#I want to do so many things in life and just... every facet of my life is limited by illnesses. It SUCKS. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tarot-by-e11e · 3 months ago

Text

PAC: "What are you in denial about?"

After a long time of doing ask games, I finally got to sit on my procrastinating tush and try making another PAC reading.

We all have something we struggle to accept about ourselves, things we are subconsciously in denial about. It can be a habit, a little quirk that we're lowkey embarrassed about, or anything about ourselves that we tend to struggle to openly admit.

So, I want everyone who sees this PAC to know...

"Every facet, every aspect of yourself, even the parts that you struggle to accept or find a hard time resonating with, every little thing that makes the whole you, is worth loving and accepting.

Always remember, you're never too much or not enough for the right person."

(Note: this is for entertainment purposes only. Feel free to accept the parts that resonate and leave what doesn't. Never forget that you have free will.)

Choose the picture that you intuitively feel called to:

(the images do not belong to me.)

(TW: Some piles mentioned heavy topics, like pain, trauma or ab-se. Don't read through this pile if you're already going through tough times.)

Pile 1: 8 of Wands, Page of Swords, 6 of Wands

Hi Pile 1, the first thing that you are in denial about is how cutthroat your cut-off game is~ You’re the type that doesn’t really need a lot of time to recover from any terrible/unfortunate situation in your life. You’re not the type to cry over spilled milk.

For you, the world doesn’t stop spinning regardless if you cry your heart out or eat a whole tub of ice cream under your weighted blanket, so why get stuck with what ended?

Another interpretation for the first card is your ability to make sound decisions on the spot. This applies to your career. If a certain opportunity shows up in front of you, you can make decisive actions then and there, whether you would accept it or redirect this opportunity to someone who fits their description more.

With this specific interpretation, I picked up that Pile 1 is ambitious but not greedy (which is considered as rare combo in this day and age). If you happen to encounter a chance opportunity that will greatly benefit someone else, you don’t hesitate to recommend that person instead of taking the opportunity yourself.

It would seem that this pile subconsciously knows that opportunities are everywhere and it doesn’t run out. So why take every opportunity in front of you when you know one of your peers better fits that opportunity's requirements and skillset? You’re the pile that loves to share your blessings because sharing is caring~

The last tidbit interpretation for the first card is you’re in denial about your impulsive shopping addiction, thinking of ordering something impulsively online when you’re just about to sleep. I can already sense some of you are in denial about how many items are there in your online shopping cart~

The next thing you’re in denial about is your knowledgeable, witty, and chatty side. This card actually made me feel sad because it seems that you were made to feel that you are too talkative, some of you might be bullied about being a know-it-all.

This pile was made to believe that knowing a lot doesn’t make a lot of friends. That people who know less than you have more friends, so if you really wanted to make more friends, you were told to “dumb down” to make you more “relatable”.

There’s nothing wrong with having multiple interests and wanting to talk about it. Knowing a little bit of everything makes for an amazing conversationalist. So please, don’t let yourself be pressured to be stupid just to make friends. If the people around you aren’t interested in your niche, there’s the rest of the world that would gladly hear you talk about your interests.

Finally, the last thing you’re in denial about is you don’t feel worthy of the success and victory you aspire to achieve. Pile 1, please I beg you don’t be too hard on yourself. You don’t have to suffer to deserve the abundance you’re working hard to achieve, okay?

You deserve to be celebrated. You deserve to have your hard work be recognized. You owning up to your achievements and success doesn’t make you an arrogant person. You simply know your worth, more like, you’ll soon know your worth. There’s nothing wrong with giving credit where it is due, okay?

(this concludes your reading, Pile 1. Thank you for reading the whole interpretation of your cards. I do hope you give yourself the time and space to accept yourself, your flaws, and flaunts)

Pile 2: Queen of Swords, Hermit, Ace of Cups

(TW: I might unintentionally call your pile out. I do this with love, but seems my words might be a bit too blunt. So... sorry in advance)

Hi Pile 2, from the first card, it seems that you are in denial about your capability to be independent. It seems that this pile might be my parentified, burnt-out eldest child, “I can’t rely on anyone but myself; yet into too tired, so I just decided to give up on trying in life” kind of group. Could also be my fellow millennial pile~ The whole, “I was robbed of my childhood” pile.

Pile 2, it seems that you’ve seen that being a reliable and mature child brought you more headaches and early signs of grey hair, due to overwhelming stress and dysregulated nervous system. You’re like, “Screw it, I’m done being reliable, so I’m gonna start not taking the lead and just hole up in my apartment and enjoy being a NEET.

Being overly independent made a lot of people unnecessarily dump you with everybody else’s problems, which made you the community’s unofficial unpaid therapist. Being such a people pleaser, tending to everyone else’s needs led you to disregard your own well-being and sanity, to the point when you’ve had enough.

So now, you could have probably stopped trying because overachievers are forced to be people-pleasing over-givers, and you have had enough of that collective abuse of your giving and understanding nature. So you just stopped trying altogether. This led you to your current situation. Either in a dead-end job, having multiple part-time jobs that barely pay the rent at the end of the month, or unemployed. I should include a trigger warning on this pile before posting.

So with the first card alone, you’ve become hopeless and resentful of the world outside your four walls. Because when you took the initiative and did your best, instead of appreciation, you were buried with responsibilities that were never yours from the very beginning. Pile 2, you were unappreciated, that’s why you’ve reached your limit and stopped trying. But because of this self-sabotaging approach in life, you suffer due to a lack of resources, which then would further aggravate your already pessimistic outlook in life.

But here’s the thing, Pile 2. You know what you need to do to get out of your situation. You have the ability to make your life better. One way to ensure that what happened to you before won’t happen again is by establishing healthy boundaries with people around you. Yes, my chronic people-pleasing pile, I’m gonna hold your hand (in spirit) and tell this rather hard pill-to-swallow suggestion, Learn to Say NO.

I know, it sucks because it might be something you were never taught that you are allowed to do when you grew up. Either you have Pisces, Cancer, or Libra in the 4th house or you have prominent Pisces, Cancer, or Libra personal placements.

I really hate to be a bringer of bad news but in establishing healthy boundaries, you will finally learn which people in your life benefitted from your lack of boundaries previously.

Clue: they get mad that you told them No and they said that you changed in a rather condescending manner. That’s just a little clue, my Pile 2.

So from giving up on life to starting over again and owning up to your ability to be independent, it’s not an overnight change, this is a continuous journey of turning your life around for the better. So my dear Pile 2, be kind, patient and compassionate towards yourself on your path to independency.

Your whole body was so used to be in survival mode, then it went to freeze mode, so you need to work hard to regulate your nervous system to learn to be okay to put yourself out into the world again. That it’s safe to try again. That it’s okay to live your life the way you know works best for you.

Just always remember, to establish strong and healthy boundaries first, and then learn to soften a bit with selective people, every now and then. Use your discernment who deserves to have access in your life and be firm with your boundaries whenever some unsavory character tries to ruin and poison your peace.

You know what you can do, and you know what you’re capable of achieving. Regardless on how old you are right now, as long as you live, you are allowed to start over again.

Another thing you are in denial about is your natural ability for self-reflection. Some people have to learn to be self-aware enough to reflect on their actions and their impact on others, but you Pile 2 are a natural at it.

You might have experienced some sort of ostracization from your peers because you didn’t let yourself immediately conform and fit in. But you knew that doing what everyone else is doing, isn’t something that’s aligned with you. It’s like every cell in your body rejects any peer pressure that doesn’t align with your goals and belief system.

This could also be interpreted as you are in denial about being comfortable with being socially withdrawn. Being in isolation for so long, you’ve learned to be okay by yourself. This leads back to the first card about your ability to be independent. Since you can do things on your own, you don’t really rely on others, which is a jab towards people who crave constant external validation.

Your ability to be good on your own is frowned upon by a society that heavily advertises a collective, community-centric system. This ruffles a lot of feathers of those who heavily depend on others to decide everything in their lives. Basically, people with a sheep mentality won’t like you.

Which, in all honesty, it’s a great thing that people who can’t think for themselves don’t like you. Take this as a compliment, not an insult. Why would you want to conform when you know you have the ability to curate your life by your design? Why do you have to conform to look like everyone else, when you can be you for free? Think about that~

Of course, you need to take time to get to know yourself first and the process to that has a series of ups and downs, so just ride the wave with a surfer’s mindset. You’ll learn that their projections of you were never your responsibilities to begin with. Those are mere insecurities they actively decided to inflict on others. It was never your cross to bear. So why be bound by others’ fears when you have your own life to live according to your will?

The last thing you’re in denial is having opportunities to start again. This one felt rather odd to interpret because it feels more like a mindset issue. Particularly, you’re held back by your scarcity mindset, thinking you don’t have any opportunities to be abundant, when in reality, you do, it’s just that, it’s in a way that you never thought was possible. Okay, I think I’m starting to make sense of how this card is being interpreted.

So, do you about how the law of assumption works? What do you assume becomes your reality? It’s kinda like that but, it’s more of your reality unfolding to what you believe in. So let me try to break it down further with an example.

So if you assume that you don’t have a lot of going for you, then your mind will naturally find reasons/proofs around you to back up that belief. Your mind would like to reason why you don’t have a lot. Does this explanation make more sense for you? Do let me know in the comment section.

With that, the reverse is the solution. If you want to find reasons why you are having a great life, phrase your affirmations into questions. So for example, instead of saying, “The universe loves to take care of me”, rephrase it as “How is the universe showing me that it loves to take care of me?”. So when your brain hears that, it will look for signs, proofs, or shreds of evidence around you that will answer that question.

Another affirmation that you can turn into an ASK-firmation is “My life is amazing” into “Why is my life so amazing?”. Just try turning your affirmations into questions, read it first thing before you go to your phone, like any typical affirmation practice. Let me know how it goes.

(So this concludes your reading, Pile 2. I just want you to know that no matter what your age, race, socio economic class is, you have every right and opportunity to try again.)

