#really hope i dont regret my choice

[aceofwhump]

I think I found me a laptop! I got paid yesterday, I've been doing a ton of looking, it's black friday weekend which means sales, and today I found one online that I like and I think will suit my needs. I know I won't love it as much as my last laptop (that baby lasted me 13 years. 13 years of loyal service.) but I think it'll be good. Tomorrow is cyber Monday so I'm gonna see if there's any deals on it and if yes then yay but either way I'm gonna buy it tomorrow cause the price is pretty decent either way! Ahh!! I hope I'm making the right pick. I've not gone laptop shopping since I bought my first laptop (did I mention 13 years with one laptop?). It's funny reading reviews for laptops now saying things like "it only has 16 gbs of RAM which isn't great" or "you get about 8 hours of charge off battery." When I've been living with a laptop that gets maybe 10 mins of charge off battery and has 4gbs of RAM 🤣 I think I'll be quite happy with 16gbs ram and 8 hours of charge! So funny. So hopefully by next I shall have a new laptop! Woohoo! Next step is to find a new 🏴‍☠️ version of Photoshop. And maybe word cause fuck if I'm paying for that.

[rosysins]

OOC.

in class right now and i haven't eaten anything yet all day and it's 14:00pm cause i was rushing this morning to not be late :''D

[fivefeetfangirl]

ouf the closer i get to moving the more i regret that decision

[imageingrunge]

after slumming it for so long I finally made it to Oxenfurt 

[theendofmybody]

i think its so unfair that good decisions can still feel really bad

[atsu-i]

The one thing I regret the most in my life it's trusting people I shouldn't have. I used to easily go and open up about myself and sharing stuff and all when I didn't even know if they were worthy of that trust. I the end I just ended up feeling like shit and wishing going back in time to stop myself from sharing my secrets and personal stuff with them. They made me regret being Bi and even made me feel I was a monster or something. In the end no one is there for you but yourself. That's a sad reality.

:0

[samara444]

dont let all your pain go to waste

our life is not set in stone, it has been hard till now, so so so fucking hard. it doesnt have to be hard from now on. you have spent years crying, wishing, waiting, wanting, losing. but you do have a choice, by changing your assumptions, your beliefs, our feelings, you really can switch to having, loving, smiling, laughing, living.

it is possible for you IF YOU BELIEVE it is possible for you. dont let your bruised knees, and swollen wet eyes go to waste. dont let the years of crying, wanting, feeling lack, years when you tried so hard, when you persisted and never gave up....dont let those years go to waste.

your future self will be so fucking proud that you never gave up. that you never lost hope. im literally crying while writing this, but every time things that get hard, i am just reminded of little me who had so many hopes and dreams and how its my duty to fulfill her dreams.

how i cannot let the pain of little teenage me who persisted everyday, despite the worst circumstances. who affirmed, who forced herself to believe, who tried her best at that time, i cant let her pain go to waste. I WONT.

im sure most of us have spent a long time in our misery. but it DOES NOT HAVE TO BE THAT WAY. we have changed. as long as we dont give up. as long as you dont give up. all those hours, all those tears will be worth it.

and one day we are going to open our eyes, to our dream life, that little us would be so proud of, and you will be so proud that day, that no matter what happened, you persisted. you didnt give in to the 3d. the 3d is just a mirror that has NO WILL OF ITS OWN. it hasss to conform.

so keep going. you are doing great honey. you already are there. the day when you get to be happy, has finally come now. relax. breathe in. hold. breathe out. everything is going to be okay. and we have made it. and everything worked out just the way it was supposed to.

we did it. no more pain. no more regrets. just happiness and light. love and sunshine. laughter and love. now YOU can thank your past self and tell her - thankyou baby for always believing <3

-love, sam :')

[guniniz]

⸻ falling asleep on facetime with zb1

# genre … fluffy scenario’s of how i think zb1 members would react to you falling asleep while on facetime, some are romantic relationships and some are just friendships !

# note … third and final part is out !! got to this earlier than i thought i would :)) definitely opening my request so feel free to leave anything in there. i hope you enjoy the last part of this sort of trilogy lol.

── 彡 [규빈] GYUVIN

you and gyuvin had been appointed as the organizers for your classes “cafe” for the school festival.

you loved to do this kind of stuff and had been very excited to be the head of the organization while gyuvin was the vice leader.

and while gyuvin was excited he was pretty sure the teacher only picked him cause he overheard him telling his friends that he had a crush on you earlier this week.

since no one else volunteered either he had no choice but to accept.

and while he regretted it in the beginning after some thinking (and a pep talk from his friends) he decided that this would be the perfect time to confess to you.

as you guys were working on brainstorming ideas, handing out roles to other classmates and setting everything up for the week leading up to the festival gyuvin’s pondering on what would be the best time and place to confess his feelings for you.

the day of the festival came however and both of you guys were so busy that he didnt even get a chance to pull you away for a bit to have a one on one conversation.

as the day ended all he could do was watch you walk home with your friends waving him goodbye as you left.

he felt his heart ache a bit as he realized he had missed his opportunity for the perfect confession.

with disappointment in his heart he headed home and went straight up to his room to let himself just fall onto his bed face first.

as he was wallowing in his self pitty he heard his phone ring. he slowly lifted himself up without much hurry as he thought it was yujin calling just to laugh at him.

his face quickly changed when he saw that it was your name who lit up his phone though. he softly slapped himself on the face a few times and cleared his throat before picking up your call

“oh hi y/n, why are you calling me this late, not that i mind of course but i was just wondering” gyuving quickly stopped talking as to not ramble on.

you were so tired from this long week and on the verge of falling asleep so you yawned quietly and said “oh i just wanted to thank you for helping me out this week, i know you had little choice since no one else wanted to but thank you nonetheless!”

“oh no worries y/n it really wasn’t a big deal i really liked it actually” gyuvin said trying not to stumble over his words

all of a sudden gyuvin got a little confidence boost and had decided to let you know that he liked you right this moment. as soon as he started though he lost what little confidence he had and kept beating around the bushes.

you didnt wanna interrupt him while talking and you tried your best to listen to him but in the end all the exhaustion from the week caught up to you and you fell asleep.

after a little bit of some more rambling and avoiding eye contact gyuvin finally got to the point “what i really wanna say is i like you y/n”

as he let out a breath of relief for finally being able to say it he was awaiting a response. though after a few seconds of waiting he still didnt get one.

“you know y/n you dont have to respond right now and if you dont like me that’s totally fine…” he kept going till he finally looked over to his phone to find out you had been asleep for who knows how long.

“damn it gyuvin you messed it up again” he said softly “i was supposed to confess to you today y/n i’d been thinking about the perfect timing all week and i missed both opportunities…” another heart ache hit him this one harder than the one at school.

he hung up the call and after a bit more self pity he decided to just blurt it out the next time he manages to get you two alone. he would not mess up another chance, third time is the charm.

── 彡 [건욱] GUNWOOK

whenever gunwook and you got back home from a date you guys liked to “continue” your date and facetime each other after while winding down and getting ready for bed.

today was no different and as soon as you texted him that you got home safe your phone started ringing.

you picked up and were met with a very close up shot of your boyfriends face which made you laugh.

he smiled back at you as he started taking off his shoes and coat since he only just got in as well but couldn’t wait a second more before calling you.

as you did the same you could see he was walking further inti the apartment before letting out a sigh.

you asked him what’s wrong and he said he forgot to do the dishes as it was his turn today.

he giggled at him and told him to get to it to which he asked (begged) if you could come over and help him with it.

