#pregnant beta headcanon

[omegaverse-seeker]

i have the headcanon of when a beta is pregnant their couples are expremely protective not only if beta's couple is a alpha but also omegas

So related to the pregnant beta in a poly A/B/O ¿How do you think alpha and omega could be with their pregnant beta? Especially after know the reason why beta hide it from them

I have answered this exact ask before. I am so so sooo lazy to look through 3k posts though. 💀 If someone loves me enough, comment with the link to that particular ask. Pretty please.

Honestly, if the Beta can't share with their partners that they are pregnant, then maybe they have issues in that relationship. Lol.

I'mma go on a tangent. I get the angst. But like, y'all gotta have your characters communicate more. Omg, please communicate. Now I'm annoyed. (Not at you anon, but that trope.) If I come across another fic where the problem coulda been resolved in a five minute conversation and they choose not to do so...I'm kicking in the doors of AO3. Jesus, now everyone in your ship is mad. So am I. SPEAK UP YOU WEENIES. This is how I realize therapy has healed me more than I wanna admit.

Either way, yeah the Beta would get treated normally. Lol. Idk how poly relationships work, but I just think both Alpha and Omega would really be protective. The Alpha more so, at least in my AU bc Omegas can't impregnate, because it would be their biological child. The Omega would be very nurturing bc even though the pup(s) isn't biological, they've still bonded emotionally bc of how they bonded with the Beta.

So yeah, lol. Hope that answered your question, but also look through my posts. It probably has like actual headcanons and not me bitching.

[jeonitopia]

BABY TIME

🪐 bts x f! pregnant! reader (separate)

🪐 headcanons // fluff+angst

☆ warnings: none except maybe no beta read !

a/n: potential part 2 for when the baby is born? depends on if people like this.. also just short hcs bcuz well.. i overdid myself and did all 7 in one post... sigh (i made tis longer than it was supposed to be wtf)

☆KIM SEOKJIN

"Aishh! you already had chocolate earlier!"

constantly watching your diet, making sure all your vitamin and certain intakes are proper

"Jin I'm craving ramyeon with milk mixed in.." "WHAT"

catching him ask his mom what she needed and what she wouldve done if she got pregnant again (he has no shame)

he's an absolute prince in your child's eyes

when he has to leave, he calls you at least every 2 hours and if he can't, he messages you!! (asking for pics of you and the baby)

in love with role-playing with the child, wether it be king and princess, or knights and bandits (you're the damsel in distress)

☆ | 🪐 | ☆

☆MIN YOONGI

honestly, he was terrified of being a father because of his experience with his own father

once he realized the whole weight of the situation, he understood that he WILL be a good (and supportive) father because you are with him

learning that your child also has a thing for music

absolutely bringing your baby to the studio and letting him have his own crib next to his producing set-up

has noise cancelling headphones for the baby if he has to record something or when he's going to fully focus on producing

(of course has the volume on his headphones a medium volume so he can hear if the baby wakes up)

made a joke about how in daechwita, you'd be his empress and the baby is the heir

cue him posting a photo of the three of you in traditional hanbok (yoongi in daechwita outfit, without the long hair because baby will be upset)

☆ | 🪐 | ☆

☆JUNG HOSEOK

always taking photos of your progress

"look here!"

he always tries to keep you active

massages all day everydayyy

you got him to chill with the dance practices so that he both doesnt overwork himself AND you get to spend more time with him

absolutely doing the silliest things to entertain the baby

it's obvious who the favorite is 😐

showing dance moves to the baby and doing silly faces

has a picture of the three of you in hope world, he loves staring at it and just being grateful for his family

he's j-hope, you're bae-hope, baby is mini/baby-hope

☆ | 🪐 | ☆

☆KIM NAMJOON

songs containing references and metaphors that relate to you and the baby (not that he DIDNT do this before)

maybe even a whole mini-album dedicated to your journey into parenthood, each song created throughout your progress till your due date

he did his thorough research on pregnancy and things related to it and constantly gives you advice

when the baby is old enough for long distance rides, family trips are a common thing

loves cradling the baby and blabbering about an art piece they're standing in front of

you're so in love? help???

he has 3 lil plants, the 3rd plant being a new sprout that he likes to say is the baby (it sprouted the day the baby was born?? omg???)

☆ | 🪐 | ☆

☆PARK JIMIN

you became an absolute princess the moment he found out you were pregnant

wonders if the baby would grow up to have the same fingers as his papa mochi

already planning to convince the baby to try a martial art or a type of dancing so he and his papa can have multiple ways of bonding

dropping hints about the baby mochi on some of his lives

one time he asked if he can try your breastmilk

😐😑😐

teasing him about how when the baby holds his fingers, they look the same

☆ | 🪐 | ☆

☆KIM TAEHYUNG

honestly you'd have around 2-3 kids

but this is your first one, taehyung is honestly nervous

absolutely SURE he wants to be a father but more worried on if he'd be a good one

at this point, he'd also be another baby

"Ack, my feet hurt quite a bit.." "AREYOUALRIGHT?DOYOUNEEDTOGOTOTHEHOSPITAL??ILLCALLDOCTORPARK"

you personally think he might be the one more stressed even when he isnt the one carrying the baby

2nd questioner of wifey's breast milk taste

yeontan and the baby being bestfriends

yeontan has super instincts and starts going wild when he feels the baby is about to start crying

☆ | 🪐 | ☆

☆JEON JUNGKOOK

he watched the movie Up with taehyung and they googled why the old couple had a miscarriage, he learned it was from lead exposure

so now he keeps you away from drying walls and dusty areas and even has a small baggy filled with masks and cleansing tissue

he calls it "baby protection protocal"

surprisingly very calm and responsible! (hes trying to win your trust so that he can spoil your child rotten)

absolutely DROPS the fact that he is having a child and dragged you into the view of the live

3rd questioner of wifey's breast milk taste

baby plays with daddy's lip ring because he finds it really cool

baby also thinks daddy's sleeve tattoo is cool and always wants to slobber his saliva on it

baby wants to ride on bam's back??? 😭😭😭😭

[evilmenshoe80]

"I’ve been thinking about a headcanon: What if Eve, when cast out of the Garden, was already pregnant with twins—a boy and a girl? They started the human race outside Eden, while the angels, for whatever reason, failed to check on them. Meanwhile, Adam and Mika are still in Eden, building their own civilization. This leads to the development of two distinct groups of humans: the 'untainted,' descended from Adam (those in Eden), and the 'tainted,' descended from Eve’s children born outside the Garden.

This dynamic would create an interesting tension, especially when it comes to Charlie’s goal of redeeming souls. If Heaven has a fixed system where only the untainted can enter, while the tainted are either automatically sent to Hell or face extreme prejudice, it complicates everything. Maybe some of the tainted do manage to get into Heaven, but the discrimination still creates a massive divide. It’d be fascinating to see how this would play out, especially with the moral and theological implications it brings."

"Also, considering they were both husbands, would the same situation that happened with Adam apply to their generation as well? If so, these humans might have an entirely different biological structure compared to normal humans.

Additionally, perhaps these children could look distinct from regular humans. Since they would be considered 'ascended' in Heaven—and no one can truly die within the Garden—it makes sense they’d be unique. Given that Michael was originally a Seraphim before becoming human, I imagine these children could have at least four wings, appear far more powerful than regular humans, and retain a human-like form, but with distinctive blue markings on their faces."

(WARNING: SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER (not too much) BUT STILL SPOILER OF THE ADAM & MIKA LORE AHEAD, IF YOU WANT TO WAIT AND BE SURPRISED DON'T READ THIS, THANKS (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧)

1- Do you read minds or smt? hehehe Cause indeed, eve is pregnant with cain and awan at the moment she gets kicked out of eden, but who is the biological father? Did Sera and the other angels know about this before banishing Eve from the garden? how will eve protect her children from the dangers of earth ALONE?….although, is she really alone???

and yes, apart from adam & mika descendents there will be another group of humans

buuuuut sorry I won't say more, I want to keep people at edge of how the story will develop ( ๑‾̀◡‾́)σ"

and I LOVE the "tainted/untainted" names, do you mind if I use them?? (＾▽＾)

2) There is indeed a difference in the way heaven behaves between the tainted and untainted, they favor the untainted, considers them perfect and expects the best from them, they are untouched by sin after all, it's impossible for one of them to go to hell......right?

and definitely a tainted can go to heaven BUT like you said, there will be A LOT of discrimination ("cough"speciallyfromtheuntainted"cough")

3) this au can be considered an omegaverse, adam (omega) now has both genitals so he can give birth, apart of having heats every two months while mika (alpha) has ruts that trigger everytime adam starts his heats to assure a sucessful mating and breeding, soooo yep, adam's children either male or female can be omegas, alphas or betas, and have "normal" male/female genitalia or both

and Adam is tecnically "the mother of humanity" and mika refers to him as "my wife"

4) I don't want to elaborate much in here but let's say mika's body is 100% human so the children he haves with adam won't have any angelic physical trait

(≈ㅇᆽㅇ≈)♡

[thegnomelord]

Just had this dark idea in my head involving Hound and Makarov. What if while Makarov was in prison, he starts becoming very sick, and the guards start to notice as well. He claims to have cramps, vomiting a lot, and bloating. Suspicious signs of pregnancy. So the facility gives him a ton of pregnancy tests, all of which were positive. Makarov knew this day would come before he was captured because he washed down the birth control and made you cum blanks inside him without protection. He wanted something to remind you that you belonged to him, a piece of you to always have with him, someone to love when you aren’t there.

The news spreads like wildfire in the base, 141 couldn’t believe what they heard and debated if they should tell you or not. But in the end they all agreed you should know the truth. Price was the one to break the news and hold you tightly as you had a mental breakdown. Makarov was pregnant with your child.

NGL I'm having serious thoughts of whether or not to put abo verse into the Hound/Good dog universe because like, it feels really fitting.

Like Makarov's an omega, he grew up being told he'd need to be a good omega for his future alpha and be subservient and all that shit, and he's had to fight tooth and nail for everything. And he loves having control over such a big and burly alpha like Hound, turning the usual dynamic on it's head. It would also make brainwashing Hound easier with all the pheromones and come Hound's rut when alpha's get desperate for an omega's touch.

Price and Ghost are omegas, Gaz is a beta and Johnny's an alpha. I headcanon when Hound was still a sergeant they'd do this scenting session after particularly hard missions where they'd scent each other and just cuddle until your inner alpha was content and happy knowing your omegas were okay.

Also the angst of Price or Ghost trying to do the same thing only to have you recoil and growl at them. Aaaand maybe the heartbreak of finding out Makarov had bonded you and him, owns Hound body and soul is jught ughtuddafeha.

Also yes yes yes the angst of finding out Makarov is pregnant with your child would be such good angst! And then dealing with the instincts to protect your pregnant omega would make it an even bigger dilemma when it comes to choosing between Makarov and 141.

But idk lemme know what ya'll think before I go and change things up lol.

[jedipoodoo]

Liz,,,, I have,,,, a mighty need. Firstly, I read and reread your fics ALL the time, you are solely responsible for introducing to and making me obsessed with the bad batch, congrats.

I’m on an Echo kick. And there’s,,,not,,,any,,,,pregnant reader fics with him😭😭

Pre-citadel with ba’vodu Fives, post citadel with clingy over concerned ptsd!papa echo,,, I need it😭

Do you want me to flood your inbox with headcanons because I can flood your inbox with headcanons

YOU HAVE INFECTED MYSELF WITH THE MIGHTY NEED NOW I WILL TAKE ANY AND ALL HEADCANONS OF PAPA ECHO

Back to You (Echo x Mom!Reader)

Notes: No warnings, sick child, discussion of death, female reader. The Pergil lullaby is from @marierg. Not beta read, I wrote half of this in a fitful haze as soon as I got this ask, promptly lost it all by hitting the wrong button and couldn't recover it, and then re-wrote it in an even sleepier, more fitful haze. Divider by @stars-n-spice

You shifted your hold on your toddler to keep him from slipping out of your arms, gently bouncing him as he cried, hoping it would help him go back to sleep. It had been two days without sleep, so you were willing to try anything

"Oh baby pergil, little baby pergil, flying through the sky..." You murmured beneath your breath. This was your fifth time singing through the song, but it seemed to be working,

And then your comm began to glow with an impending message.

It was one in the morning, but you were too tired to wonder who could be calling you at this hour. Plus, you could use the distraction.

"H'lo?" You asked.

"Are you sitting down?" It was Kix. Dr. "Medical comes before sleep", who would turn right around and scold you for not getting what sleep you could get with a baby.

Fives was starting to fuss, now that you weren't serenading him. "I can't, I just got Iv'ika to calm down, and if I sit down it'll make it worse."

"Look, I've got something important to tell you, and I really think that you should sit down before-"

"Is someone dead or dying?" You asked.

"For once, no," Kix laughed half-heartedly, "Are you sitting-"

"Are you gonna tell me whatever this is or not?"

There was a beat of silence on the other end of the comm.

"We found Echo."

Your stomach twisted, pushing everything out f your stomach and up your throat, threatening to make you vomit.

"Don't- don't- don't you dare joke about that," You snapped. The sudden sharpness in your tone made Fives cry out.

"I'm not joking, look-"

"Did Jesse put you up to this?" You demanded as your eyes began to sting with more than just the lack of sleep, "Tell him he's a mir'sheb-"

"Jesse doesn't even know yet! Rex told me to-"

"You're all a bunch of miserable old men, and I never want to speak to any of you ever again."

You hung up before Kix could hear you sob. Fives was already crying, and you had to be strong for him, like you had for his whole life.

You held your son tightly, caressing his sweaty hair while you focused on singing lullabies, not about the dead father of your child. In your hand, your comm kept buzzing as Kix and even Jesse tried to call you back. Until finally, you blocked them, and Rex too for good measure, not even bothering to read the messages they tried to send you.

Fives fell asleep about an hour later, and you pondered your reaction.

Rex and Kix weren't the type to play pranks in the middle of the night, and Jesse might have been a bit of an arse, but he wouldn't prank you like this, would he? Not even Fives would have gone that far, especially not when it came to the life of a beloved brother.

Could Echo really be alive?

You'd have to worry about that later. Fives was asleep, and you had work in a couple hours. You had to try and get some sleep while the opportunity was fresh.

Your woke to the smell of your mother making breakfast. She immediately came in and took Fives from your arms, cooing to her grandson while she changed his diaper. You took a quick shower and smeared on some makeup to cover the dark circles under your eyes. When you stepped out of the refresher to get dressed, your mother was singing one of the lullabies she always used to sing to you.

"I think his fever's broken," She smiled at you, and you felt a bit of the huge weight lifted off your shoulders.

"Be good for Nana, okay?" You told Fives. He was a bit fussy, but nowhere near how he was last night. You could breathe easy at the office, even though you were almost late, and let yourself focus on fielding calls from agitated customers and filling out the proper files for each complaint.

You were still exhausted, though, so as you made a fresh pot of caff your mind wandered back to Kix's comm last night. You should really just apologize to him, but you felt so embarrassed. Ever since Echo died, the boys of the 501st had been there for you. Holding your hair back while you threw up from morning sickness and learning how to cook so that you could nap and have a proper meal when you woke up. In the end, pride kept you from unblocking them then and there, but as you made your way back to your desk with a cup of caff, your mother commed you.

"Mom, is everything okay?"

"Honey, there's a group of clones here to see you. lots of them."

A shiver ran through you and you groaned. You were gonna get an earful from all of them, weren't you.

"Tell them I'm on my way. I'll be there in a minute."

"Do I have to let them in?"

You paused. Your mom could be blunt from time to time. She was a wonderful mother and an even better grandmother, but she still wasn't used to the idea that you'd had a child with a clone. Having been a single mother herself, she got protective real fast. It was probably best that they stayed outside.

You apologized profusely to your boss for leaving early, and ended up playing the desperate single mother card. The sloppy makeup job and the faint perfume of sick baby that was following you everywhere as of late certainly helped sell the act.

When you got to your apartment, Rex, Kix, and Jesse were waiting, along with six other troopers. Four of them wore dark gray armor, while two had armor that was more white like the standard trooper armor.

One of those troopers looked at you with wide eyes, and you couldn't blame him. You had to look as much like a ghost as he did. He had the same nose shape and facial structure as all the other clones, but he was incredibly emaciated and pale. His white armor looked to be the kind that they gave civilians in the field, and it was clearly padded out in some places to help him fill out the bodysuit.

"Did you have to bring everyone and scare my mom half to death?" You sighed to Rex.

"Hey, they insisted," Jesse waved to the squad of new troopers dismissively and held out his arms for a hug. Given everything that had happened in the last few days, you accepted the comforting embrace without question.

"We tried comming you to tell you we were coming, but for some reason our messages won't go through," Rex placed his hand on his hip, all business.

You folded your arms and glared at Kix. "That'll happen when you call someone at midnight to pull their leg."

"I wasn't pulling your leg!" Kix sighed in exasperation and grabbed the emaciated trooper's arm, pulling him to stand in front of you.

You took a step back, "Um, hi?"

"Hi," He said softly. He coughed to clear his throat and repeated the greeting in a firmer tone.

"Well, what do you want?" You asked, oblivious to the revelation that was right in front of you.

Rex sighed, "You'll remember Echo, right?"

You stopped. you looked the emaciated trooper up and down, but refused to look him in the eyes.

"Rex," You took a deep breath, "Please don't do this to me. Not today-"

"But it's him!" Jesse exclaimed, "We found him and rescued him on Anaxes!"

"We?" One of the dark-armored troopers demanded, flicking a toothpick at Jesse.

"Well it's easier than explaining ev- Is it really so hard to believe that after everything karked-up that's happened to us, something good might have actually happened?"

"Boys," Rex said sharply. He nodded down the hall, and most of your little group ambled off to give you some distance.

"Cyare..." The trooper who everyone said was Echo reached out his right hand towards you, then returned it to his side. It wasn't much of a hand anymore, there was a scomplink attachment in its place.

"Cyar'ika, you're trembling," He noticed, a hint of terror in his voice. You kept your eyes on the floor. He was one to speak, how could he even stand on those wobbling legs?

His helmet fell on the floor as his left hand--still a hand--came up to cradle your cheek, wiping away a single tear.

Don't cry, you told yourself, don't cry, don't cry, don't cry.

With that tender touch, you finally allowed yourself to look him in the eyes.

A million men had the same brown eyes as Echo, but none of them shone when they looked at you like Echo's did.

"Prove it. Tell me something I've never told anyone el-"

"You talk in your sleep. It's probably because you need a cup of tea before you go to bed."

Your breath caught in your throat.

"I wanted to name our son after Fives, but you said he'd get to big a head about it."

You managed a laugh, "He did get a big head about it."

Echo chuckled, and the scomp on his right arm rested against your arm as he pulled you closer.

"I told you I wanted to marry you as soon as the war was over, and you tried to convince me to move it up until after my last mission."

You gasped out a sob, wiping your runny nose on the sleeve of your blouse. Echo wrapped his arms around you, and you pulled him even closer.

"So you really named him after Fives?" Echo gasped, pressing kisses to the crown of your head.

You squeezed him as tightly as you dared. When you hugged him before he left for the citadel, Your arms almost couldn't make their way around him. Now you feared that if you held him the wrong way, he'd snap like a twig.

"It was what you wanted, what else was I supposed to name him?"

Echo took your chin in his hand, fiercely pressing a kiss to your lips. You could feel a year and a half's worth of loneliness and longing behind the passion in that kiss. All the fear, pain, and isolation the both of you had felt without each other. You almost couldn't bring yourself to stop kissing him. If you stopped kissing him you thought you might wake up in the middle of the night with your crying baby on your chest.

"I want to meet him," Echo said in between kisses.

Your heart fluttered. Echo was going to meet his son. Fives was finally going to meet his dad.

"Yes, yes," You gasped, and grasped his hand, pulling him into your apartment. It was almost exactly the same as the last time he'd been there, with the exception of all the baby toys strewn about and the holos of you and Fives hanging on the wall.

Your mother was in the kitchen, spatula in hand, making dinner and watching the door at the same time.

"Where's Fives?" You asked her.

"He's asleep, but-"

You ignored her protests and brought Echo into your room.

Fives was just waking up when you opened the door. He'd lost his pacifier while tossing and turning, but that allowed Echo's first view of his son to be the big, wide-toothed smile he gave you.

"Hello precious boy!" You swooped across the room and swept him into your arms. He had a bit of a cowlick from the way he'd slept, and you tried to smooth it back, but it didn't do much.

"Fiv'ika, there's someone you need to meet," You whispered calmly, "Can you be a good boy for mama?"

Fives didn't say anything, but he buried his face into your neck, cooing softly.

You brought him over to Echo, who stood in the bedroom doorway, spellbound at the sight of the two of you. You had never been able to see how Little Fives' eyes looked exactly like Echo's, but now that you had them next to each other, the likeness was unmistakable.

"I...I don't know if I can hold him," Echo held out his arms. You could see his heart, struggling not to break as he watched you cuddle your son. Your son. Yours and Echo's. A proper family now.