Pile 3: World, 7 of Wands, King of Wands

(TW: I did not expect how unhinged the call-out is in this pile. So… like always, I’m sorry in advance)

Hi Pile 3, based on the first card, it seems that you’re in denial of your desire for belongingness. It’s giving, “I don’t care what anyone else says because I got me; then I cry myself to sleep because fck, I’m so lonely and feels so unwanted.” Yup, this pile needs a trigger warning too.

It could be that picked on you because of your uniqueness or nonconforming personal values. Another potential interpretation is being of mixed race or being in an environment that’s predominantly occupied by a different socio-economic class. There’s this heavy Uranian, almost Aquarius dominant energy in this pile.

Now, you don’t need to have the placements I’ve stated in your chart, this is just the initial vibe of this pile, the socially awkward and outcast pile. Now, as human beings, we’re social creatures, though varies depending on a person’s preference to live more introvertedly or extrovertedly. Even introverts have friends.

So with this pile, you might have been used to this prevalent shadows of alienation and ostracization by your peers/community because of the aforementioned clues above. But just because you’re used to it, it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt you or affect you in a negative way.

You know that it’s impossible to be liked by everyone, but it’d be nice to have a few like-minded individuals that you resonate with on a soul level. It’d be nice if you find your own supportive community too, which is absolutely normal. So please don’t shame yourself for wanting to belong. But you also need to remind yourself that if you have to change and dim your light to be accepted, you’re serenading the wrong crowd.

There’s this really niche suggestion because, in this economy, it’s not that easy to just pack up and leave into a different city/country that you feel called to, but if you have the means and you’ve thoroughly done your research, then by all means, pack up and go where you are appreciated.

Basically, the line goes, “Don’t dwell where you’re unappreciated.” But you still need funds, so if it helps you be motivated to get out and move away, try to do as much research on that city/country while working to save up for the necessary expenses you’d likely incur in your first 6 months in that new environment. If you need to learn the language, self-study in your spare time. Slowly find little ways to integrate the culture there into your daily life while preparing to leave.

But yes, pile 3, you’re not asking too much to wanna feel like you belong. There’s nothing wrong with you. So don’t apologize for wanting this, okay?

Another thing you might be in denial about is your overly defensive responses like easily triggered knee-jerk reactions brought about by denying the existence of your unhealed trauma from childhood. Damn, I really should put a trigger warning for this pile. Pile 3, you guys okay?? Still alive, barely breathing??

Seems to me that if you chose this pile, you got a whole lot to unfold. I can’t even make silly jokes to lighten the mood a bit. So the only thing I can do for you so that whatever time of your life you’re reading this, I hope you know, at least one person in the world wants to give you a Long Distance warm hug. I might not be there physically, but I am in spirit. But if you actually feel something holding you when you’re alone, then that’s a whole different spirit that you need to deal with personally.

So, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t stand up for yourself. What I’m saying is to be unaffected in public and execute your sassy vengeance in the shadows. LOL. But if you’re the type to be patient enough to let karma do its thing, then just wait and let the sht hit the fan when karma’s ready to come swinging.

Finally, the last thing you’re probably in denial of is your ability to take charge and lead. Pile 3, it seems that you’re the type that struggles to see yourself in a positive light. With how harsh and unemotionally draining your formative years may have been, you’ve been told too many times to suppress and conform that you ended up losing a little bit of yourself after every critique and degrading insult.

I’m here to tell you Pile 3, you have every right to feel what you feel. Don’t run away from it. Don’t deny it. Don’t shove it so far down your subconscious that it becomes a self-depreciating core belief that you’d struggle to heal in the future. Owning your power, accepting your light, harnessing your capability to lead and go forward. These things are way out of your comfort zone. Yet you know that these are things you are absolutely capable of. Let’s call it “Talents in statis”.

For you to awaken such latent abilities, you need to be gentle and compassionate with yourself in this journey. Self-development is a series and cycles of explore, experiment and re-strategize. So, if one approach didn’t sit well with you, there are other ways to improve that would best fit you. Curate your life as you see fit. Don’t just focus on working on the actually work need to be done. Work on improving and mastering your skills. The more you learn how to lead yourself, the more you’ll learn to feel more confident in leading others.

Don’t view mistakes as some irreparable stain in your soul. Mistakes are lessons guised as challenges for the purpose of character development. So, like a child that still learning to walk, feel free to do it messily and clumsily. It is in these attempts would you be able to harness and fully acknowledge your capability to influence and lead with conviction.

(This concludes the end of your reading, Pile 3. You know yourself best, both strengths and weaknesses. So you know what you need and have to do in order for you to learn to acknowledge the things you’ve been in denial about.

If you struggle to figure out how to start, do your research that you feel best addresses your current state of being. As always, take it slow, show compassion towards yourself, and always remember that “It’s only cringe until you make it.”)

Pile 4: 8 of Swords, Queen of Cups, Fool

(TW, yet again: This pile mentioned certain terms that might be triggering. So, if you intuitively feel that this is truly your pile, pause now and then. Let yourself just sit and breathe.)

Hi, Pile 4, the first thing you’re in denial about is that you are actually in pain. This pile feels like my self-sacrificing modern-day martyrs, particularly people who are or were in an abusive relationship. Another interpretation is being in denial of your codependency towards people who are doing wrong by you. Could also being in denial of being stuck in some mental cage of scarcity and limiting beliefs.

Damnnn, I need a trigger warning in front of this reading. This is giving “I can fix them” and “They’re not actually that bad until you get to know them”. Another vibe I can feel in this pile is accepting people for their potential. Also, this pile is giving “unappreciated hero martyred at the plaza pyre” vibes. The type that doesn’t realize just how much pain endured in hopes of acquiring the idea of someone. This is giving “limerence turned discarded puppet” vibes.

I’m sorry Pile 4 but the people who harmed you chose to stay for the benefit of their convenience, not out of love. They knew what they were doing to you was wrong. So please stop deluding yourself and remove those rose-colored glasses to see them for who they truly are, the master puppeteer of your demise.

Oh dear, pile 4 I really want to give you a hug! Please be brave and ask for help that you need. Report to the authorities and ask for their protection/assistance. Seek therapy. Talk to a friend. Do anything. Don’t leave yourself in a constant state of confusion because of their prolonged gaslighting had you questioning if you really being treated right or being suck dry of your energy and resources.

If you’re still confused if the amount of pain and trauma you’ve endured is normal, tell it to a trustworthy friend who can hold a safe space for you to speak your truth. Don’t leave out details. And listen to what they have to say after you’ve said your piece. You’ll know just how bad you’ve gone through with the help of their insight.

Another thing you’re in denial about pile 4 is your warm and loving nature. This could cause you to be shocked that this is something you’re in denial about because with everything you’ve gone through, you wonder, how can you still be warm and loving after all the pain you’ve gone through? But that’s the thing of pain, right? It highlights a clue as to what needs to be addressed.

When highlighting a certain issue that needs your attention, it’s expected that you subconsciously disregarded outer aspects of your life. Like, with how much pain you’ve endured, you’d question, how can someone with a broken spirit that lost hope, be considered as warm and loving.

Maybe, prior to the unfortunate series of your life, you were this warm, kind and nurturing person, that won’t hesitate to gave to someone else in need. Maybe the version of you before those pain is the version of you that’s warm and loving.

But I’m telling you right now, Pile 4, if you truly aren’t as warm and loving as you claim to be, then why didn’t inflict the pain you’ve sustain to other people? Why didn’t you pass your pain to someone else? Why do you still wish for a better and happier life? Why do you still have hope? I’ll leave this for you to answer whenever you feel like it.

Bad people wouldn’t feel bad nor wouldn’t contemplate if what they did or said could unintentionally hurt someone else. See? You’re not as bad and hopeless as you perceive yourself as. So, please pile 4, and never forget that once you get yourself out of that unfortunate situation, it’s safe for you to exist. It is safe for you to put yourself first. It is safe for you to try again.

Finally, you are in denial about your sense of wonder and innocence. It might have been because you had experienced quite a bit of betrayal from people who mistook your kindness for weakness in the past. Because of how you were played the Fool for seeing the potential in people, these manipulators used your sympathetic heart against you, making you guarded and distrustful.

You might have hated how you wanted to share your kind and giving heart when you were surrounded by a crowd of traitors. This made you resentful and closed off from the world to the point that you don’t see any reason to want to try socializing again Pile 4.

You are not at any fault for wanting to see life in a better and more positive light, Pile 4. We are living in a time where gaslighting and manipulation are the unfortunate societal norm. So being your authentic wonderful self takes courage and strength in this confusing period in time. As hard as it is to do, please don’t like the toxicity of the world corrupt your heart.

There’s nothing wrong with who you are and who you want to become. Embrace this innocence with open arms as this is actually one of your superpowers.

(This concludes the end of your reading, pile 4. Admitting to yourself that you’ve gone through pain doesn’t make you weak. Believing in the goodness of others doesn’t make you stupid. Treating people with love, compassion and respect is an unfortunate rarity in our modern world.

So let yourself feel what you’ve denied acknowledgment before. Be the safe space you want to exist in. Do take care and don’t feel bad for standing up for yourself.)

Always remember, this is for entertainment purposes only. If you are going through stuff, seek professional help.

#divination #tarot #pac tarot #pac reading #pick a pile #pick a picture #pick a photo #general reading

180 notes · View notes

vexingwoman · 8 months ago

Note

I'm sorry if this isn't articulated well and is a little rambly, I'm autistic, please take my words with a grain of salt. as a former member of that "whump community" (who's still into that kind of media) I know most of them are tifs, tho I was in it more when most of the popular writers on tumblr were still girls. It's also primarily autistic people from my experience.

you're definitely 100% right that they're not identifying as real men, I'm detrans and i don't even conflate the 2 in my mind which i think is a thing most RFs don't get about yaoi and this kind of thing, i didn't want to be a real guy, fictional men r like their own species lol. they're everything real men could never be. it might be hard to understand if you're less chronically online but I'm sure though not consciously, fictional men aren't even really related to real men in most of these people's minds.

With whump stuff I was always more uncomfortable or uninterested when it was a woman, maybe because women in media being hurt and weak is the norm (and it feels too real seeing a woman getting hurt since there's a closer connection), and it happening to men is an intriguing reversal. More male attracted women (im bi) are into more sensitive guys which sadly mostly exist in media, so it's just escapism.

