#as usual im probably reading way too much into things just because i have favourite character disease

[valtsv]

this part of VAL's monologue about how she was created keeps coming back to me, because while it isn't the only time that we see her being capable of empathy or sympathy, and of recognising other people as victims of the same cruelty and violence that she herself was (as we hear when she talks about the civilians killed at dutler's weald), it is the one time that she doesn't try to separate herself from them entirely, as though that will protect her from being made the same - helpless, and suffering at the whims of others. perhaps because she sees the person she was before she was hallowed as a separate entity already - the one who made the decision that damned them both - but perhaps also because they are her, or what she could have been, and she them. i can't help but wonder how many nights she spent telling herself that the doors to the cells in that substation would miraculously unlock, and they would all walk free. that the cellmate whose screams kept her awake would take to the latest hallowing brands, or at least stop being in so much pain. that her mother would come back, and her hands would be soft. that someone would apologise for what they were doing to her. to all of them. i wonder how many lies she whispered into the dark before she stopped believing them. perhaps it was when she realised that hers was the only voice left calling out into the silence.

[notedchampagne]

What makes a tlt au work for you? Do u have any favourites out there/that you’ve thought of?

its hard because it can go down to the writing! i have a huge bias for things that put focus on the characters acting awful and driving the story forward- if a story has a plot thats great, but its the difference between "gideon and harrow keep meeting up at parties and fall a little bit in love every time" and "gideons angry she lost her childhood to the cult so she attends a party with the tridentarii to shotgun adolescent experiences, and harrowhark, frustrated that gideon is pulling on her metaphorical leash, follows to stalk her". the former retains a 5+1 fic format and is more bite-size, while the latter puts more focus into their growth as characters. im not great at articulating what i like specifically, but ill put my favorite fics below:

what if nona was dogs tugs at my heart: its post-canon, slice-of-life, and has a unique concept (said in the title). i judged a book by its cover because i thought the premise seemed too silly at first but ive been made a fool and its pet clown. it feels so true to nona the way its about all the things nona loves and how she gets to explore the world through new eyes. i love the way it explores characters softening up and getting hurt through a third person pov

we have always lived in the apartment by @thatneoncrisis i keep saying this but for the love of GOD guys this au is so good it makes me cry and feel such a deep catharsis from it. it takes gideon and harrow and the ninth as a cult and explores their struggle to adapt to a modern society when noone ever gets a break (WOW ITS JUST LIKE IN REAL L-). quinn writes the sides of griddlehark i think go overlooked in fanfic often: their codependency, their tendency to lash out when theyre defensive, their mutual paranoia and different coping mechanisms, harrows psychosis and gideons bitterness, their relationships to each other as being the only other person who really understands what the other suffered through. god. i feel lightheaded.

"but SAM, i dont like angst but i want to see this writing!" read gap between a tragedy and a comedy

"SAM, i also like when gideon and harrow are horrible because theyre maladjusted teenagers! but i want more antics where the characters drive things forward over angst!" read whats eating gideon nav

you just aint receiving is one of my FAVORITE modern aus of all time (and i heavily recommend the authors other fics as well!) if you really want to see how much i love this fic the fact that my comments take up the entire phone screen probably says a lot. its hard to put it concisely: it keeps harrows air of misanthropy and cruelty but redefines it as the result of her upbringing and personal struggle to live in a university while dealing with a backpack of mental illness and frustration. it changes gideons personality as the daughter of john gaius in a way that makes sense having her grow up with johns middling parenting skills and getting everything she ever wanted (connecting it back to kirionas personality in ntn!). it brings in side characters (specially palamedes. my beautiful boy palamedes) in ways that compliment harrow and gideon but not so obviously that they only exist to be supports. they have their own lives and ideals. its a modern au that brings in the boiling politics of johns cult uprising once again in a really novel way

semi charmed kinda life by @griddlebait. jesuchristo and all his middle names this fic is GREAT for you if you want a slice of life, coming of age type modern au that explores what its like for gideon and harrow if they actually got the space to see who theyd become outside of the stifling fate tlt has for them. as far as modern aus go im usually very hesitant to read them because im afraid modernizing the characters takes features away from their core but i really love and respect the way the author treats the 69ers with care and draws distinct lines that shows me how their grow and change while keeping a line to the anchor. also they write HIDEOUS (complimentary) PINING. DISGUSTING. some of these chapters were so chock full of dyke drama that they made me nauseous and whimsical. i think once a friend said this fic felt like if gh could be reincarnated and i like that descriptor a lot

til the cows come home is another postcanon fic that made me feel sick and crybabyish about it- i would definitely recommend it if you want to explore a happier ending with griddlehark! with this and what if nona was dogs the thing i like most about them is that they mix up vulnerability with pain and fear, so it feels more lifelike that way if that makes sense. i lost my taste in fluff fics over time but when its interspersed with struggle and characters causing problems because they cant cope with themselves it feels much more earnest and raw

this became very long. im not sorry

[seangelfish]

buster bros with a younger sister.. you,, SHAKES YOU !! sobbing it was so so cute !! i love how you interpretated it and how each bro had a different relationship w/ her !! it was very heartwarming aughhuhuuhhh

so,, im back to request more yippee !! could i request ichiro dating someone ? what would their relationship be like, how would his brothers react and most importantly would they approve,,

sorry if this is too much i just love buster bros a completely normal amount,,

A/N: I'm so glad you liked it as I had so much fun writing it! And of course, I'm loving the Ichiro requests from you haha~ I am SO sorry this took so long, but I hope you will also like this one too! (´꒳`)♡

Relationship headcanons

Ichiro Yamada x reader ♡ Genres/types: Fluff, headcanons, established relationship, she/her pronouns, not proofread! ♡ Word count: 854 ♡ Synopsis: Headcanons of what Ichiro is like in a relationship and how his brothers react to it.

– Ichiro would be the best lover you could ever ask for. He's so attentive and loving that it melts your heart. He knows every little thing about you that you were sure he wouldn't remember, so it would always be a sweet surprise when he'd gift you your favourite snack or drink.

– Despite how busy he is, you're always on his mind. Whenever he thinks about you, a smile never fails to creep up on his face. He's always hoping that your day goes the way you want it to, but if it doesn't, he'll always be there to cheer you up!

– His love language would definitely be acts of service. If you want something done, he'll do it in seconds. If you can't or don't have the motivation to run your usual errands, he'll do it for you instead. If you're an anxious and shy individual, he'll be your voice. He won't even mind it if you can't speak up for yourself because he'll do it for you.

– He'll be there to stand up for you if you aren't able to. He'll even be mad at your behalf if something or someone hurts you. Because of this, the person who has done you wrong will apologise immediately.

"Ichiro, you don't need to do that, it's fine..."

"No, it's not. They can't say that to you and get away with it!"

– Therefore, a relationship with Ichiro would be an ideal one. He's dependent and reliable, and is always emotionally and physically supportive. You don't need to tell him what to do because he just knows what you'd like for him to do. But of course, he'd like for you to communicate the things you like too.

– It's comfortable and safe with Ichiro. You know you can depend on him and he enjoys taking care of you too. It's probably because of his brotherly instincts, but his love for you is a lot different than his love for his brothers. He loves you with his whole heart and he isn't afraid to show it... only after getting comfortable in the relationship though.

– When he first had a crush on you, Ichiro was extremely bashful. He couldn't help it though. You were just so amazing and pretty. His eyes would light up every time he saw you. But he tried being subtle about it. His confession was kind of subtle too, but it was cute and romantic - just like the romance novels he reads.

He had brought you to a place where you could see the stars in the skies clearly, how beautiful they sparkled from where you stood.

You were in awe of how they looked. "Wow, the night sky is so pretty from up here!" you exclaim.

"Mhmm," Ichiro agrees. "This is how I see you too."

– The two of you would definitely watch anime together. You would give him recommendations of your favourite ones and he would immediately watch them. He loves all your suggestions and always asks for more.

– In addition, you would read manga with him too - sometimes together or just separately - but when you read together, he likes it when the two of you lay on your fronts as he holds the manga for you.

– You would cook together too. It feels like you're already married considering you take care of his younger brothers as well. After all, they're kids, so you treat them with love and care, cooking them meals and eating together like a family too.

– However, when you first met his brothers, they didn't seem to like you. You knew why as their reasons were obvious. They were so possessive of Ichiro, fully believing you were going to take him away from them. It was hilariously cute, but you had to reassure them with actions that wasn't your intention.

