#possible asd
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See my parents do that now, and a psychiatrist has also said that. But I am convinced I have asd because the adhd criteria just doesn't fit me and the asd criteria does but my parents are convinced I have to be faking because a couple months ago I didn't act like this. But also, a couple months ago, I stopped consciously and unconsciously masking my symptoms because I realized that it was okay to show these symptoms, but as soon as I did I realized that maybe it isn't because of all these negative reactions.
Excuse my rant...
//tw ableism (maybe?)
Neurodivergent culture is only just realizing that you didn't start mimicking other neurodivergent people's traits when you realized you're ND (like your parents and peers always accuse you of doing), and that you actually just realized subconsciously that it's okay to display those neurodivergent traits without masking them all, purely as a result of seeing other neurodivergent people not masking those traits constantly to appeal to NTs.
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#neurodivergent culture#actually neurodivergent#neurodivergent culture is#neurodivergent#possible asd#possible adhd#questioning asd
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our autism isnt professionally diagnosed and it definitely wasnt self diagnosed either, but a secret third thing :)
#fungal spores#actually autistic#autism#asd#the secret is that multiple medical professionals have told us that we fit the bill for level 1 autism perfectly but refuse to diagnose us#because we dont 'look' autistic... despite that literally being mentioned as a possibility in level 1 autism.........
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Reblog with a character you'd like to bestow this honor.
#project batman#batman#aspergers#asperger's syndrome#world asperger's syndrome day#autism#autism headcanon#autistic characters#neurodivergent#neurodiverse#actually neurodiverse#possibly autistic#possibly aspergers#autism spectrum disorder#asd#on the spectrum
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💖good old fashioned lover boy💖
Bonus:
I like Wolfwood a lot
#pps art#digital art#digital drawing#trigun stampede#vash the stampede#nicholas d. wolfwood#vashwood#vash x wolfwood#their dynamic in stampede is so funny cuz why does Vash keep looking at him like that?? 'Just look at his eyes' my asd what the#then Wolfwood just putting up with Vash's puppy behavior bullshit and literally saying he'll possibly kill him if he ends up dying#and Vash just like 'Wolfwood <3'-- like hUH????
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I don't know if it's occurred to anyone recently, that the real/biggest reason that Lex Luthor felt like an alien while growing up in Smallville wasn't just that he was extremely intelligent (to an admittedly astronomical degree), but mainly due to the fact that he was hypersensitive, struggled to connect with people unless he felt they were very similar to him and was basically socially inept, all likely due to a possibly undiagnosed neurological condition (your guess is as good as any).
I feel like it's been heavily implied for a while now in certain Superman works that Lex may have literally been on the autism spectrum or have grown up with a related condition. Combine that with super genius intellect, a deeply ingrained sense of superiority and entitlement as well as emotional growth-stunting abuse, and you have a recipe for the perfect completely unstable, super villain catastrophe.
Likewise, I think it's been implied for a while now that Clark is also a representation of what being neurodivergent is like, but with the metaphor being made actual. Hence why he doesn't "feel like" an alien. He IS an alien. An alien that has had to mask what makes him different from others his entire life. With only those closest to him knowing the truth.
A perfect example of both of these concepts can be found in the first issue of the (technically...) on-going Superman miniseries Superman: The Last Days of Lex Luthor. (Same with its spiritual predecessor Superman: Birthright, if I'm being honest.)
What does anybody else think? It seems to me that only a few people at most have talked about any of this before, at least online.
#Clark Kent#Lex Luthor#neurodivergent characters#implied neurodivergence#possible ASD character(s)#quick character analysis#Superman#Superman Comics#Action Comics#DC Comics#Elseworlds#Superman Elseworlds
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✨ A reminder! The holidays are not a happy time for everyone! ✨
please, don’t expect me to “be happy” just because it’s christmas
everyone’s dealing with things that they may not be open about, such as grief, eating disorders, depression, chronic illness, financial instability, etc.
you don’t owe anyone your happiness, and your certainly don’t owe anyone your energy!
take care of yourself this holiday season 💗🎄
#actually autistic#asd#chronic pain#chronic illness#spoonie#sensory overload#actually disabled#autistic community#chronic fatigue#chronically ill#disability#undiagnosed chronic pain#autistic experiences#pain management#autism blog#autistic problems#possibly autistic#sensory problems#undiagnosed autistic#actuallyautistic#potsie#spoonies#holiday
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Of the original five X-Men, I'm probably most similar to Beast and Cyclops. But since I tend to write so much, let's just focus on Cyclops for now. Cyclops really is just me as a student (I may be generalizing, but it's mostly true). I've always been cripplingly shy and antisocial at school (or around anyone that isn't my dad), and I naturally gravitate towards liking the teachers. I tend to treat school like a place of learning, and not a place for socializing or goofing off. That's just not who I am, I guess (even now I have this problem, but I might be working on the crippling antisocial stuff. Idk).