"Sit on the bed," you nodded. Echo did so, and you pushed him back against the pillows so that you could lay Fives on his chest.

Fives blinked his dark brown eyes at Echo, drinking in the not-so-stranger's face. Echo stayed as still as possible, like a sniper in wait. The baby wasn't as heavy as he expected, and he was scared to hurt him. His hands were made for combat and firing weapons, no for child rearing.

Fives' head dropped suddenly, his forehead smacking against Echo's collarbone.

"Yow!" Echo gasped in surprise, but Fives wasn't upset. He rubbed his face against Echo's neck, just like he had with you.

"He likes you," You said, lying next to Echo. You placed your hand on his upper arm and squeezed.

"He likes me?" Echo asked.

"He does," You whispered, tears brimming in your eyes, "And guess what?"

"What?" there was a hint of fear in Echo's voice. Today had already been a very long day for the both of you.

You rested your head on Echo's shoulder, close enough that you could press a kiss to Fives' dark curls.

"I like you too."

[tieronecrush]

hot & heavy

epilogue: our love is going gold

neighbor!joel x f!reader

series masterlist

series rating: E (18+ MDNI)

series summary:

over the course of three summers, joel miller becomes woven into your life. the first summer is spent falling for him; nannying his daughter and sneaking around with him in a burning love affair. you know how you feel about joel, he isn’t so sure about how it all is gonna work. the second summer is brief. a month spent at home after graduation and before you move to boston for your dream job. one look at you, one time hearing your voice, and joel is hooked again. he pines over you for that month, but you think — how is long distance of over a thousand miles going to work for a single dad? the third summer, you return home burnt out and pride bruised from your post-grad life. you need time to feel at home again, like your complete self, so you’ve come back home with no return ticket booked. it’s only a matter of time before joel seeks you out, slowly spending more time with you. without an inevitable end to the summer looming over you both, what chances are you willing to take?

word count: 17.2k (but she's done. like done, done.)

warnings (**SPOLIERS**): NO OUTBREAK (don’t need to worry about the mushies), no use of y/n, inexperienced reader, age gap (joel is 30/31, reader is 22), canon-divergent (sarah is now 10 y/o), nanny au, pet names (sweetheart, darling, sweet girl, mariposa, etc.), established relationship, engagement, marriage, alcohol, eating, very lovey romantic, polite southern manners, spanish/spanglish cause joel is latino, soft joel, domestic joel, WIFE!! GUY!! JOEL!!, discussion of parenting, step-parenting, struggles with conceiving, negative self talk and image, smut, soft dom joel, fingering, oral (f receiving), joel worships the ground his wife walks on and also her body, praise, unprotected p in v (they're tryna get pregnant, not you!), breeding kink, sort of nursing kink? joel is briefly obsessed with your tits and makes comments, mating press, a flash of cumplay, the BRIEFEST mention of daddy kink, joel really wants to give his wife a baby, pregnancy, a mention of giving birth, girl dad joel, CUTE FAMILY!!!

also this is the song mentioned <3 it's a fave of mine and i think very joel & mari

a/n: this has been a doozy but happy to hand this over to y'all. this is simply what i envisioned for their future, and if you had different thoughts, i would love to hear them! <3 or if you have any headcanons for their life beyond this, drop them in my inbox! this fic and these characters are my children and i love them very much. will probably keep them alive somehow. and thank you to everyone who's read this series, you are all so special to me and have sincerely made me feel so much more confident in my writing!

as always, thank you thank you thank you @northernbluess for beta-ing, couldn't do it without you! and this extremely long ending is dedicated to el and kiwi @kiwisbell you are my hype people fr

i feel like i need to say like signing off on h&h now lol so this is me doing that & closing the book!

** this is set over three additional summers post-main story **

first of many

After the holidays, it was an easy decision to move in with Joel and Sarah. The Millers had joined your family for their annual, lowkey celebrations; spending Christmas Eve with Joel and Sarah, it was a treat to witness him playing Santa after Sarah had gone to bed. Only a few curses under his breath putting together the new dollhouse she’d requested from St Nick, the other presents from her father, and your gifts to her carefully wrapped under the tree. The two of you split the plate of cookies while watching A Christmas Story, you and Joel taking turns mumbling the words to the iconic scenes under your breaths.

The next morning, your heart was overwhelmed with the love that you hold for this family that has welcomed you in and made you a part of it. Sarah gifted you a photo frame that she’d made at school, painted with flowers and butterflies, and a photo of the three of you from the trip to the apple orchard you’d taken that fall. Once Sarah was occupied with her new treasures, gifts were exchanged between you and Joel. Requesting to gift first, you stand up from the couch and tiptoe around Sarah and her new dolls sprawled across the floor to the front hall closet and retrieve a brand new, custom acoustic guitar. 

Sitting back with him, guitar placed into his hands and his eyes combing over it, his lips part with a gasping breath when he notices in the inlay of ‘SME’ for his daughter’s name, Sarah Elena.

“The old one in the corner of your room was lookin’ a little worse for wear, and I hadn’t seen you play it in a while…” you trail off in the silence, waiting for his response, “Do you—do you like it? Is it the right kind? I tried to match it the best I could to the one upstairs.”

“Oh, Mari baby, I love it. It’s beautiful, thank you so much…” He shakes his head, taking another sighing exhale in appreciation as he turns it in his hands. “Hadn’t played the other one 'cause it wasn’t quite playable anymore. Restrung it a few too many times, the wood was warped from some water damage. The perils of having a toddler around years ago. This is…it’s perfect, Mariposa.”

You beam, shifting in your seat and anxiously fiddling with your fingers. Joel sets the instrument down next to him carefully, turning back to you. He leans in, kissing you delicately and whispering another ‘thank you’ against your lips, “Guess m’gonna have to serenade you now.”

“Oh, yeah, J. I expect one nightly,” you playfully respond, kissing him again before he pulls away, his turn to stand from his place on the couch. 

He wanders over to the tree, plucking the last wrapped gift from under it, and returning to sit next to you. Handing over the small rectangular box, you unwrap it gingerly, glancing at Joel’s knee bouncing. You gently set your hand on it, smiling at him which he returns, biting his lip to channel his jittery energy. Opening the box, you’re met with the shining gold links of a beautiful charm bracelet. Your eyes wander over the small icons, feeling your chest tighten with love as you take them all in: A small ‘S’ with a ruby-colored stone at each end of the curve, a matching ‘J’ with a sapphire embedded into it right next to the ‘S; there’s a tiny gold key, nearly identical to the one he had given to you those three summers before for your job that started it all; a tiny set of longhorn antlers that is reminiscent of home; a lighthouse that reminds you of one you visited while living in Boston, a day you had documented and sent Joel some of the photos in the mail to recap your time. It was a day you had been happy there, and it made your heart ache that he remembered that. The last charm on the bracelet is a butterfly, bejeweled with kelly green stones, the color of the leaves that you told him were your favorite years ago. The ache in your chest is worked out of its knot with Joel’s hand at your back, a gasping breath as you blink back tears.

Clearing your throat, your watery smile has a flash of worry crossing his eyes before you hand him the bracelet you’ve taken out of the box, lightly requesting, “Will you put it on for me?”

Joel nods shyly, taking the dainty piece in his hands, and hooking the clasp around your wrist after a few tries. You both admire it, your smile growing wider and his matching yours.

“Merry Christmas, Mari baby. I love you.”

“Merry Christmas, J. I love you, too.”

Now, months later, the bracelet on your wrist glints in the sun as you hold onto Sarah’s hand, letting her lead you around the atrium filled with butterflies. Spending the day at the same farm you three had visited summers ago, and had kept up with the tradition with the summers following, you picked an abundance of strawberries, wandered through the nature paths, and now ending the day at the youngest Miller’s favorite spot.

Sarah wildly points out the different types of butterflies, the encyclopedia book of the insect’s species that you had gifted her for Christmas coming in handy for today as she reads the small signs of each patterned, winged creature, adding in her tidbits that she remembers. A grin stays plastered on your face as you listen intently, paying no mind to Joel trailing behind the two of you.

Giving your lessons on the flora that you know of in the gardens, Sarah listens to you as well. Stopping in front of the small waterfall, surrounded by tropical plants and flowers, the two of you go back and forth in fun facts about plants and butterflies, unaware as Joel saddles up behind you. Sarah glances back over her shoulder and grins, the expression reading as knowing and mischievous. Before turning around, you start to warn Joel behind you playfully, “J, if you’re even thinking about pushing me or splashing me, I will ki—”

Your breath catches when you finally face him, eyes dropping to meet his; the backpack he’d be adamant about carrying all day is at his feet, unzipped, and in his hands is a small, forest-green velvet box. Joel rests on one knee, a soft but bright, devoted smile on his face.

“Oh my god…” It comes from your lips as a whisper, your free hand reaching up to cover your mouth while the other continues to tether you to Sarah at your side, her small giggle hitting your ears as Joel glances at her, sending her a wink.

Eyes back on your face, Joel clears his throat, adjusting himself on his knee as he takes a deep breath, “I have been trying to figure out exactly what to say, and I can’t seem to find quite the right words that tell you exactly how I feel about you. I love you, so much, Mariposa. The second you entered my life, that time I saw you for only seconds in your backyard while I was touring the house, I knew I had to meet you. And then the first time I met you, well, I knew that you were who I needed.

“I’ve been walking around blind, trying to figure out life for years, and moving next door to you, that was the last piece falling into place. You have made my life, and Sarah’s life, a million times better. And while these past few years haven’t been picture-perfect for us, we made it through, and I know that we can take on anything that comes our way. Eres el alma más hermosa que he conocido, y soy muy afortunada de tenerte. (You are the most beautiful soul I have ever met, and I am so lucky to have you.) I’ve been waiting for years to do this, Mari baby, and I can’t have any more summers pass by without you being mine. Tú eres mi media naranja. (You’re my soulmate.) I love you. Te amo, Mari. You’re my soulmate, sweet girl, and I can’t take another day without the promise of forever. Will you marry me, Mariposa?”

Without hesitation, you nod your head frantically, your tears that started falling as soon as Joel started speaking continue to flow. You uncover your mouth, squeezing Sarah’s hand and sharing a smile with her before she takes her hand away.

“Yes, oh my gosh, Joel…of course, of course, I’ll marry you. I love you so much, J.” You squat down in front of him, left hand trembling as you hold it out for him. He carefully takes the ring from the box, and Sarah, ever the helper, takes it from the spot where it rests on his knee for safekeeping. The delicate gold band slips onto your finger, embellished with clusters of tiny gems and centered with an emerald cut diamond. It’s perfectly you, and you can’t wipe the smile off your face as you watch Joel settle the piece of jewelry on your finger. Both of you take a deep breath, admiring the sight before your eyes find each other’s again, matching expressions of complete admiration. Your hands find his cheeks, pulling him in for a tenderly passionate kiss, attempting to breathe all the love in your chest into the kiss and his heart. Joel pulls away first, resting his forehead against yours for a quiet moment.

“Thank you, J,” you whisper, and his head tilts with curiosity.

“For what, baby? I think I should be thankin’ you for sayin’ yes to me.” He chuckles and rubs his thumb at the back of your hand, skimming next to the band of the new addition.

“Everything. For not giving up. Your patience when I was still finding my way back to you. How effortlessly you’ve welcomed me into your life and your family…” Cheating your body away, one hand reaches out to pull Sarah into the small huddle, reuniting the moment within your unit of three, “I just—I can’t wait for all my summers to be spent with you both.”

“I can’t wait either. This is gonna be the first of many, Mari baby.”

And the two of you really couldn’t wait.

Only a week after Joel was down on one knee, your family was throwing you an engagement party. Tommy, a few of Joel’s close friends from his contracting company, your college friends, and neighbors were all in attendance to celebrate the two of you, and it was a big to-do. Drinks flowing, music playing, and food was being passed around. Everything under the warmth of a Texas night and the strung lights across the stretch of your parents’ backyard. Joel was glued to your side the entire night, hand on your back or clasped in yours, grabbing your refills and whispering in your ear to make you laugh.

“So…are all of these people coming to the wedding? ‘Cause I can count about half that I have no idea who they are.”

To that, you whispered back, “I don’t know them either, so definitely not. Unless they wanna buy us the most expensive thing on the registry.” Joel laughed, squeezing you closer — if it were even possible — and pressing a kiss to your temple.

Later, once you two were far past tipsy, Joel mumbled against your ear, barely able to get the words out without drunkenly giggling himself, “D’you think Mrs. Clarke is thinkin’ m’the one that got away?”

You couldn’t contain your laughter, bursting out in the middle of the conversation happening around you two, quickly covering your mouth as the lingering hiccups escape, “I think she’s singin’ the blues about you, Miller.”

The rest of the evening was filled with small moments between the two of you; never left alone long enough to have a full conversation on your own. Whispers of love and affection breathed out, fleeting kisses exchanged. It wasn’t until the party was over, everyone dwindled out the door and back to their homes, that you and Joel took a beat to speak to each other in more than one sentence. The early hours of the morning had crept in without anyone quite noticing, and Sarah was knocked out, brought inside to sleep in your old bedroom around 10pm when she couldn’t keep her eyes open anymore. Joel now held her in his arms, her head laying on his shoulder while the three of you walked the short distance home. After your quiet goodnight to Sarah that went unheard by her sleeping self, Joel put her down, taking off her shoes and leaving her undisturbed to sleep in her clothes.

Back in the ensuite of your, now, shared bedroom, you’re lazily getting ready for bed, movements slower and lagging from the alcohol you consumed. Joel stands behind you, facing your reflection in the mirror and giving you a smile as the exhaustion catches up to him.

“You have fun tonight, sweet girl?” His vocal cords rub together in a fry, hands finding their place on your waist and drawing you back into his chest. Littering kisses at the back of your neck, he hums contently before you affectionately shoo him off to brush his teeth while you apply your skincare.

“‘Course I did, J. Spent most of the night with you, how could I not have fun?” You grin at him from in front of your side of the double sinks, gently rubbing in your moisturizer. “Have you given any thought as to when you wanna set a date for?”

Whatever he responds is muffled by the foamy toothpaste, your face twisting in confusion before he leans over and spits out, rinsing his mouth and toothbrush. Standing back up, he rests his hip against the countertop while facing you, shrugging as he smirks slightly, “As soon as possible. Baby, I’d get married to ya in a garbage dump if it meant we could get married right this second. No puedo esperar para hacerte mi esposa. (Can’t wait to make you my wife.) And I know you don’t want that, and I want to make you happy, so whenever you want, Mari. Lo que sea que desees, lo haré realidad. (Whatever you wish for, I’ll make a reality.) But I will say, summer’s kind of our thing.”

A gentle smile stretches across your lips as you step closer, hands coming to rest on his chest and massaging your fingers gently into the muscles there, “Well, how about we do this summer? I mean, I don’t want anything fancy, just something special for us. Thought maybe we could do it here, in our backyard and my parents’. Where we met and fell in love and broke up and fell in love again and—”

“I love that idea, sweetheart. Think it’s perfect for us…” Joel punctuates his work by stealing a kiss, mint and strawberry lip balm melting on his tongue when he deepens it only for a few seconds, “Think we can manage for Labor Day weekend, mi amor?”

Nodding confidently, your hands skate up to his shoulders, pulling him down for another kiss, “I believe we just set our wedding date, Miller.”

“Damn right, we did, Miller.”

A whirlwind of planning and three months later, you now stand in your childhood bedroom on the second floor of your parent’s house, admiring yourself in the full-length mirror standing in the corner. Your mom had helped you with your hair, a small gold barette holding one side away from your face; your makeup was fairly minimal, fresh, and bright, but nothing too heavy that would melt in the heat that has graced Austin this weekend.

On your wrist is your charm bracelet from Joel, a simple gold locket to match that your father had gifted you the evening before at the rehearsal dinner — it has belonged to his grandmother, and now your grandma wanted you to have it since she couldn’t make the trip down due to her age. It was your ‘something old’ he said, playing into the old traditions that seemed to charm your entire family. 

Your ‘something borrowed’ was a pair of white strappy sandals from your mom, ones that she had worn to her rehearsal dinner when she married your dad. The title of ‘something new’ belonged to the charm hanging off of your wrist that was hand-delivered to you this morning from Tommy, per the request of Joel since you both were getting ready in opposite houses. The gift box unveiled a gold lotus flower, hand painted with deep magenta petals. Inside the lid of the box was a folded note, the words written by your soon-to-be husband in his usual scrawl.

Mi amor,

Got to reading one of your books you leave around about plants, and they were talking about the lotus flower. Made me think of you — since they go back to the murky water each evening and open their blooms at the break of day. You always start fresh, sweet girl, you’re so resilient and strong and pure of heart. No matter what happens, you get through it. And you won’t have to go at it alone, baby. I’m gonna be right there with you through anything.

You make me a better man.

Te amo, mi media naranja.

J

You had to touch up your makeup after having read the note over and over for minutes straight, now fresh faced and eager to get downstairs. One last time in the mirror, you give yourself the once over, smoothing the long, full skirt of your linen dress. The ruched empire bodice lays across your chest, framing your neck with a square shape along with the cap sleeves. Simple, but it feels perfectly you. And now, you were finally on your way to get your something blue: Joel in his navy suit, waiting at the end of the aisle for you.

Everyone’s gathered in their seats, only a crowd of around forty people from your lives occupying the rows, all carefully selected to make the cut. It was easy for Joel, he had three people he wanted there for sure, and well, his daughter didn’t have a choice living right next door, plus with her dad being the groom, and you being the bride. The only chance of a wild card he had was Tommy, but he was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed this morning despite the many shots he had the night prior. At the rehearsal dinner of all places.

Dressed and gaffed, he stands at the end of the short aisle after having walked down it hand-in-hand with Sarah, who was donning a lilac dress she picked out with your help and her hair in her natural, bouncy curls. She now sits next to Tommy in the front row, whose new girlfriend Maria is sitting on the other side of him, stealing peeks over the back of the seat to try to catch a glimpse of you at the top of the deck stairs. Joel is doing the same, eyes flickering from scanning over the crowd to tunneling at the opening of the stairs. 

Music starts and it immediately tunes out of his ears, a tingle of excitement radiating from his chest throughout his body. A vision in white, you appear at the stairs with your arm linked to your dad, Mark; he isn’t paying attention to anything but you, captivated by your beauty. His heartbeat kicks up when you walk down, reaching the end of the grassy path between rows of chairs, and stopping for a moment. With the bouquet in one hand, you use the other that was resting on your dad’s arm to give him a short wave that he returns with a grin.

Each step you take brings up tears in his eyes, an overwhelming joy clenching around his heart. A few drop down his cheeks, using one of his thumbs to wipe away the streaks as you give him a gentle smile, speeding up your walk and dragging your dad along with you. The guests laugh at the eagerness, Joel rocking on the balls of his feet as he bites back his wild grin when you finally reach him. Exchanging hugs with your dad, Mark shakes Joel’s hand before clapping him on the back, a sure nod directed to him.

His hand slips into yours naturally, helping you with the last few steps to stand in front of him, exhaling a deep breath. A smile that he can’t wipe off stretches across his face, looking into your eyes as he lifts a hand to wipe his cheeks. You do the same, delicate touch against his skin while your gaze stays trained on his. Beating out of his chest, his heart thumps deeply, the wings of his butterfly fluttering madly in his gut in time with his heartbeat.

“Hey, Mari.”

“Hi, J.”

Everyone settles back in their seats, and your brother stands at the makeshift altar, a carved arbor handmade by Joel over the last few months frames the three of you in front of your guests. You turn to hand off the wildflower bouquet you put together to Sarah, eager to fulfill her responsibility of holding it during the ceremony. She grins, whispering to you loud enough for him to hear when she takes the arrangement.

“You look so pretty, Posey. I’m excited for you to marry Daddy.” Your hand reaches for her curls, squatting down in your dress to address her at eye level, unconditional love shining in your eyes as you look at his daughter.

“You look beautiful, Sare Bear. I’m so excited, too.” Other words are exchanged only between the two of you, a hug shared before Sarah retreats to her chair next to Tommy and you stand up and take Joel’s hands.

Chris ambles through an introduction, recollecting his version of events, as well as both of your sides, for how your relationship has progressed. Humor was laced throughout, laughter bubbling over throughout the crowd of guests, and especially between the two of you when you shared knowing expressions.

The ceremony moves quickly, with no religious elements to extend the length, simply secular. Before he knows it, Chris is reaching the vows, allowing a moment for Tommy to present the rings to each of you, clapping a hand on his brother’s back.

“Don’t fuck this one up, brother. Posey’s a good ‘un. Way too good for you—”

Joel cuts him off with a mumble and an eye roll, “I know all of this, Tommy, but thank you for the reminder.”

Chris directs Joel to go first, a deep inhale and extended exhale fills the air as you give his hands a reassuring squeeze. He flashes a smile at you before he drops one of your hands, finishing in his inside jacket pocket for the small slip of paper.

