#quite a lot of projection here
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Party of one (divided into four)
#Fourfold Soul#Thing#QUIT#Ruth#Jolis#Finally I can offer some character names!#digital art#I have been hard at work in the character design mines for nearly two months.#I feel like a parent watching my child waddle off to kindergarten....ah...only yesterday you were a wee little mspaint sketch.#The title of 'Fourfold Soul' comes from the 'party' for this RPG being comprised of parts of yourself!#They all have a delightful array of personalities; and by delightful I do mean 'They are personal demons for a reason'.#It's a story about fighting alongside (and against) 'difficult' aspects of yourself.#This is also a story about redemption and reflection. Many other things too - but that is for another time.#(The clown pictured here is indeed the ignored clown from the last comic. Say hello to Jolis!)#If I had more time I would have added more animation and frames...next time...#I'm slowly getting back into my animation practice and experimentation. I will get more powerful! I promise!#Thank you all so much for all the love and support you have shown this project so far!#I was terribly nervous about posting the previous comic...the kindness it was met with meant a lot B'*)
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original thief series basso & garrett :)
ngl, it's about quality over quantity for me. an npc can have a total of three minutes of screen time, but if they have a cool name, they can live rent free in my head and I'll spend several hours trying to decipher drawable features from a blurry screenshot of pixels
there is a vague hint of a story here, and that's because every time I try to play thi4f, I get incredibly frustrated with how Not Fun the game play is. like, is the story good? well. but it has a PLAGUE. that should've given it instant 'I'll replay this once a year' status in my heart, but the game play sucks so bad that I've never finished it. I can't believe Not Fun gameplay beat out my obsession with narrative plagues.
anyway, the idea is basically if the original era had a game with a plague centric narrative and some other stuff I liked out of thi4f thrown into a narrative blender, with a heavy dash of horror thrown in because some parts of the thief games were scarier to me than entire dedicated horror genre games.
⭐ places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app
#if i had a laptop and the skillset i would attempt a story mod because the thief modders who create whole mission stories#are GENIUS and also somewhat terrifying. love them! xoxox#anyway im actually kind of obsessed with parts of thi4f but its also like. not at that sweet spot of almost good enough to be fun#to talk about. which. for the record. has not stopped me from talking about it at length to people#the city itself actually fucking fascinates me. its almost alive and im SO mad that not a single part of that game is actually terrifying#it should be gnarlier and instead it feels a bit like it doesn't quite want to be trapped in the story it has to tell?#but between the level that has the bodies on the meathooks#and the scene with the bodies hanging from the rafters or whatever that was and garrett living in a clock tower#because the game is very much ALMOST about changing times and authoritarian violence and capitalism#(like. by virtue of how the story sort of spins out i think it misses it's mark on a lot of stuff here#in the sense that i dont feel like it actually wants to tell that story. it wants to. go in a different direction. or at least walk on top#of those themes instead of through it)#ANYWAY between all of those things. it does kind of live in my head rent free. they did create a compelling setting#SHAME THEY DIDNT WANT TO ACTUALLY EAT ANY OF IT#unrelated but i would've given thi4f a 10/10 if they kept garrett's fucking nail polish from the concept art. cowards. unforgivable#thief the dark project#i still have no idea how to tag the game series as a whole RIP#sorry for the dedicated dark project fans. if you know what the general series tag is. please let me know#garrett thief#basso thief
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Trying to decide if I want Avery as a medical doctor or a university professor in my Sea and Sky AU… I’m honestly leaning teacher, but, um. Both have their. Charms. ////
#I almost didn’t share this tbh because it’s such a mess#but this is all I have time for so…#oh well#I’ve really been thinking about Finn and my other characters I don’t use as often lately#there’s this comic I want to make but it just seems so daunting#and I’ve honestly been really emotionally erratic the past few days#scribbly tickles really… get me through shit… I mostly do this when I know I can’t put forth my best effort for things I care about more#like meaningful projects and art trades#I know it probably seems like lighthearted scenes means that I’m not struggling#but I really struggle more than I let on sometimes#and I think I actually do let on quite a lot and probably more than I should#I’m kind of a mess of a person at times#I’m okay - honestly#I wish I could be cool and aloof and inscrutable… temper how much I love people and how much I share#but I’ve always played with an open hand and I don’t know how to be any other way#anyway#tickle tags#that’s what I’m supposed to do here#fluffyart#tickling#lee!finn#compliance trope#tickling art#tickle art#avery nimbus#tickle#sea and sky au
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dance among the stars
#tower of god#the 25th bam#khun aguero agnis#my art#digital art#khunbam#artists on tumblr#hi all#been pretty quiet#thats bc im working on a medium-sized project thats taking up a lot of my drawing energy#Im pretty excited for it#But i noticed i havent posted something here in a while and i quite like this doodle#so here
