#poseidon x polites

[wukyma]

Wanted to do a low‐effort comparison of their heights (ft. short king Ody) to reference it when drawing stuff for my au, but it ended up like this,, also wildly OOC PosePoli under the cut!! I warned ya *runs away*

Local fish man doesn't know how to deal with cuteness agression

[bugbear55]

POSPOLI PROPOGANDA ‼️‼️

I think the fact that they have opposing moral positions is sooo interesting . Absolute crime that they never got to interact . I think about them meeting all the time . Also the god/mortal dynamic is just delicious to me .

polites should be passed around Olympus, actually, agreed

[lazy-indigo]

I stand by the idea that out of the trio, Polites would be the most willing to manwhore his way out of trouble. No wonder Jay had to kill him off so soon. There would’ve been no conflict. /silly

[pearl-pool]

THE SAGA CONTINUES Tele go whomp whomp

[jjpsc]

Odysseus: YOU'RE PREGNANT!!!!

Eurylochus: SHHH BUT DON'T SCREAM IT OUT

Polites: stop yelling and let's focus on the important thing, who is the father.

Odysseus: right, you've linked yourself to most of the Olympians, who of the ones here is the father,

Eurylochus: ah...

Ares:...

Zeus:...

Poseidon:...

Helios:...

Hermes:...

[noxoutloud]

things about epic the musical & its fandom that would’ve undoubtedly sent Homer into a coma: an ongoing saga

Zeus’ metaphors

All the jokes involving There Are Other Ways

Everything about Telemachus (especially his Disney Princess™️-esque music that we all know & love)

Ody’s abstinence

That one animatic after they kill Polyphemus’ sheep where Polites is just like 😃

The sheer number of movies/ shows/ books that people have found follow a similar plot to the Odyssey

“We’ve been away from home for… about 12 years or so”

The Jorge & Hermes clips

Similarly, the Hermes & Tiresias clips

Jorge’s OG versions where all the voices are him

The sound effects

Terminology. Specifically words like canon

The fast order-giving at the start of The Horse and the Infant

Anything depicting Poseidon being depressed after losing to Odysseus

Similarly: HOW Ody won against Poseidon in the end

Aeolus being voiced by a woman(?)

Ody not meeting Achilles/ etc in the Underworld

Most of the animatics

All the misheard lyrics, especially “Well done, you LIED TO ME, what’s your name?”

The medley at the start of Love in Paradise

OPEN ARMS

The fandom’s portrayal of Polites

Six Hundred Strike, what happens in it, & the animatics associated

Every time someone draws, says, or even THINKS about Eury imitating Circe in Pupeteer

The SHIPS especially Polites & Ody

Any AU fic ever

Absolutely everything about Hermes

Every joke about Tiresias singing “I see” when he’s blind (especially a recent TikTok that just blared LIE every time he said it 😭)

These kinds of videos: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WRRtAm1WLUQ

Specifically this post below:

@theinfamousodysseus

That one TikTok of the confusion saga

Ody’s slaying lines in Hold Them Down, but especially this:

@songb1rd

The wrong kind of “floating island”

Aphrodite’s part of God Games (the wow factor)

Ares’ part of God Games (the AAA SCARY factor)

“You’re adorable, bow down now to the immortal ✨Calypso✨…”

[zzzaru]

epic the musical actor AU anyone

Odysseus (Lead Actor): 

talented emotionally complex actor, juggling weight of being the lead while trying to be a good husband and father

he and penelope had telemachus when they were young, and his career took off shortly after, pulling away from family life

trying to reconnect with them while facing his own insecurities about being enough for them

during the scene where odysseus reunites with telemachus, the emotions hit just a wee bit too close to home, which leads to an actual breakdown

stays late a lot after rehearsals, reworking scenes, trying to be a perfectionist

Penelope (Actress)

fiercely intelligent actress, odysseus’ real life wife

balances being a mother to telemachus, acting career, and the occasional media frenzy over their relationship

while she loves odysseus a lot, struggles w the resentment of his absences

tears up during penelope’s monologue about loneliness (hits too close to home 👎)

shares quiet, intimate moments with odysseus between takes (the directors are TIREDD)

Telemachus (Actor)

a young actor breaking into the industry, cast in the musical just bcuz of his parents’ influence

determined to prove he earned his place on his own

doesn’t love being in his father’s shadow, but he looks up greatly to him

love-hate relationship with his dad

emotionally charged performance during telemachus’ ‘confrontation’ with odysseus

is more lighthearted with the rest of the cast, poking fun at odysseus’ dramatic tendencies

