#really gotta remember which one i use
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yeah babe we can take control of the cult of the absolute, whatever you want. can i finish my coffee first
based on this tumblr post
#bg3#astarion#kira is in her lane. well-rested. flourishing. (none of this is true she questions all of his decisions constantly)#tav: kira#leetledraws#leetleart#really gotta remember which one i use
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#fuecoco#i gotta say i didn't really care for this thing at first. it was one of my least favorite starters right next to grookey when it was first#revealed. and normally i'm a big fan of fire starters. but this guy didn't do it for me#and this design still doesn't‚ but i do appreciate skeledirge. it's very cool‚ i love the fire hat and the día de los muertos design#it really feels like tpc have been going all out on making pokémon that Fit The Region since gen 8#which is pretty cool. i like it. and i definitely think paldea has some very fun vibes. but i dunno if i'd say it's one of my favorite#regions pokémon-wise or layout-wise. it was their first shot at open world‚ and i think it shows#the older regions with more limitations definitely shone more because they worked better in those limitations#paldea just feels like a big open empty sandbox at times. which is fun to explore‚ but doesn't feel too civilized compared to something#like… unova. where there's a city on every fuckin route corner and they're all so full of life and personality#like i could not remember any of the paldea town themes for the life of me. i can remember their names for the most part#but that's basically just because the facilities that get used a lot are spread out between them. for example: i remember medali#specifically because it's where i go to change a pokémon's tera type. i remember mesagoza because it's the main hub city#i remember levincia because of the posters. i remember montenevera because i think the hyper training guy is there#but not because like. i remember driftveil because YAAAAAAAAAAAAA#y'know. even galar had a better region design than paldea#that's not to say i think paldea is BAD. like i'm not a scarlet/violet hater like every other pokémon “fan” on the internet#i've put like 200+ hours into that fuckin game. i still LIKE it. but my heart still holds a soft spot for kalos and the like
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Always makes me really sad when I'm going through my ao3 bookmarks and see someone has deleted a fic.
Perhaps the author decided to remove it so they can incorporate the writing into original works/seek publishing. But most of the time I think it's either someone not feeling confident in their writing or moving on from a fandom/feeling embarrassed about their past interests.
I get it, I do, I've also chickened out and deleted writing in the past, but it's still sad regardless.
Nobody else will ever, ever be able to write what you just did. There may be more experienced writers out their with a more refined style or fancier prose, but even if they wrote the exact same idea you did, it'll still never be the same as yours because each of us differs in what moments we add emphasis to and which aspects of a character we love most.
Sometimes engagement sucks and it's true that there will always be someone out there we look up to and feel is better at this crap than ourselves.
It doesn't mean what we ourselves create failed to matter in comparison. It'll always matter to someone. The art of creating is never a waste, even if we just file that document away and never work up the courage to share it. And I think that's the same for any type of art.
#jus feelin sappy tonight i guess. and sad. typical october blues for me#i used to follow and comment along every chapter on a lovely little pokemon sun and moon fic and on a different one which was ben 10#and both are deleted now and i dont remember the authors to check in. i hope theyre both okay and i hope they know their writing meant the#world to me.#writings gotta be fun or a release of emotions for u thats all its gotta be. same as any sort of art really!
