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kittyamore0 · 2 years ago

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Ethan Landry x Dewey and Gales kid reader??

A/N: Dewey and Gale! Dewey and Gale! ◝(ᵔᵕᵔ)◜

𝒐𝒑𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒔 𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕

˗ˏˋ 𓆰•ᴗ•𓆪˗ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ 𓆰•ᴗ•𓆪˗ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ 𓆰•ᴗ•𓆪˗ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ 𓆰•ᴗ•𓆪˗ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ 𓆰•ᴗ•𓆪˗ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ 𓆰•ᴗ•𓆪˗ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ 𓆰•ᴗ•𓆪˗ ˎ

✧ - FANDOM/GENRE: Horror, dark romance, scream 6, Ghostface, Ethan Landry

✧ - TAGS: @kittiescrownedsoul, @zspen, @h34rtsformilli ✧ - PAIRING: Ethan Landry x GN! Reader

✧ - RATING: SFW

✧ - WRITING STYLE: One-shot

✧ - POV: 2nd person

✧ - REMINDER: Do NOT transfer, translate, copy, modify, OR steal my ideas! ✧ - CW: Mentions of killing, knife usage, deaths, guns, setting people on fire, deaths, wounds, slitting throats

At first, Ethan hated you, and you hated him. You were related to Gale Weathers and Dewey Riley. The same very people who tried to stop Richie and Amber from their genus plans, and managed to do so.

Dewey tried to help, and he died. Deserved, is what Ethan would like to think, but Gale, Gale was much harder to shake. A fighter, per-say. She was the one to hold Amber at gunpoint and set her on fire.

Sam Crap-enter, and Tara Carpenter. Oh, how much he hated Sam for slitting Richie's throat. Tara? She wasn't as bad, but still bad.

You? Hated you for your parents, but was all...he couldn't find any other reasons to hate you. You were just...perfect? Kind, funny, smart. All of the above. It infuriated him. God, he couldn't stand to see your perfect face, the same face that made his heart jump up and down, cheeks flushed an words caught in his throat.

Why did you hate him? Well...you happened to catch him talking to Quinn, about Richie being their brother. The same Richie that attacked your friends, parents, and you. Although, you didn't stay long enough to hear them talk about some...Ghostface matters.

But just like Ethan, you grown warm, nice, but overwhelming feelings for you. The shy, dorky, fun, funny, kind, nerd. You two always hung out, despite hating each other. It went from distant, to practically sharing food with the same forks!

The more closer and comfortable you two got, the more you both realized what the feelings you held for each other were. Now, it did infact make it more difficult to not give out any weird signs to each other.

Quinn hated the way her brother swooned for you. You were their next victim, not Ethans next lover. She'd always slap the back of Ethans head when he day dreamed about you. "Ow! goddamit...the hell is your problem Quinn?" Quinn sighed. "Stop thinking about your love duck and focus on the plan!" Ethan rolled his eyes.

You were the first to confess. You were drunk at the Halloween party and Ethan? Somewhat sober.

⚬˶♡˶⚬⚬˶♡˶⚬⚬˶♡˶⚬⚬˶♡˶⚬

"Etahn, I've be been look for you!" You giggled, as your body collided with Ethans. "Woah, you okay?" You nodded and nuzzled in his chest. "Now that you're here..." His cheeks flushed bright pink. "How much had you have to drink?" You shrugged. "3...no, wait...5...?" Ethan 'ohh-ed' before gently pulling you closer.

"You're drunk..." He whispered. "Wait...who are you again?" His smile dropped. "Im Eth " You chuckled and grabbed his shirt. "You look just like Ethan!" His eyebrows furrowed, but he smiled, deciding to play your little game. "Really?" You nodded quickly. "Mhm, yea!"

You hugged him. "Hes really cute, and handsome. Hes so nice to me. I like him a lot. I want him to be my boyfriend!" Ethans eyes widened and he stared at you in shock. "What...? "

You put your index finger on Ethans lips. "But shhh! Dont tell him. I dont know if he likes me back..." You murmured sadly. He gently smiled. "Tell you what, Im a friend of Ethans...and and he tells me how much he likes you. How pretty/handsome you are, funny, kind..." You blushed and averted your eyes away from his.

"Guess what?" You looked back at him. "What?" You spoke quietly. "Im the Ethan you're talking about..." A smirk played his lips. "What? No way!" You softly hit his chest. "Yes way!" You replayed in your mind about what he said. "Does...does that mean you like me too?" He nodded. "Want you to be my lover..." He sighed into you and placed his chin on your head.

"Will you...?" His eyes shined in the blue lights. "Yes." You closed the gape between you two.

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letmetellyouaboutmyfeels · 1 year ago

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Tumblr Fandom: A Year in Review 2023

Tagged by @mistmarauder and I'm pretty sure I'm contractually obligated to do as she says so...

Top Five Blorbos: Eddie Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley, Patrick Jane, Edgin Darvis, Xenk Yendar

Top Five Fandoms: 9-1-1, Fast & Furious, Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves, The Mentalist, The Witcher

Top Five OTPs: Buddie, Xedgin, whatever the hell Dom/Brian is called (there is so little fanfic for them I am weeping), Jisbon, House/Shenanigans uh I mean House/Wilson/Cuddy

Shoutout to Some New Friends: @princessfbi and @tulipfromtheinternet have been very kind to me, leaving treats out on their porches for me to sniff. I even let them pet me after a few months of slowly earning my trust!

Shoutout to Some Old Friends: @mistmarauder and @catdadeddie are two friends I grew closer with this year, and have done a lot to restore my trust in people. They've put up with an unfair amount of prickliness and distrust on my part with grace and love. @evcndiaz has also put up with me dropping into her inbox with fun (horrifying) facts about human anatomy, which earns her a gold medal. And of course @givemeunicorns @devilsbrokerank @captainofthefallen and @extasiswings continue to be my rocks and remind me that there are good people in this world, and that some of those good people might actually love me.

Favorite Creation You Posted This Year: Genuinely I feel like with my Halloween fics I have done the best work in my fanfiction career. I'm shocked at how proud I am of the fanfics I put out this year, including my Wednesday fic and my Xedgin fics. It's impossible for me to choose a favorite.

Favorite Creation Posted by Someone Else This Year: @kittykatthetacodemon had me reading fic for fandoms and ships I'm not even in or shipping? she's just that fucking good? holy shit go watch Mag7 and then read her fics just. just do it.

People Who Brightened Your Year: @lisbonsteresa always and forever brightens my days, and it was a delight this year to be in the same fandom again as she got me hooked on The Mentalist, @mistmarauder always makes me laugh even (especially) when she's roasting me, and @extasiswings helped me get away from the real world a couple times when I needed it.

Anyone Else You'd Like to Mention: I'm so grateful to all of my readers, always. Your enthusiasm and comments are what keep me going. Thank you thank you thank you.

Five of Your Favorite Authors This Year: I'll be honest I have barely read any fanfic this year since I simply haven't had time but a quick shout out again to @kittykatthetacodemon because Mist forced me to read her fanfics at gunpoint and I've never been so happy to be at gunpoint after reading them. I've reread her Hobbs & Shaw fics literally a dozen times, she nails the hysterical over-the-top banter from the F&F films and it has me giggling every time.

Oh and @henswilsons. Forever and always making me laugh with your delightful fics. Never stop, dear.

Five of Your Favorite Artists/Gifmakers/Podficcers/Etc. This Year: @captain-hen so many times I see a gifset that makes me insane and it's by you, you menace. @like-the-rest-of-la lovely art from a lovely person. @bucksketch you make art that has me screeching and twirling my hair and kicking my feet. @mistmarauder your podfics, babe, you know how much I adore them. Um I'm terrible at remembering urls (I'm even worse with names). Uh. Um. Uhhhh. Uhhhhhhh... *we're all still waiting days later*

Three Things You're Looking Forward to in 2024: 9-1-1 SEASON SEVEN BABEEEEEEY

#tagging thing #about lincoln

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ao3feed-superbat · 2 months ago

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jealous; you green-eyed fool

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/rxdWHNz by prolocity “I get that! Really I do,” Hal put his hands up under clarks interrogating eyes. It felt like he was being held at gunpoint, and honestly, it was worse than that. He could fry his brains so quickly there wouldn't even be a noise. “I guess some old habits die hard.” Clark raised his eyebrow and his lip curled. It felt like being cornered by a parent who found something on your phone. Except this wasn't him as a kid anymore, and the consequences were not just “You're Grounded,” it was “I'll Kill You With My Super Strength And Other Worldly Abilities.” “Yknow, when I was growing up the guy was basically a wet dream! And I know that might sound absolutely gross coming from a friend, let alone co-worker, but I sure as hell won't be saying these things anymore." A beat of silence passed. Shit. He rambled, and he rambled about his coworker's husband. To his coworker. 'Yeah I think the guy’s an absolute hunk! And I'd bend him over the first chance I got! But no need to worry sir! You can trust me not to hit on your husband!!' .. A story in which Clark talks to Hal about some of the unsavory thoughts Hal has about Bruce. Then Clark shares some... feelings with Bruce. Ifykwim. Words: 5584, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Series: Part 3 of Superbat October!! (2024) Fandoms: Superman - All Media Types, Batman - All Media Types, DCU Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: M/M Characters: Clark Kent, Bruce Wayne, Hal Jordan (Green Lantern) Relationships: Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne Additional Tags: Protective Clark Kent, Rough Kissing, Rough Sex, But its also a bit gentle, Clark Kent Feels, Embarrassed Hal Jordan, Bottom Bruce Wayne, Praise Kink (Only a bit), Top Clark Kent, Biting, Marking, Not too much, Banter, Confused Hal Jordan (Green Lantern), Clark is pretty pissed, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Accidental Voyeurism, (But Clark intends it), Hot Sex, Sweet/Hot, Gross Hal Jordan, Not Beta Read, Clark is pisssseddd, Clark Kent Has a Large Penis, Bruce is oblivious to their whole feud, just sex tbh read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/rxdWHNz

#ao3feed #superbat #world's finest #Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne #Bruce Wayne/Clark Kent

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asharkapologist · 1 year ago

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Unpopular Criminal Case Opinion #1

HUGE SPOILERS FOR PACIFIC BAY

The moment he killed Danny, Frank became irredeemable.

as promised, tagging @blenderscientist and @therealziggystardustfr

Just a heads up, this isn't an analysis of Frank as a character. This is me expressing an opinion about a certain part of his character.

