#bad end heroic collection au

[threepandas]

Bad End: Heroic Collection

New Haven wasn't a major metropolis. Some big city like Delhi or Tokyo, Jakarta and the like. It was big for the area. A major hub for commerce and crime on a local scale. But Nationally? INTERNATIONALLY? Not even close. No matter WHAT the great ambitions that haunted the Mayor, late at night, may tell you.

So, really, there was NO fucking reason for any A Listers to be here.

NONE.

Our biggest exports were fancy fucking jams and that one fashion line I couldn't pronounce. We had honest to God Jam festivals in the fall. It was a circuit, Mayor gave out awards. There were pies. Firestrike always ate himself sick. Agent always laughed at him. I... Fuck, my head was ringing. I'd hit that last building HARD. Was pretty sure I tasted blood. Not... not sure if that was because I busted something in my mouth or...

Over my comms, I could hear my teammates fighting. Trying to hail the Alliance. If we could... could just hold on...

Long enough for the major players to GET here?

Then what? I had to wonder. Staring at a burning bus in front of me. It was half way lodged through Mrs. Brahimi's shop. Please, God, let her and the workers have got out all right. I'd been there just this morning. She made me those stuffed flatbread things. Said I was still too skinny. Should rest more.

I use the twist remains of a book return to lever myself to my feet. Book..? Oh. I'm by the library. Which..? Fuck. Main one. That's city hall.

Smoke rises around the city I've lived in all my life. Fires everywhere. I'm supposed... supposed to be a hero. But I can barely stand. Feel sick as the world sways. My body is one big bruise. Gotta... gotta keep fighting. Helping. Save people.

In the distance, I can hear screams.

I'm coming. I promise. I'm coming!

I make my screaming body move. Stumble. Catch myself. Then keep going. The hiss and spit in my ear tells me that my communicator is probably half broken. I don't try it, in case that breaks it the rest of the way. Wrench doors from half crushed cars to free trapped civilians. Lever wreckage, hold it with trembling limbs, so people can crawl to safety. Run. Please, god, RUN!

We aren't strong enough.

He's here, The Collective.

A hivemind super threat. Alien supposedly. So far above my team's pay grade we know basically nothing. The kind of thing we were expected to never realistically see. We're nobody's. Fuck it, we're HAPPY being nobody's. It meant we got to go home each night. Didn't face The Horrors. Like him.

He CONSUMES.

Hungry. Trying to fill some void that's never going to fill. Supposedly a planet eater. Gutting worlds for resources, materials, to continue his own expansion. Now fixated on Earth for it's continued refusal to die. For its defiance. Some A+ sort of monster, to our high C rank. At best.

Fuck... we dealt with HUMANS. Fought gimmicks and tech. Little fish in our little pond. Now this tsunami was bringing the ocean to US and it was all we could do, to swim and survive.

I leaned against a half smashed car. Braced myself against it, more then anything, then started pulling pot shots. I... I was gonna black out soon. With a concussion like this? Probably wasn't gonna be waking up. Especially if those THINGS found me before a friendly did.

All across the city I called home, The Collective had Drones tearing the place apart.

They'd almost be pretty. Tall, elegant, androgynous lookin, supermodel twinks in battle armor. Drones apparently covered their lower face. I'd know the "commander" by their uncovered face and "use of adornments". Useful! Except they could fucking SWITCH on command, so you have to take out ALL of them.

Because they weren't a collection of different soldiers.

THEY weren't a THEY. That? Was a fucking HE. Singular.

You don't consider each of your individual cell as people. Each follicle of hair. Why would HE? God damn it. It was like fighting a giant. Against Gods. They just kept coming. And my ammo? Was not endless.

Worse. The drones had stopped looking. I don't know WHAT they had been searching for. But now? They started to converge on me. On city hall. Fuck. I... I couldn't even really stand anymore. My vision was blurring. I knew for a FACT my shots were shit. But dense as they were crowding? It seemed enough. Kept them back.

Three cartridges left.

Two.

Only one more...

The Alliance was coming. Half my team had gone silent. I could hear tears in the voice of Tech, back in the office. They had our life signs. Built into our armor. I could only imagine what mine looked like. Prayed, like I hadn't since I was a kid, that the others were just unconscious. Safe somewhere.

Someplace this nightmare couldn't reach them.

I doubted I was that lucky.

Tech was begging me to hold on. Giving me ETAs. And... And I was out of bullets. The block half full of Drones. I had escrima sticks. A fucking tazer. It would have to do. Sticks came out, as I swayed to my feet. No longer letting the car behind me hold my weight. What's a little... let's say, hundred or so, on one? Eh?

Bring your friends. Let's make it a fair fight.

I'll go easy on you.

Bravado until the end. Remember, never know who's watching. You are a symbol. Before you are a man, you are their HERO. Don't you DARE let them down. Even if you die. Especially when you die. B.. Bravado until the end. Plaste on a smirk and say a one-liner, we got hope to shoulder.

I took down about three Drones... I think... before the rest swarm me.

Feel hands pinning my arms. My torso. Everything. A weak point between the panels is ripped open. High grade military fabrics doing jack shit against their impossible strength. The distinct pinch tug of a needle in my skin. Cold spreading. The sudden exhaustion of a powerful sedative. I... am gone.

Time... is blurry.

Now and Then running together in my senses. My brain. The concussion doesn't help. Or... or didn't? It feels... gone? Gone-ing? Oh... look, sky. Clouds. Pretty. Wasn't I standing? I am standing. No... no being dragged. Chair? Not chair. Stairs? Carried. Pretty window..... where am I? Fuzzy. Bluzzy fuzzy purple beans~ he he he~ oh! Those are the... watch'ma call it! Gucci chairs! That rich lady had! Neat. Plurble.

Ouch! Why'd you pi...?

My mouth is dry as sand. But suddenly? I am hyper aware. The floating drift of my mind VIOLENTLY gone, replaced by alerted and focus. Drones surround me in a vaguely familiar hallway. Shit. I think it's that rich designer's place. My helmet is off, but my mask is still in place, thank god. The Drones stand far to close for my liking. Their many eyes, amused.

So glad to entertain, you Fuck.

I am frog marched down the hall. Damn near dragged. They were too smart to restrain me with my own cuffs, unfortunately. So my hands are bound behind my back with something tight I can't get a good feel off. Bastard secured it to my belt, too. Great.

The Collective's "Face" is surrounded by what must be every jewel in the city. Piled high in some vague sorting pattern I refuse to even try and comprehend. He's trying on rings. One on every finger, to see what matches his skin tone. Looks good. Already, he has a pearl stud and some earrings he's decided he likes. He looks up as I'm dragged in, and I realize immediately what one of "a few other differences" between him and the Drones are...

It's the EYES,

They GLOWED.

Metallic almost. Nearly neon. They reflected the light in a way the Drones simply did not. It made their face... horrificly predatory. Made for WATCHING, somehow. Unnerving and haughty. Beautiful still, but uncomfortable to be near.

Sitting up on a table that basicly swallows the room, dead center like a show piece on display, with one long leg tossed over the other and no fucking shirt on? The Face looks almost carefully, artfully, staged. To maximize some "haughty yet coy, alien prince who maybe wants to fuck you" shtick.

Does... Does he not realize I'm NOT one of the usual opponents? I mean. Flattered at the "join me! The Darkside has sex and cookies!" set up. Always fun. Classic, really. But, like? I would be... at BEST... a solidly MID goon.

Also "NO".

Gonna preemptively throw that out there. Maybe some expletives for flavor. Suggest someplace sunless to shove it. SOLID "No". Good try, though.

Around me, the Drones are shaking with silent laughter. Staring down at me, their pale eyes dancing with amusement. It's creepy as hell. Unnerving to be the center of attention like this. For this many eyes, utterly in synch, to surround and watch my every twitch. Act fascinated and amused, like I'm some little animal performing tricks.

The Face hasn't dropped his Seduction to the Darkside routine. If anything, he seems delighted by the defiance. Which... yeah, that tracks. It's why he's harrasing out planet to begin with. That one's definitely on me. So, better question? Not that I'm not glad and all? Why the FUCK am I not dead.

"And lose my HERO? Perish the thought~" drawles The Collective, the posture light and lazy, even as something dangerous threaded itself through their tone. It sounded... possessive. But that couldn't be right. "I would NEVER do such a thing! In fact, we are going to have to be far more careful with that little processor of yours. Far too fragile. Just the one, too. Horrifying, really."

Thanks. Just what every guy loves to really make 'im feels special. Insults.

Fucker.

More laughter from all around me. I grit my teeth. Come oooon, Alliance. Where the hell ARE you guys!? Could REALLY use a rescue! The hands holding me still are drifting. Fucking handsy. Damn near stroking even as they hold me immobile. They're looking for the clasps and buckles on my armor. Have already found the obvious ones. Fingers oh so casually drifting over, to grip, flex, and tear them apart.

I do NOT like how loose my armor is starting to feel. Barely able to hold on. Protect me. Limited as that protection may be. I think I'm developing a horrifying empathy for clams. Crustaceans in general. Anything that gets slowly pried from the safety of it's shell, too certain doom.

The Face casually tosses the rings he was playing with aside. Tens of thousands of dollars bouncing off to God only knows where. He slides from the table to stand. Shit. He's huge.

The androgynous twink supermodel thing he has going on? Fucking LIES. Twists your perception of how, EXACTLY, strong the Face body IS. He clears seven feet easily, is muscled in that distinctly "never see me coming until it's too late" sort of way all the ninja types are.

The tattoos. It's the FUCKING tattoos! They give the illusion that he's slimmer then he actually is.

It HIDES MUSCLE MASS.

I can't tell if that's vanity or strategy and I hate it. Glare as he sashays towards me. Hips rolling in that elegant catwalk strut. I'm forced to my knees. Because of course I am. How ELSE will the bastard loom and gloat? Though really, weak as I currently feel, it's more that the Drones holding me up? Stop doing that. My knees more or less just give up on their own.

"Like what you see? You're staring so intently~" He mocks. If he were being genuine, I'd call it teasing. Flirtatious. But I know better. "It IS a pretty body, isn't it? I worked hard on it, you know. All sort of fun little details~ Might honestly be one of my favorites. If you're good for me, I'll let you explore it~"

THERE it is.

Darkside. Sex and cookies. Sign up today. Fuck you and not in the fun way. Keep your hands to yourself, Collective. You're not convincing me. You could tell me the sky was blue, and I'd make three presentations with a PowerPoint, on why you were a liar. No, still No, and a hefty fuck off No for spice.

Three steps away. Two steps. One.

A man that tall and dangerous? Frankly did NOT need heels. Figures he'd wear them anyway. Sharp enough to kill a man. Right infront of my folded knees. I refuse to look up. No more fucking games. Did have to wonder, though, if those pants... if they even WERE pants? Were painted on or not. Very tight. Looked vaguely metal yet leather.

Shit.

Fingers, splayed wide as they run themselves through my sweaty and probably bloodstained hair. Couldn't have been nice to touch. Wrong angle and just a touch too big to be a Drone. Light as a lover, sweet almost, soothing. Before it inevitably tightens, gripping the strands. Honestly not as hard as I expected, didn't even hurt.

Still, my head is forced back.

Back and back and back, forced to arch my spine, hang awkwardly at some forty-five degree angle. My thighs and abs already screaming. A Drone grabs the back of my armor and, with an almost casual yank, my chest plate is violently snapped free. Both tossed to the floor away from us.

"There we are~" the Face hums down at me, eyes nearly hypnotic in how the light moved from within, grin full of sharp and deadly teeth. "No more of that ugly thing in the way. I much prefer this~"

"Tell me, Little Hero, do you remember? Becoming mine."

No, I certainly do fucking not. What the HELL is he-!? From behind the Face a Drone steps. Dressed differently to the others. Casual clothes. Like... actual street clothes. If they weren't GREEN I never would been able too-...

In horror, I watch as the pigment of the Drones skin melts away to a middling average. So utterly nondescript a blend of ethnicities that it's genuinely hard to place, but won't stand out no matter where he goes in the city.

I... I had seen that face.

SAVED that man.

Thought he was CUTE! T..Thought WE were having some sort of MEET CUTE! Oh God. That was at the festival. I was out of costume. Saved him from getting crushed. Then my teammates handled everything before I could slip away. So I just... stayed. Showed the cute tourist the festivities.

We ate FANCY JAMS, YOU FUCK!

I pined our that cute tourist for WEEKS. Was UNBEARABLE. Tech threatened to shove me off a roof! Oh my god.

Laughter.

Dozens of mouths, laughing in perfect sync. The noise layered and bouncing strangely around the room. Deeper then it should be, higher as it swings. Like a radio or voice modulator that someone is messing with. A momentary loss of control. My anger fizzles out to fear. Oh... oh yeah...

I forgot I was fucked.

At.. at least I know why?

A step forward. Past too close and now basically in my lap. A foot on either side of my knees. I try not to think exactly where my face would be pressed if I wasn't dragged back, to hang near painfully arched, so he could lean down and I could be forced to make eye contact. That way lay madness.

He moved his other hand to my face, cupping it. Dragging his thumb possessively across my mouth. He hummed, pleased.

He pressed closer, sliding down my front to his knees, straddling my lap. REALLY hoped that WAS, in fact, a weapon in your pocket there, buddy. Because I am not liking the handsy direction this is going, nor have I come to terms with my meet cute being a monstrous planet killing warlord. Not feeling sexy, my guy.

....okay, a LITTLE sexy, but that is hormones and we ignore those.

Fuuuuuck, wandering haaaaands! Now would be a GOOD TIME for door kicking rescues! I do NOT want to learn anything new about myself today! I want to go HOME. Sleep forever, maybe! Have a burrito the size of my head! Oh god. Think unsexy thoughts. Math. Sad puppies! Sad puppies doing MATH!

The Collective had dragged me upright. Pressed my face right up against their Face's bare skin. All I could smell was expensive cologne and man. Warm skin. Oh god, I am so gay. This is hell and I am very, VERY gay. If evil, why sexy hot hot hot? Hormones are making very convincing arguments. Horny brain says let's make terrible life choices.

No! Nooooo. Stop it, Me! We are fucking better then this! God damn it, you trainwreck, you are a ROLE MODEL! Act like one! (But horny...) (NO!!!)

God I was never going to mock the fuckers who hesitates at the "sex n cookies" speech again. Persuasive mother FUCKER!

