#possibly even more extra
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my durges (vharris and neried) and their partners
boy they will not get along ☝
#bg3#my art#baldur's gate 3#durge#the dark urge#tav bg3#gale dekarios#astarion ancunin#good lord i started this almost 2 months ago#fuken finally it is finished#i still dont understand how to draw astarion#also i accidentally made their personalities similar with their partner#possibly even more extra#fanart#bg3 fanart#baldurs gate 3#astarion#gale of waterdeep
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note: pollmaker is thinking of the USAmerican lottery system (powerball, mega millions, state lottos, scratchoffs, etc), but poll applies to other countries lotteries systems so long as its still the same concept of "big ol state sponsered gambling shit", but not like casino style gambling. u know what i mean, Lottos.
questions for the tags: how regularly, what stuff you play, if you have limits for yourself, if you feel like its a Problem for you, and for funsies the usual 'first thing youd do if you won the lottery' shit
reblog to have absolutely zero effect on your luck either way. just like, absolutely no change in luck whether you reblog this or scroll past. this is the luck neutral post reblog in the next 30 seconds or dont who give a shit
#buzzy#REMAKING BECAUSE I FORGOT THE FUCKING NO OPTION CHRIST im bad at this#do u ever spend so long thinking about every possible 'OP WHY DIDNT YOU MAKE AN OPTION FOR THIS SPECIFIC SITUATION'#that u forget the fucking 'no' optik#polls#poll#lottery#lotteries#the lottery#gambling#okay to repeat my personal answers: yes but i do only $3 per week and ONLY the texas lotto#i do my lucky numbers and i do a multi draw (does the next ten drawings w the same numbers) so that i dont gotta#pay attention to it for a couple of weeks#which makes it less of A Thing#so im not activelt rhinking about it as much#im ya kno impulsive and in the past it was 'ohh $5 per week and scratchoffs' but that meant too much of a#'oh but this week ill spend an extra $5 ive been good....'#and it was too easy for me to justify going overboard#i know 'not playing at all' is the better option but this scratches the itch just enough that i dont feel tempted to impulse buy scratchoffs#while also being p hands off so im not obsessing over it as much#ya kno?#yeah im consistently wasting money but it keeps me from IMPULSIVELY wasting EVEN MORE money#and it means i can keep lotto winning dreams jn the back of my mind#also first thing id do is go to doctors and find out wtf is wrong w me#well not the FIRST first. first first is probs getting myself a little treat like some dutch bros
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it’s that no one ever believed him that gets to me the most. this is a society of telepaths. and yet when the doctor finds out that the drums are real, he’s surprised. the master is surprised, elated, by the confirmation that he’s hearing something that’s really there, that this thing that’s been following him and hurting him for so long is real.
after a certain point, given that the master is Really Fucking Good at mind control and such, you have to imagine that no one could just pick up on the noise in his head with a little general telepathy. he had to choose to let the doctor in to share it. and. and okay. we need to put aside him striving to be The Best At Controlling People’s Minds in the context of him having his mind violated as a child because if i think about these two things in relation to each other i’ll throw up.
but there has to have been a point before he was so accomplished that he couldn’t have defended his own mind as easily. that he couldn’t keep someone, anyone, from delving into his head and hearing the drums. which means i must conclude, because we find out who put them in his head at all and it’s the most powerful guy on gallifrey, that when he was younger, the people around him did know. they could hear the drums. they could figure out what was done to him. but they did nothing, they said nothing, they told him he was hearing things. because if the lord president wanted to use a child for his own ends, who was going to stand up and stop him? easier to sweep it under the rug. and the master lived with that for so long that finally having just one other person hear the drums was a shock to him.
#very fun that this twist is. first of all great for end of time. but also can be used to recontextualize other bits of the master’s behavio#not even explain away but give extra meaning to. you know?#he hypnotizes people because if he can control them it’d damn well his right to do so and if they didn’t want to be mindfucked they should#have had better defenses. he’s the master and he came to conquer. and such.#but it’s also. this is now inextricable from the fact that his own mind was opened up and used against him as a child. when he couldn’t#possibly have defended himself. this past and his actions cannot be separated.#a man can have more than one motivation he can be both a little bastard who wants to rule a world because its his due since no one could#stop him. and also. it can be because there is no way to undo what was forced on him as a kid. but he can at least make sure nothing and no#one will ever control him again. he’s the master and you will obey *him*. never again the other way around.#the master#simm!master#doctor who
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Mad respect for MXTX for making a point to mention in every beginning, middle, and end in every tgcf extra that the main pairing are fucking all the time. Like, allllllll the time. Im so sorry you were censored queen, you would have written the most unhinged sex scenes😞💐👑
#at least im guessing thats what happened#and so mxtx made a point to reference their extensive sex life constantly to bite back a little bit#i was really looking forward to a wine or bichen level extra because hualian deserves it. i think they had the power to do even BETTER#and even MORE OUT THERE#theyre immortal beings!! imagine the possibilities!!!#but oh well😞😞#tgcf#heaven official's blessing#tian guan ci fu#hualian#xie lian#hua cheng#mxtx
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If I could write stories as quickly and vividly as I can envision them, I would have written at least three lovely novellas in the last week. Two of them this morning.
#adventures in writing#i am now optimistic about the time travel story#but to satisfy my backbrain i'm still building up and winnowing down alternate possibilities#just in case the primary story hits a snag#or if i wind up with extra time#mostly secondary world stories#the trouble is that the rare few that come together with plot and world details#want to unfold themselves like paper fans into something novella-length#when i only have time for a short story where all those details stay nicely folded up in the background#this morning i envisioned a beautifully detailed mermaid culture with a proud and complex main character#and now i've got very vivid scenes from shadowstruck playing through my head#and an idea of what the story's arc has to be#but by the time i can write them down the details will have faded#and even if they don't they'll need more love and care than i'd have time for#why can't writing be as simple as daydreaming?