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oh i can already tell i’m about to have some really unpopular opinions about the edge of sleep tv show
#i remember everyone loving the podcast when it came out#but as someone who was an active fan of audio dramas and podcasts for years at that point the show just. made me frustrated#i realized later after listening to left right game that qcode has this very strange and almost uncanny production behind it#where they get incredibly famous actors to play characters and then bank their marketing on that alone#and the writing is always *almost* good. like sometimes you start to think you might actually be listening to a good show#bc i mean the audio quality and special effects are all stellar#but then the writing and acting is always just a little bit too over-the-top and dramatic for it to feel natural#like the writers don’t know how to portray emotion without visuals so they just make everything Way Too Intense#and each time it feels like they just ask ‘what’s the most insane thing that can happen next?’#’oh ok he’s gonna chop dave’s dick off’#and every time you start to actually like a character they say something misogynistic or just otherwise batshit fucking insane#not to mention that time in left right game where a girl confessed her love to her best friend before LITERALLY DYING FOR HER#only for the best friend in the next scene to be like ‘erm i’m not gay 😐 awkward…’ and she’s NEVER BROUGHT UP AGAIN#qcode productions are kinda like the fast fashion of fiction podcasts i think#they churn out so many so quickly and they always feel just slightly unnatural or superficial#not to mention when i tried looking into them years ago and it’s impossible to find#literally anything about them. like their minimalist ass website was so insanely insanely vague#and yet clearly they’ve gotta have a fuck ton of money backing them to have this absurd amount of a-list talent on board#(which really i think that is all they care about)#anyways yeah some markiplier fans are gonna get pissed at me for not kissing the ground he walks on. but i was one of you. i AM one of you#and i hate that somebody out there is holding the iron lung movie over us like we’re dogs and if we wanna watch it#we gotta watch this show. which BTW they are giving no details about where to watch it#and seemingly no promotion or marketing material for a show that’s been in production for years coming out in less than 3 weeks#just weird as fuck man. and i don’t even think mark has much to do with it
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I'm so excited and so nervous for this job. Mostly excited though
And I'll be getting blocks of days off and get to just hang out and spend time around the area of the southern appalachians. There's so much I wanna do around there and I'm excited to get to do it
And I'll probably be doing a lot of it alone which I'm fine with. I'll get to get more used to just going and doing things by myself and taking my time.
#gotta look for museums around the area#i have a week long training in the field and then 3 days off that i think ill use to just chill around town#itll be kinda tough cuz ill be really tight on money until i get my first paycheck which wont be for two weeks. but itll be fine#theres an aquarium in town. maybe ill check that out.#and i wanna spend at least one of my times off just going around that area cuz thats where my ancestors are from#visit the site of their town. blythes ferry. gravesites and house sites and pre contact archaeological sites.#also for friends and such ill likely have no service so if i disappear thats why#ill turn my queue up before i go in the field if i remember. whatever haha
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do i really want to make individual drinks again
#reaching back into the file cabinets of my mind to remember how i made certain drinks when i worked at the cafe#in preparation for the possibility of this new job#it would certainly mean far less goofing off time than i have at my current job. and i value my goofing off time dearly#but the people here are so fucking annoying lmao. i hate them soooo much#not that the people at this new job would be any better. we're still dealing with investment bankers#godddddd. what i really would want (which would be impossible)#would be to go back to working at the cafe but like. still have paid time off and insurance lmao#but the cafe was a small business and he was not offering paid time off and insurance. and the pay was way less#but i did get to play whatever music i wanted. unfortunately you cant live on that#like i can always say no to this new job if its offered to me. but is my goofing off time worth:#2 dollars less in pay and a half hour to an hour's more commute. well i dont know#a shorter commute would mean i could sleep more. and have more time at home .#i mean i probably don't Need all this goofing off time. but its nice#i dont knowwwwwww#like even though im a bit nervous abt doing it again i know that i would easily fall back into the routine of making drinks#which i was fairly good at. my one drawback is that i cant do latte art but i dont know that theyd really care here#and (because i found the menu of where id work) theres not a ton of drink options?? just the standard stuff#its being called a starbucks cafe but 1) its not managed by them and 2) it does not have their 5 billion drink options#so thats good. less to worry about#doesnt look like i even have to make anything foodwise which i had to at the cafe#here it looks like people can just buy a pastry and thats it#the hours are like. the same i work now. also good#sorry im like using this post to think through my thoughts.#uhhhh oh i looked up the manager who looks like a weenie so im not keen on the prospect of interviewing with him#but i probably would have thought that about my current manager if id seen a pic of him prior to interviewing. i guess???#and with these kind of catering units it seems you dont often deal directly with the manager that much anyway#i just gotta see if i get good vibes#rn i have unsure vibes. but i need a sign to see if this could be good for me#oh id also save money on transportation. and taxes! bc i wouldnt be working in ny anymore#lol oops tag limit. well i hope you enjoyed my job thoughts you probably didnt i know i didnt
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and the award for weirdest sleep goes to...
