#probably regional it’s not like everyone does it just me and some friends who’s families do it

[gavfleetout]

We say “white rabbit, white rabbit” and it’s a contest for who can say it first at the start of each month, so you gotta say it/text it to people at 12:01/00:01 if you really want it to count and beat the others.

okay wait im curious

[bil-daddy]

Heard that we could spill the tea abt our love life, so here’s mine:

There’s this girl who I sit next to in maths, and she used to have a crush on me, like she was ABSOLUTELY WHIPPED. Everyone around us was teasing her for having a crush and I was still oblivious.

So it turns out I’m lesbian and have a crush on her too! But she’s been out of school for a while, and when she comes back, she says she’s straight. Rumours are that she was sent to conversion therapy. So I confess to her one day, and she tells me that I’m being “sinful” and all that stuff. So she tells everyone and now I’ve been outed. Her friends constantly harass me about it and she goes along. I don’t think we’re friends anymore, but I still really like her. so yeah

Hi, anon. Sorry that this is happening. To you, and to your crush.

Conversion therapy is abusive and traumatic, and even if she wasn't actually sent there and that was just a rumour, it sounds like her family isn't accepting of her sexuality and is forcing her to deny it. You confessing your feelings to her made her feelings for you more difficult to deny, and so now she's taking it out on you.

It's not right, it's not fair, and it's not your job to tolerate it just because you like her and she likes you. This isn't a healthy situation for either of you, and whatever she's going through--and it seems like she's going through a lot--it doesn't give her an excuse to out you or to start a harassment campaign against you with her friends.

It has to stop.

Now, I'm not going to suggest you tell the bullies to stop or to just ignore them. That never works. Some kind of action will have to be taken to get them to stop.

You know your school and the region you live in better than I do. Would going to the school administration help end the bullying without getting your friend in any more trouble with her parents? Or will going to the adults just make it worse?

Do you have a friend group of your own that can stand up to the harassers? They might back off if it's not all of them against one of you, but rather all of them versus you and all your friends.

How big is the school? Is it big enough to just avoid your crush and her friends? Are they seeking you out deliberately? Or does it just occur when they happen to see you around?

If you have access to your phone, try to get a recording of what they are doing. They might stop just to avoid being the next homophobic karens going viral. Not to mention future employers and universities probably don't want the bad publicity of hiring or admitting people like that. Plus, you'll want to have the evidence in case you do need to go to the school authorities.

At this point, though, I'd advise against trying to talk to your crush directly, online or in person, and avoid being alone with her.

There's nothing you can do to help her right now. As long as she's living with her parents, she will have to deny her sexuality. It's sad, cruel even, but it's the reality. For her own safety, she will have to hide who she is until she can get out.

And for your own safety, you will have to stay away from her.

Years from now, she might reach out to you and apologize for everything that happened. And then you can decide if you want to forgive her, be friends again, maybe even more. But right now, you can't be with her. I'm sorry.

Your crush won't instantly go away. It'll take some time to get over. But focus on getting the harassment to stop, so you can then focus on living your life without this hanging over your head. It won't be easy, but I know you can do it.

Take this ox rib (platonic) for strength. Good luck, kid (human)

And if anyone who's gone through something similar wants to chime in with their own advice and experience, please do (platonic)

[kysoncat]

ES Journeys Main Cast: Axel the Shiny Eevee

Hey guys, I'm back again to talk about another ES Journeys character. You're probably questioning what am I talking about as I went through all 9 of them but there was one more I didn't do yet because I wanted to get the original 9 done with first. Anyway, this post is about the Shiny Pokemon himself, Axel the Shiny Eevee. If you didn't see the last few posts then here are the posts for Speed, Crystal, Flare, Sunshine, Pearl, Leaf, Lazuli, Black, and Silvia.

If you don't know what ES Journeys is, go to this post.

(Note: Not everything is fully fleshed out. These are just the main ideas I have and am currently trying to flesh out)

Axel Axel is an interesting character for a couple reasons though it isn't because of writing reasons. He's a Shiny Eevee, Pearl's cousin, shipped with Sunshine, lives with the group after the Vacation Arc and... yeah... that's all he's got.

Axel is alright to me though there are some issues I have with him which I want to try to fix in ES Journeys.

Personality So Axel is both the same and different in terms of personality for this AU. When Axel debuted in the comic he was pretty happy and social with others even though he was bullied a lot. I personally had an issue with this because if I was bullied relentlessly for how I looked in school I wouldn't be so happy like how he was in the comic. Basically what I'm saying here is that Axel isn't gonna be as happy as he was in the comic which I'll further explain going down.

Axel in ES Journeys during his debut is a lot more quiet and nonsocial. He's often alone and likes to stay away from other Pokemon outside his family. Axel's reason for staying away from others is because he assumes the worst that everyone will bully him since he was bullied a lot in school and as a result from that, he doesn't trust anyone aside from his family and doesn't try with making any friends. Even after meeting Sunshine, when it comes to other Pokemon he was still nonsocial around others and doesn't try making friends though this changes in Alola.

When Sunshine became Axel's first ever friend, he would always be happy and playful around her as he really enjoys her company and valued their friendship. When Sunshine and Axel were in school in Alola and he saw her having fun with other Pokemon, he would often get jealous and sometimes be a bit possessive of her but only because he didn't want to lose the only friend he had. He does get over this behavior thanks to Sunshine and his fellow classmates.

Despite Axel's mistrust and loneliness, Axel has a good heart so he cares about others and is willing to go through great lengths for others, especially to those he considers his friends whether it's helping them out or trying to protect them from other bullies.

When it comes to battling, while Axel isn't old enough to participate in it he's excited about it and is pretty good at it as shown in places like school. As the son of Bolt who was a former competitive battler, Axel is a hug fan of the sport and wants to become one when he grows up.

Axel only sees Sunshine as a friend and she sees him as a friend as well. Not everything has to be a romantic relationship.

Moves, Ability, and Battle Style Axel is much stronger than his comic self as he actually gets to fight while also watching competitive battles both in person and on TV and training with both his school friends and the Eeveelution Squad. His battle style is pretty basic.

Axel has a range of various moves. His movelist and when they're learned: -Tackle (SM) -Quick Attack (SM) -Double Kick (SM) -Sand Attack (SM) -Iron Tail (SM) -Shadow Ball (SM) -Veevee Volley (SM) -Breakneck Blitz (SM; Z-Move)

Axel's ability is Adaptability. This ability increases the power of his moves that are the same type as his which is Normal-Type.

Axel's Backstory Axel hatched on March 18, 2010 and he was raised by her mom, Rin and his dad, Bolt. He lives in Goldenrod City of the Johto region.

During his early childhood, Axel would be visited by Pearl and her family often. Pearl would often be the one watching over him whenever his parents were out and the two would grow close with each other.

In April of 2013, Axel attends school for the first time. While in school, Axel would get picked on for his shiny appearance often and it really hurts him. Axel would tell his parents and Pearl about this and while they try telling to school to get the bullying to stop, nothing changed. His family would have to comfort Axel every time he comes back home upset while he becomes less happy and social. He would have to endure the bullying for the rest of the year.

In 2014, Axel meets Sunshine along with the rest of the Eeveelution Squad who just arrived in Goldenrod City. Sunshine tried to talking to Axel but he ignored and avoided her. Eventually she manages to get him to talk and soon the two become friends.

Axel's Journey In Gold and Silver, Axel makes his debut when the Eeveelution Squad arrive in Goldenrod City. When he first met Sunshine and the rest of the Eeveelution Squad excluding Pearl, he avoided them and didn't want to talk. During their stay in the city, Axel does eventually talk to Sunshine after she tried speaking to him several times before. He opens up about his problems with being bullied because of his appearance and assumes she along with the rest of the group would make fun of him but to his surprise, Sunshine thought he looked cool. Eventually Sunshine becomes Axel's first friend and the two would play together often whenever the team returns to Goldenrod City during their Johto journey.

From Ruby and Sapphire to Black & White, Axel shows up with the rest of his family to watch the Eeveelution Squad compete in the regional conferences.

In Sun & Moon, Axel officially joins the main cast and attends school with Sunshine in Alola. During the beginning of their time in school, Axel mostly hung around Sunshine and didn't want to interact with anyone else. When Sunshine started to hangout with the rest of their classmates, Axel gets a bit possessive of her but soon stops this behavior after talking with Pearl. Axel's time in Alola helped him become open with others and make friends while also getting stronger by training with some of his classmates and some members of the Eeveelution Squad.

In Sword & Shield, Axel and Sunshine were left behind in Kanto to attend school in Vermilion City. During their time there, Axel befriends Pokemon that are mentioned in the after story of the comic. Axel gets bullied again in school as it's not as welcoming as Alola's but instead of letting himself be knocked down, he picks himself up and inspires others to do the same like Marcel.

In Master Journeys, Axel with Sunshine are either attending school or going on an adventure with the Eeveelution Squad. During their time in school, Axel becomes friends with Goh (The guy who's with Ash in Pokemon Journeys). He helps Goh learn to be more social with others as he saw himself with him.

And that's all I have to say about about Axel the Shiny Eevee in ES Journeys. With him done I finally finished talking about all the main cast members of my ES AU for real this time. There's some minor stuff I didn't mention but maybe I'll make a post about random facts about him. What do you guys think of it?

Now that I finished with all the main characters for real this time, I might make a character post other ES characters that are side characters or rivals like Trace, Gai, or any of the parents. Who are you interested in seeing a post about? Let me know in the comments. Until then, bye everyone!

[alj4890]

If you get this, answer with three random facts about yourself and send it to the last seven blogs in your notifs! Anon or not, doesn’t matter!

Oof, I got five of these requests now 😂 Does that mean fifteen facts? I'll try to do three for each ask. I'm nowhere near interesting enough for this 🤣 Thanks @jerzwriter @angelasscribbles @twinkleallnight @peonierose @aussiegurl1234 for the asks 🥰

1. I have never left the United States. There were multiple times where I'd planned a trip or planned on spending a semester of school out of the country, but something major would happen to keep me stuck here 🤣 I don't think I'll ever get out of here😂

2. I'm an only child who grew up outside of Memphis, TN on fifty acres of land. My only neighbors were family members. My cousins are fourteen, eleven, and nine years older than me, so it was up to my imagination to entertain myself 😂

3. I married an only child. My husband and I decided to have at least two children after his father became seriously ill with his heart and we saw how hard it was on my husband in having to make all the decisions concerning life support. That's how I ended up being the mother of two.

4. I've never had to study. If I read something once, I'm able to remember just about all of it. Not really a photographic memory but close to it. I'm the same with hearing something. I can usually walk out of a movie theater, quoting lines from certain scenes.

5. I never wanted a big wedding (even though I have a huge extended family) because I hate being the center of attention. I dreamed of eloping somewhere beautiful, on a spur of the moment decision. I kinda got my dream. My husband gave in to eloping in the Smoky Mountains during a very snowy January, but he wanted it planned with a tux and wedding dress and just our parents. I gave in and was happy I did after finding the perfect dress and in seeing how much it meant to our parents

6. When I was twenty-nine, I had to have a complete hysterectomy. Benign tumors had taken over my ovaries and were embedded in my uterus. The ones in my uterus had grown and stretched it to the point where it was the size it would have been if I was three months pregnant. Since I wasn't pregnant, it was some of the worst physical pain I've ever experienced with it pressing into various nerves in my back and pelvic region. I've never been more excited to have surgery than that day.

7. I'm not really a crier. I can watch sad movies, lose loved ones, be depressed, but the tears rarely fall. People have been shocked and thought I either didn't really love them or that I have no heart. Trust me, I do, I just don't really cry. The few times I have broken down and actually had tears, my loved ones and friends have panicked not knowing what to do since I'm supposed to be the stoic one of the bunch. It ends up being like that scene in Sense and Sensibility when Emma Thompson breaks down 🤣 Everyone freezes or tries to leave the room 😂

8. I love to laugh and joke around. I have both a silly and extremely sarcastic sense of humor. I use humor in everything and as often as I can. I'm the one you sit by during serious situations if you want to diffuse the tension with a giggle. I've even made people laugh at funerals during my eulogies (all respectful and usually just a funny, sweet anecdote about my loved one). Life is too precious to not find all the little bits of joy we can.

9. I did everything that my late aunt predicted I would in life. She said I would get a teaching degree, which I did. She said I would meet my husband before I graduated college, which I did. She then said I would teach a few years before having my first child, which I did. She then said I would probably get my masters degree between my first and second child, which I swore I was done with college when I graduated but I did do that very thing and got my M.A.Ed. focusing on library sciences between having my two. And to make it all the sweeter, I ended up being like her with having two sons who were exactly the same years and months apart in age as hers were. She was beyond thrilled that I was just like her in that aspect 😂

10. I always thought I would have girls (most of my family has nothing but girls or at least one) Me and my late aunt were the only two to have nothing but boys. It worked out great for me. I've never been into fashion, not really into anything really girly, can't fix hair at all 🤣, and always loved all the superheroes, video games, and Star Wars stuff that makes me the perfect mom for my two boys.

11. I love classic movies. The silent era, the thirties (especially Pre-Code) and the forties are my favorites. I'm amazed with the special effects, the stunning sets, stories, and amazing acting the stars of the Golden Age of Hollywood created. I will devour not only their films, but biographies on anyone working during that time, documentaries, and any tidbit I can find. I was born during the wrong era.