And yes, that opinion is what is in the subtitle, which of course I'll explain.

For one, Danny was a LITERAL CHILD. HE WAS SEVENTEEN. Just because he was tried as an adult for killing Louis, that doesn't mean he WAS an adult, and the fandom forgets that too often. This is partially, the game's fault, too, because before Danny is killed, the game/characters refer to him as a boy/kid frequently, but after he dies, he's referred to as a boy like ONCE by Amy, but mostly, including in the very case he is murdered in, he is referred to as a man for some reason? Danny's killer wasn't even caught yet, and the game was already trying to downplay the severity of Frank killing a teenager.

I am also not trying to justify Danny killing Louis. Obviously, that was wrong, but Danny deserved prison time, not getting electrocuted. (I have my own beef with Danny getting 50 years while adults who commit hate crimes and/or dismember their victims get literal decades less than a minor, but that's a complaint for another day). But regardless of what Danny did, that does NOT justify Frank killing him, especially because Frank killed Danny for reasons unrelated to Danny killing Louis.

Speaking of those reasons, the reasons Frank killed Danny were VERY selfish. He literally killed Danny because Danny was going to expose Frank's crimes--which amounted to obstruction of justice and helping a heist, which probably wouldn't have gotten him arrested, just fired, because the police in CC can get away with more than regular civilians can (Jones getting away with holding Marconi at GUNPOINT comes to mind). But when faced with the possibility that Danny was going to tell Frank's friends he was the police mole, Frank decides to up his crimes to murder, and decided to VERY PAINFULLY kill Danny.

I could maybe say that Frank would be redeemable if Danny's murder was a spur-of-the-moment thing where Frank shot Danny suddenly or something, but the murder Frank committed was VERY pre-meditated. He had to modify the stun gun. He had to grab the whiskey bottle. He had to lay the spike strip. He drove Danny to the station. There were plenty of times Frank could have stopped and thought, "wtf am I doing?" But he didn't.

TW FOR DISCUSSION OF INJURIES RELATED TO ELECTROCUTION

And another point against Frank is the fact that the way he killed Danny was? So unnecessarily cruel? Frank has a gun, and he proved in Sting of Death he is very good at using it. So why on earth did he not just SHOOT Danny? Why did he waste time tinkering with a stun gun to make it lethal? And do you realize how PAINFUL electrocution is? I won't go into extreme detail, but basically, being electrocuted can cause burns and can cause convulsions extreme enough that you can literally dislocate limbs and tear tendons, ligaments, etc. And look at Danny in the crime scene. It is clear just from a glance that he died in absolute agony.

Also, put yourself in Danny's shoes. You're a teenager who's agreed to be an informant for the police, but you're trapped with the adult man that you have dirt on. You strongly suspect that he wants to kill you, and you know that because he knows that you know said dirt, he doesn't want to let you live. And then he crashes the car you're in, drags you out of the car, looks you in the eyes, and electrocutes you.

Now, you may say, "but Frank felt bad." Yeah, he did, but that did not change the fact that he wanted to get away with the murder, and he still COMMITTED it when he had many opportunities not to. Even though Frank wanted to gain his family back, especially his daughters, Frank, a FATHER, decided the best course of action would be to murder a child.

And all this brings me to The Final Countdown. Frank died not atoning for or making up for Danny's death or whatever, but trying to fix a problem he helped cause. It was because of Frank helping the heist that he was able to snatch the plutonium, which led to Tesla gaining power and nearly blowing up Pacific Bay. Frank was trying to fix that. He was not trying to make amends for Danny's death--not like he really could. Because Danny is dead, thanks to Frank.

And all of what I just said about how bad Danny's death was is forgotten by the game. Frank murdering a teenager in cold blood is swept under the rug in favor of giving Frank a police funeral that he does not deserve. "We forgive you Frank for betraying us!" That's nice, but you are not who he hurt the most.

(Not helping Frank's case is fans will genuinely sometimes make up stuff about Danny to make him look worse, if they acknowledge Danny at all.)

Justice for Danny Moto. He was a very troubled teenager who deserved prison time, yes of course, but never did anything deserving getting painfully murdered by someone who was later honored as a hero, with no one in the game really caring about what Frank did to Danny by the end of the game.

What Frank did to Danny was unforgivable.

#criminal case #criminal case game #criminal case facebook #criminal case pacific bay #pacific bay #frank knight #danny moto

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ao3feed-brucewayne · 2 months ago

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jealous; you green-eyed fool

by prolocity “I get that! Really I do,” Hal put his hands up under clarks interrogating eyes. It felt like he was being held at gunpoint, and honestly, it was worse than that. He could fry his brains so quickly there wouldn't even be a noise. “I guess some old habits die hard.” Clark raised his eyebrow and his lip curled. It felt like being cornered by a parent who found something on your phone. Except this wasn't him as a kid anymore, and the consequences were not just “You're Grounded,” it was “I'll Kill You With My Super Strength And Other Worldly Abilities.” “Yknow, when I was growing up the guy was basically a wet dream! And I know that might sound absolutely gross coming from a friend, let alone co-worker, but I sure as hell won't be saying these things anymore." A beat of silence passed. Shit. He rambled, and he rambled about his coworker's husband. To his coworker. 'Yeah I think the guy’s an absolute hunk! And I'd bend him over the first chance I got! But no need to worry sir! You can trust me not to hit on your husband!!' .. A story in which Clark talks to Hal about some of the unsavory thoughts Hal has about Bruce. Then Clark shares some... feelings with Bruce. Ifykwim. Words: 5584, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Series: Part 3 of Superbat October!! (2024) Fandoms: Superman - All Media Types, Batman - All Media Types, DCU Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: M/M Characters: Clark Kent, Bruce Wayne, Hal Jordan (Green Lantern) Relationships: Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne Additional Tags: Protective Clark Kent, Rough Kissing, Rough Sex, But its also a bit gentle, Clark Kent Feels, Embarrassed Hal Jordan, Bottom Bruce Wayne, Praise Kink (Only a bit), Top Clark Kent, Biting, Marking, Not too much, Banter, Confused Hal Jordan (Green Lantern), Clark is pretty pissed, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Accidental Voyeurism, (But Clark intends it), Hot Sex, Sweet/Hot, Gross Hal Jordan, Not Beta Read, Clark is pisssseddd, Clark Kent Has a Large Penis, Bruce is oblivious to their whole feud, just sex tbh via https://ift.tt/KuU1Q9X

#IFTTT #bruce wayne #batman #the dark knight #the caped crusader #gotham #dcu #dc #ao3 #ao3feed

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lalficfeed · 2 years ago

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Dysfunctionally Indiscriminate Competition: Kinda Stupid

by BFDI_Rocky, DollarStoreFanfix, MaverickNerd, Necrostar03

What do you get when you put eight writers together in a small, dark room and force them to write a Contestant Elimination show at gunpoint? Not this, that's for sure!

In this new competition, the minds behind CDCAT, TWSGS, YAIDCOA, SAG, ICTSA, SEXMAS (unreleased), and others have combined their collective sixteen brain cells to produce the most cracked-up show! Watch as at least six hosts manage the same show, and as 25 characters from all across the multiverse battle it out for wishes, computers, and other cool shit!

You decide who wins and who loses! Who will triumph, and who will stumble? What challenges lie in store? Will this show fall apart, or stay together? Are there any baddies lurking around? Is this even canon?!?

Find out the answers to all of these questions (except the last one) and more on Dysfunctionally Indiscriminate Competition: Kinda Stupid!

Words: 6653, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: RWBY, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing, Tom and Jerry (MGM/Hanna Barbera Short Films), Total Drama (Cartoon), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Battle For Dream Island (Web Series), Persona 5, OMORI (Video Game), Live A Live (Video Game), Looney Tunes | Merrie Melodies, Mickey Mouse and Friends (Cartoon 1994), Donkey Kong (Video Games), SpongeBob SquarePants (Cartoon), Splatoon, Family Guy (Cartoon), Shovel Knight, Skylanders (Video Games), lofi hip hop radio; beats to relax/study to - ChilledCow (Music Videos), Inside Job (Cartoon 2021), NumberBlocks (TV), South Park, Undertale (Video Game), Lemon Demon (Musician), Paper Mario Series (Video Games), Super Dangan Ronpa 2

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Characters: Jaune Arc, Yumeno Himiko, Thomas "Tom" Cat, Staci (Total Drama), Arceus (Pokemon), Pillow (Battle For Dream Island), Sakura Futaba, Omori (OMORI), Pogo (Live a Live), Daffy Duck (Looney Tunes), Donald Duck (Disney), Donkey Kong, Squidward Tentacles, Big Man (Splatoon), Glenn Quagmire, King Knight, Kaos (Skylanders), Lo-Fi Girl (beats to relax/study to), Reagan Ridley, 13 (NumberBlocks TV), Timmy Burch, Asgore Dreemurr, Lemon Demon | Neil Cicierega, Original Female Character(s), Flavio (Paper Mario), Original Male Character(s), Soda Kazuichi

Additional Tags: Reader-Interactive, Game Shows, Crossover, Multiple Crossovers, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, YOU vote who you want out

from AO3 works tagged 'Live A Live (Video Game)' https://ift.tt/kJAFiaR

#live a live #livealive #live a live fanfic #ao3 #rss feed

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ao3feed-danganronpa · 2 years ago

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Dysfunctionally Indiscriminate Competition: Kinda Stupid

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/Beg4mpu

by BFDI_Rocky, DollarStoreFanfix, MaverickNerd, Necrostar03, StellarBat

What do you get when you put eight writers together in a small, dark room and force them to write a Contestant Elimination show at gunpoint? Not this, that's for sure!

Find out the answers to all of these questions (except the last one) and more on Dysfunctionally Indiscriminate Competition: Kinda Stupid!

Words: 6658, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Additional Tags: Reader-Interactive, Game Shows, Crossover, Multiple Crossovers, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, YOU vote who you want out

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/Beg4mpu

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #dangan ronpa #danganronpa #dr

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marley-manson · 3 years ago

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Mash for the ask game?

Thank you for asking!

