#really shows how committed i am
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nora's going to kill me one day when she finds out im dell's sword supplier but i have no regrets
#and in my defense the swords are literally just sitting around here#ive got decent plausible deniability#the dialogue is the same but i like the vibe of seeing all of the instances of sword giftings#really shows how committed i am#the first time i was like ... is she going react to this?#and then boom loved gift#and so every time i try it i go '...? huh ill be'#i cant keep getting away with this#fields of mistria#dell fom#fom spoilers#sorta#sorry if the alt ids are a little clunky
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Tokucember Day 2: Favorite Show
Had some fun with this and spent way longer than intended lmao
Prompt List
#kamen rider kuuga#godai yusuke#art#my post#tokucember#TOMORROW IS SOMETHING NON KUUGA I PROMISE#is it only because ichijo isnt officially a secondary... maybe... he will be showing up later tho sorry not sorry#am i really committing to diagetic text who knows#sadly kuuga does not actually skateboard in the show but godai definitly knows how imoimo#had the day off today so i had a lot of time- most days will not be this quality lmao
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Evil cbs show of all time….what if demonic possession was an accepted legal pleading. what if michael emerson had devoted his entire existence to ruining your life specifically. and most importantly, what if all sleep paralysis demons were just one guy named George.
#truly i am transfixed by this show’s worlbuilding#evil cbs#thoughts#i like how most of the demons MOs are ‘just be really smug and annoying and occasionally commit atrocities’
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What if conversations and arguments with God almost never utilize words?
Like, God and the archangels and all primordial entities look human with the CW's budget, but if they are in fact abstracts without form that obliterate lesser minds that try to comprehend them, then Lucifer probably didn't refuse to love humanity in King's English.
It's also notable to me that not just Heaven, but patriarchal figures in general communicate through wordless visions in Supernatural. (Which fits with the motif of 'Your absent father believes he is communicating to you perfectly because he is talking to your shoulder and not looking at your face.') Zachariah (subordinate of Michael who is God's firstborn, mind) builds his little AU worlds to argue with Dean and Sam, Naomi makes Castiel kill a thousand Deans, but the Alpha Vampire also sends his children hallucinations and Azazel also, in a way, is giving Sam visions.
If you're talking to an embodiment of creation, you're probably talking to some complex representation of creation itself and what better way is that than a full and complete and false reality? Gabriel cosplays as a lesser god and becomes a Trickster, warping reality to communicate to humans their failings. Lucifer, fresh from the cage, does the same to Nick before speaking to him, sending Nick visions of his tragic loss before referencing it in conversation. Lucifer also makes the demons dream for the first time, according to Meg. The prophets who are able to interpret the words of God and hear his voice, are plagued by visions - Fucking Chuck described his visions as seeing things go down but not getting the full context or just very badly describing it, as seen with Dean and the tarp in the back window being "black wings" and how Chuck saw Lilith and Sam and assumed they'd be fucking shortly.
So. Maybe Archangels, the original four angels to witness God, have to get used to their understanding of reality morphing and sliding to fit God's intentions when they talk. They Probably have or develop a way to know when they're experiencing Real Reality and Dad Reality, and it doesn't fuck them up. Probably.
Or maybe when God abandoned humans long enough for the field of psychology to open up and the unethical 60's happened, He got to find out that He's the gaslighter of all time and it might've driven the kids insane. (What if God talked to Lucifer, His favorite, the most?)
(This also makes the interpretation of the cage being dragged through every single possibility and consequence of your actions per 'I Love Lucy' by Grin into the Dad Yelling At You Box, and boy, Meg would be right that souls freshly pinned to the rack would forget who they were if God was gaslighting his son on a cosmic scale in the basement.)
#lucifer spn#Am I good at meta? No but I don't have to be good to post here. It's tumblr. There's no licensing board you can complain to.#Yes this does mean that Lucifer could've walked into Elysian Fields - a gathering of *gods* - and when faced with his brother#His younger and incorrect brother with a blade in his hand he might have thought this was another conversation a quick chat he's owed#Lucifer is going by the plan but this isn't the plan but Is It Now? Is It Real? And Gabriel is espousing the virtues of the humans then#Then they're fighting and Lucifer gets the edge. He taught his brother everything.#This is how you show God you're committed - with a blade in hand and a sacrifice screaming below it. This is how the argument goes.#But. It doesn't end. It's reality as God left it.#Lucifer asked Gabriel to not make him do it. Was he really asking Him?
