#doubt over whether she was really abducted so i think it would make the viewer ask the same question as everyone else in the show--

[theendofmybody]

once again can't sleep because I'm thinking of all the ways the x files could have been a better show. alas

[unweavinglies]

Gonta Gokuhara Character Analysis: When a Genius is Treated like a Child

So a quick disclaimer: Yes, I am very aware that this is most likely not canon, or at least not what the writers intended on being canon, nor am I saying that this is 100% canon and should be considered as such. This is just a fan theory/analysis I came up with for my own enjoyment and wanted to share with others, as I like coming up with theories/analysis posts and reworking canons to make enhanced stories and character development in my perspective. I firmly believe that the idea of making theories isn’t supposed to be a shouting contest to see which opinion is the most loud and correct, but should be something to share with others and find acceptance and understanding in different interpretations, even if you don’t agree with them.

Well, this has been a long time coming, hasn’t it?

I’ve been talking about wanting to do this analysis for months now to various friends and acquaintances, but I’ve only had the motivation to do as such recently, after writing a short story that dived deeper into Gonta’s mindset over the Mercy Killing Plot he and Kokichi attempted to carry out. Regardless of that, however, Gonta has been one of my favorite characters for quite some time, and I really feel like his character arc and the unfortunate tragedy behind the unintentional mistreatment of Gonta via his classmates.

So without further adieu, let’s talk about that--about what happens when a genius is treated like a child.

Warning, this does discuss some rather unfortunate topics, such as ableism, depression/self loathing, and the concept of mercy killing. Viewer discretion is advised.

The first thing we need to elaborate on, is why I am calling Gonta a “genius.” Gonta has shown difficulty in understanding simple concepts, and struggles to follow along complicated plots, such as we see in his Salmon Mode Event where he mentions that he cannot follow the plot of high fantasy stories because they tend to be so complicated. He even refers to himself as not very smart, tragically enough.

However, not is all what it seems for Gonta, as his intellect is a matter of fact, and not just an analysis, and the game’s introduction of him opens up this fact to the player in a round about way that may or may not be so subtle.

Gonta admits here that he was a wild child, lost in the forest for ten years. While the logistics are... questionable, this is a work of fiction, thus I will suspend some disbelief. Gonta being lost in the forest for ten years means that he was probably about 5-8 years old when he was lost, depending on how old he is in the game.

Touching upon this briefly, studies of wild children, specifically referencing this case here, have an extremely hard time readjusting and learning to human language, customs, and interaction. The younger a child is upon becoming a wild child and the longer they are in the wild, the less likely they will be able to learn language and certain social behaviors and skills. While it is not impossible, the likelihood of Gonta being 15 or 16 in the game is very low, and even impossible once I elaborate, and we can safely assume that with the context of him being a wild child, he is probably at least 17 years old. So a safe assumption is that Gonta was lost in the forest when he was about 7.

(Note: I am very well aware of Gonta’s potential forest family not being wolves, and instead the reptites, but these creatures Gonta speaks of very well be his own imagination spiking from the isolation from humanity, or be something else entirely. Gonta makes several references to video game characters as well, claiming he met them in real life, so I consider it highly unlikely that “reptites” are an exception to this. Either way, it won’t matter if you believe otherwise, just that it may change certain aspects of what I’m about to say in regarding education and the sort.)

What’s the point of this elaboration? Well, quite a lot, once you remember that Gonta is the Ultimate Entomologist.

Firstly, there is the fact that Gonta is a high school student at all. Gonta was lost at a very young age--it would be impossible for him to be, since not only had he spent 10 years int he wild, but he also had to rejoin human society, relearn human language and customs, and then be put back into formal education. If Gonta is still a teenager and not over 21, then Gonta would have to cram in a decade’s worth of formal education into a few months, or a few years, at most.

This makes Gonta a literal prodigy.

Had Gonta not been isolated from humanity for a decade, Gonta would have been a child prodigy, a literal genius with an intellect that couldn’t be so easily matched. Having the capacity to learn advance mathematics, language (although in the English version, he is struggling with speak (speaking with the infamous “caveman” speech pattern) scientific methods, all of it within such a short amount of time proves that Gonta is, without a shred of doubt, a genius.

Even if you take the aforementioned reptites into account, it only makes Gonta’s accomplishments slightly less impressive, depending on your interpretation of what the reptites actually are. This is because Gonta still had to engage with formal education, and even in the best case scenario where the reptites were fully advanced beings with a civilization and education (which I quite doubt, if they were, then why not give Gonta back to the human race when he was still a child? Why not guide him back to his kind? Why keep him? Even if they were afraid of humanity, it would be far, far worse for the humans to find them while looking for their lost son... I digress.) Gonta still had to learn Japan’s education. Their history, their language, their social customs--and then, Gonta had to learn how to be an entomologist.

You need to go to college to be an entomologist.

According to this website here, the basic, bare bones higher education one needs in order to apply for certain positions related to entomology is a bachelor’s degree, with most positions and places requiring a doctoral decree. There are, of course, youth clubs for students under eighteen, but from my understanding, in order to be considered an entomologist, you need a college degree.

Gonta is a high school student.

For him to be considered an Ultimate Entomologist, Gonta would have to have taken college courses and gotten some kind of degree in order to be recognized as such. Thus, Gonta is still learning a higher education within a short period of time that is incredible for any human being his age, whether it be as drastic as him having no sort of education while living in the wild, or living with the reptites.

Either way, it is safe to say that Gonta is very intelligent, whether or not he is potentially a prodigy for it.

However, this has very unfortunate implications of the way Gonta is treated by his peers in the game.

Not only does Tsumugi here reenforce that idea in everyone else’s mind...

She blatantly tells Gonta that he was being manipulated and or “tricked” into abducting everyone...

When, in actuality, not only did Gonta know exactly what he was doing:

Kokichi even elaborated on his plans quite explicitly to Gonta:

And earlier on, the rest of the class had been treating him differently than they treat one another, sort of like he was a young child they needed to guide.

For example;

Kirumi assumes Gonta is not very aware that hitting someone with such an object is dangerous... despite him being a peer to his classmates and a young man.

And when Gonta has a pretty valid concern;

He is instructed against it and/or ignored on the subject:

Even Kaede slips up a little;

And during the investigation...

Himiko is 100% convinced here that Gonta is the culprit, to the point where she is trying to trick him with this kind of phrasing.

“Are you not, not the culprit?” equates to “Are you the culprit?”

“Are you not, not, not the culprit?” equates to... I believe it would be “Are you not the culprit?”

And that’s the thing:

Like how even I was confused and unsure about the triple ‘nots’ of Himiko’s statement, Gonta is too. Very reasonably so, actually--it’s extremely awkward phrasing purposefully meant to manipulate Gonta into saying he’s the culprit of Rantaro’s murder, and it takes Kaito and Himiko to realize that it was them causing the problem when Kaede called them out on such.

And again, after Gonta explains his actions during the murder, he gets very frustrated;

Already, we are seeing the effects piling up, leading to a frustrated, angry outburst.

And by far, one of the worst examples of this sort of unintentional ableism is this:

And Himiko even just... flat out does this:

By “dumbing down” the explanation of right and left, and not noticing that Gonta is left handed, she caused him to accidentally switch the wires on the headset, causing the memory error and making this entire trial all the more worse for him. By treating him like a child, like the theme of this trial, she only made things worse for him.

And that’s the problem.

Despite Gonta trying to tell everyone that he has no idea what they’re even talking about, everyone just assumes he “can’t understand the Virtual World” and brushes him off. Again and again, Gonta was treated like a child and brushed off, and this time, it came with a heavy consequence.

These instances of “guiding” Gonta are subtle, and on their own, aren’t much to address as anything more than suggestions or words of caution. However, there is a very clear theme of “we have to tell Gonta what he should do” that starts in Chapter 1 and continues on until the end of Chapter 4. They’re unintentionally telling him that Gonta needs to be guided and needs to be reminded of pretty obvious and basic knowledge, and worst of all, that he can’t be trusted to think for himself and thus needs someone to tell him how to think and feel.