– You find their love for Ichiro really sweet, so you try befriending them. However, since they were so hard to get, Ichiro had to tell them to be nicer to you.

– Gradually, they start warming up to you. Jiro probably warms up to you first before Saburo does. They realise how much you care about their big bro and how much you care about them too. They always feel fluffy whenever they talk to you since you're so attentive and kind.

– Therefore, when they finally do approve of the relationship, they start wanting to hang out with you too. They think of you as their older sister or even a mother with the way you act. They love having you around, so it feels kind of empty whenever you're not there. When you were gone for almost two weeks due to work, they're the ones who miss you more than Ichiro does.

– Ultimately, being in a relationship with Ichiro is warm and loving. There's never a dull day being in the Yamada household either. It becomes a second home to you where you never want to leave as it's so comforting and full of life.

– And perhaps one day, this life will become a permanent one, where you get to stay with Ichiro forever alongside his brothers too.

Intro page | Hypnosis Mic masterlist | Requests rules

[deedala]

✨WEEKLY TAG WEDNESDAY✨

thanks to @jrooc for the game this week and for tagging me + @creepkinginc @energievie @lingy910y @suzy-queued 💖

Hello beautiful kittens! 🐈‍⬛ Today’s tag game is about our wonderful fandom 😍

How did you get into the fandom? 

after falling deep into the shameless hellspiral i took to tumblr (as is my usual) to find gifs and memes and everything was so good and everyone was so wonderful i couldnt help but wedge my way into the community lmao

How long have you been here?

i started lurking september of 2022 and my first shameless post was in october of 2022 🥰

What’s the first fandom channel you found? (Youtube, Reddit, Tumblr, Insta, Twitter, FB, other?)

yeah tumblr i guess! my first instinct is always to search tumblr tags for a new thing i like 😌

what’s your favourite now? 

tumblr and discord equally, theyre both non-negotiable

Which mutual have you known the longest in the fandom?

@michellemisfit my beloved <3 ran into her in the @shamelesscreatorsnetwork discord (the first discord link i found) and we started talking and never shutted the fuck up ever again even until today lmao 🥰

Which tumblerino’s did you have your first fandom crush(es) on and want to get to know?

okay so since the first thing i seek out on a new interest is GIFS (and also shameless + text posts that shit absolutely sends me), the first people i followed and was so drawn to their immaculate vibes and gorgeous work were @gardenerian @heymacy and @sickness-health-all-that-shit biting you biting you biting you!!! 💖💖💖

First Gallavich fan fic you read (or that blew you away that you remember)

so michelle had me read redheaded step-children and it was so gorgeous and wonderful i was completely knocked on my ass by that one <3

and then i got the itch to read an AU and started with intro to quantum dating by @spoonfulstar and unless you're new here you are surely aware of how much i love that one 😂

First Fan art that blew your mind? 

i feel awful because i really cannot remember (crine) but pretty sure it was probably some gorgeous intricate @steorie painting

Fanfic trope that you were sure wasn’t for you but now you low key (or high key) love?

SPORTS AU - and now ive fully fucking lost my mind (@heymacy @too-schoolforcool know how deep it runs and i cannot even talk about it or i will throw up lmao)

What surprised you most about this fandom?

since my last significant foray into a fandom community was a pretty big fandom, there were looots of people who were just out for fucking blood. this community here on tumblr for shameless is a goddamn pillowfort, the vast majority of people are so sweet and supportive and happy to mind their own business it's such a fuckin breath of fresh air.

Moment in the show (or YT vids if you’re one of those) that you fell in hyperfixation with Gallavich?

i dont know if i can pinpoint just one moment? but probably one of the big moments early on since thats what would have kept me ravenous to keep consuming more lol

Ian or Mickey?

the fuck??? AAAAHHHHHHHHH uuhhhhh uuhmmmm omg. fuck. uh... okay...just... Mickey? no... Ian? uuhhhhmmm what was the question?

Which Gallagher or Milkovich are you? 

im gonna go with Debbie here <3

and now to tag some more folks in (in addition to everyone tagged above!!) if you want to play! if not, consider this me sending you cleansing brainwaves 🧠

@darlingian @heymrspatel @crossmydna @mybrainismelted @mmmichyyy @wehangout @metalheadmickey @gallawitchxx @thepupperino @blue-disco-lights @the-rat-wins @loftec @mickeysgaymom @rereadanon @callivich @lee-ow @palepinkgoat @gallapiech @transmickey @iansw0rld @captainjowl @howlinchickhowl @vintagelacerosette @sam-loves-seb @burninface @spookygingerr @mikhailoisbaby @themarchg1rl @whatwouldmickeydo @sleepyheadgallavich @sleepyfacetoughguy @samantitheos

💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

[montypng]

meant to send you a message last night but my brain was scrambled and i was too busy crying so i had to wait until now. i just wanted to say thank you so much for the beautiful art you made for deep end :') your enj & r design is so perfect and i love your style! there literally are no words to express how excited i was to see it (not to mention how many times i have scrolled back to look at it again in the last twelve hours. it's not an insignificant amount). i just genuinely love every detail you included, the moments you chose.... everything about it. from the bottom of my heart, thank you for the time & energy & care you have given deep end and that you put into your beautiful art :''')

thank you so much for your words, im so so glad you liked my art!!! if it has given you even a fraction of the joy i felt reading each deep end upload, then im happy :] your tags were incredibly kind as well, i took a screenshot so i could reread them...its incredible to think my work could have elicited such a reaction but hey, i have teared up reading deep end so i guess its a favour repaid >_> lengthy reply under the cut bc it became abominably long haha

i dont want to go on too much of a rant here (i will anyways it seems) but i think one of the things that struck me the most about deep end is how obvious the love that you put into writing it is. i know you've mentioned before how much you rewrote it over and over again, and i have to say in the best way possible that i could feel that reading it. every single chapter is written with such direction and clarity of purpose, it was truly a gift to be able to read something crafted with such meticulous attention to detail. i never felt that any line, hint of characterization, or plot detail was ever put there out of coincidence. cosette being a law student, too. the entirety of cosette's character and your emphasis on her agency as a person with a life that does not revolve around her brother. and somehow you kept touching on these weird little details that personally hit me hard? somehow?? grantaire reading hamlet (my favourite shakespeare !) and his opinion abt horatio (of course he likes horatio), the plot irrelevant but wholly appreciated discussion of the ending of the thing, thnks fr th mmrs and dammit janet in quick succession during karaoke, orpheus/eurydice in chapter 17 and the franklin expedition tidbit in 14, the whole art museum part....

some of my favourite lines:

“An animal in a trap will chew off its own leg to escape. You have no idea how much of my own blood I had to swallow to get out of there.” "The meeting had gone forty minutes longer than usual because for every word Enjolras said, Grantaire had to pick the bones clean, had to suck the marrow out." and shortly thereafter, "piano-wire tension", and "Less of a weapon and more of an instrument, for once. Press the key, see how he sings." "He wants to be comforted without being known. He wants to be loved without being understood. He wants to cry on a stranger’s shoulder and never see them again, never have to know their pity." <this one had my eyes wet while i was in a lecture i won't lie

and of course, the opening lines to top all opening lines:

"Enjolras’ father is buried on a Wednesday. The placement of the funeral in the middle of the week feels purposeful. Make this loss your centerfold, his mother seems to say. Build your life around it."

also — the quotes you chose to include in your summaries of each chapter were perfect every time. kudos for that!!!

all that to say: yeah, it was probably inevitable that i would be driven to draw something for deep end (i took screenshots of certain parts to draw later while reading this fic!! i almost never do that but i couldnt help myself!!!). one of those pieces of fiction that drives you to create (and push me out of art block, apparently). thank you again for sharing your work, deep end is truly something special and i cant wait to read the epilogue❤️❤️

(and if you've read all the way to the end of this monster of a reply: yes, you thought right...! i did draw a little mouse on the cover of grantaire's book, hes reading the tale of despereaux :] reading your grantaire is what finally pushed me to make a character playlist for him....and r smoking in the last drawing even if it isnt a scene in deep end is a reference to your other fic love is in the air, i just gotta figure out a window to break out. you know, for the connoisseurs. ;])

[neteyamkink]

I read your Wattpad Series and I’m loving it so far and I was going crazy over chapter 8😫

Anyways this is my first time requesting something so I have no idea how this works or what to say😭but I’m wondering if you can make a nsfw alphabet of neteyam?

THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE FEEDBACK!! and ofc i can do that for you <3 ALSO HELLO?? MY FIRST REQUEST IM SO EXCITED

i’m writing this half asleep at 3am and not proofreading plz ignore any mistakes LMFAO

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

neteyam would make sure you’re all cleaned up and everything before he lets you fall asleep. But after all of that, he’ll hold you and brush the hair out of your face and give you sweet kisses until you are asleep. <3

also lots of praise!! “You did so good for me”

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

like I’ve said NETEYAM IS A BOOB MAN!! he will focus on your boobs almost the whole time. licking sucking touching literally anything. he loves em and he holds them any chance he gets even out of a sexual context.

I think his favorite body part of his are his hands! He loves the way he can make you feel just with a finger or two. <3

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically…)

he would only cum after you have and he definitely lovessss to cum on your boobs

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

when you aren’t there to satisfy him best believe he’s thinking of you. He probably can’t even count the number of times he’s been in his bed and night trying to fall asleep and one thought leads to another and suddenly he’s stroking his cock thinking about you and your pretty little lips (both of em)

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

he has absolutely 0 experience so you guys kind of just figure out things together. however, he does somewhat know what he’s doing from overhearing the human scientist talk about sex.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying.)

ima have to go with good ol missionary or just you riding him. he HAS to see your face. he just can’t go without it. he thinks the expressions that you make are so cute.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

it’s definitely a mix it depends on what the mood is tbh. If something funny happens he’ll laugh it out with you and he loves talking to you during sex. but if he’s “punishing” you or just going rougher than usual he’s more serious.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

correct me if I’m wrong I don’t think na’vi even grow body hair??? like they don’t even have armpit hair or like beards or mustaches so I’m going to say he has none

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

OH MY GODDD HE IS SUCH A LOVER BOY. like literally he will call it “making love” instead of sex or fucking. he is so in love so almost every time you guys have sex it’s so personal and so affectionate. he’ll whisper sweet things to you and kiss you as much as he can.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

like I said this boy is always horny for you so he will jack off just to the thought of you wayyy too much. he’s just so obsessed <3

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

ngl I feel like he is somewhat vanilla?? idk maybe my mind will change. but he definitely has a praise kink, he loves when you praise him and he loves praising you.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

usually in private places unless he’s in a lil silly goofy mood. even though it’s kind of boring he loves fucking you in your bed nothing can top it. The second best is definitely the beach for him <33

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

moans moans moans!!! he lovessssss hearing you moan like it turns him on so much it’s insane. He loves when you praise him and he definitely has a thing for seeing a lil bit of tears just because you’re so fucked out and happy you can’t control your emotions.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

he would never hit you. even if you asked for it he just couldn’t bring himself to hurt you. he’s so sweet <3

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

he is insanely good at giving head. he loves giving more than reviving for sureee. he loves to hear you moan and watch you squirm it’s a hugeeee turn-on. He likes receiving too just a little less, he’ll never turn down head though. he loves the way your lips wrap around his cock, and the look you give him through your eyelashes as tears start to fill your water line. ugh he's in love

P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

this one really depends on the mood but I’d say he’s a very passionate guy and loves to take his time and explore every inch of your body and savour every single second of pleasure

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

I think he would rather have proper sex so he can really take his time with you. HOWEVER!! if he is super needy and you guys are in a rush he will definitely do a lil quickie with you.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

if you ask him to do something he will gladly do it he is always welcome to try new things with you and will never make you uncomfortable by asking to try anything. When it comes to risky sex like people seeing you I don’t think he would like it a whole lot just because he doesn’t think anyone should see you in that sort of state but him and he just wants you all to himself <33

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

he will go for however long you want to. even if he is all fucked out but you still want to keep going he’ll sit back and let you ride him. He will never stop before you cum though like literally he will make sure you finish before him.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

if we’re talking about a modern au he would use toys on you if you wanted to. probably just a vibrator or something of that nature.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

he lovessss teasing. he will egg you on alllllll day just so when the time is right he can fuck you dumb with all of that tension built up.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

I feel like he’d be kind of embarrassed to moan at first, but when you tell him it’s okay and to let it out he’d completely let loose. he wouldn’t be very loud but he would definitely groan/moan in your ear and whisper a lot of sweet stuff to you <3

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

he lovessss talking to you during sex. like he will talk you through your whole climax. HE LOVES IT. and sometimes if you’re human he’ll throw in a little na’vi, and if you are a na’vi he’ll throw in a little English.

 X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants)

It’s definitely pale blue and I think his tip is a little bit darker. I’ll give him at LEAST 10 inches maybe 12 if I’m pushing it. The girth is pretty regular not too skinny or too thick. he fits in you perfectly <3

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

I’d say it’s pretty high. he fucks you any chance he gets, and is always needy for you.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

As I said, he would wait for you to fall asleep before he does so it really just depends on how long it takes you to fall asleep. If you don’t fall asleep he’ll ask you if you’re okay with him sleeping. Of course, you say yes every time but he doesn’t want you to feel alone <3

[misspermitted]

A lot of talk about infodumping as a love language on my feed recently and having the ‘tism and this blog I naturally want to contribute with my experience.

A lot of people are saying they infodump as a way to share their joy with others, which isn’t really why I do it. But when I think about how I feel when my ND friends infodump on me, I do share their joy. So maybe that is where the ND urge to infodump comes from, and I’ve just been conditioned for so long that infodumping is bad and no one enjoys it, that I can’t view it as sharing joy.

Why I Infodump

For me infodumping is a love language primarily because when I do it I feel safe with someone. I’ve been continuously shamed into thinking my passion is an inconvenience of embarrassing, and so I become very quiet in most social situations. When I infodump it means I feel like the person won’t judge me.

Usually the first time I infodump on someone it’s a conscious choice, and I only do it a little to test the waters. If the person immediately shames me or tries to shut me up, I put it in my head to never unmask around them and usually don’t put a lot of effort into the acquaintance from there on out.

(I know there has also been a lot of talk about NT and ND people trying to bridge communication gaps, and my immediate detachment from people who won’t engage with infodumping is probably not healthy for that. At the same time, while I respect people’s efforts to have NT friends and such, that’s their choice, not mine. Friendships are where I broaden my opinions and empathy in a safe and happy space, not where I combat ableism and prejudice. I don’t have the mental stability for that atm.)

How I Feel When ND Friends Infodump On Me

With my ND friends, I actively try to encourage them to infodump. My personal reason for this is because I really enjoy it, I feed off other peoples excitement (because my ADHD brain cannot produce its own dopamine apparently) so I find it just as spoon-rejuvenating as my own special interests. I also just love learning new things.

However, on the friendship side of things, I really like knowing someone is comfortable enough with me to share their interests. It makes me so mad when my ND friends apologise for infodumping because you shouldn’t have to apologise for being you! Im not mad at them, I’m mad that people make us feel embarrassed about who we are and being excited. Sometimes listening to my ND friends infodump is when I mask the most tbh. I try to communicate to them clearly through questions and facial expressions that I am also excited about their interest, when I don’t usually ask questions and have resting autism face.

I also always feel so much more deeply connected with a friend knowing about their interests and what makes them happy or angry than things like their childhood school or favourite colour. I also find sometimes with ND friends we infodump all our trauma on each other straight away, which means I know way way too much about them already haha

(I also wanna say that infodumping trauma is a bit different for me than when someone trauma dumps. For me the main difference between the two is that trauma dumping becomes something you have to emotionally support the person through, whereas infodumping trauma is the person telling you everything they’ve figured out about themselves and how they understand it. Trauma dumping is very draining for me, it feels like I’m holding all the trauma afterwards and it’s usually very feelings and emotions heavy. Infodumping trauma is like “this is everything I’ve read about it what I experienced and this is how I’m struggling to intellectualise it.” And then usually I respond with a similar experience I had and things I read and this goes on for hours.)

[achubbydumpling]

I love your writing, especially when it comes to fat Bucky and/or Steve!!