I think that's also why they identify as trans males, they want to become closer to the fictional ideal of a male who can be soft and sensitive, or possibly being autistic and having trouble separating your special interests and escapist fantasies from every facet of your life.

(For context, this was sent in response to this post)

I think you’re onto something here. Brutality against female people is so common that we’re completely desensitized to it, and consequently, female characters being brutalized doesn’t emotionally move us. Either that, or brutality against female characters is highly sexualized, and further dehumanizes them.

On the other hand, brutality against a male character is unexpected and unusual. Therefore, we are emotionally moved by it and able to recognize it for the tragedy it is. Indeed, this might explain why the “whump community” almost exclusively romanticizes the torture and anguish of male characters, and why so many of its members identify as trans guys.

Furthermore, have you noticed that most of the tropes this community romanticizes are things that, at least in real life, female people are primarily the victims of? For example: rape, kidnapping, stalking, being drugged, being sold. It almost feels like an attempt to vicariously garner empathy for female suffering, without the element of being another cliché female victim. I feel like they impose female suffering onto male characters because they know the audience actually empathizes for males and views them as full human beings.

In the end, I think it all comes down to female people’s desire to be fully humanized and to escape gendered stereotyping. For example, you stated that many trans-identified females “want to become closer to the fictional ideal of a male who can be soft and sensitive.” But why is a soft, sensitive male character so much more charming to them than a soft, sensitive female character?

Because in their eyes, softness and sensitivity in a male character is seen as authentic; it’s seen as a consequence of his unique personality. But softness and sensitivity in a female character is seen as expected, as stereotypical—it’s seen only a consequence of her gender. This is also why characters who are fathers are adored, while characters who are mothers are overlooked or scrutinized. Because a male character taking care of children is kindhearted, nurturing, selfless, compassionate. But a female character taking care of children is just doing her job.

Basically, I think many trans-identified females would like their softness and sensitivity to be viewed as authentically as we view softness and sensitivity in males. I think many trans-identified females crave for their characteristics to be viewed as consequences of their unique personalities, rather than consequences of their gender. They crave to be seen as human first and female second—not the other way around.

#terfblr #radical feminist safe #radblr #sexism #misogny #trans logic #gender critical #radical feminism #terfsafe #gender abolition #tif #whump community #whump #answered asks

284 notes · View notes

teopatra · 1 year ago

Text

Holaaaa

~ choose a meme for a channeled message // this is not a tarot reading .. happy Virgo season and happy Mercury RX 🥵 feel free to choose multiple groups-

Why do ppl love/hate u ??

Group 1 : si or yes

People do not know how to read you. The decision most people would immediately jump on you take the time to consider and really weigh your options. People hate that about you bc they think you’re too good but it’s lowkey a subtle flex bc it shows you have options. People feel like you get too many chances or things come to easy for you and almost like it’s not fair like you always win. If it’s a situation where you always win people feel like you don’t even try. For example at school it can be a random drawing and your name can get called in an assembly or in the morning announcements and people know you didn’t even try and they put so much energy into hoping they’d get it. 😂

Folks pay a lot attention to you bc you always seem so oblivious yet you’re so rational. You say the most intelligent things and overall you make people feel stupid because a lot of times people assume you’re slow or have dumb blonde energy when half the time you’re not even paying attention. But the other half of the time when you seem like you’re not paying attention you actually are you’re just very strategic. Life is like a game of chess for you and this can make others feel like you’re sneaky or have the intention to one up them by using information when it’s convenient for you. You give non chalant energy but not in a rude way in a calm at peace type of way. People leave you out because you make them realize they’re lowkey thirsty or pick Me’s since you don’t jump at every opportunity like they would, but you teach others about the vastness of life by being patient. Others see you as abundant and before you come into peoples lives even if you’re not close to them they see things as very black and white, this or that, left or right, but you being a multi faceted perspective energy to things. I’m getting mutable energy especially gemini, or heavy Jupiter energy or aspects to your Jupiter or 9th house.

People do love that you kind of don’t care about things BUT YOU DO😂 people really don’t understand you, but the crazy thing is with you it’s what you see is what you get but people swear that you’re hiding something or people may ask you what’s wrong a lot and you’re like nothing????? You don’t have the typical type of resting face it’s more of a stare into the distance because you’re trying to remember if you unplugged your flat iron or turned off the TV before you left the house. If you’re in school you may forget about assignments or homework and end up having to do them on the bus, in the bathroom or in other classes and people hate that they’re tying to fill you in on things but you seem so preoccupied like you don’t care but girl you’re just trying to passss.

EVERYONE wants your energy meanwhile they’re all gossiping about you lowkey bc you’re so interesting and they don’t have anything better to talk about in the sense. But not bc there isn’t anything to talk about it’s just you’re so mysterious. You’re a popular loner like people will try to leave you out just to tell you about it later and you’re like 😃 ohmygosh that’s so wonderful and they’re like BIH you should be jealous like… people really wanna make you the villain. The type of look you have is very girl or guy next door but effortlessly sexy. You actually do alot of self care and you’re intentional with getting dressed but you’re subtle. It’s just a I washed my face and brushed my hair type of thing. You could have a chiseled jawline or symmetrical face. I’m seeing Reggie’s fine self from riverdale. It reminds me of the main character from clueless also how she’s very girl next door almost typical looking but still very standardly pretty. Don’t get me wrong you’re gorgeous and you eat everybody up on your normal day to day. I feel like you actually plan to really make yourself look nice n the mornings before you go to work too but half the time you’re almost running late bc that sleep just be too good.. you focus mostly on your dental health and I see you putting drops n your hair like hair vitamins or oil so your hair must be long and light brown. OHHH you’re giving me Ariana vibes , “no tears left to cry” like people love that you’re unproblematic but that’s the problem lol who do you think you are to be so unbothered? Meanwhile you’re oblivious 😂

Signs: STRONG Scorpio, cancer, gemini, Pisces too actually all water

Side note: People love your hair and be wanting to play with it, when you flip your hair it’s smells like Garnier fructise or something like that like not the new style shampoos that smells perfumy the old type shampoos that smell fruity but still that tumblr era shampoo smell . Your hair puts people n a trance everyone stares at the back of your head when you’re not looking so keep protection crystals around or evil eye

Group 2 : eeyuh?

People love how talkative you are; you’re funny as hell like why you be saying crazy stuff. Even teachers love you or superiors look up to you even if you’re younger. Your supervisors or older colleagues could have crushes on you because you make them feel young like you. People love your light hearted youthfulness it makes them feel comfortable being themselves. This causes people to get clingy and obsess over you. People may send you random messages through the day like when they’re at the store shopping like Ohemgee this reminds me of you haha and it’s like a notebook or some random stuff they have at 5 below and you’re thinking uhmmmm ohhhkay should I be offended orrrrr…? Lol people make themselves uncomfortable with how much they love you because everyone kinda volunteered you as tribute to be THEE it girl or HIM, and you’re like Ohemgee I’m the main character but you just keep that to yourself. People feel like bc they praise you or put you on a high pedistal that you owe THEM something 😂 it gives you wouldn’t be here without me energy almost like you’re a local celebrity and if it wasn’t for your fans that you would be a nobody. You mind your own business and sometimes you can’t get time to yourself bc someone is ALLLLLWAYS calling your name and you’ve gotten caught a few times trying to avoid people n the halls, office, target or whatever and those people feel slapped by will smith n the moment bc how dare you. Next thing you know you’re shadow banned irl by everyone. You have this very magnetic control on folks to where everyone’s energy is the EXACT SAME towards you it’s almost scary sometimes cuz you’ll think dang did someone pass away? Cuz the energy is HEAVY; you’re left confused as if you didn’t get them memo then BOOM almost as if paparazzi announced the new issue of YOU is dropping and everyone needs the scoop and now you’re bombarded at once. Angry mob vibes almost. Heavy air sign energy I’m sensing Kanye, Doja, trump even tho you prob can’t stand either of those 3 ppl the example is to show how they can have such a strange cult like following and be hated but followed at the same time.

Back to the funny thing where you end up being like the class clown bc once people get your joke which it’s not like you’re trying to be funny but you’re very theatrical in how you talk and communicate and it cracks people up and those laughs just fuel you. People hate that you’re so funny they don’t want you to stop but then they realize so much time has gone by that they’ve spent laughing at you they’re now mad bc THEY got distracted 😂 people hate how you disappear or you like to eat alone people be literally wanting to watch you eat. People hate how obsessed they get over you because they start to feel like the feeling isn’t mutual but even as outgoing as you as you tend to be a bit reserved at times especially when you’re trying to focus. You have very good time management skills and you type fast lmao. People hate how fast you finish your work and how fast you run 😂 you’re a runner you’re a track star 😂 you be runnin from people huh lol people will literally chase you like this old school Disney channel movies where the fans chase the pop star.

People love love love you but they hate how lost in time you make them feel and everyone wants to be your best friend and people may try to make it seem like you’re mixy or you’re just social for attention.You actually made yourself be social to help with your shyness or anxiety; only your close family would realize this and you almost live a double life like Kim possible or Hannah Montana where your family would be so surprised to see how much of a starrrrrr you areeee. You may like to read books or do skits; I’m hearing theatre kid or you like to sing old pop or rock n roll. I heard “that’s just the way we roll” by the Jonas brothers 🥺 I love them they’re actually having a concert n my city this week 🫶🏽😭I’m getting more Pisces and gemini vibes like group 1, also Leo and Sagittarius

Group 3 : doj

People hatteeeee how fine you are 😂 you will catch people staring at you and you don’t know why? You also can be super tall or super strong and if you’re a workout girly people like staring at your muscles or buttocks lol . People hate to see you in the gym or gym class bc you can do so many reps OR it’s the fact that you’re not the typical type to look as strong as you actually are and there’s a saying/ word for this but I can’t remember what it is. You could be very slim or maybe more thicker or big boned and if you’re on the heavier side you’re super beautiful and people have never seen someone plus size be that beautiful. Sorry if that’s triggering but people are superficial. People hate that you look better than them even tho you’re big 😂 BIG SEXYYYYY . For my plus size girlies and gents you have a lot of confidence and everyone loves you and people hate that bc you make them feel small no pun intended but n the sense that they try to put you down maybe by making a fat joke or a skinny joke and it just makes them look lame bc you’re actually the total package you’re smart, creative, strong mentally emotionally and physically and all they can do is comment on your weight 😂 people actually wish you were their friend bc you sound so smart when you speak it makes people feel slow bc you’re very wise.

