#recovery magazine

[scansfrommagazinesandbooks]

[crumb]

Recovery Magazine Issue #8 | April 1999

Love how they managed to misspell Leigh's surname in the header of his own article 🤭 And if there's any truth to Leigh's article about attending a taping of The Ricki Lake Show I believe it would be S07E178 (episode title: Cross-dressing men say they are straight) Unfortunately, at this time I'm unable to find a copy of that episode anywhere online. I'll keep an eye out because there are media archives that are regularly uploading old episodes of Ricki Lake all the time. I would love to try spotting him in the audience—if this 'true story' is even true. The photoshop job they did is also real nice lol. And I included a page featuring Angus Sampson as a bonus :) Please don't repost these without proper credit. I appreciate it!

[ashtonsunshine]

🧛‍♂️ 🥀 👱‍♂️ 💋 x

[thecheekyblog]

HIGH MAINTENANCE DAY for a low maintenance week.

One thing i love in life is my Sunday reset. On Sunday, i turn my entire home into a 5 star spa.

The order may change but I usually start by doing my nails.

I have been growing my nails for few years now and baby, them nail looong!

I used the dip and powder technique and it never failed me. I often go for a good French tip or a nice black set. Very much my two mood if i have to be honest.

After my nails are done, i can attack step 2; Waxing.

If you can get it done professionally, go for it mamacita; But for the diy girlies, my go to is Cire divine by NAIR. It is always painful at first but the more you do it, the easier it gets. AND DONT FORGET TO DO YOUR EYEBROWS TOO.

When i am all shaved and soft, it is time to attack the hair. I have 4C hair so talking about my hair should be a post on its own. But lets just say, i will take a good time to give my hair all the love that it requires.

Then, well all that is done, i will be taking a warm shower and scrub my body properly hunny.

After my shower, i will be doing some good skin care and then lashes. ( I’m a lash tech so that helps )

With all those steps cover, my week maintenance is really minimal. No make up really required since my eyebrow and lash are done.

Just need to wear cute/simple attire since i will be all done up .

I hope this helps and i will do a more detailed blog for each of these steps.

[professorambrius]

Ava Renner Had to Take Care of Him

Jeremy tells how his daughter had to help care for him while recovering from being crushed by snowplow.

[dancesingay]

16 was the age I discovered feminism.

16 is the age I became a vegetarian.

16 is the age I decided I would never read another 17 magazine again.

16 is the age I realized I had been indoctrinated to hate women, to hate myself.

16 is the age I was diagnosed with an eating disorder, not because it started then, but because it was then that I decided to get help.

This isn't a poem

or anything it's just me

me at 16.

[chiaraminervablog]

[headfirstslide]

random off my chest

[theleadersglobe]

Australia Witnesses Record Numbers of International Students in 2024

In an unprecedented surge, Australia’s international student population has reached a new peak, with 713,144 students calling the country their educational home as of February 29, 2024. This milestone reflects the growing appeal of Australia as a global education hub. The latest data, released by the Australian Department of Home Affairs, highlights this significant uptick in temporary entrant visa holders, emphasising the country’s role in shaping global education trends.

A New Era of Educational Growth

The total number of temporary entrants, including tourists, workers, and students, has soared to an all-time high of 2.8 million, marking a substantial increase from 2.5 million in March 2023. Student visa holders have shown a steady rise, from 664,178 in September 2023 to the current figures, showcasing a robust recovery and growth trajectory post the downturn caused by the pandemic. 

Read More:(https://theleadersglobe.com/life-interest/education/australia-witnesses-record-numbers-of-international-students-in-2024/)

[mr-divabetic]

Former Senior Editor and Writer of Jet Magazine, Clarence Waldron, shares his stroke journey on this episode of Divabetic’s podcast. 

[scansfrommagazinesandbooks]

[hairmetal666]

Eddie survived the Upside Down. The bats. Vecna. And after the hospital, the town recovery, the shady government agencies clearing his name, after all of that, he has the best year and a half of his life. A lot of it is due to Steve and Robin. Well. The whole group of them, really, but Harrington and Buckley specifically.

Except that, you know, he survived extra-dimensional horrors and now he's going to die anyway, brought down in his prime by his devastating crush on Steve Harrington.