#todays gonna be a weird i think#might delete socials for a bit#i had a VIVID dream me and one of my mutuals were trying to buy a new Tolkien appendix book or something. new Middle Earth book#and we discovered even opening the book slightly caused us immense eye pain so i confronted the clerk like#WTF IS WRONG WITH YOUR BOOKS#and she was like THOSE HAVE BEEN CURSED GET OUT GET OUT YOU CAN ONLY READ THEM IF YOU PERSONALLY EMBROIDER THE PAGES WITH THE TEXT#and she had like. embroidery kits for the damn book#anyway. that's like the 4th night in a row ive slept badly so.#gonna delete socials and just focus on 1. adding books to librarything. 2. setting up the aerogarden. and 3. finishing this book#i wanted today to be a chill relaxed don't bother with plans day but i think my brain needs a strict to do list lol#also gonna make cabbage rolls for supper. side note the label on that box is REALLY cute ill try and remember to post a photo#not sure if ill make my intended cocktail for tonight. i thought i was sleeping poorly bc i was drinking them before bed but i only had tea#last night and slept worse than ever so. idk. i already have half the ingredients for it...#anyway. the coffeepot is done so i gotta stop rambling and do something#oh side note i found where i went wrong with my budget yesterday LOL i calculated everything monthly EXCEPT my groceries#only added the biweekly/per paycheck number for those which is why i had so much 'extra'#WHOOPSIES#so i gotta redo that and it's actually going to look PRETTY BAD not PRETTY GOOD so
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My sudden onset and inexplicable obsession with genbu in the past year is really fun because I'm developing a lot of tuning skills that apply to literally no other voicebank and will never apply to any others again
#JK jk jk i think some could help with some utau powerscale-y banks maybe#maybe if i use a resampler with a tension curve or something#but its so funny. hes such a weird voicebank#nothing ive seen before in any other commercial concatenative bank. whats going on with him#but any tunung skills i get from him are useless with current ai banks LOL#but thats because i find with ai banks you really gotta exaggerate and draw some crazy lines#with benby you gotta focus primarily on the transitions and vowel endings i find with pitch bends#with like asterian i need to just start scribbling. his vibratos sound fantastic handdrawn too#and rikka i find i need to be suuuuuuper subtle with vibrato on her#i do kinda tune every voice bank differently in general though so i guess its fine that im learning no transferable skills LOL#now using bebbengy does make me forget to use special phonemes which is one bad habit hes taught me <3#sorry that my ai banks never breath. i forget br exists sometimes#and dont get me started on how much i neglect end breaths and glottal stops in utau banks#i need to start remembering. i need to put like a readme file in all my utau voicebanks that shows their special phonemes#and open it any time i use them LOL my current method of just trying to vaguely remember is not. effective <3
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Playing Bomb rush cyberfunk has been a crazy experience so far because i feel like I've been enjoying the game just as much as I'm not doing so
#which is crazy because i went in with the impression that this would be jet set radio but better#and really? the biggest thing is doing for me rn is making me wanna play old-school Jet set radio again#who the fuck looked at Jsr and thought “Hey you know what would make this game even better? 300 different inputs”#which makes it impossible for me to play this solely on the controler (the main way i play games since i suck ass at the keyboard)#because it just doesn't have that many buttons#so at times i gotta be fucking double welding this shit with both the keyboard and the controler and it's awful#because I don't have that good of a motor coordination or whatever the proper term is#on top of that. why did we need a fighting mechanic? that's so fucking unnecessary when Jsr already had a gret way of dealing with that#which was by integrating the grafitti mechanic with the fighting by having it be the way you damage opponents#just adjust that to make it take more hits/graffitis in the fight and boom. you're done. perfectly functional#all it does is take away 3 BUTTONS in a game that already has a shit load of inputs#and ik these same buttons are also used to doing tricks on rails but like. that's such an useless addition#because I'm not actually doing anything like this isn't pulling a move on a fighting game. no