#raymond big naturals

[yappacadaver]

like in this lighting you can really see what i mean right?? they're so round???? maybe it's because he's got big boobgies on a scrawny frame? or maybe he's just shaped like that god. raymond big naturals. god

[johnbrand]

Yusuf Says

When Raymond and I had decided to pause take a break so I could reorganize my life a bit, I had thought that him moving in with his coworker Yusuf was a smart play. My lovable white twink of a partner had nothing in common with the brutish Arab whose scattered English revolved around soccer scores and picking up girls. Raymond and I had even lightheartedly joked that he would pick up a thing or two from Yusuf by the time he came back, somehow be influenced by the overwhelming persona. I would have never expected for that comment to become more than just something to laugh about.

Three months, that was how long we had planned for our separation to be. I had so much on my plate with work and family that I needed time alone to figure everything out. Yusuf had been more than welcoming to Raymond, poking fun at the fact that the two would become “closer than boyfriends” by the time my lover returned back to me. He had even promised to take him out on “dates”, taking over my role as I got knocked back like a divorced dad who only got to see his son on weekends. It was hard, but Raymond and I both knew it was for the best.

The first time I got to visit Raymond at Yusuf’s apartment, I was greeted by the immediate blast of pure masculine stench at the door. It was a combination of used gym clothes, foul-smelling shoes, and strong body odor all fruitlessly covered up with some cheap body spray. I commented on it immediately after hugging my boyfriend, although he noted he did not smell anything. “Yusuf says men should show off their body odor,” Raymond shrugged. “Men should stink and let their pheromones flow naturally.”

This “Yusuf says” statement became a recurring phrase in all of our conversations. Whenever I brought something new up, Raymond would respond with what Yusuf had to say about it. “Yusuf says that men should be muscular, helps us secure our place in society,” “Yusuf says men should spend more time worrying about sports than literature, as it helps relate better to other men.” I should have been worried by my boyfriend’s newfound obsession with Yusuf, but I knew the Arab was not his type. Raymond liked guys that looked like me: hairless, a little twunky, but just barely large enough to make it evident who was topping.

Over the first month, I did not notice many changes about Raymond, but some things did point themselves out as odd. The first time I discovered body hair on my boyfriend I was shocked. “What?” Raymond had asked innocently. “Yusuf says that growing out your hair is natural, it displays masculinity.” I had had no comment to that, surveying the black fur that had begun to coat my boyfriend’s arms, legs, and chest. I had not even known Raymond's body hair was black, as he was a natural blond. 

It was not long until the muscles came too, although I knew that had been coming from the get-go. Yusuf had promised to take him to the gym frequently, and the results were beginning to show–just faster than I had expected. Structured biceps, rippling abs, thick thighs. But eventually when I had met Raymond at the door and his eyeline was above mine, that was when I had started to ask questions. “Yusuf says a grand height is expected of men.” He then swaggered over to the couch, opening up his longer legs before stating “Yusuf says men need to be above 187 centimeters.”

I had not known Raymond easily understood the metric code (as most Americans did not), but I quickly learned there was a lot that I did not know about my boyfriend. When I had tried to gift Raymond new shoes, I had been scolded that they were too small for his big, meaty EU Size 46 feet. When I had politely advised him to be more vigilant about sunscreen, he had rebuked that his olive tan skin was natural. And at one point, I had even accidentally referred to him by the wrong name. “It’s Rahim,” he corrected, his response deep and accented. Of course, all of these responses were followed by some iteration of “...that’s what Yusuf says.”

Finally, the three months came to an end, but by that point it was obvious that Rahim and I’s relationship had too. Rahim wanted to live with someone more masculine, more alpha, more like him. “More Yusuf,” Rahim had dumbly concluded, scratching at his thick, black beard. I could only sigh with disappointment, trying my best not to bone up over the half-naked, manspreading Arab god displaying his glory before me.

I should have known nothing would have ever happened between Rahim and I. As Yusuf had said through Rahim, “Real men like to conquer pussy and continue the traditions that have protected them for so long.” If the state of affairs in the apartment had not been enough of a clue, then Rahim’s constant back-and-forth pit-scratching and finger-sniffing should have been enough to cement his heterosexuality. Bummed, I stood up to leave, but Rahim quickly protested.

“Where you going, bro?” he asked.

“Home,” I replied, lifeless. “We have nothing in common.”

Rahim frowned, “But we do! Are you not a man?”

I paused, watching as Rahim got up and lifted his arm over my head. My eyes widened in fear as I was brought into a damp, musky pit.

“After all, Yusuf says men should show off their body odor.”

[witchthewriter]

𝐌𝐁𝐓𝐈 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐄𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐝

Like I've done with the Hogwarts Houses, Moral Alignment, Tarot Cards and Zodiac (Sun, Moon, Rising); I am now creating a post for MBTI personalities! 16 all together, I've included some tests so if you don't know already, you can now!

Test One (from 16 Personalities, sort of the 'official' test, well the official free test. I think the real one you have to pay.)

Test Two (free don't worry)

Test Three (from truity)

There are sixteen different options that are split into four groups:

Analysts

Intuitive (N) and Thinking (T) personality types, known for their rationality, impartiality, and intellectual excellence.

Diplomats

Intuitive (N) and Feeling (F) personality types, known for their empathy, diplomatic skills, and passionate idealism.

Sentinels

Observant (S) and Judging (J) personality types, known for their practicality and focus on order, security, and stability.

Explorers

Observant (S) and Prospecting (P) personality types, known for their spontaneity, ingenuity, and flexibility.

Analysist: INTJ

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑴𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒅/𝑨𝒓𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒄𝒕

The acronym INTJ stands for introverted, intuitive, thinking, judging. ESFP is the opposite of the INTJ personality type. They're also known as: The Scientist, the Strategist.

𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲:

One of the rarest personality types and one of the most capable

Rational and quick-witted

Not known for being warm and fuzzy. They tend to prioritize rationality and success over politeness and pleasantries 

Architects question everything

Prefers to make their own discoveries

𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐬:

Independent

Introverted

Confident

Analytical

Driven

Ambitious

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐌𝐁𝐓𝐈:

Petyr Baelish

James Moriarty

Gandalf

Wednesday Addams

Walter White

Doctor Strange

Tywin Lannister

Analysist: INTP

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑳𝒐𝒈𝒊𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒏/𝑷𝒓𝒐𝒅𝒊𝒈𝒚

The INTP acronym stands for introverted, intuitive, thinking, perceiving. The opposite of an INTP is either an ESFJ or an ISFP. Also known as 'The Thinker.'

𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲:

Can’t help but puzzle over the mysteries of the universe

Logicians aren’t afraid to stand out from the crowd

Often lose themselves in thought

They put a great deal of consideration into everything they do

Seem to live in a never ending daydream

𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐬:

Analytical

Imaginative

Curious

Radical thinking

Indepedent

Problem solvers

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐌𝐁𝐓𝐈:

Sherlock Holmes

Alice from Alice in Wonderland

Lord Varys

Bruce Banner

Arthur Weasley

Analysist: ENTJ

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑪𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓

It stands for extraverted, intuitive, thinking, judging. ISFP is the opposite personality type of ENTJ. Sometimes referred to as the 'CEO'.

𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲:

Ability to set long-range goals and implement them in an organized manner

They love a good challenge, whether it's big or small

Tend to avoid displays of any type of emotion, so they may be perceived as cold.

They firmly believe that given enough time and resources, they can achieve any goal.

At the negotiating table, be it in a corporate environment or buying a car, Commanders are dominant, relentless, and unforgiving.

𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐬:

Natural born leader

Charismatic

Direct

Organised

Self-assured

Stubborn

Dominant

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐌𝐁𝐓𝐈:

Thomas Shelby

Tony Soprano

Cersei Lannister

Beth Dutton

Milady de Winter

Raymond Reddington

Lyanna Mormont

Analysist: ENTP

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑫𝒆𝒃𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒓

It stands for extroverted, intuitive, thinking and perceiving. ISFJs and ENTPs are two Myers-Briggs personality types that share the same cognitive functions, but in reverse order. Also known as ' the Innovator,' 'the Visionary'.

𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲:

It would be a mistake, though, to think of Debaters as disagreeable or mean-spirited. Instead, people with this personality type are knowledgeable and curious, with a playful sense of humor

No belief is too sacred to be questioned, no idea is too fundamental to be scrutinized, and no rule is too important to be broken

As Debaters see it, most people are too ready to do as they’re told and blindly conform to social norms

They tend to be bold and creative, deconstructing and rebuilding ideas with great mental agility. They pursue their goals vigorously despite any resistance they might encounter.

𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐬:

Quick-witted

Audacious

Rebellious

Outspoken

Puts self first

Charming

Unpredictable

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐌𝐁𝐓𝐈:

Captain Jack Sparrow

Tyrion Lannister

Willy Wonka

The Joker

Irene Adler

Fleabag

Alfie Solomons

Diplomat: INFJ

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑨𝒅𝒗𝒐𝒄𝒂𝒕𝒆/𝑴𝒚𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒄

Is someone with the introverted, intuitive, feeling, and judging personality traits. The opposite to INFJ is the INFP, who will appear less organized and less controlled than the INFJ to others.

𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲:

They tend to approach life with deep thoughtfulness and imagination.

Their inner vision, personal values, and a quiet, principled version of humanism guide them in all things.

People with this personality type care about integrity, and they’re rarely satisfied until they’ve done what they know to be right.

Advocates tend to carry around a sense – whether conscious or not – of being different from most people.

𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐬:

Insightful

Idealistic

Principled

Wise

Moral

Compassionate

Understanding

Passionate

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐌𝐁𝐓𝐈:

Remus Lupin

Elsa

Obi-Wan Kenobi

Jane Eyre

Elizabeth Bennet

Loki

Galadriel

Diplomat: INFP

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑴𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒂𝒕𝒐𝒓/𝑫𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒓

Is someone who possesses the introverted, intuitive, feeling, and prospecting personality traits. ESTJ is the opposite personality type of INFP. Also known as 'the Idealist,' 'the Healer.'

𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲:

These rare personality types tend to be quiet, open-minded, and imaginative, and they apply a caring and creative approach to everything they do.

Although they may seem quiet or unassuming, INFPs have vibrant, passionate inner lives.

Happily lose themselves in daydreams

Known for their sensitivity; they can have profound emotional responses to music, art, nature, and the people around them.

Long for deep, soulful relationships

Mediators have a talent for self-expression. They may reveal their innermost thoughts and secrets through metaphors and fictional characters.

𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐬:

Introspective

Intuitive

Empathetic

Flexible

Idealistic

Curious

Creative

Strong Personal Values

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐌𝐁𝐓𝐈:

Lucy Pevensie

Frodo Baggins

Tina Belcher

Newt Scammander

Wanda Maximoff

Luna Lovegood

Edward Scissorhands

Diplomat: ENFJ

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑷𝒓𝒐𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒐𝒏𝒊𝒔𝒕/𝑴𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒐𝒓

ENFJ is extraverted, intuitive, feeling, and judging personality traits. ISTP is the opposite of the ENFJ personality type. Also known as, 'the Giver,' 'the Teacher.'

𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲:

They're born leaders, with passion and charisma which makes them great politicians, coaches, and teachers.

These warm, forthright types love helping others, and they tend to have strong ideas and values.

They back their perspective with the creative energy to achieve their goals.