It's a stupid way to meet his end. Even worse than going at the hands of a demented telepathic wizard named after a DnD monster. Though...it's not like he didn't see the crush coming a mile away. Eddie may not have any practical experience in matters of the heart, but he knows he likes a pretty boy and Steve is the prettiest of them all.

There is no dimension where his feelings are requited, so he flirts and he pines, and knows it means nothing when Steve matches him quip for quip, touch for touch. He keeps getting himself in these situations where he thinks--maybe--but Steve is straight, constantly goes out with pretty, bubbly girls.

The pining may kill him, but he's determined to leave this world with a little bit of grace.

Until Steve's Halloween party.

It's a whole thing. All the kids, the rest of their own group of young adults, plus the Hellfire Boys, and the actual adults. It's a weird mix, but Eddie figures that, well. It's a family thing.

Halloween is his favorite holiday, one he plans for all year, but this year he decides to take it easy, electing to do a take on the vampire gang from The Lost Boys. The party is in full swing when they walk in, Wayne quickly spotting Hopper and making his way to the kitchen, but Eddie doesn't see Steve in the chaos of kids and Jonathan and Argyle's dual Frankensteins.

He grabs a beer from Robin who keeps giving him this look all knowing and sparkling and he doesn't understand it, not until he hears delighted laughter and shouts in the main room.

Buckley squeezes past him, and he takes the moment alone to close his eyes, brace for whatever fresh, unwitting, torture Steve has in store for him tonight.

He steps into the living room and time freezes.

Steve's in the shortest shorts Eddie's ever seen, thick, muscular, bitable thighs on full display. He's wearing a pink sweatshirt, neon fingerless gloves that very distantly Eddie recognizes as belonging to El, and gold hoop earrings in both ears.

Eddie has to sit down.

Wham! Isn't his kind of music, and he finds George Michael grating because of it, but--he's seen men dressed like that in magazines he steals from bookstores in Indianapolis, had wondered if George Michael was gay too. And now here Steve is, looking like a fantasy ripped direct from Eddie's brain.

Before he can make an escape, someone turns on the Monster Mash. The two Frankenstein's lurch into the room and start dancing. The rest of them are quick to follow, even Wayne and Hopper, after some light cajoling from Joyce, Max, and El.

It's silly fun, the perfect way for Eddie to forget about Steve and the way his ass looked in those shorts. They dance and goof around, and Thriller comes on, so they all try to do the dance, him and Nancy laughing until their stomachs hurt with their stiff-limbed moves.

The song switches to Material Girl, making El and Max screech, and the next thing he knows, Steve is in front of him, shimmying along. It's the closest they've been all night and now Eddie can see the faint eyeliner smudged along Steve's lash line. Something low and hot tightens in his core.

Steve grabs his shoulders, pulls Eddie closer. "C'mon, Munson, even you have to dance to Madonna!"

He laughs through his breathlessness, can't believe he and Steve are dancing together, not with Steve looking like that, somehow innocent, sexy, and ripe all at once.

Their eyes meet and Steve smiles all slow and dangerous, knotting up Eddie's stomach with a wild kind of anticipation. He doesn't have time to stop himself feeling it, can only give himself over to the shrinking distance between their bodies, the way Steve is warm and muscular against him.

Eddie's not hearing the music anymore, unaware of all their friends dancing close by. He's hypnotized by the dark heat in Steve's hazel eyes, lets himself clutch at Steve's hip, drag their bodies together. He feels Steve's breath escape in a quick burst, and it's a crash of cold water.

He disentangles himself, rushes out the patio doors. The night air is bracing as it chills his heated skin, his burning lungs. He takes a cigarette out of his jacket pocket, lighting it with a shaking hand.

That was too much. He let himself feel too much; want too much. Got swept away by Steve in makeup and earrings and tiny shorts. On the street, he hears children laughing, music thumping from a passing car, tries to get lost in that instead of his embarrassment. It makes him miss the slide of the patio door opening again. Doesn't realize he's not alone until he hears Steve say, "Eddie? You okay?"

He nods, but doesn't turn. "Just needed some air." He lifts the smoldering embers of his cigarette before dropping it and stomping it out.

Steve stands close enough that their shoulders bump. Eddie forces himself not to flinch away. "What are you doing out here? You'll freeze." It's not all a deflection.

"I'm fine," Steve says. "Sweatshirt." He wiggles the sleeve in Eddie's face.