Anyways, I haven't read the original X-Men stories in a while, but I'm pretty sure Scott embodied a lot of those same traits. He was the team's leader (or field leader if we're counting Professor X) and he was very much considered a stick in the mud, I think. He was closer to the professor than some of the others, and stuff. It's pretty relatable (if I'm remembering it all right, of course). So yeah, I'd say I'm pretty similar to Scott.
#since I'm autistic and I relate to him#does that mean I see him as autistic?#idk#It's an interesting question#but I'll tag it anyways#autistic scott summers#the x men#x men#original x men#cyclops#scott summers#autism#asd#neurodivergent#adhd#autistic#actually autistic#audhd#my thoughts#marvel#cyclops x men#I'll hedge my bets and tag everything#x men comics#x men movies#anything possibly applicable
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Questioning NPD + Autism culture is wondering if it’s even possible to develop NPD when you’re high empathy.
(Genuinely can someone help me figure this out? I think it’s just that I assume everyone else functions the same way I do, so everyone else also feels like dying when they get the slightest bit of polite criticism. But I genuinely can’t tell and there’s no resources on it.)
— 🕸🕷
.
#yeah its possible to have average or high empathy and have npd as long as you meet the other criteria#npd culture is#questioning npd culture is#autistic npd culture is#autistic questioning npd culture is#npd#actually narcissistic#actually npd#narcissistic personality disorder#cluster b#asd#autism#autism spectrum disorder#-🕸🕷
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I saw that today marks the start of OCD Awareness Week. It’s still a sensitive topic for me, but knowing now that I have it has allowed me to heal in a more efficient way from trauma I endured because of it, understand my boundaries and limits, and it has given me clearer insight on how to maintain my mental and emotional health for both myself and loved ones ❤️🩹
I really hope ours is the last generation that grows up underdiagnosed due to misinformation and stigma.
#my OCD stems from ASD and it’s explained a lot#Knowledge doesn’t make it magically disappear but understanding signs triggers etc has been effective so far and possibly life saving#at the end of the day I deserve love and respect and I deserved to have been treated better#and others deserved me at my best too#life goes on and I’m determined to make it beautiful
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I GOT DIAGNOSED!
I finally got diagnosed with Autism! I've been waiting for this since I was 16 im now 19 and it's been a week snd still feels unreal. Only thing is they also think I have ADHD which adds to my social Anxiety but I'm Diagnosed!!
#autism#actually autism#asd#autistic community#autistic life#autistic adult#autistic artist#late diagnosed autistic#possibly adhd#finally diagnosed
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How do I even bring up I may be autistic with my mom 😭
Like we don't even talk with each other.
So it would be extremely weird if I came up to her and started a conversation.
I NEED TO GET CHECKED FOR AUTISM SO BADDD I CAN'T HANDLE IT BECAUSE PRACTICALLY EVERY SYMPTOM MATCHES UP AND MY AUTISTIC FRIENDS SAY I ACT VERY AUTISTIC AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT
Bruh, I just do not know how to confront my mom about it because:
"You can't be autistic! It's a passing fad for autism to be cool, it's not that."
"Just because you do some things similar to your autistic friends doesn't mean you are autistic."
"And what will you gain out of knowing if you're autistic or not?"
"You are a good kid, you are smart and capable of doing anything. It is impossible for you to be autistic, that is only for those who are not capable and need major support."
"You're just looking for an excuse."
"And you said before you were thinking of suicide-"
And a lot of other negative responses to expect.
My problem is that I don't want to say directly to her, "Hey I may be autistic." But I want another person (with proper backing and experience), not involving me, to go up to her and talk to her about it for me. So that one day my mom could be like, "Okay well, you're experiencing symptoms of autism and so we want to get you checked for that." And for it to finally be over with.
