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shiroi---kumo · 11 days ago

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Misterican Culture and Colorism

We're going to talk about the metaphorical elephant in the room when it comes to Misterica and that's colorism. It's not a good thing and it one of the greatest flaws in their society as a whole. Much like humans show bias through skin tone (racism), some Mistericans show heavy doses of bias due to the color of one's Mist (colorism) and it's nothing to be proud of.

Due to the nature of their religion, Mistericans already relate colors lighter in hue to be 'better' than others because they are 'closer to white' (the hue). This is due to the fact that their Goddess, Lady Tiamat was White ->

Please look at her when I say this so it makes sense. When I say she was "white" I do NOT mean the color of her skin. I mean her hair because that is a reflection of the color of her Mist.

I'll use Joki, Taivas and Sielu as an example of how Misterican Society talks about people. If they were being discussed in Misterican Society, skin color would never come up. They don't care. To Mistericans they're all Blue. One's hair color = the color of their Mist.

The same would be said about Kipinä, Kuu, Kukka, Sydän and Tuulta. In the space of Misterican Society they would tell you these five are all purple.

It's just the same as Sinfonia, Valo and Tuli. In the space of Misterican society they are all Orange.

The classify each other by the color of their mist and the color of their mist is told to the world around them without anyone ever speaking a word. It's the same color as a Misterican's hair no matter what, because of this Misterican considers hair color and their hair in general sacred and dyeing it is something that's never even been conceived of because no Misterican ever would.

That being said, that means Misterican Society classified it's people in the following categories:

Red - The color of the Royal Family. Red Mistericans have held the crown for thousands of years, and this color exclusively shows up within it's bloodline. The color not only is a symbol of power to them but also the sign of royalty. Red Mist's ability to cast Paralyze also gives a certain level of fear to it's bearers. Red is also a dominant trait color as it is one of the Primaries.

Orange - An average color. Many Mistericans are. Has no special qualities and carries no biases as Orange Mist's ability is to cast Silence. A secondary color that can occur in child both from parents of similar colors or because of the mixing colors of their mists.

Yellow - One of the Primaries. A dominant trait color but carries few biases that are largely over looked by the public. Yellow Mist's ability to cast Confusion makes some tread with caution around these people but they are otherwise treated just the same as everyone else.

Green - A secondary color, related to by the public to danger and death. Largely found within the space of the military due to Green Mist's poison nature. It casts Toxic upon exhale and can kill those who inhale it at varying speeds. The only secondary color that carries a secondary effect within it's main. (I.E. Yellow-Green Mist will both confuse you and kill you)

Blue - The last of the primaries and a dominant trait. The first to be considered a "Holy Color" in all shades and tints due to it's relation to Tiamat. Valued highly despite Blue Mist's ability to cast Slow when the user exhales. Highly respected color, even more so the lighter it gets. Considered reliable and dependable. Treated a little bit higher than everyone else.

Purple - A secondary color but the second to be considered a "Holy Color" in all shades and tints due to it's relation to Tiamat as well. Highly valued and considered a respectful color. These people are sought out to be friends and companions in society due to Purple Mist's ability to cast Regen or healing when the user exhales. Considered the color to represent all things medical. This color probably has the easiest time in Misterican Society after Red.

Pink - A tint of red. Should be considered valuable due to it's white nature of it's hue but is instead shunned for Pink Mist's ability to cast Blind when the user exhales. Considered dangerous but less so than other colors. This color is avoided at near all cost and most of its bearers end up in military positions due to their mist's ability.

Brown - A blended tone that is fairly uncommon but not completely unheard of. Avoided by most due to Brown Mist's ability to cast Stone when exhaled. Largely found in military positions due to their mist's abilities. Brown Mistericans have a habit of keeping their masks on at near all times like their green counterparts, and don't make friends outside of their own color because of the nature of their mist. They are also commonly employed by the royal family.

Silver - The Holiest of Colors after White and the symbol of the Church. Silver Mistericans have held power in the Church and the Head of the Religious Council for as long as most MIstericans can remember. Much like the King is Red, the Piipsa (Bishop) is Silver. The Piispa is the head of the Religious Council and Leader of the Church. They are also responsible for half of Misterica's government as their word is extremely valued. Silver Mist's ability to cast Charm can make those around them far more agreeable than they were before but no one seems to notice or say anything about it....

