#reevaluate your values goes crazy

[reamed]

the attention of an unimpressive man should never be more important than your own self worth/comfort and bodily autonomy.

[zendyval]

I resonated with what you said about feeling like you feel like the Z defender when it's not like that. Yes, I am a huge fan, she is my favorite actor. I like the personality, morals, and values she has allowes us to see. One of the main reasons I stan is I think she is one of the few celebs in the world who would stick by their values and morals and sacrifice for them if push comes to shove. There is plenty of evidence from her past actions to back up my claim. I really like how she handles herself as a celebrity and does not get swept up by the whole lifestyle that makes you think and feel better than everyone else. She does not have a destructive or negative ego. Saying all that like you I am not a cult follower. If Z were ever to say something homophobic, capitalist i.e. putting down workers, or say something ignorant about dark skin black women and other things that go against my morals and values I would not stan. She would still be my favorite actor because we all like problematic faves but the way I feel about her now would not be the same. I say that as a hypocrite because I have family members that I speak to and even love that have morals and values different from mine and I work with people who have different views of the world and I have not quit my job. But that's ok for me because life is complicated and gray. Also as a black woman myself, I empathize with her so much. I have an idea of what she goes through even though I am not a celeb and she has a lot more eyes on her. Like you, I see her as human and when I see people putting her on the pedestal they say she puts on herself by having unrealistic expectations on how she acts and looks I will defend her. Some Z stans have been swept up by Tomdaya, her relationships with other men or allow anons to changed their tunes because they got tired of people coming into their inbox questioning why they stan or defend her or nip tick her behavior so much that they themselves start doing the same or allowing people to get away with really disgraceful and disrespectful stuff under the cloak of joking or satire. That all to say I appreciate your consistency. I have never seen you as a blind follower just fair on how you judge the black woman and not having anons drive you off is really commendable. And like you there are a lot of male actors or celebs I like, but I would have to stop liking every single female actor or celeb in the world before I start staning or consider a man my fav.

Thanks for sharing and no, anons don't really get to me at all. I'm with you. If Z ever said or did something I couldn't look past, I would gladly call her out on it and have to reevaluate. Also just because she's human, I'm sure there will be little things. Maybe not major values that misalign, but everybody makes small missteps occasionally.

The weird thing about Z is I've been following her so long that I don't pretend to know her or how she feels about things offline, but she's been so steady and consistent over the years that I never really worry about her coming out with some crazy viewpoint. For instance when all the slap nonsense happened at the Oscars, I knew 100% that Z was going to stay quiet and mind her business and there is a comfort in that.

Sometimes I'll get really into other actors or actresses or whoever for awhile and if they are new to me there is always a period of really hoping I don't find out they are an asshole or a secret right wing crazy person or some other craziness. With Z, I'm good.

[snarkywrites]

June Horoscopes 2020

June shows signs that this moment will be a transformative time because of the Full Moon Eclipse on the 5th and the Solar Eclipse on the 21st. Social orders and revolts happening now. People have had enough. Chapters will close but new ones will begin. Cycles are also ending and beginning. Cancer represents Cardinal Water, a lesson in emotional control and stability. We have probably let ourselves be guided by our anger and pain, but now we work with it to form the good and to help strengthen ourselves. The waves are revolting, we are fighting and pushing back. As a Cardinal sign, it is also powerful. This is a sign that is not afraid to express themselves but will also fight back. We nurture ourselves during this season, we regenerate, and we try once again to stand tall. Venus in Gemini will soon end its long transit, as we get through the second half of the transit this month when the planet goes direct on the 25th. How we view love will change, how we view relationships will change, how we view friends and family will also change as well. Most importantly, how we view Government and order. 2020 has been a year of unexpected changes, a call to our inner power and strength. With the Sun entering Cancer later this month, we can only expect a maturity of our emotions and how to better deal with the nightmare that COVID and racism have wrought onto the world. For now, we will explore empowering ourselves through emotional care and healing.

Please stay safe out there.

Aries – This month will bring questions and a little of the anxious energy associated with Gemini Season. Get your head back in the game and let those defeatist thoughts leave you. The Venus Retrograde will make you more confident with expression. Your card for the month is The Empress. Trust your intuition and if you want to create and build, now is the time to do it. The efforts you put in now will begin to unfold as the year continues to progress, but it needs a little boost of confidence from you. Mercury will be retrograde in the sign of Cancer on the 18th, making you want to bite your tongue at home or near loved ones. You might be more emotional now due to the energy this Cardinal Water season will be bringing. Cancer energy burns the flame within you, so this is a good time to be more in tune with your emotional side through meditation to get yourself pumped up again. Mars will be entering your sign on the 27th and it will stay there until January 2021. Emotions will be ignited, so this is the month to learn how to be more patient because anything will easily set you off, especially when Mars squares Saturn in the next couple of months. Trust your process and consider new outlets to release your frustration and anger that will surely be building if you do not find ways to control it now. Patience is key this month.

Taurus – The Five of Wands Reversed appeared in your reading for the month of June. Resolve those inner conflicts and bring yourself back to a place where you can boost your own confidence. When Mars enters Aries on the 27th, that pent up anger might explode, so consider this a time to learn to feel peace and dive into some meditation for guidance. June is the month you will put things into action, getting your plans going with the Cardinal energy that Cancer has to offer. Your mind will be sharper than ever with the Sun entering the sign on the 20th, giving you the tools needed to perfect your craft and the inspiration will be provided by the Mercury Retrograde beginning on the 18th. Explore your creative potential since it will be shining brightly, but first you need to feel the confidence boost within you to get things done. Venus will be going direct on the 25th, bringing a more manageable relationship with you and your finances. Lessons you have learned will be applied here since you will have greater understanding regarding your value and what you are willing to bring into the table.

Gemini – Your birthday season is here, so Happy Birthday! This will be a memorable season for you given that Venus will still be retrograde until mid-June. You are learning about your values, worth and how it impacts your relationships. The Eight of Swords appeared in your reading, showing that you might be the one who is holding yourself back. The energy of this month is filled with anxious thoughts and ideas, but just take the moment to relax your mind and control those thoughts that might be racing at lightning speed. June is a month of growth for you, evaluating and understanding. Love will take on a new meaning with Venus going direct on the 25th, bringing an end to this crazy retrograde period. The Full Moon Eclipse on the 5th will have you considering how your financial future will be in the next several months. On the 18th, Mercury will enter the sign of Cancer, bringing more focus to your worth. Do not be discouraged if things are not going as planned, this is a month of evaluation, confidence rebuilding and planning. Be patient, you will shine this month.

Cancer – On the 18th, Mercury will be retrograde in your sign, causing some confusion and frustrating moments with technology for you. The Sun will be entering your sign on the 20th, finally letting you get motivated enough to tackle on challenges. This is the first Cardinal Water season we have, and we are all ready for action. Your card for the month is the Five of Swords Reversed. Stop the drama and the conflict, this can be a time of reconciliation and peace if you are willing to accept apologize or make them. Venus will go direct on the 25th, bringing calm into your world since Venus has been teaching you to handle things privately and without distractions. Venus reminds you of the comforts you give yourself in private as well as those relationships you have had hidden from others. With Venus going direct, you might bring some of those personal moments to light or be inspired enough to transfer those emotions into a project. The month of June will have many people reevaluating their emotions, their goals and will have others doubting their potential. However, you will be feeling reenergized, drive and ready for your next phase.

Leo – The Knight of Wands is in your reading for the month of June. Fitting since you are feeling the shift as you only have one more month until your time to shine arrives. This can be one of those moments where you might feel trapped and unsure with Mercury retrograding in the sign of Cancer on the 18th. Searching for what you want, and your confidence will be a struggle when the Sun enters on the 20th. Still, you will want to feel the passion, the flames igniting within even if we are in the water season. This Venus Retrograde was making a square to Neptune, making you question your friendships, relationships, and other people in your life. When Venus goes direct on the 25th, you will be able to clearly see the motives of others and your impulse to spend will be stopped for now. The end of the month will be Saturn’s return to Capricorn, presenting a brief relief since your sign will not feel the opposition again until Saturn goes back in Aquarius in December. Those lessons learned in this last three months will be prominent again later in the year, but for now, you will feel less stress and an easier flow of energy.

Virgo – Mercury is your ruler and it has been the hot topic of the year with Venus’ Retrograde in fellow Mercury sign, Gemini. However, your retrograde experience will probably have been more focused on work and perception. The Hierophant appears in your reading, showing you are looking towards a more spiritual path through a mentor or on your own. This is the month of reminiscing the past and how those actions have led to your current state. There will be a lot of growth and understanding. Mercury will be retrograde on the 18th in the sign of Cancer, pushing you to get in touch with friends from the past or you might realize you miss them. With the Sun entering the sign of Cancer on the 20th, you will be in a more confident position to socialize and get in touch with others. The Neptune Retrograde on the 23rd will impact you more than more since it is in your house of partnerships, finally not making a square to Venus. The façade, the illusions and the mirrors will all be taken down when it comes to your perception of potential romantic partners, get ready for a dose of reality when Venus goes direct on the 25th, making you focus on matters of truth and your time in the limelight.

Libra – Gemini Season will be one of learning and growth. You have had a lot of lessons thrown at you with Saturn in Capricorn’s transit creating some stressors to your sign. Now you are on the road to empowerment and strength with Saturn’s retrograde ready to go back in Capricorn early next month. For now, Venus has taught you what you need to do for the future, who you need to keep in your life and how to tap into your inner power. The Mercury Retrograde on the 18th will put you front and center with the world, so be careful with what you say during this transit since all eyes will be on you, same with the Sun’s entry in Cancer, it can be a very beneficial time for more opportunities, so make sure to do things right. With the Seven of Wands appearing in your reading, you are in warrior mode and ready to show others that you are not willing to stop fighting for what you want. This is your moment to protect what is yours with pride and to shine without fear.

Scorpio – We are in the second water season of the year this month, with the Sun and Mercury entering the sign of Cancer, making you more attune with learning, discovery, and achievement. You are setting up the groundwork for centerstage for next month. The Venus Retrograde will still be going strong until June 25th when it goes direct. You have discovered what changes need to be made, what topics related to Venus and your foundations needed to be addressed and with these answers, you are now ready to cultivate and you may or may not have mastered the art of keeping the purse closed. Venus might have pressured you to spend and now you must save. The Mercury Retrograde on the 18th is in fellow water sign, Cancer making you want to analyze your direction for this month and the remainder of the year. The World appears as a sign that changes will come, and things are or will go the way you want them to. A time for celebration of your successes and accomplishments are within your grasp; you have either graduated, received a promotion, or will soon have another form of accolade that you can include in your resume.

Sagittarius – June promises to be a memorable month for many Sagittarius Risings and Suns because these changes will be transforming the way you view relationships, goals and your own needs and wants. This Venus Retrograde was about digging deeper into the past, reliving those old unfulfilling relationships and appreciating the good ones in our lives. Sagittarians will know what to look for moving forward. Mercury will be retrograde in the sign of Cancer on the 18th, bringing issues to light regarding financial management and stability. On the 20th, when the Sun enters the sign of Cancer, you will be a little more obsessive with these issues but will feel more confident handling them with the Jupiter opposition in Capricorn. It will be an emotional rollercoaster, but you will be able to settle things. Your card for the month is the Ace of Pentacles in the Reverse. It is a sluggish time for you, where you do not feel like you have the energy to get anything accomplished. The tides will change later this month when Mars enters fiery Aries on the 27th and you will feel a little more ambitious, driven, and passionate to achieve some new goals.

Capricorn – This will be the last month before Saturn goes back to your sign. You had your brief break but now it will be business as usual for the next several months until December 2020. The month will begin with a Full Moon Eclipse in the 5th, bringing focus into arts of you connected to health and work. Your card for the month is the Nine of Swords which is synonymous to what you will experience this Gemini Season. It might feel like you are taking on more work than the usual and without any rest or breaks, you might dive into an anxiety zone. Remember to take it easy after this Full Moon because it can make you feel more tired than usual since it will be opposed your house of routine. When the Sun enters the sign of Cancer on the 20th, you will be tempted to reevaluate relationships and if you are single, you might want to consider partnering up if you are not feeling satisfied. This is a time of reawakening, learning, and experiencing the changes in your path for the remaining of the year. Things that are not bringing the satisfaction and happiness will be removed with Saturn’s return to Capricorn. These changes can be a wonderful thing, one step closer to feeling invigorated and filled with hope.

Aquarius – Saturn is still in your sign, making you want to make some drastic changes as you are forced to reevaluate. Take it easy for now. This Gemini Season promises to bring a wave of creative inspiration into your life as you connect with other likeminded folks who want to excel as much as you do. The Full Moon eclipse in the 5th of June will be a powerful one, as you understand some lessons associated with the themes of communicating, friendship and even romance. This Venus Retrograde will make you reevaluate relationships and how you approach your dating life moving forward. Venus direct on the 25th will bring the ah-ha moment you have dreamt of. A time of maturity is also on the horizon with Saturn allowing you to see what was hidden for quite some time. When Mars enters the sign of Aries on June 27th, you will want to start minding your words since you will lack the tact when expressing your thoughts. Your card for the month is the Three of Pentacles which wants you to build and create with others.

Pisces – You might feel a little homebound with all of these planets in Gemini currently squaring your sign, letting you know that changes must be made to your inner world and what others see when they look at you. The fear of missing out on accomplishments could cloud you mind this month, especially with the Full Moon Eclipse happening on June 5th. Use this period to reevaluate and make changes. The Mercury Retrograde will begin June 18th, a few days before the Sun enters the sign of Cancer, bringing a new period of fun and excitement after the gloom. Again, rethink, revaluate and plan some more to get things adjusted. Venus will remain in the sign of Gemini, allowing you to maintain some form of harmony and stability in the home front. This can be a good thing for you as it will help bring comfort to your anxiety and more of a balanced approach for creating your future path. Your card for the month is the Four of Wands Reversed. Expect the unexpected and do not count yourself out. Victories will be delayed but you are still in the game.

[darklove9314-blog]

Nesta:A fae with a human heart part 12

Alright let's get into what I think is a key factor in what is happneing to Nesta and Cassian's relationship, Whicb is that Nesta was born human. and even though she turned fae doesn't mean she still doesn't want to keep that human side of her, Remember the library scene in ACOWAR when Nesta says that they don't respect any of their values or traditions. I think this may also play a factor. You see when you have a lot of differences and grew up in two seprate ways it takes compromise and balance to keep the relationship going. My hugest problem is that everyone is trying to push Nesta to accept the fae side of herself and let go of Her more human side, which Nesta never wants to lose. She loved being human. Sure she didn't have the best circumstance, but her choices were at least somewhat hers and she could be made a name for herself but as a fae she feels stuck. like an outsider looking in. She's struggled to accept her fae side more than Elain and Feyre have because she has a hard time adjusting to new circumstances. it happens to a lot of people.

And believe it or not, Nesta has lost nearly all her comnections to the human lands. The place where she grew up and thought she would grow old in. It really hurt her to lose that and now she tries to find whatever connection she can hold onto. Hence her choice of apartment, possibly talking to the citzens of the night court who don't have it that easy, her books,her right to chose who she loses her virginity to, and last but not least the solstice gift.

