#really don’t wanna get into any kind of political argument but

[didnt-hear-idsb-live-again]

.

[ellies-little-thing]

I thought you hated me (e.w.)

My masterlist <3

Warnings: Roommates; modern Ellie; Mature content; swearing; fluf; smut; arguing; reader is referred to as she/her; Ellie is mean; Readers first time with a girl; Mentions of past relationships; cheating, mentions of drinking; love/hate relationship; Reader has a vagina; enemies to lovers (kinda); Kind of proofread, English is not my first language.

Author's notes: Hi! This is my first ever fanfic, I hope you like it, I really liked writing it! Feedback is always welcome and likes and reblogs are always encouraged! Thank you! Enjoy! 

Hi i re-edited this fic, I hope you like the sligth channges!

Word count: 25k

NSFW MINORS AND MEN DNI!!

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You and Ellie didn’t exactly get along, sure you had to hang out with each other because of your friends, but you guys always teased and bad mouthed each other until it ended up in a full-blown argument.

Maria was rearranging roommates for each dorm and as you approached the door  that was supposed to be your new home, your breath hitched.

Ellie opens her door in a hoodie and shorts and sees you standing there. “Great, you’re the one living with me” she scoffs, clearly annoyed.

“Happy to see you too.” Y/N says sarcastically. Ellie rolled her eyes, walking into the room and sitting down on her bed.

“Of course, it’s YOU living with me, I can’t even be in peace in my own room?” She crossed her arms and gave Y/N a stern look.

“It isn’t like it was my choice!”

“Oh, I’m aware, the fact that we’re forced to live together is absurd, I want no trouble.” Ellie sat her head in the palm of her hand, she was very annoyed.

“I won’t bother you if you don’t bother me.” Ellie seemed surprised that Y/N had already given up, she had been expecting a lot of trouble.

“That’s it?” Ellie asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I don’t want to argue.” Ellie seemed almost sad when she heard Y/N’s words, sure she had expected them but she wanted to argue.

“I was looking forward to that…” Ellie said, almost whispering.

“What?” You asked because you couldn't hear what she'd just said.

“Never mind, you don’t wanna argue.” Ellie stood up and crossed her arms. Ellie took a look around the dorm that was now her new home.

“Oh, did I hurt your feelings?” You say mockingly. That was the perfect sentence to piss Ellie off. Ellie marched up to Y/N, she was now looking down on her with a blank expression. Y/N was about 5 feet tall (1.52m) and Ellie was 5’7 (1.70m).

“Hurt my feelings? I don’t have feelings, you’re an ass anyways, why would I care.” She scoffed.

“Nice one dickhead!” That actually caught her off guard. Ellie actually had to think of a comeback to that. Ellie had a stern expression as she thought of something, she had to think fast. Finally, she had an answer and a smile spread across her face.

“Well, at least I’m a dickhead, you can't even get any dick.” She said almost laughing.

“Like you have one…” Ellie almost lost it at that comment.

“Ohhh, but I do..” She smiled, she was now very amused by the fact that she caught you off guard twice.

“Oh, do you? Since I last checked, girls don’t have dicks.” You said annoyed.

“Check again dear, girls can have dicks. I am proof of that.” Ellie was still smiling, the look on your face was hilarious.

“Let’s see it then.” You challenge her.

“Oh please, a gorgeous lady like me doesn’t need to show you, how about we skip straight to your bed?” She asked in a cocky tone, she had clearly already won the argument.

“Fuck you, go beat one off alone and leave me be.” Ellie actually started laughing, she couldn’t help herself and she had to cover her mouth to stop laughing.

“I wasn’t being serious, that’s not very polite of you my dear.” She said, holding back laughter.

“ha ha.” You say dryly. Ellie was still amused by the conversation, she had actually enjoyed talking to you. She had been expecting an argument, but this was actually very entertaining.

“What should we do? Are we gonna hang out or something?” Ellie asked, sounding slightly annoyed.

“Do what you want, I’m putting my stuff away.” Ellie watched as you put your things away, it looked like you weren't gonna budge on doing anything with her. Ellie was stubborn and also a bit annoyed, she had to come up with a plan to get you to spend some time with her.

“You’re not gonna do anything fun with me?” She asked, trying to make herself sound convincing.

“Hum… Since the last time I checked..I thought you hated me?” You said, not even looking at her.

“What? Who said I hated you?” Ellie asked, sounding confused. “You and I are gonna be roommates, I just thought I would try to make this easier for both of us.” Ellie explained. “Can’t we just hang out for a bit? You look fun…”

“Fine.” You said.  Ellie felt accomplished, she had successfully convinced you to spend some time with her and you had only been roommates for about an hour. Ellie sat down on her bed and looked over at you putting your belongings away.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” You ask annoyed.

“What? Am I not allowed to look at you?” Ellie asked. She had crossed her arms and tilted her head slightly; you were confusing her but Ellie still had a plan. Ellie wanted to hang out with you, if she couldn’t convince you to hang then she would just force you to be her friend.

“No, that is a privilege honey.” You mocked.

“I don’t think I’m your honey.” Ellie laughed a bit while she spoke.   Ellie still wasn’t used to the fact that this girl, who she thought would be mean and not like her at all, was actually willing to talk to her. It was very confusing to Ellie but she was now actually looking forward to hanging out.

“Just leave me alone.” You say quietly.

“You know I can’t do that, we’re roommates, remember?” Ellie was persistent, she wasn’t just gonna let you do whatever you wanted right away.

“Plus, being annoying is kinda my thing.” She shrugged.

“Perfect.” You say annoyed. Ellie smirked; she knew you weren't serious about your comment. Ellie actually felt better talking and hanging out with you, she had assumed you would be a very mean and awful person. Ellie got off her bed and continued looking at you. “Do you maybe wanna watch a movie or something?” Ellie asked.

“I’m going to take a shower, bye.” Ellie was surprised by this response, but she was still persistent.

“Fine, but after you take your shower, we’re watching a movie.” Ellie had to admit though, the thought of being alone for hours was scary.

“Hhhghhh….” You say annoyed.

“What?” Ellie looked at you, now confused. She had thought that you had agreed on watching a movie with her.

“Pick the movie then.” Ellie was surprised, she had expected you to refuse and walk away.

“Alright then, um… do you like Horror movies?” Ellie actually didn’t like horror movies, but anything for you to see the other side and to have a chance to become her friend.

“You pick! “ You get to the bathroom and close the door. Ellie knew that this was her chance to pick a romance movie, but she decided to still stick with the horror movies. Ellie put on a horror movie that her friends had recommended for her awhile back and then knocked on the bathroom door. Ellie had to admit that she was a bit nervous, for some reason just talking to you felt weird. She figured this was because she didn’t usually spend such a long time with someone who didn’t like her.

You get in the shower and start singing. While waiting outside the bathroom, this gave Ellie an idea. As you were singing in the shower, Ellie put the volume down on the TV and started singing the exact same song that sounded like you were singing. Ellie knew that this was the perfect opportunity to get your attention and maybe even have some fun.  You get out of the shower and get dressed. You then open the door and your hair is still dripping.  Ellie noticed that you hadn’t said anything and decided to keep singing, she had a plan.  Ellie started singing a lot louder and tried to mimic the voice that you had. You would hear Ellie singing and hopefully come over, at this point Ellie didn’t have any other plans. She hoped that you would come check it out. You look at Ellie but don't say one word. Ellie decided to say something, she was waiting for a reaction but you remained silent like always.

“Hey uh. Y/N… Can I get one of your hair ties...?” Ellie asked a bit awkwardly; she still wasn’t used to you at all. Ellie figured that giving you a task might help you loosen up a bit.

You throw Ellie a black hair tie. Ellie caught the hair tie and put her hair in a half bun, now she just waited for a response. Ellie was feeling nervous, she couldn’t let this chance slip. “Can I try something?” Ellie asked as a grin spread across her face.

“What?” You looked at Ellie while drying your hair.

“Um… can you do me a favor...?” Ellie was already starting to turn red from embarrassment, she felt anxious. Ellie hadn’t ever been this close to you, she was starting to feel a bit nervous.

“What is it?" Ellie looked at you and her expression turned from nervous to excitement.

“This might sound a bit weird but can I just… hug you..?” Ellie asked, her tone was a lot shyer and softer than it usually is.

“Humm…. “ You get a bit surprised. Ellie’s heart beat rapidly, she felt a bit nervous. Ellie thought about it for a moment and then just reached out her hands , she was going to take her chances and go for a hug.

“Okay…” You let Ellie hug you. Ellie took her chances and hugged you, it was a bit uncomfortable but it was worth it. Ellie then let go of you and looked down, she was now smiling. “Let’s go watch the movie.” Ellie said in a very confident voice, she was feeling much better after the hug.

“What is up with you?” You were really confused at this point. Ellie looked at you, this was another question that Ellie expected to be asked. Ellie took a second to think and then responded. “Nothing, nothing is up with me. I just felt like showing affection to my roommate.” Ellie shrugged.

You  look at Ellie suspiciously. “Hum…. I have my eyes on you, Williams.” Ellie smiled; she was very happy that you hadn’t refused to do anything with her so far. Ellie sat back down on her bed and put the TV back up to the volume it was on before. “Do you wanna watch the movie or not?” Ellie said.

“Fine.” You sit on the couch.  “What did you pick?” Ellie looked at you as you spoke.

“It’s gonna show some blood so it’s 18+ if that’s okay? The movie is called “It Follows”, ever heard of it?” Ellie was excited to see if you would enjoy the movie she picked.

“I love horror movies!” You say excited.

“Then this should be right up your alley.” Ellie pressed a button on the remote and the movie played. Ellie was nervous, she had thought that the movie would be perfect to watch with you. Ellie then looked over at you to see if she had a response. you were excited to watch the movie.

Ellie was so happy to see that you actually wanted to watch it, everything was going the way Ellie planned. Ellie looked over at you once again, to try to see how you were reacting so far to the movie.

Ellie was now hoping that the horror elements of the movie would make you scared, Ellie wanted to see you act like a scaredy cat. You jump at one of the jump scares and then burst out laughing. Ellie started grinning as you jumped, she was so excited to see you act scared.

“You scared?” Ellie asked, trying to hold in laughter as she spoke.

“No! It was really funny actually.” Ellie tried to maintain a serious expression but when you said that the scare was funny, she couldn’t hold it in anymore. Ellie just broke out laughing, she felt like she had already made a lot of progress. When Ellie finally settled down, she glanced at you.

“Do you find the movie funny?” Ellie asked, she was genuinely curious.

“I find all horror movies funny; can you imagine the actors doing all this stuff?? They sure are trying really hard not to laugh whilst the cameras are rolling.” You say, talking almost like a little kid talks about their favorite things.

“Really? Do you not find any horror movies creepy?” Ellie looked at you, she expected the answer to be a big no. Ellie found the majority of horror movies creepy so the statement that she found them all funny was bizarre and confusing to her. Ellie actually liked the answer though, it made you sound less scary and more human.

“Why? Are you scared?” You teased her.

Ellie blushed slightly, you had caught her off guard. But you were right, Ellie did find this scary movie creepy. Ellie had to respond to your question to avoid being mocked, so the answer she gave was an honest one. “A bit.” Ellie admitted. Ellie didn’t want to admit it but there weren’t any lies to hide behind in this situation.

“Oh, I have such a baby for a roommate.” You teased her again, smiling.

Ellie was expecting you to say something like that. Ellie now had her moment to tease you instead. Ellie put on a cocky expression and nodded. “Yes, I’m a big baby and I’m scared of scary movies.” Ellie spoke in a deep voice as she pretended to fake cry. Ellie kept doing her fake crying while looking at you.

“Too bad I don’t care.” You scoffed. Ellie was enjoying herself way too much to stop, she kept the deep voice going.

“I’m so scared!” Ellie said, doing her best acting. Ellie was waiting for your reaction; she felt a smile spread across her face.

You just laughed at Ellie’s bad acting skills. Ellie was still pretending to cry, but when you laughed, she stopped. Ellie pretended to wipe tears from her eyes as she spoke, “Hey, I thought that was some grade A acting! How come you’re so mean to me?” Ellie pretended to fake pout; she was just gonna keep this up until you couldn’t stop yourself from responding.

You turn sad all of a sudden. “Are you crying...?” Ellie sounded surprised at the sudden change in emotions, she was trying to hold back a laugh but she didn’t want to sound mean. Ellie just watched as you sat on the couch, you really were the most unpredictable person in the world. Ellie had to try so hard not to laugh at your sudden mood change.

You look away from Ellie and continue watching the movie. Ellie decided to say something, she was very curious to know if something was wrong. Ellie didn’t know what actually made you sad or even why you were sad. “Hey umm. you alright?” Ellie asked.

You smirk.  “Now who’s the best actor here? I am!” You tease ker. Ellie turned bright red; she had been caught off guard. Her mind had been racing at what she could say as a response. Ellie decided to just accept the loss and move on, so she responded with. 

“Yeah, okay you win. You’re the best actor.” While Ellie was admitting your acting to be superior, she didn’t feel like it was the truth. You just smile.

“You look cute when you smile.” Ellie blurted out before even thinking about it. Ellie realized what she said the moment the words came out of her mouth. As soon as this happened Ellie’s cheeks turned bright red, she just smiled awkwardly while she waited for a response.

“You think I’m cute?” Ellie felt herself so embarrassed but didn’t want to deny that she meant what she said. Ellie took a second to think before responding to your comment. “Yes, I’m sorry it’s just you look kinda cute and I don’t know... I just feel like I have to be honest.” Ellie said while her face still remained red.

“You look cute all flustered like this.” Ellie was not expecting you to continue flirting. She turned even more red; she felt her face burning as her emotions started to go crazy. Ellie was actually really flustered, she felt herself turning red even more.

“I-… um, thanks.” Ellie finally stuttered. She wanted to say much more but it was difficult to talk when her face was almost as red as a tomato! You chuckled softly and continued watching the movie. Ellie was glad that you just laughed, but since if you kept trying to flirt, Ellie would’ve turned into a mess.

“Hey um… can I say something?” Ellie eventually asked. She knew that the answer would be no, but she still wanted to say what she was gonna say.

“Yeah?” You respond.

“Okay this is probably gonna sound a bit strange, but I think you’re actually really cute.” Ellie looked at you and spoke, her face was still red but that was ok. She wasn’t gonna just hold it back, she wanted you to know. Ellie was glad she said it in the end, even if you completely rejected her, she felt good not keeping it inside. You blushed. Ellie was expecting so many different reactions, maybe you would smile, say no , laugh or be mad. Ellie never thought she would see you actually blush! Ellie watched as you turned a bit red, her face lit up as she smiled at you once again. Ellie was so happy that you blushed, she didn’t even care if you didn’t feel the same way about her. Just seeing your reaction made Ellie’s day a lot better.

“Oh, shut up!” You pushed Ellie playfully. Ellie laughed; she thought that your reaction was hilarious even though you were trying to sound mean at the time. Ellie pushed you back and tried to be mean back, although she didn't think she succeeded that much. “Am I too cute for you to handle?” Ellie said in a mocking tone. She now had a wide grin on her face, she was having a lot of fun.

“Just watch the movie!” You smiled looking back at the tv. Ellie knew that it would be best to just watch the movie, so that’s what she did. Ellie turned back to the TV and watched as the movie continued playing. Ellie had been enjoying herself a lot, the movie was scary but she was having fun with you. She noticed that you hadn’t tried to flirt with her again, but that was ok. Ellie was having fun in the current situation; she hadn’t planned this but everything was going better than she could’ve imagined.

You glance at Ellie to see if she’s scared. Ellie was doing a pretty good job at pretending to be scared, she wanted to see if you believed it. All of the horror scenes made her jump and she kept glancing over at you too. Ellie was hoping that after the movie you would say that she was acting. You noticed Ellie getting scared. During the last scene in the movie Ellie got the biggest scare, she actually yelled out loud in the middle of it. Ellie sat there not knowing how you were gonna react to her acting. she was doing her best to pretend to be scared when she actually wasn’t. The way she reacted did seem a bit over the top, but she figured it was fine. Ellie just looked at you and waited patiently for a response.

You laughed as soon as Ellie jumped. Ellie looked over at you when she started laughing. She now knew that you just didn’t believe a single bit of her act, but it was still ok because it was fun to do. Ellie laughed and was glad that you were laughing as well, she didn’t want this movie watch session to end yet.

“Hey ..” Ellie said, trying to get you to speak again.

“What?”

“Can we watch another movie?” Ellie asked in a soft voice, she was getting a bit nervous. Ellie wanted to keep enjoying herself by watching movies with you, but she had no idea how you would respond to the question she just asked. Ellie didn’t wanna sit in silence, she was gonna watch another movie with you no matter what.

“I think you’re enjoying my company after all.” You say in a slightly teasing tone.

“Yeah, I am.” Ellie said. She wasn’t lying. Ellie really liked you, you was the first person Ellie had ever liked this way. Ellie felt her heart beating rapidly as she waited patiently for you to put on another movie.

“What movie are you gonna put on next?”  No matter what you decided, Ellie was gonna watch the movie with yor. Ellie liked spending time with you and if it kept going like this , she might fall hard for you.

You were a bit surprised at Ellies response. Ellie watched as you seemed kind of surprised by her honesty, Ellie was too nervous to speak, she just looked at you and waited for her to say something else, she really wanted to know what movie you were watching next. Ellie was just happy that you weren't mad, that was the only thing she was worried about before she admitted her honesty. Ellie’s heart was beating a million miles an hour, this was one of the most important moments in her life.

“What about some cartoons? “ You tried to seem chill about the whole thing.

“Uhm… sure?” Ellie was confused about why you  were suggesting cartoons but she didn’t mind. She just liked being in your company and spending the evening with you by her side. Ellie watched as you put on the cartoon, she didn’t wanna take any of the attention away from you. But Ellie couldn’t resist a moment more to ask you a question. “Hey…  How come you want to watch cartoons?” Ellie asked in a tone that was a bit softer than usual.

“I always liked animation movies.” Ellie smiled at you as you spoke, she was now really happy that you liked cartoons.

“Alright then!” Ellie said as she looked over at the tv and watched the cartoon. Ellie thought that this was probably one of the best nights of her life , she was so much herself while being with you and she couldn’t imagine how much more there was to come in the future. Ellie looked over at you again to see if you would say anything else. “What do you like?” You asked her, watching the tv.

“About cartoons?” Ellie looked at you, she really didn’t think you even cared about what she liked about cartoons. Ellie thought you just wanted to watch cartoons and didn’t want to know what she loved about them. Ellie decided to say what she loves about cartoons anyway. “Well, I kinda just love everything about them! They have the best plot and animation! I love how they can tell stories with so many morals and lessons!” Ellie explained, her eyes were sparkling while she spoke.

“I know right? Everyone thinks cartoons are just for kids.” You respond enthusiastically.

“I know right!? Cartoons are amazing and not just for kids! There are so many different types of cartoons!” Ellie was very passionate about cartoons and could go on for hours about how amazing they are. Ellie was still trying to learn more about you, and now she knew what you liked. Ellie was so happy that she found someone who loved shows the same way she did. “You gotta tell me your favorite cartoon now, don’t leave me hanging.” Ellie said jokingly.

“Arcane, definitely.” You responded with a serious tone.

“You like Arcane!?” Ellie looked over at you, she wasn’t sure if she heard her answer right. Ellie loved Arcane; she couldn’t even explain how much she loved the show. Ellie wanted to know everything about your opinion on arcane. The fact that you loved arcane made her night so much better! 

“I’ve watched it more than a dozen times at least, almost know all the lines by heart.” You say a bit timid.

“You’ve watched it more than a dozen times?! You must be obsessed!” Ellie was starting to sound like a giant nerd, but she didn’t care about that one bit. Ellie just looked at you smiling after her comment. Ellie also thought that the idea of you knowing all the lines was super cute. You blushed a bit. “Yeah, maybe I’m a bit obsessed….”

Ellie couldn’t help but look at you as you blushed. She started getting the feeling that this night was turning into something amazing. Ellie also felt herself blushing, she just had to keep looking at you.

“Well, what’s your favorite episode?” Ellie asked, she liked asking questions at this point in the night, so she didn’t mind asking again. Ellie felt like you were the only person she could really open up to right now.

“Oh, I can’t really choose, but my favorite scene is when Vi and Jinx reunite.” Ellie nodded and listened to you speak, her eyes were following you.

“You can’t choose?” Ellie asked, she really liked being able to speak about arcane with you. Ellie then watched as you talked about her favorite scene in the show. The idea of the two sisters being reunited was a great scene, Ellie also agreed it could be a favorite.

“That’s actually one of my favorite scenes too, even though it felt pretty sad to watch.” Ellie said as she smiled at you.

“Yeah, I still cry every time I watch it.” You admit quietly.

“Me too, but I do love how the two of them can just forget their past problems just for a moment and be sisters again.” Ellie looked at you as she spoke, the two of them talking about their favorite parts of one of their favorite shows was something else. Ellie just continued to smile. “I still haven’t seen season 2, have you?”

“It only comes out next year, can’t wait!” You responded excited.

“Neither can I, I wanna see it soooo badly!” Ellie looked over at you and tried not to look too excited.

“We should watch it together! When it comes out.” Ellie just wanted to watch more cartoons with you. Ellie was starting to wonder what else the two of you could watch to keep this night going.

“You wanna watch more shows, right? I have a few others that I recommend…” You wait for Ellie to continue. Ellie looked at you and tried to think of shows that you might like. She went through her brain trying to make a list in her mind of everything you could enjoy. “We could watch Adventure Time; it is technically for kids but it’s amazing.” Ellie was kinda rambling at this point, she had way too many choices of what to watch. Ellie was also really curious about what you might wanna watch.

“Oh, I love Adventure Time! " and  "The Amazing World of Gumball"! " You said with a grin on your face.

“You like both? oh I can already tell I like you.” Ellie got really excited at this point, she never met someone who enjoyed the same shows as her this much. “We should watch one of them next, which one do you wanna watch first?” Ellie was trying not to freak out about how cool this night was turning out.

You tried to look cool when Ellie said she liked you, to not blush again.

“Why did you just turn red?” Ellie saw that you turned red at the comment she made and she was really confused as to why? She didn’t think you would care this much about her opinion. Ellie was kinda worried she made you mad or something, she didn’t know what to do.

“Oh, it’s nothing, let’s watch Adventure Time then.” You say quietly.

“Are you sure nothing is wrong?” Ellie was still looking at you, not sure if she made you mad or not. “Alright then let’s watch adventure time! What episode should we watch, just the next one in the series?”

“Sure.” Ellie put on the next episode on Adventure Time, she was super happy that you actually liked the show as well. She looked over and smiled at you, she didn’t even realize that she was smiling as hard as she was. Ellie knew that the night couldn’t get any better. It was starting to get late and you were getting sleepy. Ellie looked at the time and noticed that it was actually getting pretty late. Ellie didn’t want to ask you to leave just yet because she really wanted to talk to you more. Ellie decided to compromise and ask you to stay a little bit longer.

“Hey Y/N... are you tired at all? We could just watch one more episode if you want…”. Ellie just wanted to see your response. Ellie felt like she really enjoyed herself and didn’t wanna end the night yet.