Eurylochus (Actor)

one of odysseus’ oldest friends, cast as his loyal (combative) right hand man.

serves as the group’s voice of reason, but his blunt honesty sometimes causes tension

uses dry humor to diffuse tension between odysseus and telemachus but privately encourages odysseus to make amends

finds himself unexpectedly emotional during luck runs out and mutiny

Polites

comedic glue holding the cast together

actually everybody’s favorite castmate

feels overlooked compared to the larger personalities around him

offers emotional support to telemachus after a tenser rehearsal

can keep his eyes open for a concerning amount of time. very good at playing dead?? actually scared his friends during the cyclops scene

Zeus (Actor)

charismatic, laid back veteran actor

mentor/dad figure

LOVES cracking dad jokes, bringing snacks to rehearsals much to athena’s embarrassment

ATHENA’S DAD STILL

incredibly approachable 

competes with poseidon during press tours

Athena (Actor)

fiercely independent (still zeus’ daughter)

trying to prove herself as a director in her own right

perfectionist

cares for the cast and crew, hates showing it

sometimes teases zeus for being overbearing

lighthearted banter with zeus on set

quiet moments where she talks to hera about living up to her father’s reputation

Poseidon

zeus’ brother and self proclaimed ‘cool uncle’ of the cast

charming, mischievous

lightens the mood during long rehearsals

him and zeus = playful rivalry

leads karaoke nights occasionally

bonds with eurylochus over their mutual love of seafood and practical jokes

Hera

graceful and respected actress

unofficial ‘mom’

ready with words of wisdom

helps penelope and telemachus work through their nerves before emotional scenes

scolds zeus and poseidon for goofing off sometimes

Aphrodite

rising star in the acting world

social media sensation

glamorous and confident, but genuinely kind to everyone

posts behind the scenes and blooper reels

teaches telemachus how to handle social media fame

organizes a cast photoshoot to help everyone look their best for promotional materials

Apollo

multi-talented ‘golden boy’ of the cast

known for singing, acting, guitar solos during breaks

effortlessly charming

somewhat competitive (friendly) with ares

challenges polites to a ‘sing off’ during a wrap party, turns into a cast wide jam session

writes an original song for the cast

Ares

high energy

loves keeping everyone entertained

fiercely loyal to his crew. also dating aphrodite

playful rivalry with apollo

surprisingly good with kids

starts a nerf war on set during downtime, with the entire cast getting involved

improvised ‘is she dead’ in god games, everyone couldnt help but laugh

Antinous

charismatic, mischievous, well liked

known for polished performances

naturally confident

relationship with telemachus started through rehearsals bonding over shared family pressure

admires telemachus’ raw talent

fiercely protective of telemachus

on stage chemistry. directors hate them

Hermes

quick witted, flamboyant

hard worker (in his own. way)

flirty. flirts with half of the crew. especially odysseus and polites

never takes things too seriously

sees himself as the ‘glue’ of the cast (he is not, it's polites)

little scenarios i've been cooking up

during god games, where athena and zeus fight physically, i'm thinking one of the props go askew. athena and zeus are fighting in scene, and then one of the props from above suddenly fall, hitting athena in the head, causing panic from the rest of the crew- she's fine of course, she wasnt hit too hard, but panic ensues for everyone, esp zeus and hermes, since athena is family. (athena is zeus' daughter, hermes is athena's brother). and of course the rest of the crew like odysseus, ares, etc)

zeus’ relationship with ares in th is AU is very much like jay’s and mitchell’s from modern family

scene with the cyclops, where the 'cyclops' is supposed to kill polites, when polites is lying there on the ground with fake blood on him he makes it seem a little too real. he gets 'crushed' by the cyclops, and then he rasps out "captain" to odysseus, desperately (acting) like there is dark fake blood dripping from his head, his fake glasses are broken and then his character dies. polites can keep his eyes open for an unnaturally amount of time, and he can make them seem lifeless so after the scene is done, odysseus and eurylochus both go to hug him just to make sure he's there and fine. they cling to him for a bit. polites is very confused, but the hugs are welcome!!

[cookie-0wo]

From that meme. yeah.