“I tried to memorize this, but we both know that wasn’t gonna happen…” he huffs out a nervous chuckle, reading over the page before his eyes come back to you, a patient and gentle grin on your face, “I genuinely hope you know how much I love you. I try to show you, to tell you, to make you feel it through osmosis every day, but I truly hope you can feel it. Through all that we have been through together and on our own, I have always had you in my mind. I thought about you every day you were away, and all I was hoping for was your happiness. I cannot tell you what it means that you have found your happiness with me, but I will be thanking whatever forces are out there for bringing us back together. Our roads may have been bumpy, and they may be in the future, but I’m so thankful to have you in my passenger seat. Cause we both know you don’t like to drive.” Joel winks and the crowd of guests laugh.

“I never want to let go. And I’m never going to let you go, Mariposa, I’m in it for the long run.  Eres todo para mí. (You are everything to me.) You are everything I have ever asked for, hoped for, didn't think I deserved. You are…un alma tan pura (such a pure soul) and I don't know how you ended up with me, but I'm countin’ my luck every second of every day. I love you through anything, mi Mariposa, and I cannot wait for our future together, as a family. I’m so happy that you have found a place you belong with Sarah and me, and I feel so lucky that you have chosen me. Te amo, mi Mariposa. Siempre.”

Recovering from your tears, you choke out a small sob that tugs on his heartstrings, tightening his grip on your hand while his brow furrows softly in concern.

“Happy tears, I promise, J. Very happy tears.” Another sob comes with a burst of laughter, a hand of yours fanning your face. Joel reaches up, wiping away the stragglers, careful to not smudge any of your mascara. With a deep breath, you focus back, centered, offering Joel your left hand. He repeats the phrase from Chris, who recites it from his printed-out online ordainment course before slipping the simple matching gold band onto your finger above your engagement ring, ears ringing when he sees the symbol of his love and commitment on your finger, where it will stay for the rest of his time on this Earth.

Next, it was your turn to recite your vows, Chris pulled a piece of paper from his jacket and handed it to you. A giggle slips from your lips, wavering the small folded sheet, “Couldn’t memorize it either. Got too much to say…”

Joel relaxes in his stance, thumb circling the back of your palm as he listens, the butterfly wings fluttering into his chest and up to his head, love overwhelming his nervous system across his body. You clear your throat, looking up from the wrinkled white sheet, “I didn’t know that one summer spent at home would completely send me on a whole new life path, but looking back, I am eternally grateful that I wanted to mooch off my parents for as long as possible. That first summer, I fell hard and fast, and despite the obstacles, my love continued to root deeper inside of me and grow out new branches with every memory we made together. I am so lucky to have been welcomed so easily into the Miller household, and I cannot imagine my life with you or Sarah there right next to me. You both have brought so much into my life and thanks to you, J, I feel like I have truly found myself. 

“I was always searching for what I was meant to do, who I was meant to be, and what I would leave behind in my life. And while I went out searching everywhere, the answer was my next-door neighbor. I am meant to be your person, I was meant to care and love and create a life with you, and your wonderful daughter, and I know I will leave behind all my love for you and our family behind. My success does not need to be measured by the reach of my impact, but by how deeply I love you. That is all that matters to me, to make you feel loved and supported and to know how incredible you are. You mean the world to me, and I love Sarah as if she were my own; both of you are my best friends and I could not do this life without you. I am so excited to spend the rest of my days, and the rest of my summers with you, J. I love you. Forever.”

The same routine goes for you, slipping a gold band around Joel’s left ring finger. He flexes with the new accessory on his hand, admiring it before he looks at you, a wide and wild grin crossing his face as he listens as Chris starts to ask him that very special question, “Joel, do you ta—”

“Absolutely I do. No question.”

Laughter rises from the attendees, and you, playfully roll your eyes. Chris nods shortly, chuckling as he turns to address you with the same question. He states your name, inquiring, “Do you ta—”

“Of course, I do. Only been waitin’ years for this to happen.” 

Joel laughs, shaking his head as he mumbles a sweet agreement, “You and me both, baby.”

Chris drops the papers he was reading from next to him on the grass, clasping his hands together, “Well, that made it damn easy for me. With the power vested in me by apparently the state of Texas, but who really knows, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Now y’all can kiss finally.”

A hand presses against the small of your back, pulling you into his chest as he folds down, latching your lips to his in a deep kiss, all of his love pouring into the moment. It takes restraint to not take it further in front of everyone, your intoxicating taste drawing him in and quenching a perpetual thirst he has. You lean back first, fingertips digging into his shoulders to hold him off as you whisper, “Gotta keep some decorum until tonight, Mr. Miller.”

“Hard to do that with you, Mrs. Miller,” he rasps back, matching blindingly bright grins across your faces as you right yourself, turning to face your guests as your brother loudly announces.

“For the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Miller!”

With the low-key, intimate wedding that you both had planned together, there was no real formal separation of the ceremony and reception. Instead, everyone wandered over to the backyard of Joel’s home, which was now yours, too. There were rented tables set up with chairs around, no seating chart, and a checkered dance floor set up in the middle of the lawn. Lights have been strung from his deck to the tree at the back of the property line that holds Sarah’s tire swing, some lanterns strewn about to add more light as the sun sets in the later evening. 

The family-favorite restaurant in the city that the three of you have frequented, even as friends, catered the meal, and your parents, ever so prepared, had stocked up all summer with booze. Your dad plays pretend bartender, getting your now-husband behind the tablecloth-covered folding table and pouring heavy drinks and somehow heavier shots. By sundown, everyone was liquored up enough to cheer for you both to have a first dance, chanting their request over and over.

Joel looks at you from his spot next to you, eyebrows raising in question. His hand at your back draws you closer, starting to sway to whatever song is playing as he grins with a looseness to him, relieved to have you as his for good and relaxed from the alcohol in his blood. “C’mon, Mari baby, I wanna dance with you. M’wife. I got the perfect song.”

“Okay, okay, you go tell Chris what song you want and see if he’s got it on his iPod.” 

You push Joel along, giggling to yourself as he shuffles over to Chris, the makeshift DJ for the evening. Joel leans in, talking in your brother’s ear over the music currently playing. They exchange a smile and nod, Joel laying a hand on his shoulder and shaking it affectionately. His beer gets abandoned on the nearest surface, giddily running over to you and taking your hand. Impatiently, he pulls you to the center of the dance floor, and Tommy intercepts your drink before it sloshes all over the front of you, huffing out a disbelieving breath as you continue to drag behind Joel.

Your husband turns you in his arms, one hand finding your back as the other lifts your joined ones toward his shoulder, elbows bent. Everyone else clears the dancefloor as an upbeat guitar riff sounds out of the speakers surrounding the dancefloor, the bright drums kicking in as Joel starts to shuffle the two of you around the dancefloor, a swing to your movements again.

The familiar lyrics of Orleans’ Still the One that Joel has sung to you many times over the last year are recited right back to you, making you reminisce about the time you were driving in the car to pick up Sarah from camp, a rare afternoon that both of you had off together. The song had come onto Joel’s favorite classic rock station, perking him up in his seat as he turned the volume dial up.

“Oh, Mari baby, this is such a great song.”

Not as familiar with it, you listen, giggling as he sings along with his words pointed at you, and you had to admit, they were pretty sickly sweet. Ever since then, Joel got into the habit of singing it to you, learning to play it after he received his new guitar from you at Christmas.

Dancing with him now, under the sticky heat of the tail end of Texan summer, surrounded by family and friends, he makes you feel as if it’s only the two of you again like it was for every other moment before with this same song.

In your ear, he sings along only for you, pulling away and twirling you as y’all take over the entire dancefloor with how free and loose you’re playing it. “You’re still the one that makes me laugh…still the one that’s my better half…we’re still havin’ fun and you’re still the one.”

At the next chorus, you join him in singing along, laughing at his excitement, both of you singing along louder. The song reaches the guitar solo, and Joel takes both of your hands, swinging you out from his chest before pulling you back in; he spins you to cross your arms in front of you, and your back to his chest before twirling you out. On the last line, when the final word is dragged out, he wraps his arms around you, spinning both of you around until the final chord strikes, setting you down and chests heaving to catch your breaths. Wide smiles still find your open mouths, cheers and whistles from the guests gathered around the dancefloor, now filling the checkered floor as the next song plays.

Breathless, Joel grins madly, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly before asking, “Think we did pretty damn good for unplanned, don’t you, Miller?”

“Damn right, we did, Miller.”

The rest of the evening was all the same, a night spent with your closest family and friends all celebrating the two of you and your love. Both you and Joel shared a dance with Sarah separately, relishing in her unbridled joy and Joel comforted his daughter when she shed a few tears about how happy she was. Your dad pulled you for a short jaunt around the dancefloor, and Joel asked your mom for a dance, which she accepted happily as a stand-in for his mom.

More drinks flowed into glasses and out of bottles, your shoes kicked off and Joel’s jacket and tie discarded onto the back of a chair somewhere. Your cheeks ached from how much you were smiling and laughing the whole time, a weight lifted, the promise of forever with your favorite person now on its way to being a reality.

You both ceremoniously cut the small single-tiered cake that your mom ordered, serving the slice on a plate. Grabbing a piece with your hands, you cheers it with Joel’s, watching as his went into his mouth and laughing as yours went across his cheek. He feigned shock, shaking his head as he looked at you with a glint of mischief in his eyes, taking a step closer. A turn on the ball of your foot directs you in an attempt to get away; failing miserably, misstepping from your level of drunkenness, Joel catches you in his arms. Turning you back around to face him, he steals a purposefully sloppy kiss, buttercream smearing against your lips and chin, the taste of vanilla coating your tongue as it melts into the taste of Joel, whiskey, beer, and sugary sweetness from the dessert.

At the very end of the night, most guests in cabs home or retreat to their homes down the street, it’s left to your closest people. The last song of the night is announced by Chris, the same song that has come up again and again for the two of you trilling over the speakers. Everyone dances and sings along to American Pie, the perfect cyclical moment for the two of you, and the closing moment of your summer. Sarah dances with the two of you, laughing as Joel twirls her around, infectious smiles on their faces. 

Your heart grows in your chest, nearly to the point of bursting as you take a step back in your mind, taking in all of the moment as it surrounds you. In the backyard of your new house, the next chapter of your life starts with Joel and Sarah; right next door is your childhood home, full of love and memories with your parents and brother. Even through the hardships, these places and people have never stopped feeling like home.

The song finishes with a flourish, Joel tucking you into his chest after he scoops Sarah into his arms with a soft groan. Sarah lays her head on her dad drowsily and he presses a kiss to her forehead, mirroring the same on yours; a mumble against your skin is barely heard by you, his drawl exaggerated by the liquor, “Mi Mariposa y mariposita. My lil’ Bug. Love my girls so much.”

Tommy slides sleepy Sarah into his arms from Joel after you two say goodnight to her, the younger Miller brother already prepared the arrangement for her to stay at his on the night of your wedding. You reassure her the promise to meet at Waffle House in the morning, which will likely be the afternoon with the state of the adults. Maria, the designated driver, and Tommy, much closer to sober than drunk than you were expecting, send another congratulations your way before they’re off to the car with Sarah.

After the necessary sweep of cleaning is done between you two and your immediate family, food, drink, and lanterns gathered, they part ways, taking everything back to theirs to deal with in the morning along with striking down the tables, chairs, and dancefloor. In the quiet of the early morning hours, you and Joel stand with your arms around each other, swaying gently. Cheek to chest, Joel’s voice rasps from overuse, vibrating your ear pressed against him, “Was it what you wanted, sweet girl?”

“Everything and more, J. I loved it,” you say as you pull your head away, tilting your chin to look into his eyes, “And I love you, m’husband.”

“I love you more, m’wife.” He shakes his head, biting a smile back, “Don’t think m’ever gonna get tired of callin’ you that, Mari.”

“Me neither. Gonna be callin’ you my husband instead of usin’ your name,” you flirt as your smirk grows and he wiggles his eyebrows, hand drifting down to the curve of your ass.

“Guess we better test that theory, baby.” He grins as he bends his knees, lifting you over his shoulder. His other hand rests on your ass to balance you, your hands pressing against his lower back as you shriek slightly from the initial shock. “Want the whole neighborhood to know m’your husband now. Even if they weren’t invited, so you better be loud, m’gorgeous wife.”

He walks you both up the stairs and through the backdoor, your snort echoing in the quiet of the night, pulling out the ol’ faithful from the early days with him, “Yes, sir.”

second nature

“What do you think about getting a dog?” you ask from your seat on the bed, propped up against the headboard with a book in your lap. Joel pops his head out from the en-suite, brow quirked as he continues to towel off his hair and laugh softly.

“Can’t say I’ve thought about it, darlin’.” He disappears again, hanging his towel on the back of the door before coming back out of the bathroom with a clean pair of boxers on, washed up from his long day on-site. “Have you been thinking about getting a dog?”

A sheepish grin stretches across your face, shrugging your shoulders as Joel gets into bed. He matches your position, leaning back against the headboard and turning his head toward you. He’s intrigued. If he wasn’t, he’d tell you that you could talk about it more in the morning, and then he would give you his honest opinion in the light of day. Never wanting to start a silly argument before bed, always attempting to keep the peace.

Which made him great at compromising. To what you wanted in the first place.

��I’ve been thinking it would be nice for Sarah. Like something to learn responsibility — teaching her to feed it on schedule and take it for walks and fill the water bowl.”

“Yeah, it’ll teach her that I’ll take on all those responsibilities when she gets bored of it,” your husband snorts at his own comment, making you roll your eyes playfully and scoot closer.

“Oh, c’mon, J. Don’t you think it would be fun to have a dog around? We wouldn’t even need to get a puppy if you think it’s too much. But I work at home nannying baby Amelia so I’d be around all day and then when Sarah gets home from school or camp, she can take him or her for a walk. And then feed it before you even get home. Oh! Or you could take the dog to work with you! How cute would that be, you could train him to grab your tools for you.” 

A contagious smile brightens your face in the low lamplight, one that Joel can’t help but mirror on his own face. The eagerness is evident in your expression and your voice, and the proposition doesn’t seem like it would be too difficult of an adjustment. Shaking his head at your suggestions, he laughs quietly while reaching a hair up to smooth your hair away from your face.

“Are you gonna be the one to teach it what all the different screwdrivers are?” 

An excited gasp exhales and you scramble to straddle Joel’s lap, “Wait, are you serious? You’re actually okay with getting a dog?”

Wrapping your arms around his shoulders, you lean back to look at his face. His hands find the curve where your thighs melt into your ass, squeezing gently. Always handsy.

“Yeah, baby, we can get a dog.” Joel groans dramatically when you pull yourself tight against him, hugging him while on hand rubs back and forth at the base of your spine. “I’ve got some conditions though.”

Unraveling from his neck, you stay perched in his lap, nodding fervently. “Anything. Whatever you want, if it means we get a dog.”

“Oh, anything?” he teases with another squeeze of your bum, laughing when you shoot him a look.

“Not what I meant, Miller. Get your mind out of the gutter.”

“Can’t help it with you, sweet girl. My mind’s always in the gutter around you.” The sentiment is punctuation with a tender kiss to your lips and one to your forehead. Calloused palms skate along your bare thighs, humming contently, “Conditions are: has to be a big dog. Don’t want one of those little white dogs or like something that’ll break if we have babies and they’re a little rough with it.”

The forethought he has for your future children warms your heart, and you agree immediately, “Deal. Didn’t want a little dog anyways. What else?”

“Gotta fence in the backyard. I don’t mind putting in a gate for us and your parents to easily go back and forth through, but I don’t want the chance of the dog gettin’ out when we’re all outside.”

“Totally understandable. I’ll even help you install the fence,” you offer proudly.

“That’s real sweet, Mari baby, thank you. You don’t gotta lift a finger though, I’ll bring some of the guys over and pay a little extra and we’ll get it done in a day, no problem.”

“Alright, so big dog, fence. Anything else you’d like to negotiate, Mr. Miller?” you mock a formal tone, turning your nose up. Joel laughs, tightening his arms around your waist and tugging you closer. Kisses press into your neck and along your jaw, pausing inches away from your lips as he makes his final request.

“Dog sleeps in Sarah’s room or downstairs. I like our privacy.” He smirks before kissing you deeply, easily flipping you onto your back and hovering above you. Your legs hook around his waist and he raises his eyebrows, “That all sound fair to you, Mariposa?”

“Absolutely it does. Guess we’re getting a dog, ri—” You’re cut off by his lips on yours again, pressing you further into the mattress with his body weight.

“Let’s save the rest of this for the morning,” Joel mumbles against your skin as he trails his mouth down your neck to your collarbone, “‘Cause right now, I think I’d rather get some pussy.”

He doubles over in laughter at his own joke, forehead pressing against your chest as his shoulders heave. Your fingers comb into his hair, unable to fight quiet chuckles of your own no matter how hard you try to not give him the satisfaction.

“God, you’re such a dork.”

The clock rolls to 3pm as you sit in your car, lined up along with parents of campers. Shrills of laughter and screams echo from the bright, primary-colored playground across the way, counselors attempting to corral the kids to lead them out for pick-up. Air conditioning blasts on you as you fan at the back of your neck, exhaling in the sweltering Texan heat. It’s only the beginning of summer, June barely having turned over, but the temperatures have reached record highs for the year already.

Your stepdaughter. The thought still makes you smile months on, the dynamic between the two of you falling naturally into a closer, more nurturing relationship. Little acknowledgments from Sarah have made your heart sing over the days; routinely saying goodnight to you along with Joel, asking you for permission to go play outside, seeking you out nearly as much as Joel when she has had a nightmare. The pair of you have built routines of your own before bed, you making a promise to Sarah to read with her and to show her your favorite books from when you were her age.

A few nights ago, Sarah had retreated with you to her room, at least thirty minutes before her bedtime to get in another chapter of Matilda by Roald Dahl. The main character reminded you of Sarah’s sweet and spunky personality, and you were so excited that she fell in love with the story and its characters as quickly as you did when you read it for the first time.

Sat up against her headboard, Sarah laid back in your arms and cracked open the novel where her bookmark stuck out, started to read aloud to you in the low lamplight. Mindlessly, you played with her hair as you listened to her confidently recite the words from the page. The day caught up to you, the peaceful moment pulled a yawn from your lungs. Sarah’s words slowed down, her eyes slowly blinking until they closed, which was your queue to slip the book from her hands and mark the spot, and laid it on her nightstand.

When you tried to slip out from behind her to leave her to sleep soundly, she stirred, mumbling the sweetest, “Will you stay for a little bit, Posey?”

And you had no choice but to oblige her request. After getting comfortable next to her, Sarah curled into your side and you pressed a kiss to her forehead, continued to play with her hair to soothe her back to sleep.

What you hadn’t realized was that you also drifted off in her twin bed with her, the lamp still on. Joel was watching TV downstairs, waiting for you to retreat down the steps as you do every night, but no sign of you after an hour had him standing up to go searching. It was quiet when he reached the top of the stairs, no telling giggles or loud whispers to give the two of you away. 

He pushed open the cracked door of Sarah’s bedroom, and was met with a sight that squeezed his heart tight, a sigh exhaled from his lungs. You tucked right next to his little one, and both slept deeply. Without disturbing your rest, he tiptoed over to the nightstand, tugged the blanket up over both of you before he hovered above the bed to press a gentle kiss to each of your foreheads. 

Lamp clicked off, he whispered to your unconscious ears, “G’night, girls. Love you two.”

It was a few hours before your usual alarm when you’d woken up, sore from the small space and glanced around the dark room to discover you had fallen asleep next to Sarah. Carefully slipped out from the covers, you tucked her back in and padded down the hall to your bedroom where Joel was sleeping, a soft snore came from him as he’d starfished out on the mattress. You gently shook him half awake to move him, and he groaned softly at the disruption before he tugged you into his chest and pressed a drowsy kiss to your shoulder.

“Was jus’ too cute to wake you up, Mari baby. My Mariposa and my lil’ Bug…” He hummed sleepily into your skin, hand gently rubbed circles in your lower belly while your eyes close, desperate for those last few hours of slumber. “Makes me so happy.”

“Me too, J. M’so, so happy she’s that comfortable with me. My baby best friend. And you’re my big baby best friend…” You breathed out an airy giggle and Joel protested weakly behind you, a gentle pinch to your side before you both exchanged a quick “love you” and drifted right back off.

The reminder of the sweet moment in the morning from Joel was the highlight of your week.

Climbing out of the car, the engine running and door open, you round the front bumper and stand on the curb to wait. You find her before she finds you, calling out to her to grab her attention, “Hey, sweet pea!”

Her familiar deep brown irises search for the source of your voice, landing on your face and waving excitedly. Sarah checks out with her counselor for the day, scurrying over to you with her backpack bouncing at her shoulders.

“Hi, Posey!”

She collides with your torso, her growth spurts finally starting over the last few months so the top of her head hits just at your chest, and nearly knocks the wind out of you. Patting her back, you laugh and pull her back to look her in the face, “Well, hello to you too, Sare Bear. How was camp today? You ready to go?”

