#probably better if im ignored
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💜💜💜💖💖🎶
I want to make otherkin/therian (or alterhuman/nonhuman, whatever term y'all prefer) friends, but interacting with people is so scary and half the time I barely have the motivation to function, let alone socialize.
So...uh.........
Be my friend? Please? 🥹
(No pressure of course)
(Also, I've realized that I forgot to mention that I'm 19 since it was never relevant to this blog. So, keep that in mind before dming. <3)
#i dont mind how yall want to communicate (dms/comments/reblogs/asks) i dont care#i just want friends#otherkin#alterhuman#otherkin community#alterhuman community#nonhuman#nonhuman community#otherkin stuff#otherlink#otherhearted#otherhuman#otherkin struggles#otherkin things#come interact with me#pwease#:)#<3#no pressure#probably better if im ignored#im annoying and socially akward/anxious#and im low enough in the tags on this post to easily get away with being self deprecating#so ill just say i suck and am annoying and inconvenient so you should probably ignore me and save your time#i doubt ill actually respond#dont mind me just casually hating myself in tags#god i hope no one actually reads these tags#im such a pick me attention seeker :(#venting in the tags is fun#cuz no one will see them#geez how many tags do i have left
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Happy birthday to the most special girl in the universe!! Wanted to try something ambitious and ended up with the biggest comic I've done to date
#signalis#ariane yeong#elster#overestimating elsters ability to paint so ignore how it looks probably way better than she could have done ok?#myart#i have nothing cool to say here i am so tired. i baked a cake from scratch lol and that took so much out of me...#im old..#im like cycling(hah) thru three diff elster designs bear with me here#elster seems like the type of person to be really good at gifts..kinda feel like u gotta be when ur on the same ship for um like. 15 years
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Arcane ships ranked, for fun
The main ships and some rarepairs I've found, I like pretty much everything in the first 4 rows. I probably missed some but idk what they are and I'm too lazy to add more rn.
feel free to add your thoughts or ships but again its just for funsies :)
#you can probably tell which characters I like most by how many ships of them I know lmao#ignore the many tags im legit just rambling abt my thoughts on each ship#caitvi is in its own rank cause Im not playing with caitvi fans they are correct that is the best ship even if I like other some ships more#arcane#arcane s2#arcane spoilers#caitvi#jayvik#timebomb#lest arcane#whats the ship name for mel and lest?#lestel? idk im not calling them melest lol#mel x lest#catcouncil#oo is that it? it came up when typing. thats kinda cute but also vague#vilco#ik that one for sure#vanco#jaymelvik#mel x sevika#idk the ship name for that one either I actually just found out abt it but editing the pic for them convinced me to ship them#idk if anyone else ships ambessa and viktor there were only 4 fics on ao3 under it but i ship it cmon he's her type#she would eat him for protein#jaymel#melvik#i actually like both of these ships but they're infinitely better as poly imo#dont know how many people ship viktor and vander either but i saw a lot of potential in act 2 for it with all their astral plane connecting#sevika x ambessa#that would be hot but also hate sex probably#I love sky but i do not ship her and Viktor he just is clearly not interested and she kinda lets go of her crush on him before dissolving
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ive been struggling big time coming up with anything funny to draw that hasnt been done yet so have my rw au art dump
#ive never actually done a dump like this before i usually just keep the doodles to myself. new experience#ive been getting better at drawing rw lizards in a way i like#also doll and beau are there cause i felt like it#i need to change dolls patterns. how do you people just design these#it being finals week has not helped my motivation in the slighest#thinking through the plot in my head some more made me notice some glaring plotholes so ive gotta go fix that probably#or just ignore some of the scenes#this would be a lot easier to figure out if i could write#im so tired but i feel bad not posting here#while looking for which tags i used in my last rwmd posts i discovered i accidentally reblogged something#how did that happen. what#fyi i guess i tend to not reblog things cause i like keeping this blog mostly art#art#murder drones#rain world#too lazy to tag characters figure it out
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this part of VAL's monologue about how she was created keeps coming back to me, because while it isn't the only time that we see her being capable of empathy or sympathy, and of recognising other people as victims of the same cruelty and violence that she herself was (as we hear when she talks about the civilians killed at dutler's weald), it is the one time that she doesn't try to separate herself from them entirely, as though that will protect her from being made the same - helpless, and suffering at the whims of others. perhaps because she sees the person she was before she was hallowed as a separate entity already - the one who made the decision that damned them both - but perhaps also because they are her, or what she could have been, and she them. i can't help but wonder how many nights she spent telling herself that the doors to the cells in that substation would miraculously unlock, and they would all walk free. that the cellmate whose screams kept her awake would take to the latest hallowing brands, or at least stop being in so much pain. that her mother would come back, and her hands would be soft. that someone would apologise for what they were doing to her. to all of them. i wonder how many lies she whispered into the dark before she stopped believing them. perhaps it was when she realised that hers was the only voice left calling out into the silence.