“I’m a bit tired, I think I might head to bed.” Ellie’s heart started beating faster as you told her you were a bit tired. She was kinda disappointed, but that was expected at this point in the night. Ellie was hoping that you would say that you wanted to watch one last episode, even though she knew that her chances were low. Instead of pushing for you to stay, she thought it best to just respect her decision. Ellie smiled and replied back to you. “Yeah ok…. Well, um… alright then. I’ll see you tomorrow…?”

“See you tomorrow, Ellie.”

“Good night, Y/N.” Ellie tried to hide how sad she was now that it was the end of the night. Ellie could already tell that she wanted to see you again and spend more time with her. Ellie wasn’t gonna ask you to stay and talk anymore, she felt like one of her favorite nights was ending and there wasn’t much to do. Ellie was just glad she finally met someone like you.

You laid on your bed thinking of Ellie. Ellie was in her own room; her eyes were glued to the ceiling while she thought about you too. The past hour was amazing, but now that it was over and the two of you were in their own rooms… Ellie began to realize just how much she liked you. Ellie’s heart started to beat fast and she felt a feeling of warmth in her stomach as she thought about it more. Ellie felt like you were thinking about her too, even if you weren't. Ellie just laid there with a smile on her face from thinking about you.

You couldn’t go to sleep thinking about Ellie. How could you have had such a pleasant evening hating each other just the day before?

Ellie decided to text you, the idea of texting a girl just to talk to her seemed like such a new thing to her, but she wanted to continue speaking to you. Ellie quickly typed the message she wanted to send and sent it immediately after.

“Hey, I know it’s late, but I wanted to say that I really enjoyed spending tonight with you.” Ellie read the message back to herself at least ten times, she didn’t want to write anything that would weird you out.

Your phone buzzed. It was Ellie. You smiled at the text. " Me too Ellie" you responded. Ellie smiled when she saw your text. Ellie started to type another message, but wasn’t sure what to write. Ellie looked at her phone and reread her message about 10 more times. Ellie eventually went back to her blanket and laid there, she was still thinking of you. Just the idea that you also enjoyed the night was enough for Ellie to fall asleep. Ellie fell asleep with a smile on her face and couldn’t wait for the next morning.

You  got up early and walked to the kitchen to have breakfast. Ellie was still in bed, feeling lazy and cozy. Ellie wanted to spend as much time as possible in bed feeling comfortable. She didn’t really plan on doing anything today, it was just a normal weekend day after all. Ellie thought about you from time to time while in bed, she couldn’t really help herself. She was getting really attached to you after a single day together, it just felt so crazy to think about.

You wondered if Ellie was going to wake up. You ate and got dressed to go for a morning walk while Ellie still slept. Ellie eventually woke up at around 10:30 am, she was a pretty late sleeper. She wanted to go back to sleep almost immediately but a feeling in her gut made her decide to get up. Ellie didn’t have anything important to do today so being lazy didn’t matter too much. Ellie sat on her bed trying to figure out what to do today, and of course… She kept thinking about you and couldn’t get you off her mind.

You sat on a bench soaking in the sunlight.

Ellie walked outside; it was now around 11 am. Ellie didn’t really have anything to do today but still wanted to get some fresh air. She couldn’t stop thinking about You and her mind was full of thoughts about her. Ellie was hoping she saw you outside, maybe they could hang out again today. 

You kept thinking of Ellie and your conflicted feelings. Ellie felt the cold breeze hit her skin as she walked around. She was a little nervous about where to go now that she wasn’t in her room anymore. Ellie wanted to go to your room and see what was up, but she didn’t want to be too weird by showing up at her bedroom early. Ellie wasn’t really sure where to go now that she was outside and didn’t know when to stop looking for you.

You spotted Ellie walking. Ellie felt like someone was watching her, she looked over trying to figure out who it was. Ellie saw you as she looked over and her heart started to beat faster. Ellie walked over to you. “Oh, hey Y/N! I didn’t know you’d be outside this early!” Ellie’s face was as red as can be, she tried so hard not to look too excited to see you. “What’re you doing here?”

"Just soaking in a bit of sunlight.”

“Oh, alright! We’ll, uh… I was thinking maybe you wanna go do something right now? Like, we can maybe go get something to drink or we can watch something?” Ellie was trying not to sound too pushy but she really wanted to hang out with you right now.

You patted the seat next to yours on the bench for Ellie to sit. She slowly walked over to you and sat down on the bench. Ellie was a bit too happy to be sitting with you, she tried to calm herself down. Ellie felt like you two would be really close really fast if the day kept going the way it was going right now.

“This place is so calm and relaxing; I could stay here all day long!” Ellie pointed to the nearby trees and birds; she thought it was beautiful.

“It really is.” You looked around at all the trees. Ellie looked at you as she smiled, she loved how cozy the day felt. Ellie’s heart continued to beat fast as she just looked at your face. Ellie wasn’t saying a thing right now, she just wanted to enjoy the moment. “It’s really nice sitting and talking with you here.” Ellie said after a moment of silence.

You didn’t look at Ellie, not wanting to show how happy you were. Ellie felt like she made you feel uncomfortable, she tried her best to try and put you at ease. “Hey, is it ok if I sit here and talk to you? Or did you want to just sit here and relax alone?” Ellie said she felt like she might be bothering you if she tried to stay here. “We could also just talk and not look at each other if you want to...” You nodded, “It’s okay, you can stay.”

“Alright, thank you.” Ellie smiled again as she continued to just sit there with you. Ellie’s heart continued to beat fast and her face was super red. She wanted to talk more to you, she didn’t want this moment to end yet.

“So... why didn’t you like me before? I know I’m not very pleasant, but still.” Ellie thought about your question for a moment. She then looked over at you for a second and decided to just be truthful for once.

“To be honest, I didn’t really have any good reasons for not liking you…” Ellie tried to sound as honest as she could, it was nice to not lie for once. “In reality, I don’t think I could’ve ever really disliked you.” Ellie tried to hide her blushing face from you, but she didn’t know if it was working or not.

You started fidgeting with your hands, you were nervous but didn’t want to show it. Ellie noticed you fidgeting with your hands, she wondered why that was. Ellie didn’t want to embarrass you in any way , so she decided to continue the conversation and change the subject. Ellie decided to ask you another question to get her mind off of the previous subject. “Can I ask you a question?” 

“Yes?”

“So, um… do you like cartoons?” Ellie was just talking about whatever came to mind to keep up with the conversation. Ellie was kinda nervous that you would see through her attempt at making small talk.

“Yes, we watched some yesterday, remember?”

“Oh, right!” Ellie laughed nervously, she was realizing how dumb she sounded just then. Ellie was nervous now, maybe you were already thinking that she was annoying? Ellie hoped you weren't annoyed already...

You saw how nervous Ellie was. She tried to just ignore how anxious she was feeling and try to act normal. Ellie was really scared that she was going to push you  away somehow and make the day really awkward. Ellie didn’t understand the reasons behind these nervous emotions she felt for you, but she also didn’t want these emotions to ruin today. Ellie felt the need to say something to keep the convo going. “Do you wanna go and watch more cartoons in my room?” Ellie said, trying to ignore her anxious mood.

“Sure Ellie. It’s starting to get cold out anyway.” Ellie smiled at you and then got up off the bench. Ellie didn’t want to force you to come into her room with her, she wanted you to choose to come inside. Ellie then turned to you and smiled. you followed Ellie as she smiled even harder, Ellie looked back at you every few seconds to make sure that you wanted to follow her to her room. Ellie couldn’t believe how well the day was going so far.

You looked around Ellie's room. Ellie’s room was a bit messy, it looked like there were just piles of clothes thrown everywhere. Ellie had no problem with this, but she wasn't sure you would be a fan of the mess in her room.  “Sorry if my room looks messy…” Ellie was afraid you would just walk out right now.

“Are these drawings yours?” You look at the wall above her bed.

“Huh? Oh yeah they are!” Ellie laughed a bit and pointed to some of her drawings in a corner in her room. Ellie was super proud of her drawings and was glad that you took a look at them. Ellie took a step closer and watched you look at her art. Ellie was glad that she showed you something about herself and was now wondering about your own art skills. “Do you like to draw or paint?”

“They are beautiful.” You say still admiring her drawings.

“Thank you, Y/N…” Ellie was really happy that you liked her drawings. Ellie wanted to try and make you show your own drawings now, she could already tell that you were probably a better artist then she was.

“Hey Y/N, do you maybe wanna show me some of your drawings?” Ellie said as she was super curious to see what you made in your free time.

“Sure, I think I took some pictures of a few with my phone.” You show Ellie your art. Ellie’s eyes brightened when you pulled out your phone. Ellie was super excited to see the drawings and was glad you would be open about your art. Ellie took a step closer to you and looked at the images on your phone. Ellie was speechless when she saw your art.

“Oh my gosh Y/N, you’re such a good artist!”

You blushed. “They’re nothing special really…”

“Oh come on Y/N, you really know how to make anything look so realistic!” Ellie kept complimenting your art, she couldn’t help herself. Ellie felt like you were way too hard on yourself and thought the art was amazing. Ellie now felt the need to try and one up you and make a better piece of art then yours. Ellie wanted to impress you so she decided to try and draw something on a piece of paper she found on her bed.

“Hey, what are you sketching there?” Ellie hid the drawing she was working on and looked over at you. Ellie then hesitated before speaking. “Oh uh… just... just a doodle...” Ellie said with a slight nervous laugh, she was starting to feel really embarrassed now. Ellie was getting really nervous that you would judge her art and end up not liking her anymore over it.

“Let me see,” You teased. Ellie felt embarrassed, you were definitely playing with her. Ellie decided to give in and show you the drawing she was working on.

“Alright… here!” Ellie showed you the drawing she was working on, she covered her face a bit so she couldn’t see your reaction to it. The drawing Ellie drew was a picture of you. Ellie got worried that you wouldn’t like it and tried to hide her smile while looking at your reaction.

You were surprised and blushed at Ellie’s drawing. Ellie felt really happy with your reaction. Ellie’s heart was beating fast, and she had a really big smile on her face. Your happiness just made everything 10 times better for Ellie. Ellie wanted to thank you for all the compliments she was getting from you. “Thank you, I’m surprised you liked my drawing of you.” Ellie smiled once again. You smiled and asked quietly. “Can I keep it?” Ellie hesitated for a second. Ellie wanted to be nice and let you have the drawing, but at the same time she wanted to keep it for herself. Ellie was conflicted for a few seconds before replying.

“Fine then...” Ellie then handed over the drawing to you. Ellie had a small smile on her face as she let you have the drawing she made of you.

“Thanks, Ellie.” Your smile grew wider.

“No problem, Y/N.” Ellie felt really happy that you liked the drawing. Ellie could tell that this was the best day in her entire life.

“Hey, uh… Y/N?” Ellie hesitated to ask. Ellie was wondering how you were so bold at times. “Can I ask you a question...?” Ellie said nervously.

“Yes?”

“How… how are you always so brave and not afraid to do or say things?” Ellie asked with a serious look on her face, she wanted an answer badly and to learn more about you. Ellie wanted to be as confident and bold as you as of right now.

“Hum... I’m not always like that…”

“But you seem so confident most of the time, you just say things and don’t let yourself hesitate.” Ellie sounded a little jealous in her tone. Ellie tried to hold in how impressed she was with your personality. Ellie felt like her whole personality was changing now just because of one person.

“I think it’s so no one really notices how anxious I am all the time.” You said, looking at the ground embarrassed. Ellie’s heart beat fast at this comment, she felt bad for you and the fact that you were always anxious in social situations. Ellie was a little shocked that you would go through all of that every time you talked to someone. “Hey Y/N, if you are ever nervous talking to people, you can always talk to me. I promise that I’ll never feel like you’re bothering me.” Ellie said with a slight smile.

“Thanks Ellie, it’s okay though.” Ellie felt even worse when you said it was alright and that you didn’t need to be anxious around her. Ellie just wanted to feel like she could help you in some way. “Hey, maybe it wouldn’t be the worst thing if you needed someone to listen to you.” Ellie sounded pretty serious about this topic. “I mean, you can tell me anything. I wouldn’t judge you no matter what you’d have to say.”

“Why are you being so nice?” You asked a bit lost in your thoughts. Ellie was surprised by the question. She was even a little shocked, she took a few seconds to think about an answer and not sound weird. “I just… I just like making people happy and I don’t want you to feel like you have no one. I feel like you’re a really cool person and I don’t wanna make you feel like no one cares about you.” Ellie smiled. “… you can ask me anything as well if you want...”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me this before? I really thought you didn’t like me for the longest time…” You said fidgeting with your hands. Ellie got a little awkward hearing this. Ellie was worried this made it seem like she wasn’t interested in you this whole time. “I’m so sorry, I should’ve told you earlier that I liked talking to you. The main reason I didn’t is probably because I was nervous…” Ellie then went silent for a second. Ellie quickly changed the subject before too many awkward questions got asked. “So, um… can I ask you another question now?”

“Yes?” Ellie took a second before asking her question. She didn’t wanna ask you a weird question and make you uncomfortable. Ellie then decided to just ask a question about yourself. Ellie was super curious about your past and how she is the way she is. “Hey Y/N… how did you get into art?” Y/N smiled softly.

“I have always liked drawing since I was a kid I guess.”

“Oh, that’s cool Y/N.” Ellie thought it was cute that you always liked art ever since you were a kid. Ellie then looked over at you, she was now super curious about one thing that she wanted to ask you. Ellie was quiet as she thought about this question for a second. “H-hey Y/N…” Ellie hesitated to speak at first, but she got the feeling that she had to say what she was thinking. “Why were you always so mean before?”

“It's a defense mechanism, I think.” You responded, shyly. Ellie’s heart started to beat fast at that answer. She felt awful for you, she knew you probably had a rough childhood and used your defense mechanism as a way to cope with it. Ellie now just wanted to hug you, she wanted to show that she’d always care about you.

“Well… even if you feel like you need it as a defense mechanism, I can promise you that you don’t need it around me…” Ellie said while still looking at you  in the eyes. You felt nervous. Ellie kept staring at you as she saw that you were feeling anxious. Ellie was trying to make you as comfortable as possible. Ellie then decided to get even closer. She wanted to let you know that she was gonna be here for you. Ellie smiled as she said.

“Please don’t feel nervous, I’m never gonna judge you… Ever.” Ellie then leaned in and gave you a quick hug like she wanted. You looked at Ellie and smiled softly. You then touched Ellies hand. 

“Thank you.” Ellie felt even happier when you thanked her for hugging you. Ellie felt like her and you were already closer friends and that was just awesome, Ellie then realized something. She never held someone’s hand like this, at this point it seemed like the two of you were getting really close. Ellie’s cheeks turned red as she was now blushing. Ellie was quiet for a second before trying to change the subject. “I wonder what time it is right now?”

“Hmm... “ You looked at your phone to see the time. Ellie decided to also check her phone to see what time it was. Ellie was surprised to see it was already 4:00 pm.

“My goodness, the day is flying by already?! I don’t want it to end!” Ellie said jokingly. Ellie then turned to you and smiled.

“Hey Y/N… do you ever have anything more planned for today or are you just hanging around? Ellie wanted to get to know her friend a bit more.

“It’s the weekend so I don’t have anything planned.” You said casually.

“So you’re free today? Well... um... what if I ask you something then?” Ellie was very nervous at the question she was going to ask. “H-hey Y/N… d-do you maybe wanna hang out for a little bit? I-It’s ok if you don’t want to." Ellie said she was super embarrassed to ask the question but decided to do it anyway.

“Sure, I think I would like that.” Ellie was surprised when you agreed to hang out with her. Ellie could now see herself just talking and hanging out with you all day.

“Oh… t-thank you Y/N… I actually really needed this today…” Ellie gave you a bright smile as her cheeks became a little red. Ellie was really excited to spend time with you and she couldn’t wait to talk to you even more.

“Are you okay?” You asked Ellie. She was surprised at the question. Ellie didn’t even notice that her emotions must have been noticeable on her face.

“O-oh… um... yeah I’m fine… you don’t need to worry about me.” Ellie said awkwardly, her face turning even redder as she tried to hide how she was smiling at you. Ellie felt a little uncomfortable telling you how she felt, she wanted to stay away from her own emotions as much as possible.

“Oh, okay.” You said looking around the room. Ellie then had an idea, she wanted to figure out a way to change the subject. Ellie didn’t want to get all emotional again and have you notice. “Hey… I uh… have a question for you...” Ellie said while slightly hesitating.

“yes?”

“Hum… What do you like to do for fun? I mean besides art of course.” Ellie was curious about Y/N’s interests and what you liked to spend your time doing. Ellie was kinda hoping to join you in your hobby, just so she could spend more time withyou. Ellie wanted to learn more about you and now she had the perfect chance to do so.

“I love video games even though I suck at them.” You smile. Ellie was surprised when you said you loved video games. Ellie loved video games too! Ellie got really excited when she heard you liked them too, now she had another way to interact with you. “Wait .. you’re telling me that you like video games?” Ellie’s eyes lit up and she was now super happy.

“Yeah, what’s your favorite?” You asked her Ellie was so surprised this was a thing that she and you both liked. Ellie really wanted to ask if they could play games together now. Ellie thought about if she was asking too much, but then decided to ask anyway.

“O-oh uh… i uh… l-like a lot of video games actually… I-I actually really like… playing horror games.” Ellie said nervously, she was now trying to think of how you could ask you if she wanted to play video games together.

“Shall we play one together? Just be warned I’m really bad at them” You smiled.

“Oh, I don’t mind if you’re not good at them! I’m fine with it!” Ellie sounded excited in her tone, she was just happy that you agreed to play with her. Ellie felt like she was gonna be closer to you because of your gaming interests. “How about… we play one of your favorite video games first?” Ellie said with a slight smile on her face.

“How about some Mario Kart to start?” Ellie then realized that she never really played any Super Mario games before, but was very happy that she got to try out a new game for the first time. “Sounds good to me!” Ellie smiled.

“Oh, alright then. Do you wanna start?” Ellie now felt even more excited to play the game. Ellie didn’t realize this was one of your favorite games! Ellie now had a really good impression of you now; she was starting to understand what kind of person you were outside of being artistic. Ellie felt even closer to you now than she did when they first met.

“Let's go!” You both start playing.

“Heh… this already seems fun!” Ellie now understood your enthusiasm for video games. Ellie was very focused on the game and tried to get into it as much as she could. She was starting to think that this was also one of her favorite games as well. Ellie kept playing the game, she was having so much fun and she wanted to spend as much time with you . Ellie even felt like the two of you were getting a bit closer already.

“Whoa, you're definitely cheating!” You tease Ellie.

Ellie felt embarrassed after hearing you accusing her of cheating. Ellie was just trying to play the game as well as she could. Ellie tried to defend herself. “Hey! I’m not cheating! I just… I’m just good at playing the game!” Ellie sounded like she was joking, but she really wasn’t cheating. Ellie didn’t want you to think she was cheating on this Super Mario game.

You laughed. “Just messing with you!” You nudge Ellie’s shoulder. Ellie was happy that you laughed. Ellie had a big smile on her face and even giggled a bit when she got nudged by you. Ellie then nudged your shoulder as well. She was then silent as she kept playing the game. Ellie won. She was proud that she won, but at the same time felt bad for you that she lost. Ellie thought about asking you to play again right now. Ellie didn’t wanna brag about winning.

“Hey Y/N… can we play again?” Ellie asked with a nervous smile on her face.

“Okay, but I'm going to win this time, just you wait!” Ellie smiled at you and just knew that it was gonna be super fun. Ellie liked how confident and competitive you were. Ellie got her controller ready and was excited to play! She then decided to get the game started and the characters picked. Ellie decided to go with her favorite character, Luigi! She got ready to try her hardest to win this time. Ellie was silent as she got ready for the game to start again. You chose Peach and then started the game.

Ellie was super focused, she really wanted to win so she tried her absolute hardest to not make any mistakes. Ellie looked out for any power ups or any good opportunity she could use to her advantage to win this game and beat you. Ellie was silent as she was playing this time. Ellie’s smile faded once she made a mistake and was now trying to recover. Ellie felt a bit nervous as she didn’t know if she was gonna win this time. You were in the lead, smiling.

Ellie’s eyes filled with worry as she saw that you were in the lead and winning. Ellie couldn’t help but try her hardest to get it back from her. Ellie was still a little nervous that she wasn’t gonna win this time. She tried to do everything in her power just to try and catch up with you and win the game. Ellie’s face was filled with concentration as she kept.

You stuck her tongue out in concentration. Ellie was trying not to laugh when she saw you sticking your tongue out in concentration. Ellie tried to hold back and focus on the game and winning. Ellie was in close second place in this game now though. Ellie’s heart started beating faster as she was a little excited that she was this close to winning the game. Ellie stayed quiet still for now and focused on playing. Ellie was super excited and nervous at the same time.

You won the game and jumped excitedly as it ended Ellie felt her heart beat quickly when she lost. Ellie was so close to winning but then got beat at the end! She felt a mix of emotions when the game ended. Ellie’s face was a mix of shock and disappointment. Ellie was not only happy she got to spend time with you but a little sad she didn’t win the game. 

You celebrated for a bit and tripped landing on Ellie, her face grew bright red. Ellie felt surprised when you tripped and fell onto her and felt a bit embarrassed. Ellie then started laughing a little when she saw that your face turned bright red. Ellie could now see your real face, it was super cute. Ellie’s face was a mix of embarrassment and laughing while smiling at you. She felt a little hot and got nervous.

You quickly recomposed herself, embarrassed. “Sorry about that.”

Ellie still smiled and said: “O-oh it’s completely fine...” Ellie then realized how close her face was to yours. Ellie quickly turned her head away from yours just so she wouldn’t get too embarrassed. Now Ellie’s face was bright red too. You sat, both really nervous. Ellie felt like it got super silent all of a sudden. She couldn’t help but feel nervous after what just happened. Ellie was wondering how she could continue this conversation and get rid of the awkward atmosphere.

You relaxed a bit and held Ellies hand looking straight ahead at the tv, still nervous. Ellie was stunned to be honest when you suddenly decided to hold her hand.  Ellie’s face felt really hot as she had no clue how to respond to this situation. For now, Ellie stayed silent. Ellie then started to play with your hand a little bit. Ellie wanted to make you even more comfortable and closer to her.

You felt Ellies touch and got butterflies. Ellie felt like she was melting. Ellie liked holding your hand and it felt really nice. She then held your hand a little closer to her chest. She liked the feeling of having you so close to her now and didn’t wanna break this precious moment. Ellie was quiet as she still played with your hand a little bit.

You got really nervous and took your hand back. “Sorry. huh... I think I should go...”

Ellie felt her stomach sink to hear that. Ellie felt hurt when you took your hand away. She was now left silent and felt like she could say anything to get you to stay with her. Ellie’s eyes looked at you but she didn’t say anything for now. She was just waiting for you to say something…

“I’m sorry, I... see you tomorrow yeah?” You left her room feeling super anxious about what happened and headed to your own bedroom.

Ellie was shocked to see you leave. She was super confused about why you left so suddenly. Ellie was scared that she did something wrong and wanted you to know she cared about you. Ellie didn’t want you to leave at all.