After your greetings, she climbs into the backseat on the opposite side of Amelia’s car seat. You store her bag in the passenger seat with yours before retreating around to the driver’s side, heading off once both of you are secured in your seatbelts.

Flicking your eyes up in the rearview mirror, the two of you catch up, which mostly consists of her recapping the camp activities and excitedly talking about the pool day that’s planned for Friday. As you turn onto your street, Sarah’s brow furrows at the sight of Joel’s truck in the driveway.

“Dad’s home already? That’s weird.”

“Hm, I guess he is. Or maybe he’s just stopped by to grab something he forgot. You know how he is.”

Sarah laughs in agreement as you park your car next to his truck. Both of you get out and head in through the garage, straight into the kitchen where Joel’s standing at the counter eating a sandwich.

“Told you, Sare, stopped by ‘cause he forgot something. Lunch.” You send him a teasing grin as you deposit Sarah’s bag by the door and kick off your sandals. She does the same before wandering past her dad to the fridge in search of a snack. Apple doesn’t fall far.

“What? I can’t happen to drop in hoping to see my wife and my daughter in the middle of my work day? Do I have to have ulterior motives?” Joel speaks, words muffling around the bite in his mouth as you approach the island to stand opposite him.

“Dad, you literally always ask ‘What’s for dinner?’ or ‘What’s cookin’?’ after you say hi to us every day. Your motivation is always to get some food,” Sarah chimes in from in front of the fridge, laughing when Joel looks at her offended.

“See? Even a ten year old recognizes the pattern of behavior,” you confirm your findings, laughing as Joel grumbles to himself and pops the last bite of his sandwich in his mouth.

“Well, for your information, both of you, I am here for an entirely different reason than lunch and to see you two.” He crosses his arms in front of his chest, looking between the two of you with a mischievous smile on his face. “Why don’t y’all go look in the living room and then tell me if you wanna keep makin’ fun of Dad?”

Sarah excitedly starts off toward the living room, giddy about the surprise awaiting her. Your brow furrows and lips twist up in curiosity, eyes staying glued to Joel. He laughs and nods to the other room, a bright smile on his face.

“Better go see, mi amor. Think you’ll want to meet him.” Joel winks, your attention being pulled away when you both hear Sarah gasp from the living room.

“Oh my gosh! Posey, come here! Aw!”

That’s when it registers — the surprise, home in the middle of the day, the smirk, ‘you’ll want to meet him’.

“You didn’t,” you breathe out, head snapping back to Joel as he gives you a wide, genuine grin.

“Go! See for yourself.” He rounds the island and grabs your hips from behind, guiding your steps into the living room. Sarah’s giggles fill the room as the fluffy Bernese Mountain puppy stands in her lap and licks at her face. The small dog’s attention is pulled from her and over to you and Joel entering the room, a tiny bark sounding before he scampers over.

“Joel, oh my god, how did you—when—oh my god…” You kneel down to scoop up the little one into your arms and cuddle it gently, giving it pets before letting him run around again.

“Found someone who had a litter with their family dogs the day after we talked about it. And arranged to pick him up. They said he’s the energetic one, and that he’s gonna be a big boy. Like a hundred pounds.”

“Oh my god, he’s so sweet…thank you, J.” You beam up at him, waving him to bend down and steal a kiss, squeezing his shoulder.

Sarah’s playing with your new family dog, tugging with a rope toy as he fights back with his whole little body. “Thank you, Dad. He’s so cute!”

“What should we name him?” Joel asks as he lowers himself to the floor next to you, smiling as the puppy runs over. The two rough house, Joel easily flipping him over to scratch at his belly as the dog pants happily.

“Any ideas, Sare?” you ask, looking over at her.

She thinks for a moment before looking up between Joel and you, laughing at the tiny pup’s antics, “What about Goose? He just seems like one. Like a silly goose.”

“Goose? I like it, Bug,” Joel confirms, turning to you with a grin, “How about you, Mari?”

Nodding, you look at the new addition to the family, burning bright with happiness at your people’s excitement, “I think Goose is a perfect fit. And now you’re not outnumbered anymore, J. Two girls and two boys in the Miller household.”

Sarah laughs and lays down to cuddle with Goose while Joel moves closer to your side, wrapping an arm around you and kissing your head as he quietly whispers, “Hopefully won’t be too long before the boys are outnumbered again.”

“And what makes you say it won’t be us girls being outnumbered?”

“Call it father’s intuition. Wouldn’t know what to do with a little boy, bein’ a dad to another girl would just be second nature. Plus, I would want a mini Mari running around the world.” Joel presses a kiss to your temple before you turn your head, catching his pursed lips with yours sweetly.

“I’d take anything if it means havin’ a little piece of you forever, J.”

third time lucky

Negative.

A single line, bold and brash, stares back at you. Turning the plastic in your hands, you attempt to read it at different angles, the smallest bit of hope lingering for another line to appear — that it was a trick of the light that was causing your disappointment.

To no avail, the blue strip remains unaccompanied in the small window. A sinking feeling fills your body from your toes up. Everything feels heavier, except your lower stomach. That has never felt as empty as it is now.

Heavy footsteps thump a vibration in the floors, but your focus remains on a speck of dust floating in the light past your field of vision. His presence hangs in the bedroom, milling about, unknowing of what you were up to before he came in from mowing the lawn.

“Hey, baby, m’gonna take a shower and then we’ve got Sarah’s softball game at three. Probably half to leave here around two, her coach asked all the parents to be thirty minutes early for some reason…” Joel’s voice fades in your head as your thoughts start to yell, scream, fight, taunt inside of your mind.

A hard swallow pops your ears, the ringing in them growing louder as your mind begins to wander. The test is left discarded on the bathroom counter, with no heart yet to throw it in the garbage where the others have ended up. Your bare feet shuffle against the rug as you seek out solace under covers, even in the ninety-plus-degree heat. The springs of the mattress shift under your weight, lying on your side facing the opposite side of the bed that lays empty right now. The coverlet is pulled up over you, curling your fingers at the hem tightly, white knuckle grip to release some of the tension that has taken over your mind. You want to scream, cry, yell, question — but what you want most of all is to be able.

Why aren’t you able? Why can’t you do what your body is made to do, what it begs for, what it reminds you that you’ve failed at every month?

Joel stands in observation of you, careful distance, one hand lifting before he drops it. He can guess what this is about. What you’ve left behind in the en-suite. But to confirm his suspicions, he quietly walks into the tiled room, leaving his clean clothes on the counter while he picks up the test.

Negative.

His body sinks, toes up to his head, but with a gaping, empty feeling in his chest. There’s so much room left in his heart, room he is eager to fill with another part of you, another love, another soul to protect. Now, though, all of his emptiness is filled with an ache for you. You’ve been dreaming out loud for a year now, wonderings and visions shared with him late nights and early mornings — Will they have his eyes? You hope so, so that they look like their sister. Who’s ears would they have? What quirks will they pick up from both of you? Who will they grow up to be? How will we be able to contain our love for both of our kids?

Our kids. Joel remembers that night; after you said that, he couldn’t hold himself back, couldn’t contain his love for you. No hesitation that his own was yours now, too. All he wanted was to give you another, to see your belly grow and your smile brighten and your skin glow. He was begging for whatever power was in the universe for that time to take, for both of you to be gifted with what you wished for so often, so deeply.

Desperation. Wavering confidence. Sorrow, worry, dwindling hope. He saw it all over you, time after time when the single line appeared on the plastic sticks.

You and Joel had been trying for a year. A long year. Maybe your desire was too strong, too overpowering. But shouldn’t that be a sign of your love? For each other, for your family? All he wants to do is give you the life you’ve wished for. And yes, all you’ve said you want is a life with him, but anyone who meets you would be able to tell you are meant for a nurturing life. Meant for motherhood.

It was already natural for you, taking a ten-year-old in stride, making her into your best friend — making her a priority over Joel most of the time. He knew it didn’t matter to you that she wasn’t yours, biologically speaking, but he can’t help but want to give you a child that is part you. How badly he wants another piece of you in the world, all of your goodness packaged into the purest soul.

Resigning with a sigh, he sets the test down on the cool countertop and exits the bathroom, a slow stride over to your lying form. Crumpled under covers. With a soft groan, he lowers himself to his knees with cracks popping his joints. His age is starting to show the closer he gets to forty and the more hours he works in the summer weather, another looming factor for him — he’s only known being a young dad. If you two have to wait, what would it be like to be nearly sixty when your kid graduates high school?

Shaking the superficial concerns from his head, his wide palm glides along the quilted fabric draped over your side. He rests his chin on his opposite arm, laying against the mattress close to your pillow. At the coax of his touch, you turn over to face him. Lips pursed in a frown, dried watery streaks being washed anew with your fresh tears, fat and rolling down your cheeks and over the bridge of your nose. They drip off of your skin, dotting and darkening the fabric of the pillowcase underneath you.

Joel leans in, brushing your hair from your face and pressing his lips to your forehead for a lingering kiss. A deep breath draws the smell of your shampoo into his nose, down deep into his lungs where it soothes his aching chest.

“Mari, sweet girl, I know it’s hard. I know we want it so bad, but there’s always another option,” he speaks softly, kindly, delicately, “We can go to that fertility specialist your doctor recommended. I promise, mi amor, we’ll have a baby together.”

He means it, and you can tell he means it. Ever since you had been back together, ever since he confessed his feelings for you — years ago now — he hasn’t made an empty promise. From tiny little things like a pledge to stop on the way home for your favorite ice cream, going to three different stores and adding nearly an hour to his day simply to show up with it for you, to larger, grander oaths, his wedding vows, the promise of building a beautiful life with you.

Emotion is thick in your throat as you attempt to vocalize your concerns. They keep you up at night, with Joel’s warm and expansive hand resting on your stomach right above your womb as he sleeps soundly. He wants it clearly as much as you do; you can feel it each time you’ve tried. How badly he wants to provide this for you.

Is he having the same thoughts as you? Does he wonder if something’s ‘wrong’ with you?

“I wanna be able to do it. Why can’t I do it on my own?” The sound of your meek voice shatters his heart and he shakes his head back and forth, adamant in shutting down the thoughts.

Tugging the covers down, Joel’s hands find your exposed skin, sliding across with a clammy touch from his labor outside. And nerves, too, you’d guess. Moving from his knees on the floor next to the bed, he finds a spot sitting at your side and shifts you to lay on your back. Opening up to him. Warmth rests over your womb, blanket pulled down to the tops of your thighs while his thumb brushes at your stomach, catching on the fabric of your shirt.

“No—oh, mi Mariposa, you don’t even know if it would be you with an issue. Very well could be me. Maybe breathin’ all the paint fumes at work killed m’little swimmers.” He breathes a small laugh through his nose, attempting to lighten the mood.

Your hands fly up to your face, muffling your voice, “Oh, god, don’t say that. I wanna have your baby, not some sperm donors.”

His hand coasts up your torso, over to your side to wrap around your rib cage, feeling your breaths as his fingertips lightly tickle the spot, “That was supposed to make you laugh, sweet girl.” 

Hands falling away from your face, your brow pinches together and your frown deepens. About to make a retort, your mouth open, Joel skates the fingertips of both his hands up and down your sides, alternated on each side of you to make it harder to catch his wrists. Laughter bubbles up from your chest, your frown morphing into a flashing smile before you’re calling for a surrender in between gasping breaths.

Relenting, his hands stop, settling at the curve of your waist. He leans over you, nudging his nose against yours before pressing a ghosting kiss to your lips. A small grin, hopeful and reassuring, with a tinge of worry flickering in his irises, barely there before his smile reaches his eyes, “It’ll happen for us, Mari baby. Why don’t we say, one last go before lookin’ into the doctors? We’ll do all the things, track whatever we need to track. I’ll drop whatever I need to come home and put a baby in you.”

Joel wiggles his eyebrows, playful smirk crossing his expression. You roll your eyes under him, pushing an accusing finger into his chest, “Like you don’t already do that. I could call you in the middle of work and just go ‘Hey, J’ and you’re in the truck on your way home.”

“That’s right, Mari. As it should be. Y’know what they say — happy wife, happy life.” Another kiss to your lips, this one a bit more savoring. “What d’ya say, mi amor? One more go?”

“Okay, yeah. One more go.”

Butterflies kick up in your stomach when you hear the low rumble of Joel’s truck cut, heavy door swinging closed and quick strides following. The front door opens after a short jingle of keys, shutting behind him with the slide of the lock back into place. Distant grumbles of his make you laugh, his frustrations with his work boots floating upstairs to where you’re sitting on the edge of your bed, leaning back on your hands. Clad in only your bra and panties, you work your bottom lip between your teeth as anticipation builds with each of Joel’s footsteps up the carpeted stairs.

You both only have the afternoon — less than an hour of your afternoon, actually — to make your last attempt. Already having taken advantage of the window in your cycle twice, the peak day of your ovulation fell, of course, during the busiest time of year for Miller Construction. Summer has come to a close, and now people have picked up their home improvements to start nesting for the winter; a craving you’ve been having yourself, desperate to make your home larger and livelier by one more. Joel has snuck away for a moment that you two have alone, and you’ve told the couple you nanny for that you have an immovable appointment for today.

Pretty sure the only thing that will be immovable today will be you once Joel’s hour is up.

 “Mari? Mi amor?” he calls out and you chuckle softly at the boyish excitement in his voice.

“In the bedroom, J!”

Joel rounds the doorway into your shared room, stopping a handful of steps past the threshold when he registers the sight of you. He hums a low moan, licking his lips as his eyes devour your lacy undergarments, “Mierda, mi esposa, estás tratando de matarme? (Shit, my wife, are you trying to kill me?) You look so fucking beautiful, darlin’.”

A low whistle leaves his lips as he stalks closer, eyes rake over your form as you present your primped self for his taking.

“You get all pretty for me, sweet girl? I like this…” he rasps as he’s within arm’s reach now, stretching a hand out to toy with the strap of your bra and snapping it against your skin sharply.

“Wanted to look pretty when you fill me up, J.” One curl of his finger under your chin draws you to sit up straight, tilting your head back to look at Joel towering over you.

“Good girl,” he praises, a glint of excitement in his eyes, “You want me to fill up your sweet little cunt, Mariposa? Want me to give you a baby? Tell me.”

“Yes,” you breathe out shakily, eyelids fluttering closed as his hands trail lightly across your exposed skin, ghosting everywhere you need him most.

“More, sweetheart. Dime. Dime cuánto lo deseas. Suplicar por ello. (Tell me. Tell me how badly you want it. Beg for it.)” His instructions float through your head, only keywords translating in while Joel leaves over you, lips pressing feather-light kisses along your neck, across your chest.

“I need it, Joel. Need you so fucking bad, I wanna have your baby. Want you to make me a mom, fill me up as many times as it takes until we get our baby…please, J…” As if the taste of you wasn’t enough to do him in, the wild, fervent look in your eyes intrigues him beyond. Hearing the words from your lips, directed to him, he’s fucking aching. He was growing hard on his way over here, the thoughts swimming through his mind of you laid out and ready for him to take delegating his blood supply to rush down below his belt.

He needs you, but first, he needs to see you unraveling underneath him only from his fingers.

“Don’t worry your pretty little mind, Mari. M’gonna take care of you. I’ll make sure this one takes. Let’s call it third time lucky this summer.” 

He shoots you a wink, your mouth parting to respond. Before you can let any breath escape, his lips are crashing with yours. Heavy, heady, and so fucking hot it spirals your thoughts into nothing. His tongue melts with yours, the taste of his black coffee and the donut he must have eaten at work this morning tingling your taste buds. Sweat sticks to his skin when your hands rest at the sides of his neck, falling backwards as he climbs over you. He smells of wood shavings, freshly mowed grass, and hard work — calloused hands gliding along your body and feeling the softest of scratches of his blue collar hands.

“Joel, need you — please.” It’s more of a whine than a begging whimper, rising frustration levels from his lack of touch in the place you need and want him the most. 

Your cunt is desperate, dripping down your folds and surely soaking the sheets. A quick jerk of your hips attempts to brush against him, to catch any relief for the need building low in your stomach. A large palm presses your lower half back against the mattress, the other hand pushing your leg to the side to open you up further for him. A knuckle brushes your clit, grazing up and down your seam through your soaked panties. Your husband clicks his tongue as he shakes his head at you, patronizing tone slick in his voice.

“Darlin’, I wanna take every second of my time with you. Are you gonna let me? Gonna let me get your cunt squeezing my fingers? Gonna let me fill you up, mi amor?” he asks, as if you wouldn’t say yes to all of those requests and he knows it. Nodding, a desperate yes exhaled when he applies more pressure with his finger against your clit, rubbing slow circles. “Good girl. Siempre tan bueno para mí. (Always so good for me.)”

Joel folds over your, taking one of your perked nipples into his mouth through your bra and sucking. His tongue flattens against the cup before he’s pulling at the nub with his teeth. The material is darkened where his mouth was when he grows a bit more needy, grabbing at the straps and yanking the bra to rest at your midsection. You slip your arms out of the straps and he pushes you further onto the bed by the back of your thighs, stripping your panties off and settling on his knees.

Pressure forms against your clit from two of his fingers, slow circles dragging a moan from your throat. Joel smirks, satisfied with the way you squirm under him, trying and failing to get more from his hands. Before you can vocalize a whine, Joel is over you again, bringing his attention to your now bare breast while the circles continue. Hot, humid kisses are littered on the soft skin, happy hums rolling from Joel’s chest. He pulls his head up, looking down at your chest with a half grin and his dimple on display.

“You’re gonna get so soft and swollen everywhere, Mariposa. Round belly, huge tits—can’t wait to play with ‘em.” His grin widens, boyish and brazen with the glee that the fact fills him with. “You gonna let me, baby? Gonna let me make your sore tits feel better with my mouth?”

His question goes unanswered as his mouth attaches to one of your nipples, sucking and flattening his tongue as he nurses it. Pulling away with a pop, he mimics the same on the other side, the intensity of his suckling along with his fingers rubbing faster against your clit — even slipping down to tease at your entrance — has you wiggling under him, desperation notching up your spine.

“Joel, please,” you plead, choking on your breath when he pulls the bud of your breast between his teeth, a low growling sound rumbling from his throat. 

Two of his thick fingers push into your dripping cunt, a relieved moan echoing against the walls of the bedroom. Curling up into your spongy walls, they thrust quickly and pet at the certain spot inside of you. Joel’s mouth is still at your chest, his hunger feeding itself on the taste of your skin.

“Fuck, Mari, gonna break my fucking fingers off. So fucking tight.”

A distraught whimper crawls from your chest, breaths heaving as your walls clench around his quick-paced fingers. You gasp when he slips a third one in, hooking them up. Despite the stretch, you still feel an emptiness. All you want is his cock inside of you, spilling into you and leaving you to grow fuller with his baby. The thoughts of him above you, fucking it all deeper into you to reach your womb, drive you over the edge. The tips of his fingers press against that spot inside of you, his warm mouth hanging open at your tit while his eyes watch you come undone. Writhing and walls pulsing around his fingers, his name falls from your mouth as you choke out moans and your vision grows dark.

“That’s it, Mari baby, fuck,” Joel works you through the orgasm before his fingers leave you and he sits back on his haunches. Sucking his digits clean of your slick and come, the other hand rubs your thigh gently before he coos down at you, “That was a big one, wasn’t it? Feel good?”

Still coming down from it all, your body feels liquidity, taking whatever form Joel is molding you into right now after he’s stripped himself bare. One hand slips under you, unclasping your bra and tugging it away from your torso, leaving you as naked as him. His eyes drink in your body while his grip holds your calves, chuckling darkly when you finally breathe out a response, “I feel…like I need you to put a baby in me.”

“Cualquier cosa para usted, mi esposa. Vas a estar tan lleno de mí. Te encanta la sensación de mi mecos dentro de ti, ¿verdad? (Anything for you, my wife. You're going to be so full of me. You love the feeling of my cum inside of you, don't you?)” Your head rolls with a nod, agreeing to anything Joel says in the moment, still hazy from how hard he’d made you come moments ago. Half-lidded eyes watch as he licks his fingers, stroking his cock a few times with a quiet sigh. That’s something you could watch all day — Joel’s pleasure. And here underneath him, you have the perfect view, and the perfect position to be used for it.

Fully handing over control to him, his hands tug you up so your ass sits on his thighs while he’s on his knees. Fingertips skate along the distance of your legs, grabbing at your calves to rest them on his broad shoulders. Even the slightest shift forward from his hips stretches you wide, a delicious ache creating a craving for more.

“Tell me how bad you want it, Mari, tell me how much you wanna have my baby.”

Joel’s gripping his length, rubbing his tip through your wet folds. The notches against your clit quiver the already stretched muscles in your thighs, whines replacing words coming out of your mouth.

“Tell me, or I won’t give you what you want, mi amor.”

“I want it so bad, J. I wanna feel you fuck me so full of you, and I don’t want that feeling to leave. I feel like there’s an emptiness and only you can fill it, I want your baby. Wanna have everyone know how good I am for you, carrying your baby like you want me to. I wanna have a part of you forever,” you gasp out the last word, Joel’s cock inching into you. Muscle memory takes over, your whole body relaxing with the knowledge that he’ll take care of you — he’ll always take care of you.