White - The color of Lady Tiamat, the Celestial Mother herself. The Holiest of all Colors and considered the Supreme Color. Misterica's entire religion is built around the worship of this color. Misterican Religion dictates that the Misterican born of this color will be known as the "Child of White" and will be Misterica's destined Savior. The Child of Salvation, themselves. Only one Misterican was ever born to this color as prophesied. White Mist possess the ability to cast Sleep upon exhale.

All this being said, Mistericans also have feelings towards the color Black (the actual hue) and they aren't good ones. They feel this way because they relate the color Black to Lord Bahamut of the God of the Soil ->

So before I go into this I remind you. Mistericans DO NOT classify beings by skin tone. They classify them by the color of their Mist, so when I say "Mistericans don't like Black" I mean the actual hue of Black like paint, NOT SKIN TONE.

So as a reminder:

Aamunkoitto is Pink. Joki is Blue. Kristalli is Pink. Liekki is Green. Palo is Yellow.

If you want the fastest way to categorize a Misterican, simply look at the color of their hair.

All on the same page? Cool. Good.

So due to Bahamut's place within Misterican Religion as "The God of Destruction" and his connection to the color Black, the Mistericans have a very strict view of the color.

Misterican Religion dictates that a great dark will come to destroy the world and when it does it will be met by a "Child of White" who will bring about Salvation but it also dictates that of a "Child of Black" to which that child is called "the child of destruction".

Mistericans view Black as a bad omen and the color of death. Black Mist does not exist but if it did they would have exiled its user no doubt. They are so tied into the belief in Black being a bad omen / ill will / the color of death that they will not wear it. They will wear deep greys but they will not wear black.

The only time a Misterican is seen wearing the color Black is when their Sielun Värit will turn such a color after they are declared a tenet breaker.

That being said Mistericans will also not wear the color White, no matter their own tone because it is the holiest of colors and therefore meant for only the holiest of beings. Only the Child of White is allowed to wear such a color as it marks them as the Celestial Mother's holy vessel.

This is where the Church comes into play on this subject, because Misterica's government is divided into two sections. The Church and the Crown or The Religious Council and the Royal Family. I'm saying this to establish that Misterica's church held the same amount of power over the government as the royal family did. They lived in a theocracy. The Church held power.

So that means when the Church declared certain colors (green, brown and pink) as "less than" or "dangerous" or even went so far as the say "The Celestial Mother loves them less" or "They were her accidental creation" that means most of the populace took that seriously and began to avoid, talk about and segregate the other colors.

It makes it excessively difficult for Mistericans of Pink, Green or Brown to exist in society fully as they are often shown much prejudice and turned down for things like applications for housing or jobs. Many of these colors are impoverished and treated extremely poorly.

On top of this, Mistericans biases show up by simply judging a person by what colors they choose to wear and it's the reason most tend to stay within the boundaries of their own color families because Mistericans will make judgements on each other solely based on the abilities of the mist that color belongs to.

An example of this is how the Royal Knights all wear blue - a holy color and most Mistericans in the medical field will wear purple somewhere on their person as purple mist has healing properties.

Furthermore, The Crown clashes with the Church on these claims and beliefs - saying they are "ludicrous" and "baseless claims found no where in the sacred texts" and that The Church is fear mongering against other colors when they should stand together as a kingdom and they have bigger threats to worry about like the Windarians so they shouldn't be separating each other.

This has public belief divided and most Mistericans torn on what they should believe and it causes a political divide to deepen further between those who side more with The Crown and those who side more with The Church.

And if it doesn't make the divide worse, The Crown backs its claims so thoroughly that 70% of the Palace's employ are Mistericans of the colors Green, Pink and Brown. As if the Royal Family just needs to make a point.

In truth there are no Misterican less than to one another and the Church is fear mongering for it's own gain, but that's another post. Colorism runs the kingdom rampant and has for many many years and it's only become worse since Hopea Sumu's family has come into power.