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first proper comic i've ever made! this is for my fic rainspeak; treat it as a bit of a "deleted scene" that takes places right after chapter 13
i never wrote anything from reigen's pov during the last few chapters bc 1) i wanted to focus on the kids, and 2) i'm not totally confident in my ability to write something compelling from that pov w those circumstances. so here's a comic instead <3
#qkdraws#yes i am insane#pls don't look at the roads. idk how to draw roads i did my best#like i said this is my first ever attempt at a comic so if the pacing is off or the paneling is mediocre uhm . go look at professional art#idk why ur here if ur lookin for someone experienced in comics. i am not ur guy#mob psycho 100#mp100#reigen arataka#mp100 reigen#the main thing i was worried abt w this project was getting burnt out in the middle#and also consistency between pages#hope to god it all like . connects well. (TIP: DON'T LOOKAT THE ROADS!!!!!!!!)#anyway i learned quite a lot from this ! projects like this r a rly cool learning experience#i despise backgrounds so im rly glad i managed to hide them most of the time either by dumb luck w speech bubbles#or metaphorical tunnel vision nonsense#if this post flops i think ill cry <3#tw decapitated head#tw decapitation#tw dead body#tw blood
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*holds you by shoulders*
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE THING ABOUT 1082 I WAS SURE IT WAS SHIPPY THING AND NOW I NEED TO KNOW
*starts sobbing while slowly falling to my knees*
…….please
I SAW THIS YESTERDAY NIGHT WHEN I WAS ABOUT TO FALL ASLEEP AND I JUST WOKE UP EARLY TO REPLY BECAUSE I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR AGES FOR THIS QUESTION I AM GOING TO KISS YOU ANON-
I do love and adore the shippy part of 1082 because I am a very intense Shuggy shipper and I had been waiting to read their break-up for sooo long. But it's not exactly what made the chapter life-changing for me, tbh.
Buggy's speech is... Is incredibly beautiful and encouraging. It explains so much about his character, the dynamic he has with Cross Guild, and why he's so resentful toward Shanks. Throughout the manga, we've seen him in serious moments, yes, but usually, Buggy is pretty much used for comedy relief more than anything. This is one of the first times we've seen Buggy realize the position he has now and say "Fuck it. Already on the verge of dead for these two, might as well do something with this shitty situation because for once, I have the opportunity to be brave and be more than what people think of me". There's literally nothing stopping him right now, and he prefers to risk his life enraging Crocodile and Mihawk than letting this opportunity of showing who he truly is slide.
And tbh, we haven't seen them ever since (I am starving please-) but I am really hopeful his speech somehow makes Crocodile and Mihawk have a little tiny itty bitty of respect for him at least. Because out of the three? Buggy is the one who deserves the title of pirate more.
Mihawk and Crocodile don't have dreams or ambitions and see pirating as a business. Even when Crocodile did have ambitions (remember when the silly rubber guy destroyed all of his dreams that was a funny arc haha) his whole personality has always been more of a mafioso than anything. Mihawk is a simple man and is bored with life being at the top of the top, he clearly wants something interesting to happen but doesn't see any use in looking for it himself. They care about their commodities and wealth. But out of the three, Buggy is the one who had to give up on his dream and now he has the opportunity to fulfill it.
"How can you call yourselves pirates with schemes like that?! You're doing it all backwards!! [...] Way back when... What did you guys want to be?! [...] I wanna be king of the pirates!! Wealth? Power? Why stop there when we can have it all?!"
This is something a real pirate would say. He talks like Roger here, I am going to curl up and cry don't look at me-
What I like about One Piece is the constant use of themes like dreams and freedom etc, etc... That's something we all know. But you wouldn't expect it coming from Buggy, of all people. And I think I'm pretty fond of him being brave and finally acting upon what he truly wants to do. What makes it great is that you have this comedy relief character standing up for his dream in front of clearly two other antagonists that have control over him in, well, strength and everything. But Buggy has something they don't and it's so, so much ambition and a dream that could be considered childish but it's the representation of freedom and doing things because you want to follow your heart. This is kind of why I always say Luffy would be more fond of Buggy if he knew the whole story and would probably support him a lot--
What I like the most about this chapter is both Buggy's character development through a speech + flashback and Mihawk and Crocodile being completely stunned by it because they weren't expecting this to happen from Buggy of all people. I know I sound like a broken record but I really, really, want them to respect Buggy a little bit more after this. Also, Buggy doesn't do this only to announce he's going to follow his dream now that he's on equal footing with Shanks. He does it because the other two mention needing overwhelming power over the rest. Buggy isn't stupid and knows how manipulating people works. The thing that makes pirates work harder isn't money, it's a dream. And there's nothing a pirate desires more than the One Piece, so that's kind of why he announces it publicly. First, to establish power, and second, so that way Mihawk and Crocodile don't get rid of him because seriously, Buggy is a better boss than these two because their followers appreciate him and don't feel forced to follow him.
