#questioning aplatonic

[victorianvivisection]

Questioning aplatonic stuff I guess 🍏

- I mostly talk to people just because I’m bored and I need something to do, not because I’m like damn I really wanna talk to this person/people in general.

- I don’t really miss people but I will occasionally reach out to people I haven’t heard from in a while because I recognize their absence is atypical.

- I’m better with it now I think but for a very long time I would come up with every excuse to not call someone my friend because it didn’t feel right.

- I think I’d like to be apart of a group but I have little to no desire to be friends/close friends with people one on one.

- I heard platonic attraction is wanting to know someone better. Is it platonic attraction if I have curiosities about people but I satisfy that urge by just going through their social media not because I’m scared to talk to them but because I genuinely just don’t want to?

- I think I form bonds cognitively as opposed to emotionally but there might be an emotional attachment there and I don’t want bad things to happen to those I’m ‘close’ with even though I actively feel nothing for them.

- I typically talk to people of current relevancy which sounds completely normal to me but I’ve been hearing things saying/implying it isn’t??? Like if I wanna talk about this thing I should talk to this person, or this person is typically better with this stuff, etc.

[allegoriesandepithets]

Large Pixel Size Questioning A-spec Flags

[PT: Large Pixel Size Questioning A-spec Flags]

Questioning Ace-spec ~ Questioning Aro-spec

Questioning Apl-spec ~ Questioning Aqp-spec

Questioning Analt-spec ~ Questioning Asen-spec ~ Questioning Anae-spec

Definition: One who isn’t sure if one is on the a- [attraction type] spectrum or not.

These also go by a-[attraction type]-allo-unsure (ex: ace-allo-unsure).

All flags are 3000x2000 pixels.

@tertiary-attraction-archive @orientation-archive @radiomogai @liom-archive @imoga-pride

[swifteainthesummer]

I'm questioning if I'm on the aplatonic spectrum

[questioning-aspec-culture-is]

questioning apl culture is having difficulty differentiating between emotional attachment and platonic attraction

<3

[entropy-sea-system]

Hello again! So I'm the anon here, I made a small list of the questions I wanted to ask! (Feel free to skip any of them if they trigger repulsion though, since I wasn't sure on some of them)

1 - Is it possible to be aplatonic but alloqueerplatonic?

2 - Can one be apl but still want close bonds with people? (Best example I could think of is close acquaintances or "unlabeled bonds", if those are even things?)

3 - Would it be apl(spec) to have plato attraction but have it be very rare, weak, or only when specific criteria is met?

4 - Is it possible to suddenly/gradually lose plato attraction (in general, not to a specific person)?

5 - Is it a possible indicator of being apl to not really feel anything "special" towards friends? (Like enjoying their company/personality but being otherwise indifferent towards them)

5.5 - With the above: Is it a possible indicator of being apl to view plato attraction/relationships as being a performance/metaphor, not actual "feelings" towards someone?

1- yeah, there are people who are aplatonic and alloqueerplatonic ! (some may assume there arent just bc the old definition of aplatonic claimed it means 'does not want qprs' - but thats not what aplatonic means. People are welcome to use the outdated definition for themself if they want but literally even the coiner of aplatonic (mr shuttershy on AVEN) never even made that definition of apl. )

2- yeah, and some apls are allo- for other attractions, and/or favorable to one or more types of close bond or relationship. (I for example have close bonds with my sexual and romantic-sexual partners bc Im demiro and allosexual, but dont want acquaintances or friends or qprs etc. bc Im repulsed by those)

3- yeah, that would be aplspec as aplatonic can also include little bit of platonic attraction, rare attraction, conditional attraction, etc. same as w how it works for aro and ace, etc.

4- yeah, it is possible. some people experience this. I dont know if there is an umbrella term for when this occurs, but if it occurred due to trauma its called caedplatonic (if one has ptsd or cptsd) and erasplatonic (if one does not have those disorders)

5- it could be, I felt like that back when I thought I wanted friends, and Ive heard other apls talk about finding friendship to be like this as well

5.5- it can be, since some of us arent familiar with how it feels to feel platonic attraction and/or truly like friendship and desire it, we may see it as 'not real' or assume everyone else is exaggerating how much they like friendship. Even if it is in fact real to people who experience it (and I don't believe its correct to actually call it, or any other attraction or relationship actually fake bc that invalidates peoples experiences)

And from my experience, unlike what some people assume, its really not just alloplatonic aros who are obsessed with friendship (some people, especially those who try to gatekeep the apl label as being only for aros, they claim there is 'no expectation to care about friendship outside of the aro community', and thus often assume this). Ive seen plenty of alloromantic people be incredibly invested in friendship and its also been very confusing to me that they even feel that much about friends and friendship as a whole, as a nonfriending apl who has never felt that.

[analyticcataclysm]

📌

hi !! i figured i should make a pinned eventually. albeit i rarely use this blog, but i might repurpose it as a fandom + aspec blog ?? not sure yet.

basics > just call me anon. 16. it/its only. aroace + questioning aplatonic.

interests / fandoms > homestuck. south park. mandela catalogue.

list of tags i use (for filtering purposes. will add stuff as i see fit or if someone asks):

#friendship (mentions, implications or depictions)

#romance (mentions, implications or depictions. includes most shipping content)

i try to tag most common problems (like #blood, #eyestrain, etc.) i might occasionally miss/improperly tag stuff (feel free to dm me/send an ask if this happens.) its always ok to ask me to tag anything for any reason.