Now Nesta has already stated that they don't celebrate holidays in the human lands and Nesta no matter how much people want to perceive her as such doesn't strike me as a materialistic type. I think rejecting the gift was about way more than the fact that Cassian hadn't been talking to her, maybe she found it as another way of disregarding her values and traditions.or maybe she was also reluctant to take it because there were so many around her that still had nothing at all. She didn't know Cassian had spent months searching for it. How could she possibly know that? and she may have even accepted it, if he had not given it to her in private. Now I knkw Nesta is a private person. However Nesta is already questioning if Cassian feels ashamed of his feelings for her. And giving it to her in private might have worsened those feelings. We also don’t know who told the IC about Nesta having sex in the first place. That’s a private and personal thing. Another reason Nesta may have been sleeping with people is because she was feeling numb. She was searching for something, anything to make her feel better. To evoke any feeling she could. Remember how in Nesta’s apartment she was looking at the check to try to evoke her shame emotion, because all she felt on rare occasions was her anger. What if sleeping with all the males was another way she was trying to evoke her shame??Also she also states that she would drink herself to sleep at night to avoid the nightmares. Nightmares that are probably so horrific that it caused her to not sleep much at all. If at all. So yeah I can see why overall she rejected his gift and even if those factors weren’t there it’s within Nesta’s basic rights to reject Cassian’s advances. it’s not bitchy. It’s a basic right one of very few she still has. Now let’s get to another point that I’m going to make, the mating bond is not helping them. Yes Cassian thinks it’s this beautiful thing but that’s not the case with most mating bonds. To Nesta she observes everything. She observed how all these woman despite if they wanted to be with their mate or not felt pressured by their societal views to accept their bond to further their line (aka Rhysand’s parents, Tamlin’s parents, and the lady of the autumn court) Even Elain is being pressured to accept hers despite her and Lucien hardly having anything in common and both not being each other’s type. Why would Nesta think her bond was any different?? There’s very few examples of any of them accepting it for love. Therefore reminding her of what she went through with Tomas in the human lands. Now we know Cassian isn’t Tomas, but people tend to forget that for a while at least Nesta deluded herself into thinking he cared about her. Only to find out that he was a monster when he refused to go help her save Feyre and when he sexually assaulted her (He was also abusive. hence Nesta not liking when people touch her and how Feyre said Nesta flinched from peoples touch) So of course any relationship she’s goes in going forward she’s going to be cautious about and why wouldn’t she??She hasn’t had the worst experience with men and them taking things from her, Hence the fierce loyalty she has for respecting others choices no matter how stupid they may be. And I would also like to bring up a section of Wings and Embers, a section that led up to most of what happened between Nesta and Cassian. There was one line after Nesta and Cassian had questioned if someone had hurt Nesta because he saw the fear on her face. She asks if it would change his opinion of her if someone had, make him treat her differently. (She doesn’t want anyone to feel sympathy towards her remember that Nesta hates it when people fake liking her) and he tells her that he would shatter every bone in their body. Which she proceeds to respond with you hardly know me why would you do that for me and he tells her he would do it for anyone. It was that sincerity that made her see him differently. Sure it also drove her crazy because it reminded her of her own faults, but that does tend to happen. And then she thinks about how Cassian sees her. All of her. The side that she tends to hide people where most human men only saw her body. She also tells Cassian that men had been pawing at her since she had been fourteen. Remember how she said that some of her words are barbed with truth, this proves that a lot of it was how men would do that to her. Would only look at her body and not be intrigued by anything else about her like you know her mind. Or the huge amount of love that she has that she hides from people to avoid getting hurt. That’s where the mating bond complicates things for them. And makes her have to question nearly everything because there’s a major difference between someone listing after you and someone loving you. love is more about just loving someone for the good parts of them or the sides you want to see. It’s about accepting that there’s parts of a person you’re not going to like. And finding ways to coexist with them. Also remember that courting is such a huge thing when it comes to Nesta’s traditions and Cassian had revealed that he hadn’t even tried to court her. Therefore presenting another issue. I think she felt rushed like things between her and Cassian were going too fast too soon. Nesta with everything she’s been through it’s understandable that she would want a relationship to take its time to develop and that’s a perfectly reasonable expectation. Especially from an SA victim. Sometimes things take time to develop. Maybe she wants to have an actual relationship before getting into anything super serious. Like a mating bond where they’re bound for life. you know like marriage, kids, etc. And as much as I love Nessian, they hardly know each other. Yes they know each other better than most and that’s important but Cassian doesn’t know everything about Nesta and Nesta doesn’t know everything about Cassian. They need time, understanding, and patience to make their relationship work. That’s why rushing them or pressuring them into accepting the bond isn’t helping matters. And what if Nesta doesn’t want a mate but a husband instead?? She wants everything to be for love, she wants to accept the love from Cassian but like most she’s scared of it not working out because their differences and all the obstacles standing in their way. Not to mention they have a lot to deal with as individuals before they could ever be together. And that’s perfectly okay, They’re immortal, they have time, and then we get to the part where Nesta probably gave up hope for her and Cassian. The scene where he told her that her sisters loved her and he couldn’t imagine why. Not only is that so cruel to say after everything Nesta has been through and all she did to protect him and others, but it was not only the part of about her sisters but the I can’t imagine why part. Nesta remembers everything people say to her. You don’t think the I can’t imagine why made her reevaluate everything and think that Cassian didn’t love her. Made her think that she had deluded herself into thinking that he did and made her also think that the only reason he was trying was the obligation towards the mating bond. That’s why the void entering her eyes was so important. That was Nesta completely giving up on herself. And feeling like there was not only no hope for her and Cassian, but for herself. Now I know Cassian didn’t really think about what he was saying, because of his anger at the situation. But that’s what hurt them the most. That’s why Nesta is so pissed and she has every right to be. And then after that he wants her to open up to him and talk to him, Hence her snort, because not only did he just insult her and basically made her think she was unlovable, but because he doesn’t know what it’s like to blame yourself for nearly everything (as far as she knows) including your fathers death, what happened to your sisters. And he also doesn’t know what it’s like to die inside over and over again.To feel like your losing yourself as you turn into something else. (Her human side vanishing in favor of her fae side) so she lets go of her humanity completely that night. Flips off her switch as some of my Vampire Diaries fans would say, because the pain became too much. Too unbearable. Hence the more self destructive behavior and not caring what happens to her. Because I firmly believe that that was the night Nesta killed a part of herself and became death itself. Hence the symbolism of Nesta’s power being death because she has died in several different ways. And I firmly believe that ACOSF will be about her journey back to herself and I can’t wait for it. I can’t wait for Nesta to find herself again, and learn to love her life and herself again. Because It’s what I want the most from her, and it will be truly beautiful to see.

[ts-unpopular-opinions]

Side Tracks opinions part 3: Logan

(Here I go again! Logan’s playlist is a bit more straightforward than the other bois, so heres hoping this one doesn’t take me as long 🤞)

1) The Elements: Not much to say. It just a literal musical list of the periodic table of elements. You can’t get much more Logan than that 😂 Also, Logan likes chemistry!

2) White and Nerdy: Apart from the obvious listing of nerdy things and the legitimate title, Logan feels like he doesn’t always get taken seriously enough by the other sides (“I wanna roll with the gangstas, But so far they all think I'm too White and nerdy” “I wanna bowl with the gangstas, But, oh well, it's obvious I'm White and nerdy”). Basically Logan is a big nerd and a dork. He knows that and he’s worried that sometimes it ostracizes him from the others.

3) Algorithm: Logan doesn’t understand humans very well, at least, he doesn’t understand anything but the logical aspect of humans and the world. He has a different view on life than the other sides (“Supercomputer status, walkin' along streets”). He thinks that the dilemmas and problems in the world would not exist if it wasnt for humans throwing a wrench into all of it with their feelings and emotions (“Humans don't understand, humans will sell a lie. Humans gotta survive, we know we gon' die. Nothing can live forever, you know we gon' try. Life, is it really worth it?”). As the song puts it, Logan believes that the theoretical algorithm of life is perfect, and he doesn’t understand why it needs to get muddied and ruined by simple human issues (“Looking for something worth it, the algorhythm is perfect, mmh”).

4) Fitter Happier: This song is interesting because it shows us the innerworkings of Logan’s thought process. A lot of what he does involves simply planning daily tasks (things as small as drinking or eating) based on what he knows is most healthy for Thomas. The song completely lacks any sense of feeling or emotion and is, as I stated, a legitimate list of things to do in a day. All tasks are put in place to keep Thomas fitter and happier, however, Logan doesn’t have a grasp on emotions and clearly doesn’t know all of the things that Thomas needs to be happy AND healthy. I’ll just list some interesting daily tasks in the song here: “Regular exercise at the gym, three days a week” “Eating well, no more microwave dinners and saturated fats” “Careful to all animals, never washing spiders down the plughole” “Favours for favours, fond but not in love” “Still cries at a good film” “Still kisses with saliva”. As the song goes on, you kind of get a sense that Logan is losing his grip on Thomas, or doesn’t understand why Thomas isn’t feeling satisfied with the plan that, to him, is perfect. Thomas feels trapped in the life that Logan plans for him, and Logan does not understand why that is (“A pig in a cage on antibiotics” “No chance of escape”). There are also a lot of points in the song where Logan shows that he finds emotions to be a weakness, or something to hide away (“Will not cry in public” “Nothing so childish” “No paranoia”).

5) Medicine: I’m not 100% sure what this song is about, but it talks a lot about ancient philosophy. Basically being curious about the world and people in it. I’m guessing that Logan just likes philosophy and thinks that people should always stay curious. Logan really values curiosity and thinking (of course).

6) The Watchtower: This ones... interesting to say the least. If you’re a fan of the broken blue crayon theory you may want to look into this song a bit more. The song talks about being broken and wanting to restart things, possibly showing that Logan will crack at somepoint and need to reevaluate how he’s been handling things (“I'm breaking, I need another start. Far away, From the city lights.”). Ultimately, I think this song is about Logan’s neutrality over all the situations that the group handles. He doesn’t really see problems as good or bad, because he can see logical scenarios with both options (“From the watchtower, We can see things coming. Good or bad”). He knows that this mentality makes him a bit unlikeable because the other sides want him to side with them, but he doesn’t really mind (“I don't mind, If I'm impopular-ar.”).

7) The Breach: Another interesting one which I feel like could have two meanings. My first take was that this song was about Virgil escaping the dark side of Thomas’ mind and mixing in with the light sides. Logan wasn’t quite sure how to process this new arrival at the begining and had no control over his escape (“Generally operating normally, A small anomaly has become evident” “There is spiking in the pulse of a member of the cargo” “First: the recommended course of action should be to Administer a sedative to all the cargo via ventilation” “Now: one specifically is up and moving to the door”). After looking into the lyrics a bit more though, it seemed like a lot of them could be applied to Janus as well, specifically his first appearance when he was disguised as patton. Logan knew from very early on the Janus was taking pattons spot, but was unable to say or do anything about it due to Janus being the only one with “the access code” (“The ship is fully capable of automating this But requires an approval code from the administration” “He has found the access panel situated in the floor. He is entering the codes and overriding has begun. Reading rage in the nervous system, nothing can be done”). Either way you see it, I’m nearly positive it is about a dark side coming out to the light and Logan not being able to control it.

8) The Letter C: I LOVE THIS ONE 😂 And it’s the first in our list of songs that Logan vent’s about Roman in! The premise of the song is that someone insulted the main singers rap and so the main singer goes off about the comeback he wished he would have used to tell this guy off. It’s honestly such a funny song and I couldn’t give it the justice it deserves here by just listing the lyrics. It gives off huge rap battle vibes and I’m sure Logan would have been imagining the one who insulted him as Roman. Here’s just some great lines that I’d like to point out: “Man I wish I could’ve hit him with a zinger. Should’ve served him with the verbal equivalent of a middle finger.” “I’d say, "Are you insured medically? ‘Cause you sure better be When you’re broken in half from provokin’ the wrath” ““Aw shit!” “Oh crap!” Everybody within earshot would be like, “Oh snap!” I’d high five all around while the guy falls down in a ball on the ground” “I pull out a sharpie marker, Narrow my eyes through my Warby Parkers. Like, “Watch who you’re f-in’ with, with your f-in’ ish””.

9) Galaxy Song: Logan trying to calm Thomas down in the only way he knows how: Gushing about how great the natural world is (“Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving” “Now the sun, and you and me, and all the stars that we can see, Are moving at a million miles a day” “Our galaxy itself contains a hundred billion stars” “And our galaxy itself is one of millions of billions In this amazing and expanding universe”). It’s cute, its wholesome, and Logan tries his best to be comforting 🖤 (“So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure, How amazingly unlikely is your birth; And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere out in space, Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth!”).

10) Streaks: Logan explains to Thomas that growing up is a process that he needs to experience. He understands that it’s hard and scary, but he believes that if you follow the plan and stay in the lines, everything will work out alright (“You can decide on the colors that you like As long as you stay in the lines” “All these years of filling out papers, Building a future, keeping your head down. Tryin' to keep a head on your shoulders” “Cause It's all a piece of the plan. It's something You'll understand When you're older” “Give em what they need to move on, then you let them go”). As he’s explained in canon, he doesn’t really see room for taking a lot of creative liberties in life, and he believes Thomas should follow the mold set out for everyone in life. That’s the logical way to survive anyways.

11) What I do for You: (This song and the next song feel pretty connected to me, so keep that in mind) In this song, Logan really shows his pride and ego. He believes he is the most important side for Thomas and that he will get Thomas the furthest in life (“I want you to survive” “I'm your only hope, I'm your savior too. Every single test You've been ever carried through”). Despite his superiority complex, he knows that Thomas doesn’t see Logan as important as he should. Logan knows how much he does for Thomas but is a bit annoyed that Thomas never seems to notice (“I couldn't ever give up on you, But don't thank me”).

12) Erase Me: Oooh boy. This ones heavy... Logan is PISSED. The whole song feels like a jab at Thomas, daring him to get rid of Logan to see what happens. Logan still feel important and knows his necessity as part of Thomas, but he’s frustrated with the lack of recognition he gets for all of the things he does (“Would it be easier? To just delete, our pages And the plans we've made” “Erase me, so you don't have to face me. Put me in ground and move the daisies” “So what will you do? With no me for you” “Erased me, what the fuck is this? You're crazy, Turn around and do each time, Replace me”). Logan sounds MAD in this song, something that he’s shown in canon quite a few times. It’s interesting that Logan alone seems to be the only side whose shown such anger and furstration, this song just adding to his list of instances. I’m not sure what that could mean going forward...

13) Art is Dead: Well what do yah know? Another rant song for Roman! We all know how Logan feels about Thomas’ choice of career as an entertainer and this song is basically just that. Logan can’t understand Roman’s dreams and aspirations for Thomas because they don’t make any logical sense to him (“ Have you ever been to a birthday party for children And one of the children won't stop screaming Cuz he's just a little attention attractor. When he grows up to be a comic or actor He'll be rewarded for never maturing, For never understanding or learning That every day can't be about him. There's other people, you selfish asshole!”) Logan would rather Thomas take up a job that is benefiting society and making his world a better place (“Cause I wanted my name in lights When I could have fed a family of four For forty fucking fortnights”). Roman’s self-centered and fantastical view on Thomas’ future is just childish to Logan and he feels like Thomas may one day grow out of it (“I'm just a kid And maybe I'll grow out of it”).

14) Equation: Oh man... I just don’t know. The song mentions a mom and dad, so I automatically go to a younger Thomas and his younger version of Logan. The song just asks a bunch of questions that feel like things a little kid might ask (“Have I made you cross? Have I made you sad? Have I made you proud Mom?” “How white is the snow, Does it matter after all?Will I ever learn How to fly like a birds?” “Are you going to school? Are you far from home? Are you well alone Dad? Will I be a brave? Will I be a bright? Will I be a good grown up?”). Logan may have represented more of Curiosity in Thomas’ younger years than Logic. A lot of Logan’s songs have an encompasing theme of wonder and curiosity being amazing things to have. I think Logan really values that part of himself/Thomas.

15) Sunrise: Yes! The love song everyone! I’ll shut that down right away and say that Logan DOES NOT UNDERSTAND LOVE. He isn’t even capable of “love” as some of the other side may be. He of course understands love and how it works, but it’s merely a process to him, and a word which he’s openly stated that he doesn’t like to use. So lets try to look at this from Logan’s perspective. The song is literally about learning spanish, yes its clearly romantic, but its about learning spanish. Something that Logan has shown an interest in since wayyyy back at the begining of the series. I like to imagine that this song came up in Thomas’ playlist and Logan was overjoyed that Thomas was not only learning something from the song, but also learning spanish!

16) One More Time with Feeling: This one feels kind of tough to crack. To me, I get the feeling that Logan’s again talking about the others and the fact that they don’t listen to him. He prepares his words and hopes to get through to them, but is only welcomed by blank faces and misunderstanding (“Everyone takes turns. Now it's yours to play the part And they're sitting all around you, Holding copies of your chart, And the misery inside their eyes is Synchronized and reflecting into yours”). After getting shut down, Logan tries again ‘with feeling this time’, hoping to get through, but it falls flat over and over again (“Hold on. One more time with feeling. Try it again, breathing's just a rhythm. Say it in your mind until you know that the words are right”). Logan has been trying really hard to appeal to the others in different way, but if seems like it never works in his opinion (“You thought by now you'd be So much better than you are. You thought by now they'd see That you had come so far”). He want’s to finally be shown the respect that he believes he deserves and hopes to one day be loved by the others and much as they love each other (“And the pride inside their eyes Would synchronized into a love you've never known. So much more than you've been shown”).

17) In My Mind: Logan has a drastically different view of Thomas’ future than is actually the case (“In a future five years from now. I'm one hundred and twenty pounds, And I never get hung over Because I will be the picture of discipline” “And I will be someone I admire And it's funny how I imagined That I would be that person now, But it does not seem to have happened” “Maybe I've just forgotten how to see That I am not exactly the person that I thought I'd be”). He’s realized that he has some unrealistic expectations for Thomas and that’s odd to him as, logically, things should have played out how he thought they would. At the end of the song, Logan seems to accept the fact that even though Thomas hasn’t strictly followed the plan that Logan expected, he’s still doing great and succeeding at life (“I am exactly the person that I want to be”).

18) Not Perfect: This song has a lot of lyrics, but most of them can be taken at face value. Logan recognizes that everything in Thomas’ life (his world, his country, his house, his body, and his brain) is not perfect. I’m sure it’s a metaphor for Logan realizing that he, himself, is not perfect and he’s begining to realize that he can’t solve every problem.

19) Human: This song is also long. REALLY LONG. But thankfully it is fairly straight forward. When life is getting Thomas (or any of the sides down) Logan will list facts about their life as a human that are supposed to be comforting or inspirational. It’s basically just like Galaxy song, but a bit more personal and loving. Here’s just some cute quotes from it to keep you all going: “For you are a force of skin & nails & heart. A walking Monae, you're breathing art” “The average human heart will beat over 100 million times in one lifetime. I'm sure you'll find someone who won't mind skipping one for you” “You need to grow up. You need to grow out of things. When something doesn't belong, even your body knows when it's time for that thing to be Replaced” “15 million blood cells are Destroyed in a human body every second. If your body can get over it You can get over that last relationship”). Basically Logan trying to ground Thomas in reality to make him realize that everything he’s going through is just human.

20) Time Adventure: (ughhh this song make me cry every time I hear it) That being said, I was a bit surprised to hear this on Logan’s album and not Pattons. Not only that, but it’s his finishing song. The song is all about growing up and how, even though time passes, you will always have the good memories that you built along the way. It’s also about how, no matter how much time passes, the singer and the person theyre singing about will always be friends. Seems kind of like a weird song choice for Logan right? It seems like it needs to include Patton in someway... So perhaps its Logan trying to comfort Patton. Patton has shown a fear of growing up and changing, so perhaps telling him that he’ll always have a friend in Logan no matter how the times change is something that Logan does to ease his worries.

(Oh boy... this one took a long time 😅 Sorry about that! Like usual, let me know what you think and give your own opinions if you’d like!)

[arlingtonpark]

SNK 124 Review

I’m calling this maneuver the Full Eren, in which your mounting resentment gets the better of you and you to do crazy shit.

Connie’s…been through a lot. Like, everyone here has been through a lot, but for him, it’s… a lot a lot. He lost his home, his family, a couple of his friends, had to kill people against his better nature, lost his best friend, and then Eren started working with Zeke.

He’s lost a lot, and it seems to have finally gotten to him. Sasha’s death seems to have done it. He’s become more and more bitter recently and he’s become more and more resentful. When you get shat on by the world, it gets easy to think you deserve a break.

Your toilet clogs, your car dies, and your girlfriend dumps you all on the same day, and so you start expecting things to start going your way again. Maybe you even expect people to start showing some kindness to you. Because you’re going through a lot.

Then, when things don’t really start going your way, you get pissed.

Connie’s entire freak out here basically amounts to this:

It’s not fair!

Armin got to come back to life by eating someone. And he’s Armin. They were originally going to bring back Erwin, but they went with Armin instead, the bright but inexperienced one.

Now there’s a repeat of that happening, but this time Armin tells Connie they have to choose strategically, not with their emotions.

It’s not fair!

Connie’s definitely being irrational here. Armin never asked to be brought back; Connie’s anger should be directed at Jean or Mikasa.

And of course what Armin is saying doesn’t imply that Connie’s mom is unimportant. I’m sure Armin does value her life, it’s just that he’s not thinking in those terms. In terms of bettering Paradis’ current situation, bringing back Pixis has more value than bringing back Connie’s mom. That frame of reference is what’s relevant here.

