#ransom gill

[theknitpotato]

The Ransom Gill house in Brush Park, Detroit. After being abandoned for many years, it was restored by Nicole Curtis of Rehab Addict. It was built in 1876 for just $12,000. 5000 Sq feet.

[hullomoon]

hullomoon’s works 2022: part six

it’s the end of the year, which means it’s time for a work round-up! this year i really tipped into being podfic heavy (and more multifandom!). if you haven’t yet, check out my 2019 roundup, 2020 roundup, and 2021 roundup! all works are ordered in chronological posting order.

part one | part two | part three | part four | part five | part six | part seven | part eight

[podfic] we stood steady as the stars | Schitt’s Creek | David/Patrick | mature | 01:52:11

“You won’t even think about it?”

“I just don’t want you to inevitably have to divorce me when you find out how truly ill-equipped I am to be outdoors. I would miss you terribly.”

“What if I send you a link to the campground’s website to have a look, and ask for it to be my one and only birthday gift this year.”

 “Your one and only birthday gift? You want nothing else than to sleep with your outdoors-averse husband in a tent overnight? Nothing else at all?”

“That is correct.”

David takes a moment, and for a very brief second hates how much and how apparently unconditionally he loves Patrick.

“Please send me the link, I will think about it.” He holds a finger up to Patrick’s delighted face. “I will think about it.”

“That’s all I ask.”

*****

David does not do the outdoors. Until he does.

[podfic of we stood steady as the stars]

[podfic] Learned Our Lessons Well | Check Please! | Shitty & Jack | 34:07

Shitty had known enough sons of celebrities and millionaires to have a pretty clear idea of what Jack Zimmermann would be like. But this kid was nothing like any of them. For some reason, Shitty couldn’t shake the urge to protect this quiet, awkward nerd. Or to maybe actually be friends with him.

Or, scenes from Shitty’s and Jack’s friendship, from their frog year through Shitty’s second year at Harvard Law.

 [podfic of Learned Our Lessons Well]

baby, i’m so into you | Check Please! | Jenny/Mandy | explicit | 607

Mandy and Jenny enjoy each other's company 

[podfic] it’s okay to want things (i think) | A League of Their Own (TV) | Greta/Carson | 04:56

 It's far from the first time that a married woman's ring has snagged Greta's clothing or left scratches on her skin. But it's the first time that she's cared this much—and she hates that the cool press of unfamiliar metal against her cheek is enough to make her eyes narrow and her breath catch.

AKA: The reason why Carson stops wearing her wedding ring.

 [podfic of it's okay to want things (i think)

if only i could have a puppy | Schitt’s Creek | Stevie & David | ~1.6k

After adopting a dog David notices an error on the adoption papers. Of course, everyone in town has an opinion about that.

[podfic] Yes and No | A League of Their Own | Greta/Carson | 09:43

It's easy to say yes to Charlie—his hair ruffled and falling over his blue eyes—when they're six years old.

Five times Carson said yes to Charlie, and the first time she says no to Greta.

The Haus Official Ship Names | Check Please! | Zimbits | multivoice | 30:15

“I’m sorry, what?!”

“Hockey RPF, it means real per…”

“I know what that means. Before that.”

“Zimbits?” he replies with a laugh.

“Mmmhmmm.” Bitty narrows his eyes.

————

A highly intellectual discussion of ship names: the real, the hypothetical, the fucking unpronounceable.

[podfic] holiday volcanoes | Schitt’s Crek | David/Patrick | 02:52

“Should we send out holiday cards now that we’re married?” Patrick asks. They’re relaxing on the couch after work, David curled up under a comfy blanket with his head resting in Patrick’s lap. “I heard Ray is offering a special holiday photo package.”

David looks up at Patrick with one eyebrow raised. “That would be a no.”

“I don’t know, David. It says here that we could be photographed in the arctic, in Santa’s workshop, or in front of a holiday volcano.”

Or, Ray is offering a holiday photo package and Patrick is a troll.

[podfic] Sweater Weather | Check Please! | Dex/Ransom/Holster | 13:41

In which a sweater (or three) act as a catalyst.

it’s fine if it’s with you | Schitt’s Creek | Stevie/Twyla | 3.3k

Stevie and Twyla try fake dating. It’s much harder than it looks.

[singswan-springswan]

ficlet under the cut

The crate tipped with a sudden lurch and broke open on the ground. Zuko spilled unceremoniously with the motion. Inelegant. Graceless. Normally his movements held much more regality, but he'd been kidnapped and stuffed in a scratchy box and out of the water for some indeterminable length of days, so cutting himself some slack here felt appropriate.

It wasn't much brighter outside the stupid box. His scales were dry, his head was killing him, and the floor held a pleasant cool against his mounting fever. He really needed water soon. Every part of his body felt... scratchy. Discomfort would escalate into pain, and then asphyxiation. He would suffocate if he dried out. Idly, he wondered how long it would take. The humans seemed to know. They hadn't acted worried yet.

"Our latest bounty." The voice looming over Zuko was muffled in weird places. "I thought it might spark an interest. You collect fire fish, isn't that right?"

Zuko bit down a hazy groan and fumbled to prop himself up. The loss of the tile's cool against his cheek was one he mourned, but there would be time for relaxing when he found a way out of this mess. He could barely think straight. The humans—the pirates who'd ransomed him from the girl in blue—were standing guard around him now. He could see their boots. They were facing all the same direction, same way the voice was talking towards, and Zuko turned to observe.

The surrounding space was large, a room, and very dimly lit. This wouldn't normally be an issue, being that he was a mer, but his headache made his eyes lazy and bad at adjusting to the dark. If he squinted, he could see the ripple of light along the walls. Blue. Weird. In the direction of the pirates' attention, something like the outline of a table was visible—as large and imposing as the room itself. A single shadowy figure occupied a seat on the far side. He looked weird with the backlight. Zuko's vision was getting spotty.

He didn't get much chance to scan the rest of the surrounding space, because the pirate captain decided to be a jerk and grab his hair. It'd long since escaped its neat topknot, now bunching and sliding strangely in dry heat. The pain and the change in angle made Zuko rapidly lose sight of the shadow man.

"This one's quite a specimen." The pirate tilted Zuko's head back, baring his throat—maybe as a joke; it was always hard to tell if humans knew the significance of such a display—and lifted him enough to catch the light. So their potential buyer could get a better view.

Zuko would like to rip the pirate's skin off and feed it to him, but he was weak with dehydration, and his previous struggles against the man's crew had left him exhausted. All he managed was a low hiss. If humans could understand mer speech, he’d be cursing them as soundly as possible. Someone was standing on his tail. Not that it made much difference. He doubted he could have swung it if it wasn't pinned.

"I've seen a lot of the fire mer in my day, but this one's real pretty. Don't feel bad turning the offer down. We'll keep 'im if you won't." His crew laughed. Bastards. Zuko could hear the leer in the pirate's voice. It made him dizzy with anger.

Then a low grind echoed softly, and the humans cut their chatter short. Zuko distantly registered the shadow at the table moving. What made that noise? Was it his chair? He stood, rounded the massive table, and drew closer. All Zuko could see was a dark, unfocused blob. Vaguely humanoid.

"Yeah, don't be shy! Come get a closer look!"

The fist in his hair tightened. His scalp burned. The fins all down his back shuttered, and a stinging ache began to form in his gills. He needed water. He needed to get out of here. He shouldn't have wandered so close to the shore, even if that pretty girl in blue seemed so friendly at first glance. She did sell him out to these pirate scum. He should have known way better.

Even standing an arm's length away, the lighting continued to cast shadow on the pirate's potential client. It could be reasoned, then, that Zuko and the humans around him were washed in the room's best luminance. Certainly his scar could be seen clear as day. Maybe his tail was pretty, but there were parts of him imperfect. Maybe the stranger wouldn't want to buy him for that. Maybe Zuko would be stuck with these idiot pirates forever.

A smooth voice came from the stranger. "Release him."

"Sure, sure."