Feel called to serve a greater purpose in life

When something strikes them as unjust or wrong, they speak up

These personality types have the ability to pick up on people’s underlying motivations and beliefs

ENFJ’s secret weapon is their purity of intent

They're motivated by a sincere wish to do the right thing

𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐬:

Very extraverted

Great people skills

Warm

Affectionate

Supportive

Great at encouraging others

Thoughtful

Gentle

Kind

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐌𝐁𝐓𝐈:

Margaery Tyrell

Queenie Goldstein

Professor X

Mufasa

Diana Prince / Wonder Woman

Peeta Mellark

Elle Woods

Moana

Diplomat: ENFP

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑪𝒂𝒎𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒈𝒏𝒆𝒓

ENFP stands for extraverted, intuitive, feeling, and prospecting personality traits. ISTJ is the opposite personality type of ENFP. ENFPs are also called the Campaigners or the Encouragers mainly because of their desire to inspire and encourage other people. Also known as, 'the Champion,' 'the Visionary.'

𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲:

These people tend to embrace big ideas and actions that reflect their sense of hope and goodwill toward others.

Their vibrant energy can flow in many directions.

Are true free spirits – outgoing, openhearted, and open-minded.

They can’t help but ponder the deeper meaning and significance of life – even when they should be paying attention to something else.

These people radiate a positive energy that draws in other people

Few things matter more to these personality types than having genuine, heartfelt conversations with the people they cherish

𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐬:

Free-spirited

Optimistic

Idealistic

Open-minded

Curious

Authentic

Inspiring

Intuitive

Imaginative

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐌𝐁𝐓𝐈:

Ariel

Anne of Green Gables

John Keating

Wizard Howl

Jo March

Michael Scott

Peter Parker/Spiderman

Phil Dunphy

Sentinel: ISTJ

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑳𝒐𝒈𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒏/𝑫𝒆𝒕𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒗𝒆

ISTJ stands for introverted, observant, thinking, and judging personality traits. ENFP is the opposite personality type of ISTJ. Also known as 'Duty-Fulfillers'.

𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲:

These people tend to be reserved yet willful, with a rational outlook on life.

They compose their actions carefully and carry them out with methodical purpose.

ISTJs pride themselves on their integrity

Aren’t known for expressing their emotions readily

They strive to meet their obligations no matter what

ISTJs might unfairly misjudge people who can’t match their rigorous self-control – suspecting that someone is being lazy or dishonest when that person might actually be coping with other challenges.

𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐬:

Decisive

Focused

Efficient

Reserved yet willful

Loyal

Blunt

Factual

Logical

Meticulous

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐌𝐁𝐓𝐈:

Hermione Granger

Thorin Oakinshield

Nedd Stark

Rick Grimes

Brienne of Tarth

Jim Hopper

Ron Swanson

Sentinel: ISFJ

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑫𝒆𝒇𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓

ISFJ stands for introverted, observant, feeling, and judging personality traits. The ENTP personality type is the opposite ISFJs. Also known as 'the Protector,' 'the Nurturer.'

𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲:

These people tend to be warm and unassuming in their own steady way.

They’re efficient and responsible, giving careful attention to practical details in their daily lives.

In their unassuming, understated way, Defenders help make the world go round.

They invest a great deal of energy into maintaining strong connections with their loved ones

Known for dropping everything and lending a hand whenever a friend or family member is going through a hard time.

Defenders’ sense of loyalty doesn’t stop with their nearest and dearest – it often extends to their communities, their employers, and even family traditions.

For ISFJs, “good enough” is rarely good enough. People with this personality type can be meticulous to the point of perfectionism.

𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐬:

Warm-hearted

Responsible

Sensitive

Reliable

Caring

Will do anything for those they care about

Generous

Defenders tend to underplay their accomplishments but they eventually become resentful toward the people who just don’t seem to appreciate them.

Excellent analytical abilities and an eye for detail

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐌𝐁𝐓𝐈:

Steve Rogers/ Captain America

Jennifer Honey (Miss Honey from Matilda)

Beth March

Charlie Buckets

Samwise Gamgee

Dr Watson

Will Turner

Sentinel: ESTJ

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑬𝒙𝒆𝒄𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒗𝒆/𝑪𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒂𝒊𝒏

ESTJ stands for extraverted, observant, thinking, and judging personality traits. INFP is the opposite personality type of ESTJ. Also known as 'the Supervisor,' 'the Composer.'

𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲:

They possess great fortitude, emphatically following their own sensible judgment.

They often serve as a stabilizing force among others, able to offer solid direction amid adversity.

ESTJs feel most comfortable when there are established procedures in place

Taking pride in bringing people together

The main challenge for Executives is to recognize that not everyone follows the same path

Executives are classic images of the model citizen: they help their neighbors, uphold the law, and try to make sure that everyone participates in the communities and organizations they hold so dear.

𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐬:

Productive

Task-Orientated

Pragmatic

Enjoy order and structure in life

Focuses on facts and details rather than ideas and concepts

Confident

Natural leaders and have a strong work ethic

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐌𝐁𝐓𝐈:

Mary Poppins

Peter Pevensie

Borormir

Monica Gellar

Hector Barboss

Claire Dunphy

Miranda Bailey

Mycroft Holmes

Sentinel: ESFJ

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑪𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒖𝒍

ESFJ stands for extraverted, observant, feeling, and judging personality traits. ISTP is the opposite personality type to ESFJs because they often struggle to be practical. Also known as, 'the Caregiver,' 'the Host.'

𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲:

They are attentive and people-focused, and they enjoy taking part in their social community.

Their achievements are guided by decisive values, and they willingly offer guidance to others.

Energized by time spent with others

Consuls do believe in the power of hospitality and good manners, and they tend to feel a sense of duty to those around them

Consuls have a talent for making the people in their lives feel supported, cared for, and secure.

They believe that there is a clear right thing to do in nearly every situation

ESFJs have a clear moral compass

𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐬:

Attentive

People-focused

Generous

Reliable

Tender-hearted

Organised

Focused

Strong sense of duty

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐌𝐁𝐓𝐈:

Anna Smith

Molly Weasley

Bilbo Baggins

Effie Trinket

Sansa Stark

Cher Horowitz

Nala

Leslie Knope

Explorer: ISTP

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑽𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒖𝒐𝒔𝒐

ISTP stands for introverted, observant, thinking, and prospecting personality traits. ENFJ is the opposite of the ISTP personality type. Also known as, 'the Vigilante,' 'the Crafter,' 'the Analyser,' 'the Artisan.'

𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲:

They tend to have an individualistic mindset, pursuing goals without needing much external connection.

They engage in life with inquisitiveness and personal skill, varying their approach as needed.

Virtuosos love to explore with their hands and their eyes, touching and examining the world around them with cool rationalism and spirited curiosity.

Energized by time spent alone

Virtuosos are likely to go too far, accepting likewise retaliation, good or bad, as fair play.

Act too soon

They’ll be the first to tell an insensitive joke, get overly involved in someone else’s project, roughhouse and play around, or suddenly change their plans because something more interesting came up.

𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐬:

Individualistic mindset

Logical

Loves action and new experiences

Logical but adaptable

Enigmatic

A lot of impulsive energy

Have a “do unto others” attitude

Self-sufficient

Tough

Independent

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐌𝐁𝐓𝐈:

Arya Stark

Jason Bourne

Jessica Jones

Jace Herondale

Indiana Jones

Rosa Diaz

Rue Bennett

John Wick

Wolverine

Explorer: ISFP

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑨𝒅𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆𝒓

ISFP means introverted, observant, feeling, and prospecting personality traits. ISFP is the opposite of ENTJ: the commander, who is upfront outgoing and demanding. ISFP is quiet and unassuming. Also known as, 'the Artist, 'the Composer.'

𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲:

They tend to have open minds, approaching life, new experiences, and people with grounded warmth.

Their ability to stay in the moment helps them uncover exciting potentials.

Adventurers tend to see themselves as “just doing their own thing,” so they may not even realize how remarkable they really are.

Quiet and reserved, people with this personality type are keen observers; they enjoy the moment and what’s happening around them.

Embrace a flexible, adaptable approach to life.

Remarkably tolerant and open-minded.

𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐬:

Gentle

Compassionate

Tend to live in the here and now

Love to be active

And love interacting with others

Carefree

Playful

Spontaneous

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐌𝐁𝐓𝐈:

Claire Fraser

Eowyn

Bella Swan

Jon Snow

Cinna

Zuko

Cedric Diggory

Explorer: ESFP

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑬𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒕𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒓

ESFP stands for extraverted, observant, feeling, and prospecting personality traits. INTJ is the opposite personality type of ESFP. People with this personality type tend to be outgoing, friendly, and impulsive, acquiring the most enjoyment from being in the presence of others. Also known as, 'the Performer.'

𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲:

These people love vibrant experiences, engaging in life eagerly and taking pleasure in discovering the unknown.

They can be very social, often encouraging others into shared activities.

These people love vibrant experiences

ESFPs get caught up in the excitement of the moment, and want everyone else to feel that way, too.

No other personality type is as generous with their time and energy as Entertainers when it comes to encouraging others, and no other personality type does it with such irresistible style.

Many famous people with the Entertainer personality type are indeed actors

There’s no greater joy for them than just having fun with a good group of friends.

Have the strongest aesthetic sense of any personality type; an eye for fashion.

𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐬:

Spontaneous

Humorous

Comedic-relief

Thoughtful

Well-liked

Resourceful

Outgoing

Friendly

Love the spotlight

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐌𝐁𝐓𝐈:

Steve Harrington

Jesper Fahey

Arthur Shelby

Rose Tyler

Jesse Pinkman

Andy Bernard

Explorer: ESTP

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑬𝒏𝒕𝒓𝒆𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒖𝒓/𝑫𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒅𝒆𝒗𝒊𝒍

ESTP stands for extraverted, observant, thinking, and prospecting personality traits. INFJ is the opposite personality type of ESTP. Also known as, 'the Doer,' 'the Action-Seeker,' 'the Persuader.'

𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲:

They tend to be energetic and action-oriented, deftly navigating whatever is in front of them.

They love uncovering life’s opportunities, whether socializing with others or in more personal pursuits.

They love using common sense to find smarter ways of doing things.

While they are dedicated to whatever they're working on, they don't like to be micromanaged or told what to do by others.

They thrive by being the center of attention.

Always have an impact on their immediate surroundings

If an audience member is asked to come on stage, Entrepreneurs volunteer

They have a special ability to react quickly in an emergency or crisis situation.

𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐬:

Adventurous

Thrill-seeking

Energetic

Outgoing

Charismatic

Persuasive

Live in a world of action

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐌𝐁𝐓𝐈:

Rebecca Sharp

Jaime Lannister

Aquaman

Gimli

Sirius Black

Han Solo

Jennifer Check

𝑻𝒊𝒑𝒔 𝒐𝒏 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒍𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌:

Extraversion (E) – Introversion (I)

Extraverts (also often spelled extroverts) are "outward-turning" and tend to be action-oriented, enjoy more frequent social interaction, and feel energized after spending time with other people. Introverts are "inward-turning" and tend to be thought-oriented, enjoy deep and meaningful social interactions, and feel recharged after spending time alone.

Sensing (S) – Intuition (N)

People who prefer sensing tend to pay a great deal of attention to reality, particularly to what they can learn from their own senses. They tend to focus on facts and details and enjoy getting hands-on experience. Those who prefer intuition pay more attention to things like patterns and impressions. They enjoy thinking about possibilities, imagining the future, and abstract theories.

Thinking (T) – Feeling (F)

This scale focuses on how people make decisions based on the information that they gathered from their sensing or intuition functions. People who prefer thinking place a greater emphasis on facts and objective data.

