#pronounced twink

[wasteland-wrecker]

May I request a swank please 🥺

I don’t take requests 🥺 (unless u ask about my ocs) SORRY 💔

Alright I did just because it is you 🩵

[leclercskiesahead]

Fellas this was so gay like what the hell

And then the unofficial sequel with this

[oldmanyaoi-jpeg]

i sometimes dream of my guys being popular because i want people to look at my guys so fucking bad but at the same time i know that someone would humanize my cool old ass aliens as 20 year old white guys and i would have to kill them with a rock. there would be no other option at that point

[nicelytousled]

I cannot naturally say Armand's name properly my accent isn't built for so many elongates A's in one word, he's my Armband

[fitzrove]

I think I'm struggling creatively because as time goes on I find less and less motivation to write (and read, tbh!) stuff that's

good wholesome queer representation

escapist everything-gets-better fantasy ("because life is hard enough why would you write about miserable things")

palatable to people who disagree with me

And obviously I'm nowhere near finishing even a single original thing yet ahdfhajf but I've been looking at publishing videos that people who have experience in the industry have made and. Man no wonder that so much milquetoast stuff gets put out nowadays

[aanthonyvb]

I pronounce twink death.

(Jayce divorce era concept aka the Defender of Tomorrow )

[yaseraphine]

astro observations 5 - appearance and vibes / Cancer rising men

Men used as examples in this post : Booba / Troye Sivan / Nekfeu / Bill Gates / The Weeknd / Salvador Dali / George Michael/ Pharrell Williams / John Cena / Cyril Hanouna

Physical appearance 

Weirdly enough, a lot of them have chad faces / the type to be labeled as a "professional moggers" or whatever it is called / probably the most objectively handsome men in my opinion / square jaws / soft watery eyes / smooth skin / irresistible and sweet smirk

When they get older, some of them end up having the Dilf/ Daddy type of looks with this softness still remaining that usually makes women melt (yes i used John Cena as a dilf example..sorry guys)

"There must have been an angel by my side"

The eyes and the jaw is huge here, they also are generally muscular -> the chest area is prominent in a way

They tend to look like cherubs. They have an angel-like appearance.

Really angelic and cute appearance. A little shy the first time you meet, get flustered easily, pink ears and cheeks

The eyes are really expressive and sparkly. It's like you can see stars being reflected in their eyes when you look at them. A really soft, poetic and deep gaze that can make you blush a bit. Their eyes from what I have seen are full of emotions. Really captivating but not in a intense scopionic sense, it's more magical kind of like bishonen, the standard face of male protagonists in shojos or just generally a lot of animes (think of Howl in the Ghibli movie Howl's moving castle)

Body : usually smaller than average. Twinks or buff dudes with a heart of gold. There is no in-between in my experiences.

If you know about Kibbe or Kitchener's body type and face type essences systems :

Kibbe body type :  Flamboyant gamine, or gamine , some could be soft classic even

Face type / essence : Gamine, Ingenue or more rarely Angelic (ethereal)

First impressions, vibes, general way of presenting themselves

Right off the bat, there is something significant about the way they speak and interact with people. They usually have really soft, deep and soothing voices. Talk in a really calm and composed manner. They take their time to speak. They take their time to pronounce each word.

Have a way with words that is usually really captivating. Really calming presence. Natural talent for poetry, play on words. They can be really good at voice acting. They usually have a really good diction too. Really good storytellers.

Appears really shy though. Can’t really hide their emotions, we can easily read right through them.

A lot of them are artistically inclined, really sensitive men. Women feel safe around them and they are often surrounded by women.

Really appreciated by women. The type of men little girls want to marry when they grow up.

They usually know how to keep people at ease by using humor too. They tend to be quite funny and have a really relatable humor. Usually really good at imitations too. Good at picking up on people’s emotions. 

Really caring and attentive to their loved ones.

Likes to call people by pet names/ cute nicknames like "darling", "angel" "sweatheart", etc ..from my experience. The type to say "let's go kids!" to their group of friends. Even if they are men, they are just usually really maternal.

Usually is quite expressive in their "face body language" and likes to make goofy facial expressions. Their emotions are just visible on their face.

Makes deep eye contact, nods at everything you say. The type to tell you " no no it's ok keep going 😆😅" when you're losing your train of thoughts.

If you accidentally overshare, and they obviously see you’re embarrassed, they will reassure you.

Killers on the Dancefloor ? : Something also quite random about them is that they all have these silly little dances and signature moves that they do. If you invite them to a party, be prepared to be impressed. It’s a bit silly and kind of cute but at same time they’re killing it.

You feel like you can cry in their arms vibes. They have this friendly energy.

A lot of them tend to create a community since they need it. Always in search of their soul family.

A lot of them tend to have groupies from what I have seen. Like they can become the main pillar that holds their friend group together. 

Generally really paternal/maternal, kind of like a reassuring parental figure. Just like Capricorn risings, they have this parental figure vibes to them. It's like you can count on them. However , Capricorn risings represent more the archetype of the Father, representing tough love and practicality. Cancer risings on the other hand represent the archetype of the Mother, focusing on emotional security and vulnerability.

When Capricorn risings look like they would give you great life advice and be a good mentor, Cancer risings look like you can be vulnerable and open up to them, like they can provide you emotional healing. Kind of like a therapist in a way.