No one denies that choosing Armin over Erwin wasn’t strategically sound. Even Armin himself. But going against this logic before doesn’t mean they should just ignore it completely now.

It makes sense to revive Pixis instead of Connie’s mom. That doesn’t say anything about her value as a human being.

But now, Connie’s decided he’s entitled to some kind of break and he’s going to get it, and fuck you if you try to stop him.

People can do cruel things when they’re aggrieved.

What Connie is doing is awful. He’s going to revive someone by killing a kid. Doing that to bring back Pixis would have some sense to it, but here, Connie is just being selfish.

He’s not doing this for the sake of everyone around him; he’s doing it for his own sake and his mother’s.

Compare this to Eren.

Eren is doing this for the sake of everyone around him, but that is outweighed by the cost of all the people who’ll die. Killing billions for the sake of millions will never not be wrong.

Meanwhile, sacrificing Falco to revive Pixis would arguably be fair, since Pixis would be better able to help people than Falco. Or Connie’s mom for that matter.

He would be Paradis’ new leader, and he’d clearly be good in that role. He’s smart, personable, and fair. He has expertise, but knows when to let other people, even completely inexperienced people, take the lead, as he did when defending Trost. These are all things you need in a leader.

He’d be the best person who could lead Paradis.

But this is Attack on Titan, so of course they had to kill him instead.

Speaking of Eren, I love how the end of the world is mostly a background event in this chapter. Apparently we’re getting every loose end out of the way before the main action begins!

I for one believe that killing billions of random people is a bad thing. Many would disagree with me, but whatever.

The best part about this chapter is how it systematically deconstructs every brain dead argument fans are making to justify Eren.

The very first thing this chapter points out is that Eldians will die too. There are Eldians all over the world and they’ll be crushed with everyone else. And because this is Attack on Titan, we can clearly see a mom crying with her baby on just the second page.

But I guess Eren considers them race traitors or something for hating Paradis.

Oh, yeah, and also he just assumes they hate Paradis.

Connie isn’t the only irrational one in this chapter.

Next thing is Jean victim-blaming the people Eren is about to kill. That’s what it is, victim-blaming, and I’ve actually seen it thrown about to justify the Rumbling.

These people are going to be massacred, but…they brought it on themselves! They started this fight! They can’t complain about dying, they chose to hate on Paradis!

The chapter rightfully casts this as fishing for excuses. “They” is a very broad term here. Most of the people in that “they” are not involved in the fighting and are just people living their lives. Lots of them probably hate Paradis, but so what? They’re just random people with no power to harm Paradis.

Those people probably also hate Eldians, and many Eldians are clearly hurt because of that bigotry, but who cares?

Eren clearly doesn’t, because he’s killing the Eldians too!

Eren is killing everyone outside Paradis, regardless of whether they’re Eldian or not, regardless of whether they hate Paradis or not.

That’s the final thing the chapter points out. Many of the people who’ll die are not involved in the conflict, like Onyankopon’s country.

Conflict is a bad thing because it hurts people and destroys lives. To limit this destruction, soldiers are required to distinguish between civilians and enemy combatants. Shoot at the enemy soldiers, not the guy who just happens to live down the street. The point is to limit people’s suffering. Otherwise…you end up with what Eren’s doing.

Slaughtering people because they’re not on your side.

Almost everyone who’ll die are just people living their lives. Eren is killing them because for all his talk about the value of life, he actually rejects that idea. As I’ve said before, Eren is basically a nihilist.

He has no morals. He has no principles. He has no ideology. He just wants his friends to live. That’s a good cause, but it is not tempered by anything that you’d call “thought.”

Eren’s problem is that he has no vision.

He has no vision for himself, the world, or even his friends, the very people who’s doing this for. He wants them to live, but not being dead isn’t the most visionary life goal.

He wants his friends to live long lives, but he doesn’t seem to care about what they do with those lives, not even in a friendly “Hey, so what’ve you got planned for this week?” kind of way.

He can’t imagine people having dreams because he’s never had any himself, aside from wanting other people to survive to live their dreams. Eren is what you could call “thriving-challenged.”

I don’t know if Eren will succeed, but the story clearly does not support the Rumbling, and that’s good.

The Founding Titan’s power is apparently a lot cruder than most assumed. Eren unhardened the walls, but he had to cancel all hardening to do it. And he apparently cannot control all titans. Come to think of it, Eren’s speech last chapter was broadcast to all Eldians, not just the ones on Paradis, even though he has no reason to tell Eldians outside of Paradis what he’s doing.

I don’t know where Isayama is going with this, but it makes for an interesting limitation. Wielding the full power of the Founding Titan has been compared to being a god, but now the Founding Titan isn’t looking so omnipotent anymore.

That’s not much of a limitation, since Eren can still flatten the world at will, but that just makes him like the Death Star. An imprecise, hulking planet killer.

But, just maybe, vulnerable to a smaller-scale attack.

So Annie’s back. Isayama had to do it if he wanted to make it up to the fans for a mostly Gabi-centric chapter.

I don’t really get the anger people have for Gabi. Yeah, she’s been an ass before, but…that’s the point?

Her character arc is that she learns how to not be an ass.

She’s already made up with Falco and Kaya, and it seems she’s going to be on at least neutral terms with Armin and Mikasa, all that’s left is to make nice with Connie for killing his girlfriend.

That may not be possible, but it’ll be a sign of how much she’s grown to even try it.

Gabi’s arc is a good sign for where this story is going. She was a brainwashed warrior, but by being shown kindness and mercy, she’s realized how wrong she was. In that way, she’s a better person than Eren.

Eren never could see past the hatred the outside world had for Paradis. It never seemed to occur to him that people could be made to think differently. It was pretty lazy of him.

That’s a pretty good word for it, actually. Lazy.

Everyone else was actually trying for a peaceful resolution, meanwhile Eren was just bumming around not helping. He sort of seemed to be waiting for a solution to fall into his lap. He must have forgotten he’s the main character of Attack on Titan.

Eren never fought for peace; he gave up too easily.

Gabi, meanwhile, has actually changed. She was shown the humanity of her supposed enemies and she’s reevaluated her worldview.

Eren has said he understands his enemies now, but that’s such a shallow change. He understands they have lives they live through, but he clearly doesn’t value their lives any more than he previously did.

So, yeah, Gabi’s a pretty good character, and a pretty good person. I hope she lives.

Another A+ goes to Kaya this chapter, who’s finally come around to Gabi.

I’m not sure how I feel about how quickly she changes her view on Gabi, but I get the logic. In that moment, as Gabi was standing over Nile’s titan, Kaya saw the same daring selflessness she saw in Sasha. That’s what wins her over.

That leads to the talk about people having devils in them. I like how the series talks about this here. Everyone has a capacity for wrongdoing. We all struggle with it sometimes.

What’s great about this is that the series is talking about the faults in human nature in a way that allows for choice and free will.

This is a more complex understanding of human nature. It’s not like what you see in places like 4chan or Reddit, where people just say that humans are selfish and we can’t do anything about it. People have no free will because we’re just slaves to our “violent nature” and that’s why war is inevitable and blah blah blah.

According to this scene, people struggle to not do evil. Implicitly, this means that some people choose to do evil. They give in. This notion allows for ideas like responsibility to exist. That’s good, because it’s true!

Compare this to Frieda’s worldview, which is similar but subtly different. She believed that the world’s cruelty meant we needed to be kind to others to the point of subservience.

Frieda saw kindness as a response to the world’s cruelty; in 124, kindness is framed as something that can directly change the world and make it less cruel. It is proactive, ironically by not doing something. Not giving in to the devil inside you.

I really hope Tia Ballard plays Yelena in the English dub of season 4. She’d be great in the role.

I can say that with more confidence than Yelena can say Zeke is special, that’s for sure. She’s just now starting to realize that Zeke isn’t all that special, or really even all that smart, and now she just wants a chair to sit down in.

I don’t know what’s going to happen to her, but it looks like Floch is going to try and take over, so she’s probably toast.

I don’t expect Floch to get anywhere far, since he’s presumably doing this to keep the throne warm for when Eren gets back, and Eren doesn’t want it. Floch will dispose of the volunteers but will be himself disposed of when (if?) Eren returns to Paradis and inevitably rejects the role of king.

…Is Historia even technically still the reigning monarch? Her Prime Minister was murdered and her government was overthrown by a coup with popular support.

Jeez, this probably shows how much she’s been a nonentity more than anything else. Her majesty’s government was deposed in a coup with the backing of the people, and she just…wasn’t a factor!

At this point, there has to be something big going on with Historia if we’re being made to wait this long for her to enter back into play. Set ups and payoffs are a basic part of any story. The longer Historia’s inevitable role is withheld from us, the more payoff there will need to be.

I don’t doubt that there could be a satisfying payoff, but the curiosity is starting to become palpable.

...Crap, so this what it’s like to be powerless in the face of something you have control over. 

The outside world has my sympathies!

[popwasabi]

Lockdown Lookback: Catching up on the past months’ Pop Culture

Aaaaannnd we’re back!

It’s amazing what a little pandemic can do to shake you out of your creative cobwebs but if we’re all going to die, I want to make sure all my pop cultural hot takes are up to date at least.

Many of us are already on lockdown and many major movies including “007,” “Black Widow” and ummm I guess “Mulan” are all getting pushed to the backburner as no one is leaving their God damn homes unless they’re told to!

(Didn’t realize the thing I wish I had more of in the apocalypse would be sweatpants...)

But there’s still plenty to talk about from the previous months and other hot topics I have been meaning to write about but just hadn’t found the time or energy for. Life has been hard I think for just about all of us these days thanks in no small part to this pandemic. For me personally, I’ve had two different vacations canceled because of the virus and currently working understaffed at my job which is considered essential. Not to mention my therapist is on call only at this time and both my martial arts schools have been suspended, so I can neither talk nor punch my feelings out of my system.

So, I might be just a LITTLE on edge at the moment.

(My internal monologue for most of these past few weeks, more broadly years...)

Anyways, I digress, you come here because you like to read my highly unprofessional takes on pop culture and genuinely to those who have cheered me on from the beginning thanks, you guys are my prime motivators. But anyways let’s talk about all the shit I was supposed to write about these last two and a half months.

 “Birds of Prey” was a hot, but needed, mess

Earlier last month I got to see the sort of sequel to the much-maligned “Suicide Squad” in “Birds of Prey and the…waaaay too long of a title for me write here.” I had cautious optimism for it because it looked strange and off the beaten path of most comic book movies and seemed to promise at the very least a fun time at the theater but it’s still also a DCEU movie so the floor was pretty low on its possible quality as well.

In the end, the movie is kind of bit of everything; the best and worst parts of the DCEU. 

In terms of the good, it’s definitely outside the box, a sort of fem Deadpool first person story as told frenetically by Harley herself. Margot Robbie is, of course, still quite great at this role and you can tell she’s having a blast as this character. The humor is mostly good and visually the bright colors and cinematography pops on each screen and on that front there isn’t much to complain about.

But as a DCEU movie it does suffer from some narrative imbalance partially due to it’s psycho storyteller but mostly, and more than likely, due to corporate editing that probably axed an entire dance number that I was honestly looking forward to from the trailers.

(Seriously, I actually wanted to see the full unedited version of whatever hell this ended up being.)

It’s definitely in the “could’ve been better” camp of comic book movies but you know what? I’m still glad it exists. You know why? Because comic book movies dominate our blockbuster culture right now and if the genre wants to survive, at least artistically, it needs some outside the box films like this. I HATED “Joker” but I appreciate that it opened the door for stranger, more unique takes on a genre that is getting increasingly more stale. This movie falls into that unique category too.

(Also, to all the faux-intellectuals and alt-right nerds making a culture war out of “Sonic” vs “Birds of Prey” *kindly* reevaluate your lives please...)

We’re at the point now where comic book movies should be getting weirder, not more formulaic, and that means swinging for the fences even if a couple don’t quite make it out of the ballpark. If it takes a few not so stellar takes on the genre for Hollywood to greenlight a truly fantastic one I’m all for it.

In any case “Birds of Prey” doesn’t quite end nor continue the DCEU’s recent hot streak but it is enjoyable enough to where I would be more than open to a sequel. It’s worth a watch.

 The Mandalorian and The Witcher: Two shows about violent mercenaries and fatherhood

Both these shows are old news at this point, but I did want to talk a little about both for a bit if you would have me.

First, “The Mandalorian” which was Disney+’s flagship production to begin its streaming chapter late last year is definitely a more than welcome addition to the galaxy far, far away. It’s pretty easy to feel fairly jaded about Star Wars these days given how flat the new trilogy ended but for what it’s worth “The Mandalorian” was a good mix of nostalgia bait and something new and interesting for fans to chew on. Its production value is obviously top-notch, no doubt because of all the Disney money pumped into it, it’s well-acted and thrilling and fun from start to finish. It plays heavily on the genres that influenced the series, primarily westerns and old samurai flicks, and fans of those will certainly enjoy the homages to them all.

The series was something of a coming out party for Deborah Chow who directed two of the season 1’s best episodes. Her steady hand, eye for details and tributes to Asian cinema throughout really gave the series an extra kick at times and showed how Star Wars can evolve still. Chow is set to helm the upcoming “Kenobi” series and one can only hope that she *really* leans into the samurai genre for that show.

(Hopefully, there are some “Yojimbo” vibes in there somewhere...)

The Mandalorian’s best and worst parts though are its semi episodic nature making each episode easy to digest as a one-off but also lacking some narrative tension between each. It plays kind of like a Saturday Morning cartoon to both its benefit and detriment with bite-size easy to digest plots and dialogue for the viewers but not offering a ton of depth beyond that.

The Mandalorian himself is also kind of a Gary Stu. His armor is basically impenetrable and far and away the best killer onscreen typically, making more than a few action scenes lack real stakes and tension. Baby Yoda certainly helps at times to make him more vulnerable and puts him in precarious positions plenty of times but outside a few moments (mainly episode 2 and to a lesser extend the final episode) he’s just a little too overpowered to be a more interesting character.

But this show and frankly the Star Wars series as a whole is meant for kids, no matter what the neckbeards try to tell you (violence =/= adult), and that’s not necessarily a bad thing either. Plenty of kids productions can be both great and even sophisticated and while I wouldn’t say “The Mandalorian” is either of those it’s a good and fun kids show for the fans.

(And yes I’m aware that the books, some comics, and games have touched on more adult stuff, you weirdos. But how would you describe the overall tone and presumptive audience of the movies and TV series as a whole, guys??)

As far as “The Witcher” goes it also has a bit of an episodic style to it as well with an overarching, albeit, convoluted story that runs parallel to it. The first 3-4ish episodes can be classified as a quasi “Game of Thrones” clone leaning perhaps a little too heavily into the tropes of that series. Once the series finally starts leaning into its real identity, a dry-witted hack and slash fantasy, the series is much more consistent both tonally and narratively.

Henry Cavil is solid as Geralt of Rivia and the supporting cast of Joey Batey as Jaskier, Freya Allen as Ciri and even more so Anya Chalotra as Yennefer are all great in their respective roles delivering some great moments throughout the season.

(And lest you forget this earworm...)

“The Witcher’s” early season struggles keep it from being as tonally or narratively consistent as “The Mandalorian” but where the monster slayer beats the bounty hunter is that it has overall more compelling drama and has more to say, leaning much more heavily into the thematic greys of the plot. There are tons of problems with “The Witcher” on a story-telling level but you can definitely say it cares more about adding some depth in between the more pulpy aspects of the story which is something you can’t say as much for in “The Mandalorian.”

Of course, I’m partially overselling “The Witcher” a bit here, it’s not anywhere near “Game of Thrones” best (yet at least), and on the flipside one could argue that “The Mandalorian’s” more subtle sense of story-telling does its themes better. But when it comes down to these two shows you get somewhat similar story-telling ideas, mostly involving both characters and their smaller counterparts, in two very different genres with equally diverging conclusions to their respective seasons. 

(🎵 Toss an “Oof” to your Witcher...🎵)

All in all, they’re both good and worth a watch and I think they deserve a chance to evolve and hopefully showcase more of what they have to offer moving forward.

“Parasite” wins Best Picture! Many people have some hot takes, including the president...

Last month one of my favorite films of 2019 “Parasite” won Best Picture at the Oscars. It’s a movie that is becoming increasingly relevant as elites and celebrities alike are getting front of the line testing despite being asymptomatic in the middle of pandemic and think they can assuage our concerns and dread by poorly singing “Imagine” together within the comfort of their McMansions.

It’s about as a good time as any to revisit this movie, I mean where else are you going to go during this timeline, and at a later date I’ll write something more extensive about it eventually (hopefully) but first here’s a helpful video on one particular thing that came out after director Bong Joon Ho took home the night’s top honors:

 “Cats” is still a fever dream of madness

Back in late December, I watched “Cats” for science, as I had AMC A-List and a friend crazy enough to join me. I figured it would be bonkers and unlike anything I had seen before in the worst way but even then, I don’t think I was truly prepared for what I ended up seeing that fateful night.

I remember quite vividly going to the bar inside the theater and ordering a stiff drink beforehand to numb the pain and the bartender asking “So what are y’all watching tonight?” and beginning to laugh manically like an insane asylum patient at the innocuousness of the question. Walking into the theater was like that feeling you get before getting on a particularly scary-looking rollercoaster at Six Flags but instead of the pre-ride jitters eventually subsiding to the eventual fun and joy of the ride, only a deep sense of existential dread built up and sustained itself through what felt like six hours of the most baffling thing put to screen in front of my eyes ever.

(The music that played in my head as I exited the theater...)

Have any of you watched the Stanley Kubrick movie “Eyes Wide Shut” before? You know the scene when Tom Cruise is walking around in his mask observing the strange occult sex orgy going on around him at the mansion? That’s kind of what “Cats” felt like except way more terrifying, somehow MORE sexual, and definitely crazier.

(Is...this some type of...intepretative dance to summon an eldritch horror??)

There’s a voyeuristic terror that comes from sitting in that theater room as you watch bipedal humanoid looking felines dance to confusing songs about “Jelicle” cats (whatever the fuck that means) and all other manner of things that should NOT take human form throughout it’s near-endless runtime. A lot was made about Rebel Wilson and the disgusting roach people she consumes but NO ONE warned me about the frankly HORRIFYING mice children in the same scene!

(I am not perusing the internet to find that image again for y’all. I have enough nightmares each night...)