001 | Send me a fandom and I will tell you my:

Favorite character:

Hawkeye, hands down. It's hard to really articulate why actually. I mean obviously there's the gay/gnc jokes taken to such an extreme, and delivered with such a sense of pointed pride in differentiating himself from the average army dude, that it's virtually impossible to read him as straight. There's the anti-establishment vibe that I always latch onto in a character. The pacifism he follows through on - he will not carry a gun in a war zone, he will surrender to any "enemy" soldiers who happen upon him, he will punch Frank in the face but he won't defend himself against someone who doesn't deserve to be hit.

Somewhat unusual for me but I also really adore how open he is about his feelings. I'm used to repressed faves or faves who have to hide behind an image and/or conceal aspects of themselves, and Hawkeye is kind of refreshing in not being like that at all. Like to the point where if the writers don't want Hawkeye to immediately tell everyone what his trauma is for the sake of dramatic effect, they have to give him amnesia.

He's not perfect, sometimes I find him both in character and obnoxious lol, and while I've mildly complained about how the show went about addressing the misogyny of the early seasons and the womanizing, it is still a flaw that fits Hawkeye and that I don't really enjoy lol, but overall he's still one of my all-time favourite characters.

Least Favorite character:

Gotta be Potter I guess, and I won't go too into it bc I've talked about him a lot lol, but yeah in general it's more to do with his role in the narrative and the writing and shifting tone of the show, than with Potter as a "person."

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon):

Hawkeye/Trapper, Hawkeye/BJ, Hawkeye/Frank (hey it's not my fault he's the only guy Hawkeye's made out with on screen), uhhhh Hawkeye/omc lol bc I like the idea of him with someone unconnected to the war, aaaand Hawkeye/Charles. I'm here for the Hawkeye hitting on men show, obviously.

Character I find most attractive:

Margaret, at least for like, the main cast. There are a few incidental nurses around who give her a run for her money though. None of the dudes are attractive to me at all tbh.

Character I would marry:

I... guess I'll go with Kellye.

Character I would be best friends with:

Klinger.

a random thought:

BJ acts out more (tantrums and pranks and psychological torture) the less he's able to rely on thoughts of his future with his family as a coping mechanism and the more he's forced to experience the present due to his emotional attachments to that present, ie Hawkeye, mainly. In a roundabout way he does torment Hawkeye because he likes him too much for comfort - not in an actually gay way, but in a way that's pretty damn easy to put a gay reading on.

An unpopular opinion:

Hmm. I feel like I've already talked about most of my unpopular opinions. I think my take that Hawkeye has genuinely high self-esteem and is relatively well adjusted (imo he still has some issues, just like, different ones, and for the most part directly related to being in a war zone) feels like the most unpopular sometimes lol. My preference for the early seasons too, as well as my take that they're more progressive overall.

Oh one I don't think I've ever said, is that I don't care at all about the actors or behind the scenes stuff or other roles they're in or anything like that. That's always a bit of an unpopular opinion in live action fandoms ime.

My Canon OTP:

The only canon romance that isn't terrible is Klinger/Soon Lee. Wait no, I said it once in some tags: Hawkeye/Treason.

My Non-canon OTP:

Hawkeye/Trapper is the fave but I wouldn't say I have a Mash otp the way I define it.

Most Badass Character:

Klinger. From put-on but not feigned hypercompetency to disarming a dude holding a bunch of people at gunpoint to doing a ton of physical work all in heels, he's clearly the winner.

Most Epic Villain:

The U.S. Army.

Pairing I am not a fan of:

lots lol, I'm picky about ships. Hawkeye/BJ the way it's usually written is the main one bc I want it weird and messed up, not fluffy. Hawkeye/Margaret is probably the most popular ship I can't stand lol. Like I once tried to read an older fic bc the premise was right up my alley and it was really well written and I just couldn't do it bc it featured Hawkeye/Margaret. I can handle like a one night stand or two between them aside from Comrades in Arms as like, backstory, but anything romantic makes me run.

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another):

None to any significant extent, but everyone's got a few hiccups here and there. Hawkeye in Commander Pierce imo had some major ooc elements for the sake of Margaret's speech about how he's a hypocrite for hating the army. Radar's wavering characterization made it hard to get invested in him imo, though it's not a huge problem to me. Klinger often being The Dude Who Fucked Something Up in later seasons kinda sucks and while it's not blatantly ooc I don't think it vibes with his early seasons. etc etc.

Actually maybe I'll say Potter, because he could've been an incredible addition to the show if the narrative interrogated his Real Army but also a sweet grandpa thing. The potential for interesting writing there is off the charts and almost wholly unutilized.

Favourite Friendship:

Hawkeye and Margaret. I'm running out of things to say about them lol.

Character I most identify with:

I was actually floored by how much I related to Margaret in certain scenes. It's very unusual for me to emotionally connect to a character lol and I've got 0 in common with Margaret so I can't actually say I identify with her, but oh man they nailed some of her feelings in a way that fucked me up a little.

Character I wish I could be:

None lol. Everyone on this show is miserable and traumatized.

meme

#mash #text post #marley on mash #had to really think about a few of these lol #ask #potter mash #hawkeye mash #bj mash #klinger mash

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flamingbluepanda · 4 years ago

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20 first lines for the 21st year of the century...

Tagged by the FABULOUS @hyper-fixate !

Rules; post the first lines of your last 20 stories. If you don’t have 20 published stories, post them all or use your last 20 WIPs! Pick your favorite and tag some friends!

I do have 20 stories posted (I have 97 not counting my podfics) and I sorted them by date posted instead of date updated. Imma go in reverse order too!

20. “Yusuf didn’t understand why his new traveling companion caught his attention quite so often.” From Hold Fast to Me, also known as cuddle the joe fic. (The new companion, of course, being Nicky)

19. “There are, Nicky thinks, very few things he loves more in this world than Joe’s hair and beard.” From My Bounty is as Boundless As The Sea, which has too much Shakespeare and a fantastic podfic by my friend magpie

18. “One month after Booker’s exile began, he was startled out of a drunken sleep by loud knocking on his door and the blessed voice of Yusuf Al-Kaysani (Di Genova ibn ibrahim ibn muhammid etcetera etcetera) shouting “Sebastien! Open the fucking door or I’ll break it!”” From à la mémoire des pères (et frères)

17. “Sometimes, Joe wondered what he’d done in his first life to get so… lucky. Or unlucky, depending on when you asked.” From There you go pulling me right back in (warning for smut at that link)

16. “Joe exhaled deeply, raising his face to the sun as he finished his final rak’ah.” From against the assault (more smut, although no actual assault dw! It’s super fluffy malta times)

15. “Nicolo had been determined, as a child, to devote his life to god” from you love me (as i am) which is my ace joe fic and is extremely near and dear to my heart

14. “It was the first snow of the year” from one enchanted evening in which might actually be my favorite thing I’ve written in the past year. Torchwood fans should click that link.

13. “Ianto remembers being a little kid and watching his tad choke on his beer, coughing up petals” from worst you can do, the hanahaki fic that @princess-of-the-worlds forced me to write at gunpoint

12. “Joe sighed mournfully as he closed the door to his flat behind him, leaning back against the door and rubbing his temples.” From crumbs of bread which involves smut and non consensual drug use but also chubby joe being a badass undercover dude and Nicky being protective

11. “Nicky loved the sofa at the Mercer Safehouse” from and we were barely dressed, which is based off of some AMAZING art by @luminarai (although everything Cecil draws is amazing 🥺🥺🥺🥺)

10. “Owning a company worth billions of dollars was exhausting” from from the clench of a jaw which is a tiny peek into an au that @oldguardhc dared me to write (and I might revisit one day)

9. “Normally, Ianto hated being stuck at the HUB, especially on medical orders” from Haul Out The Holly (Christmas fic!!)

8. “It was on the fourth date that Joe finally said the dreaded words: “I have something that we need to talk about before this goes any further.”” From a friend to all aka stripper joe au!

7. “When Jack put the rule in the book, he was drunk” from with a Lil’ help from my friends

6. “Joe’s hair was getting long” from poetry in motion (more fluffy malta smut!)

5. “Quynh barely remembers her name sometimes” from such horrible things (exactly what it seems) aka “Alicia takes a sledgehammer to their friends’ emotions; the fic” (incidentally, written for @hyper-fixate!)

4. “Nicky had only lived in his new apartment for three days before he heard the sound of a cat meowing in his kitchen” from Kitty Mail Service aka “Alicia is very sorry about the recent sledgehammering, please forgive them; the fic”

3. “Come back to bed” from the axe forgets, the tree remembers aka amnesia fic!! My Big Bang fic with art by @sunshineandchemistry !!! Just to emphasize how many times I’ve read this damn thing, I didn’t even have to look at the first line, I just know it off the top of my head

2. “The very first time he thinks about the fact that he’s never going to play again, it’s unbidden, frenzied. Joe isn’t even aware of it.” From everywhere, at all times, which is an offshoot of the quidditch au by the invaluable mehmeh

1. “Carlos never spent a lot of time at the fire station anymore.” From fathers & sons, my latest fic and first formal foray into the 911 and 911 lone star fandoms!

So what did we learn. I like to establish settings snd character things in my first lines I guess? I like to think I have great hooks. I used to get praised for it by various teachers? Anyway, this has been fun lmao.

I tag! @princess-of-the-worlds @violetmessages @peachpitandpomegranate @shejustcalledmeafish @thirteeninafez @hesnotmy @mrsimoshen @horselover107 @yavemiel and @victorian-sexstache !

#i was tagged

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trouvelle · 4 years ago

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For DCMK Emogust 2020 — 18.08: Next Door Neighbour. @dcmkemogust20xx (also kinda late, sorry TAT) Just a bite-sized superhero AU.

Fandom: Detective Conan Pairing: Shinichi/Ran Rating: G Genre/Tags: Humor, superhero AU Summary: Iron Man did say his ass looks great in this new Captain America suit. Shinichi’s glad he took at least that one advice from him.

“Here you go,” says Shinichi as he sets Ran down from his arms carefully on the roof of a tall building overlooking a five-star restaurant.

The superhero really has no idea how his childhood friend has managed to stroll casually into the middle of an armed robbery. He knows Ran can take care of herself but he panics when he sees her at the crime scene because he wants her out of danger, at all times. Then he realizes he has been staring deep into her eyes and blushes a shade of crimson that would have put the red rims of his vibranium shield to shame.

Thankfully he is clad in his blue Captain America mask, so the blush on his face is quite well-hidden. Shinichi tries to tear his eyes away from Ran's lips which parted slightly like a rose bud in the cusp of spring. Perhaps a kiss...