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Fic where through Rocket Corp Shenanigans and/or Orange Power Craziness, the Color Gang, TCO and Victim all get spat out into the human world, where Alan then has to reveal to his wife that surprise! Living stick figures are real, he's made living stick figures, two of them don't like him, and one of those two is actively trying to kill him, while the other five see him as their Dad.
All while trying, and just barely succeeding, in wrangling a very ferally angry Victim who is trying his hardest to inflict great bodily harm onto Alan despite Alan being literally five times his size while the others are panicking trying to figure out how to help. Except for TCO, who is just WAITING for Alan accidentally drop Victim so he can return the favor of the Box beatdown.
And Kaori, who Alan never told that his animations were based on real events and real living stick figures, is just sitting there watching this lunacy like this:
#Alan Becker#animator vs animation#ava#Victim gets shoved into a cat carrier to keep him away from Alan#This does not stop him from trying mind you; it only pisses him off more#Alan has to grab TCO to stop HIM from beating the shit out of (and quite possibly killing) Victim which TCO also does NOT appreciate#Neither does Alan's hands which get a little toasty from the fire#Orange and RGYB are just watching the chaos tbh They're smart enough to not Get Involved#At least until things settle down and THEN they demand Alan's attention#Which is very awkward for Alan because Kaori is looking at him with a expression that demands he explain and QUICKLY#This situation is made even more awkward for Alan if he never told the Skittles Squad he was married; like they had ZERO IDEA she existed#Extra hilarious if Alan never kept it a secret from his YouTube audience that Orange and the Gang really existed#Because that would imply that Alan's own wife doesn't watch his animations and/or commentary videos lmao#Alan takes the idea of separating work and his personal life to the extreme#No one ever includes Kaori in anything & while I know the reason for it I feel like we're sleeping on some hilarious ideas involving her#Alan sending pleading looks to TCO: Please don't mention the enslavement thing please don't mention the enslavement thing--#Alan awkwardly: So uh honey d'you wanna adopt seven stick figure kids...? Kaori: That is not the most pressing issue right now Alan!#Kaori: That one is trying to kill you. Alan: I can fix him. Victim: No you can't.
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Something rubbed against his leg beneath the table. Jon saw red eyes staring up at him. “Hungry again?” he asked. There was still half a honeyed chicken in the center of the table. Jon reached out to tear off a leg, then had a better idea. He knifed the bird whole and let the carcass slide to the floor between his legs. Ghost ripped into it in savage silence. His brothers and sisters had not been permitted to bring their wolves to the banquet, but there were more curs than Jon could count at this end of the hall, and no one had said a word about his pup. He told himself he was fortunate in that too. His eyes stung. Jon rubbed at them savagely, cursing the smoke. He swallowed another gulp of wine and watched his direwolf devour the chicken. Dogs moved between the tables, trailing after the serving girls. One of them, a black mongrel bitch with long yellow eyes, caught a scent of the chicken. She stopped and edged under the bench to get a share. Jon watched the confrontation. The bitch growled low in her throat and moved closer. Ghost looked up, silent, and fixed the dog with those hot red eyes. The bitch snapped an angry challenge. She was three times the size of the direwolf pup. Ghost did not move. He stood over his prize and opened his mouth, baring his fangs. The bitch tensed, barked again, then thought better of this fight. She turned and slunk away, with one last defiant snap to save her pride. Ghost went back to his meal. Jon grinned and reached under the table to ruffle the shaggy white fur. The direwolf looked up at him, nipped gently at his hand, then went back to eating.
Jon I, AGOT
It's interesting that GRRM would dedicate several paragraphs to a seemingly unimportant exchange between a boy, his wolf, and an unfriendly third party. But there's just something about this passage that has continued to nag at me for years since I first read it because, considering how heavy handed GRRM was with the foreshadowing in AGOT, this feels important.
Jon is sitting at table full of squires - aka would be knights. We don't really know who they are or what families they belong to, but it's safe to assume that they come from a certain level of privilege; this is considering the fact that it cannot be financially easy to be a squire. And these boys already have a slew of tales detailing all their previous knightly exploits regarding "battle and bedding and the hunt" which suggests that they have some capital. So you have boys who will soon be men. And they will, presumably, become men of some power.
These lads eat their fill of the chicken until only half remains, which Jon then gives to Ghost. The direwolf's name is not so important here but what he represents is. Throughout the series, we're told that Ghost is reminiscent of the weirwood trees (because of his red eyes and white fur). He's stated to be of and from the Old Gods and since he's a personification of the weirwoods, he might as well be one of them. It's almost as if Jon is presenting whatever is left on the table to the Old Gods (Ghost). He lets them devour his offerings while he silently watches. And the motif of watching is so interesting here because it's kind of like Jon takes on a stewardship role - to watch over land/people/etc. He oversees Ghost eating the chicken, so he's overseeing whatever has been given to the Old Gods. This is not new imagery to his arc. As a brother of the Night's Watch and eventually its leader, we have several instances where he leads people to adopting the Old Gods in some fashion. In ADWD, several recruits swear their vows to the Old Gods while he watches on as their Lord Commander. The Old Gods are also primarily of the North and we're told that Jon has more of the north in him than his brothers; interesting that this also includes Bran. So perhaps whatever is being offered to the Old Gods relates to the North.
We must also note that Jon initially thinks to give only a small portion, a leg, before pivoting and providing the entire thing. It feels to me a bit like the process of carving up a kingdom or something similar. The lords (represented by the squires) take what they want and leave aside what they don't; or perhaps they have eaten to their fill and can take no more. Then when his time comes, Jon first considers a small piece of land/group of people before eventually absorbing all of whatever is left behind. The concept of carving up a kingdom rings harder considering that we have several callbacks to the ideals of kingship in this chapter. Robert, Jaime, Tyrion, and even Mance though we don't know it yet, all play into this. And then there's the aspect of Jon letting the chicken slip between his legs which evokes birth/fatherhood, a very curious choice when GRRM could've just had Jon place the chicken on the floor. So land/people are carved up and Jon then uses whatever is left to birth his own type of kingdom. And this kingdom is one for the Old Gods.