People love how you dress and they love your shoes and the bags you carry. If you get pedicures pay attention to when you get a fresh set bc I’m hearing it be looking good and people lowkey wanna copy they wait for you to get a new color. Or you have gorgeous looking feet it makes people stare it them in a weird way lmao and you may catch people staring at parts of your body even if it’s your face and they feel awkward and may try to make a 😒🥴 face because you looked at them back bc of how hard they was staring like 🙄. Your family or friends may be very well known and you’re very quiet which for some reason attract a lot of rude people to you like someone may try to cut you off in line and you call them out now they’re embarrassed. You could have to deal with confrontation a lot or have disciplinary hearings like someone was always telling on you trying to get you into trouble 😂you’re literally so quiet half the time but you also speak multiple languages so you could be part foreign and people assume you’re dumb bc you’re foreign smh.. you could be into spirituality or some associates from school or your neighborhood could have seen you in your traditional dress maybe you’re of Asian/Indian descent or you’re Muslim … if you’re into spirituality people actually watch your YT, tiktoks or listen to your tarot readings and may blame you for being right like😂 I was just trying to warn you. People really do not like you sometimes and you honestly don’t even do anything aww 🥺 PLEASEEEE don’t let this make you feel bad bc tbh your lil feelings would be hurt n the moment but after about 5 to 10 minutes you don’t even care 😂

Like you’ll go home and forget that even happened and if you are sensitive and it hurts your feelings people are threatened by you and sometimes that’s just life and both life and people can be sucky but you’re not here n this lifetime for people your here to share your research findings and your creativity/art. Especially if you’re a tarot reader, a yogi, a herbalist, spiritualist or any type of healer , you heal those who have negative energy around or towards you bc they cannot transmute the energy in their own. It’s not your job to transmute energy for others tho bc if you do that people will only become codependent off of you then turn on you. You have to build up strength and boundaries and if you have been doing so or done that already then good. People will try you sometimes and just don’t even let it get to you bc they are projecting onto you but people love your advice they just hate that it’s you giving it 😂 you really bother insecure folks

Big libra, Capricorn vibes .. also Taurus or Saturn dominants /aspected Saturn

641 notes · View notes

arjwrites · 4 months ago

Note

Hi there! Found your account through a moot and wanted to maybe request a Sam x nephilim!reader where he finds out that she had been keeping that she was a nephilim a secret to try and protect him, but the truth comes out when they're on a hunt together? Maybe with established relationship?

Heaven Hellbent- Sam Winchester x Nephilim!Reader

Summary: When a hunt goes wrong, Sam discovers a secret you've been keeping for years. Part 1 of the series!

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: F!reader! Canon-level violence and language!

A/N: THANKS SO MUCH FOR YOUR PATIENCE ON THIS! I literally loved this request so much but really desperately wanted to do it justice, so it took me a little while. Seriously, this was one of my most re-written fics so far. I really wanted to finally get something out to you, but I have a lot more to write on this topic so I AM MAKING IT A SERIES!! This is a bit out of canon context but I really really hope you still enjoy, thank you again for such an amazing prompt and for your patience!

Ever since you had come into Sam's life, things felt lighter. You were this warm, radiating presence that had wrapped itself around every facet of his life. Sometimes, when you lay together late at night, when he would trace your body with his fingers and plant soft kisses on your forehead, he would silently pray- he still did that from time to time- addressing God, fate, the universe, or sometimes simply to whom it may concern, thanking anyone he could for the miracle of you.

You were one of the most skilled hunters Sam had ever encountered. It felt like even having your presence on a hunt was an asset- when you were around, cases were solved quicker, monsters went down easier, and everyone walked away with far fewer injuries. He expressed this to you once, in your early years together.

“It just feels like everything clicks when you’re around. How is it that you make everything so easy?” He had asked you, eyes so full of admiration and innocence. Sweet, clueless Sammy.

“Hmm, I must be a pretty serious good luck charm then, sweetheart. Better keep me around,” you had purred, eliminating the space that separated you in a sensual attempt to change the subject.

Sam chuckled. “I like to think of you as our little guardian angel. My little angel.” Sam ducked down, meeting your lips with a soft, open-mouthed kiss, but not before his words sent a pang of anxiety through your body. It took a moment for you to reciprocate Sam’s kiss- you had to focus all your energy on keeping the lump that had formed in your throat from spilling to the surface.

Hiding your true identity from Sam was the hardest thing you had ever done, and yet the easiest choice you had ever made. You had been with him for years and had watched him and Dean go through so many horrible things. There were so many times you had wished you could step in- so many nightmares that could have been avoided if you had used your powers. But being a nephilim, you couldn’t. Because if you had, you would’ve had Heaven hellbent on your trail. And not just yours- anyone you had ever known or loved. Just the knowledge of your existence was a ticking time bomb, and the last thing you wanted to do was put yet another target on either Winchester’s back.

It wasn’t without hard work that you had gone unnoticed this long. Keeping under the radar had been much easier before you had met Sam. You had spent more years than you could count traveling, reading, learning, anything to fill your seemingly endless time. You didn’t use your powers, didn’t meddle in matters of Heaven or Hell, you just kept a low profile. That was, until you crossed paths with two of the highest profiles out there- Sam and Dean Winchester.

Falling in love with Sam was the last thing you had ever planned to do. But the more time you spent with him, the more you were drawn to him. You marveled at the fact that anyone could meet him and not fall in love- a man so inherently good, so kind, practically an angel in his own right. Sometimes, it felt as though there were three forces that worked to keep you alive- your soul, your grace, and your love for Sam Winchester, all three intertwined, braided together to tether you to the Earth.

So you stayed. You fought alongside Sam and Dean through every battle they faced. You did everything you could, finding ways to use your powers that would go undetected- by heaven and by the Winchesters. You could weaken demons and cast protection towards the boys, speed their healing subtly so that they wouldn’t notice. But there would be times when it would be far too dangerous to even let a glimpse of your powers show. Those were times that you would watch in agony as the man you loved faced horrors beyond your imagination. And those were the times you swore to protect him whenever you possibly could.

Sometimes, however, things wouldn’t go to plan. You and the Winchesters were hunting a demon that had been causing trouble in a nearby town. Dean had suggested the three of you split up to try to catch the demon by surprise. You had protested, but the moment he barked the order, him and Sam had split, leaving you behind. You cursed to yourself, silently willing that you would find the demon first so you could smite him with ease and not risk either brother’s safety.

Unfortunately, it hadn’t quite worked out that way. It had been well over an hour with no luck as you searched the stretch of abandoned warehouses. And neither you nor Dean could reach Sam’s phone. Fear set into your heart, a cocktail of worry and grace coursing through your veins. Your whole body was buzzing- normally, you would stop to calm it to avoid revealing yourself, but a horrible intuition left you no choice but to use it as fuel.

Meanwhile, Sam’s eyes blinked open, the dull pain in his head sharpening as he regained contact with his senses. There was a rope tied around him, anchoring him to a rickety chair and rubbing abrasively against his biceps.

“Sam Winchester. Good to see ya, champ. Rare to find you without your partner in crime these days.” Blinking back the spots in his vision, Sam’s eyes focused on the man in front of him- scratch that, the demon, as revealed by a quick flash of black.

Sam, struggling against his restraints, retorted. “Dean will be here-”

“Who said anything about Dean?” The demon cut him off, cocking his head. “I’m talking about your other little… friend. How’s it been, running all around town with that pet abomination of yours?” His smile was sickening, and there was something sinister about his words. He knew something Sam didn’t, and that was never a good thing.

“What are you talking about,” Sam hissed through clenched teeth.

“Nice try, Sam. Better get talking.” The demon sent Sam’s chair flying back into the wall to punctuate his command.

“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.” The demon pulled Sam’s chair back to him.

“Oh, you really don’t know? Scout’s honor?” He paced a lap around Sam, lurking over him as spite radiated off his every stride. “That crafty little bitch. That’s too bad, I was hoping to ask you a few questions… I guess I have no use for you, but why not break the news before I kill you? Secrets don’t make friends, right?” He knelt, drawing himself eye to eye with Sam, before practically spitting the words. “That pretty little girlfriend of yours is really a-”

Before the demon could finish the thought, he was flat against the wall and screaming his way back to Hell. Sam, still tied to the chair, had a view limited to the empty room in front of him and the vessel the demon once possessed, now slumped in a pile on the floor. He released a breath, having watched the danger dissipate, before tensing back up. Whatever was behind him was powerful. He could feel every hair standing up on the back of his neck as his pulse began to pick up rapidly. Something was screaming inside him, begging him to get out, get away.

“Oh, Sammy. This wasn’t supposed to happen this way,” called the creature from behind him. The words hung heavy in the air, tinged with heartbreak. Sam froze. He knew the origin of the voice, but it couldn’t be. He whispered your name and you came running.

“Sam, sweetheart. Are you okay?” You knelt to the floor in front of him, unsheathing your knife to cut away his binds.

Sam simply stared in response, mouth slightly agape and confusion nestling into his furrowed brow. He opened his mouth to speak, but you cut him off.

“Cat’s out of the bag, I guess. I’m sorry. I really didn’t want it to happen this way.” Guilt weighed heavy on you, as if you had done something horribly wrong. No, it was always to keep him safe, you reminded yourself.

Sam sat dumbfounded a moment longer. “What are you?” he finally coughed out. It was as if asking the question had triggered his brain to process the situation, and he tensed in preemptive self-defense.

This was it. No going back now. “I’m a nephilim, Sam.” Saying the words out loud felt like lifting the world off your own shoulders and watching it crash down all around you.