What are some of your favorite weight gain tropes with them? And what's the biggest you like to see them? Bc I LOVE when they get to the point of mobility struggles and talking seriously about accommodating for immobility 🥵 so any thoughts on that, feel free to share 👀👀👀

hi! thank you so much, as slow as I am at answering them I really really really love getting asks like this (I mean who doesn't love compliments haha)

speaking of (im)mobility I gotta link two posts, one by me and one by @mylevisdontfitanymore with lots of fics about immobility:

https://www.tumblr.com/achubbydumpling/708676381409771520/whats-your-opinion-on-immobilitynearly-immobile

https://www.tumblr.com/mylevisdontfitanymore/713904301783810048/do-you-have-any-works-or-links-to-other-works-that

Now, to your questions:

What are some of your favorite weight gain tropes with them?

what isn't a favourite of mine? 😂 hm if I had to narrow it down to three probably

weight gain as a metaphor for healing from past trauma

old men finally getting to live the life of their kinkiest dreams

accidental kink discovery

(are those even weight gain tropes? 🤔)

and I usually prefer Bucky to gain (more) weight, I don't really have an explanation for this, it's just what I prefer (feel free to psychoanalyse that 😂)

And what's the biggest you like to see them?

any size at all really, fat, overweight, underweight, morbidly obese, the brain rot is in the stucky 😌😂

no I mean I don't mind as long as it's somewhat "realistic", i.e. a person of that weight has lived on earth before, idk I'm just not really into the thousands of pounds weights? I feel like at some point you can't really escalate anymore in terms of writing the experience, how does 3000lbs feel different from 1000lbs? it can be done, I've read some excellent stories before

but generally I'd say anything below 1000lbs is like a soft limit for me while reading and especially when I'm writing the story

that being said hnnng mobility struggles 🥵🥵🥵

Bc I LOVE when they get to the point of mobility struggles and talking seriously about accommodating for immobility 🥵 so any thoughts on that, feel free to share 👀👀👀

is there anything better than constantly being out of breath, being painfully aware of how fat and out of shape they are when they're just walking to the kitchen or when they're just too big to fit somewhere

I love it when immobility is constantly on the horizon, threatening to take over but for right now they can still get around, right now it's exhausting and annoying and so so so hot just to do the simplest things because of their weight and their size.

and then with Bucky and Steve I think mobility aids and accomodations would come relatively late into the process, not because Bucky doesn't want them, but because he 1) has the/a supersoldier serum so that eases some of the intense discomfort and pain and mostly reduces it to an annoyance or some things just take him longer and 2) he has a super soldier around to help out

I think some accomodations would creep in without them even noticing, like

when Bucky first moves into Steve's apartment it's still a bachelor pad, mostly Steve's decor and some furnishings SHIELD put in for Steve, one of the things they replace is the low futon style bed

they aren't even really thinking about accomodating Bucky's weight yet, but they both gravitate towards a higher bed, maybe a really nice box-spring bed?

(I honestly don't know much about beds 😅 but I like the ones that go all the way to the bottom and don't have feet or short ones because I feel like those would be less likely to break due to weight or.. shenanigans)

something that's around hip-height, that makes it easier for Bucky to get up since he doesn't have to heave himself up from such a low position

also something with a high weight limit just because hey, they're big guys even when they aren't actively gaining and getting heavier and when they're having fun in bed (feeding, stuffing, sex (in that or any order haha)) they don't want to have to worry about accidentally breaking anything

heavy-duty chairs obviously no arm rests, as hot as it is to try and squeeze his fat ass in, Bucky doesn't need that at every meal, I feel like they'd have a huge sofa, not just a three seater or something but the full thing with like ottomans and pull-out sections

heavy duty everything really though I feel like SHIELD would've added that just because they know Captain America has super strength and would probably appreciate some sturdy furniture in his apartment, someone had to furnish that apartment for Steve, I can't imagine him thawing out of the ice and heading straight to bed, bath and beyond 😂

that's furniture, what about behavioural accomodations?

Steve definitely gets Bucky whatever he asks for, no need to get up when Steve is already on his way, I love the headcanon that the serum gave Steve a serious energy boost, like he can barely sit still and even if he does his thoughts are racing instead, so yeah most of the time he's puttering around the apartment anyway and he's more than happy to get Bucky whatever he wants

whenever they go out they're quick to order an uber or use public transport, they don't walk much when they're together, Steve enjoys running, even when he gains weight I think it's a good outlet for his pent up energy, and if they want to enjoy the city, they'd rather sit in a café or on a shaded bench in a park, than walking around aimlessly just for the sake of it

(this is like 80 million head canons stacked on top of each other 😂)

Bucky with a cane enough said, actually not enough said

his joints, bones, muscles, tendons are probably a mess of scar tissue after 70 years of being the winter soldier, so I 100% support the headcanon that he struggles with chronic pain from that

his prosthesis looks heavy af which could lead to some one-sided overuse and when he takes it off, he's leaning to the other side, a cane could help with balance and

imagine he's so heavy and his thighs are so thick that he has a heavy waddle that makes him sway side to side and the cane helps him stabilize his body during every step he takes 😩😩😩

it's a clichée at this point but riding a mobility scooter while buying a shitton of food, Bucky is already pretty big at this point, like "worrying about the weight limit on those scooters"-big, even with the arm rests pushed up Bucky is squeezed in, he's definitely wider than the seat and you can see his hips and thighs hanging over the seat of the scooter from the back (Steve loves letting Bucky lead the way just to get a view of that backside 😏😂)

this is also the point where they're like "ok, we gotta seriously talk about mobility aids now" I imagine Bucky's been using the cane at least since he was below 300lbs (ooh braces too maybe to support his knee?) and the first time he used the mobility scooter was a novelty and a "I wanna feel fat"-moment, you know what I mean?

but then Bucky notices how much less exhausted he is after grocery shopping, usually he takes a short nap after and he used to think it was just mostly because of all the lights and sounds and people, just a sensory thing, but now it's like "no, carrying around all this weight is definitly a big part of it"

idk if they'd go straight for a personal mobility scooter, I feel like Bucky would maybe add a walking frame first? not a lot of moving parts and it's similar to his cane, so there's some familiarity there, it's helpful around the house but outside it's usually more of an annoyance because people won't move out of his way and the uneven pavements make it feel less stable than inside

next he might start thinking about a wheelchair, the jump to a mobility scooter feels huge, something manual feels easier to think about, he'd still have to push himself

but after trying it out Bucky has to admit that it takes a lot of strength and endurance to push himself around and he doesn't want Steve to constantly be pushing him, not because he thinks Steve wouldn't want to do it but because he also wants to look at Steve's face while they're out and about and just chatting about everything and nothing, and he'd give up a lot of freedom if he went with a manual wheelchair right now

so a mobility scooter it is

it takes Bucky another few months to actually decide, the reason it feels like such a huge step is partially because of what other people will think, Bucky has a slight exibitionist streak, but getting around in a mobility scooter will draw even more attention than he already gets

it's almost a self-proclaimed, "I'm too fat to walk", which isn't true, he can and does still walk around fine, maybe not that far or that often, but he can still do it and hell, he gets off to the thought, Steve gets off on it too, it's not like what people assume is going to be wrong

but this big investment is almost like a final nail in the coffin of his mobility, is it giving up or giving in? finally permission to stop worrying, to stop scoping restaurants and cafés for chairs that'll hold him, to start demanding people make space for him instead of jostling his walking frame or bumping into his cane

in the end Bucky doesn't regret his decision, even for a second, he gets to visit his favourite places in the city without pain, without wheezing from exhaustion, without feeling embarassed by how much space he takes up (as delicious as that shame could sometimes be when Steve talks about those moments afterwards in the bedroom)

and maybe they finally cycle back around to replacing their current bed, not because it's broken but because they're dangerously quickly approaching that heavy weight limit and maybe a bariatric bed is the next step in Bucky's journey

[darkfictionjude]

hii i just wanted to tell u how much i love wwc, its probably my favourite if i’ve played! there’s simply too many things i love about it to highlight so i’ll stick with one in particular ajjdjd which is the variety of options for the healthy and harmful coping mechanisms as someone who has both x0 especially the singing one because i do that!! in terms of that, do you think any of the ro’s would ever ask crownie to sing fly me to the moon to them? i assume it’s a quirk they’d get used to over time, at least nia has and seems to find it endearing

much love to you and your work!! i hope you enjoy writing it as much as i love playing it, im soo grateful you’ve decided to share ur work with us!