You couldn't believe how close you and Ellie had been. You closed your bedroom door and sat down playing the moment in your head. Ellie then slowly got up from the couch and knocked on your door. She was worried about you and wanted to make sure you were alright. Ellie just couldn’t bring herself to leave her friend like this. “Y/N… are you okay? Please...” Ellie hesitated for a bit. “Can I come inside?”

You don't respond waiting for Ellie to go away. Ellie didn’t wanna leave you just like that. Ellie kept knocking on the door for a bit before finally deciding to just open the door herself. Ellie felt kind of bad for opening the door without any permission but she just didn’t want to leave you alone like that. Ellie was quiet as she just didn’t wanna say anything wrong. “I’m sorry for just opening the door like that...”

You looked up, nervous. Ellie kept her eyes on you and said. “Y/N… can you please tell me what happened? Why did you just leave like that? It’s alright if you don’t want to talk about it but please… tell me what happened.”

Ellie looked worried when talking to you. Ellie still wanted to know what happened but she also didn’t want to push you too much. She was now silent while waiting for a response.

You didn’t know how to respond.  “I think I just got too anxious. Ellie saw that you were kinda embarrassed and anxious. Ellie realized that she definitely put some pressure on you asking you stuff. She then tried to lighten the tone a bit.

“Oh, it’s alright… you don’t have to tell me anything…  I just don’t wanna do anything that ends up hurting your feelings or making you feel a little anxious.” Ellie smiled sweetly at you and looked a little worried.

“Thanks, Ellie. We'll talk tomorrow, okay? “ You wanted to be alone to calm down right now

Ellie saw you and nodded her head. Ellie understood that you  just needed to be left alone for now. Ellie didn’t really wanna leave you but understood why she had to do it. She let out a small sigh. “Okay... see you tomorrow, Y/N.” Ellie walked out and closed the door behind her.

You let out a long sigh when the door closed.

Ellie walked back to her room as well and then sat down on her bed. She just felt a bit disappointed in herself. She wondered, “What did I do wrong this time?” Ellie just tried to be nice to you and it ended up like this… Ellie just couldn’t comprehend what made you leave. Ellie just felt a bit scared she might not even be friends with you anymore …

You got in bed and tried to sleep. Ellie got into bed as well but couldn’t sleep. Ellie felt even more anxious and worried about what she did. She realized she had to do something or else the tension between her and you wouldn’t get fixed at all. Ellie then got up and decided to go over to your room to talk. Ellie couldn’t just wait around and do nothing and wanted to apologize as quickly as possible. Ellie didn’t wanna wait until morning…

You heard a knock at your door. Ellie waited a few seconds before knocking again at the door. She just hoped that you would answer and let her in already. Ellie really wanted to talk to you and see if all the tension between the two of them could just be fixed. She kept knocking for a few more seconds waiting for you to answer.

“Yes?”

“Can I please come in?” Ellie sounded so nervous. She was almost begging for you to just let her inside already. Ellie thought of you as a close friend and this was the last person she wanted to upset.

“Yes, come in Ellie.” You sat up in your bed. Ellie quickly walked inside and closed the door. Ellie went to go sit next to you and just had to try and explain herself. Ellie’s face was filled with concern. “Y/N… can I... talk about what happened before? Please I just….” Ellie froze for a second and didn’t say anything for a bit, she just didn’t wanna mess anything up again.

“It's my fault. I’m sorry.” You said hugging your own legs. Ellie looked surprised to see you blame yourself. Ellie then decided to at least try and assure you it’s not her fault.

“No Y/N… please. This isn’t your fault at all. You don’t have to worry.” Ellie smiled at you and just wanted to make you know everything was alright. Ellie stayed silent for a bit. “Can I please just know why you suddenly left like that?”

“I never... I never held someone’s hand like that and I got scared I think...” Ellie felt super surprised to hear what you just said. She then felt a bit confused but also interested at the same time.

“Y/N… What do you mean? Have you never held someone’s hand before?” Ellie felt a little shocked to say this. Ellie looked at you  with a confused look on her face.

You looked down. “No, I know you’ve had a few relationships but I’ve never done anything like this before.” Ellie had her suspicions that you didn’t really have this kind of experience at all. “… so let me get this right. You had never held anyone’s hand… especially another girl…?” Ellie’s face was filled with curiosity now. Ellie looked at you and expected a response.

You nodded embarrassed. Ellie now felt kind of bad for you as she could tell you were feeling embarrassed about this. “Oh wow… so I guess I was sort of your first person to do that with?” Ellie asked while smiling at you. 

“Yeah, you were... and I felt too overwhelmed…” Ellie looked at you for a few seconds. She was surprised to hear that she was your first girl to go this far with. Ellie felt more concern hearing this come from you. She didn’t know how to respond. Ellie saw your face turn bright red, almost as if you were blushing. Ellie was thinking of ways to comfort and make you feel more comfortable again. She didn’t want to have anything awkward or uncomfortable like this happen again between you.

“Y/N… you don’t have to worry about anything. I’m here for you if you need it.” Ellie said, looking at you. Ellie knew she couldn’t say any more words to make you feel better. She knew words wouldn’t really change anything. Ellie didn’t wanna leave you alone like this because she didn’t wanna hurt your feelings. She was kinda scared to say anything now.

“I’ve never been with a girl before. I had a boyfriend or two but realized I didn’t really like boys.”

Ellie felt curious to know more details. “Oh… if you don’t mind me asking, what made you realize you didn’t like boys anymore?”

“Never felt attracted to them but I tried since it seemed to be what everybody did.” Ellie felt sad to hear that you didn’t feel that attraction when it came to boys but Ellie understood why you would’ve tried it out since it seems like a lot of people did it too. “Oh… I’m sorry to hear that you felt like you had to try those kinds of things just because everybody else did it.” Ellie paused for a second. “Did you ever feel attracted to me at all?”

You blushed when Ellie asked that. Ellie smiled when she saw you blushing at her question. “Y/N… do you wanna know why I asked you that question?” You looked at Ellie waiting for her to speak. “Well, I’m gonna be honest with you here… I felt kinda attracted to you myself.” Ellie looked down at her lap feeling nervous when saying this. Ellie was almost red at this point, she was so nervous about how you would respond to her statement. You blushed even more as if  that could be possible. You did know what to respond, but you had had a crush on Ellie since forever. You just hid it really well.

“Y/N… can I tell you something?”

“Yes Ellie”? You asked nervous.

Ellie took a deep breath before saying what she wanted to say. She was shaking a bit due to the nervousness. “Y/N… I have to say… I’ve had a crush on you… for a while now…” Ellie waited to see your response to this. Ellie was starting to sweat. She was so nervous.

You looked Ellie in her green eyes. Ellie didn’t really know what to say next when she met your eyes.  “Y/N… I wanna let you know that I’ve felt like this for quite a while and I feel so lucky that I can be friends with you.” Ellie  felt like she just couldn’t look away from your eyes. She felt her heart beating loudly against her chest. 

“So... that was why you were always teasing me before?” You smiled. Ellie just nodded yes when you asked her. Ellie smiled shyly again when you smiled at her for that comment. She felt like she could get closer to you again.

Ellie then put her arm around you as she smiled and then slowly pulled you closer to her. Ellie then hugged you before saying. “I’m so glad you’re my friend…”

You got caught by surprise when Ellie hugged you at first but then you  hugged Ellie back. She then started to lean on you a little bit. Ellie was feeling so comfortable and relaxed now. Ellie just wanted to be closer to you. Ellie now laid her head on your chest as she also felt your arm lay on top of her. She then decided to move her head to your neck before saying. “Your neck feels so soft….” Ellie said this in a very gentle but also teasing way, she smiled sweetly again.

“Ellie, this is a lot to process.”

Ellie looked up at you again, she was now holding your hand. “Hey… don’t worry too much about it alright? I’m glad you at least know what I feel for you now. You don’t have to say anything either. Just know that I’m here for you if you need anything… always!”

You look at Ellie sweetly. Ellie smiled back and just kept holding your hand as she now wanted to cuddle with you a bit. Ellie wanted to sit you on her lap. “Come on… let’s cuddle a little bit.” Ellie said while pointing towards her lap in a sweet way.

You sat closer to Ellie as she then gently pulled you onto her lap. Ellie was starting to gently rub your back. She whispered to you. “I’m glad I can finally cuddle you and hold you this close… I’ve wanted to do this for so long…”

You melted into the cuddle not really believing this was happening right now. Ellie continued to cuddle with you as she felt pretty happy. “Y/N…. Can I say something?”

“What is it?”

“… I’ve always wanted to cuddle with you and just wanted to be close to you forever… I even imagined things like this but always thought it would never happen. And now that it’s actually happening … I can’t believe it. I’m just so happy right now.” Ellie’s face had the biggest smile ever. Ellie looked at you again while still cuddling. Ellie wanted to say more stuff but didn’t want it to be too much for you.

You blushed more and your heart was beating really fast. Ellie could tell that you were feeling nervous and shy at this moment. She decided to whisper something so she put her lips very close to your ear and just whispered. “You’re honestly the most beautiful person I’ve ever met.” Ellie then slowly kissed you on the neck. Ellie felt her heart racing too.

You almost jumped as Ellie kissed your neck. Ellie stopped for a moment and looked at you. Ellie pulled you towards her and started to kiss you on the lips. She was starting to feel a bit light headed. You were surprised by the kiss at first. After a few seconds you kissed Ellie back. But you were really nervous though.

Ellie kept kissing you as she wanted to express all her feelings. Ellie just felt so overwhelmed by the feelings right now and she didn’t wanna hide it from you anymore. Ellie’s face was now completely red due to the amount of blushing. She loved every moment of this kiss.

You broke the kiss. She was a bit flustered. “Ellie... I...”

“What is it?” Ellie looked really surprised to hear you say “Ellie…” like you just had to say something. Ellie was just a bit confused. Ellie now thought of another thing to say.“Y/N… that was the best kiss ever.” Ellie said this in a really soft and romantic tone.

Your heart felt like it was going to jump right out of your chest as Ellie said that. Ellie then got closer and gently started to kiss you again. Ellie’s face was still red. She just wanted to keep expressing how she felt and showing you how much she loved you.

“Ellie.... I’m... I think I’m not ready for more yet... this is amazing, don’t get me wrong, but I’ve never done this before...”

Ellie was pretty surprised when you said this as she thought of how she was the one who wanted to keep doing it. “Oh… well it’s fine… you don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to do alright?” Ellie tried to sound as sweet and gentle with her tone as possible.

You went back to hugging Ellie. She hugged you back as tightly as possible. Ellie’s face was still red as she hugged you. Ellie just kept her lips near your ear as she whispered. “Thank you… thank you so much…” Ellie continued to hug you as she was still very happy.

“Ells I think maybe we should go to sleep. It's late.”

Ellie thought for a second, she didn’t wanna leave you yet. “You’re right… but can I at least lay my head on your shoulder for the night? Can I please stay with you a bit more?” Ellie was now trying to convince you to let her stay with her a little longer.

“Okay. “ You agreed. You both laid in your bed and Ellie put her head on your shoulder before going to sleep. Ellie was feeling happy but also kinda tired at the same time. She was now falling asleep with a smile on her face from what just happened a little while ago. 

You fell asleep feeling happy. You couldn’t believe Ellie liked you. Ellie couldn’t stop smiling as she was laying down with you. Ellie was starting to think if she should kiss you again but decided not to since it was late. She looked up at the ceiling and just started to slowly drift into a deep sleep.

As the morning came Ellie slowly opened her eyes. Ellie then realized she was in your bed. Ellie was pretty surprised as she sat up while covering herself with the sheets. She looked over at you to see if she was awake yet or not. You were still asleep. Ellie then decided to lie back down on your shoulder and just watched you as you slept. Ellie was really curious to know what you were thinking about. You seemed like you were dreaming about something.

Ellie continued to watch you as you slept trying to get any idea of what was happening in your dream. She was just very curious but also didn’t want to wake you up just yet. Ellie was really just hoping you were having a good dream at least.

Your breaths start getting heavier. Ellie noticed then took a deep breath before saying something. “Hey there… Are you starting to wake up?” Ellie wanted to know if you were finally waking up. Ellie was really hoping you were still having a good dream though. You make an uncomfortable face while still asleep.

Ellie noticed you making some kind of face. Ellie then gently shook your shoulder to see if you would fully wake up. Ellie didn’t want you to have a bad dream or be uncomfortable. You were having a nightmare. Ellie didn’t wanna have you wake up and remember this nightmare. Ellie kissed you on the cheek. Ellie looked for your reaction to the kiss, she hoped this could cheer you up. You opened her eyes and were surprised and almost scared to see Ellie looking at you since you normally sleep alone. Ellie quickly gave a reassuring smile as she noticed you woke up and looked at her. “Hey… I noticed that you weren’t having such a good dream. It’s okay… you’re awake now. You don’t have to be worried when I’m around you alright.” Ellie  smiled again before kissing your cheek. Ellie wanted to cheer you up as soon as possible.

You eventually calmed down. “Good morning, Ellie.”

Ellie then started to feel a bit awkward since she wasn’t sure what to say now after you spoke to her.

“Good morning… Are you feeling alright now?” Ellie still wanted you to feel okay. 

“Yeah, I’m fine, you?”

Ellie felt pretty happy to hear that you were now feeling okay. “Yeah, I’m feeling alright… I was a bit worried after I noticed that you were having a nightmare.” Ellie waited for your response again after she said that. She wanted to know if you were alright now or not.

You stop for a moment remembering your nightmare, You didn’t really want to talk about it. “I’m okay.”  You held Ellie’s hand. Ellie noticed that you didn’t want to talk about your nightmare. Ellie smiled at you as she held your hand.

“Well… I’ll meet you in the kitchen in a bit. Sound, okay? I’m gonna make something for both of us.” Ellie opened the door of your bedroom and walked out while blushing.

“Okay, I’ll meet you there in a few moments.” Ellie then closed the door and walked off to the kitchen to get things ready for you and her. She wanted to make a big breakfast in order to cheer you up. Ellie started to make the breakfast as she wanted things to be perfect.

You went to the bathroom and washed your face. Ellie was still in the kitchen, almost done. Ellie put the last thing in and set it down on the table. Ellie was pretty proud of what she made for you. Ellie hoped that you would like what she made. She walked into the living room.  “Hey, breakfast is ready now. Do you wanna join me?”

“I’ll be there in a minute!” You said finishing your business in the bathroom.

Ellie was pretty happy to hear that you would be joining her for breakfast. She walked up to the table and sat down just waiting for you. Ellie then grabbed a fork and started to eat some of her own breakfast. You joined Ellie, happy that she made breakfast for the two of you.

Ellie smiled at you and invited her to sit next to her. Ellie wanted to know what you thought about the food. “Y/N, try my food… I made this just for you. See if you like it.”

Ellie was a bit excited to hear your response. “It’s really good Ellie, thank you.”

Ellie smiled at you and felt happy that you liked the food. Ellie then kept eating her own food, she just liked having you so close to her. Ellie then finished eating and looked at you to see if she was done too. Ellie was just feeling happy now and a bit tired too. “I’ll be in my room now… you can find me there whenever you need me, okay?”

“Okay Ells.” Ellie then got up and walked away from the table. She was going back to her own room while trying to hold back on blushing. Ellie sat down on her bed and just kept thinking about you and what happened last night between you. Ellie was tired and decided to go to sleep. 

You clean up the table and head to her own bedroom. Ellie continued to sleep as she was feeling really tired. Ellie was now dreaming about you and was smiling a lot in her dream. She felt really happy and at peace right now in her dream.

You sat in your bed thinking about last night’s events. You were happy but conflicted at the same time. How could Ellie change so much in just a couple of days? She used to act like she hated you before every time they interacted. She still remembers all the nasty arguments they’ve had.

Ellie was sleeping deeply and  was still dreaming about you and was holding her hands while they slept. Ellie felt a lot of things for you and just wanted to be with you for the rest of her life. Ellie still kept holding onto you  in her dream. She would never let you go.

You decided to go and talk to Dina, your mutual friend. Maybe she could give some advice. You headed to Dina’s house and knocked on the door. You were thinking of what you should even say to Dina right now. You were just feeling a bit anxious and didn’t know how you could explain her situation. You waited for Dina to come to the door. “Hi Dina! Can I come in? I need some advice on something.” Dina let you come inside and closed the door behind you. Dina looked at you and was curious to see what she needed when it came to advice.. “Okay, what do you need advice on?”

“You know me and Ellie got assigned as roommates, right?”

Dina nodded as she started to speak. “Yes, of course I remember. You 2 were assigned as roommates.” Dina just kept a steady look at you.

“You know how me and her always break into fights and arguments all the time…” Dina nodded once again as she kept listening to what you were saying. Dina had a feeling she knew where this was leading to but was curious to hear you speak anyway.

“Ellie kissed me last night, Dina. I don’t know how to feel…”

Dina started to look confused as she realized that this was what this was about. “Wait… what? Ellie kissed you?” Dina was a bit surprised when she heard this because she thought Ellie hated you. Dina kept listening to you while trying to make sense of everything.

“Yeah, and she said she had a crush on me for the longest time and I can’t understand why she was always so mean to me” Dina was just really confused as to what was going on. “Wait… so Ellie has liked you for a while now?” Dina was just trying to get a better understanding of what the whole situation was like between Ellie and you.

“That’s what she told me. And you know I like girls but I’ve never been with one and don’t want this to end badly.” Dina was really listening to what you were telling her and was a bit confused on why Ellie was actually mean to you.

“Huh… So Ellie liked you for a while now and has kept it a secret?” Dina then smiled when you mentioned that you liked girls. “So… you like Ellie too then?”

“I think so, I don’t know. She seems like a whole different person right now.”

Dina then started to speak again to you. “Yeah, that is strange… Ellie didn’t really act like she liked you at all. Especially since she’s always been so mean to you. But… does that mean you want to be with her then?”

“That’s why I’m here, do you think this is a good idea?”

Dina thought about this question for a bit before she spoke. “If I’m being honest with you… I do think it sounds like a pretty good idea… just give it a try and see what happens. Just don’t try to force anything… be yourself and just think about what makes you comfortable with each other okay?” Dina just wanted you to listen to her words and know that she was always there for you.

“Thanks Dina. “ Dina invited you to her party later that day. “No problem, honey… oh, and I’m also planning on throwing a party in a couple of hours.” Dina then looked at you and waited for your response. Dina wanted to make sure you were fine with this. “You can come if you want… it’s just gonna be a few people.”

“That sounds good, I’ll see if Ellie wants to come too. “

You hug Dina. Dina hugged you back. “Alright, just see if you can bring Ellie too.” Dina then let go of you as she was still smiling. “See you later then Dins, bye! Thank you for the advice!” Dina smiled again and nodded. “No problem… talk to you later honey!” Dina then went back to her own apartment and she closed the door behind her.

You were feeling better after the talk she had with Dina about you and Ellie and were now just thinking about what Ellie really feels. You then shook your head and tried to not think about that any longer. You then started to think about what to do with the rest of her day. You get home and go to your bedroom to pick her outfit for the party.

Ellie was still feeling a bit awkward about breakfast. Ellie then sat on her bed and started to get dressed. She thought for a moment about what outfit to choose for the day. Ellie eventually decided to put on her favorite flannel and her trusty black converse. 

“Hey Ellie! Dina invited us for a party at her house in a bit. You want to come too?”

Ellie noticed that you were done putting your outfit on. “Hey, Y/N, yeah, sounds fun.” A few minutes pass and Ellie is nervous.  “Hey, are you ready to go? The party should be starting soon.”

“Almost ready!”

Ellie smiled at you and spoke. “Okay, then we ought to get going. The party isn’t that far away and I think it’s about to start.” Ellie started to walk towards the front door while also expecting you to follow her.

Ellie looks at you in your favorite dress all dolled up. Ellie then smiled and was really proud of the dress you chose. Ellie then went over to you and gently put her hand on your shoulder. “You look really beautiful… I really love that dress. It suits you really well.”

Ellie then leaned in and kissed your cheek. It was like Ellie couldn’t resist flirting with you. She felt a bit flustered around you after you kissed her last night.

“Thanks Ellie, you look nice too! Let’s go then.”

Ellie smiled again while still blushing a bit. Ellie took your hand gently and walked out of the door with you. Ellie felt a bit happy now while also feeling a bit nervous about the party. No one knew you were okay together. Everyone still thinks you two hate each other. Except Dina but Ellie doesn’t know that yet. Ellie took your hand gently and walked out of the door. Ellie felt a bit happy while also feeling nervous about what you would do while you were at the party. Ellie doesn’t know you told Dina about your kissing yesterday. Ellie continued to walk through the city streets with you right next to her.

“So, this party is just gonna be a really small event… Dina invited me earlier today to it.” You said. Ellie smiled and kept holding your hand.

“It’s gonna be fun to spend some time with friends and to relax before the day ends.”

“Yeah Ells, it’s gonna be fun, I think Jesse is going too.”

Ellie smiled again and was happy to hear that her friend Jesse was also going to be at the party. Ellie then continued to hold your hand. “Yeah, it’s gonna be fun! And it’ll be nice to see him.”

You arrive at Dina’s house. You both knocked on Dina’s door so she would let you in. After a few moments, Dina opened up the door. Dina smiled when she saw Ellie and you there. “Ellie! Y/N! You two are finally here… the party is about to start!” Dina invited both of you into her apartment. “Hi Dins! you look amazing!” You keep talking to Dina. 

Ellie doesn’t feel ready for everyone to know about you two and goes to sit in the living room. Dina smiled and nodded when she saw Ellie in the living room. Ellie sat down on a sofa and started to feel tense. Ellie was worried that you would tell everyone about your situation soon. Ellie couldn’t stop thinking about this and just kept trying to relax herself.

You and Dina started talking and Ellie couldn’t resist listening. Ellie kept listening in on what You and Dina were talking about. Ellie noticed that you were talking about how things between you and Ellie went over the past few days. Ellie felt worried as well because she didn’t want Dina telling anyone what they had just done the night before. Ellie felt a bit nervous while still keeping an ear on the conversation.

You notice Ellie looking at you. Ellie then blushed since she knew you were watching her. She then turned away while trying to stay quiet on the sofa. The music started playing as Jesse arrived with the drinks. Dina looked over at Jesse as he arrived. Ellie started to feel worried as well as she saw Jesse walk over to them.

“Hey!” Ellie greeted Jesse. “Missed you man!” Jesse smiled at Ellie as he put down the bottles he was carrying. “Hey Ellie! Nice to see you again, how’ve you been?” Jesse then looked over at you. “Come and take a drink everyone! “ Jesse said loudly. Dina and Ellie both decided to get drinks and walked over to Jesse. Ellie took a drink while she spoke. “Thanks Jesse, and I’ve been doing alright. How about you?” Ellie was smiling while she spoke and felt a bit better after having her first drink of the night. Ellie smiled a bit more as she started to talk while she was drinking. “It’s so nice to relax… I needed this. Thanks Jesse.” Ellie drank a bit more she kept smiling now.

*An hour passes*

Ellie was feeling more relaxed because she was drunk right now. Ellie was dancing to some of the music and was having fun while also watching you and Dina dance together.

Ellie spoke to Jesse. “Jesse… you know… this party is a lot of fun right? I haven’t felt this relaxed since… well... since now.”

