#re-post because i accidentally deleted | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

howlettloki · 7 days ago

Text

Less smut, more meaningful words with such eloquence, well executed plot, characterizations and world building.

A Loki (Marvel)/Reader Fic Recommendation

If you’re like me, who loves to read longer fics then this blog post is for you. This list features beautiful books I have read featuring Loki and the reader for the past 5 years. This is long overdue I have been planning to do this for a while now. I’ll do my best to share all of them in one post (might probably edit this once I remember more). One thing, I really love when an author finds a way to not use Y/N. Enjoy the list!

Completed Fics

Frostbite by Maiden_of_Asgard

Synopsis:

Iceland is nice - sure, you probably should’ve picked a time of year when the weather was a little warmer, but it isn’t too bad, and at least you’re away from your desk job, right? It’s a pretty big adventure.

You’ve always said that you wanted more adventure in your life.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This one you’ve probably read, if not go check it out. It’s one of the best out there. I mean, need I say more?

The Proposal by BirdsofHermes

Synopsis:

An AU gender-reversal of the 2009 romantic comedy The Proposal. You work for Loki Laufeyson at Asgard International Publishing. He accidentally lets his work Visa expire and is about to be deported back to England, so he blurts out that he's marrying you. Now you have to convince an immigration inspector as well as your own family that you're in love with Loki or he gets deported for life and you face five years jail time.

Review:

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I have read this more than one can count fingers in their hands.

Broken Crown by Michelleleahhh

Synopsis:

Your betrothal to Thor was convenient - brokered as an alliance between two powerful families.

Your marriage to Loki... is unimaginable.

Review:

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Please proceed with caution and read the tags. When I read this the first time, I was new to this world but I remembered enjoying reading this piece. I just recently re-read this, and I just found some minor stuff I didn’t really enjoy. Overall the story and the plot got me hooked however, there’s just few chapters that I feel could’ve been explored more and executed better. Still, I enjoyed reading this the second time around.

Fǫruneyti by Evaldrynn

Synopsis:

A story in which a herbalist makes a decision that will drastically change her life, and in which a prince begins to realise that there might still be hope for him yet. A tale of danger, adventure, friendship - and, ultimately, love.

Review:

⭐️⭐️⭐️✨

This one I stopped reading at 70%, I have certain icks when it comes to reading and once I reach that ick jar I’m done. It was still beautifully written, got me hooked and all, loved the progress. What can I say, I love slow burns.

The Devil Inside by Ursus_minor

Synopsis:

You're a free lance artist and just running short of rent money for the month, so when your good buddy Thor offers you a one-off job at his sister's company, you take it - even though helping his little brother out with some paperwork sounds awfully tedious

I always wondered what Loki, Hela and Thor would do if they were 'mere mortals'

Review:

⭐️⭐️⭐️✨

It’s deleted but I was lucky enough to have read this way back 2020. It was one of my favorite back then, because it was hard to find a long fic where Loki is not the God of Mischief but just a mere mortal living amongst us. I honestly forgot most about this story, I only remember bits and pieces, you’re Thor’s best friend and he helped you gain money by working under Loki, like the synopsis said.

A Study In Suit by lowkeyorloki

Synopsis:

You've worked too damn hard to get into Professor Laufeyson's course, and you're not about to let your pesky attraction to him get in the way. Your Professor, however, has other plans.

Review:

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Professor Loki. That’s it.

From the Void, With Love by pilotisms

Synopsis:

Torn from time, you have to navigate the TVA with the one person who singlehandedly tried to conquer NYC. Turns out you & him have a future-past. Time is weird.

Review:

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This is one of the best I’ve read, this is my second to The Proposal. I fucking love this you have no idea. Wished there was a longer sequel though.

Litklœði by GoldTrimmedSpectacles

Synopsis:

“And the sire promised that he would spend the rest of his days searching for the cure of the flower disease which took his friend. And he did find this cure, but not without a cost,” Frigga explained and stroked Loki’s head as the illusions vanished. “But now, when one is fraught with flowers in their chest, a völva can remove these flowers with seiðr – saving the victim’s life and removing the vines from their lungs.”

The Allmother paused and looked at your small, childish face. Her smile was kind and full, but her eyes lay empty and sad. The knowledge of yet to come lay heavy on her features.

However, be warned my child, that with the removal of lung flowers the feelings of unrequited love will be removed too. As will any remaining trace of friendship. So be careful how you give your heart, my dear. You may never know what you could lose.

Review:

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Hanahaki Disease AU? Anyone? This one is from my previous blog post. Pure feelings. Loved young loki and young reader.

In Progress or Abandoned Gems

Mea Culpa by OlympianWine

Synopsis:

Six years ago yours and Loki's relationship came to an abrupt and messy end, leaving resentment and hurt in its wake. Now you haven't heard a whisper of him in years, until he turns up at his brother's wedding, seemingly changed for the better, and you're thrust into facing both him and the memories you had buried. But a dangerous figure from Loki's past looms overhead, and Thanos is determined to hunt Loki down and make him pay for betraying him.

Review:

💔💔💔💔💔

I mean based on the synopsis who wouldn’t want to read that? Last update was last year, here’s to hoping it’ll update more or I’m gonna have to kms.

Anagapesis by OlympianWine

Synopsis:

You have a perfect life; a loving husband, a beautiful baby. But when it all comes crashing down, you must put survival ahead of sentiment and turn to a darker prince - your husband's brother. Loki is cruel and cold, and he hates you with a burning passion. Or so you think.

Review:

💔💔💔💔

Just when you think you’re falling, he makes you remember what type of person he is. I feel for Loki, but he’s just cruel man. I wish there was more so I could understand him a bit more.

Seiðmaðr by GoldTrimmedSpectacles

Synopsis:

Amidst the fallen brethren of the Vanaheimr war against Muspelheim, the dark prince of Asgard finds himself lost and riddled with amnesia. His words are barbed, his tongue is gilded and his eyes are sharp. He has no recollection of his name or family, but he soon comes to realise that perhaps it is best for the past to be shadowed by the future, and that life as a beloved commoner is better than life as a miserable prince.

Review:

💔💔💔💔💔

I’m a sucker for fantasy and a well executed world building. I love how I’m instantly transported into the world created by the author and I feel alive inside. I wish there was a way to find out what happens next. I just love this so much I wish there was more.

77 notes · View notes

loquarocoeur · 6 months ago

Text

Loquarocoeur info:

Firstly: Obligatory mature content warning

Hi, my name is Alex

Alternatively I am also referred to as loquarocoeur, loq, loquacker, loquawhatever, or other varieties of my username, and when I deserve it I will also accept several insults including but not limited to heartless bitch (re: Casual)

I do have other interests, but this is mostly an F1 blog

You probably know me from my Ao3 (Probably Yours Verse or Casual)

I think I'm mainly known as that insane Lestappen bottom Max/top Charles enthusiast, otherwise also a Landoscar enjoyer who lied about how much angst there would be in Casual (sorry again)

Lestappen complete masterlist here

Landoscar complete masterlist here

I am also a full time student with a busy life, so when the ask box is randomly off, I don't hate you, I'm just busy<3

I don't do much on here except answer asks, which sometimes turn into discussions, mainly yours verse

Other tags are not important, they're mainly for my personal organisation

FAQs under the cut:

FAQs:

What is that keyboard smash of a username?

My username is first and foremost stupid, secondly too old to change, and thirdly a silly mashup of the words loquacious (talkative) and coeur (heart in French)

Are you not answering my ask because I'm being annoying/rude/upsetting?

My ask box has occasionally gotten very busy, sometimes I miss asks, accidentally delete them, sometimes tumblr eats them, sometimes I forget about them until it's too late for it not to be weird, sometimes I'm just very busy or having another discussion and will get back to you. Occasionally I have a lot to yap about with you and need a while to gather my thoughts If you're being rude, hateful, or annoying I will absolutely also delete your asks, but this is very rare, don't worry about it I also might ignore asks about drama, I don't like arguing with anonymous askers about drama in the fandom, I value my peace and happiness and am not making internet enemies, so I prefer to rant about my opinions to my irl friends or my mutuals

Do you make banner posts or announcement posts when you post fics?

No, sorry, I'm lazy. Maybe I will do some arts and crafts if I write another long fic, but my home is ao3, tumblr is just where I yap, I'm not here to make work for myself I think you guys get ao3 emails if you subscribe to my account or a series? idk. Otherwise you'll hear about it in the asks probably

Do you accept requests?

No, but I'm always open to ideas, questions, and inspiration and I'll negotiate art for fic with mutuals if it comes up

#lestappen #landoscar #f1 #masterpost #fic links #loq fic

108 notes · View notes

olive-fics · 1 year ago

Text

☆Abby comforting FEM reader after nightmare☆

Hi! I would like to mention rq this was a request but I'm actually super duper stupid and accidentally deleted the request.. I absolutely LOVED this idea. <3 sorry for lack of posts! writers block tbh.kjfkldsjkljsk

Use of Y/N a few times, fluff, Y'know.. the usual. (Not proof read and probably many typos, bare with me.)

For the girls and the gays.. Men DNI! (Please. <3)

-This was one of the first nights "away" from Abby, your girlfriend. Abby was off at work for one of her first nightshifts this month at the office. Abby knew this would be hard on both of you so she promised she would put in her best effort to keep you happy, even with these new shift hours.

All day you felt crazy without Abby's touch.. Her hugs from behind, neck kisses and nuzzles. Hell, you're still trying to savor the soft kisses and hug Abby gave you before she left for work that morning.

As much as you do miss Abby, you can't even lie about how much she makes.. Because fuck, does her job pay well.

Abby spoils the shit out of you whenever she can, She never spoiled you in that rich people bullshit and fancy brands stuff but truly, if you wanted any of that she would buy it for you. Abby liked to spend her money on good memories.. EX: Trips, Dinners, occasional video games to play with you.. But you get it. She loves you and works hard so you're happy.

