locker room media, where you’d be surrounded by staff and teammates. It caused a horrible feeling to sweep through Remus’ chest. At the end of the video, he could just see Snape there, sitting down in his stall beside Regulus’.

He was laughing.

Sirius wasn’t answering his phone.

He was on the plane, Remus tried to tell himself. But he hadn’t even received a good morning text.

He did the next thing he could think of.

The phone rang once before clicking on.

“I’m not reaching him either,” James’ voice said, sounding tight with worry. “This is—fuck, Loops. This isn’t good for him right now.”

He tried Pascal next.

“Remus,” he answered the phone sounding grave. “Good of you to call.”

“That reporter goaded him on but…fuck. What the fuck?” Remus ran a hand through his hair. “Has Sirius called you?”

“I can’t think I’d be above James—”

“I’ve tried James.”

“—and you,” Pascal finished, and Remus blinked.

“Me?” he said.

He could almost feel Pascal’s dark eyebrows raise. “You are friends, non?”

“I…Yeah,” Remus stuttered, feeling his face heat at how jumpy he sounded. “Yeah, no, we are. Just, let me know, if you…”

“Of course, Remus.”

“Thanks, Dumo.”

Remus tried Sirius again, and then a third time when he knew he couldn’t be on the plane anymore. He couldn’t decide if he was more frantic from not hearing from him, or happy that maybe Sirius was trying to keep away from it all. That had to be the healthiest option, even if it was making Remus feel a little insane. He sat down, then stood up again. He watched the video and then threw his phone on the other end of the couch, only to pick it up again.

He was just thinking about catching a cab out to Sirius’ house, when there was a brisk knock on his door.

(A/N: Happy May xx)

[asiriuscrushonmoonyx]

001. Bartylus 002. Regulus Black 003. Regulus Black, Barty Crouch Jr., Remus Lupin, James Potter and Sirius Black 🥰

Ahh so much!! Thank you 🥰

001 - Bartylus

When I started shipping it if I did: I probably started shipping it hardcore around 2017/2018? I’d written a few fics of them before but I started a new blog called marauderbloggers and that’s when my characterisations of Reg and Barty became more solid in my mind and I just fell in love with the pairing.

My thoughts: With these two characters, there’s so much we don’t know about them. So I always base my thoughts on them on my own characterisations of them — I know a lot of people write Reg and Barty completely different to me but I’ll go on how I write them. I think they are just perfect together. Best friends to lovers. It’s just an unconditional love that is so powerful and precious and gives me all the feels!!

What makes me happy about them: The way they bring out the best in each other. Regulus finds himself smiling with Barty, which is something special because the smol bean doesn’t have much to smile about. And Reg keeps Barty grounded and calm because he can be a bit chaotic at times. They’re best friends so they literally know each other back to front, and know what the other needs without speaking a word. And it’s adorable 😍

What makes me sad about them: Canon events I guess. If I’m sticking to canon I hc the idea of Reg becoming a death eater due to pressure from his parents and Barty joining with him because 1) it’ll piss off his disgusting abusive dad, and 2) because he doesn’t want Reg to go through it alone. But Barty gets kinda drawn into it and starts enjoying being a death eater whereas Reg knows he’s made a huge mistake. And after Barty kills someone and Reg realised Barty is okay with that, he hates himself for turning Barty into this person, he feels guilty and heartbroken, and he goes to that cave to get the locket in hope that he can stop Voldemort primarily so he can save the man he loves from becoming someone he doesn’t recognise. And obviously, Reg dies. And. Ugh. I wrote a short fic about this actually — let me know if you wanna read.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: Nothing really. Bartylus isn’t really a common ship and I tend not to read much because of the characterisations being different from what I’d imagine. I guess if I had to pick something it would be when people make Snape their friend. Just nope. Also I really find it weird when people make them different houses or different ages. I love them being best friends and Slytherin dorm-mates. It’s a huge part of my characterisations for them.

Things I look for in fanfic: I mean, them both being smol beans?? That need to be protected??? At all costs???

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: Regulus with James and Barty with Antonin. But only if both those pairings happen. I would hate if only one happened but the other didn’t and then one part of my OTP is left alone while the other is with someone else 😭

My happily ever after for them: Them running away together after Hogwarts - Reg away from his horrible family, Barty away from his awful dad — and them just being able to be together. Reg becomes a magizoologist and they get a pet niffler because Reg has always wanted one, they get married and adopt kids and Barty loves being a stay-at-home dad because he can teach his kids all the nerdy things he loves and its just so cute and so different from the way they were raised and they’re just truly happy.

Who is the big spoon/little spoon: They switch. It depends who needs to be cuddled on a particular day.

What is their favourite non-sexual activity: Watching movies together. The day they (two pureblood wizards) discover the awesomness that is a movie is the day they decide they will watch movies together forever. Also they really love to cuddle while watching movies.

..

002 - Regulus Black

How I feel about this character: He is the smolest bean in the world, I love him so so so much. I can literally talk about him forever he’s so precious.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Barty, Sirius and James.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: I love the idea of him becoming friends with Remus, probably through prefect meetings. I feel they have a lot in common and they’d get on really well. Also, Kreacher! His only friend before he got to Hogwarts.

My unpopular opinion about this character: I believe I mentioned this in the ship one above but, when people make him friends with Snape. Ugh. I hate it so much. I’m so sorry, I’m not a Snape person.

One thing I wish would have happened to this character in canon: That he hadn’t died so young, poor baby. That he’d had a happier life. That Sirius knew he died a hero. Ugh.

My OTP: Bartylus, obviously 💚

My crossover ship: I don’t think I have one. Oh okay maybe Reg/Tommen Baratheon. They’re both smol.

A headcanon fact: Reg loves cats. And writing in his diery diary. Check out my other blog @regulusblacksdiery for hundreds of posts of pure headcanon facts on young Reg 😂

..

003 - Regulus Black, Barty Crouch Jr, Remus Lupin, James Potter & Sirius Black

I’ll rank them from 1-5 (1 being my favourite and 5 being least favourite) — you’ve actually picked my top 5 characters 😂😂

1. Barty Crouch Jr

2. Regulus Black

3. Sirius Black

4. James Potter

5. Remus Lupin (aww sorry someone had to be last)

[batgirl-87]

Hey! I love your last ask, the questions are really well thought and I'm curious about 12, 16, 17, 18 and 19 👀if you want 💜

Thank you so much for asking! Sorry it took me so long to answer! Life happens -_-

From this ask

12. What was MC’s reaction learning Bill and Charlie’s little sister went missing her First year? 

Physically restraining her and holding her back from storming into Hogwarts and causing a RIOT! She will find poor Ginny probably trapped in some damn Vault again! CURSE THESE VAULTS - oh wait a minute....

But wait, why didn’t every single Weasley, all the older protective brothers storm into Hogwarts to find their little sister? Did they not find out until later?! Did Percy, Fred, George, and Ron just neglect to inform Bill and Charlie that Ginny was missing until found? Prove they could handle it? Or did Bill and Charlie believe in the rest of their siblings that they could handle it and trust them...Nah, big brothers would storm in and find her. They’d be damned if they just sat around and waited for her to be found!

Assuming they all did not learn until afterwards, still would have to hold her back from storming into Hogwarts, most likely to no avail. Some going off on Ron and the rest of the brothers - Why are they only finding out about this now?! Yes, they handled it and got her back BUT STILL kind of a BIG thing to hide from your family! And then of course storming into Dumbledore’s office and going off yet again to which he is probably very used to at this point. A FIRST YEAR GOES MISSING AND WTF DO YOU DO?! THIS IS THE VAULTS AND BEATRICE ALL OVER AGAIN! WATCH YOURSELF OLD MAN! Going to shave that damn beard off, tie it into a noose and - Yeah, she’s not going to be very happy.

And of course once she gets all her anger out, she’ll ask Ginny if she’s okay and check with how she’s doing. And if they did find out while she was missing and Bill and Charlie somehow decided to allow their brothers to handle it and get Keira to calm tf down and not go storming back to Hogwarts (idk how tbh =p) she would be caring and comforting towards them, ask them how they’re doing, if they need anything, if there’s anything she can do, what they’ve heard - and also just do little things to reduce any stress she can. Look she cooked or got them food! And cleaned! Let’s go look at the baby dragons! You’re hair is looking fabulous today - I mean, it always looks good, but today extra bouncy.

16. What was MC’s reaction to Tonks getting married and having a child?

I’m sorry, she’s marrying who now? Remus? Like...Keira’s Uncle Remus? Secret Werewolf Remus? Her anam cara Remus?! HER COUSIN AND UNCLE WTF - well obviously they’re not related BUT STILL THEY’RE HER FAMILY!

She’s going to need a moment.

SHE’S PREGNANT?! THEY - She’s going to need several moments...Clearly this is a lot for her to process on many different levels. She may have malfunctioned for a moment.

But once she processes things - also the fact that imagining Tonks married and a mom, like that’s so grown up and mature and it’s a little difficult to wrap her head around Tonks as a wife and mother instead of the rebellious punk prankster with colorful hair - alright, she’s going to make an awesome mom, that’s not the point. The point is, again, it just seems like such a grown up thing and Keira doesn’t even see herself really as a grown up =p She still see her and Tonks as teenage cousins getting into shenanigans, even as technically adults, rebelling against the system a bit and stirring some things up in their careers. Getting married and having a kid - wow.... are they getting old? Existential crisis time!

BUT then! They both deserve to be happy. If anyone deserves to be happy it’s Remus Lupin. And they make each other happy. And she fully accepts him and loves him as he is, Werewolf and all. Of course she would, she’s not a judgemental person! They’re happy and in love and that’s all Keira wants for them, to be happy and loved. And once she gets over the weirdness they’re adorable... and then it get’s a little weird again... but still cute...but weird... Hugging is fine, a little peck but so help her if a kiss lasts too long SHE CAN’T! Got to go, cannot see this, do not want to see this - HER EYES! =p

OH! And if you think they’re sneaking off to get married without her there HAHAHAHA THEY ARE SORELY MISTAKEN! If you don’t think Keira and Jacob (and Sirius because no I can’t let him die I JUST CAN’T) don’t come strutting in with Back in Black playing in the background to be the best man and woman/maid and man of honor - whatever - right before they take their vows, confused as to how they found out and found them then you are wrong. So very wrong! One might even officiate, who knows! Getting married without them HA! Nice try. 

17. What are MC’s opinions on the Golden Trio and the happenings at Hogwarts after they left?

Ron - Aww little Ronny! Look at him growing up, he’s getting so big now! She remembers when he was little! 

There’s a lot of affectionate teasing and reminiscing of embarrassing childhood stories that Keira feels maybe his friends need to hear =p A lot of messing with his hair and forcing him into tight hugs that again may embarrass him. Honestly, he views her as his older sister. He pretty much grew up with her or hearing about her from Bill, Charlie, even Percy and the Twins. She would come to visit and she’s very close with his two eldest brothers, even working with Bill, and every time she’s around him she treats him like her little brother. She’s been a big part of his life for most of what he can remember. He grew up hearing stories about her adventures at Hogwarts with his brothers so he should have been better prepared honestly for everything he had to deal with when he attended.

I’m sure he tried to brag even about her. “Yeah, my brother Bill is a Curse Breaker and his partner is Keira Black - yeah, the one who dealt with all the cursed vaults here - allegedly...” “My brother Charlie works with dragons but he could have gone on to play Quidditch professionally. Actually, his girlfriend - fiance? Unofficial wife? - played in the World Cup. And won. She could have played professionally too.” *insert Oliver Wood fangirling over Charlie and Keira’s Quidditch skills and how skilled their children would be!* “My big brothers and their friends would sneak into the Forbidden Forest all the time.” - but he doesn’t want to do that necessarily =p

But then after all his bragging when she’d actually appear and he’d get all embarrassed and wouldn’t want his friends to meet her because she just embarrassed him =p Sure Bill and Charlie partook in this as well. Likes to brag about his cool older siblings but no one actually meet them because they’ll embarrass them. Also they’re all giant dorks. Bill and Charlie smashing tables into each other when they’re supposed to be setting up for the wedding? All of them obsessed with their hair in some way. 

“Bill, remember that time you were obsessed with Emily Tyler and you had to ask ME to ask her out for you because you were too afraid!” - Some brave Curse-Breaker he is. 

“Well, remember when you dunked yourself into the courtyard fountain in the middle of the day? Then you were stuck with soaking clothes for the rest of classes that day. Everybody thought you were mad. Definitely looked mad.”

But she and Charlie were definitely the first people Ron thought of to help get Norbert safely out of Hogwarts, specifically her to get Norbert to Charlie if he couldn’t make it himself.

“Remember when you came into the Prefect’s bathroom and dove into my bath and Charlie walked in - he was so upset!” - Which would then lead to a series of embarrassing stories of Charlie because he foolishly thought being quiet and not sharing stories back and forth as Keira and Bill were would somehow save him from this but nope. Ron can’t have his friends hearing all these stories about them after bragging about them to his friends! Humiliating.

Hermione - She should be in Ravenclaw. She’s so smart and her hair is amazing. She should be the chosen one. Are we sure she’s really not? Thank Merlin for her because without her Ron and Harry would be doomed! I think there’s mutual respect between the girls.

Harry - Ohhhhh the special chosen one... Isn’t he so great and amazing -_-

Oh is there some bitterness and animosity from Keira towards Harry. She went through so much hell at school, broke all these curses to save people only to get punished and reprimanded by teachers and other adults, and had nasty rumours spread about her around school from the students, called cursed herself - no one appreciated all she did for them and that school! All the sacrifices and people she lost!

But Harry freakin’ Potter here basically gets a parade everywhere he goes and can do no wrong - HONESTLY. He caught the Golden Snitch in his mouth and won the game - she literally won the World Cup. Guess who got more praise and admiration. Dumbledore clearly favoring Harry when Keira feels he was not really on her side or supported her much. 

Now, she gets it, he didn’t ask for this - but she didn’t ask for her role either that was thrust upon her but at least he gets love for his while she was shunned. 

It’s an interesting dynamic where she can definitely empathize with his situation, having this responsibility thrust on him he didn’t ask for and constantly fighting of his and his friend’s lives, not wanting to put his friend’s at risk, being so confused about wtf is going on - she’s been there, she gets it. And when Ron requests her to give Harry some advice and help him out because he needs it and she’s the only one really who understands she agrees - mainly for Ron and his little puppy dog eyes - he’s adorable, how could she say no?! And she listens to Harry and validates him, because yeah, his feelings are totally valid and true, and tries to offer some advice based on her experiences and they sort of bond, and it’s not like she wants him to die or anything bad to happen to this kid! She’s not a horrible person! But she still has this resentment towards him, or at least the praise and adoration he gets, which again really isn’t his fault but... She also has a hard time being sympathetic to all the danger he’s experiencing because she dealt with so much so it’s like - yeah, yours isn’t really that bad =p You think your life is so hard? Psh, classic teenager.

So she offers her advice and to be someone to talk to for Harry if he needs it per Ron’s request and they sort of bond and she may even offer some help with things such as sneaking into the Forbidden Forest.

BUT THEN 

Sirius breaks out of Azkaban and it’s all Harry, Harry, Harry. HARRY?! HARRY FREAKING POTTER AGAIN?! Oh, Harry is his godson and he looks like James and reminds him of his friends he misses and he just wants to make sure he’s safe with everything he’s dealing with, sure his life is hard - oh what a supportive fucking person for Harry - WHAT ABOUT HER, HELLO?! She’s actually related to you! Sir! And she went through hell herself at Hogwarts. Didn’t go right to see her - okay she was probably in Egypt or Romania when he did BUT NOT THE POINT - straight to Harry because he’s the most important person in the world apparently! (I have an AU sort of story I really need to finish where Sirius actually breaks out during Keira’s 6th year I believe...no wait maybe 7th but even still clearly Sirius loves Harry and they have a special connection/bond and yeah Keira can get jealous).

Oh Keira may have hated Harry for awhile. And yeah, she gets it, Sirius has been through hell in prison, Harry is the only link to James and Lily who he loved and misses terribly, and those people he lives with are awful and Sirius would provide him a much better home that Harry deserves because no one deserves abuse - but Sirius is her family! Blood family! And she went through hell about being a scandalous member of the House of Black and admired Sirius honestly so much and then she finally gets to see him and he’s obsessed with Harry! She might just kill Harry herself. You’re welcome, Voldy! Jealous Aunty Bella? She’s that bitch that killed Harry =p 

She wouldn’t actively try to kill him but there were moment at the top of the stairs where she thought of giving him a little nudge and claiming he tripped and fell down them. 

Thank Merlin for Remus who always managed to be there for Harry and Keira and not show any sort of favoritism because he loves them and cares about them both. And is also a helpful voice of reason to Sirius who honestly doesn’t seem to get it =p Because Sirius is happy to see her and Jacob too, don’t get him wrong! And he’s proud of how she handled everything and what she’s done in her life, but feels like she did all that without him, like she doesn’t need him but Harry still does. And really, he broke out not because of Harry but because of Peter. If he broke out for Harry he would have done it years ago, not when Harry was a teenager, right?

