#points at Dick 'Eldest Daughter Syndrome' Grayson

[lotus-lost-n-found]

Some Batfam Headcanons because the brain never stops;

Jason hates being called "Bruce's Son". But he hates it more when hes called "One of Wayne's Orphans/Wayne's child" because fuck you I'm his son-! wait no--

With the exception of Damian, they rarely refer to Bruce as "Dad/Father". Either it didn't occur to them/didn't see the need to/thought it would be strange. But when Dick/Jason/Tim/Cass are tired or injured it might slip out. And Bruce might just crumble a bit at it

Doesn't mean they don't say it to their siblings when Bruce is out of Earshot.

"Dad said you couldn't." "What do you mean Dad said I couldn't use that mug? It's my mug!" "You snooze you lose Timmy Boy-" "Jason don't be an asshole-"

That being said Bruce says "son/daughter/child" at every available opportunity he can after he knows that they have acclimated enough that they wouldn't be uncomfortable/know they can tell Bruce that they don't want to be called that.

First time Bruce called Dick "son" in a way that meant "You are my kid" and not in a "This police officer just called me son with a brow furrow" way Dick grinned and carried on with the conversation. Later he wondered if his dad wouldn't like someone else calling him Son; but Dick thinks about the life he was given because of Bruce and thinks maybe his dad wouldn't mind.

Calling Jason "son" is a hit or miss situation, even before he died. The first time it happened he was confused, he didnt think that was the relationship they had and it made everything change for him. He got frustrated--not angry--with himself and Bruce at this sudden emotional turmoil. Wasn't he just the kid Bruce picked up in an alleyway? Wasn't he just some street rat in bright Robin clothing? (He lets himself believe that he can be Bruce's son. If for only a little while).

Tim cries after Bruce is out of earshot, it would've been a year or so after his parents died and he was adopted. He didn't think he could have been wanted like that again. Even if you think the Drake's had A+ Parenting or not, I don't think he would have gotten a lot of confirmation of being wanted otherwise.

Cass smiles, emotions carefully concealed under her expression. She's grateful she found Bruce and he doesn't mention it if she leans a bit closer in a request for closeness.

Damian doesn't expect anything less, he only appears satisfied. But also relieved that he has gotten the confirmation that yes, Bruce wants and accepts him.

EDIT 10/11; hiii, i have added Duke, Steph & a Bonus in a reblog you can find on the same blog under my 'batfamily headcanons' / 'sore rambles' tag. have fun :)

[undertheredhood]

bruce after gotham war: why don't my children talk to me?

dick who is so done with him: it's the way you act! it's the way you act!

[thatstheproblemwithnapkinman]

when you're 5000 words into a once-shot and the urge to accurately describe an earthquake rescue attempt takes over and it's the most in-detail part of your fic

and it's all about dick dealing with his insecurities and fears about his responsibility just after he's been a little dork

[arguablysomaya]

Nightwing's weird fem-coding

! LONG POST !

Finally got around to jotting down my thoughts on the weird way that Dick Grayson (Nightwing) often occupies female-coded roles without being a particularly feminine guy. This is entirely due to me procrastinating on my finals. Okay!

Dick has often been cited as the hero who plays into the "female gaze", and he takes up some key roles that are typically reserved for women characters.

A large portion of Dick's fem-coding is contingent on his being with his family, and when he's not with them, this fem-coding kinda drops away, such as when he's with his various teams or acting solo.

His most prominent (and imo, complex) femme-coded role is:

-> Eldest Daughter + Widow

Eldest daughter syndrome means " frequently feeling like you’re not doing enough, like you’re struggling to maintain a veneer of control, like the entire household relies on your diligence." It's born out of the unique way that first-born girls are expected to take on adult roles around the household before they've had an opportunity to fully experience childhood (an opportunity their younger siblings will have, in part due to this sacrifice). It creates a strong sense of independence and a desire to be a good role model, but also leads to undue pressure and perfectionism.

Dick acts as a central emotional pillar for those in his family. To the point that when he fakes his death, it breaks something fundamental in the family dynamic:

Not only is it repeatedly made clear that Bruce depends on Dick to act as a lifeline for his own mental struggles, but moreover, his siblings do as well. In a very literal sense, the maintenance of the batfamily rests on Dick's shoulders. Bruce is so rarely available for emotional support that these children turn to the next best thing, which, to be fair, is better than what Dick had growing up. He has to clean up so many breakdowns, it's honestly pretty staggering.

As the OG sidekick, Dick receives quite a bit of hero worship, particularly from younger heroes/sidekicks, who look toward him for guidance. As a naturally upbeat and welcoming person, Dick ends up in the position of bringing light to everyone, not just Bruce. For example, here's Cassandra:

This balancing effect is unique to Dick's skill set. However, this can (and does) backfire very easily. The same pragmatism Bruce engages in hurts extra bad when coming from Dick: like when Dick had to take Robin away from Tim. Not to mention just how intimidating Dick's legacy is, which can create resentment when his successors aren't able to play this role so easily. For example, Jason both before and after his death expressed insecurity that he felt he was constantly being compared to Dick, and falling short.

As the original character that people think of when they think "sidekick", DG Robin (and his successors) had the advantage of not losing prominence even as his contemporaries (Kid Flash, Aqualad, Wonder Girl, etc.) were de-prioritized in favor of independent teenaged heroes (like Cyborg, Beast Boy, Raven, and Starfire). But that means Robin as a concept now has to deal with questions that weren't so prominent in the earlier decades, such as: "How do we justify a grown-ass man using a child (and in fact, children) as emotional crutches?"