You see I don’t get much feedback on the coping mechanism so I’m happy you say you like it! Yeah I’ve found people have usually more than one way of coping with things so I divided it up into unhealthy and healthy options

For fly to the moon I kind of created a little backstory, I like to think Crowny adopted that song because they heard it while at Nia’s house once

I don’t think they would ask because it’s not really a thing they sing more like hum and how often do we ask people who are humming to sing to us? Crowny would likely say no too 💀

My enjoyment does differ from reading it (I actually have never truly played the game haha) but I do like when I get into a very emotionally immersive scene like right now I’m writing a really dramatic scene for episode 3 (it’s raining for dramatic effect) and it’s very fun

[soup-du-silence]

YES TUMBLR, I KNOW YEO TAGGED ME, IM AWARE, YOU DONT HAVE TO SEND ME A PUSH NOTIFICATION EVERY HOUR, I WAS AT WORK!!!!

Taico tagged me too apparently but I didnt get a notif for that??? ok

Last Song: The DJ is Cryng for Help. Excited to be the oldest bitch at the AJR concert this summer.........again lol. Love/hate relationship with the new album but they put on a good show

Favourite Colour: red! I need to re-dye the red in my hair I am considering this a reminder.

Currently watching: We've been on youtube lockdown pretty much ever since Vanguard debuted, but with the boys in japan for holofes/their upcoming 3D debuts, their schedules have been inconsistent. Alisa's a very hardcore Betellion meaning if Bettel's streaming she has him playing on at least two screens simultaneously and is active in chat, and Im a very normal Hakkito meaning I usually get through like 65% of Hakka's streams, eventually, if I have time. We'll throw on Shinri or Altare if we're caught up or there's nothing else happening. I made the mistake of introducing Alisa to HBomberguy and she's been filling the gaps with her 500th rewatch of the Plagiarism or Pathologic vids while the stars are busy. But also we're watching Dungeon Meshi! Izutsumi soon!!!!!

At this precise moment in time Alisa's watching the new JapanEat upload. (We love this guy)

Sweet/Savoury/Spicy: Spicyyyyyyy I love spicy Im a terrible cook and i only know how to season with cayenne. i dont know when exactly i started equating "flavor" with "pain" but it is what it is. I'm kind of reaching the stage in my life where I need to be more careful about what I put in my gut because sometimes just too much pepperoni will fuck me up for 24 hours but also what if I ignored my aging body and didn't do that?

Relationship status: I've been with Alisa for 15 years! We met in the Meet the Robinsons fandom on livejournal/deviant art

Current Obsession: Four years late to the party Twisted Wonderland finally got its hooks into me! (Add me on EN: ZyEdsarR) I'm very mentally unwell about Scarabia. None of the fanfic on AO3 is scratching the itch so I'm spending too much money importing doujin. It's great but it takes a month to get like eight books and oops one of them is just a straight up fanfic and im sure its banger but I can't google translate my way through 60 pages of japanese text, one of them is solid porn which, yknow, cool, but it was probably something I was in the mood for when I placed the order a month ago and now I want story, and I have to sit down at my desk with good light to translate with my phone camera when what i CRAVE is to lie in bed on my side reading fic on my phone until 2 am. I'm dying, squirtle. (Anyone got good fic recs? there is WAY too much fic for pickings to be as slim as I feel like they are)

Last thing I googled:

none of these recipes look like the amazing shit they gave us at Falafel King so wish me luck

[euclydya]

oh this is a good ask game :3!! 13: what’s something that made you smile today? 33: what’s your fave pastry? 59: what’s your favorite myth? 60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? 💌

(also, i don't need to go on anon yall would probably know it was me jkjgkj i followed yall for de skills stuff originally, but!! yall are my friends and im happy to stick with yall as yall go through different fandoms, yay yippee!! <33 <22)

TBH. MY FELLOW STARMATES. WE DIDN'T DO MUCH TODAY AND SPENT MOST OUR TIME IN THE HEADSPACE & LETTING THE BODY AUTOPILOT. IDK TODAY WILL SAID SOME FUNNY SHIT AND ANNOYED STAN AND FORD WAS BEING CUTE AS PER USUAL AND WE JUST KINDA HAD A FUN CHILL DAY FOR ONCE!

HMMMMMB. OK GOOGLE WHAT COUNTS AS A PASTRY auaisjdjdnsd WE LIKE DONUTS! THOSE ARE PROBABLY OUR FAVOURITE. WE DON'T EAT MUCH PASTRIES TBH. OUR FAVOURITE DONUT FLAVOUR IS GLAZE COVERED IN CHOCOLATE

I DON'T THINK WE HAVE ONE TBH! WE ARE FOND OF THE PHOENIX IF THAT COUNTS THOUGH DUE TO OUR CORE; THEIR DAEMON IS A PHOENIX! THEY'RE HEAVILY ASSOCIATED WITH FIRE AND REBIRTH TOO! EVERY TIME THEY FRONT THEY'RE DIFFERENT YET THE SAME, IT'S NEAT.

WE AREN'T THE BIGGEST FAN OF POETRY AND WE DON'T GO OUT OF OUR WAY TO READ MUCH POEMS BUT OUR FAVOURITE POEM OF ALL TIME WILL ALWAYS BE STOPPING BY WOODS ON A SNOWY EVENING BY ROBERT FROST. FUN FACT! IT BECAME OUR FAVOURITE POEM BECAUSE OF A GAME CALLED TRANSFERENCE. IT'S A NICE LIL HORROR GAME ABOUT A FAMILY WHO GETS SUPER FUCKED UP BY THE DAD'S SCIENCE EXPERIMENT :) I THINK WE FOUND THIS GAME DURING A PSYCHOSIS YEARS AGO AND IT WAS AROUND HALLOWEEN AND SOMETHING ABOUT IT JUST *CLICKED* IN OUR BRAIN. ANYWAYS THE POEM APPEARS IN THE GAME AND IT JUST LATCHED ITSELF INTO OUR BRAIN AND NOW IT'S SUPER IMPORTANT TO US!

---

GOD YEAH. WE SHOULD DRAW MORE SKILLS STUFF BUT ALAS IT'S HARD FOR US TO DRAW SHIT IF WE DON'T HAVE INTROJECTS FROM SAID THING ACTIVE fhdjsjdjfjdkskf RIP TO DRAWING DOODLE PAGES OF ALL THE SKILLS THAT PROJECT WILL PROBABLY NEVER BE FINISHED LMAO

-BILL

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

hi mac!!!! mentally i am sitting with u on the couch watchin youtube videos w u. i hope ur day was good :3 i had work 2day. did not stop me writing ghostknife!!! i wrote 2k more words in my tumblr drafts over my seven hour shift. im at 8.5k words total now. get my ass out the kitchen im cookin too hard!!!!! THAT ASIDE mac can u gimme some nhw thoughts. i wanna hear about nhw mark winters. tell me abt ur favourite gay depressed blond man!!!!!!!! i wanna hear abt him and what the winters family torment nexus is like in nhw!!!!!! holding out a microphone 2 u the floor is yours 🎤

OKAY . HI. I LOVE TORTURING THAT BLONDE MAN. im going to direct you to the mark winters essay just in case you havent read that one yet because its got context for a lot of what im gonna talk about hehe (beware for worm spoilers, ill make this answer easy 2 understand without context i promise) under the cut bc i tend to ramble about him. oops

god . okay. basis of the entire nhw mark winters character is that he is the most unlucky man in the entire world. like. literally. hes been targeted that way. universe's favorite punching bag. i could make a joke here about being god and such but ill save that for my dnd campaign.

literally. so much bad shit happens to him. and then keeps happening to him. and keeps happening. and he has to be so fucking. emotionally repressed and logical and analytic and focused or else he will go crazy. mark is one of those capes that got powers artificially (overlord forced them on him- parallel to forced experimentation in canon) but the dramatic irony of it all is that even if mark would have gotten his powers naturally through a trigger event... with the way worm powers work he probably wouldve ended up with the same powers anyway. man is a striker/tinker, which comes from "facing an immediate, in-your-face threat, usually a singular object or individual" (indirect danger from simurgh, immediate danger from ashe in his very unstable breaker form immediately after killing his mom) and "solutionless problems over long periods of time, culminating in a crisis moment" (faking his and ashe's deaths in order to escape the quarantine process of simurgh survivors, having to be on the run from any sort of scrutiny for nearly TEN YEARS, eventually resulting in being offered a job working for overlord (a notoriously cruel crime lord)) . i have a lot of feelings about that. mark goes through all of this and never has a trigger event, he gets through it all with his humanity mostly intact. and then he ends up getting powers anyway because hes forced into a corner by a fucking alligator man.