I’m sure Remus sort of mediates a little sit down between Keira and Sirius because as members of the House of Black he knows very well they can be dramatic =p And he’ll get them to sit down and talk and be real and resolve this nonsense because they’re family and they love each other. And honestly they are so similar - SO similar - that Remus can get frustrated and be like ‘you two are acting exactly alike - like stubborn petty arses’ essentially to which they would both definitely respond about how they have nice arses =p

No worries about that, Sirius and Keira quickly bond, they are similar, and have a close relationship. But this is about Harry and Keira. And their relationship goes from bitterness to sort of a mentor to raging resentment to - omg, are we...family? Like...technically...sort of... And then this raging resentment turns into more like sibling rivalry/teasing... Like Keira is much harsher with her comments and ‘teasing’ towards Harry than any of the Weasley’s who she also views as family, as does Harry, but also forms this protective ‘I can mess with him and be mean to him but you can’t!’ She can say mean things, even beat up on him a little bit, but if anyone else tries it she’ll end them. He’s her punching bag =p 

She likes Harry, and they bond through their life experiences. She just has some resentment to work through. But then they actually form a sort of sibling-like bond. Where she then teases Harry and Ron mercilessly although still nicer to Ron and they may try to stand up for themselves but honestly they’re both pretty afraid of her and they know she loves them and will do anything to protect them. She just takes a long time to warm up to Harry. But they get there eventually. 

The Trio and their shenanigans - They should hang out with people from other houses not just a bunch of Gryffindors. Why are they being so cliquey and House-ist? =p

Part of her is also a little proud of their shenanigans but then part of her is like “oh a troll? Cute. Life size moving chess pieces? Psh, cursed ice knight. Spiders?! Still?! At first terrifying but now seriously annoying - he’s still causing drama?! Honestly, call an exterminator. A BASILISK?! ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME I WANT A BASILISK! I get a dragon that - okay, the dragon is super cool too, don’t get me wrong BUT A BASILISK! UGH SO JEALOUS! Oh you had a lesson on Boggarts? Yeah I had to deal with a whole army of them as part of a curse... Also had someone trying to kill me so... Yep, DADA Professor. Well she tried to use one of my friends so... Oh they just tried to kill you themselves? Didn’t use your friend so you couldn’t trust them and then kill one of your friends? Yeah, Cedric is incredibly sad and unjust but he wasn’t your best friend!” So a little... unimpressed...

“Yeah, Rita is a real piece of....work...”

“Dolores Umbridge?! Oh wow... I’m...I’m so sorry...that’s awful. That’s worse than anything I had to face.”

18. Did MC ever return to Hogwarts for some reason?

Prior to the 1994 World Cup game I like to think they honored the previous winning team in a little pre-game ceremony so Keira was there for that obviously (although not technically at Hogwarts) and then attended the dragon challenge of the TriWizard Tournament because Charlie was clearly going to be a part of that and she does want to see him as much as possible with them working in different countries plus Bill was going as well and she can’t really work without her partner - they’re a package deal! 

Did she make an appearance as an OG member of Weird Sisters for at least one song at the Yule Ball also that year? Perhaps. And she looked awesome =p 

Oh! And she definitely visited like the first day of Remus’ new job as DADA Professor - she was so proud! And maybe also to make sure he was getting Wolfsbane and all of that was good and taken care of. And then when he gets fired OH does she flip some tables and desks - Storms into Dumbeldore’s office, flip that desk, storm down to Snape’s Potions classroom, flip some of those tables and goes tf off! She is so pissed!

And then she’s obviously there for the Department of Ministry battle where she saves Sirius because nope, sorry, cannot have Sirius die like that. I have a whole post ranting about this =p And then the Battle of Hogwarts because again she’s not letting Remus and Tonks and Fred die. CAN’T DO IT I’M SORRY CANNOT! She came to fight and she came to win.

*(I swear I wrote out a whole post about how I cannot acknowledge Sirius’ death or Tonks and Remus because of how unfair it is to Remus in particular whose life was so hard and how he deserves to be happy but I cannot find it! I looked and looked and I’ll keep looking but I’m sorry!)

19. Did MC attend Fred and George’s Grand Opening of Weasley’s Wizards Wheeze? What was their reaction to the twin’s epic exit of Hogwarts?

Keira has never been more proud of anyone before ever. That exit was... the most beautiful thing... awe inspiring, amazing, incredible... Literally brought a tear to her eye. SO PROUD! Slow clap proud =p

Of course she made sure to be there at their opening, she’s very supportive of them and wants to make sure they know that! She probably made Charlie and Bill go to - not that their whole family probably weren’t already going and supportive but Keira was just making sure they showed their support. She didn’t care about what work they had - the baby dragon will hatch without you just fine! Let’s go! Allons-y! You telling me Tonks and Tulip weren’t also there?! They probably could keep that place afloat alone by themselves even though they’re not in school anymore - maybe just for the nostalgia. I’m sure a few other members of the Cursed Vaults Gang came to the opening to show their support as well, even if Keira made them =p 

Sorry this took so long to answer! Thanks for being patient! 💜

[primrosesafterdawn]

Youtuber au but I'm only typing in the video names and stuff I actually want you to know

So Harry started doing this back in fourth year

harryjpotter's channel <110 videos>

welcome to my world of anxiety

so apparently I'm stuck here with the dursleys

so apparently my best friend rescued me (ft. ronniekins)

so they pranked my cousin too (ft. gredandforge)

look at that blonde ferret lol (ft. dracomalfoy but he's in ferret form)

our new professor is awesome

shit someone put my name in this weird cup thingie and now I might die

who do I even like??! (ft. choisadumbname and diggorymydudes)

my best friend is ignoring me and I'm going to die

dragons are fucking scary

I warned one of my crushes about the dragons (ft. diggorymydudes)

so my crush told me to go take a bath with this weird golden egg

rescuing my best friend and making up with him (ft. ronniekins)

so my crush is taking my other crush to the Yule Ball and I have no one

so this famous guy took my best friend to the Yule Ball (ft. grangerdanger)

my other best friend is jealous of either one of them and idk who

this sure is the weirdest maze Ive ever been in..

this noseless guy is back wtf should I do

i escaped but my crush died

so I had this teacher that was a death eater..

my cousin being a jerk (again)

seeing my godfather who is a mass murderer but actually not (ft. thebrighteststar)

my best friends are both prefects now this is great

nvm my rival is also a prefect (ft. dracomalfoy)

I might be leaving this channel for a few months because I'm busy fighting...

I hate this new teacher (ft. pinkykittens)

so the new teacher made me carve words into my hand which hurts like hell

my godfather is in trouble?!

false alarm

FUCK YOU BELLATRIX

my godfather died and both me and his husband are devastated (ft. loopylupins)

we go to this wedding

it's sixth year and I'm excited but not really at the same time

he's up to something..

out of curiosity does my rival have blonde pubes?

channel takeover by grangerdanger

explaining why harry couldn't make it

he's doing it again.. (ft. dracomalfoy)

this is getting out of hand (ft. dracomalfoy)

I might have a tiny crush on ronald?! (ft. ronniekins)

so luna likes ginny who likes harry who likes malfoy except he doesn't know it yet (ft. loonylovegood and ginnynotginerva)

ron got doused by a love potion harry was given

my crush was poisoned

so harry sliced his crush in half and honestly I'm so done

snape gave him detention and now he's going to miss a match (ft. sevysnivellius)

my idiot friends who don't know there are blonds pining over them both kissed

our gryffindors are dating!!! (ft. kissmehimirish and deantt)

harry went on a trip and the next thing you know our headmaster died (ft. dumblesfordumbo)

so he was a death eater but still harry you were obsessed

I'm back! (thanks to grangerdanger)

we need to find horcruxes

we charmed this thing to have red hair and call it ron so the ministry fucks off

horcrux hunting!(ft. grangerdanger and ronniekins)

umbitch strikes again

using polyjuice again and wow we look horrible

breaking into gringotts

ron ditched us but he came back and hermione is mad at him it's honestly so obvious they like each other

my best friend is being tortured help us

my rival saved me..

for some reason hermione keeps saying I told you so

we're here with a married couple (ft. williamweasley and fleurdelicate)

fighting voldemort again (this is getting old)

neville killed the snek!! (ft. nevilleagain)

finally guys (ft. grangerdanger and ronniekins who were snogging)

ohmygod my rival saved fred

I died and I saw my parents and my godparents who I can't believe are still in love (ft. yesimthepotterboy, lilynotevansanymore, thebrighteststar and loopylupin)

my rivals mom saved me... (ft. cissyblackmalfoy)

he died!!! (ft. solvethisriddle who is dead)

I saw my rivals family hug each other and it's kinda sweet (they are so fucking blonde whoa)

I testified at my rivals trial (cause they saved me mione no other reason at all)

i didn't know they were dating..(ft. deantt and kissmehimirish)

eighth year!!

why did they have to room me with my rival... (ft. dracomalfoy)

my rival is kinda cute someone help me

I might be gay?!

nvm I'm bi

my rival got bullied and I stepped in wtf is happening

my girlfriend and I broke up because we're both in love with blondes

so my rival kissed me

we decided to come out the exact same time as luna and ginny (ft. loonylovegood and ginnynotginerva)

not a lot of people are happy with us help

my best friends both said finally like wtf

my boyfriend and I found our lookalikes except they're straight (ft. persassy and annabrains)

we also found sirius and remus's lookalikes someone help us (ft. tbasilton and simonsnow)

double date with our lookalikes and also ron, hermione, luna and ginny

I'm proposing and this is scary

we're moving in!

draco's pregnant because fertility potions amirite

hermione's also pregnant?!

running away from our angry pregnant spouses (ft. ronniekins)

We're expecting twins!

meet lily and scorpius malfoy-potter and rose granger-weasley

I'm not only a dad but a godfather wow

channel takeover by dracomalfoy

we found my long lost cousin whose dad ran away and died in fiendfyre (ft. katniss_everqueen)

my husband's an idiot

I'm back and wow he already posted one video that said I was stupid

minerva invited us back so now I'm the DADA professor and he's the potions master

surprisingly he and neville gets along amazingly am I dreaming guys

my husband blew up the classroom

we snog in an abandoned classroom like the old days

lily's a hufflepuff and scorpius a ravenclaw wow we raised smart kids

nvm lily got in trouble on her first day the twins would've been proud

the twins' favourite is lily though they would never admit it

it's the kids' second year now

my godparents' son and tori are dating (ft. teddyblack-lupin and victoireawaits)

we caught our dads snogging and ewwww

lily and scorp here

we're taking over dad's channel cause he's boring

incendio-ing a million gummy bears

teddy black-lupin can shapeshift whoaaa

uncle Seamus is pregnant

professor flint and oliver wood are dating?!

our dads have sex for no reason

we made a new friend (ft. _atalantajackson_not_atlanta)

Well I'm done for today cause this was exhausting

[cyborgsquirrel]

Sanctuary: Chapter 19

Pairing: Wolfstar

Summary: The epic tale of Remus Lupin and Sirius Black, from their first meeting until their happily ever after.

Link to Prologue

Link to All Chapters

Tuesday, 5th October 1971, 4:30 pm

Remus left the hospital wing and headed straight for Gryffindor tower. He was still a little sore from his transformation, but there was no way he was going to admit that to Madam Pomfrey. Knowing her, she would keep him in for an extra night, and he wanted to see his friends too much for that. He had information they needed to know. 

Before leaving, though, he had asked her about the mystery of his full-moon symptoms starting so much earlier than normal, and she had put it down to how much he was using his magic every day. It was nice to have an answer, but, on this occasion, he hoped she was wrong. If she was right, it meant three full days of pain every month instead of one. Although, when he really thought about it, he had to admit, if he were forced to choose between Hogwarts and less pain, he would choose Hogwarts. Even if it meant pain all day every day, he would choose Hogwarts.

He clambered through the portrait hole, dashed across the common room (as much as he could dash with his aching joints, other people would probably call it a meander), and up the stairs to the dorm.

He burst into the room with an excited, ‘Guys, I’ve figured it out!’ kicking the door closed behind him, crossing the room and dropping his bag on his bed.

‘Figured what out?’ James asked, leaping off his bed and jumping around, apparently caught up in the excitement.

‘Hello, Remus. And how are you feeling?’ Sirius asked from where he was lounging on his bed and writing in his journal.

Remus turned to face Sirius. ‘I’m all better now, thank you. Nothing to worry about.’ He turned back to James, who was still bouncing on his toes waiting for the news. ‘I’ve figured out how to make everyone burp bubbles.’

‘Yes!’ James punched the air. ‘You are the best researcher a team of magical mischief-makers could ever ask for! How do we do it?’

Remus smiled. He had been hoping the news would be sufficient distraction to keep them from asking questions about his hospital stay. It looked like it was working.

‘The belch powder uses delayed transfiguration, like on the robes the Marauder did. So all we have to do is add an extra layer and set it to be triggered two seconds after the first layer.’

‘And you know how to do that?’ Peter asked.

‘Yes, it’s really easy. I can show you.’

Sirius closed his journal and placed it gently on the bed next to him, stood up in a single, graceful movement and sauntered over to him. ‘Hmm,’ he said, looking Remus right in the eyes. ‘I think I know your secret.’

Remus’ blood went cold.

 -o-o-o-o-

 ‘Hmm, I think I know your secret.’

Remus’ face went white. Shit. That was an epically piss-poor choice of words. Sirius hurried to finish before Remus did something ridiculously stupid, like outing himself by shouting, “I’m not a werewolf.”

‘You’re the Hogwarts Marauder,’ he said, pointing at him.

‘What?’ James said.

Sirius turned to James to explain his theory. And to take the attention off of Remus, who seemed to be struggling to catch his breath. ‘He has regular access to the laundry,’ he said, ticking each point off on his fingers. ‘He has apparently used delayed transfiguration before because he knows it’s “easy.” And he somehow knows the Marauder used delayed transfiguration to do the robe trick. He is amazingly good at transfiguration, as if he’s had lots of extra practice. And I’m pretty sure he was lying when he said he’d never altered a spell before. Therefore, I conclude, he is the Marauder.’

James’ eyes went wide, and he turned to Remus. ‘Is he right? Are you the Marauder?’

Remus seemed to have regained control of his lungs and he nodded. ‘Yeah. You got me, Sirius. It was me.’

‘That is so bloody brilliant!’ James said, returning to bouncing like an over-excited squirrel. ‘We can all be The Marauders! It’s much easier to say than magical mischief-makers. Oh, I wish we’d known before the niffler hunt. We could have used it for our team name.’

‘Breathe, James,’ Sirius said, laughing.

‘That was awesome, Remus. I really liked the lion,’ Peter said.

‘Thanks, Pete. I can make you another one if you like?’

Peter grinned. ‘Yes, please!’

James suddenly stopped bouncing. ‘If we’re going to be a club, we need rules and stuff.’

Remus frowned. ‘We’re a club now?’

‘Hell yeah, we’re a club!’ Sirius said.

James ran over to his trunk and pulled out another brand new notebook with a beautiful red dragon-hide cover, before sitting at the head of his bed cross-legged and patting the mattress in front of him. ‘Come on.’

Sirius and Peter were quick to pile on, but Remus hesitated. Sirius shuffled further over to make more room for him. ‘Come on, mate. You’re safe with us.’

Remus climbed onto the bed with extreme caution, sitting himself right on the edge. He was in danger of falling off, but Sirius didn’t want to push him. The full moon was only last night. Speaking of which…

‘Oh, if this is our first club meeting, then we should have chocolate,’ he said, before climbing carefully off the bed and going to his trunk to fetch the extra-large box of chocolate frogs he’d ordered ready for today. Fancy expensive chocolates were delicious, but right now Remus needed quantity, not quality, and he figured he’d be willing to eat more if they were cheap ones.

Sirius plonked the box in the middle of James’ bed and climbed back on.

James raised an eyebrow at him. ‘Are we ready now?’ 

‘Not quite,’ Sirius said. He ripped the box open, took out four chocolate frogs, throwing one to each of them and ripping the fourth open, before taking a bite. ‘Now we’re ready.’

James chuckled and shook his head. Ignoring his chocolate frog, he placed the notebook on top of the box in the middle of the bed. ‘This book comes with a built-in notice-me-not charm. If we all channel our magic into it and then activate the charm, we’ll be the only ones who see it.’

Sirius frowned at James. ‘Are you telling me you’ve had a way to pass notes in class without being seen this whole time and you never said?’

James gaped at him. ‘I never even thought of that.’

‘Idiot,’ Sirius said, cuffing James around the back of the head.

James scowled at him but didn’t argue. ‘Yeah, alright. Get your wands out then.’

They all took out their wands and channelled their magic into the notebook before James activated the charm. He opened the notebook to the first page and wrote  “The Marauders” across the top, followed by their names in a list.

‘We need to pick roles,’ James said. ‘I’m the ideas man, and Remus is obviously Chief of Research. Sirius?’

Sirius grinned. ‘I’m the charm.’

‘Why exactly do we need charm?’

‘To charm our way out of detention, of course. Minnie loves me.’

‘Hmm. We’ll come back to you. Peter?’

Peter shrugged. ‘I don’t know. I’m not really any good at anything.’

‘You’re great at potions. You’ve stopped me killing myself at least twice,’ Remus said.

‘And we’re all very grateful for that,’ Sirius said, nodding.

‘Chief Potioneer,’ James said, writing it down next to Peter’s name.

‘If Remus and Peter are both Chiefs, then we should be too,’ Sirius said. ‘You can be Chief Imaginator. And I’ll be Chief… Um.’

‘Artist?’ Remus suggested.

‘Excellent idea.’ James wrote both the titles next to their names and turned the page. He wrote Marauders Code along the top of the new page and looked back up.