If it was one or two times, that would be a whole other story. However, these instances pile up, higher and higher throughout the entire span of Gonta’s time in the Killing Game, and the majority of the class ends up dismissing or ignoring Gonta’s concerns.

This sparks a growing desire to prove himself, to prove that he can be useful during the trials. To prove to his peers that he can do something on his own, think for himself, decide for himself, except even until his final moments;

Even after Gonta’s Alter Ego telling himself and everyone explicitly that he was not tricked into killing Miu...

... No one listens.

Instead of listening to Gonta, over and over, they continue to brush him off and treat him like a child they had to care for, and yet no one stopped to consider that Gonta is a young man. An intelligent, young man who’s socially awkward, but never the less, a peer to them. Yet they didn’t treat him like a peer, and in the end...

Gonta died thinking he was an idiot. A child. A burden who made everything worse for everyone else. They all considered him as a child, and that’s how they saw him even in his final moments.

Gonta throughout the game constantly tries to prove himself, but no one is paying attention. When he learned of the Secret of the Outside World, Gonta didn’t even have anyone else to turn to for help or comfort. His feelings of uselessness compounded by the desperation to prove himself as an equal to everyone else drove him to agreeing to mercy kill the rest of the group... because how else was a stupid, burden of a child supposed to help anyone as he was? Even though he knew killing was wrong, with Kokichi’s plan, he was able to do something “for everyone,” and even that compounded into the ultimate failure.

It’s an unfortunate reality, because had the class treated him as a fellow classmate and peer, this might have been preventable.

Either way, what do you think? Was discussing the unintentional class ableism in depth towards Gonta a bit... too much? I do believe this is the first time I’ve ever done such a post, so you’ll have to forgive me. It’s also been quite a while since I made a proper analysis, hasn’t it? I must be a little rusty...

I will say--please, do not use this post for any discourse regarding the ableism and what have you if you choose to agree with this interpretation. I will not stand for it.

Either way, I hope you at least found this post to be food for thought. See you all next time.

[smkkbert]

We ended as lovers (11/13)

Summary: Three years ago, Felicity’s life was perfect. She was offered a job at two great companies. Her boyfriend just started his own fashion label, and they picked a perfect apartment to live in together. The more heartbroken she was when Oliver got cold feet and it all ended. Now, Felicity is coming back to Starling City, well aware that she is destined to run into her ex-boyfriend there. While old feelings revive quickly, the pain still goes deep. Besides, for some reason Oliver seems to be angry with her. 

Previous Chapters: 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  or read on Ao3

* * *

Chapter 11: Like a second skin

If she didn’t know Oliver and his passion for contrasts as well as she did, Felicity would probably assume that the driver was a serial killer that was trying to abduct and kill her. Although she knew that most of the things she had heard about the Glades and the people living here were prejudices, she doubted there was much else you could do in a dark and shady alley like this. Well, there wasn’t much else to do here if you weren’t Oliver Jonas Queen.

Releasing a low sigh, Felicity leaned back into the soft leather seat and stroked her hands over the skirt of her dress. Her muscles relaxed and a soft smile spread on her lips.

Two weeks ago, she had had feared getting ulcers just from being back in Starling City. She had been even more nervous on the flight than she usually was. She had basically counted down the days until she was back in Hub City from the moment the plane had landed here, and she had been on edge every minute spent in Starling.

This time, it was completely different. Felicity had still been nervous on her flight. It had been partly because of the turmoil, but it had also been because she was excited for her short stay here. She had looked forward to it. Seeing Sara and Nyssa again and catching her breath after the troublesome week of work was a good idea. She knew that she didn’t rest enough.

Of course, there was also Oliver.

These past days since their date, Felicity had missed him. She had connected the lamp he had bought for her to the wi-fi as soon as she had woken up the next morning, and she hadn’t been surprised when the light had started burning shortly later. All week, she and Oliver had texted again and again. Despite all the work he had had to do, he had always made time to text her.

There was a little part in Felicity that thought it was stupid. She wasn’t a teenager anymore. She didn’t need a text every hour to feel safe or whatever. Still, it had just been nice to know that Oliver had been thinking about her just as much as she had been thinking about him. When it came to love, maybe people never stopped being teenagers.

Eventually, the car that Oliver had sent to the airport to pick her up and take her to her hotel as well as to wait for her there and bring her to the location of the fashion show stopped. Felicity looked out of the window nosily and perked up her eyebrows when she saw where they were. A long red carpet led down the path to the open doors of a disused metro station. The location was unusual, but it was exactly Oliver’s style.

While the driver hurried around the car, Felicity spotted Sara in the crowd. She was wearing a white jumpsuit with a red leather jacket. With the flashlights of the cameras hailing down on her, she posed for the cameras. Felicity felt a tight knot forming in the pit of her stomach just watching her, but Sara smiled naturally. She was used to the attention.

When the driver opened the door for her and reached out his hand, Felicity hesitated for a moment. Of course she wanted to support Oliver today, but she wasn’t exactly pleased to pass all those reporters. She knew exactly that it would cause a lot of attention given the history that she and Oliver shared.

“Ma’am?”

Sighing, Felicity put her fingers into the driver’s hand and let him help her out.

“That’s Felicity Smoak.”

“His ex is here.”

“She’s here and she’s wearing his design.”

Felicity felt her heart starting to race. She wasn’t used to this kind of attention because the few magazines that had asked her for interviews were professional journals. They were interested in her career and her work rather than what she was wearing and who she was sleeping with. This was something completely different.

Luckily, Sara caught sight of her and quickly approached her.

“I still can’t believe you are here,” she said, hugging her close, “first, I didn’t see you in months and now twice in less than two weeks.”

“I know.” Felicity chuckled. “It’s a good change, isn’t it?”

“The best.”

Sara leaned out of the hug, still keeping her eyes on Felicity’s face. She was watching her with a lot of attention, trying to read her face. They had texted each other a couple of times in the past days and they had had a long phone call at the weekend. Sara had wanted to know everything about the date, so Felicity had told her everything.

Right now, it wasn’t the time to talk though. With all the reporters there, one wrong word could be turned against her and make her the cover stories in all the gossip magazines currently available. It was the last thing Felicity wanted.

She shook her head lightly. It was all needed for Sara to understand. She linked her arm with Felicity’s and led her down the red carpet. Instead of continuing to pose like she had before Felicity’s arrival, Sara walked down the red carpet without a single stop. She knew that Felicity didn’t like to be in the spotlight like that.

“Are you going to tell me what’s the current status of you and Oliver?” Sara asked as soon as they were inside of the building, hidden from all the reporters. “I mean you haven’t really said what exactly you are yet.”

Felicity sighed as she walked down the stairs next to Sara.

“I wish I could tell you, but I honestly don’t know.”

“And what do you want to be the status of your relationship?”

Once more, Felicity sighed and shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know.”

These past few days, she had been thinking back and forth about this. She had tried to figure out what she wanted and whether or not she and Oliver could still have a future. As much as she had missed Oliver and as much as she had looked forward to seeing him again, she was hesitating to let in any thought of being with him. There were too many unsolved problems that would come with any future together.

“I tried to figure it out, but- wow.”

The moment they arrived at the foot of the stairs, the conversation she had just had with Sara just faded from Felicity’s mind. She was completely distracted from the beauty of the place here. The track had been set up as a catwalk. The seats for the viewers were placed in neat rows on panes of plexiglass that had been fastened over the rails. Curtains made of black velvet were separating the tracks from the tunnel, hiding where everyone was probably getting ready.

It just looked stunning. Oliver and whoever had helped him with this really had a feeling for making the darkest and ugliest places look as beautiful as paradise.

Sara seemed to sense what Felicity was thinking because she squeezed her hand lightly. Felicity turned her head, looking at her. Sara’s soft smile affected her. It made her smile too.

“I will wish good luck to Nyssa. She’s modeling tonight,” Sara explained, nodding towards the curtains, “you should come with me.”