#🐉#as usual im probably reading way too much into things just because i have favourite character disease#but i have to ask myself why she would be considered 'controllable' in any capacity#unless they managed to break her somehow. and how better to do that than teach her that the only way#she would ever walk out of that cell would be if she became what they made her.#not to mention what it would do to you psychologically to become a saint after having your every prayer ignored for days without end#to be met with silence from every god and then become a home for one anyway#the silt verses#VAL thesiltverses
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All For One should have stayed on the sidelines as a character after Kamino. His evolvement in everything after that significantly weakens the story. Building up Tomura as his protégé, framing him as the next symbol of evil, and then pulling the rug under everyone’s feet, is the worst writing decision Hori has ever made. In concept, All For One failing at passing the torch to Tomura is good, because it directly parallels All Might and his mentorship to Izuku. Unlike All For One, Toshinori was aware the younger generation needed to take up the mantle. All For One is a selfish and controlling person, it makes perfect sense for him to be unable to give up his power to someone else. But in execution it falls apart the moment All For One continues to force himself upon the narrative, continues to serve as the big bad. All For One’s inability to pass the torch and Tomura as a main antagonist can co-exist without weakening the themes of the story.
Like, imagine how cool it would have been if All for One was destroyed by Tomura after he tried taking control over his body and mind. Tomura realizes his master is holding him back from achieving his full potential and his goal, the thing he literally lives and fights for. Triumph over his master would be Tomura’s final step to becoming the new symbol of evil and his self-liberation. Then, he would truly be free of everything holding him back. AFO, the puppeteer, the man always one step ahead of everyone else, would be conquered by the very same person he molded – he planted the seed, but at last, what grows is out of his control. In a sense, he would be punished by the story for failing at passing the torch and Tomura would be cemented as the final antagonist, and his journey would feel satisfying.
All though, I see why Horikoshi didn’t write it like that – cause that would require giving Tomura actual autonomy as a character. Something he actively avoids doing every chance he gets. It’s easier to have a character who is crafted to be evil by one powerful bad man before he was even born, than to portray an abused child failed by a fundamentally corrupt society that values consumerism over actually helping those in need, who ended up in the hands of the powerful bad man because the child slipped through the cracks of said society. MHA conveys to the viewer that there are no bad systems, only bad people within the established systems.
Tomura couldn’t own his conception, nor his heroic goals, not even his abuse. Nothing ever happened to him because of society as a whole or because life is cruel and merciless. It happened because Anime-Satan said so.