This also touches on something that has been quite prevalent throughout Jon's arc. It's the concept of accepting the "others" or "those left over" who live apart from the accepted social norms. Arya (a tomboy), Sam (a gender non-confirming boy), the Night's Watch (criminals, extra sons, and men who have no future left or place to go), and even the wildlings are all examples of this. And Jon takes on a leadership/paternal role to every single one of them. He looks after them as a leader would/should. Sometimes, in the case of Arya and the wildlings, he's equated to a king. He's a steward/shepherd/king. There's messianic undertones to this:
Come unto me, all you who are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30).
If you're familiar with Judeo-Christian tradition, you'll know that Jesus is often personified as one who spent the majority his time among the outcasts. The idea is that he came to save them too and that anew kingdom (or new earth depending on your translation) would spring up after the end of the world where he would forever rule as king; which presents the idea of a final king after the earthly ones are done away with. Now GRRM isn't so heavy handed with Christian allusions as other authors out there, but he does have a Catholic background and Jon is so overtly a Jesus figure. And in Revelation, Jesus is king and god at the very end....
One last thing: the mention of the mongrel who challenges Jon has always been rather interesting but confusing to me. A mongrel doesn't really relate to one specific type of dog. But it's interesting that Jon notes several roaming about where he is. They follow the serving girls who carry the food to be offered. Mongrels are used to describe antagonist/villainous groups in ASOIAF. Sometimes, they're used to describe slavers in Essos. But what's interesting is that most of the time, they're used to describe Euron's Ironborn especially in Victorian's POV. So I don't think the mongrel who challenges Ghost is a supernatural threat of death (i.e., the Others) but rather a human one. They represent those who are called to the scene once the lords have finished playing their games. It almost feels like a feast for (carrion) crows....
But it doesn't really matter because this mongrel isn't much of a challenge for Ghost. Though the mongrel is much larger, the direwolf is able to fend her off very effortlessly. Given that "mongrel" is used to describe Ironborn raiders, could this exchange between Ghost and the mongrel point to reavers or sea raiders who rise and fail challenge Jon kingdom? There is a historical King Jon Stark who did this....
When sea raiders landed in the east, Jon drove them out and built a castle, the Wolf's Den, at the mouth of the White Knife, so as to be able to defend the mouth of the river.[1][2] His son, Rickard, followed him on the throne and annexed the Neck to the north.
ref.
So this might shed some light not only on Jon's already published arc, but also on what we can expect in the future. We have some foreshadowing through Jon's ADWD dream that he will not only rise with the dawn (thereby live through the Long Night), but will be in a position to lead people (wildings in that chapter) to a new peace after a hard fought war. Also remember that the wildlings, rather enthusiastically, swear oaths to him as if swearing oaths to their king. In this instance, the supernatural (a dream of the war for the dawn) is followed by the natural/human. So perhaps this particular passage (and Jon's dream) can be used to predict that Jon comes out on top, and quite effortlessly too, as a leader. And he becomes a leader who rules by association with the Old Gods; or rules a kingdom for them.
To end, I think it's of note that this passage immediately precedes Jon's conversation with Benjen where he voices his desire to go out on his own - the hero's call to action. This is the adventure that's going to kickstart his growth as a man, warrior and most importantly, a leader. So it looks like before we even began, GRRM telegraphed how it would all end in just three short paragraphs.
#jon snow#asoiaf#valyrianscrolls#ghost the direwolf#some random extra thoughts:#the aspect of fatherhood is closely tied to kingship as kings are often regarded to be the fathers of their nations#so we might see a parallel where jon-like dany-doesn't have children of his own physical body#but rather rules a kingdom as its symbolic father#think of how odin-a mythical parallel for jon-is called the all father because he is father to all men/lands#also it's interesting to me how kingship is a theme but it's almost like the actual theme is that of kings coming of going#but jon remaining and prevailing above all#we have robert who is a disappointing/bad king and his rule doesn't last very long and neither will his dynasty#jaime looks like a king and even if grrm didn't go through with his original ideas he was never meant to rule for long#in the new story jaime is symbolic of rhaegar a would be king whose time comes and goes leaving jon to pick up the pieces#then tyrion who stands “as tall as a king” but not quite! he still is not as tall as jon and tyrion also says in a later chapter#that soon he'll be even shorter than ghost + tyrion wasn't hand for long#mance who is hidden also has his time as king but it's very short lived and jon later absorbs his kingdom to make his own#so we have the wolf devouring the “left behinds” in a way but the interesting thing is this happens in reverse doesn't it#might Jon's new kingdom not only be made of remnants of the nw and wildlings but also have those left behind from the rest of the 7k?#it's possible since jojen tells us that once night comes all cloaks become black 🙂#so yeah this is all just more jon endgame king of winter/a new north propaganda lmaoooo
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#kirby#knife kirby#knives#kirby makes stuff#cursed image#daily kirby#my art#digital#hal laboratory#nintendo#y'all I was well enough to cut out the rest of the extra stickers that have been sitting on my desk since january.#I'll probably be listing the leftover stickers and prints from kirb2k on kofi tomorrow <3#I'd only meant to do it 3 entire months ago :v#like I cannot fully convey just how incredibly ill I've been.#(I have a lot of extra stickers cuz I ordered 2 sheets of 14 individuals and they sent me 5 sheets for some reason I think)#also his eyes are weird cuz I just got a new bootleg kirby in the mail and he was even more jank than the product photos promised :D#(everything else I ordered has been as pictured so far so best possible outcomes all around lol)#honestly kinda mad that improving my condition was This Friggin Easy tbh#although thank god it has finally improved.#like the med we raised is available otc and I absolutely could've raised the dose myself if I wasn't too sick to think.#(we are still adding another med once the pharmacy fills the new prescription but even this is. night and day.)