Ellie felt like she was in her own world. She starts to forget about the past few days due to the drinking and starts dancing with another girl. Ellie was having so much fun dancing with the girl that she wasn’t thinking about what had happened the other days. Dina and you were dancing with each other and were having a good time as well. You looked at Ellie and saw she was dancing with another girl. You felt nauseous.

Ellie kept dancing with the girl who was just enjoying herself as well. Ellie was so drunk that she didn’t even notice that you were seeing her dance with the other girl. She just kept dancing with her and having a great time. Ellie then spoke to the girl she was dancing with. “Hey! You know… you’re a really good dancer…” Ellie then laughed a bit and kept dancing. They were touching bodies and almost kissing her. Ellie kept dancing with the girl and was smiling so much. She felt so free doing this right now. Ellie just kept dancing and drinking. Ellie laughed a little bit when the girl kissed her. It’s like Ellie was drunk to the point where she was forgetting that you were even there.

You ask Dina who the girl is. Dina spoke as she was dancing with you. “Oh, I only know her first name… which is Jenny. She actually works with me and asked me if she could tag along with this party.” Dina was now just keeping an eye on Ellie while dancing “I think I know her? Wasn’t Ellie in love with her at some point?” Dina then looked at you and spoke. “I’m not sure if Ellie was in love with her because Ellie never told me.” Dina then kept dancing with you as she saw Ellie drinking some more.

“Come honey, no need for you to be watching this, I’ll go give Ellie a talking.” Dina said. “I’ll be right back.”

Dina left you in the kitchen and went over to talk to Ellie. Ellie was drunk and didn’t seem to care that this was happening. The girls kept dancing while they were kissing. Ellie looked happy now as she was kissing Jenny. Dina pulled Ellie out of there and far away from the girl.  "Are you stupid or just plain mean?" Dina asked Ellie. She was still drunk and didn’t respond to Dina immediately. Ellie thought back to what she just did and couldn’t believe she did that to you.

“I-I… I don't even know what came over me… I was just thinking about Y/N and then this girl just came up and-“ Ellie started to feel a bit upset as she was remembering what she just did.

“That's no excuse!” Dina said. A few of the other people at the party heard Dina and Ellie arguing. “Dina… I’m really sorry… I-I didn’t mean for it to happen… I should’ve known better. I should’ve just controlled my feelings better…” Ellie was trying to fight back the tears that were starting to roll down her cheeks. Ellie felt so mad at herself for doing what she did. “You better tell Y/N that then!” Dina almost shouted at Ellie. Ellie then sniffled a bit and wiped her eyes as she started to calm herself down. “Yeah… I need to talk to her…” Ellie was now ready to set everything straight with you.

You had left Dina’s house in a hurry, to get away from Ellie, crying. Ellie saw you leave. She started to chase after you. Ellie didn’t want you to be crying. She managed to catch up. “Y/N, wait… let me explain… I’m really-“

Before Ellie could even finish her sentence, you turned and started to walk away again.

You stop in her tracks and look at Ellie.  "I can’t believe you just did that." You were mad and hurt.  Ellie then slowly stopped as she saw you turn to look at her. Ellie wiped her eyes and spoke. “Y/N… I was drunk and wasn’t thinking straight… I’m so sorry… I shouldn’t have even danced with that girl and… and I shouldn’t have kissed her.” Ellie then looked away as she felt ashamed for what she just did.

“Am I just a toy to you?  Forget it… I’m going home, just leave me alone.”

“Y/N, wait!” Ellie then tried to keep you from leaving by stepping right in front of her. “No… you’re not a toy to me… Y/N please… I… just listen to me for a moment…” Ellie then started to explain everything while she was still crying. “You… you have to believe me… I-I love you… I just couldn’t control my feelings anymore… and… I didn’t want to lie about them to you anymore…”

“Why would you do a thing like that in front of me!?” You shouted. Ellie kept crying and spoke. “I don’t know… I still don’t know why I did it… I-I just felt like it was gonna be the right choice at the time… but… you’re right… I shouldn’t have done it. I-I never wanted to hurt you like this.” Ellie started to feel really guilty for hurting you.

“You should have thought about that before!” You said, angry. Ellie kept wiping her eyes. “Oh god… I’m so stupid… I’m really really stupid, Y/N… I-I don’t deserve someone like you after everything I just did to you.” Ellie just kept feeling guilty. 

“And I know you used to like you or maybe you still do, just stay away from me and go to her since you are so eager.” You started crying.

“I-I don’t like her… anymore that is… I… I only like you now Y/N… please… just give me a chance to… to fix all this… please… I-I love you… I don’t want to hurt you and… and I don’t want to lose you…” Ellie kept trying to reason with you just to get one last chance to make everything right with her. You walk home.

“Y/N, please wait… please… I still love you… Don’t leave me like this…” Ellie was still trying to get a last chance to fix all of this…  Ellie was still holding out on the hope that things could be better between You two.

“And I can't believe I have to live in the same house as you, just do what you want but don’t bother me.” You said sadly. Ellie got the feeling you didn’t want to talk to her. She started to let you leave so that you could just have some space. Ellie was still hurt and crying a bit. She felt like she had lost you after this.

You get home and go directly to your room.

Ellie just stayed outside the house for a few more minutes as she kept wiping away her tears. She then finally went back inside to her room. Ellie just laid on her bed and kept crying. Ellie couldn’t believe how things turned out in the end… She lost you because of her foolish decision. She gets up from bed and walks to your door. Ellie tries to talk to you and knocks at your bedroom door. She kept knocking gently. Ellie  waited a few moments before knocking again. She was trying her best to be gentle and didn’t want to upset you even more. “Y/N? I-it’s me… Ellie… I-if you wanna… c-can I come in please?” Ellie opened the door cautiously then walked into your room and shut the door behind her. Ellie turned to face you. “I-I… I just wanted to say one more thing to you now that I’m sober… I-if you’ll listen to me, I mean…”

“What do you want?” You ask crying.

“I… I just wanted to say sorry… and… I hope you can forgive me for what just happened…” Ellie wiped her eyes and didn’t know what to do now. She was scared that you wouldn’t accept her apology and that Ellie had permanently ruined the relationship between you.

“I need time to think.” You say in a low and sad tone.

“T-take all the time you need…” Ellie just continued to stand in your room. She didn’t know what else to say or do right now. All Ellie wanted was to fix everything between her and you. Ellie was scared that if she were to leave the room right now that you wouldn’t forgive her. Your face was red from crying, and you did not look at Ellie.

Ellie felt really bad about seeing you like that and she wasn’t sure if she did the right thing by trying to talk to you. Ellie’s face was also a bit red from crying earlier and she didn’t want you to see her like that. Ellie tried to look everywhere but you. “Y/N? I… I-I’m really sorry… I- I… I understand if you don’t want to talk to me anymore after what just happened…”

“Why did you do it?” You ask sadly. Ellie felt like crying but then started to explain to you again. “Like I said… I-I can’t control my feelings… I just thought that dancing with her and… and-“ Ellie then just remained silent for a few seconds as she didn’t want to say more. 

“and?” You ask sadly.

Ellie then looked back at you. “And… I don’t know… I-I thought doing that would be alright…” Ellie started to feel tired and was just confused and didn’t know what her feelings meant anymore. She sighed. “Y/N… I… don’t know why I did all of this now that I’m more sober. I-I just want everything to be okay again…”

“Do you like her?” You asked quietly. Ellie just remained silent for a few moments as she was thinking about it. “No… I don’t like Jenny… I only like you now.” Ellie was starting to calm down.

“Why did you kiss her?” You were really hurt by Ellie's actions. Ellie felt scared for a moment then took a deep breath before she spoke. “I was drunk… and I didn’t mean for it to happen… I should’ve known better though… I-I just thought that would’ve been what I should do then… I was being stupid…” Ellie just didn’t want you to hate her. Ellie felt bad for how dumb she was just a few moments ago.

“Why did you treat me so badly before all this?” You ask her, tears falling down your face.

Ellie looked down at the ground. “I-I… I just- I just thought I should ignore that I liked you… I didn’t want to ruin things between us when I told you how I felt… b-but…” Ellie was starting to feel more of her emotions come back. Ellie started to feel sad. “I just made it worse in the end… I should’ve just told you the truth right away…” Ellie was really starting to worry. She was scared that she might’ve ruined the relationship between her and you. She went back to sitting down on your bed, she was too tired to stand now. “Y/N? …Please let me make this up to you…”

“And how do you plan on doing that?” You say angry.  Ellie started to think for a moment. She didn’t know how she was gonna make up for what she just did. She just kept sitting there not saying anything for a long time. Ellie was scared and didn’t know what to do,  then looked up at you as if she was about to say something. She wanted to make things right with you but she didn’t know how to do it.

You wipe your tears away. “Y/N?” Ellie spoke again “I know I can’t make things up to you right now but… I want you to know that I don’t like Jenny… I only like you… ok?” Ellie felt bad that you were still crying. Ellie just wanted to do something to make you happy again. You looked at Ellie very seriously.  Ellie was looking back at you but she felt a bit scared. She didn’t want to say anything to offend you anymore but she also wanted to help make you feel better. “Y/N? … I-I …” Ellie seemed to have an idea to make you feel better again. You continued looking, waiting for her to talk. Ellie stood up and walked towards you. She was going to take a risk right now and she was a bit nervous.

“Y/N? … Can I kiss you?” Ellie was waiting for your answer on this… she didn’t know if you would allow her to kiss her because of everything that just happened.

You looked sad and surprised at Ellies words? Ellie felt afraid as she kept waiting for you to respond. Ellie could feel her heart beating in her chest as she thought this could ruin things more than if she hadn’t just asked you. She couldn’t bear to mess up with you again. She started to get a feeling in her gut that you were gonna say no to her. “Please? … I-I need this right now… I-I hope you still feel the same way about me… please…”

You looked up at Ellie, still very sad. Ellie was  really close to you and she could feel her heart beating in her chest. Ellie was afraid but she also felt like she had to make her first move now because she didn’t want to ruin what was left with you. Then she leaned in and went in for the kiss. Ellie felt her lips touch yours and she felt so relieved that you let her kiss you.

You kissed Ellie back, still crying. Ellie started to kiss harder, she got the feeling that you were crying but she couldn’t tell if it was because you were still hurt or just happy. She kept kissing you and was beginning to hold you closer. Ellie kept feeling like she needed to hold onto everything she could with you or else she’d lose her forever.

You melted into the kiss and put her arms around Ellie. Ellie then kept kissing you for a while. She felt so happy. Ellie started to hug you tighter and she didn’t want this to end anytime soon.

Ellie then decided to sit down on the bed with you and she kept kissing you om. You let Ellie take the lead since she's done this before and you haven't. Ellie kept kissing you and the more she kissed her the happier she felt. Ellie felt so lucky that you were giving her another chance. Then Ellie started to kiss you on the neck a little bit and started to take things a little further… 

“Ellie.., i... I've never done this before.”

Ellie felt a bit confused. “What- wait… what… d-did you mean that… Y/N?” Ellie thought she just heard it wrong. Ellie was wondering if you meant she never kissed anyone before? Or if that meant something else?

“I never... had…” You were embarrassed to say the word.” I’ve never had sex.... “ You said this very very quietly .” I’m still a virgin.....”

Ellie’s face got red as she thought she heard you right. “W-wait… really?… I-I… you…”

Ellie was so in love right now. She kissed you back harder and for a much longer time. She pulled you close to her, Ellie just couldn’t stop kissing your lips. Ellie was starting to kiss you on the neck. She felt so happy, she was enjoying this way too much and she didn’t want to stop.

You let out tiny moans as you felt Ellie kiss her neck. Ellie then pulled you even closer towards her, pushing you up against her. Ellie started to kiss your lips again for a while. She put her hands on your cheeks, holding your face. Ellie felt like doing this forever but… she knew she couldn’t, she didn’t want to get too into it.

Ellie then pulled back from the kiss and was breathing heavily. Ellie looked at you as you looked at Ellie wondering why she stopped. Ellie then started to say something.

“Y/N… I… I wanna do something with you now… are you ready for it?” Ellie was nervous to say those words but she just wanted to make you happy. You nodded in agreement and kissed Ellie again. Ellie then smiled. She felt so happy. Ellie was so ready… Ellie then put you on the bed. You two felt really close to each other. Ellie started to kiss you on the lips again and put her hands all over you. It was getting passionate and exciting.

You tried taking Ellie’s shirt off, she then helped you  by taking her own shirt off. You looked at Ellie’s body amazed by how much more attractive she was without clothes on. Ellie couldn’t say anything right now… then started to kiss you again. On your neck and more all over her body. Ellie then went back to kissing your mouth. 

You were starting to feel her core heating up under your dress. Ellie kept on kissing you all over your body. Ellie wasn’t planning on stopping anytime soon. She was beginning to feel more and more excited. Ellie went back to your mouth and started to kiss you passionately again.  Ellie then kissed your legs and up your thighs. Ellie kept on kissing you, going higher. Ellie felt like she was about to… do the unthinkable.

Ellie was now taking off your dress slowly. You felt shivers and Ellie noticed. She then started taking your dress off quicker. Ellie notices the wet patch on your underwear. Ellie suddenly looked away. She felt embarrassed and didn’t want to embarrass you. You blushed a bit.

Ellie could see you were embarrassed. Ellie started to feel ashamed. Ellie could feel her face get hot. Ellie felt like she needed to explain herself. “Y/N… I-I’m so sorry… I-I… I wasn’t trying to look… I… I just… I guess I got a bit carried away… please don’t think I’m weird… I…”

“No, it’s okay Ellie.” Ellie felt a bit relieved. “Y/N… d-do you forgive me?” Ellie felt like she had to know if you were still okay with her. You were a bit surprised by Ellie’s words. “I’m still hurt Ellie, but I do forgive you.” Ellie was still feeling ashamed but… she was at least relieved that you weren't mad at her anymore. “Y/N… w-we’ll… I… I… I wanna make you happy again…” Ellie was feeling a bit nervous again. You kissed Ellie as to calm her down

Ellie wasn’t expecting that. Ellie felt calmer as you kissed her again to help her feel better. Ellie was slowly forgetting about what she did. Ellie felt a bit better after you kissed her again and pulled you closer to her. She was enjoying this with you, she felt so loved again. You put your hand on Ellie’s abbs. Ellie looked down at your hand on her skin. She then put her hands on your face again.

Ellie was feeling so happy. Ellie was kissing you over and over all over her body. She was starting to get more excited. You were loving this. Ellie kept on kissing you as if she couldn’t stop anymore. Ellie was feeling so excited and you were enjoying it too. Ellie was just too happy to stop doing this.

Your dress was pulled up and Ellie could see your underwear. Ellie couldn’t believe what she was doing. “Y/N, I… um…”

Ellie was feeling a bit scared. She pulled herself away from you. Ellie was feeling worried that she was taking things further than you wanted to go.

“What’s wrong? “ You got a bit embarrassed and covered herself with the dress's skirt.

Ellie felt embarrassed as well. “W-oh nothing… s-sorry Y/N… I was just going a bit too fast, I…” Ellie was really nervous. She felt like she went too far for you to handle. Ellie didn’t know what was going to happen now.

“I was liking it...”

Ellie felt a bit surprised. “Y/N… w-wait… you… you did like what I was doing…?”

“Yes…” You blushed.

Ellie was blushing too. Ellie didn’t realize you liked what she was doing to you. “Y/N… can I keep going?” You nodded, eager to kiss Ellie again.

Ellie then smiled and got closer to you. She then started to kiss You again. Ellie’s kissing got more passionate as she kissed you more and more. Ellie felt like she couldn’t get enough of you…

You got on top of Ellie whilst kissing her. Ellie felt shocked as you got on top of her. Ellie couldn’t say anything, she just felt so excited. Ellie was starting to let her hands and her lips do as they pleased. Ellie enjoyed this moment and she couldn’t let it go. You looked into Ellie’s eyes to see if she was okay. Ellie nodded. Ellie felt like she couldn’t let this stop now. The two of you were kissing very passionately. Ellie was ready to take things even further.

Ellie put her hands on your legs and under your dress. Ellie was now thinking about what she was doing… She was trying to see if you were still okay with her but… it did seem like you wanted to continue. Ellie was  feeling like she was taking the lead with this. She continued touching your thighs. Ellie felt so happy … Ellie was really getting into this. She didn’t want to stop yet…

You kept kissing Ellie harder. Ellie was kissing back with a lot more passion than before. Ellie’s lips were all over yours. She was really starting to enjoy this, she was not planning on stopping yet. Ellie touches your underwear. She feels your wetness. You look at Ellie when she touches you. Ellie lays you on the bed and kisses you again. You felt Ellies hands on your thighs again and you were starting to get excited. Ellies smiled when she noticed how wet you were for her.

“Is this all for me?” Ellie asked, starting to feel cocky.  Ellie touches your pussy through your panties, “oh, someones really excited, hum…?”

You looked at Ellie as she touched you, you were really turned on right now, and wanted to do this with Ellie.

You kissed her as she continued to touch you. You started moaning. Ellie was happy to hear you moan for her. She started to kiss down your body and gave your tighs extra attention. You were very sensitive and felt every kiss Ellie left on your skin. You started to feel your core really getting hot as Ellie kissed your things and pushed your dress up. 

You look down at Ellie and Ellie looks up at You. “Are you sure you’re ready baby?” 

“Yes, I want to do this with you Ellie…” You said, Ellie took that yes and started to take off your panties. At this point they were soaked. You couldn't wait to feel Ellie.

Ellie looked at your pussy mesmerized. Ellie couldn't believe she made you this turned on. Ellie wanted to dive right in but remembered you had never done this before and wants it to be special for you. She started kissing up your thighs  and up to your beautiful pussy. She pressed a light kiss on your clit. You slightly jumped at the feeling. 

Ellie started licking your clit slowly to see how you would react. You start moaning in pleasure. She smirked and continued to massage your clit with her tongue. Then she put her hand on your thighs and guided them up to reach your core. Ellie felt your juices on her fingers and started to feel a patch forming on her own boxers. Ellie took her fingers to her mouth and sucked those lovely juices and moaned as she tasted them. You were moaning at Ellie’s skill. You started to feel a knot forming in your  belly. Ellie carefully and slowly inserted one of her fingers inside your tight hole. You moaned louder than before as you felt Ellie enter you. 

“You're so tight baby, damm…” Ellie started pumping her finger in and out slowly, as You started relaxing a bit. “You look so beautiful…. taking me so well…” Ellie smirked to herself proud of what she saw.

“fuck… that feels amazing ells…” You moaned ever more “please dont stop” Ellie starts going faster as she feels your hole is getting used to the intrusion. She is taking real good care of your clit at the same time.

You feel like you can't take much more as the feeling in your core is getting stronger. “Ellie… I'm getting close…” Ellie inserts a second finger inside and you gasp. She looks up to see you enjoying it. She started going faster and hitting your sensitive spongy spot. “Ellie… I think I'm…. I think I'm… going to cum….” Ellie continues at the same rhythm, increasing the speed slowly. “Cum for me baby, let me drink all that cum…”

You close your fists as you are about to cum. You feel the knot in your tummy coming undone. “Ellie, I'm cumming….”

“Yes baby, cum for me… '' Ellie is so excited to see you cum for the first time and feels so proud of herself for being the person that is making you feel this good. 

You start feeling a little overstimulated as your orgasm reaches its peak. “Ells… is too much...Ells too much…” You gently push Ellies head so she knows to stop now. Ellie sees you are getting overstimulated and starts slowing down sucking all of your juices at the same time. Ellie comes up to kiss you and you can taste yourself on Ellie’s tongue. Ellie takes her fingers out slowly and brings them to her mouth and tastes your juices one last time looking you directly in the eyes. 

You breathe heavily as you're coming down from your high, looking at Ellie sucking the fingers that just made you cum…

“Y/N, baby, you were amazing… did you feel good?” Ellie asked and kissed you lovingly. “Ellie I… That was the best thing I've ever fel…,” Your face is all red and she is breathing heavily, still a bit lost in lust. Ellie kisses your forehead and holds you in her arms. 

You never felt this good in your life, you feel like you are dreaming. You both lay back on the bed as Ellie stroked you gently. “ You did so good, baby. I'm so proud of you…”

You feel tired and close your eyes, whilst in Ellie’s embrace. Ellie just keeps holding you as you fall asleep in her arms. “Good night baby, sweet dreams..” You fall fast asleep after the storm of sensations you just felt. “Night Ellie”. Ellie stays with you all night, ending up falling asleep as well. Ellie feels so lucky having you in her arms. She doesn't want to let you go ever again.

In the morning, Ellie woke up and saw you still next to her in bed… Ellie was starting to feel happy that you were still there. “Hey… good morning Y/N…” Ellie had a smile on her face now.

“Morning, ells” You smiled. Ellie was still smiling.  “I just wanted to say thank you for staying with me last night… I just felt so… so happy with you…” Ellie wanted you to know how much she appreciated you. “Y/N… can… can we still do this again sometime…? If not… that’s perfectly…”  Ellie was starting to feel a bit awkward about it now. She didn’t wanna push her luck and you didn’t wanna try to get you to do something she wouldn’t wanna do. Ellie felt comfortable with you now and started to get overwhelmed by her feelings. Tears started forming in her eyes.

“We can talk about it, I wont judge anything.” You tell her, when you see her tears.

“Yes… I… I do wanna talk about it… I just… I don’t know if you wanna hear about it…” Ellie was feeling a bit nervous. “Maybe some other time… I’m sorry… I’m just still feeling nervous… I’m glad we had this conversation though… I’m just glad that we still feel comfortable with each other… ”

“It's okay Ellie. You are safe. I won't ever judge you.” You caress her cheek.

Ellie started to feel more relieved now. “Y/N… Thank you so much… I really needed to hear that…” “If I’m being honest I feel like… I feel like I am a… a disappointment to most of the people I’ve met… Ellie didn’t know if you wanted to know the details. Ellie was still feeling a bit nervous about talking about her past.

“Why would you say that?” You look at her still caressing her face.

“My past life was… hard to say the least. I never really had anyone to support me through my tough times. I didn’t have anyone to support me… I was on my own.” Ellie felt like she was beginning to open up to you a bit more.“Do you wanna hear the rest…?” You nodded reassuringly.

“My parents weren’t supportive of me… they told me they didn’t care about me… They even sometimes blamed me for the bad things that happened to them. They… they…” Ellie then got a bit emotional. Ellie didn’t wanna cry in front of You.

“I-I’m sorry… I just… I needed to talk about it… I needed to tell someone about it… it’s okay… you can ignore me if you want…”

“It's okay to cry, Ells, I'm here now.” You stroke her hair. Ellie then started to cry a bit.

“I just… I just wanted supportive parents… I wanted… I wanted to be loved…” Ellie wiped her tears. “Y/N… thank you… thank you so much for listening to all of this, I really needed it…” You hugged Ellie. She gave you a tight hug back. Ellie felt really happy to have someone supporting her now. “Y/N… I don’t know how to thank you now…” Ellie wanted to give you something back to show how much she cared.