The Devil hidden behind those angelic eyes : 

Smooth Operator - Sade : “his eyes are like angels but his heart is cold”

“No place for beginners or sensitive hearts

When sentiment is left to chance

“No place to be ending but somewhere to start”

“A license to love, insurance to hold

Melts all your memories and change into gold

His eyes are like angels but his heart is cold”

Despite all this potential to be an amazing, emotionally mature, sensitive and creative person a lot of them will fall in the shadows. Deception, emotional manipulation, victimization, gaslighting will be their driving force and fuel through life. Because of unresolved negative and destructive emotional patterns, they will become the most vile and manipulative creatures you’ll ever meet, all of this disguised behind a mask of sympathy and openness. They will trick you into thinking you can open up yourself to them, that they’ll understand you. You will not realize until it’s too late that you’ve been tricked by their sweet words and their skills to read right through people. They will project and consistently play victim. They will become professional actors. They will be the type of men Raye describes in her song named :  “Oscar Winning Tears.” She says that about the song : “This is about a man who put me through hell, and then proceeded to cry about it. I wanted to create a big dramatic classic feeling record with live strings to capture the audacity of his silly tears, to feel powerful whilst telling this story”

=> “Truly, I'm vulnerable, I love a sentiment

Quickly I opened up, I learned my lesson then

Thought I was safe again, thought he was innocent

I was so wrong”

“I can't deny

I thought you were the man, but you had a plan

The fuck you lying for? Fuck you crying for?

You did it again (yeah, ah-ah-ah)”

“So I'll take this front row seat

And baby, baby, you can go ahead

Cry those Oscar-winning tears

Popcorn and I scream

Baby, baby, you can go ahead

Cry those Oscar winning (tears) tears, baby”

The white lies will begin to be stained by red dots of blood. Their heightened intuition and sensitivity will not be used for good and will become a deadly weapon. A weapon that traps its victims in a sugar coated hell. Let’s not forget that their shadow (their 7th house sign) is Capricorn, represented by The Devil in Tarot.  The light of their angel-like charm will pull you in only to realize too late that you’ve fallen deep in the shadows, embraced by the hands of the devil. But it’s too late. You’ve already fallen too deep in the umbra to even see just a gleam.

Cancer risings sadly tend to be stuck in really toxic emotional cycles from what I have seen. 

A lot of them tend to be master manipulators. The type to guilt-trip and gaslight you. 

Real-life examples of this shadow side: 

Shane Dawson was extremely well-liked on the internet. He was infamous for his funny skits, was good at imitations and kind of created this relatable persona that people got attached to. Cancerian energy gave him this familiar and “sweet” guy vibes that made people admire his apparent transparency. Turns out he was extremely manipulative and problematic.

Nekfeu , In his songs, there is a scary amount of self-awareness regarding his toxic behaviors and the patterns he tends to repeat. This to me is the peak example of how thin the layer is between each signs’ light and shadow side. This hyper self-awareness towards their shadow side while simultaneously consciously repeating it describes really well those men. They don’t use their intuition for good.

Laughable loves / Ridiculous loves (risibles amours)

“And each time I care, I can't be myself

Why this need to hide everything ?

None of these girls matter, and I met you

You were different, it scared me, and I screwed up

We were part of a whole thing, we were high perched

If I lost her, I would have looked for it”

“My boy's envies/desires turn into a boring game

Relationships which lead me nowhere

Even if I'm trying to find the solution in this illusion of seduction

I've got the feeling that I only knew one woman

I know the risks of love but I'm still having a taste for the risk

the boy’s envies/ desires is to be understood in “my boyish desires”. He is rapping about the desires he has that are one of a boy, not  a man. He knows it, knows it is self-destructive. Throughout the entire song, he shows really obvious self-awareness.

=> It is really hard to find good/ perfect translations to his play on words since sometimes he uses french idioms that aren't easily translatable in english without losing the meaning. (i found the lyrics' translation here => https:/lyricstranslate.com/fr/risibles-amours-laughable-loves.html)

/!\ disclaimer - mention of domestic abuse /!\

When I made that post, it wasn’t known yet that one of  the main examples used here (Nekfeu / the guy in the two pictures in between The Weeknd holding his grammys and next to troye sivan in the "there must have been an angel by my side" part) recently got exposed for having “allegedly” physically, psychologically and sexually abused his ex-partner. (i put allegedly in quotations marks because girl there are much higher chances he did it then not. I will always stand with the victims. If you went through something similar know that : Victims we always believe you and we stand by you ! ). While preparing for the post, the news wasn't out yet so I had to change the way I portrayed him accordingly. I think a reminder is always needed because putting him here will unfortunatly make him have some "visibility". I don't want to present him in a positive light or to make him gain potential new fans. If I can use this post to raise awareness, I will do it gladly. Especially with the current state of the world, and how more and more women's rights are getting taken away.

The Weeknd , being a cancer rising with a capricorn stellium shows this duality really well. His lyrics are raw and confessional. He shows a lot of self-awareness regarding his terrible and toxic behaviors. He is absolutely aware that he is stuck in karmic cycles yet this awareness isn’t enough to get him out of those self-destructive cycles.