‘Rules?’

Sirius grinned. ‘All feast days are Marauder celebrations and should be marked as such with Mischief.’

James pointed his quill at him. ‘Nice!’

‘All Marauder Mischief should be harmless and fun for everyone,’ Remus said before taking a large bite from his third chocolate frog. 

‘Unless we’re getting revenge,’ James said.

‘That’s not mischief,’ Remus said with a shrug. ‘It’s revenge.’

‘Good point.’ James wrote it down.

‘Marauders always keep each other’s secrets,’ Peter said.

‘But are not obligated to reveal their secrets before they’re ready,’ Sirius added quickly, making extra sure he wouldn’t look at Remus when he said it by reaching for another chocolate frog.

‘Rule, and amendment, accepted,’ James said.

‘Ooh, Marauders always come before girls,’ Sirius said.

James rolled his eyes. ‘Obviously.’ He wrote it down anyway.

‘A Marauder will always come to a fellow Marauder’s aid,’ Peter said.

‘That really goes without saying, doesn’t it?’ James said. ‘But I’ll write it down anyway.’

None of them could think of any other rules, so James put the notebook away, and they spent the rest of the evening stuffing their faces with chocolate and making more plans for Halloween. Remus was given a new research assignment, trying to find the recipe for the animation potion they had used before, and Sirius was delegated the task of drawing the most realistic picture of a bat he could manage. 

 -o-o-o-o-

 They didn’t find time to practise the mass delayed-transfiguration until Saturday. Remus had still been exhausted from the moon on Wednesday and spent the whole afternoon asleep, and it was far too much work to bother starting during a measly hour-long free period. Thursday evening, Remus and Sirius had Art Club, and Friday evening, they had all agreed they were too tired.

Remus sat his students down in a line on the floor and gave them each a bowl he’d borrowed from the kitchen that morning.

‘I want you to find your magical core and channel your magic into the bowl, just like we did with the notebook,’ he said.

He watched as they all placed their wand tips on their bowls and closed their eyes, and he knew it was working when the hairs on his arms stood on end. 

‘Good. Now’—he handed each of them a chocolate frog wrapper he had saved for the lesson—‘I want you to turn your wrapper pink.’

They frowned at him but did as they were told.

‘What was the point in that?’ James asked. ‘We’ve been able to do that for weeks.’

‘Because you have to do what you just did at the same time as channelling your magic and speaking the incantations for the delayed transfiguration, the timing charm and my combining spell.’

‘I thought you said it was easy,’ Sirius said.

Remus shrugged. ‘It is. You just have to focus.’

‘I can’t focus on that many things at once. I can barely focus on one thing.’

‘I found it easiest if you start channelling first, before focusing on your target and intent. Once you have your magic flowing, it’s fairly easy to turn your attention to something else while it continues in the background. We can work on adding the incantations when you get the hang of the first part.’

‘Okay,’ Sirius said, still sounding sceptical.

‘So, start channelling your magic. Once it’s flowing into the bowl, create your mental images of the pink wrapper and whatever colour you want to turn it. And if you think you’re ready, say the incantation for the delayed transfiguration.  Moratus Mutatio . You’ll need to channel for about twenty seconds to change the wrapper.’ 

‘Moratus Mutatio,’ they all repeated before beginning the task.

James was the first to open his eyes. He grinned at Remus but didn’t speak, obviously knowing better than to break his friends’ concentration. Peter was next. He looked around and seemed surprised to see Sirius was still trying. Looking at Remus, he raised his eyebrows, jerked his head towards Sirius and raised his fists in the air as if celebrating a victory. It took all of Remus’ self-control not to laugh. Sirius didn’t take much longer, opening his eyes about thirty seconds after Peter and glancing to the others. 

‘Dammit, I’m last,’ he said with a huff. 

‘It’s not a competition, Sirius,’ Remus said. 

‘Everything,’ Sirius said, ‘is a competition.’

Remus rolled his eyes. ‘If you say so. Let’s see if you all managed it, shall we? Drop your wrappers into your bowl.’

They did so and all three of them changed. James’ turned Gryffindor red, Peter’s turned white and Sirius’ turned blue with bright orange spots. 

‘No wonder you took longer,’ Remus said. ‘Why did you bother with spots?’

Sirius shrugged. ‘If you’re going to do something, might as well do it properly.’

Remus laughed. ‘Well, I guess if everything’s a competition you won this round. Ten points to Gryffindor.’

‘If only you  could  hand out points,’ James said. 

Remus was finding he quite enjoyed teaching. He got a thrill of excitement when they managed to achieve something under his guidance.

‘What’s next?’ Peter asked.

‘Next, you need to learn the timing charm. I tested it with defodio, but we probably shouldn’t damage anything in here. You all have the hang of Wingardium Leviosa, right?’ They all nodded, so Remus continued, ‘Great, I want you to cast the timing charm on your wrapper followed by wingardium leviosa. After you cast the levitation charm, you’ll need to move your wand in the path you want it to travel. The timing charm is  Statuto tempus.’

They all followed his instructions to the letter. Remus was a little surprised that James and Sirius were being so attentive. They never paid that much attention in class. But he supposed this was for fun, so it was far more important than class in their minds. 

Sirius and James succeeded on their first attempt. Peter took a few tries, but it was only a couple of minutes before his wrapper was floating around the room with James’ and Sirius’, seemingly of their own accord.

‘We have got to use this for Halloween. We can make the candles do a dance,’ James said.

‘That will take forever to set up,’ Remus said.

James rolled his eyes. ‘So? We can do it over a few nights if necessary.’

‘Alright, we’ll talk about that later. We’re on the last step now. Basically, do exactly what you did before but add the timing charm and my combination spell. The full incantation will be  Statuto tempus et magicae simulio moratus mutatio.’

‘Merlin’s ragged and pointy hat, that’s a lot to remember,’ Sirius said. ‘How in Godric’s name did you manage to do all that?’

Remus considered the question. He hadn’t really found it that difficult. But why was that?

‘I think it might be the meditation.’

Sirius frowned. ‘The what?’

‘It’s a muggle thing. My mum bought me a book about it a few months before we started school. It helps me control my temper, but it’s improved my focus too.’

Sirius looked interested. ‘I could use a little help with that too. How does it work?’ 

‘It’s a lot of breathing and visualising stuff in your mind. I could teach you?’ 

‘It’s a date,’ Sirius said, winking and making him blush. Again. Goddammit. He really needed to stop reacting like that. 

Sirius smirked at him.

They went over the incantation several times until they all had it memorised before they tried it. Remus told them to set their timing charm for eleven o’clock. An hour would be long enough for them to get it done, he thought.

James finished first, again, after thirty minutes of trying, Sirius came second this time, finishing ten minutes after James and beating Peter by a full five minutes. They sat in silence, waiting for him to open his eyes. Sirius kept pulling faces, trying to make them laugh until Remus scowled at him to make him stop.

They dropped their chocolate wrappers into their bowls, and while they waited to see if they had been successful, they returned to the discussion of the dancing candles. 

‘It could be dangerous,’ Remus said. ‘If someone got in the way, they could be burnt or even catch fire.’

‘That would be bad. We’d be expelled for sure,’ Peter said. 

‘I hadn’t thought of that,’ James said. ‘I think we need to add that to your Marauder role. Remus Lupin, Chief Researcher and Safety Monitor.’

Remus bowed. ‘I graciously accept.’

‘Excellent, I’ll write it in the book later. So, Maraudering Chief of Research and Safety, how do we do the dancing candles without hurting anyone?’

‘Hmm, some kind of shield charm around the candles? That would stop anyone getting hit by molten wax, too.’

Sirius frowned. ‘That sounds pretty advanced.’

Remus nodded. ‘The basic personal shield charm is a second-year spell, I think. But we wouldn’t need anything that powerful for this. It only needs to stop fire and solid objects, not magic. I’ll have a look next time I’m in the library.’

‘Which will probably be later today, right?’ Sirius asked, laughing.

Remus refused to be embarrassed by his dedication to schoolwork. They wouldn’t be able to understand why it meant so much to him, so he couldn’t blame them for finding his behaviour strange but he wouldn’t hide it. 

‘Probably,’ he agreed. ‘I want to look up some things for the cockatrice essay,’

When eleven o’clock came, all three wrappers changed colour. James’ was gold this time, Sirius had gone for purple and Peter’s was black.

‘Well done,’ Remus said. ‘I can’t believe you all got the hang of it so fast.’

Sirius winked at him. ‘You’re just an amazing teacher, Remus.’

‘That might be a part of it,’ Remus said, feeling his face heating up again. He was going to end up permanently red at this rate.

They practised a few more times, trying out more complex transfigurations and working their way up to creating bubbles. They took a break for lunch, and the other Marauders joined Remus in the kitchen, where Remus taught them the theory of turning a gas into a liquid, as they wouldn’t be covering it in class until November. Peter picked it up surprisingly quickly, and Remus wondered if it was the informal setting putting him more at ease. The classroom environment didn’t work for everyone. 

By two o’clock, they were all happily transfiguring pockets of air in the room into bubbles of various sizes, and the dormitory was filled with them.

‘I think you’re ready,’ Remus said, with a wide smile. 

James fetched the belch powder his dad had sent him, and they settled down to complete the mammoth task. They would need to channel for an hour to be sure there was enough magic in the bowls to work on each grain of powder. 

 -o-o-o-o-

 The following Tuesday, after lunch, Sirius was lounging on his bed in the dorm, chatting with James and Peter while they waited for their spells to activate. They had been practising the timed levitation charm for Halloween, and there were a number of items placed strategically around the room.

 ‘Only four more days until we find out what’s behind the locked door,’ Sirius said.

James was sitting up on his bed, tossing a balled up pair of socks back and forth across the room with Peter. ‘I know. I can’t wait. What do you reckon it is? I bet it's something awesome.’

‘This is Hogwarts, mate. It could literally be anything.’

They all looked over when the door burst open and an out of breath Remus rushed through it.

‘I’ve found the recipe!’ he said, collapsing on his bed.

James perked up. ‘For the animation potion? No way!’ 

Remus sat up. ‘Yes. I still don’t see how we can use it, though. We don’t want to ruin the feast by making the tables gallop off again.’

‘Give it to our Chief Potioneer. He’s going to see what he can do with it.’

Remus stood up and took three steps across the room towards Peter when all of a sudden various items around the room rose into the air and converged on him.

‘Oh shit! Remus, duck!’ Sirius cried.

Remus didn’t need telling twice. He dropped to the floor and rolled onto his back to watch as the quills, socks, screwed up balls of parchment, and potions bottles carried out an elaborate dance above his head.

He pointed at one particular item. ‘That quill is out of time with the others.’

Sirius threw his pillow at him. ‘Shut up, it was our first attempt.’

Remus arched his head back to look at him. ‘Really? Well, in that case, it’s very impressive. Well done.’

A couple of minutes later, it was safe for Remus to stand back up, and he handed the recipe he’d copied from the library book to Peter, who looked it over with a frown. 

‘This is pretty straightforward,’ he said after a couple of minutes. ‘If I substitute a couple of items and add in a targeting charm at the end, we can make it so it only animates the bats. We’ll need to add one of them to the potion so it knows what to target.’ He looked up from the parchment. ‘It’ll take two full days to brew though.’

‘We’ll have to do it in here over the weekend,’ Sirius said.

‘But what if they do a dorm check and catch us? We’d get in serious trouble for brewing in the dorm,’ Peter said.

‘If one of us stays in the room at all times, we can avoid dorm checks. The house-elves don’t come in if the room’s occupied,’ James said.

Remus looked at him. ‘How do you know that?’

James grinned. ‘My dad told me. He thought it was important information every boy should be aware of.’

Sirius laughed. ‘I kind of love your dad.’

‘Strange. I kind of love him too,’ James said with a chuckle. ‘He would adore you. You should come over in the summer holidays. All of you. We can have a Marauder sleepover or something.’

Yeah. That wasn’t going to happen, Sirius thought. No way his parents were going to let him out of the house that summer. 

‘I can practically see you thinking, Sirius. You can’t possibly believe your mother is daft enough to refuse an official invitation from House Potter? That would be social suicide.’

He was right. She’d be furious about it, of course, but she’d have no choice but to let him go. Sirius grinned. ‘It’ll be brilliant!’

‘Yeah, it will! Peter, you in?’ James said. 

‘Definitely. I’m sure my mum won’t mind.’

‘Remus?’

Sirius glanced over. Remus was biting his lip. He knew what the problem was; he wouldn’t be able to say yes unless he knew exactly what day it was going to be.

‘I’ll have to ask my mum. But I’d like to come if she lets me.’

Translation: I want to come, but only if it’s not a full moon.

Sirius decided then and there to make sure the get together happened when it wasn’t a full moon so Remus could be there. It wouldn’t be a Marauder sleepover without the original Marauder, after all.

 -o-o-o-o-

 Two days later, after Potions had ended, Remus waited for the rest of the students to clear out before making his way to the front of the class.

‘Excuse me, Professor. I was wondering if I could ask you some questions about the uses of dragon blood in potions?’ 

Slughorn looked up from the essay he was marking. ‘Of course, my boy. What is it you’d like to know?’

‘Well, I was thinking about its use in healing potions. Could it be mixed with dittany to make its effects stronger?’

Peter had told him to ask that. Apparently dittany and dragon’s blood were an explosive combination.

‘Oh, Merlin, no! That’s a terrible idea. Dragon’s blood is very volatile, and it dislikes dittany immensely. Don’t ever combine them.’

Remus nodded. ‘Understood, sir.’

‘Do you have an interest in potions?’

Remus shrugged. ‘It’s more an interest in healing, really. You may have noticed I’m not particularly adept with a cauldron.’

‘Well, you’ll need at least a little competency with potions to get into the healers’ program at St Mungos. But I may be able to help you with that. I have a few connections in the trainee intake department. Why don’t you come to my party this Saturday, and I’ll see what I can do for you? You’re friends with Black, Potter and Pettigrew aren’t you?’ 

Remus nodded. ‘Yes, sir.’

‘Invite them along too. It starts at seven pm in the room next door to this one.’

‘I will, sir. Thank you.’

‘Not at all. Have a lovely evening, Mister Lupin.’

‘You too, sir’ Remus said, hurrying from the room and hoping he had kept Slughorn talking for long enough.

James, Sirius and Peter were waiting for him outside and gave him a thumbs up. They had got what they needed for the potion. Excellent.

 -o-o-o-o-  

 The Official Marauders Notebook

The Marauders

James Potter - Chief Imaginator and Lily Evans Stalker

Sirius Black - Chief Artist and Charmer of Teachers

Remus Lupin - Chief Researcher and Safety Monitor and Chocolate Eating Genius

Peter Pettigrew - Chief Potioneer and Master of Food Procurement

  The Marauders Code

- All feast days are Marauder celebrations and should be marked as such with Mischief

- All Marauder Mischief should be harmless and fun for everyone

- Marauders always keep each other’s secrets but are not obligated to reveal their secrets before they’re ready

- Marauders always come before girls

- A Marauder will always come to a fellow Marauders aid

- The Chief Imaginator is responsible for providing all Marauders with daily chocolate and must give compliments to them once every hour.

  6th October

The crossed-out sections were added in permanent ink at some point during the night when all NORMAL people were sleeping, and they do not count. The main suspect is one Sirius Black, who is giggling like a girl. - James Potter Chief Imaginator and Lily Evans Stalker.

  7th October

Sirius! Stop adding things to the Official Marauder Notebook or I’ll kick you out of the club! - James Potter Chief Imaginator and Lily Evans Stalker.

 8th October 1:23 am

James! Never! And I don’t giggle like a girl. My laugh is deep and manly. - Sirius Black Chief Artist and Charmer of Teachers.

 Monday 11th October 11:45 am

  Chief Imaginator to Chief Researcher, Gods Transfiguration theory is boring, have you had any luck finding that recipe yet?

No, I’m going to look tomorrow afternoon. And it’s not boring; it’s important. Especially if you want to be able to change, oh I don’t know, bubbles into bats? -  Chief Researcher and Safety Monitor.

You have to sign your messages so we know who it’s from. I did it for you this time. And you make a good point, I will try to pay attention. - Chief Imaginator

You know who it’s from, James. I passed it to you. And you’re not doing a very good job of paying attention. I saw you flicking bits of parchment at Snape. -  Chief Researcher and Safety Monitor.

They were drawings of his ugly nose. I think he appreciated them. Please sign your name. For me? - Chief Imaginator.

I will if you do your work - Remus

Fine! - Chief Imaginator.

 Thursday 14th October, 3:00 pm

 Remus, we need you to distract Slughorn after class. Can you talk to him about something? - James.

Sure, how long do you need? - Remus.

Long enough to sneak into his office and grab some ingredients. - James.

Ask him about mixing dragon’s blood and dittany, he’ll be horrified - Peter.

Why, what does it do? - Remus.

Let’s just say they’re an explosive combination - Peter.

Peter, you’re giving me ideas - Sirius.

Sirius, as Marauder Safety Monitor, I forbid you to blow up the school - Remus.

Remus, you spoil all my fun :( - Sirius.

Chapter 20

[severussnapedamagedlove]

The Nature of a Black

Christmas Break – First Year

             “Aha! Youngest Quidditch player in a century. A seeker, too!” Sirius beamed as him and his godson marched through the door of his family home, Grimmauld Place. It’d been a lonely school term with Harry gone. Sirius was only amused with Remus for so long before even those antics became predictable. He wished for his godson.