12. I truly believe I could survive happily on nothing but cheese dip, chips, and salsa. And peppers! Jalapeno and Pepperoncini are my favorites. Ghost pepper is becoming a favorite too. Last night, I made a bowl of peppers and ate them like popcorn while watching TV. I love to burn 🤣

13. Winter is my favorite season. Snow is beautiful and I wish I lived somewhere where it was guaranteed to fall for months on end. That's the dream. One day, I hope to move either to Wyoming or to Maine (I've visited both and fell in love with both of them) 😂

14. The hardest thing I've ever experienced in my life was when I suffered a miscarriage. It was my first pregnancy and it was one that wasn't planned. My husband and I had only been married for about six or seven months when I discovered I was pregnant. I was over the moon excited. I bought maternity clothes, started buying baby things like little outfits, bows, toys, etc. Then I started cramping near the end of the third month. Tests were done and it showed the baby stopped developing at eight weeks. No heartbeat. Nothing. I was devastated. I actually prayed I would die during the D and C. I hoped I would have an allergic reaction and die right there on the operating table. I thought it would be easier for my family to lose me that way. I felt like my body had betrayed me in the worst possible way. I hated it and I couldn't stand the depression that set in. This was one of the few times I cried, especially when I woke up after the procedure and saw I'd survived. I continued to pray for death for a few months after it. I knew I couldn't hurt my family by commiting suicide, nor could I talk to them about my feelings, so I begged God to make my heart stop, make my car run off the road and hit a tree, anything to stop the pain I felt. I then begged my husband for a divorce. I didn't want to be around anyone. I didn't want comfort, couldn't stand for anyone to touch me or hug me. I hated our home and the memories it now held for me. I wanted to simply disappear and feel nothing. I didn't want to talk to anyone, respond to what was going on around me, pretend that life was still going on. It was the darkest time in my life. I've written about the one night I broke down the hardest with my husband in a Thomas Hunt fic which was almost cathartic. Everything he and my OC say is the conversation my husband and I had that long and painful night. It still hurts after all these years later, though nowhere near that it once did, and every May I can't help but think I should be celebrating my first child's birthday.

15. That above fact shouldn't be one to end on, so let's end with something funny. With my oldest son, I had an ultrasound to find out if he was a boy or girl on April 1st. Our technician was known to joke around, so I was highly doubtful I was having a boy. I was convinced she was pulling an April Fool's prank on me 🤣 Until he popped out and the proof was in front of me, I thought he might end up really being a girl so I made sure to have a gender neutral outfit packed just in case it really was a joke 😂

[chaos-and-recover]

I dunno if I am venting, asking aita, or asking advice or am I overreacting but you're probably the only person I follow who is old (I am 17 and most people I follow are around that age) so here goes. so I have this cousin who my whole family hates and has spent my whole life saying horrible things about. This cousin literally moved across the country (we are in the USA) and everyone says that she moved away because she was tired of our family calling her out on her abusive behavior. (Cont)

Okay, wow. This is a doozy. I'm gonna answer all the messages in this series probably in chunks (but in this one post) 'cause there's a lot to say here and I think it makes sense so I can interject thoughts as I go and address all the various things going on here. First off, based on this first message, I'm kind of on your cousin's side. I'd probably also move across the country if my entire family talked shit about me all the time.

I grew up hearing how she's awful, a bitch, unhygienic, house is a hoarding disaster of filth, etc, like she's not a good person. Anyway despite living so far away she's managed to come to important events like weddings and funerals. Now I notice that any time someone calls her out, like asks how smelly her house is, if she's keeping it clean, or if her friend(s?) still put up with her, she has a really nasty insult ready and it's been like that my whole life so I believe it. (Cont)

Okay so, obviously I don't know her so she might be all of those things, but does your family have examples of her shitty behaviour beyond being unhygienic and possibly a hoarder? Because those things, to me, don't match up with "she's a bitch" and "she's awful," but being a bitch might be an understandable reaction to people giving you crap about the way you live. And hoarding in particular is very often a symptom of a larger mental health issue. Asking if her friends "still put up with her" is rude as fuck too, like so far your family kind of sound like bullies.

Anyway so last year a relative got married and my cousin showed up. My cousin is in her late 30s idk exactly. So my aunt (also her aunt) points out that maybe if she hadn't been a bitch and took better care of herself she would be married. She said she was happy in her relationship life but we all immediately pointed out she wasn't in a relationship so she should stop lying. (Cont)

As someone at the tail end of their 30s who is unmarried this is a WILDLY inappropriate thing to say. There are a million reasons why someone might not be married in their 30s, not least of which is "they don't want to be." I also think it's either a generational or a cultural thing that people just don't get married in their 20s as much anymore -- generational because my parents were 20 and 24 got married but both of my siblings were in their early 30s, two of my best friends didn't get married until they were 34 and 35, respectively, and for a variety of reasons I have a ton of other friends in their 30s who are not married at all. Some people just don't get married! Some people don't get married until it makes financial sense (either actually paying for the wedding or something more practical like joint tax filing. It actually doesn't always make sense to file as a couple). But I also wonder if that's just a cultural thing because it certainly seems that getting married in your 20s is still something a lot of people do in some regions of the US and in some other cultures, so I don't know. But I do think it's no one else's fucking business why someone else isn't married (for me it's because I straight up cannot be bothered dating and do not want to alter my life and my routine to make room for another person lmao so that makes getting married a bit of a challenge). Also even if she was not in a relationship (later messages make it clear that's apparently not the case) you CAN be perfectly happy being single. Like, I am absolutely happy with my non-existent dating life and relationship status. So accusing her of lying about being happy because you think she's single is bonkers, frankly. Being in a relationship doesn't automatically make you happy, and you don't need a romantic relationship in order to be happy.

She said we clearly knew nothing about her, that she isn't messy, is happy with how she looks, and we need to stop lying about her hygiene and other things. Now I personally have never thought she smelled bad but I only see her at big events so ofc she wouldn't. Anyway the wedding had alcohol so we all got really drunk (including me, but including her also so she can't judge) and things got heated between her and my mom (Cont)

So okay. I want you to think about this. Your family says she's smelly and unhygienic but you've never observed that yourself, so why do you believe them? Maybe she does only clean up for family events, but if that's the only time you see her, do you know that's true? Do you have any reason, beyond what your family has said, to actually think she does have hygiene issues? This might also be a mental health issue, fyi. There are a ton of reasons someone might not be "clean." There are also a lot of physical conditions that might cause someone to smell "bad." And it is, frankly, not anybody's business.

As for the drinking, yeah getting sloppy drunk isn't a good look but it also happens at weddings. I'm neutral on that point, tbh.

(my mom cheated on my dad and my cousin told everybody and that's how my dad found out I'm not kid but that's a long story) anyway so she got kicked out of the wedding and took an uber to the hotel. The next day I went to the hotel and we were both hungover so maybe not in the best mood. when I talked to her she told me that our family was abusive and toxic and I pointed out it's unrealistic that everyone in the whole family except her is abusive (cont) so maybe she needs to logically look at herself and realize it's more believable that only she is lying instead of everyone except her. And she just said I should research family scapegoats. I told her that it was her fault my parents divorced and my dad doesn't pay child support and she told me to leave. Well I felt kinda bad and so a few days later when she was back home I messaged her about what she'd like for a wedding because that's what ppl talk about after a wedding. (Cont)

She's right about the family scapegoat. It's not uncommon for abusive people to target one person and not another. Like, a parent may be abusive toward one kid, but not another, and they may turn others against that one kid, cause resentment, and ruin one kid's life while their sibling(s) may think they have a great childhood. It sucks! But it's absolutely a real abuse tactic. In your family's case I think it's pretty likely everyone didn't get together and decide to be shitheads to your cousin, but it started SOMEWHERE, it sounds like SOMEONE turned everyone against her.

I will say she shouldn't have told everyone your mom had an affair, but it's straight up not her fault your parents divorced. Your parents divorced because your mom cheated. It sucks! I'm sorry you had to go through that. She should keep her mouth shut about things that aren't her business (if she knew and no one else did, telling your dad might have been acceptable depending on the circumstances/relationship, but not spreading gossip to everyone else. That's not cool).

She said a bunch of stuff and then mentioned that her wedding would be a dry wedding. I pointed out that she was being hypocritical and a bridezilla because nobody wants to go to a dry wedding AND I know she drinks PLUS she got wasted like everybody else at our most recent wedding. And she said that since it was allowed then it's not hypocritical but that as I wasn't old enough to drink then it wouldn't matter anyway. (Cont)

Getting sloppy drunk at one wedding and then having a dry wedding yourself isn't really hypocritical. There are a lot of reasons someone might have a dry wedding, from money (open bars are expensive and cash bars are kinda tacky imo) to someone involved with/at the wedding in recovery for alcohol addiction to just not wanting people to get sloppy. I do think a dry wedding is probably gonna reduce the number of people who want to go but that might also be the goal.

Now granted I did lose my temper and tell her that it wasn't like she ever had to worry about getting married anyway because nobody loved her and since it hadn't happened for her yet then she should accept it wouldn't ever. I will admit that I reacted badly to that. She then told me to go and then blocked me. Well I have two accounts (one I made before I was 13 but I said i was 21 so I could have a fb and she followed me on both)well lo and behold six months ago she announces shes engaged (cont)

Yeah that wasn't cool, honestly. But also if I had a younger cousin who said something like that I'd probably be like "yeah ok kid sure" so like she could've probably reacted better.

I message her asking for an invite and she reminds me that it's a dry wedding and I said that's ok. She says she's not sure she wants me to come based on my behavior but she'll think about it. Well I notice that nowhere on any of her social media does she talk about her fiance or boyfriend at all, except to say who she is marrying and it's her best friend, who lives where she moved. I message him (we don't follow each other) cont I'm like how long have you been dating and why haven't you said anything on social media. He says they've been together for years but they're both private people. I don't know anything about him beyond that they've been friends (dating?) for like almost 15 or more years or smth. She only ever talked about him like a friend. Which I thought was weird. But I keep that to myself. Well because she always made it to all weddings and funerals I say yes I'd like to go. (Cont)

This might also be a bit of a generational disconnect. She's roughly my age and while our generation definitely had some early forms of social media by high school, we didn't grow up on it the same way younger generations did and the concept of sharing EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME is still a little foreign to us. Either that or we did the oversharing every aspect of our lives in our teens/early 20s and are now pulling back from that. It seems like every day more and more people I know are leaving FB and other social media platforms. Years ago when I was seeing someone he went to change his relationship status to 'in a relationship' with me after like 2 dates and I had to be like "whoa hold on there bro." I hadn't even mentioned to my family that I was seeing someone (because TWO DATES). Some people just don't put all their business on social media.

So I get an invite and so i invite the whole family. We show up but she has no room for us and said she only sent out a few invites but since I got invited I told everyone where the wedding was. Her fiance was there and kinda stepped in but it never got heated or anything but he showed us cheap hotels because they just didn't have room for everyone and they weren't expecting that many people. But when I was in the house I noticed it looked clean and smelled normal. (Cont)

Okay you're young so I'll chalk this up to not knowing what goes in to planning a wedding but DON'T DO THIS. Weddings are expensive and they are also planned down to the very last detail, INCLUDING having EXACT numbers for catering. You're basically buying dinner for all your guests, and it can be expensive. If you're having a buffet-style or more casual wedding you might have extra food but in a lot of cases the caterers are preparing the meals for the people who have RSVP'd and there won't be a ton of extra food just in case. You can't just add a bunch of extra people at the last minute because there won't be enough food, and in this case, not enough space. Most wedding invites have you choose your meal when you RSVP so they make sure they have enough of each option for everyone. If your invite says +1 you can bring a guest, otherwise you don't. You DO NOT invite a bunch of random people, especially family who don't even like this person and weren't invited for a reason (why would they even want to go if they all hate her so much?)

Also, you were in her house and it was clean and didn't smell, consider why you still believe your family who say she's unhygienic.

My family is clearly angry but they're not psycho so they keep it to themselves when he drives us there. So her and fiance ask to talk with me alone at a diner and give me a talk about how I wasn't supposed to invite everyone which offended me because they're family but I have never met him so I don't want to be rude. They both say they've managed to work it out and had extra food so it was okay this time but that in case other people get married or future events I should be aware that this behavior isn't acceptable. Which yes got my hackles raised but i'm trying to be nice. Well anyway at some point she had to leave for a hair appointment and needs to go but I am not done eating so she takes an Uber and he eats until I'm done eating before taking me back to the hotel. I take the alone time to bring up like hey do you know the woman you're about to marry is abusive and toxic and that he deserves better than someone he has to remind to shower and clean up after and someone who is kind and I just blurt out that she's a hypocrite who got sloppy drunk and I'm like I don't know how often she's lied to you about what kind of person she is and that he should know how toxic she is and to his credit he listened but then he asks why do you think her family wasn't invited, because they're abusive, and then asks what my goal was in talking shit about his future wife to him as soon as she's out of earshot and asks if I talk this way about everybody who isn't in the room with me. And I point out it's more logical that she is the abusive liar, not literally everyone else except her. And then he says she's always been loving and kind, cleans a normal amount, and as far as he's been around her taken care of her hygiene and that even when he visited the home she grew up in it was clean and that he will not listen to me talk about her like that anymore. When I get back to the hotel I tell my family everything and they came uncorked and kept calling her and texting her and so they rescinded all our invitations. We all pointed out that we spent a lot of money to get there and she said that wasn't her problem and then blocked all of us. I tried to show up to the wedding but was told to either leave on my own or be escorted by the police so I left. I didn't know this but my family showed up after me and stuff went down but i dont know what because nobody will tell me. Anyway so after the wedding I tried to contact her through multiple means but i was blocked on all of them as we all were. She did post a few videos publicly for everyone to see, so I had a mutual friend who wasn't blocked but didn't attend the wedding show me the videos and the wedding was very cheap and small. But that is what she told me she wanted last year. I tried talking to her siblings but her siblings also blocked me. I tried talking to some relatives of her now husband but they didn't respond to me, and i may have lost my temper and said cruel things so they all blocked me without responding. I made a few accounts and emails contacting them again asking for evidence of her claims but nobody ever responded but I was able to send emails. (Cont)

Yeah I'm on the cousin and her fiance's side still. He sounds like a decent guy standing up for his future wife. And if he has in fact known her for 15 years, he DOES know what kind of person she is. I think it's clear you meant well in warning him about what you've heard about her your whole life, but I think you should consider that your family aren't always the good guys in every situation. Even people you love can be wrong and cruel. I think if you can go through the trouble of making additional accounts to ask her siblings for evidence of her claims (you should stop, btw. They blocked you because they don't want to discuss it, leave them be) you should also maybe ask the family you do speak to for actual evidence of her being an awful person and being filthy and smelly (which, again... nobody's business, and not a reason to be nasty to someone???).

I think, based on what I've read here, it comes down to this: your family does not like this cousin and they make no secret of it. Why on earth would she tell them anything, invite them to major events like her wedding, or be anything other than nasty to them in return???

[quilveor]

It's 4 AM, I had to do half of it twice because MS Paint betrayed me and I didn't notice, but I am SO incredibly proud of this.

Quick, my aarakocra cleric struck by wanderlust, often writes in notebooks and does small sketches. He's not an artist, but he likes it. So I figured, the best way to have his short story would be in a diary form.