The saddest thing about the whole movie is everyone, save for Ian Mckellen who seemed to be acting as if a gun was pointing at him offscreen and Judi Dench who looked 100 percent like a geriatric in her digi fur, was giving the movie their fullest effort in what can only be described as a Titanic-sized level of hubris by all parties involved. This movie really needed a “Chaostician” involved in evaluating the production for studio heads and shareholders because there were definitely NOT enough people on this project wondering whether or not this film SHOULD exist...

(Dr. Ian Malcolm coming to Universal Pictures to access the film.)

What has “Cats” wrought upon this world? The universe has been clearly out of balance since this movie came out and while I’m not saying it’s director Tom Hooper’s fault, I’m not saying it isn’t either.

“Cats” is one of those things, much like The Matrix that cannot be simply described but must be seen to believe. It’s one of the worst things I have ever seen onscreen but with the right group of people and a few stiff drinks it’s certainly an experience you won’t forget. Consider it for your next Google Hangout during this apocalypse.

  Anyways, that about wraps up my thoughts on the last few months. Going to try to be more consistent going forward especially given how much more time I have now to write, for better and worse. But more importantly, just want to say stay safe y’all. It’s going to be a process to get through this and while things are more likely to get worse before they get better there will be a day when this all ends and some normalcy may yet return to our life but in order for us to get there we need to remain vigilant. 

So stay at home, wash your hands, and if you want to watch movies just order it online for now and we’ll just wait until aaaallll this blows over…hopefully.

Don’t panic...

[kannagimikazukioracles]

Aquarius Full Moon Energetic Forecast, August 16 2019 (can also be timeless)

Hi everyone, thank you for waiting for my short energy forecast. I didn't get to upload it right away, I was drained during the reading, it was crazy. But other than that, the messages got through. Please enjoy. 😀

Present Spread - J♣ 2♠ A♦ 6♠

Things are getting even tougher now, and for many this can force one to focus on moving on from a painful past. These are due to the energies that clash, creating conflicts between what has been and what can happen in the future, and these are rushing in right now. In order to navigate such contrasts, a balance between letting down one's guard while living through higher vibrations (unconditional love) and using some logic to make better choices is recommended. Vulnerability is a great asset for this, since knowing how one works at their weakest can create better bridges within one's broken self as well as with others who are also on the spiritual path. But for this to really come full circle, everything that has been holding one back must be recognized, identified, and released back to Source, God, the Creator, the Universe, whatever you call the higher power we are all connected to. It is also time to make peace with the past, because whether it was great or it sucked, at some point, the pastmade us who we are right now. Also, it is easier to release the past if we can be OK with it. Sometimes it's just like a kid that only wants our short attention before leaving us to do our own thing. Lastly, think deliberately on what matters the most to you. If you have been feeling dead inside, or if a large part of you died because you felt that you kept forsaking the really important for something else and that pretty much killed your Soul slowly, then now is the best time to revive that part of you, bit by bit, inch by inch. You don't have to go full blast on it, just take it one step, one day, one small goal at a time. It can be anything that makes you feel alive. Even something as simple as planning something or imagining or reenacting the entire process in your head and feeling how wonderful that would be is a great way to heal. Never underestimate the power of imagination. If used wisely, it helps make miracles, so go forth with it.

5 Card Spread - 8♣ K♥ K♦ Q♥ 5♦

Expect more triggers and stirrings from the etheric realms, especially over the next 3 years. Just don't let yourself get too emotionally fixated on so many things beyond your physical control. Yes I sound like a heartless bitch but hear me out: If you can't directly influence the end-results (i.e. Delays due to other people, or uncontrollable events from nature, etc. ) then just cry it out and let things happen the way they should be. It's not worth the effort to be angry or mad at things that you can't even influence so just blow out thr fuse, relax, and just be. Be ok with whatever happens, and accept things fully. The more neutral we can be towards the shocking things (especially with the negative stuff, because we tend to welcome the positive shocks lol), the less emotions we invest outwards and the more energies we can keep. Remember, sucky things get even more suckier if we get affected greatly by external events.* Stay grounded and release as much painful emotions as you could possibly can. In time, your energy will have shifted to accommodate higher realm energies as well as becoming less reactive not just to events but to daily interactions with people in general. Such energetic shifts will only occur more frequently so might as well start living with them right now.

Celtic Cross Message

Have you been feeling really shackled and chained for the past n-years? Feelings locked, powerless, hopeless, ready to give up? Well, despite how horrible the past may have been, there is still some light. Being in a trap doesn't lock one forever.Eventually, the divine realms open up for us, and that is the chance we have to take. If the divine realms can take a large stride towards us, it is alsopart of our co-creation process that we move forward too. We need to make choices to move forward, and that is what brings in miracles and results. Any forward movement will do, whether something as small as just cleaning up old things or something a bit bigger like moving to a new place, things like these add up. Float above the cold sea that is causing depression. Be with people who can help and manage your needs. Do your best in your fight to live one day at a time.

Aside from doing physical stuff, healing the intangible self is also important, get in touch with your intuition, lose all fears, just feel the warm hands of the divine realms and know that you are not alone, you are doing great, and you are loved. This is also a great time to reevaluate your core values, what really makes you keep going, and what you can do to embody those things. Even if this means letting go of a lot of excess baggage, people, stuff that makes you feel anger and hatred towards yourself. These may be recent or old baggages, but as long as they're unneeded anymore, release them all. Even if it hurts. It will hurt, but after the pain heals, it's going to feel like a rebirth. The start of a brand new day. Let go of the pain, but hold on to the lessons for growth. Such details are just as important as the overall end results, and as with all things, balancing detail-orientedness with being overly-generalizing things are important in mapping your future. Dream, then build this dream bit by bit, and remember the important details so that everything goes on smoothly as planned.

Oracle's Guidance

Changes are coming, which are sent to you by your higher self, for you to evolve spiritually and personally. Changes can be annoying, these can derail our plans, even hurt us and break us. Pain is the best lesson, but after the pain comes healing. Let this healing come to us like clear flowing waters, ever moving but letting go of things along the way. Never attaching and resting or staying in one place, but always going forward towards the vast oceans, where everything becomes one. Let the universe support you, and I hope you feel that support. Even if it feels like you feel forsaken by the divine realms. Just release the need to control the external results. Give the universe the chance to give you a nice surprise.

Well I hope these messages serve you well. May Source be with you always, and be always cloaked in eternal love.

In love and hugs,

神凪🌟織姫

Kan-nagi Orihime M.

P.S. If this message helped you in any way, I would love to hear from you.😁Please drop a comment below!

[ultralifehackerguru-blog]

New Post has been published on http://lifehacker.guru/the-55-best-romantic-comedies-of-all-time/

The 55 Best Romantic Comedies of All Time

There is no “best” romantic comedy. Something is funny when someone laughs, or romantic when their heart swells, for better or for worse, and we have no right to say why one of these should top another. Your uncle, or cube-mate might say, ��That’s stupid. Breakfast at Tiffany’s is obviously the best rom-com of all time.” And they may not be wrong. But maybe you have some reservations about the horrifyingly racist overtones in some of that movie’s scenes, even though you can’t help loving Audrey Hepburn. Maybe it’s the best for a certain time period. It’s tough. Comedy is subjective. So is romance.

It’s for this reason that we had such a good time making this list, at least initially. And lots of help. People keep a special place in their heart for romantic comedies. They talk about them differently than other movies, and they like to talk about them a lot. When the call went out, we heard from writers, editors, friends, moms, therapists, bartenders, people we hadn’t talked to since high school; the list goes on. The initial gathering of candidates was great fun; the subsequent reaping less so.

First, we had to limit the category. We love Dazed and Confused and it contains plenty of romance, and comedy, but we can’t be sure it’s a romantic comedy per se. Same with Secretary, McCabe & Mrs. Miller, My Girl, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, and about 500 other films. We don’t have enough space here to get into exactly what makes a romantic comedy, but let’s agree that the fact it is not a tragedy or a history is not enough. Somewhere we have to draw the line between the actual rom-coms and the coming of age movies, or mysteries, or adventures.

It’s for this reason we need to apologize in advance: A number of your favorite romantic comedies will not be on this list. Some of them didn’t fit the mold. Others—and this part got a little heated—we just couldn’t get on board with. Decisions had to be made. Hopefully, as a benefit to any disappointment of missing favorites, you’ll find some new ones you didn’t yet know you liked. After all, that’s the message from Pretty Woman, right? It’s important to keep an open mind. Otherwise, you could be making a big mistake, big, huge.

These are the best 55 rom-coms for every situation. We hope you love them.

The Best Rom-Com . . .

. . . to put your one-night stand in perspective:

Obvious Child (2014)

Photo: Everett Collection

The hardest you’ll ever laugh about abortion. That’s right, abortion. Talk about playing with fire, but this tender, deeply human comedy from director Gillian Robespierre finds entirely new ways into the story of losing Mr. Wrong, then Finding Mr. Right (by having our hero, a struggling comedian—played by the irrepressibly honest and infinitely endearing Jenny Slate—get drunk with Mr. Right, sleep with Mr. Right, get pregnant by Mr. Right, and then deal with the consequences). While riotously funny, Obvious Child set a new standard for intimacy, and Robespierre’s ribbed, tone-perfect writing and Slate’s raw but intelligent performance managed to shape a millennial mirror more reflective than anything Girls could put forward in six seasons. And give us the abortion comedy we didn’t know we needed.

. . . to deal with your workplace crush(es):

Broadcast News (1987)

Photo: Everett Collection

In the mid to late ’80s, there was nothing bigger than TV news and James L. Brooks, and Broadcast News was their meeting ground. After the slaphappy, very silly, and very male comedies of the late ’70s and early ’80s (think Animal House, Porky’s, and Revenge of the Nerds), and alongside the epic big-budget projects like Ghostbusters and the original Indiana Jones, James L. Brooks continued to redefine what rom-coms could be with this sprawling, occasionally dramatic but never self-serious, workplace comedy. We root for Albert Brooks’s Aaron Altman, the brainy, nervous, serious journalist who competes for the affections of neurotic producer Jane Craig (Holly Hunter) against the impossibly polished (and intellectually inferior) Tom Grunick (William Hurt). Brooks is the producer behind films like Bottle Rocket, Say Anything . . ., and Big, and TV series like Mary Tyler Moore, Taxi, and The Simpsons. No one knows how to get at our hearts—thoughtfully, gracefully, and with humor—like James L. Brooks. And this is him at his peak.

. . . to see past a gruff exterior:

Beauty and the Beast (1991)

©Buena Vista Pictures/Courtesy Everett Collection

“Tale as old as time . . .” It really is. Lonely, powerful dudes have been making off with damsels and then hiding them away since at least Greek mythology and probably before. Where Disney scored with its animated musical was in—pardon the pun—reanimating that classic story line in a way that was appealing to our eyes and ears, and that of our kids’, while maintaining some real danger in the narrative. It’s a triumph they repeated with Aladdin and The Lion King, but is especially notable with a romance—making the stakes high enough—and real, even when accompanied by singing teapot—that we root for these characters to end up together.

..for when you’re in the mood for first love, Wes Anderson-style.

Moonrise Kingdom (2012)

“I will meet you in the meadow,” writes bespectacled Sam (Jared Gilman) to serious Suzy (Kara Heyward) as they prepare to run away together. Wes Anderson’s Moonrise Kingdom, a whimsical tale of a romance betwixt a pair of wise-beyond-their-years 12-year-olds (beautifully art-directed and accessorized as always), is a tonic to the jaded palate. The children, with their barely sexual, pure-hearted affection for each other, could teach the misbehaving adults around them a thing or two about love. Who wouldn’t want to dance on the beach in their underwear to Françoise Hardy?

. . . to get you over getting over your ex:

The Philadelphia Story (1940)

Courtesy Everett Collection

The credits of The Philadelphia Story read like something out of a dream: Cary Grant and Jimmy Stewart vying for the love of Katharine Hepburn. It’s produced by Joseph L. Mankiewicz (writer of All About Eve and Cleopatra), and directed by George Cukor (who made 1954’s A Star Is Born, Justine, and My Fair Lady, and once told Marilyn Monroe, “That will be just fine, darling” when, about to film a skinny-dipping scene for Something’s Got To Give, she expressed her concern that she only knew how to dog-paddle). The Philadelphia Story relies on some dependable tropes—lovers who’ve fallen out; will-they-or-won’t-they-get-back-together—that have provided romantic tension from A Midsummer Night’s Dream to Crazy, Stupid, Love. But it’s Hepburn, aiming for a comeback following some serious bombs, and her witty repartee with her two love interests, Grant (her yacht-designing reformed bad boy of an ex-husband) and Stewart (a tabloid reporter), that is the movie’s bread and butter. The Main Line has never been so well represented.

. . . to take on a trip:

Lost in Translation (2003)

©Focus Films/Courtesy Everett Collection

There was never any doubt that Scarlett Johansson was going to be a mega star, but Sofia Coppola’s movie—about the lonely wife of a photographer who befriends an over-the-hill movie star (Bill Murray) while visiting Tokyo—is what made the world stand up and realize we were dealing with a serious actor. Like many of the films on this list, Lost in Translation takes place in a bourgeois universe, where the greatest thing at risk is someone’s heart, or future emotional happiness, but few films have so effectively crystalized the alienation of both travel and marriage, as well as the difficulties of postcollegiate, and then midlife, malaise. The older man and the younger woman don’t so much meet-cute as crash into each other, picking up each other’s pieces, redeeming each other’s lives as they navigate their surreal setting. It’s a match made in heaven—and without spoiling anything, their goodbye scene is among the best in Hollywood history.

. . . to reevaluate your checklist:

Clueless (1995)

©Paramount/Courtesy Everett Collection

The motherless daughter, caring for her father and looking for her prince, is a trope that goes back to the fairy tales, but how Alicia Silverstone (who plays our hero, Cher) and writer-director Amy Heckerling contemporized that narrative is what made what could have been a silly teen flick into an instant classic. They imported a Jane Austen story line of a meddling would-be matchmaker (Emma) into a bright pink, plastic, kids-are-adults world of Beverly Hills privilege populated by overly dramatic in-talk (“Whatever!”; “As if!”), lunatic high fashion, and decidedly un-relatable problems. At the same time, they maintained a storybook sensibility, and somehow kept our sympathies with the lovelorn Cher, whose insipidness is overshadowed by her charity, loyalty, and genuine goodwill. We believe she deserves love, and if she gets smart enough to stop looking for it in the “right” places, we want her to find it.

. . . to help you sort out what to do with the rest of your life:

The Graduate (1967)

Courtesy Everett Collection

This is the film on this list that is least certainly a rom-com; it caused a bit of a row, in fact. Some of us believe that this movie is ultimately too sad to give the viewer the warm fuzzies they depend on this genre for. Others argue that this line of thinking may confuse what’s depressing with what’s complicated. The story of the listless Benjamin Braddock, recent graduate of Williams College, who begins an affair with his father’s partner’s wife, and ends up falling for her daughter, did more to advance the critical value of comedy than perhaps any other film. (Not to mention the sexual viability of Williams grads.) There may be no more iconic line than Dustin Hoffman’s “Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to seduce” but this movie is so much more than dialogue. (Note: Hoffman might have been playing 21 when he said this line, but the actor was 29; Anne Bancroft, the supposedly senior Mrs. Robinson, was all of 35.) Oft-quoted, ripped off, referenced, and discussed, Mike Nichols’s 1967 romp through Braddock’s postcollegiate uncertainties was released a few months after the Summer of Love, as the counterculture had peaked and what Hunter S. Thompson called the “high and beautiful wave” was getting ready to roll back. Young America was, and to some extent still is, Benjamin Braddock, which reveals the power of this film.

. . . to ask for assistance in the ol’ love department:

Sleepless in Seattle (1993)

©TriStar Pictures/Courtesy Everett Collection

Tom Hanks had been responsible for some ’80s hits—Splash and Big—but with Nora Ephron’s 1993 film about a widower whose son calls in to a radio show in an attempt to find him a new wife, he cemented himself as America’s favorite, well, person. Meg Ryan, his competition for that title (at least in the ’90s), plays an unhappily engaged Baltimore Sun reporter who writes Hanks’s character on a whim, asking him to meet her at the top of the Empire State Building (cue: An Affair to Remember) on Valentine’s Day. Utterly contrived, but utterly charming, this quick, silly, funny film is pabulum superfood for anyone who believes in second chances and true love.

. . . to leave the past behind you:

Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)

Courtesy Everett Collection

No one has stolen more hearts than Holly Golightly (Audrey Hepburn). Based on Truman Capote’s 1958 (harsher) novella of the same name, Breakfast at Tiffany’s—the story of a friendship struck between a rarely employed writer, Paul Varjak, and his neighbor, the naïvely beautiful Golightly, a freewheeling party girl whose lifestyle is paid for by the rich suitors who surround her—is a building block of our Hollywood romantic fantasies. It has the unclassifiable, magnetic object of affection, the reliable underdog who pursues her, expectations dashed, new friendships formed, true selves discovered, and an undeniably racist portrayal of an Asian landlord (by Mickey Rooney). Yes, it was a different era, but this detail can be difficult to ignore. That said, there are generations of viewers who consider this the greatest rom-com of all time.

. . . to get past that one little (or gigantic) flaw:

Moonstruck (1987)

©MGM/Courtesy Everett Collection

Cher plays a widowed bookkeeper in Brooklyn Heights confronting her parents’ infidelity (and fallibility) who—whoops!—falls for her fiancé’s younger brother (Nicolas Cage), who sports a prosthetic wooden hand after an accident with a bread slicer. Their first night together produces one of the great moments in the annals of rom-coms: When Cage tells Cher he loves her, she slaps him, saying “Snap out of it!” The film portrays a New York that doesn’t really exist anymore—for one thing, Brooklyn Heights is full of bankers now. It’s a window to another time, when marriage meant something different in male-dominated second-generation immigrant families and the challenges Cher’s character places against the social order are both important and revelatory (she won an Oscar for her efforts). You end up cheering not just for her romance, but also for an entire insurgency.