Harry had been with Sirius and Remus since his parents’ deaths, ten years before. They’d been betrayed by their childhood friend, Peter, who was lost that very night with James and Lily. It made Sirius especially protective of the young boy he raised as his own, never trusting more than a handful with his wellbeing, Remus being an obvious exception.

Now, Harry attended Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry as his parents and Sirius attended in their younger days. He glowed with pride at the memory of his own childhood within the castle walls.

           “Your dad would be so proud,” Sirius said softly, lost in the memory of James as he stared down at his face.

They shared the same wicked smile, always a taste for mischief, in a way that was exactly in his father’s nature. Dark hair, unkempt in a way that chose comfort over style, even his walk was that of James Potter.

           “Do you think so?” The young man looked up with a curious look. “I figured he’d wish me to be a Keeper.”

Sirius snorted. “What would make you go think something as preposterous as that?”

           “Well, um, I mean.”

The boy struggled over his words. It wasn’t often that his godson struggled to talk to Sirius about anything, much less Quidditch. He practically grew up on a broom!

           “Out with it, son. What is it you’re thinking?”

Sirius touched Harry’s robes. They were ruffled from a long train ride home, no doubt shoved up against the glass from all the boys in the car. The innocence of the first year, the fun, was all too dear to the man who grew forlorn as the days marched on without his two best friends, James and Lily, to witness their son turn into a remarkable young man.

He didn’t dwell on that now. Harry was home. That was more important than anything.

           “All the Keepers are so cool,” Harry admitted. “They save the games, get the girls. Being a Keeper is so much cooler.”

Sirius scoffed. “As if a Keeper has ever been cooler than a Seeker. Harry, my boy, I’ve never met a Keeper that wasn’t a complete git. That’s who isn’t tough enough to be a Chaser, or smart enough to be a Beater, or fast enough to be a Seeker. No, those gits take hits to their heads!”

He was going to have to write the school and complain about that conduct. A Keeper more popular than a Seeker? Who in their right minds thought that up?

Harry eyed Sirius closely before relenting. He moved his trunk up the staircase, letting it thunk against every single step on the way up in a way that Kreacher was sure to bellyache about the rest of the night.

That was when he noticed something amiss.

He leaned over the railing. “Where is Remus and that friend of yours? They did make it off the platform, didn’t they?”

Harry shot him a wry look. “Distracted by a street performer. They’re out on the corner. Doubt either will look away for another ten minutes.”

Sirius smiled. His godson continued to amaze him with a sensible humor that always raised him from his lonely depths. It was more than good to have him home.

           “I’ll go fetch them before the wolf starts to encourage Remus to run off to the circus.”

Sure enough, just as Harry said, Remus stood near a young boy with a worn-down trunk on the corner where a young girl with flowing locks danced, a boa wrapped around her midsection. The green snake hissed as an underlying bass as the woman sang.

Her pale eyes ignited with interest as Sirius stepped closer, giving him a careful look with a side smile.

He touched his friend’s shoulder. “Moony?”

Remus stared as the woman’s body began to gyrate the hundreds of silver sequins all over her. It elicited an excited exclamation from the young man at Remus’ side.

           “Bloody hell,” the boy murmured.

           “Alright, alright, you two. Let’s go before you spend your entire vault on this woman’s eccentricities which, frankly, I could do better,” Sirius said, collecting both by the arm and tugging them away.

           “Oh come on!” The young man groaned.

Remus was more quietly bothered. He walked along but turned his head more than once to watch the dancer summon others to be beckoned into her siren cast of weaker men. Sirius was disappointed in his friend. A lifetime of knowing the dangers of enticement left little impact when a girl as pretty as her danced. He was surprised the bleeding heart didn’t invite her inside to live forever, free of charge.

That was the kind of man his best friend was. A darker man than when they were children, but gentle as ever.

Grimmauld Place welcomed the three with a burst of warmth, thanks to all the warming charms Kreacher placed. The ancient house was drafty. Bits of snow found their way in through window sills and the attic during the winter months, the House Elf worked tirelessly to retain the integrity of the ancient House of Black.

When he’d been tasked with the job of caregiver for his godson after the death of three personal friends, Sirius could have cared less whether the place burned down or rotted. Time ate away at the sentiment as he saw more and more of a dark-haired boy bouncing down the hallways rather than a heavily cloaked man with a permanent scowl on his face. The home was Harry’s. A childhood locked within the walls, same as Sirius, but in a much more pleasant light. Kreacher still cursed the scuffs down the hallway from his first trunk, something he insisted on carrying himself.

Harry and his friend came down a time later, unpacked and ready for food. The other boy’s stomach grumbled loudly.

           “Sirius, this is my friend Ron.”

His bright red hair glowed under candlelight. It was apparent which family he hailed from. No other in England bared that hue so brilliantly.

           “Welcome, Ron. So glad you could join us.”

Ron offered up a weak smile. “It was either this or Hogwarts. And, I was afraid that’d mean more school work.”

Sirius laughed, slapping the boy on the shoulder happily. “There is always room at our table for another survivor of Hogwarts homework and the blasted library. How I hated that place.”

Both the boys groaned in agreement. Their sounds the very same that Sirius and James made to the Potters when they asked how it was the first time. Some things never changed with time.

           “I see you already know the place,” Sirius stated.

Kreacher rang for supper. The four slowly made their way to the back where the kitchens and table was, fit for fifteen people once the elite of the magical community, now just a simple broken family of those who barely survived the first war. Sirius kept Harry sheltered from the life that once was his, a dark mark on his conscious.

The Dark Lord was gone, vanquished thanks to Lily’s sacrifice. There was no need to add to the weight of the boy’s suffering, the boy’s sacrifice even if it was for the world. Lily and James meant more to everyone than that. They were beloved family. A part that Harry completed for them, for them all.

For now, Harry remained ignorant of the fact that he’d faced the worst wizard of all time and lived to see the next day. The only one.

Harry and Ron rushed to their set places, eyes wide with hunger as puddings and pies and roasts littered the table.

           “Our other friend drags us there all the time,” Harry explained as he loaded up a roll with butter. “She practically lives there. You should see the books she reads.”

           “For fun!” Ron added, clearly disturbed by the fact.

           “Yeah, for fun. She reads all about Hogwarts and magic.” Pumpkin juice was poured into Harry’s goblet. He then offered some to his guest. “I’ve never heard of most of the things she knows.”

Ron munched happily on a slice of steaming mince pie. He looked thrilled to have so much food, a fact that he took full advantage of. The porcelain of his plate was barely seen under his mountain of food.

Sirius was happy to see the boys so content. He noticed his friend even perk up at their great enthusiasm. So close to a full moon left Remus in a depressing mood, worse when Harry was around.

Grief was his struggle, more so than Sirius’. Remus suffered James and Lily’s loss every month when he shed his werewolf form into human and gained his memory once more.

           “She knows a bunch for a Muggle,” Ron commented offhand.

The comment caught Sirius’ notice. “Muggle? At Hogwarts?”

           “Ron meant Muggleborn. Hermione has Muggle parents,” Harry said. “But she’s really smart. She beats everyone in class. Answers every question before a Professor can even ask.”

           “A gifted friend to have,” Remus piped in.

A night with Remus Lupin’s input was a good one. Sirius was glad for a blessed Christmas; already given all the happiness he could have.

           “She’s alright,” Ron grumbled. “Bit of a Know-It-All.”

Harry shrugged. “I like her. She thinks of things we don’t, and it’s important to be friends with people like that, isn’t it, Sirius?”

A bloom opened up in Sirius Black’s heart to see a child so confident and well mannered. Although it didn’t seem like it, Harry did listen as Sirius rattled on about things, he’d wished he’d known as a young wizard. It took many hard lessons to understand just what the way was to be a better man.

           “That’s correct.”

Ron scrunched his nose. “Why’s that? Don’t pixies of a feather flock together? It’s hard to be friends with someone not like us.”

           “Harry? Can you tell him why we need variety?”

Sirius raised his wine goblet to his lips. The bitter red tasted sweeter as his son glowed with pride as he educated his friend on what he’d been taught.

           “Because otherwise we are too narrow to experience. If I had only been raised in magical England, I wouldn’t know pizza or cars or movies. And all those things are awesome. We need friends different than us so we can be better people, understand things, have more fun.”

The night was the first in a long while that Grimmauld Place was spent in great cheer, lit up well into the night as the boys told of their first year and all the fun they’d had. Ron spoke of his siblings – there were many – in a of relief that he didn’t have to share his holiday with them. Apparently, he had a nasty set of older brother twins that always hid Ron’s Christmas presents in the garden beneath their mother’s beloved vegetables.

It took ages for either boy to start to appear worn down. He was nodding off in his chair when their scrambling feet echoed up the staircase like a herd of cattle.

           “Merlin, they go on,” Sirius mumbled as he stood up from his crouched position. His knee popped below him. “Ah, just like that. I’m reminded of how much time has stood against me these years.”

Remus stared into the crackling fire, motionless, lost within thought.

Sirius observed the distance in his friend’s eyes. All too well, he knew the hurt there. Harry was Sirius’ Godsend, but he was Remus’ cursed reminder. They were all that remained of their childhood friends, so few left of the original Order of the Phoenix, a part of themselves never made whole. They were forced to carry on in a world that enabled their friends to be forced into hiding and eventually hunted down and murdered whilst witches and wizards turned a blind eye to the horrid acts the Dark Lord did.

Darkness. It was a cloud over their minds. It never left. A world descended into accepted chaos for the sake of a cause so bitter and impure.

His friends were brave to the very end. Harry’s parents faced down the greatest evil the world ever knew without doubt it was the right thing to do. That trait carried over into their son who grew more stubborn and decided as the days burned on. He was a force to be reckoned with.

A reckoning, Remus and Sirius, hoped would never come.

Come check the rest of the story out by clicking the link, The Nature of a Black. 

Follow and review would be AWESOME

[afaithy]

A Crinkle of Fate; Ch8: Always there

“The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.” ― Mark Twain

The month went by quietly, and one morning, a thin coat of ice and snow was covering the grounds of the school. Tonks liked winter, she loved seeing the snow fall through the window, but unfortunately, winter usually meant more visits to the hospital wing for her. Frozen stairs, snow and her two left feet were a bad combo for her and others’ safety. “Don’t be a grumpy log, Snivellus…” James laughed. Despite everyone’s effort to have James and Sirius stop calling him that, the nickname had stuck, but it had lost most of its negative connotation, so Tonks and Lily had simply given up. Snape seemed to have gotten used to it by now and sometimes, only sometimes, he would answer to it. Today however, the Slytherin boy was making his best efforts to ignore the pair of goofy Gryffindors calling at him. Sirius and James have began plotting a epic snowball battle and they were pulling up people into teams. James was stuck with Peter and, surprisingly, Lily, and he was now trying to persuade Snape to join his team. “No...aren’t you all filled up already?” Snape growled irritated “Three and three is fair…” “Yeah, but Sirius has got the advantage. I mean my team is Peter and Evans...not offense.” “None taken, Potter; but maybe I should switch teams so that I hit you with my best snow ball…” Lily said sticking her tongue at her. “I’m convinced your team is in far better position considering that Black has got Nymphadora, in his team…” “For the name of all druids, Severus. Stop calling me that…” They all laugh at the fact that Tonks had taken more offensive the use of her first name over the fact that Snape had insinuated that her clumsiness was a liability to Sirius’s team. “No…” he replied simply. “Oh, you piece of Billywig…” Tonks laughed throwing a snowball at him. Snape raised an eyebrow and dodged it casually. “See? You are good...now stop being an arse, Snivellus and come join us…” “I pass…” James let out a defeated grunt and turned to Sirius who was smirking amused. “Well...we are even, James…” Sirius chuckled “My cousin can barely stand in her feet.” “Fine...Loser gets the candies…” The snowballs war was an utter mess that had Snape rolling his eyes in annoyance, but Tonks could have sworn that the boy had been laughing when no one was watching. Lily had proved James wrong by being extremely good at throwing snowballs. Sirius had barely missed the last few rounds she had thrown at him. Lupin had managed to hit Peter with one of his own and the smaller boy had rolled over the snow in an hysterical wave of laughter. Against Snape’s predictions, Tonks seemed to be handling herself pretty well over the snow, so far she had barely tripped once, and it had actually saved her from a well aimed snowball thrown by James. However, the only reason she had managed to stay on her feet so far was because of Lupin. The boy had stayed close to her and he had managed to prevent her from falling several times earning a few chuckles from the younger girl. “You stop laughing between yourselves and help me out here!” Sirius roared from abouve the laughter. “Sirius is calling…” Tonks laughed. “So it seems…” Lupin nodded “Think you can stay on your feet?” “Ha...I think I can manage. Let’s save my sassy cousins butt, shall we?” Tonks grabbed a bunch of snow and threw it unceremoniously at Lily. The snow hit her right at her back making the ginger girl break into giggles. “Oh, dear me...haha seems that I’ve been taken down…” she laughed. “Sorry, Lily…” Tonks laughed. “Seems like you’re doomed James…” Sirius chanted victorious “Attack!” James fell to the snow laughing as a rain of snowballs fell over him.By the time the attack had ended, James hair was so covered in snow that his dark was in a freezing gray and his cheeks were vividly pink. “Alright, alright…” he panted “I give up. You win…” Sirius seemed satisfied. He helped his friend back on his feet with a large goofy grin; after they had all caught their breaths, the group - Snape included- headed back inside the castle. After spending the whole afternoon in the cold, the comforting warmth from the castle was welcomed in their bodies. With the approaching christmas, most of the students had already left to go home to spend christmas with their families, so the Great Hall was quite empty when the group sat down to have a warm supper together. “Are you going home for christmas, Tonks?” Lily asked. Tonks didn’t reply immediately. She’d have wanted to go home, but with her grandparents dead, the ambient at home wasn’t exactly cheerful and her parents had insisted that she should stay at school and enjoy it with her friends instead. “No, I’ll be staying for the holidays. My parents said that it’d be better for me...considering…” “Well, I’m not going home either...so we can spend christmas together, cous…” Sirius said cheerfully “We aren’t going home either…” “Christmas is a lot better in Hogwarts anyway…” Peter nodded. “What about you Evans?” James asked. “Severus and I are staying, too…” “Oh, then the whole gang can bundle together for our own little christmas party…” Tonks smiles. “That wouldn’t be a bad idea. I’m sure that James and Sirius wouldn’t mind sneaking some food from the kitchens…” Lupin smiled. “Ah, leave it to us…” Sirius smirked “Since we Gryffindors are majority, I say we do it in our tower…” “You are expecting us to enter your house…?” Snape frowned. “Well, I don’t think there’s a problem in that…” James shrugged “Honestly, I think it’d be only us and there’s no rule that says we can’t sneak people from other houses ...is it?” James turned to Lupin waiting for an answer. “What?” Lupin said cluelessly. “Well, you’re the one who knows the school rules by heart, Remus…” “I do not…” Lupin frowned “but as far as I know there’s no rule for that. We could always ask McGonagall though…” “Oh well, professors are always encouraging good relations between houses. Wouldn’t they be happy if we do something together?” James shrugged. “James has a point there…” Sirius approved. Snapes frowned and he was about to say something, but was roughly interrupted by Tonks. “Ah, we should be fine Severus. I’m sure there won’t be a problem, so don’t worry about it.” “Who said I was worried?” “I did…” Tonks replied sticking her tongue at him. “Cute, Nymphadora. Very cute…” “Ha...I knew you thought I was cute…” “It was a sarcasm….” “Lovely…” Lily chuckled at our exchange. “You two really get along well…” “Yes!” “No” The difference in the tone of their voice made that answer hilarious to the group. Snape’s voice was cold, deadpanned and perhaps a little annoyed, while Tonks had been over excited and happy. The contrast was simply too big. “Ah, come on…” Tonks pouted “We do a good team gathering potion ingredients for Slughorn.” “If you consider me doing all the work while you’re goofing around teamwork…” “I just did that once, and it was because we stumbled with Remus…” After their little night adventure harvesting Moonblooms with Slughorn, the friendly potions teacher had invited Tonks to join them in future ventures. A request that the Hufflepuff girl was glad to accept; as a result, she had ended up going ingredient gathering with Snape several times. “I must declare myself guilty…” Lupin smiled “I was just curious to know what you were up to.” “See…?” Tonks stated matter of factly “I’ve been useful the other times. Who would have thought that ingredient gathering could be so fun?” “You make me want to try it myself…” Lupin nodded. “Oh, do. I’m sure Slughorn wouldn’t mind a pair of extra hands…” Snape looked like he wanted to hit himself with the table. He could now say goodbye to his quiet gatherings. “I’ve never gone to any, either…” Lily admitted “It might be fun…” “You won’t enjoy it, Lily.” Snape replied “It’s messy and we often stumble with bugs…” “Ew...bugs…” “Yes, nothing a girl should get tangled with.” Snape shrugged. “Hey...I’m a girl…” “...Oh...Then I should correct myself. Nothing a girl except Nymphadora, should get tangled with...” Tonks glared at him. She picked one of the peas in her plate and threw it at his direction. Lily giggled as the two exchanged poisonous glares. “Is it really that bad, Tonks?” she asked. “Not at all. We haven’t stumbled to any insect so far...except that giant spider, but professor Slughorn took care of it…” “He wouldn’t have needed to, if you hadn’t pulled from its feet…” “Hey, it’s not my problem if acromantula feet look very alike to Fissy grass…” “Sounds thrilling…” Lupin chuckled “you two do have fun doing it, don’t you?” “Yes…” “No…” “Maybe we should all ask Slughorn and next time we can all go into an excursion with him. I could use some extra credits in Potions…” “You know that’s a good idea. I’m so bad at potions…” James snorted. “Sounds scary and restraining…I’ll pass…” Peter said. “Ah, common, Peter…” “At this rate will end up being the “Gathering Club”...” Lupin laughed. “Oh, Slughorn would be thrilled to have another club under his wing…” Sirius approved. Snape couldn’t do anything sigh in defeat. “When is your next “gathering”, cous?” “Eh...Severus?” “Icepoppies will be up for harvest in two days…” Snape replied. “Awesome...guess we can join you for it. We’ll ask Slughorn about it...” “That’s a plan. Now who wants hot cocoa?”