skill is needed. I'm just mashing buttons#so you might as well not have both of these machanics and have the buttons be set to do other. more important comands#like the one to manually continue a combo on the ground after getting off of a rail. i gonna hold control on the keyboard and move#my joysticks at the same time whenever i need that and it fucking sucks#so yeah whenever i play it again I'm definitely gonna try mapping my controler to my liking and we'll see how it goes#unrelated to the gameplay i just gotta say. sorry but the songs are so mid#if i knew how to mod things i would replace every single one of them songs from jsf and jsrf. absolutely no doubt about it#like the songs in the jsr games are so unique and distinct from one another. even the ones that have a similar style. which makes them#incredibly memorable like i still remember a good chunk of them from the top of my head and i haven't played that game in months#bomb rush cyberfun songs just feel so samey and forgettable#a similar thing can be said for the environment designs and especially their colors imo#everything within the same area feels incredibly samey and not memorable. and you may think “Carol it's a whole area of course it's gonna#look similar to itself“ and to that i say. yes. cohesion is important but take a look at Kogane and Bento from jsr and you'll see#how despite being the same area and having the a coherent color pallet and overlay applied to it their locations are distinct from eachother#and memorable to the point where i can recall how to traverse thought each area and where they lead to easily#in bomb rush it feels like I'm just looking at the same place everywhere in the map#on a good note! i like the story so so much it's definitely what's gonna cary me through playing the whole game#because jsr really needed more story and fleshed out characters that aren't just different designs you can play as
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Accidentally stumbled onto the dark side of Tumblr again, DEAR GRACE SOME FOLKS NEED INTENSE THERAPY, or need to stop doing drugs, maybe both, my eyes, my poor, poor eyes, I need a holy water and bleach combo
Also I should watch gravity falls again
#I also stumbled upon the extremely delulu side by accident#no idea if its ragebait or what but someone was just like EXTREMELY AGAINST ALASTOR IN ANY SHIP#which is valid you have your own opinion I respect that BUT THEY LITERALLY SAID ITS BECAUSE ALASTOR HIMSELF TOLD THEM?#Alastor is a fictional character and HE BETTER STAY THAT WAY#reminded me of those creepypasta kids who would pretend that Slenderman was real and be edgy#I was friends with one of those#they were... not the healthiest friendship like I'm not super traumatized by them but they definitely left a mark#took me like two years to not jump at the mention of their name#it's like 5 am for me rn I gotta get up in a couple to babysit children which is fitting because todays fic is a daycare au fic thats very#wholesome and I'm having fun writing it IT HEALS THE SCARS#i want corn bread again#my mom makes this really good cheddar cheese cornbread and it's tasty#she also makes like this honey one which is just corn bread with honey drizzled on it and popped into the air fryer#I'm also lowkey craving this casserole I made once with corn bread#I forgot what it's called but it had ground beef+ taco seasoning mixed with like vegetables and a TON of cheese and#it's just so TASTY i love it#like my all time favorite casserole#speaking of casseroles i can't wait for thanksgiving to roll around#I'm allergic to rice but theres this cheese rice and broccoli casserole that gets made#I sometimes sneak a bite#I'm not like deathly allergic I just break out in hives like with tomatoes#OO PLUS THANKSGIVIN' TURKEY my dad makes like a GREAT gravy to go with it#I look forward to it every year#and I'm from the south so we also have sweet potatoes mashed potatoes with marshmallows and cinnamon roasted on the top#and depending if my moms side is visiting we GET PUERTO RICAN FOOD#my mom makes the best food ever#i remember I had macaroons and me and moony were sneakily eating them in the kitchen because they were just for us#and my younger cousin walked in like “Ph macaroons! i want one” and I#without missing a beat just told him “Sure but their pumpkin spice flavored” and he left#it wasn't pumpkin spice it was mango I jsut didn't want to share with him Because the macarons were a reward I need to sleep now goodbye
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Can’t wait for my drivers license to arrive so I can be driving legally again for the first time in 1.5 years!