Not to mention that the whole thing also shows more of Buggy's relationship with Roger and how left out he felt because people thought highly of Shanks instead of him. But Buggy, even if he was jealous, was willing to follow Shanks despite his feelings because he accepted being less worthy of respect than him. Shanks shone brightly and Buggy decided that, even if he wanted to be seen like that too, he'd give up on his dream and support Shanks instead because at least they'd do this together, just the way they did everything back at the time.
But then Shanks hesitates, and I think that's Buggy's last straw because he sees giving up going for the One Piece as something disrespectful to their captain (dad) and thinks it's unfair that Shanks is so respected by everyone even though the one wanting to follow their captain's steps right away is him. It's honestly frustrating. And then you understand better why Buggy is angry at Shanks-- Yeah, he made him eat the devil fruit and lost the map because of him (not really but whatever), but the way I see it that's just a metaphor for the real reason why Buggy is so resentful. Shanks' existence, even if it was not on purpose, made Buggy feel so powerless he gave up on his dream. And eating a devil fruit means the sea hates you and you can't have any independence in the pirate world, and losing the map is kind of like losing the only thing that guides you. He left Buggy with nothing and let him carry the burden of a lost dream.
This is funny because Shanks did absolutely nothing wrong and everything is a product of jealousy and miscommunication, but I understand why Buggy blames Shanks and this chapter makes it clearer and explains it perfectly.
Basically, it's such an amazing chapter for Buggy's character and it's definitely my favorite for him specifically. Although the flashback does wonders for my Shuggy heart.
Also, adding more points for the revolutionary plot in the end and Sabo showing up because I adore him <3
#also for people who have given up on their dreams because their ex bff was better at fucking everything and now they feel worthless#this is their roman empire okay#definitely not projecting haha this has absolutely nothing to do with me relating to buggy here i swear#i love him quite a lot <3#i could talk more about this chapter tbh this is a summary and mix of my thoughts but uhhh yeah i don't want to write a whole book rn#but this is my dearest most favorite and precious chapter#also sabo is really cute with koala at the end and i appreciate that a lot#one piece#buggy the clown#shuggy#op chapter 1082#cross guild
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my favourite writing device is having an un-Rei-liable narrator
#rei#volo#cheren#// tikposting#// character meta#the crowd booes me off the stage#forgive the pun XDDD his name is too easy to pun on#the way i write it it's not a conscious choice. it's just how the pov character (rei) experiences and contextualises the world#revealing backstory and personality and mindset through narration !!!!#not necessarily out of malice it's just. how he views things#interpreting new and foreign experiences through the lens of what came before...#conversations which read differently to different people.#in the context of rei that's stuff like unease around authority figures#always choosing his words carefully to project an image of competence (he has to be needed)#distrust and not taking things at face value but also paradoxically a fragile and nurtured sense of almost blind optimism#when it comes to friendships. like volo. (everyone turned on me when the sky turned red but it all resolved itself in the end didn't it?)#(what makes this different? / a lot of things. / i choose to believe)#volo [directly]: “i won't be stopped from my goal” rei thoughts: we can work with this!!!!#and everything with Arceus too and his divine blessings and a plan that will work out in the end#if Rei can just... figure out what part he's meant to play. interpreting events as a narrative hurtling towards some unknown conclusion#i am talking about rei here specifically but this writing device is so good in general#would be fun to try get inside volo's head. there's so much going on there i don't understand yet#quite fond of that one analysis post about how volo lacks emotional intelligence and sees relationships as transactions#not necessarily out of malice it's just how he views things. whether because of past experience or brain chemistry#also need to give a shout to cheren my guy who is an outsider pov who projects his own experiences onto new things so that he Understands#(an outsider to Hilbert and N's clash of truth and ideals. life changing experience and knowledge but felt just a little off to the left)#(the narrative repeated again with new heroes. all he can do is help them but it falls on their shoulders in the end)#(no wonder he tries to insert himself into Situations)#anyway tag ramble over feel free to also ramble to me about your takes XD#rei pokemon
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some traditional doodle crap I lazily drew over. not gonna finish this one it's just silly :^P
#pizza's pics#digital doodle#digital sketch#stuilly#idk#have a ton of projects to continue working on rn lol. here's whatever this is for now#lots of mlp stuff. since i'm almost finished w/the g4 series i've also got quite a few crossover AUs going(they're just so fun tbh)#still into scream. still into saw. just also happen to be revisiting my tf2 & venture bros interests at the same time lmao#some users complain abt having too many favorite stories/subjects at once. lately it's been a little easier for me to go w/the flow!#i love dark chocolate marshmallow pumpkins btw. one of my favorite halloween candies <3
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My fourth wall OCs! ♥ (Patreon)
I tried to put everything in the tags but ended up being too long-winded lol, so here it is instead!