*** After an exciting afternoon, Tonks was ready for some peace and quiet, so she sneaked into the library and sat in her usual spot in the Muggle Literature section. She had finished Whitefang a couple days ago, and was now starting on the Hound of the Baskersvilles. Her love for Muggle novels was a living reflection of her dad’s. “Somehow...I had the feeling that I’d be meeting you here…” Tonks lifted her eyes from the page she’d been reading and smiled. Lupin had taken seat in the chair in front of her. He, too, was holding a book that -to Tonks pleasure- was from the muggle section ,too. “Ah...The Lord of the Rings…” she said resting her chin on her hand “That’s my dad’s favorite. How are you liking it?” “It is pretty amazing…” Lupin said with a smile “ the creatures, the world…” “I remember asking my dad why Hobbits weren’t listed in Fantastic Beast and Where to find them…” she chuckled. “And what did he tell you?” “That Newton Scamander never found his way to middle earth, that’s why…” They laughed. To Tonks it was nice to have someone she could talk about Muggle books beside her father. “My mother had this books in her shelf for ages, but I never thought of picking it up…” “Your mother?” “She’s a muggle…” Lupin explained. Tonks thought that she should have seen that coming. It explained why Lupin was much more familiar with Mugglet topics than Sirius, James and Peter. “Oh, you just didn’t know what you were missing. My dad used to read me that as bed time stories. My mum thought it was way too complicated for a girl my age, but she was speechless when my dad and I began talking in sindarin…” “Sindarin? That’s elvish, right?” “Yup, it is. My dad’s family is Welsh and SIndarin is very similar, so he had no problems to learn it. He ended up teaching me just to annoy my mum. Sometimes we would speak to each other in sindarin and watch my mum’s face as she couldn’t understand a thing…” “Sounds like fun...is it easy? Could you say something?” “Im enjoui cín companui mellon ni” she replied “That goes for, I enjoy your company, friend. I’m not very good at it. My dad is an expert though…” “It is still very impressive. What are you reading?” “Sherlock Holmes…” she replied showing him the book “The Hound of the Baskersvilles. It just reminds me of a canine friends I made here….” Lupin almost choked, but he managed to keep himself calm as he turned to see her. “Canine…?” “Yes. I originally thought he was dog, but it turns out he was a wolf.I named him Mr. Wolfie, but now that I think about it...I’m not sure if it is a he…” “You...named a wolf?” “Well...yeah, he’s friendly and nice. You know...he kind of reminds me of you…” “M-me? Why would he remind you of me?” “You’re both good listeners and caring…” she smiles tilting her head “I hope he’s okay. The weather is getting pretty cold…” “I’m sure he’s fine...he probably has where to stay and besides, his fur will keep him warm.” “Yeah, I suppose. Silly me for worrying when he’s far better prepared than myself. Perks of nature, right?” Lupin smiled faintly. Either she was way too perceptive of her little comparison was a very accurate coincidence; then again, he doubted that his human self was remotely similar to his wolfish self; if only...then he wouldn’t have to worry about hurting anyone at all. Lupin was woken from his thought when something hit him straight in his chest and his lap. A small square chocolate wrapped in a colorful gold and green wrapping rested neatly on his lap. Another of Tonks’s muggle sweets, he guessed. “It has mint filling…” she smiled “I know you like mint...and chocolate…” She wasn’t wrong. He loved mint and chocolate. “And who told you that?” “You always have mint tea amd you carry chocolate in your pockets. Let’s say I did an accurate guess…” Lupin chuckled. She had been paying attention to his tea? Somehow it made him feel a little happy. “Do you always look at other people’s food habits so carefully?” “Only when I like them…” she replied with a wink “Feel honored, Remus. I’m not sharing my dad’s christmas sweets with anyone but you…” “And why do I have this honor?” “Just for being the sweetest boy I’ve ever met…”she chuckled “So why did you come here to read?” “James and Sirius are in the middle of a very noisy gobtstones match, and I just couldn’t focus on my reading between their growls and Peters over excited squeals. How about you? Isn’t the Hufflepuff tower comfy enough to read?” “I just wanted somewhere for myself I guess…” she shrugged “Don’t get me wrong. I feel comfortable in Hufflepuff tower; almost like home. It’s just…” “People?” he whispered. He’d noticed that Tonks certainly had problems to connect to her fellow Hufflepuff students. As a matter of fact, she seemed to have struggles connecting with any other students but them. “Yes, I suppose it is that. I don’t know...I just feel like I somehow don’t fit in with them.” “I don’t see why? You’re a lovely girl…” “You sound like my dad…” she snickers “but truth to be told, I’ve aways been kind of an outcast. I’ve always had a tiny bit in my head that often tells me I don’t belong here, that somehow...I shouldn’t be here. It’s ridiculous, I know…” “No it isn’t…” Lupin replied staring at her face. Sometimes he felt like that, too. He was a werewolf and werewolf weren’t even supposed to learn magic. He should be living among his kind,somewhere dark and isolated; yet, here he was, in Hogwarts with a set of wonderful friends and talking about books with the loveliest girl he’d ever had the fortune to meet. “I think I feel like that at times, too. It’s okay, if you can bond with the other Hufflepuffs. You have us…” “Yes, I do. Even if Severus is so thrilled to remind me that you’re older…” she chuckles “but I’m good. If I had focused on befriending the other Hufflepuff girls, I wouldn’t be hanging out with you, and then I’d never have known what I missed…” Tonks attention seemed to drift away for a while and he saw her toying with a lock of hair under her hood. If he hadn’t had particularly keen view in the dark, he’d probably had missed the faint shade of pink under it. Somehow, he could picture her with a bright pink hair; the color totally suited her and he wondered if she’d ever let him see her without the hood. Well, technically she already had, but he’d been a wolf at the time, so that didn’t count. “Tonks...can I ask you something a little ...er...personal?” “Uh? Eh sure...as long as it isn’t something awkward ,haha….” “Why the hoodie?” Tonks stared at him. She wasn’t mad or annoyed, she was simply considering her answer. “Well...maybe I have antlers or a second face under it that I don’t want you to see…” she smirked and he laughed. “Liar. Lily got a glimpse of it once when you two were shaking off the snow. She said you had pretty burgundy hair. Why hide it?” “Burgundy, huh?” she said absently “guess I was content…” “What?” “Oh, no. Nothing. It’s complicated...my hair isn’t actually...uhm...a very traditional color. I just don’t like to stand out.” Lupin wanted to say that she didn’t need her hair to stand out, but it’d sound wrong and he didn’t mean in it in a rude way. They had more in common that he would have thought, she didn’t want people to know what she was for fear to stand out and rejection, just as much as he didn’t want others to know what he was. But unlike him, her gift was something wonderful. A expression of the purest and most natural magic. People wouldn’t judge her the way they’d judge a werewolf… “Are you scared that you’ll get...mocked?” “What?Oh, no. I couldn’t care less about it. In fact I think I feel some sort of pride about it, but...maybe I’m a little scared.” “About what? It’s just hair…” “Yes, just hair…” “I hope that someday I get the honor to see that mysterious hair of yours. Can I get at least get a hint of how it looks?” “Well…” she smiled “today it is a little lighter and shorter… perhaps…” If Lupin hadn’t known better, he’d have thought the girl was joking; but considering she was a metamorphmagus, she was probably hiding the truth behind a joke. “Let’s make a deal, Remus…” “Oh, I’m all ears…” “The day you tell me a secret, I’ll tell you mine…” Lupin stared at her without knowing what to say. He had a secret; a furry secret that came by every full moon, but he wasn’t sure how he felt about telling her something like that. Despite all her words, she’d never faced a real werewolf and people’s mind were bound to change. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever be ready to tell her that secret. “I...don’t know. I have a secret I guess, but it’s not something I like…” “ It’s okay, Remus...whatever it is, it doesn’t change who you are.” she smiled. Tonks gave him a small smile as she set back in her seat with her book as Lupin stared at her dumbfounded.

*** Christmas morning was as festive as it could ever get. Tonks woke up to find a small tower of presents lying at the feet of her bed and owl jumping over her pillow. She tried to ignore the pinch of grief that hit her chest when she remembered that this year there wouldn’t be a hand knitted jumper from her grandparents and took a deep breath before looking at her presents. The largest box was her parents’, they had bought her a new set robes for her to wear on New Year and she smiled as she sensed the fabric on between her fingers. It was light, delicate but resistant; and it had nice hood. Just like the ones she loved. Lily had gotten her a set of very pretty hair pins that had small pink flowers. It was her subtle way to encourage her to take off her hood, Tonks guessed and she let out a chuckle. She would wear the pins, too bad nobody would see them under the hood. James, Sirius and Peter had bundled up for her present. It seemed like some intent of musical boy that had a wolf dancing sillily in a tutu. A clear reference to her frustrated wish to learn ballet and her obvious preference to wolves. The gift was silly, but she loved it. Even Snape had bought her something. He had gotten her a book Magical Plants and Herbs: a guide for the Ignorant Mind; the first page of the book was scribbled with his neat handwritting: See if you can learn how to properly recognize and harvest them instead of asking me how to do it every five minutes. She stuck her tongue at the message and laughed trying to imagine what would be Snape’s face when he saw her gift. She had sent him a book as well: 100 and 1 ways to defeat grumpiness and be happy. The last present was Lupin’s and as she opened it she couldn’t help but laugh. Her and Lupin’s mind had to be weirdly connected since she opened the box to find a beautiful bookmark made of a pressed hyacinth that sparkle with magical tiny stars. She had gotten him almost the same exact thing, but instead of a hyacinth, his had some pressed Lupines from lively colors. She had found the pun amusing and a bookmark had seemed absolutely fitting. Additional to the bookmark there was a small note and a chocolate bar; she left the chocolate on the table and picked up the note. His writing was neat and careful, just as his owner.

I wasn’t sure what to get you, and Sirius suggestions were a little too out of tone. However it seems that we share passion for un-traditional books and a bookmark seemed propper. I know you hate your name, but I read somewhere that it means “Gift from the nymphs”. There are some pretty flower nymphs called Anthousai, muggles say their hair is made of hyacinths. So i thought the flower was quite fitting!

Merry Christmas! Remus

So they had ended up getting each other some punny presents. He gother something that reminded of nymphs and she gave him a bunch of Lupines. Coincidences could be quite curious, she thought laughing to herself. Tonks stared at the magical bookmark and smiled. With a quick move she put inside her book and left it on the side table as she rushed to get dressed.

The Great Hall was wonderfully decorated with 50 trees illuminated with fairy lights. Each tree had its own theme with colourful garlands, spheres, tinsels and crystals. The teachers were already sitting in their places at the end of the hall. Dumbledore was cheerfully talking to professor McGonagall and Flitwick; Hagrid was laughing loudly at some joke that Professor Sprout had said and Slughorn was telling some sort of story to madam Hooch. As soon as Tonks entered the hall, she saw Lily waving cheerfully at her. The girl was wearing a red sweater with a pleated skirt. Sitting next to her, with his usual dark theme outfit, was Snape. The other four Gryffindor boys were nowhere to be seen. “Wotcher! Merry christmas…” Tonks smiled. “Merry christmas Tonks!” Lily said cheerfully “Oh, Tonks thank so much for the bracelet. It was beautiful!” “Glad to know you liked it! Thank you for the hairpins, Lily.” “I’m expecting to see you use them…” “Oh, I will...one of these days, maybe…” Tonks replied sitting in front of Snape “Thank you for the book, Severus. I hope you liked my present…” “I found the contents of it...irrelevant…” Snape replied annoyed. “Well, you did mock my brains with the book you sent me. I’m sure you’ll find a good use for the book just like I will…” “What did he get you?” Lily asked curiously. “Magical Plants and Herbs: a guide for the ignorant mind.” Tonks shrugged and chuckled “I got him 100 and 1 ways to defeat grumpiness and be happy, so we are even haha…” “You two are the most hilarious thing…” Lily laughed. “What’s the joke? I want to know…” Sirius said dropping himself at the seat right of Tonks “Hey cous…” “Yeah, what are you laughing about?” James asked sitting by Lily’s side with Peter“Oh...apple tarts!” Tonks was about to say something in reply as Lupin sat down in the other empty seat at her left. “Wotcher, Remus…” she said smiling. “Hey, you’re are having fun, huh?” “Oh, we were discussing Tonks and Severus’s christmas exchange…” Lily chuckled “It was hilarious…” “Really?” Sirius said curiously “What did Snivellus, get you cous?” “Oh, a very useful book to remind me how little I know about magical herbs…” Tonks chuckled. “Oh? Potion making tips?” “Nop, basically a handbook of magical plants...for dummies.” Lupin chuckled. “That should come in handy someday…” “Sure, it will…” “And what did you get him?” “A guide book to be less grumpy and more happy…” Tonks smirked. A general laugh filled the table as they ate cheerfully. “So, did you get Lupin a book, too, Tonks?” Lily asked. “Oh, I did think of that, but I ended up getting him something else…” she replied. “Those two…” James chuckled pointing at them “Their minds are connected or something. THey practically gave each other the same thing…” “Really?” “It wasn’t the same…” Lupin chuckled shaking his head “same idea, though…” “What did you get?” “Bookmarks…” Tonks and Lupin replied at the same time. “See what I mean?” James laughed “and not any bookmark...no they had the same kind of bookmark with the same magically dried flower thing and the sparkles…” “ They weren’t the same flower…” Tonks pouted “Mine was a hyacinth…” “And mine was a Lupine...pun intended I reckon?” Lupin added turning to her. “You got me…” “Aw...I think that’s a really cute present…” Lily smiled “And very useful too, considering both of you are avid readers…” “Yeah, that really doesn’t match. I mean...cous, Remus destiles bookworm all over, but you don’t look like a reader…” “Don’t judge a book by its cover. I’m smarter than I look…” Tonks said winking at him. “She’s probably better at school than you, Sirius…” James laughed. “Oh, shut up James…” Tonks smiled. Frankly, she’d been a little uneasy about celebrating Christmas after what happened to her grandparents and she knew her parents had insisted on her staying in Hogwarts for the holidays hoping that the company of other kids would cheer her up. After finishing breakfast, they headed outside. James and Sirius were cheerfully chasing Peter around with a bunch of levitating snowballs while the rest sat down and watched the trio. “Shouldn’t you...I don’t know...stop them?” Tonks said watching- with a bit of pity - how Peter seemed to be suffering from the physical effort. “It’s not like they’d listen to me…” Lupin replied apologetically. “And there I thought they’d listen to your reasoning…” “I think they only listen to my reasoning 50% of the times.”he chuckled “usually when it comes to making up mischief…” “Who would take you for mischievous person, Mr. Good boy…” “Don’t judge a book for its cover…” “Hey...don’t quote me!” “It’s a popular quote. I’m not actually quoting you, Tonks…” he laughed. Tonks snorted. Her look quickly scanned her surroundings. James and Sirius were now trying to pull out Snape into the snow, and Lily was laughing at Snape’s horrified face. “That’s your doing…” Lupin said “And you were right. He might act as he’s annoyed, but he’s actually pleased. He isn’t as bad as we originally thought, I’m glad we gave him a chance. Sirius and James won’t admit it but...I’m sure they’re growing fond of him...” “Ah...Severus is a sweetheart...grumpy and all.” “I reckon you’re right; but I’m afraid we probably would have never known if you hadn’t smacked some sense into us. You’re pretty amazing, you know?” “Ha… if you consider tripping amazing, I guess I am.” There was a moment of pleasant silence, interrupted only by joyful screams and laughs. The sound was comforting and contagious; and it made Tonks feel better. “There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor” Lupin said with a smile. “Charles Dickens…”Tonks nodded “I remember that. A Christmas Carol was my grandfather’s favorite Christmas story. He’d read it outloud on Christmas while we were sitting in the living room...” “...I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…” “No, it’s alright. It’s...strange and sad, but I think I’m getting over it...slowly…” “If you need to talk, you know I’m all ears…” “I know that…” she answered punching his arm playfully “and I appreciate it. I really do…” “Do you want to read A Christmas Carol today? I’m sure we can sneak out from these bouffons and hide in the Muggle Section. They’ll never think of searching us there…” “You want to read it?” “In honor to your grandfather’s memory….yes…” Tonks smiled. She didn’t know why, but having Lupin console her gave her a slight sense of deja vú. It was a pleasant familiarity that she couldn’t quite explain, but she decided that she didn’t want break her head over it. As long as he was willing to give it to her, she’d gladly accept it. That’s how friendship worked after all.