Joel bottoms out easily, filling you to the hilt before he pauses to take a breath. His eyes meet yours and he smiles, sweet and sincere, while holding your shins, “I fucking love you, mi Mariposa. Wanna give you a baby…”

“Pleasepleaseplease—” You don’t know if you’re begging more for him to give you what you want or to move his hips, but in the end, you get both. 

Joel starts out slow, shallow thrusts keeping him inside of you. Grunts from the controlled movements fill the room, your small whimpers following each noise he makes. The sound of him fucking into your cunt captures his attention, gaze zeroed in on where you two meet. Watching the stretch of your tight pussy around his cock, he feels the burning desire for more. To watch you take it deeper, harder.

The next snap of his hips is just that - smacking his skin against your ass before he adjusts, laying you back completely on the mattress and leaning over you. Your legs are still hooked over his shoulders, the burning of your muscles now straining your hamstrings and glutes. His entire body folds you, his head hovering over yours as he fucks into you further. The tip of his cock kisses your womb, the force of his thrusts driving your hips open more for him.

“Gonna — fuck — gonna make you a momma, Mariposa. That what you want? Get fucked so well, be so full of me that we make a baby? Everybody’s gonna know I treat my wife right. With your round belly…swollen—ah—swollen tits. Gonna be so beautiful, and so fucking sensitive everywhere.”

His words only add onto the feeling of his thick cock filling you up, nearly verging on too far and too much. Moans exhale on your lips, his name repeated like a chant with each harsh snap of him into you. Your hands scramble for purchase as his sheer power drives you up the mattress, sheets scratching against your bare back. One set of fingers dig into the meaty flesh of his shoulder, nails pressing crescent shapes like an iron-hot branding.

Above you, Joel studies how your mouth has fallen open, thoughts completely left your mind with how cockdrunk you are. He gingerly grips your chin, holding it to face him and commanding your eyes to his as he pants heavily.

“What d’you wanna make me, baby?” It’s only met with the sounds of his cock dragging in and out of you, the slap of skin as you gasp under him. “C’mon, Mari baby, use your words.”

“A daddy,” you breathe out, your opposite hand combing into his messy curls and gripping tight.

“Say it again. Dime.” Not thinking it was possible, Joel pushes you further, hitting into you harder with each thrust nudging his tip toward your cervix. You might only leave this afternoon with soreness, but you continued to hold out hope for a baby to be the well-worth prize for how you’re going to feel tomorrow.

“A daddy!”

“Dime. Dime. Dime,” he commands and you listen, writhing under him as he hacks away at your shared resolve, throwing you closer and closer to the edge.

“Daddy — oh, fuck, a daddy. Wanna make you a daddy!” You’re yelling at this point, sobs of pleasure wracking your body and you thank god for a split second that the two of you are home alone in the middle of the work day. Surely the whole block might be hearing all of your wanton sounds.

“God, I could get used to you calling me that, Mari baby,” Joel groans and throws his head back, bearing his teeth as he punches his hips into your clenching pussy, the telltale sign that you’re close.

“C’mon, mi amor, give it to me. Come for me and I’ll let your fucking pussy milk me for every last drop. That’s what you want, right? Gotta fill you up and make a baby for my Mari baby.” He’s rambling as you reach your peak, toes curling and coming even harder than your first one this afternoon. 

A near scream pulls itself from as deep as your gut, the sound as if you were in more pain than the absolute pleasure you feel. Your grip on his hair tightens, drawing him down for a messy kiss as you mumble against his lips.

“Please gimme a baby, J. Need it all inside of me, please. Come for me, mi esposo.” 

The name sends goosebumps across his shoulders and trickles down his spine before he’s barking your name once and spilling into you, painting your walls with each rope. He takes a moment to breathe before he gently presses his hips in a few short thrusts, fucking his spend as far into you as possible.

Joel collapses against your torso, no other efforts exerted to move away. Delicate, nimble touches brush the hair from his sweaty forehead, rubbing his shoulders as he hums contently.

“Fuck, baby, might just have to stay inside. Keep you plugged up so I can stay here all day with you.” Quiet, breathless laughter leaves your lips as you shake your head, tracing along his jaw before he turns his head to press his lips into your tummy.

“Can’t wait for you to be a momma. Gonna be the best one ever, y’already are. Love you so much.”

The two of you lay like that for what feels like hours, only to be reminded of Joel’s limited schedule when his cell starts ringing from downstairs. Getting up with a groan, he slips out of you and lifts your hips, stuffing a pillow or two underneath them to keep your lower half elevated. You roll your eyes at the superstitious gesture, gasping when his fingers push into you once more to put his leaking come back into where it belongs.

“Gotta make sure it takes, pretty girl. Wanna see you get all round with my baby in you. Everybody’ll know how good I am to you, huh? Pumping you full of me so much we made a new fucking life…better stay like this until I get home again, Mari baby. Wanna make sure those lil swimmers get all the help they can get.”

“Mm…” you hum, hands grabbing for him to lean over you again. Sneaking a kiss, you pull away to whisper to him with a grin on your lips, “Better get back to work…daddy.”

He snorts out a laugh, beaming a bright smile as mischief glimmers in his eyes, “Mal. Mala chica. (Bad. Bad girl.)”

Three days late. You’ve been tracking your cycle like a mad woman, ticking off days in the notebook next to your bed, and now you’re officially three days late. Joel and you had agreed to wait a few days after you expected your period, hopeful that the extra time meant a more accurate, and desired, result.

The kitchen timer sitting on Joel’s side of the bed ticks away while you side on the edge of the bed. Tapping your fingers against your thighs, bare skin against your fingertips from the high hem of your denim shorts. Joel paces the room, eyes focused a thousand yards ahead. Anxiety and anticipation had been plaguing both of you all day, work slugging by minute by minute, second by second. Joel had left the jobsite as soon as was acceptable, leaving Tommy to wrap up, and swung by the pharmacy to pick up a new box of tests. Your task for the day was to chug water, or any liquid, all afternoon — by the time Joel was one foot through the door, you were ready to burst. Snatching the bag of tests out of his hand, you ran to the bathroom to pee in a plastic disposable cup and stick at least three tests in.

Now, you two are waiting for more seconds and minutes to tick by, added to the tally of the entire day. As you’re about to stand and stop Joel from burning treads in the area rug from walking his tight circles, a trill of a bell vibrating demands your attention. Turning off the noise in a flash, you stand and cross the room to where your husband is now frozen in place. A gentle touch to his cheek, his eyelids flutter close and he takes a long exhale before opening them again.

“Ready?” you ask, uncertainty pitching your voice up.

A minute nod, one shake of his chin, Joel’s hand finds the small of your back as he responds, “Ready, mi amor.”

His hand guides you into the bathroom, and a handful of steps from the three tests laid out on the counter, you turn around, panic twisting your expression. Joel stumbles to stop his collision with you, large palms grabbing onto your biceps to catch himself.

“M’scared, J…” Your voice is meek, cracking with emotion. This is the last shot you gave yourselves, whatever is laid on the counter either means unbridled joy or a long road of poking and prodding in countless doctors’ offices.

The warmth of his hands rubbing your arms and the press of his lips to your forehead coax you to relax, to take deep breaths, “I know, Mari baby, I would be lyin’ if I said I wasn’t scared too. But no matter what is on those tests, we’re in it together, right sweet girl?”

His index finger hooks under your chin to draw your attention up to his face, a small smile filled with love and reassurance stretching his lips.

“Always in it together, J.” You take another deep breath, turning around and nodding shortly, “Okay, now m’ready.”

“That’s my girl,” he mumbles before he’s following right behind you again, the two of you pressing yourselves to each other against the counter. Joel has an iron grip on your hips, nerves manifesting in the squeezes of his hands. Shaking fingers turn over each test before picking them all up to your lines of vision.

Two lines. Two bold lines screaming at both of you, across all three tests.

Positive.

Positive. You’re pregnant. You and Joel are having a baby.

“Holy shit…” Joel exhales behind you, smile creeping into his voice. Somehow, his grip gets even tighter as he turns you around, “Holy shit! You’re pregnant, Mari. We’re havin’ a baby! You’re gonna be a momma!”

Giddiness overcomes both of you, happy and disbelieving laughter while you hold each other in a tight embrace. Joel litters kisses around your face, catching your lips last — all teeth and tight lipped from your matching grins.

“You’re gonna be a dad again, how’s that feel?”

“Like I won the damn lottery, mi amor.”

Another kiss, supple and heavy. Joel pulls away first and shakes his head, pressing his forehead to yours, “I love you so fucking much, Mari.”

“I love you too, J.”

“You ready to go, Sare?” you ask, standing next to her seat at the kitchen table where she’s working away at her homework, reaching a hand out to play with her curls. She smiles and nods, writing down one last answer to a question on her worksheet before she lays her pencil down and stands up, rushing over toward the door.

“Just gotta get my shoes on!” she calls out, and you smile, shaking your head.

“Take your time, sweet pea! God knows it’s gonna take me longer to walk over to the door.” Your joke falls on deaf ears of your husband, who stands at the kitchen island and rolls his eyes before he’s crossing the room over to you. Within arm’s length, his hands cup the bottom of your large belly, leaning in for a sweet peck.

“Nobody cares if you move slow. Better to be careful than—”

“Careless, yes, I know. I think those might be our baby’s first words since they hear them so much from their dad,” you tease and he shrugs, kissing you again while his touch wanders across the flannel of his that you’re sporting, too tired to buy more maternity clothes that you’ll grow out of and opting for his closet every morning.

“Jus’ looking out for my girls. All three of ‘em.” He beams proudly, brown eyes shining brightly before he turns you in his arms, accompanying you to the front door where your near-teenager is waiting. Ever the sweetheart she is, she’s got your purse slung on her shoulder, car keys in hand to pass off to you. You thank her quietly, turning back to Joel as he looks between the two of you.

“Alright, have fun with your girls’ day. And call if you need anything — either of you. I’ll be waitin’ here for ya.” Joel smooths down Sarah’s hair before kissing the crown of her head; she squirms away, the teenage attitude rearing its head in some early moments, especially with her dad. There’s less patience for him, which you completely understand as a teenage girl once yourself. He huffs out a sigh as she slips out the door, heading down the front path toward your car.

“Hey, s’nothing. Teenage girl things. She loves you, and you’re the best dad.” A hand on his cheek coaxes him down to your lips, a supple kiss exchanged before he pulls away and bends to kiss the top of your belly.

“Bye, my little June Bug.” He stands upright again and steals another kiss, mumbling, “And bye, mi Mariposa. Drive safe, let me know if you need anything while you’re out. I love you.”

“We love you too. And m’speaking for the moody one, too.” Joel chuckles and rubs your bump once more before sending you on your way, watching and waving from the door as y’all drive away.

The plan for today had come about when you started to notice Sarah growing quieter, retreating to her room more often after family dinners and denying the chance at movie night some days. Joel had noticed too, but was a bit nervous to broach it with her, not wanting to make her feel bad about being more independent.

Your relationship with her though was much different to Joel’s. There was the foundation of your caretaking role with her, much more of a friend with authority when it was only you two before you were anything close to a parental figure. More open and, well, you could relate more to what she was going through. She confided in you first about girls at school being catty, about her growing crushes on boys in her grade. And this year, only a month after your due date, she will officially become a teenager. It was a strange time in any girl’s life, full of growing pains.

And on top of all of that, add on a new baby arriving. Attentions drawn elsewhere, priorities shifted to preparing for the baby. Sarah never fell to the backburner in your minds, but you didn’t know how she was feeling. Guessing by her quiet actions, you could tell she was feeling left out but didn’t want to stir up trouble.

Always the sweet girl. And you knew how that was.

So, you’d asked her for a girls’ day, excluding her dad from the fun and giving both of you some time with each other to feel like it was years before. It was all about Sarah today, no mentions of baby — no buying diapers or supplies or clothes. A promise made to yourself to make Sarah feel special, because that is exactly what she was. The baby on the way may be your first biological child, but nothing can compare to the unique bond that you have with your Sare Bear.

The day was spent waddling throughout the mall, helping her pick out new outfits and shoes for the end of the school year. Collecting a haul, you two stopped off for lunch and a trip to the nail salon before you finally made your way back home in the evening. Sarah was smiling brightly in the passenger seat, joking around with you and eagerly telling you all about the latest school drama. Your heart was about to burst with how much she’d come out of her shell again all day, even wanting to show off her new things to her dad when you both got back.

In the living room, Joel greets you two from the couch, eyes widening and a low whistle leaving his lips when he sees the damage done, “Quite some shoppin’ there, Bug. Y’all buy out the whole store?”

You wave him off and encourage Sarah to show off her haul, walking over to settle onto the sofa next to Joel. The younger Miller excitedly starts pulling out pieces and showcasing them, excitedly telling her dad exactly where she plans to wear them. His hand rests on your leg, attention completely focused on his daughter in front of him, squeezing you gently when she gets particularly worked up over something. You can tell he feels what you were in the car, heart bursting that she seems like herself again after a day spent with you.

“That’s nice, Sare Bear. I like the color,” Joel comments on the last shirt Sarah holds up, her smile still beaming as she tosses it back into the bag.

“Thanks, Mom actually picked it out! I thought it would be fun to have for camp this year, since I’m gonna start the counselor training program…” Her voice trails off as Joel listens intently. You, on the other hand, take deep breaths to hold it together, the simple moniker rolling off of Sarah’s tongue so naturally. Your heartbeat thumps in your chest, and baby Miller kicks her feet against your tummy — equally as excited.

You manage to keep it calm while Sarah recaps the rest of the day before she gathers up her shopping bags to take to her room. As she’s leaving the room, she’s quick to run over and give you a hug, leaning down to meet you where you sit on the couch. Your belly sticks out between the two of you, but regardless you pull her into a tight squeeze as she says thank you. Her curls bounce as she scampers off upstairs, the quiet sounds of her feet in the hallway queuing your watery eyes to overflow and for your nose to sniffle. Joel is grinning brightly next to you, pulling you into his lap and holding you against him as he wipes the few happy tears away.

“She called me Mom…” you whisper to your husband, afraid to admit it any louder as if it would disappear.

Joel presses his forehead against yours, a sweet kiss against your lips before he whispers back, “You have no idea how happy it makes me to know she feels that way about you.”

“I just…I feel so lucky. And maybe it’s hormones, but oh my god, I can’t stop blubbering. I’m a mom.”

“You’re the best mom. Have been to Sarah since she met you, and you’re going to be the best mom to our little one on the way.”

June 21st, 2009.

The first day of summer.

It’s the first day of summer and you’re stuck inside. Not at home, no, you’re currently propped up in a hospital bed with your legs in stir-ups, breathing in between contractions. Exhaustion weighs on your body, a full hour passing of you pushing in time with the pain in your abdomen that radiates all over. Sweat sticks your hair to your forehead and Joel sitting next to you brushes it out of the way. His other hand is limp in yours, ready to be squeezed with a vice grip whenever you need to push. Joel leans over you in level with your head, lathering on encouragements.

“You got this, Mari.”

“So strong, baby. You can do it.”

“Thank you, mi amor, thank you thank you thank you.”

The last one comes after a string of complaints against him doing this to you — despite you both knowing you begged for it nine months prior — and for having such a big head in his own baby photos that he had to have passed down to the baby.

Another wave kicks in, your doctor and nurses coaching you to give another final push. Putting every last bit of your energy behind the flex of your muscles, groaning out with pain and frustration before a piercing cry fills the room. Heavy, tiny sobs ring in your ears.

“You did it, baby, m’so proud of you. Our little girl,” Joel says in awe, glancing between you and where the doctor holds your little baby girl, summoning Dad over to cut the cord. 

She’s taken away to be cleaned up and Joel returns to your side, ready to help you attentively through the afterbirth. You wave him off, begging him to go keep an eye on your little girl. Once she’s clean enough, the nurses lay her on your bare chest, the sight of her tiny fingers and toes bringing about your own cries. Your hands hold her there, delicate touches brushing against her soft skin and her damp but full head of dark brown hair.

The rest of the process is painful but smoother, shorter. Before you know it, all tests are done and Joel is next to the bed again, wiping a damp cloth across your forehead.

A rush of adrenaline, pure unfiltered need and excitement to meet your daughter keeps you awake, sitting up carefully as you accept her into your arms from your husband who’s wearing the biggest smile. He sits on the edge of the bed, hand on your leg as you study the features on her small face.

“She’s perfect, isn’t she, Mari? Looks like her momma.”

You beam, shaking your head as you place a fingertip against her nose, “See, I think she looks like her daddy. Already got the grumpy brow.”

Both of you laugh, your unbridled attention on the tiny bundle in your arms as you gush over her for minutes longer. Joel rubs your leg, drawing your eyes up to him as he asks, “So you think we picked a good name?”

“I think we picked a perfect name. Our ‘S’ girls,” you grin at him before looking down at your little girl, “Skye Isla Miller. I think it suits her perfectly.”

A bit more time is spent between only the two of you and Skye before you’re itching to see your eldest, and for her to meet her little sister. Joel retreats to where Sarah’s in the waiting area with Tommy and Maria, who’s now three months pregnant herself, waving her to come back with him. She nervously enters the room, quiet as a mouse until you reassure her with a smile and welcome her to sit in the bed next to you.

Joel makes the introductions, voice thick with emotion as he stands over his three girls, watching as his first little one meets his second, “Sarah Elena, this is your baby sister, Skye Isla.”

Sarah quietly asks permission to hold her; you lay Skye in her arms carefully, teaching her how to support her head and where to avoid her soft spot. Sarah picks up on it like a natural, adjusting her little sister when she fusses a bit, finally settling into a new set of familiar hands.

“Dad said you did a really good job, Mom. With everything today. S’pretty cool that you brought a whole person into the world…” Sarah glances over at you with a shy smile before addressing both you and Joel, “M’really happy she’s here.”

“You’re gonna be a great big sister, Bug,” Joel beams with pride as he squeezes her shoulder, leaning over to press a kiss to the crown of your head. He hums as he looks over you three, “Got my Mariposa, my Bug, and my little June Bug. Mi maripositas. Don’t think anything could beat seeing my three girls altogether finally.”

You find yourself observing your family from afar, listening with muffled ears as Joel and Sarah chat about who Skye got what features from. Cheeks aching from smiling, you can’t help but think that this summer was off to the most wonderful start, and that every summer after was only going to get better. 

taglist: @beskarandblasters @undrthelights @swiftispunk @joelsversion @asirenbyanyothername @ellenmunn @ja-ehyun @sw33tp1xie @marisemonteiroo @brunetteeras @bongsrconfusing @addictedtotlou @angie2274 @pedrostories @pedroholic @theelishad @johnwatsn @elissa @felicityofbakerstreet @atinylittlepain @northernbluess @cannolighost @casa-boiardi @wannab-urs @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @fishingforpike @msjarvis @walkintotheriveranddisappear @sugadolly @yazsos @peppesgirl @pastawench @anoverwhelmingdin @wolfbook87 @mswarriorbabe80 @planet-marz1 @kiwisbell @lizzie-cakes

[alevicke]

This is such a weird request but here it is!!

The reader has either disappeared or has been withdrawn for a whirl and nothing that the cast (I.E. Caine, Kinger, Gangle, Zooble, Ragatha, Jan and Pomni) could get them out. Them and the reader being in a romantic relationship also reaction to the reader coming out after what was a while, tired and injured with a baby that had their features.

So basically the reader somehow got pregnant and refuses to let anyone know about the baby in fear they’ll be treated differently or have it taken away or the cast just outright denying responsibility or refusing to take care of the baby.

Sorry for such a long and weird and confusing message, don’t force yourself to do if you don’t want to!!!

Ah this is going to be hard to write! Mostly because it’s going to be all angst to be honest. I doubt anyone would be happy about their partner suddenly going missing and hiding something so important! Due to my roleplay with a friend I’ve thought about similar things every now and then tho so I have some ideas (Parentship is something I love to think and roleplay because everyone is so different in all stages of it <3) 

I feel like Jax, if he has a relationship, loves the person a lot and goes through the pregnancy with his partner would be hella sweet. Still having the urge to run away, but so different from the request. Might write my headcanons of Jax someday...? And Ragatha and Caine would look so adorable... Everyone would be to be honest ;; I need fluff after this angst help

TADC X READER WHO RAN AWAY AND SUDDENLY APPEARS WITH THEIR BABY

Characters: Caine, Ragatha and Jax

TW: ANGST!!! There is no sweetness nor fluff here ;; Pregnancy mentioned. Huh, having problems to accept the child? Also no beta read, I think that's the word. Sorry I'm Spanish and have no one who can proof read my writings ;;

I’m awful writing TWs so PLEASE, if someone knows if I should write something else let me know! MY MASTERLIST 

Caine:

This guy is not pleased when you first disappear. The first few hours he thinks you just need some alone time or perhaps you just don’t feel like being with absolutely anyone so he doesn’t try looking for you too much

But as time and the day passes and you don’t appear he starts to worry a bit more. His vigilant eyes haven’t seen you around either so he starts questioning the others receiving nothing but shrugs. No one knew where you were and some didn’t even care too much (mostly Jax and Zooble who were just annoyed by Caine continuously asking

As days passed Caine passed from worry to complete stress and panic as he kept looking absolutely everywhere for you, even the cellar with abstracted old characters! But you were nowhere to be found. Adventures were now a past thing as Caine passed his days looking for you

But as months passed, he truly came to the conclusion that you, somehow, escaped. It was way more hurtful to think that you, as lover, left him behind. That despite your whole relationship, you decided to escape

And it took him quite a lot of time to try to cheer himself up. Most of the crew realized that he was faking his enthusiasm and happiness

That was until you appeared back again with someone in your arms though…

Caine ran into your arms as soon as he saw you, he was FRENETIC! YOU WERE BACK!!