“Thank you.” Ran's voice is surprisingly steady for someone who has been held at gunpoint only to instead be swung around the city from buildings to buildings. She has also been clinging tightly to Shinichi's torso which is something that wouldn't be forgotten soon.

“No problem. All in a day's work for your friendly neighborhood superhero.”

“Neighborhood? Does that mean you live in the same neighborhood as I do?” Shinichi watches as Ran’s eyes dart to left and right. “Ah! What if you’re my next door neighbor? I live on the 5th block in the City. Although if you’re actually my neighbor, you would’ve known that.”

Shinichi blinks. Just… where does she even get that from?

He waves his hands in front of him as a gesture of dismissal, taking a step back from her. “Ah, no. I don’t mean that I’m actually from your neighborhood. It just means that I’m a local here and this is sort of a community service, if you will.”

Ran nods mutely. Her eyes ran down his figure and he couldn't help but grin—Iron Man did say his ass looks great in this new Captain suit after all. Shinichi’s glad he took at least that one advice from him.

An awkward silence falls between them. He considers the possibility of ripping off his mask and watching her eyes widen to see that the Captain America has been her Shinichi all along. Maybe she will be so overwhelmed when she realizes that Shinichi always loved her. Maybe—

“Yo Cap! You okay here?”

Shinichi looks up to see Iron Man hovering above the building they’re on, waving at them a little too cheerfully. “Yup, we’re good.” He shouts back, shooing Iron Man away and inwardly groaning because.. of course, Iron Man just has to come and disrupt what could be a romantic night of revelation for him and Ran.

He turns his gaze to her, wanting to reach for her soft hands.

“So.......that's really spandex huh.”

Shinichi coughs and straightens up in an attempt to cover up the fact that he has almost leaned into her face. “Ah yeah, great for its flexibility and aerodynamic properties.”

“Y-you know… maybe you should, um, you should... try to wear underwear next time.”

“Huh?” Usually when Shinichi has imagined Ran talking about underwear, he has imagined it to be in slightly different circumstances and usually about the removal of it.

“You-you can kinda see everything,” Ran mumbles almost incoherently, gesturing to his lower region with her face boiling red. In a split second, she turns to run to the exit door at a speed he’s never realized she could achieve before.

Shinichi glances down and realizes with a lurch of his stomach that yes, indeed, not much was left to the imagination. He splutters in an attempt to explain himself but Ran has already disappeared down the fire escape stairs. The love of Shinichi's young life is gone, just like that.

Iron Man lands next to him, patting him on the shoulder, out of pity or pride, Shinichi doesn’t know.

“Nothin’ to worry about, Cap. You've got some nice junk in the trunk.”

#Detective Conan #Kudo Shinichi #Mouri Ran #ShinRan #Captain America #Iron Man #shush things got kinda out of hand as I was doing this drabble idk #I've been wearing my avengers tees all week and I can't get America's Ass out of my mind so I channeled it here TuT #also #hng any takes on who Iron Man is lmao #DCMKEmogust2020

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ao3feed-hannor · 4 years ago

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SILK_OVER_STEEL PART 1

read it on the AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/29213268

by saltwater_oracle

In a post-peaceful revolution world, Hank and Connor remain partners on the force. But Connor hasn't put his mind to work since the deviancy investigation, and he's starting to get bored. Enter Clover, a prickly criminal with android-like prostheses. When Clover's work puts Hank in danger, a clueless Connor must hunt down the woman who held his best friend at gunpoint. (Part 1 of a 2-part slow-slow-slow burn leading up to a cat and mouse chase.) (Contains violence, domestic violence & drug abuse.)

Words: 1953, Chapters: 2/7, Language: English

Series: Part 1 of SILK_OVER_STEEL SERIES

Fandoms: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/M

Characters: Hank Anderson, Connor (Detroit: Become Human), RK800 "Connor" Android(s) (Detroit: Become Human), Gavin Reed, Original Female Character(s), Ben Collins (Detroit: Become Human), Jeffrey Fowler, Original Non-Binary Character, Original Android Character(s) (Detroit: Become Human), Sumo (Detroit: Become Human)

Relationships: Connor (Detroit: Become Human) & Original Female Character(s), Hank Anderson/Connor, Hank Anderson & Connor, Hank Anderson & Connor & Sumo, Hank Anderson/Connor/Sumo, Connor/Sumo (Detroit: Become Human)

Additional Tags: Slow Burn, Crime Fighting, Drug Addiction, Drug Abuse, Domestic Violence, Prequel, Post-Peaceful Android Revolution (Detroit: Become Human), Hank Anderson and Connor Live Together, Hank Anderson & Connor Parent-Child Relationship, Hank Anderson & Connor Friendship, Hank Anderson and Connor On A Case, Murder, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Connor Deserves Happiness, Adorable Connor, Snarky Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Suicidal Thoughts

read it on the AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/29213268

#IFTTT #ao3feed #hannor #hank x connor #detroit become human

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jolinar · 4 years ago

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A Very Star Wars Fictober, Day 16!

Prompt number: #16 “I never wanted anything else”

Fandom: Star Wars

Rating: Teen and up

Warnings/Tags: hostage situation, excessive silliness

Word Count: 1236

Summary: Poe Dameron is captured by the galaxy’s worst bounty hunter and talks his way out of a hostage situation with his hands tied behind his back. (Or, how the Resistance gained a pastry chef)

Read it on Ao3

For neither the first, nor the last time in his Resistance career, Poe Dameron found himself tied to a chair in a darkened room.

On this occasion, he was nursing a headache and being held at gunpoint by a particularly scruffy looking bounty hunter. Well, he said he was a bounty hunter, but he looked just like some. He was maybe 18, face pockmarked by acne and the small, sad wisps of a beard clinging to his upper lip.

“Do you want to know what I’ll do with the reward money I get from the First Order for turning you in?”

Poe smiled brightly at his captor. “I never wanted anything else.” Come on Snap, where the hell are you? His friend and squadmate couldn't have been more than fifteen feet away in the crowd when this kid had jumped him out of nowhere and dragged him off. Plus the kid had neglected to remove any of Poe's communications equipment, so his commlink with its tracker was still pinned to his jacket.

“You won’t be so chipper when General Hux gets his hands on you.”

“Oh, old Hugs and I go way back.” Poe glanced around the room, what he could see of it, playing for time. If he could just keep this guy talking long enough for his team to find him, they could still salvage this mission. “And you can stop pointing that gun at me, I know they want me alive.”

“They didn’t say anything about un-injured. I could...uh, break your kneecaps. Yeah! I could do that.”

Poe tutted and shook his head. “Kneecaps? Really. That’s so overdone. Are you new at this? Because it feels like you’re new at this.” The bounty hunter glared and Poe knew he’d struck a nerve. He decided to gamble and push further anyway. “Why are you doing this, anyway?”

“Doing...this?” The kid tilted his head at Poe in confusion.

“Being a bounty hunter.”

“Well, it’s like the saying goes, 'the hours are good,'” the kid recited. Then he considered a moment and added, “But if I’m honest --”

“Honesty’s the best policy, I always say,” interjected Poe.

“-- honestly, most of the actual minutes are bad.”

“So then why do it?”

“Well...I want to get off this planet?”

“Sure, of course, it’s a shithole. Totally understand. What else?”

“Ummm, well, you know...”

“I really don’t,” Poe replied. He had just about worked his left hand free. This guy really wasn’t any good at knots.

Meanwhile, the would-be bounty hunter had put down the gun and was running a hand nervously through his already messy hair. It was standing all on end, giving him the impression of having been struck by lightning. “My aunt always said that being a bounty hunter was a good career for a young guy. And there’s not a lot else to do around here for cash...”

“I’m a great entry-level thing, sure,” said Poe, continuing to work the knots, ”but if you could be doing anything right now, what would it be?”

“Turning you in and collecting the bounty," he replied, automatically. He picked up his blater again and jabbed it at Poe for emphasis.

Poe nodded, conceding the point. “Sure, of course, but taking the whole bounty thing out of the question, what if I told you that I could get you off this planet?”

The bounty hunter regarded him skeptically. “What do you mean?”

“You untie me, let me go, and I can get you off this planet. I’ve already got bribes in place to get through the blockade, what’s one more person? You’d be ready to start a new life. So what would you do with it? And don’t say be a bounty hunter because -- and don’t take this the wrong way -- I’ve known a lot of bounty hunters and you’re just not cut out for the life, kid.”

“Well, my aunt says --”

“Never mind your aunt. She’s staying behind, remember? If I get you out of here, what are you going to do?”

“Well...I have been working really hard on my macaron technique. I’ve tested out some new flavor combinations, too. If I could perfect them...maybe sell them...”

“Set up your own shop?”

The kid looked at Poe with a mixture of shock, disbelief, and hope. “You’d really do that? My own shop?”

“I’m assuming you got some kind of dossier with that bounty, you know who I’m with?”

“The…” he lowered his voice to a whisper, even though they were alone in the room, “The Resistance. I’ve heard about you.”

“Great, then you’ve heard that we’re in the business of helping people.”

“I heard you’re in the business of blowing up First Order targets.”

“Well, that too, but in between all that, we help people. So I get you off of this planet, drop you off somewhere ready to start a new life wherever you want. We’re already bribed our way off of the planet. What do you say?”

There was a long, protracted silence. Poe wondered if he’d overstepped. He had his left hand free and was working on the right, so it wouldn’t matter one way or the other in about 3 minutes. He’d be able to overpower his captor and get back on track. But, and he hated to admit it, he kinda felt bad for this kid. And it might be cleaner if he did this without leaving behind a body.

Poe was pulled from his thoughts as the kid said, tentatively: “Do...do you want to try some of my macarons?”

“I never wanted anything else,” said Poe solemnly.

Half an hour later, Snap Wexley came bursting into the room to find his squadron leader not tied up and close to death as he’d feared...but sitting on a countertop with a plate full of colorful sandwich cookies.

“Snap! Oh hey, you can put the gun down. This is our new friend Felix, formerly the bounty hunter known as Urdnot. You have got to try some of his macaroons.”

“Macarons,” the former bounty hunter corrected cheerfully, grabbing the plate and approaching Snap. “I’ve got a rose one just over here, I'd love to get your opinion...”