Judging (J) – Perceiving (P)

The final scale involves how people tend to deal with the outside world. Those who lean toward judging prefer structure and firm decisions. People who lean toward perceiving are more open, flexible, and adaptable. These two tendencies interact with the other scales.

[sxnshxnxxnddxxsxxs]

Duke Thomas headcannons becuase please just write him as a black boy:

the first time there’s a summer rain at night after he moves into Wayne Manor Duke sets up the speakers and the floodlights and lives out his 00’s rnb music video dreams

after that Alfred will sometimes drive him around in the back of one of the cars when it rains at night because he doesn’t want his latest grandson to get hypothermia but understands that it is very important to live out 00’s rnb music video dreams

Duke teaches Cass the Usher watch this thing and originally they only use it to tell each other that they’re gonna do some dumb shit but then Cass decides she really likes it and uses it more than the actual sign

Duke and Cass have a theme song because they are besties and that theme song is black and yellow by Wiz Khalifa whenever it plays they drop everything to rap to each other and if anyone turns it off before it finishes they start it again even louder it becomes a great distraction technique for other batfamily members. they chose the song because of their uniforms but the first time a civilian sees how enthusiastic they are about the song they draw a different conclusion and they find it so funny that they definitely have to keep it as their theme song from now on

Duke lives a no shoes in the house life no matter who’s house it is or what everyone else is doing

He also keeps his Signal uniform exclusively in the batcave because no uniforms in the Manor seems like the natural extension for no outside clothes in bed

Duke sneaks scotch bonnets into the Manor kitchen generally timed with the occasions that Jason is around and in the mood to cook. Dinner those nights feature running eyes and noses from Bruce Tim and Steph along with all the milk in the Manor finishing. It’s great entertainment for Duke Cass Damian Jason and Dick

Duke has locs he lowkey thinks about bleaching the ends to match the aesthetic of his uniform but he’s unsure of if it will make him to conspicuous

When he first moved to the Manor he got pooled into the schedule to pick up hair shop (beauty supply store) supplies with the Fox’s because they’re all way too busy of people to be driving out of the way individually so it only made sense to add Duke to that. He and Tam also timetable his retwist appointments with her hair appointments for the same time

Duke is an instigator Jason and Tim will be having a petty squabble that is about to fizzle out but then Duke walks past them and just whispers a quick “if I were you I wouldn’t have that” and then an hour later a priceless vase is broken there’s holes in the wall and Tim and Jason have matching black eyes. Duke considers it a public service to provide Babs with entertainment for when Oracle hours a slow she agrees and doesn’t snitch on just how much shit Duke starts so he can get away with even more

Duke joins Jason and Alfred’s book club and the first book he picks is Beloved because like they’re in this big old gothic manor respect the aesthetic

One time Bruce walks passed Duke on ft to his friends and he’s performing “Wisdom” and Bruce thinks it’s something Duke came up with himself and is trying to be a supportive dad and is like “that’s great son” with a really strained smile and Duke just sticks to the bit like “you really think so?” bruce even more pained “yeah it’s amazing”

He also has exclusively satin pillowcases and gives everyone in the Manor a set because it’s good for the hair and therefore a good use of Bruce’s rich people money

Duke upon realising that he was gonna be adopted by a bunch of crime fighting pseudofurries and was going to join them in the crime fighting said this some white people shit and that’s why he chose Signal rather than some bioluminescent bird

[ssweetleaf]

graphic nature.

summary: you’re a sex worker, and ray finds you selling your body for time, something he’s told you he doesn’t want you doing again.

raymond leon x fem!reader

includes: SMUT 18+, shit ending be warned, handcuffs, slapping, ray’s in love but he just can’t show it :((

a/n: so this is kinda weird, i don’t know where this came from, i didn’t have the energy to really finish it, so if it seems rushed, that’s because it is lol, maybe I’ll write a part 2 if i feel like it.

˖ ࣪⭑

With not a lot of time on your hands, there was a big reason why you did what you did. And however frowned upon your job description was, it kept you alive, kept you fed— kept you with a healthy wad of time on your wrist.

Roaming in the wealthy streets of New Greenwich offered you countless men to spend the night with, prostituting yourself in exchange for a hefty fee, a couple weeks, hell, maybe months worth of time clocked onto your watch once you were done.

So, like any other night, you waited, clad in a pretty dress and pantyhose, garters showing, all lacey and cute— in no time a patron drove up beside you, window down and sleeves rolled up, making sure the ticking of his years were on show.

You were about to bend down, lean against the door of his car, give him a few of your usual lines, a teasing smile playing on your lips while he offered to take you back to a hotel suite.

But not today, it seemed.

“Can’t begin to count how many times I’ve found you doin’ this, y/n,” the familiar voice sighed mockingly, and you turned to find him, Ray, the most well-known time keeper of the area, and your most loyal customer. “Just can’t seem to get it in that dumb brain of yours that what you’re doing is illegal.”

You turned back to the man in front of you, only to soon have him realise who had caught you, speeding off down the highway in his stupidly flash car, leaving the timekeeper to chuckle from behind you, the leather of his coat squeaking when he decided to cross his arms.

“What’re you gonna do, Ray?” You rolled your eyes, stepping closer towards him as if trying to intimate him in some way, though your attempts were futile. “You gonna arrest me?”

He smirked, cockily running his tongue along his teeth, smacking his lips before giving you a pout, one to mock you, to make you feel small.

“Y’know, sweetheart, maybe I will.” He hummed, slowly moving in closer, faces merely centimetres apart, mouth so mind-numbingly close to yours, your eyes staring dumbly at his pretty lips, all plump and glistening from running his tongue along—

With a sudden harshness, he spun you around, bending you over and pressing you firmly against the hood of his car. Your cheek smooshed against it while he took both of your wrists and pinned them behind your back, the jingle of handcuffs rang through your ears when he opened them up, slipping them over your wrists before tightening them with a sharp click on each side.

The metal dug into the flesh of your wrists, biting raw rings around them when you tugged and squirmed.

“You-” you started, struggling from under his gaze, one of his palms pressed to the space between your shoulders, keeping you in place. “You can’t do this, Raymond!”

Ray chuckled, pressing closer towards you, leaning his face against your cheek when he hovered over your back.

“I’m a timekeeper, honey,” he cooed mockingly, tip of his tongue grazing the shell of your ear and it caused a shiver to run along the length of your spine. “I can do whatever the fuck I want.”

You whined, huffing out a breath, tugging and tugging at your restraints as if somehow they’d just slip from your wrists with no problem.

“Besides, I thought I told you,” he ran his tongue along his lips, smacking his spit, breath fanning along your neck. “Only I get to touch you, you’re my whore and you work for me, you understand?”

You stayed silent.

He huffed out a breath, disappointed in your lack of participation, spinning you around so your back was against the hood instead, bringing his big palm up to your cheek in a sharp, searing smack, heavy and painful enough to jolt your head to one side.

You whimpered at the sting, feeling your cheek bloom with the welt, the warmth of his handprint still heavy on your skin.

“Let me say this nice and slow for you, sweetheart— I know you’re just too stupid to understand,” he clutched at your throat, fingers closing against the sides of your throat, squeezing almost mind-numbingly. “I said. Do. You. Understand?”

He punctuated his speech with little squeezes to your throat, your breathing laboured from the constriction, wanting so desperately to claw at his wrists, but those stupid handcuffs got in the way.

“Yes,” you choked out, nodding as best as you could, lashes fluttering from the lack of oxygen. “I-I understand, Ray.”

“Good girl,” he pouted, cooing at you mockingly and shaking your head from side to side. “wasn’t so hard was it, dumb girl?”

From the position you were in, you could get a good look at him. You had missed him- missed this, you hadn’t seen him for a while, his mind occupied on chasing down a certain Will Salas, of course he had made you promise to stay loyal, to not seek any men to take you home, to accept any form of touch that wasn’t his, but how were you supposed to agree? Your time was ticking, you couldn’t afford to mope around and wait for him, you had to work, to seek wealthy men and drain them of their time in exchange for sex.

“Missed you,” you spoke, barely above a whisper, eyes flitting over his form watching his jaw clench and nostrils flare. He couldn’t meet your stare.

“M’takin’ you home,” he muttered, pushing you by the shoulders and swinging the passenger door open.

“Will you at least take these cuffs off?” You pouted, turning your head to bat your lashes at him from over your shoulder. His lip quirked up in a smirk, sponging an oddly chaste kiss to your cheek before pressing his mouth against the shell of your ear. Your breath hitched.

“Not a chance.”

-

Raymond drove you to his apartment, it wasn’t the first time you had seen the place, in fact you had become quite familiar with it— little glimpses of Ray’s life littered the space, his taste somewhat minimalistic, but oddly homely.

He pressed you against his front door once it clicked closed, hands still awkwardly positioned and you struggled in a feeble attempt to break free from your restraint.

Ray’s mouth was on yours in an instant, mostly tongue and teeth, spit trickling down your chin at the rough attack of it all. He cradled your jaw in his hands, suckling your tongue between his lips, groaning at the breathy sighs you emitted.

“All mine,” he murmured against your mouth, pulling away to give your cheek a slap, a silver string of spit still connecting your mouths together. “Say it. Say you’re mine.”

Your tongue swiped over your swollen lips, eyes hooded, completely submerged in the will to submit.

“M’yours,” you whimpered. He slapped you once more and your cheek bloomed with heat.

“Again, say it again.”

“M’yours, Ray—” you leaned forward to nudge your nose against his. “all yours.”

He sighed, the sound akin to a whimper when you uttered his name, his lashes fluttered and he pressed his pelvis firmly against your belly.

He was hard. So fucking hard, and your mouth watered, longing for it to be in your mouth, the taste of his pre-cum on your tongue, just lapping and suckling for as long as you could handle.

“Feel what you do to me, baby,” he groaned, grinding against you, fingers tangling in your hair and his lips on your jaw. “S’all your fault.”

You bit at your lip to suppress a needy moan when he shrugged his leather coat from his shoulders, hands back on you again in an instant.

“Thought I told you to wait for me, sweetheart,” he spoke, brows furrowing and you itched to smooth the crease out with the pad of your thumb. “thought I told you to stop whorin’ around.”

Ray’s hand slipped to your throat, fingers and thumb pressing against the sides of your neck, leaving your head all swirly and light.

You frowned, choking out your words between breaths.

“I don’t have the time to wait for you.”

He was selfish, too much of a coward to take care of you and settle down with you instead of fucking promises out of your mouth, having you say you’re his when he wasn’t even yours.

It frustrated you.

“Oh, it’s time you want?” He chuckled dryly, “gee, honey, thought I wasn’t just one of your customers.”

He lifted his sleeve, the seconds on his arm ticking downward— tickticktick, until he reached behind you and pressed his wrist against your own.

The seconds, minutes, hours all went down in a blur, transferring to your time, adding on a hefty amount.

You gasped, trying to push him away as his life span quickly became merely hours.

“Raymond-” you struggled in his grip. “Raymond, stop it!”

He pulled away, his clock down to an hour, that was all. Fifty-nine minutes and fifty-seven seconds, fifty-six, fifty-five…

“See,” he breathed, pushing your hair to tuck behind your ear, “now you have all the time in the world.”

[dawnbreakersgaze]

NOPE

NO

NO THANK YOU

I don't like the way those are lining up AT ALL.