As much as money was important for bills and taxes it's not what you really needed. What you really needed was her physical touch.. Why did she have to take these night shifts??

You sat in bed trying to pass time by watching shitty cable tv, you couldn't even watch the current Netflix show you and Abby were watching together or she'd get upset, even though that's all you wanted right now. To make Abby upset, she made you upset? Why not get her upset for taking these shifts. Of course you could never betray Abby like that though so...push aside those evil thoughts Y/n.

All you could think about was the sound of Abby coming home.. Her coat and keys being placed on the counter with her boots dropping with a thud in the kitchen floor.

You weren't lazy all day of course, you did all that house wife shit like cleaning the house, making dinner, and buying groceries. Abby of course appreciated your work you did for her but she thought you were so lonely when she's not home.. "You need friends Y/n, please go join a book club or go to the gym.. you can make friends--"

When you sat in bed you couldn't even sleep, you haven't slept alone since you and Abby had first started dating.. You eventually fell asleep with Abby's pillow, inhaling her pine soap scent as you slept with another pillow between your legs as a replacement for Abby.. As much as it was embarrassing for how much you needed Abby it somewhat helped.

As you were sleeping Abby had finally came home, the click on the front door was quiet, Abby knew you were asleep with how dark the house was and how you didn't get up from the couch or something to hug her. The only Light she could see was the lamp in the living room and the Tv light from your guy's shared bedroom.

Abby had gone to bathroom to brush her teeth, wash her face off and change into some pajamas.

The longer you slept that's when your shitty re-appearing dream had appeared when you were stressed. Abby knew too, she heard your little mumbles and saw the little beads of sweat on your forehead..

"Y/n? baby?" She whispered to you, not to frighten you but to hopefully wake you up slowly. You didn't get up. Of course Abby had to have a heavy sleeping girlfriend.

Abby got in bed behind you, wrapping her forearm around you, pulling you into her chest. She tucked her right leg between both of yours and smelled your hair. God she missed the smell of you and the house. Abby rubbed soft circles on your back and thigh to comfort you incase you woke up.. and you did, horrified.

Gasping you woke up in a pool of your sweat and Abby's arms around you..

"Hey.. Hey calm down Y/n.. it's me.. I'm right here.." Abby whispered into your ear and kept trying to calm you down.

"It was just a bad dream.. I'm home now.." Abby gave soft kisses on your neck instantly calming you down. Finally.. Abby was home and that's all that mattered..

"Missed me huh sweet girl?.." Abby rocked you in her arms as you just turned around and wrapped your own arms around her.

"Missed you so much Abigail.. Please don't take those night shifts.. Please.." You begged her in your sleepy, teary eyed voice.

"Oh Y/n... I'll see what I can do princess." Abby ran her big fingers through your hair and kissed you softly, her minty breath made you sigh contently.

"Goodnight Y/n.." Abby hushed you to sleep again, and you did. Perfectly. ☆

Ahh ok hi I know I haven't posted in a few days but trust me.. I've been writing stuff!!!

☆ SMALL NOTE: Please stop sending me pure vents in the anonymous asking thing! It doesn't bother me but I'd feel bad about posting about it y'know? Just give me a general request! That's it! ☆

Sleep well!

#tlou fic #abby tlou #abby the last of us #fanfic #lesbian #wlw #abby anderson x reader #tlou fanfiction #abby anderson #comfort #cuddling #romantic #abby x you #abby anderson fluff #abby anderson x female reader #tlou2 #tlou #anonymous

394 notes · View notes

hisunshiine · 1 year ago

Text

—i kiss your waist and ease your mind [6/7]

Part 6 of 7 of the Seven Days Series ↣ series masterlist

🗓️pairing: nurse!jungkook x teacher!reader 🗓️au/genre: non-idol au, brother’s friend au, fwb, age-gap(reader is older), f2l, fluff, angst, smut 🗓️rating: M 🗓️wc: 6,323 + text message 🗓️warnings: angst, mentions of Gwangju Uprising, casualties from the Uprising, hospitals, argument, hurt feelings, minor character death, grief explicit sexual content: unprotected sex, creampie, grief/comfort sex? 🗓️an 0.5: WELL, THE POST WAS ACCIDENTALLY DELETED AND ONLY SHOWS IN CERTAIN SITUATIONS, SO I HAD TO RE-UPLOAD. 🗓️an: well, well, well…back again for some pain, are you? I would apologize for how this ends, but it’s necessary for the set up of the final day of the week, and truly, I think it makes the final day that much more better if we have to hurt a little bit more, right? Thank you for reading, and again, I appreciate my beta readers for all of their help! 🗓️summary: “i kiss your waist and ease your mind.” The only thing that could make you feel better is the same thing that made you feel worse. You and Jungkook are both confused with your emotions, but two different stories help you both see a bit more clearly. The only problem is that when the two of you get around each other, clarity goes bye-bye. don’t let these soft lyrics fool you; make up sex doesn’t actually solve any issues if sex is the only communication that happens.

Taglist: @sizzlingfestpeach @mochminnie @jungkooksmytype @kookslastbutton @taebangtanbabe @bbtsficrecs @jk97bam it’s not letting me tag you (if joining the taglist, please think about reblogging with tags/leaving feedback!)

Last night could not have been any worse for Jungkook—well, he’s sure it could have—but luckily the worst that could’ve been, had not come to be. Today, however, is proving itself to be a challenge in its own right. Jungkook knew he had to work early in the morning, but was alright with going out last night because he was with you.

Last night honestly had been turning into a great night—the way you had silently laid your claim to him at the club, possessive of him in a healthy way—Jungkook thought things were progressing in the right direction. And clearly, you did, too. Hell, he knew he was all over you last night. Knew that he was taking a huge risk in advancing the relationship past friends with benefits when he threw all caution out the window to kiss you like that in front of your friends, but at the time, Jungkook didn’t care.

And now? Well, that would be a different story, seeing as now that several people know that you’re the one he’s been fucking every night, they might all think something more should come from this situation. Jungkook doesn’t know what to tell them if they ask, and he’s been avoiding Jimin every chance he gets during his shift so far, because he doesn’t really know what to say. He walks to the nurses station to grab his oversized water bottle, drinking several large gulps before being interrupted.

“Jeon, we have a case that’s just moved over to us, can you help?” Park Soo-hyun, the head nurse for the shift, asks him. As he lowers the semi-transparent canister, he takes in her cotton candy pink hair, which is mussed in a few places; the corners of her eyes are pinched with stress.

“Yeah, no problem.” Jungkook sets the bottle back on the shelf, and follows the shorter Nurse Park down the hallway to the right of the nurses station and watches as she pauses at the elevators to press the call button. Jungkook slows his walk and raises an eyebrow at his fellow nurse.

“Sorry, we need the help on another unit,” she shrugs, elbow extending her arm to pass Jungkook a slim tablet with the patient's info pulled up.

“Honestly, that’s perfect.” Escaping to a different floor means almost zero percent chance of Jungkook running into Jimin, so he strolls into the elevator with no regrets.

Jungkook scrolls past the general information to see just exactly what he’s dealing with as the metal carriage rises.

His heart breaks a little when he sees that this case is a hospice care one—a focus on the quality of life at the end of it. He follows Nurse Park, barely noticing as he puts one foot after the other, approaching the room. There are several acronyms listed in bold to the left of the door. This clues him into the fact that the goal has shifted from treatment care to comfort.

Jungkook sees a sleeping, elderly woman in the hospital bed closest to the window, her grey hair pulled away from her face in a short ponytail. Next to her side is a similarly (he assumes) aged man, holding her wrinkled hand in his own. It is a sight that tugs at Jungkook’s heart; he doesn’t usually struggle with the elderly, just small children who end up in this unit, but with how he’s currently feeling about you, he thinks it's impacting him more than he’s used to.

“Mr. Kim? This is Nurse Jeon. He’ll be with you and your wife for most of today,” Soo-Hyun says kindly as she pats Jungkook’s back in a motherly nature. “Please let him know if you need anything, okay?” She passes Jungkook a small phone, which he pockets, and leaves him in the sunlit room. He steps closer, pulling up the doctor’s chair to sit; a small, rolling, cushioned stool in hospital green. He glances at their names on the whiteboard. Patient: Jung Min-Ji, Spouse: Kim Tae-Woo.

“Hi, Mr. Kim,” Jungkook starts, voice gentle and quiet so as not to disturb the sleeping woman.

“Hello,” Mr. Kim replies, voice weathered with time and wisdom. “We’re okay, son, you don’t need to sit with this old man.”

Jungkook is no stranger to the phrases the older generation tend to say when in this position. The feelings of being a burden on the hospital staff, guilt for brief thoughts blaming their loved one for being in this position, grief that they could possibly lose their loved one—they’re all valid emotions, and a lot for a person to bear. Especially an elderly man who appears to be carrying this weight alone. Instead of responding to his statement, Jungkook changes the topic. “How did the two of you meet?”

The man’s eyes sparkle to life as he looks at Jungkook’s eager face. “Oh, we’ve known each other since we were kids. She was the most beautiful girl in the village, and I was just some dumb kid who followed her around like a puppy. She’s older than me, you see, and I was the annoying little brother of her best friend.” He smiles fondly at her sleeping form, and Jungkook feels his chest grow tight. “She used to hate my guts. My friends and I would terrorize her and her friends, pull their ponytails, leave frogs in their backpacks, all the terrible things thirteen-year-old boys would do to pretty girls they were afraid to talk to.”

“No wonder she hated you, Mr. Kim!” Jungkook laughs. “I’m guessing you finally stopped tormenting her if she ended up married to you?” Jungkook points out.