"Yeah, but your legs, man. C'mon." He pulls his jacket off his shoulders. "At least cover them up a little."

Steve gives him an annoyed smile, but takes the jacket, trying to settle the leather around his legs. It's kind of a losing battle, but it makes them both laugh.

"I'm sorry," Steve says. "For back there. I shouldn't have pushed."

"Pushed?" Eddie feels like he missed a couple of stairs on his way down. "You didn't--"

Steve runs a hand through his hair. "Yeah, I did, Eddie. And Robin said," he sighs. "Robin said to just talk to you but I'm shit with words, so."

"So?" He faces Steve now, completely perplexed about where this is going. "I'm the one who pushed too far."

"Of course you didn't." Steve laughs a little. "I wanted to dance with you. I wanted to be close to you."

Eddie takes a step back, nervous smile on his face. "Is this some kind of weird joke?"

"What? No! Why would it be? I'm trying to say that I like you, man."

"Wha--But you're--"

"Don't--don't say popular or a jock or any of that. I'm--you know who I am, Eddie, better than most people."

"I was going to say straight."

Steve stills, blinking. "I told you I was bisexual."

"You did not!" Eddie yelps.

"I did! After went to see The Lost Boys!" He grabs Eddie's leather jacket. "I said I thought Kiefer Sutherland was sexy!"

"I thought you were being hyperbolic!"

"I wore this for you!" Steve wiggles his naked calf in Eddie's face.

"I don't like even like Wham!"

"You stared at a picture of George Michael in this outfit in one of El's Teen Beats for fifteen minutes!"

"I did NOT!" Except now that Steve's said it, Eddie has a pretty good memory of doing that very thing. "Wait. You were trying to seduce me by dressing as George Michael?"

"Like you weren't doing the same with the whole hot vampire biker thing?"

"I didn't expect it to work!"

He doesn't--will never--know who closes the distance first, but they crash together in a clash of mouths and teeth and noses. Steve's hands fist into Eddie's t-shirt, Eddie yanking at Steve's belt loops, until nothing separates them.

The kiss breaks as Steve mouths along his jaw, down his neck, and Eddie's fucking helpless at the turn of events. Never in his wildest fantasies--

"Stay tonight?" Steve asks, voice muffled against Eddie's skin.

"Are you kidding, sweetheart? I'm going to tear these shorts off with my teeth."

[just-my-latest-hyperfixation]

🧸 Beary soon 🧸

Written for the @steddiemicrofic challenge, June 2024 edition

Prompt: stuff, 483 words

Rated: G

Tags: Post-Vecna; Everybody lives; Recovery; Mutual pining; Tooth-rotting fuff

“Careful,” Eddie says as Steve sweeps a horde of tiny demons off the desk. “They're delicate.”

“Oh, yeah?” Steve gripes. His arms are sore from carrying boxes and his head hurts. “How about you pack them yourself?”

“I’d love to,” Eddie grins obnoxiously. It tugs on the bandage covering his jaw, where the bats almost tore out his throat. “But alas, I’m under strict orders to rest.”

He settles against the headboard of his bed and winces as the movement pulls on his stitches.

“So you’d rather watch me work my ass off?”

“Exactly, big boy.” Eddie winks at him, and Steve feels himself flush for reasons he’s been refusing to examine ever since the spring break from hell. “Now go. If you can’t handle them with the appropriate care, I’ll get Henderson to do it. Carry those out to the van.”

He gestures at another pile of boxes, like a king giving orders, and returns to his comic book.

While he lugs the first box outside, Steve silently marvels at how much stuff the Munsons have in their tiny trailer. At least the new one is a little bigger, so hopefully it’ll look marginally less cluttered.

He's on the porch steps when the box tears. Books and random trinkets scatter in the grass. Steve swears and drops to his knees.

A shoebox is in the dirt, lid half open. It's labeled PRIVATE in big, black letters.

Maybe, Steve thinks later, he should've looked away. But he's tired and annoyed, and he figures one look at Eddie's stash of titty magazines won't kill either of them.

There's no titties in the box. What greets him instead is his own face, eyes closed, features limp. A polaroid of him, asleep by Eddie’s hospital bed. One of the kids must've taken it, given it to Eddie after he woke up.

There's more.

Wrappers from the candy he snuck in when Eddie wouldn't stop whining about the hospital food.