“it’ll take like 30 minutes for me to get there you could be done by that time wookie” you said to him with a laugh as he was pouting at you.

thats how you ended up doing your skincare while watching your boyfriend do the dishes for him and his roommates.

the 30 minutes passed and he was indeed done in the time you said it would take. you let out an “i told you so” as your boyfriend sarcastically huffed and puffed about you being right once again.

as you got done with your skincare gunwook had only just started so you decided to get into bed and set your phone up on your nightstand so you coukd still watch him while laying down and relaxing from your long day together.

he made you laugh as he was playing with the foam from his cleanser making all sorts of silly faces and while he was very cute and highly entertaining you could feel your eyes becoming heavier.

as he was rinsing and drying his face you tried your best to not succumb to your tiredness.

even though you tried your best the last thing you remember is gunwook getting to the last step of his skincare.

gunwook had noticed you were getting tired and decided to mute himself for the remainder of his nightly routine.

he really didn’t mind you falling asleep as this was one of the times of the day where he thought you looked the cutest.

eventually he finished doing everything he needed to and got into bed as well setting up his phone the same way you had.

as he planted a small kiss on his phone and whispered an i love you he thought it would be fun to have a “sleepover” so he didnt end the call before laying down and falling asleep either.

miraculously both of your phone batteries survived (barely) the night and you found out you guys had slept through the night on facetime together.

when you realized he was still sleeping you silently hung up the call as your phone was about to die and texted him a good morning and an i love you as you knew he had probably done the same to you last night.

── 彡 [유진] YUJIN

you and yujin became friends the first year of high school as you guys got sat next to each other.

the next year you guys grew closer and now in your third year you couldn’t imagine not being friends with him.

your teacher assigned the class a duo group project and you immediately asked yujin to group up together.

he agreed and you guys ended up having to work on the project together.

because the project wasn’t necessarily hard you guys thought you’d have way more than enough time to finish it before the 4 week deadline.

you guys ended up procrastinating (and lowkey forgot about it) so when the both of you realized the due date was tomorrow you quickly scrambled together and decided to work on it until it was done.

you guys met up at a cafe and started working on the project, and while it wasn’t hard it was surprisingly a lot of work since its required a lot of steps and you had to document all the work you did behind the scenes as well as citing all your sources.

the both of you got to work and eventually lost track of time and only realized it had gotten dark outside when you got kicked out of the cafe as they were about to close.

the project wasn’t done yet and you both agreed to pull an all nighter to finish it.

you got home and immediately called yujin to continue working.

he picked up your call with a groan as he jokingly mimicked slamming his head onto his desk. “y/n can’t we just ask for an extension i’m too tired”

“you know how the teacher is with extensions, plus we had 4 weeks… i doubt he’s gonna believe us even if we tell him our best lie” you said.

he sighed, agreed and started his laptop back up to continue working.

as you guys were both working in the same document you could see what he was up to and when you noticed he hadn’t typed anything in a while you looked over at your phone to find him almost falling asleep.

“yujin wake up man, dont make me do this by myself” you said slightly raising your voice.

he shot straight up as he tried to deny the fact that he fell asleep. you shot him some daggers with your eyes as the both of you got back to work.

you were almost done when you noticed a bunch of random letters appearing in yujin’s section and when you looked back at your phone again you saw that he had fallen asleep again and face planted onto his keyboard.

you quickly kicked him out of the document so he didn’t ruin any more of the text as you silently laughed at the sight.

you hung up the call and finished the rest of the project by yourself but not before sending yujin a “threat” that if he didn’t buy you lunch next time you guys went out that you would convince the teacher that you did all the work and to give him a bad grade. (you would never of course but it scared yujin enough to bring you a croissant paired with a sheepish apology the next morning)

— pt.1 | pt.2 | pt.3

[08melancholie]

Lessen your Stress. — Dutch Van der Linde/Micah Bell/Reader

tags: Post-Chapter 6: Beaver Hollow (Red Dead Redemption 2), Smut, Shameless Smut, Porn, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Threesome, Threesome - F/M/M, Sex, Spoilers, dont read if you havent finished chapter 6, theres spoilers to it that youll regret, Rough Sex, Vaginal Sex, Oral Sex, Penis In Vagina Sex, Anal Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Orgasm, Multiple Orgasms, Mildly Dubious Consent, Abuse of Authority, Authority Figures, Double Penetration, Double Penetration in Two Holes, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Spit as Lube, Lube, Come as Lube, precum still counts i hope, Not Beta Read, no beta we die like micah bell

summary: What's one way to relieve the stress of losing your family, friends and entire gang you spent decades building? Dutch assumes it's getting his best friend to fuck his other still-devoted follower with him. It's another power trip of his you will never refuse.

a/n: initially the idea was reader and micah both trying to fight over dutch but then i was like why do we have to fightttt just let them both ruin users guts..... so here we are now. disclaimer: ive literally never written a threesome, i dont know what im doing honestly.... thank you to that one user on here who inspired this.

this is my longest fic up to date... yeah okay lets go touch grass.

words: 5,043 | AO3 LINK

A heap of shouting, spilling of secrets and killing later, the three of you regroup, all alone. Death is haunting you; you almost feel their blood on your hands, for some reason. You can't pinpoint why, but you feel guilty. Might be the fact you're still following Dutch, after he got them all killed.

Dutch might have officially lost his mind, right? You sometimes really wonder how he's made it this far, with such a good gang. Well, until now anyways. It's not until now that you notice a small flip in his head; a switch turning on for the first time. He's sat across from you, only a small fire between yourselves that lights up a small fraction of the area around you; up on a mountain, a small indent into the rocks it's built of serving as a cave of sorts. You're on the other side of the fire, laying down and watching Dutch really think for the first time, in a while. Your head is supported with the satchel you carry around your torso, visibly more uncomfortable than the plush pillows inside your old tent, now left behind. Sat behind you both is none other than Micah; staying forever loyal to the black-haired man lost in his own thoughts, his own pondering whilst his eyes illuminate the fire between your bodies. Micah is quiet; in fact, everyone is. Nobody dares say a word—not you, not Micah, especially not Dutch. Dutch doesn't feel grief, oh no; that isn't what this can be. You'd think that leaving two of your sons to die even after having the choice to save them both would make a man go crazy, but Dutch is clearly too far gone for that.

The fire crackles again, and you can't stand the silence any longer, opening your mouth to speak up. "We'll be fine, Dutch. Don't stress so much."

His head perks up from the fire, the flame-ridden irises of his catch your own. "Fine?" He repeats after your reassurance—not sounding all that reassured. You swallow and nod, always feeling so small under that dark gaze of his. "I would love to have even an ounce of your optimism." He barks, and you sink even lower. Well, it was a good try, if nothing.

He and Micah share a look, and it all goes quiet again. Fire crackles; animals howl in the distance; shrubbery whistles under the small wind blowing through the area. And all is quiet.

It seems as you'll be spending the rest of the night in here, so you decide to rest your exhausted body for today. You toss over and get as comfortably as one can, making an attempt at sleeping off the sour mood and thick tension in the air.

