#rambling to be honest

[foldingfittedsheets]

I feel like one of the major ways sex ed failed me was the utter lack of discussion about vaginal discharge. Around 13 I started just… leaking fluids. It was on a set schedule, every day after lunch there’d be an uncomfortable wetness down the front of my underwear.

It was awful. Every movement was wet and cold unpleasantness in my pants. I’d go stuff toilet paper into my underwear and it would pill up and stick to my damp skin. That went on for a year.

I finally discovered panty liners and started wearing them daily, but with the unconscious fear that the overall juiciness of my pussy was unnatural.

I’d read people saying that cotton underwear would dissipate moisture and stop it from being a problem but no amount of natural fibers could evaporate what my crotch was producing. Since that wasn’t enough for me I worried I was abnormal.

I didn’t like wearing panty liners every day. It felt sweaty and wasteful but the alternative was to be wet and miserable. I still worried about it. But when I finally asked a doctor they just asked if it was more than my usual discharge. I said, no, it’s always been this way. They shrugged and assured me that meant my body was behaving reliably. Also if your discharge discolors your underwear that’s also normal cause of chemistry reasons

That reassurance didn’t come until my 20’s.

Finally a few years ago I discovered cloth liners. They’re reusable and clip into the crotch of underwear. I was ecstatic to finally have a non disposable option. I love them. Although the mainstream ones have polyester wings and I��m very excited to try the new all cotton ones I just got off Etsy. I think they were originally intended as light period protection but were robust enough for me.

So if you’ve ever worried about how wet your pussy is: it’s normal. It’s self cleaning, it’s doing what it’s supposed to do. You should worry when the amount changes and if you’re like me check out cloth liners, they’re excellent.

[huginsmemory]

Been thinking about how Bill legitimately had a horrifying reason (the literal progressive disintegration of the nightmare realm that erases whatever it disintegrates from existence completely) to move himself and his crew into a new dimension. Like that's terrifying. And yet he never utilizes this to his favour. He could have been honest about this with Ford, and you KNOW as long as Bill didn't mention plans of overtaking the earth, Ford would've made the portal for him, both out of Ford's own interest and because Ford when faced with these big moral questions will pull through. But this is a card Bill NEVER plays because although he needs to leave the dimension, he cannot lose face. He can't put aside his pride and admit to the humility that he needs to flee from his dimension, that he's not actually all powerful. And so instead he pretends to be a muse and when Ford figures out something else is going on, instead of being open and humble and saying that his dimension is unravelling, Bill focuses on that he's going to over take earth, that he's actually been a monster all along, surprise Ford!

And part of it is definitely because Bill's built himself up on power and violence and to grovel and earnestly ask for help, to admit that he cannot stop the unraveling of his dimension completely invalidates that; showing vulnerability? Can't do that, even under the guise of lying to get his way. And part of it makes you wonder if it's also a form of self-sabotage, because underneath his deep denial Bill is guilty over what he occurred; he sees himself as a monster and so he'll be that monster, and having people recognize that feels good in the same way that pressing a bruise feels good. But it makes you wonder what would've happened if Bill even just was open about his dimension unravelling and had lied about overtaking the earth.

It's also interesting because although Bill has SOME charisma and can manipulate people decently well (as evidenced by his cult, and pandering to people's desires with Ford, Mabel and Blendin), he refuses to be vulnerable, refuses to not be true to his off-putting self, even when if he was just vulnerable of pretended to not be himself, to put aside the (false) pride he has in himself he would've gotten a portal by now. and part of me wonders if it's because it's this false pride that built on insecurity and denial on who he is he cannot drop that mask.

Further thoughts on this!

[lazylittledragon]

i refuse to believe that boycotting is hard. my favourite thing in the world is ordering maccies after a late night at work/a concert/getting drunk. yes i do miss it sometimes. but the other night i ordered from a small place near my house instead and it was the most orgasmic burger i've ever had in my life. i very rarely say this but fucking suck it up people are DEAD

[sweetbunpura]

Yuu: ...

Grim: ...

Rollo: ...

Fellow & Gidel, smiling as they sit in the lounge chair:

Yuu: Crowley.

Crowley: Hmm?

Yuu: What the fuck.

Crowley: You're doing such a great job with Mr. Flamme that I thought you should rehabilitate Mr. Honest and his brother.

Yuu: You gonna pay to rehabilitate them?

Crowley: My my, look at the time. I must be going, bye Prefect! *Leaves and slams the door shut*

Yuu: Everyday I get closer...

Rollo: What are we going to do with him? He's too old for any of the courses, except for his brother.

Grim: Can't he just do what Leona does?

Yuu: Leona is 20, this man is 26.

Fellow: I do know my way around math, Beastmaster Homura.

Yuu: ...can you work out a budget?