[blessedbyahuntress]

Blessed by a Trickster

Chapter Nine: I Never Thought my Last Words Would be That Stupid

Prev/Next

A/N: Guys this chapter is so short 😭

Warnings: I changed so many of the lyrics of this song to fit the storyline better

Word Count: 750

Listen to: Ruthlessness

“Poseidon,” Odysseus breathed.

The man standing on the rocky shore of the island raised his trident, grey hair billowing in the leftover wind that was released from the bag.

“In all my years of living, it isn’t very often that I get pissed off.” Even from the ship you could still hear the voice of the imposing god. “I try to chill with the waves, but damn you crossed the line.”

You watched, frozen as Poseidon floated through the water toward your ship. “I’ve been so gracious, and yet you hurt the son of mine.” He smiled at your fearful expression. “That’s right. The cyclops you made die, was mine.”

“No,” you and Odysseus said in unison, both your voices laced with disbelief.

It was like that single word summoned the god, because he appeared right in front of you. You scrambled back as Poseidon continued in his booming voice, “I’m left without a choice, and without a doubt. Guess the pack of wolves is swimming with the shark now.” He swept his trident to the right, and several figures rose above the ship- six wolves made out of water, trying to swim while a shark circled the pack.

“I gotta make you bleed, I need to see you drown.” The god’s words cut through the visual, and you raised your forearm to block the water droplets that rained down. “But before you go, I need to make you learn how ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves.”

You took another step back, and then there were two, quite solid things- going shoulder to shoulder with you.

You looked around wildly and breathed a sigh of relief when you realized it was Polites and Eurylochus, both pointing their swords at the god that stood before you. 

Poseidon only sneered at the sight of the blades. He turned his attention to Odysseus, who was now unprotected.

“You are the worst kind of good, ‘cause you’re not even great,” Poseidon said, circling the captain. “A Greek who reeks of false righteousness- that’s what I hate! ‘Cause you fight to save lives, but never get the job done.” He raised a hand and curled it into a fist. “I mean you totally could’ve avoided all this, had you not killed my son. But no.”

Polites could see you shaking and turned you toward him gently. “Open arms,” he told you softly.

“No,” you replied in the same low voice as him. “That won’t work here.”

Your attention was jolted back to Poseidon as the god said, “Now it is finally time to say goodbye. Today, you die. Unless, of course, you apologize for my son's pain and all his cries.”

“Poseidon, we meant no harm,” you tried. “We only killed him to disarm him.”

Odysseus, nodding, added, “we took no pleasure in his pain. We only wanted to escape.”

Poseidon stopped and narrowed his eyes at the both of you. “The line between naivety and hopefulness is almost invisible. So close your heart the world is dark.”

The god raised his trident. “Die!” He screamed, bringing the butt of the trident down on the floor of the ship.

Almost instantly, geysers of water shot up and around the other ships of the fleet. You stumbled to the railing, knees weak from the thought of the deaths you might have caused. You could hear panicked screeching coming from the helms of the ships. “Captain! Captain! Captain! Captain!”

Poseidon waved his hand and all went quiet.

“What have you done?” Odysseus whispered, looking out at the destruction. The only thing left of the rest of the fleet were a few sinking sails and floating floorboards. 

“Forty three left under your command.” You could practically see the proud smirk on Poseidon’s face without turning around.

You felt a hand on your shoulder, and you glanced behind you, shocked; the hand belonged to Poseidon. “I am your darkest moment,” the god murmured. “The monster that always draws near.”

He raised his voice and took his hand off of your shoulder. “Any last words?” He asked grudgingly.

You had been eyeing the bag for a while, and now you lunged forward. “All I gotta do is open this bag!” You said triumphantly, untying the rope and flinging it open.

“What?” Poseidon thundered, but you were already speeding off on the newly summoned winds, leaving the god and his island behind.

You slumped back, closing your eyes and releasing a sigh of relief.