"Broken free of the shackles of natural law"

We've heard/seen Zayne be referenced as "shackled" at least 3 times before at this point. By Raymond, by the 'Narrator' ("remains shackled to time"), and in reference to the Foreseer myth. This makes the 4th. I genuinely hurt every single time the story so heavy handidly reminds me that Zayne really is a dog on a chain. The Foreseer robes even have a LITERAL collar of thorns over the neck of it ffs. It's painful to watch at this point and it breaks my heart.

"Why persuade Zayne? What he really needs is a pair of hands. Ones that can carry out God's mission and allow for God's descent."

Between this, and the one below of-

"At least he has another option. His last one"

I'm torn on which one is referencing Astra. On one hand, Astra really could be a modern made "God". An elevated man of great power, someone Zayne turned to in his 11th hour to try and save MC (though we all know how that turned out, unfortunately). It would seem that Xander Sciences is playing at God, and if we know anything about the sci-fi scene, it's that human experimentation ALWAYS ends up going ~soooo well~ and nothing ever goes wrong there 👀

On the other hand, the "last option" really gets my gut feeling going. My theorist brain is telling me Zayne is gonna go full Warlock pact and make a deal with an entity in exchange for MC's life. Only it's gonna go tits up and be a Fey pact, and because we all know how MC and he end up, clearly Zayne did NOT read the fine print (or more likely, Zayne thought he could out maneuver the rules). Ever since I read the Mt Eternal anecdote and realized the Tower and Mt Eternal are in the same location, I could not shake the feeling that Zayne already has made contact with whatever "Astra" is. Be it a very powerful person, an actual God, or someone else entirely different (like another time traveler, such as Xavier and the backtrackers). We know he's traveling back there multiple times by himself, conducting research of an unknown variety, that only he and Dr. Noah are privy to. I'm just saying if ever there was a cover up for having contact with a supernatural being/aliens/a God, that's a really fucking good one.

Whatever it is, this new lore drop has really really spelled out in big bold letters, that Zayne is thought of as a tool by a LOT of people. Xander Sciences, Astra, even the Dean of the medical academy had a moment there. My poor man even thinks of himself as a tool, one that is meant to save MC (from himself he even says at one point 😭😭😭 like oh my God Zayne stoppppp). He literally considers himself expendable so long as he saves her. Once he's done his job and secured her future, even if that means passing on the ability to save her to someone else, he's fine laying down his life for that.

And that's seriously the saddest part of this whole fucking game imo.

[pad-wubbo]

All AAI2 official English character and case names rated based on whether I think they're better or worse than the fan translation equivalents:

Di-Jun Huang > Di-Jun Wang - It's the same.

Horace Knightley > Bronco Knight - Worse.

Ethan Rooke > Bastian Rook - Worse.

Nicole Swift > Tabby Lloyd - Much better.

Raymond Shields > Eddie Fender - Slightly worse.

Jay Elbird > Rocco Carcerato - Much better.

Simon Keyes > Simeon Saint - Slightly worse.

Sebastian Debeste > Eustace Winner - Sounds worse, fits better.

Justine Courtney > Verity Gavèlle - Much better.

Sirhan Dogen > Bodhidharma Kanis - Much better.

Patricia Roland > Fifi Laguarde - Much better, they've already done "patrol" twice.

Jeff Master > Samson Tangaroa - More unique, less punny. Not sure.

Katherine Hall > Judy Bound - Slightly worse because no food pun.

Isaac Dover > Artie Frost - References his nature as an artist, better.

Pierre Hoquet > Paul Halique - Same as Japanese name, no longer parrot.

Dane Gustavia > Carmelo Gusto - Worse, doesn't sound as awesome.

Delicia Scones > Delicia Scone - It's the same.

Karin Jenson > Florence Niedler - Much better. Florence Nightingale and needles.

Bonnie Young > Hilda Hertz - Better, because alliterative.

Jill Crane > Rosie Ringer - Better, alliterative. Different nursery rhyme.

Blaise Debeste > Excelsius Winner - The absolute Winner among these names. It's so pompous, contains "celsius" and "excel" and just sounds like he went to Oxford.

John Marsh > Shaun Fenn - It's the same. Shaun means John and fen means marsh.

Amy Marsh > Amelie Fenn - It's the same.

Dai-Long Lang > Da-Long Lang - It's the same.

Jack Cameron > Alf Aldown - Better, only because it's a Deid Mann tier awful name rather than a boring realistic name.

Turnabout Target > Turnabout Trigger - Better, sounds more like a presidential assassination attempt.

The Imprisoned Turnabout > The Captive Turnabout - Better, less long-winded.

The Inherited Turnabout > Turnabout Legacy - Better for same reason as above.

The Forgotten Turnabout > A Turnabout Forsaken - Sounds more pretentious, but probably better because less confusion with The Lost Turnabout, where Phoenix forgets.

The Grand Turnabout > Turnabout for the Ages - Worse, I think. It sounds cooler, but doesn't have any chess connotations. They should have called it "The Grandmaster's Turnabout" or "Turnabout Checkmate", I think.

Also, have updated case cards to help you get used to the new names.

EDIT;

Some extra things:

* iFly Airlines in AAI1 has been reverted to its Japanese name of "GoYou". This was probably done because iFly is the name of a real Russian airline with global sanctions against it since 2022.

* As a result, Hugo Ifly is now Ugo Hughes and the tanuki called Mr. Ifly is now Captain Ugo.

* Moozilla is now Taurusaurus, which I think is a better name.

* The Grand Tower is now the Bigg Building, suggesting that Big is not merely its size, but a Mr. Bigg is its proprietor.

* The Zodiac Hall galleries are now referred to as seasonal "Wings" rather than "Palaces". Makes more sense.

* Edgeworth Law Offices is now referred to as Edgeworth and Co. Law Offices, the Co. being Eddie Fender (aka Ray Shields). Again, makes more sense.

* Rocky the bear is now Teddy, since his owner is now already Rocco as a Rocky reference.

* Anubis the hunting dog is now Helmut, a lame pun on "hell mutt".

* Astique the elephant is now Azea, like an "Asian" elephant.

* Ally the alligator is still the same. Regina Berry is not very good at naming animals.

[ilovetoxicfictionalmen]

You make a bet with Raymond Leon

Warnings - 18+, dirty smut.

Notes - First little drabble has to be with yours truly, Timekeeper Raymond Leon.

Word Count - 500+

“How’s the view down there?” Raymond grinned. 

Even though you were both timekeepers, you and Raymond were not friendly with one another. Naturally Raymond thinks he’s better than you since you’re just a girl. The workplace enjoyed watching your bickering and grudges against one another. Yet, despite your hatred for one another, the attraction was clearly there, and the tension made your core squeeze and his cock twitch. 

It was your idea, a case you both egotistically wanted to close, instead of closing it together, it became a competition, whoever closed it got to do whatever they wanted to the other. But he cheated, he stole your leads and got all of the glory, and he got you. 

Your eyes batted up to him, he was still fully dressed minus the jacket, but you were completely naked before him on your knees. His cock hanging out of his pants was bobbing in and out of your mouth, you moaned around his size. 

“Come on, be a good little slut and make me come. Then I’ll consider letting you come around my big cock. Do you like the sound of that?” Raymond condescended, he was talking to you like you were below him, well technically you were. 

Even though you were in denial of enjoying this, you knew you were dripping. Palms placed on his thighs, you went as far as you could, but that didn’t satisfy Raymond. He gripped onto your hair and pulled you right down his length, your nose pressed against the base of his pubic hair. You were gagging, but he didn’t care, he just held you there. 

“See? You can take me whole, all whore can” he grunted. “Tell me, was this just a plan to get me to fuck you? Too up yourself to submit to me willingly? I bet you slacked off on that case on purpose. Maybe I will let you come, just so you can stop being such a stuck up bitch” Raymond chortled, thrusting quickly. 

When Raymond felt his balls tighten, he pulled himself out, you gasped for air. Quickly jerking himself off, his tip was pointed right at your eye level. 

“Better open up wide darling” he groaned. 

You did so, eyes shutting because the last thing you’d want is his semen in your eyes. With a soft moan, Raymond ejaculated all across your face. You didn’t know a man could spurt out so fucking much. He murmured as you began to wipe your face clean with your hand. 

“You better be wiping that into your mouth” Raymond snarled.

You huffed, and did as you were told. To be fair, it could have tasted so much worse. Swallowing it all down, you wobbly stood up. Raymond smirked to you and wrapped his arms around your heated body. Pulling you to the table, he bent you over, his hand trailed over your gushing entrance. 

“You fucking cheated” you hissed, hands naturally gripped across onto the edges. Raymond spat onto his hand and slapped your slit making you cry out. 

“Maybe next time set some better rules and regulations darling” Raymond sighed as he pushed himself inside of you in one easy push. “Or not, because fuck am I enjoying this. Remind me why we've never done this before?”

[fabfem12]

Transsexualism and the disingenuous nature they discuss Sex dysphoria

A common theme I have noticed among transsexuals, especially the transmedicalists or 'true transsexuals', is how, when discussing gender and the reasoning behind their transition to radical feminists, they detach themselves from the concept of gender entirely. They act in a totally disingenuous manner and act as if because transsexualism has sex in its name, it is about sex, when in fact, they are aware that the entire premise of transsexualism is to address gender incongruence that manifests as sex dysphoria. This condescending gaslighting only works when one is blatantly unaware of the origin of transsexualism.

Transsexualism originated from male sexologists, primarily in the U.S., who developed a medical model to help men who 'were trapped in women's bodies'; these men mainly were homosexuals. The idea behind the creation of the transexual is that the desire to perform a social role (gender) is hard-wired into each and every individual and cannot be unchanged [the idea is courtesy of John Money]. Hence, a man who wants to perform the social role of a woman or rejects the social roles placed on them because of their sex is a woman. This idea reifies the idea of gender as an innate, immutable characteristic that an individual is born with.

Now, when I see FTMs leaving messages in radical feminist inboxes that they actually have sex dysphoria, and it has nothing to do with gender because they don't mind doing girlie things or they don't identify with stereotypes, I shake my head at how surface level their critic is or how surface level they believe the radical feminist analysis is. In the Transsexual Empire, on Pages 81-82, Raymond talks about how FTMs experience similar role strain to women. Role strain means not wanting to adhere to strict gender roles. Transmen and AFAB nonbinary people have a hard time adhering to the socially constructed roles given to female and male people because they are more conscious that it is socially constructed by men as they have spent a significant portion of their lives as females. It is no surprise when I see TIFs that are not as committed to playing a hypermasculinist role.

However, where TIFs become very uncritical is when they evaluate the role that femininity plays in the alienation of the self. Many transmen are aware of the damage reifying sex roles causes as they were raised as female. Yet, they stop critically evaluating how femininity can alienate one from one's self... especially in their own case. They often negate or undermine how the female gender, the caste system that perpetuates the ideology that women are inferior [and should be treated as such], goes far beyond benign "girls wearing pink or makeup and dresses", etc... those are symbols of gender, not gender itself.

A lot of TIFs do not realise that when you live in a society that tells you that because you are born with a vagina, you are inherently inferior to your male counterpart, you become profoundly alienated from yourself, especially when a BIG part of this conditioning is that you WANT to be subjugated. Hence, the body becomes a curse, and your femaleness is something you need to overcome as your femaleness is forever tethered to inferiority in a patriarchal society.

This is the reality whether you are consciously aware of it. The female gender has alienated you from your body, thus manifesting itself in your life as sex dysphoria. Your sex is not the issue; gender is. It is expected to be alienated from the female gender. It is not inherent or innate to any female person.