For this year’s big behind-the-scenes project, I realized I haven’t given colour references to a lot of my 4th Wall characters! There are...a surprising proportion of femboys who are aware of their existence here now that I look at it lol - I mean technically only Cory and Mint count there but that's still 2/8 - a fourth is kind of a lot! Their sizing is pretty funny to me as well, Cory’s proportions make everyone else look tiny by comparison, he’s just got a very large eye! Set right next to Gijat too, Vortians are so compact - he’s fully grown he’s an adult he’s just small!
Okay, for actuals now, starting left-to-right - while they’re obviously organized by height, it's funny because Cure is also the oldest by creation date. She's front of the line on everything! How silly. She's larger than your average plush bear but only by a little - just enough to be like Mildly intimidating if she approached haha. Puntable - and yet unpuntable lol. It's not just her being the oldest of the lot that makes her more powerful (although that is a contributing factor - she’s aware of her status both in and out of character!). It's not just Kids Rules either since she was made such a long time ago - y'know like ''Oh yeah well my character is [very powerful for X reasons]'' - although yes Also That lol. She's a Fourth Wall OC down to her roots, always intended that way - not everyone here can say that!
Tala also has that edge! Though in a very different way haha - she's also the only one here with a physical counterpart, which is fun :D Means she can go on “actual” adventures and bring that knowledge back with her cartoon versions - both are as real as the other! I keep forgotting her bow, agh, I need to take some more pictures of her sometime so my mental picture of her is more up to date haha
I guess my blankslate HF expression kind of counts?? Lol, it’s mostly for funsies, they’re more like a Concept As Person so?? Sure lol, With Accessories of course lol - haven’t been fighting it much lately so that’s all for now ♪ I wonder if they’ll stay so lucky in the near future hmmm
Gijat! ♥ He ended up being an accidental fourth wall character actually haha, he wasn’t designed with that in mind! He's not meant to know such things, but he did fairly well with it while he was part of the main rotation :) He was designed to be a story character but he ended up being my favourite comfort character so he got a few glimpses out <3 He hasn't for a while though! He's been retired for a long while actually - he's the second oldest character in the lineup after Cure but she had more staying power, sorry Gi <3 I did draw his fairy version not all That long ago tho! It’s hard to let go of anyone for Too long haha
Cory ♥ My sweet special boy <3 He's also the third oldest here! He was the first one to assert himself as a fourth wall OC haha ♪ Cure didn't really congeal into an OC for a long time - she stayed a concept and Gijat was on accident - whereas Cory purposefully and clearly looked outward from the start. He Has a story but it's never been all That developed - he has some non-4th Wall character-friends but his main focus is other, unrelated characters. He's always been very interested in other OCs, a lot of which stems from Bar actually haha - he and Bar are near-contemporaries - they're both featured here for a reason haha
Mint >:| He's...fine. He was inspired from a weird source and has therefore always Been weird - and also asserted himself like Cory. Same story - he has canon story elements but for the most part he's interested in others! Usually in a Pursuit kind of way, and not just limited to my OCs >:/ He needs to behave himself is what - he also has like 1000 outfits and they rarely repeat, ugh, pick one! I wasn’t familiar with the eGirl aesthetic at the time I made him, but he 100% fits it, look at him in his elf ears and heterochromatic contacts smh. I don’t actually know his real eye colour, or hair colour! He wears contacts and dyes his hair and won’t tell me, he even started dating a non-4th wall character without asking! He’s a real wild card
Erase is probably the babiest of the list despite Tala being newer and younger - everyone else was made before Erase! They’ve had had less screen time and less development than everyone else too.They're an incredibly light and oddly harmless fourth wall presence lol for all the danger They pose in Their story :0 They're fairly polite all things considered. They actually have a degree of respect for the fourth wall - unlike Some people (Mint) - probably from acknowledging The Player/Character vs. developer. If there's a hierarchy capable of being distinguished then Erase is going to place Themself in the safest spot. Y'know - to cause problems from lol. I do need to play with Them more - They're fun! But fun isn't quite enough to be full-fledged Interesting just yet, more to do, more to do