#mha critical#bnha critical#this probably sounds rambly and i can format it and phrase some sentences better but i needed to put my thoughts out#im surprised hori didn't write a scene with afo rubbing his hands together and giggling#"young tomura check out this neat multiple player game...is it called ”league of legends“#it's genuinely ridiculous#Izuku and Tomura's parallels were also ruined cause of this#Tomura and Eri's parallels too#decay being overhaul is so dumb im losing braincells just thinking about it#mha is definitely the most story of all time#When i make the point about All Might im ignoring his dumb iron man suit cause its honestly less egregious than afo's entire existence#still stupid tho#i need this thumb aizen wanna be GONEE
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Did You Know making grandfest outfits for your ocs is fun. and everyone should do it
#im not that experienced w making outfits tho so i mostly just covered them in spikes. gfhksgd#margins shark tooth thing is like. in 2 halves btw. that entire thing is not shoved through her ear its like a normal piercing#realised shes standing in like almost the exact pose of her 2023 ref also but. its drawn better now lol#splat ocs#margin#russet#buddy#my art#ignore that they should probably have their team colour ink and not the silver i just thought it was neat
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Knighthoods of the Mail
(pages 919-925)
I really like both these panels, the extreme downward angle on Jade who has the disadvantage of being small and the advantage of being alive and angry, and the close up on Grandpa, both of them lit by the strange pink-orange firelight. Fire and burning is a threat we’ve seen for all four kids now, so it creates that parallel, and also a surreal atmosphere from the composition of both images.
Jade is also speaking in the narration on this page – it’s italicized and first person instead of second, written in her register. None of the other kids have done this yet, the narrator is always between them and us. I like the implication that Jade is overriding the narrator but also the idea that the narrator is like ‘you know what, I’m taking this page off, I’m just gonna let her shout’. It’s fun, and I’m interested to see if it’ll happen more.
I am still pretty fucked up over this reveal but personally I would have done it a little differently – the gut punch of ‘He was so much easier to deal with when he was alive’ (p.920) could have been SO much more effective if it hadn’t already been obvious from their Strife that this is not a living man. Even keeping the original sequence but publishing the pages at the same time would have worked, but sitting for a day between the Strife sequence and that line meant it didn’t hit as hard for me.
I do still have a lot of questions. Jade knows Grandpa is dead but seems to still genuinely believe they’re communicating, and who’s to say they’re not? Who’s to say Jade’s powers don’t tell her exactly what Grandpa is saying or would say in this circumstance? If so, it must be a lot harder psychologically to escape his expectations. But even if Jade’s powers don’t come into it, there’s practical concerns – how long ago did Grandpa die, and does anyone besides Jade even know? It’s easy to say Jade should redecorate the house but living so remotely where mail has to be airdropped in balloons, she’s probably not physically capable of that, and can’t get other people to do it for her. Typheus is a little big to captchalogue and where else would Jade even put him?
So I guess I kind of get it? In the sense of Jade keeping the only life and routine she’s ever known, going through the same motions with a stuffed grandpa that she once did with a real one, because the barriers to doing anything different are so high? It’s really easy to adapt to a strange situation when you don’t have a point of comparison to know it’s strange, and when it happens so regularly that it becomes like autopilot.
We cut back to PM, my absolute beloved, one of my most favorite characters. They haven’t been seriously hurt by Jade’s explosive powers but their head wrappings are on fire (btw is the pointy tail of their head covering the shape of the fabric or the shape of their head??) and some of the mailboxes are tragic casualties of the event, which I may never forgive Jade for.
And then one of the metal worms rescues a mailbox! The all important mailbox with the letter to Dr David Brinner in it! Redemption arc for the metal worms who have definitely learned from their predecessors’ mistakes. This is a beautiful, angelic worm deserving of high honors, and PM knows it, giving them an equally metallic heart. If the postal service had an equivalent for a knighthood for a postal worker who goes above and beyond to preserve the integrity of the mail then PM would award that to this worm. I am thinking about PM as a dispenser of justice – someone with a really strong, inflexible moral code who is willing to impartially punish those who break it and reward those who keep it.
> PM: Bequeath the mailman’s cap to this hero.