Cyril Hanouna, is a very controversial french radio host and TV host and producer. He is known for being extremely narcissistic and for always playing victim, saying people are trying to attack him unfairly. He is extremely manipulative and sly, and pretends it’s always other people’s fault.

+BONUS / Additional visual examples :

[scrumpledorph]

I feel compelled by some recent realizations to share the story of my lifetime experience with weight, weight loss, fatphobia, and self acceptance.

I weighed 180 lbs for a lot of my early childhood, and got bullied constantly for it. It was comorbid with severe, impairing asthma that limited my ability to use my body at any pace faster than a brisk, if I was lucky, walk. Nobody ever blamed the asthma, they just called me out of shape, lazy - all the usual insults. I got kicked out of high school gym class in both grades it was a required course because I couldn't run fifteen laps of the gym. I never signed up for it again.

I was the school whipping boy wherever I went. (I moved schools a lot, because I'd lash out violently about this happening to me) One time in elementary school a group of boys hid behind me because they were being bothered by some girls, and knew they wouldn't get within ten feet of me outside the classroom where they were forced to. The first guy I ever hooked up with negged me to lose weight and join him at the gym if I wanted to do anything more serious with him.

Then a growth spurt combined with a two week vacation where I only ate ramen twice a day in high school shaved literally a third of that off. 120 lbs. My parents and I considered it a miracle. Suddenly I really liked how I'd come to look. I went from a frumpy, comely child to a heroin chic rockstar like David Bowie, and all the other imitators that chased after him, and I wasn't even trying!

I was skin stretched over bones. If I lifted my arms up every single rib from the collarbone to the stomach was pronounced, with gaps you could run your fingers along. This was before I realized I was trans, so I was mostly putting myself into the world as a twink (femboy hadn't really come into parlance yet, I'd probably have used it if so). People started treating me well for the first time in my life, I was popular. My romantic advances were reciprocated instead of pushed away in disgust for the first time in my life, I went on dates, I had a couple short lived girlfriends.

Some time in my twenties, I realized I was lactose intolerant. To both truncate and avoid needless disgust; once I took steps to mitigate that my weight rebounded back up from the 160 it had ended up settling at as my metabolism evened out, to 216. So I tortured myself with the most bland, boring diet in the world: plain oat cheerios, cashews, barely seasoned salads and coleslaw, microwaved chicken wiener sandwiches. It sloughed off the pounds, at first.

I hit a hitch around 180. I had originally wanted to go back down to 160, with the height I'd gained since high school that would put me in about the same ballpark range as how I looked then, and it's what the BMI scale says is healthy for my body proportions. But I simply could not go under 180.

Even a single cheat day a week, the recommended amount for any diet, would make my body snap back up by two pounds the next day, which took me the entire rest of the week just to get back to where I started. It was truly miserable, checking the scale every single morning and beating myself up over every single time my family took me out to eat or brought me leftovers.

So I stopped. I said fuck it, let my body sit at 185. Now? I can eat pretty much anything I want and it barely makes a dent in the long run. Recently checked in after three nights of stacked turkey dinner plates for the holidays, with eggnog and ice cream and a whole bag of christmas candy sitting on my desk next to me that I take occasional nibbles from. 184.8, exactly where I want it to be. The BMI scale says this is the borderline of overweight for my height.

An acquaintance who had known me while I was in that emaciated point in my life recently reconvened with me, and said that I looked a lot healthier. It was genuinely the first time anyone in the world had made a positive comment about my body outside of that short lived stint of emaciation. It was a genuine shock, because I hadn't up to that point considered for a second that I could possibly have looked bad to anyone at that point.

An article I doubt I could find with how bad google is nowadays once said that around 97% (I might even be lowballing it) of diets fail, because the body will slash your metabolism by 30% if you drop even 5% from where it wants to sit. I guess all I have to say is: listen to your body.

If maintaining your slim figure is a hobby all unto itself: with a meticulously crafted diet and double digit hour exercise regimen that you lock yourself in by checking the scale every morning? It's not worth it, holy shit. Maybe you'll end up with an extended illness that keeps you from working out for a week or two. Maybe your willpower will just finally give out, and you'll spend a week catching up on all the pleasure you'd denied yourself while you were dieting. But I know, from experience, that one day you'll just end up where your body wants you to be, whether you're comfortable with it or not.

I promise you that the freedom of accepting the weight your body wants to be at and being able to treat yourself guilt free will bring you so much more joy than having a thigh gap does.

[jollmaster]

asile!Hazbin Hotel: Broken Stone, one of the overlords

° a lenape warrior who lived in the 18th century, during the active colonization of North America

° participated in French and Indian War, nine-year conflict between England and France (1754-1763): his tribe supported french settlers

° once he even saw young George Washington in person

° died of a head injury in the penultimate year of the war; the iroquois scalped him before cracking skull with an axe

° no one can pronounce his real name

° on rather strained terms with most of the overlords

° dislikes Alastor and Rosie most of all because of algonquin superstitions about cannibalism

° Alastor is saved a little by his french roots, but Broken Stone can't stand Rosie who eats people not even out of sheer hunger, but just because

trivia

yeah, it's a reimagining of this guy 👇 the design prototype was traditional lenape clothing:

Vivzie: draws another twink in a suit and bowtie

me: oh well, he's been skinned

[thinking-emoji]

Phannie acronym/initialism* dictionary

*no i'm not getting into what counts as an acronym or an initialism. I'm also not telling you how to pronounce any of these

Please refer to the original version of this post to check for updates!