[nexus-nebulae]

petition to call wondering if you're aspec "a-speculation"

[itsoktocallmegay]

Friendly reminder that aplatonics are queer. It’s so disheartening to see so much aphobia be directed towards aplatonics. The A includes all aspecs.

[angieblogging]

can someone explain being aplatonic/afamilial to me??? i literally have questions so, feel free to answer anything or don’t idk?

1. how do friendships/platonic relationships work when you are aplatonic?

2. do u just not want or need friends when you’re aplatonic? do u need them but not want them?

3. what do you feel when you’re aplatonic? when you’re ace like i am you don’t feel sexual attraction and when you’re aplatonic you don’t feel platonic attraction, so if you don’t feel it what feelings do you feel for your friends?

4. how do your familial relationships look like if you’re afamilial? what exactly do you not feel? love for them? if so then what do you feel for them? attachment? also platonic attraction maybe instead?

5. how did you know you are aplatonic OR afamilial OR both.

**IN NO WAY I MEAN THIS AS AN INSULT I AM ASKING GENUINE QUESTIONS ABOUT A TOPIC I DONT FULLY UNDERSTAND! I DONT GET PLATONIC/FAMILIAL ATTRACTION AS WELL I CANNOT PINPOINT WHERE IT STARTS AND ENDS HENCE THE QUESTIONS ABOUT WHAT YOU DO FEEL**

[aro-culture-is]

sorry if this isn't the place to ask, i'm just feeling really dumb right now and the blogrunners here are very good at explaining things in a kind way i can understand: how do aplatonic people think of the people in their lives if not as friends? i don't ask to be judgemental, i'm really sorry if my question sounds rude, i just want to know if most aplatonic people see their (nonromantic, nonsexual) relationships as purely transactional or if it varies from person to person. i maintain a lot of impersonal transactional relationships myself so i get that, i'm just curious

hiya! i think this is something that's more of a personal question that varies among aplatonic folks.

we (the blog runners) are a system, with some members alloplatonic, others apl-spec, none who primarily identify as apl currently. Our apl-spec headmates usually call individuals we're close with our friends, in a similar way to how ace people can have sex and aro people can have romantic relationships - it's not exactly the same, but they don't feel strongly about not calling those people friends. they feel no particular drive to hang out with specific people, thought they may do so for an assortment of reasons. those are often either transactional, about maintaining relationships with people that our system values, or about community building and care, which we are very driven towards. (as in, regularly start up connections for the purpose of community building and forming affinity groups)

I'll also encourage other folks under the apl-spec to respond to this via reblogs!

note: Our blog preference, to be clear, is that we do not receive follow-up asks from anons on previous topics, as it just gets pretty confusing to navigate. when our inbox used to be in the 6-7 hundreds regularly for this blog, we'd often have asks from over a month prior appear and disappear from the inbox by just... refreshing the same page. thank you for understanding!

[g8d]

low-key i hate being apl because i think it makes me be kind of a leech socially.

like if i cant help you then i don't know why im talking to you. its not personal, i just have no concept of being friends for the sake of it.

but i still need social interaction so when people show interest in me, its not like i push them away? and idk how to let them know that even tho i care about their wellbeing, i kinda don't really care about making an effort to keep them *in my life* specifically. so they're caught by surprise if something comes up and im just willing to let the relationship fall away if it seems like too much to reconcile. ive cultivated skill and interest in conflict resolution, but im still not super motivated to explain my position to people if they're too far off from where im at.

[victorianvivisection]

In a surprising turn of events I might just be completely disinterested in people as a whole

[foolishfynnesse]

Questioning whether I’m actually grayplatonic or if it’s just the AuDHD.

Lmao help /srs

[your-pal-nebula]

Question for aplatonic people (I'm sorry if this comes off as ignorant or rude somehow, I'm not aplatonic I'm just actually wondering)

Do you feel the desire to be friends with animals? Like, pets if you have any? It is just humans you're disinterested in or just all friends in general?

[questioning-aspec-culture-is]

questioning aplspec culture is also having attraction you label as queerplatonic and suddenly everything is confusing. are you confusing platonic attraction for queerplatonic? do you feel so little platonic attraction that (queer)platonic attraction feels so strong?? are they totally different things for you??? why does it matter so much?!?? aaAAA

<2

[yeye-hiro]

Just learned about aplatonic and afamilial. Aplatonic I get it and all, but I'm a bit curious about afamilial... Not in a bad way, It's interesting, and... Idk, I mean, I thought people didn't think that much about family bond? I thought it was just like a platonic relationship? Like, I love my sister, I consider her my best friend like a daughter I should protect, because I saw her growing and all that stuff, of course I have a bond with her but it's because I was there all along, and I believe if it was someone's daughter I would feel the same, wouldn't I? If I never saw her at all I would never love her the same way, probably not even love, probably not even care. What is exactly a "family bond" of isn't platonic? I should feel something with my family even when I almost never saw most of them?