Felicity bit down on her bottom lip. Since Nyssa’s specialty was the catwalk, and Sara’s strength were photoshoots, the two of them never got in each other’s way. Instead, they could really support each other and be there for each other. It was exactly what Felicity felt was what marriage should be like.

There was a part of Felicity that wanted to step behind that curtain and wish Nyssa good luck too. They weren’t as good friends as she and Sara were, but they were friends after all. It would feel right.

Felicity just didn’t want to meet Oliver just yet. Those last minutes before a fashion show were still critical. Oliver had to make sure that every single design fit perfectly. He never let any model out on the catwalk before he hadn’t made sure that she was looking perfect. He had a recommendation to lose there after all.

“I think I should take my seat,” Felicity said quietly, “I don’t want to distract Oliver and cause him to ruin anything here.”

“He won’t ruin anything,” Sara said, tightening her hold on Felicity’s hand, “and I am sure that he would want to see you.”

Before Felicity could protest, Sara already pulled at her hand and tugged her towards the curtain. A security guy shot them an angry glare when they neared the curtains. Realizing who they were – whether it was Felicity or Sara – he quickly pulled the curtain aside and let them pass.

In the hidden area behind, it looked even more busy than Felicity had thought it would. Two dozen small working areas had been set up for the stylists to make sure that every model was ready to go out onto the catwalk in time. People were running around, nervous or excited or whatever else they were.

Despite all the chaos, it only took seconds for Felicity to find Oliver. He was rushing around, hurrying from one working area to the other to check that every hair and make-up worked with what he had in mind. It had probably been talked out and agreed on before, but Oliver had to control it. He had to be in absolute control when it came to presenting any of his designs.

Watching him while he was ordering the stylists around, encouraging the models to give the best they had and putting the last touches to his designs, Felicity couldn’t help but smile. Everything looked incredibly hectic and chaotic, but Oliver was clearly in his element here. He loved all the business and the noises.

“Felicity. Sara.”

Hearing the familiar voice behind her, Felicity turned around. Moira approached them with her arms spread already.

“Hello, Moira.”

Oliver’s mother hugged Felicity first and then Nyssa. She was wearing a steel blue dress that looked incredibly good on her. It brought out the colors of her eyes. Her sweet perfume embraced her in a little cloud.

“Sara, Darling, Nyssa is right over there if you are looking for her.”

“Oh, perfect.” Sara flashed Felicity a brief smile. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

Felicity nodded her head and looked after Sara. She just stepped next to the window in front of Nyssa, whose face lightened up the very moment she saw her wife. Nyssa reached out her hand, and Sara put her fingers into her wife’s palm immediately. Without losing touch, they started chatting. Their eyes were locked in a loving gaze.

There was something incredibly enviable about the way Sara and Nyssa were around each other. They were so close with each other, and they looked so content with it. Felicity could only imagine from far memories what it was like to feel that way.

“They are a beautiful couple, aren’t they?”

Flashing Moira a smile, Felicity nodded her head in agreement. She quickly turned her head back to look at Nyssa and Sara once more though. They were smiling at each other, and it seemed like for them there was nobody else. Despite the three people working on Nyssa’s hair, make-up and nail polish, there seemed to be only them in their little world.

“They really are.” Nodding her head once more, Felicity released a sigh, but she pushed those thoughts away. “So, is everything ready for the big show?”

“As ready as it should be at this point,” Moira replied and nodded her head, “but it’s been a long way to here.”

Felicity nodded her head. “I am sure it is.”

“The fact that Oliver changed almost everything he had originally planned within those last two weeks robbed at least twenty years of life.” Moira chuckled, but her nervousness and exhaustion definitely sounded through. “I had to color my hair this morning for the first time in my life because the grey was shining through.”

Usually, Felicity would laugh about the fun Moira was making about herself right before she would tell her that it didn’t take away any of her beauty. Even if her age would be shining through, she would still be one of the most beautiful women Felicity had ever met. Despite the make-up and everything else, she was just a natural beauty.

Felicity couldn’t focus on any of that though. She was too distracted by the fact that Oliver had changed so many things about the fashion show within the last two weeks. Oliver was often chaotic, even when it came to work, but he would never decide on something like that lightly. Putting all the designs for a collection together took months. He must be completely sleep-deprived if he had designed and tailored all those dresses in only two weeks.

“He changed everything?”

“Well, he would have to tailor new designs anyway because he tore them apart the night of… well, you know what night.” Moira cleared her throat quickly, trying to hide the awkwardness of the moment. “Instead of tailoring new dresses with the help of the design sketches, Oliver drafted a completely new collection. He worked night and day, at least as long as he wasn’t in Hub City and-“

“Sorry for tempting him away from Starling.”

Moira smiled as softly as Felicity had never seen her before. She hesitated for a second before she put her hand to Felicity’s shoulder.

“My son has a soft spot for you to say the least,” she explained, “and although it distracted him from work at the wrong time, it also gave his work a special touch that his last collections were missing. If you ask me, this is going to be the first collection to really catch up to the first’s success. Maybe it’s even better than that one. Either way, Oliver is clearly past his anger. He didn’t call this collection The Return of Happiness for no reason.”

The Return of Happiness. The words echoed in Felicity’s mind, and she couldn’t help but feel that they were absolutely beautiful. They might also hold quite some meaning if Oliver really meant them.

Felicity felt her heckles rising and quickly turned her head back over her shoulder. She wasn’t surprised to find Oliver’s eyes on her. He was taking her in intensely, letting his gaze travel up and down her body. The corners of his lips twitched slightly at the sight, and Felicity could feel her heartbeat quickening at the way his gaze made her feel.

When Felicity lifted her hand and waved at Oliver awkwardly, he said some last words to the stylist he had been talking about and hurried towards her. Although his eyes were focused on her and only her, he avoided any possible hurdle in his way.

“Hey.”

There it was again, Felicity thought with a smile. That little hey just felt like it was only ever meant for her. Just like that soft tone of his voice and the warm smile on his lips seemed to be just for her.

“Hi.”

Oliver’s arms wrapped around her, and he held her tightly. Felicity could feel his nose pushing against the crown of her head as he breathed her in. With a low sigh, Felicity closed her eyes and leaned even more against Oliver. She let herself enjoy the hug and took in a deep breath until she felt all her muscles relaxing completely.

When Oliver eventually leaned out of the hug, he let his hands stroke all the way down her arms. His fingers tightened around hers then, and he lifted her hands to pull them a little bit to the side and look her up and down. He took in the red dress he had seen in her closet last week, the dress that he had designed and that they both liked so much. Even if he’d try, he wouldn’t be able to hide his smile anymore now.

“Nice dress,” he said, meeting her eyes again. “Who’s the designer?”

“Oh, you actually know him,” Felicity replied, “your mom even meant that-“

Felicity stopped when she realized that Moira was no longer standing next to them. She hadn’t even realized that she had left them. With a quick look around, she found that she had already reached the other end of the room though.

“I guess she thought that it was better to leave us alone.”

Looking back at Oliver, she felt her heartbeat skipping a beat before it started racing in her chest once more. Just like she had seen with Sara and Nyssa before, Felicity felt like all the bustling activity just faded away. All there was were Oliver and his deep blue eyes that she could so easily get lost in.

Only now Felicity realized that Oliver was still holding her hands. His thumbs were rubbing over the back of them slowly, drawing small circles into her skin and-

“Oliver?”

The moment Oliver heard the sound of his name, he clenched his jaws. His shoulders tensed. His fingers tightened around her hands.

“Can’t someone have a moment here?”

Felicity smiled comfortingly. “No, not when you are about to rock a fashion show, so I should go and-“

“Will you still be there after the show?” Oliver asked. “To… talk? Or something?”

Or something, Felicity thought to herself and couldn’t bite back an amused smile. She’d ask Oliver what exactly he had in mind for that if she thought that she could hear his answer. She wasn’t sure that this was the right time or the right place though.

