#score: 4

[misireads]

None of This Is True by Lisa Jewell

[ audiobook, listened in finnish ]

two women born on the same day, in the same area of london, have a chance meeting on their joined 45th birthday. one of them, alix, is a famous podcaster and the whole book is framed as a podcast and netflix true crime documentary series about the events that unfolded after the other woman, josie, asked if alix could do a podcast episode on her because her life is "about to thoroughly change" and she wanted alix to document it. josie is a bit unusual from the get-go and alix is intrigued enough by her to agree. both women also have problems in their marriages, which josie tries to use as some bonding leverage, but during the recording sessions for the podcast, she gradually reveals more and more about just how fucked up her marriage and entire life has been. things escalate when a badly beaten up josie appears at alix's door one night at 3am, saying that her husband attacked her. but this is only the real beginning of alix finding out what she's gotten herself into by connecting with josie.

➕ this was the first book in a long time that had me OBSESSED from the start, i couldn't stop listening for like three days straight. clearly a novel written for true crime documentary fans, which i am. the structure of the whole book follows the true crime doc format, with an innocuous enough introduction part and sinister hints dropped here and there, and then things start escalating little by little. this story even comes with baked-in descriptions of people saying something dramatic for a cliffhanger and then the screen fades to black and the netflix episode ends. jewell really nailed the mood with this one.

➕ given that the title literally says nothing about this is true, it was fun to try and guess which parts exactly were falsified. but the fucked up thing was that josie is written as a decently likable character in the beginning, so even the reader almost refuses to believe that she would be lying. she wouldn't, right?? the poor woman who's lived in an older man's shadow all her life and is only just starting to find her own spotlight!

➖ this too started dragging a little towards the end, it was on track to be a 5 based on the beginning because i was just that hooked, but then the excitement and momentum died a bit towards the end… the points were hammered in a bit too excessively during the uhhh climax. and the very end… could have lived without that.

➖ walter's character is so thoroughly disturbing, that left me feeling i have no idea what the fuck i just read. judging by reviews, everyone kinda feels the same way.

⭐ score: 4 -- i feel like i would have wanted to like this more than i did in the end. still, it was a really solid thriller experience, exactly what i look for. i think i'll try a couple more jewell novels next.

[yippee-optimistically]

ii think i have . a crush. but u know i had to redraw tha panic attack scene 🗣️🗣️🗣️

+joy bc she is cute! and the og sketch for one of them bc shes so funny 2 me

inside out 2 was soo good i have a crush on maya hawke i thinkg

[seasononesam]

😭😭😭 I know sam was MAD

[formulanni]

Dear lord please double Logan Sargeant’s misfortune and give it to the British this weekend 🧎‍♀️

Tag list: @st-leclerc @rubywingsracing @saviour-of-lord @three-days-time

[slickricklj]

Resident Evil 4 Remake: The Mercenaries - Special Victory Poses

[wileys-russo]

good afternoon to everyone who celebrates victory

[skruttet]

them using snufkin's theme for the joxter is the best decision and also makes me want to lie on the ground and cry for the rest of time

[hypogryffin]

just a kuma kinda mooda

[intriga-hounds]

the sauce is finally getting some appetite back…i’ve been feeding her primarily burger patties the past several days just to get calories in her, but today she finally chowed down on some puppy kibble and a can of wet food. i think i managed to get about 700 calories into her today, when it’s been a struggle to get her to do anything over 200 since day 21. by day 32 she was a pound lighter than she was the day she was bred—despite being pregnant. today is day 38 and the puppies should start growing rapidly now, so they need lots of fuel. relieved that we finally seem to be getting out of this morning sickness funk.

[crimescrimson]

Ada Wong & Leon S. Kennedy: Original Vs Remake Volume Two [Reunion | Boat Ride | Captured | Nothing Personal | Seperate Ways]

[misireads]

Myrrys ("Sage") by Anniina Mikama

[ physical book, read in finnish ]

a charles dickens-esque story with a sprinkle of magic set in the kainuu region of finland in the famine years of early 1800s, niilo is an orphaned boy living in poor conditions as a slave in a wealthy-ish farmer family. his life is shit, especially thanks to the cruel master of the house, but he cannot complain since the family bothered to take him as a small child when his mother died. one day a local sage takes niilo as his apprentice as the payment for curing the family's son's leg that's mauled by a bear. niilo is scared of the sage at first because of his reputation as a witch doctor doing black magic in the middle of the woods, but the man turns out to be a fine lad and the first person ever who treats niilo as an equal human being. they live together for almost a year, going through all sorts of experiences and little adventures together, and become close friends. niilo comes to love the wilderness and the forest and also learns some magic from his new master. although niilo's life has drastically improved, the fact that it did angers the asshole father of his old home who continues being a menace to both him and the sage until the bitter end. on the side, niilo begins to learn more about his late parents, what really happened to them, and what kind of future they intended for him.