Your slumber only lasts you a few mere hours, both the very early morning sun picking at your eyes and gloved hands on your bare skin breaking you away from the little sleep you managed yourself. You grumble, turning to lay on your back. "Get'cho ass up," Micah, standing over you, takes a step back and moves his hands off you, the leather material slipping away from your waist. You sit up and rub your knuckles into your eyes, taking your satchel from underneath where your head was and standing up. "hoping you enjoyed Colter, darlin'." Oh, Colter; if hell was an icy, snowy blizzard, you'd assume they were talking about that part of West Grizzlies.

"Don't tell me we're going back." You hold off on groaning—only briefly as Micah nods and you can't help yourself, not at all fond of going back there again. "Why West Grizzlies, anyways?" You ask, watching him kick at the burnt-out campfire from last night.

Micah stomps out the ashy, black logs, turning back over to you with a shrug. "Dutch says so." Of course he does.

You hold back on rolling your eyes. "He at least in a better mood than yesterday?" You ask, very much still remembering his bite back to your simple attempt at making the situation you three were currently in a little more bearable. Micah starts walking off while talking to you, and you follow close behind, leaving the makeshift cave.

"Wouldn't put ma' money on it," He responds, voice getting quieter the closer he leads you towards Dutch—smoking a cigar, per the usual—and your three horses. "don't test yer luck, hm?" He gives a low chuckle, and you just sigh. Snow; low temperatures; blizzards; all things you wanted to leave and forget in Colter. But, here you were.

Dutch gives an acknowledging nod to both of you, which you swiftly return. "We ready to go, then?" Micah gives him another nod, and walks up to Baylock. You follow to your own horse, petting it briefly before getting up onto the saddle, mounting up as the two of them soon do the same.

The three of you start the long journey back up towards the mountains; almost feeling that familiar deja-vu-feeling kicking in.

The ride is long and definitely not friendly; the moment your horses get you to the snow, the wind picks up and so does the snow, plowing down on all six of you. It's almost unbearably annoying, having to ride with one hand on your reins and one covering the top of your eyebrows to block out the snow from your vision. It's only a long while later that the three of you get up on the snow-covered mountain of your liking, finding an abandoned area with a cabin, definitely big enough for the three of you, for now.

The three of you hitch your horses safely into a small stable-like area, making sure they wouldn't be cold in their spots. Afterwards, one after another, you enter the cabin and inspect it; it's a medium-sized hut-type room, a few cots still stable enough to sleep in and a kitchen on the other side, most cabinets left open and empty. Mere minutes of searching left you with a few cans of fruit and vegetables, but between you three, hunting will definitely be a must for nourishment. At least theres a run-down fireplace you can use to warm up your shivering bodies. Dutch sends Micah to get firewood, instructing you to work with him and make the place look a bit less messy. And, three of you get to work.

It isn't exactly homey, but it'll do. Can't be picky now, can you? You had a home, and it was Dutch's own fault everything at 'home' went to shit.

It's been about a week since, and you've gotten used to the spot you three settled into, you could even start calling it home. Well, no—nothing will ever replace the home that the gang provided, but that's something you'll have to simply cope with. You're still following Dutch, so really, do you miss them that much? Your trail of thought is broken up by the sound of the creaky cabin door opening, raising the volume of the small blizzard going on outside briefly.

Dutch and Micah enter after another, closing the door of the small cabin and blocking out the sound of wind outside. Your head perks up from the small book you were examining at the sound, and you nod in greeting. "Hey," Your gaze goes back to the book until Dutch clicks his tongue at you.

"Eyes up here."

You don't take even a second to comply, meeting his eyes but occasionally drifting them to Micah. You're slightly confused, they're acting odd. "You need something, Dutch?"

"Stand up."

Every command sends a small shiver to your spine, that much is sure. You place the book down and rise from your seat on the creaky cot, taking a step towards them to stand before the two men. Your compliance and submissiveness always sends one side of Dutch's mouth up slightly. "Got a.. proposition for you. Well... Not exactly, anyways." Micah matches Dutch's dark chuckle after the leader speaks up again, both looking down at you. "Listen now, it's been pretty cold, hasn't it, my dear?" As Dutch speaks to you, your eyes stay glued on him; but you can see Micah taking slow steps away from the leader, and around you. You focus on Dutch again, nodding. "That's what we thought. You see," He then takes a step closer to you, gloved hands clasping together in front of you. "we can keep ourselves warm without wasting so much firewood." At Dutch's words, you can definitely feel Micah so much closer to you, from behind your back. You're starting to feel something bubble in your abdomen; was it nervousness, anxiety? Lust, arousal? You couldn't exactly tell.

"Tell me, my dear," Another two steps; one in front of you, one behind you. You feel like you're being circled by sharks in an ocean, hunters on prey, making you feel small again. "you're a smart girl; you do know what I mean, don't you?" Oh, you do. You know it all too well as you've imagined it one too many times—late at night in your tent, your hands on yourself underneath the blanket, muffling the moans of their names into your palm—so it's not an unfamiliar feeling. Your words seem to only fail you further the more he speaks, so you just nod again. His moustache follows the curve of his lips when that devilish smirk arises again. "Thought so. Now..."

His gloves glide over your shoulders, leather on leather as he stands right in front of you now. "And surely, you wouldn't mind trying this new warm-up with us, would you?"

Like a cat playing with a mouse it's caught, toying with it until it breaks. Except, it's two big cats and one meek little mouse. A hot breath glides down to you, right over your shoulder when Micah draws himself closer, and you feel stuck in your spot between them—even more so when Micah places his gloved hands down to your sides, almost kneading at your waist. Now, how could you ever say no? It's Dutch Van der Linde and Micah Bell. For one, you've been imagining this scenario in the comfort of your tent, late into the many nights that turned very hot, very quickly. But also, do you really have a choice? Your boss; your leader, asking such a vulgar and intimate thing of you? What would he say if you refused? Would he let you refuse? Is this all another power-trip he'll hold over your head?

No time for questions when Micah squeezes your waist to bring you back to reality. "He asked 'ya a question, doll." He purrs—its low and sultry, right next to your ear, accompanied by another knead to your body. You feel almost lightheaded by your current situation. Your hands have been unconsciously balled-up, digging into your trousers in an attempt to ground yourself. "C'mon, answer the man." And all you can manage is a nod, again. A moan would probably leave your mouth if you opened it, which.. would also be an answer. Your nod was really all it took, a silent consent more than enough for Micah's hands to travel to your hips and for Dutch's to find the sides of your neck.

"Good girl, always listening to me like this. I know you wouldn't disobey."

The feeling is indescribable, really—Micah touches you with urgency and carelessness, almost selfishly and greedily; his hands map out the contour of your body, almost as if trying to mould your curves to his liking. Dutch, however, takes it hellishly slow; thumbs brush over the front of your neck while the tips of his other fingers dig into the sides, almost as if trying to coax you to relax into whatever they have planned for you. "Oh, she's good, boss." Whenever Micah speaks, it ends up right next to your ear, and you feel that familiar shiver down your spine. An agreeing chuckle leaves Dutch's mouth, which is very close to your face; your own lips. You're clueless as to what you have to do—should you stay stiff? Touch one of them? Say anything at all to their comments and wandering touches?