It's icky to think about, but there's no denying that early Batman and Robin got side eyes for homosexual subtext. I mean, they literally call each other "partners". So while that "subtext" was, and remains, just audience speculation, given Dick is literally Bruce's adopted son, there is room, I believe, to call into question how healthy it is for Bruce's oldest kid to be taking on a nearly-parental role and be a core pillar of Bruce's emotional regulation.

Hot take here, but I think Dick's relationship with Bruce was/has been pretty emotionally incestuous for a long time.

-> Emotional incest

"Emotional incest[...] is a type of emotional abuse performed by a parent. In cases of emotional incest, parents rely on their children for significant emotional support, which is a reversal of roles. Emotional incest is more than just relying on your kids on occasion—rather, it is an extreme dependence on them." (There's a pretty good argument to be made that Bruce has been emotionally incestuous with all his Robins, especially Dick and DEFINITELY Tim, but y'know. Small steps.)

Emotional incest is a semi-common consequence of eldest daughter syndrome; the natural conclusion of deputizing a child to manage the other children combining with an inability to see the child as a child, still in need of emotional guidance, but more like an adult capable of shouldering the burdens of grown-ups dumping their traumas on them.

To be clear here, while emotional incest may not be incest in the most traditional, taboo sense, it is still abuse. It's putting a burden on a child they shouldn't have to carry, even for children that aren't dealing with such extreme burdens as "grown-ass man running around in a fursuit needs me to keep him from getting himself killed". It's a perversion of a healthy parent-child relationship, where the child is treated more like a partner than a child. In Dick's case, it further exacerbates the parentification he already experiences. This is made more explicit when Bruce "dies" and Dick is cast into a sort of "Widow" role.

Dick reluctantly dons the cowl in an attempt to bring order to his family members. He's also left to parent Damian, alone. He has to make the decision to take Robin from Tim, and try to deal with the fallout from that decision. He has to put a stop to Jason's fratricidal rampage. He's made into the de-facto head of the family.

And the thing about this is: Dick's not even bad at it. In comparison to Bruce's litany of disasters-in-parenting, Dick does a pretty bang-up job of managing his siblings, heading the Justice League, and being Batman. But the crucial point is that he does this at the expense of his own mental health, which is the crux of eldest daughter syndrome. There's no denying that at the time, Dick was most certainly the best choice for New Father Figure, but it was a choice he was pushed into, and a sacrifice he had to make. When this sense of responsibility to the point of self-sacrifice is pushed to its logical conclusion, it has the effect of making Dick a Martyr-type figure.

-> Protector/Mama Bear/Avenger

Dick has shown repeatedly that his hot button is his family. From Tony Zucco to allowing Blockbuster to be killed after the villain targeted Haley's Circus, going after Nightwing's family is a pretty good way to earn yourself an asskicking. Probably the most infamous example of this is when Dick thought the Joker had killed Tim, beating the clown to death to avenge both Tim and Jason.

And while this role isn't particularly feminine, I do think it's interesting that Dick protects his family members from each other with almost the same frequency that he protects them from outside threats. He's pretty notorious for wrangling Damian and Tim, foiling Jason's murder plans, and most importantly, beating the shit out of Bruce whenever he crosses a line, such as when Bruce asks Dick to conceal being alive from their family to join Spyral or when Bruce wanted to abandon the Bruce Wayne persona after the murder of Vesper Fairchild. Or of course, more recently after Bruce's latest MK-ULTRA shenanigans.

This basically puts Dick in the position of being the glue that holds the family together, at basically all times, but especially in times of conflict. This also means he's put in the dangerous position of bodily defending his younger siblings from Bruce's wrath or irresponsibility, a position made even more awkward given the whole emotional incest thing.

That's not to say that Dick's relationship with his family is 100% unhealthy. Dick and his family members (including Bruce!) feel legitimate affection and care for each other. There are times when the dynamics here are indeed healthy. And like most people with eldest daughter syndrome, the unhealthy nature of this dynamic is usually understated. Oldest sibling syndrome is often just an unavoidable consequence of how parenting works. So while I am of the opinion that this dynamic is often unhealthy, hot take: I'm fine with that.

Now, though I've just listed some tropes that he only falls into around family, Dick also falls into some fem-coding all the time, regardless of who he's with, and these have to do mostly with his sexuality.

-> Sexual Assault & Harassment

Yeah, so nobody is surprised that this is a factor. Look up any list of the top ten hottest/sexiest/most attractive male superheroes, I guarantee 9/10 times Nightwing is number 1. However, unlike his father, whose attractiveness is usually played as a part of the male wish-fulfillment fantasy, something people aspire to be, Dick's attractiveness more often makes him an object of desire- very similar to how most attractive female characters are perceived.

And as an object of desire, Dick Grayson is constantly having to deal with being objectified.

Now, Dick Grayson being an attractive character is not the problem. Dick Grayson being sexually assaulted isn't even the problem. the problem is that he keeps being harassed, assaulted, and raped in ways that are flagrantly nonconsensual, and yet it's not treated with the seriousness it deserves. In fact, it took a full decade for Devin Grayson to retract her previous statement and admit that yes, the rooftop scene with Catalina Flores was in fact rape, and it's never been acknowledged in-universe (though, comics have always been atrocious at calling out sexual abuse of all kinds, let alone that which targets men).

Hell, even when he in-universe calls it out, he's dismissed immediately and the story continues like nothing happened.

Like???

Dick's adult sexcapades (which were consensual and enthusiastic) have long contrasted with the numerous times he's been harassed; times in which he comes across as bored, exasperated, and even frustrated with his own attractiveness and the vulnerable position it often leaves him in.