There's a lot of character lore included, but I'll keep it brief [I want to sleep.]. Quyeekrraouhsh/Quick is very friendly albeit haven't seen his family in a while. Gwynddu, an albino black dragonborn warlock under Tiamat, is his boyfriend. Duke is a hedonistic kobold rogue, Kenku is a wizard/bard who sings by illusions, and Korek is an insane kobold bard. Jalan'lham is a lizardfolk ranger obsessed with fishes and not a part of the team. Skweerk is not a character, I made her up JUST for this.

It's getting bright.

This was an insane thing to do, making everything just so manual, even though you can clearly tell it was just a computer font [Ink Free, with a guest visit by Segoe Script]

And for people who can't view images, the entire transcript: [Every time [Kenku] appears, it's a drawing of a kenku [crow] head.]

Dear diary I am in such a good mood! I haven't been writing in a while but -t- there was just no time! We just left this big city, [very big] [Baldur's Gate -> [map of region]] heading northways, but omigosh it's SO COOL. There's SO MANY PEOPLE. I didn't meet any Baldur though… There was one dog named that though! [though though though] Very cute doggo. [Doggy.] [Doggerino.] I got to pet it!

Also I think Gwynddu is happier we left. He seemed so tired lately, ,some peace will do him well. He's been tossing and turning last few days, but he says it's "fine". [Sure.] He always has so much to think about. Can you BELIEVE I saw him in the [Pictures of Bahamut and Tiamat] temple of Bahamut?!‽ He went there few days ago to meditate in silence and, to be fair, it was pretty quiet there, but it's still so surprising! [on hush hush he was like 'me and the priest made a pact of non-aggression' and that's just the cutest thing ever] Anyway! So! SO! Today, right, I wake up, Gwynddu wakes up, Duke wakes up, Korek and [Kenku] too, we leave the tavern saying good byes, everyone in GREAT mood honestly except Gwynddu but that's normal for the grump <3 [he's so cute i swear] [the owner wanted us to stay because apparently they really liked [Kenku] singing but we gotta keep moving!!] ANYWAY so we leave, go to the gates [of Baldur Gate [haha]] and there was another aarakocra! Can you imagine that! I haven't seen one in so long! Apparently there's a city in Chult, but it's a bit of a travel there. I already already wrote to check it out later in a different notebook but I [picture of T-Rex] ABSOLUTELY have to go there. Skweerk was really lovely though, it was so nice chatting with her. -> [picture of Skweerk] She was in the city to get some -unusa- unusual materials that usually don't go to Chult! I guess it's harder if you live on an island. I think it's an island. [How big is Chult, anyway.] [I know it has like, [at least] [two cities.]] And a jungle! And those bizarre creatures called dir dinosaurs! -> [towards the T-Rex picture] And temples and tigers and AAAAAA i want to go there so badly! [just on description from Skweerk] [friend] We do need to first go to Daggerford. It's a bit -aft- before Water-deep, and so it's gonna be a few days at least, but we got a letter saying a friend's gonna be staying there and we DEFINITELY -gonna be- have to be there. Jalan'lham!!! Maybe FINALLY he will teach me fishing! He promised!! i wanna catch a fish he does it so -easy- easily [it's probably not actually that easy!] So I think the plan is, Daggerford -> Waterdeep -> [maybe?] Chult so that is probably it for today! [oh but shhhhh i see [Kenku] and Duke sneaking out. Both are far more nocturnal so I bet they're gonna just stay up until very late again. I don't think they know I know but I heard Duke getting some singing lessons from [Kenku] once when I woke up in the middle of night.] [But,] yeah! Gwynddu's getting ready to sleep, I should join him soon. [And where's Korek oh he's already out [okay]] imma go join them then. Until next time! Quyeekrraouhsh

[smithysmith77]

Things I wish someone had told me about having a baby

*solely based on my own experience and not with the expectation that everyone's experience will be the same!*

Induction can take days

Induction can give you false contractions that really hurt

Epidural gave me uncontrollable shivering and pins and needles on my entire lower body but I'm glad I got it as it helped me stay calm and in a positive mood

If you get an epidural they will put in a bladder catheter and afterwards you can't feel your bladder and have to try really really hard to pee, because the urge to go isn't there. Very weird

Your butt region can hurt more than your vaginal region after giving birth/tearing

Bring soap/body wash. You will be covered in so many fluids after birth and I forgot to pack soap. Had to settle for a really good rinse.

Your milk won't be in right away and babies usually drink colostrum instead. HOWEVER sometimes colostrum isn't enough and if your baby is crying at the breast, turning bright red all over and hasn't peed, they are probably dehydrated and they need some formula! (Forever grateful to the nurse that told me this and fed him because I had no idea what was wrong)

Babies have the instinct to breastfeed but not necessarily the technique. My son was really bad at it for a while. We kept trying and it got better, but sometimes it doesn't and it is OK to do formula or pumping if it makes things easier for you!

People downplay the "baby blues" because they don't want to scare you but like. Wow. I wish I had done more to make things easier for myself beforehand, like clean the house, meal prep, etc. You don't believe it but you really won't have the time/ability for a while. Set up visits with your support people as soon as you can. I really needed them.

Everyone says, "It gets better! You got this! You're a great mom!" Which are true! BUT I feel like no one gave me actual concrete coping methods for when you're living minute by minute IN the anguish. So I'll share what helped me:

- the thoughts/mantras "I don't *have* to do this, I *get* to do this. This experience is a privilege. "

-And, "You can do hard things. Just do the next hard thing. "

Freaking podcasts. Ugh. Saved my sanity to hear sane, rational, interesting, funny adults talking in my ear when I was caught in the monotony and chaos of the newborn phase. You won't have two hands to read a book or even look at your phone a lot of the time. TV is fine for some but I found I liked something portable that kept my eyes free to watch my baby.

Walking with baby. There will be times when they will just cry, it's normal, safe and mundane. But it can be extremely triggering if you're not used to dealing with it. I used to get so panicked when I ran out of things to do to keep my son happy. That feeling of not knowing what to do was worse than the crying. After a couple months I learned to just start walking when we got to that point. Babies love it and it usually helped relive gas etc and put him to sleep eventually.

If you can, GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. So many times it calmed my son down just to have a change of scenery, and helped me from going stir crazy and/or breaking down.

It affects your relationship, if you're in one. I couldn't sleep in the same bed as my husband for two months and when we did interact it was often rushed or interrupted. Try as hard as you can to carve out a few moments of meaningful connection time. Go on dates, even just for an hour, if you have someone who can babysit.

You will need help. Some moms just want someone to hold the baby for a bit so they can make a meal, meditate, whatever. Some moms want to hold their babies while someone else does the dishes or makes them a meal. I know not everyone has close friends and family but people do tend to come out of the woodwork when you have a baby and I encourage you, unless you think the person is unsafe to be around, take their offers of help. You have to put on your own life vest first, you know? A mom that's at her wits end is better than no mom but a mom that's feeling healthy is even better. Let people help you, if you can.

Good luck ♡

[kokorowoutsu]

-- RP: @night-gladion-and-their-ghosts

night-gladion-and-their-ghosts:

Gladion looked up at Lunala. Lillie brushed Sol's fur smiling as the lion licked her face. Lunala nodded her head and folded her wings over herself again. Shadow leaned on the desk smiling at them all. "I'll never understand Pokemon; I don't think Abe will either." Gladion glanced back and looked at Willow. "She's a Chosen? This young?" Night only mentioned being around 13-14 when Giratina finally came forward. Diamond probably would have some strong words for the Pokemon who took up Willow. "It's nothing, trust me. Being in Zoom meetings and stuff like that I have to remind myself I can't use those words so...opening, unlike Shadow does." He chuckled and snickered at Shadow who only glared.

There was a giggle from Willow as she gave Solgaleo a face hug. "Warm... like the sun... !!" She then turns her attention to Lunala, opening her arms then. It took a moment but Ashe's Garchomp approached, lifting Willow up by the back of her shirt up to Lunala to hold. Landing, the Garchomp approached Ashe, circling around her, her tail wrapped in such a way that was around her feet while she observed everyone.

"The pokemon that chose her owed me a debt. I saved him. It... didn't occur to me she'd be chosen but the bond happened and so far no negative side effects, but she's got more energy then the average person. More stamina. On top of that, electricity sparks on her when she's running at full speed." Ashe quietly speaks up. "A... lot of stuff happened." She looks over at Leon who offers a comforting look and her Garchomp lays her head on Ashe's shoulder, a soft trill coming from the dragon-type.

Lucky can only frown, licking his paw uncomfortably.

"I've been through time twice now. Never want to experience it again if I can help it." Ashe admits, but her gaze catches sight of Willow giggling loudly with Lunala. "Both times gave me something; a bad time and the second love of my life." Her gaze softens then before looking to Gladion. "I've noticed she has trouble adjusting to technology and large cities. So... I think this may be the last regional visit for her until she's ready to go out into the world. There's no problem for any of the family to visit her at home... just... want to make her comfortable. After all, she was born in an untamed wilderness." Ashe admits.

Leon steps up then. "It was filled with ice and snow. We were lucky to make friends with a few inhabitants as well as the local pokemon. We wouldn't have made it otherwise." He admits with a sigh. "Got taught how to use a sword. Ashe uses a grimoire -- real magic. Thing is, we never learned the region's name, but there were some pokemon we had never seen before there."

[nameless-brand]

📑 ((For Erna :3))

Ernastrel ( Erna ) :: witchofthescions

A self-proclaimed adventurer of a universe extremely differently from mine. She is part of a group known as the Scions, which appears to be defenders of her world but mostly in a region called Ul'dah?? Further delving into her blog will have to take place when there is less work to deal with. Having Chi around has significantly impaired my focus for work, but that's neither here or there.

Background Information:

Ul'dah appears to be a world where magic is the rule rather than the exception. A series of posts where it seems Erna is talking to herself is the anecdote for that; I suspect she is replying to either Levant or Lillian given there is a conversation going on, but I cannot see the other posts. However, it seems that magic does appears to be innate to people, except for a certain people (Garleans), but it actually requires teaching. (I'm a little jealous.)

Technology level is difficult to ascertain, but it's enough to interface with Tunglr. She mentions Magitech at one point, which likely is the means of how she reaches the website - different from an artifact-like item such as Mirielle's Torn Notebook. From the sound of it, there are large regions of non-civilization, nothing like suburbia, between large population centers, which have a tendency to be more technologically advanced than the surrounding area.

Should inquire more about transportation in her world - teleportation, motorized vehicles (steam, oil, etc), horse-drawn carriages.

Her origins appear to be from a place called the Farreach. Given the name, it is likely that she is considered a foreigner to the area she currently lives in. It is a tactic of many civilizations to treat themselves as one side and everyone else as the other to give a sense of belonging, though the circumstances that have done that likely no longer exist as Erna seems relatively accepted in Ul'dah and perhaps even famous.

Description:

She is a farmer or at least comes from a rural area. That tang in one's voice, even in writing, is difficult to fake. This information is confirmed by Levant when I casually asked about all her friends. It may be a little stereotypical of me to think of this, but you do not get that sort of sturdy reliable appearance by just being a mage...probably. She likely has some sort of martial ability too, because she said she needed to be taught magic - and one doesn't travel from a place called the "Farreach" without some means to defend oneself. These are a lot of assumptions though.

Her writing style is very fast paced and very casual. There's a lot of utterances such as Ha and Hm in her writing, so she likely speaks the way she writes. There's a bluntness that's refreshing, though typically with that sort of bluntness, there's the expectation that people should reply genuinely in kind. Fair play and all.

In terms of money, the fact she is aware of her own weekly grocery bill probably puts her ahead of a lot of city dwellers and second-generation rich. The mention of going out and gathering extra produce on her own suggests a strong ability to forage - especially since she doesn't do it if "she's not in the mood." I suspect she's fairly well off through either her adventuring or her association with these Scions. She's probably more of a savings type of person rather than an investing type of person though.

There's a bit of recklessness in her. It may be related to being a very strong person in her world, despite everyone having some degree of magic ability. Likely part of the woman's headstrongness, most likely.

Miscellaneous:

She's good with kids, which could be related to having a big family. Hard to tell if she's an elder or a younger child. Given her independence, I'd put my money on the elder child or even the eldest child.

She's also friends with Chi and Lev despite not having met them in person. Lev makes sense since they have similar personalities - women who prefer action but can go into intelligent mode when necessary. Chi is a bit more difficult thing to pinpoint, mostly because references to Lillian's relationships do make her a bit uncomfortable - and I'd rather not distress her. The memories do seem to become hers though - and she responds more to gentle probes. Could just be related to how Erna gets along with kids.

She mentions gods in the plural.

Considerations:

Adventuring, I'd imagine, is a dangerous profession. Given that the dangers Erna face are so bad that a group is dedicated to fighting them, there is unfortunately a high probability that Erna could be killed or put out of commission permanently in the future.

Though I doubt these Scions will leave her to flounder - a group such as theirs is likely close-knit- the future can't be predicted. Not to mention that if she is permanently put out of commission, the Scions probably won't be doing much better either. Farming is likely out in that case as an alternate profession.

Investment in real estate is likely the best thing to start with depending on how much liquid assets - gil - she has. The fact she can consider 300,000 gil for a bar of soap as simply excessive but not unattainable is suggestive that she has a significant amount from adventuring. Assuming a few hundred gil could be considered up to 500 gil and 52 weeks a year, she had close to 12 years worth of food. Gil seems like a common term for gold - hard currency - so it's likely the money is tied to the value of whatever it is on, thus more resistant to inflation (assumption, need to ask). Dollar equivalent is likely around 60 thousand dollars, so that bar of soap does seem more than excessive - or I am miscalculating.

Given the significantly lower population densities, land is likely cheap - but only the land in the cities is safe given the wild-dominant world. I doubt an apartment / rentals will catch on this world. Maybe an inn or bar of some sort. Erna likely does have some degree of clout with the government for a smooth transition, though how much I don't know.

Investment in precious goods - probably the most valuable things would likely require a high amount of ability given danger - Erna seems like she could probably get them. But the point here is to disconnect her income from the need to adventure.

Investment in technology or perhaps in education - she knows several engineers and schools. Transportation and weapon technology would be beneficial in a world that is more dominated than wilderness than anything else.

Crop and food preservation research is another thing, particularly the latter. Do they use salt primarily or ice magic? In a world that could potentially use ice magic for refrigeration, will techniques such as brining or fermentation have developed? It's difficult to say, and chances are they probably do - not everyone learns to use magic - but it is a question to ask.