[innervoiceart]

"Nature Boy" was Nat King Cole's first big hit, since then it has been covered over 1223 times! The story behind the song is even more sensational

Joe Moondad has the strange story of eden ahbez:

"In the late 40s, there was a rumor that there was a "hermit," disenchanted and disillusioned with the world, supposedly "out-of-sync" with society, living in California in a cave under one of the L’s in the Hollywood sign.

No one really cared about this strange man, until one night in 1947, when someone tried to enter backstage at the Lincoln Theater in Los Angeles. Nat King Cole was playing there, and the man said he had something for Cole. Of course, the employees didn't let the strange man see Cole, so he gave whatever he had with Cole's manager.

What he had was a song sheet, which Cole would later take a look at. Cole liked the song and wanted to record it, but he had to find the strange man. When asked, the people who saw the man said he was strange, indeed, with shoulder-length hair and beard, wearing sandals and a white robe.

Cole finally tracked him down in New York City. When Cole asked him where he was staying, the strange man declared he was staying at the best hotel in New York - outside, literally, in Central Park. He said his name was eden ahbez (spelled all in lower-case letters). The song he gave Cole was titled, "Nature Boy." It became Cole's first big hit, and was soon covered by other artists through the years, from Frank Sinatra and Sarah Vaughan to Tony Bennett and Lady Gaga, most recently.

Of course, the media went crazy about the strange, mysterious man who handed Nat King Cole, one of the biggest hits during that time. Everyone went out to try to find out more about him.

What little they found was that he was once an orphan, who never stayed at one place very long, living in various foster homes. He explained he just never fit in and was always searching, for something.

["They say he wandered very far...

Very far, over land and sea..."

They found out he would hop freight trains and walked across country several times, subsisting solely on raw fruits and vegetables, then one day he completely vanished.

["A little shy and sad of eye...

But very wise was he..."]

He finally showed up again in the Hollywood hills. When a policeman stopped the strange, long-haired man with beard, sandals, and robe, ahbez simply replied, "I look crazy but I'm not. And the funny thing is that other people don't look crazy but they are."

["And then one day...

One magic day he passed my way..."]

He then showed up backstage at Nat King Cole's concert in Los Angeles, to present him with the song, "Nature Boy." No one seems to really know why he selected Cole, there were some rumors that he came out of hiding when he began to hear about the racism going on and trouble throughout the world, and he thought "King" was the best person at that time to pass his message along.

["While we spoke of many things...

Fools and Kings..."]

When he was asked about racism, he replied, "Some white people hate black people, and some white people love black people, some black people hate white people, and some black people love white people. So you see it's not an issue of black and white, it's an issue of Lovers and Haters."

It was that theme of love that he continued to talk about, what was missing in the world, and what would be needed in the future if we are to survive.

ahbez would eventually get his message out, especially after the counter-culture finally caught up with him and the hippie movement began, when other artists such as Donovan, Grace Slick, and the Beach Boys' Brian Wilson sought him out. He also wrote songs for Eartha Kitt and had another song recorded by Sam Cooke.

In 2009, Congressman Bill Aswad recited the last lyrics of the song before the Vermont House of Representatives at the passing of his state's same-sex marriage bill in '09.

Author Raymond Knapp described the track as a "mystically charged vagabond song" whose lyrics evoked an intense sense of loss and haplessness, with the final line delivering a universal truth, described by Knapp as "indestructible" and "salvaged somehow from the perilous journey of life."

["This he said to me...

The greatest thing you'll ever learn...

Is just to love and be loved in return."]

"George Alexander Aberle (April 15, 1908 – March 4, 1995), known as eden ahbez, was an American songwriter and recording artist of the 1940s to 1960s, whose lifestyle in California was influential in the hippie movement.

He was known to friends simply as ahbe.

Ahbez composed the song "Nature Boy", which became a No. 1 hit for eight weeks in 1948 for Nat "King" Cole.

Living a bucolic life from at least the 1940s, he traveled in sandals and wore shoulder-length hair and beard, and white robes. He camped out below the first L in the Hollywood Sign above Los Angeles and studied Oriental mysticism. He slept outdoors with his family and ate vegetables, fruits, and nuts. He claimed to live on three dollars per week.

In the mid-1950s, he wrote songs for Eartha Kitt, Frankie Laine, and others, as well as writing some rock-and-roll novelty songs. In 1957, his song "Lonely Island" was recorded by Sam Cooke, becoming the second and final Ahbez composition to hit the Top 40.

In 1959, he began recording instrumental music, which combined his signature somber tones with exotic arrangements and (according to the record sleeve) "primitive rhythms". He often performed bongo, flute, and poetry gigs at beat coffeehouses in the Los Angeles area. In 1960, he recorded his only solo LP, Eden's Island, for Del-Fi Records.

This mixed beatnik poetry with exotica arrangements. Ahbez promoted the album through a coast-to-coast walking tour making personal appearances, but it sold poorly.

During the 1960s, ahbez released five singles. Grace Slick's band, the Great Society, recorded a version of "Nature Boy" in 1966 and ahbez was photographed in the studio with Brian Wilson during a session for the Smile album in early 1967. Later that year, British singer Donovan sought out ahbez in Palm Springs, and the two wanderers shared a reportedly "near-telepathic" conversation. In the 1970s, Big Star's Alex Chilton recorded a version of "Nature Boy" with the photographer William Eggleston on piano. The song was finally released as a bonus track on the 1992 Rykodisc re-release of the album Third/Sister Lovers.

In 1974, ahbez was reported to be living in the Los Angeles suburb of Sunland, and he owned a record label named Sunland Records, for which he was recording under the name "Eden Abba." From the late 1980s until his death, ahbez worked closely with Joe Romersa, an engineer/drummer in Los Angeles. The master tapes, photos, and final works of eden ahbez are in Romersa's possession.

Ahbez died on March 4, 1995, of injuries sustained in a car accident, at the age of 86. Another album, Echoes from Nature Boy, was released posthumously."

[popculturebuffet]

Top 12 Captain Holt Plots (B99): RIP Andre Braugher

Andre Braugher 1962-2023

So as if this year hadn't piled enough death on me.. yesterday Andre Braugher of Brooklyn 99 fame died. Braugher was a comedic genius, great at drama and it's sad to see him go just as his career was having one hell of a second act.

Figuring out how to honor Andre.. was tough. I didn't have time for a full review of some of his best episodes, a story arc or the normal things i'd do, and a list of just Holt's best moments wouldn't really portray the characters depth. Don't get me wrong there's a LOT of hilarious little holt moments from "Hot damn!" to "Bam had it both ways" but it just didn't do the character justice. Holt was a character funny for his stoicism, his outburst of emotion clashing with that, and his chemistry with just about everyone on cast.

So I found a comprimise, something small I could do before my two bigger reviews this week, but something that still pays full service to what a great character Raymond Holt was... and how much of it was Braugher's amazing comedic timing and great dramatic talent. Ray MIGHT of existed without Captain Holt, but he wouldn't of been such a JOY to watch every time if it weren't for Braugher.

So I picked my 12 faviorite plots starring Captain Holt. Husband, Captain, Robot. Meeep Morp.

12. VINDICATTTTITOOOOOONNNN (Episode: Monster in the Closet)

Look a lot of this subplot making it here is this moment, from the fist pump to just how Braugher plays the word like an instrument, but the plot itself is comedy gold: Rosa Diaz, bisexual icon, is having a rush wedding to absentee boyfriend and human disaster Adrian Pimento, who returned after months in hiding the way anyone having a normal one does: by hiding in a child's closet.

Naturally this wedding didn't end up happening.. but it did bring us one of Holt's best running gags: his love of balloon arches. It's something that makes perfect character sense: he's a perfectionist, he loves art, and it's just weird enough to still be funny while not so weird you can't understand why Holt would be doing this. Holt pettily popping the ballons when crticized and going into a creative tailspin over minor critcisims is just gold and the payoff, him getting his VINDIIIICAAAATTTIOOOONNNNNN is both sweet.. and purespun gold from the highest of heavens.

11. The Disco Strangler Returns (He Said She Said) One of the serious episodes of the series, dealing with Amy and Jake tackling a sexual harassment case and Amy revealing her own assault, was paired with one of the series silliest, funnest b-plots.

This one COULD be here just on the strength of "And you'll here it again" but has way more to offer as Holt chases down his former nemesis the Disco Strangler after he seemingly dies, convinced he's alive while Terry and Boyle are convinced he just can't accept his enemey's death. Turns out their wrong though as the Strangler is alive, worked his groovy voodoo on a way younger woman and has one of the funniest scenes in the show as Holt TRIES to have a big action hero final talk with his nemisis.. only for the man to be largely deaf. It's a gag that shoudln't work but Baugher's commitment to the bit carries it, as does the reality of the strangler being so old and feeble hitting Raymond about his own mortality.

10. The Heists (Various Episodes)

Yeah this one's a bit of a cheat as it was hard to pick just one Heist Plot: After the first two their largely ensemble pieces. But it'd also be criminal to ignore just how SERIOUS Holt takes the annual halloween heists, from training his dog for them, to calling a fake replacement for Cheddar (the goodest of boys) "This bitch?", the Heists brought out the pettiest, hammiest parts of holt and the best of Braugher's comedey from threatning to slit his two protege's "from head to anus and wear them as a jacket", to his flight of the valkyries entrance, Holt was always a delight.

9. Pie (Two Turkey's) The shows final thanksgiving gave us it's best thanksgiving plot, and a nice spotlight on Holt's relationship with his Husband , kevin. Holt's queerness was baked into the character, being why it took him so long to climb the latter and why Kevin takes ab it to warm up to his new coworkers, as most of Ray's past coworkers were racist, homophobic or both. Holt and Kevin were just as weirdly stoic, with Mark Evan Jackson having great chemistry with Braugher.

The couple also just had their own weird things such as getting a special pie every year to get a pie for thanksgiving and finding the hours spent in dead silence on the trip deeply romantic.

Said pie is also what sets off the plot as it goes missing and Holt blames the presicnt and goes into full petty holt mode, one of the best kinds of holt. HOlt isn't the only star here as near constant fuckups and wallpaper Hitchcock and Scully prove useful for once as Holt investigates Rosa, Terry and Boyle. We get great moments from the three too as Boyle calls his own son "a basic bitch" and Rosa reveals an embarassing minons t-shirt as she rebonds with her family post jailtime.

Holt interogating everyone and going full ham would be enough to land it here.. but what elevates it to this slot is the ending: Holt finds out the culprit was Kevin, who hates the pie but would miss the drive. HOlt suggests simply.. taking the drive for fun and Kevin is super horny for that. It's adorable, sweet and a great capper to one of the shows best subplots.

8. Let's Never Talk About Anything (Stakeout)

This is a quick one as it's mostly on the comedy but it's a scenario that's both deeply, deeply funny, and involves one of the shows best duos: Rosa, the stoic bicon herself, and Holt. Both being stoic queer persons, they naturally get along great. And of course it's natural Rosa ends up the one in a very awkward situation through almost no fault of her own: Holt brings his cardboard standee of a human being Nephew named Marcus, whose staying with him for some reason never elaborated upon because Marcus is here for one thing: to date rosa and have one of the best awkward morning afters EVER: He tries to sneak rosa out.. only for Holt and Kevin to naturally both be up, and his using her full name and mild confusion are just.. great. The wrap up, that Rosa and Holt are both FINE not talking about this or anything ever, is great. The followup plot with the two forced into a dinner is fine, but this first interaction and the two being on the same stoic page is gold.