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I unfortunately picked up Bravely Default 2 again (I bought it back when it released) and then started over since I last played it in June 2021. And. You know what. I like these silly beans. And then I saw concept art for Dag's expressions and I am not the same. Why did they decide to give him huge fangs in it.
(also I'm trying so hard to avoid spoilers less for plot but more for characters so if you know anything that happens to characters shhhhh. also the expression concept is below the read more so you can see what I mean.)
#bravely default 2#dag rampage#selene noetic#i only just recently reached ch2 in the game and i may have a problem#someone was like wait how have you not gotten farther in 25 hours#and im like im sorry its a problem i have an obsession you dont understand#and then he found out i had three of the four party members with two jobs capped at 12#and then the fourth only had one capped but a bunch high up#and then i told him i was trying to get the gambler asterisk and that meant i had to play a childrens card game#and then i had to do side quests when they popped up#and he was like wait at that point you probably dont need jobs at 12 omg#and im like i know its a problem i cant stop it#so anyway chapter 1 took me forever because i committed to the grind too much#the emotions i feel for silly lil side characters ................ its too real#like even the fact that you beat these two up in the prologue im like teehee funny lil blonde guy#then you dont interact with them in a ch1 quest but they show up again at the same time doing the same quest#and guys i am FEELING EMOTIONS theyre just funny lil mercenaries doin funny lil mercenary things#also please do not tell me anything about the game past ch1 because i want to continue to enjoy experiencing it#which is why i have my ask box closed bc its a game from 2021 and i know im really behind the times#but i managed to not know anything until now and i wanna keep it that way#also i dont really know how to properly draw noses especially when i doodle#but his nose is important and i already struggle with his big jaw so i had to include it somehow#and in the concept art it looks like he has a lil stubble but in game i dont see it so im like ... squinting at he
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from monday and tuesday. JAW didn’t have a lot of carmy’s present-day tattoos on & obviously there’s the slight variation on the classico carmy outfit, all looking like Flashback. but then there was fak and suit era richie and most intriguingly GARRETT. hard to guess what it could mean if they are filming for two seasons at once, but 👀
in case it’s not clear, the person JAW was taking the picture of with crew was courtney storer





#no will poulter sightings but I am the biggest & most stressed out proponent of luca inadvertently fucking all carmy’s shit up even more#esp given the end of season 2 and carmy committing himself to the walk-in the differences in his and luca’s approaches to life#are so like on the nose but in a good way#& to have not only carmy but everyone around him come face to face with that is gonna beeeeeeeee really hard#whenever I try to convince my friends to watch the show I say one of the themes is How To Live and this is that and it is stressing me OUT#andrew lopez#jeremy allen white#the bear#chris storer#ebon moss-bachrach#matty matheson#courtney storer
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reading idw 50 -_- bruh
#ok i am not a blind ian flynn hater i think his hate is overblown and a lot of it is misdirected sega hate#and like. tbc i am not advocating for sonic to kill eggman. it doesnt make sense for how things currently are. we need a villain#and on paper. i get it. he embodies freedom! of course he wants everyone to be free#but atp the ‘’i redeem everyone and everyone who dislikes that is a stupid loser bitch’’ schtick is really exhausting and stupid#and i really wish theyd stop fucking harping on it#tbh in this issue it honestly feels like a vent towards fan criticism bc i know ppl did not like this aspect of the comics#because ooooh its always people hating on sonic unfairly but he just believes in his principlesssss#besides the thing that hes not the redemption angel one but whatever#i think what makes it worse is that its NEVER WORKED so far. its just him letting the villains go and being shocked when theyre still evil#people rag on su but at least that show actually committed to its redemption message and ACTUALLY redeemed certain characters#this is like the opposite extreme from that show where sonic keeps ringing the redemption bell and it just wont work#and if thats a flaw: cool! but its clearly not bc everytime it comes up they harp on how sonic is the bigger person#and everyone mad at him is just so meannnnnn!!#why is surge even bringing this up lol. thats what makes it feel like a ‘’complaining about the fans’’ issue to me#because why is surge pinpointing this as her issue with sonic on their FIRST MEETING. he didnt even redeem starline??#or try to. whatever#the buildup to me seemed more like she hated the idea of sonic#and idk i feel more like she’d be mad that he cant defeat them for good. not for sparing them#and she’d jeer abt how hes a little pussy or something idk#why is she an idw critic all of a sudden#its so disappointing like really? this is how we’re spending thr milestone issue?#echoed voice
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Really strange to reach a point in my life where my time is worth a good amount of money but having no real on-paper ways to show my talents