This puts him in the rare (in comics) position of being a male character who consistently and near-exclusively has his sexual agency and boundaries violated by women - a position that authors uniformly refuse to examine despite writing him into it all the fucking time.

Other characters around him frequently make comments passing off this harassment and assault as a natural consequence of Dick's own attractiveness, making "jokes" that essentially amount to "I understand why someone would want to assault him". Which- UH?

There is also, of course, the unavoidable reality that as an acrobat and an aerialist, he receives a very specific type of sexual harassment

the nature of nightwing's fight style necessitates a type of tight-fitting suit that male heroes typically don't go for: an extremely slick suit with bare-minimum armour that again, makes him vulnerable in a way most male heroes aren't, but a style female heroes wear all the time, whether it makes sense for them or not. This of course then allows artists to draw attention to this fact by posing Nightwing in poses usually reserved for femme fatales:

And unlike the Hawkeye Initiative, these poses are (largely) unironic, and not played for jokes. Dick isn't arching his back or looking over his shoulder to poke fun at how female heroes are treated; he does so because the artist (clearly correctly) sincerely believed these poses would play into the unironic gaze of the audience, and also probably thought it was hot. It's the same line of thought artists use when posing femme fatales.

He's even been known to use his sexuality as a bargaining chip, much like more traditional Femme Fatales. In Batman and Harley Quinn (2017), he refers to sleeping with Harley Quinn after being kidnapped by her as one of "the things I do for Gotham", to which she responds "I'm taking that as a 'yes'." And that's uh- not how consent works.

And this particularly sucks because- HELLO? The opportunity to explore the very real and tragically underacknowledged phenomenon of sexual violence against men is literally invaluable, especially with such a prominent character. It's one thing to ignore that men face sexual violence, it's another, entirely more unforgivable thing to continuously and explicitly depict such scenarios and play them off as jokes or not as serious as they clearly are. But what did I expect from an industry that has never had a good track record on sexual violence anyway.

-> Queercoding?

There's also of course the fact that DC has been, as of late, dropping hints that Dick might be bisexual.

That on it's own doesn't mean anything, but when paired with the fact that DC has been angling toward giving Dick a similar playboy persona that Bruce has, just with men included, it's just very interesting.

(BTW: The likelihood DC actually commits to making Dick bi is, uh, not a lot, but if they're gonna stick with this weird closet stuff for a while, let's hope they do so in a way that doesn't make him sound like a cross between Donald Trump and Harry Styles next time? Please?)

Anyway, all of this is basically to say I am forever fascinated by the gender dynamics of Dick Grayson, likely due to the fact that I'm projecting all my eldest daughter traumas onto him, and that someone who's background is in Gender Studies needs to get on this shit if they haven't already. I just love this character sm.

[ao3feed-brucewayne]

Hero Worship in Blood

by TainedClover 'Good intentions pave the road to Hell.' When Nightwing saves a girl from being murdered by her boyfriend, she immediately feels gratitude for his act of heroism in saving her life, to the point of feeling indebted to him. However, what if this gratitude turns into something much darker? Something cruel? Obsessive. What if saving that girl forever changes Nightwing's life for the worse? Maybe he should have left her to rot that night. Words: 3689, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: Gen Characters: Dick Grayson, Original Characters, Jason Todd, Tim Drake (DCU), Bruce Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Batfamily Members (DCU), Damian Wayne Relationships: Dick Grayson & Original Character(s), Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson, Dick Grayson & Damian Wayne, Batfamily Members & Dick Grayson Additional Tags: Angst, Hurt Dick Grayson, Dick Grayson is Nightwing, Dick Grayson Needs a Hug, Original Character(s), Domestic Violence, Attempted Murder, Psychological Trauma, Cults, Nightwing gets his own cult, sue me, Insanity, Magic, Obsessive Behavior, Jason Todd is Red Hood, Tim Drake is Red Robin (DCU), Self-Sacrificing Dick Grayson, Dick Grayson-centric, Dick Grayson Has Eldest Daughter Syndrome, Damian Wayne is Robin, Damian Wayne is a Menace, Jason Todd Has Issues, Tim Drake Has Issues (DCU), Dick Grayson Has Issues, Bruce Wayne is Batman, Bruce Wayne Tries to Be a Good Parent, Bruce Wayne is Bad at Feelings, Bad Parent Bruce Wayne, Good Parent Bruce Wayne, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Assault, Original Character-centric, POV Original Female Character, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Additional Warnings In Author's Note via https://ift.tt/wpi3V71

[gffa]

