#apl-spec

[aro-culture-is]

sorry if this isn't the place to ask, i'm just feeling really dumb right now and the blogrunners here are very good at explaining things in a kind way i can understand: how do aplatonic people think of the people in their lives if not as friends? i don't ask to be judgemental, i'm really sorry if my question sounds rude, i just want to know if most aplatonic people see their (nonromantic, nonsexual) relationships as purely transactional or if it varies from person to person. i maintain a lot of impersonal transactional relationships myself so i get that, i'm just curious

hiya! i think this is something that's more of a personal question that varies among aplatonic folks.

we (the blog runners) are a system, with some members alloplatonic, others apl-spec, none who primarily identify as apl currently. Our apl-spec headmates usually call individuals we're close with our friends, in a similar way to how ace people can have sex and aro people can have romantic relationships - it's not exactly the same, but they don't feel strongly about not calling those people friends. they feel no particular drive to hang out with specific people, thought they may do so for an assortment of reasons. those are often either transactional, about maintaining relationships with people that our system values, or about community building and care, which we are very driven towards. (as in, regularly start up connections for the purpose of community building and forming affinity groups)

I'll also encourage other folks under the apl-spec to respond to this via reblogs!

note: Our blog preference, to be clear, is that we do not receive follow-up asks from anons on previous topics, as it just gets pretty confusing to navigate. when our inbox used to be in the 6-7 hundreds regularly for this blog, we'd often have asks from over a month prior appear and disappear from the inbox by just... refreshing the same page. thank you for understanding!

[drachen-auge]

Aliqua* alt flags

Last year I created the aliqualterous and aliquaqueerplatonic flags based off of @genderstarbucks flags for aliquaromantic and aliquasexual.

Yesterday I decided to also do aliquansthetic, aliquaplatonic and aliquasensual. Which I did. But just now I found out someome already made some flags back in August. You can check them out here: https://www.tumblr.com/allegoriesandepithets/757561348673634304/large-pixel-size-aliqua-flags?source=share The design ist very very similar but since the colours are not exactly the same, why not share mine too.

Aliquasensual

Aliquasensual is an a*-spec and asen*spec orientation in which one only feels sensual attraction under certain circumstances. Aliquasensual can be considered an umbrella term, in which identities such as demisensual are included under it. However, aliquasensual can also be an identity on its own. For example, some individuals may only feel attraction to a very specific type of individual, or only when in a certain place or at a certain time.

The light orange colour, which is the same as in the asensual flag, was chosen as it represents sensual attraction.

If you'd like a darker orange, feel free to check out: @allegoriesandepithets flag design. (Link above)

Aliquaplatonic

Aliquaplatonic is an a*-spec and apl*spec orientation in which one only feels platonic attraction under certain circumstances. Aliquaplatonic can be considered an umbrella term, in which identities such as demiplatonic are included under it. However, aliquaplatonic can also be an identity on its own. For example, some individuals may only feel attraction to a very specific type of individual, or only when in a certain place or at a certain time.

The yellow colour, which is the same as in the aplatonic flag, was chosen as it represents platonic attraction.

If you'd like a more prominent yellow, feel free to check out: @allegoriesandepithets flag design. (Link above)

Aliquansthetic

Aliquansthetic is an a*-spec and ansthetic*spec orientation in which one only feels aesthetic attraction under certain circumstances. Aliquansthetic can be considered an umbrella term, in which identities such as demiaesthetic are included under it. However, aliquansthetic can also be an identity on its own. For example, some individuals may only feel attraction to a very specific type of individual, or only when in a certain place or at a certain time.

The light pink colour, which is the same as in the ansthetic flag, was chosen as it represents aesthetic attraction.

If you'd like a more prominent pink, feel free to check out: @allegoriesandepithets flag design. (Link above)

Aliqualterous & Aliquaqueerplatonic

While at it I also made some upscaled versions of my older aliqua* flags:

Original Post with label definition: https://www.tumblr.com/drachen-auge/733458195078660096/aliqualterous?source=share

Original Post with label definition: https://www.tumblr.com/drachen-auge/733459890770739200/aliquaqueerplatonic?source=share

[necrocities]

Hello, I've rather recently learned of the term aplatonic, and I thought, "oh hey, that seems self-explanatory. That's cool." and went on my way.