The pressure on Zuko's scalp vanished. He collapsed to the cool tile with no more grace than before, even further disoriented, and with a worse headache. He grit his teeth in frustration. That bastard was still on his tail.

Cool fingers tilted his chin up before he could lift his head on his own again; he hadn't seen the shadow man crouch down. Startled, Zuko yanked back and hissed a second time. He made sure to reveal far more fang and fan far wider with his fins; he just wanted these stupid humans to stop poking and grabbing him however often they pleased. Was that too much to ask? He wasn't an ornament. And he sure as heck had no intention of being a pet.

The stranger's face was close, and shadowy, and out of focus. Zuko's head was killing him. The room spun.

"The shape of the fins—” The stranger’s voice began.

“Really something, isn’t it? Never seen a mer so fancy before.”

There was a beat of silence, then the cool fingers returned to Zuko’s jaw and held him firmly in place. He growled. It didn’t make a difference. He was exhausted and hot and vulnerable, and everyone could tell. There was no way to stop them from doing as they pleased. 

“There’s a scar.”

“Wasn’t us, mate. Looks like the beast’s had it for a while. I think it adds to the aesthetic, don’t you agree?”

Zuko glared. It was the sort of one-sided remark he’d only accept from Uncle Iroh, though Azula had made attempts to express similar sentiments in that weird way of hers. He’d always hated the scar. At least the monster who put it there was dead now.

The stranger gave no comment. He reached another hand out and pushed Zuko’s hair aside, away from his eyes. Zuko did his best to meet the unfamiliar gaze as steadily as possible, despite the awkward backlight. He was being stared at. He refused to show how unnerved it made him. His trembling and fever didn’t help much in that regard.

Finally, after a dreadful length of scrutiny, the shadow man spoke. “How much do you want for him?”

Zuko could hear teeth in the pirate’s smile. “How much are you willing to pay?”

“Ten-thousand.”

Zuko didn’t know how humans calculated their currency. He’d assumed mer in general to be expensive, but they called him a stupid something fire fish, and it sounded like exotic. Even so, the pirate captain seemed shocked. He let out a high chuckle.

“Well! Show me the gold and you’ve got yourself a deal!”

The stranger waved an uninterested hand over his shoulder, and another grinding sound reverberated through the floor. Zuko couldn’t see the source of the sound with multiple different shadows clouding his vision. Judging by the pirates’ hushed tithering, their payment had been offered.

“Excellent! Pleasure doing business with you, as always.”

“Zaheera will see you out.”

The group broke formation around Zuko and floated away, whispering excitedly. Though they’d been awful to him, he couldn’t help a flicker of fear at their absence. At least with the pirates, he knew they’d avoid causing permanent damage. He knew they’d want to sell him for the highest price possible. Now, he had no idea what to expect. This stranger could have any number of sinister plans in mind; Zuko had certainly heard the horror stories. All young mer were warned about the brutality of humans, and now he was at the mercy of someone who really wanted him. This was bad.

The stranger let him go, and the world tilted as Zuko crumpled. He was very dizzy. And angry. And he really wanted to sink his fangs into human flesh.

But when he turned (against his better judgment) to snap at his new captor, a firm hand was already pushing down the back of his neck. The same way one might handle an unruly pup. Zuko was too tired to be insulted by the gesture. He wasn’t a pup anymore, but a move like that with the human’s advantage was enough to subdue even a full-grown mer.

“Watch out with that one!” The pirate’s faint voice called back. “Quite a monster at full strength. He killed two of my men when we—”

“Get out.”

The heavy thud of the door confirmed their absence, though the human didn’t seem to pay any attention to it. He ducked another snap of Zuko’s teeth, and ignored his crackly snarl, and slid his arms beneath scratchy scales. The world tilted again. Zuko would consider puking if he wasn’t so close to blacking out. The human was carrying him. Impressive. Zuko was heavy outside the water. His fins trailed the floor as they moved, but he was very much in the air, solidly in the man’s grip. Almost cradled, even if he was too big for the pup-hold to have effect a second time. The use of such familiar techniques should have rung a bell in his mind. Zuko’s headache and exhaustion wouldn’t let him dwell on it.

After a dizzying stretch, something wonderful happened. Zuko heard water. The noise was still muffled, and it faltered clarity with every stray tilt of his head, but Zuko knew what water sounded like. He’d been fantasizing about it for the past few days.

There was a splash, and with distant elation, he felt his fins trail. He wasn’t lucid enough to hold back the happy trill.

“I know.” The man huffed, and it rumbled through his chest. “I know—those bastards.”

The water rushed up around him, deliciously cool, salty, clean. It took Zuko up to his gills to realize he’d been lowered into a pool of some kind. It was shallow, but not cramped. He drew a deep breath. That felt very nice. The hands were gone. 

He didn’t bother confirming he was alone before passing out soundly.

<~><><~>

Zuko was alone when he came to, and his headache had finally retreated to the realm of faint discomfort. Incredible what a good long sleep in water could do for one’s health. The pirates hadn’t put him in a tank. They were mad about what a fuss he caused the first time they brought him aboard, and they’d rightly concluded he’d be easier to handle if he was dehydrated and exhausted and dizzy. They’d doused him with lukewarm buckets every few hours, just to keep him from dying. Zuko was relieved to be back in water now. Even if trepidation about the uncertainty of his new circumstances wouldn’t let him relax.

The pool he’d been placed in was shallow; he couldn’t move without some part of his tail skimming the surface. It was still comfortable in spite of that. The edges spanned a decent length, so he could turn with ease, and the basin interior was cut from smooth, white stone. His fins shone stark against it. The pool itself seemed to be laid into the ground, flush.

Zuko scanned his surroundings while he waited for something to happen. He still seemed to be indoors. The walls here weren’t as high as the one from before—from the sale pitch—and most of them were made of a clear material. It shone with sunlight from outside. The rest of the space was occupied by greenery. The taller ones reaching the ceiling had been planted in beds in the ground, surrounded at the base with bushy, leafy shrubs, and brilliant flowers, and crawling vines. The faint sound of water also trickled through the maze, but Zuko couldn’t see the source of it from where he was. It was peaceful. Uncle would love this place.

But Zuko hadn’t forgotten how he ended up here, and he had no illusions about being treated fairly, even if he’d been left undisturbed in such a pleasant area. He had to keep his guard up. He was being held against his will. He was trapped on land with no way to escape or get home. He didn’t have much experience with humans, but so far they’d only beaten him, used him, or treated him like a pretty ornamental object, and he had no reason to believe this behavior would change soon. He had to be prepared for the worst.

In truth, he really wanted to murder someone. The urge had become so intense during his captivity with the pirates, and he hadn’t had a real outlet, being close to dying of dehydration. Now that he was rested, his jaw nearly ached to bite through bone.

He spent the time waiting for an opportunity by pacing around the pool. The space didn’t allow for much more than tight circles. Still, it was better than sitting around stewing in all his problems. 

Mother was probably worried by now. Him being an adult with a life of his own didn’t stop her from worrying that he wasn’t home every day. Azula didn’t feel the same. Azula would kill for him though; she’d done it before.

Eventually, after what seemed like an hour of thinking to himself and going crazy for it, the faintest vibrations thrummed through the water, and Zuko froze. Footsteps. Someone was approaching. 

He lifted his head above the surface. The sound drew closer, brushing through the plants with a practiced gait. Zuko coiled his body. There was deliberation in the person’s movement. They knew he was here. They were coming to see him. The likelihood that he’d be attacking an innocent servant or something alike was low, and that brought him a hint of reassurance.

When the human came into view, bathed in green filtered sunlight, stepping out to the pool’s edge, Zuko took an entire second to appraise the figure. Tall. Male. Dark hair, luxurious silk robes in green and pale yellow. When he spoke, it was the same smooth voice from the shadowy stranger that paid for him.

“Hello.”

Zuko didn’t wait any longer. He launched himself at the human with a vicious snarl. His vision was red. His heart was pounding. How dare they treat him with such contempt? He wasn’t some prized bounty. He wasn’t an ornament for some rich knave’s garden. He wouldn’t take this insult and abuse lying down, and if these humans continued to assume so, they were in for a shock.