The card and little stuffed bear Dustin insisted he buy from the gift shop, because everyone was supposed to get Eddie something. The bear is wearing a tiny shirt. It says Get well beary soon. Steve frowns. Why would Eddie keep a secret box full of worthless junk he gave him, like some schoolgirl with a-

…

Oh.

“Stevie?” Eddie hollers from inside. “Are you still alive? Do you need me-?”

“No!” Steve yelps. He drops the bear as if singed, then crams everything back into the shoebox, slamming the lid shut so hard the cardboard dents. “I mean … stay where you are, you're supposed to be resting.”

“I'd rest a lot easier if you weren't smashing my stuff left and right,” Eddie grumbles. “But whatever you say.”

Steve's head feels light and tingly as he carries the shoebox over to the van.

Looks like he'll need to have a talk with Eddie soon. Beary soon, preferably.

[professorambrius]

Jeremy's First Visitor

Jeremy tells which of his fellow Avengers cast members was the first to visit him in the hospital.

[lvnleah]

You Can Let It Go | AWFC x teen!reader

Summary: after a long recovery after having your endo surgery, you finally make your return to the pitch but two people you were hoping to be there aren’t.

word count: 1.5k

find the series masterlist here! (currently only two parts)

if anyone has any ideas for this series or anything they want to know send them through my asks! 💗

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Growing up you’d never had the best relationship with your parents. In comparison to your friends, your parents were never around. You lived a comfortable lifestyle and the opportunities you were given were amazing but you’d trade everything if it meant having a closer relationship with them.

Your dad had his own lawyers firm and travelled out of the country quite a lot, your mum was a PR manager for high-profile celebrities which she also travelled a lot for. With your parents travelling a lot it meant that you were left with your grandma.

It had been two months since your endometriosis surgery, the weeks after the surgery were spent with Beth, Viv and Leah making sure you didn’t lift a finger. They cooked your meals, cleaned up after you, did your laundry and spent many days with you lying in bed watching Disney movies.

Leah visited every day after training, bringing you your favourite snacks and magazines to flick through. She was there for you no matter what time of the day it was, there was one occasion where you slipped out of bed and cried in pain in her arms while you were sleeping over.

You found yourself unable to sleep, the pain in your abdomen stubbornly refusing to go. You slipped out of bed and slowly walked down the hall to the living room where Leah, Beth and Viv were sitting on the couch a movie playing softly in the background.

“Leah,” you whispered, tapping her shoulder gently.

She stirred, blinking sleepily at you. “Hey, kid. What’s up?”

“Can’t sleep,” you admitted, your voice shaky. “The pain...it’s really bad tonight.”

Leah sat up immediately, “Okay, let’s try and get you comfortable.” She helped you back to your room, propped you up with pillows, and handed you the heating pad. “Take some more pain relief. I’ll stay with you until it kicks in.”

You nodded as Leah climbed onto the bed beside you, you cuddled into her, “I’m scared, Leah. What if this never gets better?”

“It will, kid,” Leah reassured you, her voice soft but firm. “It might take time, and it might be hard, but you’re strong. And you’re not alone in this.”

You gradually started to feel better. The pain became more manageable, and you began to regain your strength. Beth, Viv, and Leah were with you every step of the way.

Eventually, you returned to training, the physios had made up a plan that introduced you back into training slowly and carefully. The team welcomed you back with open arms. You took it one day at a time, listening to your body and not pushing yourself too hard.

The morning of your comeback game came quickly. You woke up feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness, you were a little tired after not being able to sleep out of excitement. Beth and Viv were already in the kitchen, preparing breakfast. You quickly got dressed and joined them, your excitement bubbling over.

“Morning!” you greeted cheerfully, plopping down at the kitchen island.

“Morning, kid,” Beth said with a smile, flipping a pancake onto a plate. “Big day today! How are you feeling?”

“Excited! And a little nervous,” you admitted “But mostly excited, I think, I don’t know. I can’t wait to play again.”

Viv grinned, setting a glass of orange juice in front of you. “You’re going to do great. We’ve all seen how hard you’ve worked to get back to this point.”

You dug into your breakfast, the food helping to calm your nerves. “Thanks, Viv. I’m just really hoping my parents show up. I haven’t seen them in a while, and it would mean a lot if they were there.”