. . . to put the fuckboys behind you:

Bridget Jones’s Diary (2001)

Courtesy Everett Collection

Hollywood does this silly, shitty thing when they want to make it clear that a woman is “funny”: They make her clumsy. “Did you see that? She fell down in front of the boss she has a crush on while carrying many things! What a wit!” Thankfully, this film is actually funny, and so is Renée Zellweger, the titular Bridget Jones, who is 32 and a bit clumsy, and believes herself to be both a tad overweight and running short of romantic options. She confesses to her diary her feelings about the men in her life: her caddish colleague, Daniel (Hugh Grant), and her pill of a childhood friend, Mark Darcy (if that surname sounds familiar from one of your favorite literary comedies, that’s not by coincidence), who begin vying for her hesitant affections in their respectively charmless ways. Who will win—the nice guy or the jerk? The clumsy, funny, openhearted girl, of course! The story has a classic but important lesson to share: First impressions aren’t everything (and a fashion-related takeaway—never judge a man by his Christmas sweater).

. . . to make you even more neurotic about your love life:

Annie Hall (1977)

Courtesy Everett Collection

Like Breakfast at Tiffany’s, this is one of those movies that any list of top rom-coms would be remiss without. Yes, Alvy Singer’s (Woody Allen) story about how he met, and then lost, and then maybe regained, the love of his life, Annie Hall (Diane Keaton), is a wonderfully funny underdog-meets-girl story. But Allen’s uniquely observational humor also introduced some pioneering tropes and storytelling devices to the annals of rom-coms. The moment his grade school classmates stand up and give short peaks into their future (“I used to be a heroin addict; now I’m a methadone addict”). Or when Alvy interrupts a pedantic professor in a movie line—lecturing his date on Marshall McLuhan—by bringing the actual Marshall McLuhan out from behind a sign to set the man straight. These established entirely new directions for comedy. Moreover, Allen’s confessional style and the monologue with which he begins telling his warts-and-all fictional tale established a new paradigm for romantic storytelling, one that continues to influence rom-coms today (same for Diane Keaton’s outfits, but that’s a topic for another list).

. . . to get you pumped up:

Bring It On (2000)

©Universal/Courtesy Everett Collection

This is the pregame of romantic comedies. It’s a love story—between millennial hotties Kirsten Dunst and Jesse Bradford—packed into 98 minutes of jokes, rivalries, teen romance, and ridiculous cheers. (“Hate us ’cause we’re beautiful—well, we don’t like you either. We’re cheerleaders. We. Are. Cheerleaders!”) Some of us have defended this movie since it bowed (and then cartwheeled into an aerial walkover) in 2000 as a sharp appreciation of teen culture and teen cinema, both devoid of cynicism and long on wordplay. If you agree, welcome to the squad. If not, please keep in mind, “This is not a democracy; it’s a cheer-ocracy.”

. . . to take an break from yourself:

Roman Holiday (1953)

Courtesy Everett Collection

There’s a wonderful moment in Roman Holiday—the story of a European princess, played by Audrey Hepburn, who tires of her duties and runs away from her handlers while visiting Rome—when Joe (Gregory Peck), a reporter showing her the city, puts his arm in the Mouth of Truth (a statue that supposedly bites off the hand of liars) and removes it with his hand missing. The princess screams—Hepburn was apparently not acting here—and then recovers. It’s a metaphoric yawp for all that a romantic comedy should be. It’s being taken by surprise, taken by a stranger, the discovery a new side of oneself while falling for someone else. And that’s just one moment!

. . . to get him into rom-coms:

The Princess Bride (1987)

©20thCentFox/Courtesy Everett Collection

“Is this a kissing book?” Fred Savage’s little boy asks his grandfather, at his bedside to read him The Princess Bride when he’s home sick from school. Sure is, but it’s also a tale of swashbuckling, cruel kings, giants, swordsmen, poison, monsters, rebels, and knights—without a dull or unfunny moment. The kid, and the viewer, is quickly on board. More than anything, it’s a tale of true love, and fantastic as it might be, the adventure that leads the stable boy, Westley, back to his mistress, Buttercup (played by an impossibly beautiful Robin Wright), has left few hearts unmoved, and few faces without with smiles.

. . . to consider what you could have done differently:

Groundhog Day (1993)

©Columbia Pictures/Courtesy Everett Collection

One of the few rom-coms that comes with both a stamp of approval from your philosophy professor and the Tony reaches of Broadway. A cynical Pittsburgh weatherman (Bill Murray) is sent to Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, with his producer, Rita (Andie MacDowell) on a dead-end assignment: to cover Groundhog Day. And boy, is it a dead end. Murray gets stuck there, not just in a snowstorm, mind you, but in a continuous loop where no matter what he does—including suicide—he wakes up in the same hotel, on the same day. At first, the weatherman is predictably bummed, but eventually he uses all the information he’s picked up living the same day over and over to better himself and the lives of those around him, eventually impressing Rita with his change of personality. Watching Bill Murray is fun, watching Bill Murray struggle is really fun, and watching Bill Murray caught in a space-time logjam, wrestling with moral philosophy while pursuing Andie MacDowell is the most fun.

. . . to find “our song”:

Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist (2008)

Entertainment Pictures / Alamy Stock Photo

There’s something almost quaint about Norah’s search for her orgasm. The high schooler, played by Kat Dennings, is demeaned by her fellow classmates for having yet to experience the big O. It may sound tawdry, yet this plot point harkens back to a sweeter, John Hughes–era teen comedy (with a few switches flipped) wherein the search for a simple sex act was enough motivation for a number of scenes, if not an entire film. Norah’s lack of fulfillment isn’t what moves the action here; instead we’re on a search for her best friend and an oh-so-cool band’s secret show, with Nick’s (Michael Cera) hapless band, in his hapless car (a Yugo), through downtown New York City’s music scene. It’s a good-time flick, with cheerful performances and the kind of supporting cast (Ari Graynor as the beyond-drunk best friend) that make 90 minutes seem like a brisk 30. One of these is Alexis Dziena, who plays Nick’s very recent ex-girlfriend: She toyed with him and never appreciated the music mixes he made for her (spoiler: Norah loves them). Her “sexy” dance, in the glaring light of Nick’s high beams, to Hot Chocolate’s “You Sexy Thing” is one of the great falls from grace, and worth the price of admission.

. . . to inspire some big changes:

Pretty Woman (1990)

©Buena Vista Pictures/Courtesy Everett Collection

Is there a rom-com list that doesn’t include this movie? What’s left to say about the 1990 tale of the beautiful, charming prostitute and the Wall Street corporate raider who meet and fall in love? Here’s director Garry Marshall’s (and Julia Roberts and Richard Gere’s) genius with this film: They make us forget about the various horrors of sex work and instead convince us the whole thing is kind of a lark. This film takes place in the late 1980s; a high-water mark in terms of the HIV crisis. Those things aren’t on our minds when we watch this movie (barring an early scene discussing methods of birth control); we think about stomping divots and Richard Gere conquering his fear of heights. So what? The Great Escape doesn’t exactly feature the horrors of World War II. That’s not the story they’re telling. Exactly our point. That’s how delightful this movie is.

. . . to make your arguments a little sweeter:

Bringing Up Baby (1938)

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Here’s how cute rom-coms were in the 1930s: The entire plot rests on a dog burying a bone of a brontosaurus. Katharine Hepburn, whom the movie was written for, plays a whimsical, adorable socialite who has become besotted with an otherwise engaged (literally and figuratively) paleontologist, played by Cary Grant, and is trying to keep him around so he won’t go marry some pill. Her strategy for doing this is to invite him to her house so that he can help her bring a baby leopard to the city. (Later, the dog and the leopard wrestle.) This is what we call a screwball comedy. It’s also priceless, with Hepburn peppering Grant in her sweet, Gatling gun style, and Grant, playing stiff, as if any man, never mind a mild-mannered paleontologist, could ever resist such wiles.

. . . to make it a girls night:

10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

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Why is there no actual Shakespeare on this list? Because often a three-hour production: (1) is rarely funny, and (2) doesn’t really fit into a modern romantic comedy structure. Instead, we have movies that are actually fun to watch, like Shakespeare in Love, and this one, a teen-ready take on The Taming of the Shrew. There are some cute turns from youngsters Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Julia Stiles, and Larisa Oleynik, but ask most women and the performance that sticks out is Heath Ledger’s, whose thuggish Patrick Verona made many of us weak in the knees. Like Bring It On, and unlike most films, especially teen films, this one is female focused. They’re the moral centers. The heroes we cheer for. And they are active in as much as the narrative as they are subject to it (rare!).

. . . to better understand your parents:

Beginners (2011)

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“The History of Sadness” is a sketchbook drawn by Ewan McGregor’s Oliver, a graphic designer who is dealing with the recent coming out of his septuagenarian father, Hal (Christopher Plummer—who won an Oscar for his performance). Hal’s new openness about his own life inspires Oliver to reevaluate his own sadness and pursue a lovely French actress, Anna. It’s an incredibly touching, difficult story, told mostly in flashback, that involves Oliver coming to grips with his father’s past, his parents’ relationship, his own choices, and his art. But it’s ultimately a love story. A story about how our parents love us, and each other—despite the difficulties imposed society, time, and work—and how in turn, we learn to love, or not. We’re all beginners, in all our loves, and to think otherwise is foolhardy.

. . . to freeze some already cold feet:

The Wedding Singer (1998)

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Millennials might not realize from Adam Sandler’s recent descent into perennial schlock (some of it racist and sexist)—like The Ridiculous 6, Blended, Jack and Jill, and Grown Ups—that his movies were, at one point, very funny. Billy Madisonand Happy Gilmore are ’90s classics, and The Wedding Singer, his only rom-com from that era (there’s some debate over whether P. T. Anderson’s Punch-Drunk Love, released in 2002, qualifies as such), is a hilarious, touching ode to traditional values. Set in the ’80s, Sandler’s Robbie Hart is a wedding singer (and hopeless romantic) recently left at the altar who helps Drew Barrymore’s Julia plan her wedding to the wrong man. Sandler and Barrymore’s chemistry is off the charts, and this film—not Mad Love, sorry—established the actress as rom-com gold (see Never Been Kissed, 50 First Dates, and Fever Pitch). The romance is great, the jokes are great, the costumes are great, and not to ruin anything, but Billy Idol is pretty great too.

. . . to get you singing and dancing (and maybe moving to L.A.):

La La Land (2016)

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The highway scene. Ryan Gosling hunkered over the piano. Emma Stone embodying “irrepressible.” His dance on the boardwalk. Her spins. The way she pulls at her dress. The way he grins while he smolders. Their love. It’s a panacea for the reasons we go to the movies. At no point do we believe they won’t end up together, but we stay transfixed, in fact we tap along. For younger viewers—those of us who might not have drank down the moving magic of Singin’ in the Rain, West Side Story, or Gigi—Damien Chazelle’s La La Land forgives those lapses. It embraces their greatness as it embraces us in its giant, vibrant arms. We lean closer to the screen, not to learn but to feel for the whole experience of youth and performance: all that hope, drive, sweat, and love. Can’t forget love.

. . . to kick-start your career goals:

Singin’ in the Rain (1952)

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Here’s the thing: You’re not really allowed to like La La Land if you don’t like Singin’ in the Rain. Or, you at least have to watch it; it’s the original musical about making it in Hollywood. The story of a sellout leading man (Gene Kelly) who falls for the chorus girl (Debbie Reynolds) who might just change his life (and he hers), this 1950s romp through 1920s Hollywood really has it all: singing, dancing, and bedrock songs like “Make ’Em Laugh,” “Good Morning,” and of course, “Singin’ in the Rain.” It’s cute as hell and tap-happy to the extreme.

. . . to unplug from the office (and get your due):

How Stella Got Her Groove Back (1998)

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The movie that inspired 90 percent of vacation hookup jokes since 1998 (but seriously, we need to talk about Taye Diggs in a puka shell necklace; the man can make anything look good). Workaholic executive and single mom Stella (Angela Bassett) finds more than she bargains for when her best friend, played by Whoopi Goldberg, convinces her to take a much-deserved Caribbean vacation. Cheeky, subversive, and sexy as hell, this movie turned the tables on so many male-dominated rom-coms (courtesy of one very hot and heavy matchup between Bassett and Diggs, playing some 20 years her junior)—and passes the Bechdel test with flying colors. One of the very few rom-coms to do so.

. . . to get dressed up for:

Tootsie (1982)

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Michael Dorsey (Dustin Hoffman) is a New York actor who is such a perfectionist, no one wants to work with him. So he does what any rational man would do: He dresses as an entirely different person—an older woman who goes by then name of Tootsie—and lands a role on a soap opera where he becomes a sensation. Problems arise when he falls in love with his costar (Jessica Lange) and a fellow castmate, an older man, falls in love with him. It’s madcap and zany but also profoundly funny, with insights aplenty—it sends up television, sexism, and New York society—and performances that were Oscar-worthy (Lange’s in particular—of Tootsie’s 10 Oscar nominations, she’s the only one who walked away with a statue).

. . . to reevaluate the nice guy (and the bad boy):

Something Wild (1986)

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Before Johnathan Demme decided to win an Oscar and scare the pants off an entire generation with The Silence of the Lambs, he was an ’80s funnyman. And this is his best work. It’s the story of a mild-mannered exec (played by Jeff Daniels), whose sedentary life is turned upside down by the wildly adventurous, somewhat grifting Lulu (Melanie Griffith)—whose checkered past includes a roustabout, criminal ex-boyfriend played by Ray Liotta. The idea of a “crazy” girl coming in and turning a straight man’s existence topsy-turvy is repeated countless times in this genre, from Bringing Up Baby to The Girl Next Door. Demme’s alchemy here is to infuse the trope with unpredictability. The comedy keeps us on the edge of our seats by compounding the will-they-won’t-they question with sudden breaks into violence, threats, or chase. Rom-coms don’t get more exciting than this.

. . . to escape it all:

Midnight in Paris (2011)

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The love story here is as much between writer-flaneur Gil Pender and Paris as it is between Gil and any of the women in this film. While visiting the French capital with his uptight fiancée, Inez (a sublime Rachel McAdams), and her parents, each night Gil goes walking and finds himself in the City of Light of the 1920s, complete with Hemingway, Gertrude Stein, the Fitzgeralds, Man Ray, Josephine Baker, Cole Porter . . . and a beautiful woman named Adriana (Marion Cotillard). It’s a writer’s fantasy made real (Stein volunteers to read his novel), but it’s also Woody Allen at his most effective: taking the vicissitudes of relationships and turning them into a mirthful, if neurotic, journey. This one just happens to also navigate through another time and place as well. And a beautiful one, at that. There’s a reason this is Allen’s highest-grossing film of all time.

. . . to escape the friend zone:

When Harry Met Sally. . . (1989)

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If this list were a top 20 instead, this film would still be on it. Same with top 10—and five. It’s in the running for the best rom-com of all time because it is sassy, sultry, snappy, cinematic perfection, thanks to words from Nora Ephron and direction from Rob Reiner. It’s something of an epic of the genre, spanning over 10 years of the kind of friendship (between Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal’s characters) where no one can help but ask, “Why aren’t those two together?” Should friends ever sleep together? If they do, what happens next? This movie should be watched by every college student on the planet. Bonus: Watch this movie with a boyfriend, and pay attention to what happens to his face during Meg Ryan’s most famous scene, in which she illustrates just how easy it is for a woman to fake an orgasm.

. . . to unite with your crew:

Bridesmaids (2011)

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Who ever thought getting food poisoning in a wedding dress could be so funny? Bridesmaids is as much a buddy comedy (think Old School or Twins) as it is a rom-com, proving that female actors can be just as bawdy and into gross-out humor as their male counterparts in The Hangover. This is about the love between friends, yes, and the agony that comes with maturing at different paces, but what ultimately drives the film is the desire of Annie (Kristen Wiig, who also wrote the script, with Annie Mumolo) to catch up. This movie isn’t as much about what we have as about what we’re missing, and how a wedding can bring that to the fore. Along with nonstop laughs, we get a powerhouse performance from Wiig—even as Melissa McCarthy steals the show.

. . . to remind you that guys will try anything:

There’s Something About Mary (1998)

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Before we had a president who bragged openly about grabbing women “by the pussy”, this is what qualified as a gross-out film. Amid scenes of semen being used as hair gel and testicles jammed in zippers, the Farrelly Brothers managed to concoct an amiable story about a nerdy Ted (Ben Stiller) hiring a private detective to find Mary (Cameron Diaz), the object of his unrequited love in high school. Despite the over-the-top locker-room gags, the movie has virtually no sex, and manages to emerge as hilarious, sweet, and satisfying.

. . . to make up your mind, dammit:

Manhattan (1979)

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Elephant in the room: Yes, this is Woody Allen pursuing a high school student (a luminous Mariel Hemingway). It was also made in 1979, and that didn’t carry quite the same connotations as it does now. The year is important, because as the film’s title suggests, this movie is as much about New York as it is about the lovers who collide inside of it (Allen’s character, Isaac, begins the film dating the high schooler, but leaves her for his friend’s mistress, played by Diane Keaton). In the mid-to-late 1970s, New York was a bit of a cesspool: Crime was out of control, repeated requests for federal aid were denied, and the city was on the edge of bankruptcy. It’s in the wake of this tumult that Allen pens his black-and-white love note to his fair city. The film opens with a montage of New York’s skyline and street scenes, revealed to “Rhapsody in Blue,” and Allen’s voice-over as Isaac, writing about his romantic love for the city. That’s where he gets us with this film; Allen crystalizes the outsize feelings that can swell with romance, despite any and all evidence that should temper them. It’s a movie about indecision, bad choices, and falling for the wrong people, but it celebrates the impetus for all of these. We love the things we shouldn’t. That’s life. That’s Manhattan.

. . . to know if he’s worth the trouble:

Say Anything. . . (1989)

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If for no other reason, you need to see this movie so you’ll understand what it means when someone holds a ghetto blaster over his head outside the window of the woman he loves. Like most of the teen romance flicks on this list, Say Anything. . . doesn’t end at the Big Dance. This movie, from director Cameron Crowe (and produced by James L. Brooks) is far too sophisticated for such a middling finale. It’s too busy diving into the angsty, all-consuming, awkward challenge that is young love, as embodied by consummate underdog Lloyd Dobler and his attempts to woo the beautiful valedictorian Diane Court.

. . . to get him back:

Crazy, Stupid, Love. (2011)

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If The 40-Year-Old Virgin was evidence that Steve Carell could be a romantic lead, this was the proof. Alongside Julianne Moore, as the cheating wife he wants to win back, and with Ryan Gosling, who plays his cad coach, as well with a terrific performance from a teenage son who loves his babysitter, who in turn loves his nice-guy dad, Carell is well matched. Throw in Kevin Bacon as a romantic rival and Emma Stone as a law student just out of Gosling’s reach, and we’re ready to go. It’s a comedy that’s as much about accepting the facts of life—be they middle age, the people we can’t have, or the people we don’t want others involved with—as much as it is about a pursuit, or any one relationship. It’s about how love really is, sometimes, which can be romantic in its own right.