ANYWAYYYYY. the fic im writing rn is from tide's pov and its immediatly after overlords death, where tide finds mark (and a bunch of other people) unconscious in tubes after going through biological experimentation and getting. animal features. this is how mark gets the lizard stuff in this au. anyway since the fic is from tide's pov i want to take a second to talk about what it would be like from marks pov. mark disobeyed one of overlords orders because it would have meant fighting the wards (who ashe . recently joined as part of the team) . overlord does not take this well and punishes him by using him for unethical human experiments. so between that moment and overlords death, mark had been subjected to over a week of near-constant testing and surgery and he was probably awake for a lot of it and. thatll fuck a guy up!!!!! pretty fucking severely!!!!! but in the grand scheme of things a week isnt that much time. which is why his transformation is only minimal and he can still pretty much pass as human with some disguising (some of the other subjects were. not so lucky).

mark was unconscious for the entire overlord fight, so he has no idea what happens. because he was unmasked, the heroes dont recognize him as a villain so instead of going to jail he gets taken to a hospital with all of the other subjects and is basically just treated as a civilian victim. but because nobody knows who he is or his relation to ashe/auxiliary.... nobody. tells him about what happened to overlord. the wards arent as closely involved with mark in this au (and honestly they dont really like him enough to care, they really just know him as "ashe's shitty dad" and thats about it). um. well. the only person who knows his identity and knows his relation is. tide.

working for a supervillain and constantly surviving out of the public's eye for fear that someone might discover your past doesnt leave a lot of room for friends, and his only living family is currently being turned into a puppet by another supervillain (not that he knows this yet) so the only person who really visits him is tide. theyre not friends, theyre not anything to each other, really, but . they KNOW each other. they UNDERSTAND each other in a way that. nobody else in the world would. go read roswells nhw tidalwave post its everything to me . anyway im getting distracted. like i said, over a week of constant unethical experiments and body horror will fuck a guy up. three of his base biological senses/instincts have been SEVERELY messed with (eyesight is fundamentally changed by the heat sense, he cant really thermoregulate well anymore, his balance is completely thrown off by the Addition Of A New Limb) and so that makes it. really hard for him to recover into some sense of lucidity. the next handful of days after he ends up in the hospital are a complete blur of consciousness, any time he opens his eyes hes totally disoriented, hes getting these awful migraines from the strain, he cant control his body heat and it seems like hes always too cold, the scales are fucking itchy, etc etc etc. hes bedridden most of the time because he cant even stand up on his own without support bc he has to get used to the weight of a tail. for those days where he's basically stuck in bed, stuck in his room, etc. he is. bored out of his mind, hes angry, hes scared (ohhh god hes in a hospital did someone do a background check do they know who he is. he hasnt been to a real doctor in over ten years), he doesnt know how much time has passed.

tide happens to visit the first day mark is feeling lucid enough to ask about ashe. this is like. a week or so into his recovery. he overheard one of the staff talking about the date and it made him like. snap awake because he realized hes been away from home and had no way to contact ashe in like. half a month. he cant ask any of the hospital staff about what happened to his son because thats a surefire way of getting a billion questions about his identity. so when tide shows up its immediately like "where is he is someone taking care of him i hate you heroes and everything you stand for but i know hes part of that team now please tell me theyre keeping him safe" and. tide is really really good at keeping a straight face but he just has this Look in his eyes and mark Knows in that moment that every single one of his nighmares is coming true. he tries to leave, tide has to catch him because he still cant walk and hes behaving like a fucking wild animal, hes biting and clawing and just in this rage because why didnt anyone tell me sooner i couldve done something i couldve protected him ("mark, you were basically in a coma" "i dont care") . nobody knows what actually happened to ashe yet. he killed overlord and then just. went missing. nobody saw him leave. they have no lead whatsoever on where he could be (yet) and it drives mark CRAZY dude like. all mark winters knows is grief and rage. eventually the wards are given that hint about where to find him and see him with the trickster and now THEY know, but. again, they dont.. know mark as well. they dont have any reason to go tell him right away. i havent decided yet whether it would be more painful for tide to break this news to him too or if the first time mark sees his son again is . on tv unmasked using his powers in some gaudy outfit he knows ashe would never choose to wear with his hair pulled back out of his face in some intricate braid and. why are his eyes orange . what the fuck happened to him. his wholeeeeee. entire world entire existence just comes crashing down around him .

mark winters universe's most hated man

[cpunkwitch]

answering my own questions

[pt: answering my own questions]

dont really get sent anything and not many people sent in the questions when the games were posted and reblogged, and i wanted to talk about stuff, so here we are.

this might end up being a multiple part post series?

ask game one (link)

(if comfortable) tell us about your condition? as much info as youre comfy with sharing.

i have a defect in the base of my spine, since i was born its caused me chronic pain all throughout my development and in recent years its only gotten worse, twisting my spine, headaches, jaw issues etc. i've also got highly suspected rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia and ive been diagnosed with a pretty bad case of anemia so bad that everytime a doctor looks at my results after bloodwork they give me a pained look and say "heyy...did you know your iron is low? like...really really low?". that and a hand full of other things, vitamin deficiencies, etc. i dont mind talking more about this

2. do you know about the spoon theory? if yes, what do you think of it?

i'll be honest, the majority of my knowledge of spoon theory off the top of my head is that "drawer with limited supply of spoons" is the disabled way of saying i only have so much motivation and energy (phys, as "battery" usually refers to social and emotional) in me. i've read up on it ages ago but would not be able to put into better words what i still remember about spoon theory (esp since we had a different host back then), i like that its just so much quicker and easier to convey my amount of ability to do things for the day by saying whether or not i have the spoons for it.

i do like to joke that my drawer is always stocked with knives and forks for the ablests, but sometimes that requires spoons to handle too. /silly

3. do you have mobility aids? if yes, which ones? if no, do you want any in the future?

i've mention how i really wish i could have a wheelchair if i were in a different situation, i dont know if i'll ever get one and i almost cried when my brother responded to my joke of "would you make on for me?" with an "i would if i could", i really would like a wheelchair of some kind in the future if the world were more accessible and i were in a safer place. right now though, i've just got my cane that still needs repainting. i guess my moms back brace counts too, i take it with me to work sometimes.

4. how did you find out about cripplepunk? what drew you to the community and movement?

i dont exactly remember but i've known about it for years. i (prev host) might have come across it looking up different punk aesthetics, though im not completely sure why it showed up in a punk aesthetic list, possibly because its punk and people misinterpreted it? my first glimpse was seeing patches on jackets, spiked customized aids, cripples/phys disabled people in your classic punk attire (piercings, dyed spiked mohawks, ripped jeans and fingerless gloves) and i loved it. im a sucker for self expression through appearance and customizing things and then when i found out it was a whole community for support and centered around being physically disabled in general and slowly came to terms with my own disabled body and started accepting myself, i kinda fell in love with cripplepunk in the "this feels like home" sense.

i could probably ramble way more but i'll stop there.

5. if you deal with any kind of pain, what's your method of pain management?

i use hot packs, ice packs, voltaren cream, sometimes i take a cbd gummy, i do little stretches when i remember them, i take walks and hot baths/showers, im trying to go back to the chiropractor and my favourite instructors in rehab (theyre trans friendly and complimented my cane when i first came in with it i love them so much), and i take whatever meds i can, normally anti-inflammatory like ibuprofen but because i cant swallow pills i either take liquid (yeah, childs liquid meds works, the couple hours of mild relief is still worth it) or powdered tylenol or something. the hot/cold stuff depends on the pain and where on my body the pain is.

6. do you stand or sit in the shower or do you prefer baths/find bathing easier rather than showers?

i take baths for my muscles and during the damn monthly ouch in order to relax my body. i take showers just for my shoulders and when im feeling icky and wanna rinse off or something, i take showers on a "regular" basis and i normally stand because the only way i sit is if im crouched in the tub and if i do that i get extra dizzy standing up to get out when i turn the water off. thankfully im no longer near passing out when i take a shower but i still have to sit on the floor matt after because my legs demand rest. i gotta be careful with hot water cuz not only will it make me overheat quickly (i will not realize if in standing in blood-boiling hot water and turning myself into a cooked lobster until after im out) but it can also cause me to literally fall asleep in the bath which can go wrong.