Now I've been seeing a lot of other terms that seem to relate to this and I'm realizing I definitely don't understand.

I'd like to look more into this since I and/or my fellow headmates/alters may be able to understand ourselves and those around us better by learning more.

So I will indeed do some searching on my own, but if there are others who can reach out and explain as well, I'd greatly appreciate it. Thank you for reading.

[mayhem-moth]

TO ALL APL-SPEC, ACESPEC, AROSPEC, AROACE AND OTHER PEOPLE I MAY HAVE MISSED WHO NEED TO KNOW THIS

Everyone is valid for the absence or differing experiences of love. No one gets to tell you how to define your love. You are not cold, unfeeling, or a robot for not feeling the type of love or a different version of love others' experience. Im sorry that you may have been in the past or will be in the future pressured to be something you are not. I want you to know that you are strong and that no one gets to tell you how to be you or live your life. And i hope at the very least you still know who you are inside and know that you are not alone. Our differences, our ability to define for ourselves what love means to us is what makes us human. Love does not make us human. Many things can love. And the complexity of love is frequently taken for granted in this statement.

Overall, you define what love is, and no one gets to tell you who you are. You are your own special person with a mix of traits and experiences that make you your own unique person, and no one has the right to take that away from you.

OH, and dont forget!

MAKE SURE TO HAVE FUN WITH WORLD DOMINATION AND YUMMY FOOD

[angieblogging]

aspecs are A PART of the LGBTQIA+ community. try to argue cunts.

[lovelessrage]

I think if you've ever made an argument for "love is what makes us human" that isn't "you cannot measure humanity by any singular measure, let alone a single emotion that nobody will experience the same way, if they experience it at all" loveless people should be allowed to bite you.

[isobug]

General Aplatonic / Apl symbols

Made for fun, in no way am I claiming this is "official" or that anyone has to use it or anything. I just had a lot of fun making my Poison Apl symbol and I wanted to do something else with the format!

Anyone on the Aplatonic spectrum / who is Aplspec in any way can use ( and is included ) in these!

These incorporate multiple Aplatonic / Apl symbols! Bees, blue roses, and apples. The color of the apples / rose are the colors of this Apl flag, while the bee is the colors of the second Apl flag here. I wanted to represent both color schemes because I personally use both flags, and I wanted it to be inclusive of all Apls regardless of flag preference.

I gave the blue rose thorns, as a way of reclaiming stereotypes about Apls being "distant" ( a rose creates distance between itself and others with it's thorns ) because of their Aplatonicism ( especially Nonfriending and Nonpartnering Apls ) or "thorny/mean" for not wanting casual friendships / being friendship repulsed / to randomly be called "friend" / any friendships or friends / not wanting or experiencing "love" in general, especially "platonic love"

I know some prefer yellow apples while others prefer a green apples ( especially aplaros / aroapls ) so I made two versions! Use whichever you want, or use both at the same time!

Here's the Apl bee by itself because it's cute:

Free to be used anywhere by anyone as always! If there are any typos or discrepancies please kindly let me know ( I'm editing this on low sleep, sorry! )

Taglist - @radiomogai, @daybreakthing, @aroapl

[scn-thedog]

ID by StrangerlsDanger!

[Image ID: Image one is a four panel comic. The first panel has a snake saying "bleh i exist :P" and looking happy. The second panel has another snake saying "erm.. how? justify your existence". The third panel is of the same snake in the first panel, with furrowed brows, saying ". . . um... no???". The last panel has the other snake, who looks very shocked. The second image has large text made out of fire that says "this is about being aplatonic do not derail"./. End Image ID]

[neptune-scythe]

actually in an aplatonic rage because why is the message always that people need friends and relationships in order to have good lives?