Nonplussed, Snap looked to Poe for direction. Poe nodded pointedly, so he reached out to select one of the proffered macarons.

“This is a damn good cookie,” said Snap, around a mouthful of crumbs.

Poe nodded in agreement. “Aren’t they? You know, Felix, forget dropping you off on a new planet, we could use someone like you in the Resistance…”

---

“Poe.”

“General Organa, ma'am.”

“I just got the report from Black Squadron’s last mission. Everything was in order, you completed the task and extracted the target. All in all, well done.”

“Thank you. I’ll pass that on to the team.”

“Except…” she held tapped a readout in front of her. “These expenses...30 pounds of almond flour? Do you have any idea how much it costs to -- “

Poe slid a small box across the console. She raised an eyebrow but pulled it towards her. Inside was an assortment of macarons.

"If I might make a recommendation, -- Black Squadron is unanimous on preferring the salted caramel ones. They're the light brown ones."

Still incredulous, Leia bit into a cookie. As she chewed, her eyes lit up. Poe nodded sagely.

"Well done, Captain Dameron. Please tell our new recruit, from me -- Welcome to the Resistance."

#fictober20 #mae writes #a very star wars fictober #star wars fanfiction #sw fanfic #poe dameron #snap wexley #macarons

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bellamygateoldblog · 5 years ago

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best and worst relationships?

There’s a lot of varables to consider here, and I’m feeling sick and bored out of my mind, so i’m going the long way round. This is a nightmare to read on mobile, im so sorry.

‘Best’ and ‘Worst’ labels depend on a number of things:

— Story of the pairing

— General intrigue and how enjoyable their dynamic is to watch

— Chemistry of the two (or more) characters

— Presence (or lack of) valuable relationship qualities (is this relationship healthy according to the world it exists in?)

and the importance of each of those differs from person-to-person.

Note: Sticking to popular relationships. I’ve blocked names, but I’m also throwing it under a Read More because it’s long and negative. It’s largely anticlarke because she’s a terrifying character and her mere existence derails most of her dynamics. Ship and like whatever you like, I hate fandom gatekeeping. But you asked so let’s go.

There’s also no order to this. Welcome to chaos land.

Best ‘Best’ List: objectively good relationships

— Linctavia

— Marper

— Spacekru

— David and Nate Miller

— Raven and Sinclair

Unconditional love, mutual respect and support, found family, would die (and live) for the other. I can’t find fault in them.

Memori

I had a bit more to say about this one because there’s something so highly romantic in two people abandoned by their clan, cast out, finding each other in a literal desert wasteland. Like they’re each other’s oasis. In meeting Emori, Murphy finally found acceptance after spending far too long alone, and being told he was worthless by people who’s approval meant something. And Emori having someone prepared to do whatever it takes to protect her and make her happy is everything I could’ve wanted for her. They’re so deeply in love.

Best List

Becho (pre-season six)

Your local enemies-to-lovers. partnership over co-dependency. Compromise. Affection and emotional support from both sides. Willing to throw themselves right into line-of-fire for the other. A cut ‘i love her’ scene which i’ve personally decided wasn’t cut. I LOVE THEM.

Arguments against:

- ‘killed’ Gina (moreso she aided her death) while acting on orders from her superiors

- ‘killed’ Octavia while acting on orders from her superiors

- killed Ilian/ attempted to help Roan win conclave over Octavia

- almost killed Clarke (season five)

- happened offscreen

Arguments to discredit previous arguments because I’m sick and tired of seeing them in the pro tags:

- Echo was Bellamy’s enemy through those first three listed events. Bellamy had no reason to expect loyalty or respect, or anything else from her. She was always looking out for her people just as Bellamy was his own. That was quite clear.

- In fact she actually tried to help Gina because she was important to Bellamy, apologised that she couldn’t and did save Bellamy’s life despite their enemy status.

- ‘killing’ Octavia was not in cold blood. It was actually an accident.

- This one is nonsense. She wanted to kill Clarke during season five “even though she’s important to Bellamy”…after she just left him to brutally die and held Echo and her family at gunpoint and threatened to kill them. Context matters.

- not a fan of the time jump either, but if you’re able to accept the Madi-Clarke relationship which also developed offscreen, you can deal with this one.

Hard to talk about this one without defending it. Echo deserves better than season six Bellamy, who would abandon her in order to chase a woman he knew for 6-ish months 6 years ago. I say it’s his loss.

Jonty

It was a beautiful relationship and then a beautiful breakdown of one. I really enjoyed their dynamic. About to get controversial and suggest Monty could’ve taken a different approach with Jasper. I’ve never committed genocide and had to learn to live with it while watching my best friend suffer from the decision, but I do have clinical depression and somewhat relate to Jasper. There was this scene, where in the background you see Jasper go to hug Monty goodbye and he avoids it. It was such a small but sad detail. I felt Monty wanted Jasper to deal with his grief in a certain way and got frustrated when he didn’t. Sometimes he could be insensitive and blaming, and i think had there been more communication their friendship could’ve been very healing for the both of them. I think we learn at one point Jasper actually thought Monty was “fine” and didn’t even realise or understand that Monty hurt too. Jasper had this tendancy to only consider his own feelings, and this put a rift between them. Tough love doesn’t work for everyone, and I think Monty’s sometimes cold approach held that rift in place. The simple fact that both sides are so easy to understand and empathise with, and that this gradual undoing of what was once an incredibly strong bond was inevitable, made watching it all wonderfully bittersweet.

Zaven

This was good, but it was so rushed it made me bitter towards them. While it was Raven being thrown with yet another random guy, this did strike me as much more meaningful than her fling with Wick and I think it would’ve been a lovely relationship had it been able to continue. I think this was that love Raven deserved. It’s a damn shame it was used as just another level of torture for her. I think if they had let it develop more naturally and not been so full-on so soon, and of course if the actor hadn’t opted to leave the show, this would’ve been up on my best ‘best’ list.

Dropping this here: being intelligent isn’t actually important when pairing Raven up. Fandom acts like she needs someone “on her level” or “at her speed” (shudders), someone to challenge her, which has always come across as very demeaning of characters with less intellectual capacity, as if they’re less than Raven because of this when they are absolutely not. This mentality also denies Raven of partners that can value her and treat her well just because they aren’t Stephan Hawking. A romance isn’t a competition or a class project. Shaw was good for her, not because of what his brain could do, but because of who he was.

Bellamy and Octavia

This bitch toxic, YEET. I adore it. I really do. It’s such an intriuging and complex dynamic. The poisonous nature of their relationship is neither of their own faults, they’re both a victim of their own circumstances and, in Octavia’s case, a lack of socialisation and, by extension, non-understanding of grey area is also intrinsicaly linked to it. They truely love one another, but aren’t learned in how to show this in healthy ways. Makes that back-and-forth an entertaining watch.

Main grievance:

Beating your brother bloody while he’s chained down and unable to defend himself against you is disturbing and inexcusable in any context, and whether or not you’re grieving is irrelevant.

Neutral List

C//exa

Placing this one here just because i don’t care about this relationship, but did like bits and pieces. I think this one ended before it even started. For me most of it’s appeal is in the gradual moulding of the dynamic and the many phases it went through. I did find intrigue in that journey. However the fact the show reminds me at least a few times a season that Lexa was the one has me digging my heels in. I hate being told what to think.

I don’t really remember it all that well so I don’t necessarily have strong opinions. I know some people do. At this point in the show I was growing more and more annoyed with Clarke, and eventually i went from liking Lexa to being indifferent to her, so a dynamic consisting of them both was the least interesting thing in the world to me by the time it started heating up.

I will say this is probably one of the only significant relationships Clarke has where she doesn’t ultimately have more power than the other half. There isn’t a mechanism there that allows one to use to do harm to the other to advantage themselves; Lexa is the commander, but Clarke is constantly pushing back and Lexa respects and listens to what she has to say. There is literally a shot of Clarke backing the most powerful person on the ground into a table. I think Clarke was a positive influence on Lexa, but during this time Clarke was slipping into worse and worse versions of herself.

Some thoughts:

I found it was innappropriate for Clarke, as a leader of her people who’s primary concern is supposed to be what’s best for them, to have become romantically involved with the commander of the people they hadn’t a stable relationship with, and who ultimately has the power to strip them of all freedoms. It’s so easy for those romantically and sexually charged feelings to cloud and confuse what are extremely important considerations to be made about the people back home. It wasn’t a very responsible relationship.

On the flipside of that, from this relationship Lexa was convinced to grow into peace. Which is quite obviously a positive affect. Though I found it was odd that Clarke, just a random teenage girl from space, would be (successfully) telling the commander how to manage her people when she herself was not at home overseeing the climate of her own. It just has some very weird implications.

Lexa’s betrayal at mount weather, actually a very silly and counter-productive decision, was what forced Clarke to lose her humanity in what was the most traumatic event of her entire life. The fact it was forgiven so easily was hard for me to get over.

M//rphamy

Season five was good for them. It seemed as if they’d grown, were much closer, more respectful, and more affectionate. Then season six happened, and Bellamy was back to treating Murphy like he was beneath everyone. He started again to talk about how therapeutic it would be to hurt him, as he has, physically, many times in the past. Just tearing open old wounds at this point. In season five he reminded Murphy he wasn’t worthless, that he did belong with the group, but in season six he went back on all that, and put Clarke ahead of him at every turn, and prioritied her feelings over his very real pain. They’ve had a complicated history of violence, usually coming from Bellamy’s more hot-headed side.

I put this here because it’s an immensely compelling dynamic. These characters work well together, there’s heaps of chemistry and allure in each of their interactions. It’s just an entertaining time whenever they share scenes. But despite that, I don’t know where I stand with them and I don’t know where they stand with each other as of season six.

Worst List

Be//arke

There is a mess of negative thoughts inspired by this relationship about proportionate to the amount it’s shoved in my face. Clarke is just no good for Bellamy. Is the concise way of putting it.

Here’s a list of some of them which I usually like to bury deep inside my head for sanity purposes:

Ignoring whether or not actions were for the people/the only option and focusing solely on how the relationship is affected by them regardless

- Clarke has a tendancy to view the most important person (pre-season five) in Bellamy’s life as necessary collateral damage. She has brought/almost brought harm to Octavia on multiple occasions, the two most notable being TonDC and the conclave. Both while being on the same side as Bellamy from a political standpoint, and both while his friend who he had reason to expect affirmation, consideration, and loyalty from. Clarke betrays those key values. This happens again in season five when Clarke’s Plan-A solution is to “take her out.”