#tw; long post #topic: misterica #topic: misterican religion #topic: misterican government #topic: misterican religious council #topic: misterican royal family #topic: mistercan culture #topic: mist #topic: tiamat #tw; colorism #tw; prejudice #tw; discrimination #// surprise surprise - the mistericans born / raised in the palace show the least amount of colorism #// green misterican get it the worst because their mist can kill #// revon - kumo's bodyguard (he's green) even shows internalized colorism towards himself #// colorism is not a good thing and they need to fix it #// but i also can't ignore it and pretend it's not there #// they arent a perfect society #// it took me a week to write this

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monstrouslyobsessed · 8 days ago

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uhhh i got bombed in my askbox. i'm not complaining though, but some of these are a bit hard to answer. regardless, i'll compile them into one post so i don't litter people's dashboard!

this is a long post so it's all under the cut.

Hey, in the Beastfolks world it has happened that a Beastfolk kill a human? Is there a famous example of something that happened simular to this situation in this fictional world? —anonymous

uhhhhh...

wars had happened. the zoo outbreaks had happened. even accidental deaths had happened. just to name a few. so there are really no one specific example i can use for this one. unless you're talking about the time after everything had been worked out on most parts, where some semblance of equality finally existed between the two races?

because of how valuable the humans are in the modern eras, those murderers would most likely get a death sentence, but it also highly dependent on the context behind the human's death. was it accident? were the beastfolk driven by instinct to attack the human*? was it out of greed? desperation? bloodlust?

*example, if beastfolk was expecting a child. was caring for their sick spouse, was ill themselves, etc. and the unfortunate human was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

“human who married another human (need a term for this one)” You already found a term for this? When a human marry another human… they suffer prejudice? When society becomes more modern, this will became a taboo? —anonymous

i still haven't, actually. coming up with terms i'm happy with is a lot harder than i expected tbh. currently, 'normies' and 'interspecies marriage' are the placeholder terms. i'm not satisfied with them, but they'll do for now. i'll happily take suggestions though!

and no, as i've stated in other posts (which I'm certain you've read through), beastfolks rely on human productions to produce more…well, more beastfolks, so human marriage is still encouraged (though some regions try to keep these 'human factories' a closed secret). however, you'd be more likely to find them in the human-sanctioned areas than in mixed communities.

marriage does provide some levels of protection against a beastfolk's claim, especially when there are already children involved. but, again, this varies by regions too. in more conservative beastfolk slash mixed race areas, marriage doesn't provide much, while progressive does.

“cheating is extremely taboo in beastfolk society--far more so than ours, where it's often forgotten within a few months. It's so taboo for the beastfolks that it's often a lifetime of shaming. even incest isn't as looked down upon to that extreme.” Why incest isn’t so looked down as Cheating? —anonymous

this is likely more to do with their history and beliefs slash religions.

if you are familiar with the irl tragic history of cheetahs, something similar occurred in the beastfolk history. multiple tribes faced extinction and starvation, often isolated from others in wasteland areas, so they practiced incest to continue their lineage. don't get me wrong, this is not a widely accepted practice in the modern eras, but most beastfolks who know their history generally understood that there was no other choice.

plus there are species where inbreeding saw less negative consequences than others, typically in birds (wingedfolks and featheredfolk), reptiles and amphibians (scaledfolk), and fish (seafolk). in some cases, incest had to do with certain folks' original cultural upbringings. so for some beastfolks, it's just easier not to judge.

that said, again, this is not encouraged--particularly since some experts theorized that inbreeding may be the prime reason for beastfolks' struggle to maintain their population. it's just not viewed as harshly as cheating is.

most of their faiths essentially started the same way--with incest between siblings born on a newborn earth, with no other living beings aside than themselves. together, they started to populate the earth.

many of the original verses were either lost, altered, or translated differently over time that they spawned multiple religions. in more recent eras, however, a new belief emerged where people believed that one sibling was a lone human while others were originally actual beasts--which lend to beastfolks their ability to walk and talk like us humans and be more humanoid in appearance. still, incest remained a constant, since…none of them were said to have any parent other than the one deity whose name differed across other scriptures.

so, their religion beliefs and history are the reasons why beastfolks just don't bat an eye at incest nearly as much as they do at cheating.