[littleoldrachel]

Eleventh chapter is up! Read it here on ao3, or here on ff.net, or under the cut. 

100 Ways to Say I Love You Summary: In which actions speak louder than words, Sirius and Remus sort of fall in to a relationship, and even though neither of them have said those three all-important words, they both know it anyway.Or: 100 Ways to Say I Love You by Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. Previous |  chapter 11/100 - “You can have half.” | Next Based on this post by p0ck3tf0x Tw for grief, anxiety, hints at depression, a use of the f-word, mentions of child abuse.

Against James’ wishes, Remus’ advice, and Akilah’s concerns, Sirius returns to work just a few days after the news breaks. Having lost four days to his grief, his schedule is tighter than ever, but the pressure is a blessing in disguise - because he plunges headfirst into his projects, and just… does not surface.

Time loses all meaning, now that he's spending every single second in the office - sketching, programming, editing, it's all time-consuming work that requires Sirius’ utmost attention.

His friends bring meals to the office and his colleagues force him outside once in a while for some fresh air, but without his graphics tablet in hand, he's a shell of a person, aimlessly fidgeting and tugging at his clothes. He needs to be busy and productive because otherwise he's just the waste of space his parents always claimed he was, haunted by memories and longing for relief - but nobody seems to want to accept that. He begins to sleep at the office, but with no semblance of a schedule; he crashes beneath his workstation whenever exhaustion gets the better of him, and wakes to expressions of concern, aching shoulders, and the feeling of bone-deep fatigue that no amount of sleep can solve.

His grief is a current that keeps pulling him away from the work he's trying so hard to focus on, and every time it's a little harder to propel himself back to it. It tugs and claws and drags at him, and no matter how firmly he tries to embed himself in the sand, his pain is relentless.

But so are his friends in their compassion. Lily brings him his medication, and texts him reminders to actually take it, you silly angel. Frank cooks his favourite comfort foods, and doesn't complain a jot when Sirius cannot manage more than a mouthful. Kingsley makes him drinks by the gallon - some alcoholic, some not, some piping, some ice-cold, depending on how sad he looks at that moment.

Alice sends him videos of animals doing stupidly adorable things that thaw his frozen heart like nothing else can, and bakes him cookies and cakes that go largely uneaten. Peter seems to be the only one who understands Sirius’ need to be at work, because he enables him like the rest of the group refuse to - taking him to work, bringing him fresh clothes, asking him about the projects, and it's refreshingly normal where nothing else is. James encourages him to talk about his feelings, takes him to therapy, and doesn't get mad ever when it all gets too much and Sirius screams at him to fuck off, Prongs, I'm fine. Every time Sirius thinks James has peaked as a best friend, he goes and pulls something like this, which just reminds Sirius how utterly indebted he is for this friendship.

Marlene gets in touch with a promise to chase up the issue with Alphard leaving Sirius everything. Sirius wants to shout that he doesn't give a fuck, he wouldn't touch a penny if he could just have Alphard back, but he knows that she feels guilty she can't be there physically, so he lets her do what she needs to without arguing. On top of all of this, there are well wishes and messages of love from school friends he hasn't spoken to in years. It's a lot.

(It's too much, and every day, more and more messages stack up in his inbox that he simply doesn't have the energy or the will to respond to).

And then there's Remus.

Lovely, soft, understanding Remus, who comes to the office just to sit in silence and be with him because he somehow knows that the memories are a little less intrusive with his presence. Who brings him flowers just because Sirius’ shoulders slump a little less with the sight of them. Who stops him from torturing his heart with a caffeine overload. Who witnesses every single panic attack and anxiety attack and supports him through them no matter what he's supposed to be doing. Who never asks for anything from him but gives and gives and gives, and Sirius takes it all greedily, because God knows he's earned the right to be selfish.

(Sirius cannot comprehend why he's spiralling when he has literally the best support network he could ask for, but he hates himself for this perceived flaw in any case. And this self hatred only shoves him harder into his work - he doesn't spare a thought for what he's going to do when he's finished because all that is keeping him going right now is the fact that he needs to get these done).

His therapist tells him that the way he's responding is normal and expected, and he wants to yell fuck off in her stupid face, because if it is normal to be this angry and numb and depressed and overwhelmed, he is uninterested in ‘normal’ and ‘expected.’ He tries to channel this frustration into his art - because healthy outlets are important, she also reminds him, but there’s just… some kind of barrier? Blocking his emotions from the blank white page? He wants to fucking smash something - because fuck healthy coping mechanisms, fuck it all.

Of his two projects, the most pressing task is a double page spread in the next month's issue, which will introduce a character of Sirius’ own design, complete with costume, backstory, and a personal article. He has enough free reign that he barely needs to ask Akilah's guidance at all (which is a blessing because the thought of talking to anyone brings him out in cold sweats and ragged breaths).

His character is one he's been perfecting since his Final Project at university, and perhaps this makes it such an easy task despite the fogginess of his brain. He pours his tattered heart and battered soul into first the paper sketches, then into the tablet, his eyes aching from the attention to detail. What he ends up with actually stirs a feeling of something in his stomach, and he clings to the thought of something that isn't grief-related like a lifeline.

Ember, a trans woman of colour whose 'real job’ is in chemical engineering, can manipulate shadows to travel through the world, and she's, in Lily's words, completely fucking awesome, I love being bi. Sirius maps out her afro with painstaking strokes, referencing and counter referencing her features to ensure he's doing this right, and by right, he means don't be a racist fuck and make her nose all like a white person, in Frank's words.

The comic strip of her origin story involves an unhappy childhood, a found family, and a journey of self-acceptance that is so close to his own, it's almost embarrassing, except he's so in love with Ember, he doesn't give a single shit. Her superpowers come about from an experiment gone-wrong at work, the product of enthusiastic conversations he'd had with Gideon about the plausibility of this incident all those years ago. It’s nostalgic in just the way he needs - living in the past, a past in which Alphard was alive and well and thriving, means that he can pretend, however briefly, that the ground hasn’t collapsed beneath him.

The final section - the personal article - presents the greatest challenge, and he half-heartedly bashes out a few paragraphs on the importance of representation that make him wince in their detachedness. It takes almost a full bottle of whiskey late one night to actually allow the emotions to spill out, into sentences about how works like Queerllustration’s saved his life, how the realisation that people like him could be heroes too meant so much to anxious, closeted twelve-year-old Sirius. It’s cheesy and personal and possibly too-much when he sends the article to Remus to edit, because as gifted as Sirius is with pictures, it's Remus who's best with words. Remus sends an edited version back within a few hours, and Sirius loves him for it - both the eloquent way he's rearranged Sirius’ syntax and the speed with which he's turned a diamond-in-the-rough shiny.

The end result is one that, even in his grief and frustration, Sirius is proud of.

(He thinks Alphard would be too).

(If only he were here to see it).

The second project is one that Sirius had been so excited to be commissioned, because the idea of a mural for a children's ward sparks the sense of adventure and hopefulness that he sorely needs. Fresh from the adrenalin of churning out his first project, he refuses all offers of time-off or an extension, and ploughs onwards, ignoring how flat and empty the world outside his sketchpad has become.

Remus comes to the office at eight o'clock at night one day, and watches him work for a while in silence. He’s been working on the mural mock-ups for hours by now - a fact, he knows by the ache of his shoulders and the sting of tired eyes. Eventually, Remus shifts from his spot in Sirius’ swivel chair, and crouches before him, cupping a hand to his cheek and forcing Sirius to meet his gaze.

“Please come home,” Remus says softly, and the vulnerability in his eyes almost breaks Sirius. He almost caves. Almost.

“I have to finish this section,” Sirius mumbles, reluctantly removing himself from the warmth of Remus’ palm, and turning back to his designs.

Remus says nothing, and Sirius cannot bear to look back at him, for the disappointment in them will be unbearable. When Remus gets up and leaves, Sirius feels his already-broken heart shrivelling, and he forces himself to breathe through the pain of it, concentrating as hard as he can to distract from the ache in his chest.

But then -

The door clicks open once more, and Sirius jerks around in surprise. Remus is standing there, his expression heart-rendingly kind. He’s got a blanket wrapped about his shoulders and arms full of take-out containers.

(Sirius wants to sob at the gesture - at how good Remus is, and how much he cares - but he can’t seem to remember how. Or rather, there’s something that doesn’t allow the tears to come, they’re somewhere inside him, but trapped).

Remus sits beside him, and Sirius tucks against his side, huddling into the blanket that Remus drapes between them. When Remus pops the lids on the various containers, the aroma of Indian food hits his nostrils, and for the first time in weeks, the smell doesn’t nauseate him. He manages more than a few mouthfuls, listens to Remus natter about his day, allows himself this hour to just be.

Because then it’s back to the grind, and no amount of pleading from Remus will persuade him to cut himself some slack.

(Why should he take it easy when Alphard cannot take anything ever again?)

The finished design is pretty fucking epic; superheroes will decorate the wall, clad in brightly coloured costumes and masks, but these superheroes are special, because some are in wheelchairs or on crutches or missing limbs, some have Special Needs, some have no hair, some have oxygen tanks. In other words, they look like the children he’s seen on his visits to the ward, all with various illnesses and injuries, all far stronger than anyone their age should have to be.

(And if there’s a hero in there who’s older, with crinkles around his grey eyes and a wild mane of platinum hair, whose features make Sirius’ chest pang, then what of it?)

The commissioners are utterly thrilled with it. The children are delighted, the families are admiring, the medical staff appreciative. Congratulations, interview requests, and thanks come pouring in at an alarming rate. Plans are made for it to be painted the following month, and the attention it attracts funds a second commission in another section of the hospital. All Sirius hears is how well he’s done, that he’s a rising star, that this is only the beginning of a bright future. And of course, he’s grateful, these are things he’s dreamed of hearing his whole life.

But it’s too much.

Of the people clamouring his brilliance, there are none more enthusiastic or proud than his friends, all of whom photograph it from every single angle, save any and all mentions of his name in the local paper’s coverage, are more supportive than he deserves.

And Sirius -

Does not register any of it.

It's almost like he thought that finishing these projects and making a name for himself would feel like enough - would counter the horrible, unacceptable truth that Alphard is gone.

But nothing has changed.

Alphard is still gone.

And logically, Sirius knew that completing these projects and pretending things were normal wouldn’t change this fact.

But he still feels like a failure for it.

When the paint is dry on the walls, Sirius leaves the hospital, nodding at the nurses he’s come to know by name, and… walks. He walks past the tube stop he needs to take if he’s heading back to the office, past the stop that leads home, past the buses that he could catch to Peter’s - and he just keeps walking.

The sun drifts lower and lower in the sky, until the Christmas lights are flickering on and Sirius is low-key shaking with the cold the evening brings. Businessmen shove past him impatiently whilst tourists amble in front of him, and no matter where he positions himself, he is in the way, a burden, an annoyance, empty, empty, empty. Catching sight of his reflection in the shop windows is a nasty surprise; he barely recognises himself in the heavy bags beneath his eyes and the downwards twist of his mouth, but he can’t find it in himself to care.

By the time his nose is running from the cold air and his limbs are well and truly numb, the crowds have thinned out, but he doesn’t stop walking. His mind is oddly blank, and his feet keep carrying him, as though each step might shake off the incredible weight of grief he’s shouldering.

(It doesn’t).

He’s not sure at what point the tears start coming. In fact, it’s only when an older gentleman leaving a mosque stops him in concern that he’s even aware that he’s crying. He accepts the tissue the man is pressing on him, but waves off any other questions, dabbing his leaking eyes and forging onwards.

It’s ironic that the harder he cries, the more people avoid meeting his gaze. The tears are streaming and his vision is too-blurred to see straight - he’s a complete fucking wreck, and nobody cares enough to help him.

(Except that’s not quite true).

(Because there are friends who would help him only a phone call away, and it would break James’ too-generous heart to know that Sirius was walking the streets alone and devastated).

(As it is, it’s Remus’ door he ends up at).

(Because of course it’s Remus. It’s always been Remus).

He’s trying to pluck up the courage to knock on the door, when the man himself comes round the corner. Remus is wearing his university sweater - the one that Sirius likes to steal and curl up in because it’s huge and carries Remus’ scent better than anything else - and has his earphones in, a carrier bag swinging loosely from his fingers. Sirius hasn’t been spotted yet, which gives him approximately five seconds to arrange his features into something a little less distressing, and wipe his eyes.

Then, Remus looks up. The second his eyes meet Sirius’, he’s running - and Remus doesn’t run - but he makes the short distance down the corridor in record time, and presses a hand to Sirius’ cheek.

Neither of them say anything for a moment, but Remus’ eyes flit frantically over Sirius’ face, before he loops his arm around Sirius, and tugs them both inside his apartment.

(Were he in a better state of mind, Sirius would be concerned over the fact that Remus doesn’t bother with a key, because his lock’s still fucking broken).

Winky hops down from her perch on Remus’ countertop, and purrs as she winds through their legs, following them to the sofa. Remus pulls Sirius down beside him, and Sirius goes, willingly, hugging as closely to Remus as is possible. The tears, which have momentarily eased, return again in full force, and Sirius is racked with sobs as he arches into Remus’ lap. “W-why am I - crying - again?” Sirius manages, and Remus runs a soothing hand up Sirius’ back. “Why can’t I stop?”

“Because you’ve repressed this for too long,” says Remus so gently that Sirius doesn’t even flinch at the blunt honesty of it. “Because you pushed through it, and didn’t let yourself grieve.”

Sirius screws his eyes shut, the pain in his chest mounting with every ragged breath he draws. “It hurts, Moony.” He claws at his chest vaguely, though hurts doesn’t even cover it - it’s all-encompassing, all-consuming -

“I’m sorry, love,” Remus whispers. He twines their fingers together, rubbing his chest in circular motions. It does nothing to ease the pain, but it’s a reminder that he’s not alone in this hell-hole, and it’s Remus.

“Hurts,” Sirius repeats to himself.

“What can I do?” Remus says, the desperation seeping into his tone.

Sirius shakes his head, has to bite his tongue to stop himself from snapping something like bring back my dead uncle, and murmurs, “just hold me?”

“Of course,” Remus whispers, tugging Sirius even tighter against his chest.

Eventually, Sirius’ flow of tears ceases, though this has more to do with dehydration and exhaustion than because he’s nowhere near done feeling terrible about it. From that point, the intense cuddles morph into something more relaxed; the tv is left on a Netflix show they’ve both seen before, Remus reheats some leftovers, and Winky settles down in Sirius’ lap. Sirius looks blearily at the menorah in Remus’ window - it’s electric, because anything else in a flat so poorly-built and badly-designed seems too risky - and watches as Remus lights another of its candles. He looks so beautiful in the candlelight - all soft edges and warm golden glow - and he ducks his head self-consciously when he catches Sirius’ staring. “Happy Hanukkah,” he says.

“Happy Hanukkah,” Sirius returns, trying to ignore the thought of is Remus missing Hanukkah with his family? Is that because of me?

“Where do we go from here?” Remus asks, what must be several hours later, judging by the temperature drop in the room. Sirius, almost cozy and comfortable in his nest of blankets-safety-Remus, takes an anxious breath, because he knows what he needs, but it’s not what he wants.

“I think… I need to sign off work for a while. But like, properly this time.”

Remus squeezes his hip where his hand is resting. “I think that sounds like a really smart idea. I’m proud of you.”

“I love you,” Sirius says quietly, and one day, when his head is less grief-heavy and his heart less broken, he will be able to say those words with the full significance of everything in his soul. But today is not that day.

Remus replies at once, and the words bring a warmth around his heart that is the most feeling he’s had in far too long. “I love you too.”

And so begins a true healing period. One in which Sirius lets himself sob when he feels his heart re-shattering, scream when everything feels so unfair dammit, smile when something pleasant happens - because lovely things do happen, and he doesn’t have to live the rest of his life feeling guilty for it.

(Or so his therapist says. He’ll get there eventually).

In other news, he’s sort of living at Remus’ now? For the time being at least? The first night he’d slept over, Remus had had to go to work the next day, and Sirius just… didn’t leave. And then he continued to not leave. He spends the time Remus is working hanging out with his friends in their various workplaces, or binge-watching shows with Winky, or sketching for fun, not for work, I promise, Prongs. It’s the first time in forever that his mind has been able to just be, and he can feel the weight lifting a little with every day he spends waking up to the sight of Remus bashing his alarm clock in annoyance.

That’s not to say it’s easy - it’s not. There are days where getting out of bed is Far Too Much, and he cannot breathe for panicking. There are times when he remembers that he’s probably really overstayed his welcome at Remus’ and works himself into a tizzy about burdening his best friend.

But there are also lazy Saturday mornings with pancakes and syrup, late-night excursions for ice cream, tug-of-wars with Winky, outfit-selecting for Remus, phone conversations to Remus’ family… it’s all so fucking domestic, and it makes Sirius’ heart ache for what could be. The thing is, living with Remus is safe and warm and comfortable, and Sirius wants it all, all of this and so much more.

(“Is it helping?” James asks him one Wednesday evening, when Remus has a bar shift and it’s just the two of them in the flat. Sirius feels guilty for the wistfulness in James’ eyes as he nods, but his heart flutters as James admits, “you seem so much better these days. Remus is so damn good for you”).

In Sirius’ incredibly unbiased opinion, he’s inclined to agree, because days later - days? weeks? months, even? - he opens his eyes, takes a breath, and isn’t bombarded with painful memories. And a little while after that, he wakes up and finds that his chest isn’t a gaping hole - it’s more like there’s the skin covering the wound is thin and fragile, but healing. He’s healing.