Dutch's slow pace slips up when he can't hold himself back from giving himself a taste of yourself, dipping his head down to latch onto your lips. It's nice and quick, and your hands find themselves creeping up his coat and resting on his shoulders, whereas his move under your jacket and place themselves on your ribs and under your chest. Micah is pressed right up to your back now, one hand leaves your hip to move your hair away from your neck, sliding your jacket collar down as he starts to pepper the side of your neck in kisses, occasionally sucking on the skin while pressing his hips to your backside—you can already feel him through both of your clothes. Dutch takes a moment to lick your lip, coaxing you to open your mouth up for him. You comply and your lips part an opening for Dutch's tongue, hands squeezing at his shoulders.

His tongue explores around your mouth with profound efficiency; with experience. It makes the feeling in your abdomen all the more prominent, and you slowly feel a heat rushing to it. Micah isn't any worse either, the mixture of his gentle kisses, rough sucks and sometimes licks up your neck all make you more worked up than you'd ever want to imagine. He's still pressed up to your rear, hands at the very top of your outer thighs, roughly handling you like previously. Then, Dutch starts unbuttoning your jacket. Slowly, each one gets undone, and your jackets pools between yours and Micah's boots, who carefully kicks it aside, just to continue marking up your neck. His stubble and beard occasionally brushes against your sensitive neck, making you let out little sounds into Dutch's mouth. Oh, how they're enjoying this.

Dutch momentarily breaks away from you, leaving you to finally breathe in. "You know, I always liked how you followed me so blindly," Dutch's hands move up and brush over your chest, then cup both of the muscles. "it was so damn hard to not take you right then and there, in camp." You gasp and sigh when his hands start massaging and fondling you. This much foreplay has never gotten you so worked up in your life, and you can definitely feel the dampness between your legs growing with each moment. Then, Micah's hands move. They're getting impatient, seen so by the man behind you who starts groping your rear, breathing oh-so-sweetly down your neck. "I'mma have my fun with'chu, sweet thin'." His hums have goosebumps running up your body. His hands squeeze your ass a final time before moving, sliding down onto your inner thighs. You almost think that he can tell how wet you are, from the low laugh he lets out into your neck.

Impatience really overtakes both of them when they break away and start stripping. Coats, vests, undershirts, trousers; all the many layers you need to survive the coldness of West Grizzlies. Once they're almost bare, left in their underpants, they walk to one of the cots and coax you to follow, taking a seat next to each other and gesturing for you to stand in front of them. "Your turn, my dear." Dutch commands, leaning back slightly.

"Make sure to give us a good show, darlin'." Micah adds, following Dutch and also leaning back. And a good show, they shall receive. You start with your undershirt, slowly and almost teasingly unbuttoning it, exposing yourself inch by inch, moment by moment. "Oh, she's good." Micah purrs to Dutch, looking at you intently and never breaking his eyes away from your body. Dutch gives an agreeing hum, nodding to the other mans' words as you move to your jeans, shrugging your undershirt off while undoing the restraints of your jeans. You slip them off and toss both clothing articles to your jacket, standing in only your garments, now only covering your chest and mound. Their eyes are still so predatory, it's almost killing you. Then, finally, Dutch gestures with his hand for you to move closer, and you step up right in front of them. They part slightly to the side, and Micah pats the space between them on the bed. You understand instantly and comply just as quickly, sitting between them now. "Attagirl... how'd 'ya train 'er to listen so well, boss?"

Neither of them say more, as Micah leans in to get his lips onto yours himself now, kissing you with speed and want; need. Dutch's hands go to your back, fiddling with your bra to get it off of you. Oh, but the best part is Micah's hands; one reaches down between your legs instantly, swiping across your slit over your undergarments. "Oh shit, 'yer this damn wet already?" Both men laugh in sync, dark and low chuckles filling the cabin. His fingers find your clit under the fabric and start rubbing, coaxing you to moan into his mouth which you do. He loves how your meek little gasps and whimpers echo down his throat, and he rubs faster. The other hand of his tangles itself in your hair, pulling you closer to deepen the kiss. Dutch finally undoes your bra clasps, working it off of you without disturbing Micah and his workings on you. Your bra is tossed elsewhere, and one of Dutch's hands instantly finds your chest, fondling one while latching his mouth onto the other. Your hands grip one shoulder of theirs each, nails digging into the skin as your moans vibrate into Micahs mouth, hips already twitching into his two fingers working your bundle of nerves perfectly. Micah only breaks himself off your lips for a brief moment, "Can't wait to see this pretty cunt stretch around me." his mouth is back on yours, and the sentence alone has you grinding into his two fingers. Where's your dignity now?

Dutch's lips kiss around your nipple, teeth graze and pull oh-so-perfectly, and you already feel like you're close. They handle you with very different paces and things in mind; Micah is clearly trying to humiliate, get you to cum for him as quick as he can to give his ego a boost. Dutch however, he's now teasing; torturously slow pace on both of your tits, yet it works you up just as well as Micah's finger and mouth. And both are equally as blissful.

"Think she's ready for us?" Micah slows his fingers down and moves away from your lips to Dutch's question.

"Oh, surely, see how she's try'na fuck herself on my fingers? Poor, little thing. Bet she wants more."

"Well," Dutch leans away from your chest, standing to get his undergarments off. It's not long before Micah follows, and you can barely look at them; nude as the days they were born, with two almost equally as big cocks twitching for you, some precum at both their tips. It's a sight. "reckon she knows what she has to do—" He turns from Micah to yourself. "—doesn't she?" You swallow. Call it practice for what's to come, literally.

You shuffle off of the bed, and your knees meet the wood floors. Their grins down at you leave your panties practically leaking your own arousal. Looking between them, unsure where to start, you choose the leader—obviously. You get on-level with his hips, placing your hands on his thighs. "Oh, now don't leave my partner out, my dear." Dutch takes one of your hands by the wrist, guiding it to Micah's lower abdomen. "Show us both some love, baby." You can barely breathe at this point, and your hands might even be trembling slightly. Now, you've given maybe one blowjob/handjob in your life; but both, at the same time? This is overwhelming. Nonetheless, can't disappoint your boss, now can you? You push your thoughts down and slide your hand around Micah's shaft, running your thumb over his precum-covered tip to slicken it slightly, while simultaneously licking a stripe up the underside of Dutch's cock, collecting the leaky substance for a taste. Their faces are full of arousal and pure bliss, they almost make you feel proud. Dutch raises a hand to run through your hair, tugging on it. "We're old, impatient men, my darlin'. Get to it."

You take half of Dutch in your mouth, and start pumping your hand up and down Micah, earning a few praising groans and another tug to your hair, trying to draw you closer. You take Dutch until he hits the back of your mouth, and you barely suppress gagging on him. Don't need to inflate his ego that much. You move and bob your head, saliva slickening Dutch's dick up and painting your lips, some gathering at the corners of your mouth. Your hand works Micah in a slightly faster pace, seeing as it's easier to pump your hand over his shaft than take one in your mouth—especially one Dutch's size. You're used to average men, so this might as well even be nice. Not so much when he'll be stretching you open, but we'll get to that problem later. You continue your demonstrations, getting both of them to groan and even chuckle sometimes, looking down at you. They always looked down at you, you knew so much—but only ever figuratively. Never literally.