I REALLY LIKED THIS WHOLE THREAD, because Dick is walking such a difficult line here, where he can’t let Bruce run right over them all, he can’t let Bruce order them all back to safety, because people’s lives are on the line and because Bruce would get himself killed trying to take everything on all by himself.  The whole point of what they do is to keep other people safe. So, he refuses to just walk away, he still jumps into the thick of things to help get people to safety, even when Bruce told him to go be the detective to figure out why this was happening, to get Strange (where there should be no real fighting, where he would be safest, where Bruce wouldn’t have to think about losing his oldest son, too), but he also has to give Bruce something because he can’t just watch his kids go flying into danger, so soon after Tim died. That Bruce needs to be able to protect them somehow, to minimize the risk, because he’ll go nuts if he doesn’t, and it’s just this impossible line for Dick to walk--let Bruce have some control over the situation, but not so much that he forces them all out, like christ alive yeah Dick has Eldest Daughter Syndrome and you see why. There’s a reason Bruce says that he’s the heart of their family, you’re seeing it right here, that Dick will get in Bruce’s face when he’s mad (let us never forget that Dick Grayson will blow a fucking gasket if he gets mad enough and it’s not that hard to do), but he also gets that this is what Bruce needs from them, because nobody else will step up and wrangle this whole shitshow into a place where they don’t all either kill each other or get killed because they’re distracted by each other, all while setting aside what has to be his own grief at Tim’s apparent death and his own frustration at Bruce telling him what to do and his own desire to make his dad happy and his own desire to let Bruce care what happens to him, too. Dick genuinely seems to thrive in this role, he’s not repressing himself, if he wants to say something, he’ll say it, he gains from building up these connections between everyone, but also sometimes I do wonder about when does he have the room to breathe, when does he have time to not be the strong one?  When is it Dick’s turn to get to be a hot mess that someone reaches out to him?  It’s not unheard of, he has his moments, but watching him in this arc, man, it feels like he is setting so much aside and that he thrives from that, but also I can’t help feeling like maybe it costs him a little, too, like he can’t freak out about Tim, because Bruce is busy freaking out about Tim, and someone has to keep them all focused.

[eldest-sibling-tournament]

Seeing all the anti dick grayson propaganda is so funny. Like, forget the fact he almost always wins every poll he's put into. So many people worldwide have pinned him as a poster child for the eldest daughter syndrome™️. I'm an eldest sibling, know both these characters & I've never related more to an elder sibling than I have with Dick. Most of the hate he gets is the fault of fanon portrayals by a section of Tim stans. And yeah, Dean's entire arc is about him being Sam's elder brother but their relationship feels more toxic than nurturing. In comparison, Dick has a more stable relationship with his siblings despite all the shit that's happened.

Also to the Dean stans who keep asking if Dick ever went to hell for his brother or sacrificed shit, Dick has made his fair share of sacrifices but what stands out is that he his decisions are usually made for long term effects. Many of Dean's decisions concerning Sam had spelled more trouble for Sam in the long run. As far as I can remember, Dick doesn't have such an incident to talk of. Tim's situation had been so far exaggerated that most people don't know wants fanon & what's canon at this point. I see others have already discussed it so I'm not gonna rehash.

Ok, this has definitely gone out of hand & I have an exam to study for so I guess that's it. I'm logging off tumblr or I might be tempted to make a wholeass post about this. I just couldn't keep taking the Dick slander from people in every poll he shows up in.

thank you

[damiansgrayson]

seeing your post about trans Robin had me blanking on wait which Robin had we been talking about before I realized it was about HIMYM but it DID make me curious - do you have any trans headcanons about the Robins of the Bat-variety? ;)

hahahaha, i absolutely love the confusion. i wouldn't say trans so much as trans umbrella, depending on your definition, and even still I only have strong feelings about my favorite acrobatic menace.

so tdlr; Dick Grayson is THE MOST genderfluid character in all of Gotham/Bludhaven and arguably DC. (i mean my sideblog title is literally "dick grayson gender envy"). case in point, the below panel:

(shh let me have this)

BUT that being said I'm feral about this boy so if anyone wants to read my very long collected thoughts and links I'm going to have to add a read more here

so this post by @batphobique summarizes all of this way better than i can, with canon panels, but I'll add my own little thoughts

personality-wise: the bird invented Eldest Daughter Syndrome, for one. Also, and while this is my opinion, there is a reason why his closest friendship (that's practically a qpr in some storylines) is with an Amazon like Donna. Dick is one of the few 'men' allowed into Themyscira, largely unsupervised, like seen here during Donna's funeral:

external presentation with the disclaimer that of course anyone of any gender or lack there of can present however, we're just going with a male character historically written by cishet men:

speaking of donna, who he canonically shares clothes with ignoring gender difference:

his insane ability to pull off long hair when it's not tied back:

There's the discowing suit that at least for the era was probably the 'sluttiest' male uniform in the universe at the time? look at that cleavage!! + his infamous booty that even cishet men get mad about if drawn incorrectly

everyone say ty nicola scott:

the way he can sit like a lady and yet man-spread the next in one scene:

the truly unnecessary dramatic gay need to stand like this:

or to fall like this:

other miscellaneous vibes: His most current Nightwing run features a few covers in trans flag colors 1/2, and additionally he's generally featured in DC Pride on Variant covers for no explicitly stated reason??

and while I do prefer to hc him as genderfluid, there is the hilarity of an ftm man going by the name Dick. (also see: BOY wonder)

[zerogravityinq]

you know, thinking on it, i think my little side story with stories about the batkids interacting is unintentionally highlighting a point a commenter made.

Dick, in my verse, isn't the Eldest Daughter. He isn't carrying Atlas' weight as he is in canon. Like yeah, he's the oldest but he doesn't have to play big brother/dad/therapist at the same time. Harry is there and competent. They have a therapist thus working on Bruce becoming a better parent [and he got in some practice with Tom] so this Dick is a bit of a loose end.

When you strip away the prevalent Eldest Daughter Syndrome from Dick Grayson then what is left?

This is getting into spoiler territory so under the cut it goes.

Dick doesn't have a big blow up with Bruce. He doesn't run away to form the titans. He does form the Titans and he still want independence but its more of a graduation from being a sidekick to a full hero than a breaking off because he's tired of the role. He stops being Robin at 17 the same age Tom stops being Wixan. Because 17 is the age of adulthood in the wizarding world and Tom wants to go to Brazil to go to University and oh Dick, do you want to come with?