Even outside of a bleak future, equipment and magical reagents are likely expensive. Putting the money to work through investments would generate some passive income that would offset the costs. If the Scions pay for the upkeep, that is more money in Erna's pocket just in case something bad happens.

Should ask if she obliquely is capable of doing things like a craft if she is ever grievously harmed. This may help with ideas for money gaining. Erna unfortunately does not seem like the type who will sit idle, even if out of commission.

Negotiation Considerations:

The most advantageous setting here will be high formal with all the etiquette that is required - from silverware, to the kind of food, to the rules of what should be worn. Chances are it will make Erna feel awkward and out of water, and that is the point.

She is likely good at negotiation as a function of being an adventurer and acquiring compensation for tasks - to underestimate her based on her more casual speaking style would be to my detriment. Her ability to gather information is unlikely to be any poorer either, because information is likely connected to her being able to preserve her life. The best thing to assume is that she is better than I am at negotiating.

She'll likely utilize a more stubborn style of negotiating. She will give a price and stick with it, citing personal reasons why the price can't get lowered. If she is the one who wants to change the price, she'll likely badger forcibly for her target price.

She seems like the type to lull into a mistake if she's angry. But the cause has to be very specific. An anger that disrespects her will likely cause her to drag in her heels - negotiations will end at that point unless the cost involves lives. Directing her anger towards a specific target, an injustice, would be helpful - she seems like the type of person to settle for a lower price if the task is aligned with her morals.

Emotional arguments would appeal to her better than logical ones. You don't go after region-sized disasters by listening to logic.

[misireads]

Myrrys ("Sage") by Anniina Mikama

[ physical book, read in finnish ]

a charles dickens-esque story with a sprinkle of magic set in the kainuu region of finland in the famine years of early 1800s, niilo is an orphaned boy living in poor conditions as a slave in a wealthy-ish farmer family. his life is shit, especially thanks to the cruel master of the house, but he cannot complain since the family bothered to take him as a small child when his mother died.

one day, a local sage takes niilo as his apprentice as the payment for curing the family's son's leg that's mauled by a bear. niilo is scared of the sage at first because of his reputation as a witch doctor doing black magic in the middle of the woods, but the man turns out to be a fine lad and the first person ever who treats niilo as an equal human being. they live together for almost a year, going through all sorts of experiences and little adventures together, and become close friends.

➕ so this is a book for younger teenagers, it was in the children&teens area at the library, so it has a juvenile vibe that softens the harsh themes a lot. it's a mid-length book, almost 400 pages, and somehow felt simultaneously very long, like the story felt very big for a book of this length, but was fast to read because there's a lot happening all the time also due to the YA nature probably. there are several episodic chapters where niilo and martin go hunting, niilo helps a man out of a frozen lake, etc.

➕ martin the sage is a very sympathetic character, i liked him a lot. niilo has less personality but he's meant to be the young hero character coming from poor conditions and thriving when someone actually likes him and gives him the chance, i find that very dickens-like. there aren't exactly any flaws about him, he's perfect at just about anything he does in the entire book, his "flaw" is that the farmer family doesn't like him. the real MVPs of the story are the pastor who helps niilo to reconnect with his family and the farmer family's son who has the truest character development arc.

➕ the finnish mythology elements

➕ beautifully written, this author's commitment to descriptions of nature and especially the woods is no joke

➖ i don't really like stuff set in historical finland, like the aesthetics of this sort of old-timey living conditions shit are off-putting. i don't even care about museums with this theme or anything.

➖ i was expecting this to have more fantasy elements… the first spread before the real book begins opens with a spell in the archaic finnish style so i really thought that was supposed to set the tone, but it was just kind of a minor element in here after all. i mean it's important, niilo saves the day with his forest magic several times, but overall… just not as much mythology stuff as i expected. honestly my expectations got in the way once again because i was hoping this would be like teen lit about finnish mythology set in modern times so when i realised very early on it's not, it kinda flattened my mood and the start was very slow for me because i was like ehh… meehhhhh…. a farm house in northern(ish) finland in the 1820s….. bleh.... do i have to read this.....

➖ juhani the master of the farm house is such a comically evil character. but i feel like that too is a dickens-esque character archetype? there's the mean, wealthy man who turns out to be fradulent on multiple fronts and it comes down to the young hero to prove it to everyone. still, i just kind of wanted someone to grab an ax and toss it at his head like, five pages in

⭐ score: 4 -- i teared up reading the final page and am not even sure why, maybe some line struck a chord or it was just the story coming to an end. but i never cry at anything so that has to be the sign of a great book

[darklingichor]

How To Be Champion, by Sarah Millican

Well, I did it again, I have too many books and not enough year left, so time to post and extra entry!

I recently discovered Sarah Millican's stand ups and I love them! In one of them, she mentioned her book and I knew I had to read it.

It's fantastic! Other than Jenny Lawson, I don't think I've related so much to someone's writing.

How To Be Champion is part autobiography, part essay collection, and part advice column. In this book "Champion " is slang for good, okay, content, happy.

Ms. Millican is from the North in England and like every geographical region, has its own slang.

Me being raised in the PNW in the 90's the closest equivalent would probably be "How To Be Chill". But I like Champion better, doesn't have the demand of calmness.

Anyway, Ms. Millican goes through her childhood with supportive parents and people at school largely being twatwaffles and this was my experience too.

Something I absolutely loved and I think should be on posters in schools across the globe is when she said not to worry if you don't have a romantic relationship when you're in school, you're there to learn.

I had that viewpoint when I was in school, why do I need to worry about dating when I'm having enough trouble with algebra? I couldn't care less if I had a date on Friday, someone help me understand why someone put the alphabet into math!

She discovers in school that she can write well.

She details her life working hard at several jobs, and getting married young and then getting divorced, before getting into stand up.

Some of the chapters I liked best were ones where she went into how she found wonderful friends who supported her though developing her act as a comic, and the ones where she let's it rip on beauty standards, and life expectations of women.

Ms. Millican has commited the sin of being a woman above a size 2, who doesn't have aspirations of becoming a size 2 and (rightly) thinks that how she looks has nothing to do with her worth as a person or a comic. She has a career, a new loving husband, and pets but doesn't want kids. How dare she make a call like that regarding her own life?

Honestly, I find her inspiring. As a woman who is also bigger and is okay with it most days, it's nice to hear about this from someone who isn't just "love your body" but also "Why the fuck does it matter??"

She wrote about the time she was nominated for a BAFTA and found a dress, and prepared for a fun night out with her husband. This happened, but afterwards she was insulted on the internet and in the press proclaiming that the dress that she wore was awful and she was fat and ugly.

This is just so crappy. And unnecessary, why attack someone like that?

She wrote publicly about how this affected her and how she would just wear that dress again the next year. She happened to have been working the next year, but wore that dress to her show. Hell yeah!

By the way, I was curious about the dress, there's a pic in the book showing part of it, but I wanted to see it full length so: Google. My first thought was: "I want that dress!" It's so pretty!

And Ms. Millican looked damn good in it, but the important thing was that she said she felt good in it, and it's unfair that some people try to take that away from others.

When it comes to kids, it was also cool to read about someone who is open about not wanting kids, and also open about how annoying it is when everyone tells you that you will change your mind, as if other people know what you feel better than you do.

It isn't just the parts that I related to that made this book great, it's also fucking hilarious

From interactions with her family to vacations and outings with her husband to her recipe for cake, this book made me laugh out loud so many times. I adored it!

[davidhatter]

Bitter Melon Farm || Hatfish

baenxietydad​:

`

He had every intention of making the explanation quick, just in case this was a very brief lull in a busy day, even practiced in his head the most brief, least windy ways to describe each of the foods. He figured the plan of attack should be one container, so two to three items, at a time.

“Right, I’ll start with my favorite,” Marlin said, gesturing as he spoke. “Mussammari, or pickled radish paper wraps. I make mine with shrimp, crab, pea sprouts, bell peppers, and cucumber, since most fairies are vegetarian-adjacent but fairies from Korea do eat seafood. The little green guys tying them shut are garlic chives.”

“And speaking of my best friends, garlic chives,” he said, pointing to the next item. “This is called buchu kimchi, which is a regional dish from my home city, Daegu, that’s in southeast Kor– anyway. Garlic chive kimchi is less– I usually don’t make traditional fermented cabbage kimchi to send with my son to the dorms. It does have a strong smell, and I don’t want him to be embarrassed, so you just use the regular kimchi spices with garlic chives instead.”

And that really truly was his attempt at being quick, he promised.

--

This is something he would have probably never understood had he not taken the path of life he did. As a kid he hadn’t paid too much attention to food. It was just something to shovel down before he could get out the door to go do whatever he deemed worthy of his time. He never quite noticed how important dinner had been in his house hold, sitting around the table with everyone sharing a meal and listening to what they wanted to say. Not until he was the one making it or until, one by one, his family had left until he was the only one sitting down at the table.

Now he knew better, that food was so much more than just something to eat. It meant a lot of things to every differing person. Here, it meant a touchstone to someone’s culture. It was a connection to all the people who had come before Mr. Bae, passing these foods down to the next generation. And just because Mr. Bae and his son were no longer where those foods had originated didn’t mean he wasn’t going to continue passing it down.

"Excuse me,” he said when it seemed like Mr. Bae had hit a pause and went back around the counter to get two plates and sets of cutlery. Then, having to back track again, some napkins. He returned to the table, putting one set in front of Mr. Bae as he didn’t even think the man wasn’t supposed to sit down to join him for the food he had brought. “How’d you make the paper?”

[staysuki]

hey, hey, golden boy! | lee felix fic

pairing: childhood friend!reader x popular boy!lee felix | friends to lovers (alternatively: basketball club manager!reader x basketball player!lee felix)— a little bit of reader x juyeon (the boyz) as well genre: fluff, angst, high school au, mutual pining(?) word count: 11.0k (whew!) warnings: nothing much, some small mentions of physical violence. (also me not knowing how basketball works but accidentally incorporating too much of it in the story) synopsis: deep down you knew that things won't always be the same as it was when you were kids. as you grew up, felix became more and more popular compared to you, who remained invisible in the crowd. although you took this as a sign of drifting apart and denying your feelings for your childhood bestfriend, felix did not.

networks: @ficscafe

a/n: this gif makes me weak (edit: accidentally put "juyeon from ateez" in the title bc im big dumb who got confused)

"felix! over here!"

"you're the best, lee felix!"

cheers erupted from the gymnasium thanks to the current basketball game ongoing. though you had zero interest in the world of sports, you were not one to flake from supporting your bestfriend just because of it.

despite the fact that felix was just asked last minute to fill in a spot for an injured player, there was no doubt that he suddenly became the star of the show, with the air being filled by the sound of his name. you'd think that the actual basketball team would be jealous except they weren't, because felix was also leading them to victory.

he was the resident golden boy after all.

perfect looks, perfect grades, perfect personality.

he had it all.

you, on the other hand, did not.

"dude, felix absolutely knocked it out of the park. he should've just been in the basketball team from the start!" your friend said, recounting the details of last week's game.

thanks to felix, the school's team was able to make it to regionals and you couldn't be more proud.

"hmm, yeah, probably." you agreed mindlessly, not wanting to say something like 'he always liked soccer more.'

you see, you've been bestfriends with lee felix since you were both in diapers, and it's safe to say that you both knew the ins and outs of each other.

your families were so close that they all even decided to transfer to a different city together so that you'd all still be neighbors. so, in junior year, you and felix found yourselves transferring to a new school together. but unfortunately, it also coincided during a time of teen angst and budding social constructs brought upon who does puberty best, making junior year also the phase where felix skyrocketed to high school fame, leaving you behind in the shadows.

so when you were both offered a chance to start afresh due to the move, you begged if you could both pretend to not know each other, it ended up blowing into a huge argument, one you've both never had before but it definitely got you what you wanted.

"we've been bestfriends for so long, why do you suddenly want to act like strangers?"

"because!! just let me have this, felix, please."

"i just don't get it, y/n..."

"can't you just leave me alone? stop asking about it, you know we won't be kids who'll be stuck to the hip forever!"

"fine. have what you want, y/n."

you felt bad about how you two ended. how senior year started in your new school and you both avoided each other in the hallways, two bestfriends acting like they've never known each other at all.

but you couldn't tell him it's because you felt inferior to his sudden glow up. he grew taller than you, lost baby fat, developed a deep voice that brings chills to anyone's spine, and everyone started noticing him. he's always been a ball of sunshine who loved joining extracurriculars so having him noticed with a spotlight was inevitable— it helped a lot that he was cute too.

his rise to popularity was more so a question of when and not if. unlike you, he was everything put into one. a symbol of perfection. especially when he decided to dye his hair blonde— matched with his sunkissed freckles, he looked like the epitome of a happy summer day.

he wasn't just amazing at the things he chooses to do, he's also sickeningly sweet and nice. even when you two ended up not talking to each other for a week after your argument, he was still the first to climb the window to your room and apologize with a bunch of snacks.

he apologized, when you were the one at fault.

how much perfect can he be?

because of that, you realized that you at least owed him an explanation.

"what?! y/n, that's not true! you're smart and kind and pretty—"

"ok ok stop!" you waved him away, trying to hide the creeping blush on your face, accidentally pushing him off your bed. felix is a sweet talker, and you know that that's just how he talks to everyone in general. the compliments meant nothing since he could turn around and say the same things to somebody else right now.

"—ah y/n!!!"

"sorry!!" you tried to help him up but since you couldn't stop laughing at his demise, he ended up overpowering you and pulling you down with him.

"ugh i hate you!"

"what? you don't get to say that, you pushed me off first!" he just put you in a chokehold as you laid on top of him, despite pulling you on the floor with him, he still made sure to cushion your fall, bursting into fits of laughter together.

"look, y/n, you're my bestfriend and i don't want to lose you so i'll do what you want. but if you ever need anything, i'm always here. so please, let's stop fighting already."

"mm, okay." you just answered, snuggling to him on the floor as you felt his soothing breathing on your hair.

that was almost 5 months ago and although you two were still close at home (and sometimes in public when you felt brave risking it), you never approached him at school.

this made felix sad, of course, but he wanted to keep his word, and soon enough, he got used to it.

"you called for me, mr. kim?"