#for legal reasons this is a joke#SO THIS IS WHATS UP#as a youngin#a young adult one might say#I was starting to learn that some systems are bullshit when I’d previously been a pretty big rule-follower#my mom showing me how to navigate the healthcare system a bit/showing me how student loans legit have practices to confuse and fuck us over#also im really bad at getting things in on time (this is an important fact)#so when I see that my drivers license is abt to expire. I’m like ‘Oup gotta get that done!’ then promptly forget abt it#next time I remember it’s 3 months expired.#I check the date and realize that wait! in a year imma be turning 21 and just one yr after that Real ID’s will become mandatory (im p sure)#so I decide to push off renewing my license! I think that the whole process will b annoying asf bc I’ve only dealt with the DMV in-person#and it SUCKED and took forever. I’m thinking that if I renew my drivers license right on/after my 21st birthday I can knock out two birds#with one stone: I can get it as a Real ID and I can get an updated picture that’s flipped sideways so getting age-checked is faster#little do i know: it’s v much illegal to be driving around with an expired license!#I drive around for a year (over a year? I don’t remember when I first realized it was expired) j having fun#then one month b4 my 21st birthday I get into an abroad study thing and have to get my passport. which I realize is also expired. and#realize that to renew my passport I have to have a valid drivers license. At this point I also realize how fucked I could be if I get pulled#over with my expired license. so I check out the process for DL renewal and rejoice! it’s online!#AND THANK FUCK I CHECKED THEN. bc if I had waited LITERALLY two more days I would not have been able to renew online and would’ve had to go#in-person. and there were no in-person appointments until after my 21st. and I learned in this process abt the fines my state applies when u#renew a DL late and ALSO that u have to entirely retake the test/redo all the paperwork shit if it’s expired for too long. I would’ve had to#retake the test n everything if I’d gone past my bday. I was also in another state for college. idk how incoherent these ramblings are but#basically I would’ve been Ultra Fucked. anyways! got that figured out#renewed the DL and had it sent to my home. then da house floods and crime goes up in the neighborhood and my DL ends up either being lost#Or tossed (with other flood-damaged things) or stolen.#I don’t realize this for 4 months bc I am silly. also in college out-of-state. also other reasons.#finally got around to calling DMV and telling them that my DL never arrived… 6 months after I renewed it!#and they were v sweet and are resending me my DL for free. so in the next few weeks I shall finally b driving legally again#!!!! the end#mypost
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With love,
I didnt think babycorn would notice I've been trying to avoid her. She found me while she was out playing with cherrypit Then she told me if there was anything she could do to help She was willing to do anything anything she put her hand on mine and smiled at me I really dont know what to do (Excerpt from Butter Veil's personal Diary)
Lalapril 4/7: Myth with @windupnamazu's Butter and Pancake
woah starsingers are so cool if only everyone could have a starsinger that would be cool dont you think?
Babycorn kicked her feet back and forth. Today was pretty hot and there was a fleeting thought in her head of jumping into a fountain in Radz-at-Han and splashing around in it.
But last time she did that a bunch of people stopped to stare at her, it was a little scary. For now sitting in the shade was good enough for her.
Especially if she could sit in the shade with one of her bestie best friends!!
Babycorn looked over to where Cherrypit was playing restaurant with Pancake. Something about Pancake being a professional food inspector visiting Cherrypit’s restaurant. It sounded like it was going well for him so far.
“Another masterful dish from Chef Cherrypit Pit!” Pancake cheered, waving her fork in the air. It looked like she was having a really good time. The fact that Cherrypit was cooking actual desserts for her probably didn’t hurt either.
“Yay! Yaay!” Cherrypit bounced up and down. Every time he did he would take a few seconds to adjust his overly-sized chef hat on his head to make sure it didn’t fall off. “Okay! Next is pancakes! For Pancake!”
“Wahoo!! I love pancakes!!”
Babycorn also loved pancakes but she didn’t want to interrupt her brother and Pancake’s fun. Usually it would be much harder for her to resist such a sweet temptation but she was finding it just a little easier because of something else on her mind.
Babycorn wasn’t sitting on the sidelines alone.
Butter was sitting right beside her, but unlike her he was staring down at the ground. He hadn’t said much since he and Pancake got here. Not that Babycorn hadn’t been trying to talk to him. Most of her questions had been met with silence.
Could this be what had been taught to her as a ‘best to leave them alone moment?’
No, no that couldn’t be it! If it was up to her she would never want to be alone! Being alone and by yourself was the worst!
There must have been something Butter wanted to talk about. “It’s really hot today huh?!” Babycorn practically shouted. Though what she was doing couldn’t quite be described as shouting. Because of her current condition she was only really speaking into Butter’s head directly.