7. do you have a sort of comfort item or safety blanket that helps you feel better, especially on the worst days?

a couple things. a few of them are stuffies/plushies, or music, games or books to help me keep my mind off it i suppose.

8. name 3 things you hate about hospitals/doctors/nurses/the medical system

a) a lot of them refuse to take people seriously or actually listen. sure maybe theyre tired or heard the same shtick before and wanna make sure this person isnt just a drug user trying to pity their way into getting more, but even then all matters a patient presents them with should still be taken seriously and never brushed off or mocked.

b) the fact that the er, the place you take a ticket and wait, is called the Emergency Room, when its normally scheduled appointments and people taken in by the ambulance that are top priority. sure its called the er because most visits through the er are rushed "emergency" last minute visits, people going there because they couldnt schedule an appointment and needed to see someone on that day, but still it feels wrong to call it the emergency room when its really just a waiting room and regardless of the visit they arent actually treated as emergencies. the whole system of just going to see a doctor feels messed up and most of the time you end up just going to see a nurse, get a check up and leave when they tell you what they got after a talk and examination or they schedule to see you again when a doctor is available. because of this i tend to prefer walk in clinics.

c) the fact that they charge to damn much, no matter if youre insured, it still charges so much. no matter what they do. and yeah, healthcare in canada is free to an extent if youre insured but a lot of times they charge more than your insurance can cover and not everyone can get/has insurance. not to mention the medical debt so many people have in america. i get that staff and hospitals need pay and funding but the government should have that covered and not have the patients charged so much for getting help. i almost got charged over 3k just for my short visit to the ward because there was an issue with my insurance and thats a whole angry story for another time.

9. whats an accessibility tool you wish was more accessible/that you had access to?

one of them is aac, the one i have on my phone i have to disconnect my phone to and has a limited amount of phrases i can pick from. id like it better if the app or just aac programs in general when directly to your device speaker by default, had more options for more ease conversing and none of them were behind a damn pay wall, in-app purchase or otherwise. i rarely use it for several reasons but i'd love if i could use it more with less limitations.

also wheelchair ramps. i dont have a wheelchair ramp but i wish people stopped walking on them when theyre clearly able-bodied, i wished my parents taught me and my siblings what the ramps were for and not to run up and down them as well as other parents to their kids because those things are supposed to be clear for a wheelchair user. i also think the corners should be rounded for ease of turning and that wheelchair accessible paths in general should be firm to the ground (not a wimpy matt on the sand that flips over and gets buried on the beach unmaintained), maintained and cleaned regularly, not have any gaps (ive seen so many of the small ones installed in doorways that have a height gap above the ground which causes trouble getting the wheelchair on the ramp let alone through the damn door) and not have railings made of metal if theyre outside (they can often reflect light into peoples eyes and get too hot to touch in the sun both of which are not good issues to have no matter how small they seem.)

those are at least the first to come to mind.

10. whats the worst accessability cockblock you've seen ableds do/make?

theres quite a few i've seen but atm nothing significant comes to mind other than overpricing mobility aids or placing paywalls in front of aids in general.

however there was the few times in more than one school i went to you had to go to the office, provide a 'valid' reason and ask them for a key to the elevator, otherwise they make you take the stairs. i know they do it because they dont want able-bodied kids messing with it n shit but its stupid, it should be accessible to everyone regardless. thank fuck both collages ive been to so far give free elevator use to any staff or student but in the schools i went to i was only allowed have the access key because i couldnt walk up the steps on my sprained/twisted ankle and i had to give it back at the end of every day. the last school even limited my use to just the morning or 1-2 periods that i had on the second floor. nevermind if my locker was up there.

11. whats an accessibility tool youre very thankful for?

screen readers. my little brother uses/used em more than me and i dont use them too often but im glad they exist in general i used them when i was younger and my english teachers gave us work on the computer, i used it like an audiobook and it helped me majorly. i hate that people dont always provide translations to things and make things harder on screen readers by using coloured, tiny, non-serif font-ed or 'quirked' text but ever since i was a kid i was just as happy they existed as i was about braille.

12. name 3 things you like about hospitals/docs/nurses/the medical system

a) that there are some people there who are actually hoping, willing and ready to listen and help others.

b) that they provide things for kids like toys in the waiting room, people who specialize in caring for kids in the hospital, some doctors even have their office decorated. one doctor i went to had her entire office winnie the pooh themed and it helped me out a lot when i got blood work done n stuff, it was really comforting to stare at pooh bear instead of the sharp pokey in my arm.

c) that things are usually kept quiet with low voices, as it reduces risk of overstimulation as well as avoids hurting anyones head and protects privacy of those talking about whats going on. voices are usually only raised to a normal talking level when in the privacy of a nurse or doctor office and its something i dont see really acknowledged anywhere.

13. do you have any favourite disability rep? (media or character)

not picking from my own sources, when it comes to physical disability rep, its hard for me to pick something that involves a realistic character because most of them arent very well portrayed or i cant personally relate to. i can list Freddy freeman as one, hes a crutch user and how the shazam movie portrayed him does well in expressing what ableism can be like for some visibly disabled kids in school. i could probably list some shows that handle disability well through other means if i thought of them, i know theres a few that handle it through super heros being disabled (the one spider-person who's got both a wheelchair and a cane from the recent spiderverse movie for example) or non-human characters having differences that are implied to be disabilities, and i adore that creativity, especially with showing disabled super heros as it tells disabled kids theyre still strong, not broken, they can still be cool and do great things just like able-bodied people. hard for me to name specific things off the top of my head though, guess i like specific tropes around disability rep more than anything. it helps normalize disability and thats what really makes me happy with it. (thats a big reason why i made @/your-fave-is-crippled)

14. least favourite/worst disability rep?

not phys disabled but sia's fucked up movie right off the bat still angers me. i cant name any specifics once again, normally if theres some rep that i dont like i purposely forget they exist to begin with, they arent worth remembering if they arent gonna do it right, y'know? id rather forget and move on than linger and rage about it if i can help it.

15. list some creators (youtubers/bloggers etc) that are disabled and/or cater to a disabled audience that you enjoy? (if any)

@crippled-pvp, @cripple-culture-is are a couple blogs i follow that i enjoy seeing on my dash (sorry if you dont want to be tagged!)

there was a deaf/hoh girl i used to frequent the content of as she talks a lot about signing and i really enjoyed her videos, shes such a sweet person but i never remembered her name nor any of the other creators i watched/followed. no one else comes to mind atm

16. favourite aspect about the general disabled community?

i like that there are people with advice at the ready, whatever question you have or info you need etc, theres always going to be someone with the words you need. i just like how helpful people can be in general in this community and how easily support is accessed through the community.

17. least favourite aspect about the general disabled community?

the fact that theres in-fighting, fake claiming, judgment, quick assumptions, and general internalized ableism still going on when we're supposed to be a community helping each other out not tearing each other down. im not just talking about the fight over "inclusion vs exclusion" on cripplepunk and other sub/separate communities in the disability community.

18. favourite aspect about cripplepunk?

i think my answer to "what drew you to cripplepunk" also answers this.

19. least favourite aspect about cripplepunk?

honestly? none. i hate the people forcing themselves into a space not meant to include them nor benefits them in the first place. i cant actually think of an issue i have with the cpunk community, only issues with people outside being upset over how "exclusive" it is because they want in.

20. free space:

feel free to ask me about any of my answers! i'll make a second post for the second ask game some other time. its currently 11pm and i have to get up early for morning classes yuck

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[kquil]

I’ve never done a request before so tell me if i do something’s wrong! this is for the picnic event, 🧁 since i’m self centered 🤫.