Your confession melted Sam’s expression into a series of reactions. You watched him work through the idea as if he was tossing your heart back and forth in his hands, weighing its pros and cons.

“Please tell me you understand why I didn’t tell you, Sam. Why I couldn’t-”

Sam’s tone was tense- his lack of reaction almost made things worse. “There’s no way you didn’t tell me about this. I’ve- we’ve known you for-”

“For years, Sam! Before you knew there were even angels, before Dean went to Hell, before you had any idea about the bigger picture! That just goes to show you, Sam- I’m not part of any of this! I’ve kept my head down for thousands of years, not raising any flags or drawing any attention to myself. And then I met you- I met you and I had to love you, Sam, I had to. And then I had to watch you go through so much pain and suffering and all I wanted to do was help however I could but I-”

“But you couldn’t. Because it would put you in danger.” If Sam had landed on a stance, you sure couldn’t decipher it. His voice was soft and gentle, but his jaw flexed and his expression narrowed.

“It would put you in danger too, Sam. And Dean. And everyone else.” Your response was quick, calculated. You had played this conversation out too many times in your head. Except you never had thought very far beyond the why didn’t you tell me and into the well what the hell do we do now?

There was silence for a beat.

“The demon knew.” Sam spoke somberly, like he was hand-delivering you a death sentence.

“And now you know,” you contended, defeated. A heartbroken breath wracked through your body, shuddering out of your lungs as you stabilized yourself to avoid teetering over. It was like the wind had been knocked out of you- like you and the man you loved most in the whole world had been plucked from safety and tossed out into open season.

“So what does this mean?” Sam’s tone sat on the fence between concern for your apparent emotions and the fear and confusion that had characterized the rest of your exchange.

“It means you can’t tell a soul, Sam. Not Dean, not anyone. Anyone who knows is at risk. And it means I… should probably leave.” Your stomach churned as you spoke. All of your worst fears were materializing in front of you. Try as you might, even your powers couldn’t zap them away. Your eyes rose to meet Sam’s, and finally, you could read his expression with clarity.

“No,” Sam shook his head.

“Sam, I can’t put you in danger-”

“And I can’t lose you!” You recoiled at his outburst. “I can’t lose you.” The second utterance was softer, bearing a greater resemblance to the sweet words Sam often shared with you.

“Sam, if anyone finds out…” you pleaded. As much as it broke your heart, you couldn’t bear to put Sam in any more danger.

“They won’t. Tell me what I need to do, and I’ll do it.” Sam’s gaze was intense as he studied you. It was as if he was learning you all over again- like you were someone brand new to him. And yet, you could still see the love in his eyes. You were still you, after all. This was just a new layer of you. Sam had promised to love you, all of you. And if nothing else, he was a man of his word. He lifted a hand to your cheek and ran a thumb over your cheekbone, as if maybe you might feel different under his touch. And when you didn’t, his last scraps of hesitance melted away. Tears welled in your eyes.

“Just… promise me not to tell Dean until we figure this out.”

“Promise not to tell me what?”

114 notes · View notes

wavesoutbeingtossed · 21 days ago

Note

The people who are being overly pressed about this are probably the same people who are flabbergasted over guilty as sin lol. My immediate reaction was good for you girl and also duh kind of obvious.

yeah like, I don't actually want to get into discourse over this on my blog so this will probably be the last of it because it's such a nothingburger and obviously just there to drive clicks.

But there's a reason why So High School is on the album, and it's there as a foil for Guilty As Sin? and Smallest Man and The Manuscript, about many things but for the purposes of this discussion specifically about sex.

The purpose of Guilty As Sin? isn't to shock people that Taylor Swift (or any woman really) engages in self-pleasure. It's that she's left to do that because her partner has neglected her in just about every facet of their relationship, including sexually. (Not that one needs a reason to engage in it, just to be clear. You do you y'all.) She's left so despondent over the lack of intimacy in all aspects that she caves to this fantasy that's sparked by someone whose intents are deceitful, because it's all she's got left-- and is the only way for her to feel anything.

The Smallest Man also details how sex coming from this place left her feeling empty and used and manipulated and needless to say, completely unsatisfied. (And other things, but flying too close to the sun.) And The Manuscript is the origin of all this shame around sex, how her early adult experiences in it warped her sense of self and of relationships and love and everything.

So then you have So High School where everything feels brand new in every way: she's giddy like a teenager (without a traumatizing history) because for once there aren't any games being played, she's not being toyed with or kept in the wings or discarded when inconvenient. Her needs are being met, and that act is exciting! It's a turn-on! They can have sex whenever and wherever they want because it is a place of safety and connection and exploration and joy! Possibly in a way she's never felt in her life! Is it any wonder that her third eye opened and over the last year she's been feeling herself in ALL the ways?!

(Not to say having sex means you automatically want to show off! But for HER her confidence in herself and her body has skyrocketed and as many around here have said, when someone keeps telling you you're the hottest thing on the planet AND THEN SHOWS YOU THEY MEAN IT, that can unlock a lot of things in your brain.)

Sorry didn't mean for this to turn into a soapbox lol. But in summation:

#Pouring out my heart to a stranger but I didn't pour the whiskey #Anonymous #writing letters addressed to the fire #the tortured poets department

39 notes · View notes

random-imagines-blog · 9 months ago

Text

Imagine Arthur Curry inadvertently hurting your feelings.

Earlier that week, he was at it again. Arthur, with his constant talk about how Atlantis is so full of adventure and excitement, when he’s not sitting on the throne anyway, so many different stories about a whole separate life that he lived down there. “You don’t get it - they almost started taking me too seriously down there!” Which sounded like the truth, because the council was always pulling him away from his fun and games - but most importantly, you. So it hurt when he would stay down there for longer than he needed, just to ride Storm around and try to race other creatures.

Yes, Arthur was the King of Atlantis, but as a human woman, you would never get to be the Queen, therefore half of his life was separated from you. He didn’t have to keep reminding you of it though - the empty bed in the morning, the dishes left in the sink, the stories he’d tell while drinking beer after beer on your couch - they did that for him.

Arthur, though he hadn’t meant to, hurt you whenever he forced you to remember that you weren’t ever going to be a part of every facet of his life, like you had invited him to be in yours.

The final blow was when he had come in three hours late for your anniversary dinner, and seemed like he had entirely forgotten about it. You had already eaten the nice dinner that you had made, changed out of the dress that you bought for this occasion into your pajamas, and were laying out by the television, watching Legally Blonde and totally agreeing with the scene where she throws the chocolates at her own television, claiming men are liars. In came Arthur, proving that point.

If the neighbors didn’t call the cops, you would be lucky at that point, because you sat up with tear tracks running down your face, and you let him have it. “Arthur, I get it, okay, you’re the King and you have all of these responsibilities and I’m so proud of you, really, I am. Your accomplishments are great, but - do you know how much it just hurts me, exhausts me, to know that … that you don’t belong with me up here, that you’ll probably fall in love with someone down there who can experience all of those things that you love and .. one day you’ll just leave me here, all alone?”

From the look on his face, he really hadn’t known a thing about how you were feeling.

“And another thing! Arthur, you missed our anniversary, to do .. what? You better have a good reason for it, for not even trying to call me because … because it broke my heart tonight,” You said, letting out a deep breath that it felt like you had been holding onto for ages. He looked surprised, and then he looked guilty and ashamed of himself, which - as bad as it sounded, made you feel validated.

“I’m sorry. Your night was wasted and - I’m really sorry for that.” Arthur hung his head down, his bushy brown hair creating a curtain around his head. Then he knelt down in front of the couch, taking both of your hands in his, stroking the back of them. When he finally looked at you, there was only apologies and love in there, and it made your heart beat faster, the sensation of what his presence had always done to you taking over again.

Arthur’s eyes were so light right then, like the ocean on a sunny day. “If there’s anything that I can do to make it up to you…”

Secretly, you had a whole list of things in your head that he could do. Arthur could get on his knees and beg your forgiveness, or he could make you dinner instead of you doing it for him, or he could bring you to the old dance-hall and give you a twirl on the dance floor like he had on one of your dates, but at the same time, you wanted him to come to these realizations on his own.

He looked so earnestly at you. He looked so ready to do anything that you would ask of him, even if it was something silly like do the chicken dance or run to the only open store on the other side of town and get your favorite snacks. For you, anything.

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll figure something out,” You sighed, bringing his hand up to your cheek and nuzzling it softly - almost using him as a tissue to get rid of the last of your tears. He didn’t seem to mind this either, his thumb grazing under your eye to catch the smudged mascara. “Some of me wants to know what you were doing out so late, should I even ask?”

“Shit, I was being an idiot,” He admitted, looking away bashfully. “You said you might have had to work today so I spent most of the night preparing for us to celebrate tomorrow…”

Your eyes went wide as you remembered that you had told him that. That you hadn’t told him you took the night off, because you were hoping that this was going to be a surprise. He continued on. “I don’t know much beyond burgers and beers but I was at that new place downtown, the fancy one - I had to go there and talk them into giving me a reservation for tomorrow night - apparently they were booked up but for me, they’ll put in an extra table.”

Oh, you felt the love then, how could you not? You let go of his hands and flung your arms around him, holding him tight after cursing him all evening, mentally chiding yourself for doubting this amazing man for even a moment.

Requested by: Anonymous

#Arthur Curry #Arthur Curry x reader #Arthur Curry imagines #Aquaman #Aquaman x Reader #Aquaman imagines #DC #DC imagines #request #imagines #arthurc

105 notes · View notes

gigidragonbbxxx · 9 months ago

Text

lil twist on the "movie star role"/"memoir method" for visualizing a dream life - another suggested method for the manifesting hotties

spoiler: this may help you figure out what techniques are right for you!

disclaimer: remember that these methods and techniques are just tools to get your mind saturated with thinking in your favor, stay grounded in the basics of the law and have fun with the varied tools!