“Yeah. It’s pretty warm…” Butter sounded a little uninterested.
“Y-Yeah…!” There was a strange feeling in Babycorn’s small little heart. Something about how Butter was acting was making her feel worried. Was he okay? Was there something wrong?
Babycorn hadn’t been here for the past week, on account of visiting her grandma in Gridania, so had she missed something? The only thing she could think of was what Pancake had told her when she got back. It was something about how her and Butter’s parents were visiting Radz-at-Han too.
Now that she thought about it, Butter hadn’t even welcomed her back at all!
That was weird! No it wasn’t! Yes it was! Was it?! Why was she worried about that!?
Because he was a bestest best friend! Of course! Of course! That was it!
Babycorn wondered for a bit about what else could have Butter feeling so sad. Until she just figured that there was nothing she could come up with. Thinking wasn’t her strong suit, she pretty much knew this.
Everyone else was much smarter than her but she couldn’t just walk up to one of her friends and ask about this, that would be embarrassing.
…Huh. Weird. She normally would be fine with doing that.
Before she could think of anything else, Babycorn found herself just speaking without a second thought. “Hey Butts?” She brought her legs up and hugged them close to her. “Are you okay? You’ve been kinda acting weird all morning.”
“H-Huh…?!” Butter looked caught off guard, his mouth was wide open and Babycorn noticed that his eyes looked kind of tired.
Babycorn suddenly grabbed his face and brought it closer to her to get a good look at it. “MmMph! HmpgmH??” Butter tried to say ‘What are you doing???’ but he couldn’t quite get it to sound like that.
“You don’t look sick. So that’s not it!” Not like she would be able to tell. Babycorn let go of Butter and smiled at him without a care in the world. “So it must be something else! Have you been eating all your vegetables? And also breakfast too?” It was the most important meal of the day after all.
Butter rubbed at his face, “I…No I-”
“You haven’t?!”
“No I have! Babycorn its…” Butter didn’t even know where to start. Would it be at the part where his mom was actually from another world or the part where the one person she needed to go home was the secret that Babycorn trusted him with? He was ashamed that he even had his initial reaction of telling his mother that he knew the Starsinger she was looking for.
“It’s nothing!” Butter smiled, “I’m just thinking-”
“-something silly?”
“Uh…Yeah. I guess something like that.” Butter tried to laugh, hoping to ease Babycorn’s worries.
Instead he saw Babycorn look the most worried she had in months. “I see.” That was all she said.
Butter tensed up. The sound of the nearby fountain was almost deafening. Had he somehow given it all away? He knew Babycorn could speak into his head but could she read thoughts too?
Cherrypit was able to do that, what was stopping Babycorn from doing it too?
It felt like everything was slowly closing in.
What was stopping his parents from appearing at this very second. They would walk in and his mom would find out that he lied through his teeth. He lied to her and had stopped her from going home. Then they would take Babycorn away and then who knows what would happen.
The worst of the worst case scenarios ran through his mind.
He would lose his parents, his family, his friends.
Babycorn.
There was no way out of this. He was trapped. Trapped. Trapped. Trapped. Trapped.
“Hey!!”
Butter opened his eyes. When he opened them he saw Babycorn looking right at him. It was funny but he hadn’t even realized he had closed his eyes.
Okay, maybe it wasn’t that funny.
He noticed that someone was patting the top of his head. When he realized that it was Babycorn, a light blush crossed his face. “Butts. It’s okay. It’s okay.” He had seen her do this before. This was how Babycorn usually calmed down Cherrypit when he was upset, she even did this to Airy sometimes.
He sighed, so much for not letting Babycorn know anything.
When Babycorn decided that Butter looked calmed down enough she put her hand down. “I don’t really know what’s going on but I hope that whatever it is gets better.” She scratched at her scar and looked away from him. Truthfully she hadn’t expected herself to react that way either.
“I hope so too…” Butter wiped at his eyes. They stung slightly.
The pair sat in silence for a while, with only the sounds of their siblings distant bantering and the fountain to fill in the awkward silence.
Suddenly Butter felt something brush up against his hand.
When he looked down he saw that Babycorn had placed her hand on top of his.