7SC: 7 Second Challenge

AP: AmazingPhil

ATF: Above the Fray, former management agency

atiwttmotiimpaowwmtf: And this is when, through the magic of the internet, I met Phil. And obviously, we were more than friends...

BFTD: Back from the Dead

BIG: Basically I’m Gay

BWAGFEO: Basically We Are Gay For Each Other

BWYBMS: Better With You By My Side

COTY: Coming Out To You

D&P: Dan and Phil

DAP: Dan and Phil

DAPB: DanAndPhilBEATS

DAPC: DanAndPhilCRAFTS

DAPFTTT: Dan and Phil Finally Tell the Truth

DAPG: DanAndPhilGAMES

DAPGO: Dan and Phil Go Outside

DAPGOOSE: Dan and Phil Go Outside On Stage Event

DAPWEPINOF: Dan and Phil watch every phil is not on fire (sic)

DD: Dystopia Daily; rarely: The Drug Deal

DILM: Dan is leaving me

DINI: danisnotinteresting

DINK: 1. dumb twink; 2. double/dual income, no kids

DINKWAD: double/dual income, no kids, with a dog

DINOF: danisnotonfire

DINOK: Dan is not Ok

DITL: Day in the Life

DJH: Daniel James Howell

DnD: Daniel and Depression; in our circles rarely: Dungeons and Dragons

DnP: Dan and Phil

DNPB: DanAndPhilBEATS

DNPG: DanAndPhilGAMES

dnptwt: Dan and Phil twitter, the twitter phandom

DvP: Dan vs. Phil

DvPHTSD: Dan vs. Phil Hometown Showdown

ETVAHTCTE: Embrace the void and have the courage to exist

FDITL: Festive Day in the Life

FFVII: Final Fantasy VII

GDM: gays do maths

FFXIV: Final Fantasy XIV

GANP: Gay and Not Proud

GG: Guru Gossiper; old forum site with dnp threads

GTPWTW: Giving the People What They Want

GwF: Golf with Friends

HEH: Heart Eyes Howell

HL: Hard launch

HTBYFIS: How To Befriend Your Favourite Internet Stars

IDB: In Depth Bants

IGTOHGMMWGHTHBWPOTC: I got the octopus, he's gonna marry me, we're gonna have tentacle hooked babies with parrots on the crib

II: Interactive Introverts

IOM: Isle of Man

ISG: Internet Support Group

IT: InterTalent

IT2: It Takes Two

KTANE: Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes

LAP: LessAmazingPhil

LEL: Love Eyes Lester

M&C: Martyn and Cornelia

MINO: mullet in name only

NBSII: No But Seriously Imagine It

PCOU: Post Coming Out Universe

PGPIA: Post gay Phan in Australia

PHA: public horse announcement

PINOF: phil is not on fire

PMAVEDFAW: Phil makes a video every day for a week

PML: Philip Michael Lester

PPA: Phan Porn Addiction

PSL: Pumpkin Spice Latte

RPF: Real Person Fiction; rarely: Roleplay F...iction???

SAP: SuperAmazingProject

SGF: Saying Goodbye Forever

SSAYWD: some shit a youtuber would do (dystopia daily segment)

SWWTTY: Something we want to tell you

TABINOF: The Amazing Book is Not on Fire

TATINOF: The Amazing Tour is Not on Fire

TIIH: The Internet is Here

TIT: Terrible Influence Tour

TTLMT: Trying to Live My Truth

TTSTWMG: Trying to See Things Without My Glasses

UTA: United Talent Agency

VPDO: Viewers Pick Dan's Outfits

VPMO: Viewers Pick My Outfits

WAD: We’re All Doomed

WDAPTEO: What Dan and Phil text each other

WITL: Week in the life

WIQY: Why I Quit YouTube

WWWY: When We Were Young festival

YWGTTN: You Will Get Through This Night

Works Cited:

[fox-guardian]

Butch twink

Bwink

Bink

Bunk

Tutch (pronounced Touché)

Buink

Twitch

Twutch.

yeah sure why not

[chai-en-kaadhale]

hehhehehehhahahahahahaaaaa the premise.... theres more to it then that..... mwhahahahhAHHA.... if i knew how to write good... mark my words this shit would dEVESTATE YOU..... HHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

(me pretending like the worldbuilding isn't still ass and like i don't have exactly two character designs)

im this 🤏close to making consistent ocs whose only premise are that they run the swedish shadow government

[sugar-petals]

I screamed when I saw Tim on your feed yes we love a pretty guitar man

finally a fellow Tim Henson enthusiast!! 🎉

guess we have a type (= overqualified youtube twink w/ a futuristic fashion sense aka the best young guitarist out there 🗣).

risky post incoming cuz he's HOT & i love hands

[for those who don't know who this pretty boy is: tim's yt | tim's ig | tim's twt | about his band polyphia]

i agree he's gorgeous: jealousy magnet, mr henson has it all!!

- the delicious ink 😍 (neck tattoo: the sign of a masochist)

- 0% gravity hair (those fluffy waves! looking so soft tim, geez 🤒)

- the sexy 8 string guitar, cause he can, how does he do that??