“the brothels back then that featured both human and beastfolks employees were often made 'illegal'—especially since any sort of intimate relations were looked at negatively. this is the era where the possibility of humans bearing/providing full beastfolk was being "discovered", still, while being scoffed at. “ Who had the idea to create these brothels? The humans or the Beastfolks? The demand for these types of “services” is greater for the Beastfolks or the humans? —anonymous

if you're familiar with our irl history, you'll know that brothels have existed for a very long time--since the beginning of human civilization. this is also true for my beastfolk au, so there's no real way to pinpoint the actual answer. even before the segregation between humans and beastfolk thousands of years ago, brothels were common.

in our history, there had been times where brothels were considered sacred, so it's the same with beastfolk. like us, our viewpoints on the brothels had shifted from positive to negative over the centuries, it's the same for them too. things worsened just a bit before the zoo era when the segregation barrier was compromised, and mixed brothels faced many restrictions and attempts to outlaw them.

also, it's because of the centuries/thousands-long segregation that the truth about the human's capability to carry the beastfolk's children had been lost over time and was thought to be a myth. so this was messy too.

but honestly, this is a complicated one to answer, because there are multiple regions in this au and things happened differently across countries. the main country where i tend to tell my stories, Applachia (the stand-in for the US), saw the divide so extreme that each race thought the other as fictional. granted, Applachia is an enormous country and in the past, the communications with other countries were vastly more limited--more so than ours.

reasons are long, but i reckon that the seafolks might carry a lot of weight to blocking the Applachians' attempts to explore the world and didn't take until long distance flight became feasible post zoo eras.

i'm rambling, so i'll get back on the course.

as for the last question for this one--

i'd say the same, though for humans, beastfolks are harder to come by due to their strengths and/or abilities. they do exist though.

What was the first public couple between a human and a beastfolk in history? Like, the first couple that was truly open, and everyone knew they were together. —anonymous

hard to answer tbh. if this is well before the zoo era, they'd be dismissed as myths or jokes. but if after, where technology is becoming more common-- like, say, with a heavy box tv in your home where you can watch black-and-white movies? probably the first known 'humanfucker' film. its director was openly involved with a human spouse--though granted, that movie itself probably portrays human characters in a very questionable light.

not sure, but i do imagine that director became famous because of how scandalous the concept of romancing a human was.

“one thing for certain, humans made a great effort not to wage wars with beastfolks because they’d get dominated very easily by their strengths alone. instead, humans used all kinds of underhanded tactics to weaken and derive beastfolks from their essentials, such as poisoning their wellwaters, stealing their (animal) livestocks, fucking with the soil so nothing can grow, etc. until humans managed to throw some kind of chemicals enough to finally weaken most of the beastfolks to throw them in all sorts of zoos. some unlucky fews went in the “facility” for experiments. all this occurred within the past one hundred years for them, probably far less that.” What species were unlucky to be send to the facility? What the facility did to these Beastfolks? —anonymous

??? any they encountered and could capture (keywords: could capture) back then would be sent to the zoo facility. it's essentially a prison where humans can gawk at the residents there (as in, it's literally a zoo). it's a degrading place to be for beastfolks, more so if one zoo is underfunded and keep its residents in under-stimulating conditions.

i know my writing isn't always clear, but i've spoke about the zoos fairly often…

“it really depends on where you are and what cultural setting are there. but it’s usually being assaulted by another beastfolk when the human’s already mated and attacking a married human / couple. i’d have to think more about this one though, it’s a bit of complicated question to answer given all the answers i gave before in other posts.” Why would another Beastfolk attack a married human/couple? This Beastfolk that attacked could be send to the jail? Why this is so common? All Beastfolks do that? —anonymous

some of these details were spoken earlier above. marriage protections. they're not always foolproof, but in more progressive regions in progressive eras, assailants can go to prison for their attacks--

and mind you, attacks can also refer to…coercion involving the human's body. i try and avoid using the term since i know some of my readers are sensitive, and tumblr is a little odd about the usage of that said word. but it can either mean that the attacker wanting the human for themselves--or is offended about their relationships.

but no, not all of the beastfolks behave this way. in fact, probably around 80% of them are decent folks who manage their instincts well. the rest though, well, they're physically stronger and more dangerous than any human.