It's not long before Dutch grabs your head and just fucks himself into your mouth at his pace, which makes it easier to focus on your hand that's working Micah. You increase the pace of your hand, occasionally teasing the tip to see it twitch before continuing. "Wouldn't be surprised if you was a whore before 'ya joined us, so good at this." Micah's comment should make you mad, but you're definitely more turned on than anything. "Keep working dem pretty fingers around me, 'm close." And you absolutely will.

Dutch, however, doesn't give you a warning like Micah; he suddenly cums down your throat with a groan, and you have to focus on not gagging all over his dick as it empties itself out into your mouth, and you swallow every drop like if it were holy water. Unfortunately, you're not given a breather when he withdraws his hips from your mouth, as Micah pulls your hand away from his cock and brings your closer to it, grasping your jaw and squeezing so that your lips part. "Open." You don't feel like being painted all over with his cum, so you comply instantly, and he jerks himself a few times before spilling into your mouth like Dutch, your hands finding his thighs to brace yourself.

"Damn, she's good." Dutch seats himself back on the cot with a small creak, palming himself—somehow still semi-hard. Micah lets go of your jaw after he's spent, and you can't stop yourself from coughing as you swallow practically every drop, only a few around your mouth still. Micah chuckles down at you before grabbing you by the sides, his hands grasping your waist as he brings you back to your feet. "Come on then, you ain't done yet, or are 'ya, babydoll?" You're guided over to Dutch, turned to face him as both men help position you over him to straddle the leader. Micah's hands are replaced by Dutch's ones, who immediately moves your panties off and guides your folds around his shaft to slicken himself up again. "Still practically dripping. Oh, you poor thing. We won't be selfish no longer, my dear, you shall get your own, too." His tip slides to your entrance, and you have to grasp his shoulders to keep yourself steady, your lips slightly parted in pleasure. Slowly, Dutch's tip presses into you, and you squeak out a moan as you feel that small stretch you were dreading. "I'll go slow, don't wanna split our new toy in half, do we darling?" Well, that's exactly how you're feeling, oddly enough.

You're gasping and moaning as every inch of his disappears into your slick walls, the lewd noises mixing with Dutch's small praise and breathy exhales as you sink down on his cock, feeling it twitch inside you a few times. "Good girl, taking all of me like that." He gives you a moment to adjust before lifting your hips up and slamming right back down, earning a strained moan out of you, nail indents marking his shoulders up as they dig into the flesh, which just makes him laugh. "Love how tight you are, like it's sucking me right in. Your cunt loves me stretching you out, huh." His hips slowly begin to slap against you, filling the cabin with the suggestive noises of skin-on-skin and moans.

As you finally get used to his size, you feel hands on your waist from behind. You almost forgot Micah was there, seeing how quiet he was being. Then, one hand trails down to your rear, and a thumb circles your anus. "Can't leave me out again, can 'ya?" His thumb slowly draws itself into you, and you have to bite down on Dutch's shoulder. Jesus, you did not expect them to try and fuck you at the exact same time, even less from behind. He briefly extracts his thumb to spit at your entrance, circle it and then stick it right back in, trying to loosen your muscles up for his—much fucking bigger, may you add—member. They find a similar pace, Dutch is rutting you down onto his dick while Micah's thumb stretches your other hole out, readying it for his cock which is already leaking in anticipation. You brace yourself when he moves his thumb out and spits again, this time on his own cock to moisten it up again, mixing the saliva with his precum. Then, his tip slaps against your ass a few times, before it slides to your opening. Dutch has slowed his thrusts down to let Micah get in as well, and you haven't stopped biting at his shoulder since you started, almost drooling around it. Even if it's only the tip, as soon as Micah eases it in, you shudder and gasp into Dutch's flesh, biting down harder as your asshole feels every little stretch it's getting from Micah's thick cock. Thankfully, it's sliding in somewhat-easily after a few moments, Dutch's hands squeezing your hips as he shushes you to relax you, and Micah's caressing your backside as he slowly sinks into you.

The first thrust is the worst, obviously. You almost immediately shiver when Micah slowly slips out of you, to the tip, before drawing his hips right against your ass again. Dutch coos into your ear to keep you collected as Micah gets you used to his size, kissing your slightly sweaty spine briefly. "Come on, 'ya can take me, girlie." He sinks his whole length into you, almost as breathless as you. Then, they slowly find a synced pace and fuck into you from both holes as you gasp against Dutch's shoulder and shudder into him. "We'll let'cha cum too, don't worry doll." Micah slides a hand over to your abdomen, and his thumb circles your clit once more. You're on cloud nine—hell, you've never been high, but it's probably similar to this feeling. Your holes are tight around their cocks, all three now audibly gasping and moaning in sync. It's possibly the lewdest trio you've ever heard. With how they're thrusting into you, you're reduced to a goddamn mess; gasping, moaning their names, your cunt and anus tightening and squeezing, your mouth open and tongue slightly sticking out—you look like a dog, almost. Their bitch, that's for sure. From now on, anyways. You don't see how this could ever be a one-time-thing.

You can feel your orgasm building again, and you've honestly been doing pretty well, all things considered. "Can't cum in that pretty cunt, but I can back here." Micah's comment runs goosebumps over your body, and you already dread the feeling of that. His breath brushes over your skin as he kisses up your back again, reaching the nape of your neck and grazing his teeth over it, all while his hips slam into your ass. Dutch is stroking your sides, his cock twitching even more inside you. He's close—Micah's close—you're close—you might all just come at the same time.

That's exactly how it goes down. You're first to hit your orgasm, one that causes you to squeeze around their cocks once more, which is enough for both of them to hit their peaks with you, Micah staying buried deep in your guts while Dutch pulls out and jerks himself dry over your mound and his stomach, gasping for air in sync with you. Micah draws his spent member out of your asshole slowly, some of his cum leaking out and down your thigh. He takes a breather on your back and hugs around your waist, heaving into your spine. Your body relaxes over Dutch's, who can barely hold all three of you up. It takes all three of you a moment of no movement to calm down from your highs, before Micah is first to move off your back and help you off Dutch, slowly seating you next to him. "Well, goddamn, princess. Dutch was right; 'ya didn't disappoint for even a moment." He hums, getting to the nightstand and tossing a rag over your stomach. He shuts the drawer and sits down next to you, cleaning Dutch's spent off of your stomach while you gather your thoughts, before wiping his shaft and tossing it over to Dutch.

"I'm sure you know we aren't leaving you be after that performance, my dear." Dutch adds as he wipes him self clean, and you just wordlessly nod, laying back slightly. "I guessed so." He chuckles, and Micah chimes in with his own breathy laugh, standing to walk over and grab everyone's clothes, giving them out to you and Dutch before starting to get dressed himself.

And you're damn sure you won't want to stop anytime soon either.

Kudos on AO3 appreciated, as always! This fic killed me omg its my longest one up to date and its got me in a chokehold. fuck i wanna be between them so bad.

[heartnanase]

scaramouche

i dont know what this is but my love life has been cooking recently so i decided to write again after months (i’ve been left on delivered for 16 minutes so you guys get angst)

“look seriously? don’t be like that— hey! wait! it wasn’t my choice! the fatui? i wanted you to be safe!”