And the romance/sexual side of that pisses me off too, but at least there is some bit of representation and conversation for not valuing that or not valuing it as much as other people

but even then the solution is often "yeah I don't need that because I have my friends"

???

why is the message that the only time our life can be good is when other people are involved

like other people's support and willingness to be around me does not determine whether or not my life is good and satisfies me omfg

and yes obviously I know some people do want friends and that does improve their life, this post is not about those people. some of us do not want that, it has absolutely no benefits, and actually makes life worse

love is not the greatest thing, its not the goal for everyone, relationships are not everything, friends are not everything, dying alone with no one who loves you or remembers you is not the worst thing ever, some of us actually prefer that idea

and why is that so damned hard for people to understand

especially when those same people that are trying to push the need for relationships on you will literally just use you and then dump you when they're done, even if you tried to be a good friend/partner/whatever to them

like ok maybe if you think its so important actually be good at it??? actually show me the supposed value in relationships??? or just shut up and let me live my life the way that i see is best and actually trust that i might know what's best for me and you don't

being aromantic or asexual is hard enough for people to understand, but there's even less people who are even willing to entertain the concept that aplatonic people might exist and it's just so dumb. why can't people just let loners be loners without calling them depressed or broken or probably a violent person with criminal tendencies,

especially in a world where for traumatized, neurodivergent, or mentally ill people, a lot of people just don't care enough to put the effort into that relationship, because we're too much work, we're too different, we're just too much, why are people then pissing on us for accepting that no one wants us and just living our lives without that

just let aplatonic people live our lives, we're not even doing anything like omfg stop trying to force us to be social, stop telling us our life will only matter if someone else loves us, stop saying we're just depressed and going out with people will fix us, stop trying to make us "normal" and just accept that just because we're different doesnt mean we're a threat to your way of life and need to be altered to preserve your closed minded idea of what humanity should look like, especially when the social world is filled with obligation and things you should be doing and shouldn't be doing that maybe isn't actually beneficial for anyone

we're living our lives the way that works for us, we're not hurting anyone

just let us be

[pickle-the-lad]

I hope you live a life you enjoy, with or without love<2

[craigjones-marry-me-plz]

documentaries of serial killers, the fact that they usually had no friends, and childrens' books, ones that say that everybody deserves and needs a friend, indirectly caused most people's hatred towards aplatonics

[ceduralshinji]

Platonic Non-conforming

An umbrella term for friendships (and other similar relationships) and people that don't conform to the typical societal expectations of friendships.

Platonic Non-conforming may include:

Friends who are openly affectionate

Aplatonic people

People on the aplatonic spectrum

Friends who are mistaken for lovers

Exes who are still friends

Friends who kiss or cuddle

And more!

However platonic non-conforming is a self given label, and even if you fit the description here, you don't have to identify with this label.

The acronym is PLANC.

don't repost <3 ask before adding to wikis

this isn't a gender, do not tag as such.

[whackacole3]

i feel like i don’t see that many aplspec headcanons for characters in media. please share your aplspec hcs if you have any!!!

i headcanon kiriko and roadhog from overwatch as cupioplatonic and grayplatonic respectively!

[drachen-auge]

Alternate a*spec / anattractional spectrum pride flag

I wanted to create an a*spec / anattractional spectrum pride flag that visually includes at least all the most common a*- spectrums (asexual, aromantic, aplatonic, asensual, aqueerplatonic, analterous, anaethetic, asocial) but.... it's hard. Like there are so many colours and either you skip some or the flag seems like a wild mix of colours that hurts the eyes. So in the end I thought, why not go for one colour and work with shades. And put an "A" on top of it :D So here's a flag with four blue stripes in different shades representing the different a*spec labels and identities and spectrums plus symbolising that we all exist in spectrums. And to still kinda visually fit to the a*spec flags (plus it just looks nice) there's a grey and a black stripe. The grey representing all the grey areas on and between the spectrums. Black standing for the absence of attraction. And the A is pretty obvious I guess - a*-spec.