. . . to fall in love with literature:

Shakespeare in Love (1998)

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People forget about the competition Shakespeare faced, and we don’t mean the other plays. In the late 1500s, one could go to the theater, or one could go watch some people be executed or a bear be torn apart by dogs. That’s how entertaining Shakespeare’s work had to be! In 1998, this film competed with Saving Private Ryan, Elizabeth, and Life Is Beautiful for Best Picture and managed to come out with the Oscar. What drew the academy to the fast-paced mash-up of Romeo and Juliet with a very loosely interpreted history of William Shakespeare’s life was the film’s ability to capture exactly what Shakespeare did back in his day: the urgency of love and the power of its expression—its ability to consume us and change lives.

. . . to tell your real friends from the sham ones:

Muriel’s Wedding (1994)

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Muriel (Toni Collette), a daydreamer and the target of the bitchy girls she considers her friends, wants nothing more than to get out of her small town and away from her awful father, move to Sydney, and get married. When she makes off with her parents’ savings, reunites with a fellow outcast from her town, and is offered the chance to marry a gorgeous South African swimmer who needs a visa, she can make her dreams come true. As much of a coming-of-age story as a rom-com (Muriel may be in her 20s, but she has much growing up to do), this film does a brilliant job of cutting the legs out from underneath our expectations by giving us exactly what we’ve always wanted, and tying us up in the strings attached.

. . . to relive high school (or what you wish high school was like):

To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before (2018)

Netflix’s most popular entry into the rom-com genre (based on the novel by Jenny Han) was for many an instant classic—not least for blessing the world with Peter Kavinsky (Noah Centineo), the Jake Ryan of the Internet era. Lana Condor stars as Lara Jean, a quiet high school kid who relieves her romantic pressures by writing never-to-be-mailed love letters to the objects of her affection—including her older sister’s ex-boyfriend. Until, of course, one night they get sent out. Hijinks—and a fake turned not-so-fake relationship—ensue.

. . . to remind you how much better it gets after high school:

American Pie (1999)

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A teen sex comedy with a heart of gold, this story of four high school friends determined to have sex before they graduate was the surprise hit of 1999. But underneath all the masturbating with pastry and accidentally ingested semen cocktails, there’s real sentiment to the adolescent boys trying to find their way with women, and vice versa. The reason we can safely call this a rom-com is that, while it doesn’t exactly pass the Bechdel test with flying colors, the objects of the guys’ affections are far from just objects. They have goals of their own we’re brought on board with. The girls aren’t just out for the boys, they’re out for themselves—as disappointingly rare in a rom-com as it is in a teen comedy, and the reason we love this one.

. . . to learn how far to take it:

Rushmore (1927)

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This is Wes Anderson’s most completely stylish movie, and perhaps his best, made before stylized fuckery got in the way of things like writing (like all his best work, this was cowritten with Owen Wilson). Max Fischer (Jason Schwartzman) is a scholarship student at a private school. His academics are dismal, but he’s game for any and all extracurriculars, especially the over-the-top plays he produces and directs. He gets into a contest for the affections of a widowed first grade teacher with local industrialist, and his newfound mentor, Herman Blume (Bill Murray). Several phenomenal executions come together in this film, including the ensemble cast, the just-on-this-side of believable production design, and an absolutely killer classic rock soundtrack. But what pushes it above the rest is the utter drive of both Max and Herman, as love and competition gains primacy over every aspect of their lives. They’re both willing to burn the village to save it, which is simultaneously hilarious to watch and cathartic to anyone who’s ever had a crush.

. . . to locate your other half:

Jerry Maguire (1996)

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Cameron Crowe has a couple of films on this list (Almost Famous was close, but ultimately more coming-of-age than comedy) with good reason: He understands people and how they tick. Despite its memorably demonstrative, over-the-top lines, like “You complete me,” and “Show me the money,” this is ultimately a movie about how people really fall in love. Sure, Renée Zellweger loves Tom Cruise from the beginning—it’s a movie after all, and he is Tom Cruise—but what Jerry Maguire gets to is what happens after that first kiss, after the honeymoon period, when we have to learn about the other person as a person, and not just see them and their adorable puppy (or in this case, an adorable son, played by Jonathan Lipnicki) as an escape or alternative from our own lives.

. . . for a dose of realism (and Paris!)

Two Days in Paris (2007)

For sheer hilarious, messy, complicated realism, Two Days in Paris takes the prize. The brilliant and surprising Julie Delpy writes, directs, and stars as Marion, a young Frenchwoman who has brought her American boyfriend Jack (Adam Goldberg) to her hometown en route from a trip to Venice. They struggle through misunderstandings, language barriers, cultural clashes, encounters with Marion’s many ex-boyfriends, and her unruly parents (played by Delpy’s real-life mother and father, actors Marie Pillet and Albert Delpy,) and barely come out the other side. The moral, as Marion paraphrases Jack: “It’s not easy being in a relationship, much less to truly know the other one and accept them as they are with all their flaws and baggage.” It may not be easy, but it’s highly entertaining to watch them try.

. . . to get you through the holidays:

Love Actually (2003)

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Is this? Not really. But that’s not why we go to the movies. Love Actually is, actually, a rather clichéd Christmas rom-com, but jeez, we love it anyway. How can we not, with this ensemble cast of British romance all-stars (Hugh Grant, Emma Thompson, Liam Neeson, Colin Firth, and Keira Knightley, among others)? The prime minister (Grant) falling for a junior staff member? A quiet suitor in love with the new bride (Knightley) of his best bud (Chiwetel Ejiofor), who is apparently one of three people of color in London? A cuckolded boyfriend (Firth) rebuilding his shattered life with the help of his shy housekeeper? Balderdash. All of it. But it’s irresistible. Come on, what are you, made of stone?

. . . to fall for his funny bone:

Top Five (2014)

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Think of it as Before Sunset meets Funny People, with New York taking the place of Paris. If that notion produces a little eye roll, get those peepers back down, and then on to the screen before you miss some laughs. Rosario Dawson plays a New York Times journalist tasked with interviewing a hugely famous comedian, played by Chris Rock, who is attempting to take his career in a new direction (courtesy of an ill-advised serious film about a Haitian revolutionary). Like Roman Holidaybefore it, this is a film rooted in our society’s placement of, and expectations for, certain figures (a celebrity and a princess, respectively). In both cases, the journalist finds the human being inside of their famous subject, falling for them while trying not to fall for their shtick, or what they represent. As the pair make their way through Manhattan—with visits from Jerry Seinfeld, radio hosts Opie and Anthony, Whoopi Goldberg, and a fantastic supporting job from the ageless Gabrielle Union, playing a reality TV starlet—we can’t help but get on board with their journey.

. . . to look past his neurotic, potentially mentally ill exterior:

As Good as It Gets (1997)

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There are few actors who can go toe-to-toe with Jack Nicholson. Director James L. Brooks found a suitable sparring partner with Shirley MacLaine in Terms of Endearment and struck gold again nearly 15 years later with Helen Hunt. Hunt plays a waitress with a sick child for whom Nicholson—a mean, racist, homophobic, obsessive-compulsive writer and her regular customer in the restaurant where she waits tables—has some affection. Bring in Nicholson’s neighbor, a gay artist (played by Greg Kinnear) who has to lean on the Nicholson’s character for help (beginning with care for his adorable dog), add a road trip, and you’ve got yourself one of the most delightful, well-thought-out comedies of the ’90s. The movie takes it time, but it’s to our benefit—Brooks allows us to get to know each of these people, and them each other, intimately, which means when the jokes, and the romance, land, they land hard, and then stay around. (Plus, who among us could resist Nicholson growling, “You make me wanna be a better man”?)

. . . to confirm that, yeah, he’s probably cheating:

Shampoo (1975)

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There’s a lot going on in Shampoo—the story of an L.A. hairdresser (Warren Beatty) who is sleeping with, well, everyone (including Julie Christie, who plays a prime target of his affections)—which, at first glance, could just be another ’70s sex comedy. Keep in mind, it’s directed by Hal Ashby, the king of thoughtful, offbeat romances, and was both written by and featured, Warren Beatty, a major voice of the Hollywood Left in the 1970s. The film, released a year after Nixon’s downfall, takes place during on the eve of Nixon’s election in 1968, so there’s a good deal of interplay between the politics and the sexual politics that were in the air as the counterculture died, the pill became mainstream, and the country saw itself in a whole new, darker light. That said, Beatty’s portrayal of the harried, discursive, libidinous George is irresistible even without context, as is the performance given by a young Goldie Hawn, who illuminates every frame—and perfectly counteracts Beatty—with blonde California light, and a heart-melting, downy innocence.

. . . to get you on board with AI:

WALL-E (2008)

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There are more epic Disney romances (one of them is on this list), but none more thoughtful. What we love about this futuristic tale of a little trash compactor, WALL-E, who falls in love with his technological better, EVE, is the considered environmental, anti-consumerist message that suffuses the dystopian love story. With barely a word, only whirrs, between them, EVE and WALL-E convincingly fall in love. His efforts to save her, once the megacorporation Buy-n-Large (their maker) comes for her, is as authentic as Hawkeye’s return for Cora, or Jack’s sacrifice for Rose. Forget Finding Nemo, this is writer-director Andrew Stanton’s Pixar masterpiece.

. . . to justify your May-December romance:

Harold and Maude (1971)

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There’s a question that lingers throughout most of Harold and Maude—the story of a death-obsessed young man (he enjoys driving a hearse, attending funerals, and faking his suicide) who falls for a much, much older woman—are these two going to get it on? It sounds sophomoric, but it’s actually essential. Harold and Maude are separated by approximately 60 years; for the movie to hit home, for us to believe that love is truly about what we share, not what we look like or other aesthetic values, we have to believe a genuine attraction has formed. No one prodded existentialism (especially in films deemed “romantic”) like director Hal Ashby, and Harold and Maude is no exception. The darkly funny tale will leave you questioning just what is important to you in your own conception of love—and, moreover, in your life.

. . . to give comic books their due:

Chasing Amy (1997)

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A comic book artist (Ben Affleck) with an inseparable best friend (Jason Lee) falls for a beautiful gay girl (Joey Lauren Adams)—who then falls for him—only to discover he can’t handle it. Comic books? Lesbian conversion? Best buds? Sounds like a romantic comedy made by men, for men. And it is! But Kevin Smith also managed a somewhat nuanced exploration of friendship and art, as well as of contemporary romantic standards in his rejiggering of the love triangle. Simultaneously, at a time when every other joke on Friends involved gay panic, he was portraying three-dimensional concepts of lesbian identity. What could be identified as a typical male-driven fantasy could also be seen as a ’90s Torrents of Spring.

. . . to make you fall in love with your friends:

Reality Bites (1994)

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In what was then a cult hit and is now a piece of ’90s nostalgia catnip, a post–Edward Scissorhands (and post–Johnny Depp) Winona Ryder plays Lelaina, an aspiring documentarian assisting an obnoxious TV host in Houston. She and grungy, Generation X friends—played by Steve Zahn, Janeane Garofolo, and a simmering Ethan Hawke (who may be more than just a friend)—are just trying to figure out who they are, and what they want in life. In Ben Stiller’s feature directorial debut, he also plays a TV executive whose budding romance with Lelaina and interest in her work brings the real world crashing into their postcollegiate hipster existence. Aside from a nonstop ’90s fashion buffet that is Winona’s wardrobe (mom jeans, crop tops, baby doll dresses, cardigans, men’s shirts, blazers), there’s also love and heartbreak, sex, betrayal, Lisa Loeb, Dickies, pizza, and lines like “He’s so cheesy, I can’t watch him without crackers.” What else do we want, really?

. . . to dance your troubles away:

Grease (1978)

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The ’50s nostalgia of the 1970s culminated with this unreal musical about the return to high school for summer lovers Danny Zuko (John Travolta) and Sandy Olsson (Olivia Newton-John). It’s hard for current viewers to understand just how big John Travolta was at the time; the year this film bowed, 1978, the two top-selling albums were the soundtracks to Saturday Night Fever (another Travolta film) and this one. And that was in a year when the Rolling Stones released Some Girls and Bruce Springsteen dropped Darkness on the Edge of Town. In this irresistibly playful film, Travolta embodies the bursting sexuality of the newly emerged teen culture, but at the same time, he’s a tampered-down throwback—we buy him drag racing cars and singing with his gang, the T-Birds, whose rivals are the Scorpions, and making clumsy moves at the drive-in. Similarly, the Pink Ladies, a popular clique headed by Rizzo (Stockard Channing), deliver their wiseacre lines with a fair dose of irony. These skirts know what’s up, and that’s what makes us interested, and invested, in their outcomes. We’re locked in from the first frame: There may be better musicals, but none more fun.

. . . to get you through wedding season:

Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994)

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For anyone who’s ever been encumbered by the beautiful, annoying, expensive ordeal that is a wedding, how can we not love a wedding movie whose first pages of dialogue are just the word Fuck? As much as we commiserate, this is ultimately Hugh Grant’s movie. And a little Andie MacDowell’s movie. But mostly Hugh Grant’s. It’s the film that introduced us to his stumbling, bumbling, yet confident Etonian charms and wit, which we’d witness again and again in Nine Months, Notting Hill, Music and Lyrics, About a Boy, and more). The story of Grant and his friends attending their friends’ weddings—and one funeral—perfectly captured the romance of nuptials as well as all the stress, commitment, and emotional . . . what do the British call it? . . . oh yes, bother that comes with that period in your life where your friends are tying the knot. The question this rom-com dares ask is this: In all this wedding madness, can you be the odd man out and still be happy?

. . . to find your prince:

Coming to America (1988)

©Paramount/Courtesy Everett Collection

It’s unfair that Eddie Murphy only has one entry on this list. The guy ruled the ’80s and made some of the era’s great comedies—Trading Places, Beverly Hills Cop, 48 Hrs.—but this is really the only one where the romance narrative rules supreme. In short: Murphy plays the prince of a fictional African nation who is unsure about his arranged marriage, and so heads to what he suspects will be greener pastures in search of his queen. So where better to start that Queens, New York? Essentially slumming it with his best friend (a terrific Arsenio Hall), Murphy’s character finds work at a McDonald’s-type restaurant where he falls in love with the owner’s daughter, a woman who just might fit the bill. It’s a super simple story that elicits big laughs in every scene, but it’s also a clever send-up of class and race that simultaneously owns itself as perhaps the ultimate Reaganite comedy: If you are rich and follow your heart, you can be even richer!

…remind you that life doesn’t always go as planned, but sometimes that’s okay.

Juno (2007)

Life’s not perfect, but it can be most endearing— that’s the takeaway, anyway, from Jason Reitman’s nuanced teen comedy, Juno. Ellen Page gives her breakout performance as the titular pregnant-by-accident teen who soldiers on through high school while preparing to give her baby up for adoption to a painfully needy rich couple (or “baby-starved wingnuts,” as her father calls them.) Juno’s honesty and her backward love story with the adorably nerdy Paulie (Micheal Cera) reminds us of the true meaning of being cool, and that heartache can resolve itself into a tender, resilient future.

. . . to get your boss’s job:

Working Girl (1988)

©20thCentFox/Courtesy Everett Collection

First, consider the cast: Melanie Griffith, Harrison Ford—who owned the ’80s in Hollywood and made this his only rom-com—Sigourney Weaver, Joan Cusack, Oliver Platt, Alec Baldwin (at his douchiest), and Kevin Spacey. Next, look at the director: Mike Nichols—if there is a pantheon for romantic films, he probably has Zeus’s seat. Finally, the shoulder pads; my god, the shoulder pads. Were doorways made wider in the 1980s? Adventures in Babysitting aside, this movie is really as feminist as mainstream movies got in the ’80s. Melanie Griffith plays Tess McGill, a wily business school graduate working as a secretary at an investment bank with such memorable one-liners as “I have a head for business and a bod for sin.” When her boss (Weaver) steals her idea for a merger and then ends up out of commission (temporarily bedridden after a ski accident), Tess rises to the occasion: scheming with the support of her friends and maybe-lover (Ford), conniving, flirting, and using some good old-fashioned elbow grease to outwit her superiors, beat the boys, and claim the position she’s rightfully earned. Griffith is miraculous (one critic compared her to Marilyn Monroe; younger viewers might see a mold for Alicia Silverstone’s Cher), taking a role that could have just been “cute” and elevating it to nuanced and beguiling. That’s what this film is—so much so, we’ll forgive you if, after watching it, you suddenly have a soft spot for shoulder pads.

(C)

[cummunication]

For those Who hate the Single life

It’s been a while since the last time I was single. I [used to be] used to being single all the time. I’ve never been a serial monogamist and have only had 3 serious relationships in my life. The rest of the time I was doing me, riding solo. I used to love my singlehood. It was my favorite; freedom, independence, not having to worry about shaving my legs and doing my own thing. It all sounds wonderful (and it is) but I recently went through a break up and am adjusting to being newly single. It’s a relationship I have to relearn to love, at least for now.

I have a lot of friends [women] that absolutely despise being single. They’re always on the lookout for another guy, another hook up, someone else to get attention from. Personally, I couldn’t care less about hooking up. To me, it’s more about having someone there. A best friend, a person to check in with, someone who thinks you’re the bee's knees. That’s what I miss the most.

After my break up, I didn’t know what to do with myself. Who would care about me? When I wanted to get food, he was down. When you’re single, you’re left to do things on your own. I’m not the type to relationship hop. I know a lot of girls like this and feel it’s unhealthy to constantly seek external validation. This makes you reliant on others for approval.

I’ve ultimately learned, no one can bring you everlasting joy. You have to find this within yourself, in hobbies or passions. From friends and family (maybe a mixture of them all). When you make one person your everything, it ends in despair when they are no longer in your life or the relationship changes.

Typical advice from friends comes from a good place but can invalidating and counterintuitive. “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” doesn’t help when you already have your eye on a fish. I understand where they’re coming from but it’s not helpful when people encourage you to move on yet you feel like you can’t. It’s weird because some days I feel empowered on my own & others I’m ready to throw in the towel on this whole separation thing.