Before Sirius’ colossal and overwhelming breakdown, Marlene had promised to help him with the Will Situation, because an official-looking letter arrived from his parents’ lawyer that had made him burst into tears without even opening it. He kind of assumes she’s got better things to do, until one day, he gets the following cryptic message:

Marlene: ahem, bow down before me, underling, for I have worked magic and it is finally time to recognise my brilliance

Sirius: ????????

Sirius: i kno ur brilliant i don’t understand

Marlene: true, true

Marlene: but no seriously, I’ve dealt with your shitty family and the will money is yours. They can’t touch it, or you.

Sirius: ??????

Sirius: !!!!!!!

Sirius: are you for real???

[Sirius is calling]

“Marls,” Sirius half-sobs the second she picks up, “Marls - thank you.”

“Don’t mention it,” Marlene’s voice - usually full of the fire and justice that make her such a successful lawyer - is soft, but no less protective. “It’s amazing what you can achieve with accusations of child abuse and neglect.”

Sirius winces, because she’s right, but the truth hurts. “I love you,” he says, and Marlene makes an mhm sound that Sirius knows is accompanied by a hair flip. “I - I don’t know how to thank you enough -”

“No seriously, don’t mention it. You’re my friend and I would do anything for you, yada-yada-yada, let’s not get sappy.” Marlene’s briskness has returned, and Sirius can’t help the fond smile his lips curve into. “I’m gonna send you over the details of emails between me and their fuckheads - I mean lawyer scum - and the form you need to sign, and then the money is yours.”

There’s a pause, in which Sirius exhales, trying to process everything all at once, and Marlene softens her tone again: “And Sirius, love?”

“Mmm?” Sirius says vaguely, still too affected to deal with more.

“It’s a lot. The money, I mean. He’s left you everything.”

“I don’t care about the money - as long as I don’t have to face them again, I couldn’t care less about-”

“You will, when you see it.”

(Despite Marlene’s efforts to warn him, waking up one morning with an extra two digits on his account balance is a shock, to put it mildly. Once he’s finished logging in and out of his account, refreshing the page, and even contacting his bank, it finally begins to sink in that Alphard has given him everything. And the implications of that generosity are huge).

Because, here’s the other thing: Sirius knows that Remus is poor. Living with Remus had been like a brick in the face at university, because he’d never had to worry about where his next meal was coming from, or choosing between paying the gas bills and paying for school textbooks. But Remus did have to, saved and scrimped every penny like it was goldust, and got terrifyingly annoyed at the rest of them if they were ever wasteful. But somehow, in Sirius’ disgusting throne of privilege, since university he’s sort of forgotten what it looks like to be poor. It’s only as he watches Remus cut open toothpaste tubes to scrape off the remnants, or mix his toiletries with water when they’re half-full, or save potato peelings for homemade soups, that he remembers. (And he’s completely disgusted with himself that he ever forgot).

He watches Remus’ pile of bank letters grow, watches the way Remus’ wrinkles deepen and his shoulders climb higher and higher with tension whenever he’s opening his bills. He watches Remus’ gaze skip straight over the Tesco Finest selections, to the reduced to clear and everyday value ones. He watches Remus wear through the sole of his shoes, shrug and continue wearing them, because what choice does he have?

And his door’s still fucking broken.

Sirius thinks it’s this last thing that causes the spark of inspiration in his brain, and once it’s ignited, it’s unstoppable.

“We should move out and get a place together,” is what he proposes over dinner that night, his heart hammering and palms sweating.

Remus raises his eyebrows, forces a laugh, and says, “very funny, Padfoot.”

“No, I’m serious -”

“So am I,” Remus says, laying his fork back on the plate. “We’ve talked about this before. This place is a shithole but it’s also the only London property in my budget.”

“Not if we were living together.”

Remus pauses, and for a split-second, Sirius thinks he’s going to agree. “You and I have wildly different budgets,” he says eventually, taking a sip of his drink, and not meeting Sirius’ eye. “And besides, I thought you were saving up for your own place?”

“Just listen to me, for a second,” Sirius says, reaching across the table and wrapping his hand around Remus’ wrist. Remus looks at him, but says nothing, and Sirius takes this as a sign to continue. “I’ve researched this properly, Moony. This place is awful, and I hate the thought of you living somewhere like this… but if we joined forces - well, with the money from Alphard, we could get somewhere together - somewhere nice and safe.”

Remus has stiffened, and Sirius feels the anxiety creeping up his spine like a serpent.

Fuck.

“I don’t want your money, Sirius,” says Remus tightly. “Or Alphard’s. Let’s drop it.”

“But it could help us find somewhere to live,” Sirius protests, his anxiety making him clumsy and insensitive, but also unable to stop his efforts. “You could live somewhere with a landlord who’ll fix your door, and where you don’t get faggot written on your mailbox, and where-”

Remus stands abruptly, taking his bowl to the sink, and scrubbing at it harshly. “Drop. It.”

“Just explain it to me then!

“I just did, you’re not listening.”

“If this is about the money, then you know I don’t care -”

“Exactly, you don’t care about it,” spits Remus, whirling back around to face him and - oh, he’s pissed. “Because you’ve never had to. You look at a place like this and think, oh what a dump, and throw your money around, but for some of us, this is as good as it gets, okay?”

He’s not quite shouting, but this is no longer a conversation, and Sirius feels awful and shaky. “But I’m offering you a way out of that,” he says in a small voice, even as he digs himself further and further into this grave.

Remus closes his eyes, presses his fingers against his mouth, and says, “I don’t want your money. I’m really happy that Alphard’s left you enough money that you’re able to offer this, and I know this comes from a good place, but-”

“You can have half,” is what spills out of his mouth, and he knows how it sounds - it may have come from a place of utmost care and concern but right now, it just sounds privileged and classist and awful. “I-”

“I don’t want your money,” Remus repeats. His face has shuttered off, and Sirius feels a swell of annoyance because this wasn’t how it was supposed to go.

“Stop being so bloody proud, I just want to help,” Sirius snaps back, hating himself even as he’s ruining everything. “I love you, and I don’t want you to live like this.”

Remus laughs, but the sound is wrong-wrong-wrong, miserable and cruel and so un-Remus-like that Sirius flinches. “If you really loved me, you would understand that you’re being a massive dick about this.”

Silence falls. Winky looks between them, at the shattered remnants of their friendship/relationship/whatever they are to each other. Sirius’ chest hurts once more, but this is an entirely different type of heartbreak, one that he’s not sure he’ll survive.

“You can go.” Remus won’t look at him.(Sirius has ruined everything).

[ao3feed-jily]

As Fae Would Have It

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3hYsEAq

by Ramen2417

When you wake up in a fictional world, or anywhere strange and unfamiliar for that matter, you mostly just focus on survival. On getting by. Maybe getting back home. Might briefly consider being a criminal to make some good money because you have nothing to lose.

But then some people have to be amazing, sweet cinnamon rolls and other people have to be day-ruining asshats. Inevitably, you get attached. So then you gotta save your cinnamon rolls and your asshats from dying young.

In which Voldemort gets appropriately wrecked by Fae, a dimension-hopping, cake-eating, marathon-running, sailor-level-swearing, trick-playing, stubborn werewolf who just wants everyone to have a good time and chill the fuck out.

Words: 7561, Chapters: 1/40, Language: English

Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death

Categories: F/M

Characters: Remus Lupin, James Potter, Sirius Black, Regulus Black, Peter Pettigrew, Lily Evans Potter, Severus Snape, Euphemia Potter, Fleamont Potter

Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Remus Lupin/Original Female Character(s)

Additional Tags: Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Voldemort Gets Wreckt, Werewolves Are Awesome, Fenrir Greyback Gets Wrekt, Slow Burn, so much pining, Fluff and Humor, Original Character(s), Character Redemption, Fix-It, Slow Build, Ensemble Cast, Everybody Gets Some Screen Time

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3hYsEAq

[ao3feed-snape]

As Fae Would Have It

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/3hYsEAq

by Ramen2417

When you wake up in a fictional world, or anywhere strange and unfamiliar for that matter, you mostly just focus on survival. On getting by. Maybe getting back home. Might briefly consider being a criminal to make some good money because you have nothing to lose.

But then some people have to be amazing, sweet cinnamon rolls and other people have to be day-ruining asshats. Inevitably, you get attached. So then you gotta save your cinnamon rolls and your asshats from dying young.

In which Voldemort gets appropriately wrecked by Fae, a dimension-hopping, cake-eating, marathon-running, sailor-level-swearing, trick-playing, stubborn werewolf who just wants everyone to have a good time and chill the fuck out.

Words: 7561, Chapters: 1/40, Language: English

Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death

Categories: F/M

Characters: Remus Lupin, James Potter, Sirius Black, Regulus Black, Peter Pettigrew, Lily Evans Potter, Severus Snape, Euphemia Potter, Fleamont Potter

Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Remus Lupin/Original Female Character(s)

Additional Tags: Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Voldemort Gets Wreckt, Werewolves Are Awesome, Fenrir Greyback Gets Wrekt, Slow Burn, so much pining, Fluff and Humor, Original Character(s), Character Redemption, Fix-It, Slow Build, Ensemble Cast, Everybody Gets Some Screen Time

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3hYsEAq

[wtfneopetss]

Masterpost of Padfoot’s OCs

This is long because I have a LOT of pets... So I’m gonna put it under a read more. Including their current customizations/any artwork associated with them. Going to group them by character storyline, starting with my one-offs. AKA not really developed characters set by themselves or with one or two other pets.

Stand Alones/No Real Character Development/Need to work on:

Amethystira aka Sis. Affectionately called my Queen of Bones. Sis was adopted as a baby xweetok and started being trained for the BD back when the obelisk was starting to be whispered about. She had a character along with some other baby pets I had but I scrapped them all but hers, adopted out the three other babies and morphed her into a pirate draik. Then I was sick of looking at her as a pirate draik so I painted her green. Then I realized I didn’t actually like draiks so I started zapping. Then the lab decreased a few of her stats. I didn't want to waste NP so I started fucking around in DTI and customized a Transparent Blum and decided I needed her. She’s also my booktastic books pet and will eventually be my gourmet pet. She doesn’t have an actual character yet, unfortunately. 

Current HSD: 1735 Currently training: Defence, supplementing with FQCs. Booktastic Books read: 138/161 JN Estimated Cost to Complete: 36,760,000 NP

Alaeri. I got Alaeri from Happy Zappers (idk if they even exist anymore, but they were like ZYDP) on April 4th 2013. I really love chocolate pets. Back when Neoschool was a thing here on the Neotag, Alaeri was a small part of it, but she doesn’t really have a character. Just that she’s a laid-back, outdoorsy lesbian. That’s literally it.

Efflie. I created Efflie 5 years ago and used an FFQ on her. I love aishas, I love chocolate pets. Her homepage is also home to the UC Trading Guide /~Efflie. She’s Alaeri’s girlfriend. But she’s more uptight and prissy. And that’s about it for her character.

Axella. I created a custom for a halloween guild challenge and fell so in love with it, I had to create her. I adopted Axella recently after seeing him UFA and shot off a quick NM app. He needs a gender change which I’m too lazy to send him to another account rn, but he’ll get it. Aside from that, no character at all.

Oracle Story Line

Oracle is being totally reworked right now. It was originally a storyline that I worked on with my friend Jezza who had a place called New Earth with her OCs. Oracle was founded by New Earth scientists on a planet far-yet sorta close by- and terraformed. Things went south in New Earth and all communication was cut off from Oracle. Oracle flourished for a quite some time and then had a crash in their stock market which prompted a civil war. When the dust cleared, Oracle was seized by the four remaining wealthiest families who promised to rebuild Oracle into her former glory. Unfortunately, they did not and they split Oracle into four quadrants to be headed by each family. Ravaged by the civil war and now basically a dictatorship with each quadrant ruled by a family, a rebellion begins to form by a group of the citizens, held up by two idealistic young adults. After nearly 30 years of fighting what seems to be a losing battle, these two adults are captured, tried for crimes against the land and executed. Their only child, a daughter who ran away in her teen years, is now called upon by the remaining rebels to become the new face of the resistance and give hope to the remaining members.

I’m reworking this with some friends to be set in a Neopian-centric land. I think what we’re going to do is make Oracle a province of Moltara, since it’s a steampunk post apocalyptic setting, and we’ll work in the Oracle lore with Neopia lore.

Drisit. I’ve had Drisit for longer than my 6 year old daughter has been alive. When I was pregnant with Lily, I got REALLY back into Neopets. I used to frequent the gifting boards back then (they were a lot different than they are now) and at the time, I really liked white xweetoks. So a user, who’s UN I still remember, gifted me Drisit. (I was able to later repay her by gifting her a female rb draik) Drisit is the pet that inspired me to create neo OCs and start doing art of my pets.

Drisit is the daughter of the fallen rebel leaders. As a child, she was trained in fighting by her father and in advanced military tactics by her mother. They groomed her essentially to take over the rebellion when she was old enough. Resisting their demands, Drisit ran away at sixteen years old. She survived on the streets, but just barely. For the poor, Oracle is a very hard place to live. But it gave her street smarts, sharpened her reaction time and many other things. After hearing of her parents death, Drisit returns to her childhood home to find it vacant. After a few days of staying there, mourning, the rebels made contact with her, asking her to return, to be the new face of the rebellion. Conflicted about it, Drisit does return and quickly finds herself as the head of the rebellion.

Symblor. I adopted Symblor from an UFQA board. She’s getting a complete customization overhaul. Depending on how the steampunk aisha looks, she may get that or she may just be painted silver. 

Symblor is Drisit’s right hand woman. She was sold by her parents to a group of bandits at a young age for drug money. After being put through many many horrors she was found by Drisit’s father near death. Drisit’s father was able to essentially keep her alive by turning her into a cyborg. The government that rules Oracle has outlawed cybernetic enhancements so it’s very hard for her to find replacement parts when her rudimentary parts given by Drisit’s father start to fail. She’s terrified of being caught, tried for treason and executed, so she’s mostly behind the scenes. Very intelligent and cunning, Symblor devises most of the rebel attacks/missions. She’s the one who contacted Drisit after her parents death and the two became quick friends. She’s a few years younger than Drisit.

V5S aka V. V was another UFQA acquisition. I love chocolate pets a lot. They’re fun to draw :3

V was an orphan found as a young child by an elderly couple who owned a bakery in Oracle. The bakery was passed down through the family and was once very prosperous many many years ago. Now, however, it is quite run down although V still provides treats when she can through illicit means (stealing stuff so she doesn’t always sell stale bread lawls) V is quite the risk taker and mostly uses her bakery as a front for the rebels to have meetings in her basement. She’s also the one in contact with Ave’s palace being the go between with Ave and Drisit (more on Ave later). She’s also skilled in medicine and often patches up the rebels after a skirmish. Her character needs much development however.

messr_m00ny aka Moony. I created Moony before the conversions. He was always destined to be a werelupe like his namesake, Remus Lupin. I took a hiatus before conversions and came back and unfortunately, had not painted him before then. Eventually I just sucked it up, despite preferring the UC version and made him into the werelupe he was always meant to be.

Moony is one half of a bandit duo. He’s the talkative, charming one. Growing up on the outskirts near the roughest part of Oracle, he had to steal and conive to survive. Although he has a way with the ladies, often seducing them for information, he is indeed very gay. Depending on how steampunk lupes look, he may get a repaint. Unsure.

Trelm was a stuck pet. I adopted him and painted him Stealthy myself. He’s the second half of the bandit duo and Moony partner, both in crime and romantically.

Trelm used to be a wisecracking, never serious, always jolly type. Despite having it hard growing up, he tried to hold onto a positive outlook. He and Moony found each other as young teens, orphans who grew up on the streets of Oracle. The two were always out for adventure, getting into scraps and fights, stealing, all sorts of illicit things to survive. And they were fairly good at it as well.

Until they met with the wrong group of raiders. After a fight that they nearly lost, Trelm had his throat cut and vocal chords severed. With some quick thinking, Moony got his partner to the bakery he had heard of where the  owner was able to save lives. After this, Moony decided for the two of them they were done with their banditry ways and were talked into joining the rebels by V. Trelm is now mute. He’s petpage also hosts the UC/BD trading guide, /~Trelm.

Iramkayim aka Iram. Iram is a funny story. A long long time ago, I came up with a character set in Oracle for an UC Grey Lupe that I was applying for. The owner eventually disappeared and I still stalked the Lupe for years. I saw him on a new account and apparently, the old owner had returned and traded at some point. Into a permanent home *sad face*

So a few months ago, I happened across a user adopting out their UCs. It was the lupes owner! He wasn't one of the ones that were UFA but I mailed the owner and told her I had applied for him and was wondering if she would be willing to trade. Instead, she offered to let me adopt! I was over the fucking moon. I had loved and watched this lupe afar for six or seven years.

Well. Long story short, he was from a compromised account, TNT reversed the adoption and the real owner got him back. Which is bittersweet. I’m glad she got her accounts/pets back, but he was once again in a permanent home.

So I started rethinking things. The character I made was very tragic, which is why I wanted an UC Grey Lupe. They are sad. But then, after thinking about it, while his character is tragic he’s ready to fight. Mostly because of revenge. So I decided on an UC Mutant Lupe cos they’re designs are fucking awesome.

