#post-self
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motes on a skateboard fanart
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Did you know that I write a lot about memory, skunks, uploading consciousness, political maneuvering, skunks, aliens, skunks, queerness, identity, emotions, and skunks? It's true! I'm very proud of them. You can read books best described as
Given the chance to live forever in a world not built for death, what do you do?
Given the inability to forget—all your joys and sorrows, all your foundational memories and traumas—how do you cope?
Given the ability to create a full copy of yourself—down to every single one of those memories—to do as they will, to individuate and live out their own forever lives, or merge back down and meld their memories with your own, what paths do you take?
and
If I had a nickel for every time I accidentally wrote something with heavy plural undertones that I hadn't intended but nonetheless made me doubt my identity, I'd have two nickels! Which isn't a lot, but it is weird that it happened twice.
The Post-Self Cycle is a tetralogy of meta-furry¹, gender-weird sci-fi books. From the very beginning of the consensual dream of the System, the members of the Ode clade, all forks from the same core personality, have dealt with fear each in their own way. Do they search for greater ways to control their lives? Do they hunt for yet deeper emotional connection? Do they hone their art to the finest point?
From roots in political turmoil to the building of a new society, the story is there to be found, and the Bălan clade is there to tell it.
Digital versions come with illustrations from five artists — Iris Jay, Jade Laclede, Floe, CadmiumTea, and johnny a.
Available as paperbacks, ebooks, and free to read in the browser. Omnibus ebook and illustrated hardcovers coming soon!
Book I — Qoheleth
"All artists search. I search for stories, in this post-self age. What happens when you can no longer call yourself an individual, when you have split your sense of self among several instances? How do you react? Do you withdraw into yourself, become a hermit? Do you expand until you lose all sense of identity? Do you fragment? Do you go about it deliberately, or do you let nature and chance take their course?"
With immersive technology at its peak, it's all too easy to get lost. When RJ loses emself in that virtual world, not only must ey find eir way out, but find all the answers ey can along the way.
And, nearly a century on, society still struggles with the ramifications of those answers.
Features the bonus novella Gallery Exhibition: A Love Story.
Madison finds a way to address not only the joys and terrors of integrated simulation technology, but also tackles questions of gender and identity while telling a pretty gripping mystery story in the process.
— Nenekiri Bookwyrm
Book II — Toledot
"I am saying that you trust me — really trust me — and that life in the System is more subtle than I think you know. You let me into your dreams, my dear, and your dreams influence this place as much as, if not more than, your waking mind."
No longer bound to the physical, what lengths should one go to in a virtual world to ensure the continuity of one's existence?
Secession. Launch. Two separations from two societies, two hundred years apart. And through it all, so many parallels run on so many levels that it can be dizzying just keeping up. The more Ioan and Codrin Bălan learn, the more it calls into question the motivations of even those they hold most dear.
Madison Scott-Clary . . . trusts her readers to be able to understand a completely different culture and existence than our own, and makes it compelling to do so.
— Payson R. Harris
Book III — Nevi'im
"Do you know how old I am, Dr. Brahe? I am 222 years old, a fork of an individual who is...who would be 259 years old. I am no longer the True Name of 2124. Even remembering her feels like remembering an old friend. I remember her perfectly, and yet I do not remember how to be earnest. I do not know how to simply be."
The cracks are showing.
Someone picked up on the broadcast from the Dreamer Module and as the powers that be rush to organize a meeting between races, Dr. Tycho Brahe is caught up in a whirlwind of activity. And as always, when the drama goes down, there is Codrin Bălan to witness it.
When faced with eternity in a new kind of digital world, however, old traumas come to roost, and those who were once powerful are brought to their knees
Growth is colliding with memory, and the cracks are showing.
These characters are so well realized, so fleshed out, that I can’t help but to gush about how their interactions with each other inform the central plot of the book.
— Nenekiri Bookwyrm
Book IV — Mitzvot
"To be built to love is to be built to dissolve. It is to be built to unbecome. It is to have the sole purpose of falling apart all in the name of someone else."
Even the grandest of stories can feel small and immediate when it's just one person's life.
One of the most well-known names from one of the most well-known clades on the System, the avatar of political machinations and cool confidence, has been brought low. With help coming only from Ioan Bălan and the most grudging of support from her cocladists, all True Name has left to save herself is the ability to change.