You wondered if you imagined the, “remember me…”

[wukyma]

Thanks to @pink-noah for fueling my obsession a bit 😔✨

I guess Poseidon doesn't like ghost-themed jokes, wonder why

[caramellcandy]

drawings from the ship whiteboard someone shared on the discord

[lazy-indigo]

I’ve had this silly scenario in my head ever since discovering Polites x Poseidon was a thing. I honestly have veryyyy conflicted feelings abt them but ultimately I think it’s a pretty interesting ship to mess with -w- May,,, or may not, have sum sketches of their deal. But that’s for only me and the ocean to know…(or for anyone who asks n has my discord lol)

[calypso-apologist]

welcome to the best part of your life ♡

or rather, my little hyperfixation hole. i've wanted to make a blog since wisdom saga, but there was always something in the way. but now that the ithaca saga is out (still fangirling about it ngl), i decided to finally do it!!

for those of you who don't know me, hi! i'm nosferatu (also known as mary or @nosferatu-inside-of-me) and i like to write fanfics. more specifically, character x reader fanfics. i am also a helpol pagan and a huge mythology nerd, so epic obviously pulled me in. and what does that mean? i need to write.

and here's a small list of who i will write for:

gods:

Zeus

Poseidon

Hermes (with inclusions of the silly little Hermes tiktoks)

Apollo

Hephaestus

Ares

Aeolus (remembering that the musical still calls Aeolus a he!!)

goddesses/nymphs:

Athena (platonic only)

Aphrodite

Hera (platonic only)

Circe

Calypso

mortals:

Odysseus

Polites

Telemachus

Antinous

Penelope

if you're convincing enough, you can probably get me to add other characters in, too. i will most likely be including some personal headcanons inspired by the myths. modern au is cool with me, too.

i can write both sfw and nsfw stuff. i'm especially fond of yandere content. i make character.ai bots sometimes, so those can happen, too. if you ask nicely.

obvious dni:

terfs

zionists

pedo/zoophiles

homophobes, transphobes, fatphobes, anyone like that

myth literalists

i don't care about minors, i'm not your parent, you can interact with the content, just don't try to get personal with me.

ps: i don't have a masterlist. i don't plan to make one. it's a genuine struggle for me.

[jjpsc]

Poseidon after singing like you mean it

Odysseus rolling his eyes

Eurylochus airing himself with a slightly blushing hand

Polites: wow that was... impressive *approaching Poseidon and then wrapping his arms around his neck* come on?

Poseidon: Let's go?

Polites: yeah you know, to a more private place and let's do that~.

Odysseus and Eurylochus: Polites!

Polites: What?!

Odysseus: don't just jump on him like that! Control yourself please

Polites: sorry, I was just saying

Eurylochus: yes, turn it down a little bit.

Polites: Why? Jealous?

Eurylochus: Jealous? Jealous me? Ha! Please, I don't need to be

Polites: Are you sure? It seems to me that yes

Eurylochus: for your information I have several gods that want with me, I don't need to be jealous that you have one of them *Eurylochus raised his hand with the palm up to see who arrived faster and several made the action of moving but the first one to arrive was Hermes resting his chin on it*.

Polites: Yeah, yeah haha just kidding

Odysseus: ugh. Why am I here? I don't need to see how my two best friends flirt with the gods.

[messymoonmad]

I need to see poseidon adopt polites as his son

He be like "hm ur my child now" and just carry polites away

This but with Eurylochus and Perimedes

[somepsychopomp]

A Fair Contest (Ch. 2)

Summary-

A golden apple was tossed into a gathering of gods. Upon it, the inscription read: 

To the most amorous king.

And two hands reached for it at once. 

Unless the world was to be torn asunder by the warring sky and sea, Zeus and Poseidon would have to settle their dispute by having a mortal choose who was, beyond any doubt, the superior lover. 

And they set their eyes upon Odysseus of Ithaca.

+++

A few notes: this is a continuation of chapter 1 of my AU (which you can read here)

Also, this isn't the complete second chapter, just a taste of what's to come. That being said, this is a rough draft so anything could be subject to change.

Word Count: approx. 3k

As a final note, if you really like this fic, let me know! The support I got for Part 1 was great and really encouraging :)

+++

Since Odysseus was the most eager of anyone to see the palace complete, he was also one of the hardest workers. He rose at dawn and refused to rest even as the sun set on most days, using torches and lamps to give him light as he carved out furniture or laid out the stone tiles. He wanted as much of his new house to be built by his own hand as possible, to show Penelope just how much he adored her. 

Sadly, this meant he was sometimes met with resistance from those closest to him. 

“No, no,” Eurylochus said, blocking the entrance to the soon-to-be kitchens with his large frame, a smile on his face, “You’re not going anywhere near the construction today!”

Odysseus scoffed at his old friend, “Oh, is that so? And who are you to defy me?”

He tried to squeeze past, only to be met by Polites with his hands covered in the dust that came off the marble tiles. 