So meet Lieutenant Iram Kayim. Iram grew up in the worst place of Oracle with poor excuses for parents. He fought throughout his life, always in some sort of trouble and as he got older, spending nights in jail. He was ruthless. Catching the eyes of some government officials, he was eventually drafted into their military. Quickly rising through the ranks, eventually, Iram becomes one of the inner circles most trust, often tasked with dangerous and immoral tasks.

Until he meets a young woman, the daughter of a man in the government. Iram falls in love with her, who softens his heart and makes him rethink his cruel ways. Eventually, they have a child, a daughter. Unbeknownst to Iram, his wife is secretly involved with the rebellion, a close confidante to Drisit and before her, her parents. She is able to give them information she learns through her father and Iram. One night she sneaks off to be a part of a raid, her daughter following closely behind her. She dies and Drisit finds Brenna, their daughter, crying over her mother's body. Trying to escape with Brenna in her arms, the two are shot and Brenna dies. Iram finds out the next day at work and immediately goes into a rage, and after inflicting some damage on one of his coworkers, quits his job.

He begins to drink his life away, living in the house, haunted by the ghosts of his wife and daughter until one day, Drisit shows up and offers him a proposal he can't refuse. Fueled by revenge, Iram becomes a soldier for the rebellion and eventually, he and Drisit fall in love.

CountessAvenge aka Countess Avenge aka The Countess aka Ave. Ave was my longest goal on Neo. It took me many years of trading to finally achieve her.

Ave is the daughter of one of the four families. She grew up not knowing the plight of the Oracle people. In fact, the only time she ever ventured beyond the castle gates was the day of her wedding. She was entered into a prearranged marriage to the leader of one of the four families. After the wedding took place in Ave’s castle, she journyed by carriage to her husbands palace and her heart broke at seeing her fellow citizens as she traveled across the land.

Once she reached her destination, Ave vowed to somehow, someway, change circumstances for her citizens. End their poverty stricken lives and give them and their children a future. Little did she know her new husband was a cruel man who delighted in his power. Growing depressed, Ave thought of ending her life since, as far as she could tell, she would not be able to help her people. Until she meets V, who is delivering some baked goods to the castle once a month. After talking in secret, V convinces Ave to supply the rebels with invaulable information.

Ave is the reason I am reworking Oracles storyline to be included in Neopia. Eventually, she meets Elle. Elle is the character my friend Coral has for an UC RG Kyrii she hopes to own one day. The two fall in love and carry out a secret relationship. Since the story is being reworked, I don’t have much info on the two yet, but they are hands down my OTP.

Twins of Shenkuu (and other characters)

These characters are based in Neopia and are RP’d with two of my friends and their characters. We’re working on getting a hub up at some point. There are actually two character groups involved in this, the Twins being the first.

Juni_Kava aka Juni. Juni was the crown princess of Shenkuu. Her father is Princess Lunara’s brother. We’re still working on the lore. She’s the only daughter with six brothers, one being her twin. Chase is the stand-in name for her twin, an UC Fae Wocky that my friend Gromit hopes to have one day.

Juni was born with a magical ability to influence air/mist. She was in line for the crown, along with her twin. Juni always followed her parents instructions, excelling at anything she tried. It was always thought she would become the next Queen. 

Until one day she is approached by the Moon Pheonix, a legendary creature that many stories were told of. However, everyone chalks the Moon Pheonix up to just that, a legend. Kyukuon (an UC Fae Pteri owned by my friend Coral) is the Moon Pheonix, charged with being a protector of sorts. It seems the Guardian of Shenkuu, another creature thought to be that of legend, is dying and Kyu has been tasked with finding the next Guardian. Unbeknownst to the twins, they have been observed in secret for quite some time by Jo, (UC Fae Xwee owned by Gromit) who is Kyu’s apprentice. When the time comes, Kyu makes contact with Juni and explains the situation to her, explaining that she is destined to be the next guardian. Fashioning a secret gateway between realms that will connect Juni to the castle and her family, Kyu convinces Juni to come with her to begin her training, leaving her brothers to vy between themselves for the throne.

AdaWong aka Ada. For generations, Ada’s family is one of the families tasked with protecting the Queen and King of Shenkuu, along with their descendants. Her mother and father are the current guards to the King and Queen and Ada was born at the same time as Juni. Growing up as best friends, Ada’s destiny was always been that she would become Juni’s protector. Eventually being sent off in her teenage years to begin her training, to a very very secret place, Ada and Juni are devastated to be separated. Secretly, they were in love but knew they could never be together due to Juni’s responsibility to the throne and the inevitable marriage and children she would eventually be expected to produce.

When Ada returns to the palace, she finds her friend gone and must make the decision, should she stay and become the protector of whichever brother inherits the throne, or follow her true love into an unknown adventure. Ada’s character has much to be worked on, but I think it’s a no-brainer what she chooses to do.

KittyRTM aka Katrina Rose aka Kitty. Kitty was born into a well-respected, but slightly lesser noble family. The family was known worldwide for providing some of the best produce from Faerieland, but they were most famous for their position in working alongside and assisting Queen Fyora. They were growing strong in Faerieland and were accumulating power through both their high ranking position with Fyora, and their thriving industry, but when Faire's father unexpectedly passed, things changed for the worse for Kitty and her family. Faire's mother had to sell their many farms to keep the pride of the family, the High Garden Estate, secure within the family.

There is quite a lot going on with Kitty’s family and it’s waaay to much to type up here. But if you’d like to know more, I’m currently in the process of changing my former project page for an UC Fae Aisha into her actual character page located on /~KittyRTM. I am very much in love with her character.

The Supernaturals

These pets also cross over into the Twins storyline and are RP’d with Coral and Gromit. They arent as prominent as the above characters and are also their own stand alone group. Many of them need character development.

Stariea aka Star. Star was an apprentice of Sophie the Swamp Witch when she was young and also worked for a time under Jhudora. She ties into the above characters through Sil and Jess (an UC Dari Eyrie and an UC Dari Lupe) that are owned by my friend Coral. 

Star is an exceptionally talented sorceress. She is feared by many, but instead of actually being malicious, she’s moreso out for herself than anyone else. After leaving Jhudora due to a disagreement, Star greatly dislikes the dark faerie and will do whatever she can to disrupt or irritate her. She still has a good working relationship with Sophie, however. Star is accompanied by Bonnie and Clyde, her bearclops. Bonnie was a meowclops and Clyde was a bearog. After an experiment gone wrong, they were fused together. They’re about the size of Jhudora’s pets, Daisy and Sarah. 

She is also accompanied by Bernard, a swamp ghoul she picked up on her travels. Bernard is not his real name, Star doesn’t know it. Although she treats him as a lowly assistant, he is quite terrifying in his own right, but he sticks with Star because she’s one of the few he’s crossed paths with that doesn’t run screaming from him on sight.

Falxo is a necromancer who was captured by Jhudora with the hopes that she would learn his magic. Disfigured due to her many experiments, since he wouldn’t just give up the information, Falxo and Star became close when she worked under Jhudora and Falxo was her prisoner. In fact, Falxo (alone with Sil and Jess, although Star doesn’t like Jess) was the reason Star rebelled against her teacher. Helping the three escape, Falxo opted to stay with Star. He’s somewhat silent and keeps to himself. The two are in a relationship and enjoy learning from one another. His character needs to be worked on as well.

Morovo aka Oro. Oro is akin to a crossroads demon. She’s able to make deals, promising fame and fortune to those that summon her. All she asks in return is something very simple, their soul. She meets Star when she’s summoned during an experiment Star and Falxo are attempting. Her character also needs heavy work.

Solariasae aka Solar. Solar is a young, clumsy witch who hounds Star to take her on as an apprentice. Her character will most likely be further developed based on what happens after The Wraith Resurgance. 

tocanini aka Toci. Toci is a druid who strives to protect all life. That’s literally all I have for her. Sorry Toci. We’ll work on you, I promise.

Spiritox aka Spirit. Yea Idk about him. He’s bad. But that’s all I got. Does magic. Or something. 

Liliaise aka Lili. She summons stuff. Idk anything else. Just that shes gonna be involved with all the above pets. 

Ryzzal and his partner Trikil (more on her next) are also tied into the Twins and Supernaturals through my friend coral’s pirate eyrie, Izi. Ryzzal ran away at a young age from his fathers home due to fear. He’s biologically male but is nonbinary. Fearing his father would find out, Ry left home. Eventually he ends up on Krawk Island, securing a job as a wench that serves the Food Club. He’s the prettiest girl in the room and has a slight fear of being found out to be male, but is generally accepted. Flirting around with the pirates, Ry loves his life. He still needs much development and I’ve never had a nonbinary character, so please don’t crucify me if I write him wrong. I’m always looking to learn more and happy to take critiques and suggestions!

Trikil aka Trikky aka Trik. Trik is an adventurous pirate who is always on the lookout for new treasure and adventure. She’s a regular on Krawk Island, especially since she met her partner Ryzzal, after frequenting the Food Club for fun and drinks. Although she isn’t always around, she has come to call Krawk Island home and looks foward to returning just as much as she looks forward to engaging on her next adventure. Sometimes alone, sometimes with friends. Her character also needs work.

The Space Explorers

These two are completely on their own, not touching any of my other pets. I do have a slight work around with @grobleen’s character, Cregan and some interaction with my friend Shanna’s space based pets. If you have spaced based pets, get at me! I’d love to expand this to include your pets as well!

Nirohean aka Niro. Niro is a fun loving bounty huntress. She can either be found bebopping around space looking for her next bounty, or stopping in on a nearby planet looking for the next party. She’s talented at her job, but loves having fun as well. She takes bounties that are interesting to her and isn’t ALWAYS on the side of the law, although she tries to be. She’s accompanied by her childhood best friend and pilot, Criliu and her Mechanized Laboratory Assistant Ridgewell that Criliu built for her. Ridgewell is a mixture between Portal 2s Wheatley and Fallout 4′s Cogsworth.

Criliu aka Cri. Cri is Niro’s best friend and pilots her ship. He’s a huge tech nerd and helps Niro with her bounties often by hacking into things and getting her information that other bounty hunters aren’t privy to. While Niro is an extrovert, Cri prefers to be alone with his ship and his gadgets. He’s secretly in love with Niro, but doesn’t know how to tell her.

Exhales Whew. That’s a lot of OCs. A lot of them need a lot of work. But I’m always open to friendships/relationships with other people’s OCs. Feel free to ask questions or whatever else with any of these babs!

[frankensteindotpdf]

All of them (bc why not)

HOLY CRAP HERE WE GO

Harry Potter: How do you want to be remembered?

As someone who made a difference; someone who was kind, sweet, funny, and loving. 

Hermione Granger: If you could meet anyone, living or dead, who would you meet?

Daniel Handler/Lemony Snicket- This man is amazing. He’s my favourite author and I couldn’t even begin to express how much I love him.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle- Another one of my favourite authors. He was insanely intelligent and just sounds like an awesome guy.

J.K. Rowling- Obviously.

Gerard Way- His songs mean so much to me, and his art is amazing…I just love him so much

Dan and Phil- (including them as one fite me) They’re so smart and funny and sweet and I just really really want to meet them.

(that’s just the first few to come to my head)

Ron Weasley: What ice-cream flavours do you love/hate?

Mint Chip is one of my favourites (fun fact! for a while I only said it was my favourite because it was my favourite character’s favourite flavour). I also L O V E cookie dough and cotton candy. I cant hate ice cream broski

Hagrid: If you could breed two totally different animals together, what new animal would you create?

A turtle and a sloth. No specific reason why.

Dumbledore: What is your most treasured possession?

My books, probably. (This includes my sketchbooks)

Voldemort: On the first day of ruling the world, what would you do?

Remove all laws against things people can’t control or that don’t harm others (being gay, bathroom bans, religions, etc.). After that I’d order the wealth of the world to be spread more evenly, as well as the food.

Fred Weasley: If you were told you only had one week left to live, what would you do?

Cry? Then I’d probably read, try to do something impactful, start a fundraiser (people love to donate to dying teens) so the funds could go somewhere important like disaster relief.

George Weasley: If you could read minds, whose would you want to read?

Authors mostly. Also my friends, see how they really feel about me.

Draco Malfoy: Do you like yourself?

I’m working on it? I know I don’t hate everything about myself (even though it feels like it sometimes), and I’m trying to be more positive.

Ginny Weasley: What’s your favorite indoor/outdoor activity?

Drawing and listening to music.

Neville Longbottom: What’s your fondest memory?  

(Oh it sounds so pathetic) Going to Universal? Honestly I was shaking it was literally like stepping right into the movies I’ve been watching since I was 2. I really love the peaceful happy moments spent with friends and my cousins (they live like 10 hours away). Singing and feeling genuinely happy.

Luna Lovegood: What are your favorite lyrics?

Oh there are SO many I’ll just go with the ones I can think of first

“I never let them see the worst of me. ‘Cause what if everyone saw? What if everyone knew? Would they like what they saw? Or would they hate it too?” Words Fail, DEH

“I cry tears you’ll never see. So fuck you, you can go cry me an ocean, and leave me be.” Save Rock And Roll, FOB

“Oh how stupid to think that I could compare to the pretty girl with the butterscotch hair. And I won’t hate you but oh, it stings. How does it feel to be adored by him?” Adored By Him, Dodie Clark

All of Waving Through A Window

And wow that was depressing how about a nice one

“Take my jumper. Wear it, you’ll need it on the train home. And everyone will know that I’ve been loved tonight; a permanent hug from you.” Permanent Hug From You, Dodie Clark

Severus Snape: Of all your pet-peeves, which is the strangest?

Wow there’s a lot…incorrect grammar, being able to hear people chewing, clicking noises with no rythm or beat, people being too physically close…

Remus Lupin: What is your greatest fear?

Being alone.

James Potter: If you were reincarnated as an animal/drink/ice cream flavor, what would it be?

Honestly I have no idea…I have yet to decide on a favourite animal, drinkwise maybe one of those punches with pop and ice cream, and ice cream flavour…uhh is music a flavour?

Lily Potter: Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)?

Anyone? People in general, I don’t really see myself as a person anymore, or at least worthy of the same respect and treatment so I’d do a lot for other people and yes, if it came to it, probably die for them too.

Sirius Black: What are your views on sex?

Personally I think it looks like a great thing to be shared with the right person. I think everyone has a right to their own bodies and their own decisions but I personally would have to be with someone for a while first.

Tonks: if you could be anyone else for a day, fictional or non-fictional who would you be any why?

Oh man idek that’s so difficult…..maybe Tonks? Honestly she’s so sweet and fun and CONFIDENT I could totally learn from that. Plus the metamorphagus powers would be awesome. and of course she’s married to remus

McGonagall: What do you believe I am thinking right now?

I think you’re doing the Jared Kleinman Laugh TM because of all the work you’re making me do.

Bellatrix: three words would others probably use to describe you?

annoying, irritating, stupid hopefully sweet, kind and funny

Lucius Malfoy: Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict?

I love debating, but actual arguements happen VERY rarely…I never stand up for myself so the only time I’ll argue with someone is if they’re hurting one of my friends.

Molly Weasley: What do you define as a family?

A group of people who love each other, feel comfortable around each other, and support and bring out the best in each other.

Arthur Weasley: If you could have any career possible, what would it be?

FULL TIME LIBRARIAN, PART TIME TATTOO ARTIST

Peter Pettigrew: If you had to change your first name, what would you change it to?

If I had to, I would put much more thought and research into it but atm probably Beatrice or Elizabeth or something gender neutral

Umbridge: If you could choose, how would you want to die?

I WANT TO BE HIT BY AN AMBULANCE, AND HAVE JUST ENOUGH CONCIOUSNESS TO SAY “SOMEONE CALL AN AMBULANCE”

Colin Creevey: Who inspires you?

Youtubers like Dan and Phil, Thomas Sanders, and Dodie, as well as the members of MCR and authors and artists in general.

Dean Thomas: Are you generally organised or messy?

It’s a mix. I want to be organised, and some places of my life are organised (my closet is organised in rainbow order as well as type of clothing) but others are horrible (my room is a dump).

Seamus Finnigan: What makes you laugh?

Youtube, memes….everything tbh

Dudley Dursley: Who is the person you despise the most, and why?

Not gonna say the name but there’s a person I know who basically destroyed my mental state. They insisted they were a friend while shredding any self-esteem I had to bits. They made it nearly impossible for me to talk, telling me “no one cares” “shut up” or “you have no friends” anytime I opened my mouth, which of course echoed in my head when they weren’t around. They terrify me, because I know they can rip down the self-confidence I’m working so hard to build back up with a sentence. And I have to see them every day again. And they’re acting just like they used to.

Vernon Dursley: Who is the most important person in your life, and why?

Gosh this is tough. I don’t really…have a best friend. I used to, years ago. And last year, another person. But at the moment…no one. So that makes it really hard to choose someone. I know it doesn’t have to be a best friend but there isn’t really anyone else, either so…no…one?

Petunia Dursley: How close are you to your family?

Fairly? I feel like I hide a lot though.

Victor Krum: What is your favorite form of exercise?

none probably hiking on a nice cool day in the forest. Or sit-ups. Those aren’t too hard, so I don’t mind them.

Dobby: Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan?

(FINALLY LAST ONE) For most things, I very much need a plan. Otherwise I panic. If it’s just hanging out with friends, though, I do enjoy just wandering around shopping at festivals or downtown (but there has to be a set plan to get there ha)