“Oliver, I came here for you,” she said instead and squeezed his hands, “so of course I will still be there after the show.”

“Promise?”

The little word made his heart beat just as high as his hey before.

“Promise,” she whispered. “For now, good luck.”

With that, she straightened up to the tips of her toes and brushed her lips against his cheek in a gentle kiss. Oliver’s eyes were unbelievably soft when Felicity stepped away from him. She squeezed his hands one last time before she turned around and headed back towards the curtains where Sara was already waiting for her.

“If you ask me,” Sara said as they both left the area, “you shouldn’t decide on what status your and Oliver’s relationship has yet because I am sure it’s going to change very soon anyway.”

Felicity shot her a brief glance, trying to look annoyed. Sara held her gaze easily though. She stood with what she had said, and Felicity couldn’t hold it against her. Sara was probably right after all.

 * * *

 “So,” Robert addressed Felicity, turning towards her the moment Malcolm Merlyn left their side, “what did you think about the fashion show?”

“I still can’t believe I gotta watch this from the front row,” Felicity said, shaking her head in disbelief, “it’s been incredible, right?”

The designs had reminded her a lot of Oliver’s first collection. Although every single design had been unique and no copy of the prior designs, the style had the same soft touch the last few collections had seemed to miss. Oliver was still playing around with mixing fabrics that didn’t seem to work together well – leather and lace, velvet and linen, silk and metal – but it was still much softer and really beautiful. Felicity wasn’t surprised that Moira thought the collection was going to be a success.

“You can definitely see how much Oliver has grown as a designer,” Robert agreed, his smile giving away that he knew little about fashion and it was mostly his pride speaking out of him there, “and as a brother. Did you know he was going to do that?”

“If with ‘that’ you mean using Thea’s accessories on his designs and calling her out on the stage to honor her work,” Felicity said, smiling at the memory, “no, I didn’t.”

Felicity couldn’t even deny that she had been surprised when she had recognized some of Thea’s designs on Oliver’s models. She had been even more surprised when Oliver had called Thea onto the stage and thanked her for the work she had contributed. He had also advertised for her designs, reminding everyone how well they fitted with his designs as well as others.

“All I did was asking him to check out Thea’s designs one day soon,” Felicity added eventually and took a sip of her champagne, “I never expected him to do this though.”

“Well, you obviously have a good influence on him,” Robert replied with a smile, “it’s never been different.”

Felicity smiled, but she lowered her gaze. She didn’t know what to think about that. In the few years that she and Oliver had been together, she had often heard that she had been a good influence on him. Although it had certainly always meant well, Felicity couldn’t help but feel awkward about it. Being a good influence on someone meant that you were changing them, and Felicity wasn’t sure that that was what relationships should be about.

When Robert cleared this throat, Felicity lifted her gaze to look at him. Robert was looking at her with pursed lips and a hesitating expression in his eyes. There was something about the way he looked at her that told Felicity there was something on his heart.

“I am sorry, Felicity,” Robert said before Felicity could ask him about it, “for not telling you that your dad was invited.”

Felicity shrugged her shoulders. After everything she had learned about Adrian that night, her father had basically been forgotten. After all, she was used to him being an ass and not really caring about her or about what she was doing.

Besides, if her father hadn’t shown up, she might not have run outside. If she hadn’t run outside, Oliver wouldn’t have followed her. Maybe, they would have never known that there were inconsistencies in the story of their break-up. Despite everything, her dad’s insensitive visit had had some good things to it.

“Don’t worry about it,” Felicity replied, shrugging her shoulders once more, “it did have some good things to it. At least it helped Oliver and me to see that something was wrong.”

“Do you think that you two are going to get back together?”

Felicity almost choked on her champagne at Robert’s question. She hadn’t taken him to be this direct when it came to her relationship with his son. When they had been together, he had been the one that had been more reserved. Moira had been the one to push a little with her questions, asking about their intentions for the future, including weddings and kids. She had been a little nosy although she had still been quite pleasant.

Eventually, Felicity got a hold on her coughing. She took a deep breath and looked right at Robert. He looked a little amused like he had only wanted to tease her with his question anyway.

Felicity shrugged her shoulders. “Who knows?”

From the corner of her eyes, she could see something that called her attraction. Only when she turned her head, she saw that it was Oliver. She wasn’t surprised about it though. They always seemed to know where they were and what they were doing.

Cocking her head slightly, Felicity watched him. Oliver was smiling politely, nodding his head to whatever his opponent was saying. He really did his best to look patient and interested. People who didn’t know him as well as Felicity knew him would probably fall for it. Since Felicity knew him as well as she knew him, there was no way she’d fall for it.

Poor Oliver, Felicity thought to herself. He loved his fashion, and he loved these fashion shows. He hated the after-parties though. They stressed him out because he didn’t really like to talk to people, especially when it was small talk. Sometimes, Felicity was still surprised that this man here was the same man he was when he was around her. They usually seemed like two completely different types of people.

When Oliver’s eyes met hers briefly, he rolled his eyes. He obviously had trouble getting rid of the guy that was talking to him.

“Since I owe you one,” Robert said, clearing his throat, “I will take care of that, so you can steal Oliver away from here.”

With that, he beckoned the waitress to come closer. He stole two glasses of whiskey from the tray and stepped right towards Oliver and the other guy, thrusting the second glass of whiskey into that guy’s hands. Within seconds, Felicity watched Robert urging more and more between them until his back was turned towards Oliver. Leading one hand behind his back, he gestured for Oliver to just run away as quickly as he could.

Oliver didn’t need any further invitation. He turned on his heels and headed right in her direction.

“Finally,” he whispered, wrapping his arms around her without hesitation and brushing his lips against her temple, “I thought I’d never make my way to you.”

Felicity chuckled, rubbing her hands up and down Oliver’s back. It felt so good to be back in his arms like that. There was something perfectly natural about this. Felicity almost wished that she never had to let go again.

“Congratulations on your success,” she said as soon as they pulled out of the hug, smiling at each other, “the show has been amazing. Everyone will love it.”

“We’ll know tomorrow,” Oliver said nervously, “when I read the critics.”

Felicity nodded her head slowly. She knew that Oliver did most of his work for himself. He loved designing and he loved tailoring as far as he could tailor at least. Still, he was always nervous about the critics. He wanted his work to be acknowledged.

“They will be good,” Felicity assured him, putting a hand onto his heart, “or they will be wrong. There is no in between.”

Oliver looked at her intensely like her words were his lifeline. Felicity knew that those few hours between presenting his work to the public and reading the critics in the newspapers were always difficult for Oliver. He was feeling like he was in some kind of void, unable to do anything but wait, and patience had never really been one of Oliver’s virtues.

“Thank you for including Thea by the way.”

“Yeah, I didn’t really do it for you.”

Oliver frowned at his own words. Felicity pressed her lips together and rolled them into her mouth. She didn’t want him to see her smile. It was too much fun to see Oliver struggling for words after his last attempt had sounded so wrong. Usually, she was the one having struggles to find the right words for anything.

“I mean of course I’m happy that you helped me see Thea’s talent. I would have missed it if you hadn’t tipped me off on it,” Oliver hurried to explain quickly, “but I did include her designs in the show and I did invite her on the stage because she really got talent there that shouldn’t be overlooked. Otherwise, nothing would have gotten me to do that, not even you.”

“To be honest, if you had Thea’s talent, someone else would have seen it eventually,” Felicity explained, “so she would have made her way either way.”

Oliver nodded his head. “Yeah, I guess she got the Queen Family’s-“

“Oliver?”

“I will definitely kill somebody before this day is over.”

Poor Oliver, was all Felicity could think once more. For the last three years, he had dedicated himself to his work completely. All he wanted to have now was some kind of break, so he could catch his breath and do what he wanted to do. The people around him just wouldn’t let him because they couldn’t see that things had changed for him. To their excuse, Felicity had to admit that Oliver had chosen the worst timing to take his time.