“We’ll see to it that everything stays on schedule!” Polites said. He was no match for Odysseus, but together, his two closest friends kept him from laying the stonework himself. 

“You need your rest.” Polites said, “You’d let any other man take a break, why not yourself?”

“Because I’m the king!” 

Eurylochus’ strong arms wrapped around his waist and physically turned Odysseus around. 

“Let go of me!” Odysseus said, feigning outrage even as he could feel Eurylochus laughing at him. 

“Go, my king. Take a walk, go back to sleep. Do whatever you want. But you’re not coming back to work until you’ve had a well-earned rest!”

To think, the king of Ithaca was usurped by his closest friends! 

Of course, they wouldn’t let him slink off to some other part of the palace to assist with the construction. While Eurylochus assumedly instructed the men, Polites was on Odysseus’ heels like a dog, poking and prodding at him every time he stopped to consider picking up a hammer or bucket. 

“Alright!” Odysseus said at last, no longer even attempting to appear irritated. He threw his hands into the air in defeat. “It’s a nice day out, I think I’ll go for a swim.”

“Excellent choice!” Poltes said, a warm smile upon his face as if he didn’t just spend the last ten minutes physically harassing his dearest friend and king. Odysseus shot him a knowing look before heading off. 

Ithaca was far from the largest island in the sea, or the most illustrious, and most of its shores consisted of rocky ground unsuitable for leisure. But he did know of a few beaches sporting white sand. There was even a little strip of soft sand not far from the palace. Odysseus intended for a stone pathway to be laid down, but he had no difficulty picking his way through the tall grass from the palace’s resting place to the sea below it. 

He expected to see a few others enjoying the early summer weather, perhaps some children playing in the surf, but found no one else. It was honestly a relief as Odysseus left his sandals behind and savored the way the warm sand felt under his feet. On the way down, he had half a mind to wait a little while before sneaking back into the palace, but it was so lovely out that Odysseus was tempted to really take a break. 

There wasn’t a cloud in the sky and yet the sun wasn’t unbearably hot. The sand under his feet didn’t burn and the waves weren’t the usual rough, tempestuous kind that battered Ithaca’s shores. These lapped softly at the shore, almost in tune with the songbirds as Odysseus decided to go for a stroll. The sea was truly splendid today, glittering as if it were made of sapphires and capped with silver foam. 

Odysseus followed the beach, a little puzzled as a steep hill rose to his left, creating a bend in the path. He didn’t remember the beach here being curved, he thought it went on in a straight line. Nevertheless, it had been a while since his last visit the previous year. He was searching for the perfect location for his new palace before the construction began and thought a tidy strip of beach would be a nice addition to the grounds. 

He followed the beach, stunned to come around the bend and find a beautiful cove on the other side. High cliffs concealed it from the rest of the island, with moss and draping ivy growing out of the stone. The cliffs formed a semi-circle and the sand followed suit, creating a crescent that the water fed into. A few rocky outcroppings formed miniature islands out in the water, which glimmered like turquoise in the sunlight. 

How could he have missed this?

He was certain he walked the length of the beach and never once found anything as remarkable as this. The cove wasn’t very large, certainly no more than a few hundred feet wide, but its size added to its charm. It felt so serene here, so private. Odysseus could easily imagine guiding Penelope here for a picnic in the summer. He even went as far as imagining a few little ones jumping into the water. 

Smiling to himself, Odysseus shed his clothes and dipped his feet into the water before wading farther out. Soon, he was swimming in the bright, cool waters of the little cove, ducking his head beneath the surf to avoid the incoming waves. 

Once he was past the flurry of white-tipped waves that fell upon the shore, he could see one of the little islands directly in front of him. Odysseus wondered if he could make it there in just one breath, so he sucked in as much air as possible before diving once more. 

Most people, especially those from the mainland, didn’t know how to swim. They thought, should someone fall into the ocean, that it was better to drown swiftly than to prolong the process by trying to stay afloat. Odysseus knew better. His father taught him to swim and Odysseus had been knocked off more than one boat over the course of his life. Mostly they were all accidents incurred while sailing between the stone pillars around Ithaca’s coast as a test of courage. 

When he surfaced again, he could touch the wet stone. Odysseus even would’ve climbed on top just for the pleasure of jumping into the crystalline waters. 

But he could only gawk with a sharp, painful sense of dread at the man seated upon the stone. A man that Odysseus feared was no mortal at all. 