You look at Ellies drawings. “Oh, my drawings? I mean… they’re okay, I guess… I mean, it’s not really that much… ” Ellie was trying to be humble. “So… Y/N… you saw my drawings… well… do you… do you wanna see more…? I mean… only if you want to… of course… I mean… that’s only if you actually like them… ”

“I love them Ells, you're really good!” Ellie was surprised to hear this. Ellie felt like you were lying but she couldn’t tell if she really was or not. “Y/N… are… are you actually being serious?… I mean… they’re not that impressive… ” Ellie was getting a bit embarrassed.

“Cross my heart and hope to die.” You said turning back to face her. Ellie then giggled a bit. “That’s so nice of you, Y/N, I… I never imagined that I’d have someone support my art like this, it’s just…” Ellie then started to tear up a little. “All my life people kept telling me that my art was bad but… you… you… actually like it…” Ellie was getting a bit emotional.

“Bad? They must be all blind.” You were a bit confused about how anyone could say that about her art.

“Yeah… I mean… maybe they were blind… maybe they just wanted to make me feel bad… I mean… my parents always told me that…It’s a good thing for me that I’m away from them now…” Ellie started to feel happy about not needing to see her parents again.

“Ellie, you can talk to me, I see you need it. You will feel better after.” You reassure her.

“Yeah, you’re right… you’re right, I do need it… I’m just… I’m just glad you’re here listening to my problems… this… this is what a friend does… I’m so… so happy that you’re this kind.” Ellie was feeling a lot better after saying that. “Y/N… I just… I just really appreciate you listening to me.” You smiled and held Ellies hand. Ellie’s cheeks began to get a red shade to them. Ellie then felt so happy to see your smile. “Y/N… can… can I just give you a hug now?” Ellie then waited to see if Y/N wanted a hug. “Of course, come here.” Ellie moved over to you and gave you a hug.

“Hey Y/N… can I… can I just ask you something…?”

“Yes honey?” You say as you break the hug.

“I… I feel… I feel like… maybe… just, maybe… could… could I maybe… maybe spend the rest of the day with you… I mean… if you want to… I don’t wanna push my luck and I can always leave your room… b… but… just… just let me know if you… if… you want me to stay…”

“I want to be here with you Ellie, there's nowhere i'd rather be.” Ellie got a bit embarrassed but then got a smile on her face. “Well then... if you're okay with it... I guess... I'm spending the day with you... I mean... I'd love to spend all my time with you... I mean... you're just one of the nicest people I've ever met... you're really… really awesome…” Ellie was now full of love for you. “If it makes you feel better I can share my past too.” Ellie then got a curious look on her face. Ellie wasn't sure about asking you but she wanted to know more about her. "You can tell me about your past if you like... You... you don't have to... but... I wanna be here for you... to... to support you... that's what friends do... right?"

“Exactly.”

"I like being your friend, Y/N...I just... I just wanted to ask... um... if... if you wanted to... um... do you wanna... do you... would you like to know more about my past?"

“I'm all ears.” You smile at Ellie. Ellie got a big smile on her face. Ellie felt like you were the best person she could talk to. “I… I had a really bad childhood… my parents… my parents…” Ellie’s voice was starting to shake a bit as she spoke.

“It's okay baby, you can tell me.”

“I… uh… my parents… t… they… they weren’t good people, Y/N…” Ellie was feeling a bit nervous talking about this. “They… they… they abused me… they… they physically abused me… they hit me and… they would tell me how awful I was… they… they… they kept telling me that I meant nothing to them… they… they…”

Ellie was starting to cry a bit now. You hold Ellies hand to help Ellie calm down a bit. She was holding back tears, but she still held onto your hand. Ellie was so happy to have you here for her. Ellie then spoke in a quiet voice. “I’m so… so sorry Y/N… I hope I haven’t just made you feel worse… I… I just… I’ve never really admitted… I’ve never really admitted these things before… “

“It's okay, you're okay now, they can't hurt you anymore.”

Ellie then wiped her eyes. “Y/N… thank you so, so much… I-I just, I… I really needed to tell someone about this… ” “I… I… I just… I just have… I have a lot of emotional wounds from the past… they… they can affect me a lot… and… and I just… I just don’t wanna scare you away… “ Ellie felt like she was being too blunt with you. “I’m sorry if I’m not making any sense right now…”

“You can't scare me away, I'm never leaving your side.”

“If that’s the case then… then I think I… I feel like I can tell you everything now… like I can just… I can feel safe with you… I… I… I trust you… ” Ellie was getting happier and happier. “You… you’re the first person in my life to make me feel loved and supported… I… I just… I just wanna know… know that we’re still gonna be friends… like… after this talk…”

“I'll always be your friend, I'll always be here.” Ellie smiled again. “Thank you so, so much, Y/N… you… you have no idea how much you’ve helped me now…”

You two spent the day talking to each other about your lives. About all the bad stuff and all the good stuff too. Your bond grew bigger by the hour. You lost track of time as you were too invested in each other's words. You felt happy and safe together.

“Y/N… could… I ask you one more favor…?”

“Yes baby?”

“Well, um… may… may I… c-can I stay here for the night… please… I… I… I really don’t wanna go back and sleep alone… ” Ellie was feeling a bit nervous asking you this. “I… I don’t wanna overstay my welcome and I’ll understand if you say no… I just… I wanna stay with you now… “

“We are roommates honey, I won't leave you alone, only if you want to.”

“Hey Y/N? Please, if you need me for anything, even if it’s during the night, please… just… just wake me up. I wanna be here for you … I wanna be as good a friend for you as you are for me… “

“I wont leave your side baby, I'm here.”

“Thank you… I’m gonna sleep well now… I… I can’t wait to see you again tomorrow… “ Ellie then shut her eyes and layed down on the bed.

*it's the next morning*

Ellie was sleeping in the exact same spot she was last night. She had slept like an angel. “He… hey… I’m up, I’m up… “ Ellie was still pretty drowsy though. Ellie sat upright. Ellie spoke and her hair was messed up and she had a tired look on her face. “Huh?… what time is it… is it time to wake up now?… “ Ellie’s voice was quiet as she spoke.

“You look so cute. It's 9:30 Ells.” You smiled.

“You… you think… you think I’m cute?…” Ellie then looked a bit surprised by this.

“I do” You smiled, taking Ellie's hair out of her face and giving her a kiss on the cheek. Ellie was blushing a lot. Ellie hugged you. “You… you… you make me feel so… so happy… I’m so thankful you’re not leaving my side…” Ellie’s blushing still hadn’t calmed down, she had a full on face flush at this point. Ellie didn’t wanna leave your side. You held Ellie and stroked her hair. Ellie smiled and had tears in her eyes. She spoke in a quiet voice. “I-I… I… I never realized how… how much I needed affection in my life… I… I’m just glad I can get all this now… “

“Why did you wanna be roommates with me… why… Why do you want to be so close to me?… ”  Ellie wanted to know these things.

“We got assigned together and i didnt want to piss Maria off, so I did not protest. I'm glad you stayed,” Ellie felt her face turn red again. “… but… you like being roommates with me though, right?”

“Yes honey.”

“Y/N… I… I really wanna kiss you… C-Can I?…” You looked Ellie in the eyes and nodded. She had a big smile on her face. Ellie then got closer to you and kissed your lips “I… I wanted that for so… so long… “Ellie still had a big smile on her face. Your breath got faster as Ellie got closer.

Ellie was feeling her heart beat a lot faster now. Ellie then got even closer to you. You kiss Ellie softly.

Ellie then started to kiss back. The kiss between you lasted for a few seconds. Ellie felt so happy, she then broke the kiss.“Y/N… thank you… I… I love… I like you so much… “I like you too, Ells.” You blush. Ellie then looked at you again. She just smiled and started to kiss Your neck. Ellie  spoke between her kisses.“Y/N… you… you look so beautiful… so… so pretty… “Ellie started to keep kissing Your neck. You shiverd. Ellie felt like you liked it so she kept kissing your neck for a few more seconds.

“Mmm… you… you feel so good… you… you smell good… “Ellie looked into your eyes.“Y/N… can you… can you do something for me… can you…can you kiss me… please?… “ You were nervous because of the previous night but still kissed Ellie. Ellie was blushing a lot. she kissed back. She didn’t wanna stop though. Ellie kept kissing you for several minutes. Ellie had butterflies in her stomach.“if you don’t mind… I… I wanna do more… Y/N… I… I… am just… just so in love with you… I… I hope I don’t make you uncomfortable saying that but… I need to tell you how I feel… “ You blushed more and kissed Ellie again more passionately. Ellie let herself get lost in a love she couldn’t believe she actually felt. Ellie was in a euphoric state right now all because of you and she couldn’t be happier about that.

I hope you liked this. I know I'm not very good at writing. This Was a lot of fun! Let me know what you thought. Comments and reblogs are always welcome! Part 2?

[writebackatya]

McDuck Family Members Most Likely to Start Sh*t at Thanksgiving Dinner

Ah Thanksgiving. The holiday celebrated on the 4th Thursday of November (in America that is), one with food, family, and celebrating what we’re thankful for! (Wanna feel bad? Learn about the holiday’s origins!)

And no family is quite as big as the found family from DuckTales; so arguments are bound to happen at a dinner table filled with so many zany characters with interesting pasts and quirks. Let’s honor those who would throw the first punch at a family dinner, shall we?

Bentina Beakley

I wanna cut Beakley some slack. She most likely had a long day before dinner even started what with all the preparations she did for dinner. Not just cooking for 20+ family members plus other side/recurring characters but also the cleaning and presentation

But let’s face it. This woman can be so condescending at times. And judgmental. You just know if someone is showing up to dinner wearing jeans and sweater she’d have something to say about it. And she strikes me as someone who would slam the dishes while cleaning them only for someone to say, “Hey Beakley do you need help with the dishes?” and then she’d be like “No. It’s fine. I got them”

But it’s not fine. Go help her with the dishes. She deserves a break

Dewey Duck

When I was first thinking about this list I originally thought “No way any of the triplets would start anything on Thanksgiving” Huey is a good boy and Louie would definitely take it easy on a day where you’re legally allowed to sit around, be lazy, and eat food. But then I remembered Dewey and how much of a diva he can be

We know Dewey is an entertainer and with everyone coming to dinner, he has a huge “captive” audience that he can perform for. Whether it be an original Thanksgiving song, a one man Dewey show about the first Thanksgiving, a sonnet about a bonnet, or a very special Thanksgiving episode of Dewey Dew-Night; that kid will want all the attention in him. And the very second the spotlight is taken off, oh boy…

Gladstone Gander

Look at this prick. Don’t you wanna slap his face!?!Anyway I love Gladstone Gander, but he’s the kind of family member that just would go on and on about himself and bring every conversation back to him again and how great his life is

That’s great Gladstone. Happy for you, the rest of us have to pay for our sushi but cool. Glad your good luck is really paying off, jerk

But honestly. It’s his tone. It’s the kind of tone that gives off that he knows he’s starting shit but won’t admit it

Goldie O’Gilt

I mean, it’s Goldie. What else can I say?

Gandra Dee

Oh man. There’s so many different ways controversy would start with this morally gray ex-FOWL agent and I’m here for it. Let’s face it, out of all the characters present, Gandra Dee would most likely be the one to bring up the holiday’s horrible origins. If anyone is making it their duty to make a rich white family uncomfortable on Thanksgiving, it’s Gandra Dee

She’d get political and even directly ask Scrooge who exactly he voted for in the past two Presidential elections (he claims to be progressive, but he’s still the richest duck in the world. Just how many tax cuts is this man getting to keep that status?)

Oh and what about the treatment of her overwork and underpaid boyfriend? Why is he still working in the bathroom?

Oddly enough, I can see her and Scrooge bonding over a mutual disdain for Gladstone Gander. What a prick

Kit Cloudkicker

It’s not that exactly what Kit does that’ll start a fight, but what he doesn’t do.

Kit is the kinda guy that was supposed to bring a dessert but totally forgot to pick something up from the bakery so instead he’s stopping at the gas station on the way to dinner to pick up some Twinkies

Kit is the kinda guy that would “take a walk” before dinner and not do anything to hide the scent and now all the kids are wondering how a skunk got inside

Gyro Gearloose

It’s Gyro. Something is bound to piss him off at some point

Doofus Drake

I am so tired of the fandom not including Doofus in this found family (Louie and him made up and are friends now and BOYD is his brother, sorry it’s canon) so he’s here on the list

But he’s still a new addition to this family. And a weirdo and a rich brat with a lot of issues that someone should seriously help him with. He’s gonna make everyone uncomfortable. Is it intentional? Or is he just being Doofus? Who knows

What I do know is this, don’t eat the dish he brought.

Della, Donald, and Scrooge!

The original three!

These three are responsible for splitting up the family in the first place so it’s no surprise that they’re number one on this list!!

Yes they’ve squashed their beef with one another and moved past the Spear of Selene, but they are still themselves

The ones most likely to start shit over the dumbest things

These three are going to be bickering over who should carve the turkey. And the argument will be so loud and hectic that no one will question why a bunch of birds are eating a turkey

Anyway, hope you enjoyed this list. It wasn’t meant to slander any characters, just did it for fun. Happy Thursday everyone.

[urlocalnonbinarybastardwrites]

Your Outsiders Ship: Ponyboy Curtis!

Explanation: I think that he would love your curly brown hair and also he would love the fact that your personality is so big and so lash full like I think he would love that you have a fistful of words to throw with anybody and you are not afraid to do so if anyone insults you or any of your friends whom you are very loyal to. He would also enjoy reading books with you and I feel like you’re the type of person that would be opinionated on the books and so he and I feel like you guys would have such great banter like discussing the books and having little mini like arguments that are really just friendly, but they’re buildable on your guises relationship and I think that you might be the only person that’s able to change ponies little stubborn mind about something. Yeah you guys would definitely be smoking and reading together. He would always be there to catch you if you were falling or clumsy, and as soon soon as he learns that you’re kind of a klutz, he’s always next to you and kind of worried that you’re gonna fall. Your parents probably love him and I think that he would love drinking tea with you like I think he’s definitely a tea person. I don’t feel like he likes coffee at all and I feel like Darry does and he hates it and prefers tea. I feel like he would be a really good person to help you focus and he’s really really good at drawing your attention to whatever your guys are working on and letting you have little brain breaks to get your energy out and then resuming focus so whatever you wanna do gets done I just feel like he’s really good at not procrastinating. Ponyboy is more soft-spoken than outspoken if that makes sense and I feel like you guys could balance each other out and kind of help. Take a tribute from each other like he could help you maybe be a bit more polite and you’re talking and get your point across without necessarily being so blunt to strangers, and you could help him be a little bit more outspoken about his own opinions instead of just trying to shove them away for the sake of being tough or agreeable. But I feel like he’d be comfortable, expressing himself around you which is kind of rare even in canon. I think he really admires your ability to stand up for what’s right because that’s something he’s wanted to do to it but always been scared to do so in the fact that he has someone like you who just does it anyway he just finds that absolutely amazing and really admires you for it. Anyway, you guys are cute and I’m sorry for making mistake the first time but yeah I love you ttwoo 💚💚💚

[fadecrow]

This is just a vent if you come in here yelling at me I’m just gonna block you because I’m not gonna tolerate that shit here if you don’t like what I’m saying, just block me, close the page, hide the post, whatever. Constructive criticism is welcome, but you’re not allowed to be harsh. I can’t deal with that shit.

But I wanted to have a textual acknowledgement for memory reasons that in my experience, people like to talk big shit about oppression dynamics and the way they intersect until the point where they intersect in a way that makes them uncomfortable with the implications attached to how they’ve been treating people.

Like as an example, people like to talk about how oppression dynamics can compound the way people experience things. What they don’t like to talk about, and I’m sorry if I word this wrong but I don’t know how to say it in The Correct Way, is how they can make things a little bit fucky when you’re trying to figure out if oppression is even happening. Kind of like how some disabilities conflict but instead of being just disabilities it’s everything. You have a dynamic that is supposed to be oppressed vs oppressor yaaay punching up, BUT because of the way that it is people just get hurt.

For example, sex positivity and open sexuality is very important in order to kill shame, but there are also people who are sex repulsed and don’t wanna hear about fucking. This just kind of ends up with shame being thrown around on both sides of the argument and no one coming to a conclusion about how to accommodate both important things.

Or someone might have a symptom of a disorder that is very uncomfortable for one person to be around for one historical reason or another, but in all honesty, the symptom isn’t actually causing tangible harm. It just reminds someone else of the tangible harm they’ve already been through, and so they decide to take it out on the person who has the symptom. (Like certain disabilities that make you curse in public, etc.) When the person with the symptom tries to defend themselves because the one who is uncomfortable suddenly attacks them, the one who is uncomfortable leverages the idea that you’re not allowed to tell someone whether or not you’re hurting them, completely glossing over the fact that they aren’t in any danger to begin with. And then the person with the symptom in trying to express that they are allowed to exist in public without causing themselves unnecessary stress is now the bad guy. Nobody calls the person who was uncomfortable out and tells them maybe they should take a step back.

And I’m not even going to get into people who say silence is violence and that shows up for people with CPTSD or moral scrupulosity OCD, which might be exacerbated by the idea that if you don’t think and say and do things exactly the right way you are A Problem and Evil.

I have personally been told because I didn’t word things in exactly the right way and the person didn’t like how I existed in their twisted up perception of me I deserve to have my mental health tanked every day. They literally said they hope that my symptoms get worse right to my digital face, no anon. And I wasn’t telling them anything mean in regards to them or their family or political party or anything, I was trying to express something that upset me in my own life where I didn’t know how to deal with it in a space where others were also sharing similar situations. Trying to defend myself at all in that space just got more and more people yelling at me and I had to leave that site. (And no, I’m not going to name the site or exactly what the argument was about because I’m not going to go through all that shit a second time. It took hours for me to come back from it mentally, and I had people threaten to find me. I’m done forever talking about that specific difficulty in detail I’m just not going to do it ever again or seek any help for it.)

It’s really fucked up if people don’t exist the right way it’s acceptable to destroy them by dogpiling them.

I don’t know what this is called like social violence or something? Is it a form of gaslighting or a double bind or am I confused? Any way you slice it, it’s unacceptable in my opinion and I don’t understand why it’s so widely accepted in places that are supposed to be progressive.

It makes many spaces too hostile for me to learn in, and half of the time I just kinda have to absorb information from passive things that come across my feed instead of actually trying to seek out my flaws and learn actively because if I say things incorrectly, I only get attacked. Nobody will say anything in my defense and there is no compassion to be found anywhere anymore the way there was when I was a kid. I don’t want them to treat me like a child, but I want them to hold me to the same amount of value they did before if that makes any sense. It feels like now that people think my mind is sturdier, it means I am also trash that deserves to be chewed up.

[wvbaandtheboys]

hey vsauce, rocky here. time for a lil late night ramble, feel free to join if you wanna input anything. peter is not a violent person by any means, nor does he have a temper. in fact, he’s one of the nicest guys in Branch B you could meet. he’s a polite, energetic boy with quite the unique charm yet a bit of rowdiness you’d usually expect in a boxer. mac on the other hand, while still a polite boy, he’s rowdier than peter. mac’s more likely to speak his mind and hence more likely to get negative reactions. however, mac doesn’t usually have ill intent. he’s just honest. he’s also more likely to gauge how to act in a situation depending on the mood of the other person, instead of using his own judgement normally. mac doesn’t really like to admit it, but he is kind of confrontational. if you talk any kind of smack about mac himself, or anyone else he knows, chances are you’re going to get him irritated and he’s gonna say something back. but sometimes he knows how to keep his mouth shut and just let it pass. sometimes. Peter and Mac are very close friends and have a brotherly bond. They’re always looking out for each other. Even if sometimes they rope each other into different troublesome situations. now.  if anyone dared to even think to threaten mac in a debate, or even worse lift a finger to harm him, normally if any other boxer that has an alright opinion of mac will come to his aid. the handling of the situation depends on the boxer. (aran will always try and take a swing if he feels its necessary, while someone like joe will use words if its not physical.) but hoo boy. OH BOY OH BOY. Let Peter even catch a glimpse of someone going to hurt Mac? Hoh ho, it is not going to be pretty. Despite his charming and docile personality, when Peter gets angry, it’s nowhere near the same as if he was calm. Turns him into a whole other person. He can make even the strongest of the boxers think twice before tussling with his angry side. And Mac being so close to Peter means that they both have a varying degree of feeling the need to protect one another. Of course, with Peter being the older brother in the pairing, this feeling is amplified in his case. And boy, does he do it justice. If you’re ever having an argument with Mac and you’re about to say something you probably shouldn’t be saying, you might wanna look up. Cause you might just see Peter looming over Mac’s shoulders, staring at you with a seemingly friendly smile. On some occassions, maybe he’ll mouth some words to ya! Stuff like:  ”Don’t.” Or- ”How’s it goin’, buddy?” That’s the only warning you’re gonna get. Take it. Because if you don’t, and even worse, you try and start something with Peter? Oh, you’re gonna regret it fast. Peter’s reputation as a prodigious boxer precedes him. He can beat someone within an inch of their life. He didn’t defeat the Bruisers with that goofy charm of his y’know? Putting a long story short: Don’t mess with Mac while Peter’s around. Well, don’t mess with Mac period. But especially not while Peter’s around. Unless you have a death wish.