It's almost unfair to have Erase right next to Bar lol - possibly my most Interesting OC of all time. First created in 2015 quite soon after Cory, even in the same notebook! He retired in 2017, I think? 2018 at the latest - and then was revived in 2020 and has been here again since. And that's just his timeline! Not counting everything that went into him character-wise. Obviously my sonas don't count as 4th wall OCs because y'know - they're me - but Bar falls kind of unclear of the line between OC and sona, he's always been a weird one. He was initially meant to be an RP character and then over time he developed into a 4th wall OC/sona of a Kind. Nowadays he's a fully-fledged 4th wall OC by design - his change in design from his 2020 revival was meant to represent his transformation thereof - but he's always been weird! If I had to pick a character that I’d consider “overdeveloped” or put too much of myself in - even more than some of my sonas - it'd be him. He's one of my favourites because of that but it's hard to quantify how exactly I feel about him haha. I love him! It's painful! He's great! He's awful! He's very important to me and he'll never return to being what he was first created for again. I do quite like his new design <3 Paying homage to the video that sent him crashing back into relevance for me haha
It was fun to draw everyone :D And it's nice that they all have colour references now! Mint has definitely been the longest without one, everyone else has had at least Something - even Erase! And They're way newer! I did make Mint in a couple online dollmakers but that's not quite the same thing haha, he really needs his clothes hand-drawn :P
It's good to have them all :) They're a fun bunch and I like all of them <3 I think it’s kinda funny and a little strange how few crossovers they’ve had with each other though! So far it’s really only been Tala-Bar-Cory - the rest are aware of each other but haven’t really met, how strange, considering what they are!
#My art#Original#Would definitely recommend opening in a new tab on this one lol#This year's Requestober warmup project!#I actually ended up finishing everything well before the end of the season so I had to cast around for a few smaller things to do haha#But if anything I'm quite pleased that something of this size was able to be done so quickly!#It does help that my 4th wall OCs are some of my favourites haha - they get invited out! Or push themselves there >:P#I don't mind with Cory but Mint smh#I don't Really mind with Mint either pft but I do like to give him a hard time - he's a troublemaker!#On top of the high proportion of femboys there's also a lot of troublemakers in here - some of these interactions would be explosive lol#I do think it'd be fun to have them all meet up a bit more! Cure showed interest in Mint not too long ago#And Cory loves everyone haha he's actually very good about all that - he's kind of like a foster parent welcoming new rescues hahaha#He's always been like that <3 It's why he gets a birthday celebration most years good boys deserve good birthdays#I think Gijat would probably be overwhelmed by most everyone haha he really wasn't built to interact with others outside of his own story#And his fairy version probably hates me so there's that lol#He's good with kids tho! He could probably chat with Tala and they'd both be alright :)#Bar as usually snapping up any spare screentime and focus - gotta talk about him! Pft ♪#He's fairly chill thankfully - a little standoffish but that's to be expected really#Now that I think of it I drew Cory holding a tiny Bar when they were first contemporaries - I could do the opposite now!#Bar throws off the scale of everyone else so much haha <3#Goods lads ♥
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i've been thinking a lot about the word "representation" and what it means and how it's changed over the last few years, particularly when it comes to the writing/publishing landscape but also in movies and tv shows… and i really don't like it anymore. to be clear, of course i think it's important to have diversity in your work, i'm not saying i hate the concept of representation. but i do really dislike the way it's used now, and i really just hate the word itself
in a broader sense it's just become a marketing tool. i'm not impressed by any publisher or author who just describes their book by listing all of the minorities/identities the characters represent as if that should be enough. it feels very gross, very exploitative and disingenuous. it also really bothers me because it's always marginalized identities- which i understand Why, but it feels very othering to me (and again. Very exploitative as an advertisement). you would never list out "cishet able-bodied white man" as a character description to pat yourself on the back over. so why do it to everyone else? why insinuate that one is the "default" and the other one is "special"? (and when i say this i'm mainly talking about advertisements/marketing. i understand why people would specify about characters in descriptions with the plot, but i don't like to see an ad that's just "this book has gay people!" with nothing else)
which then leads me to my other point, which is that a lot of people treat "representation" as if it's "too hard." like "oh i don't know enough to write about that, i don't have that experience, etc" which is a fair way to feel! however… it's weird that people only say this about writing trans characters or characters of color. i'm writing a story right now with a character who is really into motorcycles. i personally do not know that much about motorcycles, so i researched what parts are what & what different kinds of models there are & what basic bike care looks like. i guarantee Most people will have to google something at some point in their writing process. so what's the problem? it also, again, feels very othering when authors treat certain groups of people as "impossible" to write, "too hard" to understand. they are just.. people. you write them as a person. and then you figure out the rest later.