- the alt beauty (tim radiates haughty expensive power bottom who talks back to get punished ngl, he's prog rock's #1 it boy)

-the sweater game, all day, every day (unmatched)

-the best technique. ice cold (easily most proficient hands in the music biz as of lately 😏 people either 1. hate him to the death or 2. need him carnally for this lmao, love me a polarizing guitar prodigy)

-A WHOLE FEMBOY BODY (even his ass is huge as of recently!! and the waist keeps getting smaller helpp)

I'm going feral over his body linee don't @ me!! how smokin' could anyone be??

-the actual live skills, not just yt editing (needless to say! any straight or bi man should be able to move his fingers like that hhh there I said it 😂 tim keeps the standards as high as he is lmao)

-the studio (oh the things that should be happening on that chair! ...anyways: it's so modern but not boring, i like it)

-the stylish guitars with the floral fretboards (guitar fuckers assemble!!! finally nylon strings are back thanks to him 💕)

-even more gorge guitars YES model it for us legend!!

-plus he's got an all-round good taste in everything. quality is key! composition and character is always a matter of taste. but timmy never dropped a bad video, bad promo, bad album covers, bad vlogs, bad cinematography, bad advert, bad ig post, bad anything. he's always the sassiest gnc slayer short king golden boy in the room doing the most 👑

...and seriously tho tim being texan youth i respect him defying the status quo!! that's real rock'n'roll☝️ he dressed for women and tops on the internet just to serve and confound some boomers along the way! prince would be proud 😎

homophobes leaving him anti-androgynous/misogynist/bodyshaming comments just can't cope with the sexiness, which he never compromised🤘 i truly pronounce tim bi ppls' favorite. since apparently nobody except the guitar community wants him we now own this man 🔥

-BONUS: last but not least look at this silver ibanez. look at it! tim is a design and aesthetics icon i rest my case... that many people still don't know about him is beyond me. he deserves all the clout!

i mean even personally... he's the kinda guy where you don't know if you came for the looks/fit or the skills and you stay for both! his playing style never disappoints. i always look forward to him dropping new material. tell me what your fave tim piece to listen to is ❤️

[witsserviceablesubstitute]

Edwin is plenty alluring, actually, but sensuality is not something he knows how to indulge in. He'd have probably known what sex was, too, and had definite suspicions on where his own attractions lie when he was killed. However, his youth and the manner in which he died arrested any development he'd have had on that front. He's not naive, really, he just has a lot of gaps in his knowledge about this particular subject.

It's important Edwin be a bit camp because his inability to hide how he presents himself is the reason he was targeted— the reason a lot of gay men would've been targeted. It's also important that this presentation be alluring to other queer men. Because it is alluring. He's a cute sassy twink and he does flirt back a little when someone manages to tune into his frequency. Edwin's a catch, honestly, and I'd be in Charles and Niko's corner pronouncing him too good for any of his suitors.

[threepandas]

Bad End: Heroic Collection

New Haven wasn't a major metropolis. Some big city like Delhi or Tokyo, Jakarta and the like. It was big for the area. A major hub for commerce and crime on a local scale. But Nationally? INTERNATIONALLY? Not even close. No matter WHAT the great ambitions that haunted the Mayor, late at night, may tell you.

So, really, there was NO fucking reason for any A Listers to be here.

NONE.

Our biggest exports were fancy fucking jams and that one fashion line I couldn't pronounce. We had honest to God Jam festivals in the fall. It was a circuit, Mayor gave out awards. There were pies. Firestrike always ate himself sick. Agent always laughed at him. I... Fuck, my head was ringing. I'd hit that last building HARD. Was pretty sure I tasted blood. Not... not sure if that was because I busted something in my mouth or...

Over my comms, I could hear my teammates fighting. Trying to hail the Alliance. If we could... could just hold on...

Long enough for the major players to GET here?

Then what? I had to wonder. Staring at a burning bus in front of me. It was half way lodged through Mrs. Brahimi's shop. Please, God, let her and the workers have got out all right. I'd been there just this morning. She made me those stuffed flatbread things. Said I was still too skinny. Should rest more.

I use the twist remains of a book return to lever myself to my feet. Book..? Oh. I'm by the library. Which..? Fuck. Main one. That's city hall.

Smoke rises around the city I've lived in all my life. Fires everywhere. I'm supposed... supposed to be a hero. But I can barely stand. Feel sick as the world sways. My body is one big bruise. Gotta... gotta keep fighting. Helping. Save people.

In the distance, I can hear screams.

I'm coming. I promise. I'm coming!

I make my screaming body move. Stumble. Catch myself. Then keep going. The hiss and spit in my ear tells me that my communicator is probably half broken. I don't try it, in case that breaks it the rest of the way. Wrench doors from half crushed cars to free trapped civilians. Lever wreckage, hold it with trembling limbs, so people can crawl to safety. Run. Please, god, RUN!

We aren't strong enough.

He's here, The Collective.

A hivemind super threat. Alien supposedly. So far above my team's pay grade we know basically nothing. The kind of thing we were expected to never realistically see. We're nobody's. Fuck it, we're HAPPY being nobody's. It meant we got to go home each night. Didn't face The Horrors. Like him.

He CONSUMES.