"Aah~" he sighed contentedly, far too close to a moan for my sanity's liking. Hands having finally found the hidden zippers of my undersuit. Slowly dragging it open. "You are FAR too cute~♡"

"I can't wait to get you off this worthless little rock. Back to ME. I'll have so many WAYS to take care of you~ Backups and rudimentary supports we can set up, at least until I get you something proper."

Horrifying. Deeply Horrifying. REALLY never wanted to know what terrified and horny felt like, but here we are. Distantly, I hear thunder. There's no clouds. A flash of red through the skies. Green followed by metallic purple. Oh thank fuck. Keep his attention. Just... just keep his attention.

"We'll use me as a base. Keep you in stasis. Away from all these ugly, dangerous things~! Just you and me. Perfect. BETTER. Infinite and beautiful. I'll make all sort of bodies just for you to play with. Even let you keep this one! If you want. It'll be a precious memory for us, of where you began. How we met."

A mouth on mine. I can't breathe. Can't escape the arms wrapped around me. My protests do little more then waste oxygen. I feel light headed. Come one, team Alliance! He's here! HE'S HERE!!!

"You're going to be MINE, little Hero. I finally figured it out. What I was missing. It was YOU~♡! My beloved, delicate, little thing~. I'm going to take SUCH good care of you."

"Forever~"

[dasnercaret]

how ISAT makes you feel like going home

so one of my friends said to me "the first time i played (isat) was when i was home sick, i felt like it had curative properties. analyse that mr playstyle 😎" and i took it as a fucking challenge. i've never written an (tumblr-posted) analysis essay before and i'm going into this with a bunch of haphazardly folded ideas and NO OUTLINE fuck it we ball

so to begin with: DORMONT.

isat, as a whole, is extremely a traditional rpg setup. which unfortunately i know little to nothing about, so forgive me in advance if i put my foot in my mouth regarding traditional rpg mechanics. but like many games, you start at a home base, at home. and the whole vibes of the place honestly serve to only emphasize the safe / at home / storybook atmosphere isat cultivates. you wake up in a field, sleepy and tired. your dear friend mirabelle leans over you and tells you to wake up, because you're going to beat the king tomorrow! and you laugh and you're sleepy but eventually you start playing. eventually, you push yourself up and wander around and meet the townsfolk and your party.

now, the player doesn't know the party. they've just opened the game! they don't know these characters. siffrin does though, and it shows in the interactions he has with each one of them. mirabelle teases siffrin about the quality of his nap. isabeau puns with siffrin. odile smiles at him. bonnie... looks away, because of backstory you don't have yet, because you're leaping into this story at its very end. but siffrin knows.

(...)

siffrin knows. which informs his narration, of course, and overall it gives the sense of - you're watching a story already known, with characters who already love each other. like walking into a family home midway through a dinner party, to know and be known in turn.

(you know where you are. you're home!)

siffrin provides some exposition of course, enough to catch the player up and let them know the basics of the world you've set foot into. these people are here because they have natural ties, connections to the land they've been born or raised in or are travelling through. you all are here to defeat the king, who is the epitome of a traditional storybook villain, the big bad evil you defeat at the end of the fairytale. he's just the generically evil guy, with no focus given to the atrocities he must have committed and been willing to commit in order to get where he is. there's no need to be scared of him, not really. (yet.) he's evil, but in the way a storybook villain is evil. all the sharp edges defanged, sanded away, all the humanity and dimensionality and violence inherent in his character compressed into a set of scribbles on the page, words on a screen. it's not personal. it's not.... scary. not to you, and not to siffrin, who's already been floating above it all.

(the rest is under a cut! spoilers for The Entire Rest Of The Game)

similarly, the exposition is in the form of little childlike drawings, emphasizing the same nostalgia it draws on - fairytales, fables, those stories where the heroes collect the magic sword and slay the dragon and save the princess. you know these stories, consciously or not. you love these stories, (probably), and it all serves to emphasize the familiarity with which you step into dormont. heroic stories are extremely common in the stories we love today, from the old classic prince charming to (somewhat) more modern legend of zelda, and no doubt many people picking up isat have a similar passing familiarity with the overarching story of rpgs. (i in fact was the exception, but that's a whole other essay)

the townspeople definitely do not help this vibe as well. they are practically one and all kind, steady people, precisely the sort of common folk you'd want to save in a story where nothing hurts and everyone is safe and loved. they're happy to gift you a flower or a pan au chocolat and cheer you on in your quest, certain of your victory and at least certain of their continued happiness even if you fail. simple, easy, familiar, comforting in the way redwall is comforting or an old set of childhood fairytales is comforting. there's no real judgement, no anger at you for potentially failing and (almost) none of the gross ugly real emotions that would be present in a more 'realistic' story. simple, easy, familiar, comforting.

(You like knowing what happens next!)

so. i think we all know that isat at its core is a game about homesickness. god's sakes mal du pays is literally right there. the central conflict of this game, beneath the overlaying fluff of an rpg archetype and an evil to defeat, is about siffrin not being able to go home while the rest of his party get to do so. and even at this very early stage (approximately act 1 and i would argue a bit into act 2) you can start to see the cracks. siffrin is shown alone, tagging along with the party because he had "nothing else to do" (read: nowhere else to go.) he laughs and pals and jokes with the party, but like before, like always, he merely mirrors them. he makes puns with isabeau because isabeau likes puns, and siffrin liked making him laugh so much so that he adopted puns into a part of his personality. he comforts mirabelle about her future, jokes with odile about her research, and always, always, avoids talking about himself. when they ask where he's going to go after their journey is over, his answer is always a mirror of their own - pilgrimage, research, travel, comedy. when he makes a wish at the favor tree, there's no option to wish for himself.

because the thing is, right. siffrin never thinks of himself. the only options instead are to wish for his family - his home, his only living and real connections in his life, the people surrounding him that really make dormont feel like a real home and not just another friendly place in vaugaurde he's passing through. cause the townsfolk are nice, sure, they're friendly, sure, but - they don't know him. they're not important enough for him to literally rewrite his personality for them. it's his party instead, that he laughs and jokes with and is known with, even if superficially. he wants to be allowed to go home, to stay home. he's been homeless both literally and figuratively for so long that he's beyond desperate to be allowed to keep what little he's found for himself.

(You want to stay with them!)

except - what happens when you beat the game? what happens when you finish the rpg, when you reach the end of the book, when you grow up and leave this set of children's fairytales behind?

you put it down, right? you go home, right? you go back to your home, you go back to travelling, you go back to your family.

what do you do when you don't get to go home? when dormont and the clocktower and the house are the closest you will ever get to home, are the last moment you will ever have being home before it's ripped away from you forever? (ripped away from you just like before - )

you'd want to stay, right? forever and ever and ever?

siffrin is a character who has a very bad time letting go. just like the king, he wants to have, desperately, enough to kill himself a hundred times over for it. and, through the timeloop, he can pull you, the player, and himself and his hapless party along through the timeloop, repeating the same two comforting days over and over and over and over.

and perhaps after a few loops of settling in you, too, can understand why he would want to do this. it's nice, isn't it? knowing what will happen? knowing that these people will always love you? knowing that you can always get the flower, always get the drawing, always get the pan au chocolat, always beat the tutorial kid and get the jackpot? that the townsfolk will always smile at you, that your party - your family, your home - will never know what you've done?

it's not enough, isn't it?

(Dormont, unchanging! Dormont, stagnating!)

no matter how hard siffrin tries to cling to the past turned present to stave off his inevitable future, he is still human. under the fairytale setting and pretty lights, even under his own desire to stay with them, he needs that human connection. he needs something to change, to give way. needs to be seen, to be known, to be loved for himself and not because he's learned the perfect pretty words and actions to trick them into loving him. you, the player, the person driving siffrin, can understand this frustration perfectly as well - you need something to change. you need something to give way, because you can't keep doing this. because you can't hear the same lines over and over and over anymore. you can't do the same thing over and over anymore. you're not happy. siffrin's not happy. something needs to change.

i finished isat over the course of about four days, playing about 12-14 hours per day. during that time, i experienced possibly the most deeply intensely felt emotion i have ever experienced. to this day when i look back on my first playthrough of isat, the sheer depth and fury of that emotion takes my breath away.

and it was frustration. just like siffrin, i was trapped. i couldn't look away, because i loved these characters, because i loved their story, because i wanted them to keep going and going and living and i wanted to keep living alongside them. but i couldn't keep going like this. i couldn't do the same thing over and over and over. i needed something to change, but both siffrin and i were desperately, agonizingly trapped in the same few days. the same places, the same faces, the same lines said rote until i was zoning out through every dialogue interaction, only pausing when i needed to make sure that i hadn't missed something new.

because i loved these characters. i loved how homely they felt. i loved them, i loved them, i -

needed them to be real. to change, to grow, to have their future returned to them. i needed to see them go home, not trapped in this same endless time-frozen loop. i had been trapped at home too long, and the cabin fever was eating me alive. my desire to be allowed to keep playing (to stay in the timeloop) was duking it out with my desire to see them change beyond what they were allowed to change in the span of just two days. i wanted to see bonnie grow up, to see isabeau change into someone else, to see odile come to terms with her half-vaugardian nature, to see mirabelle learn to accept her sexuality (or lack thereof). i wanted them to remember us as family.

ah, isat, absolute king of getting in my head and making me think like siffrin.

back to dormont. in the end, dormont only changes permanently in act 6, after the time loop breaks. the only time the townsfolk ever change, ever coherently move to different places and act differently (act 5 is similar, but i would argue that's because siffrin changes, dormont still doesn't really meaningfully change) is after the loops.

and it's fitting, isn't it? by this point in the game, you could recite dormont backwards and forwards. but by this point in the game, you are well aware that you need to give them back a future. their future. the one they wished for in the first place. they've been trapped in their fairy tale wonderland for long enough. they deserve to go home, truly home, to go forward and live their lives and keep moving on. to allow them to change, to grow.

to allow yourself to change, to grow. to allow yourself to go home, to admit that you want to keep your home you have now, to keep the family you've built from blood and death and tears and stars.

(You want to stay with them!)

to leave dormont. to leave this fairytale behind, and keep living.

[dark-elf-writes]

List of my (most popular) fics because sometimes I write things and I think they’re neat.

Children and the Raising Thereof - started as a 5+1 of Shouta being baffled and slightly alarmed as he watched Izuku make friends, became a series of cute moments with the erasermic fam that may or may not be complete.

Class 1-A Is Typing - chatfic with erasercloudmic trying to teach/raise a collection of incredibly feral children. Includes Izuku who won’t stop biting villains and Hitoshi getting people to brainwash themselves by using the tried and true “Pedo says what?” Method.

Concrete Dust and Found Family - Battle trials have more realistic consequences at least when it comes to letting off a explosion in a contained space. Tenya, Ochako, and Izuku try to come to terms with the aftermath of having a building dropped on their heads.

Incoming call - Oneshot where Izuku is a frequent caller into PYHU Radio, and does what they always do when things get bad. They call in and talk to Mic.

Of Heroics and Healing - mha/hp crossover. At the end of third year Lupin heads to the only person crazy/connected enough to get Harry out of Dumbledore’s reach. That person? Sirius’ distant cousin who just so happens to be a hero in Japan. Hogwarts is not ready for the force of nature that is Shouta Aizawa with someone to protect.

Shouta Aizawa and His Feral Children - Crack. Pure crack. The birth of Biblically Accurate Hawks. Class 1-A is a collection of feral little demons only barely held in like by 16 rules put in place by Shouta.

Take Two (With Feeling This Time) - EraserGum step parents AU. Shouta and Taishiro agreed to put a pause on their relationship a year ago when they found two orphaned kids after a villain attack why needed the stability of a parent who was all in. A year later the kids are settled enough that their parents are willing to try this relationship thing again.

Two Heroes, A Kid, and Seven Death Martyrs - Izuku has a deeper connection with OfA earlier on which means they now have seven ghosts hanging around them and acting like a weird mix of friends, mental roommates, and parents. The ghosts convince them to ask for help before OfA can kill them, which leads Izuku to extra lessons/quirk counseling with Present Mic and Eraserhead.

Who Saves the Savior - mha/hp crossover. Harry is betrayed by magical Britain (generally) and Draco Malfoy (specifically) one too many times and decides to pack up his kid and two of his siblings to head for Japan and the three convenient teaching jobs that happen to be waiting for them. Includes Exhausted and Over It MoD!Harry, Actual Feral Sunshine Teddy, and three dumbasses trying to navigate emotions through mountains of trauma.

Veritas - Izuku gets kidnapped, shown the first bit of basic human decency in their life, and decides that they are going to force the world into becoming a better place through somewhat shady but ultimately altruistic means. LOV redemption.

[yeets-ix]

Sonic King-Ohger AU characters interacting with their Sonic canon counterparts

Shadow (Gira): King Shadow sees Canon Shadow being his usual stoic self and assumes he must assume his own gruff “evil” persona to be considered worth talking to. Canon Shadow recognizes he’s acting and promptly declares he’ll step down to a casual level to chat respectfully. Eventually, it’s brought up that King’s Maria is alive (and a hedgehog,) but committed a long list of atrocious crimes as Queen that were ultimately all for the sake of her brother and the universe. Canon Shadow, who must admit his memory of Maria is clouded by nostalgia, isn’t quite sure how to feel - is this evidence she could have been as bad as Ivo if she lived, even if for a good purpose? (And have I really become as exaggerated as this “me” acts?) King Shadow can tell his Canon self has a lot to think about from this encounter, he’s good at reading people, and respects his privacy.

Surge (Yanma): King Surge’s thoughts on Canon Surge are not given a good starting point when she introduces herself by trying to steal his Ohger Calibur (she technically succeeds, but it’s useless in her hands.) His first realization is that a lot of her anger problems will be resolved once she figures out she’s a he and starts taking testosterone. His second realization is that she’s loudly picking on his friends and career choices while he’s thinking, and has rightfully earned a thrashing. His third realization is that, while this alternate Surge follows his “brains and guts get me through anything” ideal, she’s lacking in the “brains” department - which horrifies him. Don’t tell him this is how Surge the Tenrec is “supposed to be,” you’ll lead him to a complete existential breakdown… and maybe a multiversal plan to “rehabilitate all the dumb versions of me.”