[elsweetheart]

Hey homie is love ur writing but I don’t want to accidentally request some thing not allowed so do you have any rules?? 🫶🏼 

hey! oops i totally forgot to write a rules list thing so here it is, i’ll have it linked on my pinned too so it’s easily accessible from now on. i may add to it over time 💕

kitties rules 🎀

general rules

no hate, bigotry, or bashing what / how i write. this should go without saying.

do not spam my ask box if i haven’t answered your request. i’m either getting round to it, i don’t have inspiration for it, or i don’t like it. additionally, if i do not like your request i will just delete it. nothing against you, but i do not have to feel pressured on my own blog.

eating disorder accounts DO NOT INTERACT WITH ME. i have to click most profiles to check if there’s an age or some kind of idea of age on your page and i find that content triggering and shouldn’t have to see it. do not follow, do not like, do not reblog.

i am happy to talk to anyone and give out advice, however please do not bring me any super heavy / trauma related rants. tumblr writers are not therapists. i sympathise with you but i must set a boundary and i cannot help you.

only claim an emoji anon if you’re actually going to send me asks! the amount of times someone asks to claim an emoji for their anons but then never message me again has just gotten too much sadly. additionally, please don’t just send ‘can i claim *insert emoji* anon?’ you can claim it if you say something else or converse with me in the ask for the reasons above !!

do not slander pillow princesses / stone tops.

no abby bashing on my page. block my abby tag, or leave. i really don’t care! just don’t bring it here.

no drama, gossiping about other blogs, or comparing my writing to another writers. i’m not that kinda blog and i’m not entertaining rudeness. unless of course, you are making me aware of another writer stealing / being overtly problematic so that i can quietly unfollow etc.

do not bash my interpretations of the characters i write for. whilst you might not agree, as i could make tweaks to what is canonically true about them (e.g: the version of ellie i write for is 5’7) these are my personal interpretations and headcanons which are not up for argument.

do not repost my work, do not translate my work, and please do not copy my writing and just tweak it so it’s for another character. especially if it’s just another tlou character because more times than not i will see it and i find it kind of disrespectful.

if you don’t have your age in your bio, i’m not writing your request or even replying to you. simple as that, i’ve asked you to respect my rules so if you don’t i’m not writing for you!

please be kind to me! i love how enthusiastic you all are but please remember to be polite as i am a person and not a writing machine. if you’d like to request something in my ask box, please do not say something like “i need more ____ now!!” as i will probably just delete it unfortunately!

additionally to this, if i say i’m not writing a part 2 to a fic, most of the time i’m going to stick by that. i appreciate you enjoyed the first one a lot, and i don’t wanna sound mean — but begging me to write a part 2 when i already said no is just gonna irritate me. sorry!

writing rules (tw)

i will not write about:

men, this is a safe space for wlw / nblw

sexual assault / r*pe. again, this is a safe space.

additional to this i will not write cnc. not bashing anyone who’s into it, but i am uncomfortable with it.

self harm / suicide

i will not write for reader with a mental illness / disability that i do not have. i have adhd, so i am happy to write for adhd reader but that is all. i want everyone to feel included and validated of course but i am scared of including stereotypes / misinformation and doing more harm than good! also i just don’t know how to write it lol! i don’t really want to write for body issues / insecurities for the most part either.

ddlg / age play. i am comfortable to write daddy/mommy but not as an entire lifestyle.

i don’t write a whole lot of angst with no resolution / happy ending. absolutely no hate to people who write that, i just get sad easily and don’t want to put myself through that lol!

i don’t write dom!reader im sorry! there are lots of fantastic, talented blogs out there that do but as i am a submissive pillow princess i wouldn’t even know where to begin and writing it just wouldn’t be pleasurable for me!

i will add to this list, but basically if i am not comfortable writing something i just will not!

let’s all just have safe respectful fun ! 💕

[mooregan07]

ah yes why care about anything when mother is giving us new music!!!! so thankful ☺️🥰

like keep being distracted by the shadows babes but there is an actual world out there that does get impacted by these things (i’ll assume from your stance you won’t be) and believe it or not the mega superstar has a massive role in it (and the arguments of hypocrisy is that she knows her massive role, has said she wants to use it to be better and better the world, and doesn’t because she don’t wanna lose the breakup)

and yeah the implications of a rich white british man saying he gets off to women of colour being brutalized is no big deal! so right! 🧐

kind of longer post coming in.

hey love! thank you so much for sending in this ask and i totally understand what you’re saying here. also thank you for explaining the hypocrisy thing to me, i do need to get more versed on everyone’s thoughts and theories, and i definitely will.

while i am not a person of color, i do have many close friends who are, and i do truly understand where everyone is coming from. i am lgbtq, a woman, i use she/they pronouns, and i have a lot of greek blood in me, and my grandmother is jewish, and so i do truly know the damage and harm that someone can cause by saying things like what matty says. i’m not trying to defend myself for any comments that someone may have deemed problematic or “distracted by the shadows”. i’m so sorry if this is how i came off. let me just take some time and explain myself a little farther, as it seems i need to do.

i just really don’t like to jump to conclusions about celebrities because we don’t know them personally, and we don’t know what they are truly like. i do realize that satire or not, there are a lot of things that matty has said that are very, VERY wrong and should be talked about and critiqued. however, again, we don’t know who taylor is behind closed doors. it’s hard to cope with and hard to hear, and i’ve been very anti super stans since the beginning because people get so heartbroken over celebrities coming out to be more problematic. i would like taylor to make an official statement, and i have educated myself more on the issues with matty.

as i saïd in my earlier post, i wasn’t super sure about everything, and i still a teenager and i’m learning about politics and how to be/how to live. i’m so very sorry if my comments hurt anyone, that was not AT ALL the intention. i was just hoping that it could help some swifties who are very upset about this to find some hope in the situation.

also, i am very very aware that influencers/celebrities and even mega stars like swift majorly contribute to a lot of the problems we have in the US and all over the world right now. i just really try not to focus on the bad part and focus on the good because the bad really upsets me. i’m sorry if i came off as a defender for different issues. i’m very optimistic person and i try to find something that can possibly make a situation less anxiety inducing or upsetting for people and so once again, i was trying to spread some hope.

i do believe matty saying he watches pornographic material of women of color getting brutalized is HORRIBLE, and should not be condoned or said to be okay. i didn’t know he said that. i’m sorry i neglected this. i really want to emphasize that i do not neglect the pure disgusting things that matty has said in the past, i was just unaware and i have learned more now.

the idea of separating the art from the artist is very important to me for many reasons, one is because we never know what celebrities will do, and two, no one is perfect. public figures shouldn’t be glorified to the extent that we think they’re perfect/surprised that they get things wrong. so, i was still super excited about taylor’s new songs and i’m really pumped to see what she does next. taylor is still human and she gets it wrong sometimes, so i love her music but i don’t idolize her.

i would like to sincerely apologize for my ignorance and taking to the internet to say something that i do understand fully is controversial and is seen as very problematic for to some people. i just wanted to spread my feeling of hope that i had, because i seriously think taylor is a good person. i love taylor so very much that i don’t want to believe that she would condone matty’s behavior nor support it or tolerate it. i just wanted to hope that he’s a better person. maybe i’m in the wrong. once again i’m sorry, and i will educate myself better on this topic.

however, i just wanted to let everyone know that shaming people over opinons and thoughts, especially people who said explicitly that they are not super well educated on the topic and just wanted to share their opinion is not cool. taylor promotes kindness, and so called swifties who do not follow this are not true swifties. i know you were just trying to share your opinion, anon, but i do believe it could have been done in a much kinder way. i’m a huge believer in kind criticism, and so it would be much appreciated that you wouldn’t assume that i’m not impacted by the things matty says, and that i really don’t understand it. i do now, and i did not appreciate how harsh your criticism came off. i’m really just trying to promote hope and love and respect for peoples privacy. i hope you understand. i’m a very empathic, anxious, and emotional person, and so this did hurt me a little bit to be basically called ignorante. however, i truly do understands where you’re coming from.

nonetheless, thanks for sharing, anon.

[joshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh]

Josh trivia: my first tumblr URL was the-legend-of-elder-scrolls (I actually can’t remember if the dashes were there though lol), with “the legend of” referring to guess what, and the Elder Scrolls referring to, uh, yeah.

Skyrim’s a game that throughout my life I’ve probably put over 2000 hours in. I don’t actually know the exact number - I’ve played it through I think 3 different Xbox 360s with lots of corruption across them all, and even outside of the Xboxes failing me I’ve had plenty of 200+ hour files where I got bored of the character I was playing or bored by having done every major questline and would just start new files that would get however far they do.

Obsession went beyond just playing the game as well - my favourite YouTube channel was Fudgemuppet and I’d watch tons of other channels too, especially modded content, I think longing for the PC version of the game while I remained trapped on console lol. I’d stare at the UESP for hours, get into arguments in comment sections, Facebook even had a political beliefs thing you could add in your personal info for some scuffed reason where I established myself as a firm follower of the Stormcloaks. I was too stupid to get dosbox running on my laptop so I couldn’t play Arena and Daggerfall, and I was too “I don’t have a way to digitally use cash at all” to play Morrowind, but I could certainly get Oblivion on Xbox 360 as well and... not quite play the fuck out of it to the same degree because man that core gameplay feel is very rough around the edges, even compared to Skyrim. But still! For a few years I lived and breathed Skyrim and it was the best.

But yeah that, did kinda stop. Primarily because of how long I’d played the game for. It was just very easy for me to get bored of it. “Seen it all” mentality because true enough I’d finished every main guild questline and DLC story and Daedric quest like ten times over. I knew how to game the systems so strongly in my favour that I wasn’t so much “playing Skyrim” as I was just menuing all the challenge out of the game. I was also so committed to roleplaying specific characters with specific equipments that I’d almost lock myself out of doing fun things as well as purposefully kind of cheat the game (as much as 360 allows anyway) to achieve my desired build faster. But that’d mean once I had all the components of a build I’d kind of lose all desire to play that character anymore lol. I just lost the ability to actually enjoy the game anymore.

However, I’d never say I lost interest. There’s a classic question - if you could replay any game again for the first time, what’d it be? - obviously it’s purely a hypothetical you can never really do but, my answer’s probably Skyrim. And while I can’t replay it for the first time, perhaps if I give myself a good few years away from the game, it can feel fresh to me again? And that’s what I’ve done. After god knows how many years, I’ve gotten the game on PC and started finally replaying it. Several times before now I’d considered pulling the trigger and buying the Switch version for ease of accessibility - but the £50 price tag for an 11 year old game is steep lol. So we’re on PC now using Steam’s family sharing thing, since my little brother owns the game. It was actually helping him out with mods that kind of inspired me to push myself towards playing the game again, and yeah, here we are. I have Skyrim on Steam. We gaming.

Since it’s a relevant detail, I am running a couple of mods - but it’s important to me to fundamentally preserve the vanilla experience here. That’s what I fell in love with in Skyrim in the first place, and it’s what I’m here to re-experience all these years later. Accordingly, I’d describe basically every mod I downloaded as just adding a bit of atmospheric and some gameplay flavour. I didn’t even wanna fuck with Nexus so I’ve just gone workshop and downloaded the entire cities and villages enhanced collection, the entire sounds of Skyrim collection, what’s basically an immersive armours substitute adding the armours individually (I deliberately excluded one set that pushed outside the lore a bit too much for my taking) and an actual immersive weapons substitute just to get a couple more weapon types that still work with the world. I actually think the only gameplay mods I really got are a few that make like Daedric and other unique weapons a bit stronger to justify their lore position a bit more. For all intents and purposes though I really am just playing vanilla Skyrim but with a touch more atmosphere by way of sights and sounds. And that’s what I wanted.

Aside from that, the one other rule I’ve really set for myself in order to get the most out of this is just try play it like it’s my first time. By which I mean, let myself get distracted. Don’t lose myself in overarching goals. Wander into that cave. Take your time exploring. Chat with NPCs. I have a character, but I’m not really roleplaying. I’ve not specifically decided on an armour set I’d really like. I’m playing on apprentice even to avoid getting bored by damage spongy combat encounters. On finishing Helgen I walked westward, away from Helgen and that first main story segment I’ve done to death. I’ll get back to it eventually, sure, but I’m not interested in the urgency anymore. Instead I met Angi in her cabin in the southern mountains of Skyrim, where she trained my archery - which is not a thing I think I was ever even aware of having existed. Then I went down to Falkreath, where I learned that the current Jarl is a lazy bastard whose uncle the former Jarl was basically demoted in what almost seems to be an Imperial ploy. It’s weird, a younger Josh got so wrapped up in Tamriel’s version of the creation myth or whatever that I didn’t even really engage with the minutiae of actual current lore in just Skyrim as a place. And sure, reading wiki pages for hours has its charm, but just playing the game itself and talking to people and reading books? This is what I missed. This is what’s making Skyrim fun for me again.

I don’t know if I have a fun or interesting or really at all conclusive way to approach this post. I’m really just playing Skyrim again and wanted to talk about it, for nobody’s sake but my own. I’m just so happy to finally be playing it again.

[gun-witch]

Venting about “Acceptable Targets” and Bigotry.

Fair warning, this is me just speaking my mind with no real concern for formatting or making any kind of coherent point. I’m just venting.

And a TLDR if you don’t wanna read it all: There’s a problem in Leftist spaces with deciding certain bigotries are okay, I used antitheists going from attacking genuinely harmful kinds of Christian faith to attacking all Christians to attacking marginalized religions as a way to explain the issue, but this happens in many other ways.

I’ve been trying to reduce my time on twitter lately for mental health reasons. It’s the kind of site that just highlights the worst kind of people imaginable. When I made the account I currently use, I did my best to block liberally and curate things as much as I could, because I know twitter is just an awful website full of awful people.

For a while, it really seemed to work. The times politics came up on my feed, it was like it is here, curated, people having reasonable reactions to the horrible things that happen in the world. Yeah I also got into the occasional argument with right wingers, but honestly, it’s easy to disengage when you know they’re just not operating in a worldview that remotely resembles reality.

A conservative promoting racism, transphobia, homophobia, etc. is really easy to disregard because they’re so ridiculous, that any sensible person isn’t going to take them seriously. You can just post information on why they’re wrong and move on, it’s very easy to disregard what they think about you.

But, more recently, I’ve noticed bigotry creeping its way into leftist spaces (online, I’ve yet to see anything of this outside of the internet). Sometimes it’s the familiar, TERF talking points dressed up as progressive. I’m sure you all know the type, people who wanted to exclude nonbinary people when that was “new”, people who want to exclude neopronouns or xenogenders, or otherkin or whatever else. They’re usually really obvious, and having been one of these people in the past I know exactly what to say, I just tell them what made me realize the harm in gatekeeping and exclusionist thought. Usually, people ignore them, because Leftists usually know better.

Usually.

If you know me outside of tumblr (which most of you do, I’m not exactly big on this site, and I don’t want to be either), you know that antitheism is THE bigotry that pisses me off. Not because it affects me, I can write off transphobia, acephobia, etc. pretty easily even when they’re actively making my life harder, I’m just good at not letting things get to me emotionally. The real reason antitheism gets under my skin is that it’s just different enough from the big “isms” that a lot of genuinely good and well meaning people fall for it.

See, when I inevitably check the profile of someone being nasty over religion on twitter, saying that because I’m a priestess I’m the same as a Christian priest and therefore naturally evil, I often have a lot of mutuals with them, and they’re otherwise an outspoken leftist.

Antitheism is something that a well meaning atheist who sees the very real harm done by the biggest religions in the world can fall for. On the surface of it, it makes sense. A surface level reading of the Bible, the Torah, the Quran, the “big 3″ religious texts in the eyes of many activists, would have you believe they promote some really nasty stuff. If you don’t know that the Bible was written as a compilation of conflicting beliefs, and that cherry picking is a feature and not a bug, you could be forgiven for thinking Christianity is evil by default.

And on top of that, you experience hate and violence from Catholicism, American Protestantism, and so many other sects. Eventually that violence just becomes “Christianity” to you.

Then it becomes “Abrahamic” religions, because to the uneducated, Abrahamic means Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, and as far as you know, these religions are identical. You haven’t done the research to know how ridiculous this idea is, and you won’t because nobody has prompted you to.

Then, because the only preachers you hear are from Christianity (which you’ve already decided represents two other completely different faiths), and you never talk religion with someone who isn’t trying to convert you (really, why would you?), that violence you experienced becomes “religion”.

Religion becomes synonymous with conservativism, fascism, and every other political ideology that we rightfully write off as harmful. So then when you meet a Gnostic, a Jew, a Pagan, a Satanist, a Native American who believes in the religion that’s intrinsically tied to their culture? You look at them and you see a Nazi.

The very important aversion to hateful ideologies is hijacked, you begin to hate marginalized groups in the name of opposing bigotry.

It gets worse though, because from there, antitheism becomes a gateway bigotry of sorts. I’m sure everyone’s heard the statement “religion is a mental illness” at this point. The antitheist becomes so attached to their bigotry, that when they realize a religion isn’t harmful directly, ableism comes in to save them from introspection.

This happened on a large scale a few years ago, in the mid 2010s we saw a lot of youtube channels and social media pages dedicated to opposing religion turn their sights on “social justice warriors”. I remember these channels promoting this hip and new thing called “the alternative right”, what they described as a secular form of fascism, a “good” fascism, because they were so deep into hating religion that they forgot why religion was bad to begin with.

This isn’t unique to antitheism by any means, like I said before it happens with exclusionary movements like transmedicalism, anti-mspec crap, and one could even argue it’s got something to do with how transphobic “feminism” rose to prominence.

I think more people should be aware of how radicalization happens, more critical of what we consider “acceptable targets”. Racism isn’t bad because of the race aspect, race is bad because prejudice itself is wrong, attacking groups of people who lack social power is wrong.

Because it isn’t the big corrupt churches you hurt when you label all religion evil. It’s the marginalized faiths. The Pagans, the Jews, the Muslims, the sects of Christianity which do genuinely preach love and compassion. Focus your criticisms on groups in power, not people who seem similar at a glance.

And this applies everywhere, transphobia and exclusionism toward transmasc people also come from a fundamental misunderstanding of what male privilege is. I’m really only using religion and antitheism as a vehicle to talk about a more general issue because it’s the one that’s on my mind.

[birdsbeesknees]

This is for people feeling like this living with conservatives! I am not a professional in psychology. This is just from personal experience.

- Find as many ways to not be around the “home” conservatives. That being the ones you live with or are connected too. Wether or not you wanna avoid the ones outside of that is up to you. For me it’s easier cause it’s like “sweet freedom on a stick I don’t give a damn I am ALIIIVE” when I’m on my own. Obviously avoid the alt right. If you have a car you can get a job to save money to move out, go to the library, go to a park, all kinds of stuff. If you don’t, I’m assuming you’re probably a minor, but for my folks that are adults I’ll leave you with some other stuff after this. For the minors, sign up to as many school activities as you can. Band is all year round and gay as hell. Most sports are seasonal though. Also stay at friends houses, and if you’re grades are good enough you can be an after school tutor. For my adults with no car, try getting a bicycle, or a friend with a car. Also you can read fantasy of fiction novels a lot. I know that sounds weird but they really do suck you into other worlds. Also see about living with someone else if you can.

- Get as many distractions in your life as possible. And make sure they’re healthy. Reading, writing, running, birdwatching, sewing, making music. Make it a challenge to get as many things in your life that distract you and make you happy. Bonus points if they make others happy.

- Journal your feelings out. Find some healthy way to express your feelings. And make sure you’re doing it a lot so it doesn’t back up. Also if you’re being really real in this expression make sure you hide it like SUPER well from the home conservatives. And I mean really really well. Like writing your diary in a language they don’t know well.

- Make sure you have people around that love you for who you actually are. Have their numbers written down on paper in case your device gets taken away. Make friends that see you for who you are and love you. Go to events that you think will have people like that there.

- Make sure you’re doing the baseline things where you live with your folks to keep them from getting angry. Chores, keeping up with schoolwork, whatever it is.

- Don’t ever bring up any political topics around them, at least don’t do this if you know they’re not gonna change.

- Never argue, just confront or politely disagree. No name calling, assuming how they feel, or telling them how they feel. Avoid arguments on the whole, just confront. As in healthily tell them there’s an issue. If they get rowdy stick to what I said about no name calling and all that other jazz. And stay CALM.

- If you hear them talking about you behind your back, only listen in if it’s for your safety. If not I stick to this motto “it is not worth it in this lifetime or any others” because it’s really not.

- Do whatever possible (no matter how far away a move out is) to save money to move out. Save up money in general tbh. When I say whatever possible though I don’t mean harm yourself or others.

- Don’t risk coming out unless you’ve moved out or if they’ve changed FOR SURE. I repeat, do not come out to them while living with them unless you know they’re completely safe. Which if you’re reading this all the way through probably not.

- Remember that their opinions aren’t the be all end all. That you’re not completely alone and there’s a whole world out there on your side. There really is.

Again I am not in a lot of trumps main communities he targets hate towards (although I am in some) and I’m also not a professional in psychology so if any of this was problematic please let me know.

I hope none of you disappear in the coming days. Seriously don't do anything that can't be undone.

[pesterloglog]

Jade Harley, Calliope, Roxy Lalonde

Meat, page 19

JADE: so you see janes neoliberal austerity measures—

JADE: as i outlined here in graph b-2

JADE: and here in figure a-6

JADE: and here!!! in this very spooky drawing i dictated to callie

JADE: (great drawing by the way!!!)

CALLIOPE: ^u^

JADE: —will no doubt lead to a whole bunch of ugly societal backlashes

JADE: not just in economic terms but on a number of other more serious vertices that weve been lucky enough to avoid on new earth so far

ROXY: u dont say

JADE: i DO say!!!

JADE: the thing is that jane is an establishment leader

JADE: shes looking at doing things the way our old universes did them

JADE: shes pretty convinced that shes going to be able to replicate the capitalist hierarchies that earth had but in a more “responsible” way

JADE: but none of that stuff actually worked!!!!!

ROXY: and u think karkat can do better?

JADE: i think its worth it to give him a chance

JADE: hes a leader of the people AND hes experienced firsthand what happens when establishment goes too far

JADE: which i imagine you can sympathize with!

JADE: and!!

JADE: that’s my pitch!!!!

CALLIOPE: i’m...

CALLIOPE: going to get Us tea and snacks. woUld yoU like some, jade?

JADE: oh

JADE: yeah sure

CALLIOPE: any preferences?

JADE: ummm pumpkin matcha if you have it

CALLIOPE: of coUrse. i’ll be right back.

JADE: soooo..........

JADE: what do you think?

ROXY: hmmmm

ROXY: well i gotta say

ROXY: this has been a hella convincing argument all in all

ROXY: buuuuut idk if i can help u out

JADE: what????

JADE: why not?!

ROXY: i just dont rly

ROXY: care about politics that much i guess

ROXY: also this election is all kinds of personal

ROXY: i mean if i came into ur house and asked u to make some grand political w/e against your bff

ROXY: would you be all

ROXY: oh yea totes sign me tf up

ROXY: im alls ABOUT the sowing of discord among my childhood friends

JADE: siiiigh let me guess

JADE: dirk got to you first

ROXY: not even

ROXY: i got no problem tellin dirk where to stick it lmao

ROXY: but dirks not the one running

JADE: you think hes NOT the one pulling the strings behind the scenes?

ROXY: sure but give janey a lil credit

ROXY: shes got more moxie and ambition in her pinky than the rest of us got all together

ROXY: shes been planning this for years

ROXY: but shes yknow

JADE: ruthless? :B

ROXY: *fragile*

ROXY: shes gotta be miss perfect all the time for the billboards n press meetings

ROXY: always wearin those power suits trying to look like a big bad bitch

JADE: you mean like....... the condesce?

ROXY: wow ouch

JADE: im not just imagining it though, right???

JADE: you see it too

JADE: not to dredge up something horrible from your history

JADE: but her whole image is just kinda...... *woof*

ROXY: is that what you guys think?

ROXY: u and dave and karkat?

JADE: well...

JADE: yeah

ROXY: well janes not perfect

ROXY: and idk if shell be a good president

ROXY: but shes not betty crocker

ROXY: and i luv her and i dont wanna hurt her feelings

ROXY: and thats p much all there is to say on the matter

JADE: fiiiiine

JADE: i understand

JADE: callie what about you?

CALLIOPE: oh, i’d rather stay Uninvolved, thank yoU.

JADE: :(

CALLIOPE: i feel like interfering in both politics and a personal argUment between my friends woUld be impolite as well as kind of... stressfUl, to be honest.

JADE: yeah

JADE: sorry callie i probably shouldnt have put all that on you

CALLIOPE: less apologizing, more snacking!

JADE: wow callie youre such an amazing hostess!

JADE: hehehe roxy youre so lucky to have her

ROXY: psst not “her,” “them”

JADE: oh

JADE: oh!!!!!!

JADE: oh wow!

JADE: im sorry i didnt mean to be uh... culturally insensitive?

JADE: have i just been stupidly calling you a girl for years like a big fat dummy??

JADE: oh nooooo! im such an asshole!!!!!

CALLIOPE: yoU are absolUtely not an asshole!

CALLIOPE: i didn’t mind being called a girl. i still don’t really mind, it’s jUst not exactly... accUrate.