“You should go,” Felicity whispered, nodding towards the woman that had called Oliver, “we can still talk later. I won’t leave before tomorrow afternoon, so talk to these people here. We can still meet up tomorrow for lunch. I don’t mind.”

“I mind,” Oliver replied, grabbing her hands and holding them tightly, “because I want to spend time with you. That’s more important to me than anything else that is here. Let’s run away.”

Felicity already opened her mouth to reply, but she didn’t really know what to say. She couldn’t ask Oliver to run away with her. If the roles were reversed, she knew that she couldn’t do this. The success of her company meant so much to her because so much depended on it that she couldn’t risk it easily.

“We can’t do that,” Felicity told him and shook her head, “I mean all those people came here for you and-“

“You came here for me,” Oliver interrupted her firmly, shaking his head, “that is what you said to me before the show. You came here for me. Everyone else came for the reporters or my parents or the fashion show itself. You came here for me, so you are the person I want to spend time with tonight. I even got a new phone, so I can put it on mute. It’s so cool.”

Felicity chuckled, but she soon cocked her head at Oliver again. She wanted to go somewhere with him, somewhere where there were no interruptions and where they could have their moment without anyone calling him away. She had come here for him and not because of the fashion show or anything else, so she wanted to spend time with him of course.

“I-“

“You should go,” Moira whispered as she stepped towards them and put her hands to both of their backs, “I will handle all of this.”

“Are you sure, Moira,” Felicity asked, “because I know that-“

“She said we should go,” Oliver said urgently, already grabbing Felicity’s hand, “so we should go before she changes her mind.”

He said those last words right into her ear, tightening his fingers around her hand. Looking at him, Felicity saw how serious he was about it. He really just wanted to leave. Who was she to disagree with him on it?

“Okay,” she said quickly, “let’s go.”

“And take the back exit,” Moira whispered, “or you’ll have your photo printed on the front cover of every tabloid.”

Oliver nodded. He shot Felicity a brief glance, making sure that she was ready. As soon as Felicity nodded her head, giving her consent to go with Oliver wherever he wanted to go right now, he pulled at her hand and led her away. Hand in hand, they hurried towards the back exit wherever exactly that was. At least Oliver seemed to know.

“My parents love you, you know?” he asked, whispering those words into her ear. “They are pushing for us to be together.”

“They think that I have a good influence on you.”

“You do,” Oliver agreed with a chuckle and kissed her temple, “because you chased away my bad mood. They wouldn’t have been able to stand it any longer.”

Felicity smiled at the way Oliver grinned amusedly and replied, “Well, in that case I will do my best to keep your mood at a high level.”

“You don’t have to do much to achieve that,” Oliver said and winked at her, “all you have to do is be there.”

Felicity felt her heart skipping a beat and smiled at his words. Whatever would happen tonight, she was sure that it would decide where their relationship would go. The thought made her stomach flutter as tingle spread all over her body.

Let’s see where this night would take them.

 * * *

 “There we are.”

“There we are,” Oliver agreed with a long sigh and pushed his hands into the pockets of his pants, “unfortunately.”

Felicity smiled softly, cocking her head. Oliver looked honestly sad about the fact that they had finally arrived at the door to her hotel room. He had done his best to prolong this night for as long as possible. He had even made the ten minutes it should have taken from Big Belly’s to the hotel take almost one hour because he had taken quite some detours. Now the soles of her feet were aching, but she didn’t mind.

The evening had indeed been great. For the first time, she had had Oliver all for herself. There hadn’t been any other people around them, and nobody had even called him on the phone. Even if someone had, they wouldn’t have heard it thanks to Oliver’s new phone. Hence, they had been able to have dinner, chat and walk home without any interruptions.

She was just as sorry as Oliver was that the evening was coming to an end, but she really couldn’t be on her feet for much longer. She was tired and exhausted. She just wanted to fall into bed.

“So…”

Oliver lifted his gaze, looking at her. He nodded his head slowly. “So…”

They looked at each other intensely. Neither of them really wanted to say goodbye just yet, but they had arrived at her hotel room, so there wasn’t anything else left to do other than saying goodbye. It was time.

“So…”

The third time that syllable was said, the corners of Oliver’s lips twitched into a smile. If they continued like that, they’d still be here tomorrow. The thought made Felicity chuckle and shake her head.

“Are we going to see each other tomorrow?” Oliver asked, pulling his hand out of the pocket of his jeans and lacing his fingers with hers. “Before you go back to Hub City?”

Felicity nodded her head. “Sounds good.”

“Lunch?”

“Sure.” Again, Felicity nodded and felt a tight knot forming in the pit of her stomach. “My flight leaves at five, so we shouldn’t eat too late, but yeah.”

With how far apart they lived, she and Oliver shouldn’t be dancing around each other like they did. Their past was complicated, and their future, if they had any at all, wasn’t going to be any easier either. Who knew when they had time to see each other again?

“I’ll pick you up at twelve.”

“Okay.” Felicity smiled. “Sounds good.”

Oliver nodded. “Okay.”

“Okay.”

Felicity guessed that okay was the new so. No matter what little word they continued to say just to prolong their time together, it didn’t help. At the end, they would have to say goodnight and goodbye.

“Goodnight, Oliver,” Felicity whispered as little as she wanted to say this, “sleep well.”

“You too.”

Oliver wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against his chest. Just like earlier this day in the show’s backstage area, his nose pressed to the crown of her head and he breathed her in. A moment later, his lips brushed against her hair. Some single hairs got caught in his stubble when he pulled away, but Felicity didn’t mind the slight twinge.

Lifting her gaze to say goodnight to Oliver once more, she realized how close he still was. His breath ghosted over her face. The tip of his nose almost brushed against her forehead when he took in a breath. His chest was still pressed to hers, so she could feel the rapid beat of his heart.

While Oliver angled his head and slowly leaned in, Felicity felt everything around them fading away. It was just Oliver and her, and this time nobody could change that by breaking through their little bubble. There was really just them.

Oliver’s lips were only a breath away from hers when he stopped moving. His eyes were locked with hers, his desire to kiss her visible there. Still, he didn’t close the distance, giving her the time to lean in or distance himself. She should make the final decision of what she wanted.

There wasn’t much of a decision to make though. Felicity knew what she wanted, and it was about time that she finally got it. She had waited three long years and two unbearable weeks.

Angling her head back a little, Felicity straightened up and brushed her lips against his. Their lips touched gently and carefully at first. It only took a brief moment until their lips pressed down a little more firmly into a real kiss. Finally!

Everything inside of Felicity was tingling from the touch of his lips and from the way his short stubble tickled the sensitive skin around her mouth. Oliver lifted a hand to her face, cupping her cheek. His thumb stroked along the line of her jaw while he was continuing to hold her so, so gently.

The kiss was perfect, even more perfect than every single kiss they had shared two weeks ago. This time, the kiss wasn’t filled with anger. It didn’t happen solely from a mixture of lust and bottled-up rage. It was a kiss full of softness, a kiss that came from deep in their hearts. It tasted like love.

Felicity didn’t know how much time had passed when their lips parted. They didn’t pull very far apart, just enough to look at each other. Oliver’s hand stayed at her cheek, holding her like she was a treasure he didn’t want to get hurt. His pupils were dilated, his lips spread into a soft smile of content and joy.

Smiling, Felicity leaned her forehead against Oliver’s. Her arms stayed wrapped around his chest. She used her hold on him to push herself as close to Oliver as possible. Although it wasn’t cold in the hallway, she was seeking the warmth of his body. It warmed her inside and outside.

“Goodnight, Felicity,” Oliver whispered eventually.

“Yeah,” Felicity took in a deep breath and angled her head back a little, “goodnight.”

Instead of moving apart, they only leaned in for another kiss. Their lips opened to each other, their tongues meeting in a slow dance. Oliver lifted his second hand to her face now too, holding her head between his palms.

“I should go,” Oliver whispered against her lips, “like right now.”

Felicity hummed in what sounded like agreement. Her hands moved to the front of his chest at the same time. Her fingers tightened around his leather jacket, pulling him even closer towards her. Her words and her actions just didn’t work together.