[bloomshroomz]

Reworking the A/Grey/Allo/Orchid Attraction System

As it stands currently, the a-spectrum encompasses any identity involving little or no attraction. This includes all grey orientations by default. The allo spectrum is treated as less of a spectrum, but more of a term for people who aren’t a-spec or grey. I think that this ultimately ends up being confusing, and could use some reworking.

(Some people might be getting a little anxious about where I'm going with this, especially if you're greysexual/demisexual/etc, so I want to make it clear right away: This rework is not designed to invalidate or exclude you.)

I keep seeing the a-spec get stretched to encompass more and more experiences, such as meneromantic: a term for people who experience romantic attraction easily, but prefer not to act on it unless they think their crush will reciprocate… Which just describes how most alloromantic people approach their attraction.

This was described as an “aro-spec” orientation, and as an aromantic person, I feel like that misses the point of the spectrum completely. I admit, it is a pretty niche term, and isn’t the end of the world, but it’s a symptom of a larger problem.

It’s becoming clear, at least to me, that people are unsure how to draw the line between a-spec and allo, due to the subjectivity of what “little attraction” even is, to the point of both terms becoming less meaningful over time. I don’t even know where I’m supposed to fit among those terms myself, at least when it comes to sexual attraction. I’ve actually opted not to label my sexuality largely for that reason; it’s why I’m a neu aro.

So I wanted to take a shot at proposing a change. Not for the sake of excluding or assimilating, but for the sake of making attraction/orientations more easy to navigate and explore, especially for people who are questioning. I made an effort to make this rework as inclusive as possible, while also being much more clearly understood. If you experience attraction and identify as a-spec, don’t worry! The rework still includes you; it just includes you in terms which are easier to define.

A-spec

The a-spectrum, under the rework, includes any identity which is defined by zero attraction, as well as experiences adjacent to that. In other words, if a person experiences absolutely no sexual attraction, no romantic attraction, and/or no tertiary attraction, they are a-spec. This includes:

Asexual: Experiencing zero sexual attraction, or having an adjacent experience to this.

Aromantic: Experiencing zero romantic attraction, or having an adjacent experience to this.

Aplatonic: Experiencing zero platonic attraction, or having an adjacent experience to this.

Cupio: Experiencing zero (sexual/romantic/platonic/etc.) attraction, but desiring a relationship commonly associated with that attraction anyway. For example, desiring a sexual relationship as an asexual person.

Apothi: Experiencing zero (sexual/romantic/platonic/etc.) attraction, and feeling repulsed by relationships and/or activities associated with that attraction. For example, being asexual and sex-repulsed.

Icula: Experiencing zero (sexual/romantic/platonic/etc.) attraction, but being open to relationships/activities commonly associated with that attraction anyway. For example, being asexual and open to sex.

Etc.

“Experiences adjacent to that” refers to anyone who doesn’t necessarily experience zero attraction, but still:

Feels strongly represented by a-spec identities/experiences.

Strongly relates to a-spec identities/experiences.

Needs access to a-spec resources, communities, and support.

Finds it easy, useful, and/or helpful to identify as a-spec, especially as opposed to not identifying as a-spec.

Finds one’s attraction to be irrelevant to one’s life, either because it’s so vague or infrequent that it has no impact, because one has negative interest in acting on it, or because one’s attraction otherwise has no relevance.

Note that “experiencing little attraction” is not a qualifier on its own, because what’s “little” is entirely subjective, and can be incredibly difficult to define. Note that you do not have to check each bullet point in the list above to be a-spec; just one is enough.

Greysexuality, greyromanticism, etc. can be a-spec, but these identities are not a-spec by default. It depends on the individual, their own experiences, and how they define/feel about their own identity.

Grey-spec

The grey spectrum, under the rework, includes any identity which doesn’t fit neatly into an a-or-allo binary. This includes:

People who aren’t sure whether they’re a-spec or allo-spec.

People who resonate with both a-spec and allo-spec identities/experiences.

People who resonate with neither a-spec nor allo-spec identities/experiences.

People whose identities are in constant flux, and thus difficult or impossible to pinpoint as a-spec or allo-spec.

People who fit into the a-spec category, but feel like the a-spec category is still insufficient in some way.