Hungry. Trying to fill some void that's never going to fill. Supposedly a planet eater. Gutting worlds for resources, materials, to continue his own expansion. Now fixated on Earth for it's continued refusal to die. For its defiance. Some A+ sort of monster, to our high C rank. At best.

Fuck... we dealt with HUMANS. Fought gimmicks and tech. Little fish in our little pond. Now this tsunami was bringing the ocean to US and it was all we could do, to swim and survive.

I leaned against a half smashed car. Braced myself against it, more then anything, then started pulling pot shots. I... I was gonna black out soon. With a concussion like this? Probably wasn't gonna be waking up. Especially if those THINGS found me before a friendly did.

All across the city I called home, The Collective had Drones tearing the place apart.

They'd almost be pretty. Tall, elegant, androgynous lookin, supermodel twinks in battle armor. Drones apparently covered their lower face. I'd know the "commander" by their uncovered face and "use of adornments". Useful! Except they could fucking SWITCH on command, so you have to take out ALL of them.

Because they weren't a collection of different soldiers.

THEY weren't a THEY. That? Was a fucking HE. Singular.

You don't consider each of your individual cell as people. Each follicle of hair. Why would HE? God damn it. It was like fighting a giant. Against Gods. They just kept coming. And my ammo? Was not endless.

Worse. The drones had stopped looking. I don't know WHAT they had been searching for. But now? They started to converge on me. On city hall. Fuck. I... I couldn't even really stand anymore. My vision was blurring. I knew for a FACT my shots were shit. But dense as they were crowding? It seemed enough. Kept them back.

Three cartridges left.

Two.

Only one more...

The Alliance was coming. Half my team had gone silent. I could hear tears in the voice of Tech, back in the office. They had our life signs. Built into our armor. I could only imagine what mine looked like. Prayed, like I hadn't since I was a kid, that the others were just unconscious. Safe somewhere.

Someplace this nightmare couldn't reach them.

I doubted I was that lucky.

Tech was begging me to hold on. Giving me ETAs. And... And I was out of bullets. The block half full of Drones. I had escrima sticks. A fucking tazer. It would have to do. Sticks came out, as I swayed to my feet. No longer letting the car behind me hold my weight. What's a little... let's say, hundred or so, on one? Eh?

Bring your friends. Let's make it a fair fight.

I'll go easy on you.

Bravado until the end. Remember, never know who's watching. You are a symbol. Before you are a man, you are their HERO. Don't you DARE let them down. Even if you die. Especially when you die. B.. Bravado until the end. Plaste on a smirk and say a one-liner, we got hope to shoulder.

I took down about three Drones... I think... before the rest swarm me.

Feel hands pinning my arms. My torso. Everything. A weak point between the panels is ripped open. High grade military fabrics doing jack shit against their impossible strength. The distinct pinch tug of a needle in my skin. Cold spreading. The sudden exhaustion of a powerful sedative. I... am gone.

Time... is blurry.

Now and Then running together in my senses. My brain. The concussion doesn't help. Or... or didn't? It feels... gone? Gone-ing? Oh... look, sky. Clouds. Pretty. Wasn't I standing? I am standing. No... no being dragged. Chair? Not chair. Stairs? Carried. Pretty window..... where am I? Fuzzy. Bluzzy fuzzy purple beans~ he he he~ oh! Those are the... watch'ma call it! Gucci chairs! That rich lady had! Neat. Plurble.

Ouch! Why'd you pi...?

My mouth is dry as sand. But suddenly? I am hyper aware. The floating drift of my mind VIOLENTLY gone, replaced by alerted and focus. Drones surround me in a vaguely familiar hallway. Shit. I think it's that rich designer's place. My helmet is off, but my mask is still in place, thank god. The Drones stand far to close for my liking. Their many eyes, amused.

So glad to entertain, you Fuck.

I am frog marched down the hall. Damn near dragged. They were too smart to restrain me with my own cuffs, unfortunately. So my hands are bound behind my back with something tight I can't get a good feel off. Bastard secured it to my belt, too. Great.

The Collective's "Face" is surrounded by what must be every jewel in the city. Piled high in some vague sorting pattern I refuse to even try and comprehend. He's trying on rings. One on every finger, to see what matches his skin tone. Looks good. Already, he has a pearl stud and some earrings he's decided he likes. He looks up as I'm dragged in, and I realize immediately what one of "a few other differences" between him and the Drones are...

It's the EYES,

They GLOWED.

Metallic almost. Nearly neon. They reflected the light in a way the Drones simply did not. It made their face... horrificly predatory. Made for WATCHING, somehow. Unnerving and haughty. Beautiful still, but uncomfortable to be near.

Sitting up on a table that basicly swallows the room, dead center like a show piece on display, with one long leg tossed over the other and no fucking shirt on? The Face looks almost carefully, artfully, staged. To maximize some "haughty yet coy, alien prince who maybe wants to fuck you" shtick.

Does... Does he not realize I'm NOT one of the usual opponents? I mean. Flattered at the "join me! The Darkside has sex and cookies!" set up. Always fun. Classic, really. But, like? I would be... at BEST... a solidly MID goon.

Also "NO".

Gonna preemptively throw that out there. Maybe some expletives for flavor. Suggest someplace sunless to shove it. SOLID "No". Good try, though.