Amy (Hymeno): Queen Amy sees Canon Amy and assumes she’s a malicious imposter (it’s happened before.) Once that’s resolved, Canon Amy is flabbergasted and given embarrassing flashbacks to her youth by Queen Amy’s absurd demands and standards (Sebastian is GADGET underneath all that makeup?,) and is very nearly convinced she’s been sent to some sort of evil mirror dimension, before a distraction (probably endangered Ishabana citizens who Queen insists on personally attending to) establishes that beneath her selfishness Queen Amy still has the same compassion and generosity. In the end, they recognize that the only real difference between them is that Canon Amy grew out of every girl’s desire to be a princess, while Queen Amy, being… a queen, grew up embracing it. 

Blaze (Rita): It’s up for debate whether guarding the Sol Emeralds or deciding the fate of every criminal in Mobius puts more pressure on you, but Canon Blaze would just LOOK at King Blaze, hiding their ice powers, their face, their voice, and even their gender, and go “and I thought I was emotionally repressed.” She even asks them if they’ve learned from Sonic for their sake, only to be casually informed that if they absolutely had their way their dimension’s Sonic would have to be executed for all manners of treachery. She eventually begs their retainer/"Morphonia" (most likely Silver) to provide her with any evidence they have some sort of outlet, upon which he gladly shows her King’s plushie collection and brief career as an idol… which promptly leads to screaming, gets Canon Blaze banished from Gokkan and threatens King Blaze and their Silver’s friendship (a little.)

Sonic (Kaguragi): Lord Sonic would warmly welcome Canon Sonic to Toufu, hail him for his heroics, and Canon Sonic, depending on the day, would QUICKLY realize he’s being psychologically buttered up. Not like he trusted a Sonic who actually accepted the responsibility and position of royalty, anyway… and yeah, it quickly becomes similar to the Amys’ interaction when Canon comes to understand and accept that Lord spends a lot more time dirtying his hands for his people (and in particular, his brother Tails) than sitting around. He is a bit concerned that this guy takes “I don’t mind being the bad guy” a little too far, but can only say “touché” when Lord casually reminds him of his IDW choices. Unfortunately, their chances of friendship are ultimately dashed by Lord, who’s a bit too passionate about Toufu’s cuisine, dismissing chili dogs as “N’kosopa-level junk food.”

Tikal (Jeramie): Queen Tikal is a 2,000-year-old Echidna Mobian/Spider Bugnarak hybrid who’s wandered her Mobius occasionally hibernating, while Canon Tikal is a spirit tied to the Master Emerald, so needless to say their interactions would be unpredictable and highly interesting. Both have tales to tell of horrifying ancient wars - Canon about how she lost everything and sacrificed herself to end the crisis, Queen about how she inadvertently triggered 2,000 years of hatred AND toiled to fix the mistakes she made. Queen is the insecure one, but would probably end up humbling Canon Tikal for all she was able to do, eventually successfully bringing peace between the two sides and becoming Queen of the Bugnarak, while Canon failed to protect her people entirely and died. Queen would probably end up spinning a triumphant reprise of Canon’s story to cheer her up, considering she once accidentally did the same for a war, did she not? (Also, Canon Tikal, used to Knuckles venting about his crushes, can read Queen Tikal's probably-canon-IDK-I'm-still-planning feelings for her Shadow like a book.)

[heisttheblackflag]

Let's get ready for Alfreyco Appreciation Month!!

For Alfreyco Appreciation Month, I’ve assembled a list of prompts to use as inspiration for your art, writing, or whatever else you want to make! The month will be officially starting on June 18 and ending on July 15, and each week has weekly prompts listed with their dates below. (If you’re not able to finish your piece(s) until after the 15th though that’s totally fine; I want this to be fun and chill for everyone so feel free to post whenever you can!)

The first group below is a bunch of prompts intended for posting at any point during the month. Feel free to combine any of them, and use them for any kind of media you want!

Following those are all of the weekly prompts, which will also be posted individually at the start of every week. There are two kinds of prompts intended primarily for writing (one combination of prompts and one single prompt), and one that is intended more for visual art! Please don’t feel obliged to write or draw something for every week, but if you do choose a weekly prompt it would be great if you could post it during that week so that everyone doing that prompt can talk about your work together! <3

During the month itself, you can post all works on AO3 to the Alfreyco Appreciation Month collection, and tag “Alfreyco appreciation month 2023” or “Alfreyco month 2023” on Tumblr so we can see and reblog your works!

I hope you all are as excited for this as I am!! As always, dm me with any questions, thank you so much for sharing and contributing, and I’ll see you all in June!!

Free prompts:

Pining + “red string of fate” trope

Soulmate + reincarnation (“in every lifetime I will find my way back to you”)

Fake AH Crew sparring practice

Friends-to-lovers, person A is a prince and person B is their loyal bodyguard (bonus prompt, there’s an attempt on the prince’s life and they have to figure out who it is)

Wearing each other’s clothes

Investigating a paranormal situation which turns out to be a spirit that’s trying to matchmake them together

Friends-to-lovers, person A stands up for person B to B’s terrible ex-partner when they see how poorly they’re being treated

Hit men/assassins au

Minecraft au [a classic!]

One-shot within a YDYD season (could be Minecraft or Seven Days!)

Hurt/comfort (e.g. sick fic, FAHC post-torture or injury, rescue from a murderous cult…)

Werewolves/shifters/monsters/cryptids

Helping each other escape from being kidnapped or taken as hostages

They’re in space!

They’ve become the MCs in your favorite movie!

They’ve become the MCs in your favorite video game!

Week 1 (June 18 - 24):

Writing Prompts - paired prompts: zombie apocalypse au + fluff/sweet moments

        single prompt: person A is a witch/magician looking for their human familiar/assistant, and they unexpectedly encounter person B

Art Prompt: post-apocalypse

Week 2 (June 25 - July 1):

Writing Prompts - paired prompts: cowboy/Wild West au + heroic rescue

        single prompt: strangers trapped in a room together for a seemingly unending amount of time (either by violence outside or extreme weather)

Art Prompt: sheriffs or gold prospectors

Week 3 (July 2 - 8): (Red Web’s three-year anniversary is this week!)

Writing Prompts - paired prompts: Red Web actual investigators au + “Run! You have to keep running!”

        single prompt: person A gets kidnapped under mysterious circumstances and person B goes after them (potentially revealing scary/bamf side of them they haven’t shown before)

Art Prompt: inside the Red Web canon! (aka if they actually were the leaders of a mystery-solving taskforce)

Week 4 (July 9 - 15):

Writing Prompts - paired prompts: fantasy au + facing off with the big bad together

        single prompt: person A is easily scared and gets paired with person B to go through a haunted house together Art Prompt: high fantasy archetypes

[wangxianficrecs]

Follower Recs

~*~

Hello Mojo, hope you're doing well and that you had a good break! I wanted to signal boost the MDZS May Diaspora event collection on AO3, and point out my favorite fic from there: 归心似箭 | Longing to Go Home by dragongirlG! It's both tender and bittersweet and it features such mature writing. The author got some hate for it when it initially got posted so I wanted to counter that and give it some love instead! [Who would do such a thing?!  @dragongirlg-fics I’m sorry that happened to you, and here, have *so many hugs!* I’ll try to do a thing just for the diaspora event, but meanwhile, I’ll just treat this as a follower rec.]

归心似箭 | Longing to Go Home

by dragongirlG (M, 8k, wangxian)

Summary:  The destruction of the Yin Tiger Seal does not kill Wei Wuxian; it ages him instead. He takes shelter in a cave expecting to die, but instead he lives, slowly learning to embrace life with each new day.

Thirteen years later, a young man with a Lan forehead ribbon stumbles into the cave. His name is Lan Sizhui.

~*~

Hi Momjo!!! I recently read the most *adorable* fic, and I loved it so much that it dragged me out of seclusion (read: social anxiety cave) to rec it. It's called 'Covered in Bees' by ScarlettStorm in which the Cloud Recesses is an apiary, and Wei Wuxian has suddenly found himself host to a swarm of bees. ~ @akyra-talanoa

Covered in Bees

by ScarlettStorm (T, 8k, wangxian)

Summary: “Cloud Reccesses Apiary,” says a toneless, deep masculine voice, with zero question in it. Wei Ying doesn’t care, because whoever possesses that voice is probably going to come save him from bees like a fucking hero while wearing like, a suit of armor. That’s what you wear to catch bees, right?

“I have like, so many bees outside my front door right now,” he says, mouth running out ahead of him before he can even begin to think about reining it in. “It’s like a sandstorm of bees out there. There are so many bees. I got out of my car and there were just bees and I don’t want these bees. Do you want these bees? Please tell me you will come get these bees. I can’t leave my house and I have enough food for maybe a week but then I’m gonna have to learn how to cook dry beans and no one wants that, especially not me.” Wei Ying runs out of air, takes a breath, and belatedly adds, “My name is Wei Ying. Hi.”

Or: The beekeeping AU that no one asked for.

~*~

Hi, you are a bless to this fandom. Your blog feels like a library, so thoroughly arranged and always within hand reach. [Thank you, wow!]  Recently, I was going through Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn is a Wēn tag and came across a fanfic, it has 3 chapters till now and is so intriguing that i thought to recommend it to you. I don't know if I can recommend or if you have already checked the story, The legendary Phoenix and his Dragon by Devipriya. I am in love with this story. I hope you will enjoy it too, do check it out

The legendary Phoenix and his Dragon

by Devipriya (T, 7k, wangxian)

Summary:  Wen Wuxian, the essence of who he is, he is a naughty child, a prankster, an enchanting dizi player, a graceful dancer, an irresistible lover, a truly valiant warrior, a ruthless vanquisher of his foes, a man who left a broken heart in every home, an astute statesman and kingmaker, a thorough gentleman, a righteous individual of the highest order, and the most colorful incarnation.

He has been seen, perceived, understood and experienced in many different ways by different people. Different people saw different facets of who he is. For some, he is God. For some, he is a crook. For some, he is a lover. For some, he is a fighter. He is so many things.

But the phoenix, seen from the eyes of time was just a playful man. A man who plays with his awareness, with his imagination, with his memory, with his life, with his death. An individual who does not just dance with somebody. He dances with life. He dances with his enemy, He dances with the one he loves, He dances even at the moment of his death.

To taste an essence of who is Wen Wuxian, be with me in the journey of exploration, NO! playful exploration of life of a playful man.

~*~

Hi! Thanks for running this blog, it's helped me find so many fics. For your next follower recs post, I wanted to rec "This love like a flood, a fire, a fear" by natcat5. Its summary is vague (which I suspect is why it isn't better known) but it is a beautiful retelling of canon from LWJ's POV with slight canon divergence. I love the author's characterization of him and the prose is gorgeous. It is easily my favorite fic in the entire fandom, and I don't say that lightly. ~ @nyanja14

This love like a flood, a fire, a fear

by natcat5 (M, 57k, wangxian, lan wangji & lan xichen)

Summary:  “I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence, and as justice loves to sit and watch everything go wrong.”   - Lemony Snicket

~*~

i came to this ask to rec this baseball one called "Waiting for Spring" by thievinghippo on ao3. It somehow made me care about baseball soooo 'nough said ~ @scifikimmi

Waiting for Spring

by thievinghippo (E, 131, wangxian)

Summary:  “It is a well-known fact across the major leagues that one does not smack Lan Wangji’s ass.”

Wei Wuxian rolls his eyes. Everyone smacks everyone’s ass in baseball. It’s how the game is played. Lan Wangji does not get to be exempt from this most sacred of baseball traditions.

Wei Wuxian will make sure of that.

Or, a Major League Baseball AU

~*~

hi mojo! i wanted to rec Something Good by boxoftheskyking (a loose sound of music/canon divergence au) and also MDZS: The Golden Engine by iffervescent (immortal wangxian modern au where they gotta solve a mystery and save china, featuring jiang cheng/lan xichen)

Something Good

by boxoftheskyking (T, 43k, wangxian)

Summary:  "That Wei Wuxian, you know he used to be such a promising cultivator. Head Disciple of the Jiang Clan, can you believe it? You see, juniors, the punishment for traveling the path of demonic cultivation. No golden core, not so much as a whisper of spiritual power."

As a punishment for real and imagined crimes, Wei Wuxian is sentenced to work at Cloud Recesses as the lowest of servants. When a surprising reassignment lands him with eleven children to care for, everything changes again.

A Sound of Music AU

MDZS: The Golden Engine

by iffervescent (E, 82k, wangxian, xicheng)

Summary:  In the modern era, immortals Lan Zhan and Wei Wuxian return to Gusu. New evil and old friends + new friends and old evils.

~*~

Hi Mojo! First of all let me just tell you that you are amazing and this blog is like a gift from the gods! Bless you and your endless patience and hard work. [Oh, thank you so much!]  I know that you have just accepted follower recs and I have missed miserably but I still wanted to write and bring attention to a writer by the pseudo Xiao_Hua on ao3, I think they are quite good and I just recently found the account with so much content. If you do have the time to check them out, I'd rec catfish, my fox or the red ribbon.

The Red Ribbon

by Xiao_Hua (M, 21k, wangxian, TGCF crossover)

Summary:  Wei WuXian died but not before saving HanGuang-Jun and A-Yuan, leaving so much more behind than just his ribbon.

My Fox

by Xiao_Hua (E, 13k, wangxian)

Summary:  Once he headed to YiLing that all changed for him. His priorities have been mingled with and ordered in complete disarray even without him noticing as he was left heavily influenced by a creature.

Or one where Lan WangJi is a dragon-spirit and he finds his mate in the form of a fox.

Catfish

by Xiao_Hua (E, 15k, wangxian)

Summary:  Wei WuXian has a common sense that believes it has a nine-to-five job while Lan WangJi finds that incredibly hot.

Or one where two catfish realise that neither of them truly catfished.

~*~

Hi Mojo i'm recommending this amazing fic it is called song of joys and regrets. it's a time travel AU it's amazing. And your Blog is a Godsend Thank you! [Aw, you’re so sweet!]  ~ @highgoddess

Song of Joy and Regrets

by HelloKitten (not rated, 59k, wangxian, WIP)

Summary:  The Archery competition at Qishan this year has hit a snag. As the Sects face the wrongs perpetrated by their future selves, Wei Wuxian finds himself adopted by half of the cultivation world who are determined to save him from himself.

Baby Wangxian suffers. Adult Wangxian's job here is done.

"I'm starting to see a pattern to all his plans..." "Do they all involve him being bait?" "Yes" came deadpanned responses.