“im getting married. deal with it.” you said while quickly walking, holding onto the sides of your heavy wedding dress, not even 3 minutes into putting on your outfit and you already regret wearing heels. “who? tartaglia huh?” he looked like a fool, you assumed he did at least. getting the courage to look at him was difficult. “it’s ajax.” you coldly say. you could picture his eye roll in your head as he mumbles a “whatever.” all you could do was watch his shadow in the corner of your eye trying to match your pace, while he reached to grab your hand. you angrily turn to him. “no! no just go! its been five years and now i’m just supposed to believe that you suddenly want me again?” all he can do is stare at your teary eyes, he chuckles. scaramouche isn’t making fun of you, but he thinks it’s cute when you’re upset. it’s weird, you had no clue why you were crying. was it cause the way he trims his hair now is different? was it cause his voice has changed, it sounds restless; was it cause it’s been so long? or was it because your heart still beats the same for him as it once did years ago. it didn’t matter how you felt anymore, you had a husband. well you will have a husband. so—

“listen okay? i just needed you to be safe” he cuts off your thoughts. scaramouche is nervous, he thinks he’s hiding it well with his smirk but he’s really not. you watch as he awkwardly try and fix his posture and grins at you, shoving his hands in his pocket hoping you didn’t notice his shaky fingers. you couldn’t stay here with him much longer, ajax would be furious. it’s not like you loved ajax, nor did he love you. it was a mutual agreement that your marriage would be perfect considering you and ajax both came from respectable families. however your dad always hated scaramouche, and you wish you listened to your father about how boys like him are pieces of shit. “you don’t get to decide that!”

scaramouche scoffs, “so what? what would that make me if i was the reason you died?” you slowly gulped as you both stood in science. he sighs and continues, “look i love you okay i still do and being away from you was one of the hardest things i’ve done!” you kinda always hoped the break up hurt scaramouche, even if it was just a little bit. you hoped that seeing you with someone else makes him bite his inner cheek. so it makes you feel better about drawing doodles of him. and making playlists dedicated to him. and learning the stupid piano just so you could play his favourite songs. “you have no right… no right to come back into my life!” your lip quivered, “it took me so long to fall asleep without you. do you know how difficult it is to eat with a heavy heart? maybe you didn’t kill me physically but the world stopped spinning the day you left so if you’re trying to come back the moment i’m starting to feel okay i’m not letting you.” of course you still loved him, but he was the reason why you put such restrictions on love. and now you cant even break your own rules, not even for him. scaramouche opens his mouth to speak but a voice calls out for you.

“hey! ajax is looking for you!” a guest you didn’t even know yelled from across the room. you look at scaramouche one more time before walking past him.

[xhanelia]

I’ve discovered your blog and it’s single handedly feeding my current valorant obsession, I love your writing so much. With that said, could I please request a some fluffy confession scenes with Sova or possibly Chamber? Thank you so much!

I will abandon this page istg i hate tumblr but this is a request i can write in one go so here i am at 00:43. Lets see when i'll finish it. (Im done and its 03:00)

<<<The reader is another agent in the protocol in this fic. Sova part is GN and Chamber part is female reader. >>>

Hope you like it! And thank you sm!!

Confession headcannons with Sova and Chamber

He is the hollywood star of hiding emotions and pressing them in so no one can tell what he really feels or who is the person he has eyes on. Exept himself ofcourse.

He is not some kind of "i'll built up my emotions inside so i wont hurt anyone" kind of person. He knows he shouldnt hide them too long or it can cause damage. He talks about his problems to Brim like everybody does. But not love, ofcourse.

He thinks that he shouldnt feel like this to a coworker. Not that there isnt any couples in the HQ. There is Raze and KJ and he knows that Brim allows it.

He is probably scared of you rejecting him. If so, there will be a moody aura between whenever you two need to team up for a mission. He cannot allow that. That will effect both of your morals and the performance.

But every second he is not speaking about his feelings is like a torture to him. Like all of his energy is drawn out of him when he returns from a mission or just from trainings.

Spending his day at his room, not practising archery, not having conversations much often, sitting in the plane and looking out of the window while going to a mission rather than giving courage to people is not like him. Something is bothering him. Clearly.

You went to sit next to him. He immediately turned his head to you. "Did something happened?" He asked.

"I should be the one asking you that." You said. He stared at you for a good 15 seconds.

"Lets have this conversation after the mission." He suggested with the pressure of his own feelings. It was getting too much for him to handle. You did not pressed on it. The mission was a short one after all. Everyone did good and went back to the HQ with the same plane.

He immediately regret his choice of words when you stood infront of him when he tried to get out of the plane. He was planning to found an excuse but he didnt had the time to think about that.

"Umm..." he said trying to get some time to think. You lift a brow, implying that you both know why you are in his way.

"Lets talk about it when no one is around, shall we?" He said while bending over you a little.

"There is no one around, Sasha. You took unexpectedly long to leave the plane." You said. You were not letting him escape again.

He sighed. Looking around, really no one was left at the landing field. He grabbed your arm and getting you two both out of the plane. The sky was open and orange with the sunset of the beautiful winter.

He held both of your hands. You could feel the shake of them. It was ironic that the sniper of the protocol's hands was shaking that easily before you.

"You dont have to say anything, its better if we pretend that i said nothing, but..." you tilted your head and frown at the words. "I am in love with you." He says.

He is too scared to look you in the eyes or hear the words that will come out of your mouth so he continues to speak.

"I was too scared that our friendship will never be the same after my confession so i kept this feelings inside but they didnt stop growing. I felt like i was drowning and couldnt hide it anymore. I am sorry if i ruined our friendship and-"

He stopped after hearing your laugh. Did he said something stupid? Was this so childish for him to do? Why were you laughing?

"You were hiding this from me? For how long?" You said. He got confused. "Uhh... for... over 4 or 5 months?" He said, unsure about when he got this crush over you.

"You should have told me from the start silly. I like you too!" As you said, his eyes lit up with the happiness. Holding your hands tighter, he asked. "Really? Are you real? You are not saying that because you dont want me to feel bad, do you?"

With your head shake as a no, he hugs you while both of you laugh with joy. And there goes your first kiss with him. Under the orange sky with the blow of an air like a celebration of the nature for both of you.

Mhm. We all know this man aint hiding nothing. He shall show you and everyone that he has eyes on you so that nobody can steal you from him untill he officialy takes you out.

Yea i feel like he would take you out to an extra expensive restaurant to confess, even the offer itself looks like the confession already.

"Chamber, you really dont have to." You say while hanging the vandal back to its place. Training was over and the french man knew your schedule from head to toe. It was impossible for him to miss any of your free times.

"Please, the randevu was made from weeks ago. Plus, if it isnt going to be you then who is it?" He says while giving you the card of the restaurant. On the card, it was written the place of the restaurant (i will die from this stuffy nose istg i cannot write) with the date and time of the randevu with his fancy handwriting.

You gave a smile to him. Not often you got this kind of... um... take outs? (I forgor the word in english) He was generous to offer you this. Altough it was clear why he did this.

You contact Brim to clear that day but he said that Chamber did it for you. Then you discover that nearly everyone knows about the "take out" that you guys will have.

"O. M. G. You know that he will confess you that night, right?" Jett said while cutting cucumbers to put on her eyes but Phoenix eats them trying not to get caught. The girls night is getting little heavy on you. (Pho is one of the girls idc.)

"Yea, yea, i know. Who doesnt." You said while rolling your eyes. Trying to not pop the conversation much.

"I mean, i didnt got a confession in a fancy restaurant." KJ said while looking at Raze. Who has no idea whats going on.