“Butts…If there’s anything I can do to help with anything. You can count on me. Okay?” She held out a gold necklace with a green jewel in the middle. Just looking at it gave Babycorn a stomach ache. “I didn’t want to be a Starsinger. I really didn’t want to…” Her years of denying the fact had caught up to her when she least expected it, “Chelinka, uh, I mean I kept telling myself everything I could do once I accepted it but all of it sounded really scary. To be able to do, I mean. Bending reality. Changing people’s fates. It doesn't sound normal.”
Butter tried to hide the fact that learning none of this was new to him. His mother had gone on and on about the miracles a Starsinger was capable of doing.
“I didn’t want to lose myself. I didn’t want to be someone I’m not. But…”
Babycorn moved her hand under Butter’s, wrapping her fingers around his. “I don’t want to have become a Starsinger for nothing. I want to use my powers to help everyone I can! To help my friends with whatever they need!” She smiled at him, her eyes sparkled in the sun. It was almost blinding. “I know it’s really hard to do things by yourself…So let me help if I can!
Her hand was cold but it was the warmest Butter had felt in days.
“Okay. I will.”
Babycorn grinned and nodded, “Anything at all! You name it and I’ll be on my way! Promise!”
Butter silently nodded alongside her.
As the two of them turned back to watch their siblings neither even took notice that their hands never separated. Even when Cherrypit called Babycorn over for her to look at something, both Butter and Babycorn walked over, hand in hand.
At the same time, just beyond the fountain, a familiar Viera woman watched the scene in front of her with a smile on her face.
#lalapril#lalapril 2024#Babycorn#Butter#ahehehe#i wanted to use butters diary for one of these#i wrote so many they gotta be used for something else right right?#i remember lulun saying which outfit butter would wear in radz at han and i think i got the color wrong but I REMEMBER#to babycorn thinking something Silly means oh no youre really in it now#babycorn of mind of I'm gonna help people no matter what happens to meeeeeee yipppeee <- (not good)#pancake is just having fun eating cherrypits gourmet food for free hes making it on a little stove#the absolutely nothing bad happens after this
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🥺
i would in fact like to touch carpenter butch muscles. that would help me in this time of need .
#carpentry is one of those things i really really really wish i could do but im too ♿ (full body weak) to do it#i watch guys on youtube do little carpentry projects sometimes#oh to feel up a butch's arms up n down and admire how strong they are n all the tools they can use#i am a sucker for rough n strong butch hands too. and susceptible to butches showin off which fingers they use on girls. like its#such a simple gesture but it makes me blush#she speaks#anon#asks#in any case thank you for the ask 😭 sweet of you to do that for me#also i feel like i had a carpenter butch in my asks before at some point but i cant remember. it would be very cute if that was a. not just#a figment of my imagination & b. also you. dont gotta say either way though
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Feel like I am absorbing as much as my father after his death as possible. I will carry on his Legacy. I will be the Biker (in time). I am already the weapon collector (though with knives, not guns). I even have accepted owning a minions mug, something I swore would never happen (I hate those fucking things), just bc it makes me think of him.
Maybe he's gone now, but I'm gonna make damn sure to live a continuation of his life... just in my own way, lol
#speculation nation#like how im taking so much of his clothes. im absorbing some of his masculinity too#i own so many harley things now. like tshirts and such. my dad had so many.#and. well. i did end up deciding to take his little revolver. though that's with more of a grave observance than anything else.#guns are. scary. and i think it's ludicrous that i dont even need a permit to own a gun here#but it's my dad's. and at least a revolver is less scary than like. a pistol.#less easy to accidentally go off. u gotta pull back the hammer every shot and everything.#guns are scary and i dont like them. but it was my dad's. a pretty big part of his life.#i was raised being taught basic gun safety rules. brought to a shooting range at 9 years old#i couldnt even hold up the rifle i was so small.#never went since then bc i didnt care for it. but it's still... something so intrinsic to him in my mind.#so in this Too. i will be continuing his legacy. at least a little bit.#we r gonna be selling most of his guns. but not that one.#it's so tiny. it fits so well in my little hands. i kind of love it almost as much as i fear it.#oh well. i'll be careful. i was taught to never forget the danger a gun can be.#a part of me also is like 'omg a revolver. like what vash uses!' which ok maybe that's part of why i went to the revolver too#though the primary reasons are. it's a Tiny piece. and also itd be Really difficult to accidentally shoot it.#bc u gotta full on cock it back And pull the trigger. that aint gonna happen by accident.#but yeah not to be Stereotypical American but yea guns sure do exist here#and it's in my family too. i want the gun to remember him by. even if i dont ever end up using it.#(tho ive contemplated taking it to a range at least once just to get a feel for actually shooting it#Just In Case i ever end up needing to use it for like. home invasion self defense or smth#which is. another Smaller reason for me to have it. things to think about.)