~*~

Here’s a 2021 Reverse Big Bang entry, in time for Father’s Day; [Oops, my bad, sorry!]  Under a Blanket of Black Wings, by ChaoticAndrogynous (#31398395); LWJ, recuperating from the 33 lashes, tells A-Yuan a series of fairytales about a heroic monster and the brave little boy he befriended. Vampire! WWX (in the framing story as well as the story-within-the-story); happy ending.

Under a Blanket of Black Wings

by ChaoticAndrogynous (T, 19k, wangxian)

Summary:  Lan Wangji tells A-Yuan a bedtime story about a beautiful monster and the brave little boy who was his friend. Thirteen years later, the monster returns.

~*~

Hello Mojo! Have you read ‘Key Differences’ by Pupeez4eva? Its a MDZS!WWX meets CQL!WWX and its really good! [It’s on my list!]

Key Differences

by pupeez4eva (T, 6k, wangxian)

Summary:  “I don’t understand,” Wei Wuxian said, while his alternate self continued to stare at him with almost a look of hurt in his eyes. There was longing in there too, which Wei Wuxian would have easily recognised if he paid enough attention. “How could you not get together, after everything. What even went on in the Guanyin Temple if you didn’t confess?”

“The Guanyin Temple,” Wei Ying repeated incredulously. “You’re asking me if I confessed at — honestly, a lot went on that day. It was a life and death situation. There was no confessing.”

Wei Wuxian stared at him, appalled.

(Wherein Wei Wuxian ends up meeting an alternate version of himself who, much to his horror, never married Lan Wangji. Obviously he has to do something to fix this).

~*~

Hey Mojo i would recommend this fanfic if you already haven’t, it’s called “ take me back to a time “ by DizziDreams. It’s sooooo good

take me back to a time

by DizziDreams (T, 144k, wangxian, 3zun)

Summary:  Wei Ying has a lot on his plate right now.

It’s finals week -- which isn’t so bad. He’s never had to study much to do well in classes. But that just means that things are that much more tense with Jiang Cheng, who, as far as Wei Ying can tell, only takes study breaks long enough to glare at Wei Ying where he sits on the couch playing video games.

It’s not studies that have Wei Ying stressed out. It’s everything else. It’s the recruitment for the research trial he’s coordinating. It’s jiejie and her impending marriage to His Royal Douchebag Jin Zixuan. It’s the volunteer work at the palliative care facility. It’s Wen Ning’s worsening condition. It’s Wen Qing working herself thin to care for her brother and Wen Yuan. It’s the way Wen Yuan never seems to have enough food.

So, yeah. There’s enough on Wei Ying’s plate already, meaning it’s not entirely welcome when he comes home and finds a man standing in his bedroom. A man in extravagant white robes, a ribbon tied around his forehead, long hair gathered into a topknot, fist clutching a sword at his side, who asks him, “Where am I?”

~*~

Idk if this has already been rec’d (I’ve been off the grid for a while now), but there’s this absolutely incredible fic called Restitution by an anon on ao3 people should definitely check out!

this one?

on restitution

by Anonymous (M, 78k, wangxian, jin ling & wei wuxian, lan sizhui & wei wuxian, WIP)

Summary:  When Wei Wuxian regains consciousness, he is in a bed. A real, proper bed, not the slab he called a bed in his cave in the Burial Mounds.

Jiang Cheng is glowering above him.

Wei Wuxian doesn't die during the siege of the Burial Mounds. Rather, he is captured in secret and confined at Lotus Pier. Things change accordingly.

~*~

Hi momjo! I feel like every time I come to your blog there's twenty more new and amazing fics for me to read. Thank you for everything you do for this fandom!  [Thank you, sweetie!  And yes, I think there ARE 20 new fics every day out there in the fandom.  It’s amazing!] Today I come bearing my own rec to you. I've recently read this and it's IMO one of the best fics out there. It's called Lapsteel by carriecmoney and it's a modern stormchaser AU featuring country songs and coming home. ~ @manaika-chan​

Lapsteel

by carriecmoney (T, 42k, wangxian)

Summary:  Now and then, I think about you now and then...

It's been thirteen years since Wei Ying ran for the prairies, leaving behind a family in shambles and a secret on the Pacific wind. What happens when the storm he swirled catches up to him?

Modern AU with country music star Lan Zhan, stormchaser Wei Ying, and shared crossroads.

~*~

[zeb-z]

Can we please have some more roommate Au content? It’s beautiful!

<33 here’s some random little thoughts along with blurbs of writing for ya, anon!!

Scott Smajor and his collection of everyone’s favorite flowers

Scott may own Starborne Flowers, the coziest flower shop of the town, and he may arrange bouquets for a living, but he’ll put you in the hospital himself before letting you fuck with him. Along with a sympathy card and a personalized bouquet of flowers kindly telling you to eat shit.

He runs one of the few true neutral spots in the city. Heroes, villains, and everyone in between, will find themselves there at one point or another. Whether it’s to hide out for a while, to have somewhere to patch up after a scrape, or just to buy some flowers, anyone involved in heroics or otherwise will end up there sooner or later.

Scott knows their names and faces, and he pays attention. He remembers family and friends, mentioned hobbies, any and all drama in either forces.

He keeps stocked up with Xisuma’s favorite teas and Stress’ favorite biscuits. He makes sure to have a tin of something other than chocolate chip, knowing Grian has a sweet tooth a mile wide and forgets his own allergies. He gives cat treats to Scar so he can give them to Jellie later. He has bottles of Doc’s favorite coffee as well as extra redstone mechanic kits - hard to get ahold of, considering the hazards and legalities that come with such dangers - which are more than worth it whenever Doc comes in with a mangled arm or Iskall’s eye is on the fritz.

He remembers their favorite flowers, and will swap out his displays to show them off. He always makes sure to have any number in stock, if just to tell someone who’s having a rough day that their stems are freshly cut and they can take a few, it’s on the house.

And it’s always worth it to see Impulse’s eyes light up at the sunflower display he puts up every Wednesday, when Scott knows he’ll be walking past instead of driving to get to the agency. Or to have Mumbo thank him in a soft voice, quiet and close to tears at the rose he offers him after a rough week. And he always has carnations near the register, every morning he tucks one into Jimmy’s hair behind his ear, even if he knows it’ll be lost by the time he’s back for lunch.

An odd love language, maybe, but he’s proficient in flowers, in showing he cares. Scott loves and loves and isn’t afraid to do so, wholly and unabashedly.

(And maybe that’s why he holds the respect of even the most feared of the city).

Ren will always sit next to Doc on bad days and show off his own absurd collection of scars.

Ren knows what a bad day looks like. Quiet, withdrawn Doc, still wearing his mask in the safety of his home, hands scratching his skin as if trying to scrape off his scar tissue.

He’s had to clean up one too many smashed mirrors to not notice a pattern. So when he comes in to see Doc sat on the couch, head tipped back with his hands over his face, he can’t just sit there and do nothing.

“Okay, so check this out,” Ren starts, which in Doc’s experience, usually preludes to something entirely baffling. So when Ren sits down next to him and pulls up his shirt, biting the bottom in his mouth to keep it up and point at his abdomen, all he does is raise an eyebrow. Ren tries to speak through his shirt, before realizing the flaw in his plan, and holding it up with his hand instead.

“Wanna know how I got these scaaaars?” He says in a god awful joker impression, grinning ear to ear. It’s then Doc realizes what his finger is pointing at - a jagged line of a scar that stretched two inches across his side.

“So this one, it’s not too crazy, considering some other ones, if you know what I mean.” Considering Doc’s flat expression, he didn’t. “But I was walking to get food one night, definitely after midnight, and on my way back some guy held me at knifepoint and demanded my food! Not my wallet, not money, but my lukewarm hamburger and fries!”

Doc blinks, before asking, “why didn’t you just give it to him?”

“I paid 12 dollars plus tax for that meal, it was finals week, I wasn’t about to lose my meal man!”

Doc snorts, and Ren takes it as a sign to continue. He grins and pulls up his shirt higher, jabbing at a burn mark on the top of his ribcage.

“This one I got trying to take cookies out of the oven when I was a kid.”

Doc raises an eyebrow at that. “Taking out cookies? Something you do with your hands? How on earth-��

“Don’t even ask, man.” Ren tugs his shirt back down and leans forward to pull up the leg of his pants, showing a deep, odd shaped scar along his knee and lower thigh.

“Now, this one was when I broke my leg so bad it went through my skin.” Ren says it so nonchalantly that Doc almost thinks he misheard at first.

“I’m sorry, broke through?”

“Right through! I took a tumble down a short cliff, and you won’t believe what I was running from.”

Ren waits for Doc to ask, to question him what on earth had him get such an injury.

“….alright, I’ll bite, though I’m almost afraid to know.”

“Cultists! Honest to god cultists! I stumbled across them and they thought I was a werewolf, of all things. Who knew that there were weirdos in the woods at 3 am on the full moon, man.”

Doc snorts out a laugh - small and quiet, an exaggerated exhale more than anything - but Ren will take what victories he can.

“You ran into cultists, and they chased you because … they thought you were a werewolf?”

Ren grins and nods. “It was crazy, man, like it wasn’t because I interrupted their ritual or whatever, no, they thought I was a mythical creature. All ‘cause of my ears! Chased me right off the cliff side, batshit crazy I tell you.”

Ren pulls his pant leg back down and brushes it like he’s brushing off dust. Then he hooks a finger in his cheek and pulls it back to reveal his teeth.

“An ‘dis on-“ he removes his finger and wipes it on his pants, “on the inside of my cheek? Well, let me tell ya Doc, bees are not edible. Especially alive and very angry bees.”

Doc chuckles and shakes his head, slumping forward to lean his elbows against his legs. “And, do tell, how did you have to learn that?”

Ren launches into another over-exaggerated story, waving with his hands as he explains how he used to love the baby bumblebee song, and, well, the dots are easy to connect from there.

He’s only half paying attention to his story, watching with relief as Doc starts to relax in front of him. Shoulders losing their tension as he relaxes on the couch, eyebrows no longer pinched together, hand no longer clutching at the scarred side of his face.

Ren starts to tell whatever obscure stories he can from then on, or comes up with something entirely ridiculous for the boring ones. It gets Doc to laugh, to relax a little, and maybe, just maybe, will work to make him a little more comfortable on days when he feels like a stranger in his own skin.

He’ll never ask Doc to tell him his own stories, however. He never expects him to. He tells his own to make Doc laugh, to make light from something that would otherwise be serious and somber. So Ren will wave his hands around and never look too long at the burns that stretch across Doc’s face.

No one gets scars like that and has a story they can laugh at.

[im-gay-and-mentally-unstable]

Video game AU

-The School is an online game that had existed for years and is now long after its times of glory, only the most determined players remain and not many newbies show up

-they still host competitions with small sums of money as the first prize

-there's plenty of smaller guilds, but they are slowly getting absorbed by the two largest- Forever and Never

-Forever, its members simply Evers, was the first gathering of some of the strongest players in the game, most of them already connected by friendships, and they slowly took over a lot of resources, earning a huge in-game advantage

-however, a lot of strong players didn't get past the member limit and felt disgusted by the advantage guild players received and in reaction, they made a guild of their own, even the title solely to spite the Forever- they named it Never

-the two guilds are in never-ending competition with each other for years, no one ever being able to grow significantly stronger, stuck in a cycle, almost no one joining in or leaving until Agatha and Sophie come along

-they have both grown up in the same household with Stefan and Vanessa, except Vanessa is dead and Sophie hadn't quite recovered before Stefan remarried again, straining their relationship permanently

-in attempts to earn her affection again, he buys her various gifts, this time, he bought the game to try and give her a new hobby

-she'd normally just abandon it, it's so out of fashion and she isn't interested in things like that in the slightest, but the most popular guy of their school, Tedros Pendragon, who also happens to be the interest of Sophie's undying love, or climbing for popularity, however you want to call it, is the head of Forever

-she makes a master plan, where she intends to join the game, become a legendary player and help him on his journey, making him fall in love with her in the process

-the thing is, she doesn't want to do it on her own (and absolutely doesn't want to go through pages of guidebooks and class descriptions), so she begs Agatha until she agrees to go through with it with her

-they start going through the early stages of the game and level up quickly

-Sophie spends most of her time trying to search for Tedros and save him while Agatha builds their collective inventory

-she very much hates to admit it but she got really into the game

-they become really good fast, mainly because of how much time they spend there (for very different reasons) and the talent for the game they both have

-while Sophie is off hunting for Tedros, Agatha joins a new guest that has just appeared and manages to complete it before the members of Forever, who just walk into the scene and are impressed

-Tedros invites her to fill the last available place in their guild and she tries to refuse and recommends Sophie instead, but they insist and she caves in

-Sophie finds out and is furious, in her frustration, she joins the Never guild in an upcoming tournament, motivated even more to prove herself

Character classes:

Tedros -> fighter

-> honestly the obvious choice

-> strong attack power, almost no health

-> fights in the first line of attack all the time

-> pretty dependent on other players' support

-> at his best as a team player, but incredible on his own too

-> thought the armour looked cool

Agatha -> paladin

-> she just liked the idea of protecting everyone but also doing damage and not being codependent

-> she made the smart choice for balanced gameplay

-> her saviour complex also came into play

-> never plays the first line unless forced to, but if she does she absolutely destroys everyone

Sophie -> sorceress

-> didn't read any of the guides, but liked the idea of throwing fireballs and destroying shit

-> somehow gets all the overpowered spells

-> again, she has huge attack power and very poor defense

-> she doesn't even need defense though, just kills everything and everyone before it gets to her

-> spent an ungodly amount of game money to buy pretty outfits

Hester -> sorceress

-> spent hours trying to figure out the best character for her playing style

->somehow has mastered all the spells involving explosions

-> always in the first line of attack

-> extremely powerful but very prone to getting killed in the first seconds of the match

-> doesn't like to say she depends on backup but the rest of the coven somehow needs to save her often

Anadil -> assassin

-> mostly plays from the shadows without getting discovered

-> usually prefers playing in team as support but also really powerful on her own

-> spends a lot of time making her skills as balanced as possible

-> somehow always plans the strategy

-> the person that spends hours on choosing the best possible armour and weapons

Dot -> cleric

-> just wanted to spend some time with her friends at first, ends up enjoying the game a lot

-> likes playing support even though it's extremely underrated

-> doesn't really do attack stuff unless forced to, usually just healing and defense

-> usually a team player

Nicola -> paladin

-> unlike most others, she prefers playing alone to playing in team

-> her whole character was built around the fact she planned to play on her own

-> and she's way too good

-> she switches between guilds as an exchange player to help out and is very widely respected

Kiko -> druid

-> usually just wanders around with cute animals and smiles

-> then she absolutely destroys you in combat

-> she always says she does it for the joy of playing with her friends

-> she very much just wants to win

Hort -> assassin

-> just chose the character that sounded the coolest and edgiest

-> soon regretted it since his playing style is to rush towards the enemy and try to not die in the process, which is not very compatible with the low defense his class has

-> Dot feels bad for him so she keeps him alive during matches

-> Hester and Anadil often use him as the necessary sacrifice in battles

Beatrix -> fighter

-> she shocked everyone with her character choice but her whole team supports her

-> usually rushes into combat side-by-side with Tedros

-> would be first one to sacrifice herself heroically if Reena wasn't obviously biased in her favour and didn't let her

Reena -> cleric

-> never really plays in the front line

-> supports her friends from behind

-> doesn't mind playing the underrated role, it makes it even more fun to her

-> really powerful even though she barely shows it

Millicent -> druid

-> not really a lot of reasoning for this one, I just have her associated with nature

Chaddick -> archer

-> he prefers bow in the series too so that's it, that's all my reasoning

Ravan -> fighter

[captainkirkk]

✩ WEEKLY FIC ROUND-UP ✩

A collection of fics I’ve read (/reread) and thoroughly enjoyed in the past week-ish from all kinds of fandoms and genres.