"Well, im okay if he wants to do it this way but im not sure if i'll fit in that kind of atmosphere. Everyone and everything is so expensive. You know." You said while shaking your shoulders.

"Are you kidding me? That french has his eyes on you. You think he will matter if you fit in or not?" Neon lifts the cucumbers from her eyes and looks at you from the couch. You lift your hands sideways as to tell you dont know.

"We will make you fit." Phoenix says with excitement. "What is the date?" He asks while everyone awaits the answer from you.

Eventually, the date comes. Everyone you gave the date is more excited than you. Preparing your dress, makeup and everything like its a doll dressing game.

When it comes to Chamber, he was ready more than ever. It was like classic Chamber yet so different. He had his 'special occasion suit' on him and a smug smile on his face. He offers you his arm and you take it.

(You go to the restaurant but its getting too late and i need some sleep so imma skip that part.)

"So..." he says while you both sit face to face, eating dinner. He had studied this for over how many times and yet he is still nervous. You turned your look at him and raise a brow.

"We both know why we are here, Vincent. I like you too. You dont have to give me a whole speech." You said. Drinking some of the wine to cover your face and overexcitement.

He laughs at your boldness. "Its open like a book, isnt it?" He looks straight into your eyes. You feel like they could pierce through you. "Thats my girl. Bold and smart as always" He says. "You dont need a brain to see that you have eyes on me." It was your time to laugh.

He looks at you with that stupid smirk on his face. Like he truly fell in love if you. "I love you." He says. Giving up on the talk he had prepared. He felt like it was the only thing he needed to say.

Even if that three words was the only thing he said, they made your heartbeat race up immediately. With a giggle, you hold his hand that is on the table. "I love you." You said. The only thing he said and the only thing he needed to hear from you was the same nontheless.

[the-depths-of-the-coral-sea]

Super Spectacular 250 Follower Event!

Welcome to the garden⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ Unlike the previous one, however, this one is filled with everything but flowers★*⁠.⁠✧!!

Musical Mushrooms 🍄

“If you call out to them, they'll call out right back!” Q&A★ Ask me quite literally anything about my interests, my faves, you can even give me a topic or character to analyse, as long as I'm already familiar with them! But nothing too personal(age, height, etc)!! Though if a certain question makes me uncomfortable, I won't answer it.

Limit: none, can send multiple questions per ask✮ 𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

The Frog Pond 🐸

“The frogs love to hop around on the lily pads. They make the cutest sights ever!” A moodboard★ Send in a character of your choice from a fandom in the intro post, and I'll make a moodboard for them!!

Limit: one moodboard per person⭒⋆☾⋆✧

Fairy's Cottage 🧚‍♀️

“The fairies are always whizzing around and spicing appearances up with outfits they seem to pull from thin air!” Custom outfits★ Request any fictional character of your choice(doesn't have to be from a fandom of mine) and some accessories or clothing pieces(e.g. santa hat, short-sleeved purple shirt, etc.) or let me edit some probably strange outfit onto them!! You can also provide a theme(e.g. witch, wizard, hatsune miku, etc.)!!

Limit: multiple characters in separate asks after i've finished the first one⋆｡‧˚ʚɞ˚‧｡⋆

The Magic Mirror 🪞

“It's said that at the very bottom of the pond is a magic mirror that reflects the true nature of your soul...” What reminds me of you★ Drop an ask and I'll include something that makes me think of you!!

Limit: one per person ࣪˖ ⊹₊ ⋆

portal to the intro post+speech utc★!!

WOW. 250... this feels so unreal honestly😭😭 the story of how i joined tumblr is kinda mediocre lmao. basically, it was the only social media website that was accessible on my school computer, so i set an account up with my school email(for confidential reasons). why? because i had, and still have, a lot of thoughts. especially interest related!! but most of my irls dont listen and i have lots of limitations for posting on whatsapp. so i decided to put my thoughts, fandom and non-fandom, onto here!! a blog for anyone that wants to hear me out★ then i got into rp and started making online friends, finding people i admired(cough @/artist-kreating-stuff and @/catihere cough), and soon, tumblr wasnt just a place for me to put my thoughts. it was like a second home. somewhere i really connected with. since then, ive made more friends and found more people that i look up to and am too scared to approach off anon, and it's been fun!!! ive been here for... eight months? seven to eight months. ive made memes, theories, etc. and i have no regrets :) love you guys so so much, hope youre all doing fine, and remember, im always right beside you in spirit, offering you hugs and love<3

thank you so much for 250🫶🫶

[8igiron]

an ode to the end.

on one hand, house was rightous in his anger. he felt the most steadfast person who had ever entered his life was now choosing to leave, which was a reoccurring theme for every other relationships in his life (his father, stacy, cuddy, etc). wilson was supposed to be the exception, but he was actively choosing less time with house. and that hurt house beyond anything else that had happened to him before. of course he wanted wilson to stay, to choose the rougher path. he'd be in pain, and it would suck, but they would be together. there was a chance for MORE. and house was angry that wilson was choosing no treatment. he felt it was the weaker option. house screams "life is pain! I wake up everyday and im in pain!" he kicks and claws and bats at the notion that life isnt worth living just because it's hard. and then he scrapes "do you know how many times i've thought about ending it?" house has faught this battle, fights it everyday. but "how many times have i wanted to be left alone, and you [wilson] made yourself a nuisance?" house stuck around because of wilson. perhaps not solely, but he was definitely a significant part. so house demanding, conning, pleading, begging for wilson to fight - to stay, just a little longer - only makes sense. house doesn't understand why he isn't worth sticking around for to wilson.

on the other hand, wilson's whole life has been lived in by others. most every decision he has made has been for someone else. when things go wrong he blames himself. he blames himself for danny's disappearance, for amber's death, for house's behavior and the severity of his addiction. he blames himself for the loss of every single one of his patients, and he memorializes that sorrow and regret in his office, directly in sight so he can never forget. but then he's diagnosed, and he cant make sense of it. "why me?" he bitters. "i wish i'd been more like you [house] so then i'd feel like i deserve it." and it sucks! "Of course i dont wanna die!" but now wilson has one final choice. he can be passive in his life once more, waiting patiently until the train reaches its final stop, or he can assume what he claims is dignity. he can stand on his own two feet, making a choice thats about him, and him alone. it is in this last act of his life that wilson is finally able to say "i did something for ME." how cruel for his most personal decision to be his doom. how beautiful for that decision to be his most consequential one.

so, really, they are both right. like always, one will bow, the other will break. this time, though, house yields. there's a clock looming over them now. "how do we start?" they’ve got one more chance to get them right. (i sure hope nothing bad happens immediately after this that would keep them from being together)

•

ANYWAY edit! been slightly more active in regards to posting my own stuff on here in the last few days and I figured I’d continue. Lmk if you wanna be house mutuals! I’d love to talk!! I edit, draw, and write, but I mostly just like to scream about them 😔💔

[pseudowho]

I saw your Ask response to someone who was worried that you only reblogged their work occasionally (a mutual of yours I think) and it felt really relevant to me as I'm finding myself in a tight spot at the moment. You made it clear that you just rb what you really like and I respected that and im sad that your abusive asks that you mentioned appear to be related to that subject.