People who fit into the allo-spec category, but feel like the allo-spec category is still insufficient in some way.

People who feel like they fit somewhere between “experiencing attraction” and “not experiencing attraction” in some way.

Anyone else who can’t or won’t fit themselves into an a-or-allo binary.

Greysexuality, greyromanticism, etc. can be a-spec and/or allo-spec, but these identities are not either by default. It depends on the individual, their own experiences, and how they define/feel about their own identity.

I think this is a much needed change, not just because this is easier to define than figuring out what “little attraction” means, but because grey-specs don’t always want to be pigeonholed into being a-spec by default. It is a grey area, after all.

Allo-spec

The allo spectrum, under the rework, includes any identity in which one experiences attraction, no matter how much or how little. This includes:

People who experience little attraction.

People who experience a moderate amount of attraction.

People who experience a lot of attraction.

I’ve decided to include all experiences of present attraction in this spectrum because it can be extremely hard (or impossible) to quantify how much attraction you experience in comparison to other people. If you experience attraction, it isn’t necessarily going to be clear whether you experience a lot or a little or something between. Including all present attraction under the allo-spec, no matter the amount, makes it much easier to define where you fall within these spectra.

Greysexuality, greyromanticism, etc. can be allo-spec, but these identities are not allo-spec by default. It depends on the individual, their own experiences, and how they define/feel about their own identity.

Orchid-spec

This is an additional spectrum for people who experience attraction, but do not want to act on that attraction. For example, an orchidsexual person experiences sexual attraction, but does not want to have sex under any circumstances.

I didn’t come up with this spectrum, but I’ve decided to include it here, because a person may feel that orchid-spec is the only spectrum that feels relevant to their experience, with a/grey/allo being completely irrelevant or inapplicable. Though, a person may resonate with orchid-spec in addition to other spectra, which is also valid!

Overlapping spectra

All spectra within this proposed system can overlap in some instances.

For example, if a person experiences attraction, but feels strongly represented by a-spec identities, they could be a combination of a-spec, grey-spec, and allo-spec. They might identify with one spectrum more than the others, but they would be included in all three.

As another example, a person may fall under all four spectra, because:

Their attraction is irrelevant to them, so they identify as a-spec.

They relate to both a-spec and allo-spec, so they identify as grey-spec.

They experience attraction, so they identify as allo-spec.

They don’t want to act on their attraction, so they identify as orchid-spec.

A person might also identify as both grey-spec and a-spec, but not allo-spec, because they don’t know whether they experience attraction or not, but they relate to a-spec identities and experiences.

Another person might fall under both allo-spec and grey-spec, but not a-spec, because they experience attraction, but feel that the allo-spec is insufficient to describe their identity, while also not resonating with the a-spec at all.

These are just a few examples of how spectra could possibly overlap. There are other ways that these spectra could be combined which have not been listed here.

And of course, it's up to you how you identify! I just wanted to propose a system which (hopefully) makes attraction easier to understand and navigate.

[angieblogging]

can someone explain being aplatonic/afamilial to me??? i literally have questions so, feel free to answer anything or don’t idk?

1. how do friendships/platonic relationships work when you are aplatonic?

2. do u just not want or need friends when you’re aplatonic? do u need them but not want them?

3. what do you feel when you’re aplatonic? when you’re ace like i am you don’t feel sexual attraction and when you’re aplatonic you don’t feel platonic attraction, so if you don’t feel it what feelings do you feel for your friends?

4. how do your familial relationships look like if you’re afamilial? what exactly do you not feel? love for them? if so then what do you feel for them? attachment? also platonic attraction maybe instead?

5. how did you know you are aplatonic OR afamilial OR both.

**IN NO WAY I MEAN THIS AS AN INSULT I AM ASKING GENUINE QUESTIONS ABOUT A TOPIC I DONT FULLY UNDERSTAND! I DONT GET PLATONIC/FAMILIAL ATTRACTION AS WELL I CANNOT PINPOINT WHERE IT STARTS AND ENDS HENCE THE QUESTIONS ABOUT WHAT YOU DO FEEL**