#remnants ff7

[soggy-fishsticks]

yazoo when he kidnapped all those kids:

@theghostavocadoe

[theghostavocadoe]

avocadoe I need you to know that literally anytime I see a post mentioning the remnants I'm like

*checks likes/replies* hmmm,,, it looks like avocadoe hasn't seen this one yet.... should I @ them? nah, they're gonna see it in like 5 mins anyways.....

and I'm always right LMFAOAO

5 minutes tOO LONG. you should tag me anyway I am never sated when it comes to Remnants content. I'll be busting in like

mother I crave s u s t e n a n c e

[prismaticpichu]

Pichu’s list of FF7 oopsies

Misconceptions I believed years prior

~

• Thinking Angeal was Zack’s dad

• Thinking Aeris and Aerith were different people

• Thinking Yazoo was Yahoo

• Thinking Geostigma was just FF7’s version of the flu (it’s really not, mate)

• Thinking Dumbapples were Dumpapples

• Thinking Cloud was ShinRa’s kid (I blame fandom)

• Thinking Sephiroth was a woman

• Thinking Tseng was pronounced “Shung”

• Thinking Barret was a cyborg

• Thinking Nanaki was the name of Red’s grandfather

• Thinking Sephiroth got his wing via Hojo procedure

• Thinking Vincent was a vampire (I blame fandom)

• Thinking Seph was in the ShinRa manor not because he was researching info about his mother but bc he KNEW about his mother beforehand, didn’t give two shits, and was researching about Jenova bc it was the purpose of their Nibelheim mission

• Thinking that Aerith’s Cetra blood gave her elf ears (I thought her ribbons were her ears—I, I dunno man)

• Thinking there was an in-universe FF7 search engine called Moogle

[salternateunreality2]

New Chapter of Dads of SOLDIER

I got excited and couldn't wait. I know it's only been like half an hour since I teased this.

Kadaj:

Yazoo:

Loz:

Sephiroth:

[sapphirothcrescent]

Cloud meets the Remnants(again), or as Sephiroth calls them, his little brothers.

[berabare]

6 fluffy, 8 spiky, 1 bald

Take one

and take care of it

[pink-nubes]

Edgy teens

(Genesis is forcing them to take a picture together so he can upload it to the ff7 equivalent of Instagram)

A little time skip for my au, I imagine they are like 16 here :)

[disgorgedfoetus]

Hi :)

The vague shape triplets (and cloud ig…oh and reno but whatever)

[soundcrusher]

[genesis-rhapsodass]

Just a found family on their way to a gentler life (hopefully)

So there's this really good fanfic by @eaymtb of Cloud being sent back in time together with child remnants that's got me SO hooked, I've been wanting to draw something for it for ages so here's some art of the boys on their way to Wutai

[itstheaestheticforme]

Final Fantasy: Advent Children

[soggy-fishsticks]

@theghostavocadoe Ta-da!!!!! ✨️✨️✨️ Here's my drawing of Yazoo for you for the art trade!!! <3

[theghostavocadoe]

hey sorry guys uh- there was an error with the manufacturer when the Negative Lifestream made the remnants of sephiroth. Yeah I know I'm sorry. Anyway- Kadaj didn't get any gender. Yazoo got it all instead. I KNOW I KNOW. Loz is fine at least. He's good. But Kadaj identifies as a Creature and Yazoo's gender depends on her mood. Just deal with it until they get a factory reset function

[rottenpumpkin13]

What if: Cloud using the spray bottle on the Remnants? That would've also solved so much stuff so much faster... Fuck! He could be using catnip tea and just getting them to CHILL!

Advent Children but it's only a few minutes long because the spray bottle of discipline™ resolves everything quickly.

*The remnants appear to terrorize Cloud*

Kadaj: Mother will—

Cloud: *spritz*

Loz: We want—

Cloud: *spritz*

Yazoo: You won't—

Cloud: *spritz*

*Sephiroth manifests into existence*

Sephiroth: How dare you, Cloud. Did you really think you could stop me with your futile attempts? I am the chosen one, the calamity's will made flesh, the harbinger of your—

Cloud: *spritz* *spritz* *spritz* *spritz* *spritz* *spritz* *spritz* *spritz*

Sephiroth: ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

[salternateunreality2]

Preggoroth: F3male Presenting N1pples and Newborns

TW: boobs, lactation, and board member death

-----------

3 babies are a lot to feed, and Sephiroth is up to the task, but even he needs a break sometimes.

So they're all breastfed as much as possible, but sometimes formula is used when it's just a rough day or busy or Lazard wants a turn.

Sephiroth tried pumping, but his body seemed to instinctively recognize that it wasn't babies asking for food and immediately shuts down production. He is still miffed because he can totally take the pain and discomfort, but if it's not going to produce anything, there's no point.

----------

As soon as the public finds out that his man-titties are actually producing food for babies, the media goes wild, accusing him of showing off sexual, private things, as if he hasn't had them out for years before this.

Zack and Kunsel immediately go "OH, HELL NO!" and run a campaign where they're constantly in low-cut dresses. Going on a mission? Titties out. Gym? Tatas on display. Interview about politics? Boobies bustling.

They make peekaboo shirts with "breasts are breasts", "it's food", and "My man titties are just as sexy as any woman's" on the back.

Genesis and Angeal are uncomfortable but supportive, especially after they see the small smile that Sephiroth gets whenever he sees ZK.

----------

Sephiroth gives no shits and whips a melon out any time the bebes are hungy. This includes during board meetings.

Meaning Palmer and Heidegger both die, from a heart attack and fatal nosebleed respectively. Oops. 4 birds with 2 boobs: two babies fed + two assholes dead.

He also scares people with the tentacles he grew that mostly act as extra arms so he can hold all his babies. Sometimes he leaves them out on the desk in front of him, giving people jump scares (only the ones who deserve it).

With help from @snowbanshee

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The babies are, of course, Loz, Yazoo, and Kadaj, and keep their personalities from Sephiroth, but are tempered by their upbringing and Lazard's influence.

That doesn't stop them from wreaking havoc on Shinra at all times and ultimately destroying the company and Hojo, much to everyone's delight. Everyone who matters, that is.

---------

The babies also latch onto Cloud, having imprinted on him during delivery. They're smart little cookies and can see his value, just like their daddy.

So now Cloud has a little posse of miniroths at his command. He's one of three (3) people who can reliably sooth the little terrors, and they decide he's theirs now. If you mess with Cloud, you mess with the miniroths.

They love their other uncles too, especially Genesis, Angeal, and Zack, and have formed a special bond with Dark Star/Nation, who adopted them as her pups instantly. Therefore they tolerate their blood uncle, since he's the one that brings Dark Star around.

---------

Their tails and tentacles recede over time and disappear, and their eyes and ears open pretty quickly. They grow teeth alarmingly fast, and locomotion is a high priority for them.

-----------

Finally, because Sephiroth's too busy with the babies, it's Zack, Cloud, Cissnei, and Kunsel who get sent to Nibelheim. They find Jenova and kill it, saving the world.

Sephiroth, the kittens, Angeal, and Genesis get sick all at once, but with Jenova's death, the cells stop trying to kill or enslave them and everyone lives happily ever after because fuck it I make the rules.

[sapphirothcrescent]

Loz's favorite parent is Cloud. Yazoo's favorite parent is Sephiroth.

Kadaj's favorite parent is whoever he hates the least that day.