There is a group in a fandom I enjoy writing for who seem to be trying to monopolise the artists and writers etcctc into one big group, with everyone reblogging everything, but the issue is I don't always like what they write, and there is this feeling on the dl like if i dont rb everything then I wont be liked or wanted there. I dont really know what to do honestly Haitch.

✍️ anon if you take emojis please

Ugh. First and foremost I'm sorry this is happening to you. I have been in a similar position to you (there's a group who have painted me as some nasty arsehole, and I'm now roundly ignored by them, because I snapped at the self-appointed leader of the group for constant low-level narcissism and self-aggrandisement).

While I don't regret walking away from clique activity (especially with this one, who mask cliquey hyperbolic reblogs as 'being best friends' and 'positive reblog culture'), I understand how it feels to know you'll be pushed onto the sidelines unless you play their game and conform.

My own 'snap' came after weeks of the feeling that I had been invited to an orgy, but then once I'd arrived I wasn't allowed to join in. I found that because I only reblogged what I really liked, people suddenly treated my work as if it didn't exist. A pervasive feeling that I wasn't allowed to partake because my writing received lots of notes, also crept through.

Hard to say without feeling exceptionally arrogant; it's not how I intend it. I'm viewing this issue holistically at this point, with understanding (though not forgiveness) of the mentality behind it.

Apparently, you're not allowed to partake in toxic reblog culture, if you only reblog what you actually adore, instead of just reblogging everyone's stuff all the time.

So I can see where you're at. Ultimately, you have two choices: the honourable one, or the shrewd one. Do you leave because you won't forgo your values to bend to the peer-pressure? Or do you stay because you want to be shrewd, and understand that there may be some value to being in instead of being out?

In the end, the conclusion I've reached, is that a lot of people on Tumblr are very socially fragile. Lots of people who want to reach out and form friendship groups but are afraid of rejection. When they do form a group, they can then develop a sort of pack mentality of hyper-loyalty, because they're so happy to have not been rejected, and so practice these odd 'Mean Girls' behaviours as a protective mechanism.

It's a shame to sit back and watch it happen. It's harder to sit back and watch it happen, once you've walked away.

I wish you all the best, ✍️ Anon. I hope you can find a way around it.

Even answering this Ask has been rough-- I've been sitting on it all night, not sure if I even should answer it, because I know there's a chance of backlash from it.

I'm trusting that those who enjoy my blog, know me as the sort of person who does not partake in this sort of exclusionary activity.

Love,

-- Haitch xxx

[kroosluvr]

AU/fabrication

start | back | you are here

ok hi cele notes time

at first, this clawmark is just talking out of his ass to save his own skin LMAO ("i dont think you're a heartless sort of person!111!") but the more he talks to this petra, realizing that shes just a lonely, scared human being like the rest of us, he opens up into his more Clawmark as we know him... life advice clawmark...

because if she killed him here, she wouldnt learn anything new about humanity. only more pain, and he's trying to make her realize that: because he couldnt save everybody, and he learned that so acutely, so painfully.

the mutual "learning how to be human" for both of them: showing compassion towards other people, and yourself, and your circumstances. sometimes bad things happen and sometimes the decisions you make aren't 'great', necessarily, but the growth we make is 'good.' the love that we have for other people is 'good.' does it outweigh everything else in the end? that's for your perception to decide really.

also i think this clawmark has a skewed sort of view of 'forgetting' - ill elaborate in the next comic. but. def not smth healthy. he sees his memories with a sort of utmost reverence, because his friend lives there. his happiness lives there. those peaceful days are all behind him, but his elixir allowed it so he can have them forever: at a price of going a lil bit carazy but like. Keeps me on my toes. yknow. (<- Woah mouth wash reference>>????) but yeah I WANT TO WRITE!! MORE OF THEM!!!! kind of filling in the blanks in each other's sense of 'humanity.' What Is Being Human, Really? Watch This Ex-Cleric and Ex-Penguin To Find Out

to maximize your happiness over your suffering: life as that sort of function. that, we have to believe there is potential for happiness and that is "hope." all of these things he tries to relay to her: which is hard because yknow if you hear advice and youre like yeah ok buddy. sometimes it doesnt really resonate, until you DO it and all that. and this clawmark is just hoping some of this goes thru to her. also hes like freezing to death and if he makes the wrong move hes gonna actually freeze to death so theres that

anyway i like writing this Ice queen petra kind of weighing these choices in her head.... because killing this rando human would be the easy way out. but. perhaps. there are greater things out there than just pain and misery and killing and icing the entire world and etc. Perhaps.

and clawmark's "regrets"... the idea of "haunting one's memory"... yeah we'll get to those.

i feel like im not as philosophically inclined as i SHOULD be to write this au IM CTFUUUUUUUUUUUU my tweets abt this au have been insane LMFAO. Let me put some here

yeah idk its a bunch of bullshit BUT (wrings hands) (wrings hands) (wrings hands) idk. yeah idk actually (wrings hands)

[chweverni]

my 3teen gang as songs from my playlist (except i barely use spotify)

ik i did one like this before BUT I SWEAR ITS DIFFERENT HERE! the previous one was my favorite songs and this is from my play..list? (i js realized how weird that sounds) BUT GUYS THIS IS ON THE OCCASSION THAT I DID SO WELL ON MY ENGLISH TEST OMFGG

@mellowdyverse (mai, my soulmate <3) - on and on (tyla) ahem. *sweats profusely* this song is literally so hot and cool at the same time, it screams mai in the sense that she's captivating as a person. her long, black, shiny hair; her deep (dark) brown eyes i could (literally) drown in; her addictive personality (bc i wait for her texts EVERY MOMENT) and the way she puts literally ALL her effort into showing you that your love infact is reciprocated by her. (i still hope this song choice isnt too weird for your liking ;-;) the way we connected so instantly makes me feel like there's a red thread of fate somewhere connecting us bc never have i ever clicked w someone this fast (not lying!). it takes me literal AGES to open up to someone so when i first started to talk to you, i was so nervous of losing you haha so i tried my best to keep the conversation going (dont regret it now)

@247yuyu / @leehanascent (yuyu, my mashu <3) - lucid dream (aespa) "no i cant stop love!" need i elaborate? ;) lucid dream by aespa literally has me on a chokehold just like yuyu's out here making me hold my breath with every thing she writes back because when i tell yall she THINKS about everything she writes, i mean it. she also really really matches my energy bc have yall seen our mattbin / haobin interactions? if not i suggest u check it out cuz those posts give me that extra dopamine i need to go about w my day happily :) yuyu's presence is like a happy pill which i dont think ill stop taking anytime soon :( (NOM NOM NOM)

@hyunhanie (lili, #bffsnextdoor) - nostalgia (crush) the day i stop assigning you crush's songs is the day i start lying. literally. crush is like my comfort artist just like how lili is my comfort person :) ill take the stage to appreciate her cat (murrp murrp meow) doodle of me bc 1) HOWD YOU KNOW I LIKE GINGER CATS //// 2) THW FUCKING HALO OVER MY HEAD IM- MISS MA'AM THATS SUPPOSED TO BE OVER YOUR HEAD

like livi.. thats your accessory :( since i like drawing too i will def stir up some doodles (on paper bc im broke js like that) bc that eye reveal was enough for me to come to the conclusion that you're as pretty as your personality!!!!! i love you so so so so so so much lili <333

and thats all! 3teen gang lives again!!!