“Goodnight, Oliver,” she whispered her reply, “see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, tomorrow.”

The goodbye stayed in their words though as they continued kissing. Felicity really didn’t want Oliver to go, now even less than a couple of minutes ago. She wanted him to stay. She wanted to pretend that she could just hold him and never had to let him go again. Of course she knew that it wasn’t really possible with her job, her friends and her entire life really in Hub City, but at least she could pretend.

The last three years had been filled with so much sorrow and so much anger, they deserved to pretend that everything was going to be easy from here on. At least for one night, Felicity figured that they were allowed to. It was all she really wanted right now.

With that thought, Felicity reached into her purse and grabbed her key card. She knew that as long as Oliver’s lips were on hers, she would never have the focus to get that card into the little slit meant for it. So she stroked the card over the back of Oliver’s hand on her face. He got it immediately, grabbed it and unlocked the door within two seconds.

As soon as they had crossed the doorstep, Oliver kicked the door shut between them. The key card fell onto the floor with a low clattering sound. Felicity kicked her shoes away, sighing contently when the soles of her feet touched the floor. Oliver swallowed the sound eagerly, tightening his arms around her.

Felicity wanted to lead him towards the bedroom, unwilling to wait any longer to feel all of Oliver. She wanted him to be in her and all around her. She wanted to feel him and only him, nothing else. The little bubble that was around them already should grow even smaller, so there was nothing else to focus on than them.

When Felicity took the first step away, their lips parted though as Oliver just stood where he was. His hands were holding hers as they were standing the length of an arm away from each other. His smile was taking over his entire face as he was looking at her. He looked as happy as Felicity hadn’t seen him in a long time.

“What?” she asked, cocking her head, when he showed no sign of following her. “Are you playing hard-to-get? Or shy? I have to disappoint you, Oliver, that train had left the station a long time ago.”

“It did?” Oliver asked. “Really?”

“Yeah, kind of.”

Chuckling, Oliver pulled at her hand until she was back in his arms. His lips brushed against hers in a gentle and even playful kiss. As soon as Felicity straightened up to deepen the kiss and start another attempt of getting him into her bedroom – really, her thoughts made her feel like she was a femme fatal, trying to tempt her next victim into the darkness with her – Oliver broke the kiss once more.

Felicity grumbled unhappily. After all the time they had wasted hating each other, she didn’t want to wait any longer. They had lost so much time. They should try to catch up now.

With one look at Oliver’s face, Felicity felt her heart losing its rhythm. It was beating irregularly, stumbling in her chest helplessly. There was just something in Oliver’s eyes that told Felicity something big was coming. Oliver hadn’t stopped because he was playing around. He hadn’t even done it to heighten their desire for each other. He just needed to say something, and it was something meaningful, something that had to be said now. It had to get out of him, so he could breathe and it could breathe.

“Felicity,” he whispered her name like it was a prayer and lifted his hands back to cup her cheeks, looking at her as softly as he was holding her, “I love you.”

She shouldn’t be surprised. Deep down, she had known that Oliver still loved her. She had seen it in the way he had looked at her when they had had sex. She had felt it in his rage when he had freaked out the night of the rehearsal dinner. She had known it from everything he had done after that.

And still Felicity couldn’t help being surprised at hearing Oliver say those words out loud tonight. It just came unexpected because Oliver didn’t necessarily carry his heart on his tongue a lot of times. He was quiet and broody, especially when it came to his feelings. Big gestures and meaningful words just weren’t his. He showed his lips rather than saying it unless it was a quick Love you between two goodbye kisses.

“I love you, Felicity,” he repeated his words, “and I have always loved you and I probably will always love you. If the last three years didn’t do anything to change that, nothing ever will. For me, it’s going to be you no matter what.”

If her heart would beat any more quickly, Felicity was sure that it would just escape her chest. Her throat felt tight, and she was sure that no sound would come from it. With the way Oliver was looking at her, waiting for her to say something after this big declaration of love, she cleared her throat though.

“That’s intense.”

Her voice was lowered to a whisper that she could barely hear over the rushing of blood in her ears. If Oliver’s slightly amused smile was any indication, he hadn’t missed it.

“True,” he said with a sigh, looking at her gently, while his right hand was stroking over her cheek, “but I don’t want to lose time dangling maybes or something. I have gotten a second chance to show you how much I love you, so I will use it. I know there won’t be a third chance, so I have to make this work. I want to use this chance to its best.”

Felicity nodded her head. Wasn’t that exactly what had been on her mind before too? That they had to make up for the missed time by going all in from the start instead of waiting around for life to make things easier for them?

“I know you aren’t the same person you have been three years ago,” Oliver continued, “neither am I. We have to get to know each other again, but I just know that, whoever you are now or whoever you will become in the future, it will never change my feelings for you. I will always, always, always love you.”

The heaviness of his words got her. The repeated declaration of love crawled under her skin and spread in every cell of her body.

For a second, Felicity felt panic building at that feeling. She had sworn herself never to fall that deeply in love again. She had left like she had been burnt once and the pain of it had been with her for so long that it wasn’t worth it. No matter how happy love could make you, it wasn’t worth the pain that came when it was gone. It was too much for her to take once more.

Since she had never really fallen out of love with Oliver, it wasn’t like she had much of a choice here. Even if she didn’t want to fall in love again, it didn’t matter. She still was that deeply in love. And it would be worth it.

“I love you too.”

Felicity hadn’t realized how much Oliver had needed to hear her say those words. He released a strangled breath. His chest heaved and the tension she hadn’t noticed in his shoulders before seemed to ease.

He loved her. She had loved him. That easily, the world seemed to make sense again and everything inside of her seemed to have found its place again. She had fully found her place again because that little emptiness that not even Helix Dynamics could have filled was taken again.

Not breaking the lock of their eyes, Oliver stroked his hands down her body. His right arm wrapped around her back, while his left arm pushed beneath the back of her knees. He lifted her into his arms easily, holding her like she was as light as a feather. All the while, he just continued to look at her like she had just given him the most precious gift he had ever received.

Felicity lifted her hands to Oliver’s cheeks, holding his face the way he had held hers before. While her fingertips were stroking through his short stubble, Felicity watched Oliver’s in. She wanted to take him and memorize him in this moment that they had found their way back to each other. He looked so happy and so at ease. He looked like he had found his home, just like she had.

They leaned in at the same time. As their lips brushed together, Felicity stroked her fingers into the short hair at the nape of Oliver’s neck. She could feel goosebumps spreading on his skin, and she smiled into the kiss at that feeling. She loved knowing that she could do that to him with just as much as an innocent touch.

Oliver carried her into the bedroom. Thanks to the few doors there were, he didn’t have any trouble finding the bedroom. Even if he did, Felicity wouldn’t mind. It was a nice feeling to be carried by Oliver like this. She could easily get used to it.

In the bedroom, Oliver lowered Felicity to the floor right next to the bed. His arms stayed wrapped around her though, stopping her from distancing herself. It wasn’t like Felicity had had any intention to do so in the first place. The closer she was to Oliver, the better.

Scraping his teeth against her bottom lip, Oliver broke the kiss. He didn’t pull away. Instead, his lips peppered a trail of kisses from the corners of her lips to the soft spot right under her ear. His lips lingered there a little longer, almost turning Felicity’s legs into wobbly jelly. Her fingers tightened in his upper arms.

“Finally, I gotta do what I wanted to do a very long time.”

Oliver stroked his fingers up her back towards the topmost button, leaning back a little. His eyes locked with hers, and he smiled softly. One by one, he undid the buttons of her dress. His fingertips brushed against her soft skin, and Felicity was sure that his touch caused goosebumps to spread from the nape of her neck all the way down her back.

As soon as he had undone the last button, Oliver put his hands to the naked skin of her back. The warmth of his skin warmed her and relaxed the slight tension she always carried in her muscles. With a content sigh, she leaned all the way against Oliver. She angled her head back as far as he could, so she could look at Oliver’s face.