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i like to think reg is more fond of being a drinker, likes the taste of some and knows he can be out of it when he's in a secure place, especially with rhm.
rhm on the other hand i like to think doesn't drink not just because he's never really wanted to anyway, and not just because he'd rather stay sober to keep reg safe, but also mayhaps just fears not being aware of his surroundings 24/7 . slaps him with paranoia <3
want to make a little comic of reg realizing really early on that rhm never joins in on drinking on any occasion at all and questions him about it snarkily at first and gets a snarky answer back as a fun banter but afterwards maybe reg realizes more and more how rhm's always keeping a hawk's eye out for danger when he's drinking. deeper into their bond a good time later, reg would offer rhm a drink when he's 100% sure they can be safe from any random event that would not ensure their safety and maybe rhm would accept after some hesitation. mostly cuz it's probably been years since he's touched a drink and doesn't wanna act strange after drinking but also isn't convinced something wouldn't come up while he's not fully in his senses.
#idk i like to think about many possibilities and reasons for my preference on rhm being the sober one while reg likes drinking a lot#cant imagine the guilt that would hit him hard for a moment when he realizes he probably put rhm through crazy stress when-#he had been drinking till he preferred rhm's help on escorting him back to their hq or room#if they're not /too/ close i think reg wpuld eventually let himself think the rhm gotta do his job and he does it good by keeping him safe#so what of it. if i drink a little more#but me thinks when they're really attached and bonded then reg just might stop drinking till he's not making sense even if it was-#sometimes before#or maybe. talks it out with rhm and learns from him he doesnt mind being extra alert if it means reg can loosen up to his heart's desire-#after stressful work :P#i talk a lot about thrm in my head that i should let out here more often .#reg would also offer rhm safe places to drink as well whenver he feels like it again. esp if he'd like wilhelm's company too#just a place with ppl he can trust and no interference from anyone else
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i must talk to the guy who offered me the part time bookkeeper job again (wasn't 100% sure i was qualified for it when he first brought it up lol) and depending on what the pay is, i may survive after all
#i am moving money around arbitrarily in my accounts to pretend that i am doing something#and I've gotten the credit card debt low enough now that it's theoretically possible to have it paid off before i would have my surgery#which of course is only the case if i use the e-begged amount for the current debt and then just take on more debt lol#so far I've only pulled from it to make my payments to joss for the amount that i borrowed from her for the myofunctional therapy#so that way i don't have to give her my entire bonus next summer lol#so if this extra job pays even what I'm hoping for as a low estimate i should make it#and escape the pits of debt slavery in like 2 years#i think
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Dungeon Meshi omegaverse headcanons because I can
1) the different human folks have different versions and different degrees but we’re gonna focus on the elves because I want to
2) afab alphas and amab omegas are just a thing that happens, it’s pretty normal and not considered worth commenting on unless you’re really insular, so while there are some sexist stereotypes (like that afab alphas are more attentive parents, although not as good as any omega) it’s not on the “male omega bad” side
It’s about 20% of the alpha/omega population (and betas make up about 60% of the human population so 8% of people total), so not hugely common but way more common than red hair and only a little less than being left handed
Some amab omegas can carry children (especially with magical assistance) and it’s actually a little easier for afab alphas to sire children, since that’s a one time output rather than a prolonged physical process
You also get things like secondary sex homosexuality (alpha-for-alpha gay, ditto omegas) which are basically ignored anyway unless someone’s fussing about bloodlines, and difficult cases like alpha-presenting-omega; an omega who reads like an alpha in scent and all other aspects except when they’re on heat
That’s hard to detect before the cycle actually starts and causes rampant excitement every time, but since alphas being with other alphas isn’t considered noteworthy except in high society, it’s also only a problem around the cycle
3) just like they don’t have sexual dimorphism, there’s no visible external differences between elves in secondary sex either
They’re more about magic than physical force, so you might be able to tell the difference based on their magical specialties (that’s how elves claim they do it but it’s bullshit they are lying)
This often confuses other folks who do; tallmen alphas are physically larger and more muscular (Falin’s an alpha) and omegas are smaller and slimmer, but all the elves are small and slim so tallmen often think they’re all omegas this is not helped by
4) almost all the Canaries are omegas; service is a doubly beneficial arrangement for noble families, who offer their children to show their loyalty just like canon… and to keep inconvenient extra bloodlines from cropping up if those extra omegas have kids
All of the wardens are omegas (except possibly Flamela; this is actually another reason why she’s not allowed into dangerous dungeons) and most of the prisoners are too, although occasionally alphas are allowed to serve
This is not considered a risk because while alphas are more aggressive, elves also consider them less capable leaders since they’re more likely to lose their heads and act rashly when riled up (like when Izutsumi was a kobold from the changelings and had to be stopped from fighting til she died) and just generally less capable, so an alpha convict with their magic bound isn’t considered a serious threat to a capable omega warden
Alphas also don’t necessarily fight to the death, since there’s all the posturing and fighting for position
Elf omegas, on the other hand, will tear your fucking throat out at the first sign of violence because if a fight gets to them it needs to be ended immediately to protect the babies
They have absolutely weaponized this against the demon and the dungeons by intentionally putting their omegas in combat situations
Alpha prisoners are usually only assigned to a single warden for the duration of their service, because they tend to get overprotective of their omega squad-mates and don’t handle personnel shifts well
5) The wardens get sterilized as part of their training, the prisoners are required to be on birth control for the duration of their service but can also request sterilization - birth control’s usually by magical implant so it’s not a huge inconvenience but listen if you want that ute yote it’s yoten