A lot of the kids are just like "Why are you being/trying to be weird" and I just say "I dunno, I'm not trying to be weird, this is how I like to act. I dunno." And Like I'm not trying to act weird as I say, I just find it fun, and also apparently it can be a type of autistic masking too.
I have a lot of autistic friends, and only one of them said "No, I don't see it." And he's my best friend that I knew for a long time. And I'm worried I'm just making up excuses and that I'm not autistic and so on. It would be such a money-waster.
Because of this, I ended up taking some autism tests for fun of course, and literally pretty much all of them said "Yeah you have a lot of autistic tendencies." It said that 26 and above score autistic people at about 75%, and 32 and above for autistic females which was like 90% (I'm biologically a female), and I scored 36.
Autism test one
Autism test two
Autism test three
And I know these tests are not conclusive, but c'mon??? What are the chances? And on the internet, I have autistic friends I vent to, and we both go "YO? SERIOUSLY, EXACTLY, SAME-" And it's almost I can't believe how pin-point it is.
And I can relate to things in the DSM-5.
My mom always described me as "being different" "unusual" or "weird" or something.
I met my first autistic friend last year, I just came up to him and said "Hey! You look like an OC I have! Let's be friends!" And that's that. I'm pretty good at having friends. But I do have things.
I once had a meltdown, I cried on my first day in 6th grade until I got a nosebleed because there was too much noise, too many people, and too much everything and my mom had to send me home.
I once had a meltdown this year where a friend of a friend wiped something on my shirt. I ended up throwing a sandwich at her that I was midway through eating and then cried so hard in the corner. The teacher came up to me like, "Are you okay? It seems like it's something you did because of household problems." And I just didn't know how to respond and just said, "It's just this lunch."
I can't get jokes. My step-dad would be like "You're acting like a monkey!" or called me "Anna Banana" (back then before I became genderless with the name Alex) when I was younger and I would get so mad at him to the point I was so serious about it, it made me genuinely upset and I would always tell him to stop. Finally, it stopped but oh wow this was a big problem for me.
I can never read the room, once my English teacher was like "Interesting weather we're having." And I went on about the weather for a very long time. And he made a whole speech to the class about how "When I say 'interesting weather we're having,' I don't mean for it to turn into a whole conversation."
Sensory issues? I didn't wear socks until I was like 8 or 9 and was forced to start wearing them. I can't handle bras so I just don't wear them. And I still don't wear underwear (I wanna get boxers if anything, I can't stand underwear and it's always so uncomfortable). I am quite picky with the things I want to eat, wear, and have.
I was always weird or felt weird. Like the other kids didn't understand me or anything. I thought I was bipolar for a while (which is a common diagnosis with/misdiagnosis of autism), but recently I thought about it and was like, "Hold on I act way too autistic for my own good."
I believe I experienced autistic burnout for some weeks or even months. Where I just feel physically ill, like I wanna throw up, digestive issues, everything seems overbearing and I want to cry. I practically lose the ability to speak and can barely even say "I don't want to talk right now" and I don't even want to make a hum for approval. I don't want to eat, and I feel like death. I feel tired and unmotivated to do anything. Everything just comes crashing down for no reason sometimes, and I'm just tired.
I need help with how to approach this with my mom. Everything could find an excuse. And I believe it may be an excuse because it does sound like it. But a lot of the things, so many things, practically everything lines up with what I do. And so many other things I want to get a therapist for.
My step-sister once got therapy and it wasn't received well by my parents. I learned after that "therapy is useless and bad." It's expensive and I don't want to bother with it.
I need help.
What do I do?
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Stressed : Stress can be defined as a state of worry or mental tension caused by a difficult situation.
Anxious : Feeling or showing worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome. It can be a normal reaction to stress.
Overwhelmed : It affects you very strongly, and you do not know how to deal with it. You may also feel overwhelmed if a series of stressors accumulate and pile up on you.
Distressed : Is a state of extreme sorrow, suffering, or pain. Distress can occur when stress is severe, prolonged, or both.
All of these things can feel similar or may be caused by one or the other. I tend to think these feelings are basically a part of the same family as they can also cause similar symptoms or reactions in a person. They can be difficult to differentiate between as well.