Since the break up was fairly recent, I’m realizing this is completely normal. It’s all part of the grieving process; you go through acceptance and depression, periods of bargaining… trying to make sense of it all. What I’m beginning to learn is it doesn’t always have to make sense. Closure rarely occurs however I do feel secure in my decision to terminate the relationship and we remain on good terms.

When you date someone, you can become enmeshed. You spend so much time creating so many memories, being physically and emotionally intimate. They know you better than anyone else and sometimes almost better than you know yourself. However, there’s a fine line between connection and codependency.

My ex is a great guy and a good friend so that’s what we agreed to be… friends. It’s going to take some getting used to and I don’t think it would be rational to jump into being best buds since we both are attracted towards one another. I tend to lose myself in relationships and it’s something I’m consistently working on in therapy. Relationships trigger my neuroses and that’s why I sometimes say they bring out the worst in me. I believe the purpose of relationships are to make you better, to challenge you to be your best. You should grow, learn, laugh and cry but if you find yourself having more sad moments than happy or start questioning your every move, it’s time to reevaluate.

Sharing your life with someone is great until it’s not. I’m single but very much not ready to mingle. I have no interest in hooking up or going on dates with potential lovers. If you leave one relationship and desperately seek another to fill that loneliness, it takes the focus off why the relationship ended in the first place. Relationships are (or should be) 50-50. It’s never one person‘s fault; after all, it takes two to tango. Once a relationship ends, it’s vital to examine where you’re at in your head and heart. I’m learning people are who they are - you have to accept them from the start and take who they are at face value. You can’t hope someone will change or see the light, and it’s crucial to never ignore red flags in the beginning. The old saying “actions speak louder than words” is completely true - if someone is telling you all the right things but their actions don’t measure up, they are showing their true colors.

I’d be doing myself a disservice if I jumped back into dating; I have zero interest in anyone else and think it would be best to focus on myself. To find myself again so that when and if I do get into another relationship, I can be my healthiest, best self.

Relationships bring out parts of us we didn’t even know we had. I have nothing but love for my ex. He’s a great guy but it was the wrong time; we’re at different places and the best thing to do is to leave it be and figure ourselves out. I do love him so if I stayed just because I miss having someone, it wouldn’t be authentic. I truly want what’s best for him but right now, I don’t think that’s me.

So instead of hating the single life, why not try to enjoy it? If one day we get married and have kids, we’ll go the next 30+ years without being single. Instead of thinking of single as a death sentence, think of it as a time to learn to love yourself. It doesn’t just benefit you but will make your future relationships that much better as well.

When I think about relationships, my mind goes crazy at the thought of losing someone. Unfortunately, this is inevitable - everything in life is temporary so we have to start getting comfortable with impermanence. Ask yourself “how can I make the best of this time and what can I add to this person’s life?” People seem to focus on what they can get while forgetting that whatever you give, you will get in return.

Once we let go of that which no longer serves us and quit letting our scared inner child run the show, we allow the floodgates of the to open universe and can begin to receive. I’m still learning in relationships you can’t give into instant gratification, you have to consider the big picture and how this will ultimately serve or be harmful in the long run. I realize you can’t hold on because you’re too scared to let go - we have to start trusting our deep inner guidance and wisdom. In one way or another, we always have the answers inside of us. Instead of trusting our ego or lack mindset, we have to start thinking with an abundance mindset; reminding ourselves even if this person is removed from our life, there is a greater purpose and if I survived without this before, I can do it again. We need to stop looking to others for happiness because what we are searching for, they can’t provide. They can temporarily fill the void but we need to start moving inward and take an introspective look at ourselves. “How I satisfy my life in ways I was looking to this other person to do?” That is the work; that is the real question and the answer lies within us. This will make us a better person and partner for the one who deserves us.

[transjoyblog]

Sure Fire Ways to Financially Bullet Proof Your Relationship

Photo by Francesco Ungaro on Unsplash

Me and my fiancee have been together for almost 8 years now, and we have been through almost the entire gamut of employment and income situations. When Vee and me first met we were both in high school, summer school honors program, to be exact. Neither one of us had a job, but we had big ideas, and expectations about the job market that were completely unfounded. As we got older, we both struggled to find work, and it wasn't until I got my pharmacy technician's license that we had a modicum of regular income. When I say modicum, I mean about $500/month. We managed to save a good portion of our incomes no matter how sporadic, and believe me, this was not easy. We fought about things as simple as picking up a value menu meal to split, we were so poor. It took this experience, a lot more challenges, and a few screaming matches (I'm ashamed to say), for us to realize that we needed to have an ongoing conversation around our finances. We were perfectly comfortable speaking about the big goals and dreams, and we were pretty much on the same page with these, and we even agreed on how we were going to reach these goals. However, this does not mean that everything was perfect. We felt pressure from our parents to find more and better work, when none existed where we were living at the time. We had huge fights for 2 or 3 Christmas seasons in a row because we were not making very much, but we still felt pressure to buy gifts for everyone in the family. There is no need to go into the specifics of these fights but I feel like if you are still reading you may agree with me that you could learn from our mistakes and use the following as a list of topics to weave into this ongoing conversation about finances you and your significant other should regularly be having.

That's the point of this article. Conversations that need to be had, questions need to be asked, and values need to be defined and either agreed on or compromised on, especially when it comes to large purchases, credit use and management, and the kids and their futures.

Here are some suggestions from my personal experience:

Conversations to Have:

1. What are your spending habits? Can you make them work together?

2. What are your individual attitudes towards the desire for, and acquisition of large assets i.e. land, a house, a business, a rental property? -What are your goals and expectations for these assets?

3. What is the cutoff for telling your spouse about purchases? This can be sticky subject. Some people want to know every single purchase you make (be wary of this behavior, you are entitled to your own money, and control of it. I would temper this warning with a huge helping of responsibility for the material support of others, self-awareness, and a warning that everyone in the house deserves some level of input into the family finances). And some people want to completely separate their finances, which is fine, but you need to establish how you will handle joint expenses and assets including how you would like your children's inheritance to be split up, regardless of which of you passes first. Please be prepared for the legal ramifications of keeping married people's finances separate. You may need to look into establishing a trust, you may need to be more explicit with your wishes than the standard boilerplate will, or at the very least, set up an account specifically for legal fees associated with your estate to avoid leaving your children without an inheritance, and possibly footing an unwieldy legal bill on top of it.

4. What are your individual attitudes around credit usage?

5. What are your values around children? Do you feel the need to buy your children toys, gifts, and treats every time you leave the house with them? Does your partner? What do you want to model for your children financially? How do you want to teach them about money? What are your own shortcomings in your understanding of finance, and money management?

6. How will you plan for the future? Both your own and your children? Is it important that you be financially stable before you have children? What do you want your children's future's to look like? Do you want to save for college specifically, or for any eventual path that they may want to take?

7. What are your attitudes around technology? Do you like to be an early adopter? Are you more hesitant? How much of the budget are you willing to invest in or save for new tech?

8. Do you like subscription services? What are you and your partner's attitudes around these? (I personally recommend that you avoid these like the plague, but who asked me?)

9. How much are you willing to spend on holidays, birthdays, and get togethers? This goes hand in hand with a conversation you should also be having about the role that your individual families will play in your life. My fiancee has a decently sized immediate family and we have had to plan for a lot of gifts and get togethers, something I didn't know to expect coming from an immediate family with a total of 3 members, including myself.

10. What do you want your careers to look like? You would hate to enter into a relationship, or even marry someone, only to find out that they fully expected you to quit your job, or otherwise scale back the minute your family needs childcare. What are your expectations of your and your partner's ability to provide financially? Will a sudden and ongoing job loss (for either of you) cause you to reevaluate your choice in partner? For some it would. Which is why you need to have these conversations!

Actions to Take:

1. Do not spend a crazy amount on the wedding, without good cause i.e. cultural expectation. I am not here to tell you how to practice your traditions or faith. However, I strongly recommend you avoid incurring debt when paying for the wedding regardless of how much you need to spend.

2. Do set up at least one jointly owned account to handle recurring joint expenses. This helps more if both partners have regular income.

3. Do have at least one separate personal savings account for each of you. You can assign large goals to these accounts, such as using one for saving for a wedding and another as your family emergency savings. Or you could keep them completely separate and ensure that you both always maintain some level of autonomy and separation. Mad money is a good thing.

4. Keep the lines of communication going. Usually someone will accept the mantel of "the one who manages the money", and sometimes that arrangement works. That's definitely still ok. However, both partners need to have a say in the finances in general, and this happens by having regular conversations to keep everyone up to date, and to allow both partners to air grievances, and provide constructive input into how you both could manage the financial part of your relationship. If one person is a spender, and one is a saver, this will take a lot more work and willingness to compromise on certain individual goals. These conversations will need to keep these differences front and center to avoid a buildup of resentment.

5. Learn the signs of abuse, manipulation, and specifically gaslighting. Protect yourself, know yourself, and make your own decisions, while still allowing the people you love to have a place in your decision making process without completely commandeering it. This includes kids, parents, distant relatives, partners, and even friends. Everyone you invite into your life has the potential to hurt you, or want something from you, be aware of the common tactics that people use to part you with your money.

[newenglandcus]

Complete Home Remodeling Near Me Remodeler Near Me Bathroom Remodel Tips And Tricks Tel: +16032621715

Sweet Harmony

THE OLD SAYING that good fences make good neighbors just isn’t true in the Hostess City, where Southern hospitality means more than just lip service. This was certainly the case for Jeff and Cindy Holker, whose across-the-street neighbor, architect Joye Reno, oversaw a full renovation of their Richmond Hill vacation home.

The Holkers selected Reno for her prowess rather than her proximity, but given that the recent Savannah transplants remained in their home state of Minnesota until the project was complete, Reno’s locale was fortuitous. “I could just walk across the street and check on things,” she says. “I was happy to offer that peace of mind for them.”Such neighborly warmth is part of what drew the Holkers to the Savannah area in the first place. “Friends in Minneapolis looked at us like we were crazy. They said, ‘why don’t you go to Phoenix where it’s 85 degrees every day?’ But Savannah brings good food, good culture, it’s on the water, and the people are great,” Jeff Holker says, noting that his wife’s interest in Civil War history and his love for golf and tennis made for an exceptionally good fit.

While the Holkers dreamed of a vacation home for several years, things fell into place quickly when they toured a three bedroom, three-and-a-half bathroom cottage in

The Ford Plantation in 2017.

It was the second house they looked at, and it had potential in spades: a wide front porch and workable floor plan, an enviable lot backing up onto a public garden, and moss-draped oaks on view from every window. “It’s the sweetest little house,” Reno says, but the homeowners felt (and she agrees) that the interiors “were just kind of blah.”

Reno and interior designer Linda Engler, who has worked with the Holkers on previous projects, spent seven months remodeling the home, infusing a coastal aesthetic and amplifying its secret garden-like charm while also honoring the Holkers’ modern tastes. “The shiplap is a great example, because it has a very precise delineation,” Reno says. “If you look at historic shiplap, it kind of weaves and changes, but instead we made it modern, with clean, sharp lines, and we used it both horizontally and vertically.”

https://www.savannahmagazine.com/sweet-harmony/

Nearly everybody has got their private rationale with regards to remodel house.

Home Remodeling to Hold Strong Despite Coronavirus

According to survey by LightStream, despite the financial and economical hardships the coronavirus has caused, homeowners are still enthusiastic about improving their living spaces.

While it may seem counterintuitive, a recently completed survey by private loan company LightStream has shown that homeowners are still willing to renovate and remodel their homes during the ongoing coronavirus outbreak. According to LightStream, nearly three out of four homeowners (73%) are planning renovations this year—down only slightly from the company’s January 2020 Home improvement Trends Survey (77%).

In fact, homeowners are continuing or expanding projects (57%) at more than twice the rate of those who are cutting back or canceling altogether (23%).

As a result of the coronavirus, digital conferencing, family video calls and online happy hours have become an integral part of the new normal. In just four months, Zoom’s daily meeting participants jumped from 10 million to more than 300 million. With so many people opening their virtual doors to friends, family and coworkers, many are reevaluating their space.

LightStream recently conducted a home improvement pulse survey through Wakefield Research and found that two-thirds of American homeowners have a part of their house they just don’t like. Additionally, of those who have ever made a video call in their home, 64% have been embarrassed to show parts of their home, including the kitchen and bathroom (each at 20%) and the garage, basement and outdoors (each at 16%). No surprise to anyone who has been working from home with kids: 80% of parents are feeling this way versus 55% of non-parents.

After months of spending nearly all their time with roommates or loved ones, some homeowners indicated that they are ready for some intra-house social distancing. More than a third (36%) reported a lack of personal space in their home, with Millennials feeling the most cramped (62%) compared to Gen Xers (44%) and Baby Boomers (20%). And once again, parents are feeling the squeeze more than non-parents, with 57% reporting they are unable to get personal space compared to 25% of non-parents.

“As a result of COVID-19 shutdowns that closed offices, businesses, schools and more, self-isolation has forced Americans to take a much closer look at their homes,” says Todd Nelson, senior vice president of strategic partnerships at LightStream.

With summer approaching, nearly half of those planning home improvement projects plan to tackle outdoor projects (49%), followed by home repairs (35%), bathrooms (33%) and kitchens (32%).

https://www.cepro.com/news/home-remodeling-hold-strong-coronavirus-outbreak/

The very thought of holding a hammer is able to send some homeowners into a fit of cold sweats. This is not necessary any longer as this article will give some basic tips to help out all types of property owners. By using these tips, you will be able to increase the value of your real estate quickly.

Improving the air quality inside your home can be an invaluable home improvement for both your health and the resale value of your house. The first step would be to replace any old carpets or have them professionally cleaned, as they could be hiding contaminants, allergens and unpleasant odors. Secondly, if your budget allows, install an energy efficient air conditioning system.

Do not feel you need to replace a door when it gets a little dirt on it. Instead, remove them from their frame and sand them down. Then paint them with oil-based paint on a roller. For a whole new look, consider changing your doorknobs.

Install large corner shelves in your bedroom just below the ceiling. These shelves can easily be constructed using just a sheet of plywood and a couple of pieces of molding. Cut the shelf large enough that it can be used to hold large comforters and other items that you need to keep up and out of the way.

Candle wax can be hard to remove from tablecloths and other surfaces. A simple fix can be taking a piece of wax paper, laying it over the wax stain and ironing over it with the iron on the highest setting. The iron will melt the wax, causing it to stick to your wax paper.

Store material that you`re using for building between floor joists or ceiling rafters. Long pieces of molding and even larger materials like two by fours can be stored up and out of the way just with a little effort on your part. All you have to do is put some furring strips on floor joists or your rafters.

After all is said and done, you now should have the knowledge you need to make home improvements work for you. Whether you`ve picked up an idea for an entirely new project or just learned some nifty ways to save additional time and money, educating yourself on the topic of home improvement is never a waste of time. Use the information above to guarantee that your next project goes smoothly.

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[somiibo]

6 Ways to Improve Your Freelance Business

Running any kind of business is difficult. It doesn’t matter if it’s the traditional brick-and-mortar business or freelance business.

All endeavors of this kind require a lot of time, effort, money, and commitment. Committing to your goal is necessary if you want to succeed and make this freelance journey your full-time career.

Of course, growing and improving a business is usually difficult. And since you run a freelance business, you need to be aware of the fact that your field is a bit different from the rest.

Fortunately, below you can find some great tips that have worked for other successful freelancers. They will help you better manage your freelance business and grow faster.

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Taking finances to the next level

So many freelancers often forget how important it is to keep track of all transactions that go in and out. They believe that they don’t need to run books since the income is most likely not as big as that of larger companies.

However, this is one huge misconception. As a freelancer, no matter how much you earn, you need to take good care and have proper financial records. You need to put as much care into your finances as you put into your clients’ projects.

For example, you could use one account for day-to-day life and that will be your spending account. The second account is dedicated only for taxes. It would be wise to have one more account where you put money for rainy days or retirement.

Many pros advise that freelancers should open three accounts and categorize them as it was mentioned above.

Also, don’t think that some fees are too small to be taken note of. Keeping a record of every single dollar you earn and spend is essential, especially in the starting phases of your freelance business.

If you are moving cash through PayPal, you can use a PayPal fee calculator. No fee is too small to be neglected, so make sure to keep track of all of them.

Your image has to be spotless

Seeing that you are a freelancer, you most likely have a website of some form where people can see what you have to offer.

That website is, therefore, the face of your business, so it has to be spotless. You need to do everything you can to make it functional and easy on the eye. For this, you can use some tools for freelancers to make it an easy task.

You should also think in terms of SEO. For instance, if you have a blog and social media pages, you should do some digging and find out how you can boost your posts so that your website can get more traffic.

In some cases, guest posting can really do wonders, but sometimes you have to invest in online ads.

Finally, don’t forget the importance of having a mobile-friendly website. More and more people nowadays use their phones to do all web browsing. So, if your website isn’t as good as it should be on the phone, you might lose potential customers.

Up your social media games

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Social media platforms have never been more popular. There is no end in sight of when that popularity will reach a plateau or decrease.

So, you have to optimize all your accounts and pages for your business. Keep your presence there professional, do not engage in political humor, religious talk, or profanity. This should go without saying, but some people forget that nice manners go a long way.

The profile picture should either be your logo or a professional photo of yourself. Also, the username needs to be professional, not a nickname.

Clients would much rather take a look at some professional-looking accounts and consider hiring them instead of the ones where profile photos look like the crazy selfies of Generation Z.

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Finally, do know that the most important platforms nowadays are Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, and Twitter. Of course, there are some other prominent names too, but these will be enough for a start.

When you start posting on these accounts, make sure that you share enough posts on every platform. This is the way to play the social media game effectively across different platforms.

Once you deal with these major things you need to cover, you can start investigating how you can further perfect your social media game, find out about the best time to post on Instagram, what hashtags you should use, who you need to follow, and so on.

Pro tip: You should consider the benefits of following social media metrics. Whenever you see a drop in the figures, you should reevaluate your game and think about your next steps.

Engage in networking

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Networking allows you to make the most of your personal and professional relationships to further improve your freelance business.

When you meet people from your industry or other freelancers, you will get to learn some things you didn’t know. Even if you need help, there will be someone who will gladly assist you with whatever you need.

On top of that, asking for advice from experienced freelancers can never be bad. You will get important inside scoops that you can make great use of.