"ah yes! y/ln y/n! just in time, have a seat." you tried to hide your dubious face as you sat down in front of the club advisor's desk, eyeing him carefully.

"umm... is there something wrong?" you fiddled with the ends of your sleeves anxiously, the act of being called to teachers' offices always sending a shudder down your spine even when you were confident that you did nothing wrong.

"oh! no no! not at all. sorry for scaring you, ms. y/n but the basketball club actually needs a favor."

"oh... i don't think i'd be much help with that, sports isn't my umm.."

"ah, worry not ms. y/n, we're not asking for you to shoot some hoops in court. the male's basketball team actually needs a manager."

"a manager?"

"yeah, basically you watch over them and stuff. i don't know if you've heard but dahyun, the original manager, had been suspended from club activities because her grades were falling down. and now that the guys are set for regionals, they need a manager now more than ever."

"i'm not sure sir..."

"please y/n. it's only until dahyun gets her grades back up, you're our best option right now. you're in perfect academic standing and you don't drool over these sweaty teenage boys, gah! you won't believe how many applications we received of girls just wanting to get closer to mr. lee felix— he's not even actually in the basketball club!"

you wanted to laugh but also felt bad for mr. kim, so you couldn't stop yourself from caving in. "alright—"

"yes!! you're a lifesaver y/n! don't worry, i'll make sure to give you some compensation in terms of extra credits. i'll make sure that this isn't a waste of your time."

"that would be great sir, thank you."

"no, thank YOU."

although it felt nice having the promise of extra credits and helping, you soon felt queasy as you left mr. kim's office. he told you that dahyun would show you the ropes so you could efficiently fill her spot but dahyun was a former basketball varsity whilst you couldn't tell the difference between a tennis racket and a badminton racket.

you didn't know the first thing about managing a basketball club so with the remaining one hour left before club activities started, you did what you do best: study. you binged on guides to playing basketball and the terminologies, how the rules work, etc.

but cramming wasn't really your style, so you ended up jamming too much information than your brain could handle, making it all mixed up in your head.

"y/n, right?" dahyun immediately greeted with a smile when you entered the school's gymnasium.

"yeah, sorry, i don't know what i'm supposed to be doing."

"pshh, it's fine! as long as you're not one of those girls who climbs up the gymnasium windows to catch a peek at the guys then you're already great!"

"mm, yeah no, definitely not." you cringed, not realizing people were taking it to the extreme. you knew that good looking guys were always popular but you didn't know that they were that popular.

dahyun handed you her files and made you a checklist of what to do (which you rewrote because of how messy it looked), she showed you the way to the court and where the balls are kept. she told you which member liked what flavor of sports drink and which ones needed more pampering than the rest.

"spoiled boys." she rolled her eyes as she recounted having to baby one of their forwards, haechan.

she also told you most of what she does— watch them practice and take note of their playstyle: who scores the most, who plays their position well, etc.

it was a lot to take in but you were somewhat able to keep up. this was a favor which you weren't obligated to do but with your hardworking persona, you wanted to make sure you deliver a good performance. not that dahyun would be submitting a performance review afterwards.

"but most importantly, if they're being annoying, just smack them across the head." she smiled mischievously, and just as your crash course had ended, the club members finally started filing in.

you were just starting to be more comfortable around dahyun but now that you're gonna be doing the real thing, your nervousness came back to its all time peak. especially since your mentor was going to leave you alone.

"ok dumbos, listen up. as you may know, i will be taking a break from being manager—"

"because your grades are ass, we all know." someone piped and dahyun just glared at him, making the guy shut up which they all laughed at.

"—ANYWAYS, shutting up an idiot named wong lucas aside, someone else is going to be filling in for me. everyone, meet y/n, y/n, meet the stress inducers of my life."

you meekly greeted but they all introduced themselves politely. amidst the situation, you weren't able to notice how felix brightened up at the back of the group, happy to finally have a reason to be close to you in school.

"i'm chan, i'm the team captain, i'm currently just co-coaching right now since i'm busy with college applications and will be retiring as captain soon—but if you need any help, let me know!"

"i'm lucas, i'm the center, both in court and the looks department." he winked and you just awkwardly smiled, not knowing how to return the energy. dahyun made a barfing sound beside you whilst chan smacked the taller one on the head.

"i'm haechan, not to be confused with chan, i'm the small forward!"

"soobin, fellow small forward!"

"lee minho. point guard. co-captain."

"i'm juyeon, shooting guard."

"hi! i'm felix, i'm not an actual member but i'm standing in for xiaojun as the power forward until he's back from the hospital."

you nodded along everyone's words, keeping track of their names but it was helpful that dahyun already gave you a list beforehand, all that's left was to put faces to the names.

"umm, i'm y/n. i don't know anything about basketball, i was just forced to do this but i'll try to be as helpful as i can." you bowed, and they all suddenly burst out laughing, making you look up at them with wide eyes.

"she's so formal!" lucas cracked.

"d-did i say something wrong." you whispered the question as you turned to dahyun and she just shook her head with a laugh, patting you on the back.

"no no, you're honest, we like that— be good to her, idiots, i'll be off now." she gave them a small salute before cheering you on as she exited the gym.

now that the bubbly energy of dahyun was gone, you were left standing awkwardly in front of everybody, the dead silence being cut short by chan's clap.

"alright everyone, let's not make y/n's life any harder. it's time to practice for regionals!" he said and gave you a thumbs up. you immediately pulled out your notepad as you took a seat on the bench, waiting on their play. the six guys broke off into rival teams of three, including chan even though he said he wasn't much of a player anymore.

in the meantime, soobin took a seat beside you, offering you a kind smile.

"are you not playing..?" you asked curiously and he shook his head with a laugh.

"no, i'm a sub." he answers and you just nod, still not knowing what that means though it seems like he still caught your unsure face. "it means i'm not that good enough to be the first one in, i fill over haechan whenever he gets tired—which happens a lot but i don't normally get switched in until the last half of the game."

"that's not true, you're on the team, that means you're good enough to be in it, right?" you didn't really get the whole economy of it all but soobin just nodded beside you. you felt kinda sad thinking about how the boy just sits down and watch his teammates do their best knowing that he wants to be a part of it too.

"i guess that's one way to think of it."

you started to relax in soobin's presence as time went on, he helped you take notes and teach you more about the mechanics of the game. he also helped you distribute refreshments and take care of haechan and his god awful stamina because you felt awkward fanning the boy and wiping his forehead as he laid on the cold wooden floor.

"sorry y/n, this boy doesn't know how to conserve his energy at all." chan said, trying to kick haechan off the floor, making the boy roll over with a whine. "if you keep going like that then you're going to get used to doing it even in regionals."

"but that's why soobin's here ughh—" you didn't know whether you should feel bad or laugh at haechan but you found his antics kind of cute. though you bet he's probably in pain right now so you crouched beside him and patted his back.

"why don't you rest for now and let soobin fill in?" you offered, glancing at him and soobin with a shy smile.

"really~? you'll let me do that? dahyun never lets me rest until the third quarter!"

"well i'm not dahyun so.."

"thanks y/n! you're my favorite manager!" he immediately pretends to doze off, snoring on the floor and minho had to drag him by the feet away from the court, haechan protesting but couldn't break free from the stronger man's grip.

you signaled the start of the last session with a firm whistle, giving them an encouraging smile as they headed back in court to practice. you felt a small swell of pride in your chest, knowing that you did great for now.

"that was really nice of you, y/n." felix piped from beside you as you both mopped the gymnasium floors together.

"hmm? what do you mean?"

"letting haechan rest and letting soobin play."

you shrugged at his words, "i don't know, i just thought it made sense."

he nodded at your words, looking at you with a certain adoration that you couldn't quite understand, "yeah, but dahyun pushes haechan to the max to train his stamina, though the team could tell that it hasn't been working great for him. it also makes soobin feel like he's less of an asset to the team so i'm sure he's happy that he got to play for longer."

you just listened to him, taking in his feedback so that you'd be able to better your manager skills. you really hadn't been paying much attention to the game earlier, moreso just relying on soobin's commentary on what scores to put on whose names. when haechan switched with him, you were too shy to ask the resting boy so you moreso just winged it with the information that soobin had left you.

although you made a lot of mistakes on the sheet, chan just excused your faults, finding all the question marks written on the paper to be quite funny.

"you should've just asked me~! i was right beside you the whole time! you were so quiet i thought you didn't wanna be distracted so i didn't talk to you." haechan said when you all ended today's practice.

all in all, everyone seemed nice and welcoming. aside from minho who seemed to have had a naturally cold exterior. everyone was also very skilled at playing, watching them with a newfound wonder as you imagined what it feels like to have such a talent in sports.

for the next practice, you promised yourself to be more assertive and accommodating, so you spent all night reaserching and chatting with dahyun to know the personal ins and outs of the members.

although you felt bad for distracting dahyun with her studies, the girl was more than happy to catch a break.

so that night, you found yourself slaving away in the kitchen as you listened to basketball lessons on youtube.

you made a refreshing pitcher of lemon water for everyone as well as a sandwich basket. you know felix loves brownies so you added a few baked goods to the mix. but mostly you tried to keep it in the healthy track, cutting up a bunch of fruits and arranging them neatly into a container for everyone to snack on.

although you can't offer grounded wisdom about the gameplay like dahyun, you wanted to make them feel supported and taken care of. the least you could do was make sure they're eating well and not burning away their strength from strenuous practice since you could tell that this is a big deal for everyone.

especially juyeon, who you heard was aiming for a basketball scholarship.

it made you see felix in a more different light as well, seeing how he was talented enough to be pulled in last minute and play amongst aspiring athletes who've spent most of their lives playing basketball. meanwhile, felix had always been more of a taekwondo and soccer nut, though he had the natural skill for sports, being good at basketball was honestly something he didn't expect from himself.

you guess it was simply how some people are: favored by the gods.

when you had came over for the next training period, everyone seemed more than happy with your brigade of food and refreshments.

"i wish dahyun fails chemistry again so we can have y/n as a manager for good!" haechan quipped which earned him another smack from the club captain.

"y/n if i gain a few extra pounds i'm going to blame you for it." lucas snided jokingly but quite obviously is the one fishing for most of the food.

"thank you for this y/n! we really appreciate all your hard work." felix commented with a bright smile as he munched on the brownies. it was his favorite, especially when you were the one who made it. although he has had in countless times in his life before, it never fails to make him happy.

"hey! how come felix is the only one with brownies??" soobin mentioned.

"oh? does ms. manager have favoritism?" juyeon laughed as he eyed you suspiciously but you just shook your head vigorously.

"you guys can have some of it too!" you quickly saved but felix was too fast for any of them.

"nope! all mine! i love y/n's brownies, you guys didn't take some earlier so now it's too late." he stuck his tongue out as his other members chased him across the gymnasium, with lucas just settling on throwing his shoe towards the freckled blonde— and in true basketball player fashion, he was a good shot, hitting felix square on the back of his head.

"alright, children, that's enough!" chan bellowed but in amusement as he watched his teammates, getting the attention of his rowdy members. he looked like a fond father watching over his chaotic kids.

the day continued with them hunkering down to practice seriously. watching them is thoroughly enjoyable. seeing the way they interact and goof around off-court, like they're all close friends just playing a game together. but once they step inside the court, they all change into a different person— all serious and motivated with a drive to win. even the goofiest ones like haechan and lucas quiet down when it's time to ball.

haechan and soobin also seem a lot happier and relaxed now that you've split the time evenly between them: haechan gets to rest then soobin gets to play more.

it's been a couple weeks since you've become the basketball club's manager and you've already started to become closer to the boys.

most of all felix. he was so excited that you guys finally had a chance to "naturally" develop a close friendship in school so gone are the days that you two act like strangers. because now, if people asks, you guys could just say that you grew close during club times. he was so so happy, and it showed.

especially with the way that he insists on walking home together now, almost all the time. at first you were a bit apprehensive but he managed to convince you with his puppy dog eyes and adorable pout.

"pleaaaaseee, y/n? we could just say that we found out that we live in the same area so it's more convenient for us both!" he whined so you couldn't exactly say no.

aside from the basketball team who seemed to be conspiring behind your backs on shipping the two of you together because they found the sudden closeness a bit suspicious, there were also a number of students that noticed the growth: namely, felix's "fanclub."

"what's your relationship with lee felix?" one of the cronies asked.

"ummm, we met on the basketball club while i'm temporary manager."

"are you guys dating?"

"no?"

"well, do you like him?"

"i don't." you said with confidence. you've said the same answer ever since you were young and felix has had lots of girls having crushes on him. meanwhile, you didn't want any conflict so you made sure to get out of their way as much as possible. although every time the answer comes out of your mouth, slowly you start to feel like it's becoming more and more false.

the days pass and your previous invisible position in social circles started to break, people started noticing you more and more as you hung out around the basketball team. they spared glances your way, glaring at you, some envious, some curious, but all were thinking how such a random nobody got the close adoration of the most popular boys in school.

"y/n~~~ you're making food again right?" haechan said as you met on the hallway.

"only if you guys do well later."

"i'll last the whole four quarters!!"

"haechan that's not what i—"

"see you ms. manager!"

you rolled your eyes fondly at the boy's antics. although you weren't as technical as dahyun and weren't able to give them sports insight (so you leave it to the actual coach to do so), you've never had any moments of low morale. soobin has improved a lot and haechan were now able to last longer without having minho drag his limp body off the court.

overall, their close bond worked wonders in their team play and communication. even felix who was the "outsider" of the group was able to move in sync with the other members.

you were proud whenever you watched them. they were such beasts in the court and it made you wonder how they'd possibly be able to lose.

well. maybe you shouldn't speak too soon.

felix: i have extra curric work today, can't go home with you :((( you: it's fine, i can wait if you want?? felix: no no! this is probably gonna take long, i wouldn't want you to wait for me :( you: alright, get home safe later. felix: i should be the one saying that >:((( you: pfft kk. talk to you later. felix: <3

you put your phone on your pocket as you decided to head on first, but meeting a familiar face by the gate.

"y/n?"

"juyeon?"

"no felix today?" he gave you a knowing smile as he wiggled his eyebrows and you just rolled your eyes at him.

"he said he was busy today."

"ah yeah, that guy's got a lot going on in his plate. kinda amazing how he still had the time to spare to help us out but i'm glad that he did. i don't think we would've gotten this far without him."

you widened your eyes at him, "what? no way! you guys are great, i mean, i haven't seen you guys play without felix but i'm sure you would've achieved it all the same. getting to regionals, that is."

