#queer language

[queerslurheritageposts]

okay so I added this to the FAQ recently but I wanted to make it its own post bc it's important.

------------------------------

I'm [insert queer identity] can I call myself a fag/dyke?

yes.

But I'm nervous because [identity related nuance or specifics].

Still yes.

Can I call myself a tranny?

Look, you can call yourself whatever you want if you feel it fits you. I don't actually care that much nor do I have the authority to grant you a faggot pass or whatever. You can do whatever you want forever and you need no one's permission. I love you be free

[adhd-languages]

I have a lot of new followers so just to make it clear I love trans people and neopronouns are cool as fuck and linguistically interesting and it/its pronouns are also awesome and whatever pronouns or language you use to describe yourself is real as fuck.

[variousqueerthings]

Alan Alda: [in conversation about the social evolution of words] which reminds me of the singular "they," which everybody is needing to get a little more familiar with, and more accepting of. You say a very interesting thing about how some of us have trouble accepting that "they went into a store and had a soda," where we're talking about "Mary went into a store and had a soda," you're talking about one person. But originally - or a long time ago - we said "thee" and "thou" and changed it to "you," which is- which was plural, and we don't have a problem with my talking to you and calling you "you," I don't need to call you "thou." And I don't say, "you is," I say "you are."

Valerie Friedland: I think it's really funny because if we look back 300 years - which often we don't do, and that's why we hate the things we say today - we could find the same kinds of complaints about using you as we can find using singular they today. So grammarians like Robert Lowth and Lindley Murray would complain about how it was ungrammatical to use "you" as a singular. and not only that but most people don't realize that "you" is actually objective case and not nominative case, which means in plain English it's not meant to be used for subjects at all, it's supposed to be used for objects.

"Ye" is actually a subject case. So when you had a subject saying "you did this," it would be "ye did this." Not only did we move "you" to the subject position, we also started making what was once plural, singular. and then to top it off we started using plural verbs with it. All of this happened before any of us were born, so all of us do it without any problems today. Singular "they" is essentially the same sort of shift, pronouns have always changed over time - in fact "they" is not the original one in English either, it was brought it in by the Vikings -- so now it's just a matter of getting used to this grammatical shift, because a lot of the time in our grammar in our head we have it linked to being plural. And so it's just a matter of adjusting our knowledge to say " oh it's actually also singular." Now I can use a plural verb and it's going to be like "you," and take a plural verb whether I'm talking about one "they" or two "theys."

[notaplaceofhonour]

Question for nonbinary jumblr:

I’m nonbinary & need a gender neutral alternative to aunt/uncle for my nieces & nephews to call me. I know English has “auncle” & “pibling” but both sound uncomfortable to my ear. My instinct to construct an at least natural-sounding equivalent would be to go back to the etymological root for aunt & uncle to reconstruct a version that isn’t gendered. The problem is, aunt & uncle don’t share an etymological root, so this isn’t really possible.

On the other hand, דודה & דוד in Hebrew clearly do share etymology & seem like they would relatively easy to make gender neutral (besides the obvious that “gender neutral” isn’t how Hebrew typically works lol). However, I’m aware that there’s a project/movement to Queer Hebrew / introduce non-binary gender to it, and I’m curious if anyone knows what would be a way to make דודה / דוד gender-neutral?

[the-mountain-flower]

The word "folx" confuses me.

As a non-binary person, I completely understand the need for new vocab in order to accommodate ppl like me who don't fit gendered language (for example I prefer "Mx." than "Ms." or "Mr.")

What I don't get is why "folx" was added, because "folk/folks" is already gender neutral? I don't understand.