“You do know what you undressed me two weeks ago, right?” Felicity asked. “It’s not been that long.”

“But I didn’t take any of my designs off you.”

Felicity perked up her eyebrows. “My dress for the wedding?”

Oliver looked at her, unable to find something to say. He opened his lips, but he closed them again. He frowned for a moment before he chuckled. Although it was certainly mean to sound light, Felicity couldn’t help but think that it actually sounded a little sad.

“I didn’t realize that until now,” Oliver said, shaking his head, “I guess I was too focused on my anger and on beating myself up for being that weak that I couldn’t even resist you for 24 hours. I wasn’t able to focus on the fact that I was undressing you, never mind what I was taking off from you.”

The sadness Felicity had heard in Oliver’s chuckle was visible in his eyes too. Their past probably wasn’t going to leave them anytime soon. There was still a lot of regret there, no matter how much they told each other to leave their past behind themselves.

Felicity lifted her hand to Oliver’s heart and let her palm rest there. She could feel his heartbeat beneath her hand. It was beating slow but unevenly, just like hers.

Their lips met in another kiss. It was just as slow as their heartbeats, but it had more harmony. Their lips just moved in perfect synch. Their tongues danced in that slow and familiar way. Their bodies fit together like two pieces of the same puzzle.

Slowly, Felicity moved her hands to Oliver’s shoulders and pushed his leather jacket down his arms. Oliver unwrapped his arms from around her just long enough, so he could shake off the fabric. While it was dropping to the floor, Oliver’s arms already wrapped back around her waist. He leaned forward, angling her back, so she was almost lying in his arms. If he let go of her now, she’d lose all balance and fall to the floor.

Felicity had never really liked not to be in control of everything. She loved tech because she could control it. Letting herself fall and trusting someone to catch her was not something she did easily. With Oliver, it felt incredibly easy though. She’d let herself fall around him a thousand times. She knew he’d always be there to catch her.

Pushing her chest against his, she prompted Oliver to straighten back up. Once she was safe on her feet again, she grabbed the hem of his shirt and started tugging at it. Oliver got the hint and lifted his arms over his head. Since Felicity was too tiny, he helped her take that shirt off of him completely.

When Felicity’s body pressed against Oliver’s now, all the naked skin touching, she felt heat pooling in the pit of her stomach. She knew that it had only been two weeks since they had had sex before, but it was different now. Just like with their fist kiss tonight, the sex just wouldn’t be tainted by broken past. In the light of their I love yous, it was just something completely different. It was something much better.

While Oliver was slipping out of his shoes, Felicity unbuckled his belt and undid his pants. She pushed them down quickly and Oliver kicked the pant legs away one by one.

Oliver tightened his arms around her waist and turned them around, so his back was turned to the bed. He said down on the edge of the mattress, his lips parting from Felicity’s. Although the desiring expression in his eyes was something to get lost in, the only thing Felicity wanted more than to lose herself in Oliver’s eyes was losing herself in Oliver’s kisses and his touches.

She crawled onto his lap. While her arms wrapped around his neck, her hands stroking through his hair, her legs wrapped around his hips. That way, she opened herself to him. Her sensitive area rubbed right against his erection. He was already hard for her, ready to make her feel all the pleasures in the world.

Moaning against Oliver’s lips, she grinded herself against him. The feeling of his cock rubbing against her clit already felt so good. The bare thought of feeling him back inside of her now that there were no more real hurdles in their way, or at least none they wouldn’t do their best to get out of their way, made Felicity want Oliver all the more. The movements of her hips sped up in response.

Oliver moved his hands from her hips to her back and up her spine until he reached the clasp of her bra. With a simple movement of his fingers, he unclasped the lacy fabric and took it off her body. As soon as he had dropped the bra to the floor, his hands came to rest against her back. They covered it almost completely as her back was so much smaller than his hands were.

With a quick movement, Oliver turned them, pushing Felicity down into the mattress. His body covered hers. His naked torso rubbed against her nipples. Her open legs encompassed his hips perfectly, allowing himself to continue rubbing against her like she had done before. The firm strokes of Oliver’s hips heightened Felicity’s pleasure only more.

Oliver stroked his tongue against hers one last time before he broke the kiss. His lips never let her skin though. Instead, he brushed a couple of kisses against the line of her jaw before he kissed down the side of her neck. Kissing, licking and biting, he explored her body once more, taking so much more time than they had taken the two times they had had sex during her last stay in Starling.

Opening her eyes, Felicity stared at the ceiling. Although she could feel Oliver’s body on hers and she could feel his lips against her pulse point, sucking a hickey into her skin, it still felt incredibly unreal. It felt unreal that she was back here in Starling and that she was happy to be back here. It felt even more unreal that Oliver was in her bed, taking his time to explore her body before they would unite.

It felt unreal, but it was the best kind of unreal. It felt like she was caught in a dream that she really didn’t want to wake up from.

The feeling of Oliver’s tongue pushing into her belly button distracted her from her thoughts. She giggled, unable to hold back that girly sound. Her legs kicked around, trying to make Oliver stop. He leaned his stubbled chin against the inside of her thigh and smiled at her warmly. It made Felicity stop and just look back at him.

Everything about the way he looked at her relax Felicity and made her realize how happy she was to be here with him. As unreal as it felt, it was real. This was her dream come true, and she wanted to use every second of it. The thought made Felicity put her hand to Oliver’s cheek and stroke her fingers through his stubble.

Oliver continued to look at her for a moment longer. With his eyes still locked on hers, he brushed his lips against the inside of her thigh. His fingers hooked into the waistband of her panties, and he pulled them down her legs with one quick movement. Throwing the fabric somewhere behind him, Oliver made himself comfortable between her legs.

Felicity felt her breath getting caught in her throat at the way Oliver looked at her, his pupils dilated and an expression of pure desire taking over his face. Without any warning, he lowered his head between her legs and rubbed his tongue against her clit.

“Oh, god!”

Desperate to hold onto whatever self-control she had after all this time that nobody had done this for her, Felicity reached her hands over her head and held onto the headboard of the bed. Her back arched off the mattress. Her hips pressed closer to Oliver’s mouth, urging against his tongue that continued to make waves of warmth go through her body.

He licked a long stripe from her clit down to her opening. His tongue snuck between her folds and thrust right into her. Felicity gasped for breath, her back arching off the mattress even more. Oliver pushed her legs over his shoulders and pressed his forearm down in her hips, keeping her from moving. She was completely lost to whatever he did with her, but she didn’t want it any other way.

To say that Oliver was talented with his tongue was an underestimation to say the least. He teased her in the best way possible, rubbing the rough top of his tongue against her clit again and again. Within seconds Felicity felt like she had no more control on her body. Her head was turning from side to side in the pillow. Her fingers were tightened around the head of the bed so firmly that the knuckles had probably turned white. Long moans of pleasure were falling from her lips.

No man had ever made her feel the way Oliver made her feel in- and outside of bed.

When Oliver turned his attention back to her clit, Felicity felt her toes starting to tingle. She loosened a hand from the headboard, grabbing Oliver’s forearms over her hips instead. Her fingers dug into his skin, her nails scratching him lightly. It took a lot from her, but she opened her eyes, wanting Oliver to see how close she was.

As soon as their eyes locked and Felicity saw the desire in his eyes, saw how much he enjoyed eating her out, she felt the pleasure washing over her. Heat spread inside of her, making her feel like her body was set on fire. There was a small line between pleasure and pain, but the first outweighed the other at the end.

While her body spasmed from the pleasure that was rushing through her, Oliver continued to stroke his tongue against her clit slowly. He tried to tickle the last of her pleasure out of her, making her enjoy this for as long as possible.

Once Felicity had come down from her high, Felicity moved her fingers into his hair and tugged at some strands. Oliver got the hint immediately and moved up her body. Pressing his body to hers, his lips met hers in a searing kiss. They were even hungrier for each other now than they had been before.