Fellow, tail is wagging: Watch me~

[nukacourier]

Okay so I've gotten a couple of comments here and there whenever I complain about the anti-native american sentiment (aka racism) that's baked into Honest Hearts asking "how is it racist??", which I know it's not my job as a native american fallout fan to teach ignorant white people how something is harmful but I'm gonna spell it out anyways because it's annoying when people constantly act blind to it

First of all, the dlc is very heavy handed with the "uncivilized savage" depiction of native americans. The fact that they had to be TAUGHT how to use guns and use their own natural resources to make medicine are already two examples of this right out of the gate

Plus, the fact all the tribe members wear rudimentary hides, hardly speak english, and sleep on the ground without any buildings (where Joshua and Daniel get to wear normal clothes and Joshua has his own work station) are more examples of this troupe (and its especially stupid since iirc a lot of southwestern tribes were known for making buildings that still exist to this day)

This also ties into the white savior troupe, since as said, the Dead Horses and the Sorrows both had to be taught to take care of themselves and have to be protected by another tribe by two white men (Joshua and Daniel), and that they practically worship them for it because they apparently would've died off if these two white guys didn't intervene

This, plus the fact they're both missionaries who are trying to convert the tribes into a Mormonism is downright offensive as Christianity as a whole has been used as a tool to justify committing genocide against us for centuries. Do I even need to explain this?

And speaking of them needing protection, the White Legs themselves are a whole shitty can of worms, falling right into the (what should be) long-dead idea that if we're not stupid mud people, that natives are bloodthirsty, cannibalistic, warring savages (which. Again. Another tool of propaganda used to literally kill us for as long as white people have been here). Which in turn loops back around to the whole white savior thing with the problem of the White Legs only being solved because Joshua uses his mighty hand of God to take them out or whatever. No matter if you try to end the dlc peacefully you STILL have to do that! It's fucked up!

This post is already lengthy and there's a lot of things I haven't covered (such as the native characters in the dlc generally falling into the "noble indian" troupe), but these are the most glaring issues I can come up with from the top of my head

Tl;dr - quit heralding Honest Hearts as the pinnacle of good writing when it's all built off racism. Listen to us native fans for once, please

[caelanglang]

The O(ccasionally)samu D(runk)azai

[iminye]

Sometimes i remember that Círdan is just really fucking ancient and am like actually kinda shocked... like this man has seen almost all of Middle Earth's history, from the shores of Cuiviénen to the second War of the Ring and survived. The only other named elves I can think of right now, who have lived for just as long are Ingwë, Indis and Olwë, but they never returned from Aman. Círdan meanwhile? He just stuck around never having gone to paradise and lived. What a badass. I love him.

[sophsicle]

i do sometimes wonder, if the people who get on your case about not updating, understand the level of work that goes into creating things. like obviously, of course, i understand that i have gone a significant amount of time without updating and i GET it. i do. i just am busy, i don't know what else to say. but like, it is work right? like getting out a chapter a week is essentially like having another part-time job. which is why i've needed to take a break. cause i just don't have the time / energy for another part-time job right now. and i don't mind people asking about when fics will update, i really don't. what i do mind is people being like "REALLY you need this much time??" Like DAMN excuse me. i am doing my best. it takes energy and time to create. and i do that for free in the spaces between all the things that i have to do otherwise. idk. idk what the point of this is. other than being like, you must have never made anything, if you don't understand why sometimes it takes time.

[tojisun]

johnny breaking in your pussy to prepare it for a bigger cock (simon’s) :(

[cointalks]

Thomas really thought he could add in the two anti-iloveyou characters saying I love you and think we'd be normal about it

[tarufai]

[hoshiina]

pairing: hoshina soushirou x gn!reader (no prns)

summary: he still dreams of you and wishes for another chance to make you his, some lines are inspired by hakujitsu by king gnu

warnings: reader is rather lively/bubbly,

notes: TYSM FOR 100 !!!, a/n (yapping) in tags

wc: 1800

Hoshina Soushirou still dreamt of you. Every once in a while, you’d come to visit him in his sleep and it would make him believe that a miracle had occurred, that he had another chance. Every time, he would tell himself that he would never let this go, that he would give it his absolute all this time.

Yet, every time, he would wake up from this dream.

And every time, he would feel his heart drop at the realization of that. He was disappointed, and he knew, but there was no reason to be. It wasn't like anything had happened between the two of you. He liked to believe there was something going on— something more than mere acquaintances or friends, but he knew there wasn't. It must've been all in his head because the last time he had heard of you was before you were moved to the first division. He hadn't heard a single word from you since then, nor has he said anything— but that was just the way it was. There was nothing to do at this point anyway.