#like a fair byproduct of how ive gone about things trade/skill wise for the past 20 years yet still its like . i think im ready Ready ready#to just kick out and act on my skills for good. perhaps i really might be holding myself back in that regard now and just need to#commit to these things i know i want to do and projects I want to complete. it feels. easy but steady. it feels like what i need to be#doing with my time but also feels challenging still and gratifying. im calculated but still able to approach it with passion and whimsy#all things i feel i may have took for granted before really. i think im ready ready ready READY ready#but being able to prove what I can do TO OTHERS is a matter of putting myself out there bc i dont really have like. a degree or w/e#or worked for some xyz company acting on those skills but i know enough to manage myself in these fields and skills and trades which#is arguably the most important part now#that being said: ladies dykes women i am producing music again i am sound designing again i am writing more and more i am#READY ready and in a way still restraining myself to say: Im excited to show you all when I have something tangible and complete#professionally so and to my highest creative degrees!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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i love complaining so here’s my complaint of the day! people who watch horror movies and their only takeaway, when prompted by somebody analyzing/understanding part of the film, is “well it didn’t have to result in murder/they didn’t have to do that/that scary thing was unnecessary” are SO fucking annoying. you watched the horrifying movie full of dramatized realities and thought the horrifying things were unnecessary? why even bother with horror at all. go home and turn on gilmore girls and titanic you’ll be alright. those will be easy for you to digest since clearly you can’t think deeply about anything that isn’t completely down to earth and rational
#people who think pearl who just wanted to be understanded didn’t need to kill people to get that… hello?#that’s the point. the murders are meant to show how deeply she feels#how the hole in her chest gapes#how much she feels like she’s missing#what would drive her to commit such acts#it’s not meant to be realistic or reasonable but by seeing her struggles you’re meant to sympathize anyway#when you think deeply about it. you know#because so many actual non-murderers feel that way#and everything people say about pearl is just incorrect to be honest#they all just see surface level when it’s much deeper than that. the movie is an art. it contains multitudes#not to sound like a four eyes but like… yeah??!#her mom neglected her she was completely abandoned her husband at war she had no friends couldn’t leave her farm bc of the pandemic and her#father was practically comatose and he was the parent she loved the most. how did you expect her to react in a horror movie no less#you’re meant to think about her character… and you don’t even have to try very hard in this case because she has like a 7 minute monologue#explaining everything she feels and why#and how she knows it’s wrong or off putting#like be so seriousjxkxhdjshf#i love pearl.#SORRY FOR BAD LANGUAGE I AM REALLY SICK RIGHT NOW#LIKE BEDRIDDEN#crazy ass fever shaky and Ugh Oh God#so anyway i meant *understood not understanded
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Shout-out to everyone who survived a "fun" easter with the family
#fucking hell#it started with finding out my dad smoked in my car when I picked up my sister#who was equally dreading the day#my mum turns into the world's tensest and judgemental presence. worsened by my aunt#then hell for autistic people (of which there are multiple present)#multiple deaf people means one uninspired conversation that isn't interesting in any way.#combinations of passive aggressiveness and people not saying a thing because they can't participate. voice volumes too damn high#weirdass food situations. Very full table. so many smells.#this goes on for over an hour. wishing for literally anything but being there. soul crushing.#then you still have to sit in that room for 2.5 hours. it just goes on and on.#my autistic deaf dad physically looks like how I feel. my mum and aunt keep piling on top of him to demand his mental presence#i leave the room once (to get my phone to show pictures to my uncle) and am immediately followed upstairs by my mum#who demands I don't leave the room (What's next. following me when I need the toilet?)#me and my sister are so bored we start throwing paper planes and fake fighting.#Which amuses the bored and the deaf#but of course my mum and aunt have opinions and this is not allowed. only soul crushing boredom allowed#they complain to each other over it while aggressively doing dishes#finally it ends because my mum and aunt start insisting my dad should go to bed if he's 'that tired'. *sprinkle on some additional ableism*#still sitting through a conversation about allergies one of my sister's friends has. my mum preaching that people should take that seriously#(meanwhile i had to cook for myself for 9 years because when my allergies were really bad no one bothered to check if i could eat something)#me and my sister go sit upstairs to discover our mum has made things we care about vanish in her room#and made things appear that should not be there#I've washed the interior of my car and hope the smell will go#you think it's over after that. but woke up with the realisation that even more things have disappeared from my sister's room.#i can't remember a time when things left outside of my room didn't disappear#I don't know why we do these family gatherings at all. no one has fun on days like that.#the housing crisis isn't making these things easy. my sister is losing her place to live again as well#she'll go hiking for a month and then work on a campsite over the summer#maybe I'll go house sitting again. idk.#can't make commitments a few months in advance like that because I'll cancel everything the second Sparks announces anything important
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Speaking of adaptations I will probably watch while in recovery, given it looks like L&Co aged up the characters, I wonder if they adjusted the talent loss timeline or if the characters are that much closer to aging out. Lucy might be ok but hopefully the others are polishing their resumes. Probably not though.