I love the "movie star role" method. For those who don't know, it's a lil visualization technique where manifesting baddies act as if they're preparing to play the role of X. So if you want to be your SP's girlfriend, they "prep" for the role by living in the end state of already being SP's girlfriend. This includes embodying the attitude, saying affirmations like "I love being in a committed relationship" or "SP changed soooo much to gain my trust. We're so happy now!". Some baddies take a step further and apply it to their self-concept (this is genius btw) and begin saying affirmations like "I'm so beautiful and unforgettable, it is really not that surprising he came back begging for me. Giving him a chance was only fair with how much he groveled!"

Now, enter the "memoir method". This is usually a scripting technique but give Gigi a sec to explain! There are many variations of this method but it's essentially writing the reality you want to happen and putting the date in the future aka the deadline you wanna experience this by. Most encourage baddies to write in the past tense like "I'm so grateful I received enough money to cover my vacation, my bonuses keep increasing."

Now enter Gigi's lil twist on these methods - COMBINE THEM INTO WHAT I LIKE TO CALL:

The Interview Method

Imagine being interviewed by other loass baddies asking you "How did you achieve this?"

Visualize your dream self, the ultimate version of you that would warrant this type of attention and the answers that version of you would give.

Imagine an older Beyonce giving the "tell all" interview of a lifetime - THAT LEVEL OF HYPE.

Gigi's example:

I know I look glamorous and ageless. My skin is smooth and clear, my hair is long, inky black, blown out and curled. My body looks like an advertisement for hourglasses. The dress I'm wearing is flattering, accentuating my curves. I'm as sexy as I am elegant. The interviewer looks on with eagerness, practically spilling over with admiration.

"The Law of Assumption girlies wanna know Gigi, how the hell did you get results like this? Hollywood actresses would get insecure being in the same room as you! What are your methods? What's your daily routine?"

Now this is where the spoiler comes in! WHAT COMES TO MIND IMMEDIATELY? WHAT METHODS WOULD YOUR DREAM SELF LIKE?

bc guess what reader? all the answers are within you. your job is to let them out. coax them out with these exercises. feel empowered.

if your first reaction is: Idk Gigi. I don't know what methods work for me.

My answer to that is: then this technique is not for you. This method favors the baddies who are more familiar with the different modalities of manifesting. I encourage you to go and explore different things. Try them out. See which ones you like and then circle back to this and think about which ones resonated with you.

I encourage you to write it out. Script it as you visualize.

My own experience:

From this method I learned that my subconscious viewed my dream self as someone who was very disciplined and consistent. So I started to include these in my daily affirmations (I am disciplined, etc.). I realized that my dream self would let this quality seep into every facet of her life. I'm big into makeup and skincare so I thought, my dream self would probably affirm out loud or in her mind as she looked in the mirror and did her routine.

then the lil interviewer popped up in my head: "What happens on the days you don't feel well enough to do your routine?"

My mind (thinking in its favor) immediately went: that's rare that I don't have the discipline to stick to my routine so if I'm sick or in an emergency, I would just do a basic routine and play an affirmation tape.

I came to the conclusion that Dream Self would

be reliable

come across as intelligent - immediately

pride herself on good self-care

have a healthy relationship with SP

have friends who knew the law and would be encouraging

be calm and have a calm energy bc she knows everything is in her favor

be seen as a caring, beautiful, deep soul with much to give

never be taken for granted

always be spoiled by life - wealthy in finance and health

I also reversed this method: what would my Dream Self NOT do?

Dream Self wouldn't

talk badly about herself

put others down

get bothered by the 3D

surround herself with people who have limiting thoughts

be lazy

think that the worst would happen to her

This is the type of inner convo I want more loass baddies to have with themselves because it's important to be clear WITHIN yourself what you WANT.

and remember to have fun. Include questions about the silliest things like your favorite lipstick or fav playlist or opinions about dumb tv shows. One of my favorite visualizations is me telling the interviewer that I watched all of Sex and the City and that I vowed to never be a Carrie LOL.

okay, happy manifesting loass baddies!!

xx, gigi

81 notes · View notes

inkameswetrust · 1 month ago

Text

My Love/Hate Relationship With Lomille

Logan and Camille are very distinct characters that I feel thrive the more they spend time apart. Their personalities don't mesh well, they're deceitful to one-another, they have very few boundaries, they don't communicate their wants/needs well enough, they don't listen to each other, they can never truly decide whether or not they like each other, and I'm convinced they're only together because of their attraction for one another. I could spend hours explaining in full detail every toxic facet that their relationship is predicated on, but there is one instance that I can never stop thinking about.

YOU PICKED CAMILLE SOLELY FROM A LOVE SCIENCE EXPERIMENT???? AND WHEN SHE ASKED YOU ABOUT IT YOU LIED TO HER FACE?????

Keep in mind that they'd been dating for a year or longer at this point in the series. How do you keep that hidden from someone so long? How do you have the heart or the will to suppress such a huge lie? This is the one thing I'll never forgive Logan for because even though this was glossed over in the show, I could never imagine doing that to somebody.

Logan and Camille cause more harm than good to each other. But I can't hate them too much. I remember being sixteen and in a faulty on-and-off relationship with someone I thought I was crazy about. I can't deny that this is an accurate depiction of a common real-life scenario that many teenagers can and have experienced. I can't be mad at Nickelodeon for writing Lomille the way they did. But I can be mad that they're masking their toxicity with "love". They do not love each other. Their relationship would've been fine in their faults and flaws if they were just honest about purely being attracted to each other and nothing more.

That being said, I made a shitty Lomille angst edit several months ago that I'd like to share. I chose to create this edit to xoxosos by Keshi. I feel the snippet of lyrics featured in this edit perfectly describe the Lomille dynamic and how they chose to interact with one another in their relationship.

On and off, off and on I don't wanna f*ck around Swore we were still in love Got me seein' XO's XO's, yeah XO's XO's, yeah (Carry me home like you used to) On and off, off and on I don't wanna f*ck around Swore that we had enough Got me seein' XO's XO's, yeah XO's XO's, yeah

SO, SOS SO, SOS SO, SOS SO, SOS

Here are some additional lyrics to the song that were not featured in this edit but that I feel continue to perfectly describe their flawed relationship.

Do whatever you say Do whatever you want me to Baby I'm okay You can wreck my heart in two Yeah we made mistakes But I wanna see this through Baby it's okay Let me put it back for you

I might remake this edit just for funsies. I enjoy indulging in the angst Big Time Rush has to offer. And to all the Lomille shippers out there... why?

#btr #big time rush #btrtv #btr edit #lomille #logan mitchell #logan hortense mitchell #logan henderson #camille roberts #erin sanders #lomille edit #why i hate lomille #i don't understand why people ship lomille #i love them both but as their individual selves #they're much better separated

25 notes · View notes

wutheringmights · 2 months ago

Note

Okay I’ve been trying to put my thoughts together on this for a while. I would really like to hear about the matriarchy vs patriarchy in your Hyrule.

I mean, so. In the most recent chapter we heard a bit about the royal family, the queen of Hyrule seemingly was the face of the crown, with the king potentially being a less public figure, several daughters were born, and died until current Zelda was born. The king didn’t seem to think it was a bad thing that the last child of his late wife was a girl. So, obviously a woman can lead, and is allowed to rule the kingdom, although not uncontested, that may just be a facet of a power hungry kingdom.

This leads into the Shiekah, absolutely a matriarchy the militarist and spiritual leader (who is seemingly usually the same person) is assumedly always a woman, Impa. The Shiekah always serve the crown.

The generals of Hyrule as far as I can tell consist majorly of men and to my memory there is no named female generals, and, there are no female solders. Yes, there are Zora and sheikah “soldiers” but these are lent soldiers from different nations. At the start of the story the draft is specifically mentioned to draft every man older than fifteen. Meemaw’s sons both enlisted in the war, one was drafted the other seemingly enlisted himself. Kat was not enlisted. Of course it was only required for one son to enlist at the start of the war, and near the second Kat was unlikely to be forced to fight due to her condition. There are mainly woman and children in the civilian camp, the wives and family of enlisted soldiers. When Legend was in hiding he hid in the civilian camp and was a woman. Which to me implies that it is less suspicious to be a woman in the camp then a man. Which again to me implies that a woman is less likely to be drafted then a man. Which makes me believe that the draft is not applied to woman.

Now, the knights of Hyrule most certainly have woman amongst their ranks, but the knights seem to be more voluntary then the army. And! Feature many other nations in their ranks. Zora, Gerudo, and Goron, all have major roles within this organization.

Okay, maybe this is less of a question and more of an analyzes of the gender roles in the military of Hyrule .

I Do have a question at the end of this though!

Are woman allowed in the army? And if they are is it voluntary? Or are they drafted just the same as men?

Sorry if my phrasing is weird, I’ve maybe put too much thought into this! Thank you!!!<3<3<3

My initial vision for the Hyrule in CTB was for it to be very, very sexist society. I ended up curbing back that idea because I realized that I was the only person on the planet who wanted to see a shit ton of sexism in their loz fic.

Instead, Hyrule is a patriarchy in a post-feminism society. There was once a heavy amount of sexism affecting daily life that, while not blatant now, still makes the foundations of Hylian culture. Draft laws were made when there was a larger gender disparity. They have not been changed because, well, deep down no one wants to force women to go to war. The cultural value is still there even as society has become more equal.

That means that there are no female soldiers, and ergo no women in the upper brass. If a Hylian woman wants to join the military, she has to join the medical team or be in the support staff.

Gender roles are more rigid among Hyrule's elite, with men taking most positions of power. Respectable women are expected to spend their time in more traditionally feminine ways, such as managing an estate or charity. Gender roles are less rigid outside of the upper class. Some members of the middle class emulate the elite's rigidity, while others embody a freer perspective. Nearly every lower class woman works for a living, but there are some men who nonetheless idealize the subservient housewife. Not much different from life nowadays.

(I wanted to have Linkle be a budding feminist who had a really flat, naive view of what it meant to be feminist. For example, she would complain that women should be included in the draft so that women would be treated as equals, not that no person deserves to have their right to life taken by the government; I ended up needing to use Linkle's screen time for matters relating to the plot. That being said, a modern day Linkle would unironically have Notorious RBG merchandise.)