To some degree of satisfaction, the man did seem shocked to be bowled over. The air left his lungs in a massive wheeze, and his eyes went very wide. He was also��however—quick. He reflexively shoved Zuko’s head away when Zuko tried to bite, and he managed to lurch free enough to dodge an elbow to the face. 

“Wait!” The man yelped.

But Zuko had a size advantage, and the man was on his back, and Zuko really wanted him dead. He slammed his shoulders into the grass, pinned his legs with his tail, made another attempt to remove the throat with his teeth. This time, the man brought his arm up in a hasty block. Zuko was too busy biting down to be upset he’d missed his target. Blood and the creak of bone filled his mouth.

There was a shout of pain. “Wait wait—Zuko, stop!”

The words pierced his hazy red anger like ice through fresh snow. Zuko froze. Even being slightly feral at the taste of blood and festered indignation, he rapidly came to his senses and dropped the arm. His mind spun. 

How did this man know his name? The pirates didn’t know. The pretty girl in blue didn’t know. And he wouldn’t be able to tell them if he wanted to (which he very much had not). It wasn’t a lucky guess. No one shared his name that he’d ever met. So why—how could a random human—

“Get off!” The human fumbled to shove Zuko’s face away. His sleeve was ruined, and rapidly turning red.

Zuko slowly obliged. The man didn’t seem angry. He only seemed annoyed, even as he bled profusely from an arm that might be broken. There was something unnervingly familiar about the twist of his scowl. He shuffled sideways and sat up.

“Spirits, kid, you’ve got a strong jaw.”

“I’m not—” Zuko cut himself off before he could complete the retort. The human wouldn’t understand him. The human knew he wasn’t a kid. Zuko was very obviously a full grown mer. 

“You could have let me explain myself before trying to kill me.” Why did his scowl look so familiar? The man untied a sash of his fancy outfit and wrapped his arm with clinical efficiency. Then he looked up to meet Zuko’s eye, and his scowl faltered. “Are you okay?”

What.

Zuko stared. Was he seriously… asking if Zuko was okay? There was blood in the grass and in his robes and he might have a concussion and his ribs might be bruised and Zuko would at worst have a sore jaw. He shifted back warily. In his experience, crazy men often did cruel things. 

When he made no move to respond, the man sighed roughly and looked away. “Guess I should have waited on that tea. Zaheera will be by with some shortly.”

“What?”

What on earth was he talking about? Tea? Of all things? How did he know Zuko’s name and why was he so relaxed about the bite on his arm and why did the slope of his nose look so familiar and why was he talking about tea in the blood and the grass?

“You were always more civil with it around.”

Okay, now Zuko was thoroughly weirded out. He wished he had an exit. An escape route. He was stuck on land in an unfamiliar house and the closest thing he had to sanctuary was a fake pool of water barely deep enough to sleep in. This was freaking him out just the slightest.

“You’re nuts.” He said. Just to say it. The man wouldn’t understand the words or the insult in them, but Zuko was sick of just sitting around not saying anything, waiting for stupid humans to come to the right conclusions.

For his effort, he was rewarded with the faintest thaw of the man’s grumpy expression. It looked amused somehow. “And why is that?” He asked.

What.

A trace of alarm made Zuko flinch. “...Because you’re… talking to me.” He probed. Just to see. Humans weren’t supposed to understand.

“Why would that make me crazy? You’re real, aren’t you?” He glanced at his sleeve, now mostly red. “I’m pretty sure you are.”

Zuko blanched. He considered backing away, back into the pool. The safety it offered was purely psychological, but it would be something at least. It’d be better than lying vulnerable on the ground next to a crazy person. His fins twitched.

“What—but—you understand me?”

“Of course.”

“But humans aren’t supposed to understand.” From what he’d heard, humans interpreted mer speech as primitive and animalistic: nothing more than a series of harsh vocalizations strung together. Zuko had demanded an explanation for the phenomenon when he was younger. After all, mer understood human speech just fine. No one was able to give him a satisfactory answer.

“Well, I’m not human.” The human said. “Technically.”

“Then what are you?” Possibly a witch? Zuko had heard of their strange abilities. Or maybe he was a spirit. In which case Zuko was screwed. He probably couldn’t get away with attempted murder on a spirit; he’d totally be cursed or something. It could also be a shapeshifter of sorts, from the myths.

But the man quickly dispelled any outlandish theories. For the first time that Zuko had seen, a flicker of hurt crossed his features. It made him look older than he likely was. Haunted.

“Wow Zuzu, you don’t remember your favorite cousin?”

No.

No, he definitely didn’t mean that. Zuko didn’t have any cousins. Not for eleven years. And there’d only been—one. Just one. Now there weren’t any.

But looking closer, Zuko could see why the scowl looked so familiar. He saw the same face in the mirror. And this man wasn’t human, clearly, even if he had legs in place of a red streaming tail. In place of the gold ribbon fins their family shared—that he must have recognized when he first saw Zuko. 

He knew Zuko’s name. Zuzu. Azula tried to call him that—maybe out of nostalgia—but it belonged to them both, and Zuko hated to hear her say it because there was only one person who tried to bring them together like that, and hearing her say it reminded him of… of… a dead man.

Except he couldn’t be dead. He was right here. His blood tasted very real.

“Lu Ten?”

He looked so much like his father when he smiled. “Yeah.”

Zuko gaped. That felt like the only appropriate thing to do. Maybe the dehydration actually got to him, and this whole series of events was an elaborate hallucination. Maybe Azula spiked his tea with a psychedelic for her weird sense of humor, and he was hallucinating. It was too strange. This didn’t make any sense. Zuko’s cousin was dead, and if he wasn’t, wouldn’t Uncle know? Would Uncle have cried so hard so many private times if this was real? It felt so real.

“How did you get that scar?”

“How are you not dead?” Zuko’s head was spinning, though thankfully not from dehydration. He wasn’t sure if this was worse, actually. “Uncle thinks you’re dead.”

The comment earned him a flinch. “There’s actually a good explanation for that.”

“Which is?”

“I’m cursed.” Lu Ten squinted into the middle distance, looking uncomfortably close to being emotional. “To live as a human. And I can’t… go near the sea. I tried. It almost turned me into sea foam.”

Zuko dropped his head into his hands and groaned.

[fellthemarvelous]

The Small Back Room - Maggie's Record Shop (unhinged meta no one asked for, part 1)

I'm going to cover these in two separate posts because there are a lot. This post is going to be dedicated to the artists with multiple covers in Maggie's shop.

*This is all bonus content from The Arrival (2x1).

What is the purpose of the record shop? It's called The Small Back Room, and it's connected to Aziraphale's bookshop. And a small back room seems like a place someone would store their records.

"If I owned a record shop, I'd be more concerned about people breaking in and leaving more records behind." - Nina

And someone left more records behind. Records of "Every Day".

Aziraphale hears Gabriel sing a human song that Aziraphale is unfamiliar with, so he goes to the record shop to ask Maggie, who actually has way too many copies of "Every Day" because of a pub in Edinburgh, the place with the cemetery that has the statue of Gabriel.

There is more to it though. The pub called the Resurrectionist that plays "Every Day" over and over on the jukebox (and somewhere in America John Mulaney is cackling like a madman) now has direct ties with Aziraphale's personal life because they ended up in Maggie's record shop.

The place where they met Elspeth and Wee Morag, Mr. Dalrymple, messed with dead bodies, and where Crowley saved one woman's soul from Hell.

We heard one passage from Aziraphale's diary, and it was about the time he and Crowley went to Edinburgh that started off with them looking at the statue of Gabriel.

We know Aziraphale has more than 600 volumes of personal written history (as of 1827).

Where is he going to store records of his life on Earth? A record shop that no one other than him visits, attached to the building he owns.

The walls lined with record covers that are telling stories. Clues as to where the story is going to take us? Could they be Aziraphale's diaries or other important records Aziraphale has kept for thousands of years?