7. Apparently That's a Trigger For Me (The Box)

This is another one that has a strong moment couched in, but really the Box is just a very strong episode, a tense 22 minutes as Jake and Holt team up to try and get a confession out of a local dentist played by sexiest man alive Sterling K Brown, who does great getting under their skin, including with said doctor bit as Docterates are a bit of a trigger for Holt. the episodes fantastic chess match between our faviorite duo and Brown is just fun to watch and it's only this low because Jake gets the big finale. But Holt's oh damns are still vital. As is his over the top reservation cancelation. God bless this man. I miss you andre.

6. They never actually said No (Full Boyle)

Like, really, ALL of these there's a classic gag couched in here as Holt explains how he formed his black gay and lesbian police orginzation: he pitched it to his fellow entirely white and certainly straight cops who laughed their asses off.. then went ahead and got the funds since they were too busy being jackassses to say no. Dark, hilarious, and perfectly showing just how much shit holt's been through trying to get here.

And that background helps shape this plot which while not laugh FREE is mostly anchored on the good Captain's character journey: when a younger officer plans to challenge holt for predsency, Holt, as you'd expect digs in and refuses. He's not at full ham yet, but he's still fully willing to fight tooth and nail for this, that after all he had to go just to make this group, brian wouldn't understand

It's Gina of all characters who points out that's why he made the group. So younger officers wouldn't have to go through that. Brian has new ideas to genuinely improve and open up the doors for more queer black officers, and Holt recognizes that and steps aside.. though if he screws up he will impeach him. He's happy for him but he will impeach him.

5. I've Glanced At His Work Satchel (The Honeypot)

This episode's a-plot is just one long hilaroius bit of holt deadpanning as he gets a new assitant to replace Gina.. only to find the guy flirting with him. Having his tie slightly ajar and inviting him to a barrel museum counts as flirting in Holt's book. Turns out Gordon is a spy for our heroes latest nemisiss, corrupt comissioner kelly, and this brings this plot to ahead as finding out, and getting evidence hw as actively spying on them finally gets rid of the old bastard. It's a nice payoff.. but it's really here because Holt declaring a barrel museum an erotically charged atmosphere is classic deadpan holt. If you want premium deadpan holt, this is your episode.

4. Terry Come Here and Dangle Me Off the Edge of this Building (Bad Beat)

This episode is one of my faviorites, having both a lot of rich character stuff for holt.. and a lot of funny deadpan for holt.

This ep reawakens something that's mostly come up previously as a joke: holt had a serious gambling addiction in his past and when Jake and Terry come to him for help with a poker case, Holt's forced to join in as the two have obvious tells.

Holt's relapse is a nice mix of hilaroius and deeply troubling: he's betting on childrenj's gymnastics (No jayla don't drop the baton!) runs up to the roof when the pagent's cut off and as seen above wants Terry to dangle him over a roof.. Braugher does a hell of a job threading a very narrow needle here: Hotl's antics are funny, but still jarring enough to be worrying.. .and the laughter stop when Jake pulls the one card he has... he'll tell kevin, an idea alone that DEVISTATES holt as he can't put kevin through that again.

Unfortunately it's not THAT easy as Holt goes rogue.. then nearly gets captured, having to use improper grammar and admitting he needs help. Ther'es no easy answers here and while granted Holt's addiction never comes up again.. it's a sign addiction dosen't go away easily and everyone needs help.

3. The System (Moo Moo) Props to Brooklyn 99 as depsite being a cop show, it pointed out many a problem in the NYPD and police in general long before George Floyd made it too loud to ignore for us white dumbasses.

This episode is the main showcase of that: while the show had plenty of corrupt cops for our heroes to foil, Moo Moo shows the system ITSELF is broken and ther'es no easy answer to fix it.

The setup is simple, heartbreakingly common, and painful: Terry goes out at night in his nice neighborhood looking for one of his daughters "moo moo", her faviorite toy.. only to get accosted by a police officer, with only the fact he IS an officer making this end well.

Terry does try to handle this peacefully, inviting the guy to lunch, and trying to explain why racial profiling him like that was fucking awful. The officer dosen't listen, only thinks he was wrong because Terry is also a cop, and is generally a dick.

This leaves terry, who has a promotion on the table, with a fairly simple path: report the son of a bitch. Except .. HOlt dosne't send it in. Holt wants Terry to stay quiet, so Terry can get promoted. it's one of the oldest fights in a broken system: Should you make noise and take care of something horrible immdeitly, or stay quite and let harm go on so you can do more good later. The latter is clearly Holt's go to not out of corruption but out of survival: as a black gay cop, he had no real allies for the longest time, and thus had to simply keep his nose to the ground and work his way up to where he had real power. Terry on the other hand, argues, rightly that he dosen't want another man like him to go through this, one without a badger and that his career... simply isn't worth more innocnet black men being arrested falsely. There isn't an easy resolution with both acknowlding each others point: Holt supports terry and gets the guy fired, but Terry is passed over impliclty as a result and admits he could've impacted more change. Terry still did the right thing.. but it wasn't the easy thing. Police.. .simply aren't set up to properly police themselves and change is needed and it was noble of b99 to point that out without going over the top with it.

2. BOONNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEE (The Skyfire Cycle)

Okay look while this plot is good on it's own (I"m teaching father the math!) it's up this high ENTIRELY due to the Bone Scene. You've seen it, i've seeen it, it's the reason this plot goes from "pretty good" with Rosa seeing through holt's math problem to his marital issues and need to get laid, and Amy trying hard to impress her dads and acting lik ea grossed out child anytime holt's sex life comes up. This bit belongs to braugher.. but you NEED Beatriz and Fumero to set it up so perfectly and react so great to it.

Rosa being rosa just comes out and says "You just need to bone" and holt LOOOSES IT.

Every line from that moment is pure poetry from Braugher's mouth, from his squeaky "what'dyousay" to his shakesperean "hooooowww dare you detective diaz I AM YOUR SUPERIOR OFFICER." and of course his glorious shouts of BONE and BONNNNENEEEEE while he VIBRATES ON HIS DOORFRAME. His quick yups in the resolution are the cheery on top of the greatest comedy sundae ever conducted by man. Sports. This subplot hinges on one joke.. but when it's the series best joke, it's REALLY hard to argue. It's only not #1.. because our #1 is CRAMMED with jokes near this level.

Ding Dong The Wuntch Is Dead (Ding Dong)

Ding Dong is one of my faviorite episodes of B99. Even it's subplot's grown on me with Terry bending a quarter in mid air and the strawberry basket. But let's face it while the subplot is.. kay, it's the main event that makes it a classic and when I do the inevetible top 12 list, possibly for feburary, this episode is almost guarnateed a spot for damn good reason.

If your wondering why I haven't brought up Holt's legendary rivarly with Madeline Wuntch it's because while their all fucking gold, their teid into larger plots. And while this one kinda is, with Wuntch's death wrapping up Holt's time as a patrol officer, it's really just there to sned the character off and give us one of the funniest episodes in human history.

Everything about Holt's petty rivarly with Wuntch that makes it one of the best thigns in the show is on display here and the shock I had to the opening of ding dong was palpable: Holt's making his usual jabs, calling her a korean tolilet ghost (and having gone to korea just to find new monsters to call her).. before Terry, trying and failing to head this off drops the bomb: Wuntch is dead. Naturally Holt dosen't buy it, assuming we'd hear the children singing (all the childrne everywhere), and having to see her body for himself. Given their rivarly and what an elaborate scheme Wuntch left FOR her funeral, it's not hard to see why.

What follows is the very best of petty holt from the glory that is BAGEL, BAGEL, to his assumption ET is a monster because "he caused quite a comotion), Baugher is at his PEAK this episode comedically, handeling his Rival's death with joy and too many lines to count, with Amy's horror and Rosa's unabashed joy at his pettiness being perfect bounce off points.

Add in comedy legend Micheal Mcdonald as Wuntch's nephew playing her rival, a fake funeral and an attempted funmeral full of balloon arches and bright pastels and you have one of the greatest peices of televesion comedy ever. Rest in peace Andre.... your dearly missed.

[daegutowns]

svt as brooklyn 99 characters

tags: b99 au, i am obsessed, i’ve been rewatching this series for the 600th time now, only 80% accurate, i stretched it a little bit

thank you to alice (koogyv on twt) for the amazing thread that i highly interacted with as inspiration. there are many similarities. i expanded upon it more.

this is my take: 

det. jake peralta 

hoshi 

“i wasn’t hurt that badly. the doctor said all my bleeding was internal. that’s where the blood’s supposed to be!” 

arguably, this is the best pairing made. he’s silly, hard-working, creative, and most of all -- he’s gunsta think about the turtles. even as a jokes-first seriousness-second type of person, jake is a thoughtful and caring person who would put himself down to save others. he’s sharp, perceptive, and great at deduction, but often discredits himself with his great delusion, playfulness, and childish nature. he’s a trendsetter and loves to joke around, and when he has a great thought, he’s going to put it into action. (“yeah, that’s right. i’m about to monologue, son.”) his favorite movie is die hard (hoshi as a shawol), is canonically broke (hoshi’s constant money loss due to him spoiling everything), and tries to annoy suspects into confessing their crimes. 

men can have duality. they can be serious and also put orange soda in their cereal. hoshi, as a Super Gemini™ knows all about it. he’s playful but knows when to be serious and takes his line of work very seriously. sure, he has some growing up to do and can immerse himself in a different role (horanghae <3) very easily, but he plays to his strengths and that of others with his determination and persistence. 

capt. raymond holt 

seungcheol  

“wait a minute. this isn’t the championship cummerbund. this is some common cummerbund. and, you’re not cheddar. you’re just some common bitch!” 

“this bitch? please. watch.” (to the dog, ‘some common bitch’) “shake… shake! psshh. idiot.” 

this is probably the most obvious and predictable choice after jake=hoshi. a born leader, full of wisdom, and no-nonsense… well, some nonsense is okay. captain holt is ambitious and looks after his squad with both care for their goals and their personalities. even though he may seem a little unapproachable or stoic, he’s actually a really funny and goofy guy. he laughs when he eats marshmallows (“a marshed mallow? don’t mind if i do.”) he’s very adamant about his passions (like john phillip sousa being the skrillrex of his day) and his a very consistent guy (ref. rock painting no. 367). he is sassy to the max and will tell you things exactly as he finds them. and he does NOT mess around when it comes to his dog. 

cheol, most of all, is the ultimate dog dad -- just like holt. cheddar is to holt like kkuma is to cheol. he spoils his dog, and he is proud of it. he’s someone who caters to the learning style that each person needs: stricter but with jokes for jake (hoshi), encouraging for rosa (woozi), detailed with a binder and written formalities for amy (seungkwan), and with actions (ref. the croque monsieur) for charles (dk). he’s attentive, thoughful, and silly at heart. 

det. amy santiago 

seungkwan  

“gross, rosa! those are our dads! i mean, that’s not what i think. captain dad is just my boss. never mind, i’m teaching father the math. whatever, rosa!” 

super badass, but also a teacher’s pet, know it all, and scrapbooking expert. may come off as super uptight or a buzzkill, but genuinely cares about the other detectives on the squad. when you have hella big aspirations, it’s not that unreasonable to see why competitiveness, sharpness, and intellect are his best traits. under all of the work-oriented personality, there’s someone who is ambitious, thoughtful, clever, and protective of the people he loves. it’s hard to not be so uptight and to let loose (as opposed to some totally scheduled fun!), and don’t make fun of him if he sucks and is horrible at it. (title of his sex tape.) 