All that's to say that Hyrule is a fairly strict patriarchy. The way Zelda and the women of the Royal Family obtain "power" has less to do with any actual power and more to do with her function as a figurehead.

Because Zelda is Hylia incarnate, strict expectations of purity and goodness is imposed onto her. She has to be a madonna-like figure. Failure to embody this idealized femininity is not acceptable. As long as she conforms to this image, she has some influence. But if she ever dares to stray, she's is to be punished if not formally then socially. She would not only be a failure, but a pariah.

Because the monarchy's right to rule is derived from Hylia's bloodline, the crown can be passed on to anyone of any gender, decided by birth order. A son is preferred, but passing the crown onto the husband of the eldest Zelda is traditional. Queens can hold the throne, and there is a precedent of princesses becoming the primary monarch with their spouses regulated to consort.

However, that decision is based on politics. A princess who wants to be the primary monarch would have to campaign among the nobles to ensure that there will be no dissent. Some princesses train their entire lives to rule the kingdom independently. Other princesses plan on finding an advantageous partner who would become king while they manage more religious duties. And even more princesses are married off in their parents' political schemes.

Above all, the bloodline of Hylia has to stay on the throne. As long as there is an heir to inherit and produce more heirs, all is well. Twilight's Zelda married another woman, which was controversial because she would not be able to produce an heir within her marriage; she did not declare an heir before her passing in order to avoid an upset in court politics; her reign was quickly followed by a period of unrest as the nobles with vague royal ties made claims as to having the most of Hylia's blood within their family line. (I mentioned all that somewhere before; if not in CTB, then on this blog somewhere.)

But that's just the Hylians. The other tribes of Hyrule have different gender standards. (The Gerudo and Gorons more or less have one gender each, so we'll skip them.)

Rito are the most egalitarian of the tribes, mostly by way of being less of a cohesive group and more of a collection of nomadic flocks.

The Zora have a similar gender inequality as the Hylians, albeit slightly stricter. Zora woman had a higher social expectation to marry and product children. While working outside of the home is possible, it's seen as temporary step before marriage. Though, with their extended lifespans, most Hylians do not live to see when Zora women leave the workforce to become house wives; it's a common misconception among liberal Hylians that the Zora have a more egalitarian society. (In story, Orlanda complained that her parents still expected her to give up knighthood in favor of setting down and becoming a mother.)

The Sheikah are the true all-genders-being-equal culture (which is balanced out by the cultist ideology imposed on the members of the tribe). The head of the clan, Impa, is traditionally a woman because she is expected to be the handmaiden of Hylia incarnate. If there are no female heirs to Hylia's bloodline living, it is possible for a man to become the head of the tribe. He would shed his mortal identity and become Impaz.

And finally, let's talk the Knights of Hyrule. Believe it or not, but the issue of the clan's inclusivity has less to do with gender and more with race. Because the clan originated as a bloodline, women would have been expected to serve the clan in some form, with the sporadic woman achieving knighthood. Over hundreds of years, this became more frequent until it was a regular occurrence.

The clan opened up to non-Harkinians around 150 years ago in a bid to bolster the dying clan's numbers. Fifty years after that, the clan allowed non-Hylians. The knights were perceived as being a second-Sheikah clan that existed only to terrorize non-Hylians. Great-great-etc. grandparent of Warriors opened the clan to the other tribes in a bid to prevent the monarchy from stripping the clan of power or disbanding them entirely.

Gradually, non-Hylains rose in the ranks before becoming knights themselves. The speed and frequency depended entirely on the current Master Knight's beliefs. The clan was long integrated by the time Lincoln took power, but he has a goal to switch either the Knight of Forest or the Knight of Light to another non-human, preferably a Rito.

#sometimes i am asked a world building question and the answer is a sheepish 'i did not think that far ahead my dude'#but this is a rare time where the answer is 'i actually put a lot of thought into lore that will never reach the page'#assuming hyrule would have to be a matriarchy because of the hylia thing kinda irks me? I've seen people argue it before and like #i totally get it but at the same time there is sexism built into the hyrule we see in the games. it is already more complicated than 'we #defeated sexism because god is a woman'#all that's to say thank you for asking. i could talk about this shit all day #me rambling #lu ctb #ask #linked universe #ctb lore #kiwibirdkiwi

25 notes · View notes

austinsastrology8991 · 1 year ago

Text

> Interceptions; through signs/houses <

interceptions are an overcharged, under-appreciated facet within a natives chart. its something you are acutely aware of and are usually extremely distasteful/uncomfortable of. Its something that was neglected in previous lifetimes so you are forced to fix it now...

1st/7th house or Aries/Libra - these people are very noticeable but in a uncomfortable way for themselves and others... they come off extremely strong (they are very imposing accidentally but also not in a good way) and they are always switching between being extremely self conscious of this or very idgaf. This creates a dynamic where they come off very wat da fuq > and are projected onto a lot and have a habit of projecting onto others a lot. 2nd/8th house or Taurus/Scorpio - These people are very insecure, but others are usually extremely unaware of this, which only accelerates the natives insecurity. To others they come off very valuable(2)/powerful(8) but usually they do not relate to this feeling within themselves at all. They however may overcompensate these feelings of inferiority by appearing stronger than they feel inside, and they are very good at convincing others this. Until it does inevitably crumble and everyone is shocked because their facade is relatively strong. 3rd/9th house or Gemini/Sagitarrius - These people are very talkative or the opposite; they are mindful of their answers and those of others, but because of their overthinking tendencies it makes them very fidgety and always need to have a great deal of input into the conversation. This makes others not sure if they smart, because they low key annoying to talk to (ya'll just sayin too much) but they dont appreciate their own cleverness because they mentioned every dot point in existence and this makes them feel stupid; don't know what a summary means or you made 5 summaries which defeats the purpose of one in the first place. 4th/10th house or cancer/capricorn - These guys had a rough childhood and you've never seen a more self protective person of their image. So they never reveal much and this statue-esque vibe they give off is very unesettling and many people talk about this lack of care they display because everyone knows ya'll just give a shit way too much. They avoid responsibility and emotional vulnerability often, and it creates conflicts within their personal life and that of their reputation. 5th/11th house or leo/aquarius - They doin a lot of vibin and not in a viby way. Its too much and they know it too and this creates conflict within their personality of not feeling like they shine in the way they wish they could, so they try even harder to shine the way they envisioned. But too others its the same song / dance we are so used to seeing this with them. This creates conflict in their presence within the community, and it can make them have a poor self image/ identity. 6th/12th house or virgo/pisces - they work a lot but they never satisfied with what they did, so they again work even harder. You can find these guys up at 4 am still tinkering their assignment/ project and even if theirs so many details implanted into it, its never enough and so they still doing more. They also neglect things that are necessary such as eating, or cleaning, because they are so focused on what they wanted to accomplish. This hurts their spirit because they never feel satisfied with what they have done with their life, despite working so damn hard.

> Im going to talk about double signs in my next post; and your double signs are what makes your interceptions far more bearable/ useful. But I want to encourage everyone to work on their interceptions, because it is a weakness, but it really can become a strength if you just put some practical work into it. < How to find interception? easy check yo house cusp; E.g. >

intercepted aries/libra in 12th/6th ;p > BEcause the Aries / Libra symbols is absent ^^^^ also after pisces and before taurus is 'Aries' which is swallowed up within the 12th house****** <That should make it obvious how to read now**** Oh and we always getting 2 gifs do not worry and these gifs *special* they encapsulate intercepted energy perfectly.... actually intercepted energy initself is encapsulation!!!

#intercepted houses #intercepted signs #intercepted #astrology observations #astrology blog #astro community #astrology #astrology notes #astro observations

245 notes · View notes

black-dhalias · 2 years ago

Text

To Belong

Leah Clearwater X Vampire!Reader

It wasn’t supposed to be like this—you were a lover of the arts and prospective ballerina. You were an artist. A performer and perfectionist. A lover, not really a fighter at all. You were graceful and kind, and you were good. You had a million and one dreams, and a future with so many hopes.

And in a flash, you had none of it.

When you felt the venom pound through your veins, you had hoped for death. The flurry of red hair was all you could remember of those last moments, that, and that you were going to be late for your audition.

“Smell this.” You do and pass the short along, the humans scent clings to it and now to you—without a doubt, all you knew these last months was orders. Do as your told and make it to the next day. You only knew bloodlust, no more dreams to keep your sanity together.

Everything was different, even the temporary sun of Seattle seemed to sing a different song. You had no dance left in you at all. Yet despite the subtle knowledge that you’re going to die before the end of this, you continue to follow the rules.

You just can’t bring yourself to care at all, you already lost everything—Riley made sure you knew that much. In the end, there’s nothing left of your life to return to. You move with the others—you don’t belong here though. You never belonged with them. You stop, the moment Riley separates from the group—the moment you heard the onslaught of growls. You stop completely in your tracks.

You don’t want to die.

You back into the rocks and drop down, knowing only one thing—that this is not your fight. “My name is Y/N.” You close your eyes. “I’m 18 years old.” Knees brace against your chest. “I was a ballet dancer. I died.” The sound of shattering bodies makes you squint harder, every sound sends a ricochet through you.

Make it go away.

“My name is Y/N. I died, and I just want to go home.” It has to go away, you don’t want this. You wish they would have just killed you.

“Hi Y/N.” You look up at the man with golden blonde hair and striking gold eyes. You would be crying, you want to cry. You don’t move, preparing yourself to die.

“I’m sorry—I-I don’t—” You shake your head, “I can’t—I don’t want to do this.” You are pleading with the gods more than him, wishing they’ll have mercy on you when it’s all done. You used to believe in god.

“Shhhh….” He soothes, “it’s okay… We won’t hurt you…” you follow him hesitantly, anxious to even be walking… You are their enemy, but they do not attack—they watch you with feverish pity, you hat their pity even more.

You did not expect the wolves, but in spite of your fear—you cannot look away from one of the smaller gray wolves. And if you weren’t on edge. You would almost say that they were watching you.