Beth and Viv exchanged a quick glance, but you were too focused on your pancakes to notice. “I’m sure they’ll be there,” Beth said, trying to keep her tone light.

“Yeah,” you said, a hopeful smile on your face. “It’ll be nice to have them see me play again.”

After breakfast, you grabbed your gear and headed out with Beth and Viv. The car ride to the stadium was filled with chatter and laughter, the three of you discussing tactics and game plans. Your excitement was infectious, and even Beth and Viv couldn’t help but feel the anticipation.

You arrived at Meadow Park, instantly finding Kyra and Alessia to walk around the pitch with. After that, you headed inside and changed into your kits before heading out for a warm-up.

As the warmup came to an end, you noticed Leah, Beth and Viv talking near the entrance to the changing room. Leah looked over at you, nodding before Beth and Viv walked away.

As you headed for the changing room with Kyra, laughing your heads off, Leah was waiting for you, her expression a little more serious than usual.

“Hey, kid. Can we talk for a sec?” she asked.

You felt a knot tighten in your stomach. “Sure, what’s up?”

Leah glanced around, ensuring no one else was within earshot. “I know you were hoping your parents would be here today...but they’ve not turned up, kid.”

You swallowed hard, trying to mask the sting of disappointment. “Oh, that’s okay. I figured they might not make it. Work and all.”

Leah pulled you into a hug. “I’m sorry, kid. We’re all here for you, though.”

“Yeah, I know. Thanks, Leah.” You forced a smile, determined not to let the news dampen your excitement.

As the game began, you could feel the weight of their absence pressing on you. You tried to focus but your mind kept drifting back to the empty seats where you’d hoped to see your parents. Each missed pass, each stumble felt like a personal failure, the disappointment gnawing at your confidence.

By halftime, it was clear that something was off. Beth and Viv exchanged worried glances. As you took a sip of water, Jonas walked over to you.

“I’m taking you off, okay?” He told you, “I heard what’s happened, you’re not in the right frame of mind and I don’t want any injuries. Is that okay?”

You nodded and changed into your Arsenal tracksuit before joining the rest of the team on the bench. The full-time whistle blew and you shook the hands of the other team before heading inside to gather your things.

The car ride home was silent. Beth and Viv tried to engage you in conversation, but you responded with blunt answers, your gaze fixed out the window. The tension in the car was thick, and you could feel their concern, but you were too wrapped up in your own thoughts to address it.

Why couldn’t they turn up for one thing? All you wanted was a few hours of their time.

As soon as you got home, you headed straight to your room, slamming the door behind you. The moment you were alone, the tears you’d been holding back spilt over. You curled up on your bed, clutching your childhood teddy to your chest as sobs wracked your body.

In the kitchen, Beth and Viv stood in uneasy silence, the weight of your sadness pressing down on them. “She’s really hurting, Viv,” Beth said quietly, her voice tinged with worry.

“I know,” Viv replied, her brow furrowed. “We need to do something.”

Beth nodded. “Let’s go to her.”

They made their way to your room, knocking gently on the door. “Hey, it’s just us,” Beth called softly. “Can we come in?”

You wiped your tears away quickly, trying to compose yourself. “I’m fine. Just…just need some time alone.”

“Please, kid,” Viv said, her voice tender. “Let us in.”

You hesitated, but the sincerity in their voices made you relent. “Okay,” you whispered.

They entered the room, closing the door behind them. They sat down on the end of your bed together. “We’re here for you,” Beth said, her hand resting gently on your leg.

You began to cry again, harder this time. “I just... I wanted them to be here,” you choked out. “I thought... maybe they’d come.”

Viv laid down beside you and pulled you into a hug, her arms comforting. “I know, kid. It’s okay to feel hurt. But we’re here, and we care about you so much.”

Beth rubbed your back soothingly. “You don’t have to go through this alone. We’re your family too.”

“I wish you were my parents,” you confessed through your tears. “You’ve done more for me than they ever have. I’m…I’m so stupid for thinking they’d turn up!”

Viv tightened her embrace. “We love you, Y/N. And we’ll always be here for you, no matter what.”

Beth nodded, her eyes glistening with her own tears. “You’re not alone. Not now, not ever.”

Their words, their presence, soothed the ache in your heart. For the first time, you felt the depth of their love and support, and it gave you a sense of belonging you hadn’t known you needed. The three of you sat there for a long time, holding each other until the tears finally stopped and you fell asleep.