“God I missed you so much!!! I thought you escaped! Where have you been? Are you safe? Are you ok? I swear to god I looked EVERYWHERE! Believe me, my eyes have seen things that should have never seen looking for you!!!!” You tried to calm him down while slowly showing what was in your arms covered in a soft blanket. A baby, extremely similar to Caine…

His jaw dropped, literally. But he quickly picked it up. It was obvious he was the father… But he truly didn’t think that was possible. He didn’t look so much into the code to know all the possibilities but now looking back perhaps he should have taken a peek at those keeping in mind it was his job.

He didn’t even know how to reply. For one moment, he stretched his arm to the baby to touch it but he didn’t dare to do it. He had so many emotions at the same time. Was he even human? AI? An NPC? No, they couldn’t be an NPC, he had no control nor knew about them until now… 

You try to explain your reasons to disappear but to be honest he seems to not be listening to you most of the time, he is way more focused on the baby. He couldn’t believe he created it despite him creating a whole digital world. That baby was different.

The next few days were a bit hard with Caine. He accepted the baby and was with them the whole time in arms, but when it came to your relationship he felt quite hurt. He had problems trusting you but he was open to fixing everything and retrying the relationship. After all, he still loved you. But the fear of you going missing again was really big

Ragatha

Much like Caine, at first, she thought you needed time or space. It took her even longer to start looking for you because she really likes respecting space and has no problem if you have other things to do or other people to be with. She can be on her own and not bother you. She’s not nearly as clingy as Caine is. 

But night came and you didn’t appear. It was weird, you usually sleep together…

She tried looking for you in your room. But you weren’t there either… That honestly started to worry her but she tried to think that perhaps you were out having fun in the amusement park or the lake and just were gonna come late or something. There was no way of communicating after all, no phone to sell a message or call so she had to trust you’d eventually come back

But the next day your side in her bed was empty. And your bed was also empty, cold… You didn’t appear all night. What’s worse, no one even saw you.

She spent the day looking for you desperately, asking for help as well to Caine, Gangle and Kinger. As her desperation grew, she asked for help to Zooble and lastly to Jax. Not even Jax dared to say anything against helping, taking in mind the situation seemed important or even critical.

But days passed and neither Ragatha nor anyone else saw you. Not even Caine could find you with her eyes which being honest was annoying for him. He liked to keep control of everything and everyone there but you escaped his sights and were no one to be found!

Ragatha’s desperation grew into sadness thinking you abandoned her there alone on her own. Some were even afraid she could abstract hearing her cry despite how badly she tried to hide it. The always smiley and outgoing doll was now always in her room wanting to be left alone. 

As months happened she started to smile again. Sure, she was sad sometimes, but she tried to accept that you left. Much like Caine she thought you found an exit to that hell and she didn’t want to guilt you for that. But she wished you took her with you.

Until you appeared again. 

Just like Caine she ran into your arms, but she stopped just inches before seeing you were hugging something so carefully that you didn’t hug her as fast as she wanted to.

You moved the fabric away to show a small baby with yarn looking like hair in a reddish tone. The baby cuddled into the blanket looking for its warm while Ragatha was looking at them, eye wide open. She didn’t have to be a genius to know she was the mother… Still, she felt insecure “Is… Is that… Are they…? We…? Had a baby…?” She had problems saying the words. But you nodded answering all her questions at the same time “He’s… Our baby Ragatha… I just didn’t know how to tell you and I was so scared… I thought running away was my best option. I was so scared you wouldn’t accept this…” You said trying to get close to her. But Ragatha stepped back

She was insecure, worried and hurt “I spent months looking for you… I thought you ran away, that you found an exit and left me completely alone… And you took away my baby knowing that I had such a motherly instinct and wished I could be a mother… I want to see our kid. But I need time about us. To think about what's going to happen…”

Next days, Ragatha showed up a lot to meet the baby. She was so happy about having one! She never thought it could be possible but she was a mother! 

But things between you both weren’t the same. Ragatha didn’t feel ok being with you anymore. She didn’t trust you and couldn’t help but hold a grudge against you for doing something like that.

She didn’t want to admit it but you running away and making her miss the whole pregnancy and childbirth was extremely painful. You took away the first moments with her baby. And that was not something she could easily forgive

Getting her affection back was going to be hard. 

Jax

Quick Author Note. Hold yourself, this guy ain’t ready for this. A complete stab in his trust. And he's the kind of guy to hold a grudge…

Just like the others he doesn’t pay too much attention when you don’t appear for a few hours. But damn, after the whole day without news from you he’s starting to get kinda upset. Not with you, just that he wants attention and wants it NOW. 

He loves being your center of attention and you being gone for so long was annoying for him 

But day passes, night passes and you still don’t appear. He tries to act cool and make it seem like he’s completely ok with it. But he is internally panicking a bit. He’s looking for you anywhere and even tries asking for the others “casually” to see where you are but no one knows anything. 

He looked for you at the amusement park, at the lake, in every single room in existence in the tent, he even had keys of the locked doors. BUT NOTHING. You were just… Gone?

And he was so confused…

He truly thought you abstracted and for some reason Caine didn’t want to tell him. He had so much trust in you he didn’t want to believe you would escape that place without him. He was an asshole after all and you accepted him, why would you do that now? 

So since then, he stopped trusting Caine. He didn’t want to believe his words no matter how much Caine said he didn’t put you with the other abstracted characters. He spent months like this hiding sadness in his room. He was way too proud to show his weakness after you left him there. He thought you were gone for real…

That’s why the moment you showed up there took him so by surprise that he didn’t know how to react. He didn’t want to believe his eyes. You were back? But… He thought you abstracted. 

He approached you, slow at first. Then quickened the pace until being in front of you. But he didn’t expect to find you holding something so close to you

You open the blanket showing a light purple bunny much like him. No smile on the baby, but being fair, there was no smile on Jax either. The cocky smile was completely gone. Lost. His mind was nothing but a blurry mess of collapsing thoughts and words. He didn’t know what to think…

“Jax… I just… I didn’t know how to tell you… I thought you would get mad and not accept them… I was so scared…” you truly meant it. But something inside Jax broke as he realized what happened

“You… Ran away because you got pregnant?” he asked, receiving a slow scary nod from you.

You tried to explain yourself while he stood quiet, but he had enough. He stepped back “No? You just- You just don’t *bleep* do that?! I thought YOU ABSTRACTED?! But you were just running away from me because you didn’t trust me to have a baby together!” Jax finally bursted in anger. He never raised a hand, of course, but he sure was pissed by the situation

��Jax, listen, it’s not that I didn’t trust you, it’s just-”

“NO. I had enough. I don’t want to hear anything from you nor the baby. As far as I’m concerned, you lied to me. That could pretty much be an NPC to regain me after being doing whatever knows what during months. You have *bleep* lost me” With that, Jax turned away from you, leaving you behind with a crying baby after the storm.

With the incoming days, Jax left it clear, he didn’t want to know about you anymore. The relationship was over with no way of fixing it. You destroyed his trust.

And every time he saw the baby he had a huge urge to run away. He wasn’t there during pregnancy, he wasn’t expecting this. The baby just came out of nowhere and he sure wasn’t having it easy to accept it. He never asked to be a father. He didn’t even have a relationship to share this experience with anymore. Just a broken heart and a crying creature. He didn’t want to be involved in any of it

It took months for Jax to finally approach the baby at all. Seeing the baby reminded him of the betrayal he felt you made him. So he didn’t want to be with them at all

It probably takes more than a year or even years for Jax to accept the kid and be their father. But the relationship, as he said, was over. 

[jehan-d-art]

my personal omegaverse headcanons for Jack and Joker (in my omegaverse stories alphas and cis male betas can impregnate people, omegas and cis female betas can get pregnant):

Jack - alpha (never really cared about being an alpha but learned to use it to his advantage that people describe him as a ruthless alpha; he has a slight tendency for feral behavior whenever he is in rut which he is slightly ashamed of)

Joke - alpha (he tried so hard to be a good son and alpha in the eyes of his family but eventually just stopped trying)

Tattoo - alpha (though him as a beta would also be interesting; however I like the idea of him having caught a bit of Aran’s scent even despite all of the omega’s scent blockers when Tattoo took the necklace off of Aran... I like the idea of them having felt a connection right then and there without acknowledging it for ages)

Aran - omega (though he keeps it secret because he tries to live as a beta, he masks his scent and has suppressed his heats for ages... of course I'll be writing a fic about him starting to subconsciously build a nest at Tattoo’s place once he feels comfortable around him)

Hope - beta (here, I really am not sure whether he could not also be an omega, like Aran, who hides his true identity; I like to think of him as a beta in a profession that is usually full of alphas so that Hope is made to prove himself again and again but ultimately the only person's opinion of him that matters to Hope is that of Save)

Save - beta (there was a time when he desperately wished he were an omega so that Hope and him could start a family though all in all, considering their life circumstances, he is glad he cannot -accidentally- end up pregnant; he wouldn't want to put either Hope, a theoretical child of theirs nor himself in danger)

Hoy - beta (I cannot decide whether he could be an omega or a beta, tbh, I just think he needs a stunning older alpha girlfriend either way)

Jack's grandma - omega (she is ready to kick some ass, especially those of alphas who do not take her seriously and a certain former rich kid omega gets adopted by her, just like she adopted Joke. however, she is so happy to have another omega in the family now and she helps him get in touch with his neglected omega side, she will later on even give both Aran and Joke her family recipes for omegan courting dishes so that they can properly woo their alphas... she has so many adopted grandchildren now and even a great-granddaughter so I kind of want her to be the leading omega of her ragtag/adopted family pack)

Rosé - omega (to me, she seems like a traditionalist omega, who never learned that she herself could achieve a lot even without an alpha mate)

I'll add more characters once I've actually decided on what I think they could be

[theyanderespecialist]

Mouthwashing Yanderes: Various Yandere Mouthwash Headcanons/Scenario (RULES AND REQUESTS OPEN!!!)

[Hello, My Sexy Muffins here are the rules! Follow them!  FOR TUMBLR USERS!!! PUT REQUESTS IN MY ASK BOX PLEASE!!! 1: No Characters/My or My Co-Author OCs/Readers under the age of 18 (Yanderes are NOT Made for kids)  2: No NSFW Scenes on Wattpad (Them the rules) Will be posted elsewhere (Cannot say where cause TOS) 

3: Any sexuality for the Reader/In-Game Characters is okay! Such as: 

Gay Curly 

Lesbian Anya 

Bisexual Jimmy  Asexual Reader  Poly Reader  etc anything is good (EXCEPT FOR ANIMAL FRICKERS AND CHILD DIDDLERS YOU CAN FRICK OFF)  

4: Any Gender is fine for The Reader/In Game Characters is okay! Such As:  Trans Man (AFAB/MTF) Curly  Intersex Daisuke 

Female Jimmy (Genderbent)  Male Anya (Also Genderbent)  Genderfluid Reader  Cis Reader  Non-Binary Reader  ETC pretty much anything is good (DO NOT MAKE A MOCKERY OUR OF ANY GENDER!) 

5: Almost any Ship is allowed (AS LONG AS YOU ARE NOT ILLEGAL OR GROSS ABOUT IT AND YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! YOU DIRTY, FLAKY, BISCUITS!) Such as: 

Yandere Jimmy X Darling Curly 

Yandere Jimmy X Darling Reader X Yandere Curly  Yandere Crew (All five) X Darling Reader 

Yandere Crew (Four) X Darling Anya  and so on.  6: No racist, homophobic, transphobic, or any bigoty poo 

7: NO SPAM 

8: If I say no to an idea that is that! Respect it or leave! 

9: You can do anything special to the reader or characters like:  Chubby Reader  Pregnant Curly  Omega Anya  Soulmate Reader  Blind Reader  Stalker Jimmy  Etc (Anything that makes your stuff stand out yes, yes, yes TELL ME SO I KNOW WHAT YOU WANT!) 

10: I will Do Alternate Universes as well such as:  Alpha/Beta/Omega Soulmate Universe  Mars Settlers AU  College/University 

Pre-Game Canon and SO MUCH MORE!!! 

Please be specific on what you want which means remember to add the characters/readers: Gender, Sexuality, anything Special/Specific, and if It is an AU and SO ON! Be specific, please!

---Ones Not On Wattpad Version---

12: Robot/Alien/Monster Fucking/Relationships Is Allowed Such As:

Turning a character into a cyborg or robot version

Having crossovers with other aliens like a Xenomorph From The Alien movies or Predator

And Monster fricking with turning a character into a fantasy or supernatural monster (Mostly with fantasy au) or tentacle Porn/Porn with Plot!

(THEY HAVE TO BE SAPIENT THOUGH!)

13: (Not On Tumblr for this one either)

14: Will do Non-Con/Dub-Con (Not Always one shots but you get the idea) things like forced pregnancy, kidnapping, drugging, consensual non-consent, Ect!

15: Almost anything is allowed so don't be afraid to ask (Unless it is kiddie stuff or animal fricking then you can go to hell!)

[YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS another chapter is done! I hope you all enjoyed this and stay sexy, all of my sexy muffins!] 

[marsbutterfly]

I for one am delighted to see someone opening up AOT requests! I feel like I haven't seen anyone do so for a very long time.

I'd love any kind of short one-shot about Reiner with an s/o who doesn't want kids, like maybe y/n confessing to not wanting children and him actually being cool with it?

I get a little bummed out when so many Reiner things talk about him wanting children more than anything. Like, obviously fics and headcanons about him wanting kids are fine, but I don't think I've seen anyone (with exactly one exception) talk about him being content just to love and be loved by an s/o. One person even told me point blank that Reiner wouldn't be happy in a relationship with me if I don't want kids. Sheesh.

Yeah, We've All Heard That Before

Summary: One simple question from your future mother-in-law first thing in the morning is enough to derail your entire plans for breakfast.

a/n: hey zeki! it's been a while! thank you for sending in your request and for answering my questions. I hope I did it justice in some way ♡

warnings: just fluff, fem!reader, kissing, mentions of pregnancy, slight jeanpiku if you squint, reader doesn't want kids, mentions of anxiety, not beta read (we die like men ♡)

wc: 2.7k | wattpad! | ao3!

“Apparently, Pieck is pregnant,” Reiner says as he flips the pages of his newspaper. The rain pouring outside sets the perfect atmosphere for a cozy morning: no meetings, no angry phone calls, and especially no being apart from him. His voice is a bit raspy, telling you that he is struggling to stay awake but his efforts don’t go unnoticed.

“I will bet you $50 right now that it’s Kirstein’s,” you respond in the same tone of voice, a small hint of playfulness hiding behind the seriousness of your features. Even though you are facing the counter, focusing as you prepare your morning coffee, you can still hear Reiner choking slightly on his tea, a laughter muffled by the sounds of his coughing and you can’t help but smile to yourself.

“Alright, I’ll take that bet,” he says after taking a couple of minutes to compose himself, enough time for you to start making some pancakes for breakfast. As soon as you hear his voice, you turn around to face him, your hand firmly gripping the handle of the pan, “I think it belongs to the boy who works down at the docks. He is always bringing her flowers when we come back from our trips and I’ve seen her sneak a couple of glances in his direction.”

You can’t help but laugh, “I don’t think she even remembers his name, but you got yourself a deal. Easiest $50 I have ever made.”

It’s Reiner’s turn to laugh, a delightful sound you grew more and more used to hearing now that the two of you were living together. Life after the rumbling wasn’t easy. While he found himself being an ambassador and dealing with business regarding the isle, you were quite happy making a life for the two of you back in what used to be Liberio. Though you had been spending most of your time alone, the moments you had the chance to be with Reiner truly were magical.

A comforting silence fills the kitchen, the only sounds you can hear are casual sippings coming from the table and the hissing of the pancake mix against the pan. For years, all you have ever wanted was to spend peaceful days such as these with the man you love. It has taken a while and the near destruction of all life on Earth, but you can finally relax and make him some breakfast.

You flip the pancakes a couple more times to make sure that they are perfectly golden on both sides before placing them on top of the stack, a bottle of syrup next to the plate. You readjust the stack slightly before turning around and taking a couple of steps forward, placing the plate in front of Reiner and for a second you could have sworn that you heard his stomach growling.

“Thank you, sweetheart,” he says, a massive and gentle smile stamped on his face and you nod, making your way back to the stove to prepare some sort of breakfast meat. Though you fully expect him to start digging in, you can hear the chair moving backward and his heavy footsteps making their way toward you. 

A quiet giggle escapes from your chest once his hands find their way to your hips, pulling you closer to him. His breath on the back of your neck causes a few goosebumps to rise and you lean your head backward against him, “that tickles.”

The two of you stay in silence like that for what feels like forever and like not nearly enough time. His breathing is steady against your skin as he takes in the comforting scent of your favorite body wash. You can tell there is something on his mind that he is struggling to find the words to express, so you just wait patiently until he is ready.

Finally, he takes a deep breath and says what he’s been meaning to.

“My mother asked me the other day if we ever plan on having kids of our own,” he says quietly but, in that moment, you feel like he screamed the words at the top of his lungs. Your body goes stiff against his touch before a few trembles erupt, some of them nearly strong enough to cause you to drop the pan in your hand. Of course, this sudden shift doesn’t go unnoticed by him and he immediately tightens his grip around you, “Are you ok? Do you feel sick? Here, maybe you should sit down for a while.”

"What did you say?" You try to pretend the comment hasn't impacted you as much as it did, but the faltering in your voice is clear evidence that something is wrong. Your vision clouds slightly and you can barely make out his figure standing not too far from you.

The truth is that, even before you and Reiner got together, before you even met him, you had decided that you had no interest in having kids. Sure, the thought did cross your mind once the two of you started dating, but ultimately you decided that this life was not for you. The topic never quite came up so you didn’t have a reason to tell Reiner about it.

So now that the moment has come, now that it is time to have this conversation, you can’t help but panic. You have had this discussion in your mind a thousand times, overanalyzed every possible scenario, every little reaction he might have, and even planned out spots where the two of you could talk. But the kitchen first thing in the morning was not on your list.

His grip on your waist is firm as he guides you towards the dining table at the edge of the kitchen, your legs trembling slightly as you take several unsure steps. At this point, you aren’t even sure anymore if your body is the one doing the walking or if Reiner is just carrying you toward the seat.

There is a panic in his eyes that you haven’t seen in years and it makes your heart ache, “let me at least get you some water.” As he pulls away, your desperate hands grab hold of the edge of his shirt, your eyes fixated on the floor as he stands in place, unsure whether to turn around to face you or to continue moving towards the fridge.

“Stay,” you whisper and he nods. Silence once again fills the room, like the world might end if you even open your mouth to say a single word. Your heart beats a thousand miles per hour, 

He takes a seat next to you at the table, one hand touching your thigh while the other holds your own, his thumb brushing above your knuckles in a feather-like touch. His sheer presence is enough to soothe most of your worries, your anxiety melting away. Until he begins speaking again, that is.

“Please, tell me what is wrong,” he begs. The desperation in his eyes is genuine and you can see that he means well. The sound of his voice is so gentle, you could nearly mistake it for a lullaby. When your eyes remain on the ground and no words leave your mouth, he continues to plead, “I want… I… You can trust me. I love you so dearly. Have… Have I done something wrong?”

You widen your eyes and you desperately shake your head. The thought that he is blaming himself for how you are reacting to the situation nearly breaks your heart, the lump in your throat grows by the second as the words keep dying before they even have the chance to come out. 

“Y-You don’t understand,” you stutter, your body is still trembling and your voice is faltering, but you can’t let him feel guilty for something he didn’t do, “It’s not you! I-It has never been you!” “Then, please…” He flashes you with those hazel eyes, a wave of guilt and overwhelming love rushing over your body with every single beat of your aching heart, “Talk to me.”

“I’m… I.. R-Reiner, I…” You stutter, unable to fully express your emotions to him for the first time in who knows how long. But when he notices the slight tremble in your hands, he moves closer, his fingers lacing with yours before he places your palm above his heart, the careful beating slowly soothing your nerves, “I’m not sure… No, I AM sure that I don’t want children.”