“Yes, yes.” The man chortles fondly as he reminisces. “I finally grew up, and realized that treating her badly was not the way to her heart. A little too late, though. She ended up married to some other punk in the neighborhood. He wisened up a little faster than I did, told her how he felt one winter, and they were married by the time the cherry blossoms bloomed.” He sighs, and Jungkook tilts his head, questioning. “Oh, I was distraught. I couldn’t do anything about it, though, I realized that I missed my chance, busy playing games. I ended up married to one of her friends, and well, we spent the next fifteen years circling each other.”

“Wow, that must’ve been hard to deal with.” Jungkook can’t imagine being in his shoes. Or well, he can, but he doesn’t want to imagine that future for himself. Doesn’t want to see a future where he stands in suit and tie to take wedding photos, and it’s not you next to him in them.

“Oh, I loved her enough, my ex-wife, but I think she always knew deep down that she wasn’t…she wasn’t Min-Ji.” Jungkook can see his hand tighten imperceptibly around his wife’s frail one. “We never had kids, and when I came home from work one day to find her waiting with her things packed...I think I always knew that day would come.”

“So, how did you end up winning over Min-Ji?” Jungkook is intrigued by the man’s story. He doesn’t know what he would do in this situation.

“Oh, I wouldn’t call it that. She was thirty-two with a new-born daughter, and left a widow after the Gwangju Uprising. Her husband was one of the many lost that summer. I was freshly twenty-eight, newly single, with an empty house, and still in love with her. I stepped up as her friend, offering her and her daughter a place to live and slowly we became a family. I asked her to marry me a couple years later and she said yes.” Kim Tae-Woo’s eyes water, and even in the dimly lit room, Jungkook can see the love he has for the woman in front of him.

“That’s an amazing story, Mr. Kim. I’m glad you found each other.”

“Oh, me too. She’s given me everything I never knew I wanted. Three children and the best forty-three years of my life. She’s my everything.” He turns back to Jungkook, a look on his face that he can’t read. “Do you have someone, Nurse Jeon? Someone you love more than your own life?”

The question throws Jungkook for a loop, because the whole time his patient’s spouse was telling their story, there was only one person who crossed his mind. You. He hesitates to answer, but Mr. Kim was honest with him, and Jungkook is sure that he can be vulnerable with this man, too.

“Yeah, I think I do.”

—————

“Stop staring at your phone and moping, oh my god.” Yoongi rolls his eyes at your mood, whispering to Leah about how you’re the rain cloud following them around, ready to ruin the wedding tomorrow.

You glance at the message one last time before locking your phone and stuffing it into your hoodie’s front pocket.

You hate that you and Jungkook ended the night like you did, even more that he didn’t text you his usual morning text. The thumbs-up emoji haunted your dreams last night, and you barely slept, waking up throughout the night. The bags under your eyes reflect the nightmares, a fact your annoying little brother enjoyed pointing out when they picked you up at 10 AM.

-10 am flashback

“Shush Yoongi!” Leah berated him gently, “need I remind you how you looked after our almost break-up?”

“Hey! I thought we promised never to bring that up again!” Yoongi pouted the whole trip to the wedding venue for the final review of the plans.

-end

You sit back in the chair, your head facing away from the floor-to-ceiling window of the wedding venue, wishing not for the first (or even second) time that things had gone down differently last night. Sorting through all of your feelings is a lot harder than you thought it would be. Especially with your brother’s looming nuptials while seated in a decorated wedding hall.

“I’m not moping, jackass.” You pick at non-existent lint on the sleeve of your hoodie before tilting your head back and allowing the hood to fall off. “I just don’t know what to do with myself.”

“We’re almost done. Leah is just dropping off the last of the checks for the vendors, and we are running through the ‘Day-Of’ itinerary one last time with the planner. Then we can grab some lunch, and you can fill us in on the troubles running through that head of yours.”

“Sushi?” You make your eyes big and pout your bottom lip as you turn your head to look your brother in the face. He looks good; his hair is freshly done with an undercut cropped close to his head and the top layers falling in organized, chaotic layers. He has a healthy glow about him that screams ‘happy and in love’, that makes you feel wisps of green envy. His face breaks out into a smile, eyes disappearing in delight.

“Of course, princess. Whatever you want, if it means you’ll be in a better mood.”

Hearing Yoongi call you ‘princess’ reminds you of Jungkook, and you turn away again, hiding your crestfallen look as Leah walks back into the room with the wedding planner. Yoongi leaves you to join his soon-to-be wife’s side, shaking hands with the wedding planner as they bid her goodbye and motion for you to meet them at the exit.

Finally supplied with sustenance, you feel a little better as you chew and swallow the tempura-fried shrimp drizzled in spicy aioli sauce. Though that feeling dissipates a bit when Yoongi sets a deliberate gaze on you.

“Spill it. I know you're moping about Jungkook, but what happened? Do I have to kill him?” he attempts to make you smile, but the joke falls flat with you today.

“To be honest, it all happened really fast. One second we were good, really good. And then he just kind of shut down and called me a taxi and kicked me out at like 2 AM.”

“Wait, that dickhead kicked you out at 2 AM? I should fucking kill him! What if something had happened to you?” Yoongi’s ears are red and his eyes glint in anger. Leah reaches out a hand to soothe him as you speak quickly to do the same.

“Nothing happened to me. I’m a big girl, Yoongi. I’m pretty sure I said some hurtful things to him, and if the situation was reversed, I would’ve asked him to leave, too. If I had been a little more sober, I probably would’ve left on my own volition instead of getting into an argument.”

“If you don’t mind me asking,” Leah cuts in tentatively, “you do like Jungkook, right? Like not just as a friend?”

Your face says everything your mouth won’t as you shift in your seat. Leah nods knowingly, and Yoongi takes a deep breath.

“Okay. You’ve already told Mom and Dad that you’re dating him or whatever, so what’s holding you back from taking that step with him if you like him so much?”

It takes everything in you to not cut your eyes at him. You see Leah cover her mouth; the mirth there doesn’t match the situation, but she can’t help but feel like her very smart and emotionally aware fiance is missing some important social factors. You don’t blame her for the smile, in fact, you welcome it, knowing full well that she gets it.

“What’s holding me back? Maybe that conversation with Mom earlier this week, where she nagged at me for being single and not giving her grandkids, and then when I told her I was seeing someone, she ridiculed Jungkook’s age? Or how about the fact that the stupid goth art teacher talked shit about how young Jungkook was?” You shake your head, defeated. “Everyone judges the relationship between me and Jungkook, before it’s even a relationship. So what happens when it is real?”

“What changed?” Leah’s brows are furrowed, and you can see her mind sorting through the information you’ve given, or lack thereof. “Something must have happened to make what you had going no longer work for either of you, right?”

You decide to trust them both and tell the truth of what happened.

“So after we left the club, we went back to his place since it was late. Taehyung, Jimin, and Hoseok are now fully aware that there’s something between me and Jungkook because he wasn’t exactly subtle. To be fair, I didn’t stop him either, so I guess if I’m being honest, we weren’t exactly subtle. We get back to his place, and it’s business as usual.” Yoongi grimaces as he reaches for his whiskey, downing the entire thing as you skim most of the sex, though a memory surfaces as you let the night replay in your mind.

“Oh god!” You slap your hands to your face, covering your mouth. “I just remembered…I kind of let slip that I loved him while having sex,” you mumble into your hands, head dropping down in embarrassment. “And then right afterwards he’s receiving a ‘you up?’ text from SoHee—with a fucking topless picture!—and I just lost it. There was an argument, which I honestly can barely remember what was said. We were both so mad, you know?”

“Wow, no wonder you were mad. I’m guessing he didn’t say anything about your confession,” Leah questions, validating your feelings in a way that warms your heart. You definitely think you and your new sister-in-law (as of tomorrow) will get along great.

“No, he didn’t. And it’s not even that he has to say it back or anything, I didn’t say it for that reason, but the fact that we just had—”

“Please don’t say it again!” Yoongi interrupts.

“I wasn’t! Anyways, the fact that we just had such an intimate moment happen, and here comes SoHee texting Jungkook her perky tits asking if he’s awake? I know a booty call text when I see one.”

“Wait, but you just said SoHee texted it to Jungkook, right?” Yoongi sits back, a quizzical look on his face. “So, he got a text from SoHee and you got jealous. But I’m gonna be that person right now and point out to you that technically, you and Jungkook aren’t together.”

“Yeah, thanks for stating the obvious,” you say with a roll of your eyes. “Anyways, we were in the bathroom,” you think back through the specifics. “His phone went off, and he set it down to dry my hair, and then it went off again. The message lit up his phone, so I saw the text from SoHee.”

“Sis, you know I love you, but I think you’re jumping to conclusions. It sounds like Jungkook was just the recipient of the messages, not necessarily the instigator. Guys can receive unsolicited tit pics just as much as women get dick pics. People just think all men are horny 24/7, but we also can feel uncomfortable in these situations. If we’re at work or start dating someone new, and an old flame sends us a ‘you up’ text or sends nudes? Not to mention, sometimes we just aren’t attracted to the people sending us stuff. It causes issues no one asked for.”

Yoongi’s eyes show no malice as he speaks a truth you’re upset with yourself for not realizing in that drunken stupor, or even in the light of today. “Jungkook’s hot, you know? He could’ve just been the recipient of unsolicited nudes. He might actually get quite a few that he ignores, because that man is high-key in love with you.”

“Honestly, I’ve seen you and Jungkook together, and I agree. Who cares what other people think, especially the ones who don’t know either of you well enough and shouldn’t matter enough to sway your happiness with each other.” Leah looks at Yoongi, and he takes her hand gently. “This wedding tomorrow will not be my first one, but it’s the one that matters the most to me. Your brother loves me on a level that I never knew was possible, thanks to my ex, and though our age gap isn’t as big as yours with Jungkook, I’m still older than him. Both of these are things your mom took issue with, but you know your brother.” She looks over to him with a fondness you understand. It’s how you look at Jungkook. “The only thing that matters is what you and Jungkook want. I know it’s not easy, but it’s infinitely worth it.”