6) Heat cycles absolutely do sync up between themselves and with rut cycles, and the squads get mandatory downtime for a month on either side; luckily they’re elves so they’re on multi-annual cycles rather than seasonal
(Elves who find out how often short-lived omegas go into heat tend to react with shock and sympathy and an immediate “ooooh this is why you die so early”)
(More than one squad have accidentally maimed their alpha if they have a surprise heat)
How a squad handles group heat is up to them, suppressants are part of the basic gear, as are knotting toys, and there’s a whole industry of “heat hotels” where any human single omegas can go to ride out a heat safely either alone with toys or with vetted beta staff (on birth control) of their choosing - the Canaries semi-regularly take them over and occasionally incite orgies because while the heat demands a knot what elves accept as dominance is magical power, not position, so the strongest arcanist in a squad usually reads as an “alpha” to other humans despite their actual sexes
And since there’s no actual rules that omegas can’t hook up for a cycle at the heat house, so long as everyone arrives and agrees before they go into heat it’s a “the more the merrier” situation
They also sync up between different types of humans, but elves sync very slowly and have such long cycles almost no one notices
For no godly reason gnomes sync the fastest but they have relatively mild cycles and don’t seem to mind
Fuck it cycle table:
Dwarves - 6 month cycle - 1 week rut/heat
Elves - 2-3 year cycle - 2 weeks rut/heat
Gnomes - 4 month cycle - 5 days rut/heat
Half-foots(feet?) - 2 month cycle - 3 days rut/heat
Oni - 2 month cycle - 5 days rut/heat
Tall-men - 2 month cycle - 5-7 days rut/heat
7) Mithrun’s squad are extra goddamn protective of him because his cycle also got broken and doesn’t sync properly, but he deadass will not notice when he’s on heat and just continues as usual, while radiating pheromones. He also will not take suppressants any more than he’ll drink or eat
Luckily he also almost never actually goes onto heat, so he just vibes and trains while everyone else is on their heat break and occasionally gets impatient and starts bar fights
Lycion’s been a permanent squad member despite not being an alpha (he’s a beta but the werewolf gets a knot anyway sooooo he’s busy on heat breaks) because he can smell when Mithrun’s going onto heat ahead of time, way before anyone else can
Mithrun’s gone into heat twice since rejoining the Canaries. Cithis, Otta, and Fleki bitch about this constantly with varying degrees of envy, right up until the next time it happens out of the blue and they have to drag his dumb ass out of a dungeon because literally no one was prepared
Otta’s not even an omega she’s a beta too so she uses their heat breaks to flirt with half-foot women which is why she has enough time to date despite being a convict death squad member
(And yeah she’ll “help out” any half-foot lady omegas if they’re not actually already in heat when they arrive at a house the squad’s taken over and can hold a conversation first cuz while technically everyone else can still go through their heat alone and ignore the elves…
Well they’re loud, they’re expansive, Fleki is allergic to personal space, even in heat Cithis has enough top energy to dominate a city block, and Lycion only has one knot and will occasionally need to sleep - more than the heated omegas. They like sharing and there are no consequences provided the hotel has a room big enough)
Fleki will absolutely still use her familiar while she’s on heat and she will not remember to tell anyone she’s doing it, but since she basically just flies away until the next wave demands she get fucked again it’s not all that different from taking a nap from anyone else’s perspective
(Flying in heat is nowhere near as good as flying on shrooms but it does still beat reality)
(Everyone. Everyone has asked her if she’s fucked in the bird. Absolutely everyone. And she never specifies but makes absolutely filthy and biologically unlikely insinuations.
She absolutely did try it once. And since her familiar has genitals at her own discretion, and didn’t google bird genitals before hand, results were Mid)
Cithis has been denied access - or have had people attempt to deny her access anyway - to more than one heat house because absolutely no one who is not an elf believes she’s not an alpha without proof
All the elves have Elf Twink Disease so their alphas aren’t buff and macho anyway and everyone knows it, so her sheer Step On Me Please energy has gotten the whole squad into trouble
(She blatantly refuses to do anything about this and will often make the situation worse for fun or profit until Mithrun tells her to stop)
8) half elves like Marcille have the extremely exciting and unfortunate bonus of potentially being crosses in secondary sex too, just like the non-linear aging - something about the long-lived/shorter-lived magic combo and the elves’ own permutations in particular mean that other human-alpha and elf-beta/omega sometimes happen on the same gene, and other human-omega and elf-beta/alpha is also more likely than elf-alpha and other human-alpha coming together
Some half elves get lucky and get double beta, Marcille did not and got beta-omega (which is at least easier than alpha-omega, the rarest combo but hey if you’re flexible or magically inclined with that one you can kinda just go fuck yourself)
This is why she gets super over-protective of the people she cares about (see: get back in the kitchen while I take over the world), but doesn’t really have any kind of self preservation instincts or a desire not to run face first into danger and explode it
She’s never had a heat cycle and if she’s lucky she might never get one, so long as the beta side stays dominant
But Falin’s an alpha and possibly the person who activated Marcille’s omega side to get that over-protectiveness in the first place, so if (when) they do mate Marcille is gonna learn some fun and exciting things about her body
(Toshiro’s an omega, but his family insisted on raising him like an alpha anyway because Oldest Son. Falin was the one to actually tell him he was an omega, because Maizuru was ordered not to
This is part of why he’s so incredibly jealous of Laios, who is an actual alpha as well as autistic as hell, so Shuro’s not only jealous of his complete disregard for social rules, he’s also exceedingly jealous that all of the “alpha” stuff he has to work incredibly hard to fake comes to Laios completely naturally
Laios had no idea Shuro was an omega at all (possibly Nakamoto family scent blockers, possibly Laios Not Paying Attention) and has actually been idolizing Shuro as the Manliest Best Alpha To Ever Alpha - like all them flashbacks of Shuro standing between downed Laios and danger
Maybe Laios doesn’t find out until after Falin’s revived successfully. It blows his mind. Toshiro weeps in frustration.)