The stranger’s dense mane of pure white hair flowed lightly in the breeze, though his was not the face of an old man. No, whoever this was, he was beautiful beyond words. He wore no clothing whatsoever, proud to reveal his vast expanse of tan skin that seemed to glow in the sunlight. Much like his hair, his beard was full and well-kept despite its shocking lack of color. 

His broad chest, twice as wide as Odysseus’ own, spoke of his strength, as did his equally impressive arms and thighs. Though interestingly enough, while he had a warrior’s build, he bore not even a single scar. And he did not sit facing Odysseus, but rather with his body at an angle that made the curve of his chest and biceps all the more enticing. 

But his eyes. They sparkled like the purest of gold and put the stars to shame with their brilliance. 

The man with all his entrancing features smiled at Odysseus as he held out a hand. 

“Why, isn’t it a lovely day? Come, little king. Sit with me and enjoy the splendid sight of such a flawless sky.”

Odysseus pulled away from the man, wading in the water with half a mind to swim as hard as he could for land. 

“Who…” he began, fighting to calm his nerves, “Who might you be, if I may ask?”

Odysseus already had his suspicions. Their fulsome, wavy tresses, broad shoulders, and the square cut of their jaws were the exact same. 

Athena’s father continued to smile upon him, chuckling softly. 

“How could I possibly introduce myself like this? Come, and partake in some company.”

Odysseus suddenly found it very hard to catch his breath. He wasn’t sure if it was his growing unease or something else, but he feared the water might pull him under at any moment. 

As he bobbed in the surf, Odysseus startled at the sensation of something solid forming under his feet. He looked down, but could see no sand bar or stone beneath him, just the ocean. 

“Why leave the water so soon?” a new voice asked. Odysseus stiffed and suppressed his instinct to lash out as an arm wrapped itself around his chest. The voice spoke into his ear, “The ocean is perfect today, isn’t it?”

The arm coaxed him closer until his back was flush against a warm chest. While Zeus’ voice was deep with the rolling resonance that came with thunder, this new voice was a little rougher and reminded Odysseus of the high tide crashing upon a rocky shore. 

Odysseus risked a glance at the newcomer, any potential words to save himself dying in his throat. 

Never in his life had he ever seen eyes so deeply, beautifully blue before. The azure gaze leveled upon him couldn’t have been compared to sapphires, lapis, or turquoise. And these eyes, too, seemed to glow. Only the most splendid ocean waters, sun-warmed and shallow and dancing between shades of blue and green, could possibly compare. 

Unlike Zeus, this stranger bore a slightly fairer complexion and black hair that shined like obsidian. His hair didn’t billow the way Zeus’ did; rather, it flowed through the air as if it weighed nothing, shifting from black to a cerulean blue at the ends so gradually that it was impossible to say where the color even began to change. 

He was as handsome as Zeus, though different. His frame was thinner; still very much an athlete’s build, but more akin to an agile swimmer than the sheer bulk that Zeus possessed. 

“Brother,” Zeus said, his voice losing that welcoming tone to become colder, harder. 

Odysseus swallowed, his throat going dry as he realized he was being cradled like a lover by the god of the seas. 

Poseidon shot Zeus an unimpressed look. “What? Am I doing something wrong?”

Thunder clapped across the skies despite the distinct lack of clouds. Odysseus shivered, his father having drilled it into his head as a child that he should never try to swim during a thunderstorm. 

Zeus sneered, seeming to drop all pretenses as he rose to his feet. Odysseus couldn’t help the way his eyes traced the thick line of pure white hair that decorated the god’s abdomen, trailing down to…

Odysseus forced himself to shut his eyes, making every effort to avoid any feeling even remotely like lust. 

He wondered to himself, Why? Why me? 

What could he have possibly done to deserve a fate like this? To perish before he could even be wed?

What would Penelope think of him?

An impossibly large hand caressed his cheek. Odysseus’ eyes flew open. 

The King of the Gods laid upon a bed of wispy clouds in front of him, seeming to float on a bed of fog on the water’s surface. He propped himself on his other elbow, showing off the curve and vast expanse of his chest. Zeus was so large that even flat on his stomach, he had to look down to meet Odysseus’ eye. 

“So, little king, if you had to pick between the sea and sky, which would you say could more easily capture your admiration?”

“Oh, please!” Poseidon said, his own pretenses dropped as irritation colored his voice, “What could your sky do that’s more splendid than this?”