And is anyone else concerned about "Come on Over to Our Third Floor Apartment" or is that just me? Heaven is the third floor when you look at the button arrangements on the lift. ⬆️⬆️ ⬇️⬇️

Oslo Revival 1. Come on Over to Our Third Floor Apartment (We're Having a Party / Just for You / Four in a Bed / Have This Drink / It Doesn't Taste Weird / We'll Take Care of You / We Love You / You're One of Us Now / Together Forever) 2. Disguises (Carol and Her Hat / The Bicycle / Memories of a Windchime / Lunch / Who Am I Today? / Make Me Cry / Peggy Asked for Her Jumper Back) 3. It's Raining in My Kitchen (You Cast a Spell on My Wife / Running into Danger / Transcending the Patriarchy / Plumbing / A Dozen Eggs, (Too Many) / Someone New in the Bedroom) 4. Better Together

Kubasulu 1. Great White Lies (Fishy Business / Fluent in Shark-asm / Vanish into Fin-air / Gettin' Chummy / You're Gill-ty / No-fin Left to Lose / I Chews You) 2. Sweating in the City

Rat Keith 1. Look at This Mountain (The Mountain I Climbed / Assorted Wailing Chants of Peril / I Ate Some Berries (Shouldn't Have Done That) / What Happens on the Mountain, Stays on the Mountain / I See It in My Dreams / Soiled Leaves and Soft Bark / Don't Touch the Mushrooms / Huddle for Warmth / My Map Blew Away / This is My Home Now / Finally Rescued) 2. A Dog in God's Hot Car 3. Chem Trails

Raga Koboj 1. Raga Koboj 2. Earth, Swallow Me Whole (Why Can I Just Stay in Bed? / Sighing Loudly / No One's Going to Lunch / I'm Hungry But I Don't Want to Eat Alone / I Wonder What's on the Menu Today / Probably Something Mediocre / I'm Tired / It's Friday / I Wish It Would End) 3. Just Sounds 2.0 (Falling Coin / Stubbed Toe / Oops! / Rice in a Bowl / Spoon Clang / Gagging / Crinkled Paper / Bad Alphabet / Winded)

Deaf Dust 1. Change the Lightbulb (Cartwheels in Mexico / The cinnamon candle / Hold Me / Let Go / Who wait's for us? / Awesome / The basement's pretty dark / Broken Bulb / Stairway to your Mum's house) 2. Snapshots from the Moon

Randa Ransom 1. Doin' it in the Dust (Hard on the Rocks / Ridin' the Horizon / Tall Drink of Water / Wear My Hat / Call My Name / Let Me Use a Saddle / Just Us in the Dust) 2. I'm Lost and I Don't Speak the Language (Lost in Tokyo / WHat's that shop selling? / Sex Dolls (Self-Assembly) / Where's the Bathroom? / This Toilet is Singing / More Sex Dolls / There's a Cafe for Cats / I Want to Go Home / What's Home in Japanese? / Take Me Anywhere Taxi Man) 3. The Answer May Surprise You

Georgina O'Georgia 1. Gorgeous in Georgia ("Oh, George You're Gorgeous" / "It's Georgia with a G!" / "Get your hands off my hair" / "Yes, that's my real name") 2. Spur of the Moment

CT Bazz 1. Locking Up & Looking Down 2. Dank Balaclava

I've never seen anyone talk about these though, but they seem important. Have I missed conversation surrounding these? I'm just really curious as to what other people might think.

As I said above, there is a part two, but that part will cover artists with only one cover.

[tanoraqui]

Elros&Elrond superhero anon here, I absolutely love those powers for them, they’re so cool. I mean, healing powers are fairly standard but you’ve got me entirely on board with healer!Elros (although I’m betting that Elros does NOT heal Maglor’s hand after the twins regain consciousness) and I just really love what you’ve done with Elrond’s powers!

(re: this post)

HEALER!ELROS SUPREMACY. And while I’m at it, Elros being the first to (conditionally) trust and even come to love their monstrous kidnapper-cousins, because quicker commitment and greater daring for the unknown makes sense in one who will one day choose to die as a Man; why is Elros always the stabby one and Elrond always the sweet one in kidnap-era fics! supremacy. Elrond is going to end up sweet, okay; he doesn’t need to start there. In the superhero au, when he masters his power of this aura of peace, he’s going to be able to do the “I am one with the force and the force is with me” walk from Rogue One through battlefields, but he has to learn how to maintain that true sense of calm and non-violence.

(Partial credit for the idea goes to @isi7140 btw, for suggesting the Elrond-appropriate twinly mirror to healing be making some sort of protected area a la Rivendell.)

Also ha, yeah, Elros definitely is NOT going to heal Maglor’s hand right there. Maybe, maybe, in several weeks when they’ve bonded a little he’ll heal whatever’s left of the wound as a show of the bond formed between them by then? …or in several months?

What happens in this weeks and/or months, of course, is Elrond and Elros making multiple attempts to escape supervillain captivity and find their mother while Maglor and Maedhros try to figure out who they are, where they came from, and can we ransom them to Doriath for Silmarils? Meanwhile Elwing doesn’t even know her sons followed her through the rip in spacetime; she and Eärendil are…idk if they both got to Earth at roughly this time, or if only one did and the other is off finding Valar in space somewhere, or if they’re BOTH off finding Valar and/or distant mermaid relatives (respectively) in space? NO WAIT, THE TELERI ARE ATLANTIS! PERFECT! That makes Eärwen and her kids’ genetics make so much more sense! So, Elwing ended up in the ocean somewhere, drowning, and is rescued to Atlantis, but she’s trying to find Eärendil who is in space somewhere, meeting gods…

Thingol is the former King of Atlantis who moved permanently to land to marry a minor forest goddess, who shaped herself a permanent material form in order to marry him…the romance… (Sometimes he makes noise about bossing around Atlanteans again and Olwë is like, “um, you LEFT, actually.”)

Yes of course this means that all of Eärwen’s kids, grandkids, etc. can shed their human legs & grow gills in water and turn into mermaids!! Though it gets harder the more they interbreed with humans. Finrod, Angrod, Aegnor & Galadriel can all do it easily. Orodreth, Celebrian and Finrod&Amarië’s Golden Horde have to make an effort and it hurts a little. Finduilas and Rodnor require Musical assistance, though much less than an ordinary human would. (Aegnor marries an alien of some sort so idk what’s up with their kids—probably standard quarter-Atlantean, really, because it’s about magic Music more than genetics. Amarië is also an alien but the Vanyar are only as alien as, like, Vulcans; Andreth is something much stranger.)

[eternal-echoes]

“Even the Church fathers, who bequeathed to Western civilization an enormous corpus of literary and scholarly work, found time to devote themselves to the service of their fellow men. Saint Augustine established a hospice for pilgrims, ransomed slaves, and gave away clothing to the poor. He warned people not to give him expensive garments, since he would only sell them and give the proceeds to the poor.1) Saint John Chrysostom founded a series of hospitals in Constantinople.2 Saint Cyprian and Saint Ephrem organized relief efforts during times of plague and famine.”

- Thomas E. Woods Jr., Ph.D., “How Catholic Charity Changed the World,” How the Catholic Church Built Western Civilization

—

1. Gerhard Uhlhorn, Christian Charity in the Ancient Church (New York: Charles Scribner's Sons, 1883), 264

2. Cajetan Baluffi, The Charity of the Church, trans. Denis Gargan (Dublin: M. H. Gill and Son, 1885), 39; Schmidt, Under the Influence, 157.

[amberjane9]

The album art from Maggie's shop

Presented entirely without comment. Do with these what you will.