9) fuck it it’s official, alpha Flamela, that’s why her twin was taken (twin was an omega, elves still think alphas are too impulsive and hot headed to rule) and Flamela wasn’t stopped from running off to join the Canaries
They did try to skip the sterilizing step with her, cuz while the coal black skin definitively doesn’t reliably pass from parent to child there’s still a chance her kids would have better odds of inheriting it
Flamela lost her shit when she found out she was being treated differently from other wardens (doing other elven alphas absolutely no favours about that “too impulsive” thing because she genuinely didn’t even notice that what was happening was that she wasn’t being given invasive and permanently life altering often nonconsensual surgery) and threatened to do it to herself if they wouldn’t do her
Someone suggested they fake it, put her under, make the cut, leave everything alone so she just got a scar, someone else pointed out she might be slightly less knife happy afterwards, the smartest person in the room pointed out she would be Exceedingly Fucking Knife Happy if she ever found out and possibly kill them all
She was sterilised at her own insistence but her genetic materials (eggs and sperm why not) were stored rather than discarded in case she changes her mind
This has also alienated her from the other wardens because not only is she the only one who actually volunteered to be a Canary, she volunteered for the whole thing and genuinely doesn’t get why any of them are unhappy about it
Rut isn’t all that fun and she doesn’t think heat sounds good either, since her default position with people is distrust and keeping them at arm’s length, so she always rides hers out alone and assumes others will too - but both sound way way way better to her than having to carry or raise a child
She’s not cruel or aggressive about it but she’s about as tactful as a rhinoceros and just gets loudly confused, so it’s not worth trying to confide in her or bond over the extra level of being discarded by their families
(And since she hates gossip and will aggressively curtail it, she only finds out what anyone else on her squad does for heat if she actually has to help arrange it)
She was so offended to find out she’d still have rut cycles after surgery. The one thing absolutely every other warden can agree with her on
Most elf alphas are actually significantly more level headed and stable than Flamela, she still has her entirely independent emotional baggage but she is what all the elven stereotypes say an alpha is
There’s some real world racist bs about Black women and especially darker skinned Black women being less feminine, but it’s bullshit and fuck that it’s illegal here, alpha women are just a thing that happens and it has nothing to do with gender
Flamela’s not especially feminine either by elf standards, but that’s her decision and she is beauty, she is grace, she will stab you in the face and you’d deserve it if you commented
10) communication pixies are affected by their maker’s heat, but not by getting anything similar themselves; it’s an intentional part of the spell, the pixie gets all sleepy and “drunk” and will not connect any calls without a specific code word, because absolutely no one wanted heat-sex pixie butt dials
This isn’t just an elf thing but it is in the elf-magic version of the spell; if you make a pixie with gnome-magic instead there’s a 75% chance it will also go dozy during your heat buuuuut a 25% chance it just keeps going as normal
General consensus is that the ephemeral will of magic either can’t tell when humans go into heat or considers the occasional magic butt dial necessary to the balance of the universe
A lot of older gnomes just plain don’t care about any of it and think it’s a bit funny when anyone else makes such a big fuss, since it’s just another part of life
(If Falin ever makes a pixie you KNOW it stays active during her rut you KNOW Marcille gets a butt dial dear gods is this how the Farcille confession happens in this AU)
11) orcs and kobolds don’t actually have secondary sexes by dint of not being human (wrong number of bones) and tend to consider the whole thing a little weird, but not their problem
Some orcs suspect the whole alpha-omega thing is why humans get violently territorial for basically no reason, and the sympathetic ones tend to be very gentle with someone once they learn they’re an alpha or omega
Big “oh you poor thing that sounds so difficult, let’s make sure you don’t get over excited” energy
———
I’ll add more later if I come up with anything else, but by all means hop into my sand box and play with anything you like!
A bunch of other characters and their alignments in no particular order:
Kabru - beta, but one of his only decent spells is to fake either alpha or omega pheromones at will. He’ll play any of the roles to get what he wants and what he thinks will serve him best
(He almost always plays omega with elves because 1) they don’t respect alphas the way most other humans do and 2) they’re gonna read him as a child anyway, so having specific “adult” pheromones might occasionally sway them to respect him a little more, but they’re also more likely to subconsciously protect him
He tried alpha on Mithrun when they were alone in the dungeon for all of 15 minutes before determining Mithrun couldn’t tell the difference
(Mithrun could he just doesn’t care))
Namari - alpha, works well with usually being the party tank, but as a dwarf her instincts are more “provide for needs” than “fight off enemies” which is why she loves armour and wants other people to wear it
Senshi - omega, he’s going to see the babies fed by any means necessary (but yeah it’s part of why his mining crew didn’t let him fight the griffin, he hadn’t fully hit his second puberty but they Had Suspicions)
However, since he lived alone most of his life (and was surrounded by alphas before that) he presents almost entirely as an alpha, and unless he hits heat no non-dwarfs will ever notice he isn’t
There’s not a huge difference between dwarf alpha, beta, and omegas anyway, but the alphas tend more towards crafts and making or procuring physical items to see to their loved ones’ needs while the omegas are more focused on acts of service
(Physically they’re just all Like That, like the elves)
Every dwarf who has ever met Senshi clocked him as an alpha in the first five minutes, and clocked him equally hard as an omega ten minutes later and had some mild cognitive dissonance. None of them mention it because that’s Rude
Izutsumi - alpha cat, hates you all
Chilchuck - tallest skinniest half foot omega you ever did see. Has adopted his entire union since he doesn’t see his girls anymore. His wife was a beta and the only reason she got them in the “divorce” was the girls had already moved out
(She moved in with Puckpatti)
Chilchuck is constantly low-grade losing his shit about it
Maizuru - omega, deeply dislikes how Toshiro’s father has treated him and does genuinely believe deep down that an omega like Toshiro might be a better leader specifically because he’s more empathic and considerate than their society’s demanded alpha behaviour
She will be miffed to be told the elves agree with her though
Rin - beta, accidentally presents as an omega because she picked it up in self defence while living with the elves. She does not like it but she does tend to keep herself closed off, avoid skin contact, and comes off as trying too hard not to seem meek, so people with opinions on strangers’ sexes assume she’s an omega who escaped a bad situation
(They’re not fully wrong, she hates that they’re not)
Kaka and Kiki - Kaka’s an omega, Kiki’s a beta but she intentionally presents as an alpha to keep anyone from noticing or saying shit about her brother
If she’s loud and noticeable, they won’t wonder why he’s shyer and quiet