“when it comes down to it, it’s really depends on who they are, their beliefs, and if they’re involved in their tribe’s ways of life. you may expect this one particular bear beastfolk to be a human-eater, but nah, they’re a humanfucker who is probably hunting for a perfect human they can call their own. same goes how you may expect that rabbit beastfolk over there to adore fucking humans from left to right, but no, they downright hated humankind and would probably be involved in a fighting ring with humans killing each other for their lives and making bets.” These fighting rings still exist? Who controls them? There is a human victorious? —anonymous

uhhhhh, that was just an example to describe how different people can be regardless of their species. but i wouldn't be surprised if a human actually ran these fighting rings. there's no one right answer, because anyone can run anything in the underbelly if they have enough money, know the right people, and know good hiding places.

“notably, most canid beastfolks, from wolves, foxes, hyenas, etc. are among the most common to take humans as breeding mates and pets than to eat them. aquatic species, like sharks and turtles, very rarely mates with humans, largely due to incompatibility for humans to live in underwater but there had been several reports of successful mating / breeding with them happening in the past” What reports of successful mating/breeding with the aquatic species? Can you explain more about this please? —anonymous

i don't think they'd be known for a good long while tbh, until the internet was invented and became more widespread. the first known case was probably a human charming a shark seafolk and working together to communicate. this one would probably be fairly old though, read like an adorable fairy tale with a happy ending.

though whether if they had children together remains unanswered.

you'd probably see more cases if the human residents were already living on the coastline long enough to catch a seafolk's attention--though there would be more incidents of humans dying from accidental drownings, too. sealions would likely be more common seafolks (though many still debate whether they should be called as such because they're more akin to clawedfolk/fangedfolk due to their natures and anatomy) to mate with their chosen humans, since they requires air to live and can move on land decently enough.

besides sealions, probably octopus and dolphin-based seafolks would also be more likely to mate with humans because of their intelligences. though as far as the public knows, only dolphins saw successful breeding with humans. it's still in progress with the octopuses.

“—human meats are made illegal though due to the questions of the humans’ welfares and butchering conditions, but it’s one of those laws most politicians, both beastfolks and humans, sort of turned a blind eye on though. interestingly enough, meats from certain beastfolks aren’t as illegal as humans though for some reasons.” What reasons? —anonymous

meat-eaters. pigs. cows. chickens. to name a few examples.

certain races doesn't mind cannibalism either.

like…look at the irl pigs. they really got no issues eating their sick/dead kins and got no qualm on eating their fallen farmers alive. that said, with certain beastfolks, it's an open (or closed, depending on the regions and such) secret.

however, this practice is being phased out in the modern eras, when there are domestic animals readily available for consumption.

“suppose a beastfolk fell in love with one of the parlor’s workers, they can purchase that human to keep though. depending on the age and ‘quality’ of the human, they may be very expensive to buy—or very cheap.” What makes a human cheap and a human expensive to buy? —anonymous

how old are they? had they been pregnant and given birth before? are they untouched? are they healthy or sick? are they thin or overweight? are they able-bodied or disabled? etc.

this can be regional and cultural too.

that said, some beastfolks really like the meat on their chosen human's bones, so weight (and differing beauty standards) doesn't hold much bearing on the price tag. it's primarily health and age that matters the most to them.

“that said, most the beastfolks are actually much bigger than humans are, both in height and in size. the biggest ones (on land) are usually bears, deer, horses, and whatnot. of course there are exceptions where some beastfolks are just born freakishly small (because like us, they have genetic faults too).” Generally, what is the height of Beastfolks by species? —anonymous

it's….kind of scaled with real-life animals in some ways.

for example, if tigers are bigger than us, then the tiger-based whiskeredfolk'd be taller than humans. dolphin-based seafolks, on the other hand, would likely be our height.

now, if it's a mouse-based toothedfolk? they'd be a bit smaller than us.

however, for massive animals like an elephant- or a horse-based hooved folks or even orca-based seafolks, they would be smaller than their bestial counterparts in order to mingle more safely with the rest of our shared society, but they would still be far bigger than humans.

so, there are some consistent standards for each species of beastfolks. of course, there are always some exceptions to the rules, just like with humans as i've already mentioned.

“i’m sure it’s becoming a general thumb of rule in the modern society to keep distance from a beastfolk and their mate, especially if they’re visibly pregnant. fyi there are afab beastfolks with amab darlings, so it won’t be rare common sights to see a pregnant beastfolk with their mate too—just don’t expect their human to do the snarling, its usually the beastfolk being extremely territorial of their mate and their unborn baby/ies regardless of what gender they’re passing as.” Why they so territorial? —anonymous

because…they're still animals in instincts? in real life, when they're expecting or in season, they generally gets aggressive. same still applies here to beastfolk.