#homestuck#reaction#gonna talk abt personal stuff in the tags not relevant to homestuck feel free 2 ignore#yesterday i dmed the finale of the dnd campaign ive been running for the past 2 years#not the first campaign ive run but Definitely the most ambitious. and it was stressful and terrifying and i was doing it scared every time.#i could not have asked for better players i loved all their character arcs sm#it was a beautiful 8 hour finale obv there are things i wish id done differently#but overall im proud of what i made but struggling with the goodbye of it all#bc circumstances have changed during these 2 years and. im probably gonna see these friends a lot less now#and this might be the last time i visit this city where i used to live and where i met these people. definitely the last for a while#not everything is forever its good to end things on a good note and this is a time to move on for lots of reasons#but wow im lucky to have known some very good people. and a beautiful city#and i am sitting by the window in the library on my last day here and watching the cold sunlight on the river and i will miss it all so muc#anyway thats why this post is late bc i was doing prep work for the final battle bc these people deserved a session as good as possible#thats all#chrono
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I have cried so much this week and have no hope for tomorrow, I am aching, piled by work and need sleep.
Huh. I guess I'm living life.
#churro rants#oh what id do for a hug#please ignore. im probably being dramatic. but i feel so depressed.#things will get better#:)
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luo binghe better than me fr i think i would've gone fucking apeshit if the person i loved with my entire soul pretty much said "fuck you" because of my race and pushed me down into literal hell for me to suffer for years
i've said it before and i'll say it again, i really don't think we give binghe enough credit. that man was on concerning levels of forgiving all the way from the start
#this would all be without xin mo eating at my brain btw#were the things he did wrong? of course. can you blame him? absolutely not.#like lets not act like at least half of us wouldnt go insane#i would be devastated#just.. place urself in his shoes ok#like he was able to still change for the better despite all the shit he went through#able to realize his wrongdoings and make up for them#thats fucking amazing and we should not discredit him ok#my ass would probably do the same thing as him tbh. or have a whole mental breakdown. or both#also same goes for bingge i wouldve done the same shit too probably. id fuck shen jiu up#again#not excusing his actions but i feel like people seem to focus on that part of him way too much when we literally see his character growth#and yeah hes still just a little unhinged but arent we all#hell some people are WAY more fucked up than binghe and they didnt even go through#i love him so much can you tell#so anyways yes if he were real i would date him hes so relatable#because then id now that he would actually change for the better and make things up and learn from his mistakes#yeah haha yes hes a red flag whatever all jokes and fun but are we just gonna ignore his development???#im not a binghe apologist. maybe.#svsss#mxtx svsss#luo binghe#luo bingmei
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rough draft
#this can get posted cause i actually really like it#ive been loving messy art lately its really nice to make stuff for the sake of getting ideas out and not have to stress over it not looking#-absolutely perfect and then being disappointed in myself after each piece#so :] take the boys tumblr#homestuck#dirk strider#dave strider#my art#dirkdave#stridercest#msi#obligatory anxiety driven reminder that if im misinterpreting the song no im not shut up (lighthearted)#uhhh queues this for like 11am tomofrow#today ig its like 1am#OKAY POSTS IT#fuck i love rambling#Spotify#also i came back for more notes cause when arent i rambling but uh ignore that theres only two of them thus rendering the vodka they are-#-spinning completely useless#the official version will have a couple other people thrown in#but like in less detail kinda fuzzy like#probably like june and terezi or something idfk#or john ig but i think june fits the tone better#OKAY ACTUALLY BYE NOW SHUT UP ME#wow i just posted cringe basically
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rewatching night at the museum for the first time in a while and wow. i missed this film.