Oslo Revival

Come On Over to Our Third Floor Apartment

We’re Having a Party

Just For You

Four In A Bed

Have This Drink

It Doesn’t Taste Weird

We’ll Take Care Of You

We Love You

You’re One Of Us Now

Together Forever

Disguises

Carol and her hat

The bicycle

Memories of a windchime

Lunch

Who am i today

Make me cry

Peggy asked for her jumper back

It’s raining in my kitchen

You cast a spell on my wife

Running into danger

Transcending the patriarchy

Plumbing

A dozen eggs (too many)

Someone New in the Bedroom

Better Together

No track listings

Kubasulu

Great White Lies

Fishy Business

Fluent in Shark-asm

Vanish into Fin-air

Gettin’ Chummy

You’re Gill-ty

No-fin Left to Lose

I Chews You

Sweating in the City

No track listing

Rat Kieth

Look at This Mountain

The Mountain I climbed

Assorted Wailing Cries of Peril

I Ate Some Berries (Shouldn’t Have Done That)

What Happens on the Mountain Stays on the Mountain

I See It in My Dreams

Soiled Leaves and Soft Bark

Don’t Touch the Mushrooms

Huddle for Warmth

My Map Blew Away

This Is My Home Now

Finally Rescued

A Dog in God’s Hot Car

Chem Trails

Raga Kobot

Earth, Swallow Me Whole

Why Can’t I Just Stay In Bed?

Sighing Loudly

No One’s Going to Lunch

I’m Hungry But I Don’t WAnt to Eat Alone

I Wonder What’s On the Menu Today

Probably Something Mediocre

I’m Tired

It’s Friday

I Wish It Would End

Just Sounds 2.0

Falling Coin

Stubbed Toe

Oops!

Rice in a Bowl

Spoon Clang 

Gagging

Crinkled Paper

Bad Alphabet

Winded

Deaf Dust

Change the Lightbulb

Cartwheels in Mexico

This cinnamon candle

Hold me

Let go

Who wait’s for us?

Awesome

The basement’s pretty dark

Broken Bulb

Stairway to your Mum’s house.

Snapshots From the Moon

Randa Ransom

Doin’ It in the Dust

Hard on the Rocks

Ridin’ The Horizon

Tall Drink of Water

Wear My Hat

Call My Name

Let Me Use A Saddle

Just Us in the Dust

I’m Lost and I Don’t Speak the Language

Lost in Tokyo

WHat’s that shop selling?

Sex Dolls (Self-Assembly)

Where’s the bathroom?

This Toilet is Singing

More Sex Dolls

There’s a Cafe for Cats

I Want to Go Home

What’s Home in Japanese?

Take Me Anywhere Taxi Man

The Answer May Surprise You

Georgina O’Georgia

Gorgeous in Georgia

Oh George, you’re gorgeous

It’s Georgia with a G!

Get your hands off my hair

Yes, that’s my real name

Spur Of The Moment

The Walking Shambles

Long Strides

Moira Walbrook

Getting Darker Seeing the Light, Vol. 4

Au Revoir Fingers

Red Eye Smiles

Stupid Teeth

Lateral Incisor

Rosanna Koson

Skinny Dipping

Sheila Sims

International Tour Live Recording, London 2015

Kobie Conroy

A Single Malt and a Good Woman

Alexandru Wainright

Flying Birds and Chem Trails

Izabelle McLaughlin

Singing in my Sleep

Allison Hut

Symphony No. 4 - Soprano, Recorded Performance with the Silver City Players

Milli LeBlanc

Set me on fire

Antoine Balynska

It’s Been a Long Night

I can’t wait to take my shoes off

Slip into the bath

Read a good book

Have a watery nap

Grab my jammies

Curl up in bed

Press my head into the pillow

Fall asleep forever

The Silver City Players

Climbing the mountain of God

My first-born is yours, O Lord

Prayers for supper

Fishing Rodney

Small Pond

CT Bazz

Locking up and looking down

No track listing

Dank Balaclava

No track listing

Moshe Redman

Up close and personal

Michelle Kolov

Layers

Hamid Moon

Sea Songs

One day I started floating

Got lost in the waves

Didn’t bring a paddle

Been here for three weeks

Can’t see land

There’s little hope left

Rehan Yu

Neon Dreams 2.0

Late night madness

Last orders

Stumbling

The night tube

Falling asleep

Waking up in Vauxhall

The night tube (remix)

Giving up at Wood Green

Walking alone

I dropped my phone

Shitty kebab

Restless sleep in a bush

[hiswordsarekisses]

“You do not know what you are asking,” Jesus replied. “Can you drink the cup I am going to drink?” “We can,” the brothers answered. “You will indeed drink My cup,” Jesus said. “But to sit at My right or left is not Mine to grant. These seats belong to those for whom My Father has prepared them.” When the ten heard about this, they were indignant with the two brothers. But Jesus called them aside and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles Lord it over them, and their superiors exercise authority over them. It shall not be this way among you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must be your slave— just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.”” Matthew‬ ‭20‬:‭22‬-‭28‬

To drink of a cup, in the Scriptures, often signifies to be afflicted, or to be punished, Matthew 26:39; Isaiah 51:17, Isaiah 51:22; Psalm 73:10; Psalm 75:8; Jeremiah 25:15; Revelation 16:9. The figure is taken from a feast, where the master of a feast extends a cup to those present. Thus God is represented as extending to his Son a cup filled with a bitter mixture - one causing deep sufferings, John 18:11. This was the cup to which he referred.

The baptism that I am baptized with - This is evidently a phrase denoting the same thing. Are ye able to suffer with me - to endure the trials and pains which shall come upon you and me in endeavoring to build up my kingdom? Are you able to bear it when sorrows shall cover you like water, and you shall be sunk beneath calamities as floods, in the work of religion? Afflictions are often expressed by being sunk in the floods and plunged in deep waters, Psalm 69:2; Isaiah 43:2; Psalm 124:4-5; Lamentations 3:54. (Barnes Notes on the Bible)

And he saith unto them, ye shall drink indeed of my cup,.... Not of the selfsame, but of what was like unto it; meaning, that they should endure much persecution for his name's sake, as all that will live godly in Christ Jesus must expect in one shape or another. Thus James, who was one of these persons, was slain with the sword by Herod; John, the other, was imprisoned, and beaten by the order of the Jewish sanhedrim, was banished into the isle of Patmos by Domitian; and, some say, was cast into a cauldron of boiling oil, though saved in it: so that these words seem to be a prophecy of what they should suffer for Christ, instead of enjoying places of worldly honour and profit under him, they were seeking for. (Gill’s Exposition of the Bible)

[likestowalk]

The keep

Was ache

You were young

An avenue

You were grace 

A salmon of river red

I caught you 

In view you were tight

A I handed and 

Cleaned an ounce

To scrape your 

gills as I hammered 

And reddened pulse

To tamper 

And bleed a story

Of fairy wishes and 

Diabolical age to ransom

A sermon of youth

[tomorrowedblog]

Friday Releases for March 31

Friday is the busiest day of the week for new releases, so we've decided to collect them all in one place. Friday Releases for March 31 include Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves, Tetris, Murder Mystery 2, and more.

Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves

Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves, the new movie from John Francis Daley and Jonathan Goldstein, is out today.

A charming thief and a band of unlikely adventurers undertake an epic heist to retrieve a lost relic, but things go dangerously awry when they run afoul of the wrong people.

Tetris

Tetris, the new movie from Jon S. Baird, is out today.

The game you couldn’t put down, the story you couldn’t make up.

Taron Egerton stars in a new Apple Original Film inspired by the true story of how one man risked his life to outsmart the KGB and turn Tetris into a worldwide sensation.

Murder Mystery 2

Murder Mystery 2, the new movie from Jeremy Garelick, is out today.

Four years after solving their first murder mystery, Nick and Audrey Spitz (Adam Sandler, Jennifer Aniston) are now full-time detectives struggling to get their private eye agency off the ground when they’re invited to celebrate the wedding of their friend the Maharaja (Adeel Akhtar) on his private island. But trouble follows the Spitzes again when the groom is kidnapped for ransom soon after the festivities begin — making each glamorous guest, family member, and the bride herself a suspect. MURDER MYSTERY 2 sends Nick and Audrey Spitz on a high-stakes case that finally gives them everything they’ve ever dreamed of: a shot at their detective agency finally becoming successful… and their long-awaited trip to Paris.