#Lucy interviewing for her job: how does your agency handle post-retirement planning#Lockwood: oh we've got that all planned out!#George is going to be a researcher and I am going to be dead :)#Lucy: do you support any other career tracks or is that it#I should probably reread hdm and pjo in preparation...#spring/summer is going to be my Middlegrade Madness Marathon#maybe I should really commit to the MG bit and also watch the Animorphs tv show#I hear it's dreadful#lockwood and co
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once again can't sleep because I'm thinking of all the ways the x files could have been a better show. alas
#i will be getting 5 hrs of sleep max tonight :')#I'm just so mad that scully's internal conflict is introduced as her feeling guilt about following her ambitions to work at the FBI#instead of going into medicine like her father wanted. and they did one really good episode about this.#and then decided that her main internal conflict for the rest of the series would be Her Uterus.#like the whole theme of the show is that searching for the truth can make you feel even more uncertain about everything in your life#and i feel like her uncertainty about & commitment to following her ambition despite what authority figures want#would make a lot of sense both for her character and the story. it's crazy that they set all that potential up & then decided to ignore it#another thing that pisses me off is how little characterization Samantha gets. like she's just The Dead Sister.#personally i think it would be really interesting to have her only described thru Mulder's recollection because there's always a bit of#doubt over whether she was really abducted so i think it would make the viewer ask the same question as everyone else in the show--#am i really going to trust this guy? is he a reliable narrator or just crazy?#is he a reliable narrator of his own insanity but not necessarily reality?#auhg I'm so mad. they did such a good job of making interesting and compelling characters and didn't give them the storylines they deserved
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I get that they probably are trying to make the gigantic robot lizard as unscary as possible but who's idea was it to give the alligator fuzzy fleece skin
There isn't a closeup where it's still enough to be sure but that sure looks like puppet/mascot suit fleece to me.
Also since I'm here it looks cool without its skin
Imagineer for scale
#I'm finding out about princess and the frog ride stuff late#im not sure it's fleece but like. they made the crocodile guy fuzzy#it doesn't look like it's even stretching all that good its moving like it has a fabric skin#did the rubber they made ursula out of not age well or what#makes more sense to me to stamp scale texture into a rubber skin than to like. make it look like a giant stuffed animal.#plus it would like. bend and stretch in ways that fabric doesnt#like the way skin does#like the way the skin of the other characters they showed did#it's like. someone somewhere said 'make sure the animatronic looks exactly like the costume' so they had to commit to that#I'm impressed with literally every other part of this figure is why I'm so focused on the skin#would be nice if the eyebrow shapes on top of the eyes moved even a little bit but that's a nitpick all else considered#i will also say that i am impressed specifically by the hand poses they chose#i dont think this figure's fingers articulate at all but the pose they put it in makes it really difficult to tell as it moves and rotates#maybe they arent even final skins who knows#so much about this works so well its sort of weird to me how the skin stands out#i didn't mention the articulated stomach panel#i appreciate that they gave him dedicated gut motors to make squash and stretch happen#but it also makes me wonder why they didnt give that eyemask shape around his eyes any movement. the whole thing could squish up or down.#tons of expressive potential squandered
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One of those texts I kind of need to sit on before I decide how I'm going to word it.