seungkwan was my top choice, mainly because of his competitiveness with hoshi (jake) as svt’s most famous frenemy pair. there’s a lot of responsibility and workload that seungkwan carries and continues to put on his shoulders, which his members love and appreciate (just how the squad appreciates and acknowledges amy’s dedication to being a detective). things can get wild and crazy sometimes, which is why seungkwan just needs to recharge sometimes. 

det. charles boyle 

dokyeom 

“i got this low tag performance polo with moisture wicking technology. kept me dry all morning. and a dry boy is a smart boy.” 

if you’re looking for a supportive best friend who will always cheer you on, this is him. he’s a major foodie, he loves jake (hoshi), and his arch nemesis is sergeant peanut butter, who is a horse. he’s possessive and jealous almost as much as he is a superb friend, which is obvious by the way he instantly is suspicious of every other best friend jake (hoshi) can make in his life. (“don’t make any new best friends! haha… maybe you shouldn’t go…”) he gets jealous of many, like old beat cop partner stevie schillens, brian (?) from camp, and even cannibal jail cellmate caleb. also definitely dresses up as people from halloween that no one but him can understand. he is just someone that is the embodiment of living life according to his passions. very caring, thoughtful, and funny. 

dk was a good choice for boyle for me since he is super clingy and also is a supportive friend. even if he knows it’s silly or mischievous, he will play along. dk is relatively less prone to disgusting and gross sexual innuendos than charles, but is still super excited to share his jokes and hobbies. has a lot of holiday cheer and his down to be friends even after being turned down. 

det. rosa diaz 

woozi 

“plans are plans. i’m a badass, not an anarchist.” 

mysterious, a little scary, but reasonable and thoughtful. rosa is a character that’s easy to stereotype, though also arguably one of the more complex characters in this show. hard working is an understatement, and even though he may not be the most outwardly affectionate at first glance, rosa is super thoughtful. work comes first, but through the many trials and tribulations that life throws, business remains separate from personal… except the friendships. rosa went through the academy with jake (hoshi), so they’re really close. as much as jake jokes around and everything, they still trust each other and work with each other really well. (“diaz has been chuckin’ d-holes into my mouth since the academy.”) on top of that, is a bicon (bi icon). 

woozi was my go-to choice on this one. his demeaner seems a little intimidating (especially because of all his muscles now too!), but he means good. he gives off mysterious vibes, but he’s just figuring it out. now he is truly no-nonsense, and he makes sure others know this. he’s still down for the different personas and everything, but he lives his life by a strict set of rules. his neighbors think he’s emily goldfinch (woozi)… his coworkers think his name is rosa diaz (wooahae)… wait. what? 

sgt. terry jeffords 

mingyu  

“terry loves yogurt.” 

literally just a big softie that looks scary/big/muscular but is actually so babygirl. he’s so caring and loves the squad to death, always making sure that they have all the resources they need to survive. even when other captains come and go, terry is always there. terry loves yogurt, terry loves love, and terry loves foreign films.  kind of has a rivalry with boyle (dk) for strange reasons instigated by boyle himself, but is supportive nonetheless. (“hey, people like the way i look.” “sure they do, big guy.) he’s actually very well-educated (studied abroad in japan), is a great dad, and is always down to help others work out the right way.

this was such an obvious choice for me (with the only other option being cheol). mingyu is an inherently kindhearted person like terry, but also knows how to draw boundaries. he is someone who is worried about the safety of the people around him because he’s a family man, but also someone who loves to get down as vacation terry. also talks in the third person, but it’s okay since he’s hot. 

gina linetti 

myungho  

“aren’t you forgetting something?” [...] “no! pay your bill! damn, who raised you?” 

the human form of the 100 emoji. would be the perfect human president, based upon his skillset, dance ability, and bloodlust. he is the paris of people. has been jake (hoshi)’s childhood friend and went through high school with him. cares enough to steer jake (hoshi) on the right track (ref. brandon bliss) but to also enable him in their own goofy shenanigans (the DDC + the lacroix siblings). super smart and well-versed in the people around him because only gina would suggest savant (vernon), the hacker, to become their new IT guy. iconic entrepreneur. 

i know that hao is super humble, and gina says that being humble is her best trait. despite this, there is no one else who would love to not be involved with all this police nonsense (bc gina “does not listen to a lot of things you all [the detectives] say”) but also be relevant. she’s actually very street-smart, great at comebacks, and the ceo of her own company that she literally just made up. 

dr. kevin cozner 

wonwoo  

“that’s the oompiest oomph you’ll get.” 

prim, proper, and unhinged. he loves raymond (cheol) but most of all, allows love to prevail. works as a classics professor at a university, spends a sabbatical in france to enrich his teaching experience, and loves a good croque monsieur. would absolutely go off on jake (hoshi) if he gatekept a nicolas cage movie that's a period piece set in greece based on some dumb book. despite his no-nonsense attitude sometimes, he is still down to dress like a pervert to go to the library with jake (hoshi). also, super badass because he runs over seamus murphy with a car. 

i was kind of going for wonwoo’s quieter but more serious and studious vibes. i think super knowledgeable, especially about gaming and editing, while kevin is knowledgeable about classics like boetheus and the odyssey. both are super smart, sassy, and protective people. 

doug judy 

jeonghan 

“i sold a guy a fake pekinese. twas a cat.” 

he’s in and he’s out! he is there for the vibes and the elaborate schemes. he will outsmart everyone in the NYPD and get away with it. (many, many times.) one of jake (hoshi)’s best criminal friends but would still betray him every time. he would definitely lie and tell his family that he owns an architecture firm instead of being the pontiac bandit, and jake (hoshi) is his assistant mangy carl, whom he saved from a life of living on the streets selling his body. goofy and silly, but don’t underestimate him. you’ll always be one step behind him. 

i think jeonghan is definitely slick and goofy enough to be doug judy. above all else, jeonghan’s mind works harder than anyone else in mafia. just like how he immerses himself in different roles (and often makes them up) in don’t lie and bad clue, doug judy has transformed into many different roles in his life (cruise ship singer, architect, etc.) 

capt. jason stentley (CJ) 

jun 

“okay muchachos, let’s roll up on these muchachos!” 

great start, and love the double use of muchachos, jun. became a captain due to his extreme luck. he is just always in the right place at the right time. showed up to his first day in grey sweatpants because he “totally biffed it” and spilled hot cocoa on himself. introduced himself as ‘captain stentley’ but didn’t like how formal that sounded. ‘captain jason’ wasn’t it either, so CJ was the move. numbers are so crazy, and overall so, very supportive. he just wants to help. 

i was just thinking of someone a little silly and laidback. will be strict if you ask him to, but he’s honestly more there for the vibes. he can be a little clumsy, but i was mainly just going for the slightly airheadedness vibes and the lovable nature. 

det. adrian pimento

joshua 

“whoo… haha… hey chuck! it’s pimento.” 

just a little bit insane. it’s a side effect of being undercover for 12 years for jimmy “the butcher” figgis, but i digress. he sometimes still calls himself paul sneed due to being extremely traumatized. overall just a funny and great character. used to be boyle (dk)’s roommate and just found himself in his son’s closet at some point in time… got mistaken as a closet monster… just normal human things. (but he was also screaming with dk and his son.) has a very riveting, intense, and sexy relationship with rosa (woozi). 

this one was a little more of a stretch, but only because pimento is actually insane. all the years of ptsd has made him into a very strange person. josh is a little strange, and maybe he could be pimento if pimento was watered down into a lacroix. (like, the flavor is barely there.) there’s a distinct slight insanity that josh has (ref. gose episode the8 and the 12 shadows) that is hard to replicate. 

fire marshal boone  

dino  

“your only move is passing the ball to jeffords and running across the field.” “i’d like to see you try!” 

so done with the entire police department. will always be down for a rivalry or argument but genuinely a softie. just generally suspicious of jake (hoshi) and charles (dk) due to their antics and strong adherence to the rivalry. demands an apology because this is the fire department’s jurisdiction! all of that comes crumbling down though, when jake (hoshi) reveals his sad past with sal’s pizza…. but he still competes with jake (hoshi) on arresting the criminal in the end. some things never change.

i was honestly looking for someone who would love nothing more than to call out hoshi and dk on their BS and tomfoolery without enabling it and thought of dino. boone is a pretty lovable character for someone who is supposed to be a villain of some sorts, and it fits in pretty well with dino. plus, he’s the head of the fire department, kind of like how dino had to choose being the maknae of svt versus being the leader of a younger group. (kind of.) 

! vernon

okay i was genuinely very torn about who should be vernon, because i genuinely had a lot of different options. 

corey park (savant) 

hacked into a police precinct’s computer system just because he could. (he only exposed everyone’s search history.)  “it was like taking candy from a baby.” he was turned in by his mom, but fortunately now has a job -- courtesy of gina (hao). very intelligent and laid back

i saw vernon here because he definitely has a mischievous side. while his pranks and jokes are on the mild side, he’s definitely still a troublemaker. he’s down to work for the greater good. 

cheddar the dog  

“this isn’t cheddar, this is just some common bitch.” a very special someone. definitely is seungcheol and wonwoo’s child. loves wedding cake and is very well-behaved. extremely intelligent and loves participating in halloween heists. does not like being jake (hoshi)’s dog bra :// 

this was based on alice’s thread and was so funny. if cheddar were a human, vernon would be cheddar. the sass and intellect can only be matched by Thee hansol vernon chwe. 

other fun character pairings that i thought of: 

kkuma as cheddar the dog: two words -- so spoiled. also would be cheol (captain holt)’s baby. i digress. 

jun & dino as young hitchcock and scully: just two people motivated by helping the city. kind-hearted and brave people, who may or may not have gotten addicted to wing sluts while checking in on a witness that their captain screwed over by not putting in the witness protection program. outstanding people who became a lot more interesting, to say the least…. 

josh as madeline wuntsch: strangely tense relations with holt (cheol) due to their rivalry, but overall an outstanding cop. ½ of svt’s evil twins so you know he’s down for some evilness. oh raymond, i notice you haven’t done your time as a beat cop…. (if josh is here, who’s guarding hades???) may be a cheuksin, a korean toilet ghost who--

jun as mlepclaynos (the clay is silent): opens the door, is questioned by detectives, takes the picture of the suspect. he’s from neokrakagovia and celebrates dogs losing their virginity. jun definitely would! less because he’s weird and more so because he’s so kind and willing to go with the flow that it just happens. later says he’s not mlepnos. did you sell him horse blood? would you like to buy horse blood? he plays the violin beautifully. “guitar.” (ref. some day morning)

[peerlessscowl]

wrath: n. forceful, vindictive anger.

warrior mastery drabble; word count - 1024 words

"Laus. Like louse?"

"Raymond!" His mother's tone was sharp, but it was undercut by the smirking and delicate snorts that his father's bannermen attempted to hide behind their hands - they weren't fooling anyone, least of all his mother, whose gaze shrank them back to quiet attention. "They are neighbors - and, for the moment, friends, and you will treat them with the respect that friends deserve."

"Yes mother." It hadn't been his intention to be insulting - not deeply, anyway, for he knew better than most what 'for the moment' entailed when from his mother's lips, and it would have been impossible to escape the way the men-at-arms about the castle spoke of this territory or that.

Laus had a reputation that did not come from the unfortunate homophone, and did little to polish it in spite. Although some spoke Lord Darin's name in hushed tones - part spite, but part fear as well - most spoke of young Erik through a veneer of polite disdain. An unfortunate trod in the wrong spot of the stables, with the gentle wrinkle of the nose to match.