#autism#actually autistic#autistic#actuallyautistic#asd#yes i pulled google definitions#and yes i post this cus i know that “overwhelmed” tends to be everyone's default word#and although there's nothing particularly wrong with that#a lot of people tend to be quickly dismissive of other possible problems under the assumption that it's just overwhelm#yes feelings are also very hard
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#project batman#batman#bruce wayne#autism#autism spectrum disorder#high functioning autism#possibly asperger's#aspergers syndrome#asperger#asperger's syndrome#asd#tea#transtorno do espectro autista#autista#autism humor#meme#autism coming out#telling people you're autistic#coming out as autistic#autismo#autistico#actually autistic#autism masking#autism meme#stereotype#autistic stereotype
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my psychiatrist was trying to explain that a lot of my depression and anxiety probably stems from my trying to force myself into a (neurotypical/allistic) mold that i wasn't made for and that it's nothing to be ashamed of and she listed elon musk and bill gates as my fellow autists and that made me cry harder
#mia.txt#i wasnt like crying bc i was diagnosed with ASD it was more just crying cause i cry all the time now and it was a cathartic session#oh i forgot to mention it but god i cant even describe the weird feeling of being told im actually autistic (UNPROMPTED)#after like. wondering for so many years but being too scared to bring it up to any psychiatrist#so i was just like well maybe i am or maybe i just have adhd. thats ok im not too worried about it :)#and then i was just like talking about my sensory issues being exacerbated by my meds#and then she started asking me more questions abt my sensory issues and social problems and then she pointed out that i#had been rocking back and forth the entire time. which i genuinely dont even notice anymore like i was like oh shit i sure am doing that#and she basically went through the whole questionnaire and was like has no one really ever brought up the possibility that you were#on the spectrum. because you definitely are#and i was like 🤷🏻♀️ idk! im not sure#but it was probably pretty damning that the one other time i had gotten tested he literally gave up bc the questions were too vague#oh but anyway like no that doesnt help actually 😔#i really don't think its shame-based like i KNOW im Different(TM) thats not shocking to me#but i do expend an insane amount of mental and emotional energy trying to be Normal and pretend i am not autistic#the masking that is causing me so much stress is the very thing that prevented me from being diagnosed earlier lmfaooo
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i honestly do not know how the ✨ fuck ✨ i’m supposed to live like this.
my mother will have to work until she dies, and she has been working since 14,
i will more than likely have to work until i die, and i have been working since 16.
my mother works mon-fri every week, and is considering picking up a part time job so she can make money on weekends too.
“saving money” is no longer an option, especially as a low income family/family with disabilities,
but no, people will always tell you that you haven’t been working hard enough, and you must just be unmotivated or plain old lazy.
but this begs the question…
how the hell am i supposed to feel “motivated” to fill a rich man’s pockets,
when everyone i know is struggling with money to some extent.
this genuinely can’t go on much longer. there has to be an end.
#actually autistic#asd#chronic pain#chronic illness#spoonie#sensory overload#actually disabled#autistic community#chronic fatigue#chronically ill#disability#disabled rant#undiagnosed chronic pain#autistic experiences#pain management#autism blog#autistic problems#possibly autistic#sensory problems#undiagnosed autistic#actuallyautistic#autism rant#disability rant#disabled community#cpunk#cripple punk#socialist
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I've made quite a few posts today (at least 10, I think). But it feels like only one of them got any attention. Most of them have 0 notes, honestly. So I guess it's time for annual Insecurity/Attention Seeking post again (because I've accepted it's a bit of both, honestly): people have seen my posts, right? I think they have, but it's sometimes nice just to get that explicit confirmation.
I copied this from an old post and I'm reposting it again (this might actually be my third or fourth time posting this now, I'm not sure). I know people do see my posts, but I apparently have an insecurity or slight desire for attention that makes me always repost these things.
#reposting because it's practically a tradition for me to this when I think I've got very few notes#neurotic#insecure#neuroticism#insecurity#It seems a lot of my comic posts#are the ones that get little attention#but that probably isn't always true#I worry I seem like a jerk#whenever I make these posts#but I honestly can't help it#they're a habit#possibly a bad habit but idk#autism#asd#neurodivergent#autistic#adhd#actually autistic#audhd
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