In response, he lets go of your hand and stands up, taking a step back. You can feel your heart about to shatter, the tears threatening to fall down your face and your knees about to give out, but he lets out a laugh, a heartfelt laughter that comes from deep within his throat.

He finds himself bending over the table, his stomach hurting from laughing as he smacks his fist against the surface. You go through several emotions at once and so many questions go through your mind:

Confusion: “Why is he laughing? And why is he laughing so hard? Is the thought that you wouldn’t want kids so funny to him that he has to laugh to keep himself sane? You knew Reiner had always wanted children, but you hadn’t realized he wanted them bad enough that it would diminish his love for you?”

Anger: “Who the hell does he think he is to be behaving this way when you just shared such personal information and something you had kept to yourself for as long as you can remember? Does he think you are worth less just because you don’t want to be a mother? Or is he acting like this because you, God forbid, remind him of his own mother?”

Sadness: “Are you not good enough for him? Is he under the impression that your love for him can only be measured by how much you would like to have his children? Is he suddenly like your family, who always assumed you would change your mind whenever you fell in love with the “right man?”

Confusion again: “Why the FUCK is he laughing?”

You clench your jaw, fists tighten as your nails nearly dig into your palms, you can feel your face heating up while tears of frustration burn in your eyes. You want to yell at him, to give him a piece of his mind and storm right out of this kitchen, maybe even throw the pancakes at his face, but before you have the chance to do anything, he speaks.

“That’s it?” He asks, his certain footsteps in your direction closing the distance between your bodies before his meaty arms come crashing against your waist, “Oh, I thought you were going to tell me that you don’t love me anymore or that you had an affair. No, I don’t care about having kids.”

His words catch you off guard, the whiplash being so intense that you find yourself stumbling backward towards the chair once again before taking a seat. Your voice dies in your throat repeatedly before you finally gather up enough courage to speak, “B-but… I’ve seen the way you act around children, the way all the women around us are constantly telling you what a great father you would be.”

Moving at a gentle pace, almost as if you were an injured and scared animal, Reiner takes your hand in his, his thumb gently brushing above your knuckles as his warm smile never falters. You can tell he is doing the best he can to bring you any sort of comfort in this moment and you can’t help but allow your heart to be filled with gratitude.

“It would be nice to have a kid of my own, especially after basically raising Gabi and Falco but,” he brings your hand up to his lips and plants a gentle kiss on your skin, “I would only ever want a child with the woman I love and, well, that happens to be you.”

You can’t help but allow a small sob to leave your lips, a sudden wave of guilt about to rush over you, a fear that you are holding him back from having something he had always desired. But before your spiral can get too far down, he brings one of his hands towards your cheek, his fingers brushing a couple tears out of the way as he continues to speak.

“A child between us is theoretical,” he whispers, “but the love I have for you is the most real thing I have ever known in my entire life. And if having a life with you means no kids, then that’s fine by me. The only thing I have ever needed has been and it will always be your love.”

His hand gently touches your cheek, the warmth of his body calling your name as you take a step closer. Your arms gain a mind of their own and immediately wrap themselves around his neck, earning a delighted and approving hum from him. His palms move from your face as they find their way towards your waist, holding onto the bones of your hips tightly.

“Can I kiss you?” He whispers, desperate for your consent, a hint of fear behind his deep voice. You nod, a smile taking over your features as you place your forehead against his. He tightens his grip around you, enough that it might leave marks, terrified that you will disappear the second you are out of his reach. 

The minute your lips touch, the whole world seems to stop. Your kiss fits together like two pieces of a perfect puzzle, meant to be together side by side as they form a clear picture of happiness. His beard prickles your face and usually, you would consider the feeling a nightmare, but for some reason, it feels ever so comforting at this moment.

The tip of his tongue brushes against yours, teasingly asking for entrance. Not an ounce of sexual tension between the two of you at this moment, just two souls who were meant to be together, two hearts that beat at the same pace.

Reiner’s lips are soft, a direct contrast with the roughness of his hands. His blonde hair gently rests against his forehead, though it does touch your own the deeper the kiss gets, tickling your skin in a comforting manner. His breath tastes like toothpaste still and that is the only thing that serves as a reminder of the freshly made breakfast that awaits the two of you.

So you pull away reluctantly, still peppering his lips in kisses before you take a seat at the table. You can see a pout forming on his face but, when you point at the food, it immediately turns into a warm and excited smile.

“Is there a reason why you don’t want kids?” He asks, taking a seat at the table and taking a sip out of his drink. You lift your eyes to meet his, his hand scratching his chin and you can hear the scratchy sound of the small patches of beard that are beginning to form around his face. There is no judgment whatsoever in his voice.

“Not really,” you respond, bringing the coffee mug towards your lips while handing him the syrup, “I just never found the idea appealing. Do you think your mom will have a problem with that?”

He thinks for a moment before shaking his head, “I think she understands the feeling of ‘not wanting to be a mother’ better than anyone I know.” There’s an underlying hint of sadness in his tone, the air filling with the sounds of the fork and knife colliding against the plate as he takes a bite of his food, so you rub your foot against his shin. Once he swallows and flashes you a smile, he continues, “Besides, it’s not like it would be her baby, anyway. She’ll learn how to deal.”

You can’t help but chuckle, a warm sensation forming in your chest as you realize just how much he loves you. Reiner loves you just for who you are: every flaw, every talent, every random knowledge you tell him at three in the morning, every little detail. To him, you are and will always be more than enough.

[omegaverse-seeker]

I don't know why but I have in mind a Poly A/B/O pregnancy idea but the beta is the pregnant but them hide it for the scare of they Omega could see them as a menace and the alpha could reject them or the pup

That's actually really sad. 🥺

I hope being in a mutual relationship (I'm assuming) they'd be able to communicate with one another.

I hope that when the Beta finally tells their partners, their partners are all over them! Like the Omega is sad at first that the Beta could even think that they were getting pregnant outta malice, they'll quickly be all over the Beta. Making them a nest and being at their beck and call. The Alpha would equally be sad that the Beta could think otherwise of them. They'll go into hyper protection and lovey mode once they are told.

[possumsinpeoplesuits]

So, every once in a while, I have to rant about something online before I just start blabbing to some poor unfortunate Wendy's employee about niche internet pornography. Sometimes in the middle of that rant I realize I might be onto something, and have to share it with others who might benefit.

Today, that subject is the Omegaverse, and the squandered potential for worldbuilding therein.

Now, this post is gonna have some very broad generalizations about the genre, because while I'm certain there's plenty of authors who do put a lot of thought into the pedantic details I'm about to have a Category 5 Autism Event about, it's been difficult to find them amongst a sea of painfully mediocre fics.

For every stellar Locked Tomb Omegaverse fic set in a modern day Taco Bell (Seriously, I want to engrave Double the Meat onto a satellite and launch it into space so that extraterrestrials can see the peak of human civilization) there's like... a million and one Alpha Male/Omega Female pairings written by Conservative Mormon housewives that dare to ask such questions as "What if a man and a woman could have a baby?" and "What the hell is consent?"

But I'm not here to be mentally ill about yet another space being drowned in heteronormativity. Nor am I gonna be a dick about the first fics written by teenagers who're just dipping into fan communities, because my terminally online since the age of 11 ass would be a huge hypocrite for that.

No, instead I'm here to talk about genitals, and deliver just enough sciencey technobabble to justify my passionate opinions about the potential of what is, ostensibly, werewolf porn.

So, for those who've somehow gotten through all these paragraphs but have zero idea what the Omegaverse is, the basic gist is that there are three sex categories that're separate and occur within the usual sexes that humans already have. Effectively, this means that male, female, and intersex individuals can also be Alphas, Betas, or Omegas.

So, to understand these categories, there's a pretty simple rule. Alphas can get Omegas pregnant, regardless of physical sex. Sometimes Alphas are bigger than normal, and Omegas are more petite, but that's not quite as much of a core "rule" to follow, and more just dependent on people's tastes. Betas usually follow standard human dimorphism, though I have seen some people headcanon them as a sort of halfway point between Alpha and Omega.

There's some more details, too, like the presence of knotting (where the base of the penis swells and prevents pulling out during orgasm), heat cycles and rut (where the mating instinct goes into fucking overdrive in the most literal sense), pheromones, bite marking, and sometimes that whole... imprinting thing from Twilight.

So, taking this all into account... Omegaverse fiction has the potential for a BARE MINIMUM of 6-9 SEXES before even taking the vast spectrum of gender identities and presentations into account.

Do you see what I'm on about now? When our society is still struggling with the concept of being nonbinary, and barely ever even acknowledges intersexuality as existing, any Omegaverse setting would be radically different on a biological, psychological, and sociological level.

Can ya see now why I get frustrated when it gets stripped down to compulsive heterosexuality with wolf dicks?

Now, with all the standard tropes laid out like this, we get back to the question that started this all, the question that should be a no brainer when it comes to smut... What them genitals look like? What does a female Alpha, or a male Omega have down there? I have three concepts in mind, and explanations on how they could work from a scientific perspective that's just barely not bullshit enough to overcome suspension of disbelief!

So, the first thought, and the one that initially appeals to me as a nonbinary person... they just look trans. This concept is really simple to work with, because we can just look at real life trans people and just tweak things a little bit. Maybe primary and secondary sexual characteristics operate independently naturally, or maybe there's HRT for it. It's a pretty common method, too, and I enjoy seeing it... but it feels like it needs something more?

Don't get me wrong, this one's basically my personal gold standard for shorter Omegaverse stories, especially fanfiction, but it's also just... swapping parts around. Great for ease of access, but hard to differentiate from the trans experience. Definitely a go-to if you want to play with transition in an alternate society, though.

For the other two, I have to explain a bit about fetal development and reproductive organ equivalents. Also a bit of genetics, too, because it's where we're gonna fuck around and build a lot of theoretical bullshit around a little bit of real knowledge.

So! Some of you may have heard that every fetus starts as female, but might not know some of the mechanisms at work when that changes, and how finicky they can be. This is also fun to throw at TERFs, because ambiguity throws a wrench in the simplistic arguments of reactionary bigots. :)

So, the usual arrangement of sex determining genes is often simplified to XX=female and XY=male. This leaves out other variations like Klinefelter syndrome (XXY) which affects 1 in 500 people under the AMAB umbrella, causing some degree of infertility, autism symptoms, and a somewhat androgynous body shape. (I've been checked for this one! It came up negative, but reading about it was enlightening.)

Now, the presence of a Y chromosome (usually) causes the proto-organs to change function, and develop into the male-aligned reproductive systems at roughly, say... 6-8 weeks? (Unless, of course, there a deficiency in the 5α-Reductase enzyme, which causes a delay in some of this process, resulting in a child that appears female, then just... grows a dick during puberty when the higher levels of testosterone overcome the deficiency and finish off the primary sexual trait development.)

Hey, wanna know the fun thing? Even that is an oversimplification. The whole Y chromosome doesn't mean shit unless the sex-determining region Y gene is in the right place. It can just... fuck off and attach to the X chromosome. If this mutation occurs in XY individuals, it causes Swyer's syndrome, resulting in a female aligned reproductive system that just doesn't include functioning ovaries, just purposeless ambiguous gonads. Pair that fucky X chromosome with another X chromosome, and you get a male with XX chromosomes.

Plus, if someone has a faulty androgen receptor? Well, partial androgen insensitivity can leave things ambiguous, but if it just doesn't work at all? Yeah, everything will develop along the female blueprint, despite the fact that the gonads are testes.

I swear this is still about the porn.

So, with the information we have about these real, existent conditions, we have a good idea of reproductive development, and the mechanisms at play. Now, there's still some theory that's not been definitively proven yet, but the current consensus on the primary sexual equivalents are as follows:

The clitoris forms into the penis, while the vaginal canal doesn't form.

The ovaries become testes, or stay as undefined gonads.

The salpinx become the vas deferens (these are the tubes that transfer eggs or seminal fluids, respectively. More on this later.)

And finally, and the most theoretical, the uterus is believed to become the prostate. (There's sometimes a little pocket, or divot in the prostate, and the arrangement makes sense, but it's still up for debate.)

But how do we use this for our fuck fics, you ask? How do we take your failed medical career, and translate it into Destiel's babies ever after? Well, it's quite simple! We just have to add the bullshit!

So, most alterations to the SRY gene or the androgen receptor tends to just wholesale alter the whole array, and the midway point usually results in infertility and difficulty with sexual function, but what if we could change this? What if, for the purpose of our fiction, we can mix and match everything, and somehow make it all functional and neat? Well, fasten your fuckin' seatbelts, because we're finally at the theories I made while delirious due to a combination of sleep deprivation and the after effects of eating an entire ice cream cake to myself over the weekend.

So, the firmest idea, and the idea I'll be using because I am WAY too deep into this to not write Omegaverse unironically, is what I've dubbed the Primary/vestigal system for f!A and m!O characters.

So, this theory would require that we shove two things into suspension of disbelief. One, we have to completely fuck with androgen and estrogen receptors to mix and match the development of primary and secondary sexual characteristics. Two, I have absolutely no idea how you'd be able to tell when this is going to occur. Maybe genetic testing, or maybe it's just a surprise? Depends on your style of story.

Effectively, we'd base this off the delayed primary sexual characteristic development mentioned above. Alpha Females would operate similar to the real thing, being born looking typically female, before puberty hits and the Alpha genes take over for the genital development, while secondary characteristics still follow a feminine shape. Maybe the gonads stay inside, but function as testes? Sure, sperm production is more effective around 1-2 degrees lower than normal body temperature, but it doesn't stop entirely.

For Omega Males, the process would occur in reverse. Maybe the testes just change course and go back into the abdomen to become ovaries, or maybe they don't descend at all and the first clue this is happening would just be finding a vaginal canal forming?

I like this one primarily because it feels like a less 1 to 1 allegory for being queer, but still feels kind of relatable? You can, of course, still have the end result resemble the first method mentioned waaaaay up past the sciencey bits, but I kind of like the idea of there being a vestigial remnant of the birth parts left behind. I like the ambiguity, and the chance to explore how this would affect someone appeals to me.

Now, my last theory is mostly for the lulz, but this must be DOCUMENTED for POSTERITY'S SAKE.

So, Omegaverse started with m/m shipping with mpreg, right? Well, a lot of the earlier fiction just... describes typical cis male anatomy, with zero explanation for exactly how this is all occurring. There's just... anal sex, and then that somehow forms babby.

Well, what if I told you that I've figured it out? See, remember how I mentioned that the prostate is theoretically what became of the fetal uterine tissue? Guess where the prostate is? Guess. GUESS.

THE ASS IS WHERE!

So, we just have to bullshit the prostate back into a functioning uterus, but leave the placement in close proximity to the anus. Now, the other problem is that that would mean that there's an opening leading to the colon, which... look, I have no idea how birds and lizards keep their cloaca from getting infected, but connecting other tracts to the asshole doesn't usually end well.

So, we have to find a way to seal it up when not in use. Now, the cervix serves this purpose in the real world, opening to let in fluids, or let out discharge or, y'know... a baby, but that's really expensive so most of us settle for having a breeding kink that we never act on, and instead impose on our favorite blorbos who don't have to pay for health insurance.

But still, even with a butt-cervix, bacteria's still likely to get in, so we need a firmer block. I've suggested a little flap like the epiglottis in the throat as a second line of defense. If it can protect your trachea from wayward chicken nuggets, then hey! It might not be terrible for keeping sepsis at bay!

Unfortunately, layering extra protection over the bussy business zone ain't gonna cut it. Hell, as self cleaning as the vagina is, infections happen all the damn time, even if your hygiene is good. So, we need to take that self cleaning nature, apply it to the bussy business zone, and crank it up to eleven. Just constant mucousal discharge, pushing all the bad back out.

So, yeah. Your favorite Omega Man'll have a rectal womb covered with a secondary internal assflap that's constantly discharging a steady stream of slime (just consider it free lube!), but if you can make it past that, you can live your dreams of gettin' that bussy mpregged by cumming in they gay ass. Then they'd just kinda... poop out the baby, presumably.

So there you have it! Three in-depth explorations of how Omegaverse genitals can work! I'm gonna go take my psych meds and fucking SLEEP.

[mitsundere]

gepard omegaverse headcanons

so this has been cooking in my head for quite a while now, but i've only just typed it up.

⚠️ cw : internalized homophobia , internalized discrimination against omegas (?) 

can be taken as reader-insert, gender-neutral, but there's one (1) mention of a hypothetical scenario where they have a vagina / ovaries. like 1-2 bullets only, about pregnancy. i'll put it in color red if anyone wants to avoid it. feel free to send me a message on how to word it properly, or if i should change anything

general headcanons

omega. smells like winter pine with a tad of cinnamon and a lingering floral scent. the more pleased he is, the more prominent the floral tones.

no one knows of his dynamic except for his family, and a few high-ranking senior officers and doctors of the guard (including the supreme guardian and pela, a family friend). he’s been raised as an alpha, and everyone in belobog sees him as one.

uses both scent-blocker patches and heat suppressants regularly. it’s a must for any member of the silvermane guards, especially those in the frontlines and on patrols. while his scent normally wouldn’t be a problem, it gets sickeningly sweet during pre-heats, so he has to use the patches. fortunately, he hasn’t experienced any problems with heat suppressants yet.

prefers to spend heats alone. while the original gepard wouldn’t even think of having a vacation for himself, in this verse he’s more likely to do it (whether he wants to or not). at least once a year, he tapers down his heat suppressants to maintain his body’s natural hormone cycle— letting him have his heat. 

he’s ashamed of it, wishes that he was born as something else. but it didn’t matter what he wanted. the people need him to be this indestructible shield for belobog. a powerful alpha, not… whatever he was right now. it’s even worse when he remembers how his sisters were both alphas. why was he the only one burdened with this? he tries not to think about it by drowning himself in work

with an alpha

it takes a while for him to warm up to them. after all, he’s been raised to act like one. he doesn’t want to give in to his instincts. it was a good thing he was pretty disciplined! (read as: used to not getting what he wanted / not being in control of his life)

you need to be a gentle alpha to win this captain’s heart. he still has to come to terms with and be more forgiving of himself. let him touch you freely. explore your scent glands and canines. it gives him a sense of control, making him more relaxed

steals your clothes. yes, even if you’re smaller than him. if you lose an article of clothing, it’s most likely with gepard as he stays at the restricted zone for months. be careful when sending him letters with items like a handkerchief, anything with your scent. he might just go into premature heat (and he’ll be sent home. whether this is a win or not is up for debate)

with a beta

the most comfortable match for gepard. there’s no pressure to conform with the standard alpha/omega partnership. he won’t accidentally go into heat with a you due to lack of a strong scent, and you won’t go crazy when you smell him. he can just be a normal person around you

your lack of strong scent won’t stop him from nuzzling into your scent glands, though. you do have a scent, it’s just a bit.. subtle. not overwhelming like an alpha’s or omega’s— and he’s obsessed with it. like drinking cold water on a hot and humid day, it has no taste but you can’t help but keep drinking it, right? be prepared for a lot of cuddling!! he’ll do anything to get a whiff of you

in my verse… unfortunately, if the beta has a vagina / ovaries / uterus etc. as their reproductive system, they cannot get an omega pregnant. they can get surgery for this, but i imagine it isn’t quite available in jarilo-vi yet

if this is the case, gepard would be quite sad as he wants a family. but maybe after a long talk, he’ll come to accept that there are other methods of having one.

with an omega

gepard appreciates that there’s someone who can understand him. raised in a conservative family (i imagine, have you read “landau’s choice?”), it would bother him first. internally. but he’ll come around later on to accept that he liked you.

afraid of exposing his dynamic at first. would you still accept him? he’s hidden his dynamic all his life. what if you leave him after? would you be disgusted at the idea of him, an omega, liking you, another omega? please be patient with him. he’ll tell you when he’s ready

being with you also makes his alpha upbringing come up. he thinks that you should be protected, and doesn’t mind if you use him as a shield for any other alphas that want you (one of the benefits of appearing as an alpha to the masses)

out of all the relationships/dynamics listed, i think this is the most likely one that doesn’t start off as love. it’s more of a shared comfort or friendship, and gradually becomes something more. 

[potatoplace]

Omegaverse Headcanons

These are my takes on A/B/O designations: Alpha, Beta, and Omega. Some are them are ACOTAR specific.

If you have any thoughts or questions about anything I've written, feel free to submit an ask or pm me ☺️ I've been obsessed with A/B/O for such a long time, and I always love to talk about it.

There might be more added to this in the future as well, if I think of anything extra or if there's anything random specific to add. (This already turned out a lot longer than I planned 😅)

Alpha

- General

Most alphas present in their late teens with their first rut, along with their scent fully developing and becoming stronger.

Alphas can be male or female, though the majority of them are male.

Scents are stronger than betas, and increases in potency with any intense emotions.

Alphas are the second most common presentation, making up around 40% of births.