By the time Jungkook finishes a sponge-bath and documents the care Min-Ji received during this time, he realizes it’s past the typical lunch time and that the husband has yet to eat. The three children he mentioned live on the other side of the country, but are traveling now to be with their parents. He had hoped they would arrive earlier with the promised food Mr. Kim is waiting for, but Jungkook insists he get something to hold the man over for the time being. He reminds him of which buttons to press to contact the phone in Jungkook’s pocket, then heads to the canteen.

The employees share the cafeteria area with the visiting families of patients, and it is bustling quite a bit as Jungkook exits the elevators straight into the lobby of the cafe. To the left, the room extends into a seating area once past the cashier lines, and Jungkook sees the moment SoHee spots him through the crowd.

He’s tired of hiding from people—tired of hiding from his feelings, really—so he decides not to run away this time. If SoHee decides to talk about the messages she sent last night, he will address it and let her down easily. They’re still friends, in Jungkook’s mind, so he smiles at her as she approaches him, soft pink scrubs swishing lightly from her quick steps.

“I am so excited about the wedding tomorrow!”

Jungkook can tell; her smile is glowing. Once upon a time, he might’ve been enthralled by it, it’s still a beautiful smile, and it sucks to know that he might be the reason it fades in a few moments.

“Yeah, me too. I actually wanted to talk to you about it.”

“Yes, that’s why I came over here, in fact, so we could finish coordinating and—”

“SoHee, wait.” Jungkook knows he’s being rude, cutting her off, but the longer she stands there, grinning up at him like that, the more his chest feels tight. “I can’t be your date for the wedding.”

As he predicted, the rosy apples of SoHee’s cheeks lower along with her smile as she processes his words.

“I don’t think I understand?” She's polite as she speaks, head quirked to the side as if showcasing her confusion, but Jungkook is no fool to the glint of a woman’s eye as she braces for battle.

“I know that it took me a lot longer than I promised to get back to you about this, but I’ve only just figured things out myself, and I just don’t want to string you along.”

“What have you been doing then, if not stringing me along?” SoHee crosses her arms across her chest, stance shifting to one of defensiveness. “I’m not trying to be a bitch, Jungkook, but from my point of view, it kind of seems like you’ve been doing exactly what you claim you don’t want to do.”

Jungkook sighs, restraining himself from rolling his eyes at her words and tone. He can’t help but feel that SoHee is being a bit dramatic—it’s not like he was the one who started all this wedding date talk, and he never even agreed to be her date! He did put off turning her down, but she’s the one who texted him to say he didn’t need to feel obligated to take her. And then she sends nudes and a booty-call text message at the worst possible moment last night and wants to get mad at him?

“Look, SoHee, I know that you probably feel like I’m the bad guy in this, but—”

“You’re an asshole, Jungkook.” SoHee’s voice carries a little too well, and other nurses standing nearby tune into the conversation. He really hates public confrontation like this, especially when he didn’t do anything wrong, and yet, here he is dealing with this bullshit.

Jungkook doesn’t mean the words he says in the way that they come out, but he feels cornered. “What do you want me to say, SoHee? ‘I’m sorry that I like somebody else��? Or possibly, I’m sorry that you sending me nudes I never asked for at 2 AM fucked up my relationship?” He probably could’ve said it with a little less attitude, probably should’ve held back from the second example, especially when he sees the way SoHee’s eyes begin to fill with tears as she looks at all of the gawking bystanders. One of the other nurses walks over and places an arm around SoHee’s shoulder, glaring daggers at Jungkook as if willing him to keel over on the glossy linoleum.

“You really are an asshole, Jeon. Why would you say that to someone, in front of a crowd? You have no tact.”

Jungkook is about to fire back at the other woman, but a hand on his shoulder reigns him back in despite his blood continuing to boil.

“Janice, why don’t you escort SoHee to the employee lounge for a bit? I’ll have a chat with Jungkook here.”

Frozen eyes sending a final chilling glare, the women disappear as Jungkook finally moves through the cafe line to the cashier, Jin following quietly. He continues to shadow Jungkook as he makes his way back to the palliative care and hospice unit to deliver the food. As he rounds the doorway, he sees that the patient’s adult children have arrived, a few grandchildren as well.

To his surprise, Min-Ji is awake, but this only makes him worry about what’s to come. He sets the food to the side, greeting the members of Min-Ji’s family as he does a quick check of Min-Ji’s breathing. The pattern appears abnormal—though normal for someone approaching the end of life. He’s glad her family made it in time to see her; he knows that before the day is out, possibly even before his shift ends, she’ll quietly cross the veil.

Jungkook slips back out of the room to give the family some privacy, and to meet with Jin, who he knows is waiting for him. The two men walk to a nearby empty nurses’ desk, and Jungkook waits expectantly for Jin to speak.

“Well, that went swimmingly.”

“All thanks to you, my friend,” Jungkook responds snidely, “not only is SoHee mad at me, I’m also not talking to You-Know-Who right now because of a pretty serious fight we had last night.”

“Calm down, she’s not Voldemort,” Seokjin snorts out. “But you two fought about something serious?”

“Yeah…She was at my place last night and saw a series of messages from SoHee that included a nude. She kind of went spastic on me, accusing me of requesting the nudes from SoHee after having sex with her because I’m ‘too young’ to behave any differently. I honestly was so angry, I called her a taxi and sent her home.”

Seokjin blinks at Jungkook dumbfoundedly before speaking. “Maybe if you’d already told our dear friend you’re banging his sister, and then told her that you want to date her, none of this would have even been able to happen.”

“This advice would’ve been better than encouraging SoHee’s imagination,” Jungkook grumbles out, though his voice takes a softer tone when he says your name as he continues, “if she had wanted to date her brother’s youngest friend, I think she would’ve said something by now.” The condescension towards the age gap is laced through every word. Seokjin ponders his words before speaking his point of view.

“You know, I think that maybe the two of you put too much weight on this age gap. Even now, you’re taking on this submissive role, waiting for her to tell you or make the first move. But let me tell you a little something about women. No matter their age, they want someone who isn’t afraid to want them back. And you, my friend, are shaking in your scrubs.”

“I’m not scared,” Jungkook instantly defends, but even he can hear the lie whistle through his teeth.

“Then why are you waiting for her to make all the decisions? Why haven’t you had an adult conversation, sat her down, and told her what you wanted for a change?”

“Because I—” Jungkook pauses, unsure of how to answer. In all realness, he is scared. He enjoys what the two of you have going on, and he worries that if he speaks up for what he wants, if he asks you to change the friends-with-benefits status to something real…being incinerated by the sun after being lit on fire by jet engine fuel would hurt less than the hypothetical rejection he fears.

Seokjin just gives him a knowing look, his eyes soft with empathy for his younger friend's dilemma. “Just talk to her. Show her you want her, and not just in a friends-with-benefits way.” He once again gives Jungkook that knowing look. “Tomorrow is the perfect opportunity to clear the air. Everyone loves a good wedding.”

“Except SoHee is also going to be there.”

Seokjin curses lowly under his breath and is about to say more when Jungkook’s phone begins to emit a shrill tone for attention. The two men silently make their way back to Min-Ji’s room, knowing that if the phone is ringing, it’s not for any good reason.

It’s been a long day full of revelations. The long talk with your brother and his soon-to-be wife has left you feeling drained and empty. Sitting on your couch, you open up the app to order food from your favorite takeout place barely a block away. Carelessly, you reorder the last meal you placed before slumping backwards into the plush cushions.

Now that you’ve ordered, you really wish you had chosen delivery, like the lazy ass you want to be, but it’s not that far from your place. You close your eyes for what feels like a moment, but an alert jerks you out of the light slumber you’d slipped into. Your food is ready to be picked up. Sighing, you rock back then forward to lift yourself from the sunken spot on your comfortable couch and shrug on Jungkook’s hoodie for the trek.

The weather teases a light rainfall, the petrichor scent enveloping you as you quicken your steps through the glass door of the establishment. Approaching the counter, the cashier recognizes you and pulls your order—two plastic bags with a brown paper bag inside each full of steaming hot food.

Checking the receipt stapled to the first bag, you see that you’ve accidentally ordered twice as much food; your last placed order was a meal for two, and the extra food? Jungkook’s favorite dishes from here. With resignation, you grab both bags, attempting to balance them on each forearm and use your foot to push open the door, but the door swings open as a man with an umbrella steps through.

Jungkook says your name as if it's a curse and a prayer, sidestepping back onto the sidewalk to hold the door for you to exit. You thank him, fully intending to keep walking past him, but he follows you instinctively.

“Let me help,” he says, his hand reaching out to grab one of the bags, and like muscle memory, you allow it, both of you walking in tandem until you reach your place. Unlocking the front door, he follows you in if only to set down the bag, but you stop him with a hand to his wrist before he can leave.

“I, uh, accidentally ordered your favorites when I rushed my last reorder. You can have it, if you want. I can’t eat all of this.”

Jungkook just shrugs, and you finally notice how he looks. It’s not good—well, he always looks good; he can pull off anything. It’s more so that he doesn’t look well; his face is pale, eyes listless and devoid of any joy, parts of his face a bright red from being picked at. It’s one of his habits you’re well aware of, like when he bites his nails when nervous. Reaching into the bag, you lift out the container and pass it to him along with napkins and utensils. Taking the food from you, he steps into your living room, plopping down onto your couch as if muscle memory has taken over, he takes off the lid and begins the motions of eating the meal.