(Kaka 1000% imprinted on Namari the first time she saved his life she is his big strong alpha he is a helpless fucking puppy so even though he’s self conscious about his height he can’t help wanting her to like his legs
Unfortunately for him Namari’s gay as hell and Kiki’s extremely into her as well and he wants his twin to be happy so he’ll be pining forever and make do with a familial alpha bond)
(Namari will never know she coulda had her pick)
Mikbell - beta cuck and a scab
Holm - the only actual alpha on Kabru’s team, has definitely noticed him switching up the pheromones and he mostly doesn’t care, he thinks that secondary-sex-fluidity is actually a really good quality in a leader (it shows he respects all of them and acknowledges the strengths they all have)
But when it comes to his sister Nope Nope Nope buster don’t you dare seduce her with some mocked up alpha juice
His sister is also an alpha but she’s alpha-for-alpha gay and gender bisexual and he’s not having it
Daya - omega, but prefers to present as an alpha because she’s actually just not that comfortable with the stereotypical omega “role”
(Again for dwarves, it’s mostly “will do caretaking” over “will procure necessary items”, but her birth clan were heavy traditionalists who considered an omega’s primary job to be “be pregnant” so she’s tossed the whole situation)
(Her partner is an alpha and oh boy did he have to work to prove he was nothing like the boys back home. He’s fully happy to be the caretaker while she brings home the bacon and she loves him for that
Most dwarves will assume he’s the omega unless told otherwise, and they’re both very comfortable with that on the extremely rare occasion that it comes up since Island dwarves usually don’t care anyway)
Kuro - kobold, not his problem, but oh boy he’s adopted Mikbell as his puppy and is gonna do his best taking care of this man
He’s fully aware Mik’s a mature adult (despite how often he pretends to be a kid to fuck with people), he can smell his pheromones, he just believes Mikbell needs a father or at least older brother figure to guide him more than just a buddy
(He and Kabru also suspect Mik might be into non sexual (probably?) age play, since he claims he acts like a kid to fuck over assholes who assume half-foots can’t be real adults, but he does it A Lot and with joy and fervour)
(Mikbell can never learn this)
Grandpa Tansu - cranky lil alpha gnome
Granny Floke - also a lil alpha gnome, they’re also alpha-for-alpha gay, but she likes watching her husband get all loud and up in arms so she doesn’t bother getting involved much
(Full Madame Giry from the good Phantom of the Opera productions, she only has to say one word to put her foot down but she actually is a nice smiling little old lady… which makes it scarier when she does it)
Tade - alpha oni, but in oni omegas and afabs are actually much bigger so she’s still pretty small for an oni (bigger than amab alphas though)
This does tend to confuse pretty much everyone else but those little buggers come out BIG and HORNED and it’s just better all around to have more space for the lil niblets
This is why Marcille’s oni form was head and shoulders too big to be seen standing next to her party she’d’ve been around a foot and a half taller than Tade because I said so
Thistle - oh the saddest most broken lil elf omega, he was in a bad way before Delgal’s dad died and then when Delgal did the “only you can save us we’re all gonna die” Thistle reverse-pioneered the Canaries by going into omega-murder-mode so hard he dungeoned an entire kingdom
And since there was not a single alpha older than him anywhere to be found he just never got to turn that off (if only someone scruffed the little bastard idk if that’s an omegaverse thing but the imagery is peak)
Imma headcanon he never actually had a cycle by dint of not finishing elf-puberty before he went Kingdom In A Bottle and stopped aging but honestly any flavour of fuckery and whenever you think he stopped aging is all good
(Since not only was Yaad born post dungeon, he grew to young adulthood and other people did age, they just didn’t die, so aging was for sure happening for like 20 years post dive)
Winged Lion - the alpha and the omega solely for the joke
If you can think of anyone else or if you have any questions lemme know and I’ll spin something off the dome for ya! (This totally wasn’t prompted by me nearly having the first full chapter of. Something. Ready to go. 👀)
If anyone else wants to chop and screw with any bits of this for any reason go wild and all I ask is a tag in because I like free candy as much as anyone else. Despite Farcille commentary it’s technically ship agnostic because honestly that’s the least interesting part of an omegaverse AU for me I’m here to get weird with sex and gender roles and cultural variance
I haven’t actually played in this sand pit much before so we can all thank/blame Omega Jason Todd week for finally tipping my interest over by giving me new levels of fuckery, we stan a 6’ omega built like a tank
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#omegaverse#dungeon meshi omegaverse#omega mithrun owns my ass#and not gonna lie so does alpha flamela 90% because their dynamic is already so fucked#and adding a layer of ‘mithrun could not care less about his heat but flamela will fucking die before she goes on rut on the same continent’#leading to some ‘flamela violently forcing mithrun into a hazmat suit the SECOND anyone (lycion) even HINTS he might go on heat cuz Hell No’#with a dash of mithrun’s convicts being horrible little bastards about it for fun and profit#flamela running around to a) find the heated omega who is in danger (wandered off) and b) carry him back to his nest in The Longest Tongs#just so she can’t possibly smell him and have an extra rut#is pretty much the entire first chapter of The Least Sexy Heat Fic Of All Time#but i’m having a wonderful time with it#dungeon meshi spoilers#delicious in dungeon spoilers#elves are fucked up#and it makes them more fun#omega mithrun#alpha laios#alpha falin#beta kabru who Will Never Let Anyone Know cuz he’s having too much fun faking and switching pheromones#cuz sure he could be an alpha that’s the formula for these situations but No You Don’t Get It it’s so much funnier if he isn’t#cuz he works so hard to convince himself and everyone else he’s the perfect leader#an alpha with self confidence could never#also fuck you he gets alpha-omega-genderfluid vibes because i say so#we inventing all sorts of new directions to be queer in everybody’s getting at least one
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alternatively‚
Also if you’ve only read the main comic so far I recommend also checking out the extras tag! There’s a lot more fun stuff in there (like. A lot)
#gonna be honest this was mostly to set up the second joke#omgcp#none of this is answered by that tag tho so:#1)#fry guy’s that dude in I think year 3 at the game that shitty and jack were at#they spilled fries on him. and I think he shows up a few more times after that.#to be disturbed by the smh#and people made edits with him for a while#2)#swoops is one of Kent’s teammates from an extra and it wasn’t even his name it was a basketball term.#and ngozi didn’t know that’s what we were calling him until someone asked about him during a livestream I think.#his name is Jeff Lastname (he has a last name I just can’t remember it rn)#3)#and I have no idea where holster’s knee injury came from.#as far as I can tell not supported by canon except that he was in juniors and then he wasn’t. possibly and probably completely made up <3#I actually do not know how much of that is common knowledge this is a very accurate joke.#….#actually hang on I’m trying to remember if johnson is ever in the comic like. metaphysically.#WAIT he’s in the dibs hockey shit.