“internet does exist, yes! humans are the ones who invented it/computers still though (which was one of many reasons why humans still get some independences, because of their intelligences—beastfolks generally dont see them as emotionally intelligent though but i digress since thats for another post). “ Why Beastfolks don’t see humans as emotionally intelligent? —anonymous

humans are emotional creatures who tends to struggle with regulating their emotions. in general, we face a lot of inner conflicts and often strives in superficial relationships (teenager dramas comes to mind tbh). many of us experience mental health issues, and we frequently allow our emotions to cloud our judgements.

…that sounds a lot like beastfolks too lol

beastfolks generally shy away at the first sign of issues with people they don't know and/or don't have to deal with on a regular basis. but, they often are…not very emotionally aware at times and are highly driven by their instincts, while humans tend to be more self-aware in comparison.

in conclusion, how they viewed humans largely stems from their upbringing.

“so, yes! frollo scenario wouldn’t be too farfetched at all and heck, may have happened more than several times. might’ve couple movies and novels out of it too, but at least the rabbit priest would see some sort of “happy” ending when frollo himself found his death. his “happy” ending though doesn’t necessarily mean happiness for his poor human lol” What movies and novels? Could you elaborate more about this please? —anonymous

this is a reference from an old disney file, the hunchback of notre dame! i'd recommend watching it; it's a good movie with a twisted villain named frollo obsessed with one beautiful poc character, esmeralda <3 for many people, it's their first introduction to male yandere!

keep in mind, though, that it's an old movie, so it's far from politically correct. the term, g-psy, is considered a slur today, and other examples portrayed in the film aren't accurate representations of the beautiful Romanian culture.

so, just be aware of that and you'll be fine.

okay thats all for now! hopefully this answers your questions, nonnie! sorry that some of them aren't to your satisfactory tho, they're tricky ones, especially with how big my au is.

whoops.

anyway, my inbox is always open. <3 now off to work my very late halloween thing...sighs.

#not writing #answered #ghosts are curious.👻#☠️not writing...#anonymous #asked #☠️monster is whispering...#beastfolk au #beastfolk #beastfolks #long post #discrimination #tw incest mention #tw religious themes #worldbuilding #tw death mention #tw assault mention #tw racism #tw xenophobia

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allthecanadianpolitics · 1 year ago

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Members of Canada’s Muslim community expressed disappointment this week at the eight-year sentence handed to a man who attacked worshippers at a Toronto-area mosque, arguing it wasn’t strong enough to discourage similar violence in the future.

Imam Ibrahim Hindy said the attack last year at the Dar Al-Tawheed Islamic Centre in Mississauga, Ont. — which involved bear spray, a hatchet and was found to have been intended as a mass casually event — has left the community with long-lasting psychological pain.

Full article

Tagging: @politicsofcanada

#cdnpoli #canadian politics #canadian news #canadian #canada #ontario #mississauga #islamophobia #violence #religious discrimination #islamophobic violence #islamophobia tw #violence tw #religious discrimination tw #islamophobic violence tw

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sins-of-the-sea · 10 months ago

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Shame on you, child! That pogrom has nothing to do with you! You’re not even a victim! You’re just some wannabe savior of an issue far greater than you are. Count your blessings the Church decided to let you live. (for child Josep, I’M SORRY IMMY PLEASE I ASSURE YOU IM NOT LIKE THIS OOC)

"NO ONE DESERVES TO BE KILLED FOR THEIR FAITH!! The pogrom may have nothing to do with me, but they were still my friends! They did nothing wrong! The Church is in the wrong! The Spanish Inquisition is in the wrong! I'll bet they are the reason why Carles had to die! I'll fight them! I'll fight the entire Inquisition!! I'll take it all up to the Crown, even! And I know I won't be alone!"

Except Josep would soon learn... immediately and for the next few centuries...

He would be alone. And no one would appreciate or acknowledge his efforts.