Your own thoughts are racing, unsure of what to do or say, so you just say nothing, instead pouring two glasses of water and delivering them to the coffee table before going back for your food. You end up sitting on the smaller couch, the corner closest to where he sits on the larger couch. The room fills with the sounds of you eating, an awkwardness that never used to be there lingering in the air. Your eyes flit from your food to Jungkook’s slow movements, so after you swallow your most recent bite, you take a sip of water before speaking.

“Is everything okay, Jungkook?” The urge to call him ‘baby’—to cuddle him to you and comfort him—is strong, but you resist.

His hand moves the food around a bit, and you watch him as he gathers himself to reply. It feels like hours, but he finally looks at you. “Yeah, I just had a really hard case today. It was a hospice patient, and I spent most of the day with her husband. Well, second husband—but the love of her life, I’m sure.”

“Oh,” you don’t know what to say; you’re not really sure what made the case so hard, so you wait for Jungkook to elaborate.

“They, uh, knew each other for a long time, since they were kids, you know? But he was the younger brother of her best friend, and she married someone else before he worked up the courage to pursue her. He ended up married to one of her friends instead, but she left him. He said his first wife knew that no one could compete with the girl he actually loved. So when the first husband died in the Gwangju Uprising, leaving her a single mom with a small baby, he stepped in to provide them with a place to live and just help out, but they ended up together eventually and they have a big family.” Jungkook’s eyes look back at his food, a bit teary. “I met their kids and grandkids. They arrived right before she—” he clears his throat, but a small tear sneaks down his cheek.

You reach out for him, pulling the food from his hands and placing it on the table. You scoot closer to him, taking his hands into yours as he looks down at where the two of you connect. He sniffles, trying to stabilize his voice before he continues with his story.

“They arrived right before she passed. She’d been asleep the whole time I was there with her husband, but once everyone arrived, she woke up and was talking to them all, told them she loved them one last time, and then she just…slipped away. I don’t think I can ever forget the sound her husband made as he cried.”

“Oh, Jungkook…” unable to bear it, you join him on the same couch, holding him close to you as he cries. Your own eyes are wet; something about this couple’s story resonates with you after everything that you’ve experienced today.

“I can’t imagine going through that,” Jungkook says with a wobbly voice. “Losing the person that you love the most in the world? I mean, he almost avoided having to go through this, she married someone else! And the chance comes around for him to be with her and he takes it, but the way he cried when he lost her…I’m not sure it’s worth it in the end.”

His words cut like a knife to your heart. You want to remind him of the good that he told in the story, how the couple had a large family, how the wife was surrounded by the evidence of their love when she died. How the man taking that second chance meant a single mom and her baby had a better life—that anguish he felt when he lost her was because they shared a love like no other. To you, it’s always worth it.

Instead of saying what you want to say, you ask him what he needs. And those beautiful teary eyes look up at you and he whispers one word; “You,” and you’re unable to say no to him. Not when his lips meet yours with a desperation that you can’t begin to decipher, not when his hands pull you closer, and he clings to you like a lifeline, and definitely not when he sighs out your name against your lips, as if the simple utterance fills him with solace and relief of all that ails him.

His strong hands relieve you of your clothing as his lips remain fervently attached to yours. You relish in the feel of him as your naked form meets his own body, skin to skin, while he lays you back onto the couch. His kiss leaves you dazed; you have no idea how long it took for you both to end up naked, and by the time the question is flying through your mind, Jungkook is already nestled between your thighs, his cock hard and throbbing pressed against your lower stomach and your ankles crossed at his lower back.

When he pulls away slightly—reaching to line himself up with your slick opening—you bite his bottom lip where it was resting against your own, and the sensation causes him to surge his hips forward, fucking himself deep inside you. The intrusion is orgasmic, stretching you to a fullness you only experience when he doesn’t take time to prep you. Jungkook is needy, fraught with a raw emotion he can’t yet put words to, but his body can.

With each stroke, he finds comfort, the grip of your walls building the friction to a pleasurable high that he wants to drown in. Is there anything better to ease his mind than to be buried inside of you? He knows you're close, can feel the way you quicken—hurtling towards climax as you dig your nails into his back and cry out his name. Your body wrapped around him brings him a level of peacefulness that allows his mind to empty and his heavy cock to release thick spurts of cum until you're full and leaking around his softening member.

You lay underneath him, holding him close as his chest rises and falls, and he peppers kisses along your shoulder. His movements are slow and you can feel the effects of the day taking over and pulling him into sleep. He slides his body so that the two of you are back to front, him curling around you as the big spoon. He grasps the blanket you keep across the top of the couch and attempts to cover you both, but you take over for him.

He drops his arm around your waist, pulling you closer to his chest as he kisses the back of your head once more.

“I’m sorry, Princess,” he mutters before he’s softly snoring, and you lay there in his embrace, contemplating what his apology could be for.

Was he apologizing for sending you home last night? For that thumbs up he sent that ruined your day? Because he feels bad that he only made you cum once after using your body to make himself feel better? It’s only when you’re about to drift off that you remember his words about his patient, and your mind wonders if his apology is telling you sorry because he can’t give you what you want the most. Himself.

stay tuned for “i’ll be loving you right, seven days a week” coming 9-?-2023!

227 notes · View notes

brf-rumortrackinganon · 4 months ago

Note

yes, that French Olympic Opening Ceremony was so fantastic that the International Olympic Committee has now deleted the YouTube video of its own opening ceremony and is issuing DMCA copyright claims against anyone who posts footage (even legally allowable small snippets), and getting people banned from X. Way to go Olympics!

For an international forum that is supposed to be about unity of nations around shared love of sports....., offending hundreds of millions of Christians worldwide, grown men exposing their genitals in front of children and general degeneracy seems to still matter. If inclusivity means that families with children worldwide have to tolerate a celebration of debauchery without comment...... then inclusivity needs a redefinition..............

Now the French are making the argument that it wasn't a depiction of "The Last Supper", but of "The Feast of the Gods" by Jan van Bijlirt..... but then I have to ask the question: why is the figure in the middle wearing a glittering "halo" headdress like Jesus in the DaVinci's "Last Supper" painting???? Also, as to your argument that the Mona Lisa is also a DaVinci painting and is in the Louvre..... I have to say, then the French maybe should have mocked the Mona Lisa instead of a painting they don't own!

Apparently, we have gotten to the point where it is not possible to celebrate our togetherness and unity without some group of people being insulted and offended by their inclusion or exclusion. So corporations, sponsors, TV channels, the IOC, social media etc. are going to have to decide who exactly they want to leave offend......

I wonder if you've done any reflecting or re-calibration on your take the French Olympic Opening Extravaganza?

Nope, I haven’t. Because

1. I have other things and issues that are more local, more consequential, and more personal for me to worry about than a 15-second blink-and-miss-it tableau performed halfway around the world 2 days ago. Issues like losing my rights to exist as a free independent single woman and sick elderly nonagenarian grandparents.

2. I don’t spend my free time doomscrolling the news, social media, and the internet and getting sucked into algorithms that exploit my dislikes.

3. I have better things to do on a weekend than sit at home and fixate on criticism of an event that had nothing to do with me and that I *chose* to watch. I watched it. I liked it. Then I went to Waffle House and moved on.

4. I believe in personal responsibility. If I’m offended by my *choice,* then I understand I can only be angry and upset with *myself* so accordingly, I blame myself. I don’t go around blaming everyone else and forcing everyone else to be accountable to my personal mistake and bad choice.

It’s France. The French have different attitudes, different beliefs, and different cultural expectations than anywhere else around the world. They are much more lax in their attitudes towards romance and relationships. They are much more liberal in their attitudes towards religion and personal rights. If you knew that - and if you were watching the ceremony then you knew that - and you *still* chose to keep watching the program to see the drag queens and this mockery of Christianity that you’re so upset over, than that’s *your* choice. If you kept watching after Lady Gaga’s performance where the dude in short-shorts accidentally exposed himself, that was *your* choice. If you kept watching after the love/threesome scene, that was *your* choice. If you kept watching after the US livestream showed a statue of the woman who got abortion rights encoded in French law, that was *your* choice.

You didn’t have to watch the program. You didn’t have to keep watching the program. Woke hedonistic leftists did not break into your house, hold you at gunpoint, and force you to watch it or consume media/content about it. That was *your* choice. You could’ve turned it off at any time. But you didn’t. And so you saw things you didn’t like and now you want an entire country and culture to grovel and beg in an apology for *your* own personal decision to watch in the first place?

The IOC is caving to your demands because they need the money and support from the US to exist. That’s the only reason why they’re pulling videos down and censoring the ceremony. Not because the French did something wrong, but because a special group of Americans with enough political and media power to cancel their support and donations perceived it as a direct, personal attack and are angry over it.

5. I think that people who use the Bible, religion, and faith as tools to control and judge people for actions and beliefs that have nothing to do with them or that personally affects their day-to-day lives have forgotten, or don’t understand, what it actually means to be a christian. Matthew 7: “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Or Leviticus 19: “Love thy neighbor as thyself”…which you might know more colloquially as the golden rule, “treat others as you wish to be treated.”

In other words: You be you. I’ll do me. I’ll let you be you however you want to be you and you let me be me however I want me to be me. But if you can’t let that be and you force me to be more like you, then we have a problem. This is what I meant last week when I said “don’t start with me and I won’t start with you.”

I don’t care what the topic is, if we’re talking about Meghan and Harry or the BRF or religion or politics or the Olympics or French culture. The second anyone demands I need to reflect or recalibrate or change my opinion is the second our conversation is over.

Look, you have every right to be offended and angry by what you saw. But you have no right to force everyone else to see it the way you do. I’m sorry if that upsets you, but I’m not changing the fact that I enjoyed the opening ceremony and thought it was a good time. It’s an opinion. Everyone’s got them, and everyone’s opinion is different. If you don’t like mine, then I wish you farewell and bid you good luck as you look for more likeminded company.