#JEDTAVIUS#MY BELOVEDS#got into a heated argument w my brother on jedediah's name#cause no he isnt called JEREMY#thats bmc#thx robin williams for teaching me what teddy roosevelt did since my history teacher sure didnt#as much as i love this movie sadly i can ignore the plot holes#how did larry manage to learn enough things about the majority of the stuff at the museum#in a day#teach me your ways#Opinions on the animals?#the t rex is a treasure#fuck dexter tho#i dont wanna see that primate ever again in my life#btw its so funny how teddy talking to ahkmenrah is like#HA! YOU DIDNT GO OUT FOR 54 YEARS SURE AS HELL IM NOT FREEING YOU TONIGHT#meanwhile 2 nights later#idk how y'all watched the film but in the italian dub ahkmenrah has the most OUTRAGEOUS british accent#and while he probably has it even in english in italian it sounds very weird and very funny#a new thing crossed my mind this rewatch tho#wow those are civil war fighters. would have been cool to have the founding fathers too.#soooooo did anyone write a night at the museum au for hamilton#asking for a friend#and if someone is actually reading this.#Idk how much ive written but people dont you have anything better to do than to read my thoughts on this 2006 film#(thank you for reading my thoughts on this 2006 film)#lastquickthought#rebecca fangirling over sakagawea is me at convention w cosplayers#thanks for coming to the impromptu ted talk#ig???
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Oscar Avila from the Hit (Not) Series Fazbear Frights
HE HAS A PLUSHTRAP 💥💥 (Which is definitely very normal)
i drew your design for him because it is very cool,,
#IGNORE HOW BAD THE PHOTO IS I HAVE NO WIFI ON MY TABLET ATM SO. I HAD TO TAKE THIS FROM MY PHONE#also sorry for replying hours later I got a bit sidetracked 💔#probably gonna edit this was a better photo tmrw once i get wifi#i really like your oscar design ‼️#fazbear frights#out of stock fnaf#doodle#r7inyz scribbles#i love oos im actually rereading the story now#brutus answered this#funny tag#plushtrap chaser
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Joe & Cleo life is strange AU!
Joe gets time control from a haunted polaroid camera, Cleo reunites with an old friend because of her near-death situations, a storm is brewing on the horizon, and none of the original game’s plot is real here :]
Close-ups and textless version under the cut!
Also rambles are in the tags if you wanna hear art and AU thoughts. send an ask if you want!
#Hermitcraft#Hermitcraft AU#Joe Hills#ZombieCleo#hello you two#LISAU#art out the oven#au wasnt meant to be /r but i have just realised the implications of making them chloe and max lmao#Also! their outfits and roles are swapped around! because i think it fits better#feel free to fuck around w this concept if you want bcs i probably wont be#i just think joe should time travel more in AUs and that the two of them should have a really fucking awkward reunion#in my head im ignoring game plot because it was a little too fucked up to put j+c into#and also theyre in their late 30s/early 40s#this art was a struggle and a half btw. this was 12h across 2 days i think?#super rusty at art and doing low stormy lighting is hard as hell!!#so it looks awful on low brightness screens#it's not perfect but i'm pretty happy with it
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okay fine i'll read homestuck. whatever. i've cracked i can't take it anymore i need to fuck around and find out.
#🐉#james reads homestuck#btw i know some people have legitimate objections to it so im fully prepared for that#and im not going to be an idiot and just try to ignore that and bury my head in the sand#but im curious as hell and even if some of it sucks i want to understand why#its such a compelling and beloved story to so many people#and hell i want to actually understand why some of it is Bad (for lack of a better word)#and not just take the word of random internet strangers as objective truth without further investigation#because thats the opposite of using my critical thinking skills#if you think reading media with some shitty stuff in it makes you a Bad Person just by exposure well idk why youre still following me anywa#but yea heres your warning that i will become aware of homestuck if thats something you cant stand#even though the likelihood of me blogging about it is slim#and if i do ill probably like. make a sideblog so people who really dont like it can avoid it.#MAN. okay. sorry for the disclaimer im just worried people are gonna think im an idiot or something and send me condescending asks#or assume the worst about me as a person#because. internet.
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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