➕ so this is a book for younger teenagers, it was in the children&teens area at the library, so it has a juvenile vibe that softens the harsh themes a lot. it's a mid-length book, almost 400 pages, and somehow felt simultaneously very long, like the story felt very big for a book of this length, but was fast to read because there's a lot happening all the time also due to the YA nature probably. there are several episodic chapters where niilo and martin go hunting, niilo helps a man out of a frozen lake, etc.

➕ martin the sage is a very sympathetic character, i liked him a lot. niilo has less personality but he's meant to be the young hero character coming from poor conditions and thriving when someone actually likes him and gives him the chance, i find that very dickens-like. there aren't exactly any flaws about him, he's perfect at just about anything he does in the entire book, his "flaw" is that the farmer family doesn't like him. the real MVPs of the story are the pastor who helps niilo to reconnect with his family and the farmer family's son who has the truest character development arc.

➕ the finnish mythology elements

➕ beautifully written, this author's commitment to descriptions of nature and especially the woods is no joke

➖ i don't really like stuff set in historical finland, like the aesthetics of this sort of old-timey living conditions shit are off-putting. i don't even care about museums with this theme or anything.

➖ i was expecting this to have more fantasy elements… the first spread before the real book begins opens with a spell in the archaic finnish style so i really thought that was supposed to set the tone, but it was just kind of a minor element in here after all. i mean it's important, niilo saves the day with his forest magic several times, but overall… just not as much mythology stuff as i expected. honestly my expectations got in the way once again because i was hoping this would be like teen lit about finnish mythology set in modern times so when i realised very early on it's not, it kinda flattened my mood and the start was very slow for me because i was like ehh… meehhhhh…. a farm house in northern(ish) finland in the 1820s….. bleh.... do i have to read this.....

➖ juhani the master of the farm house is such a comically evil character. but i feel like that too is a dickens-esque character archetype? there's the mean, wealthy man who turns out to be fradulent on multiple fronts and it comes down to the young hero to prove it to everyone. still, i just kind of wanted someone to grab an ax and toss it at his head like, five pages in

⭐ score: 4 -- i teared up reading the final page and am not even sure why, maybe some line struck a chord or it was just the story coming to an end. but i never cry at anything so that has to be the sign of a great book

[zer0pm]

Imagine Luis at a loss when you get back at him for every time he’s made you blush.

Response to @lilchickie’s genius request with a little twist :3 a flustered husband you shall have

He warns, “This might hurt a little.”

“Promises, promises.”

A deep chuckle followed by a comforting squeeze…

And he gently pushes in.

You wince upon the intrusion as the needle pierces your skin. Cool liquid pours into your veins, feeling like a breeze washing over you. Luis is mindful as he pulls the needle out and bandages your arm. Once he finishes, you give him a curt thanks and roll down your sleeve.

“Good news, that should prevent most plaga eggs from entering your system.” he explained clinically, throwing away the used items into an empty oil barrel nearby before returning his attention wholly to you. “The bad news, this is only a temporary solution and will do nothing against direct contact from stronger variants.”

“So basically, don’t start kissing any locals,” you remark in jest. “Got it.”

The man winks playfully, “Well- Unless it’s me, of course.”

You cheeks burn red. There he goes again.

The man is a serial flirt. You’ve known that since the moment you met him and he candidly asked you for a smoke. Confirmed when you said that you didn’t and he proceeded to ask for your number. You didn’t mind this, of course. Luis Serra was ruggedly handsome and possessed a witty charm that effortlessly drew you in like a magnet. However, as sexually charismatic as he made himself appear, Luis was above all a gentleman that never pushes the envelope in his advances. At worst, he leaves you a flustered mess with no say in the matter. As he’s currently doing now…

Taking your silence as a sign that he won over you yet again, Luis begins to back away from your seated form. He doesn’t go very far, however, as he’s stopped by deft fingers clutching at him by the zipper of his leather jacket. The Spaniard glances at you with mild curiosity.

No way you’re going to let him get away with it this time. You meet his questioning gaze, a coy grin tugged at the end of your lips.

