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zumindest der Phoenix-Übersetzer ist noch normal

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This whole journey of realising I'm bi, then a few years later becoming poly, then a few years later dipping my feet in the local kink scene has really turned me into the most ridiculous person, tbh. As I recently told a friend "I swing both ways. With reckless abandon." (Though really, I should've said "I swing in all directions", given how many directions there are to swing in where one might hit a hot person.)

I'm just crushing on every motherfucker I see these days. (Okay, not technically EVERY one, but I now have an actual mental LIST of people I would love to get to ... erm, know better? Unfortunately this list prominently includes all the people my long-term partners are dating, which just seems presumptuous, tbh. But eh, I can have thoughts and hopes and see how things develop, I'm not gonna be a pushy asshole about it.)

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good things will happen 🧿

things that are meant to be will fall into place 🧿

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Just in case anyone was wondering, the whole "Get your shit together, get out there and experience things" project is actually going really well. I have experienced many strange and wonderful things (and some strange and wonderful people) these past few months.

10/10 would recommend.

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what's the first movie you remember seeing in theaters? don't try and be all edgy and cool and say like tetsuo: the iron man. be honest.

Go!!

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Beyblade

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i gotta remember this

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hmmm

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one really big life lesson I am still learning is how to recognize the differences between three separate, but highly interactive and confusable, things that can be happening:

1) Someone is mad at you

2) Someone has revised their opinion of you downwards

3) Something bad is going to happen to you

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i was rly bummed out and then i saw this picture and im cured now

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vander fumbled hard like imagine having a gorgeous anarchist boyfriend with a straight up sculpted nose and a crazy haircut and then fumbling him so hard he gets a villain arc

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The calmest orange car ever 🐱🐱

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Please enjoy these insults:

Among many other Talents, my family is good at insults.  Please enjoy:

”We promise to return Cousin Scott in as many pieces as we receive him.” “…Pieces, Plural?” “Scott, his artifical leg, and the wee peanut rattling around his skull that he uses for a brain.”

“You’re going to make some some future paleontologist very famous when they discover your solid-bone skull.”

“Professor Ingram has left for the University of Lousiana’s Psych department, thereby raising the average IQ of both departments.”

“Can you believe someone started a rumor that I slept my way to the top?” “No way.  You’re nowhere near to the top.”

“You are my sister and I love you but I’m pretty sure if I were to shout directly into your ear canal you’d echo.”

“Some things ferment and improve with age- Wine and Cheese for instance. You’ve just decomposed.”

“Dense doesn’t begin to cover it.  People who get close to him get trapped in his Event Horizon.”

“Some people have a devil on thier shoulder that whispers temptations to them.  Yours is bellowing that that was over the line.”

“I won’t deny that you have hidden depths, but they’re less like the potentially levithan-filled ocean and more like the secret compartment in the dryer where the socks get lost.”

“I can’t come to your birthday Nina.  I’ve scheduled a root canal that day specifically so I wouldn’t have to.”

“She describes her ancestry and it sounds like a fancy cheese platter but in person she’s velveeta.”

“Your inner machinations are a rotating pie display.”