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#one problem that's got me right now; aside from my stomach audibly churning wanting something more; is no one listens#people try to listen; and people think they listen; but they don't actually listen#there's always advice to be given; there's always their own perspective to be imposed on things#and everyone means well; everyone's real damn caring you know? that's part of why I don't just say this shit#but no one actually listens#...why is it that so often when I listen to people they're like 'Exactly!'; but when people listen to me it's like... you didn't hear me?#am I just pickier? or when I listen is it that I go broader strokes and avoid advice?#I'll often take a shot in the dark just based on looking inward and seeing how I'd be feeling in that situation#and... and this isn't a brag or something; but I can't remember the last time someone didn't feel validated by it#(which must be blindness on my part; I must have missed the times I made people feel more alone)#(I certainly don't always even manage to find something worthwhile to say; but when I do people seem validated)#but that's me turning inwards and just presenting how the situation makes me feel; and that making people feel seen#(like once again; not fucking bragging; but people will act like I saw right through them)#(when I was just tossing out something that I was only like 70% sure of and felt probably insulting or something)#but then I complain that people impose their own perspectives when talking to me... when me doing that seems to be what works#so why the fuck is that? is it that I more use myself as a thing to look at to relate to them while not really giving advice?#is my real complaint more like 'no one seems able to listen without trying to offer advice'?#also like... no one seems able to like... fucking trust me; or think for a second I might have lived this shit (possibly longer than them)#like... in a non emotional example:#once was talking about how I gotta heat my room with an electric radiator and the person starts telling me about how I gotta do it#like '3 ft away from any object' type advice and it's like...#I've been doing this for like 4 years; radiator sits about 6-8 inches from my bed and the cat spot; wood never gets more warm than sunlight#like I'm no fucking guru on it; but please don't treat me like and idiot you need to teach when you haven't actually used this stuff#why the hell can't anyone trust me? I got myself a fucking house; you know? why is it always always always advice#I'll talk about a situation; be doing more or less all anyone can do; all you have to say is 'yeah fuck that asshole'#no no; advice on what I need to tell someone about how to deal with that asshole that's not as nuanced as what I'm already doing#you share your biggest fears and just get fucking advice that won't work on how you can fix them#...kinda makes me want to blow my brains out as much as the hunger does right now#wish someone would mimic me on this; cause I seem to know what I'm doing#'gee sorry to hear that; that sort of thing is hard to deal with; you're doing a good job getting through it'
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fucked up that they don’t put radios in boomboxes anymore
#years and years ago i had this really nice hello kitty one that played cds casettes and it had radio#now u just get cd and aux. if ur lucky#and like u used to be able to get radio on ur ipod too#now? u gotta download a radio app and u can only play stations that stream online too#like dont get me wrong i love radiogarden#but from a more practical pov#what if theres a disaster#what if theres no wifi#isn't it in everyones best interest to have a radio around to keep up to date on whats going on??#i hate to go all ''kids these days'' but i KNOW they arent going out and buying radios#and idk maybe ive just seen night of the living dead one too many times#but disasters do happen in real life too!!#sorry bout all that its bc i was in the car earlier#and i flipped to preset seven which usually doesnt come in#but it did and it was playing the kim possible theme song#and i was like. WHAT station is this??#and it wasn't coming in real good so i couldnt understand what the dj was saying#but i made sure to remember the call number to look it up when i got home#well. no such station??#so i figure its probably close to the number i had saved#but i can't check rn bc i don't have a radio in my room :/
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