Features the bonus novella Selected Letters.
Mitzvot drills down deeper into the lives of its characters and shows us that between the world-shattering projects that change the very understanding of the System, they’re just people trying to live their lives with love and purpose.
— Nenekiri Bookwyrm
Keep an eye out for Clade, an anthology of short stories from nine authors set in the universe, coming later this year.
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¹ That is, about members of the furry subculture rather than just furry characters.
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[inflicts psychic damage on a tiny fandom]
Hello and welcome to Well There's Your Problem, a podcast about engineering disasters. With slides.
[the title slide shows a bunch of black spheres floating in a space lit from nowhere]
Today's episode will be on the Century Attack. On the screen in front of you are a bunch of uploads. They're, uh, not supposed to look like that.
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Thoughts regarding/plot synopsis of Post-Self: Qoheleth
[This is just a copy of my ramblings on Discord so apologies if there's some missing context or whatever, I didn't feel like reformatting this for the five people following my Tumblr.]
Okay. So. I'm going to be completely honest, it is hard to know where to begin with this.
So, for a few months I've known about this four-book series called the Post-Self Cycle. I don't remember where I first heard about it, it was probably on Cohost back when I still used to use that site. And after a cursory scan of the series' overall themes, I decided that despite fascinating me, I didn't feel like it was the right time to actually dive into it. And in retrospect that was absolutely the right call.
It's very philosophically heavy, tackling topics regarding identity and the future which I already struggle with a lot in my personal life. But the knowledge of this series continued to live in my head rent-free between then and a few days ago when I felt I was ready to explore what Post-Self had to offer. I literally remember talking to Sable [my girlfriend] one day having a breakdown(?) regarding identity and my fear of ego death, and the thing I remember most about that moment was how I actually brought this series up to Sable at one point. Without ever even reading it. Like it revealed to me fears I've been harboring my whole life.
I don't really know if there was anything specific that caused me to feel I was mentally ready to start reading it, because I knew that once I did it would change me in some significant way. And it's really fucking funny on the surface to be feeling this way about some furry book series. I think there's something particularly uncanny about combining furry with deep philosophical themes. I felt similarly with Slime Time. It's been so far ingrained in me that furry is just some nerdy hobby that doesn't really matter at the end of the day, that when it's used as a vessel to expose very serious things that I'm trying to ignore, it almost feels like an invasion of a safe space.
I guess that's why Post-Self latched on to me so intensely after just simply learning about it. Because it's the starkest I've ever experienced that sort of uncanniness. It seemed almost scary. And it is rare for me to feel that way about fiction anymore. But, I don't know. I've been thinking a lot about transhumanism lately, especially after having personally adopted the label "alterhuman". And I guess that's why the time felt right to finally check out Post-Self and hear what it has to say. For the past few days, I've been reading the first book in the series, Qoheleth. This is where I'm running into difficulty figuring out how to even talk about this. Because this isn't like any piece of media I've consumed before.
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Unconditional love isn't a free pass to hurt me.
#quotes#writing#poetry#positivity#thoughts#spilled poetry#spilled thoughts#spilled words#spilled writing#my thoughts#spilled truth#spilled feelings#spilled ink#ink#posts on tumblr#my posts#dark academia#light academia#aesthetic#love quotes#self love#love#romantic#life#feelings#emotions#deep thoughts#sad thoughts#relationship quotes#creative writing
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if your weird enough with the homies you can break all boundaries of platonic/romantic love and make a third, more evil thing
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You know, that Mythbusters post legitimately changed my life. Before seeing it, I had exponentially more guilt and stress about not being able to sleep, which of course, further exacerbated my inability to sleep.
Now, every time I wake up about three am, knowing I have to get up at 6.45, instead of stressing and panicking about how my day is going to be sleep deprived and miserable, I just tell myself 'Time to activate Mythbusters Protocol' and lie there with my eyes closed safe in the knowledge that I am measurably reducing later feelings of exhaustion.
And when this happens, about 70% of the time the reduction of guilt and stress means I actually do fall back asleep, so all in all instead of getting only three or four hours sleep, I get five to six and a half.