Around me, the Drones are shaking with silent laughter. Staring down at me, their pale eyes dancing with amusement. It's creepy as hell. Unnerving to be the center of attention like this. For this many eyes, utterly in synch, to surround and watch my every twitch. Act fascinated and amused, like I'm some little animal performing tricks.

The Face hasn't dropped his Seduction to the Darkside routine. If anything, he seems delighted by the defiance. Which... yeah, that tracks. It's why he's harrasing out planet to begin with. That one's definitely on me. So, better question? Not that I'm not glad and all? Why the FUCK am I not dead.

"And lose my HERO? Perish the thought~" drawles The Collective, the posture light and lazy, even as something dangerous threaded itself through their tone. It sounded... possessive. But that couldn't be right. "I would NEVER do such a thing! In fact, we are going to have to be far more careful with that little processor of yours. Far too fragile. Just the one, too. Horrifying, really."

Thanks. Just what every guy loves to really make 'im feels special. Insults.

Fucker.

More laughter from all around me. I grit my teeth. Come oooon, Alliance. Where the hell ARE you guys!? Could REALLY use a rescue! The hands holding me still are drifting. Fucking handsy. Damn near stroking even as they hold me immobile. They're looking for the clasps and buckles on my armor. Have already found the obvious ones. Fingers oh so casually drifting over, to grip, flex, and tear them apart.

I do NOT like how loose my armor is starting to feel. Barely able to hold on. Protect me. Limited as that protection may be. I think I'm developing a horrifying empathy for clams. Crustaceans in general. Anything that gets slowly pried from the safety of it's shell, too certain doom.

The Face casually tosses the rings he was playing with aside. Tens of thousands of dollars bouncing off to God only knows where. He slides from the table to stand. Shit. He's huge.

The androgynous twink supermodel thing he has going on? Fucking LIES. Twists your perception of how, EXACTLY, strong the Face body IS. He clears seven feet easily, is muscled in that distinctly "never see me coming until it's too late" sort of way all the ninja types are.

The tattoos. It's the FUCKING tattoos! They give the illusion that he's slimmer then he actually is.

It HIDES MUSCLE MASS.

I can't tell if that's vanity or strategy and I hate it. Glare as he sashays towards me. Hips rolling in that elegant catwalk strut. I'm forced to my knees. Because of course I am. How ELSE will the bastard loom and gloat? Though really, weak as I currently feel, it's more that the Drones holding me up? Stop doing that. My knees more or less just give up on their own.

"Like what you see? You're staring so intently~" He mocks. If he were being genuine, I'd call it teasing. Flirtatious. But I know better. "It IS a pretty body, isn't it? I worked hard on it, you know. All sort of fun little details~ Might honestly be one of my favorites. If you're good for me, I'll let you explore it~"

THERE it is.

Darkside. Sex and cookies. Sign up today. Fuck you and not in the fun way. Keep your hands to yourself, Collective. You're not convincing me. You could tell me the sky was blue, and I'd make three presentations with a PowerPoint, on why you were a liar. No, still No, and a hefty fuck off No for spice.

Three steps away. Two steps. One.

A man that tall and dangerous? Frankly did NOT need heels. Figures he'd wear them anyway. Sharp enough to kill a man. Right infront of my folded knees. I refuse to look up. No more fucking games. Did have to wonder, though, if those pants... if they even WERE pants? Were painted on or not. Very tight. Looked vaguely metal yet leather.

Shit.

Fingers, splayed wide as they run themselves through my sweaty and probably bloodstained hair. Couldn't have been nice to touch. Wrong angle and just a touch too big to be a Drone. Light as a lover, sweet almost, soothing. Before it inevitably tightens, gripping the strands. Honestly not as hard as I expected, didn't even hurt.

Still, my head is forced back.

Back and back and back, forced to arch my spine, hang awkwardly at some forty-five degree angle. My thighs and abs already screaming. A Drone grabs the back of my armor and, with an almost casual yank, my chest plate is violently snapped free. Both tossed to the floor away from us.

"There we are~" the Face hums down at me, eyes nearly hypnotic in how the light moved from within, grin full of sharp and deadly teeth. "No more of that ugly thing in the way. I much prefer this~"

"Tell me, Little Hero, do you remember? Becoming mine."

No, I certainly do fucking not. What the HELL is he-!? From behind the Face a Drone steps. Dressed differently to the others. Casual clothes. Like... actual street clothes. If they weren't GREEN I never would been able too-...

In horror, I watch as the pigment of the Drones skin melts away to a middling average. So utterly nondescript a blend of ethnicities that it's genuinely hard to place, but won't stand out no matter where he goes in the city.

I... I had seen that face.

SAVED that man.

Thought he was CUTE! T..Thought WE were having some sort of MEET CUTE! Oh God. That was at the festival. I was out of costume. Saved him from getting crushed. Then my teammates handled everything before I could slip away. So I just... stayed. Showed the cute tourist the festivities.

We ate FANCY JAMS, YOU FUCK!

I pined our that cute tourist for WEEKS. Was UNBEARABLE. Tech threatened to shove me off a roof! Oh my god.

Laughter.

Dozens of mouths, laughing in perfect sync. The noise layered and bouncing strangely around the room. Deeper then it should be, higher as it swings. Like a radio or voice modulator that someone is messing with. A momentary loss of control. My anger fizzles out to fear. Oh... oh yeah...