and i think part of the refusal or fear to write something outside of your experience is because of the way representation is treated as So Special. these characters are So Special that they aren't allowed to be anything other than "representation." they're Not allowed to be characters with complex emotions and interesting motivations, they have to just be Trans or Gay or Disabled or whatever. they're not allowed to be people. which means, at the end of the day, we loop right back around to where we were at the start….
there is bad representation. there are depictions of certain marginalized people that are harmful and that are damaging, i'm not trying to minimize that or argue against it at all, in fact we should all be mindful of that while writing and reading. but i also think it's possible to swing too far in the opposite direction as well and put certain groups of people on a pedestal and not allow them to do anything at all but be Perfect Representation, if that makes sense.
#anyways. is this anything#sorry i dont have anything insightful to say at the end here i just wanted to ramble#especially abt the way ppl market books now it like. genuinely disgusts me#cannot imagine marketing tnp in that way. my characters are many things AND they are trans. and their transness#is not just a flashy feature for attracting attention#also i do understand the fear of 'getting it wrong' but that's why you have beta readers or even actual sensitivity readers#that's why you ask for feedback. especially in this space like... people will give it#that's what makes sharing your process and early draft in this community so rewarding#and there's also just the reality that no matter what you do some people will Not like it 🤷#and ime a lot of ppl look at representation very individualistically#as in it's only good representation if it represents Me#which sucks. and you're never going to please those people#ANYWAYS also to be clear this is not a vague or meant to be targeted at any one person please don't be fucking weird#this is just some thots i've had recently esp since ive seen the representation conversation pop up quite a few times#and since i've been doing research for characters in my other project#personal
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as a little treat i am sharing with you little Aya doodles I've done over the last few days to unwind ww just little expressions based on lines in-game because those are always fun to draw. nothing too special just biscuit
it's Aya because upon doing bizarrely throughout playthroughs of the game for still unspecified project purposes I've gained a soft spot for her she's my daughter now my mental tier list on my favorite characters is so confusing right now
#re:kinder#fanart#aya re:kinder#aya hibino#i state shes my daughter NOW because before i didnt pay too big of a mind to her#but honestly in each different playthrough of this game i gain new appreciation for each character#because fun fact ryou was my favorite character at first just because he seemed nice and was a healer and was nice#second playthrough brought in rei and shunsuke in my mind because they ate it up wirh their roles in the story#meanwhile as time passed yuuichi started to grow on me as i realized he was a little too relatable BASICALLY THINGS LIKE THAT#and spoilers for the unspecified project mentioned in the text just because i feel like it#i also did this because having a transcript of every line just spurred me on becquse of how easy it made things#its much more fun to start doing these kind of line based doodles when you dont have to manually go througj hours of gameplay to find stuff#so just being ablr to ctrl f through a document made me very glad HEUEHEHEBEHR#im still working on it it needs proofreading and polishing on some sides but overall it should be here soon i hope#if anyones interested in it do let me know HUEHEHEBRB i will post it regardless but it would be nice to know if anyone is interested#ANYWAY#as to why Aya seems to have a purse when her sprite doesnt its because her equipment mentions her carrying a yellow pouch#its meant to be that!!!#she looks very goofy with it on made me giggle ngl#(as in. amusement)#it adds more interest to her visual design so its nice to have it there im glad its there#OH YEAH SOME COMMENTARY ON ONE OF HER LINES HERE THAT REALLY PIQUED MY INTEREST#if sayaka dies and shes there to see it (thus. you chose to bring her with you) she has this line#where it implies that shes afraid of dying which makes things sad when she's suicidal#she already states i think her desire is more to disappear than to die exactly but even then it's quite sad#like even if she wants to disappear with how gloomy she's feeling and all the things going around with her parents#shes just a little girl who doesn't want to die😭😭#it really adds a sense of realism to how depression is tackled in game at least for me#that when one is depressed and suicidal a lot of the time it's the wish for this state of suffering to end rather than to actually die#SUCH A GOOD CHARACTER ITS ONE OF THE THINGS THAT UPPED MY APPRECIATION FOR HER
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Captain yells in the abyss about cosplays and broken dreams 🙃
Curse my hobby for 15 years having been cosplay and my college degree also having been costume making because I very much still have the "maker's mindset" despite having no energy to actually commit to cosplay for the past 2 years. The pandemic killed my enthusiasm for convention-going for obvious reasons, and I took up drawing digitally. However I still approach new media with crafting costumes in mind, thinking about what outfits would be fun to pour hours into making a reality, browsing fabrics and materials (and occasionally buy things whoops), and frequently daydreaming about having fun at conventions again along with doing cool photoshoots.