( this is also what sets her apart from Echo, who was never in the position to make her own choices. Clarke has that agency and control that Echo’s superiors had, but never Echo. )

- and saying that, I think it’s incredibly hard for Clarke to maintain any meaningful relationships being in the position she’s in. How do you have friends when you have to always put them second?

- speaking of the conclave, Clarke held Bellamy at gunpoint in order to prevent him saving his sister’s life. She said she “didn’t pull the trigger” and that was that. All is forgiven. However she did pull the trigger in what was an attempt to scare him into submission so I really don’t even know what to say here. The writers kinda forgot?

- they aren’t equal. They haven’t been co-leaders since season one. He was demoted almost immediately to second-in-command beneath Clarke. Clarke is the leader, the literal head. She makes the choices while Bellamy gets her out of the trouble she usually gets herself into, risking himself and others in the process. It’s a racist trope. It’s the ‘white princess and her brown knight.’ She has agency and power and he’s her loyal soldier, subordinate. Inequality isn’t inherently a bad thing but this power imbalance between them is utilised in harmful ways.

- speaking of “the good knight by his queen’s side,” this comes across as codependency. Clarke relies on Bellamy’s support, validation and loyalty, while ‘the heart needs the head to tell it to beat.’ That’s paraphrased from season six, that’s an actual line in the show. Bellamy needs her to guide him, to “keep [him] centred,” that’s another line from the show. That’s still not enough? He literally tells us in season six that he needs her, and has needed her in the past if his psychosis episode is anything to go by. He has impeccably low self esteem and views himself less than. I mean if you need further convincing of they’re inequality, just look to their places on the ark which are quickly reinstated once it reaches the ground. Clarke is upper class, she’s later the daughter of the chancellor, she comes from a loving family, from one of (if not, the) more well-off stations, she’s educated and she has passions, but Bellamy? From the poorest ark station, raised by an emotionally abusive mother, a janitor, his whole motivation his entire life has been to love and protect Octavia. I think a lot of this devotion he has for her comes from a place of idolisation, of seeing something in her he wants for himself.

- now this ugly trope could also come from an absense of Octavia. The moment they get to the ground Octavia is on a journey of self-discovery. And eventually, she becomes her own protector, and she finds a home in Lincoln. So naturally Bellamy looks for the closest relationship he can find that resembles that old one. It’s Bellamy and Clarke. Now, instead of Octavia, he’s driven by and found purpose in protecting Clarke. In fact, the Clarke-Bellamy dynamic has so many similarities to the Octavia-Bellamy one I can absolutely see the sibling like quality to Be//arke.

- Clarke abandons Bellamy after mount weather. She leaves because she can’t bare the reminder of “what [she] did to get them here.” So she leaves and instead Bellamy is the one forced to see the faces of the 48 every day, reminding him of what he did to get them there. Clarke comes across as completely oblivious in this entire situation. Bellamy and Monty are both written using the word “we” to refer to the mount weather genocide, but Clarke? It’s “I” and “me” every time. It’s as if she truely believes she’s the only one suffering from it, she’s bearing it so they don’t have to, except that isn’t true at all and that fact is so painfully clear. Later she tells him she knew she could leave because the people had him, but who did Bellamy have? He dealt with that weight and that grief alone because the only other person who could possibly understand, the one who pulled the lever with him, ran away. After she had convinced him not to in season one. She then comes back informing him she’d been acting on behalf of her people in Polis, without the people’s own knowledge or consent, but i digress, and he’d just ruined everything. So much for co-leaders. And he blows up at her, and we see how badly this action hurt him.

- In season five she leaves him to die out of spite and took her daughter to the people he saved her from at the beginning of the season. It could’ve been avoided, but she decided to punish him. That’s all it was. Don’t give me none of that “I had to!!!” she screams in season six to mindspace!Octavia. Bellamy was forced into role of father at just 6 years old and has proved time and time again he was prepared to risk it all in order to protect his child, there was nobody more equipped to handle Madi than him and her yelling in his face that he couldn’t understand was perhaps the biggest betrayal of them all.

- In season five she tortured and almost murdered his entire family. After switching sides again at the end of the season, all this pain inflicted was meaningless. You can talk all you want at me about Clarke’s *reasons* but all she did was take the path of most destruction towards the same end-point. It was just unnecessary violence caused because she had this desperation to take the wheel.

- all of this works because the writing is always in Clarke’s favour. The show is framed in a way that makes Clarke sympathetic, emphasises how much causing others pain hurts her, and that means that she’s never held to any of these actions, she might get a stern talking to but she’s forgiven insanely easily and allowed to go on with no actual change.

Pr//ncess M//chanic

Unfortunately, from what i’ve gathered, there’s a lot of racism in this one just as there is in Be//arke. I mean the entire nature of the relationship relies on the elevation of Clarke and the narrative power to demote Raven to ‘second best’ and prop over and over again. Raven, a girl who works her ass off to make most of the victories in the show possible, actually spoke the words “she saved us again” after launching a pod from an exploding planet into space and fixing the ark while space walking. It’s mindblowing. Raven’s (and others’) successes are handed to Clarke on a silver platter and we’re just meant to eat that up and blindly accept that Clarke is our one true saviour. I’m not going into this because it makes me feel sick and Raven deserved better.

Unrelated thoughts:

I don’t see their relationship as friendly at all post-season two. I got the impression Raven actually didn’t like Clarke, but it was all very complicated.

I also think it’s terribly convinient Raven never found out the true nature of Clarke’s relationship with Lexa because I don’t believe she would’ve ever been okay about Clarke again if she had (if the writers were going for realistic).

Madi/Clarke/Abby

Clarke strapped a torture device around her daughter’s neck for means of control and activated it under the guise of protection and that isn’t okay in any world or any context. Madi is a little girl who is dependant on Clarke and Clarke betrayed that trust. Those shock collars were used on her early in the season, she experienced the torture herself and still used it on her child. A lot of Clarke’s more unfavourable and/or unhealthy behaviours and characteristic are also present in Abby, which leads me to believe those are a product of her upbringing. Like mother like daughter, Abby also electrocuted Raven. Abby and Clarke have this strange rival-like relationship and I find it particularly cold, maybe because they’re so similar.

Abby and Raven

Abby has physically harmed Raven more than once. Out of anger and spite, or out of desperation. People hurting each other on this show is pretty standard and while this isn’t as overwhelming a mistreatment compared to others, her hitting Raven while she was acting chancellor was a pretty gross abuse of power. Its a visual display, with Abby’s imposing figure looming over a sitting and emotionally vulnerable Raven. We’re supposed to view this, i think, as mother-daughter. Abby says very early season one that Raven reminds her of Clarke, but she’s never shown treating Clarke in the way she does Raven. I liked the relationship during season one. From then and with Abby’s slow descent into villainy, not so much.

Ontari and Murphy

*She raped him. Next.

Cl//phy

Clarke is a cause/reason, whether direct or indirect, of a huge chunk of Murphy’s suffering, all of which she’s never been held accountable for due to Murphy’s position as undesirable. I, along with Murphy, had to be told she cares about him in season six because her otherwise complete disregard for his life has been pretty apparent.

Notable mention:

Chaining up him and Emori like dogs and promising to sacrifice the woman he loves, against her will, for the greater good after he saved her life. He has to beg her, plead with her and her almighty god complex, and it’s all quite uncomfortable and eery. (She later draws a picture of this event in her sketchbook which is…kinda weird.) And, in true Clarke fashion, she refuses to accept responsibility for this action and hides behind the same old trend of gaslighting and screaming “i had to!!!” I can’t root for a friendship between these two no matter how fun their back-and-forth can be. Especially since I can’t recall a single time they’ve shared a nice moment. Oh, and here’s a post about why Clarke and Murphy will never bond over isolation and survival.

*The clashing of Ontari and Murphy’s personalities was hilarious and I enjoyed watching them on screen together.

#the 100 #anticlarke #antibellarke #anti princess mechanic #anti bellarke #finally free of this question #the100meta #tw; child abuse #tw; rape #ro.answers

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ao3feed-brucewayne · 2 months ago

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jealous; you green-eyed fool

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/KuU1Q9X by prolocity “I get that! Really I do,” Hal put his hands up under clarks interrogating eyes. It felt like he was being held at gunpoint, and honestly, it was worse than that. He could fry his brains so quickly there wouldn't even be a noise. “I guess some old habits die hard.” Clark raised his eyebrow and his lip curled. It felt like being cornered by a parent who found something on your phone. Except this wasn't him as a kid anymore, and the consequences were not just “You're Grounded,” it was “I'll Kill You With My Super Strength And Other Worldly Abilities.” “Yknow, when I was growing up the guy was basically a wet dream! And I know that might sound absolutely gross coming from a friend, let alone co-worker, but I sure as hell won't be saying these things anymore." A beat of silence passed. Shit. He rambled, and he rambled about his coworker's husband. To his coworker. 'Yeah I think the guy’s an absolute hunk! And I'd bend him over the first chance I got! But no need to worry sir! You can trust me not to hit on your husband!!' .. A story in which Clark talks to Hal about some of the unsavory thoughts Hal has about Bruce. Then Clark shares some... feelings with Bruce. Ifykwim. Words: 5584, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Series: Part 3 of Superbat October!! (2024) Fandoms: Superman - All Media Types, Batman - All Media Types, DCU Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: M/M Characters: Clark Kent, Bruce Wayne, Hal Jordan (Green Lantern) Relationships: Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne Additional Tags: Protective Clark Kent, Rough Kissing, Rough Sex, But its also a bit gentle, Clark Kent Feels, Embarrassed Hal Jordan, Bottom Bruce Wayne, Praise Kink (Only a bit), Top Clark Kent, Biting, Marking, Not too much, Banter, Confused Hal Jordan (Green Lantern), Clark is pretty pissed, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Accidental Voyeurism, (But Clark intends it), Hot Sex, Sweet/Hot, Gross Hal Jordan, Not Beta Read, Clark is pisssseddd, Clark Kent Has a Large Penis, Bruce is oblivious to their whole feud, just sex tbh read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/KuU1Q9X

#IFTTT #bruce wayne #batman #the caped crusader #the dark knight #dcu #ao3 #ao3feed

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albapuella · 4 years ago

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How to Lose a Lover in 10 Days or Less: A Comprehensive Guide to Becoming a Future Romantic Failure (Chapter Three)

AO3

Fandom: Homestuck

Summary: How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days AU Dave needs to win a bet; Karkat needs to write an article. Shenanigans ensue.