I forgot I was fucked.

At.. at least I know why?

A step forward. Past too close and now basically in my lap. A foot on either side of my knees. I try not to think exactly where my face would be pressed if I wasn't dragged back, to hang near painfully arched, so he could lean down and I could be forced to make eye contact. That way lay madness.

He moved his other hand to my face, cupping it. Dragging his thumb possessively across my mouth. He hummed, pleased.

He pressed closer, sliding down my front to his knees, straddling my lap. REALLY hoped that WAS, in fact, a weapon in your pocket there, buddy. Because I am not liking the handsy direction this is going, nor have I come to terms with my meet cute being a monstrous planet killing warlord. Not feeling sexy, my guy.

....okay, a LITTLE sexy, but that is hormones and we ignore those.

Fuuuuuck, wandering haaaaands! Now would be a GOOD TIME for door kicking rescues! I do NOT want to learn anything new about myself today! I want to go HOME. Sleep forever, maybe! Have a burrito the size of my head! Oh god. Think unsexy thoughts. Math. Sad puppies! Sad puppies doing MATH!

The Collective had dragged me upright. Pressed my face right up against their Face's bare skin. All I could smell was expensive cologne and man. Warm skin. Oh god, I am so gay. This is hell and I am very, VERY gay. If evil, why sexy hot hot hot? Hormones are making very convincing arguments. Horny brain says let's make terrible life choices.

No! Nooooo. Stop it, Me! We are fucking better then this! God damn it, you trainwreck, you are a ROLE MODEL! Act like one! (But horny...) (NO!!!)

God I was never going to mock the fuckers who hesitates at the "sex n cookies" speech again. Persuasive mother FUCKER!

"Aah~" he sighed contentedly, far too close to a moan for my sanity's liking. Hands having finally found the hidden zippers of my undersuit. Slowly dragging it open. "You are FAR too cute~♡"

"I can't wait to get you off this worthless little rock. Back to ME. I'll have so many WAYS to take care of you~ Backups and rudimentary supports we can set up, at least until I get you something proper."

Horrifying. Deeply Horrifying. REALLY never wanted to know what terrified and horny felt like, but here we are. Distantly, I hear thunder. There's no clouds. A flash of red through the skies. Green followed by metallic purple. Oh thank fuck. Keep his attention. Just... just keep his attention.

"We'll use me as a base. Keep you in stasis. Away from all these ugly, dangerous things~! Just you and me. Perfect. BETTER. Infinite and beautiful. I'll make all sort of bodies just for you to play with. Even let you keep this one! If you want. It'll be a precious memory for us, of where you began. How we met."

A mouth on mine. I can't breathe. Can't escape the arms wrapped around me. My protests do little more then waste oxygen. I feel light headed. Come one, team Alliance! He's here! HE'S HERE!!!

"You're going to be MINE, little Hero. I finally figured it out. What I was missing. It was YOU~♡! My beloved, delicate, little thing~. I'm going to take SUCH good care of you."

"Forever~"

[kandy-sticks-zaza-blogs]

Incorrect quote Redemption Motel AU

Y/N:I'm gonna go fuck your husband now.

Lilith:WHAT?! YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO FUCK MY HUSBAND!

Y/N:(Proceed to walk away with Lucifer)

Lilith:Y/N COME BACK HERE RIGHT NOW Y/N!WTF?!

(Two overlords sitting on the barstool while getting drunk and tipsy)

Lucifer:(sighs) I miss my wife,Charlie.

Everyone:(laughs)

Lucifer:I miss her alot...I'll be back.

Y/N:WHO POSTED MY NUDES ON TWITTER.COM?!!

Vox & Velvet:(laughing)

Y/N:(looks at the picture of them that was actually posted by Valentino) OH NO...

Alastor:BITCH YOU GONNA YOUR GONNA DIE OR I'LL POPPING BETWEEN YOUR EYES!

Angel Dust:Wait I know you!I saw your dick on twitter!

Alastor:OH GODDAMMIT!

Husk: Don't touch me harlot!(Pushes Angel Dust face away)

Y/N:(Having tusk teeths issue)Can you guys stop having relationships issues while I'm on my phone with my dentist?

Vox:(Announce news TV)Do you see this?This is the diamond I am going to give to my brand-new husband and/or wife. It'll be there for the rest of time with GameCube too!So if you want-(pauses)

Angel Dust:Woah he's bisexual,I didn't know that!

Vox:By the way I'm Bisexual I forgot,I forgot to announce that-How do you turn this shit off?Wait-

Alastor: Got beaten up by Adam

Y/N & Rosie:.... Something just happened.

Y/N: (Threatening sinners)

Vox:Y/N my long lost lover it's been a-

Y/N:Hey!I told you not to bring that up anymore I'm putting the past behind me!

Y/N:You guys wanna start a polyamorous marriage?

Angel Dust:Sure.

Y/N:Well I'll be yellow!

Husk:Is this how it works?

Angel Dust:Ok.

Husk:Angel Dust your the double bottom!

Angel Dust:And I'll be the twink!

Husk:Yeah this it what I just said.

Charlie:I pronounce you Husband, Husband and Husband!

Valentino:Oh no!Mx.Kidnapper please don't hurt me!

Y/N: Don't worry I'm not gonna touch you.

Valentino:...WHY NOT?!