ATLA

Fire Lily Oil by mindbending                

There’s an assassin in Sparky’s bedroom. It’s the only explanation for the extra heartbeat. The sounds of exertion. The ominous thumping of furniture. Fueled by both duty and friendship, Toph crashes in, ready for battle-

Only to get smacked by a faceful of Sokka’s new perfume.

Ambassador Sokka and His Very Bad (Turned Very Good) Idea by gaydaractivate04

Part 1 of The Adventures of Ambassador Sokka    

The war is officially over. With Fire Lord Ozai and his daughter dead, Fire Lord Zuko now takes the throne.

He takes the throne, and sets to fixing the destruction left over from the war, starting with his own people and ending with everyone else's.

That was how Sokka found himself, the next chief of the Southern Water Tribe, negotiating new treaties in the heart of the Fire Nation with the new Fire Lord.

Who, if he must say, is really good looking for a guy who spent the last few years in the cells beneath the palace.

BNHA

For The Greater Good by Cornflower_Blue       

Of course, from the moment he knew One For All was passable, Izuku had carried a quiet hope that All Might would pick him. But until that moment in the sunset, it had always been more like a far off fantasy, a bedtime story he would tell himself at night. How could he hold a candle to someone like Kacchan, who had the perfect heroic quirk that would only add to One For All.

But All Might had seen something in him, and Izuku had promised himself he would never let his hero regret giving him that chance at his dream.

He did kinda wish he had agreed to let All Might’s team install the panic button in his phone back when his name had been leaked though.

Harry Potter

the end of being alone by rexcorvidae                

When Harriet Potter asks Hagrid questions about her parents that he doesn't know the answers to, he directs her to one of their old friends, and in doing so changes the course of history.

The Happy Smiles Recipe by MayMarlow                

After Sirius's death Dumbledore is ready to send Harry once again back to the Dursleys. Molly Weasley is not about to let that happen.

Untamed

Five Dogs, One Cat by ryfkah (+ podfic)     

If you’ve ever believed me in anything, believe I want what’s best for Jin Ling, the first line of the letter reads.

Jiang Cheng has to stop and take a moment before he continues on to the next line:

 You must come to Carp Tower as soon as you can and lavish praise on the ugliest dog I’ve ever seen.

  scatter and sunder by silversshadow               

When Wei Wuxian dies at the Burial Mounds the backlash tears his soul apart.

The cultivation world is left to watch the pieces.

TMA

nor any more youth or age than there is now by Ravenesta    

The local Primary school has a new teacher. He is, to say the very least, odd.

A series of statements regarding the interactions of the townsfolk with one Jonathan Sims, never formally given.

"Have You Tried Turning It Off And On Again?" - How the Magnus Institute learned to embrace the IT ticketing system, upgraded their antivirus, and still found the time to teach one old man how to copy and paste by shinyopals

Part 2 of The Magnus Institute vs the 21st Century: a series of emails and IMs

I hope you find your new role as Head of the Institute as rewarding as captaining the Tundra, wrote Elias Bouchard, to Peter Lukas. There are so many people working there: all with their own interesting lives, and all desiring your attention and support. I'm sure you will relish the challenge it will bring and enjoy every moment spent with the fine men and women of the Institute. In time I'm confident they'll become like a family to you.

The Magnus Institute has a new boss. The Magnus Institute also has a new tech support technician. These two facts are unrelated, except they both happen at the same time.

Meanwhile Jon's woken up from being dead for six months and for once he's trying his best. He just wishes Martin would stop avoiding him and answer his messages...

TMA/TUA

just stopped believing in happy endings by  chahakyn              

“I know that. I’m just…” Sissy frowns, biting her lower lip. “I just wonder whether staying here would hurt less than going out there.”

Vanya covers Sissy’s hand with her own, turning to kiss the inside of her palm.

“It’ll hurt equally either way. Does it matter to you, as long as we’re together?”

-

The Archivist Vanya Hargreeves goes on a journey to hunt down her Avatar siblings in their respective Fear Domains post-Watcher's Crown.

(A Magnus Archives AU)

[princess-of-the-corner]

The Crossover Timelines 2: Electric Boogaloo

So as with anything, we have Alternate Timelines!

To be fair, a chunk of these Timelines are Canon to their own series. I will be discussing two types of Alternate Timelines. The ‘Bad End Timelines’, and the 'Powerswap Timeline’.

First, the Bad End Timelines.

As you could guess, this is basically Timelines where the Heroes…. well.

Sometimes they fail completely. Sometimes they go crazy and become villains. Sometimes, they are still 'Heroes’, but lose themselves and aren’t quite 'Heroic’.

There are several 'Bad End Timelines’. Not every series gets them, but there’s at least one. Usually this is somewhat Canon through 'characters Time Travel to the Bad Timeline but fix it so it doesn’t happen’.

I’ll spare you the generic 'this is when they fail’ Timeline, as you can always assume there’s a Timeline where someone fails or gets killed or whatever. I want to talk more on the…. more interesting Bad Ends.

Miraculous Ladybug: Princess Justice and Chat Blanc

Though only the main two are mentioned, all of Team Miraculous goes darkside. I am unsure if they collectively snap, or if they’re all Akumatized and Hawkmoth lost control. Either way, they’re feral as hell.

Danny Phantom: Dan.

Oh hey! This is Canon! Ish. I did rewrite this episode slightly. Summary: Danny’s friends and family die in an explosion, and Vlad has custody. To deal with his Ghost Half’s 'Obsessional Breakdown’, they try to take out the Ghost Half, intending it to be temporary. Phantom overpowers them, steals Vlad’s Ghost Half, the halves fuse, and kill their remaining Human halves before going on a destructive rampage.

Ben 10: Ben 10,000

Another somewhat Canon but I rewrote it one! Ben does not handle trauma well, and slowly loses his support system. He was already not doing well but by 20, he loses his wife and fully goes into a breakdown spiral becoming more and more direct, paranoid, obsessive, etc. for the next decade. This is one of the 'better’ Bad End Timelines, as Ben is still technically a Hero. Just one who handles situations my taking over things, even out of his jurisdiction, forcing other Heroes into retirement, and curbstomping villains in a murder-y way.

The Secret Saturdays: There is no Zak, only Kur.

One fun thing about reincarnation is unlocking those previous memories. But the danger is if the old life takes over the new one. And that’s what happens. Kur’s memory is unlocked, and takes over Zak, becoming the Kind of Cryptids and taking over with his own armies.

Samurai Jack: The entire goddamn series.

Literally though. The whole plot of the series is that Jack is tossed into a Timeline where Aku won. The Crossover takes place in the Timeline created once Jack made his way back and defeated Aku.

Code Lyoko: XANA Warriors

All of the Lyoko Warriors become infected/brainwashed by XANA

Ultimate Bad End: 

Everyone fails, all Bad Ends happen at once. 

-

Now that we’re done with the Bad End Timelines, let’s talk about the Powerswap Timeline!

A lot of these shows have ‘Powerswap or Roleswap’ Timelines. Either in Canon, with a ‘what if’ scenario or Magic making everyone’s abilities shuffle, or just the Fandom decides ‘Hey! What if.....”

So I decided that a handful of Powerswap AUs happen all in the same Timeline. For reasons. 

Again, not all of them get one (or at least I haven’t thought of one!), but we’re going over what I have so far. 

Miraculous Ladybug: Lady Luck

While I could have just made this Lady Noire and Mr. Bug...... Lady Luck is more fun and changes the dynamic a lot more. Also I’m more invested in it lmao. 

Anyway, LL is a Timeline where Chloé is given the Ladybug Miraculous instead of Marinette. While Chat, Hawkmoth, Mayura and Bunnyx are unchanged, Chloé makes different choices in the rest of the Miraculous that are handed out. 

Danny Phantom: Phantom Phamily

During Jack and Maddie’s initial attempt to turn on the Ghost Portal to show Danny and Jazz, they’re a bit more successful. Sort of. 

The Portal goes a bit fucky before turning on, blasting all four Fentons and creating four Halfas at once. The whole family has to get used to weird powers and biology. 

MLP: In Another World

When Nightmare Moon returns, and Twilight tries to stand up to her, the Unicorn is kidnapped. Spike, trying desperately to save his big sister, accidentally puts together a Team of a bunch of kids his own age to go on a dangerous quest to recover the Elements of Harmony. 

Spike is the Element of Magic. Applebloom the Element of Loyalty. Sweetie Belle the Element of Honesty. Scootaloo the Element of Kindness. Pipsqueak the Element of Generosity. And Diamond Tiara as Element of Laughter. 

Ben 10: Gwen 10

Oh this was mildly Canon! A Timeline where Gwen finds the Omnitrix first, and it attaches itself to her. She gets to be a Shapeshifting Alien Hero. Meanwhile, Ben ends up a badass Witch. 

Lilo and Stitch: Lilo and Angel

Stitch and Angel swap roles. For whatever reason, Angel is out when Jumba is arrested, and Stitch is in the pods with the rest of the Experiments. Angel is captured too, and either injured or given something to neutralize her voice. She escapes and ends up in Hawai’i, then adopted by Lilo and Nani just like Stitch did in Canon. Stuck there with her voice unable to work, she eventually gets the full Found Family treatment.

Later, during the ‘Series’, we get ‘Experiment 626′ activated. Unsure how this version of Stitch will fit in yet but I’ll come back to it. 

[phoenixyfriend]

The “Momma Sturmvoraus was Literally Satan” AU

As requested by @spazzbot​. This AU was initially brainstormed on the GG fanworks server almost a year ago. Specifically, on the first day of 2020.

[ID: a truncated discord message by “Miss Nixy, Gay for RoboLadies” posted 01/01/2020. The message reads “I need to sleep but please for the moment consider:” and ends there.]

So. Let’s get to it.

Satan took a human form because why not see what's going on topside, live like a human, and “Oh shit is this pregnancy? This is pregnancy. Fuck, that's a tiny human. Which is now half demon. Am I supposed to take care it? Wonder if retconing this form into that Valois family was a bad idea. They do have SO much money though, I get to live like a queen. I suppose another child shouldn't hurt, it wasn't that bad. Oh, he's cute, this is actually making sense, why humans do all the sinning. Not counting dear Aaronev's murders, of course, those are just evil, but I did search out the worst of the humans to pair myself to...”

This is literally just "Tarvek and Anevka's mom was low-key Satan on a bored “let's be human for a decade or two to see what happens” jaunt, consequences happen because these kids are LITERALLY half-demon and arguably anti-Christs."

Also it's just Very Funny for Tarvek, ineffectual sexy lamp fashion twunk extraordinaire, to be an antichrist

Jeff thinks he’s pretty. Jeff keeps describing features that don’t entirely make sense. (Jeff’s canon name is Karl Thotep but they spent so long unnamed that the server collectively named them Jeff.)

This is not a crossover with anything, btw. Ambiguously Pop Culture Satan just got bored and went to have babies with a serial killer.

They’re just kids! That are vaguely demonic. So. Moreso than the rest of the Valois.

Sometimes "mom" comes back from the dead and visits Anevka and Tarvek to impart Wisdom and possibly magic lessons The rooms always smell faintly of sulfur after that...

They try to put Anevka in the machine but SHE isn't hurt and the MACHINE just melts

So that's the end of that.

It's very awkward for everyone, but the paperwork isn't too bad. It's very easy to write "incidental fire began during late-fugue experimentation, resulted in fire spreading through six rooms and several casualties, including Prince Aaronev Wilhelm Sturmvoraus."

As per @atagotiak​, “I feel like if we’re going in any way dimensional weirdness with thing, Tarvek got so good at exploring bc he could just clip through walls.”

With image provided by @thisarenotarealblog​:

Tarvek in Paris: My dead mother keeps showing up in my dreams to tell me I need to seduce my way out of my problems and also she looks like Satan. Tarvek's Voltaire-Appointed Therapist: I still don't know what that means. Just like the last five times. Tarvek: I keep telling her that I can’t seduce Colette, if seduction is that important she should get Anevka to do it.

Like he probably wouldn’t say most of that in front of any Voltaire-approved individual, but still.

Tarvek is still very good at self control but there's a Special Edge to his rants.

(Derailed in the moment to me thinking about Anevka in a sfw-but-concerningly-deadly succubus getup, because... yeah.)

Aaronev dies and goes to hell and his dead wife is just there like "hi! Time to be tortured for eternity!" He wasn't a good husband so. He can't exactly sentimentalize his way out.

“In the sexy way?” “... not for you, no.”

Mostly I just want the BULLSHIT that is "Storm Mom was actually just Satan getting bored and going on vacation as a retconned Valois girl, the kids are half-demons and sometimes it Shows."

To clarify: the Satan bit isn't the retcon. Grandma used to have one daughter. Now there are two. (Seffie and Martellus's mother doesn't remember being an only child, but sometimes...)