I love love music my favorite bands are Queen, Kiss and Greta Van Fleet. I only know how to dress in winter and fall and i usually dress in a sort of dark academia style or like a rockstar🫢. My favorite food is Pasta Carbonara. I have a longer pixie cut. I’m short like i’m literally 5’1 (155cm). I’m usually really sarcastic but i have a hard time picking up sarcasm. I have a small collection of records and old tea cups. I like art and i play the bass guitar!

that’s all i can think of sorry if it’s too much or too ramble-y 😅 also take as long as you need you probably get lots of requests so don’t feel rushed or anything

haha! it's healthy to be a little self-centred, don't worry (≧▽≦)

from your description, i can see you as being sirius's equal and since im a wolfstar shipper, im shipping you with remus lupin!

i. he loves your dark academia and rockstar style too, often, in the winter, the two of you end up accidentally wearing matching outfits whenever you decide to wear something dark academia-esque, only remus was the light academia version of your outfit XD

ii. he appreciates your love for music, he commends your immaculate taste and works hard to save up on getting concert tickets for your favourite artists as a date

iii. he loves how short you are because he thinks its a great combination for you to have with your sarcasm - he loves your mind for the way it works, your sarcastic remarks make him laugh often

iv. there was one time where somebody made fun of his scars, something along the lines of 'i can't believe he has scars all over his face, must be hard to attract any of the birds lookin' that hideous' and you remarked 'oh, like your face is any better, Duncan - a mountain troll gets more girls than you' - from that day on, you're his hero

v. he finds your collection of records fun and interesting to look through, he likes listening to them with your permission and he finds your collection of old tea cups something so adorable about you - it's something he doesn't expect but really loves about you

vi. he likes listening to you play the bass guitar while he reads and since he also plays bass guitar in my headcannon of him, whenever he plays his bass guitar, you like to do your art - you two are just very cute like that

vii. sometimes remus would get jealous of how in sync you and sirius are but understands that it's only because you two are just similar in interests and style ⏤ he does get a little clingy to you though, in the most adorable way! he would just wrap around you from behind and bury his face into your hair for attention, sirius would see this, smirk and back off but not before teasing you two 'oh! sorry about that moony! she's all yours! and you be gentle with him okay? moony needs to be treated preciously!'

viii. something really cute is that remus learns how to cook carbonara for you just the way you like it and that ends up being the only thing he knows how to cook, he also memorised all the restaurants that you like the carbonara of so that when you go out, he knows where to go when you're craving it

ix. remus also likes to play with the ends of your hair, the ones that brush against the back of your neck when you're seated between his legs while he reads his book behind you. at least, he tries to read his book, he just finds the little hairs on the back of your neck really adorable and ends up playing with them ⏤ if your neck is sensitive this will trigger a little tickling session that ends with you both laughing

x. he also tries to learn french to that he can understand you and sirius when you're talking smack about slytherins in class, which often makes him chuckle as well, he also learns it so that he can express short romantic phrases to you in french because 'french is the language of love'

xi. honourable mention: i lowkey ship you with James ⏤ i imagine he can't notice sarcasm either so it's an adorable trait you both share so in first meeting, he isn't deterred by your sarcasm at all. he thinks you having short hair is cool but also likes to imagine you with long hair and gushes about how you look good with long and short hair! he doesn't know french but memorises je t'aime to say to you often and he just stares at you dreamily whenever you talk in french like a lovesick fool, even if you could be saying the meanest and nastiest things or screaming angrily at someone in french

[comvi]

Had to have a lantern in the gif... or it would look like i silent stepped nothing.. This is a black lizard, also as "Molerat" or a mole lizard. They a bite delay of 12. lowist ammount other then reds. they Will not stop biting you. They have a 5/10 chance for the bite to kill...and the place they are in has nothing to grab... so your dead either way. They can be tamed They are an endgame enemy, appearing before your DOOM. which i wont tell you of. They appear in other places but. They are in an undeground area. No light. at all. if you couldent tell, they cannot be seen at all in the dark unlike a white lizard They cant see at all. no eyes But they will find you

No matter what in they're area, there is 5 of them in cramped tunnels. they all can hear you, and all will find you. They will force you to hesitate and relocate even if your walking Them whiskers, they're also feelers. so dont touch em. You know where to find them. And they know where to look.

Friend wise, they need 3-4 feedings to be tamed. They want more outta ya cause they live with no food and they are like. really happy about eating. They cannot be taken most places as they live mainly undeground but can climb poles When tamed they will follow you around from your scent and sound of your walking. They're heads light up when they hear sound. They use this to warn you of danger. They are REALLLY.REALLLLYYYYY touchy and nuzzle-ly They love the contact cause they never really feel it (they fight other black lis btw)

In rest they will climb on you to check if your there constantly They try they're best without eyes. They live before death with no food. They are hugging you in a good way but. Its more of a..

Grim embrace. They hope you make the right choice down here. But they know your too far in to go back... (well you can but. to late.)

YESS YESS!!! AGAIN I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THE DETAIL PUT INTO RAINWORLD!!!! A lot of animals that live underground/in places with little to no sunlight will not have eyes, because they have no use for them!!! Just like these guys!!! and i have almost no doubt they were based off of star-nosed moles, which also use their star-like snout in extremely similar ways!!!

From the darkness of the areas they seem to live/reside in, it seems like unless theres a straight path to wherever you want to go, it would be INCREDIBLY hard to get through it all. i think if i played i would get lost SOO SO many times. Also, im assuming they constantly know your location for one reason or another (very good hearing mainly?), so its would DEFINITELY be terrifying to be going through one of those (small) tunnels only to notice one of their faces blocking the path (atleast, on the first playthrough im guessing! usually you get used to these kinds of things by the 2nd/3rd playthrough)

These guys might actually be one of my favourites in their colouring, normally im not too much of a fan for characters/species that are completely black/grey, but i LOVE how its actually leaning more on purple & magenta, once you see them outside of their naturally dark atmosphere.

i accept that they need higher-than-average feedings to tame they deserve it, they should have even more dare i say. they seem like theyre in constant hungry. Im thinking wherever they come from doesnt get much creatures going through to eat, so i dont think it would be a silly thing to say these guys are probably STARVING.

Despite that, i find it so sweet yet, actually really sad, almost melancholic how they act around you once tamed. they could eat you, they very well could, but they dont. theyre hungry, theyre starving, but they would rather cuddle up warmly beside you, and help you to the best of their ability in this darkness. Making sure you are safe & hoping you do the right thing (whatever that thing ends up being… i feel you’re implying we/the slugcat we play as have a choice at the end, i just have no clue what!!!!!)

actually sorry when i was reading this i started tearing up these guys make me feel really sad. i love them but they make me Feel

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

trigun anon again! The way you described Vash couldn't be more true, as someone who loves the "character who goes to unimaginable trauma but still chooses to be kind" (Atsushi Nakajima for example TvT), Vash is such a genuine character and SAME I would give him so much hugs he just absolutely deserves it :'<<

Hope you don't mind me going on a small spiel on Vash (no spoilers dw!) but I love how he fits the character trope mentioned above but he also stands out from the conventional cinnamon roll/kind hearted character. As you mentioned, what I find most interesting about him is how he's also relatively distant/difficult to read. It's also interesting that the anime doesn't particularly give a lot of the character's internal thoughts/dialogue unlike the usual animes (Meryl probably having the most) so it gives the audience further distance from Vash despite him being the MC.

What I love the most I swear about Vash is the beautiful irony and hypocrisy of his character, his inability to choose sides because he just wants to HELP others in any way he can because of his genuine care for people but also fears being close to them because he is the "Humanoid Typhoon". Im glad to share appreciation for his character esp since I haven't brainrotted over a character as much as I have for Ranpo Edogawa (he's my fave character in bsd and all time due to how well written he is <33) and I'm sure you'll love him more once you get to see the later eps,

Thank you for taking the time to read this ask and sorry its so long TvT!!!

Hey hey again! I'm sorry I took so long to get to this!

First off, never apologize for long asks! I love reading what people have to say, always!

Yes, Vash is a wonderful character! As I've finished the show now and am on to the manga, I can easily say he's worked his way into being one of my favourite characters in general! It's like you've said, he's genuine but also closed off, compassionate but keeps his distance. He's so idealistic but he's seen and suffered far too much to be naive. Old and young at the same time. Not human yet painfully human. He's such a wonderful contradiction.

I will say though, that I interpret the whole "sides" thing a bit differently. Everyone's accusing him of having to "pick a side" but he kind of already has. He's on everyone's side. From an outsider's perspective though... that looks like no one's.

So then, in episode 12, when Vash makes the decision to assert his beliefs and fight for them - it's not that he's "finally picked a side"; this is what he always believed. I think it's more that he realized he can't be on everyone's side all at the same time. Sometimes people won't listen. Sometimes you have to make a judgement call if you want to protect what matters to you. ...unfortunately, any attempt Vash made to do so and perhaps try to pick up the pieces in the aftermath quite literally blew up in his face... poor guy...

(Also you like Atsushi and Ranpo? You have great taste! Ranpo has such a fantastic arc. It'll be really cool to see where he goes in the future.)