Not only does he have younger siblings that look up to him so he doesn't want to argue with their dad in front of him. Both Harry and Tom soothe over a lot of hurt feelings. For all Dick isn't like super into harry [he still resents him for not saving his parents] he does soften up a bit since Harry pushes Bruce to let Dick be more independent especially the closer he gets to 17. Tom just flips of Bruce and Harry and takes Dick whereever because he isn't neither of their kids and Bruce can't stop him. [mind, he does this strategically because he does get on with Bruce but if the boyfie says he wants to go to Disney Land, you fuckin apparate your boyfie to anaheim dammit.]

I also want to point out that Robin was never Batman's partner. Magus is. So he doesn't feel like Bruce is just seeing him as a child because he was ALWAYS the kid sidekick. Canon Dick sees himself as Batman's partner. This one does not. If anyone he is partner to, its Wixan.

This changes a lot of dynamics with the whole batfam not just Dick. With Bruce having an adult partner from day one that does not put up with his fuckshit and ready to call him out, its leaning more towards WFA [like i wanted] but not so sickly sweet or glazing over character points like it does [i hope].

[bluegarners]

solar flares sounds interesting!!! maybe i just crave dick angst but 🤷‍♀️

hellooooo nonny!! all i tend to think about is dick grayson in angsty scenarios so you and me are like a pair of socks <3

solar flares is something i have had in my head for a looooooong time. like, way longer than most of my other ideas for fics. almost a year at this point? and for whatever reason i never thought to actually write anything for it... until now! i'm joining a big bang thing year and since i have to submit an entry, i've begun devoting more time to the idea

i have a feeling, nonny, that you (like me) have feelings about eldest daughter dick grayson and that's why you asked about it. lemme tell you, it lives rent free in my mind. there's just so much to think about that concept in relation to his character bc although dick doesn't exactly align with the syndrome (how can he considering that canon doesn't really let him have that kind of relationship with the bat-members bc, even with this new era trying to build them up as a family, it just- doesn't work) i like to project on my blorbos and there's a lot of things about his characterization that matches up in my mind with it

here's a snippet!

“I mean,” Jason continues, “when was the last time Batman did something like that? It was creepy. God, ‘Wing, he even gave me an emergency receiver. Asked me to call him if I needed anything.” At Dick’s stare, Jason barks out a harsh laugh. “Right? What the fuck?”

Dick’s mouth is dry, tasting sour and grimy. He scoots away from the edge and crosses his legs, one over the other. Jason is still muttering to himself but Dick can’t process any of it properly. All he wants to do is scratch at his arms, the itch overwhelming, but he clenches his fingers together and breathes deeply through his nose. The air is thick and polluted. He’s trying to stay away from Gotham. He thinks the air might be making him sick.

wip tag game

[laiosynth]

LITERALLY !!!! like.

people really REALLY FUCKIN STRETCH what "tough love" and "normal sibling behavior" are to excuse their own actions towards their siblings. i mean

normal sibling behavior IS:

consensual, reciprocated roughhousing where nobody is really getting hurt.

being annoyed at your siblings and sometimes snapping at them because you live in the same house and you're human

teasing and fighting with your sibling/s on terms that YOU BOTH UNDERSTAND

banter

normal sibling behavior is NOT:

beating on your siblings. unreciprocated roughousing. HURTING your siblings.

being completely intolerant of your sibling's presence at all, yelling at your sibling for being in the same room as you and existing, yelling at them for inconsequential things and small mistakes

picking fights with and teasing your sibling in terms that they don't understand is teasing or can't reciprocate.

genuine screaming matches and huge fights on the regular.

"eldest daughter syndrome" can refer to a lot of things but usually can be defined something like this:

"the state or condition caused by being the eldest sibling in the house, usually the eldest daughter, and being overburdened with responsibility and expectation and/or trauma/contention with the parent/s of the house."

when talking about eldest daughter syndrome, the conversation almost always, in context, revolves around the consequences of it. (ie, the consequences of expectation and parental contention). we say dick grayson, nightwing, has eldest daughter syndrome specifically because of the experiences and responsibilities and expectations he is held to: when batman is gone, dick is expected to not only take up his mantle, but to also take up the care of his children, his home, and his work. big emphasis on "children" there-- dick is expected to take care of and responsibility for his younger siblings.

dick's "eldest daughter syndrome" refers to his learned and uncontrolled tendencies to automatically assume responsibility and care for his younger siblings and the situations he is in as a whole, and the stress and burnout that brings him.

looping back around to marnie (OP)'s original point:

if you are someone who legitimately hates your younger siblings, or abuses them/hurts them intentionally under the guise of "normal sibling behavior", you should not be saying you have eldest daughter syndrome. it normalizes this kind of sibling abuse and minimizes the actual issue at hand of the parentification and burnout eldest siblings, and per the name, especially eldest daughters, face.

i sincerely hope you can break the cycle of abuse and fix your relationship with your siblings, because when that's lost, it is very hard to get back.

Can't stand niggas who say they have 'eldest daughter syndrome' and then abuse their younger siblings under the guise of 'tough love/normal sibling behavior' fr.Gworl that's not Eldest Daughter Syndrome,that's Becoming Your Parents Disease

@jellyjays

[thatstheproblemwithnapkinman]

new fic time

you can read it below the cut here on tumblr or over on ao3

I'm Stuck in this Life, and I'm Stuck in these Pants

Rating:

Not Rated

Archive Warning:

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Category:

Gen

Fandoms:

Batman - All Media Types

Justice League - All Media Types

Relationship:

Dick Grayson & Bruce Wayne

Characters:

Bruce Wayne

Dick Grayson

Clark Kent

Justice League (DCU)

Additional Tags:

Emotional Hurt/Comfort

its crack and hurt/comfort so have fun with that

enjoy the whiplash

no beta we die like jason todd

Dick Grayson Needs a Hug

Dick Grayson Gets a Hug

Dick Grayson joins the Justice League

Hurt Dick Grayson

Dick Grayson Has Eldest Daughter Syndrome

Probably ooc

Bruce Wayne is Trying to be a Good Dad

One Shot

Language: English

Summary:

"Do you want me to join the League?" The League would assume it was an open question, but Bruce knew it was directed at him. This moment was in complete contrast to years of conversations about protecting their identities and keeping their former partnership a secret. He needed to speak up.