"wait wait wait, you haven't seen us play without felix?"

you shook your head no.

"did you just watch our game for the first time because felix was there?"

you opened your mouth to say no but you couldn't bring yourself to lie nor think of a good excuse.

"w-well um uhh— no? my friend just uhhh.... forced me to go? coincidentally?"

he gave you a knowing look, bumping your shoulder with his. "a felix fangirl huh? maybe i should tell the others that hmmm?"

"hey! not true!" you smacked his arm as you both laughed, not even noticing that you were following his walk.

"well you seemed very close now and you watched our game because of him soooo...?"

"ugh fine, can you keep a secret?"

"of course y/n, i definitely won't tell the whole team that you're whipped for our resident golden boy." he totally would've but you just rolled your eyes again.

"it's not that, juyeon. we're actually bestfriends. we've known each other since we were kids."

"wait really? you guys don't act like it."

"yeah.. that's kinda on me. i told him i wanted to act like strangers."

"ok weirdo."

"please— it's hard being in his shadow all the time, back in junior year there would be girls coming for my back and also use me as a message deliverer."

"pfft, i take it that's such a drag?"

"very. i was used to it but since we get to have a new start i thought, why not have a change of pace, you know?"

"valid valid. so you don't like felix?"

you shook your head, or at least, you think you don't. "i mean, we've just been friends for so long." that part you know is true. you've been friends for so long that the feeling could easily be a misplaced feeling of familial love. maybe you're just comfortable around felix, not because he makes your heart beat but because you've never been apart.

a comfortable silence fell on the air, you didn't even realize that you two had started walking until it had become quiet. you immediately turned to face juyeon, getting ready to say goodbye. "oh, i should probably head home now."

"well, ms. manager, since your prince is still currently stuck in the castle, why don't i give you a ride for today?"

"please, he's not my prince. do you drive?"

"well then, i'll be your prince for today. i have a sick horse." he winks at you with a playful smirk as he points towards a motorcycle at the school's parking space. "you scared, y/n?"

you shook your head, taking the helmet that he had handed you as he assisted you on hopping onto his motorcycle. he tied his sports jacket over your waist to provide you a bit of modesty that would be gone with your uniform's skirt flying all over the wind. you mutter a quick thanks with his chivalry.

"just hold on tight if you start feeling nervous, it's alright."

"i probably won't but okay. my house is at—" you told him your address and he nodded.

"actually, can i take you somewhere else first?"

you shot your eyebrows up at his offer. "uhhh...sure? where?"

he threw you another playful wink, "somewhere that may or may not be a date."

"what—?!" before you could even mutter any follow up questions, the engine roared to life, blasting you both through the wind. "juyeon!!!" you shouted as you instinctively held onto the back of his uniform.

"yes princess?" he laughed, amused that you decided to hold on.

"you're going too fast!!!!"

"i thought you're not scared?"

"yeah if you weren't going a hundred miles an hour!"

he just laughed but you could feel the motorcycle slowing to a proper pace, you finally braved to let go of his coat and put your hands at the back instead. "this is better."

"but i wanted to make you feel the wind, y/n."

"i can feel it plenty enough, thanks."

you both arrive at a quaint little establishment— a small coffee shop adorned with plants and fills the air with the smell of freshly brewed caffeine and old books. the interior was cozy and felt a little like a better version of home; plush couches, red brick wall, just the perfect temperature.

"this is a nice place." you uttered to juyeon.

"yup, it's a bit out of the way so not a lot of people go here. it's my secret spot."

you scoffed amusedly at him, "and let me guess, i'm the first person you've ever brought here?"

"what? no, i bring the basketball guys here all the time." he laughed at your embarrassed expression, "did you want me to be a cliché, y/n? i'll go look for another secret hangout spot and then bring you there right now."

you waved his ridiculousness away, "whatever, juyeon." but you did feel embarrassed for getting ahead of yourself. not that you could blame yourself much when he's the one who said that this may or may not be a date. which, honestly, sounds confusing.

"what's your poison?" he asked as he led you to the counter, he greeted the barista and true to his word, he seems to be a regular at this place.

"i would like—" "—wait no no no, on second thought. i wanna guess."

you looked at him dubiously but didn't protest when he led you to sit down, trusting him with ordering for you. what you didn't know, however, was that this was juyeon's way of getting you out of the cashier area so that he'd be able to pay for you without doing the wallet tango. for some reason, he feels like you'd be the kind to insist paying for yourself.

a few minutes later and he comes back, "ummm, what'd you get?"

"you'll see when it arrives."

as you waited for his order, you both conversed about different kinds of things. your life before transferring, his life around basketball, etc.

you found out that there's a lot of expectation around him to snag that ivy league athlete scholarship— because that's the only way he could get into a good college. they weren't rich nor did he think he was smart enough to get some other kind of scholarship.

"i can tutor you!" you immediately said and he just smiled.

"well, i wouldn't want to add more to your plate but if you have time to spare then i'd love that."

you gave him a thumbs up but told him to focus on regionals for now.

"you've been a great manager, you know that?"

you shook your head no. "hours before the first day meeting, i was binging on basketball-for-dummies youtube videos because i don't even know anything about it!"

"pfft, well you learn fast."

as the conversation slows down to occasional banter, the order finally arrives. the barista hands juyeon a regular cup of coffee then proceeds to hand you a cup of cocoa with whipped cream and chocolate shavings on top— along with a whole box of strawberry shortcake that says "thank you" on top.

"going all out, i see."

"the boys pitched in for this but it was supposed to be a surprise for tomorrow, the final day of official practices— but you know, i wanted to have you for myself so i'm giving it early as an excuse."

you scrunched your face at his attempt of flirting but he just kicked your leg under the table, which resulted in you kicking him back.

"hey! you can't injure your mvp! that's basketball managing 101."

"too bad i don't know how to be a good manager then."

juyeon took you home near dark, not expecting for you both to take this long outside, but it was time well-spent. you enjoyed your time with him outside that you forgot to check your phone the whole time.

[5 texts and 3 missed calls from felix]

felix: omw out, did you get home safe? felix: y/n, your mom told me you're not home yet, where are you? felix: please reply if you're safe! i'll wait for you in your room. felix: y/n please be okay ;(((( felix: haechan told me he saw you leave with juyeon.

you made a beeline towards the kitchen, putting in the cake in the fridge before going straight upstairs.

"yah, y/n! where have you been?" your mom greeted from the counter.

"i was out with a friend."

"well stop worrying that boy too much, he's been pacing around this whole time that i sent him to wait upstairs because it was distracting."

you wanted to laugh at that but felt bad about making felix worry. he probably would've been blaming himself had you been put in a dangerous situation because it's the first time that you two hadn't gone home together in a while.

"felix?" you called out softly as you entered your room, and true to your mom's words, he was indeed pacing around.

he abruptly stops when you show up and he stops on his tracks. he looked like he wanted to envelop you into a big hug but also chew you out for causing him stress.

"you worried me."

"sorry, i was out with juyeon. i wasn't checking my phone."

he sat down on your bed, just waiting for you to come in. "did you guys have fun?" he asked with a small smile that didn't reach his eyes. you couldn't read his expression but you passed it off to just him being tired.

"yeah, he took me somewhere nice." you said, joining felix on your bed but instead of sitting, you lied down beside him.

"was it a date..?" he asked hesitantly as he followed your lying position and you shrugged, looking at him in eye level now as you faced each other.

"i'm not sure. he said it may or may not be, it's confusing."

"well, did you want it to be a date?"

you averted your eyes from his intense gaze. you've never really seen felix this serious. you wondered if he was mad at you for not answering his texts and making anxious.

nonetheless, you shrugged once again. "i don't know. i'm good with either."

felix didn't know what to say. he's not stupid, he knows what jealousy is when it comes but he has never felt it before, or at least, not as strong as this one. he should've expected it— you were kind, smart, and pretty, soon enough, somebody else was going to see the amazingness that is you. he just didn't expect that you'd have eyes for someone else too.

he always gave small hints under your nose, but it seems like you always turned it away or passed it like some joke. but one thing is for certain: it's that felix wants you. he's always had.

and if it's going to take more than small hints to get you to notice, then he'll do his best. he promised himself that he'll finally tell you how he really feels and stop keeping his love for you under wraps.

but for now, regionals.

you were on the bus alongside the other boys, on your way to the rival team's school. dahyun was going to be late due to classes still ongoing for her so you were stuck taking care of the guys again. but you didn't know how to rally them up pre-game. you could tell that they were all on their nerves. you could tell that chan was trying to ease their mind but for the members like juyeon who was aiming for a scholarship and had heard that a scout would be watching— this was all or nothing.

even haechan hasn't cracked a joke in 30 minutes, which worried you a ton. being nervous meant that this is important for them, and that nervousness could translate to fighting spirit. but it could also get to their heads.

you gave haechan an encouraging pat on the back before walking to the front of the bus, facing all of them. though you weren't one for public speaking, you tried your best to calm them down. "ummm... i've seen you guys practice almost every day for a month and a half, and even when there weren't any official training hours, some of you still went to the court or train all alone. i know how hardworking everyone is and how skilled you are at playing basketball so don't be scared to kick some ass. i know you guys can do it!"

they all let out a content sigh, taking in your encouraging words as you instilled confidence in their veins. even ice-cold lee minho offered you a gratuitous smile.

"thanks for taking care of us, y/n." soobin piped up and you waved him off, telling him it's no big deal.

"no seriously, we all know you were just forced to deal with this because coach didn't trust anyone else to not just take advantage of the situation and drool all over me— i mean, everyone." lucas said, earning him a smack from minho. "yah! lee minho, you're lucky i'm sitting down, it's the only way you can reach my head."

"what did you just say?" the man in question now holding his hands in fists.

in a single second, everyone managed to turn the gloomy atmosphere into a rowdy one like always. felix shot you a thumbs up, proud of you for doing so well.

in the corner of your vision though, you see someone still in their head. wanting to laugh along but so visibly tense.

"hey, you good?" you asked juyeon, joining him in his seat.

"yeah, just.. you know, scared."

you rolled your eyes at him, "you're the best player i've ever seen, don't be so glum."

"yah, y/n, if you don't stop rolling your eyes at me i'll poke that off." you both laughed, easing his own tension.

"want me to sit here with you?"

"that would be nice, yeah."

"i always listen to music to calm my nerves, here." you offered him your other earbud.

"y/n, you have shit music taste."

"i'm throwing you off the bus."

felix isn't the only one who took notice of this, the others have also seen the way you and juyeon had grown closely.

and as the others watch the way felix stared intently at the back of your heads, face unreadable, chan tried to distract the freckled boy by cheering him on for the game. though felix offered a small smile, one could obviously tell that he wasn't feeling the greatest. especially not when he could plainly see the girl he has loved for so long slowly be enamored by someone else.

as you guys arrive at the rival school, everyone was back to their serious facades, putting their game faces on as you were all led to your own backroom in the gymnasium.

"oh? you guys got a new manager? finally got tired getting chewed off by dahyun because you're so bad at playing?" a long haired blonde greeted, wearing the other school's jersey. your eyebrows rose at his douchey comment, about to retort when chan just held you by the shoulder.

"nice to see you too, hwang. dahyun is just busy. we'll see you in court." your team captain said as he ordered for everyone to focus and just go straight inside the room, not to mind the taunts of their opponent.

"who was that?" you asked.

"hwang hyunjin. their shooting guard." juyeon answered, seething at the guy who seems to be his arch nemesis.

"he seems like a douche." you commented, making them snort.

"well yes, he is, but he's got the skills to back it up. he's also in line for a scholarship and rumor has it that only two will be able to get it from the ivy league that juyeon was shooting for." you nodded at chan's explanation.

"then if hwang hyunjin gets it then surely juyeon would be the other one!" you said which made chan nod, juyeon shrugging.

"i don't know, i mean, they could take lucas or someone else from the other team."

"hey hey hey, i'm not gonna steal your thunder man, you know i want to be a model." lucas said, raising his arms in surrender. "but i'm flattered to know that you think i'm good enough to steal your spot."

"don't let it get to your head, wong."

"too late." the taller smirked.

you all shared meaningless banter while they warmed up, with haechan jogging calmly in place as to not expend unnecessary energy so early on. while they prepped, you learned about the enemy team.

hwang hyunjin goes against juyeon. they always seemed to have a silent competition between both of them and no one has won yet.

haechan (and soobin) goes against han jisung, the wild card. compared to haechan, jisung has energy that could go on for days and he was completely unpredictable in court.

lucas goes against choi san. "i'm much more handsome." the tall one quipped.

"that's not the competition, dumbass." minho said.

apparently san was well-known to play dirty, and although he was hiding it within jokes, you could tell that lucas was a bit nervous to go against someone with an infamous reputation.

minho was going against jung wooyoung. "piece of cake, that guy's a sissy." and you wholly believe that minho can hold his own. you don't think there's anything that can go against lee minho and win— except for cats.

felix was going against jeno, "just an average dude." haechan commented.

all in all, despite the wacky mix of characters, this team progressed to regionals for a reason.

"chan, i think you should enter first before me." lucas said as they discussed team strats.

"lucas, we trust you. don't let san get to your head." soobin commented.

"haechan, at any time that you're getting out of breath, just call in, don't try to match han jisung." the team leader advised. "most importantly, nobody leave your posts."

the bell signified the start of the first quarter. everyone was cheering and shouting, the air was mixed with hyper support for their fellow schoolmates. although you were in rival territory, your school's fighting spirit didn't allow to be drowned out by the other's.

you sat down beside chan and soobin on the bench, your knees shaking up and down in anticipation as you watched the game unfold. it's barely been 10 minutes but everyone was already head to head.

chan put a gentle hand on your knees to relax you, "don't worry y/n, this is what we've all been preparing for." you nodded at him and tried to relax, though your knees had stopped, you still kept squirming on your seat every time the opponents scored a shot.

the first quarter ended with your group being 5 points ahead. it was nice to see but it wasn't enough, it would be easily overtaken.

"haechan, you still good?" you asked as the game took a breather, everyone huddling up by the benches.

"yes, han jisung's been taunting me to chase him but i won't bite, he probably thinks i'm stupid." haechan spat, glaring at his enemy's head.

"san seems to be behaving right now, maybe it's because there are scouts watching." chan observed.