He wasn’t with you for all that long, and it was probably just the fact that both of you joined at the same time that naturally started the first conversation. He was far more weary of everything and far less cheerful at the time, and you didn't even work with him most of the time being a researcher, but you didn’t mind that one bit. If you had something you wanted to say, you would tell him and he’d just have to listen. At first, he had no idea why you kept talking to him when he paid hardly any mind, but after a while, he found comfort in your conversations. He had started to look forward to talking to you.

It had only been a few months before the defense force noticed how spectacular your work was and quickly called you over to the first division. There wasn’t a tearful farewell, or even a casual goodbye for that matter. You disappeared along with a cheerful ‘I’ll see you around!’ while you were moving your boxes out and he would hear those words ring in his head for the years to come— in your voice. Yet, at the time, all he could do was force a smile and nod.

It had been so many years since you had moved, he didn’t even know what you looked like now. Probably still stunning. Definitely still stunning. Although he had the chance to see the 1st division officers a lot, you were a researcher who worked behind the scenes. Naturally, there was no reason he'd bump into you, and he didn’t. He never did.

He loved to remember you, but he hated to think about you. He loved to remember the way you would laugh at his silly jokes, the way you would ramble on about the work you had to do daily but would still put in your all, and the way you would always visit him with some cold tea when he trained late into the night if you were still up as well. Actually, he hated thinking about the tea— it would make him start thinking about you. He would think about how you were now, if you were still pilled with work, and if you remembered him.

If he bumped into you, would you remember his name? Maybe if he cracked a lame joke. Maybe if he gave you a few days to think about it. Maybe if he started listing the things you talked about— his most treasured memories. Maybe then you’d say his name again.

See? This is why he hated thinking about you— he had things to be doing.

It wasn't like this happened everyday and it wasn't that big of a deal. It just ruined his day a little when it did happen. So if he had to say, he hated dreaming of you.

As you took over his thoughts again, the emergency alarm started to buzz, as if to tell him to snap out of it. He was thankful, he couldn't still be daydreaming like this.

A smaller-sized identified grade kaiju had appeared near the first division quarters, so the third division was doing more backup work this time. Hoshina was taking care of the smaller kaiju in the vicinity that had spawned from the presence of the honju. It felt nice for him to be doing work, it took his mind off his ramblings and cleared his head. He wasn't too worried about the honju, however. Although it was an identified grade, it wasn't anything they hadn't dealt with before and as much as he liked to tease Narumi about how he was always better at smaller kaiju neutralization, he knew Narumi was extraordinary at what he did.

At least that would have been true for any other kaiju of that size and strength, but Narumi seemed to be struggling far more than expected with this one. From his earpiece, he heard Okonogi notify him that the 1st division was asking to send Narumi some help if possible, and he immediately rushed over.

Yet, by the time he got there, Narumi had already neutralized the kaiju in question, although horribly beat up.

“I don't need your help, Hoshina!” Narumi still managed to yell while on the floor, absolutely bleeding out.

“Oh, shut up, do you want to die?” Hoshina asked. It didn't take an expert to see that Narumi’s condition was concerning.

Narumi soon fell quiet, probably unconscious, while Hoshina found his earpiece lying on the floor near him. He picked it up, hoping it'd connect to the first division just in case they had lost connection to his vitals.

“He's unconscious right now, but he seems to still be breathing. However, he's bleeding dangerously from multiple spots. I think a few ribs might also be broken,” Hoshina said. “There aren't any kaiju nearby at the moment and I'll take care of them if any do come— bring the stretcher right away.”

He waited a moment, but there was no response from the earpiece.

“Hello?” he asked, hoping for a response. After another moment, he heard it.

“Hoshina…?”

It was you. He would still recognize your voice from anywhere. Oh, how he missed you. His eyes were wide and he had nothing to say all of a sudden. You remembered him. You recognized his voice.

You remembered his name.

“Thank you for your report, we lost connection to some of his vitals halfway through. The medics should be there in a few minutes,” you said.

“I'll stand by,” Hoshina said and kept Narumi's earpiece in his ear. He had nothing he wanted to tell you, not one thing in mind, but he wanted to be on the line with you— even in silence. The medics came in a few minutes like you had told him and took care of Narumi right away.

“They got here, he should be fine now,” Hoshina said, as if you didn't already know. He just wanted something to say to you.

“I missed working with you,” you said and he couldn't believe his ears. Perhaps he'd wake up from this dream again. Perhaps he'd open his eyes and be utterly disappointed again. But he knew there wasn't even a hint of romantic affection in your words, just the respect you've always had for the work he did, and how you missed doing this job with him. And he did too.

“Yeah, I did too,” he said. “I still do.”

You chuckled a little and he could still picture you smiling. “That made my entire year,” you said. “Probably not the time for this, but we should catch up sometime. If you don't mind, of course.”

Made your year. What did you mean by that? And If he didn't mind? Oh, you didn't know how many times he's dreamed of this day.