Which y'know, major improvement in health and energy.
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i think the important thing to understand is that sexual violence is an extension of violence, not sex
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tried to tell my faithful eunuch Tucker that he was basically tumblr famous, but he was too focused on defending the homestead to care
#id add this to the main post (OVER 100K WHAT???) but its already too long so new post ig loll#adventures of normalgirl#self potes-trait#(for tooth context he had to have his teeth taken out a few months ago bc they were trying to kill him) (but hes fine now)#also i actually made a slight effort with the shakespearean this time instead of picking words by vibe <3#lady normalgirl and her eunuch#10k#my doods#20k
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#girlblogger#girlhood#girlblogging#coqeutte#lana is god#this is what makes us girls#lana del rey#hell is a teenage girl#messy coquette#lizzy grant#god complex#im just a girl#tumblr girls#girly stuff#girl interrupted#girly#beauttiful girls#self love#dollcore#dollette#feminine urge#female hysteria#girl hood#hopecore#just girly thoughts#just girly posts#this is a girlblog#just girly things#girly tumblr#girl boss gaslight gatekeep
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License to Kitty.
#dungeon meshi#izutsumi#marcille donato#chilchuk tims#I still stand by my tags on the Izutsumi character study piece I did in January - but I will repeat myself on a few lines here:#I *really* love this character. I love that all of the dungeon meshi crew are complicated and have difficult to love components.#But Izutsumi is a particular kind of hard to love. I foresee a lot of people being turned off by her abrasiveness and lack of teamwork.#She is very self-centered and openly goes against what the party agrees on.#She's a picky eater in a story that is 50% about eating good and healthy food!#It is in part about her growth but admittedly even *then* she remains rather true to her self-centeredness.#Even though she isn't as nice or funny or compassionate as the others...Izutsumi is still someone worth loving.#Even the more difficult people are someone worth loving.#And those people in turn are people who have something and someone they love.#She may be a girlcat but she is the most human of them all.#I hope that if you are an anime only watcher and are feeling put off by her at the moment; you'll give her a chance.#By the way: *yes* I worked very hard to draw that skateboard pose. It was worth it.#EDIT: HAPPY 500th POST OF POORLY-DRAW-MDZS!!! What a comic to commemorate the milestone with!
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(look at what i have to offer) — this is the spider's nest.
#wild life smp#grian#<- is that really... his tag...?#grian fanart#life series smp#wanted to also make him wear skizz's tie specifically bec i hc he cant tie it properly himself so its always lopsided#perhaps later on he then wraps it around his fist#anyway this was A LOT . simpler in my head. never again will i draw rails#eydidraws#my art#trafficblr#mcyt#self indulgent drawing for me . maybe ill post the original sillier sketches later :'D#also kinda failed but i wanted to give the illusion of 8 legs so shadow-arm-sleeve-coat (left) / shadow-arm-shadow-coat (right)#* extra edit for clarification: yes my wl! grian is wearing mumbo's jacket (all the rips) and skizz's tie (unharmed since he fell) :D#maybe when they resurrect next time ill draw them without it lmao
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Clade — A Post-Self Anthology
To split oneself among however many individuals, to let the mind drift and diverge, to feel the world from points of view not your own, and then let those memories crash down into you…well, it inspires a feeling best described as ‘heady’, to say the least.
Now available for purchase and free to read online! https://clade.post-self.ink
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#i’ve been thinking abt that cringe post#i think the latent feelings behind ‘cringe’ are shame and sometimes envy/bitterness#same vibes as when six year olds say ‘those toys are for babies’ if they’ve been shamed for their age by older kids#anyway. i think part of the healing process is realizing that shame puts you at war with yourself bc part of yourself is a social being!#and that part of you wants community and acceptance (maybe love). shame is the absence of acceptance#unlearning shame means learning self-love and gaining the confidence to find your people#jerma#cw jerma#(someone asked me to tag lol)
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"tiktok is so toxic yall are on that evil app but I'm built different 💅" to you!! TO YOU!! YOUR TIKTOK ALGORITHYM MAY BE EVIL
Mine is FIRE
#sergle.txt#video#tiktok#i use so much self restraint every day go not post 500 TIKTOKS ON HERE#i gET SO MANY GOOD ONES
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