Alpha presentations can be more common in certain species.

|____> in Illyrians, for example, alphas make up 60% of the population. (ACOTAR)

- Female Alphas

Most female alphas can grow a penis with a knot at the base when they are in rut due to hormone surges, though a few are unable to do so as a genetic condition. ⬇️

Some fae have transformation magic that allows them to do this whenever they choose, with a slightly decreased fertility when not in rut. (ACOTAR)

Female alphas can impregnate omegas and betas with no changes to fertility.

Getting pregnant themselves is more difficult due to their changed biology, and have a lower fertility rate.

- Ruts

Ruts happen on average every 4 months, though they can be more or less frequent due to health conditions, fertility, and having a marked omega or alpha.

They last 5 days for the average alpha, with some lasting as long as a week, or as short as 3 days, it depends on the alpha.

It is seen dangerous for an alpha to go through their rut alone, especially more than once in a row. They go feral faster due to the lack of hormones being given and recieved compared to omegas.

Ruts are preceded by a slight fever, being prone to emotional outbursts, and increased aggression and protectiveness over their partner(s).

- Behavioral Differences

Alphas tend to be more emotional overall, and experience them in a higher intensity.

They often act without thinking, reacting on instinct.

They are protective over their family and friends, but especially their omega or other marked partner.

When their partner is pregnant, protectiveness soars through the roof. They hardly leave their partner's side unless they absolutely have to, and are extremely aggressive toward any other alphas, even if they are related.

They have an alpha tone that they can use, it is extremely hard for an omega to resist, especially if they are bonded to the alpha. It does not work on other alphas, it works a small amount on betas.

An omega's keen will cause a chemical reaction in an alpha, one that should prompt the alpha to do whatever they can to assist the omega.

If an alpha feels rejected by their omega, they can turn against their omega quickly, sometimes harming them or even killing them in a blind rage.

Beta

- General

Betas are relatively normal people, with very few differences due to their secondary sex.

They do not ever present, their scent and body goes through a normal puberty for their species.

Their scents are very mild in comparison to the other two presentations.

They are mostly unable to scent alphas and omegas, and usually only when they are in rut or heat.

Betas are the most common presentation, making up 50% of the population, and are the least valued of the presentations as well.

- Cycles

Beta females have a normal reproductive cycle, and beta males can impregnate females of any presentation.

- Behavioral Differences

Betas tend to be levelheaded with the lack of hormone surges that the other two presentations have.

Alpha tones work a small amount on betas, mainly prompting them to reconsider doing what the alpha is telling them to do.

Betas are sympathetic to an omega's keen, most will attempt to help the omega calm down.

Omega

- General

Most omegas present in the age range of 12-15. Their scent changes, normally to a sweeter version of their scent, and very potent.

They generally do not have their first heat until they are at least 19 years old, but can take up to a decade longer to fully present.

Omegas tend to be submissive in nature, especially towards alphas.

They make up 10% of the population, but like alphas they can be more or less rare depending upon the species.

- Male Omegas

Male omegas are rare, making up around 2% of the population. (20% of all omegas)

They are able to become pregnant, as they are born with a womb that is only accessible for impregnation during heats.

They are also able to get females pregnant, though they have a slightly decreased fertility doing so.

- Heats

Heats are preceded by a high fever, cramps, nesting, and a lack of interest in food and water. All of these continue throughout their heat.

The typical heat lasts a week, but anywhere between 5 and 9 days is considered normal.

Omegas can last through years of heat without an alpha if they are not bonded or in a close relationship with one.

- Nesting

Nests are very important to an omega's mental and physical health. It provides a safe space for the omega during their heats, and during the end stages of pregnancy. It can also serve as an emotional refuge.

Nests are a very personal space, it is considered taboo to enter without the omega's permission.

Omegas can spend days to weeks nesting depending on their mental or physical state, and will ensure that everything stays in its correct spot when able.

Omegas create a nest to their exact specifications, using whatever they think is necessary to perfect their nest.

They will steal their alpha's clothing, bedding, and items that they use frequently to have their alpha's scent inside of their nest without needing the alpha themselves.

Nesting can last anywhere from a few hours to a few days before their heat begins.

- Pregnancy

Omega pregnancies are more common than beta or alpha pregnancies, as omegas are naturally more fertile, especially during their heats.

Full term pregnancies last a year, though most babies can survive after nine months if they receive the proper care.

Morning sickness can last anywhere between two and five months, and in rare cases the majority of the pregnancy.

Cravings start after three months and last until the end of pregnancy.

An omega will begin to store things way for their nest at 10 months, normally items from around their home that they or their alpha use often.

At 11 months, omegas typically begin nesting fully, almost always refusing to leave their nest unless their alpha orders them to.

- Behavioral Differences

Omegas tend to experience emotions seen as positive (love, joy, amusement) stronger than betas, but have relatively normal reactions to negative emotions- unless they feel rejected by their alpha.

Rejection can cause a physical illness to manifest in an omega, deadly almost every time unless their alpha makes amends and shows their love through care to the omega.

An alpha's tone is near impossible for an omega to resist, unless they feel strongly enough about the command, or they greatly dislike the alpha.

An omega's keen is a sound of pure desperation and grief. It is a loud cry, often the loudest an omega can make it.

Most omegas long for a family due to their secondary gender, but not all.

[the-genius-az]

Headcanons Azula omega with her harem of alphas and betas?

They call Azula "The Conqueror" for getting five girlfriends.

Azula doesn't know how he managed to get five girlfriends, and is afraid to ask.

She has five free bodyguards who protect her from everything, (regardless of the fact that she is more powerful than them).

Sometimes she runs away when she's overwhelmed... that is, when two or three Alphas are in a rut.

Since she had five Alphas she never had company for her heat (Because she doesn't want to make the others feel bad).

When she got pregnant she ran away like a good Omega would in his situation.

She had ten children in total, do you regret it? No, was it painful? Definitely yes.

His five Alphas are good mothers and good wives, he does not regret marrying them.

She can conquer the entire world if she really wants to, and it is her Alphas who stop her, because if it were up to her and her ten children she would do it.

Her children are the top brass everywhere, and Azula laughed out loud when she realized that they literally conquered the world.

[honey-minded-hivemind]

My Parent ABO AUs in X-Men Evolution sounds interesting to me, so I think I'm going to explore that for a minute:

• So, I have two different ABO Parent AUs, with everyone's two favorite ferals, Wolverine and Sabretooth. And honestly, X-Men Evolution seems like a good media to have the aus set in, due to having teens, friendship, less romance drama, compelling story arcs, and seeing these characters in a new light, exploring their potential in a more... kid-friendly way? Well, without too much romance, petty drama, and squabbling.

• I've explained in previous posts what any of my ABO AUs entail, not just the general one or the Parent ones. What they entail is this: Betas are more sturdy and hardy than either Alphas or Omegas, and can adapt easier than they can (they aren't side-lined) and can either have a baby or give someone a baby; Alphas tend to be fleet, fast and strong, but aren't as largely built as others, yet are incabale of having a baby (they don't have wombs); and Omegas aren't weak or meek, they're the strongest and most protective, but only have wombs. ABOs are one of the types of gender, male and female and nonbinary and trans and everything else still exist, too, but the mutants are the ones who tend to have the ABO traits highlighted and more influential in their lives.

• Other people (the humans) have ABO, but not as strong or prominent as mutants. The mutants tend to have more instincts, more urges, than a human would. And example: Human sees a cute animal, they find it cute or go meh. A mutant sees it, they like it/love it, they immediately want to hug it and adopt it. Mutants have powers, so imagine due to the mutations, it enhances any instincts or urges at least 10× more than a regular human.

• For the ABO Parent AUs in X-Men Evolution, I think I need to explore one at a time. Each person has their own history and personality, and since these aus are set entirely apart, it's best to explore them separately. With that tidbit said, let's try Logan first (favorite X-Men dad, who adopts every kid he sees)

• I headcanon that for X-Men Evo, he is an asexual. The reason he likely ever did the deed would be for one of two reasons: 1, he had a partner he loved, and wanted to meet their more private needs, and agreed to it, or 2, he wanted a baby, knew what was required, and did what he had to to get said baby. I wouldn't put either past him, since we do see him being empathetic and caring, even if he acts like he isn't, and would do what he thought was best.

• One way or another, he ends up pregnant (yes, he's an Omega, remember, strong and overprotective, fits), and he's rather pleased. The guy, no matter what X-Men media, adopts just about every child and teen he sees. So, yeah, I think this would make sense. During the pregnancy, he's protective, soft, and cuddly. Talks to the baby (reader), eats a lot to keep up with his metabolism and to keep his bby fed, and let's his friends (Charles Xavier and Ororo Munroe/Storm) dote on him.

• Then, when the time comes to have the bby... worse comes to worse. He's somehow in the hands of his enemies, he's on his own, and he can't stop what's already begun. By the end of it, he's exhausted, in pain, and barely coherent... but before he can even get more than a glimpse of his bby, they're taken away. No matter what he begs, no matter what he screams, he can't get free and he can't sense his child anywhere nearby.

• When he's rescued, it feels hollow. They search, tearing thoroughly through the building, looking high and low for any sign, anything, to hint to what happened to his child. But they find nothing... He doesn't give up, hunting through the halls to find what trace he can... Yet all he finds is the smallest cloth covered in blood, stained with his and his bby's scent... And he and his friends fear the worse had happened...

• He goes through a depression, trying to find anything left of his bby, and finding nothing. Charles does his best to help, offering aid and any resources he can to help his friend. Storm does her best to soothe him, sitting through the worst of it and consoling him, even sitting through the nights with him just so he won't be alone. And then Scott and Jean enter the three's lives... and then there's hope again, joy...

• And over the next few years, Logan slowly heals some of the pain. He has to help these two kids who need their help, his help, and he has to be there. It doesn't heal everything, but it numbs some of the grief, letting him feel some bit of happiness again. And as the other X-Men teens show up a few years later, he stays there for them. He isn't leaving these kids behind, not when they need him, need the pack he and the other adults provide. He wants to be there for them, to offer advice and soothe their fears and be everything he was denied to be with his own bby. He loves the teens, and would do whatever it took to keep them safe, the way he couldn't protect his own bby in the past or love on them...

• The teens do eventually find out that their resident Team Dad had a baby in the past, and feel a bit of heartbreak too. For Scott and Jean, they realize that would explain some of the sadness he had in the past when they first arrived, and why he was so careful with them, and then the others. For the other teens, they feel sympathy, and even empathy. For all the teens, they've dealt with their own losses, and they think they can understand their friend dad a little better...

• Yet the entire time... the reader wasn't dead. While they were taken away to be cleaned up and then taken to be experimented on, one of the nurses had a change of heart, realizing that the baby they were holding was just that, a baby. One they just took away from their parent, and planned to hurt. With that, when the other nurses leave, and they go to transfer the reader, they instead leave with them, taking them away from the labs and deciding to find someone to care for them...

• And the reader grows up, never knowing what transpired. Their life wasn't perfect, and they had their fair share of early traumas, but they did have at least one person in their life who loved them, and for them, that was enough. Yet over the years, that person's health worsens, to the point they are in the hospital. They know someone who can help the reader, or so they think, and decide to direct the reader to that area, which puts them in the same area as everyone else...

• The reader doesn't take their loved one's passing well, but soldiers on. They do their best to get along with their contact, only to find they're left on their own. They have enough money for necessities, and a place to live, but they don't have a way to stay in touch with their new guardian. Reader takes everything as best they can, and pushes down any discontent or pain that bubbles to the surface. They want to enjoy life, and plan to do just that, even if it takes awhile.

• They end up in the same school as the teens, and is a quiet, lone figure in and outside the classes. They don't talk to anyone unless they have to, keeping to their own devices and staying away from others their age, and a few people seem to think they'd make a good target for bullying. They try to push the reader around, only to be met with a vice-like grip that threatens to crush their arm, and warned in the coldest voice they heard to get lost. Thus leads to the reader now having a reputation as the mysterious lone wolf of the school.

• The X-Men and Brotherhood teens heard of the reader, but never put much thought into it... Uuuntil the adults of their groups inform them they sensed mutant activity, and it appears the reader is said new mutant. Which leads to the most awkward ways of getting to know someone. Each teen from each group has their own idea of how to approach the reader, and are doing their best to not be put off by the task at hand. But hearing that the quiet mystery kid at school is the newest possible recruit gives them a feeling of trepidation... They really don't want to end up with a broken hand, or worse...

• Yet somehow, someway, they do end up talking with the reader... And are relieved that they aren't too bad. A little gruff, and cutting to the point, but they aren't that bad (they haven't seen certain team members before their morning coffee). When they try to talk about being mutants, that's when the reader tries to back out. They don't want anything to do with that, or being around other people, especially teens. They've been hurt before, and aren't keen to relive those experiences... Well, the teens don't leave them alone. They pester the reader, asking what their power is and trying to figure it out on their own, and finally their troubles are rewarded...

• And then they realize that oh cr*p they have claws like Logan (the Brotherhood teens know who he is, they've heard Sabretooth/Victor talk about him, and they have actually met Logan. People get along better in the ABO AUs). Aaaand now they are all trying to figure out what to say. How do you you tell someone, "Hi, yeah, we know your dad/uncle, so can you please come with us so we can show you to them?" The teens all around are doing their best to figure out how to break the news, but now the reader makes more sense now, because oh, that's why they look a bit familiar, they're related to him. Cue the teens rushing off to call their pack parents to share the news...

• And when they do get the news... it's a lot to take in. How do they even begin to process it? And how do they break it to the reader, who they know doesn't know anything about their parentage or what finding them means? Breaking the news to Logan, he has to take a minute. And then, with every bit of urgency and seriousness, asks if it's true. When he's met with the answer, that it is, he's... he's elated. Warm. Feels like crying. Because his bby wasn't dead, and they were nearby, alive and well. And even though he wants to rush in, to see them immediately... he doesn't. For his bby's sake, and for his kids sake, he and the other adults shouldn't rush it. His bby knows nothing about him or the truth behind what happened, who they were, and if they tell them, they have to do so as carefully as possible. Thus begins the befriending of his bby by his kids, plus the Brotherhood teens.

• (Yes, Victor finds out, and for him, he's glad his brother's child isn't dead. But he does plan to have them on the Brotherhood's side, so they're close by and so his brother will actually visit him and join him )

• And the reader has no clue all of this is going on. They just know that the Xavier and Brotherhood teens are acting weirdly friendly and interested in them, and they have to try to not be panicked. Attention on them isn't something they like, and suddenly having a bunch of teenagers interested in you feels like too much for them. Reader does their best to stay polite, but keeps themself from connecting too much with them. Yeah, no one's having that. Everyone is trying to find out how to approach them, and how to try to get them to join their side, while doing their absolute best to curb their own instincts telling them they have a new friend/sibling that should be with them, not away from them, and should be in the pack nest, under a dozen blankets...

• Finally, they're able to get the reader to open up a bit, little by little. Finding someone caring and afraid underneath, who unconsciously has been denying and burying their instincts all their life, trying to be what they thought was normal. And the teens are quick to tell the adults, who are then quick to speed things up a little. Yet teens have a plan of their own: Invite the reader to their home, and get the adults to see for themselves they need them, need a proper pack and some proper TLC.

• Reader does eventually meet Logan, and he's doing his best to stay calm as his kids present his long lost bby to him, who's waving awkwardly and asking if he's okay, he looks a bit pale- And for the rest of the time reader is at the mansion, he's keeping an eye on the teens, noting how they and his bby are, glad to see them getting along and safe...

• And after a few months, the groups decide they should break the news to reader. The reader deserves the truth, and they're all friends now, so they hope for the best. The groups are careful, asking as gently as possible what the reader knows about their parent/s or guardians... and then tell them they know someone like them, who is just like they are, mutation and all... The reader doesn't need much to read into what they're saying, and feels a bit... scared. They have a feeling whatever the teens tell them, they expect a certain answer, and they won't take kindly to the wrong one. And when the news does break, the reader is quiet. Taking it in. And asks if that changes anything. The teens are quiet, studying the reader, and doing their best to stay calm... The reader asks to have some time on their own, leaving as quick as possible. They're overwhelmed, and they're pretty sure the odd behaviors of everyone isn't a sign of good for them, and realize that their gut feelings from before, that the groups had something dark, something off about them, were right...

• Over the next few weeks, the reader tries to avoid the teens, and tries to make a plan to find leave town for awhile. They want to run, to hide, to get away from it all. Something is telling them to run, to leave as fast as possible, that something isn't right, and this time, the reader wants to listen to it. But as they go to get some air, to calm down, they find someone they didn't expect to see. Logan. Who said the kids sent him to check up on them, since they haven't seen them for awhile. And the reader knows, somehow, that he and the others know what they planned to do, and feels fear flood them. Yet they stay still and do their best to brush off any concern, hoping against the odds to leave before anyone takes notice...

• Then Logan cuts to the chase, asks the reader why they want to run, why they're ignoring the others... and the reader bolts. They run, as fast as they can, sliding through the house and out the back door, trying to run from everything that's happening and the panic eating through them...

• And Logan follows. He isn't alone, but the others decided to stay in the van, to give the reader some space. Clearly that wasn't the answer. He knows they're being eaten up inside, that they're unsure what road to take next and overwhelmed, but frome everything Jean could read from their mind, they were in danger of running off, of hurting themself, and he can't let that happen. It's not hard to track his bby, or for him to approach them from the shadows. But he and his pack aren't losing them, and if that means they have to step in, so be it.

• And the reader knows the moment they catch a scent in the wind, a scent that's so similar to their's, that they've been found. They watch carefully as Logan approaches them, and has to fight down every urge to cry, to break down, to give in. Yet all he does is stay a few feet away, making gentle noises. And he talks, asking what's wrong and why they want to run so bad. Asking if that's what they really want. Telling them they won't be hurt, that they care, he cares, and he's there to keep them safe. Then just as carefully, he hugs them. And it feels so, so good...

• The reader shakes, trying not to let the fearful noises slip past them. The arms around them are firm, warm, promising nothing but gentleness and protection. And yet they still feel anxious. A hand rubs circles into their back, and they can hear the noises better now, soft chuffs, like an animal trying to calm its baby. And for a minute, they let it sink in, the comfort they've wanted, that they've needed, freely given and so, so warm... Yet they try to pull away. They can't have it, they can't put themslef through the pain of having it, that love and care, turn against them... But all the grip around them does is tighten, the noises growing louder and more determined... And just as softly... something sharp presses into their shoulder. And they suck in a sharp breath,, struggling as they realize what just happened.

• Tears sting their eyes as they become desperate, trying to tug themself away, only to be pulled back into the grip. The hand on their back keeps rubbing warm circles, and they feel their head tucked underneath their captor's chin. A sob escapes them, as a deep rumble comes from the one holding them. Whatever they were injected with, they can feel it slowly affecting them. A heaviness enters their thoughts, slowly spreading throughout their body. They try to pull back, but are only met with a deep purr. Everything is... starting to slip. Tiredness consumes them, slumping them into the hold around them. Warmth is over them, pressed into their back and limbs, only helping them drift off into a peaceful darkness. A gentle noise comes from whatever they're against, lulling them to the brink... It feels so good... So calm... The gentle rubbing agsint them continues, and a small hum escapes them... And then, with a small exhale, they slip completely under...

• As his bby passes out, a deep rumble escapes him. His bby is safe, and he can finally take them home, where he and the others can help them and nurture their instincts, right where they always belonged. With a quiet sigh, Logan picks them up, nuzzling his head against their's, then heads back to where the van is. He and the others will explain everything when his bby wakes up, and they'll make everything right again. Everything will be okay. His bby may have tried to run, but he understands that they were scared, anxious, afraid of kind touches and loving words. But he'll help them. They all will. Just a bit of time nurturing them and helping them adjust to the changes, and they can try to get them back in school with the others. They just have to get through the first few stages, starting with bringing them home...

(And that is what I have so far for this au. Things to expect include, but aren't limited to: group nesting, scenting, chuffs and purring between everyone, protective and possessive behavior, and many pack bonding moments. And yes, Laura shows up, and yes, she's added too. Victor makes an appearance, multiple times, to meet his nibblings and to try and get Logan to join him... The reader wakes up and kinda knees someone in the crotch. Then tries to act like nothing happened the night before. It's a trip for everyone, as they try to care for the reader, only to have to deal with them expecting every kind word and action to have a double meaning, a threat, behind it, a joke against them or a manipulation tactic to hurt them... And the platonic yans realize just how much TLC they need to put into their kid/sibling/friend.)

(P.S.: How the Platonic Yan Teens come to like Reader:

A bully, possibly Duncan or Riley or someone else, messing with one of the teens, acting like a jerk: Ha, what are you gonna do about it, loser?😈

Reader, stepping out from the shadows behind them and tightening a strong hand around the bully's shoulder: What are you gonna do if I break your arm right now?💀😇

Bully, now scared: Get off me, freak! Walks away before reader can follow up on their threat🏃💨

Reader, looking their way, then back at the Platonic Yan Teen: Well... that happened. Have a nice day Pats their shoulder, then walks off before anyone can say anything

Platonic Yan Teen, five seconds later: ... What. The h*ck. Just happened?? Well, looks like we're friends now🤔🤷😍