He set eyes on the boy years later, hovering about others his age at summit. He was not impressed.

They certainly took the castle like lice - a few at first, and then all at once, as though they'd multiplied through sheer force of will. He hadn't even the chance to notice that the standard was not of Caelin, that the shape and make of the armor was of a different style, a different generation; cursed himself, briefly, for not being keener-eyed when Lucius had entered the room slowly, stilted and clumsy and led as a human shield, looking ashamed of himself.

"I'm sorry, Lord R- " until Raven had clicked his tongue and shaken his head sharply for silence, his eyes never leaving the flashes of the face that he could see beneath the helm, behind the man's cowardice and Lucius's robes, as they were all led into a singular cell to be held while the lice ate away at the castle's innards.

"Hey, you. Let me out of here." Not a request, once his palms pressed against Lucius's shoulders, found the other man safe and whole and back where he could be protected - if not by himself, then by the friends he had made in their short time in Castle Caelin.

Lucius would always find friends, but he…found himself less gifted.

“Very well. You! Get out! Remember, if you betray us, your companion dies.”

“I see. Just remember, if that happens, you die next.”

The flinch was familiar - he'd said something intense, hadn't he? Raymond's brow furrowed, and he adjusted his grip on the axe, too heavy by half, but he was cognizant enough with his footwork, paying special care to every ounce of his weight that rested on the balls of his feet as he moved around the space that it felt more a natural sway than strained breathing.

"You don't…" His father's master-at-arms sighed, propping a hand on his hip, assessing Raymond's form with a small, weary fondness. "You don't have to announce your intention every time."

"Don't I?" A rare tease. "It's been some time since you've been able to catch me. Isn't it proper sport to adjust as necessary?"

"Oh, he's big words because he's begun to fill out, is he? Very well, then, boy. Let's see you hit me with - no, no, not that one. The way you're gripping it, the head will fly off and smack Grist right in the face, won't it? Try a man's axe."

"If you think it will make the difference."

The alliance did not last as long, nor as well, as perhaps Laus might have hoped - Lady Caelin was determined to seize her castle back, and it seemed that she was the more accomplished at the task, sending the vermin scattering at the clatter of her friend's armor along the halls. To Laus's credit, they didn't run, but a bug that died where he stood was a bug nonetheless.

Raven's mind scattered, buzzing and furtive, and as they passed him in the halls he found himself slinking along the shadows, sliding just out of sight, eyes seeking anything familiar that he might latch onto - was it the blue of Ostia that he wanted? To see Lady Caelin's green? Or…

Lucius had gotten away. He must have, else he would have stayed where he was and waited to be collected. Perhaps Lady Caelin would find him, treat him…

Better than Raven could offer.

The realization hit him simultaneous to another, then another: Laus would run, and Pherae would follow. Where Pherae went, Ostia would go, and…

Goose-chase. He wouldn't follow them, when one sat still and fixed within reach.

The curve of a cheek beneath a helm caught his eye, fleeting and frightened in the candlelight of the halls, and Raven cocked his head, eyes narrowed. He knew that face, what little he had seen of it, what little had shuddered from behind his helm, behind Lucius, behind the door.

Not all so brave as to die, were they?

His fingers trailed to the sword at his hip, flecked with blood already from the bouts and bursts with none of importance, and when the soldier saw him he stiffened, flinched again.

"I let you out, and you said you'd fight for us, didn't you? Earn your keep, boy - my master will pay you handsomely, but we need to get out of here alive first."

"Don't even know that your master's gone? What manner of dog is this?"

A hand reached out, thoughtfully, wrapping around the haft of a discarded axe - chipped blade, poor balance, and its owner must have fallen along with the rest of their coterie. He had sold his blade for long enough, and knew what a losing side looked like.

"Wh-what are you doing? I let you out! I kept your friend alive - yes, indeed, he should still be there! If you don't - !"

"No." His grip tightened. "Not a dog."

Laus. Like louse.

[dbarn]

Lithograph reportedly available at D23:

Separate pictures attached below in case the link doesn't work.

There's a lot going on here.

Some familiar characters -- Check out Clawhauser's off-duty look! Yax and Flash (naturally) bringing up the rear! The Hopps family is represented! -- as well as new ones, including a very prominent role to a big, blue snake. (A possible antagonist? Hard to tell with reptiles. Looks like he's smiling, though.)

Is that Finnick in the stroller, wearing a bunny onesie? And holding... uh... we'll just assume that's a carrot-shaped pacifier for now.

Oh! And don't forget the food cart near the top -- what looks like a reference to Bug-Burga, often seen in fanfic but not mentioned in the first movie.

Some closeups follow.

Chief Bogo and what could be a member of the TUSK team (or maybe just a boar in tactical gear).

Looks like there's a chameleon in a Men in Black-style outfit hitching a ride on Bogo's arm. EDIT: wait, I just got it! Chameleons are providing security for the Zootennial parade because they'd be great at covert operations!

There's also a seal, a beaver, a bear on a unicycle... okay, maybe that'll make sense in time.

What looks like:

One of Mr. Big's polar bear bodyguards (Koslov? Kevin? Raymond?)

A lot of wildebeests(?) forming a parade for the "Zootennial"

Gazelle being held aloft by her tiger dancers

The walrus plumber from the diorama

A cat on a motorcycle... huh. Too early to draw conclusions yet, but I'm kind of hoping that's a regular domestic cat, which hasn't been seen in any canonical stuff so far that I'm aware of.

And, of course, Nick and Judy in their new outfits, driving... a hog rod. (I wonder if Nick even has a driver's license -- Judy was driving the cruiser at the end of Zootopia too.)

[siiinfully]

starter for @velvetrogue's don raymond p. from seraphina

The night before had been a horrible doozy. At least, it would have been completely so if it wasn't for The Stranger.

Her so-called friends had up and left her in the nightclub, and her sudden abandonment seemed to have been the 'go' signal for a couple of creeps to start trying to get her to go to the back with them. Her protests had fallen on deaf ears, and they were close to dragging her away when he arrived.

He was big, beefy, and handsome, and clearly 'too old' for her. And he dealt with the problem as fast as it had formed, and her main regret was that she hadn't asked for his name.

Even the park's natural beauty in the daylight couldn't banish that lingering regret, and it was her thoughts that led to her pug, Jack, squirming out of her hold and running down the path.

"Jack! Jack, come back here!" she cried, rushing after him. Just when she thought that she could never catch up to him, she saw him sitting in front of a man, tail wagging and his goofy grin in place. "Jack, you naughty boy, how many times did I tell you to...oh. It's...you!" Recognition crossed her face when she saw who Jack was sitting in front of. "I...you...what are you still doing here?"

Not that she was complaining; it was just that she hadn't expected him to be there.

[bananacorn-limeade]

1961's The WORLD of ICE and FIRE

I'm going to do it. I'm going to self-indulge!

The Roger Corman ASOIAF production post is mostly just a novelty, but since I'm me, I have a lot of FEELINGS and OPINIONS about this cast. Naturally.

Anyway. Here's how well I think the actors in my post would play their roles, from worst to best.

#19, Worst: John Ashley as Robb Stark

You know how Ben Affleck has a face that knows about emails? John Ashley has a face that knows about sock hops. Woefully miscast.

#18: Tor Johnson as Gregor Clegane

God love the big guy, but I've only ever seen him make this face. Also, despite his repertoire of roles suggesting otherwise on paper, he just doesn't seem like a mean guy.

#17: John Agar as Jaime Lannister

Another terrible choice. The only reason he's not ranked as worst is because his soulless performance would make viewers interpret Jaime as an absolutely irredeemable sociopath, which at least would be... uh, interesting, I guess.

#16 Robert Reed as Renly Baratheon

Renly, but only if he was the most boring Baratheon. Go ahead, try to picture Reed eating a peach. You can't.

#15 Dawn Bender as Arya Stark

Aw, she'd try. But I feel like her attempts at Arya's fire would mostly come off as petulance.

#14 Richard Carlson as Ned Stark

Sorry, what? I fell asleep for a minute there.

#13 June Kenney as Daenerys Targaryen

Kenney would try her level best, but you know Corman would do a terrible job incorporating her storyline with the main plot, so she wouldn't have much to do except lounge around on mildly offensive orientalist sets and talk to her force-perspective dragon puppets. (Stop-motion you say? What, you think American International is made of money?)

#12 Dolores Faith as Sansa Stark

Again, no knock to Faith, but as with Daenerys, I think a 1961 production would flatten Sansa's character away to nothing. She'd get to pine and wear some nice dresses.

#11 Anthony Dexter as Petyr Baelish

This guy can play oily like nobody's business (check him out in 1962's Married Too Young), but 5D-chess-level deviousness might be beyond him.

#10 Michael Dunn as Tyrion Lannister

Full disclosure: I'm plopping him in the middle because I've never seen him in anything! The only little person I've personally seen in Corman's movies is Billy Barty (playing an actual, literal imp), and Dunn was someone I found who was said to play much meatier roles. In general, I think the depth of Tyrion's character would seriously challenge 1960s casting directors who were used to casting little people in jokey roles or as something less than human. One of many problems they'd have with the source material, no doubt.

#9 Lon Cheney Jr. as Sandor Clegane

Here's another actor who would do the best with what he was given - which would be an essentially empty role. This Sandor would be a beast used only for jump scares, with too much rubber over his face to ever show an emotion.

#8 Glen Langan as Stannis Baratheon

Langan would be serious, but dull, with lots of droning sermonizing. In other words, perfect. Still boring though.

#7 Basil Rathbone as Tywin Lannister

Who better to play a role totally owned by Charles Dance than an actor who's even Charles Dancier? The only reason I'm not ranking this legend higher is because I do think he'd kind of sleepwalk through this role, especially at this stage in his career.

#6 Raymond Burr as Robert Baratheon

The future Mr. Perry Mason was damn good at playing hard-drinking, prowly, "beastly" men. See him in this fabulous trailer for 1951's Bride of the Gorilla (spoiler: Burr is the gorilla). Of course, for this production, he'd be about 10 years on from that virile role, but that's perfectly on brand for Bobby B.

#5 Michael Landon as Jon Snow

Landon's tortured James Dean era would be a great fit for angsty goth teen Jon, though he might have trouble keeping his feelings as hidden as Jon does.

#4 Allison Hayes as Melisandre

Should she be ranked this high? Eh, maybe not, but this woman is a goddamn B-movie bombshell goddess. Her Red Woman would be a little less mysterious, sure, but her perfectly arched eyebrows and bullet bra would do R'hllor proud all the same.

#3 Marie Windsor as Catelyn Stark

They didn't call her Queen of the B's for nothing. Windsor always did great with roles that call for strength and verve. She'd be a fantastic Cat, and - dare I dream it - an even better Lady Stoneheart.

#2 Jack Nicholson as Theon Greyjoy

Now this would be fun. If baby Jack Nicholson had half the presence and charisma he would show in later movies, his Theon would be legendary.

#1 Coleen Gray as Cersei Lannister

If I can get Tumblr to understand one thing, it's how much Coleen Gray would absolutely eat in the role of Cersei. She's beautiful. She's a schemer. She's a helpless victim. She's back for revenge. I challenge anyone to watch her insane, murderous, fierce, gorgeous, duplicitous performance in 1960's otherwise pretty terrible The Leech Woman and not come to the same conclusion. I'm serious. There would be no survivors. 👑