"You are one of the best, you deserve the right to choose." He responded, consciously keeping his voice in Batman mode.

aka Dick get chosen to join the League but before he does he has to face his inner demons

Notes:

this started as a crack fic and became hurt/comfort so be aware, it's also the longest single chapter work i have every written at 6082 which is short for some people but me and my adhd tried no beta reader obviously so any mistakes are there for good now. i did a sweep but again, it's tagged and i've warned you so no telling me i spelt something wrong or used the wrong version of there ok *points at you*

Bruce had been working with the Justice League for over a decade, taking solo heroes and turning them into a team. They knew each other's strengths and weaknesses and can bounce off of one another during combat. It took time but they truly were a single unit. He's proud of what they have accomplished.

The rest of the League weren't on the same page. Sure, they all worked well together, but then there's Batman. He kept to himself, was never on the watchtower when he wasn't needed, constantly avoided talking about himself, and looked like he hated being with them. After years of working together, everyone had revealed their identities, some by choice, some accidental. Everyone but Batman. No one in the League knew who he was. They knew very little about him, other than that he's completely human (probably) and that he's from gotham. He doesn't even let them in his city, with strict rules about them working there. something about "human rogues" and "dangerous for supers". They disagreed with the rule, but without explicit permission from him, they couldn't enter. And no one was about to argue with him.

The time had come to propose new members for the League. Everyone was allowed to submit up to one person to join, and unless there were any serious objections, they would put it to a vote and the person with the most votes would join the League, provided they wanted to of course. But no one had ever turned down their offer before, who would refuse to join the Justice League?

The majority of the League didn't put anyone forward. Barry had suggested Wally, not as a new member but as his replacement given he was looking to retire from the hero game, and given that Wally had left the Titans recently, was available. Batman had said that would be discussed separately at a second meeting as replacements were a different conversation. No one had spoken otherwise, until the nominations got around to Superman.

"I do have a nomination this year. I've worked with this person a lot and I believe they would be an excellent addition to the League. They have been in the game for almost 10 years and protect an entire city on their own. He truly is one of the best."

A chill went down his spine and Bruce suppressed a shudder. That could apply to multiple people, a lot of heroes have been around for a while. But very few were responsible for a city, and there was only one person he knew that was close with Superman.

“I nominate Nightwing for the League."

Honestly, he was surprised it took this long for Dick to get nominated. He was one of the most capable heroes out there, having worked alongside the League before as both an independent hero and as the leader of the Titans. He worked well with others, as Bruce would know given he was Robin for a decade. He trusted no one more in the world. Batman fought well with the League, but he was constantly thinking about how to work with their moves. watching himself and others, predicting what they would do so he could make sure he wasn't interfered with. But with Nightwing he could just fight. They knew exactly how the other would move, and on instinct could follow through. He knew they would both protect each other.

"...Batman?" Superman broke him out of thought

"Hn"

"Do you object?"

Having him on the team would mean he wasn't alone. He had someone there that immediately understood his plan and was much better at communicating with the others. He would be a bridge, a bridge that provided support for everyone. Bruce would also have an excuse to work with him more. He did sometimes miss the conversations they would have in the field, the snarky jabs at rouges, the smile on his face whenever he managed to make Bruce laugh.

But having Dick on the team put them at risk. It wouldn't be too hard for the League to figure out that they knew each other. They could dig and find a connection to Gotham and then to everyone else. Maybe something he'd say would cause a memory to resurface for one of them, a memory of Batman during the time when Dick wore the cowl, and they could see that Nightwing happened to disappear during that time. It was too risky.

He opened his mouth to object, but no sound came out. Dick had taught him a lot, one of which was to trust him. Dick was his own hero now, and he could weigh up the decision. He deserved the chance.

"No."

"Ok then, as no one else was nominated, that negates voting. Batman, could you give him watchtower access and request him?"

Trying to figure out how he could manage this, he got up and moved over to the console on the side. Dick had watchtower access, they all did, but he went through the process of giving it anyway, all it did was throw you a message saying they already had it, which Bruce dismissed. That was the easy part. bracing himself, he tuned into the comms.

"Oracle."

"What's up batman?" Babs always cloaked her voice, even on the bat exclusive channels, but he could still make out her speech pattern and a sliver of her accent.

"I need you to relay to Nightwing that he is requested in the watchtower."

"Y- yeah." The surprise wasn't hidden at all. "Everything ok? Do you need me to send it to anyone else?"

"No."

"Right, I'll let him know." Static on the line told Bruce that Dick was in the same room and they were discussing it. He was in Gotham that night, helping out while Bruce was with the League, and must have stopped into the watchtower. "Yeah, ok, he's on his way now."

Bruce hung up. He felt bad not thanking her but he had an image to uphold. The League all thought oracle was an AI program, and it would be weird. Not for someone like Clark, who would thank automatic doors half the time. But Batman? People would be worried.

He'd barely made it back to the table when the zeta-tube whirred to life.