Satan retconned a new daughter in, which included a Valid Valois Venusian Vestment, so the blood tests play out.

The subtle signs of wrongness would be fun too. Anevka tends to smile a bit too wide and sharp for a human face. Inexplicable uneasiness, here you can’t point at any specific thing that’s wrong but it’s uncomfortable. Uncanny valley prettiness, almost like the porcelain she became in other timelines. Skin isn’t supposed to be that smooth.

My brain's pre-nap contribution at that point was "Satan's pronouns when not pretending to Human are sin/sinself" which is! Certainly a thing.

Tarvek, at some nebulous future point: I mean, your ancestors were monsters, but my dad was a serial killer and my mom was literally Satan, instead of just figuratively like Lucrezia, so. I mean. I kind of get what you're going through.

Per @firebirdeternal: Tarvek and Anevka growing up with "you're allergic to holy water" and not questioning it until a little later because What.

And then they test it and it's like "yeah, no, there's a rash now. That stung. What the fuck."

It INFURIATES Gil in Paris when Tarvek tells him that's a thing, because there's nothing chemically different about Holy water and regular water. But no, this is somehow happening.

It gets logged in medical journals as a Valois genetic thing because, well, Mom was like that too, right?

One time they both go into a church for an Adventure and Gil is very annoyed to find that Tarvek is like. Faintly smoking. It smells like burnt hair in here.

Gil: What smells like burnt hairgel? Tarvek: [glares]

Gil decides that it must be something particular to the church, like a fungus or something in the stone, contaminating the air and water so it only LOOKS like the holiness is what's setting off reactions.

It is not.

Tarvek once got into an argument with someone and ate a slab of raw, completely uncooked meat as a power move.

SVV seems to work perfectly. Everyone is fine. We get the ‘you fight like ducks’ moment.

And then Tarvek bursts into flames, and everyone panics because no they fixed this what the fuck is he still infected with Hogfarb’s oh my god... and then everything settles down and he's perfectly fine. Not a scratch on him, no longer turning funny colors. Completely unharmed. He's in a nicely tailored suit and looks faintly stunned

"I just met my dead mom, who's apparently Satan. She told me that after I died the first time just now, I should be harder to kill later, especially with fire, because now there's more demon and less mortal and guys I think I'm going crazy." "Is that a martini?" Tarvek looks down. "Apparently."

Tarvek starts just. Randomly setting things on fire by glaring too hard and has to tone it down. Meanwhile, Agatha and Gil are having crises about how he's somehow getting PRETTIER.

Is he faintly glowing? Maybe!

Gil handles it by angrily sniping at Tarvek about how of COURSE he's an evil little rat with a background like that.

Tarvek just wants a nap and to forget this ever happened. Many people are sworn to secrecy. It's very awkward.

Still, SVV did something, for handwave-y reasons, and so they're linked now. Gil and Agatha both getting tiny flashes of the same shenanigans.

They get none of the powers. They just keep getting Weird Shit.

Other characters with divine influence are like "Did you.... did you make a pact with a demon?" "What no that's our boyfriend."

Tho tbh I wouldn’t be surprised if a Heterodyne did sign a contract with a demon at some point in exchange for like. Materials. A hundred souls sacrificed in exchange for some succubus blood. Thanks!

Tarvek and Othar: Falling out of CW as in canon. Tarvek: WHAT THE HELL SINCE WHEN DO I HAVE WINGS HIDE THIS BEFORE I GET BOOTED FROM THE LINE FOR THE THRONE

IDK where Anevka is during all this. I think she might have decided to go sleep her way through the courts of the Ice Tsars. Vacation, y'know?

Othar after he's decided to make Tarvek his new Heroic Apprentice: AH, my poor afflicted young friend, it's noble of you to go against the dark nature of your tragic heritage like this. Tarvek: I hate you. I wish I could hate you to death. But you have a point. I shouldn't let my father's blood limit what I strive for in life. Othar: I... I thought your mother was... Tarvek: I know what I said.

Tarvek: Also you can't tell ANYONE about that, I can't have them thinking I'm not actually in line for the Storm King's throne.

He does admittedly have to like. Explain things to Grandma.

Terabithia is Tarvek’s maternal grandmother so this is supremely awkward. That said...

Grandma fondly remembers her pregnancy cravings; bone marrow and sulfur.

"Yeah so, my mother, your daughter, was... maybe actually Satan? But retconned into your life?" "Tarvek, darling, please. I figured that out half a century ago."

TARVEK ACCIDENTALLY FINDS HIM HIMSELF WEIRDLY INTENSE AT CONTRACTS

I mean that honestly just Tracks about Tarvek anyways? But like moreso.

He just. Writes something up and there's things getting signed or shook on and then the person tries to break the contract and either suddenly catch fire or are deeply unlucky for a set amount of time.

And Tarvek's just standing there like "how in the FUCK did I do that?"

Severity of infernal punishment depends on the severity of the breach of contract.

Tarvek finds out that Anevka's been convincing rich people to sign their souls over to her. It's a fun challenge. She keeps them in jars.

They can still remotely pilot their bodies but like. They can't TELL anyone what happened.

Satan: I'm going to go make babies and now everyone else has to deal with the consequences.

Anevka's living up to that whole "princess of hell" vibe. Tarvek's just like "nope nope nope I want the storm throne, not the hell throne, BYE MOM."

Satan's just feeling sinself down in hell like "awwww look at my babies go, aren't they adorable?"

Tarvek: Anevka, what... first off, how did you figure it out? Anevka: Well, I temporarily died when father put me in the machine, and... I can't say that hell kicked me out because they were afraid I'd take over, but mother DID say she'd rather I play about with human governments instead of Hell's. Tarvek: Okay, cool cool cool. What after you planning to DO with all these souls? Anevka: They make for some lovely reading lamps, don't they?

(Anevka absolutely sets herself the goal of acquiring new titles that rival her old ones, or even surpass them. She just black widows her way through Europa.)

I just want someone (probably Snackleford) to ascend, take one look at Tarvek, and run SCREAMING.

Tarvek still needed to be anchored to Higgs, because Tarvek is Baby.

Gil is eventually in a relationship with an Eternal God Queen and the Literal Son of Satan.

Family dinners can include ALL the in-laws if you duck down to hell! - You borrow Bill from... probably heaven, maybe purgatory. - You have Lu and Aaronev and Satan already there, though the first two... well. Aaronev and Lu get invited to dinner but they have to eat by themselves at the kiddy table and nobody talks to them or acknowledges their presence. After all, this is hell, and what better punishment for Lu than to be completely ignored, and for Aaronev to see Lu at her worst and be reminded that he gave everything for this horrible, horrible person who isn't even pretending to care about him anymore. - Zanta and Klaus get invited via portal. - Anevka saunters in with a blood-soaked dress and a complaint about militant demon-hunters refusing to let her go shopping for a new pair of shoes. - Zeetha tagged along with the OT3. (She can't wait to see this situation explode.)

Oh God, Satan is actually second place as far as good parenting goes.

Well, actually, fourth. Because Adam and Lilith. But second as far as bio parents go. 1. Zanta 2. Satan 3. Klaus 4/5. Lu and Aaronev N/A. Bill

Someone (Anevka) decides to stir the pot and invites Von Pinn, Terabithia, Bang.

Bang is basically Gil’s older sister, right? Right.

This is Zanta meeting Bang for the first time! Zanta is just: "It's so nice to meet my husband's adopted daughter." Klaus freezes. Bang freezes. Gil is the only one who is just. "Yeah." Meanwhile Zeetha is crying with laughter off to the side because both of them deserve this. (Zanta would legit love Bang though.)

Agatha: Tarvek, I think DuPree is-- Tarvek: Hitting on my sister? I know. Agatha: On your mom, actually. Tarvek: NO!

Also I do love the idea of like. Nobody tells Bang they're inviting her. She just wakes up in Hell like. "Ah. Yes. Fair enough."

Satan: Oh no no no my dear, you're here as a guest. Besides as well as you'd fit you're not one of mine, you've got other things waiting for you. Bang: Okay, but I love the decor. And is that Cheesecake?

Bang’s family has their own evil god in the novels, but! Bang DID pick on Tarvek a lot in Paris. Satan cares more than Anevka does. Bang might get the sexy punishment.

I feel like the fact that no permanent damage was done and it taught Tarvek a lot of things means Satan isn't gonna be all that upset about it.

And let's be real, if there's a character in GG who could look the literal Christian devil in the eye and be like "Yeah I tortured your kid, what're you going to do about it?" it's Bang.

Even Satan doesn't know what to do or think about Othar.

He sure is here! As Anevka’s arm candy! Nobody knows what to do except Anevka herself, who just wants to be Smug.

(What's that scene from Phineas and Ferb that's the mad scientist trapping the platypus within the rules of polite dining at a fine restaurant? Like he can't make a scene because that would be rude?) (That. Othar would dearly love to start a fight, but it's a Family Dinner. You're only allowed to fight verbally at those.)

(Othar isn't even fighting Satan, he just wants to argue with Klaus.) (And maybe fanboy in Bill's direction a bit).

[bestworstcase]

Your opinion on diadem au zhan tiri ?

😭 my beloved

oh boy

further thoughts under the cut because i have some highly controversial™️ things to say

& to be clear. yes i read the entire fic.

so. the premise here is there are “mythics,” a group encompassing both magical creatures and human mages, and at some point an indeterminate amount of time prior to the beginning of the story, the kingdom of corona drove its mythics out and pressured five of the other seven kingdoms into signing the “mythic accords,” which made it illegal for mythics to exist in these countries. diadem—the dark kingdom analogue, this is a dark prince cassandra AU—was the only country to abstain.

zhan tiri’s family (henceforth zitifam) were among the coronan mages forced out of their homes. they, and six kingdoms worth of other refugees, sought asylum in diadem. the zitifam pledged fealty to the crown of diadem and ultimately became established as a family of court mages and advisors. further notes:

1 - a fan wrote an epistolary fanfic of the fic that is an account of a group of child refugees coming from corona to diadem, which reveals in the end that these children are the orphaned offspring of mythics whom corona disappeared when they resisted the forced exile. this is directly referenced as an in-universe text in the final chapter of diadem proper, so it can be considered as ‘canon’ within the universe of the au.

2 - while it’s unclear precisely when all of this happened, it began a long time ago; in chapter 18, zhan tiri describes her family’s desire for vengeance as “centuries-old.”

3 - diadem’s streets are evidently “overflowing with mythic refugees with nowhere else to go.”

4 - 18 years ago, there was a “peaceful advocate group” of mythics known as the nightingales. their approach to reversing the mythic accords involved “lend[ing] their magic to anyone who needed help,” with the intention of “showing the people that magic is nothing to be afraid of and encouraging them to open their minds.”

king frederic turned to them for help when arianna fell ill whilst pregnant with rapunzel. their leader, an unnamed sorceress, agreed to help in exchange for the lifting of the accords in corona. it’s a little unclear precisely what happened, but the story as recounted by rapunzel (who learns of this via a vision) seems to imply that frederic intended to execute this woman after arianna was saved, and she chose to kill herself first and, in the process and unbeknownst to frederic, bequeath her magic to rapunzel.

after the apparent murder of their leader, the nightingales planned an uprising—but rapunzel was kidnapped before they could enact this plan, and frederic assumed they were to blame and raided their homes, arresting and imprisoning or exiling every mythic the guards could catch. lady caine was among the children orphaned by these raids; her father fled to diadem without her, settled down and got married, went eighteen years without trying to contact her, and kept on with the “peaceful advocacy” thing because he is a useless bootlicking centrist.

anyways,

5 - the pertinent part of #3 and #4 is that the situation in corona is ongoing. the original purges and creation of the accords happened centuries ago, enforcement appears to have lapsed for a while, and under frederic’s reign corona’s persecution of mythics ramped up again, resulting in a second purge around eighteen years ago and subsequent decades of extreme hostility. when rapunzel is outed as a mage, frederic sets the royal guard on her, that’s how bad it is. even the literal princess of corona is not safe.

6 - further, in chapter 8, it is implied that the mythic accords may have required that participating nations intercept mythics fleeing through their borders (to what end is unclear; imprisonment or execution seems likely, but we learn this by way of arianna noting that antipe chose *not* to intervene when mythic refugees passed through en route to diadem, in defiance of the accords). antipean scholars recorded the stories of these refugees and collected artifacts and enchanted heirlooms from them which are now housed in the spire. it is worth noting that when the accords are repealed in the final chapter, these items are not returned to their rightful owners.