Rye Lane

Rye Lane, the new movie from Raine Allen-Miller, is out today.

Yas (Vivian Oparah) and Dom (David Jonsson), two twenty-somethings both reeling from bad break-ups, connect over the course of an eventful day in South London - helping each other deal with their nightmare exes, and potentially restoring their faith in romance.

Kill Boksoon

Kill Boksoon, the new movie from Sung-hyun Byun, is out today.

At work, she’s a renowned assassin. At home, she’s a single mom to a teenage daughter. Killing? That’s easy. It’s parenting that’s the hard part.

Space Oddity

Space Oddity, the new movie from Kyra Sedgwick, is out today.

When Alex gives up on earth and decides to leave it all behind for a one-way mission to Mars, an unexpected romance forces him to choose between an uncertain journey to the stars or an even more uncertain journey of the heart.

A Thousand And One

A Thousand And One, the new movie from A.V. Rockwell, is out today.

A THOUSAND AND ONE follows unapologetic and free-spirited Inez (Teyana Taylor), who kidnaps her six-year-old son Terry from the foster care system. Holding onto their secret and each other, mother and son set out to reclaim their sense of home, identity, and stability, in a rapidly changing New York City.

BAIT

BAIT, the new movie from Mark Jenkin, is out today.

Martin Ward is a cove fisherman, without a boat. His brother Steven has repurposed their father’s vessel as a tourist tripper, driving a wedge between the brothers. With their childhood home now a get-away for London money, Martin is displaced to the estate above the picturesque harbor.

Smoking Causes Coughing

Smoking Causes Coughing, the new movie from Quentin Dupieux, is out today.

SMOKING CAUSES COUGHING follows the misadventures of a team of five superheroes known as the Tobacco Force - Benzene (Gilles Lellouche), Nicotine (Anaïs Demoustier), Methanol (Vincent Lacoste), Mercury (Jean-Pascal Zadi), and Ammonia (Oulaya Amamra). After a devastating battle against a diabolical giant turtle, the Tobacco Force is sent on a mandatory week-long retreat to strengthen their decaying group cohesion. Their sojourn goes wonderfully well until Lézardin, Emperor of Evil, decides to annihilate planet Earth.

The Power

The Power, the new TV series from Raelle Tucker, Naomi Alderman, and Sarah Quintrell, is out today.

The world of The Power is our world, but for one twist of nature. Suddenly, and without warning, teenage girls develop the power to electrocute people at will. The Power follows a cast of remarkable characters from London to Seattle, Nigeria to Eastern Europe, as the Power evolves from a tingle in teenagers’ collarbones to a complete reversal of the power balance of the world.

Troublemaker

Troublemaker, the new game from Gamecom Team and Freedom Games, is out today.

Grab a backpack, boxing tape, and focus on what high school is all about: Beating the ever loving crap out of one another! Troublemaker blends favorite action-adventure-beat-'em-up elements from the strongest traditions in the genre.

Call Me If You Get Lost: The Estate Sale

Call Me If You Get Lost: The Estate Sale, the new album from Tyler, The Creator, is out today.

The Great Escape

The Great Escape, the new album from Larry June and The Alchemist, is out today.

I’M REALLY LIKE THAT

I’M REALLY LIKE THAT, the new album from DJ Drama, is out today.

[pennpinky]

April Reads Wrap-up Late post

[bi-demon-ium]

for the fic title ask game, "Proof of Life"? :)

my immediate first thought was "mom says it's milligan's turn on the kidnapping"

i do so love "nicholas gets kidnapped and the gang save him (bonus points for added nicholas/milligan for spice" but like. also. i just think. milligan so rarely gets captured because he is very, very good at what he does. but perhaps, in aiming to protect one of the others, he lets himself get captured instead...

and well, curtain knows his brother well. he knows what kind of ransom will get what he wants. namely, sure, he could just wipe the ex-chemist and be done with it. but he was supposed to have nicholas by now, and. well. perhaps a trade is in order?

so a ransom arrives: and proof of life along with it. i think actual fleshy bits would be a bit too dark, and video of some sort in a tape probably makes the most sense. although also consider the tape includes him cutting his hair--the threat being next time he'll cut something less temporary. it's humiliation + control + threat. it's. not good.

(nicholas: oh. i think i'm angry. is this what it's like to be mind-numbingly furious? i don't know what's going to happen now but i might go berserk. hm, interesting.)

anyway vivid image of milligan tied up very securely, drugged to the gills so he won't escape like he has before, blinking blearily as he feels gentle hands on his head, a worried voice murmuring, and managing to open his eyes to see nicholas--immediately jerking up and panicking because he couldn't be here, it was dangerous--but he calms him down, it's alright, milligan, we're going to get you out of here, everything's been taken care of, it's alright, and like. it's milligan's turn to be gently untied and to collapse forward (slumping against nicholas's chest who's rocked back with an oof) and the others come to help and. for once he isn't fighting.

(also see re: the hair thing, number two and/or rhonda insisting on cutting it properly (as it had just been sort of hacked off--although actually very funny if curtain got his personal hairdresser to do it bc he's not an ANIMAL nicky, in which case it's more to change the style out of spite) to make it neater. bonus if kate gets him dye it, albeit temporarily, bc that would be funny. milligan with blue hair and pronouns ldkfgjlkghjfghgh. anyway the point is reclaimation, self-identification, etc. oof)

[beardedmrbean]

A hospital southeast of Paris has been targeted by a cyber attack, causing disruption to its services. Nurses are having to file data by hand. The hackers have demanded a $10 million ransom to unblock the system, but the hospital’s director says it will not pay.

The IT system at the hospital centre in Corbeil-Essonnes has been virtually paralysed by a cyber attack. Non-critical services have had to be directed elsewhere, and staff are now working with limited resources.

"Each day we need to rewrite patients' medications, all the prescriptions, the discharge prescriptions," said Valerie Caudwell, the president of the medical commission of the CHSF hospital. "For the nurses, instead of putting in all the patients' data on the computer, they now need to file it manually from scratch."

The hackers have demanded a $10 million ransom, but the hospital's director says it won't be paying up.

"You know the hospital would not pay, has not paid and will not pay this type of ransom," said CHSF director Gilles Calmes.

Police specialising in cyber crime are investigating. Cyber attacks targeting hospitals in France have been increasing recently, with 380 last year, a 70 percent rise from 2020.

[mantleoflight]

(for echo)

Despite his heritage, Mathafew rarely if ever ventured to Awoken-controlled space. At first glance his eyes were really the only hint to his mixed lineage and his powerful telepathic abilities, which started as simply Awoken, had been amplified by the dragon , Ashven and clearly set him apart. He was here now in the Dreaming city only because of another dragon hidden at its depths.

He followed its mind down to where it hid, the whole whole his own mind beginning to race as memories of Ashven stirred and flashed before his eyes. Of being a small child held as a ransom by the beast, how it had twisted his father’s wish… Mathafew stopped just outside of this dragon’s chamber. “Great Ahamkara,” he said with a bow. “I’ve brought you an offering.”

Before going to the lengths of finding a dragon, he had returned to where Ashven rested, had hoped that the dragon’s bones held enough magic to grant his wish. And when they hadn’t, or at least had not seemed to, he brought them with to gift to a living dragon. It seemed appropriate to return the bones to one who might more value them. Mathafew drew them out, the small fragments the Guardians hadn’t destroyed, and knelt to set them on the floor before the beast.

@sundanceofapache

Echo was not used to having to hide from her pack or fellow guardians. At least not like this. Back on the Throne World, she at least had a plausible alibi to keep her from getting killed or imprisoned for treason. But now? Nope, she was as Wish Dragon as one could get and Wish Dragons had looong since been decreed to be "too dangerous to live" and her fellow Guardians were very good at following orders like that.

In fact, with all the guardians swarming to fight the invading Scorn, Hive, and Taken, she was lucky to escape the tunnels under the Dreaming City at all! Nessus wasn't much safer and she knew she'd freeze to death if she went to Europa. So rather than change local, the guardian-turned-Ahamkara managed to fake her death, giving some attacking guardians a grand show, a brilliantly painted illusion with a satisfying loot box to make it authentic.