Tags: Humanstuck, alternate universe - no sburb session, POV switches galore, implied/referenced child abuse Author’s note: This story is the result of a jam session I did with aceAdoxography on the davekat thirst federation discord server. This one's a little out of my usual wheelhouse, but I hope you will enjoy reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it. New chapters every Saturday/Sunday. Didn’t bother with the formatting this time: You want the fancy formatting, go to AO3 :D

Day 3:

Since Karkat had not managed to scare Dave off with the... outburst yesterday, he figured he’d hooked the idiot as well as he was ever going to. Which meant it was time to start fucking it up. He did his best to ignore the sense of loss already forming in his chest at the thought. Whatever frustrations he’d felt during that hang out/date thing Dave had put him through yesterday, he couldn’t deny that he’d enjoyed the experience, too.

Dave was a dork who talked too much, but he was also witty and charming in a maladroit sort of way. And it had been nice to have someone appreciate Karkat’s sense of humor in return. For once. A part of him wished he had longer to enjoy their time together, but he knew better.

Since he knew better, he also knew it wasn’t the time to mope. It was time to go on the full offensive. “Offensive” being the operative word. In this case, it meant acting like himself. Karkat had been on his best behavior up to this point, and now he’d show Dave who the “real him” really was. If he played his cards right, he probably wouldn’t even have to go on another date to seal the deal.

Karkat felt his eyes ache, and he hated himself for being such an idiot. He’d known this wasn’t going to last—even without his article, it never would have lasted. He’d already proven a countless number of times that, while a fairly good friend, he was simply terrible as a romantic partner. Dave was just one more guy he’d never really had a chance with. Just one more tally mark to add to his failures.

---

When Dave woke up the next day, he saw that he had quite a few messages waiting for him. A handful from Rose about wedding plans (with a reminder of the dress code, because of course her wedding would have a fully defined dress code). A bunch from his far-flung friend Jade (mostly telling a story which did not require more than a quick “cool” on his part). A couple from John (who was excited that he’d be seeing Dave at the wedding). There were also several from Karkat. Which was kind of a relief: Dave hadn’t liked that he’d been the first one to message him all the time: it made him feel like he was bugging the guy. Especially after waking him up yesterday.

CG: OKAY ASSHOLE, HERE’S THE DEAL:

CG: YOU WANT TO DATE THE REAL ME. FINE.

CG: I AM DONE BEING ON MY BEST BEHAVIOR.

CG: BE PREPARED FOR ME TO COMMENT ON EVERY INANITY THAT DRIBBLES FROM YOUR MOUTH LIKE THE LEAVINGS OF AN INCONTINENT PIGEON.

CG: YOU ARE NOT HALF AS FUNNY AS YOU THINK YOU ARE. ALSO YOUR “RAPS” ARE AN AFFRONT TO THE GENRE AS WELL AS TO THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE.

CG: IF YOU THINK I AM JOKING OR BEING “CUTE”, YOU ARE WRONG. A STATE YOU SHOULD BE EXTREMELY FAMILIAR WITH BECAUSE YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY SUFFERING FROM AT LEAST MODERATE BRAIN DAMAGE.

CG: I AM NOT NOR HAVE I EVER BEEN “A SNACK”. I ALSO DO NOT HAVE A “SEXY PROFESSOR THING GOING”. IN THE ENTIRE SPAN OF MY MISERABLE EXISTENCE, I HAVE NEVER BEEN ANYTHING WHICH COULD BE CONSIDERED TO BE IN EVEN THE MEAGEREST OF WAYS “SEXY”.

CG: MAYBE YOU WOULD BE ABLE TO SEE THAT FOR YOURSELF IF YOU EVER TOOK OFF THOSE DOUCHE SHADES YOU ARE ALWAYS WEARING.

CG: I HOPE YOU HAVE ENJOYED THIS SMALL TASTE OF WHAT IS TO COME IN YOUR FUTURE SHOULD YOU DECIDE TO KEEP DATING ME.

Dave read the messages a few times, frowning. Mostly, he felt confused, too confused to feel either amused or insulted. Sudden. This was sudden. Also, the more he read the messages, the more he thought Karkat was being more mean to himself than to Dave. His inner Rose (the voice which sounded like Rose but was not nearly as smart as the real thing) said that Karkat was lashing out, hoping to hurt Dave before Dave could hurt him.

And wasn’t that sad?

TG: first of all

TG: you are a total snack

TG: this is not negotiable

TG: do not pass go do not collect 200 dollars

TG: not to be all objectifying or whatever

TG: but that was literally the first thing i thought when i saw you

TG: that guy is a total snack

TG: and fuck you you are sexy

TG: i bet you look even better without the sweater

TG: you are the bank and im the debtor

TG: payin compliments is my cheddar

TG: need proof read the letter

TG: dear mr vantas you are hella sexy signed me

CG: OH MY GOD.

CG: THAT WAS THE PART YOU CHOSE TO FOCUS ON. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND YOU AT ALL. MOST PEOPLE DON’T LIKE BEING INSULTED. IS THIS A KINK FOR YOU? IS THAT WHAT THIS IS? ARE YOU A FUCKING MASOCHIST?

Dave was grinning so much his cheeks hurt. Nailed it.

TG: im not a masochist

TG: but i think i might be getting a thing for grumpy assholes

TG: it needs more testing

TG: how about we hang out for a few hours today

TG: and see

“CG is typing” appeared and disappeared several times.

CG: REALLY. YOU REALLY WANT TO KEEP DATING ME.

TG: yea unless you dont want to keep dating me

TG: i hope you do

TG: want to keep dating me

TG: i want to know you better

TG: and kiss you sometime

This time the “CG is typing” message went on for quite a while. Dave wondered if maybe he shouldn’t have sent that last message. Then again, he’d already called the guy sexy several times; saying he wanted to kiss him wasn’t weird.

CG: IF YOU’RE SURE YOU WANT TO KEEP DOING THIS, THEN FINE. OKAY. I THINK I WANT TO GET TO KNOW YOU BETTER TOO. JUST REMEMBER I GAVE YOU AMPLE WARNING OF WHAT THE REAL ME IS LIKE. WHEN I INEVITABLY END UP HURTING YOUR FEELINGS, YOU WILL HAVE NO ONE TO BLAME BUT YOURSELF.

TG: score

---

After, unwisely, agreeing to meet Dave at the park again before going to some secret secondary date destination he had in mind, Karkat slipped his phone into his pocket in a daze. He was still reeling. Where had he misjudged this situation? He’d been certain he’d done enough to scare Dave away, and yet, here he was with another date to prepare for. Masochism or brain damage—those were the only options. Considering how much Dave had insisted on Karkat’s attractiveness, he was leaning towards the latter.

Of course, the words alone were only half of the total package. Even Dave would find difficulty deriving whatever enjoyment he got out of Karkat’s insults when they were being delivered at an ear-ringing volume. Karkat heaved a deep sigh. All he had to do was be himself on this date. That had always been enough for every other person he’d dated to leave him. Dave would be no different: he was just dumber, so it was taking him longer to get with the program.

* Thinks I’m “sexy”. Definite brain damage. Probable masochist. Raps have not increased in quality but I’m starting to get used to them.

---

The problem was Dave knew what he liked to do, what he found fun, but he didn’t know Karkat well enough yet to have much of an idea of what Karkat liked to do. Usually, Dave would have just asked, but seeing as Karkat had just been prepared to be dumped, he didn’t think the question would go over well.

When Dave approached the YO this time, Karkat was already sitting on the bench. His head was bowed over his notepad, and he was furiously writing. Although tempted to look over his shoulder and see what he was doing, Dave decided not to. If it turned out to be something deeply personal, he’d feel like a creep.

Whatever it was held Karkat’s full attention. Dave could be very stealthy, but he wasn’t even trying to be quiet as he got closer. Finally, he was standing right beside where Karkat was sitting. Still nothing. Remembering the reaction he’d gotten the other day, he flopped down close to Karkat, making the other man jump. “Hey.”

Karkat brought his notepad up to his chest, hiding it, and glared. Despite his clear irritation and the roominess of the bench, he didn’t move away. “What the fuck, Dave? Are you incapable of conducting yourself like a normal person? Or am I just special?”

Dave grinned. Looked like Karkat had meant what he’d said about acting more like himself. “I don’t know, you are pretty special. Not in the Special Olympics way,” he hastened to add as he realized his compliment might not come across complimentary. “I mean, nothing against them, they’re great,” he continued, now realizing the actual insult he was now offering them and not wanting to be that guy, “but that’s not what I’m talking about.”

A sort of disbelieving half-smile. “Should I stop you now, or let you keep going?”

“Oh, definitely stop me,” Dave said, relieved. He gestured to the notepad Karkat was no longer holding so tightly against himself. “What are you working on?”

“Nothing important,” Karkat said brusquely, shoving the notepad into his bag as though it had personally offended him. “Something for my work.”

It occurred to Dave that he actually had no idea what Karkat did for a living. “What do you do?”

For a moment, Karkat only regarded him with deep suspicion. Then he sighed. “I write for Dubiously Cultured.” Apparently, Dave’s confusion showed on his face, for he elaborated, “It’s basically a gay Cosmo.” Then he frowned. “You know, a magazine with fashion tips? Make-up? Relationship advice?”

“Oh, yeah, of course,” Dave said quickly. The last thing he wanted was for his eyes to glaze over on his date like they did when Rose started talking about her magazine (whose title he could not recall at this moment if he’d been being held at gunpoint). “Are you writing an article? Laying down the keep your man tips for the masses?”

Even Karkat seemed surprised by the laughter abruptly bursting from him. “Something like that,” he said once he’d recovered. “You work as a DJ at the Glass, right?”

Honestly, Dave was shocked. He’d been sure Karkat had been just tuning him out! Then again, he had remembered he was from Texas, too. Maybe he just always looked bored and pissed off. “Yeah. It’s not super steady, but it pays the bills.” It actually didn’t pay the bills; Rose’s mom (his mom, she was also his mom) sent him money every month to pay for the apartment and various other expenses. However, his sad family history wasn’t exactly third date material. “You ever been?”