"they have good teamwork, but not as personally close as you guys, hwang seems to be the only one pulling most of the work. you got this!" you cheered and they all just looked at you. "d-did i say something wrong?"

soobin shook his head, "you've learned how to observe the game well, y/n. we're also proud of you."

you blushed at his compliment swatting him away.

"any advice for us, ms. manager?" felix smiled at you sweetly, despie his labored breathing, he still seemed calm, his stare making your heart swell. it feels nice that they hold your word to a similar regard even though you don't know anything about basketball. perhaps you've learned a fair sum.

"do your best?" they all laughed.

"you were being overly ambitious with that question, golden boy." minho nudged felix who just laughed.

the second quarter started and this time, hwang's team were able to catch up and overtake the team by 15 points. a higher margin than what your team had set in the first quarter but not an impossible chase. this time, it seems like they've started to divvy up the work. this time you can see wooyoung stepping up, being able to butt heads with lee minho's strength.

jisung still kept running around, instigating a wild goose chase with haechan but he wasn't having it. he kept his eyes on the ball. but for all it's worth, han jisung was ridiculously good at slinking in between spaces and blocking the ball.

but jeno still couldn't hold a candle to felix. your bestfriend being too dexterous in game, it was highly enjoyable watching felix play. no matter what he does, there was a certain air of elegance around it, he moves like a fairy, his limbs filled with gracious motions that's akin to the way he dances. everyone couldn't help but gaze at him, even hearing the rival school's students whispering about the golden freckled boy that they've never seen before. you even hear some of them arguing who was the better blonde: hyunjin or felix. in your heart, you know exactly what the answer to that is.

the second quarter finished and your team was now down by 37. although it seemed like a wide gap, it wasn't anything they couldn't catch up to. gone were the boys filled with nerves, they were now just filled with a fighting passion, a drive to win. lucas and haechan were now switched with captain chan and soobin.

the other team seemed to deny switching places with anyone else, you marveled at how they could all last for so long but you suppose it was the same with your team as well. you always just thought that it's because they didn't have anyone to substitute for them but perhaps they're really just talented enough to hold their own.

with a few minutes of rest in between quarters spent strategizing, you made sure to accommodate their rest. giving them cold towels, water, you name it.

third quarter started and dahyun had sent you a text that she's going to be late, but she was already stressing out with the current state of the game. she wanted to offer some advice but with the way that she couldn't see what's going on, she couldn't really do so.

but with the entry of chan and soobin, things were starting to go back up to your favor. the margin started getting lower and lower until by the end of the third quarter, it was down to 11. time seemed to flow faster and you didn't even realize that the game was on its final match. you see dahyun burst through the gymnasium doors and go straight towards the team.

"please tell me we're winning." she said.

"we will be." lucas gave a thumbs up as he leaned on the bench, just enjoying a juice box.

"did you tap out early? you're our best blocker!" dahyun asked and the boy just shrugged.

"he didn't want to deal with choi san." chan explained and dahyun nodded.

"did he try anything funny so far?" the team shook their head.

"probably trying to look good in front of the scouts." haechan pointed towards the sleek dressed men in the front of the audience.

"no way, they all know hwang's the one getting that scholarship, i bet he's just biding his time."

"stop being so negative, dahyun, we're only a few points away, we can do this!" felix cheered, trying to calm everyone before dahyun's words get to them.

a bell signified the start of the last quarter, everyone's on their toes, everyone's thrown away every tense nerve to replace it with a do or die attitude.

"come on guys, take it home." you heard dahyun mutter towards you.

as the time ticked by, the points hiked up, they were able to close the gap with 2 points away.

haechan held yours and lucas's hands squeezing it in anticipation so you took dahyun's at your side as well.

with fifteen seconds left on the clock, this was their last chance to victory. they had to make this shot count.

you saw juyeon barreling his way to the opponent's net, shaking off hwang hyunjin whose cocky attitude had been wiped off a quarter prior.

but the enemy team had probably seen this coming, with juyeon being too good and your side's teamwork being unmatchable, they suddenly pulled their wildcard.

han jisung and choi san both left their posts, instead making hwang hyunjin face against the two that they had left behind— soobin and chan. with the guy's height and innate talent, he was able to spin the two around his palm.

san had thrown his dirty play into the mix, trying to incapacitate juyeon's shot. it all happened in a blink. juyeon was down to the floor and despite the shouts and protests of the people around the gym, the referee didn't call foul play.

you could hear your friends cursing under their breaths as han jisung snatched the ball away from a downed juyeon before attempting to run towards the other end of the court.

what they didn't expect was your team's trump card. the appearance of your golden boy. felix had left his post, risking leaving jeno open to face han jisung. he fell to the spot naturally, and despite jisung's tricks, the freckled blonde was able to undermine the boy and take the ball away.

it was two points left. felix had to make it count. he was never one for risks, but this time, he didn't want to play it safe. although overtime will be granted for a tiebreaker, your bestfriend sidestepped everyone's attempts to stop him as he went towards the three-point line. as he bent his knees to prepare for a shot, everything had turned into slow motion— he spared a glance towards your face before moving his eyes back to the net, letting go of the ball in his palm as he aimed towards victory.

5..

4..

3..

2..

1..

and that's a match.

"LEE FELIX YOU ABSOLUTE BEAST!" dahyun immediately shouted as the boys got back to the bench.

with his last shot making the hoop, felix had brought victory to the school's name, his immense risk of the last second decision under pressure is a play that will be ingrained at your school. he truly was the golden boy.

chan was so happy he had carried the smaller boy over to his shoulder, making him bask in everyone's attention as your whole school had sent compliments and flowers to his merry way. you could tell that he was feeling shy with the attention but he was happy to have won the game for his team.

"everyone did great as well! we couldn't have caught up to them without everyone's help." he said modestly as chan set him down. "i'm sorry i left my post, chan."

"dude, no need to be humble, you absolutely killed that." lucas patted him on the back, even minho was nodding with acknowledgement.

"felix you have to sign my jersey now." haechan joked and felix just smacked his jersey away.

"alright alright, let's get you off those sweaty uniforms." dahyun said as she pushed everyone to the backroom. "in a few moments, that crowd's gonna be brave enough to approach ya'll and then we won't be able to leave."

although dahyun wanted to stay, she still had schoolwork to worry about, so she left you to wait outside the guys' room while they changed. she was utterly delighted with the win and would try to join the post-celebration party once she's free.

as you waited for them to finish, a man approached you from the stands. you immediately took notice of his sleek attire, a professional polo topped with a tie, remembering that this was one of the scouts watching the game.

"excuse me, you're the manager right? is the team inside?" you nodded at his words.

"yes, ummm, they're changing but i think you could just come in." you knocked before opening the door for him, "someone's here to see you." you shouted, not wanting to take a peek inside.

the man thanked you before heading in, and you curse at the fact that you can't hear anything beyond the door. but this was good, right? this means that juyeon's gonna get his scholarship! you felt giddy at the thought, making a mental note to make him a congratulatory cake.

the scout left the room, giving you a nod as he smiled at you, complimenting the team's amazing play and you just bowed at him politely with a thank you.

you risked going inside, debating that they're probably done getting dressed now.

with a huge smile, you went in, about to say congratulations to juyeon but instead you see him pinning your bestfriend to the lockers by his shirt.

you stopped on your tracks, not knowing what to say but nobody seems to have noticed your presence, they were all busy holding juyeon back as he seethed towards your freckled boy. chan and minho was trying to hold his body whilst haechan was trying to free his grasp on felix's shirt. soobin and lucas was nowhere to be seen, presumably still in the showers.

"you're not even part of the team— yet you took this opportunity away from me!"

"i-im sorry! i didn't mean to! i could just reject it—"

juyeon scoffed, "you're turning a full ride athletic scholarship away? how much of a fucking idiot can you be?! do you get some sort of high from shoving it into people's faces how you're better than everyone? feels nice doesn't it? being the golden boy, talented at everything, everyone worshipping the ground you walk on."

"juyeon calm down—" he shoved off chan who was trying to hold him off.

"my future depends on this scholarship while you just suddenly show up, take it away from me, then have the audacity to tell me that you're just going to reject it? am i a joke to you? are you trying to prove how you can get whatever you want in the snap of your fingers even when somebody else has been working for it their entire life?"

"that's not true—"

"is it because of y/n? you feel threatened that i'm getting closer to her so you steal this away from me?"

"stop jumping to conclusions, man." minho warned.

"don't bring y/n into this, i didn't mean to take this away from you!"

"don't think that i didn't notice your eyes whenever we'd hang out, golden boy. but it's not my fault that you're too much of a pussy to tell her how you really feel about her. don't you think it's kind of shitty for you to keep pretending that you're still just bestfriends even after years? even though you don't look at her with the same innocent eyes of friendship anymore? don't you think that's a bit deceiving? she thinks you're still while friends while you want something more." juyeon continued to taunt, "and now that i'm taking away the one thing that you love the most, you fight back like a snake instead of facing it like a man."

"that's not—"

"y/n?" before felix could continue, soobin called out to you as he stepped out of the showers, suddenly, all pairs of eyes land on your position by the door. the momentary surprise enough for haechan to remove juyeon's grip and chan successfully prying him away from felix.

you opened your mouth to speak but no words come out. instead what came out was labored breathing.

felix... likes you? or loves you? as more than a friend?

"y/n..." he started, but you looked back at him with the eyes of a deer caught in the headlights. as he tried to step closer gently, you immediately bolted out of there, not wanting to reel in everyone's awkward stares.

running towards nowhere in particular and it wasn't until your feet started to ache that you suddenly remembered you weren't in your own school. your team won the game, but at what cost? you know how important the scholarship is to felix— and speaking of, he likes you. you didn't know what to feel. you love him, sure, but he was always worlds away from you. any sort of romantic prospect thrown out the window because you know you'll never amount to how good he is.

you walked around the field, trying to figure out where the exit is, hoping to just catch a bus so that you don't have to ride with the team and sit in the awkwardness.

with your mind spinning around in wanders, you almost fell to the ground when you felt yourself bump into someone. "woah woah, didn't think you'd be the one falling for me." hwang hyunjin snided with a wink as he caught you by the arm, making you gag in your mouth.

"what do you want, hwang."

"why so snarky? you're the one who bumped into me."

"sorry then, i'm going home." you started to walk away but he stopped you in your tracks.

"that's not the way out, you know."

"fine, can you please point me to the exit." he just shrugged and motioned for you to follow him.

"i heard the freckled lee got the other scholarship." he laughed.

"what's so funny?"

"because i got the other one. so i don't care if we lost the game, at the end of the day, i was able to one-up juyeon. i may have lost the fight but i won the war."

"isn't it kind of sad that that's the first thing you think about? is that your motivation for this? trying to one-up others? is your self worth just based around the loss of other people?" you said as you glared at him, a bad taste in your mouth at the thought of juyeon losing something he had worked for tirelessly, competing with hwang wasn't something in his mind, all he wanted was to make his family proud. meanwhile, this reincarnation of a cocky attitude just spits it out like it's nothing.

"watch your mouth, manager. you don't know who i am, and you're in my territory." he stopped as he towered over you, glaring at you with a powerful gaze. you felt a chill run down your spine but you weren't one to back away.

"leave her alone, hwang." the tall blonde tore his gaze from you to look back at the voice that you recognized.

"congrats on the scholarship felix, see you in college." he smirked as he walked away, ignoring the sharp stares the you two are planting on him.

once he was out of earshot, felix risked getting closer to you, and from the heat of the situation you forgot the awkwardness that started to bubble in your stomach, now being too late to run away from him once again.

"are you okay, y/n? did he do something weird?" you were dumbfounded at his closeness but you could tell that he was wary on touching you, not wanting to overstep his boundaries now that you've heard how he felt about you.

you shook your head, "no, no, i'm fine, he was showing me the exit."

"let's go home together?" he asked meekly, looking at you with the same soft eyes that he's always given. and now you notice that you've never seen him give the same look for someone else. those affectionate eyes, the fondness that holds you within. it has always been just for you.

you nodded, making him lead the way. the trip back home felt awkward, and you missed the comfortable silence that you two always shared. this time, you could feel that there was an unaddressed situation that none of you seemed to wanted to take initiative in crossing.

he walked you to your door, giving you a smile before heading back to his own house— that was the first time he'd done that, always walking you all the way up to your room and hanging out before leaving. this time, he'd left you with a small emptiness.

as you went up to your room, the heaviness settled to your core after plopping on the bed, tears slowly streamed down your eyes.

you didn't know if it was because you felt bad for juyeon, or because you were happy about hearing felix's feelings although it didn't come directly from his mouth. perhaps you felt bad because you don't think you deserve him.

but one thing's certain: you loved him back. you've stopped yourself from feeling anything special towards him to the point that it hurts.

but now that the dam was broken, you can't stop yourself from falling, and now with the way felix had left you alone, you weren't sure whether there's still anyone who'd catch you.

with eyes heavy from tears, you fell to a deep slumber.

you woke up at the sight of your bestfriend shaking you awake, your mind felt groggy, your eyes a bit heavy.

"hey, your mom told me you skipped dinner."

"what time is it?" you asked as you rubbed your eyes awake, seeing the moonlight shine inside your bedroom.

"12 AM." he answered.

"then why are you here?" you asked him and he just sat beside your bed.

"i talked to juyeon... he also said he couldn't reach you so he was worried, so i came to check on you. i also got you food." you nodded at his words, seeing the takeout bag in his hands.

"are you guys good now?" you sat up awake, finally getting your bearings back as you stared at felix.

he shrugged, "hopefully, but i think we'll still need some time."

"i see.. that's understandable.."

"but i'm not here to talk about juyeon."

you swallowed, preparing yourself for the next words you're about to hear.

"i love you, y/n. i've always had. i was mad that you wanted to pretend like strangers because i didn't want to lose you to anyone else. i was so used to having you by my side and going to school without you made me realize that i can't spend a day separated from you. i know the way you found out isn't exactly the best situation ever but my feelings for you are real. i was jealous when you were hanging out with juyeon but i know how much the scholarship means to him, i didn't take it away on purpose because of you. i respect your friendship with him and i know you're also sad for him— so please, y/n, i hope you don't think of me any differently."

he just held your hand through his words, nervousness apparent in his voice as he squeezed your hand affectionately. he was anticipating your answer, scared but prepared.

you felt overwhelmed but you knew you couldn't deny it any longer.