This is everyone’s final warning. If you keep coming at me about my opinion that I liked the opening ceremony, I’m going to clap back at you and it won’t be polite or respectful.

50 notes · View notes

alkadienerrrr · 2 months ago

Text

re-uploading

can you imagine, I accidentally deleted my account while trying to delete an empty block. a funny case!

science team references :]

I did it for an animatic, but overdid it, and here the result

I posted the refs of each separately because of the pic's limit

---

I want waffles

#art #my art #artists on tumblr #hlvrai #half live vr but the ai is self aware #half life #gordon freeman #gordon feetman #benrey #tommy coolatta #dr coomer #bubby #hlvrai bubby #i'm fine #almost #another day another dollar #i love them #totally waffles

29 notes · View notes

bunji-enthusiast · 1 month ago

Text

I accidentally posted the unfinished work, so I had to delete it and re-do your request. All apologies given, I’m so sorrryyyy. I also somewhat implied Guinevere to be a little closer to Lancelot (or reader's age), cause I'm uncomfy with how young she is in the anime/manga. Apologies for shortness as well, but I hope this was okay anyway!

For all the wealth in the world, there was always one inexplicable thing that could never be truly explained in just mere words. Not by humans and especially not by the goddess race or fairies. Yet it was the idea, alone, that made it enough to understand it to a degree.

It was the imaginative ideal concept of love, crying to the connections of begotten dead lovers and blooming sunflowers finding solace in one another.

Yet it was in the one place you last wanted to find it, be it as it may how much you had yearned for such a thing.

The mere idea, the mere concept was unfathomable. If what you had known, been old perhaps, that it really was true. That it had happened, then you just weren't sure about it anymore, that your crush on the blonde was no longer was going to be solid. There was no way you had any chance with someone who clearly saw yo only as a friend, and perhaps there wasn't anyway you wanted to force Lancelot either. It is rather rude and unkind of you to do so, because why would you? Seeing as how the young lady Guinevere and Lancelot had kissed, you wouldn't have a chance in the world after knowing that.

You stifle a short sob, and curled around the cornerstone, keeping yourself shrouded in the safety of the dark. Holding a hand over your mouth and beginning to walk away, and no matter how much you had tried to, your tears would fall, hard and hot, brimming the rims of your bottom eyelids.

Even if, deeply in your heart, that it wrenched and twisted your guts. You had no obligation to pursue Lancelot, you had manners, and simply wouldn't do so.

But, you could at least get it off your chest. So the next best thing was your brother, the two were close in some way or shape, so you went to Tristan. You knew in a way, that Tristan and Lancelot had a kind of bond you surely wouldn't be able to understand or even replicate for the matter. However, all that was important twas' he was close with the fellow prince.

Though, you could busy your mind with other things on your way to Tristan. Constant rampant thoughts of the two beings kissing right there at the stone ledge had unfortunately continued to torment you however, you wished you could just simply stop thinking about it. Yet it was parasitic amongst all other thoughts of the good things you tried to think about, you simply hated it, and wanted to rid yourself of the memory. Oh how you wished you didn't try and find Lancelot -- maybe things would've stayed far better that way.

Later, when you had finally found the very boy you had been looking for. Without the reaper lurking, you had greeted your dear brother; "Hey Tristan!" You exclaimed with renewed vigor, it was always at the sight of your brother that had made you happy to see him. Even if you've had your sibling spats together in your more formative years, he was always such a nice sight to see.

The nephilim's eyes flit up at the sound of your voice, waving his hand with a kind smile. The aura he exuded was ridiculously gentle, you simply had no idea how he was so capable of such a thing at times.

"ah, are you alright?" He questioned, his brows narrowing with clear worry for you.

"I'm okay as they come, I guess?" You repeated the same questioning tone, so unsure. Tristan could puzzle the pieces to a degree, and he could tell you weren't so okay.

"You wanna get it off your chest?" He asked, reaching his hand over to the small of your back and leading you away from the crowd of people bustling in the rainy streets. You nodded meekly, suddenly finding the willpower to move forward sapped from the muscle of your bones. How you wonder, that you would be so bothered after such a thing, seeing it with your own eyes no less.

After the two of you had finally reached the confines of your brother's bedroom, he sat you down, then himself.

"Take your time, okay?"

You nodded, then with a shaky breath, came to admittance. The next few words that had spilled out of your mouth, had nonetheless shocked the knight of pestilence, seeing as how you had told the small tale of the shocking revalation that had come to a halt. All within your field of vision, which was something you had clearly wished you never wanted come to see.

There was then and now, and you were unsure of you if you wanted to confront the blonde prince. Yet, it had seemed that your twin brother had already answered that question in your stead.

The silver wisps had already alluded you as Tristan stormed out of the safety of the bedroom, leaving a shocked face all on you, and the guards stationed at his door.

You had to calm down the guards, and each passerby as Tristan had already been far ahead of you toward's Lancelot's location.

For all you knew, the boy was kind and gentle, and quick to amend and de-escalate any tense situations. Yet it was he, this time, that was quick to be angered, going straight for the unsuspecting poor source of his sister's tears.

It truly surprised you, it did.

But you needed to stop your brother before things would get bad, or even worse then before. The last thing you wanted to do was strain the friendship the two of them had, and you just made that happen.

You straggled your way through the tight spaces amendable between people, and trudged forward, your pace ever increasing as you had heard the volume of an argument increasing.

"You made her upset!" One voice shouted.

Another, "Who the hell are you talking about?" Calm, but also very clearly agitated by such an accusation.

A mention of your name arose, "My sister."

You held your hands on your knees, inhaling your breath as you tried to get the oxygen back in your lungs. Your gaze lifted as you finally caught sight of the two, "Guys!" You shouted breathlessly, and immediately their heads flickered toward the source of your voice.

Getting their attention, you took a few more moments too capture the breath back in your lungs. Once done, you took your steps toward the two, "Im sorry for this Lancelot, this was my fault."

The two gasped in surprise, "Wait, but.." Tristan mumbled, "What about?" He trailed off, clearly gesturing about what you had talked over with your brother. Lancelot looked on in confusion, his posture relaxed, yet also tense.

"I had.." You began, taking your hand off Tristan's shoulder. Almost hesitant to continue, but you did so anyway, "Saw you and that girl, uh," You stuttered.

"Kissing?" He finished for you, his shoulders dropping as he had finally figured out what this was about. You nodded, Lancelot could only let out a stiff chuckle.

"I didn't want to," He said, then added, "Guinevere caught me by surprise, and did so without my permission." You raised a brow, Lancelot raised his hands -- almost tentative as he set them on your shoulders. They were surprisingly warm.

Stop it, you shouldn't think of that!

"She was, and still is someone I barely know." Lancelot commented, "I had no intention of hurting... you." He looked genuinely apologetic.

"I am sorry."

You shook your head with a laugh, "I should be the one apologizing, I just jumped to conclusions without understanding anything first."

"You still deserved one, I think." He interjected with a grin.

By then, Tristan had already left. The nephilim was happy to see you two make it up to each other, in which he had breathed a large sigh of relief that he wouldn't have to stand at a bridge of two that he deeply cares for.

29 notes · View notes

anarchistfrogposting · 1 year ago

Note

I don't consider myself an anarchist but i'm pretty sympathetic, there's just some stuff i'm not sure yet would work well under anarchism as i understood it after reading the bread book.

What would incentivize people to work, for example, at oil rigs away from their communities doing dangerous work?

Would it be that they'd have a smaller expectation for how long they're suposed to work? Like, instead of you working 9-5 for 8 months instead you work 9-5 for 4 months and then can just do things you like the rest of the year?

Yes hi hello! This post re-emerged from the depths of accidental deletion!! I’m getting the bus to go get a burrito so let me talk about this one!!

Kropotkin actually talked about dangerous work; after all, some work is just inherently and unavoidably a bit more dangerous than others: so what’s the point? Why bother?

To start, resource extraction is going to be inherent to any industrial economy, but it’s worth pointing out that when you eliminate a lot of overproduction, an inefficiency inherent to capitalist economy, the demand for extraction is going to shoot down in a big way. That’s a big reason why a lot of the more hardcore environmentalist movements have been radical leftist ones; it’s features inherent to capitalism which are bringing about the downfall of the environment which sustains us.

Another big consideration to make is that a lot of the danger of these fields arises solely because the demands of the profit motive incentivise management to overwork/underpay/cut back on or wholesale eliminate critical safety measures; there’s a reason why unions and collectives in those fields are such critical players in the constant battle to keep people safe.

There are quite a few fields in the domestic/public sector, as well (think electricians, certain waste management professions etc.) which are (and were more so in the past) fairly dangerous but are not generally regarded as such because they’re regulated well in the public domain/have very strong unions/have otherwise strong safety regulation.

This stuff gets safer and safer as we improve the automation of our economy, as well.

It’s worth remembering as well that those remote professions and operations are, in a way, their own communities, as well, and for some people travelling long distances away for more lonesome work is quite an attractive prospect; I once knew a geologist who said he found the relative isolation quite peaceful. My great grandad did some remote mining and he always talked quite positively about it when I knew him (although this is very anecdotal - if anybody in the field wants to weigh in I’d be more than happy to hear what you think).

About hours as well;

If there’s no profit motive, then industrial processes are going to be driven by how to do them as safely, efficiently, and easily (among other stuff). The demand for hours is going to be a lot less tough because you’re going to be able to have more workers and source better equipment without worrying about how it will cut into your bottom line; so yes, the hours will be shorter and the shifts less demanding, with a greater support network and safety network when shit hits the fan. All of this, of course, makes this kind of work a lot more attractive.

But what about dangerous work in general? Why would anyone put themselves in danger?