You fell asleep in their arms, clutching your childhood teddy. Once they knew you were asleep, they slipped out of your room and let you sleep the night away.

[corroded-hellfire]

Fic request idea baby: what about Eddie with a gf who used to have an ED but she's doing better now but he notices that she's starting to relapse like skipping meals and he brings it up to her and just angst to fluff

+ Hey if ur taking requests:

what about if Effie's gf randomly stops changing in front of him like she's getting into pj and she goes to the bathroom and then starts asking for the lights to be off during sex and he's super confused and asks her about it and basically angst bc she's trying to hide it but may be she had a slip during ED recovery?

+ Hi lovie a lil request! What about Eddie with a gf whose in eating disorder recovery like she used to struggle but it's been a few years since then and she's don't just fine but he notices she's starting to relapse?

These three requests seemed to overlap just perfectly. The beautiful and talented @munson-blurbs was kind enough to write these with me so go shower her with all the love 💚

Warnings: eating disorders, body image issues, relapse struggles. Please, if you want or need to talk to somebody, I'm always here.

Words: 1.5k

You’re fairly certain you’re living on the sun’s surface. 

Logic would say that you haven’t left Hawkins, but the temperature outside begs to differ. 

“Christ, it’s like 1,000 degrees in here,” Eddie mumbles, cracking open a cold can of Pepsi and taking a swig. He plants a kiss on your forehead, careful not to disturb your reading. 

You smile but keep your nose buried in the bridal magazine Nancy had bought for you. Page after page of wedding dresses had you swimming in a sea of white, each more beautiful—and expensive—than the last. 

Oh, well. At least it would give you an idea of what to look for at your bridal appointment in a few weeks. 

What truly caught your eye was an article tucked towards the back of the magazine. Its title boldly declares, “Shedding for the Wedding: Lose that Weight and Look Great!” 

You shouldn’t read it. It’ll only upset you, only bring back the bad thoughts and routines and restrictions that you’d fought so hard to overcome. And yet you’re drawn to it, eyes scanning each fad diet for one that might help you. 

No. Yes. No. Yes. Put the magazine down. Stop reading the diet tips and comparing yourself to the models. 

But they’re so pretty and so skinny. If Eddie saw them, he might not even want to marry you anymore. Not when he saw how beautiful women were supposed to look in wedding dresses. 

Maybe losing a few pounds wouldn’t hurt. One diet couldn’t be so bad. It would be temporary, just until the wedding. 

It was totally fine. 

“What are we thinking for dinner tonight, babe?” Eddie rifles through the pantry and pulls out two boxes of pasta. “We have bowties and rigatoni. I’m personally more of a bowtie man myself, but it’s your call.”

You shake your head. “I’m good. Just gonna have some soup.” Reaching around him, you pluck a can of Progresso off of the shelf. 

“Soup?” Eddie wrinkles his nose in confusion. “It’s hotter than Satan’s tits outside.”

You shrug, trying to play it off casually. “Period craving.”

“You’re not on your period.”

“Well, PMS.”

Something nags at you—if you have to hide your new soup diet from your husband-to-be, maybe it’s not a good idea. Maybe you should put the can away and make pasta instead. But then you remember those gorgeous models, so svelte and sculpted and perfect. 

Soup it is. 

It’s harder to ignore the problem as more symptoms of the illness start to return. The first time you’d gathered up your pajamas and taken them into the bathroom with you, Eddie just assumed you were going to take a shower. When you emerged with bone-dry hair not two minutes later, he was puzzled. But he didn’t say anything, not wanting to come across as overprotective or overbearing. Maybe there was some simple excuse and he didn’t want to make you feel like you have to answer to him about every little thing. 

Eddie can’t ignore that there’s a problem anymore when you slip back into one of your old habits that has always broken his heart. Sex was now lights off and you kept your shirt on. Eddie wanted to see every part of you, touch every part of you. He was going to be your husband and the fact that you didn’t want him to see this part of you—that he has made very clear in the past that he fucking loves—disheartens him. 

Stress begins to build up within Eddie. He feels like he’s toeing the line because he doesn’t want to sound accusatory, but he also knows something is going on with you. And he has a pretty good idea of what it is. You try to hide how you pinch at your stomach and thighs, but he sees. The way you measure your wrists with your fingers all throughout the day. He wonders if you even realize you’re doing it, or if it’s reflexive at this point. 