Something rose from the water right next to him, glowing like the eyes of a god, some tendril with the deep blue shade of the open ocean. It was a cold and stark contrast to the shallows they were in. Odysseus couldn’t understand what it was until it took shape, forming a hand terminating in clawed digits. 

Poseidon’s other arm, he thought. It was made of the very water that composed his domain. 

Poseidon flicked his wrist and a massive wave swelled, threatening to crash right into them. Odysseus felt his body tense, taking a deep breath on instinct. 

Before his very eyes, Poseidon willed the wave to flow over their heads and encase them in a bubble of air. Odysseus gasped. 

Right over his head, close enough to touch, the dome of water doused him in blue light. The closest thing Odysseus had ever seen to something so lovely was the warm, dappled sunlight filtering through the forest canopy. The way the water pulsed and rippled, he thought he could have easily spent all day just watching it flow. 

Zeus muttered something softly. Before Odysseus could wonder if it was meant to be a remark addressed to him, a dark shape appeared over their bubble. At first, Odysseus thought it was a large seabird. 

A circle opened up in the dome and a face appeared, youthful and hale, wearing a winged helm. 

“My, my! I don’t know if anyone’s ever beaten me to my destination before.”

“I was wondering what was taking you so long,” Zeus said, sitting up. 

Odysseus heard a grumbling sound come from Poseidon as the dome collapsed into seafoam and was carried away on the wind. Without it, he got a better look at the newcomer. 

He wore a short chiton embroidered with green and gold and carried a satchel at his side, resembling a young man Odysseus’ age or even younger. It would’ve been entirely possible to mistake him for human, seeing as he wasn’t reaching the towering size of his father or uncle, but his winged sandals warned of a far greater power hidden behind his mischievous smile. 

Odysseus wished he could sink into the water. He wished he never left his palace. 

Hermes turned his sparkling gaze upon him and knelt right on the surface of the water to tap Odysseus’ nose with his finger. He asked, “Forgive me! You are Odysseus of Ithaca, yes?”

Hearing his name sent a small jolt down his spine. Odysseus cleared his throat, “I am. But-”

He wanted to know what was going on, why three Olympians were suddenly assailing him, even posing as if to seduce him. 

“Perfect!” Hermes said, “I have a delivery for you. A gift, of sorts.”

He rummaged through his satchel while Zeus crossed his arms in an impatient gesture. He glanced at Poseidon, still behind Odysseus, and pointed his finger. Almost faster than Odysseus’ eyes could see, a bolt of white lightning as thin as a thread raced through the air. 

He felt no pain himself, but heard Poseidon hiss softly as he pulled his arm away, freeing Odysseus from his hold. 

“Ah!” Hermes said, either oblivious to the palpable tension in the air or just uncaring, “Here we are. And what an honor, to be the messenger to bestow a gold apple upon the king of Ithaca!” 

Pardon me? Odysseus wanted to ask. 

But Hermes produced what was unmistakably an apple from his bag. It must’ve been made from melted gold and polished by divine hands, for it was so perfectly shaped with no blemish from the smelting process in sight. It even came with a golden stem and a delicate golden leaf still attached. It shined so brightly in the light, Odysseus could even see his reflection in the curved surface. 

There was also a short ribbon tied to the stem. Hermes offered it in both hands, smiling without a care as he waited for Odysseus to take it. 

“A golden apple?” Odysseus asked, thinking fast, “Why, I couldn’t possibly accept a gift like this! Especially after having done no feat worthy of so much… attention.”

He looked away, doing his best to appear as bashful as possible. Whatever the gods were trying to do, whatever game they were playing, he wanted no part in it. He hoped his show of humility would hearten the gods and gain their favor, allowing him to escape the two deities that were well known for their appetites. 

A hand grabbed his face. Hermes continued to smile like an old friend as he forced Odysseus to make eye contact. Against his will, Odysseus’ hands lifted to accept the apple, which felt warm in his hands. 

“Not to worry, dear child,” Hermes said, “The apple isn’t quite for you, exactly. Instead, you’ll be its keeper for the time being.”

Hermes winked as his wings fluttered. He added, “Read the inscription. And, of course, good luck!” 

And then he was off, flying on the winds so quickly that he was beyond the horizon in seconds. 

Odysseus had the fleeting thought that Hermes was either so busy that he could not linger, or that he didn’t want to linger.