For instance, that is why LinkedIn is so good. The platform is designed to help people find jobs, advice, and better their skills so that they could advance in their careers. Therefore, networking is definitely something that you should take advantage of.

Learn to say no

This one might seem easy, but many freelancers struggle with it.

Imagine that you have a client you’ve been working with for a long time. As time goes by, you become better, grow your business, start making more money, and that the client becomes a low-priority client.

The project you have isn’t as important since you now have bigger and more lucrative projects. So, what will you do when you find another project that is even better than your current ones? How can you free up some space to take a good opportunity?

You will have to say goodbye to your low priority projects and clients. Of course, if you are a good performer, if your work is valued, most clients will try to keep you on board.

And, that is when it becomes difficult to say no. But you need to do it. It’s for your own good. Such a situation will require you to say no. So, try to be as professional as possible and part ways politely. Always leave some space for future collaborations. Never cut ties completely.

Amassing too much work is not good for anyone. With too much work, you have to put in a lot of effort, you might even have to seek reinforcements and the work you produce usually suffers.

Always remember that quality shouldn’t suffer because of the quantity. And that is exactly why saying no is important.

Don’t be afraid of asking for referrals

Freelancers always make good use of referrals. So, don’t be shy, but ask for them. Marketing your business through this method is often the best way to go.

If a client is satisfied with your work, they will be glad to refer you.

A lot of consumers are influenced to a great extent by their peers to make purchases. And it’s the same in the world of freelancing. When you get a referral, you gain more popularity and you grow your client base too.

A great thing to do would be to further motivate your clients to make referrals by giving them incentives such as discounts or even free products. If you see that referral marketing is working wonders for you, you should award those who have been spreading the word about you.

Referral marketing can really be effective, especially if you are just beginning. So, make sure to take advantage of it and also reward those who helped you find new clients.

Read more on Somiibo's Social Media Marketing Site.

[imeugene]

I think it’s crazy how the culture of a certain time shapes who we are and how perceive the world and interact with it. Like culture itself is a bizarre notion, one of those things where if you stop really think about it gets more bizarre as your dissect it. A group of people who hold similar customs and beliefs, act upon those thoughts and create some sort of social unity to strengthen one another’s bonds. People are naturally social creatures so it’s probably a byproduct of all that. You’d think something like that would be a constant and unchanging but it’s proving to be not. Even though what we need now is no different than what the first homo sapiens and what everyone in the world needs, how we develop to face those changes in our world seems like how a lot culture develops.

This piece from 20 years ago has the same type of disenfranchised youth that populate a lot of BMX today but how they perceive with their world is different as night and day. Back then the youth of BMX was populated by kids who listened to a lot of punk music. The particular flavor would be hardcore and post hardcore. Music dominated by angry kids who were fed up with the problems created by the generations before. Even though we’d like to think times prior to us as easier times, there was a very dark cloud that loomed above kids of that generation. The threat of nuclear annihilation. It was something very real. That no matter what we as civilization accomplished seemed so meaningless when all of it could be destroyed within a day. The youth rejected the idea of being part of what they perceived as a hypocritical sick system where taking the world hostage was an acceptable foreign policy. The idea that since the that they were part of a country that created a situation that seems like a plan out of a evil mastermind’s handbook. This planted the seeds of doubt in the system. Soon everything else they learned was up for reevaluation. They wanted determined for themselves their own values instead of the common thoughts of the time. It created a nihilistic attitude that dominated a lot of the youth culture of the time. I think a lot of people believe nihilism is having a dismal outlook on life cause it is meaningless but in the original concept it wasn’t necessarily supposed to be viewed as just that. It was an opportunity to create new meaning in the world where the old ones seem to have failed.

Joe Rich and a lot of riders, musicians, and cultural taste makers understood this. Here he talks a lot about riding for himself and not some big company when the American Dream would be make yourself as useful as you can be to the system and acquire money as reward. I think something like this would be easier to relate to back then. Financial inequality was less, people were forced to view the world as simpler as most people were only aware of what was happening directly around them. Remember the internet was in it’s early stages wasn’t quite the dominating aspect of a civilization at the time. People weren’t bombarded with images and videos of pockets of people who have that much more. It was ok to just have enough. The idea of more social and financial capita wasn’t mainstream belief. To rebel against having more was just rebelling against the corporations and government and to larger extent the values of the generations before who they held responsible. Even something like Joe Rich’s opinion on contests are an extension of that. Reinterpreting what it means to win and lose in the post modern world vs what traditionally were. The times were a breeding ground for this kind of newer thought to spread. There was less expectation to have so much new things and those things you did get costed less and went further. Jobs paid more proportionally. Robert who is general manager somewhere down the street who is the richest guy in the town where everything you know exists, is only richer cause he has a bigger truck. That kind of difference most people can shrug off and the kids of the time certainly did. It was ripe for new ideas cause the standard of living were met fairly easily.

Today’s world is much different though. The standard we place on ourselves are much higher. Sure the thought of nuclear annihilation really doesn’t exist but we’ve replaced it with the feelings of not being enough. We’re bombarded with images of people with more constantly. Our social circles have grown exponentially to a near impossibilty. We can peer into glimpses of other  people’s lives realize now that Robert who you thought was the richest in the town actually has a cousin who lives in the other side of town has a sport car and lives the life or at least seems to. Not only him but he has a whole group of 200 friends who do the same. someone of someone is always few button clicks away from living the life we wished. We mask those insecurity and any type of deficiency we feel about ourselves cause who we our online persona’s are put out 24/7. We’re judged even before we open our mouthes. We don’t really know how to handle to hyper social world of today. We’re the first generation to really undertake it. We unnecessarily placed a lot in the importance on the internet, something that was mocked in the early days but now it accepted to be serious cause it became serious. We all created our own persona as easy as we did our homepage. Probably why people seem to value real these days and equate it with the old. Where being honest can’t be twisted into some type of social weapon against one another in today’s loud culture of blaming. Today’s society is increasingly becoming the avatar we created for ourselves. All this would be laughable in Joe Rich’s time but quite obviously is accepted today. Joe Rich and them still lingered the values of the world created before them but as time goes by and this post modern world stays those values eroded. It’s ok to sell out. It’s ok to promote yourself. It’s ok to do anything really to get ahead. Life is meaningless and ultimately everything is about the now and me. The T1 motto of “GOD BLE$$ THIS ME$$” is becoming increasingly prophetic. 

I don’t believe in revolution as a outcome to anything really. Not even in just a raise the pitchforks type of way but any type of drastic change. I don’t think people at large are capable of accepting change in such a quick basis. Sure how we dress our pants or the type of bike we ride can change very quickly but who we are how we think is much more different. I think this is the cause of a lot of problems today. That change is expected to occur immediately and anything short of that is a human rights abuse. In most instances of drastic change in history the host civilization has always had a hard time adjusting. Either the change is forgotten or mended or the people have a bit social unrest for a while which is truly more problematic. Change is natural and the most normal thing. People sometimes equate never changing to being real and I think those people are idiots. Adaptation is change and to survive in the world that is also changing we have to change too. If you never change, you never really grew. Which is understandable cause those people who equate never changing to being real are all a bunch of whiny babies. The internet changed everything and for the first time it’s instant, I think it’ll be interesting in long term how we adapt to it. Just cause we adapt doesn’t mean it’ll  makes us stronger or smarter I should also mention, just means there is a large presence and we came to terms with it somehow. If that means everyone turns slowly autistic than that is what it is. Which is also a theory that floats around.

But yea Joe Rich’s time was something else and watching this was a glimpse into it. 1999 seems like yesterday for me but seeing this put it into scope of how different then was. The vignette on the fisheye and the simple clothes of a guy in dreads. The most anything like this can ever hope for is to inspire a few people of the coming generation to understand the wisdom of the time and to use it help create something new for the coming world. The progress what was already learned and make sure it’s not forgotten. 

Props - Issue 34 (1999)

Edited by Chris Rye & Stew Johnson

[dstars96]

Not a day goes by

So much has changed. This world of ours. Friendships. Circumstances. Ideas. Values. Thoughts. Ideas.....so many substantial things. It's been over years since we last spoke. Slightly longer since I last had the privilege to look you in the eye. So much time. So much change. Yet one major thing hasn't changed, well, for me at least. I still love you. Yeah, I know I'm crazy. Literally everybody has thoroughly expressed this to me. Anyway, life likes to give me the old slap in the face. Dropbox emailed me the other day telling me account was being closed due to inactivity. This was news considering I didn't know I had one. So I signed in to this thing and BANG. Surprise mothafucka! Our entire relationship in videos and pictures. Talk about the old slaparoo. All those times you stole my phone and took about 350,000 selfies, videos of us arguing like a married couple at a bonfire, a while summers worth of videos at Taco Bell, you telling me my drums were scary, prom, and basically just us being...well...us. It just reminded how much I miss you. Your crazy matched my crazy and you're the only person that has ever both put up with my nonsense and understood me. You were always the only person Ive ever fully 100% trusted with anything and everything and given the opportunity I'd move heaven and hell to make you smile. To make you happy. To make you feel as special as you made me feel. I failed in so many ways and I just wish I could rewind the clock and fix my mistakes. I shouldn't have ever let jon back into my life. The way he treated you. Absolutely unacceptable. Granted I hated every word he said to you even back then. I'm not blind. The issue is that I let him be the asshole he was. I let the two of you fight. I let him come between us. I should've gone with my gut and just clocked his ass. I guess I put up with it because I just assumed everyone was kidding around...or at least that's what I convinced myself, but obviously I was wrong. Hugely. I can't even begin to apologize enough for that and I can't even begin to explain my regret. I should've put my stupid unimportant problems out of the way. You needed me to be there for you. To support you and be your retreat from the everyday chaos of life, but instead I selfishly just added to stress. The morale of the story is I made a lot of really stupid mistakes and I would absolutely sell my soul for a second chance. Hell, I'd sell my soul just have you back in my life. I've thought of texting you or messaging you just to remind you that there's someone out there that cares. That would do anything for you should you ever need anything. I know it's been over a year. I know so much has changed. I know you don't love me. In fact I'm almost 100% sure that you don't ever think of me or miss me. It seemed easy for you to let me out of your life. Selfishly I wish you thought of me as much as I think of you. That you feel as I do. The other part of me hopes it was incredibly easy and that you able to move on instantly so you could be happy. Anyway I'm off track here. Point is I know that so much has changed and that I'm just a dot in the rear view mirror and that it would be both wrong and probably creepy/shitty of me to try and slide back into your life. So I won't. On a lighter topic. Jacob is in town for the Green Day concert (my 5th in a year because I'm a lunatic). And we've been hanging out and we were talking about things and somehow critikal came up. So we've been watching old cr1tikal videos and just reminded me of that summer where all we did was watch them laughing until we cried. I can still here your voice quoting, "And just where did you come from you bizarre box of fuck?" I miss those times so much. Continuing my incoherently unorganized rant (Cut me some slack it's 4:30am and I'm operating off of no sleep) I wanted to touch on how I've tried to better myself and turn thing around over the past year. I like to think you'd be proud of me. I've been reevaluating my friendships. Looking critically at the people I surround myself with trying to decide if they align with my ideals. I'm not suggesting I only want friends who have the exact same viewpoints with me, that'd actually suck. I just mean I want to be around good people. People that are going to better me. People that are going to widen my views culturally, philosophically, politically, idealistically...etc. I recently cut ties with my fake friends, the backstabber, and the one I feel is a cancer in my life. So basically I'm back to square one with my one friend that I've known since I was 4. Hint he's the one here currently lol. Point is: I think I'm headed in the right direction that way. Furthermore, I've figured out what I want to do career wise. I know what I want in the next 5 years. I know where I want to be at the end of these 5 years and I'm taking steps to put it into action. Basically I just wickedly over complicated the fact that I have a 5 year plan. Again, I'm basically operating at the mental capacity of a zombie. Don't judge me lol. Hey on top of that I'm losing weight and that's always some good stuff. Soon I'll fit my old skinny jeans and black clothes again :D. Or is that out of style now? I'm not hip with the kids fashion...or any fashion really. Though this is obvious. Anyway, this has been reduced to me rambling like the madman I am. I know you'll never see this, but if by some miracle (well, not a miracle for you considering by this point you'd have suffered through my rumblings) you do see this. Just know that I still love you. Know that I still care about you and if you ever need anything no matter what it is, you can always call me and I'll anything and everything I can. Even if you just need someone to talk to I won't steer you wrong. I miss you. I love you. I always have and I always will. My door is always open.

[itslikethatfrenchthing]

021: 4 TIPS TO OVERCOME BURNOUT IN YOUR LIFE & ONLINE PRESENCE

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Today’s question for the podcast:

How do you deal with overwhelm and overabundance of information? It seems like I have to do so much; social media (which is a monster in itself), creating e-books & courses to earn money, mailing lists, posting regular quality content, lead magnet creation, technical knowhow, affiliate sponsorship pitches. I quit my 9-5 so I would have full time hours to work on this, and I still feel like there is not enough time to handle all of these things – how does anyone do it?

Sharing your story has so much value, especially through social media, using your platform to teach educate & inspire is powerful. In this episode I’m opening up, being honest and vulnerable because I don’t want any listener to have to go through this.

Business owners have to practice going from “in the dirt, in the emotions” from whatever it is we’re going through, to having a faster recovery. If our cup isn’t full, we will get to a point where we can’t “push” anymore. It’s okay to find yourself in a negative space, but we have to create a quicker transition from the “emotion upset and coming out on the other side.”

In this podcast I go over tips to get over physical, mental and emotional burnout.

WHAT IS BURNOUT?

Burnout is when you are completely maxed out (we’ve all been there). When you create a business, you have to push. It can be hard to overcome & first we have to discern what you are feeling, or what type of burnout you’re experiencing. Imagine going to the gym, and not being able to go a day, is it because:

You really need a rest day; it won’t be beneficial for you or your body if you go.

OR

You aren’t motivated enough and just need to get it done.

The second option is something we all have to tackle, whether it’s getting content out every day, writing emails, or pressing the record button on a podcast, you have to get some things done to get to the goals you have. Discipline & getting it done, regardless of how you feel.

Discerning between where you need to create discipline in your life vs. where you need to slow things down is crazy important; doing so helps you operate at the best capacity. When you are operating at 75% - 80% of your max capacity, you are pushing yourself enough to get stuff done and stay motivated. When you’re at burnout, something is holding you to 100% capacity. In order to see a way out, you have to fully slow down and stop.

HOW TO RECOGNIsE BURNOUT

Some days are completely fine, and all of a sudden (when you reach 100%) it hits. With the responsibility of all of the roles in your business require manpower to achieve – understand the reality that burnout might happen to you. What are some signs of burnout?

You find yourself not caring about the things you normally do.

You question quitting.

You feel like you have to do everything at once.

You are letting your health take a turn.

#1 | Open Loop Syndrome

What is open loop syndrome? Communication overload. When experiencing this, it is hard to do more creating than the work than what is necessary. In order to make sure that the ball doesn’t get dropped, you might have to minimise other things. Open loop syndrome holds energy. If it stays in your head, and doesn’t get written down, there is a constant “to-do” list in the back of your head. With no systems in place to support the open loops of DMs, Facebook groups, etc, it can lead to overwhelm.

#2 | Growth Mode

At this level, the more your business grows, the more expenses grow. This can be a major cause of fear to start hiring, because it will take more cash to do so. However, as your business grows, you will find yourself having to outsource work. This might be a source of discomfort, as the system that was in your head and worked for you, might not be the right process for your team or employee. Therefore, you will have to create operational processes to make sure that no ball gets dropped on your watch. Spending this new time training your team is building a culture inside your company in which everyone works together and is excited to see the business grow.

#3 | Financial Scarcity

When you don’t have money to run your business, and are working to make sure you hit a monthly revenue, work becomes an obligation and not a point of enjoyment. What happens if you don’t hit the revenue target? it can create a terrible environment and cause you to act out of fear. “When you’re acting out of fear instead abundance, you are not acting from a place of your highest self.”  What ends up happening (and what’s happened to me) is you stop creating from a space of a space of excitement, creativity and spontaneity and feel like you are just “selling to sell,” and make ends meet. When you’re burnt out, you don’t have energy to create or coach at a high level, and it’s hard to keep up with everything you’ve built. Learn how to handle these causes of burnout (or avoid them entirely) with my tips below.

HOW TO HANDLE BURNOUT

With burnout being a reality for many people, it is important to recognise when you find yourself going into that zone, and look for methods out.

Keep yourself in check

What can you give away or delegate to make sure you stay in your zone of genius? Reevaluating what you do on a weekly and daily basis, and what tasks you can pass off; though the second you give something away it will be harder to pick it back up again. Passing tasks off to someone else gives you more time to create more content and serve your audience in a better way. There is a balance between staying in your zone of genius, continuing to do something if you have the energy, but also understand the value of giving tasks away.

Focus on your strengths

Stay in your zone of genius. Fill up your own cup put yourself in the right seat by understanding what you are the best at doing. I’ve done a lot to understand what my human design is. Like personality tests, your human design helps you determine how you handle situations, and your overall strengths. (Link). My human design is called the projector. A projector has a lot of open energy channels, which means humans can affect my energy easily, and I work best by showing up as myself and provoking individualism in others. There are certain things you can probably tell that aren’t the best for you, whatever method you choose to understand the way you work best, should help you be in the right seat in your business. It’s okay to let some things go, and not wear all the hats in your business (and focus more on your zones of genius).

Stabilise your revenue

It is important to take a look at your finances and have a tight grip on your expectations of projections. By driving more revenue in your business and creating sustainable revenue, you are reducing the amount of stress you inherently hold each month. As an entrepreneur, when you start a new month, you start at 0. With monthly recurring revenue, you can balance the amount you’re spending on your team and the amount you expect to bring in each month. The faster you can create this balance and bridge the gap, the better it is for your sanity and prevent the burnout of always feeling like you have to “push.”  Hiring mentors, coaches or joining programs is important to handle the future reality of burnout with methods to prevent it and build an empire.

Do things that give you energy

Overall, you have to make sure that you’re doing more things that give you energy rather than take it away. Some things that bring me energy are:

Going on walks

Journaling

Go to the gym

Recharge on a daily basis. Imagine taking a preventative vitamin – doing these things prevents a major blowout from happening. Doing things that give you energy on a daily basis, means that you don’t have to stress about how you’re going to feel; stress management and staying in alignment is wildly important as an entrepreneur.

Resources Mentioned In This Episode:

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