It all came down to a trade, Bree died and you lived—the insistence of the Cullens had saved you. Even though you came here to kill their human, they defended you. One of them even argued it had to be you. They were convincing enough.

Days turned to weeks and then weeks into months—the diet came easier than it sounded. Your eyes had begun to shift to a deep shade of gold. You almost hated yourself a little less. You put on a smile and walk in the direction of the stairs before stopping at the sight of—well you’ve never met her. Yet those eyes are familiar. Hair cropped short and dark, lips full and god those eyes.

“Sorry, I had to meet you.” Her apology is confusing, you tilt your head as you stop yourself from moving. You want to be close, but something in the way she is away—it makes you think that she doesn’t want you close.

“I know you.”

“Yeah we met once.” You nod, finally taking. A step forward and she steps back to match.

“The battle…” She nods, arms around her torso. “You were the little wolf.” This time she hesitates and does not move as you take another step down.

“Like I said, I had to meet you just once.” She swallows, studying how you move and every facet of your appearance. It’s a little like seeing the sun after years of being in the dark. Leah did not know what it meant to long for something, not in this way, until she had spent months battling every instinct. While a part of her is drawn to you, the other half is furious at the universe.

If she would have gone to Seattle a day before you were turned, bumped into you just once. Leah would have been there, but now you are a vampire. You were everything she was supposed to hate. And despite you being a stranger and a bloodsucker—she hates you less than most.

“I’m Y/N—” Leah knew your name, she had obsessed over you for months—hours googling you. Your missing persons report and family posts, they were shocking and painful. They were full of blistered memories from people who knew you better, but they pained Leah.

“Leah.” You smile and Leah loses herself for a moment, had tried to tell herself that she would feel nothing because you weren’t human. But she feels every second of your presence. In another universe. But Leah was certain the moment you smiled, that even in this universe—she chooses you.

“Well Leah, we have officially met now.” Yeah and now she doesn’t know what to say, and she rocks onto the balls of her feet. You can hear how hard her heart pounds, racing. “I do have to go right now, but I can give you my number?” Leah nods, takes it down and follows you out of the house. You don’t seem like a vampire at all, you seem oddly human.

“Bye Leah.” Then you are gone and Leah is on the porch, in quiet and calm.

“Bye.”

How long are you supposed to wait? When is it appropriate for Leah to hit send on a message? She had rewrote it a hundred times already. An hour. Leah hits send… Oh, god it was too quick. She begins to panic, rolling over in bed.

‘Hey! I was just about to text you!’

Her lips form into a smile, all of these good things and at the same time, the worry mounts once more. What is she supposed to say?

‘Yeah. I didn’t want to bother you since you rushed out.’

Read, god she really hopes you feel anxious too, terrified that she is reading too much into this. Terrified of even thinking about the one thing that she knows for certain—that she is already caught up in you.

You smile at your phone, leaning into the couch.

‘You don’t bother me at all.’

You type it all so fast and hit send. You almost don’t hate yourself as you go back and forth with her.

‘Good lol. So what’re you up to?’

That was the beginning of one long conversation—no one ever said good night or good morning, everything just continued. Over and over, on the daily. Leah had wrecked her sleep schedule just to see your name grace her screen.

It made everyday worth while.

It was late, your voice echoes over speaker… Leah was hushed, her voice groggy as she tells you about her day.

“Leah?” She hmmms and you continue. “Get some rest. We-”

Leah interjects: “Just talk—I just—”

“Okay.” You rummage through the shelves as quickly as possible, and return to the. All before she even knows you are gone.

“Mr and Mrs Dursley of Number 4 Privot drive, we’re proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.” You hear her laugh on the other end of the call, sleep intertwined with the sound.

“Harry Potter, really?” You kind of chuckle, pausing as you listen.

“I never read it.” You were so odd with how you said it, like it was the simplest thing in the world. She never questioned it further and as your voice lulled her to sleep—you can help your smile.

Seth tosses a cream colored envelope in her direction as they sit at the table, his other hand holding the muffin he’s devouring. While the letter itself is unexpected, the scent on it is familiar and known. She tears into the envelope quickly, watching an invitation fall out with messy writing in the corner.

Her eyes draw to the signature first— Y/N.

Leah wonders if you know what you do to her head, the mess you have caused and the inhibitions you have broken. Nothing about you was simple, and it drove her wild. She had only been talking to you actively for a month, but it was like she had known you for years.

Hey Leah!

Not sure if you’ll come, but I really could use some company at this wedding. And I’d rather it be you.

Love Y/N

It was that easy. Leah suddenly was invited to a wedding for people she barely tolerates and she’ll be there with a smile. She hadn’t seen you since you gave her your phone number, and since then—you had consumed her every waking thought.

“So you’re going?” Leah glances up at Seth, shrugging her shoulders—trying to seem nonchalant.

“Yeah, I guess.” Seth rolls his eyes, taking another bite of his muffin.

“Ya know, you imprinted on her. It’s okay to, ya know—be excited about getting to go with her.” Leah again shrugs, really looking at the way your writing jumps out. Your name. “You’re impossible, Leah.”

Leah tucks her hair behind her ears, trying her best to not to look as giddy as she feels. She had ruined her sleep to talk to you, and spent half her day waiting for your name to brighten up her phone.

‘I’m here’—Leah hits send, almost instantly the message is read and she smiles. Watching those three little dots…. Anticipation…. They disappear, and her heart drops.

“Leah!” She looks up and spots you at the top of the stairs—stunning. This definitely beats phone calls and text messages, because you just exist and Leah is absolutely enamored. “Oh I’m glad you made it!” You were halfway down the stairs before Leah could bring herself to even notice how beautiful you looked. Your hair done up, and eyes glittering the brightest shade of gold—like rich caramel, or amber. Or how you were wearing slacks with a vibrant maroon button down, and somehow was both feminine and masculine. Lips shaded a brilliant red.

“I see now why you had me wear maroon—” The way your expression seems to lift, eyes brightening… Leah is certain that you would be blushing.

“I thought the color would suit you.”

“Or you just wanted us to match?” You again, get that look as she points out exactly what you were thinking. You liked Leah, a lot more than anticipated and enjoyed the closeness.

“The color does look nice on you. I wouldn’t peg you as someone to like dresses.” She kind of half shrugs, again trying to seem as nonchalant as she can be. However, unconsciously—as she rocks on her heels, you note the way the dress moves just a little. You wonder if she’d make your heart race? Would she? Could she?

You don’t know where the confidence comes from—where you found the nerve to grab her hand as you lead her into the wedding. You knew next to no one here, besides her and the Cullens; everyone else was a stranger. Sure you knew Seth’s voice from the times he’d interrupt Leah on the phone. Sure you knew of people, but you didn’t know any of them.

Which made it that much easier, because she was pretty much the only person you needed nowadays. At first, Leah is hesitant to accept the way your hand felt—it was cold, but it was not uncomfortable. It was firm, but again, not uncomfortable. Nothing about you made her uncomfortable at all.

Being near you was as easy as breathing for Leah.

The Cullens took you in, and protected you when the Volturi wanted nothing more than to kill you. They gave you a home when you were certain you had nothing left to have.

“We’re outnumbered.” You tense up, you aren’t a newborn anymore, but you are close enough and you draw in on that strength.

“By a lot.” For family right? That’s what this is all about, and even as you stand adjacent to Alice—you wonder where you would be without them? Dead. That’s the only answer.

“I won’t let them hurt my family.” You tighten your stance, preparing yourself all at once for the oncoming assault.

“Neither will I.” It’s the four of you versus everyone else, just you against the wolves and it seems like every time you are certain you can breathe. Another wolf takes their place.

Even when the others arrive, you are left pinned—hands barred on either side of a wolves jaw. Screaming for help. You turn your head to the side, saving yourself from the teeth—hair tangling with the dirt. You hear a growl, eyes opening to see Leah moving quickly. For a moment, you are back at the battle field. The moment that changed everything, and gave you a second chance.

Once Leah is in front of you, the wolves redirect their attacks—avoiding you at every turn.

Leah’s body is wrapped almost entirely around you, spooning you close as her arms lazily hang over your shoulders. Her cheek pressing against the side of your head. Something about the way her heart beats, it soothes your soul.

“Why’d they stop attacking me?” Every muscle in her body seems to tense, just slightly, but enough for you to notice the change.

“Because I’d kick all their butts before they got to you.” You smile lightly, enjoying the sound of her voice as she smiles back—laughing just a little. But the way the sound catches in her throat, it tells you that there’s more to it.

“Cute, but really? Why? It made no sense, one second I was a prime rib and the next—it was like they were avoiding me.”

“Are you really questioning why they didn’t want to kill you anymore?” You kind of shifts your body so that you are facing her, still leaning into her—her fingers ghosting over your face to brush the hair out of your face.

“Yeah because I think there’s something you’re not telling me.” Leah purses her lips, you can see the thoughts physically forming in her head—like she’s trying to come up with a good story. You see her kind of give in, face relaxing as she sighs—tightening her grasp on you.

Nervous, you try to soothe her worries—laying across her chest, head tucked into the spot between her neck and shoulder. Arms wound around her as you listen to the lull of her heart. Even with the way the air catches in her throat, the sudden shift in her demeanor.

“I imprinted.” Your brow contorts, only hearing of imprinting one time before—sacred. That’s how Edward described it. “And if they hurt you, they would have broken everything we believe in.” Leah’s throat tightens, she had wondered many times of things would be different? What would have happened if you were human? Would she care more? Would she know you?

“Do you love me?” It was that simple, you didn’t ask the big questions or the complicated ones. Your eyes were wide and for a moment she just studied your expression, it was a half as second.

“Imprint or not, I’d love you either way.” Maybe it would have taken longer, but it didn’t matter because she has you now. Your sweet smile, it’s all Leah needs to know that much. She would have found you eventually.

“Good.” You hum out the word, smiling as you lean in to place a soft kiss on her lips.

#imagines #imagine #requests are open #fandom request #imagine requests #x reader #requests #love #request away #reader insert #twilight pack imagines #twilight imagine #leah clearwater #Leah Clearwater imagine #Leah Clearwater x reader #x female reader

477 notes · View notes