CALLIOPE: bUt i did take comfort in “being a girl” for a very long time. this is something i’ve only recently decided.

ROXY: yea...!

ROXY: m-me too actually

JADE: you??

ROXY: o yeah we are both a “they” household now

ROXY: package deal thing

ROXY: things r nonbinary as fuck around here

JADE: really?

ROXY: yup

ROXY: well

ROXY: i mean thats probably a dumb and bad way to say it dont tell anyone i said it that way rofl

ROXY: but yeah thats about whats goin on

ROXY: wow that felt good to say aloud man

ROXY: ahah hahaha hell of a way to come out

JADE: its ok

JADE: i dont wanna make you uncomfortable

ROXY: i know

JADE: but i am curious!

JADE: if you need to talk about it i mean

ROXY: maybe

ROXY: callie and i have been talkin about it a lot

ROXY: unpackin all kinda baggage w/ their alien stuff and my human stuff

ROXY: and so i got to thinking

ROXY: what even is gender

ROXY: amirite lol?

JADE: oh yeah

JADE: that makes sense i guess........

JADE: so youre uh

JADE: not...... “doing gender” anymore??

ROXY: ya i guess not lmfao

ROXY: i mean that was all stuff from our old universe

ROXY: whyd we even bring it here right?

JADE: right

CALLIOPE: my ideas aboUt gend—

CALLIOPE: —er were entirely inflUenced by my time watching earth.

CALLIOPE: i sUppose i only thoUght of myself as a girl because my, Um...

CALLIOPE: my brother took mascUlinity qUite serioUsly.

CALLIOPE: by which i mean, he became very enthUsiastic aboUt all the things it sUpposedly meant to be a boy.

CALLIOPE: cherUb existence is dichotomoUs, bUt not in the same way hUman biology is.

CALLIOPE: i sUppose oUr view of hUman cUlture indirectly inflUenced alternia’s development, which in tUrn affected yoUrs, which is something i’ve had a lot of time to think aboUt since we came here.

CALLIOPE: it’s all so very circUitoUs and arbitrary.

ROXY: yeah exactly!

ROXY: like when u think about it...

ROXY: so much of what earth c thinks what boys and girls “SHOULD” do comes straight from the imagination of a bunch of dumb teens

ROXY: which is totally FUCKED

JADE: sure

ROXY: i mean what am i gonna do

ROXY: get married and pop out 100 bbs?

JADE: uh... no???

ROXY: exactly

ROXY: i mean once upon a time i guess i thought about that

ROXY: but i dont think its what i really wanted

ROXY: i just liked the idea of me and dirk makin some smart ass awesome kids together

ROXY: cuz i liked the idea of dirk

ROXY: and also literally no one else on the entire planet was alive at the time

ROXY: but we had some babies without even bein consulted about it anyway so w/e

JADE: your kids ARE pretty cool

ROXY: i KNOW right?

JADE: personally im a big fan!

JADE: i...

JADE: i.........

ROXY: jade?

ROXY: o shit

CALLIOPE: is she okay?

ROXY: idk

ROXY: get a cloth from the kitchen! and some water!

CALLIOPE: okay! i’ll be right back!

[whoopsieintheuniverse]

Headcanon Time!

Yeeeeaaaaahhhhhh I’m writing for Naruto again!

Kisame Headcanons

NSFW under the cut so Imma need the minors to not go under there. Thnks. 

Very polite, mhm. 

This is kind of canonical, but I just wanna emphasize how polite Mr. Hoshigaki is. He will kick your ass in training and then tell you to have a good day and genuinely mean it. 

He’s also just not very judgmental, which is probably due to how he was raised. 

I headcanon that Kisame had a very country, almost hilly-billy like family. In canon, there are no Hoshigaki names on memorials in his village; they’ve been expunged. I don’t know why but that’s some Hatfield-McCoy type shit. The Hoshigakis were menaces to society for no particular reason, and Kisame just had to go with the family.

After seeing what he’s seen, yeah Kisame is not judging you at all. 

Talks to Samehada and knows its responses like the back of his hand.

I think the bond to Samehada and its user works similarly to Venom and Eddie Brock. 

That shit is a symbiote and you cannot change my mind. 

A FULLY SENTIENT SWORD?? THAT HAS FOOD TASTE PREFERENCES??? yeaaaaahhh your honor, that’s a symbiote. 

Sometimes, who Kisame trains with is dependent on what chakra Samehada has a taste for that day. Kisame definitely soils her. Talks to her like a dog when no one is looking. 

Itachi has seen it. He says nothing, but he think it’s cute. 

Because of the bond between him and Samehada, I think Kisame can kind of taste chakra, too. He’s been bonded to the sword so many times that he has some of its powers even when not formally bonded together.

Kisame can swim, but he can’t fish.

 It makes no sense, but Kisame is terrible at fishing. He isn’t all that patient, and sedentary activities like that don’t strike his fancy all that much. 

Itachi is convinced that sometimes Kisame scares the fish away on purpose. 

As for swimming, Kisame, of course, is a strong swimmer, but did you know that wasn’t always the case? 

Kisame couldn’t swim all that well until he hit the ninja academy. I definitely think his family just chucked him into the water, and poor baby was pretty sure he was drowning until he remembered his gills. 

I think the “fussy, nervous kid growing up into a laid-back adult” trope is just funny, and it fits Kisame in my mind. 

Instigatorrrrrrrr. 

Again, pretty canonical, but one of Kisame’s favorite hobbies is starting shit. 

The rest of the Akatsuki is sooooo used to hearing him pipe up,” You just gonna take that?” during an argument. 

Itachi tries to get him to stop with one of his patented “Uchiha glares” but pouring fuel on a fire is too good for Kisame sometimes. 

Besides, he doesn’t do it often. More of just messing around. The Akatsuki is really the first place Kisame has been more comfortable of being himself and not just a weapon or tool, so his personality really has a tendency to chime through when he finds something funny amongst the members. 

In addition to this, Kisame also is very physical in a big-brother way. Very much will give Deidara a noogie. Is also the king of the shoulder-bump thing guys do when they pass you. Kisame is your annoying frat-brother confirmed. 

To go with the above, Kisame has not had many friends.

He didn’t allow himself to have friends. Thought they were liabilities. 

As such, even though Kisame will consider you a friend in his mind, he will be very independent. 

This is because he still struggles with the “shinobi have no friends” mentality, and because he doesn’t want his friends to think he can’t handle himself. 

To Kisame, if he isn’t firing at 500%, he isn’t good enough and other people will think that as well. 

Pls tell him he’s good. 

***********************NSFW CONTENT BELOW!!***************

 NSFW Kisame Headcanons

Get into it, yuh

Firm believer in “attitude adjustments”. 

Like, if there’s something seriously wrong, of course he’s not gonna be one of those guys that just pop it out unprompted. However. 

You feeling bad, babe? Shooot, let your man fix it. Hidan pissed you off? Yeah, let him make it all better. That movie made you sad? Sit on his lap and tell him alllll about it.

Let. Him. Pin. You. Down.

Kisame has such a huge thing for immobilizing his partner. Not even in a bondage way, but definitely with his body. Gets him hot for sure. 

It also makes him feel all mushy that you trust him enough to let him have that control. Think about it. You trust him, a missing-nin, a mercenary, and whatever else people call him. Despite everything he’s done and everything he’s been through, you still trust him and love him. Makes Kisame love you more each time.

Adventurous in bed. 

The Kama Sutra is a checklist for Kisame. No, I will not accept criticism, and no, I will not take it back. 

Every time, it’s kind of interesting to see what positions Kisame will think of next. 

He can’t help it! He loves every part of you, so of course he wants to see and touch and taste everything. One minute, you’re face to face and the next minute, he’s slinging you into a different  position. Just how it is babes. 

He will look out to not stress or stretch your body in any ways you can’t take, especially if you’re not a shinobi. 

Kisame has a thing for being used by his partner.

Now let me explain. To put it lightly, sit on his face. Use him as a dildo every once in a while. Take what you want from him, pls. 

Kisame just wants you to be completely satisfied by him. Using his body to get off like that is just *static noises*. Please just top him once in a while, I promise he will love it. 

So sweet after.

Kisame is not stupid. He knows his stamina is crazy, and he knows he’s rough.

Gives the best massages! Let him work out those knots he’s put into your back.

Likes to cuddle. He’s touch-starved and the first time you curled up to him, it freaked him the hell out. After that though? If you don’t cuddle up to him post-coitus, he’s going to assume something’s wrong unless you tell him otherwise.  

He also likes little forehead kisses and kisses on his shoulders. Don’t tell the guys, he has a reputation to keep.

[solomonish]

selfless (to a fault?) [demon brothers]

CW: allusions to past toxic relationships. minor description of injury in beel’s. belphie’s is a bit sad (happy ending! just melancholic vibes) and alludes to chapter 16.

no problem nonnie! i hope this is to your liking <3

nowdateables: here!

---

Lucifer

Honestly, he'd be a tough one to get to allow you to do anything for him. You know, the whole avatar of pride thing….and he also just generally has a habit of holding the weight of the world on his shoulders. He thinks - no, he knows he can handle everything on his own

If he's letting you in enough to help him - not only trusting you enough to think the tasks he delegates to you will be done to his liking, but allowing you to help and opening up the possibility that he might be risking his image of perfection - he can only expect you'll let him do the same for you. It's like your own special love language, right?

He does NOT like how jumpy you are about the subject. At first, he's miffed. Do you not think he can do the task to your liking? Has he given off the false impression that he cannot take any more work than he already has? Was your offer to help not based on affection, but pity??? It really ruffles his feathers.

He's the type to confront you head-on. At first, his voice is harsh because he's talked himself into thinking you've offended him, but when you start backing away and trying to dodge the conversation, apologies falling from your mouth about how the last thing you wanted to do was upset him, he softens. He doesn’t understand yet, but something is upsetting you and he intends to get to the bottom of it.

Not one who would pester you about opening up to him, but the sooner you do, the more of a show of good faith it is. He’ll trust your word entirely regardless, but it does a lot to soothe the upset of his own creation if you come back to explain sooner rather than later. After all, being vulnerable is perhaps Lucifer’s greatest show of love - it does not go unnoticed when you do the same.

Doing his best to talk through a solution is act of kindness #1 - and it helps you adjust a little since you worked with him rather than completely handed him the reins. He starts off his own plan to help you out by bringing in things he was already going to do for himself - offering you coffee when he gets his own, for example. He uses the fact that you’d feel bad for refusing against you for a little bit, but he means well!

You might notice him going softer on you for just a little bit - don’t say anything about it. He’s worried that he gave off the impression of using things against you because of how much of a disciplinarian he is. Besides, the two of you normally don’t get into arguments (he doesn’t have the time to let things simmer - if he’s that upset about something, he’ll try to address it immediately), so he doesn’t really know how else to change his behavior. He just hopes that allowing you the opportunity to open up to him again, should you need it, will alleviate the feeling that he’d ever use your kindness against you.

Mammon

The first time you stiffened up after he tried to help you, he thought you were crazy. Lucifer had just given you a punishment for one of his schemes that you took the fall for (and he still isn’t sure why Lucifer let you take the fall when it was obviously Not You), and you insisted that you could do it by yourself! He wasn’t too keen on cleaning every window in the House of Lamentation himself, so he left soon after placing the offer, but his time was spent mindlessly wondering about you.

The next time was shortly after, when you came into his room and crashed on his bed. He offered you a hand massage, although he did it in a very muttered voice with dark cheeks - and you said no again! Forget being offended that the romantic hand-holding idea he totally didn’t get from a magazine he was reading waiting for you (that would’ve somehow ended in disaster anyway) wouldn’t play out - he was getting worried.

He doesn’t bring anything up immediately, but he worries about you and watches you intently. Sometimes you’ll catch him staring at you, and he flips out when you ask him what’s up. The only clue Mammon gathers is that you don’t seem to be angry with him, so what’s up? He’s used to his backwards advances working against him, but he’s making a genuine effort here!

He finally gets pent up in his frustration and asks you head-on. Mammon isn’t known for his tact - “Oi, why won’t you just let me take over once in a while? Cut yerself a break, MC!” - but there’s a certain...desperate tinge to his voice that makes you realize he really does care (and is driving himself crazy trying to figure things out on his own). When you DO finally tell him, he sort of deflates and his voice goes to that softer, more genuine tone.

“H-hey, I would never do that kind of thing to ya…” He starts shuffling in place, kicking at rocks (if there are any) and you realize he kinda looks like a kid. “You do so much for everyone, and it makes me feel real good inside. I just wanna make you feel that, too. Besides, we don’t need TWO cranky workaholics in the house. Lucifer is plenty.”

He knows one moment of honesty isn’t going to fix your entire way of thinking, but he goes right back to his blatant offers after that. Maybe if he desensitizes you to it, you’ll feel less weird about accepting his help! It doesn’t work, so he shifts to little things. Catch him running across classrooms as soon as you’re dismissed so he can grab your textbooks to carry for you off the desk before you can. 

Once he realizes you’re more receptive to him helping you, he’s ready to breathe a sigh of relief and be annoying about it again. Generosity doesn’t come easy to him, okay? Besides, he’s The Great Mammon! You should’ve known he’d be better than any other guy you’ve been with!

Leviathan

Of COURSE you wouldn’t want someone like him to help you out. He’d probably mess it up, anyway…

Seriously, Leviathan is very sensitive to rejection, so the moment you politely decline any offers to help he backs up about a thousand miles and sulks when you’re not around. It’s hard for him to get out of his own head, and he’s so ready for you to just tell him what everybody else is thinking and how much he sucks…

It dawns on him, though, that you never gave up on him when he pushed you away. It’s totally not poggers sucky of him to just give up on you like that. You’re his henry! You’re his s/o! He’s totally ready to fight any boss for you!! …..after he levels up a little more.

Levi spends a TON of time looking up ways to talk to you, one-on-one. He isn’t good with emotions like this but he is capable of them and having deep, serious talks. It shouldn’t MATTER that his research material is a bunch of feel-good romance anime scenes that he based his most recent Top 10 OTPs of the season post on! 

Surprisingly enough, he brings it up relatively smoothly one night when you’re chilling in his room and he’s playing some relaxing simulator. You’re complaining about the things you have to do in the morning, and when there’s a lull in your conversation Leviathan turns and tentatively asks, “Hey...why don’t you try letting me help you out?” He can feel your refusal before it comes so he hurriedly adds “Please! I just- you stress yourself out so much and what good am I if I can’t even help you at all?”

Is it his impassioned plea for you to let him in? Is it his willingness to obviously step out of his comfort zone? Have your walls just conveniently crumbled at this moment? Whatever it is, you don’t have it in you to reject him when he’s so open about wanting to help you (and the pain it’s caused him not to). Either way, you sigh and give him a few, small tasks that you think you both could manage him having and he swears to do them well!!

Truly opening up to him about the reason why you were so hesitant on letting him help takes a while, and he doesn’t exactly pick up on it himself. Once you do tell him, though, in your journey to help yourself let him in, he holds you a little tighter and mumbles that he’ll never do that to you. Levi knows better than anyone that words can only mean so much, but he’s grateful for the chance to prove it to you. He won’t let his Henry down!

Satan

Satan is perceptive, and he knows how to talk about emotions. He might even have suspicious about the root cause before you even think about letting him know what’s up. He’s already started doing a few things for you - carrying each other’s books, for example. Small acts of kindness to get the both of you through the day.

However, one thing Satan isn’t good with…..is dealing with emotions head-on.

He spends so much time keeping his own under lock and key! After doing his best to keep the most calm, analytical front he can, Satan tends to uh….forget about the emotional part of emotions.

So. When he asks why you won’t let him reciprocate in the relationship, attempting to display that he just wants the two of you to be on equal ground and he is worried about you, he sort of comes off...as cold. And like he’s accusing you of feeling a certain way. He definitely presents it as “I’ve noticed you feel x and i think y would be helpful for us to fix it” rather than “how are you feeling? What is causing you trouble? How can i offer assistance in a way that translates well to you?” And if that doesn’t bring back some memories…

He feels awful, and at the end of it all you’re crying (or presenting your stress and bad memories however you normally do) and he still doesn’t know how to fix things. Counterintuitively, he looks through his books for an answer, and it takes him a few days to realize that’s what got him into this mess.

So he goes to you directly and, albeit a little clumsily, apologizes and asks what he can do to help you through this. You say that’s just the problem - you don’t want his help - and he sits next to you and just asks why? The two of you wind up talking for hours, sitting next to each other and just...really talking. You aren’t the only one feeling vulnerable - Satan is talking about his emotions full-on rather than through a scientific lens and it makes him just as nervous as you are.

Satan doesn’t get into arguments with you. He runs from the possibility because he’s worried about what his wrath could do to you. But he promises you that he could never hold anything against you, especially something like asking him for help. It’s an honor that you let him this close, and he can only return the favor in kind. He hopes you have enough faith to believe in him until he has the opportunity to prove it beyond a doubt.

Asmodeus

Asmo does things for people without asking. He gives unsolicited makeup and relationship advice, he offers to touch-up any products you may have on, he lends you clothes just because he felt like he should…

The thing is, Asmo will start before you even have a chance to ask him to stop. He’ll start before you’re even wondering if you like him. And at first, you’re ok with it. Well, you’re not, but you can decide he’s just testing the waters or that this is some weird demon way to earn your friendship or tell you he considers you a friendly presence, like cats. But it still rubs you the wrong way.

However, Asmo always notices that you...aren’t receiving it the way he wants you to. He invites you out and leaves you an outfit on your bed, and you come out wearing something entirely different. He leaves you a bouquet of flowers, and suddenly the dining room has a new bouquet in the center of it. (and you always avoid his gaze during those dinners, which is totally weird.) It’s almost like you’ve recognized the face he makes when he’s about to touch up your makeup, because you pull out a pocket mirror and check yourself over before he even has a chance to!

Are you leading him on? He doesn’t think so, but you are quite literally the only person he can’t literally charm the pants off of, and he isn’t quite sure how to navigate the signals you’re giving him. You seem fine with the relationship - it felt pretty genuine to him, and you looked thrilled when he made the romantic moves on you - so what was going on?

He finally caves and asks when he’s going through your wardrobe, sifting through it with you on the bed to make room for a shopping spree the two of you had been planning, and sees all the outfits he’d bought you hanging, still in their outfit bags. Some of the bags even had DUST on them!

He turns around and puts on a gentle voice. Though Asmo doesn’t know what’s happening, he can feel the air in the room shift and he knows he’s encroaching on some sensitive territory. “Hey, do you not like when I give you gifts? I haven’t been able to understand what’s been bothering you, but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable…”

He does NOT like the way you turn your face away from him, but he sits a respectable distance away and keeps his hands in his lap. Asmo is as good at genuine advice as he is at gossip, so it isn’t hard for him to get you comfortable enough to open up to him. You don’t have to tell him everything at once - he’ll listen to whatever you’re willing to tell him, letting you lean against him when you’re ready.

Asmo is known for being petty, but you bring out sides of him nobody knew were there. He’ll swear up and down that he’d never turn your good heart against you - after all, it’s one of the many things he loves about you - but he does understand where you’d get that impression. If you’ll let him prove it to you, he will - and he’ll start by only pestering you to let him buy one outfit for you on that shopping spree!

Beelzebub

Listen. Beel is a generous soul (for a demon) ((to those he really loves)). He just doesn’t ever really find himself in possession of anything worth sharing. Really, the only thing he is ever in the possession of is food. When he isn’t at his sports practice, working out or studying, he’s eating, and he’ll gladly share his food with you.

Oh? You don’t want it? He gives you a confused look - he’d ask if you were feeling well if he hadn’t eaten lunch with you just an hour before - but shrugs, his growling stomach winning over his concern. It’s not like you’re skipping meals, anyway. It isn’t until you get hurt helping him work out and refuse to let him pick you up to carry you to medical attention that he gets VERY concerned.

He feels awful enough as is. It was his fault you were even there - he just wanted to add more weight to his workout. (And, he won’t admit it, the idea of using a bench you were sitting on to lift over his head may have been a bit overkill. But he saw that little spark that said ‘that isn’t possible but man i wish it was’ when you saw it happen in that show and mmmmmmaybe he wanted to impress you. How was he supposed to know Mammon had broken it and left it there?) He could practically feel the pain in your ankle from the sound it made, and you were clutching desperately to your shin, wanting to press on the wound but knowing it was a bad idea. MC, there’s no way you can walk on that, why aren’t you letting him help?

The guilty puppy face he’s giving you is making the whole situation worse. It’s taking everything you can not to snap on, from the overwhelming pain in your ankle to the negative thoughts racing in your head to the knowledge that you’ll have to give in eventually. Finally, you face him head on and decide to just rip the band-aid off. “I don’t have the best experience with letting people do things for me. If you’re expecting to use this against me, I’m going to be out of commission for a while, so remember that.”

He is. So confused. Are you really mad at him? What are you talking about? It’s not that he’s stupid - because really, he isn’t - this just kinda came at him from left field and he does not know what to do about.

“What? I’m worried about you, MC, and there’s no way you can walk on your ankle. Come on, please let me take you to get help. I won’t mention it ever again if that’s what will make you happy.”

So maybe it takes a while to get to the nearest infirmary, and maybe he’s going extra slow so as not to jostle our injury, and maybe in the meantime he’s being so contemplative and quiet that you have a heart-to-heart. Beel’s too genuine not to trust him when he swears he’d NEVER use your kindness against you, but he understands it’ll take a while to show you.

Belphegor

So. Um. This is awkward.

Belphie is a smartass, and he’s the youngest and used to getting his way. He’s definitely the type to dig his heels in and fight dirty in an argument, just because he’s used to winning. He’s also sadistic and has plotted with you to use his brothers’ weaknesses against them for fun. So he gets it. He totally gets why you would think he’d do it. Honestly, that’s basically what he did to free himself from the attic, only with more violence involved. He gets it.

Since Belphegor hasn’t exactly been the nicest to you in the past, he isn’t about to make you pity him with words like “yeah, of course you wouldn’t trust me after what I did to you…” First of all, on the off chance that it’s completely unrelated, he doesn’t want to put that idea in your head and give you a resentment you never had, but also he’s getting a hang of this redemption thing. Yes, on an average day he’s still a bratty, selfish little shit, but he does show you how sorry he is for using you and hurting you. It shows in the way he checks up on you in situations he knows you’re uncomfortable in, in the way he cares for you in that gentle way that’s so subtle you wonder if he’s even actively doing anything. (He is - offering you the best spot in a blanket nest, suggesting your favorite meals when the brother on dinner duty needs ideas, little things - and you both know it.) But how does he repent for something he doesn’t even know if he’s doing?

The way you stop cold when you peek in the kitchen and see him (and Beel) cooking the dinner you just complained about wanting hurts. The two of you have a stare-off for a moment, and Beel gets the message to slide out of the room. Belphegor clears his throat.

“What do you want?” You ask with narrowed eyes. Ouch, way to be a Lucifer. He instead says, “Nothing. I just wanted to do something nice for you.” “And you don’t want anything in return?” “Have I given off the impression that I would?”

You sigh and step into the kitchen to wash your hands, asking if he needs help since Beel left. He grabs your wrist. “You’re welcome to keep me company, but I want to do this for you.”