I never know how to start these, but I always have an idea on what to say. Your opinion of me actually matters a lot & the implication that you believe that I lie to you or I'm not doing enough is kinda hurtful. It comes across to me like my effort is worthless to you & that what I want doesn't matter at all. I wouldn't bring it up if I didn't think you cared, and I know you're going through a lot and shouldn't have to worry about me, but I'm getting mixed signals that are really throwing me off. What do you want from me? Am I asking too much of you and you don't know how to tell me? I sincerely want to be there for you, regardless of what it looks like to get to that point, but if you don't want me there you can tell me! What you want matters just as much, if not more, to me. I'm not the kind of person to be hostile about things if they don't work out. I don't want to be another source of stress or negativity for you, and I don't want you to be afraid of being honest with me. I constantly question if you're just too nice to tell me you aren't interested anymore, and even if you are, I might need more reassurance than you can give me because I don't think I'm very worth it to anyone for anything. If you don't think I'm trying hard enough then tell me what I need to do to change that! I'm at the point of just not knowing what I bring to your life, if anything at all. You don't need to deal with me on top of everything else, so, I'm sorry for this. Even if you don't text me back I'll feel better once I get it out there. The only thing I've ever been afraid of is not communicating exactly how much I care about you & how much you mean to me - even if it doesn't matter to you, or you don't believe me. If there comes a day where we aren't in each other's lives anymore for whatever reason, I don't want either of us to question what could've been said or done differently or regret not doing more.
#I'm gonna sleep on this one. This could be a Monday night text. Or tomorrow#I'll refine this better. I think it's important to stress the whole Gemini factor here#REALLY mixed signals. If you want me to go just say it#I don't have time for the bait and switch yknow#I don't even think he's aware. Micheal said it pretty straight up and I know he's probably right#But I will be goddamned if I don't give it my best and most honest shot.#I think about Sean a lot sometimes and how much I miss him. It could make me cry#I never got the chance to tell him anything. To show him I made it#He will NEVER get here. He will always be stuck when and where and how he died and that fucking kills me#That pain and raw grief are what keep me going at this point.... he will never experience life after that moment in time#And I am so scared that the same thing will happen to my s/o and he will walk into it with eyes open#And I can't communicate that fear to him. That profound sadness. Watching a movie over and over and hate the ending#It's *hard*. How many times can I watch it happen? How many times will it keep happening? Take my fucking revolution or whatever#I woke up angry today and im committed to being empty and full of resentment I think#I just want to talk to Sean. He would say the same thing micheal did I bet.#God I really miss him huh. Crying and shit or whatever. I don't have time for this#Sean would laugh at me for crying over some hot guy who I am clearly the side girl to#Lmao I would laugh too. Yeah. Get it together.#It's just another relapse so relax sit back and take a deep breath......
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Proof that I've internalized my role in the legal field: I'm playing a casual mobile game and keep wanting to object to the legal system's portrayal within the game
#personal#shitpost#the game in question is called love & pies#it's actually a good game! cute lil story would recommend#but. BUT.#it seems like with every new twist in the story i have to go#'wait that's not how alimony works'#'that's not how transfers of property work'#'that's not how... BEING A LAWYER works!'#admittedly i am only really familiar with family law and then only in two states in the usa#and the game is set in some ambiguous setting that can't be the usa#(since the town it's set in apparently got founded 1000 years ago)#(imagine a world where that was the usa. where we actually kept native towns intact and honored their existence)#(instead of committing genocide against the natives in both the mass racial murder and the cultural erasure senses)#(but i digress)#so like. the rules are presumably a little different in this fictional 'appleton' setting#but. some of this just... no.#no jurisdiction out there is gonna work like they show the legal system working#that's just not the way it all functions#also as someone in the field of family law and whose father is a family law attorney#i take almost personal offense to the suggestion in the game that all that matters in family law is $$$#and the side with the better lawyers can make blatantly unfair decisions without guidance#judges are there! and get involved in these cases! and for good reason! did they just forget judges exist?#and even then the whole '$$$ means good lawyers who can do anything' is... not entirely untrue but at least overblown#the story is good in other ways to be clear!#i doubt any of this would bug someone outside the legal field!#and in fact i really like that one of the characters is both a lawyer and a runner#because my dad is both of those things also hehe#but. ughhh. i needed to let this out
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flirting 101
#I REALLY DID HAVE A PANIC ATTACK ABOUT THAT#I WAS CERY UNWELL FOR NEARLY FIVE HOURS#panic attacks#panic attacks suck but dammit i’m goood at flirting#rat brain is my discord user so….. ‘they’ is me.. i call myself that. and also………. my pronouns are they/them so i’m them too#i am really really really high right now#is this funny? idk#the nightmares#anywho#this is how to flirt#flirting#i’m. watching gotham and the cop is. committing police brutality.#gotham#gotham show#alfred was just STABBED by that snitch spy#and bruce was traumatized AGAIN#alfred pennyworth#bruce wayne#and i love cats#caaaaaaaaaats#imagine your otp#dialogue prompt#here’s an ‘incorrect quote’ for ya BITCHES#incorrect quotes#is that enough tags#i’m stream of consciousness tagging rn#because i am so high
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