You just have to look at the tremendous danger that volunteers face to understand that humans don’t really need a profit motive to put their lives on the line to better their communities and the world, or to feel part of something greater than themselves. Not everyone is going to want to do that, and that’s ok, but some people really derive a lot of happiness and fulfilment from dangerous work.

Humanity is flexible and diverse; working together to champion that is our strength, and it always has been.

#anarchism #anarchist #anarchocommunism #praxis #communism #communist #revolution #leftism #leftist #danger #dangerous work #mining #resource extraction #q and a #qna

203 notes · View notes

strwbrryeyes · 10 months ago

Note

re: headcanon suggestions !

what do tha boys do when they're tired but can't sleep? do they stare at the ceiling or spiral into thought or get up and do something else until an ungodly hour?

hope sleep finds you soon nini </3

- ada ♡

𖦹°｡⋆ haikyuu boys when they can't sleep

⟡ cw: none

⟡ a/n: LOL i just realized i accidentally deleted the post asking for suggestions </3 im so tired idk what im doing anymore but yay omg i'll do this.

these are all i could come up with lol

would stare at the ceiling thinking it's the best option but actually slowly loses their mind.

these boys would be responsible and think that if they were to do anything else then yeah, they'd fully be awake. especially if they were to go on their phone because you know blue light and all. they wouldn't even get out of bed to stretch or anything because they're worried that they'd get a second wind and immediately not feel sleepy anymore. unfortunately for them, they still aren't falling asleep and are starting to go insane because they're so bored but so tired but are still holding on until they fall asleep. next thing they know, the birds are chirping and the sun is rising. they end up screaming into their pillow before getting ready for the long day ahead of them.

- ushijima, daichi, suga, iwaizumi, aran, kita, sakusa, kyotani

would start thinking about things that happened years ago

these boys would want to be part of the ceiling group but they end up cringing at everything because their brains decided to remind them of something they did years ago. all they can do is continuously face palm every time a new embarrassing memory pops into their mind. like why did he cry and throw a tantrum first year of high school when their crush politely rejected them? 'oh remember when you tripped in front of the whole school during a fire drill because you wanted to go see your friend?'. thinking about something that wasn't even his fault too like when a kid threw up on him in kindergarten. anything under the sun to make this man feel embarrassed enough that he practically forces himself to sleep as best as he can.

- osamu, asahi, kindaichi, yamaguchi, kinoshita, akaashi, kageyama, goshiki

would play games on their phones

these boys wouldn't even try to sleep lol. they're immediately go on their phones and play dumb mobile games just to pass the time. it pays off in the end though because guess who has the highest score in the country for subway surfers? that's right this guy right here. they'd also probably download all the papas pizzeria games (yes they would pay for them) but end up getting frustrated because why the fuck did wally give them a 98% on the order station???

- kenma, suna, kunimi, matsukawa, nishinoya, shirabu, semi

have a dance party/pretend concert

these boys like to take their sleeplessness in stride and just throw on some banging music and dance around like nobody's business. they'll even turn on their led lights to simulate a dance club or something! they're having the time of their lives while they sing into a water bottle pretending it's a microphone and pretending that they're on a world tour performing for their adoring fans. they eventually tire themselves out and pass out on the floor.

- bokuto, makki, tsukishima (weird ik but let me have this</3), yamaoto, atsumu, tanaka, tendou

would call a friend

if they can't sleep, neither can their friends. they cannot stand the thought of being so bored in the middle of the night and they've already exhausted all other options so they decide to call up their best friend over and over again until they pick up. doesn't matter if the friend ends up being mad at them they just want company dude. after a few minutes though they'll start to fall asleep and snore loudly into the phone causing the other person to get annoyed and scream into the phone to wake them up and hang up because why call them if you're just gonna fall asleep.

- oikawa, lev, kuroo, hinata, fukunaga, komori, terushima,

#𖦹°｡⋆ 𝓃𝒾𝓃𝒾 #haikyuu #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu drabbles #hq #hq headcanons #idk what im doing #i'm so tired

49 notes · View notes

satanic-wierdo · 11 months ago

Text

Simon "Ghost" Riley and König trying to do ASMR (seperate)

A/n: I had to re-write this because it deleted😔 ANYWAYS enjoy this little mess I came up with.

WARNINGS: slight swearing from bbg Simon, German with translations

Simon "Ghost" Riley

💀 He WILL not do this by free will nor will he initially know what it is.

💀 In other words after you explain it to him you have to beg him like mad man (good luck)

💀 "Darling I love you but I'm not doing that now stop begging, are you daft?"

💀 But as much as hes a stubborn reserved Lieutenant you're still his world and he wants to make you happy. (how sweet😘👍 totally not like you promised him a little something something in return)

💀 Fast forward to getting him to the little set up or whatever you have he can not grasp the concept of having to whisper.

💀 I mean what were you expecting him being good at this wasnt part of the deal.

💀 Honestly I can see him breaking sonething by accident and getting super pissed.

💀 "OH BLOODY HELL!"

💀 "Simon, hush you have to whisper, its fine we'll clean it up"

💀 " I DON'T NEED TODO SHIT FER THIS STUPID VIDEO!"

💀 After cleaning up don't expect anything besides him being all moody you got him to do something so stupid😭

König

👑 I can see him being more opened minded about it considering he already had some knowledge on it.

👑 He wouldn't admit to it but watching ASMR is probably one of his guilty pleasures when he has alone time.

👑 "Schatz must I it seems kinda seltsam no?" (Translation: treasure and weird)

👑 "Yes könig, you must."

👑 "Alright meine liebe lets get this over with shall we." (Translation:my love)

👑 He honestly wouldn't be half bad at the whole thing his accent would just be oddly comforting in a whisper. (Like him whispering to you when you can't sleep SIGN ME TF UP)

👑 At some point he'd probably accidentally break an orbeez ball and feel SUPER bad though.

👑 "Scheiße es tut mir lied liebling." (translation: shit, I'm sorry darling.)

👑 He'd probably offer to keep going after ya'll clean up the mess but you tell him its ok. (Hes so bbg for that though🤭🤭)

👑 I can honest to god seeing him randomly whispering for a few hours after this.

Side note: All in all they both tried to make you happy BUT they both also swore you to secrecy if you post that anywhere good luck.

#simon ghost riley #simon riley #simon riley x reader #konig #könig #könig x reader #asmr #task force 141 #kortac #cod mw ghost #cod 141 #call of duty

72 notes · View notes

skzleeknowcore · 1 year ago

Text

I did this for Lee knows birthday, but I accidentally deleted everything that was on this account, so I'm re-doing the birthday post.

Birthday surprise

Summary:You've been hiding a secret from Lee Know and the boys.

Genre:Fluff, idol lee know x choreographer fem reader, pregnancy surprise, the rest of skz

I got out of the car with my hands shaking, locking the door.

Breathe y/n he loves you. He wouldn't have asked you to marry him if he didn't

I walked up the stairs to the dorms and knocked on the door

"Hey y/n come it where all in the loungeroom lee know just finished his birthday live" Chan said

"Hey channie," I said walking into the dorms then hugging him

I walked into the loungeroom with Chan following behind

"Hey guys" I said walking to the loungeroom hugging everyone besides chan and minho

"Hey y/nnie" everyone said

I walked over to minho and sat on his lap hugging him

"Hi jagi" minho said hugging me back

"Hi" I said putting my head on his shoulder, yawning

"Are you tired y/n" Felix said

"Mhmm, I had to choreograph a dance for the new girl group jyp is debuting" I said cuddling into minho

"What time did you finish?" I.n said wondering

"12 am," I said, not really caring about the outcome of the boys faces "but anyway, where's the present I got delivered here"

"In the back room" hyunjin said

"Ok can you go get it for me please jinnie" I said while moving from minho lap sitting next to him but still cuddling into him

"Yea, I can I'll be right back" hyunjin said, walking to the back room and getting the present a couple of minutes later he came back with the present "here you go y/nnie" handing me the present

"Thank you jinnie " I said handing it to minho "happy birthday jagi"

"Thank you kitten" minho said kissing me on the cheek

Minho starts opening the present and goes through it taking out stuff that's related to baby's then he saw the positive pregnancy test right at the bottom of the box "j..jagi are you really" minho said turning to me with tears in his eyes

"Surprise baby" I said then minho lunged at me wrapping me up in a hug I could feel a wet substance on my shirt that I was wearing and I knew minho was crying

"Wait, what's happening" everyone said looking confused

Han comes over and peeks at what has made his best friend cry

"Y/NNIE PREGNANT" han tells with a loud voice

"WAIT WHAT WHERE GONNA BE UNCLES" I.n said bouncing around like a kid in a candy shop

"OMG.......wait how far along are you" Chan said looking at me

"7 weeks today" I said rubbing minho's back then he picked up his head off my shoulder

"I love you future Mrs lee" minho said looking at me with tears coming down his face

"And I love you my soon to be husband " I said wiping the tears away that were coming down his face

Minho crashed his lips onto mine then pulled away and moved down to talk to the growing baby that was forming in my stomach

"Hi little one I'm your dad I'm so excited to meet you when you come into the world just know you have 7 amazing uncles that will spoil you and so will your mum and i" minho said in a quiet voice but everyone could here

"We should celebrate the upcoming arrival of straykids" Chan said

"We should" everyone but Chan said

"Oh, and I told jyp about the pregnancy, and he said to wait until I'm in my 2 trimester to announce it to the fans just because we don't know if there's gonna be issues" I said to the boys

"Yea its probably the better option" Felix said

"But other than that let's celebrate" seungmin said

While the boys went and got dressed me and minho were still sitting on the couch

"I love you jagi" minho said

"I love you too " I said cuddling into minho

Everything happens for a reason the boys and y/n can't wait to meet the new addition to the straykids family

#lee know fanfic #lee know imagines #lee know x reader #stray kids #lee felix #hwang hyunjin #han jisung #i.n skz #kim seungmin #bang chan #changbin #surprise #pregnancy

99 notes · View notes

someonethatlikefrog · 1 year ago

Text

Inktobertale Day 1, 4, 6, 12, 18, 19, 20, 29 and 31

Bonus day 31:

(re-post my painting because i accidentally deleted my old account)

Classic sans belongs to Toby fox

Ink sans belongs to comyet

Error sans belongs to loverofpiggies

Dream and Nightmare sans belongs to jokublog

#undertale au #undertale #inktobertale2023 #Inktobertale #sans the skeleton #ink sans #inktale #error sans #errortale #dreamtale #dream sans #nightmare sans

58 notes · View notes

narcpocalypse · 9 months ago

Note

Speaking of that post I hope it's ok for me to send this ask in!