After that, she managed to make her way to one of the seaside caves where the pearlescent waters of the Dreaming Sea lapped at her cave doorstep. She thought it was very clever, actually, surrounding her door with water so deep even the Young Wolf wouldn't be able to cross it. What she didn't expect was for another person to venture forth and overcome such trifling ditties as a moat and maze to her den.

It was a lovely den too, fashioned by her own paracausal magic as she experimented with what exactly she could and couldn't do with her powers. Illusions were wonderful, easy to paint upon the walls or build to protect the center of her maze. The place had been made to deter guardians and their Light, but Echo hadn't been expecting normal people to try and figure out her maze.

Thus it came as a pin-dropping shock when she heard a young man speak right outside her door. The illusion she'd been trying to weave vanished in flutter of rippling light and she curled her lengthy body up to look at the door. Had the guardians found her? Was she going to be killed!? She slunk back, Her ghost, now adorned with a toothed filigree shell, drifting up to hover beside her head.

"What do you think?" Echo whispered, shielded eyes fixed on the door.

"Well, it's not a guardian," Whisper said, gyrating her shell. "My scan says it's an awoken, a young man by the looks of it."

"No doubt sent by Petra to flush me out," Echo murmured, her iridescent gill fins pinning back against her neck.

"Hang on, I think he's saying something," the Ghost whispered.

Echo gazed at the door and ruffled her long dorsal fins. If there was one thing she knew it was that she was not opening that door. But then, she didn't need to, did she? Canting her head, the hunter-turned-wish-dragon, lifted her nose, casting an illusion between herself and the young man, a musical illusion.

"What offering?" she asked, her voice drifting with the notes of soft music. "Why do you come to me?"

[dwellordream]

“Military diplomacy was another area of war where noblewomen sometimes took a leading role. The term ‘diplomacy’ in this case refers to negotiations undertaken either to find peace between two warring sides or in order to forge an alliance. Many noblewomen had a significant role to play in the diplomatic process and an interest in successfully completing the negotiation process. However, the limited military role most noblewomen enjoyed meant that in practise female diplomacy in the Middle Ages was affected only by royal, or other similarly highly placed women whose importance, symbolic or otherwise, compelled their inclusion in the negotiations.

Several instances of diplomacy stand out in this regard. During the Investiture Controversy, for example, Matilda of Tuscany pursued diplomacy alongside her military support of the reform papacy. At the Lenten Synod in 1075 she tried to ease tensions in a bitter dispute between Gregory and Censius Stephani, a noted enemy of the reform papacy, by calling for clemency on Censius’ behalf, after he was arrested and sentenced to death. The following year at the Synod of Worms Matilda and Pope Gregory were accused by the Emperor Henry of an overly intimate and improper sexual relationship. Matilda and the pope responded by toning down the frequency of their correspondence and thenceforth only communicating through legates, thus stifling any further allegations of misconduct and illustrating a diplomatic solution by Matilda to another potential source of conflict.

Most well- known of all were Matilda’s efforts in negotiating a truce between pope and emperor at her castle of Canossa in January 1077. The fortress itself and the protection offered by her troops undoubtedly encouraged Gregory to meet with the emperor when he otherwise would not have; moreover, Matilda’s personal efforts to convince the pope to receive Henry after his three day penance outside the gates and her sponsoring of the final agreement played a major part in achieving a peaceful accord.

Noblewomen were also diplomatically active in the French and Anglo- Norman domains. Adela of Blois (c.1067-1137), countess of Blois, Chartres, and Meaux, was known for her efforts in reconciling a conflict between Anselm, Archbishop of Canterbury, and King Henry I in 1104, by arranging a face-to-face negotiation that resulted in their eventual reconciliation. Adela was also active in creating an Anglo-Norman-Thibaudian alliance against Louis VI in the early 1110s, after he threatened Thibaudian autonomy in the Chartrain by revoking castle-building privileges and claiming certain ecclesiastical properties. A few years later Adela played a pivotal role in helping King Henry I’s negotiator Thurstan (Archbishop of York) reach a favourable settlement resolving Henry’s dispute with King Louis.

Blanche of Castile (1188-1252) was likewise active in negotiating treaties that helped to ensure royal power in the north of France while ruling as regent for her son, Louis IX. Among the more notable agreements were the 1229 Treaty of Paris-Meaux between Louis IX and Raymond VII of Saint-Gilles, count of Toulouse, which brought an end to the Albigensian Crusade, and the 1242 Peace of Lorris that essentially confirmed the terms of the 1229 treaty and ended any chance of southern France remaining independent from royal authority. The importance of Blanche’s role in both cases is worth noting: in 1229 Blanche was still regent (Louis’ personal government did not begin until around 1236) and thus her acceptance of the treaty was significant, even though she did not personally negotiate the actual conditions of the treaty, while in 1242 Raymond had Blanche act as an intermediary on his behalf in achieving a final peace with the king.

In England, the Countess Mabel, Robert of Gloucester’s wife, held King Stephen in captivity after his capture at the Battle of Lincoln in 1141, which enabled Robert to bargain for his release after he had himself been captured by Stephen’s forces during the same battle. For her part, Stephen’s wife Matilda of Boulogne was simultaneously active in negotiating her husband’s release.

In the Holy Land noblewomen were also at times an important part of the diplomatic process. Baldwin II’s wife, Morphia, was said by Orderic to have been active in the negotiations for Baldwin’s release from captivity in 1124. Likewise, when in 1152 Queen Melisende found herself under siege in Jerusalem by her own son Baldwin III, who was fighting her for control of the Latin kingdom, she was able – through the mediation of the Church – to secure the city of Nablus and surrounding lands to which she could retire. Evidently, her sixteen years as ruler must have counted for something in the negotiations with Baldwin, for she was able to emerge just a few years later to a position of relative power and freedom in Baldwin’s government.

Occasionally, women in the Holy Land were even said to have attempted diplomacy with Muslims. According to William of Tyre, Melisende’s sister, Alice of Antioch, attempted to send an alleged peace offering to the Muslim leader Zengi, as part of her efforts to gain control of Antioch in the early 1130s, but was unsuccessful. Asbridge has cautioned against accepting the testimony of William of Tyre too uncritically, as no contemporary Muslim accounts mention this offer of peace.

Similarly unclear is the role played by Queen Marguerite (c.1221-1295), wife of Louis IX, whom Louis’ biographer Jean de Joinville portrayed as a dignified, pious, and thoughtful noblewoman, and who was mentioned during the course of Louis’ negotiations with the Saracens following his capture at the battle of Mansourah in April 1250. According to Joinville, the king could not guarantee to his captors that he could pay their ransom because he would have to get the queen to consent to paying it and ‘as his consort, she was mistress of her actions’, although as Hodgson notes, ‘this may have been a bargaining ploy’.

Whatever the case, Marguerite did display some leadership in helping to keep together the Christian forces in the city of Damietta during the king’s captivity by arranging to buy all the food in the city at her own expense, although she was eventually forced to give up the city as part of the conditions of surrender. Medieval noblewomen, therefore, sometimes played an integral part in initiating or indirectly assisting the diplomatic process, even if they were not necessarily the ones who argued and finalised the treaties themselves. As we have seen, their role was often one of intercession or intervention on behalf of other parties, conveying messages back and forth between sides so that opposing enemies did not have to meet face-to-face.

Blanche of Castile’s intermediary role in concluding the 1242 Peace of Lorris and the meeting between Henry IV and Pope Gregory VII sponsored by Countess Matilda were both clear examples of the mediating role noblewomen might assume, but they were not the only noblewomen to perform this function. Phillipa of Hainault, wife of Edward III, was known to have interceded for the burghers of Calais to prevent their execution following Edward’s successful siege in 1347. In a similar way Ermengard, viscountess of Narbonne (c.1127-c.1196/97) helped arbitrate peace on behalf of Count Raymond V of Toulouse when he was in negotiations with one Roger of Béziers in 1171, and again in 1176 when she acted played a mediating or ‘go-between’ role in a separate peace between Raymond and Alfons of Aragon.