“I'd love to,” he said. While he was a little embarrassed to imagine the rest of the first-division team hearing this conversation, that was not going to stop him. He'd be an absolute fool to let this chance go. He has promised himself to give it his all this time.

“Are you seeing anyone?” he asked quietly.

“Sorry?” you asked, hoping he'd repeat that. You heard it, but you were afraid you were so delusional you were starting to hear things. Your heartbeat quickened and you waited patiently, hoping it wasn't all in your head.

“Do you have a lover?” he asked a little more clearly, but obviously still nervous and flustered. You had never seen him like this, ever.

“No,” you replied, a little too quickly. “I do not.”

Relief washed over him and he felt his heartbeat quicken. Oh, thank goodness you didn't have access to his vitals. He was going to make you fall for him somehow.

“…do you?” you asked quietly, after a moment.

“Me?” he asked. “No, I don't.”

“I see,” you said, but he could hear the soft delight in your voice. He would never miss it.

Perhaps he'd just go for it. There was nothing for him to lose at this point, and he had made his feelings plenty obvious already. If you didn't want him, he'd just try again. He's tried countless times in his dreams already, what's a few more?

“But I'd love to be yours,” he said and heard you gasp quietly. That one he couldn't read. Was that a little too bold? Far too sudden?

“Did I hear that right?” he faintly heard you scream, asking your fellow first division coworkers. That made him laugh, you hadn't changed one bit. “I’ve loved you forever, Hoshina.”

There was absolutely no way. He was going to wake up soon, he just knew it. Well, might as well indulge in the dream for now, then.

“I've definitely loved you for longer,” he said.

“Hoshina, I'm going to kill you if this is a dream,” you said, and that caught him off guard. Yet, even that sounded nice to him, and that made him smile. He'd get to see you, at least.

But it wasn't a dream. The way your voice fluttered his heart could never be felt through a dream. The way your laugh filled his soul could not possibly make him feel so warm through a mere dream.

“I cannot wait to see you,” you said softly, your voice so full of love it made him melt.

He couldn't either, but that wasn't exactly what he had on mind this entire time.

“And I cannot wait to kiss you.”

[some-pers0n]

I think so much about the tragedy of Arctic and Foeslayer. They were both young, newly adults who were sick and tired of living under the oppressive rule of their mother's. They wanted freedom and peace from it. When Foeslayer and Arctic found each other and found common ground with their desires to escape their lives, they fell in love; both with each other and with the idea of running away from their family. That the other was their way out of their pre-determined life. That they had some control and now's the chance to run.

They weren't thinking and were running off of blind admiration and a dream of no longer being bossed around. They didn't know that their actions would bring forth a war. I think when the initial euphoria of being free wore off and the reality of the situation sunk in is when they realized they weren't so much in love with the other as they were with the concept of escaping their miserable lives.

But, here they are together. Dragons are dying because of their impulsive actions. They have two dragonets they have to raise. Each passing day they can't stand each other more and more. It was doomed to fail. A tragedy in every sense of the word

[corviddrawsstuff]

BREAKING NEWS: local fish guy is in da wata!!

[aingeal98]

Cass would be the absolute worst person to swap scar stories with like imagine the batkids hanging out and comparing old bullet wounds. A few jokes about dying, a few brags about situations that were terrifying at the time but they survived so they get to turn it into a cool story now. And just when Damian is finishing up dragging Jason for shooting him that one time Cass finally chimes in, pointing to a scar on her shoulder.

"This one's from my dad when I was around 5. I was fighting twenty mercinaries but it was getting too easy so he shot me to teach me to always be on guard."

One long awkward silence commences. The mood of the room is officially lowered right down from light to somber. No one knows how to fix this until Cass speaks up again, this time pointing to a scar on her chest.

"This one's from when Tim and I faked my death."

And now everyone is both sad and extremely confused. Except for Tim who will thankfully take over and steer the conversation onto a lighter topic: Faking each other's murder, his and Cass's favourite sibling bonding activity

[sweetbunpura]

So all students of NRC have to go through a physical...including those who transferred here and to the ones now attending. Chestnut has his work cut out for him as he calls them in.

Rollo:

Chestnut, after the exam and sighs into his hands: Oh my seven, you're just like Rosehearts and Shroud.

Rollo, frowns: I can't be that bad-

Chestnut: You are underweight and have an iron deficiency. What are you eating?

Rollo: ....cafe au lait and 2 croissants...

Chestnut: What else?

Rollo: And 16 grapes...

Chestnut: Is that all you eat?

Rollo: ....

Chestnut: Someone get me Miss Homura!

Fellow and Gidel:

Chestnut, staring at the two: ....

Fellow: Are we....good?

Chestnut: Not in the slightest.

Fellow: I can't get that bad-

Chestnut: Oh it's bad.