“I might just take you up on that… Dr. Serra.”

His eyes widen at your words and the suggestive undertone within them, mouth hanging open but no words come out. You steal this opportunity to pull him closer to you and was met with no resistance. Bringing him into your space until he was caged between your legs, you use your other hand to toy with the lapel of his jacket. Again he says nothing, eyes following your hands intently.

“What’s the matter, Luis?” you drawl coquettishly. “Plaga got your tongue?”

Your question hardly brings him back to his senses, heart pumping and mind racing so heavily that all he managed was a simple-

“¿Qué?”

Got him.

“What was that?” you feign deafness. “You’re going to have to come closer. Can barely hear you.”

Your mischievous hand leaves the flap to slowly glide up his chest, deliberately feeling along the strong muscle hiding beneath the finely stitched patterns. You can practically feel the man purr under your touch and nearly laugh when he tried to disguise it by clearing his throat.

Eventually, your hand reaches his shoulder. A suggestive squeeze and Luis leans toward you like a moth to a flame. His hands rest on either side of you upon the flat surface of the crate, mindful not to touch you although you can tell he desperately wanted to. Grey eyes constantly switch between your eyes and lips, a palpable hunger in his gaze. He leans until his lips hover over yours, open and inviting but never catching. The heat of his body radiates warmth yet you can feel him shiver under your hands in anticipation.

“How’s, uh- this?” His words fumbled in a low whisper, voice dripping with want.

You hum, appearing to ponder deeply. “Not quite. A little closer.”

Your ears pick up the sound of his nails scratching against the wood as he balled his hands into fists. His chest heaves with a deep, shaky sigh. Luis complies with your command slowly until you can barely feel the softness of his mouth and the taste of his warm breath upon your tongue. His musky scent nearly makes you dizzy but you hold firm.

“There. That’s… better,” you say slowly, purposely drawing out your words so that your lips gently brushed his. His lust-driven mind turned to mush, Luis mindlessly mimics your mouth’s movement in a clumsy attempt to capture them. “Now what was it…you wanted…to say… Luis?”

At the sound and feel of his name, he muttered yours without thought under a desperate groan. The man was absolutely drunk off of you. And thirsty for more. You breathe in deeply, the sound from your mouth coming off like a wanting gasp and Luis tilts his head to align with your tempting lips. He moves to dive in and devour you-

Zzzp!

The sharp sound breaks the man from the spell and he pulls back to look down and see you’ve done up his jacket. The man catches your gaze once more and is met with a victorious glint in your eyes. Your bottom lip caught in between your teeth in restrained giddy humor. Luis blinks in realization that he has been had, ears and cheeks burning red. But his expression wasn’t that of anger nor embarrassment. If anything at all, he had a look of newfound respect. A tiny bit of disappointment. And desire burning still.

The dashing man attempts to save face with a short chuckle. “Good one.”

You faux innocence. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Cuidado, my friend.” The man growls, his tone thick with daring. “You’re playing a dangerous game.”

It was both a warning and an invitation all in one. And you were all for it- Eager to see how much and how long it would take for you both to drive each other insane. The idea pumped you with excitement, mind already coming up with new scenarios to play with him.

You push him back gently until you’re back on your feet, facing him head-on. Already were you missing his warmth, but the sly smile never leaves when you respond back. Another shrug, “Seems pretty tame to me.”

The confounded look on his handsome face was priceless. Without a second glance, you brush past him, making sure that your hand slithered along his body with promising intent until your reach no longer touched him. You barely hear Luis curse softly in his native tongue and can feel the heavy weight of his wanting eyes locked onto your retreating form.

Challenge accepted.

[awkwardanxiousasexual]

Look I'd love to be wrong but I'm just trying to be realistic

[pedripics]

✌️✌️

[tommarvoloriddlesdiary]

Tom: Right, let's say that Harry and I are married-

Harry, confused but he has priorities: I don’t want to marry you.

Tom: This is simply pretence, Harry-

Harry: Well, I don’t want to pretend that either; you’re like a 4 out of 10.

Tom, drawing his wand: LET’S JUST SAY WE ARE MARRIED-

Harry, also drawing his wand: I WANT A DIVORCE.

[thelaurenshippen]

man, not to brag about my own show or anything, but while there are always things I would change about anything I make (and definitely PLENTY of things I could have done better as a writer/the showrunner of this show) Evan really fucking nailed the score for The AM Archives. it's just.....very fucking good.