7 - arianna, who is antipean, privately thinks the accords are bad and expresses that she has “no personal grief” with mythics and “looks back with fondness” on mythic friends she met as a young woman, but she has done nothing about this because “that matters little when you are the queen of Corona.” her hands are tied—until frederic chases rapunzel out of corona, at which point she finds the wherewithal and public support to stage a coup against her husband within a matter of days. rapunzel is a mythic and likewise just kind of sits on her ass doing nothing except pining for cass and occasionally angsting about how her father hates mythics, until the point where she’s driven out of her home, at which time her first priority is reconciling with cass and her second priority is making sure corona doesn’t face any consequences. she can understand genocide but she draws the line at going to war to stop genocide. and prince cass i’m pretty sure isn’t even aware that there’s a refugee crisis happening in her own kingdom because she is an ignoramus. our heroes, ladies and gentlefolk.

hokay. i’m pretty sure that covers everything.

it is never referred to as such in the text of the story itself, but… calling it what it is, the premise of the diadem au is that corona instigated a centuries-long genocide of mythics, resulting in a massive refugee crisis in the one kingdom that refused to participate. the zitifam escaped this genocide, eventually secured a high station in the country that offered them asylum, and now seek to use their influence to persuade diadem’s queen edith declare war against corona and end things once and for all. this is framed, in the story, as a cruel and selfish desire for revenge, but like.

um.

corona is actively doing genocide? hello??

anyway, diadem zhan tiri.

she gets her first POV section in chapter 10, which establishes her basic goals (inciting war against corona to avenge the lives destroyed by corona’s genocide and put an end to it) and also establishes that she is viscerally terrified of her own family because she will be “disowned or worse” if she fails to accomplish this. (she is also baffled to discover that prince cass actually cares about someone, which is funny because she’s completely right, considering how utterly miserable, paranoid, and unpleasant cass is in this au)

she discovers at this point that cass’s mysterious “friend” is the princess of corona and that they’re meeting up every couple weeks to fuck in the woods. she is, understandably, alarmed by this, and takes immediate and drastic steps to interfere with their relationship before cass can do something crazy like pursue a closer alliance with corona, the kingdom that is engaged in genocide against zhan tiri’s people,

which is to say, zhan tiri makes a pact with demons to grant herself enough power to singlehandedly incite a war, in exchange for her own life. it is…pretty clear that she considers this to be a desperate last resort, and she psyches herself up for it by thinking about the anguish of her family and the plight of all the impoverished refugees living in diadem. i. i’m not even exaggerating here:

Zahn Tiri closes her eyes, breathing deeply as she disrobes. Her heart pounds in her chest, as though begging her to reconsider this desecration, but she tightens her grip on the blade’s hilt and banishes her doubts. She thinks of the sorrow in her elders’ faces when they speak of their regrets that they will likely not live to see their homeland again. She thinks of Diadem’s streets, overflowing with mythic refugees with nowhere else to go. She thinks of the stubborn queen, of how she only needs one good reason to send her warriors marching on Corona. She thinks of the day that King Frederic falls on a Diadem blade, repaying the debt of blood that he owes.

in chapter 13, we learn a bit more about what exactly zhan tiri does to herself:

This ritual is irreversible, and corrupts the magic and the very life-force of the caster forever. Such practices are incredibly dangerous, and have historically been attempted only by the very desperate. In addition to risking their own lives, mythic clans and societies do not hesitate to banish practitioners of dark magic.

and she uses this power to - rapid fire plot summary:

1 - cast a decay spell on cassandra’s hand a la RATGT in such a way that it appears to be a failed assassination attempt by rapunzel

2 - persuades queen edith to declare war against corona

3 - does her damnedest to manipulate cass into going along with this

4 - when she’s caught, flees and transforms into a massive monster a la Plus Est to attack corona by herself

which. like. good for her? good for her.

she’s canon cass with a heroic motive. she’s canon cass if the reason cass took the moonstone was to literally stop a genocide. i… i don’t know how else to say it SKDJFKSKS

1 - self-sacrificing to the point of self-destruction

2 - burning up with rage over the real injustices done to her (& her people)

3 - only “friend” is a prince(ss) with no empathy who never listens to a word she says and doesn’t give a damn about her problems

4 - out of sheer desperation turns to a dangerous and destructive source of power in order to achieve her goals

and the key difference between them is that when canon cass loses her shit it’s because she’s trying frantically to prove that she matters and when diadem zhan tiri loses her shit it’s because she is TRYING. TO. STOP. A. GENOCIDE.

meanwhile the “heroic” characters suggest that hating corona is just as bigoted and wrong as corona’s genocidal hatred of mythics, that going to war is wrong because it would be “catastrophic” and “people are going to die,” and that the right way to end literal centuries of genocide is to politely ask the people in charge to please stop because anger is bad and violent resistance is never okay.

and then like after she turns into a monster and attacks the coronan palace, cass and rapunzel kill her and everything is okay because arianna staged a coup and they can just repeal the mythic accords! and at the end when rapunzel feels vaguely uncomfortable with the fact that they killed zhan tiri, cass is like don’t be! she was awful and deserved to die! and it makes me want to yeet myself into the stratosphere.

i just 😭😭 diadem zhan tiri

she deserved so much better my heart aches

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Ideas : Bad Joke

Also on AO3

TL;DR: 

While it would be accurate to call Izuku the son of the two heroes Ms Joke and Eraserhead, it'd be more accurate to call him the collective child of the Mustutafu hero community.

(to see where this idea - loosely - came from and better (and more depressingly) explored, try Gallows Humour by Nuclear_Equipped_Walking_Battle_Tank)

General Prompt: Izuku is the Biological son of Aizawa Shouta and Fukukado Emi. Lets get into it!

So; Izuku is the product of a one night stand very shortly after graduation. They were both mostly trying to get over other people - it didn’t work, at all. Aizawa and Mic have just moved in together, so Emi joins them. It’s honestly some of the best times of their lives, even if its a mess. Nemuri visits so often she may as well be living there and they plot for the future.

Emi and Nemuri start and on again off again thing that never really dies. Aizawa and Mic finally get over themselves and start dating before Izuku is even born, Emi is very proud Aizawa managed to talk about his feelings for once in his life.

Quirkless Izuku for this one.

The four young adults live together until Izuku is around 3, whereupon they get offers to teach at Ketsubutsu and UA respectively. Their apartment is too far from both schools, so they make the decision to live in different homes from then on. Everyone cries, even though they see each other on the weekends.

It’s one week at Emi’s, one week at Aizawa’s until Izuku starts preschool. He starts preschool near Emi’s house but after she finds out about Bakugo being a little brat, they look for another. The only one with openings is near Aizawa, so that’s where he goes. Ends up being childhood friends with Tenya and Momo.

The three of them are a collection of very smart, very nice children. They all are, however, too heroic for their tiny child bodies and Izuku and Tenya will try and fight anyone they see being a jerk and Momo has perfected the art of distracting the teachers. They are a team to be feared – even If none of them are tall enough to reach a kitchen sink.

Tenya and Momo are both often at fancy parties and they always bring Izuku so it’s a little team of children in suits and fancy dresses all holding hands while Izuku drags them up to every hero and excitedly asks for an autograph and rambles about their quirks. Basically everyone loves them.

I

zuku spends so much time at UA and Ketsubutsu he has his own ID card for each school. The staff love him. Aizawa and Emi tried to keep him away from work, but the moment Izuku saw other pro heroes there was no hope, the kid just looks like you’ve given him the whole world and boy are the two of them weak for their little man.

Nezu ends up making Izuku his little apprentice and teaches the kid stuff above his level in subjects that interest him. Hes not crazy ahead of the curve in general subjects but he’s a sharp kid with a good eye for quirks.

In analysis though hes hard to outclass, even as a child. He just as a knack for putting things together, even without doing it intentionally. After a little training from Nezu he becomes impossible to lie to which is a great skill for a hero, but a really aggravating skill for a 5 year old.

“Can I be a hero?” “Sprout, you could probably be a duck if you put your mind to it, I’m pretty sure no one can stop you doing anything.” “I’ve tried.”

Izuku’s personality is pretty similar to canon, but more like current canon than past. He’s socially awkward, can’t handle a crowd unless he’s in a fight or presentation (same vibe tbh) and easily flustered, but he’s more sure of himself and social. Most of his issues with being quirkless come from society at large rather than the people around him.

He also has a sense of humour! It’s much drier than you’d expect from knowing the kid, but he gets it from Aizawa.

Also, his hair is different because no one can stop me from making minor cosmetic changes. Less true green more iridescent black. Neon green eyes too.

Gets One for All, All Might knew Izuku as a child because if you’re a pro and your kid loves All Might more than oxygen, you abuse your connections to arrange a meetup. All Might falls in love with this tiny good boy, and becomes pretty good friends with Mic, Aizawa and Emi in one of the strangest friendships the world has ever seen.

50% of it is everyone, including Izuku, trying to force All Might to take care of himself. The other 50% is them just doing it for him anyway. Izuku has learnt that if he falls asleep on All Might, the man can not make himself move from that spot until Izuku wakes up. He abuses this.

All Might is just the fun uncle who shows up with presents randomly and you let him in because he’s trying his best.

He actually asks permission from Izuku’s parent’s ab giving him One for All, they basically go with “Nothing was going to stop this kid being a hero but fuck will that make life easier”

This AU basically includes Izuku, his two dads, his two mums, his fun uncles All Might and Nighteye, his weird grandpa Gran Torino and his crazy ??? Nezu. It’s the world’s oddest family.

In an act only Aizawa and Izuku could manage, they kinda,,, forget,,, to tell 1A they are related. Shouto still asks if All Might is Izuku’s dad and he loses his shit laughing for so long  he gets uncomfortable.

Bakugo is aware, he and Izuku were good friends and kids but had a falling out when Izuku’s quirk didn’t come in. Bakugo just assumes he was a late bloomer and while he doesn’t say sorry because hes a brat, hes about as nice as Bakugo gets. He kinda whispers “isn’t,,, that,, your dad” and Izuku just nods. Bakugo says nothing more because its fucking hilarious.

Literally the moment they work it out is when Ketsubusu comes over to see them in the Provisional License exam. Izuku just turns to Aizawa, deadpan “Goodbye Father, I’m leaving you to live with Mother.” “Back Monday like usual?” Izuku and Joke just start wheezing. The whole class is silent and lost and it’s at that moment Izuku and Aizawa realise they maybe kinda forgot to tell 1A. Izuku is just rolling on the ground laughing ,Aizawa has buried his face in his capture weapon to hide his own snickers and Bakugo is fucking wheezing, leaving poor Tenya and Momo the job of explaining exactly what the fuck is happening.

[olliya]

Fic Writer Review - tag game

Thank you so much for tagging me @tuliharja! I’m still not quite mentally back to the fandom and tumblr... But I’m working on it!!!

1. How many fics on AO3?

30. There is a bit less on ffnet, because recently I kind of stopped posting there...

2. Total AO3 word count?

466416. Wow. A lot...

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Naruto - 28

Bokurano - 1

Jujutsu Kaisen  - 1 (I tagged this single fic as JJK (Manga) and JJK (Anime) and now I have no clue why on my page it is listed separately, which gives impression that I have 2 fics in JJK and 31 fics altogether... Maybe I should untag JJK (Anime) or something...)

4. Top Five by Kudos?

The Last Ones Standing

Origin of the Never Seen

On Her Track (completely unexpected!?!?!!? A fresh oneshot so high? And the one published during publishing of Come Home marathon????)

Have We Met Before? (another oneshot, but that was for the event...)

Dreamt

Ok, I’m a bit shocked that Come Home is only 6th... That Veil is even lower....

5. Do you respond to comments, why/why not?

So, until half a year ago the answer would have been a crystal-clear YES. But I have to say that recently, especially after finishing of TLOS there were quite a lot of those complaining comments (esp. on ffnet) and seriously, if I had answered them, it would have been really sharp, so I held my tongue in many cases.

Also - and for that I really have bad consciousness - several very long and thoughtful reviews came very late (several months after the finish of TLOS) and I was already neck deep in Come Home and... I didn’t answer in time... I didn’t have time and mental space to write a suitable answer discussing all the points of the review. I am so sorry about that...

6. What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Awakening is soo angsty, all of it, especially the ending. Maybe Wall has an angsty ending as well, but imo it is more scary than angsty.

Also both my non-Naruto fics are angsty as hell.

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written?

No. Somehow, I don’t see much appeal.

8. Have you received hate on a fic?

Nah... Some, imo ungrounded and stupid criticism, but that’s not hate.

9. Do you write smut?

Yup! Gladly!

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge. I once read a fic that had a plot veeeery similar to one of my oneshots (and it struck a wrong vein in me), but it was not that someone stole it... Just got overly inspired, I guess...

11. Ever had a fic translated?

Oh Yes!!!!! Huge thanks to all my translators!!! Actually, most meaningful and deep fandom interactions came through the translations of my work, so I am so unbelievable grateful that people took their time to spread my works.

@yomi-gaeru is translating TLOS to Chinese (it is posted on AO3 and on many other Chinese pages - I know Lofter is one of them)

Most of my fics were translated to Russian. Dreamt by LeeTaeKim, Veil over Their Eyes by Маленькая_девочка_  and last but not least, almost all the rest was wonderfully, patiently, carefully and beautifully (and sometime heroically as well) translated by @kotoffeya. Her page on fikbook where she posts the translations is here.

12. Ever co-written a fic before?

Kind of. @victoriacapo has so many ideas and they often somehow click with me in just the right way and I write them down. There is quite a list of them already: Price of Creativity, Wall, Dancing with the Stranger, Other Man’s Treasure, and last but not least Pass the Test.

13. All-time favourite ship?

Madara x Sakura!!!

14. What's a WIP you want to finish, but don't think you ever will?

Oh, Pass the Test lies so heavy on my heart... But I really cannot find the inspiration...

There is also another fic, WIP is a wrong way to call it becasue it is barely started, but it‘s a big, complex and daunting project and... I didn’t even really start. And I’m not sure if I will...

I also had so many ideas and started projects for the fandoms stats back then when I was doing a lot of it. But I don’t remember most of the ideas.

15. What are your writing strengths?

Hmmm... I’m not sure tbh. Maybe conveying emotions? maybe complexity of emotions?

Maybe someone can tell me?

What people did repetitively tell me is that I write Madara very well, that I write him authentic and IC. He is for sure effortless to write for me.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Lol, plots. Until recently I would have said ‘getting an idea’ but writing Come Home has healed me from that.

17. What are your thoughts of writing dialogue in other languages?

Well, I *am* writing them all in an *other* language, lol. English is *other* language for me. (Crying to tears about how anglo-centric this question is). And yes, I am uncomfortable writing casual speech. That’s also one of the reasons why I’m uncomfortable writing Modern AUs.

As for changing the language inside the fic - I don’t see really a purpose. There would have to be a really specific plot-reason for the inclusion of additional language for this operation to make sense.

18. First fandom you wrote for?

Naruto. I started writing in 2016.

19. Favourite fic you've ever written?

TLOS and Come Home. I am super proud of TLOS, and it is definitely my best work, but... I think Come Home wins. Even though it is *just* a collection of oneshots. But so much heart went into it, and - even though it is invisible to a bystander - there is a thread of themes, of certain logic that is strung through all these short stories and it is very precious to me.

Hmm, whom to tag... I didn’t talk to you for such a long time... maybe someone will still answer?

I tag traditionally: @yangssunglasses, @itsravencrone, @rhearenee-magane, @kendochick-moor @purple-possibilities, @sunsetbivd

[hermitcraftheadcanons]

Pirate AU Masterpost

Different ships captained and crewed by different hermits, maybe some could be normal sailors too? Or maybe even some could be sirens? There could be a pirate ship, a pirate hunting ship/law-keeping ship, some random shipping vessels, some sirens or sea monsters, or whatever else! I envision Doc as a pirate captain and Xisuma as the law enforcement captain, but it's open to whatever changes! (@-shadeswiftdraws.)

Headcanons to start us off:

-Bdubs is a fruity sailor.

-Cub and Scar sell things to both pirates and the law enforcement. They only take the aide of profit.

-DocM threatened Bdubs into joining him. Whether it worked is up to the 'what gets popular' Gods. If not, he probably just holds Bdubs hostage or something.