Felicity pushed down Oliver’s boxer briefs. Her hands cupped the cheeks of his ass. Smiling against Oliver’s lips, she pinched his ass slightly. Oliver growled against her lips, causing his chest to vibrate against hers. Felicity deepened the kiss, pulling Oliver even more against him.

Oliver stroked his tongue against the roof of her mouth before he rolled off her. Sitting on the mattress next to her, he reached down to grab his jeans and started searching the pockets. Felicity watched him for a moment. Sucking her bottom lip between her front teeth, Felicity took a brief moment to consider her options.

Just when Oliver pulled a little foil package out of the pocket of his pants, Felicity climbed onto his lap, wrapping her legs around his hips. Her folds brushed right against Oliver’s erection. The sensation made both of them moan out loud. Oliver dropped his forehead against Felicity’s shoulder, pushing his nose against her skin and breathing her in.

They stayed like this for a long moment, not moving and just enjoying how close they were. They were taking their time, not hurrying through this like they had done two weeks ago. Tonight could be endless.

When Felicity reached out her hand and took hold of Oliver’s erection, his head snapped back. His eyes found hers immediately, locking with hers intensely. Felicity could almost see the thoughts processing in his eyes. They went from lust to understanding to surprise and finally determination. He knew what she was trying to ask without saying the words out loud, and he understood it very well.

The slight nod of Oliver’s head was all the assurance Felicity needed. She knew that he had been sleeping around these past years. He hadn’t lied about it or tried to hide it from her, not that it would have even possible with the attention his sex life got in the tabloids. Felicity also knew that Oliver wouldn’t lie to her about being healthy. He would never lie to her about anything.

Getting up onto her knees, Felicity positioned his cock at her entrance. She locked eyes with Oliver before sank down slowly, taking him all the way in. Her lips fell open in a soundless moan, while Oliver’s fingers dug into her hips.

Once he was all the way inside of her, stretching her inner walls perfectly while they were accommodating him tightly, they rested their foreheads against each other’s. Without moving their hips, they wrapped themselves in each other to get as close as possible. Felicity tightened her legs around Oliver’s hips, letting him sink in even deeper. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders, one of her hands brushing through his hair. Oliver’s arms wrapped around her back, his warm hands stroking up and down her spine.

If time froze and caught her in this moment forever, Felicity knew she’d be happy. This was perfectly perfect, everything she wanted and needed and more.

Locking eyes with each other once more, their hips started moving together. Felicity sank down on Oliver every time he was thrusting up. His cock moved in and out of her slowly, pushing against her inner walls and rubbing against that sensitive spot inside of her that increased her pleasure so very quickly. Every thrust made her heart beat a little higher.

Felicity didn’t want this to end too quickly though. They had rushed through their pleasure two times before. This time, she wanted to take every second and enjoy it. The more they could prolong this, the better.

Pulling at some strands of Oliver’s hair, she angled his head back and caught his lips with hers. Their lips and tongues moved together just as harmonically as their lips. Felicity tightened her hands around his hair, scratching the other all the way down Oliver’s back gently at the same time. Oliver moved his hands up her back to her shoulders and down against over her rib cage. His fingertips grazed her breasts.

It wasn’t long before the pleasure grew inside of Felicity so much that she couldn’t control it anymore. Her hips lost their rhythm, chasing their relief wildly instead of answering to the thrusts of Oliver’s hips. Hot heat was spreading inside of her, making it hard to breathe. She tried to tear her lips away from Oliver, needing more oxygen, but he put a hand to the back of her head, keeping her where she was.

One particularly had thrust of Oliver’s hips were enough to send her over the edge. She let herself fall, losing herself in Oliver completely. She felt as light as a feather, like a gust of wind could just take her away. She had her head in the clouds, all worries and problems forgotten. For now, the only thing that mattered was this moment right here.

The last tremors of pleasure were still running through her, her walls fluttering around Oliver’s cock, when Felicity noticed the slight sting in her shoulder. Oliver had rested his head there, his teeth buried in her flesh slightly. His hands were holding onto her hips tightly, He was holding onto a small thread of self-control, doing his best to stop himself from coming. Just like her, he didn’t want this to end too soon.

Felicity stroked her fingers through his hair soothingly, but she did her best to stay unmoving apart from that. She wanted to give him the time he needed until he was back in control.

It didn’t take long. Soon Oliver angled his head back to meet her eyes. There was amazement and desire spread there, mixing with his deep love for her. It made her heartbeat quicken and her a new wave of heat running through her.

Their lips met once more, moving together in a slow and gentle kiss. Oliver turned them around, making them both lie down on their sides. His legs were stretched out, and Felicity moved her hand down his strong calf before he wrapped her leg back around his hips.

They adapted another slow rhythm, moving together even more slowly than they had before. Their lips broke apart, so their eyes could lock. They looked at each other, sharing their love for each other just with the expression in their eyes. For Felicity, there was only Oliver. There was nothing and nobody else this was all there was, and it was all she wanted.

The new position didn’t make Oliver go particularly deep, but the changed angle allowed his cock to push against her inner walls even more firmly. She was holding him in a tight grip and he stretched her perfectly. Their arms were still holding onto each other tightly.

Felicity was so very sore from her first two orgasms that she could feel herself getting close to another wave of pleasure soon. She angled her head, bringing it even close to Oliver. Their noses were brushing together with every single one of their slow thrusts. She moved her hands to his cheeks, holding his face in her hands.

It was good that there were no words needed here because Felicity didn’t have any to say how happy she was that Oliver was back in her life. She had never felt as appreciated, as loved or as grounded as she felt during every second that they were together. Whether they were having dinner together or make love, he made her feel things that nobody else could make her feel.

“Oliver.”

His name escaping her lips in a feverish whisper. She knew that her next orgasm wasn’t far away, and she wanted to make sure that Oliver knew exactly how he made her feel. She wanted him to know that the waves of pleasure running through her were all on him and that he was everything she had on her mind and in her heart in this moment.

She could see in his eyes that he got it. He understood her even when she didn’t say a single word. And he felt exactly the same way.

When the pleasure washed over her this time, Oliver captured her lips in a long kiss. He swallowed the sounds of pleasure falling from her lips eagerly, wanting to feel everything he made her feel. It turned him on all the more.

Felicity was still caught in her pleasure when she felt Oliver’s hips stuttering. They lost its rhythm. Turning Felicity on her back, he thrust into her firmly just a couple of times more. Pushing himself onto his forearms, he opened his eyes and looked at her. His pupils were dilated, his lips opened in frantic panting.

Lifting a hand to Oliver’s cheek, Felicity stroked her fingertips through his stubble and whispered, “Cum for me.”

“God, Felicity.”

With one last stuttering movement, Oliver came. His cock jerked inside of her, spilling into her. Felicity was still aroused, and the feeling of having Oliver cum inside of her made another small orgasm run through her. Her legs tightened around his hips, preventing him from leaving her though she doubted that he’d try even if he could.

They continued to move together lazily while the last waves of pleasure were running through them. Their lips were moving together in slow, loving, teasing kisses. Felicity’s hands were roaming over Oliver’s back until he grabbed one of her hands, laced his fingers with her and rested them on the pillow next to her head.

Their lips broke apart when the need for air became too much to bear. Their eyes met, and their fingers tightened on each other.

Oliver’s eyes were intense, crawling under her skin like they always did. Felicity felt goosebumps spread all over her skin. A wave of warmth ran through her, making her feel content and at ease.

“I love you,” she whispered before he could say it, wanting to be the one to say it first this time, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

They both smiled at the words and their lips met in another kiss. Maybe not all problems have been solved yet. There was still a lot to discuss when it came to their future. None of that mattered tonight though.

Felicity turned Oliver onto his back. She covered his body with kisses, going from his lips to the side of his neck and eventually down his chest. Oliver played with some strands of her hair, enjoying the gentle caress. Felicity could almost feel him turning into putty beneath her. All tension left his muscles.

He knew as well as she did that tonight was all theirs and that was all that mattered.

* * *

* * *

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