If anyone has an answer plz let me know bc I'm very confused

[cheesy-eyelash]

anyone know any good gender neutral terms in place of girl/boy? specifically that could be used in contexts like "girlfriend" and "boyfriend"?

i was thinking about it and how (imo) "person" or "enby" doesn't really feel the same or have the same energy. like to me they feel as though they would replace man/woman but not boy/girl. and i realised that the reason i think this is, is that "girl" and "boy" are both single syllable words whereas all the seemingly available options for nonbinary people or non specified gender are multiple syllables so they don't fit into the "____friend" format.

the only term i could find was "Xip" however that is something specific to xenogenders and doesn't apply to a wider community.

so does anyone know of, or have any ideas for, single syllable gender neutral terms that could be used in place of "boy/girl" and would fit nicely into the "boy/girlfriend" format and fill that gap in terminology?

[hypo-critic-al]

Myslím, že táto jazyková príručka už na čumblri/ťumbľri kolovala, ale prišlo mi vhod ju pridať aj takto:

Niečo o nej:

„Nebinárna príručka je projektom Vic Vargicovie a jej cieľom je pomôcť zvýšiť povedomie o nebinárnosti a identitách, ktoré pod ňu patria. Venuje sa aj používaniu stredného rodu a vôbec rodovo neutrálnej slovenčine, čo je pre mnohých ľudí nielen mimo LGBT+ komunity pomerne novým javom. Príručka je venovaná nebinárnym ľuďom, ktorí*é hľadajú informácie o svojej identite na jednom mieste, ale aj všetkým ostatným, ktorí*é sa chcú o tejto pomerne málo známej téme dozvedieť viac. Grafický návrh je od Lucie Dutkovej a text od Vic Vargicovie.“

zdroj: pridekosice.sk

Verím, že niekomu pomôže a príde vhod 👍

[aromantisk-fagforening]

so one thing about language is that not everything is a one-to-one translation.

one thing that's different between Norwegian and English is the term "gender nonconforming" or "gnc" for short. In Norway the term is more exactly "gender-overstepping" or "gender-exceeding", (kjønnsoverskridende). Idk if I can trans' it perfectly (pun intended), but it is more about doing more and stepping out of the box than not doing something.

[elfwreck]

“Find a way to take your pain and turn it into armor, because we the ones who have stolen their weapons and learned to dance with knives are not your enemy” that’s cool how you’re turning someone desperately feeling the need to justify their trauma and feeling guilty for having boundaries into a creative writing assignment. Real classy. I love the part where you imply that they’re weak for having a trigger and shame people for being hurt by their peers using slurs against them with no regard to their mental wellbeing. If you could make your tone a little more holier-than-though I think it would really drive your point home.

( To work within your bloviated metaphor, it’s great that you’ve stolen our enemies’ knives and are dancing with them, but if you’re stabbing other people while you frolic, they’re still gonna get hurt, and they’re allowed to defend themselves from you or get pissed at you.)

They’re allowed to be angry.

They’re allowed to defend themselves.

They’re allowed to attempt to get me and my friends and the entire active, parade-throwing gathering-hosting queer community of to stop using the word “queer.” (They are not likely to succeed. But they are welcome to try.)

They are not weak for having a trigger.

But what triggers them is not going to go away. They have the choice to avoid the existing queer community--the one that’s been happily, proudly using the word “queer” to identify themselves for over 30 years--or find a way through their trigger.

This is an impasse point.

On one side, we have people saying, “Stop using this word where I can see it; it hurts me.”

On the other, we have people saying, “I have found my true self and it includes this word, and denying that truth hurts me.”

I have been told that my self-labels are harmful to myself and the people around me. That they make me an unfit parent. That they make me unfit to be around children at all. That they make me unemployable. That they make me damned, and justify physical attacks against me.

And I have clawed my way into a place where I can use those words freely, and I’m not giving them up because strangers on the internet say they are hurt when I use them.

Strangers not-on-the-internet, and sometimes not-strangers, have been telling me my identity is hurtful to them for years. If I didn’t accept their arguments, I’m not likely to accept the new ones.

The ones who are hurt by the way other people describe themselves, are the ones who are going to have to change. Not because they are weaker or less worthy or deserve to be hurt - but because their core request is, “Please hide who you are,” and we are done with that.