My last large WIP was Mother Miranda and there's still months of work to be done before she's wearable. Never finished my Angie doll for my Donna cosplay either. I do still want to finish MM after 2 years tho... EXCEPT NOW THAT DAMN CRAFTING BUG IS TRYNA BITE ME AGAIN WITH AGATHAAAAA
Goddddd I want to make that 1950s dress so bad! It'd be so cute to dressin black and white, to painted up to look like I walked out of the show. And that sexy frock coat... UGHHHH. THE DESIGN IS SO RIDICULOUS WITH THE BACK BUT I WANT IT. I WANT TO PATTERN THAT STUPID SEXY SHIT.
But with everything... do I impulsively try to make things before my ADHD fucks off and I get bored, or keep waiting to see if the desire fades all while dying to give in? And... do I even have the energy to try anymore without my chronic illnesses keeling me over while I barely juggle extra work shifts and life? 😭
#I want to do so many things in life and just... every facet of my life is limited by illnesses. It SUCKS.#I haven't had the energy to draw much lately either even tho I want to#And obviously if I start up cosplay again my drawing time will go way down. I can't win here.#I want to jump back in to costuming but the percent chance I don't finish yet another project is insanely high. I mean astronomically so.#Drawing WIPs are free to abandon but costume WIPs cost money and sometimes quite a lot! And I've had numerous cosplays I've abandoned befor#Sighs... all this turmoil and for what? I'm so weak and tired all the time just trying to keep up with normal people
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Under the cut are mostly self-insert doodles of decreasing quality. Again, not much directly tied to Team Fortress 2. Might as well toss these out while I have no access to my puter. Much yapping under the cut and in the tags incoming.
Another self-insert, this time less of a "here's me as a tenth class" and more of a "here's my game experiences translated into the class I would take the place of". The Cleaner. Although I guess they could still be wearing either suit. It doesn't matter that much.
That one Convict's Case taunt with Backup would be extremely funny, because the man would be on the verge of a breakdown (he does not want to go to jail so bad you have no idea). The second image- I owe no explanation. You know what I am. You see the pattern with my favourites.
The duality of the man. Resting face versus "just heard you express interest in religion/Russian folklore" face. He's not that hard to make friends with, when you pull him away from all the explosions.
Some doodles of trying to figure his face out. Unfortunately, the more I stare at him, the more I worry that he looks like A Certain Guy With The Last Name "Kazarin", and the fear of never being original in my life caught up to me.
Don't look at me, don't perceive me, I refuse to explain any of my actions to you.