He doesn’t like you looking at him distrustfully, but is relieved you sit at the counter instead of leaving. He wants to ask you what’s up, but something is stopping him - he ignores that what’s stopping him is fear that you’ll have another thing to add onto the list of the unforgivable sins he’s committed. If you feel like telling him, he’ll listen - but until then, he’ll go back to quietly trying to prove his worth to you, hoping one day you’ll see that it’s genuine and let him give you all the good things you deserve.

[britcision]

Oh for the desires I mostly mean that the desire to be good at fighting slots neatly in under his only established goal, since he does measurably take more initiative when things are directly related to the demon; it’s how Kabru gets him to eat, and why all the Canaries note that Kabru is good with him

He wouldn’t get up just for that on its own, as shown at the end of the series, but entirely new or different desires are presented as a potential solution for him

However, the main reason I maintain the teleporting has always been part of his fighting is still tied into that second point:

We never see him do anything else

Even when his teleporting explicitly didn’t work on the lion, he didn’t fall back on or even try another skill, for his only established goal

And he couldn’t have gotten that good at hand to hand in a year, when every other Canary we see except Lycion are more disposed to ranged attacks; the Canaries are encouraged/required to overachieve in their specialties, and he spent up to 60 years doing some kind of fighting in the dungeons

(Tbh all of the Canaries’ spell casting is weird, since none of them but the barrier mages ever really bother with an incantation; the shadow governor’s men clearly assume that gagging and grabbing their hands is enough to stop Cithis and Mithrun from casting, and are immediately proven wrong, which results in utter chaos)

Whatever he was doing before, it was likely a tactile trigger too, and we don’t actually see any of the other spell casters in the series casting anything but healing spells that requires direct contact; even Falin’s just plain bonking people with her mace, or patting the ghosts to dispel them to be polite

The idea of dropping all that training to start something entirely new just isn’t efficient

Mithrun didn’t want to be a Canary, but letting himself be seen as inferior by just not being good at it doesn’t fit with the inferiority complex Milsiril and Mithrun himself comment on; Mithrun thought everyone was beneath him by his own admission, and just running away from fights would make that position laughable

… honestly, when you think about it the teleportation is actually the perfect fighting style for someone who doesn’t really care about fighting - it’s pretty consistently a one-hit win, and he doesn’t even need to worry about being blocked or breaking their guard; all he has to do is touch someone to take them down

It’s an OP skill right off the bat, and I am in love with the idea of him stumbling on it in a moment of panic; something attacks him and instead of teleporting himself he slaps out and puts the problem in a wall

And then just deciding… yeah, that works. Why bother properly fighting when you can just put your opponent in the time out object of your choice?

(It’s also a great way to non-fatally end an argument; if he doesn’t wanna listen anymore, he can put your foot in a wall and walk away, and what is anyone gonna do about that? You can’t lightning bolt someone for temporarily inconveniencing you)

Honestly though, I also don’t think it’s a coincidence that the younger Mithrun is such a clear mirror of Kabru

Popular, personable, secretly thinks everyone else is worthless… Kabru even calls the younger Mithrun a “perfect young man”, which is way funnier when you consider his own constant drive to be seen as perfect himself

(Kabru WISHES he could just shut Laios in a wall)

It also makes Mithrun’s fate as a dungeon lord a little peek into what would have happened if Kabru was the main character instead of Laios; becoming the dungeon lord and near immediately falling to the same cycle, right up to eventually being devoured

Mithrun forcing himself to excel at something he absolutely does not want to freaking do just because he can’t accept other people being better extends the parallel nicely, but it’s ultimately all headcanons so there’s no right or wrong answer 😁

do you think mithrun had learned teleportation magic before he became dungeon lord, because it's difficult and he had wanted to be an advanced magic user (the -best- one in school) OR he learned it after his recovery because it's extremely dangerous and he decided that it's the only effective way to fight the demon (and he dgaf about safety anymore)?

[handsomelyhiddleston]

The Cabin - Tom Hiddleston x Curvy Reader (Part 1/3)

“What’s got you so distracted?” Evans asked Tom.

“Sorry, I just…I had planned on visiting my family again during break, but most of them will be on a cruise for a family friend’s wedding. I know I saw them less than two months ago for Christmas, but I don’t get to see them often anymore.”

“Oh, damn!” Chris replied.

“I know, I’m considering whether or not it’s even worth it to deal with two incredibly long flights going to and from London if I’m not even going to get to see my family.” He said, opening the make-up trailer door for him and Chris.

“Where else were you thinking about spending break?” he asked, plopping down in the make-up chair to start having all of the Captain America washed off for the next two weeks.

“Honestly, I don’t know. I may just take a trip to somewhere much closer by myself.” Tom answered, running his fingers through his hair when his wig was removed.

“If that’s what you WANT to do, cool, but you should just come with me to the cabin.” Chris suggested.

“The cabin?” Tom asked.

“Yeah, my friend Y/N owns a huge cabin and I drag my family up there every few years.” He explained.

“Thank you for the invite, but I couldn’t intrude on your family’s time with you.” Tom politely answered.

“Come on. First, you know my mother loves you. Second, you aren’t intruding on anything.” Chris tried convincing him.

“I really don’t want to be a bother.” Tom felt guilty, knowing how much of a family person Chris was.

“That’s it.” Chris dramatically pulled his cellphone out. “Siri, call Ma!”

“You wouldn’t.” Tom said, struggling to keep a straight face.

“Calling ‘Ma’” Siri’s voice replied. The make-up artists were trying hard to keep their laughs to themselves at this point.

After a few rings, Chris’ mother answered the phone. “Hey sweetie.”

“Hey Ma, I’m here with Hiddleston and I need you to settle an argument.” Chris shot Tom a snarky ‘watch this’ look.

“Tom! How are you, sweetheart?” Chris’ mom Lisa asked.

“I’m doing well, thank you. How have you been?” Tom replied with a grin on his face.

“I’m good, I’m good. Now what are you two arguing about?” She asked.

“Well, Tom isn’t going to get to see his family over filming break.” Chris started to explain.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, sweetheart.” Lisa interrupted. “You should just drive up to Y/n’s with Chris! There’s plenty of room and you know I always make too much food anyhow.”

Chris gave Tom a cocky grin. “That’s exactly what I was telling him, Ma!”

“You’re too kind.” Tom laughed. “I suppose you’ve made an offer I can’t refuse.”

“Don’t be silly. You’re always welcome with us.” Lisa reiterated. “We’re getting ready for bed since our flight is so damn early in the morning, so I’ll see you two tomorrow!”

“Thanks, Ma! Be safe!” Chris answered, hanging up the phone.

“Thank you.” Tom said, getting up from his make-up chair.

“I told you, it’s no biggie. We’re gonna have a blast.” Evans answered.

“When are we leaving?” Tom asked.

“Well, we’ve got a few options.” Chris answered as the two of them left the make-up trailer.

“Go on.”

“They aren’t expecting us there until tomorrow, but if we leave in the next few hours, we’ll actually beat them there.” Chris explained.

“I mean, I’m nowhere near tired.” Tom said, letting Chris know he was down for the drive.

“Same. I’ve been so excited for this trip, I feel wired.” He replied “Wanna pack and meet me at mine?”

“Absolutely.” Tom answered. “Anything specific I should pack?” He called loudly as the two had walked a distance apart.

“Dress comfy!” Chris yelled back. “And bring a jacket! It’s snowing!”

Tom waved and made his way to his trailer.

It was about an 8 or 9 hour drive up to the cabin, so the guys rolled up at about 3 in the morning.

“Is anybody else here?” Tom asked, as Chris navigated his truck up the snowy drive.

“Y/n’s here. She spends about half her time up here.” Chris answered, parking the truck and shooting you a text.

“Where does she spend the rest of her time?” Tom asked.

“Everywhere, really. She’s a writer. She’s even come and crashed with me while I was filming.” Chris answered, hopping out of the truck when he got your text reply.

“Books? Scripts?” Tom asked, curious what you wrote.

“Books, mostly. She’s got a few popular series, but she also has a few pen names that she refuses to tell me so I’ve always assumed she like consults or edits or something.” Chris answered.

“How mysterious.” Tom chucked, grabbing his bag and following Chris up to the house.

“Y/n!” Chris yelled into the cabin, leading Tom into the large home.

“Did you really work all day and then drive 8 hours?” you laughed, walking down the stairs.

“I just couldn’t wait to see that beautiful face.” Chris dropped his bag and pulled you into a bear hug.

“Sure. This definitely has nothing to do with you beating Scott to one of the big bedrooms.” You laughed, wrapping your arms around him.

“That’s just a perk.” He teased, introducing you to Tom. “I’m sure you know who this is. Y/n, Tom. Tom, Y/n.”

“Nice to meet you.” You replied, pulling Tom into a hug.

“It’s very nice to meet you too.” Tom said, happy to see that you seemed just as chill and down to earth as the rest of Chris’ friends and family.

“He had to bail on his plans to fly home for the break, so I convinced him to join our two weeks of amazing chaos and shenanigans.” Chris laughed.

“Amazing is right, bucko. I just got two hot tubs installed” you shared.

“Yes!” Chris half yelled.

“Also, mi casa es su casa, Tom. Make yourself at home.” You told him.

“Gracias.” Tom replied in Spanish.

“Any chance you two want to take a dip tonight before the rest of the pack arrives?” Chris asked, looking between you and Tom.

“Absolutely” you answered, walking towards the kitchen. “You both okay with Beer? I’ve got other options.”

“Beer for me.” Chris answered.

“Actually, a beer sounds rather refreshing at the moment.” Tom answered.

“I’ll grab the beer and you two can pick your rooms” you called from the kitchen.

“You down for the hot tub?” Chris asked Tom.

“I am, but I didn’t pack any swim shorts.” He answered.

“No worries, Y/n has a whole closet full of random stuff. Follow me.” Chris led Tom up the stairs. “Y/n’s room is at the very top, but there’s two rooms just below that. We can take those two. Let those with kiddos stay closest to the bottom floor.”

“Sounds good to me” Tom replied, dropping his bag on the bed before following Chris to your closet of misfit swim clothes, jackets, sleepwear, blankets, and other miscellaneous stuff.

When you made your way upstairs, you saw that the guys had picked the two rooms closest to yours. You weren’t surprised. They were the two biggest after yours and Chris never got to pick one of them because he was always the last to show up for his family get togethers.

“When you two get changed, head up to mine. The second hot tub is on my balcony.” You took the three unopened beers and went up the last set of stairs to get changed in your room. Your suit was a black balconette bikini top and a pair of black high waisted bikini bottoms. The top and bottom had a few strappy bits that accentuated your curves.

“Well hello there, sexy lady.” You heard Chris and his unending charm behind you as you were finishing getting your top all sorted.

“You guys get settled in?” you asked, nodding towards the beers.

Chris opened one and handed it to you. “We did.” As he opened another for himself and sat on your bed, he shared a bit about Tom. “I’m happy he tagged along. I don’t know what he’s got going on in his personal life because he doesn’t share a lot, but he needs a break like this.”

“Well, if I had to take a guess...” you took a swig of your beer. “You two get along great which makes me think he’s a down to earth, genuine person.”

“I agree” Chris replied.

“If you’ve seen any of the tabloids lately, they aren’t very friendly to the exes of the women he’s most recently dated. I’m going to assume he’s a bit overwhelmed and a bit worn out. It’s hard to stay genuine and down to earth when the media is writing about you as if you’re a scheming fuckboy.”

Chris took a swig of his beer. “I think you might be right. God, beauty and brains? Why won’t you marry me?” he teased.

“Like you could handle me” you teased right back.

“I’m going to go get more beer so we don’t have to leave the hot tub.” Chris stood and smacked your ass on the way out.

“How did I know you were going to do that?” you laughed.

Chris was laughing as he passed Tom. “I’ll meet you two up there.”

When Tom walked in, you opened the last of the three beers and handed it to him. “Pink suits you.” You noticed he was wearing the bright pink swim shorts from the closet.

Tom blushed and laughed as he took a sip of his beer. “It was this or ones with bananas all over them. I thought I’d make a bold choice.”

“Choice well made” you replied, opening the double doors to your balcony. “It’s going to be a short chilly journey to the hot tub, but heaven once you get in.”  

When you went to walk up the steps on the side of the hot tub to get in, Tom extended his arm so you could grab his hand. “Be careful.”

“Thank you.” You couldn’t help but smile.

“God, I leave for two minutes and you two are already holding hands.” Chris snarked as he joined the two of you on the balcony. You and Tom both laughed as you walked down into the hot tub and let go of his hand. “What’s he got that I don’t got?” Chris was fake sniffling as he climbed into the hot tub after Tom.

“Oh, sweetie. I don’t think you want to know the answer to that question.” You answered, finishing the beer in your hand.

“Now I really want to know” Chris replied, opening and handing you a second beer.

“Are you two always like this?” Tom laughed.

You and Chris looked at each other and answered “yeah” at the same time.

After the three of you had spent about a half hour in the hot tub just talking and laughing, Tom cleared his throat. “Thank you for this.”

“For what?” you asked. He was sat between you and Chris, the three of you looking out at the beautiful snowy mountain view.

“Chris, for inviting me. You, for having me. Both of you for forcing me to get out of my own head.” Tom answered.

“You don’t need to thank us.” Chris replied, slapping Tom on the shoulder.

“He’s right, you know.” You smiled, looping your arm through his and leaning your head on his shoulder, looking back out at the view. “You’re pretty great company if I do say so myself.”

“Well, if I can’t thank you, at least let me share my appreciation of you both.” Tom replied, pressing a quick kiss to the top of your head.

“Just wait until the whole pack shows up” Chris laughed. “It’s calm now, but you’re going to have plenty of distractions once the shenanigans start.”

“Remember, my room is the safe zone” you laughed. “No kids, it’s off-limits during games, and it’s the only access to this balcony.”

“I’ll keep that in mind” Tom chuckled.

Chris looked over and saw you cuddled into Tom’s side. “Why do I get the feeling you’re ‘appreciating’ Y/n over there a lot more than you are me” he teased.

You laughed and Tom looked over at Chris. “If you wanted a snuggle, that’s all you had to say.”

The three of you were all laughing, the lateness of the night sinking in. “If I snuggle anyone I’m going to fall asleep, and I have a feeling that’s not the best idea in a hot tub.” He stood up and hopped over the side, almost slipping on the icy balcony floor.

“What time is everyone arriving tomorrow?” you asked, not moving from your spot at Tom’s side.

“Well, they always grab breakfast down at that old little diner after they land, so maybe 11?” Chris answered, wrapping himself in a towel.

“You mean we actually get to sleep in?” you said with a bit of exaggerated shock.

“I don’t think it counts as sleeping in if you don’t go to bed until after the sun starts peaking over the mountains.” Tom teased you.

Chris laughed. “Hey, we’ll take it. Sleep is going to be a rare commodity around here for at least a few days.” He left the balcony and went back inside to warm up.

“I can’t wait.” Tom said.

“Me either. I love when they come up here. Always makes this place feel more like home.” You shared, moving to get out of the hot tub.

“I think the chaos is something I miss when I don’t get to spend time with my family.” Tom replied, once again grabbing your hand and making sure you made it safely out of the hot tub and onto the balcony. “I think having all of my nieces and nephews running around and the fact that there is always something cooking or baking…It’s hard to feel alone.”

You handed Tom a large towel and wrapped another one around yourself. “Well, if that’s your idea of a great time, you’re going to love your time with Chris’ family. They’re love and chaos and great food with a dash of an extreme love of competition.”

Tom followed you back into the house. “Well, again. I appreciate that I’m able to experience it.”

“Me too” you said, drying your hair a bit with your towel. “It sounds like you needed a bit of an escape.”

“That’s one way to put it” Tom said, drying off.

“Well, if you need anything just come find me, okay?” You could hear Chris coming back up the stairs to your room.

“Thank you, I will.” Tom replied, seeming to hesitate for a second. “I’ve enjoyed spending time with you tonight. Or this morning, rather.” He laughed.

You couldn’t help but smile as you threw your towel into the clothes hamper. You were a very confident person. You were proud of who you were, and you loved your curvy body, but all of a sudden you felt very naked standing there in your bikini. Tom’s genuine compliment and the way he confidently looked you up and down left you with goosebumps. “The feeling is definitely mutual.”

“Let me know if I can help with anything. Preparations and such.” Tom mentioned as Chris walked in.

“Don’t worry about that, Ma usually takes over when she gets here.” Chris laughed.

You shrugged. “True” you added, both grateful for and irritated by the interruption.  

“Y/n, I checked that all of the doors were locked. Our trucks are both locked too. I’m gonna pass out and shower when I wake up.” Chris let you know.

“Thanks” you replied. “I’ll probably hop in the shower before I go to bed so that I can help your mom sort meals and such out when she gets here.”

“Sweet. I’m going to bed.” Chris interrupted himself with a yawn. “I will see both of you in a few hours”

As Chris headed back down a floor to his room, Tom cleared his throat. “I really don’t mind helping.”

“You’ll eventually get roped into doing something, I promise.” You laughed.

Tom nodded and smiled. “Well then, I’m going to go shower and sleep. I’ll see you in a bit.”

As Tom turned to walk down the stairs, you spoke. “Try to relax.” When he turned to look at you, you continued. “You have nothing to worry about for two whole weeks. No schedule, no paparazzi, no expectations…just, let yourself enjoy it, okay?”

Tom smiled and nodded his head. He replied “I think I will” before continuing down the stairs.

Instead of your alarm, you were woken up by Chris crawling into your bed. “Y/n.” He was trying to wake you up gently. “Y/n!”

“Did my alarm not go off?” you asked, rolling over and snuggling into Chris.

He chuckled, wrapping his arms around you. “I underestimated my mother’s planning. Turns out they got to the diner at 8 this morning and they’re currently unloading the cabs downstairs.”

“What time is it?” you asked.

“9:30” Chris replied, the two of you hearing someone coming up the stairs.

“I’m going to need coffee” you mumbled.

Tom made it to the top of the stairs and saw you and Chris together in your bed. He tucked the thought away, making note to ask Chris about the two of you later. “Not a morning person?” he asked, laughing at your messy bed head and request for caffeine.

“I can be when I need to be, but we were awake and drinking on my balcony like four hours ago” you replied.

“Can I make you some coffee?” Tom offered.

You rolled over and sat up sorting out your messy hair. “I can make it. I just need to get dressed.”

Chris rolled out of your bed, going to your closet. “Bra, leggings, sweater, fuzzy socks.” Chris tossed your clothes onto your bed.

“You know me so well.” You laughed, gathering your clothes and getting out of bed. “I’ll be down in a few.”

“I think they’re finished unloading, but I’ll go see if there’s anything else they need help with.” Tom replied, heading downstairs.

“I’m offended that you two look like you’ve just had 12 hours of beauty sleep.” You teased Chris, pulling your leggings on.

“I think you’re underestimating yourself” Chris said, turning to leave. “You’ve definitely caught someone’s attention.” Chris had noticed the way Tom looked at the two of you cuddled up in your bed and planned on asking him about it later.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you sleepily asked, but Chris was already gone.

You finished getting dressed in your long, oversized sweater and fuzzy socks and walked downstairs to greet Chris’ family.

“Y/n!” Chris’ sisters greeted, pulling you each into a hug, the three of you quickly catching up.

Then came Scott, who practically tackled you. “Bitch, it has been too long.”

“Agreed.” You replied, the two of you making plans to go get stuff for drinks tonight.

You’d said a few hellos and given a few hugs to various other friends and family and eventually you made your way to the kitchen with Tom and Lisa, Chris’ mom.

“Oh, my dear, it’s so good to see you.” Lisa pulled you into a tight hug, kissing both of your cheeks. “I can’t believe the boys showed up at three this morning!”

You laughed. “It’s good to see you too. And Chris warned me a few days ago that he would probably drive up after he finished filming.”

Looking over you saw Tom holding a mug of coffee out towards you. “For me?” You reached out and took the mug from him.

“It’s the least I could do. Lisa told me how you take your coffee.” He answered, nodding towards Chris’ mom.

You took a sip, humming to yourself. “Thank you, this is perfect.” You pressed a quick kiss to Tom’s cheek before hearing Chris’ niece call for you.

“In the kitchen, sweetie” you called back out, walking towards where you heard her call from.

As the adults started getting settled into their rooms, the kids were all starting to crash from the hectic morning they’d had.

“Let’s watch a movie in the den, guys.” You suggested, grabbing blankets and pillows and throwing them on the couches and floor so that the kids would spread out and nap.

“What are we gonna watch?” one of his nephews asked.

“Well, we’ve got Goosebumps, we’ve got School of Rock, and we’ve got Bedtime Stories.” You read the movies aloud, with the kids all picking Goosebumps. About 15 minutes in, all of you were asleep in various places in the room.

Scott, Chris, and Tom were bundled up in their jackets talking on the back porch as Chris set up your grill and got it ready to use.

“So how long have you guys known Y/n?” Tom asked.

“Oh, god. It’s been…I don’t even know. It’s been years.” Chris thought about how long you guys had been friends.

“Chris met Y/n one day in New York. She was there for a book project or something and Chris had ducked inside her apartment building to get away from paparazzi.” Scott laughed, remembering Chris tell him the story.

Chris let out a big laugh. “She was getting ready to walk out and I practically ran into her. When she realized why I so rudely shoved my way into the building, she asked me ‘Do you want to do something very immature but totally worth it?’ I had to, right?”

Scott continued the story. “She led him up to her apartment and ran inside. Chris just waited at the door wondering what he’d gotten himself into when she popped back out, holding a box of water balloons.”

Tom laughed. “Oh, please tell me you threw them at the paparazzi.”

“They did. They filled a bin full of them and went to the roof.” Scott replied.

“I have never made a friend so quickly in my life” Chris said. “We got through about half of the bin before they left. Even better, they never got a picture of me throwing the balloons. The tabloids alluded to the fact that it was me, but we never officially got caught.”

“I don’t know if she adopted us or if we adopted her, but she’s been family ever since.” Scott added.

“Either way, she’s the best kind of people.” Chris said, closing the lid on the grill.

“I can see that.” Tom replied. After a short pause, he continued. “Have you two ever…dated?”

Chris grinned, remembering how Tom had looked at the two of you cuddled up in your bed. “Nah, she’s one of my best friends. Possibly my actual best friend.” he answered, sitting down next to the other two guys.

“Even though I’m sure ma would love it if you two got together.” Scott laughed.

“I think ma just wants both of us to settle down and have kids like the girls did.” Chris replied. “She treats Y/n like a daughter.”

Scott looked back at Tom. “Why the interest in Y/n’s dating life, huh?” he teased him.

“Just curious” Tom answered with straightest face he could manage.

“I don’t know” Chris continued, continuing to tease Tom. “You two looked awfully cozy last night.”

Tom’s cheeks blushed a bit before he could answer. “If a beautiful woman laid her head on your shoulder, what would you have done?”

“Fair point.” Chris laughed. “She’s single, you know” he added.

“She is” Scott echoed, smirking. “And I have a date to go shopping with her if you want me to see if she’s interested.”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves” Tom replied, failing miserably at hiding his grin.

“No rush” Scott answered, putting his hands up. “I’m just saying…”

“Give him a break” Chris interrupted. “He’s got two weeks to see where things go.”

“True” Scott replied.

Part 2