Karkat leveled Dave with a skeptical look which seemed to indicate his estimation of Dave’s intelligence had started low and was only getting lower. “Do I look like the kind of person that would get past a bouncer? Are you actually visually impaired, or are you making fun of me?” He shook his head. “I can see myself in the mirror, jackass; I know what I look like. Stop pretending I’m,” he held up his hands to make the finger quotes, ‘hot’.”

“I’m insulted you would think I’d lie about your hotness. You’re a fucking rooftop in the middle of a Texas summer. I should know; I’ve been there.” The metaphor stirred up memories Dave didn’t want to think about, and he wrapped an arm around Karkat’s shoulder. He immediately wished he’d done it sooner. “Anyway, I’ve already told you, you are a snack. You might as well accept it. It’s obvious. Everyone with eyes can see it. Not you, for some reason, but everyone else.”

“That’s just not true, Dave.” Before he could contest this, Karkat continued, “Most blind people still have eyes, idiot, and they can’t see anything, let alone support your dubious assertion that I’m attractive.” The words practically dripped with sarcasm even as he settled into Dave’s half-embrace. “You’re being so fucking insensitive right now.”

“Oh, shit, you’re right.” The part of Dave not worrying about the words flowing out of his mouth registered how nice and warm Karkat felt under his arm and pressed against his side. “Well, if they got to feel you up, they’d agree you were a snack, too. So, checkmate, Karkat. Check fucking mate. You’re just going to have to accept it. Majority vote. You’re a snack.”

Karkat looked up. “If you tell me you want to eat me, I’m leaving now and blocking your chumhandle.” Then his gaze shifted away. “This is nice,” he said, his voice softer than Dave had thought he was capable of. Maybe it was Dave’s burgeoning hearing loss, but he sounded… sad.

While Dave wanted to ask why he sounded so sad, he figured Karkat would tell him if he wanted him to know. After all, they still hadn’t known each other for very long yet. What was needed was a distraction, and Dave had just the thing to cheer both of them up. “If you think this is nice, you should be super excited for our date.”

---

Karkat had been feeling guilty again. It really had been nice, sitting on that bench in front of that giant art installation, to pretend that there was actually some sort of future for them. For him and Dave. Together. So, he’d been feeling guilty—even if he was an idiot who talked too much, Dave wasn’t a bad guy, and he didn’t deserve what Karkat planned on putting him through.

At least, that’s what Karkat had been thinking until they’d arrived at their final destination.

“A karaoke bar?” Karkat felt a scowl furrow his brow, and he turned it onto Dave, who had the audacity to be grinning at him. “It might interest you to know that I can’t fucking sing.”

Dave shrugged. “No one can at these places, Karkat. That’s why it’s fun.” He pushed his glasses down his nose, allowing Karkat the briefest glimpse of his eyes before he pushed them up again. “You’ve had fun before right? Or do we have to go slow and ease you into it, because fun is a hotel pool with a broken heater, and you haven’t raided the mini-bar yet.”

“Of course I know what fun is, you festering anal wart.” He saw himself ranting reflected in the lenses of Dave’s stupid glasses and looked away. “Fun is a walk in the park, or watching a movie, or going on a picnic, or playing a game. Fun is not embarrassing yourself in front of dozens of strangers by subjecting them to what can only laughingly be called your singing voice!” He started at the unexpected hand on his shoulder but made no move to shrug it off.

“Hey,” Dave said quietly, “if you really don’t want to be here, we can do something else. I don’t really know what you like yet outside of chick flicks. And writing for a magazine. And coming up with creative insults for me.” His grip on Karkat’s shoulder tightened slightly. “Help me out here, Karkat; I’m drowning with only seconds left to live. You’re the hot lifeguard, and I’m gonna need your sweet lips on mine fairly soon, or else I’m leaving the beach in a body bag. And no one wants that.”

Karkat turned back to face Dave. There were so many things to unpack in this latest offering of word vomit that he wasn’t even going to make the attempt. “Do you ever actually listen to the things you say?”

“I try not to,” Dave said blithely. “Messes with my flow.” Then the smile faded. “I mean it, though. If you want to go somewhere else, we totally can. I don’t have my heart set on this place; I just thought it’d be fun. Maybe you’d loosen up a little.”

“I am exactly as loose as I want to be,” Karkat sniped back, tacitly admitting that now he was the one saying stupid things. As much as he wanted to make things difficult for Dave for the sake of his article, he really couldn’t deny being touched that Dave was willing to change his plans because Karkat had complained about them.

Besides, while Karkat could be (and often was) loudly unpleasant and vulgar, it wasn’t the kind of thing he could force. He had to feel it. And he wasn’t feeling it. “No, we can stay. Just are there private rooms?”

Dave was frowning, perhaps in displeasure, perhaps in thought. “We can check.”

---

It turned out that there were private rooms, but they were prohibitively expensive. If this had been something Karkat had really wanted to do, Dave would have shelled out the cash, but he’d known he’d made the right call to spend the date elsewhere when he’d given Karkat the verdict and his shoulders had immediately relaxed.

Although Karkat had also protested that he wasn’t much better at bowling than he was at singing, he’d seemed less agitated about the prospect. He’d actually smiled a little when Dave had confided that he, too, wasn’t much of a bowler. Dave also wasn’t much of a drinker, but when Karkat offered to buy him a beer, he’d accepted it.

Dave was currently sipping his apple? flavored ale from the chair in their section of the alley and watching Karkat lob yet another ball down the gutter. This made, what? the tenth in a row? Dave had managed via blind luck to hit a strike with his first shot—a feat he had not been able to repeat—and that had pissed Karkat off like nothing else. Each additional failure to even get his ball any closer to hitting any of the pins only made Karkat’s face redder.

The only question was when he was going to pop.

“FUCK!” Karkat stomped back to the ball return. “FUCK ME, FUCK BOWLING, AND FUCK YOU, DAVE. YOU THINK YOU’RE BETTER THAN ME? NEWSFLASH, FUCK FACE, YOU ARE JUST AS OBJECTIVELY TERRIBLE AT THIS AS I AM—AT LEAST *I* HAVE THE FUCKING DECENCY TO BE ASHAMED OF MYSELF!”

Dave made absolutely no attempt to hold back his laughter.

“Hey, do you mind watching your language?” An older man in the next lane was giving Karkat quite an impressive glare. “There are kids present.”

Karkat’s face went purple.

---

“Well, Karkat,” Dave said as they walked down the street to no stated destination, his tone infuriatingly casual, “I can honestly say I’ve never been kicked out of a bowling alley before. I can scratch that off the old bucket list. It wasn’t on there because I hadn’t thought of it, but now I see I was blind to the possibilities. Thanks for opening my third eye or some shit like that.”

Karkat had let Dave put his stupid arm around his shoulders about a block back, and he hated the fact it felt so comforting. Bad enough he’d made an ass out of himself over nothing in public (again!), but it hadn’t even worked. He’d wanted to piss Dave off by showcasing his abhorrent personality, and he’d failed miserably. It wasn’t even his fault he’d failed either. For some inscrutible fucking reason, the idiot found temper tantrums hilarious to watch rather than embarrassing to be associated with. “Fuck you, Dave,” he said quietly, his energy quite spent.

Dave chuckled. Case in fucking point. “Aw come on, don’t be like that. It’s not like we’re banned from the place.” He paused. “I’m probably not going to get you to go there again anyway, am I?”

“I am never stepping foot back into that establishment, no.”

“Are you still pissed at me for that strike?” Dave’s voice sounded disbelieving. Maybe a little hurt. “I told you, man, it was a fluke. I wasn’t trying to hustle you. If I’d wanted to hustle you, there’d be money involved. That’s how that shit works. It’s like the definition of a hustle.”

Karkat sighed. “No, I’m not mad about that.” He hadn’t really been that mad about it in the bowling alley either. He’d just been frustrated. Loudly. Which was how he usually expressed his frustration. In the moment, it made him feel better… afterwards, he just felt tired. “I’m just really fucking embarrassed, okay? I know embarrassment is probably a foreign concept for you, but—”

Then he was being hugged. He tensed for a moment, then relaxed into it. He knew he shouldn’t be accepting Dave’s comfort, that this was only going to make things harder in the long run, but he couldn’t help himself. He really was such a selfish asshole. His head fell naturally against Dave’s shoulder, and he felt a distressingly familiar ache in his eyes. “Why are you hugging me?”

A soft guff of laughter blew past his ear. “Dude, you looked like you needed a hug. I’m not a hug expert or anything, but sometimes you look at a guy and think, that guy, he needs a hug.” The arms around him held him just a little tighter. “I hope you leave me a good review on yelp.”

Karkat choked on his unexpected laughter. “Dave. You are so fucking ridiculous.” As much as a part of him wanted to remain in his arms, he knew if he stayed any longer, he really would start crying. “Let go of me, asshole.”

Dave did so with only a moment’s hesitation. He put his hands on his hips. “So, what do you think?”

“About what?” Karkat successfully resisted the urge to wipe his eyes. With any luck, Dave wouldn’t notice how tear bright they probably were. Why was he getting so emotional anyway? None of this would matter soon enough.

“My review,” Dave said as though Karkat should have any idea what he was talking about. “Five out of five stars, right? Don’t crash my yelp score, dude—I have a reputation to maintain as hug master supreme; it’s all I have.”

And Karkat was laughing again. It really felt good.

---

* Gives nice hugs. Doesn’t respect personal space. Karaoke bar? Shitty bowler. Why isn’t this working?

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{{ The third step is the ego. For Dr. Freud (famous psychology hack), the ego was a moderator. For our purposes, we return to the original Latin: I. Make it all about you and your comfort. If you have had enough of your short-term partner’s incessant prattle, say so. When you want to scream, do it at the top of your lungs. Use whatever language feels best to you at all times regardless of the situation. Make your short-term partner embarrassed to be associated with you. If you can get you and your short-term partner kicked out of an establishment due to your behavior, so much the better. However, if you find that such antics only serve to amuse your short-term partner, cease them immediately. The point of this exercise is to humiliate your short-term partner, not further endear you to them. Also, in the event that you are more embarrassed by your conduct than your short-term partner is, under no circumstances allow them to comfort you. It will only distract you from your objective. }}

#Homestuck #humanstuck #davekat #fan fic #my fic #wip

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