Don’t like? Don’t read. Block me.

They can change by either making their peace with the word - and I’m not saying that’s an easy, simple route - or by avoiding the people who use it.

[queerslurheritageposts]

As a tranny of the tgirl variety who has been previously targeted with the word trap I feel like I may be able to comment on it!

In my experience it's more of like, an offensive and mean thing to say because it's incorrect. Calling a trans girl a trap is like Columbus calling Native Americans Indians. Like, no? I'm not a boy at all and much less one trying to lie to straight men(id sell crypto if I wanted to do that).

And I don't view it as a slur because it's not as reclaimable. I don't call my tgirl friends traps.

But also this is just my perspective :3

thank you for the insight!! the inaccuracy element of it was definitely something that was in the back of my mind but I couldn't really figure out how to phrase it

[transeliot]

Personally, it feels weird and performative to throw an x into an already gender-neutral term just for the hell of it, but want to know what others think.

[beatlesandbards]

no dad I'm not 'lecturing' you about being inclusive of they/them pronouns it's just you've hit /run on ObsessedExcitement.exe bc you said it's grammatically incorrect to use 'they' for a singular and my logophile brain went WHY YES THANK YOU I WOULD LOVE TO TALK ABOUT HOW YOUR BRAIN FOLLOWS SUBCONSCIOUS RULES YOU DONT KNOW ABOUT so I could tell you why it's so cool that your brain has secretly been training you how to include nonbinary folks in your language ALL ALONG

[myimaginationplain]

white queers are always so damned certain that "true" queerness is for them & them alone. expressions of queerness from Black people (most notably, Black women & those percieved as women) that don't center whiteness & aren't tailored for white audiences are always, always pegged as being unbelievable. all this plus a heaping dose of thay classic "all bi women are dirty attention seeking liars" brand of biphobia. fuck off man

[ri-afan]

🙋🏻

Why is the default for a neutral person I’ve heard is ‘friend’? (Hi, friend! Bye, friends! What’s up, friend? Hey, friend, got a minute? My friends, I need your attention for a sec for directions.)) Like, it’s been multiple unrelated people who don’t know one another in multiple situations.

I don’t know you? Who are you to call me your friend? I’m not your friend. One of y’all is my sister? Did I stop being a sibling and now I’m friend? Why was that switch made?

Confuzzed.

[queerslurheritageposts]

About aro/ace slurs. Does frigid counts?

I'd say it certainly counts as a derogatory term, but I don't know that it necessarily has slur status as it's not really a term that was/is commonly used to put down that entire group.

What does or doesn't qualify as a slur is a bit tricky to pin down imo, as we've discussed previously how any word can become derogatory depending on inflection and intent. The dividing line between a derogatory term vs a slur, in my opinion, is dependent on a few factors.

Common usage of the term- how widespread is the usage of this word for this group of people? How long is that history?

Intent or prior meaning- how has the word been used historically? Queer, for example, meant weird or strange long before it meant LGBT, and that had a role in it being derogatory. Other terms, such as the r slur used against people with intellectual disabilities, began as medical terms and then through usage by abled people came to have an exceptionally negative meaning.

Notoriety- similar to common usage, this concerns how well the term is known/recognized *as* hate speech. The n word, for example, has been used to subjugate Black people for centuries- many people recognize that it is a slur, or at the very least something considered highly offensive. That's not to say that lesser known terms can't be derogatory or offensive, but it's not quite the same as a slur if it doesn't carry that same weight and history.

Words can also gain or lose slur status- some of the words I used as a examples here didn't originate as slurs. Similarly, the word queer doesn't carry the same weight as other slurs thanks to widespread reclamation. This isn't to say that a word that was once a slur can fully lose that meaning so quickly- moreso that some slurs lose that weight over time, whether from reclamation or from falling out of use (i.e. poof)