#ASOIFASHFOH I COULDN'T WAIT TO ANSWER THIS #DON'T WORRY AAAAAAA YOU'RE GOOD BRUV #antisemitism tw #violence tw #death tw #religious discrimination tw #religious trauma tw #[Captain Josep Frascona]#[Tiny Pep]

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normal-with-adhd-is-a-joke · 1 year ago

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there's a "tulpa" blog called @/protectingtuplas posting in the cpunk and cfs tags so I recommend blocking them if disability faking/transabled shit is a trigger for you.

#transabled tw #disability faking tw #ableism tw #for those of you unaware tulpamancy is a religious practice where someone conjures a separate person to occupy their mind alongside them #it's a real religious aspect that shouldn't be mocked or discriminated against but finding an actual practicing tulpamancer is rare #tulpas here on tumblr mainly believe that being a system is a choice and erase the suffering that many systems face #they're the same as most disability fakers and transabled in that they want all the positives of having a condition and none of the negativ #and when people call them out on that they claim to be oppressed

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mysuperdupersecretsideblog · 1 year ago

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I've always known I like girls.

My first fictional crushes were girls, and my first real life crushes were girls.

I was outed when I was 11 because someone in my small, conservative, religious town saw me kissing my first girlfriend and I decided to own it because going back in the closet wouldn't do anything since everyone already knew.

So I came out as bisexual.

I only ever kissed, cuddled and held hands with people I dated between the ages of 11-13.

When I started highschool at 14 though, I actually started sleeping with people.

Guys and girls.

Thing was, I was always drunk, high, or both when with guys and half the time with girls.

I slept around A LOT.

I was very neutral to all sex when high or drunk, no matter who I was with.

i was only ever sober with some gorls and I enjoyed that and didn't even process that I had never been sober with a guy.

When exploring my own likes and interest through porn, dating sims, etc, I always found myself leaning more towards women but didn't fully connect.

I also, in highschool, found out about pansexuality and started identifying with that more so than with bisexuality.

So I was pan.

Around this time(16), I came out as trans and started identifying with he/him pronouns.

That confused me about my sexuality even more.

For a very short period of time, I identified as a straight trans man, but then I saw a pretty boy and when back to pan.

Eventually it changed again, I settled on demiromantic, pansexual, upon realizing that I was still very neutral to sex no matter what(I was still crossfaded 90% of the time) but that it was hard for me to properly connect emotionally to anyone until I got really used to them.(This was really mostly guys though. I wasn't with many girls at the time because I was getting physically assaulted for being queer and thought it'd be safer if I dated a lot of guys.)

It went that way for a long time.

Finally, at 23, after a death in my family, my stepdad, who had made it clear he didn't like my sexuality, gender identity, or religion, used that as an excuse to kick me out of the house.

I told my friends about this and some of them panic bought me a plane ticket to their state. So I moved halfway across the country and am living with them now.

Since I've been here, I've had room to explore myself and who I am without having overly scrutinizing eyes watching my every move.

I've realized that I am not a trans man and am actually genderqueer(It/They) and, after having sex for the first time SOBER with a guy and

not feeling neutral

in fact feeling disgusted and kinda sick afterwards

I decided maybe HE was just bad at it.

Despite him actually managing to pull out all the stops and make me cum twice.

Still grasping onto my heteronormativity like a lifeline.

Then another guy.

Great friend.

We date for a while.

Everytime he tries to do anything further than kissing and I actually feel sick.

I hook up with a girl I know as a one time thing.

It feels so right and amazing.

A wonderful experience.

Reminded me of the little flashes of enjoyment in the sober experiences with girls in highschool.

And I finally realized it.

I only like women.

I don't feel right using lesbian to define myself though.

As an afab enby individual, I feel uncomfortable pushing so much implied femininity into my label.

I know that there are a lot of enbys who identify as lesbians and that's fine. I'm happy they have a label that they are comfortable with. It just doesn't suit me, personally.

I did some research, looking up sexualities that define an individual who is not a woman or a man, who loves women.

i finally found it.

Donnasexual

An unaligned nonbinary person who is attracted to exclusively women.

#coming out #I think #sapphic #nblw #queer #lgbt #lgbtqia+#nonbinary #transgender #donnasexual #donnaromantic #realization #my story #gay #tw mentions of homophobia #tw mentions of abuse #tw mentions of transphobia #tw mention of religious discrimination #long post

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