"Entering, Nightwing, B-01"

"Wait, hold up, there's a B?"

"I know he isn't Titan anymore but weren't they T?"

"That was really fast, like he was expecting it..."

Bruce tuned them out and turned to face his former partner, now only a few feet away.

"So... why exactly was I requested?"

Complete confidence in his voice. If Bruce didn't know him, he would assume he was comfortable. But he could see the minor tension held in his chest, the way he rubbed his thumb along the side of his index finger, how his footsteps were almost silent to not disturb. Dick was confused, curious, and concerned.

Superman stood up. "We held nominations for a new member, and your name was put forward. We deliberated and would like to extend an invitation to join the League."

Dick stood there. He was completely still and looked in shock, and was staring directly at Bruce. They could see each other's eyes behind their dominoes thanks to the lenses in them, so he could see Dicks locked onto him, narrowed as if to ask 'what the hell is going on?'. If he hadn't opened his mouth, Bruce would've walked over to check on him.

"Do you want me to join the League?" The League would assume it was an open question, but Bruce knew it was directed at him. This moment was in complete contrast to years of conversations about protecting their identities and keeping their former partnership a secret. He needed to speak up.

"You are one of the best, you deserve the right to choose." He responded, consciously keeping his voice in Batman mode.

He was so proud of what Dick had become. He'd outgrown Robin, had gone far beyond what Batman could be, and had truly become the best. No matter how much he tries, it's hard to keep the affection he had out of his tone.

Dick noticed, and softened his posture. He started towards him and Bruce felt the League tense behind him. Normally he wouldn't allow anyone that close without reason, yet to them, here he was, letting this almost stranger into his personal space. Ignoring them, his eyes remained locked onto Dick until he was alongside him, forcing Bruce to turn around and face the League.

Every set of eyes was on him as Nightwing clapped him on the shoulder. The last person who'd tried anything like that had ended up with a batarang in their hand. Batman wasn't a people person and that was to be respected. The rest of the League tensed, prepared for bloodshed that would never come.

"Well, if Big Batsy over here gave me the stamp of approval, I would be insane to reject it immediately, although I am going to need some time to consider."

The majority of the room looked shell shocked as Bruce took his seat and Dick shuffled to stand behind him, resting his arms on Bruce's shoulders.

"I mean, this is a very big decision and I would at least like to discuss it with my team."

Flash spoke up. "But I thought you left the Titans? Wally said it was something about trust issues."

Dick snorted.

"Wally’s right, the endless debates about identities and how valuable they can be started to get on my nerves. If you must know, we disagreed on if I can be truly trusted without revealing my identity, so I chose to leave, along with Wally and Donna. With B over here, I assume you don't share their sentiments." He tugged on the bat ears as he spoke, a gesture he'd been doing since he was Robin, and something they both found comfort in.

The League was still in shock over how Batman was letting someone be near him, let alone play with his cowl. Bruce should've stopped him, kept up the act, but he was tired and he was happy Dick was this comfortable around him, after all the time they spent at a distance.

He sensed the rouse of working alone was coming to an end

Dick was having too much fun.

Sure, he was honoured for the invite, but messing with Bruce in front of the League was an opportunity he couldn't pass up. Of course, he wouldn't jeopardise their identities, but just getting to poke the bear would bring him so much joy. Making the Justice League lose their minds watching this random hero from Blüdhaven get close and personal with Batman and walking away unscathed was the highlight of the year, and it was clear Bruce was also enjoying it.

Well, he was tolerating it, which meant he found comfort in it and didn't growl at him.

He'd take it, after all the years they spent at each other's throats. Dick's later teenage years as both Robin and Nightwing hadn't been the most pleasant. He was a teenaged boy who'd spent every day at school and then came home to be ordered around. He needed his freedom and he'd gotten it, albeit by less than peaceful means. But after he came to terms with being fired, and had recovered from Jason's death, he'd started mending their relationship, and now they were closer than they'd ever been. So he was absolutely going to stand too close to Batman and put the League on edge.

It was even funnier given he'd met most of them before, back when he was Batman. Not that they'd know it, he made an excellent brooding, works alone, Dark Knight Batman. Even as he actively worked with Damian, Tim, Steph, and Babs. But he'd kept up the mythos, kept everything in the dark, and had seamlessly given the mantle back to Bruce once he was ready. As far as the League was concerned, he'd never been here before and was no different than the other ex-Titans.

At least, he hoped that. A hope that was crushed when Hal Jordan opened his mouth.

"Ok, but explain why you have the code B-01 for the zeta tube? The Titans were under T, and as far as I am aware, no one was under B."

This is where the real fun begins.

"Yeah, I've asked B the same thing, but he said it was due to clearance issues, that T had restrictions and I needed to be separate from that. I'm honestly surprised he didn't just throw me in with you guys, make me like 3-6 or something, but he's paranoid and didn't want to risk anyone finding it so..."

This seemed to confuse him more.

"What kind of clearance?"

Dick walked around the side to lean against Bruce, folding his arms and crossing his right leg behind his left.

"Oh, y'know, being able to use the Gotham tubes."

He feigned innocence, knowing the storm that would erupt from those few words. And indeed it did, as shouts echoed around the room in disbelief that someone other than Batman can enter Gotham.

After a few minutes of this, Dick saw something click in Superman's head. Dick had worked with Clark a lot, and had been inspired to take the name Nightwing from him. Clark was the only member of the League that knew Batman had a Robin, although he'd never personally met anyone besides Dick and probably assumed Batman worked alone now. He also knew Clark hadn't pieced together that Nightwing was that Robin, which was surprising given he took his name from a Kryptonian myth that Clark had told him once. But we see what we want to see and as far as everyone was concerned up until this moment, Batman and Nightwing didn't know each other.