I have some OCs myself that also have NPD(+other PDs as well, like ASPD AND BPD for example) and I was wondering how to realistically portray NPD without unintentionally stigmatizing/demonizing it?

*also some are also POC as well and are my Elder Scrolls OCs also, if this helps.*

Feel free to delete this ask, if you don't feel like answering!

AGHHH MY FIRST ASK!!!!!!!!/pos

Fair warning, this is going to be a LONGGGG ass post and it will mention ableism towards NPDers. I want to make sure I cover as much as possible. If you have NPD and want to add anything, pls do so in a reblog or the comments! I am also super delirious so if what I say makes no sense I'm so sorry 😭

I think a full, completely in depth understanding is the key to not writing something stigmatizing/demonizing. It sounds obvious, but in the case of NPD, there's so much misinformation so I am hoping this post can guide you in the writing process. You never know what little thing can cause accidental mischaracterization.

This is a super important topic for me because honestly, I'm trying to figure out the same as someone with NPD myself, even with all the info available. I feel like there's so much grey area because so much is still unknown about the disorder (fuck the psych system/narc abuse believers). A lot of us have to go from our personal experiences and figure things out on our own, which brings me to my first topic:

Self Diagnosis And The Criteria!!!!!!!!

A LOT of us are self diagnosed, including myself. Whether you're officially diagnosed or not, most of us can agree the DSM5 is booty ass. I bring up self diagnosis specifically because due to the DSM5 being shitty, it's suuuper difficult to get diagnosed or even want a diagnosis. I personally don't want one.

If that's a theme you want to bring up in your work, I would definitely follow blogs here that break down the diagnostic criteria and re-define it in a realistic way. Having this is super important because the DSM5 is MADDD confusing even if it wasn't ableist.

Your characters might resonate with that confusion and even anger. Rage is such a prominent emotion with us narcissists, so its highly encouraged you tap into that. The stigma is so impactful to most of us and personally keeps me hidden.

If you went off the official criteria, you could innocently and accidentally write an ableist trope based off the DSM5. For example, the DSM5 has a very vague and "I do this just because I can blah blah blah and there's a name for it" narrative of narcissists. There's no nuance. They state accurate symptoms but don't accurately explain why we have them. Without context, it makes our intentions ultimately one size fits awful.

Here are some resources that have been super helpful to me!

Some extra specific things I keep in mind when writing my narcissistic characters:

-“Bad behavior” is such an important phrase to emphasize when writing narcissists negative symptoms and being mindful on how you approach the impact. Make sure that phrase is clear, even if they will not redeem themselves and are a piece of garbage. They did xyz because of bad behavior due to symptoms, they hurt john doe because of bad behavior due to symptoms. They make the conscious choice not to change their bad behavior because abc or they make the conscious choice to do better because blah blah blah.

-Depending on what communication style you want two or more characters to have, make sure the outcomes are accurate based off of symptoms. My examples don't explain narcissists as a whole, but they are based off of my symptoms:

Lack of Communication: Increase in superiority symptoms, increase in rage, increase in invalidation and inferiority feelings. Other parties, specifically egotypicals may have a misconception of the narcissist and believe their symptoms are how they really are and can't be redeemed due to stigma. In the situation involving a narcissist however, in my experience when this happens I'm always so confused. Nothing makes sense and nobody is explaining anything to me. I need outside perspective as to why my actions are wrong and lack of communication will sink me deeper into my delusions. Communication is so important coming from the outside perspective to snap me out of my spiral. Lack of communication on my end will cause me to bottle up my feelings, convinced I’m better alone. Not explaining my intentions (or lack there of, to be completely blunt and vulnerable.) to someone I hurt can cause them so much more pain too. I don't want to hurt anyone, and even if I don't FEEL sorry, I can acknowledge I don't want the people I care for to be hurt by my bad actions.

Proper Communication: Honestly in my case, usually the damage I caused isn’t forgiven however rebuilding that trust becomes so much easier accepting that and opening up to the person/people I hurt. The narcissist usually knows they can prevent xyz going forward, and the other party is prepared on how to handle the situation in case it happens again. In my experience, communication is super beneficial in terms of receiving supply too. ESPECIALLY when the other person involved is also a narcissist, they know that pain of not receiving praise/admiration and we can understand each other moving forward.

Other narcissists I encourage you give your experience w this too bc I have seen very diff ones!

-If you want to implement characters who are ableist towards the narcissist, some things I would do are:

Show the narcissists internal monologue after the trauma and put your main focus on their emotions, the ableist person’s actions second. The weight of their words will be shown more in the trauma response, less in the moment (although super important). Focus the context on the narc crash, anxiousness, surprise, grandiosity overcompensation, etc.

Have other characters defend the narcissist, preferably being other narcissists because we are the ones who understand each other the most and back each other up no matter what

Show the importance of proper education and lack of education

Ask yourself how this is relevant to the plot and your character/characters

-Ask yourself, why does/doesn't my character want to be redeemed? Is it a symptom or is it genuine? Do they want to do better but don't recognize it? Why don't they recognize it? What symptoms are holding them back from xyz (social connections, self care etc.).?

Examples of answers to these questions:

My character doesn't want to be redeemed because they are convinced they are justified in their actions. They genuinely believe they did the right thing and need time to get out of that mindset. What's stopping them from getting out of that mindset is the delusion they are stuck in. Working on their trauma triggers can help lessen the blow and onset of psychosis. If they recognize they are wrong, my character is the type of person to crash and have suicidal urges. There is a slow build up before the crash that spirals into madness. What may help is getting supply from their friends/partners reassuring them that recognizing their bad actions are a first step followed by praise for things outside of the situation to bring them back to a solid baseline or narc high.

My character has a hard time socializing because when having an episode of grandiosity, they feel like they are better than everyone and no one is at their level. In episodes of insecurity, they feel like they don't deserve friends because they feel worthless. This is followed by perfectionism and seeking unwanted friendships, only to self-destruct and hurt those around them. Their ego impacts everything they do.

-SHAMEEEE is one of the most important emotions (in my experience) to write about so pls make that an important part of how your character views themselves!

-I know I have been only focusing on negative aspects, but also do highlight the positive aspects. For me, NPD has motivated me to work on myself. It isn’t the healthiest way, but given my circumstance, it is the healthiest I can do right now. Even my most wild and delusional thoughts can lead to great opportunities for self improvement. Thinking I’ll become famous? Gave myself tools to work on my executive dysfunction and be consistent with a project I love. Narc highs are also absolutely incredible. Finding folks who understand me and receiving praise has kept me going. I genuinely feel listened to. Narcissists are some of the nicest people you will ever meet because they know what it feels like to hate themselves. No matter how little empathy some of us have, that doesn’t mean we can’t acknowledge one another (even if my symptoms make me feel so singular in my experiences/contradict the point of acknowledging others).

More info to represent different kinds of NPDers:

Some common comorbidities are:

Autism Spectrum

Bipolar Disorder

Schizophrenia Spectrum

DID/OSDD

All Cluster B Disorders

Eating Disorders and Addictions

So many of us are autistic. SO MANY. This small survey statistic doesn’t scratch the surface but it’s important to look at!

As an autistic person myself, I feel like a lot of the trauma I faced growing up highly contributed to the development of NPD. I was othered, shunned, invalidated and shamed for just existing. Still am. That made me overcompensate with erratic attempts to be wanted and loved and just acknowledged in any way possible. I want to be SEEN.

If anyone wants an in depth post sharing my experiences with bipolar disorder and NPD I will absolutely do so if asked too!

How NPD affects my gender itself, dysphoria and sexuality:

In my experience as a fat trans man, a lot of my dysphoria is rooted in narcissism, internalized fatphobia and internalized toxic masculinity. I want to be the ideal boyfriend that is praised for existing. My male privilege definitely contributes to that want and I can acknowledge and dislike that part of myself. I expect this certain level of respect for being a man without realizing it sometimes and make sure to hold myself accountable when doing so. My dysphoria makes me feel inferior to other men because I don't "pass" and I feel the need to compete against them. The insecurity is consuming me and I do my best to be aware if I cross any lines.

What I have noticed about gender and sexuality in NPDers is that a lot yall are aroace and nonbinary! Like based off of my survey alone and people I know!

I asked one of my mutuals if it wanted to share his experiences of being a POC with NPD and it agreed!! He wanted to stay anonymous (aka super duper awesomely cool and mysterious) so I’ll just be posting the ss of what he said!

I do not have much to say on the response from my mutual because I feel like what it said speaks for itself and because we've spoken in private about the topic already! If you want to write an Asian character with NPD, this is really useful information!!!! One day I will make a post elaborating on being a POC with NPD myself. But, for now, this will help you understand an experience from an Asian perspective.

I hope this post wasn't all over the place and makes sense, if you have any more questions please ask away!

#npd awareness #writing tips #writing characters with npd #writing npd #npd solidarity #ask giles #narcposting #narcissistic personality disorder #npd #actually narcissistic #actually npd #actually cluster b #npd safe #cluster b #cluster b safe #narc

46 notes · View notes