-Hypnotizd's bandana has a skull and crossbones on it, as does Etho's headband.

-False is feared by Doc.

-Grian has a parrot that always sits on his shoulder. Doc keeps telling him to get rid of it but Grian refuses.

-Iskall wears an eyepatch.

-Hypnotizd has scurvy.

-iJevin makes maps and sells em to pirates to keep them off his back. Did he bury the treasure? I dunno.

-All of ZIT collectively own a boat. They like to pretend its a yacht and have fun. Sometimes they just use it to relax, sometimes they just go fishing. Sometimes they scare each other with stories of pirates and massive storms.

-Joe Hills is scared of the water because he nearly drowned as a child. But when he ends up accidentally stowing away on the ZIT boat, his worst fears happen.

-Keralis is Xisuma's second in command.

-TFC is a retired sailor that knows too much.

-VintageBeef and basically all of the NHO are with Doc.

-XbCrafted grew up by the beach and likes to collect shells. One time he found a fossil of a dinosaur. What will he do? I don't know. His childhood friend, Hypnotizd, left to be a pirate. Xb hasn't heard from him since (he promised he'd write letters,) and fears the worst.

-ZombieCleo is a dead zombie captain. Her and her crew (the gals, and maybe some co,) are out to get their revenge on Doc. Her second in command is Stress but her main muscle in False.

-Mumbo is usually the one who works maintenance on the ship. (He's with Xisuma.)

-Rendog got stuck on an island he's called 'Loser Island' and has been there for at least a year. He's found by Doc.

-Stressmonster makes people fear her through her name, but they usually laugh when they see her because she's really unintimidating.

-Welsknight hoardes cool swords.

-Everyone underestimates Stress when they see her but those who have faced her in battle have realized their mistake. She is slowly but surely gaining the reputation as one of the most feared pirates of the seven seas. She’s still very sweet if you get to know her tho - 🌙

-At some point while attempting to leave the ZIT crew's yacht, Joe somehow ends up with Cleo and the gals in the middle of the ocean, who take pity on him. Because they help him with his fear and take care of him on the way back to land, he decides to stick with them for good. The Navy and a lot of other pirates don't believe that Cleo can be the captain of such a feared vessel or that False can be that deadly and decide that Joe must be doing it all. He takes joy in deferring to Cleo whenever he can, and the whole crew gets a laugh out of his combat attempts. He mainly handles navigation and stuff, though he does record their adventures and anonymously submit them to newspapers and/or publish his accounts. (Don't want to skip the Joe+ZIT stuff, just love him and Cleo and need that dynamic :-) )

-Half siren/merman grian? - Frost Anon

-Different anon adding to the Merman Wels idea, he's a siren but instead of stealing your life he steals your swords and shinies. Some pirates may be on good terms with him and gives him swords occasionally and ask for directions or just hang out with him and be nice (I'd think Ren would sing with him and Jevin would hang out and steal shinies with him landing both their crews on good terms with him. He may even follow them around as it can be lonely in the ocean)

-Mumbo never meant to be a pirate. There was just a mutiny of the last captain he was under and everyone liked him enough to keep him around.

-Some loser thinks that joe is the muscle of the group and asks for a duel. cleo decides fuck it and just pushes joe into a fight with them because thats how she be sometimes. (False is on standby so joe doesn't get creamed)

-https://hermitcraftheadcanons.tumblr.com/post/619926302710956032/another-take-on-the-pirate-au-concept

- At some point, Cleo's ship begins picking up stray orphaned children. They are kept safe below deck during battle and are taught by the crew how to run a ship and fight, but Cleo also teaches them stuff like how to read and do math. The crew is very protective of the young'uns and the ship eventually becomes known for the fact that they take care of kids. Most other ships, upon learning this, respect that and don't attack them. If a ship does, they will find that the Rotten Corpse is viscous, and has many powerful friends who will back them up. If Doc or X come across Cleo's ship, they will give the kids gifts and stay close for a bit to provide protection. As the kids grow up some go back to shore and build legitimate/legal lives (including opening an orphanage) but a group of them go off and become their own pirate crew! Their ship's name? I don't know, I'm not clever.

-In a tavern someone's just like "im gonna sail to this island." Tfc, sitting nearby "you wont find anything" a little while later that ship goes missing. No one actually knows what tfc found in his sailing days. But my god does he know where to avoid

(All above in red are from our community's lovely Anons!)

-The ZIT boat is a bit of a disaster because each person always thinks it's the other people's turn to maintain it. Joe probably saw it on an evening beach walk and thought it was abandoned, decided to explore it, and accidentally fell asleep in the hold. He wakes up to the ZIT boys arguing about what to do with him.

-Xisuma has a reputation for being strict and disciplined and running a very tight ship, but if you're actually on his crew you'll know that's a front for intimidation purposes. In reality he is organised but extremely forgiving, and he will often sit down with crew who are new or going through something stressful and talk it out with them.

-Iskall is with Cleo's crew, he appears just as driven as the rest of them but he's mostly just there to make sure Cleo and co don't go too overboard with the revenge thing. He just doesn't want them to do something they'll regret....

-Wels can be a merman! He hoards cool swords as souvenirs of the surface world and dreams of two-legged adventurers and explorers.

-The "incident" that put Cleo on the path of undead revenge was partially accidental. Doc's goal was to raid the ship and get away with no casualties, but things escalated way too quickly. He is haunted by what happened, but Cleo doesn't know that and is determined to hunt him and his crew down.

-Pirate singalong nights! Doc's ship definitely has a singalong under the stars every night, where everyone can gather together and relax and let loose. It's fun to think about who would be good at it, and who would be bad at it but sing anyway ☺️

-Grian starts off on Doc's ship (with his parrot), but he gets washed overboard in a storm. Siren!Wels rescues him and gives him siren magic.

-I got tired of referring to "Xisuma's ship" and "Doc's ship", so: X's ship is called the Voidrunner, and Doc's vessel is the Black Goat. (Cleo's is The Rotting Corpse -Anon.)

-(I did a submission mentioning ConPost earlier, so look at that for context) The ConPost boys don't sail, but they're very knowledgable about sailing supplies and even ship repair. Cub does bookkeeping and negotiates big deals. Scar likes to wander the docks checking stock levels, with Jellie napping in piles of rope or following close behind.

-https://hermitcraftheadcanons.tumblr.com/post/619819577428279296/for-the-pirate-au-cub-and-scar-own-a-supply

-Xisuma is feared and respected by pirates because his ship is one of the first/only steam powered vessels at the time. Mumbo is his engineer; he maintains the mechanics and is constantly testing ways to make the ship faster and more efficient.

-If you ask Iskall why he wears an eye patch, you will get a wild tale of adventure and heroic battle that may take an hour to relate. However, the story is different every time. He actually lost his eye in a completely non-pirate related accident as a child. It just sounds cooler the way he tells it 😂

- About Joe moving from the ZIT crew to Cleo's ship: Joe really wants to be taken back to shore, and the ZIT lads understand his fear of water and try to take him back as soon as possible. However, they get caught in a storm, and the boat isn't in great shape to weather it. The boat is not quite wrecked, but badly damaged, and Joe is washed overboard. Cleo's crew finds him and pulls him aboard to save him (maybe siren!Wels helped bring him to her!)

-As a pirate Etho is known for his skill in boarding enemy ships. It doesn't matter how many ropes you cut, how many pirate grappling hooks you throw into the sea in an effort to keep them from your decks. Even if there's no possible way across, Etho will just sort of.. . End Up on your ship, and you will end up in Davy Jones' locker. (Based on the creepy teleport thing with Grian, and just Etho's general cryptid-ness)

-The sea spray and the general ocean humidity is horrible for Doc's arm. Ren helps him keep it as clean and rust-proof as possible, but it still probably squeaks a lot and stiffens up sometimes.

(-@shadeswiftdraws.)

-ZombieCleo's gal (& co.) crew includes Iskall. [More info pending for when I finally get around to watching s6 and see the infamous Iskall & Stress duo in action] (-@basaltdragon.)

-Inspired by shade: Cub is an ex-sailor, and Scar grew up in a family of fishers. Cub was really good at ship maintainence (he just got sick of the politics), and Scar loved keeping stock of the fishing nets and what sort of fish were caught, how much they might sell for, though he's not as good at repairs.

-For the Pirate AU, Mumbo telling Siren/MerGrian stories of the surface world and (secretly?) making a way for Grian to see it for himself. (-@shiniestumbreon.)

-Pirate au: one day there is a really bad storm that destroys all of the hermits boats except for one of them. So now all the hermits are all on one boat that’s really far away from land. (Angst part) some of them went over board (I’m thinking the captains maybe) so the remaining hermits are either grieving them or looking desperately hoping that their crew mates are still alive and clinging to wreckage. Who they find, if they do find any of them is up to the reader for now. (-@lookitsspacekween.)

- Mumbo, being the spoon he is always forgets where he buries his treasure. (-@xxpzmistxx.)

-Mumbo, as the Voidrunner's engineer, has so much to work on that Xisuma will sometimes take over the maintenance so poor Mumbo can get some sleep. This leads to the hunt for a secondary engineer and maybe that's how Mumbo and Iskal end up meeting. (-@my-cat-is-a-bastard.)

-A cat scratched out Iskall's eye as a kid, and he's too embarrassed to tell anyone. He's still a bit afraid of cats, so you'll always see him keeping a close eye on Jellie when he's at the dock. (-@12u3ie.)

- i dont really know much about pirates but ima try!! ok so, cleo is human, but she gets the nickname "zombie cleo" because she faked her own death. people thought she drowned, and her old crew along with her. most of them went to live normal lives under different names, but cleo missed the sea and eventually returned to being a pirate, eventually becoming the capitain of a new ship. (i hope this makes sense lol) (-@bakubakunyanyaa.)

-Pirate headcanons! As someone said before Ren and Wels are friends and like to sign together. I can imagine Wels telling the Black Goat that there is a treasure burried in Loser Island to get Ren rescued. Also! People think Ren is halve siren/has siren magic as he is really good at singing and the melodies he hums are similar to the ones sirens are said to sing, turns out just a bit of siren magic and Wels singing style rubbed on Ren during all the time they spent together singing.

-More pirate hc cause i have no self control and they are not a lot of them: Doc gives shiny stuff to Wels in exchange of him warning them when X’s crew is on a port. Iskall is also a great engineer and is working to make the Rotten Corpse Steam powered too. He insist Cleo to let him take a peek on the Voidrunner to see if he can copy Mumbo’s work, the gals agree this is the most dangerous idea Iskall has.

(-@ivi-prism.)

-Ship AU! Hypno originally joined the ship's crew with his friend, Jessassin. They became a swashbuckling duo, and still sometimes work together, despite Jessassin's inactivity from pirate duties. (-@calmshejaguar.)

[sariels-world-ella]

I thought to write out a quick origin of Sariel's world, it's under the cut if you're interested in reading it,

also Sylphs' OC Ulyssa @sylphs-talks @ulyssas-story mentioned, Slyphs is a really cool and awesome person aswell as a great artist and I do recommend following her, aswell as her au @ask-personashift

Sariel's World is a collection of Timelines where Sariel exists in, ever since Sariel became a soul amalgamation of herself across her timelines and gain full 100% 4th wall awareness realizing she has no free will and the world she lives in is fake and soon as she is cast aside and forgotten she'll just fade away, she became very narcissistic and distracted with the world she lives in because of this also since she has control over the timelines and can bring back the dead she has no fear of consequences of her actions.

Eventually she managed to be so bad, she managed to even get disowned by her parents in her main timeline this actually caused her real distress and decided to not just manipulate her timelines in this fan-timeline of Undertale and to affect the whole multiverse to what she wishes so she can be happy and never get bored.

However everytime she messed with an AU the canon timeline bugs and more often than not creates another AU Sariel, which Sariel dispises as she feels like they will take away attention from her and Ella/Me will draw and focus on them instead of her but she must deal with this anyway.

Other consequences is that some timelines create anomalies and which to she must fix to keep her world stable. Eventually, Blank!Sariel, an Out-Code who is technically not a au Sariel, gets created as an anomaly but unlike the others, Sariel chooses to keep Blank as Blank helps Sariel with her job.

She also plagued with the screaming voices of her past selves as a punishment for her misdeeds

Sariel VS Ulyssa:

Sariel also meets Ulyssa (Sylphs OC) who manages to glitch into Sariel's timelines, after multiple eliminations, Sariel becomes guilty of her actions and starts to try to ally with Ulyssa because Sariel detected another conscience trapped inside her and Sariel knows what it's like to be controlled but Sariel does snap when her ego is attacked and ressurects Trinity resulting in Ulyssa going into Hate incarnation form and actually having a chance against Sariel and even damaging her, eventually Sariel, in her narcissist childish rage, tears apart the timeline, when she realizes what she's done she just sends Ulyssa back to her orginal timeline and apologizing for her misdeeds and doesn't expect for Ulyssa to forgive her

Canon events:

Throughout it's Canon, UT Sariel acts as a chaotic neutral character but she does desire to be a hero, she shows anti-hero traits and behaviors but she is far from evil and does hold standards. She is unpredictable in personality as she seems to waver from good belovovent entity, chaos bringer, self-asorbed narcissist, anxiety ridden, insane, emotionless 12 year old and heroic Lionheart.

The AU Sariels She usually allies with are Blank, ReaperTale/Hourglass, Outertale/Comet, Personashift Sariel, underfell Sariel/Flare (which is also a misleading name since Flare is the most belovovent AU Sariel), and orginally but not anymore, Underswap/Muffin (which is a very misleading name concidering she is the most evil and twisted of the AU Sariels),

In the canon end of Sariel's world, She eventually is forced betray all of them because they refuse to fight along side her to get rid of Caralosa, a powerful being with the sole purpose to keep Sariel from growing to powerful but also causing her strife along the way, she resorts to killing all the au Sariels to destroy Caralosa.

Though this came at a great cost, it destroyed all the timelines and only left UT Sariel stranded in time and space until Blank!Sariel pulls Sariel out of her trapped stasis, Blank forgives Sariel for her actions and drops her off in a timeline where now Sariel functions as an outcode and doesn't have as much power as she used to have but still has Necromancy and Chaos magic, but she is still weakened and can't jump timelines as easily.

She spends most of her time in the anti-void or watching her family from afar, It might be possible she actually now in the same timeline as Ulyssa though this isn't confirmed.