"i love you too— and not just as a friend, i've always thought you'd drift away from me because—" you couldn't even finish your words as he trapped you in his embrace. the familiarity of his natural scent mixed with his cologne delightfully filling your senses and turning your brain into mush.

he held your body in his arms and your heart in his eyes as he stared down at you.

and this time, you both risked a shot as your lips softly collided with each others.

basking in the moonlight as you conveyed your true feelings through gentle motions of your lips.

it was soft, sweet, and it felt like a happy summer day.

lee felix was the manifestation of the sun, but he shined only for you.

he was your golden boy.

mastertag: @leagreenly @geniejunn @90s-belladonna

[ladyhearthkeeper]

Homemade food (from scratch)

When I talk about homemade food and its benefits, people always tell me "but nobody has the time".

It’s true... Most people are forced because of work and other circumstances to rely on ready made food or have to order in. If someone in the household has the duty to provide good nutritious food for everyone and if it’s their main priority.... I’m pretty sure we’d eat better.

And yet food is such a basic and essential part of our life. Then why do we look down upon those who cook our meals (unless they are so called ‘chefs’)?

Most of the people around me have some ailments connected to food : allergies, intolerance etc. Often times, it’s because of the additives in the food to keep it fresh or to make it taste better or look better.

It’s ok if we eat food that we didn’t make from time to time but if we only rely on this.. it’s bound to create havoc in our body and soul.

What we consume affect our body but also our mind (think of chemical imbalances) and heart & soul (think of the thoughts put in the food by the people making it consciously or subconsciously.)

I saw this quote by Hippocrates (the father of modern medicine) in a restaurant (the irony...)

Let food be thy medicine and let thy medicine be food

A hearthkeeper knows what are the ailments of her family and friends and, with proper knowledge, she can help them stay healthy.

Our society looks down on women who decide to stay home to feed their family and make it seem like it’s a lowly job. But it’s such an essential task. Why would we let food manufacturers decide what we should eat or not?

Making food also makes us connect with nature, especially if we use ingredients that are local and of season... And those are usually the best for us. For example, there are researches that say that eating raw honey from your region will lessen your hay fever.

Making your own food does take time and effort but it’s probably why it’s better for us than ready made food.

What are the steps in this process?

Finding out (with observation, help of a nutritionist or serious knowledge) what you and your family can eat and how/when. Learning about proper nutrition and locally grown produce (some regions have more than others:)

Finding recipes that you and your family will enjoy and that include nutritious ingredients.

Investing in the right cooking instruments. Some are better for your health than others. Do your research. Some tools are fancy and useless or can only be used for one thing.. It’s up to you to prepare your tools according to your needs and budget. It’s worth investing in good quality.

Learning food preserving skills like jamming, canning (need to learn this!), syrup making, drying etc. can be very useful in the long run. It can also be a great opportunity to connect with your mother, grandmother or friend if you ask them to teach you.

Buying the right ingredients (according to your budget and geographical context) Finding out which store or market caters to your needs and is easily reachable. Though, with the internet we are very fortunate! In my regions, some farmers even send you a basket of produces every week.

Processing and storing your ingredients. Some vegetables may need immediate action, some can be stored for a later used. Once more, we are fortunate to live with freezers and fridges.

Cooking with joy, care and love. I love singing when I’m cooking. Once more, you can do batch cooking, you can prepare meals in advance and freeze them etc. It all depends on the time you have. I prefer cooking on the day we will eat the dish. But it does happen that I have to process fruits of vegetables before they go bad.

Finding creative ways of recycling leftovers into something delicious for the next day.

As always, more can be said on the subject and every homemaker has her own way of doing this. This is just an attempt to remind all of us that making food is a sacred function and should be handled with love and respect.

What are your cooking tips? What was your first favourite recipe?

Today I’m making my favourite aubergine pennes. Even if there are leftovers, they are delicious the next day. And it can be made in a big quantity!

Bon appétit!

[tech-knowing-hillbilly]

The hillbilly: Music and life in Appalachia

Day 1

When Tr’thl’ia first learned that the ship would be getting humans from a region on Earth that the humans called “Appalachia”, xe were confused. They had only ever met humans that came from cities near coasts, and had heard of what those humans referred to as “Hillbillies” in almost a derogatory tone. xe took it upon xemself to learn about what kind of humans would be joining xem. As xe read, xey started to understand why other humans had been critical of those from that area. Xe read about how that are hadn’t really been very populous due to the terrain, and also learned that because of the lack of infrastructure in that area, many humans that lived there did not get a lot of education due to many families being in poverty, mainly due to the only jobs in those areas being in the coal mines or other jobs that depended on coal. Xe read about events such as the Coal Wars, specifically about the Battle of Blair Mountain, which made xem shudder with sorrow for the lives that were lost. Xe also read about families such as the Hatfield's and McCoy's, which reinforced the stereotype of humans from there being violent and uneducated. Xe resigned xemself to dealing with constant fights and dealing with whomever started each one.

Day 2

When John McKannon walked onboard the G.U.R.V(Galactic Union Research Vessel) Frailing with the others from the mountains, he was surprised to see Security Officer Tr’thl’ia standing there, waiting with what looked like dread and disdain.

“Hello, my name is-” 

“I know who you are, Hillbilly.” Tr’thl’ia stated.” Just know this about my ship. I will not tolerate violence on this ship. If any of you or your friends cause trouble onboard, you will be shot out the airlock mid warp. do you understand?”

“Yes Xir,” John simply replied. What in the absolute fuck was xer problem?

Day 3

The day went, much to xis suprise, without physical incident. There was an incident around the second meal of the day that involved one of the hillbillies, Amos, and one of the other humans, Mike, from a place called “Florida”, in which Mike did some sort of odd whooping noise with their hand over their mouth and bounced around, which xe would later learn is a type of “racial” slur against those of First Nations descent. This caused Amos to start charging toward Mike before being stopped by John. Tr’thl’ia was confused by this, as the research that xe did before hand showed by all accounts that John shouldn’t have stopped Amos and instead should have even joined into the fight.

In the evening, or what could be considered evening on the ship, Tr’thl’ia was making xis rounds when xe heard a sound that xe had never heard before. It was rythmic, strumming sound along with beats that xe could not place, and it seemed to be coming from the rec area of the Hillbillies( they were given their own area as the captain was advised to by Tr’thl’ia). As xe drew closer xe could start to make out words:

My old mistress promised me                                                                                  When she died she’d set me free/                                                                           Lived so long her head went bald,                                                                           I don’t believe she gon’ die at all!                                      

more of the strumming and thudding sounds.

You take yours, and I’ll take mine,                                                                           We’ll go fishing in the summer time!/                                                                       You get a line, and I’ll get a pole,                                                                            and We’ll run down to the fishin’ hole!

Xe was at the threshold of the doorway to their rec room, and saw something that was suprising to xem. All of the hillbillies, save John and Amos were surrounding those two. John was strumming an object in their hands that looked like a disk with a stick on it, and Amos looked to be stomping. Xe let an audible gasp that drew the attention of everyone in the room.

“Are you alright?” John asked.

Yes, I w-was just investigating the source of the noise that I had heard. What were you doing with that object to get that sound?” Tr’thl’ia asked in amazement.

“This? this is a banjo, which is an instrument from Earth that was based on an instrument from Africa. And the noise that you heard is an old tune called ‘Hook and Line’. It’s a song that’s been played in our mountains for years.”John replied.

And those thuds that I heard?”

“That is a type of dance known as ‘Buck Dancing’. It is a dance that is similar to tap dancing , but where tap dancing is more involved with the front of the foot, buck dancing uses the whole of it to act almost as a set of drums for mountain bluegrass.” Amos answered.

“Ah, so is it a form of war chant, or ritual?” Asked tr’thl’ia.

“It is neither, it is a form of entertainment that is popular in the Appalachians due to it being very cheap, and it is good for social bonding.” 

“So that explains why you are all around. But why did Mike make that odd sound towards you, and why did that upset you?”

Amos turned red at that question, looking like he was about to cry , and John cut in for him, speaking in a soft, but firm tone. “He did it because he is a racist piece of shit, that’s why. Amos is Native American. His people where some of the first in the region, and were deeply persecuted back in the day for both their culture and skin color. Many were made to leave the area in an event known as the Trail of Tears. But some of those people did not wish to go on the Trail of Tears, and instead retreated deep into the mountains, for safety. Even still, many people nowadays hold deep prejudices against his people, and others like them. That’s why many of his people hid in those mountains, and joined communities of those that hid there as well for various reasons.”

“I understand now why you had a reaction like that, but why don’t other humans like people from your area? You seem like people that are very accepting from what you have told me.” Tr’thl’ia questioned.

“Because they are not as accepting as they seem. They came from privileged homes, homes with food on the table, parents who were home all the time to be able to answer questions, to help them learned. They are jealous that they do not have the drive to be able to get out of tough situations, like we do. Many of those you see here among us are from families that are broken and poor, with one or both parents gone at any given time. Many of us had days where we wouldn’t eat, because we wanted our younger siblings to be able to have a meal. Hell, many of us are working here TO support our families back home, to fight to keep food on the table. We fight a lot, as you probably have read, because we have to, because we have no other choice but to fight over resources as simple as food. That fighting, brings us together, the struggle brings people in our communities together, as we have all shared that struggle at least once.” John picks up his water glass and takes a sip. “We all here had to work to get out of those hills, for if we didn’t nobody would help us get out. We would all be dead within twenty years.”

Tr’thl’ia listened to the words that John was saying, and really thought them over and began to feel a bit of remorse for the way xe had greeted them earlier.

“I’m sorry,” Tr’thl’ia said softly, “ for the way I greeted you when you came aboard. I was biased by what the other humans had said about your people, and what they would be like, without giving me context as to why you may have to be that way. I didn’t realize that you would have to struggle that much to get out of that area, I thought that you would have all of the resources that you need to do what ever you wanted to do for a job, and that it was your own fault for not leaving.”

John cracked a warm smile at that. “You have no need to apologize for that. Many people have that same reaction to us. What matters is that you have the balls to accept that you were in the wrong and have tried to make some sort of amends. Now, where were we?”

You take hook, I’ll take line,                                                                                     We’ll go fishin’ in the summer time!

(If you made it this far down the story, Thank you! This is my first post, so it is probably a bit rough, but I hope you enjoyed it. Name of the tune mentioned in the story is ‘Hook and Line’ and if you want a good example of both the song and Buck Dancing, check out  Clifton Hicks - Hook and Line (dance accompaniment)! He is very talented and also has many videos on the history of the banjo and the afro-carribean roots of it. He also does lessons on older styles of playing such as Overhand(Frailing, clawhammer) and two finger picking. Thanks again for reading and I hope you enjoy!)

[otome-on-the-side]

Obey Me! Language HCs

uhhh I was talking to some friends over on discord about angels and thought “Oh I have angel and demon head canons I wanna post!” but then as I wrote them down, it was entirely about angelic and infernal language and how the characters of OM would relate to that so uh. more under the cut 

starting out strong with the idea that MC had some spell work cast on them to better survive and be able to do school work at R.A.D., as well as being able to communicate with everyone involved in the program; thus anything they read or hear is translated into their native language.  

Lucifer is the one that crafted and casted this spell on MC.   

Both Angels and Demons have their own languages, but both are convoluted as hell and would take multiple human lifetimes to learn 

This means that the brothers aren’t monolingual, as most of them were originally angels*. I couldn’t tell you how many human languages they’ve bothered to learn- (Leviathan is deeply interested in translations due to being a self proclaimed otaku, Satan loves dramas & mysteries ((which are genres that can pop up in any language)), Mammon seems like the type to pop up ANYWHERE and be down to gamble, i could go on)  But I can say with confidence they Definitely Know Some**.  *Satan is the obvious exception to this rule, but I feel like he would either learn it from his brothers, or, as an angstier option: the trauma of fall would cause the brothers to never teach satan, though when his siblings slip into celestial (something very rare, and only done when tempers are high and they’re flinging war trauma at each other), which leads him to feel even more hollow and an outsider within his own family  ** I can say with 100% confidence Belphie and Beel Do Not speak english and just use magic to understand most human language post fall. Belphie was probably really interested in the idea pre-fall, but those feelings soured quickly post the fact. Neither of the twins really have much business in the human realm other than to cause havoc. or

Hell (I like to think of the Devildom as the capital of the entire realm, rather than the whole) and all of its levels technically have one language but uhhh. man does it have a large amount of regional variants. It’s like that Italian map of variants of the word pussy down there

you can throw a couple of demons together and they can shoot the breeze (argue) about language semantics for aaaages 

It’s for the best that the majority of the demons MC speaks to are: - the brothers (infernal is their second language ((aside from satan, but i feel like he learned along with his brothers))) or - Diavolo (Who probably had Proper Grammar pressed onto him & a speech tutor growing up) and - Barbatos (Who unnervingly always sounds unaccented, neutral, and polite no matter who he speaks to)  It makes it easier on the translation spell MC has and keeps any confusion over slang minimal. 

The brothers first language is definitely celestial 

Mammon’s the one, out of all the brothers, that spends the most time with “lesser” demons due to his vice of gambling- this means that he’s picked up the most ““improper”” infernal out of anyone in the main cast. Thus, due to MC’s translation spell, he has the most discernable accent. There is no one “demonic accent” but his use of slang is clear even though a spell filtering his speech. It still clings to him even when he speaks human languages, but when he’s serious or upset his angelic accent creeps in [i.e. becoming notably more Proper TM as a result of caster bias: aka Lucifer]  

since they’ve fallen, the language has drifted a little; it’s hardly noticeable to the angels, but it gets a little comical when Luke talks in celestial to Simeone and the brothers are like “[squinting] What are you even Talking About??” 

Luke initially wasn’t even remotely interested in learning infernal when he first joined the exchange program. He’s slowly warming to the idea as time goes on, however. 

Simeon knew a smattering of infernal- you can only pick up so much when you’re only able to visit here and there and actively reside in the celestial realm- but as the exchange program goes on, he gets the hang of it faster and faster. Phone menus where especially hard for him at first though :< 

Out of the purgatory hall, Solomon knows infernal best, thanks to his long standing pacts with multiple demons, and the fact that he enjoys spending time in the devildom, and with both Asmodeus and Barbatos. Though, occasionally he’ll say something that Sounds right to MC and their translation spell, but in infernal, its weirdly phrased enough to make Asmodeus snort with laughter.