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I loved the cowboy comic so much that I wrote a oneshot for it. https://archiveofourown.org/works/50934235 🥺 your art is BEYOND amazing, ty for the food
INCREDIBLE!!!!!
#billdip#I honestly loved this story start to finish with the ambience and quick pace#hadn't considered the possibility of Bill and Dipper actually working *together* but it's always a good time when they do ❤️#sorry it took so long to reblog 🥲#I read it like- Right when you posted. But I had to catch a plane and then drive an extra hour home and immediately get on zoom for class#and today i was just all around exhausted so i slept roughly 70% of the entire day dndsjdndnd#all that to say that I had your fic in the back of my mind and I very much wanted to set some time aside and re-read it when I got the chan#honestly with how well you set things up I would've loved to see your own rendition of their first kiss#You established their relationship really well at the start and brought them together by the end after outsmsrtong those bandits#it feels like you have a better understanding of who they are to each other than even i do 😌 very much a fan#i love when stories incorporate those sort of 'habits' that the love interests fall into#that confuses character A while character B is so clearly using it as an excuse to get close and spend more time with them#i squealed like a maniac when Bill was like oooph lemme walk you home 😏🤠#sir i am going to wrangle you up if you don't compose yourself#and Dipper's just wary of him because people as handsome as bill used to pick on him 😢#little does he know he's grown into a 10/10 cutie patootie that any cowboy would be stupid NOT to smooch#I'm a simple man. I read oblivious low-confidence cowboy being pursued by a hottie on a horse. I lose my shit#Awesome wonderful writing!!! so happy to have caught your eye and i hope to continue pumping out content for this wonderfully weird ship
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I love T'Pol, I just wish certain ppl in charge had not used her character for certain things
#star trek enterprise#st enterprise#lb#rant#i mean most notably she is so sexually objectified and it had to be some Person in charge's/decision :/#im not even opposed to doing it! if archer and trip had been half named with middrifts out being oogled by the camera often too#but it was definitely Extra targeted at TPol and thats frustrating especially when u want star trek#to remind you of a Better possible future rather than the shortcomings of present reality :/#also its so clear they wanted her as a shippable option with multiple main characters#(malcom. archer. trip)#and while id be fine with that - again id like it better IF all the characters were being treated as Very Shippable!#but its mostly TPol that gets used for it#malcom and travis arent both crushing on Hoshi! hoshi isnt crushing on archer! etc#i realize its a spock/kirk/mccoy situation where trip archer tpol got more screen time than anyone else#which is partly WHY tpol is written in more shipping situations and sexualized situations#(and partly why its ONLY her... because they only did straight romance which limits making archer or trip more#romantic options for other characters)#but its just... TPol isnt a flirt like Riker! or like Bashir! or Jadzia!#her character implies she'd get into romance as much as Sisko or less (so somewhat... but not mixed up in such storylines#nearly as much as shes thrown into them)
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Was poking Conficcare about him & Muros relationship and his answer to "why would it disgust you to kiss him" was 'defilement of a corpse'... ffs
Muro 🤝 Conficcare
Pretending Celia was this saint of a kid who died and Muro is what's left and there is no continuation or whatever between the two and Muro is just the monster who is wholly distinct from the scared kid exept in the way he's a corrupted perversion of her.
Im fucking shaking these two tramatized idiots. Death of innocence is not meant to be taken literally!!!!!!!!
#gold & silver#celia#conficcare#Muros answer is Conficcare is to bony to be attractive#Bc he's the normal one for once#[Lying- its bc his status and physical strength already make him a threat in Conficcares eyes#and presenting himself as possibly attracted to him will make Conficcare even more wary of him]#Neither of them would want to be in a relationship or romantic anyway#They r just extra weird about it for other reasons
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vent in tags sorry
cw: mention of loss
#adding a long note to the beginning so no one sees the actual vent in the case that they don’t want to which is absolutely okay#okay that’s probably good#i feel like a failure today.#my car wouldn’t start on friday and i haven’t had a moment to actually call a mechanic until today#called early in the morning and he said he’d call me back with a time#i’ve reached out multiple times since then and have heard NOTHING#if i don’t get it fixed today i’ll have to take my partners car instead#and when i asked them if that would possibly be okay#they started off on a rant about how they were planning to do all this shit tomorrow morning and now can’t if they don’t have their car#but genuinely. how tf was i supposed to know about their plans?? why did they have to say it all like this is completely my fault???#i’m sorry that i’m still in a not so good mental place right now and might forget to do things in a more timely manner#i’ve had two grandparents pass away in the span of a few WEEKS. give me a little grace.#i give them the same understanding every day when they’re having a rough time#so why can’t they offer me the same thing?#i know they’re just stressed and tired and busy but FUCK SO AM I#i’m just. over it. i want to go to sleep.#and by sleep i mean literal sleep i’m not insinuating anything darker i promise#i may be in a rough spot mentally but it is not that kind of rough <3 i’m safe#just. very tired. and in need of support.#i feel like i’m always giving and rarely getting support in this relationship.#and now i’m just feeling like a burden and an inconvenience for even needing the extra support in the first place#the urge to run away and start my life over is strong holy shit
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