#team fortress 2#tf2#that's it that's the only tags i am putting this in. maybe someday i will have the balls to do more but for now that's about it#while i have the chance - and since posts with more of my yapping in the tags don't pop in people's feeds much - i might as well ramble-#-about these guys here. self-inserts or not i'm projecting only half of my bullshit on each one of them. creativity 👍#backup is tall and pale and has sharp canines and more of a dull brown hair colour with tired grey eyes. no amount of babyface or soft-#-hands can really help a motherfucker when he's grimacing so much because he just Hates being around half the people on the team.#cleaner meanwhile is on the shorter side and has constantly flushed skin and brighter colours and whatnot. you can't see it because of the-#-mask most of the time but they do smile a lot more and have a more cheery disposition towards life and see the whole team as their friends!#backup transitioned fully (albeit not very legally lmao) and is scared shitless of not being seen as a man although the last time that ever-#-came up was years ago. he holds onto his last name as part of the heritage he loves and loathes at the same time - attached to his culture-#-and religion and bloodline while also resentful of his family and the regime he knows someone else on the team suffered under.#cleaner just kinda binds and calls it a day. he only does it to confuse the team because while he doesn't identify with being a girl he-#-loves the confused looks his epic gender reveal moment gets. they do not remember their family name or where they grew up or what even got-#-them to this kind of mental state. and he's chill with it he values the here and now way more than some dark edgy backstory.#backup despite trying to be an honest man is afraid of vulnerability as well. he stubbornly refuses to express love towards certain people-#-lest they feel disgusted and turn away. he's afraid of consequences afraid of losing the people he loves afraid of his ''interests'' being-#-what drives them away. it doesn't by the way and he just wasted time being a cold indecisive loser for several months lmao#cleaner wears a suit that hides all of them yes but they pretty much never lie. he is always his truest self and he can always just burn-#-people who don't like him enough to make it a problem. they are a lot more comfortable indulging in their interests - be they innocent-#-and juvenile or violent and dangerous. he is quite open with his affection and his fascinations that backup would rather keep secret.#i want to establish that these two can only exist in separate universes because they both have feelings towards the funny assistant lady-#-and the funny inventor guy (selfshipping for the winnn) and would fight over those two. cleaner would win by the way#it's also a really funny point of comparison. cleaner is objectively more fucked up than backup and still managed to be more normal about-#-their feelings and live as a healthier and happier person than that guy. comedic gold honestly#OKAY I'M DONE if you read up to here you get uhhh a cookie :-)
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i just had the worst nightmare of my entire fucking life. it was so real. it was fucking lucid. i was in danger but the worse part was the people i care about were in danger too, because of me, and there was nothing i could do to protect them.
#❪ unfortunately i am projecting quite a lot here i just had an awful trauma nightmare... ❫#❪ ....honestly forgot that ptsd is ptsd and not a funny thing i joke about sometimes... ❫#❪ and like whats even worse is that its 4am in my timezone. none of my friends are awake to call. kms. /nsrs ❫#❪ okay ill shut the fuck up now jfc. ❫#ALI ✶ MUMBLES
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'Why am I the one that wasn't forgiven?'
Concept I don't plan to actually flesh out for funny parallel thoughts I had
Building off of my innocent/guilty parallel thoughts. I think it would be interesting if there was some bitterness between these two following trial 1 (aka local angst addict just can't resist the urge to make things Worse).
Obviously Mikoto wouldn't have anything against Shidou himself, it's nothing personal, but there's still a bitter irony to it.
The smokers definitely all discussed their thoughts on their potential verdicts, and Mikoto surely had confidence that he'd be declared innocent, probably worried for Shidou though. Then the results flip their ideas on their heads.
The one that wants the worst punishment gets innocent and the one that did "nothing" gets guilty. Their smoking habits probably start to get better/worse respectively. Not to mention in canon the other prisoners are keeping closer to Shidou/avoiding Mikoto [“since it’s a situation like this, we’re all staying close to Shidou-san.”/"I'm sorry, for avoiding you. Actually, I was a little scared of you, Mikoto-san…” (Haruka vd2/tl)] (I have an entire 528-word google slideshow slide that I wrote on their parallels in regards to the consequences of trial 1 (that I wrote pre-Triage) because I am just that insane cool but I'll spare you guys </333) Obviously Shidou would try to help like with all the other guilty prisoners but I imagine Mikoto might just shut him out. Idk !! I just think the angst potential's neat. I just don't have the energy/ideas to make a lot with it at the moment so this is all you get (for now)
#milgram#milgram project#mikoto kayano#shidou kirisaki#0509#0905#technically? in my book at least#my art#not a lot to say here !! since i didn't leave half the post in the tags this time#uhhh but yeah! angst. i think they're neat#i've been really drained lately so this didn't turn out Quite like I wanted. not that I wanted to pour too much effort into it anyway orz#but i hope that isn't too evident :')) but i really wanted to get this idea out#anyway yeah !! these two are so silly (miserable) :))#0509 ramblings#technically cuz of the text dump hehe
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due to my autism getting bored of object shows ill be posting my winner & loser designs out of order. i made them a while ago but i really like them designing an object out of a concept rather than any set object was a fun little romp that i enjoyed a ton :-) i hope you like them
#hopefully ill come back to this project (it has been a lot of fun)#but autism is the way it is yk ?? now that im not nearly as interested in object shows im just like#i could be drawing rain world rn LOL#not design#actually will probably post everything i made for this blog that i couldnt post because i hadnt quite gotten to that character yet#we'll see#but winner has my favorite ive made LOL#loosseerrr ive kinda fallen out of love with ...... cute but i think i got a bit complicated#as i tried to kind of follow the loser is ACTUALLY SO POPULAR thing that canon has#but like with the twist that its not fucking working 😭#ill post them in a sec here ive got to get them together lol
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