Likewise, Jeanne d’Évreux, third wife of King Charles IV of France, and Queen Blanche d’Évreux, second wife of King Philip VI of France, twice interceded on behalf of Charles II, king of Navarre. In 1354 they helped Charles obtain a pardon from King John II of France for Charles’ involvement in the murder of the Constable of France, while in 1357 they helped to reconcile relations between Charles and the Dauphin, (the future Charles V) who was regent of France due to John’s imprisonment in England at that time.

Their success, and that of the other noblewomen cited, is indicative of the impact intercession could have in effectively contributing towards peace negotiations, and as such, they decreased the likelihood of war. Together with women like Adela who forged alliances for their safety, therefore, these women’s actions must be included as a part of medieval military history.”

- James Michael Illston, ‘An Entirely Masculine Activity’? Women and War in the High and Late Middle Ages Reconsidered

[barely-alive-shrimp]

About PSP Jeanne d’Arc ’s historical references

You know, Jeanne d’Arc for PSP is a funny game: while clearly not being very historically accurate (orcs and magical armlets in the Hundred Years’ War? Huh, they don’t tell you about things like that on History lessons), it still contains some interesting nods to history, some of which are quite obscure. I’ve collected some of them, mostly about historical figures and some events that I consider to be most interesting. This is going to be a long post, and there will be some spoilers, but I’ll put a warning so you could skip that part if you haven’t played the whole game yet. Oh, and sorry for any mistakes – I’m not a native speaker, so I hope there won’t be too many of them. I tried my best :P

[Note: I kept referring to her as Jeanne d’Arc here, although, as far as I understand, it is more common to call her Joan of Arc in English. I’ll leave it as it is, if you don’t mind ^^’]

Okay, I think I’ll start with the characters. There are quite a lot of characters who were based off real people: aside from the most obvious ones (Jeanne d’Arc, Gilles de Rais, Henry VI, Charles VII and some others), we have the following (I tried to find some paintings and pictures where possible):

Jean and Bertrand are based off Jean de Metz and Bertrand de Poulengy, who were Jeanne’s trusted allies during the Hundred Years’ War. They both had great respect for Jeanne and escorted her on her journey to the dauphin.

Colet’s prototype is most likely Colet de Vienne, a royal messenger who also escorted Jeanne d’Arc on her way to Chinon. Little is known about him, other than that he was accompanied by an archer named Richard – probably a prototype for Marcel. I guess they changed his name so he won’t be confused with the other Richard, who is also a playable character. By the way, it seems that the name ‘Marcel’ means “little warrior” in French, so if game developers chose that name intentionally (and I think they did), that’s a very nice little touch!

Étienne de Vignolles, more known as La Hire, was among France’s best commanders and was one of Jeanne d’Arc’s most trusted allies. Described as quite an arrogant man, he was a fearsome warrior and fought alongside Jeanne at Orleans and during the Battle of Patay. You can also find this prayer of his: “God, I pray Thee that today Thou wilt do for La Hire that which Thou wouldst have La Hire do for Thee, if he were God and Thou wert La Hire.” – perhaps, much like his in-game version, he did have a habit of talking about himself in the third person.

Richard was probably based off Brother Richard, a Franciscan monk who knew Jeanne. I couldn’t find any other information about him, though, except for this design for an opera.

The next one is a bit of a stretch, to be honest. It seems Bartolomeo does have a historical prototype, but it’s not clear who it was; he may or may not be based off Bartolomeo d'Alviano, an Italian captain who fought on the side of Spain against France. He didn’t have much to do with the Hundred Years’ War, though; moreover, he was born after Jeanne was burned at the stake.  

Robert de Baudricourt was a captain of the royal garrison at Vaucouleurs. When Jeanne d’Arc came to him, saying she has a mission from God and asking for assistance, he was very skeptical at first, but since Jeanne was very persistent, he eventually provided her an escort to visit the Dauphin. The game didn’t change it much.

John Talbot was an English military commander known as “English Achilles” for his bravery. Despite being one of the most feared warriors, he was respected so much that when he was captured, Charles VII released him without asking for ransom.

Sir William Glasdale was an English captain who commanded the troops in the fort Les Tourelles. Jeanne d’Arc wrote a letter to him, pleading him to lift the siege of the fort, but he refused to do so, and Jeanne’s troops started the assault to take Les Tourelles back. During the assault, Glasdale fell into the Loire River and drowned, as his armor was too heavy. 

Both Georges de La Trémoille and Arthur de Richemont were indeed Charles’s trusted servants. Georges also survived an attempt of assassination – as described, “thanks to his obesity”, and, as you can see in the game, the developers had that part in their heads, as well. :) Here’s a picture of Arthur de Richemont, I couldn’t find any paintings of real life Georges de La Trémoille, but I’ll add a picture of his in-game version a bit later.

There’s an interesting detail about Charles VII himself: have you ever looked at his in-game portrait and thought: “Man, they didn’t have to draw him such a big nose”? Well, that’s probably because real Charles VII was actually described as a man with a big nose! That’s another “well done” to the game developers.

As for Bedford – his actual name was John of Lancaster, ‘The Duke of Bedford’ was only his title. I don’t know, maybe that’s obvious, but I spent a good part of walkthrough thinking Bedford was his name. His real name not being mentioned and all the other characters calling him just “Bedford” certainly didn’t help. :P

                                                             * * *

All right, now I’m going to dive into some historical events and characters’ relationships that might spoil some events of the game for you. Please, go to the “SPOILERS END” mark if you haven’t finished the game yet and want to see everything for yourself.

                                                          SPOILERS

  Okay, first of all, the game heavily implies Charles VII had a difficult relationship with his mother, Isabeau of Bavaria. Real life Isabeau of Bavaria claimed that Charles VII wasn’t the trueborn son of Charles VI, thus couldn’t be the rightful king of France, so I doubt the queen loved her son very much. The game tries to explain it with the demonic possession of Isabeau – still, her last words before she was (presumably) killed by Henry VI/Gilvaroth were confusing and quite out-of-nowhere to me.

Georges de La Trémoille disliked Jeanne d’Arc and, as some historians believe, was involved in a plot against her that ultimately led to her death – both in real life and the game. Of course, we all remember that in the game it wasn’t Jeanne who ended up at the stake…

The Battle of Patay (June, 1489) was one of Jeanne d’Arc’s greatest victories during the Hundred Years’ war. In this battle, the feared “Terror of French” John Talbot was finally captured. I’m not sure if this one was intended or not, but this stage in the game is the last time you see Talbot – well, not until he suddenly reappears late in the game, only to help you and never to be seen again. 

Do you remember the part where Liane went overwhelmed with her great power and responsibility (hehe) and tried to recapture Paris by herself? Real Jeanne d’Arc also tried to break the siege of Paris, but the attempt failed and she and her troops were ordered to withdraw. After that, the nobles’ disappointment with her had reached its highest point, and Jeanne’s fate was pretty much sealed – much like Liane’s. 

And, of course, the darkest nod to the history is Gilles de Rais, known as a serial killer and possibly a pedophile (there are some historians who believe he was framed, but that’s not the point for now). On the other hand, in-game Gilles is a nice and noble guy and never betrays you or does something violent. At the end of the game, he sacrifices himself so Gilvaroth would be trapped inside of his body, and, considering the real history, the demon probably got him in the end. This reference is more well-known and has been discussed at several forums, but I still cannot help but mention it. 

Also, on a less disturbing note – see how Gilles is drawn with a lily? That’s because Charles VII allowed de Rais to add this flower on their family crest, which was considered a great honor, as lily symbolized the power of the Crown (that’s what I heard, at least). 

                                                    SPOILERS END

 These are the most interesting historical references of the game, in my opinion. Thank you for reading and feel free to correct me and/or add the details I’ve missed! My DM is closed for now, but you can correct me via reblogs, if you want. ^^