Though you never mention it, you always have your green journal around the kitchen. Eddie respects your privacy enough not to go through it, but reaching for the keys over your shoulder one evening he notices that you’re making a list of what you’ve eaten that day. His stomach sinks as yet another familiar pattern emerges from the days when your disorder was at its worst. Your fiancé is coming closer to his breaking point and he still doesn’t know what to do or even who to go to about this. 

The final straw though is when you turn down girls’ night with Nancy and Robin at the Cheesecake Factory. You lived for nights out with your two best friends. They knew you almost as well as Eddie did though, so he knew you wouldn’t be able to sit down at a restaurant with them and bullshit your way out of not eating a proper meal like you should. 

Eddie knows now he has to say something. Anything, really. When you walk out of your shared bedroom in sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt, Eddie chews on his bottom lip as he mentally prepares for the conversation he knows needs to happen. 

The moment you sit down on the couch, Eddie sits next to you. You reach for the remote but your hand doesn’t even make it to the piece of plastic before Eddie speaks.

“Can we, um, talk?”

“About what?” you ask, sitting back against the couch cushions. 

Your fiancé leans forward, his elbows resting on his knees. He rubs his hands together and his tongue pokes out of his pouty pink lips like it does whenever he’s concentrating on something. 

“I’m worried about you, babe,” he finally says. “You’re not yourself.” 

Eddie doesn’t miss the way you reflexively shrink in on yourself.

“I’m just stressed with wedding stuff,” you say. 

“That’s why you didn’t hang out with Nancy and Robin?” Eddie asks, raising his eyebrows. 

“Mhm.”

“And all the pinching and not eating and not wanting me to see you naked? Is that because of wedding stress, too?”

You turn away from him and pull your knees to your chest, but he moves to face you again. “Baby, I know something’s wrong. And the last time I saw you like this, it was because…”

“I told you, I’m fine,” you snap. “I’m just stressed. Maybe if you spent more time helping me plan and less time planning stupid campaigns for a game you played back in high school, you’d understand.”

The accusation is unfair, and you know it. Sure, you’ve been doing most of the planning, but he’s been there every step of the way.

Eddie winces at your harsh tone. He looks like he has a rebuttal but gives up after a moment “Fine. Let’s just go to bed.”

Guilt from your outburst wracks your body and holds sleep hostage. After tossing and turning for a little while, you hear soft cries coming from Eddie’s side of the bed. 

“Eds?” Your heart leaps into your chest. “What’s going on?” You give him a hug from behind, latching on like a koala to a tree trunk until he turns to face you. 

Even in the darkness, you can see the way his eyes shine with tears. “I know you relapsed and…and I don’t know what to do,” he manages through his sobs. “I don’t know how to help, so I just stand there like a goddamn idiot, but I can’t keep pretending like nothing’s wrong! I can’t keep pretending that you’re not hurting yourself!”

He knew. The whole time you thought you’d been protecting him from the truth, and he knew. 

You wipe at his cheeks, feeling the moisture on your palms. “I’m sorry.”

Eddie shakes his head. “‘S not your fault, I know it’s not, but…you need to get help for this. I can’t lose my girl.” He presses his lips to your forehead and lets them linger there, holding you as tightly as he can. “Please. Please.”

No. You need to lose weight. You need to look good; no, perfect in your dress. All eyes are going to be on you, and you can’t show a single flaw. 

The argument sits on your tongue, defensiveness ready to spring into action. But then you see his brokenness, his vulnerability as he unabashedly wears his heart on his sleeve. 

Skinny. Skinnier. Skinniest. 

But then—Eddie. 

Eddie, who laid his heart out for you. Who let down the walls he’d spent years building just so he could receive your love. Who felt your pain despite your best attempts to shield him from it. 

Maybe you weren’t ready to get better for yourself, but until you were, you could do it for him. 

You nod, pulling back and kissing him softly. “I will. I promise. First thing tomorrow morning.”

“I’ll wake you up the moment the sun rises.”

At this, you have to let out a small laugh. “The therapy clinic doesn’t open until nine.”

Eddie cradles your face in his calloused palms, leaning in to gently kiss your nose. “Then I’ll wake you up at nine.”