But Clark had seen it. He'd seen Robin tug on Batman's cowl. He'd seen how Robin was the only one Batman allowed to get near him. He'd seen Robin's eyes light up telling him the story of Nightwing and Flamebird. Nightwing was Robin. An older, stronger, all-round better fighter and strategist, but still the same little shit he'd always been. The Man of Steel had finally figured it out.

"Robin?"

Silence fell and everyone turned to face Superman.

"Who?" Barry tilted his head like a dog, a move that almost caused Dick to snort at.

"You know, Robin. Batman and Robin? He used to have a 12 year old kid dressed like a traffic light follow him around everywhere..?"

Nothing.

"Wait, did no one else meet Robin?" all eyes remained locked onto him.

Breaking the silence, Diana, who had been quietly watching this unfold, made her way over and stood next to Batman with tension throughout her body.

"Batman-"

"Hold up, Nightwing still hasn't explained anything, like how he can enter Gotham, and who is this team he has if he isn't a Titan anymore?" 

Dick unfolded his arms and placed his hand on Bruce’s shoulder. He gave a subtle squeeze, asking if he could explain. After a second, Bruce shrugged, the signal for yes.

"When I was 9, B took me in and trained me. He taught me how to fight, but he also showed me how to be a detective. Once he knew I could handle myself and be an asset, he let me go out with him. I chose the name Robin and to wear bright colours. We worked together for a decade before I outgrew being his sidekick and became Nightwing, operating solo in Blüdhaven or with the Titans."

"I thought Robin died..." Superman looked straight at Dick, locking eyes with him as if his mask wasn’t there.

This startled the two of them. Maybe Clark knew more than they thought. Bruce shifted under his hand, letting him know he was there. This was still a tough subject for them both, given how their current standing with Jason was. 

“Well, I’m clearly not dead so… Don’t know what to tell you, Supes.”

Clark furrowed his brows and looked down. The journalist was clearly unsatisfied with that response yet chose to let it go. The rest of the League shuffled around, obviously uncomfortable with the latest development. Dick took that as his cue.

“Welp, with that revelation I shall leave and ponder your offer. Good morrow fair Justice League.” Tipping his head into an incredibly dramatic bow and sweeping his arms out, he turned on his heel and headed for the Zeta Tube. He’d had his fun but the mention of Jason had brought him back to reality and he wanted to leave. A nice, long, warm shower awaited him at home.

Pondering was hard. Dick discovered this as he sat in his shower, the water falling on his face. After making his way back to his apartment in Blüdhaven, he’d climbed out of his suit and straight into the shower as his thoughts finally hit him.

Holy shit, he’d been invited to join the League.

He knew he’d been a vigilante for longer than most of the members, save for Batman, Superman, and Captain Marvel. But that still didn’t diminish that fact he was chosen to join THE superhero team. 

Dick loved being on a team. He was a leader by nature but he also liked bouncing ideas between people. He knew he wouldn’t be in a leadership position but he wouldn’t be seen as less. He would be an equal and that was all he needed. Besides, he would be working with Bruce, someone that knew his abilities and just how useful he could be. 

“Oh. Ok, that need for approval will be promptly filed away in the ‘things to bring up in therapy’ folder,” he mumbled to himself. He’d been working on his people pleasing tendencies and desperate need to prove himself and be more, yet clearly not enough. Wally called it his ‘eldest daughter syndrome’ and he couldn’t really disagree. He did put the weight of the world on his shoulders sometimes. But this was why he needed a team, people who he could rely on when needed. People who could help remove some of that weight. People he could trust. The trust issues that came with being a bat never really go away, huh.

He stood up, turning the shower off, and wrapped himself in a towel. There was no point in thinking about it any further. His answer was obvious. He opened the bathroom door and made his way into the main room, where Batman was waiting for him.

“You are so lucky I put a towel on.”

Bruce grunted. Dick rolled his eyes in response.

“Seriously, I could’ve walked out with nothing on and that would have been traumatising to both of us. Imagine me having to explain to everyone why you can’t look at me, how embarrassing that would be.”

“Hn. I came to congratulate you.” Dick couldn’t stop the smile that crept onto his lips at that.

“Thanks B. I'm still a little shocked if I’m being honest. I know I’m not an unknown vigilante, but not only being noticed, but getting nominated and accepted is a big deal.”

Bruce stepped closer, pulling his cowl down and placing his hand on Dick’s shoulder. Dick looked down at the ground, sheepish in the face of actual affection.

“Dick, you have been doing this for longer than almost everyone. You’ve helped save the world countless times and been a beacon of light and hope. Not only to the rest of the world but to me too.”

His head snapped up and he met Bruce’s eyes. After a second it was Bruce that looked down at the floor.

“I know I haven’t always been the best, firing you and acting the way I did after Jason… But you have made me proud, Dick, never forget that.”

Almost without thinking, Dick wrapped his arms around Bruce. Since he’d become Nightwing, they hadn’t been very affectionate with each other. They never really were but when he lived at the manor, when he was Robin, he would find comfort in Bruce’s arms after a bad night on patrol or after he woke from a nightmare. This was one of the few moments of vulnerability they shared and Dick knew to let himself fall into it. He felt pressure on his back, and he was enveloped in the embrace. He didn’t want to let go but knew Bruce wouldn’t if he kept hold. He almost didn’t, wanting to keep this moment going, but Batman had important work to do tonight. Gotham wouldn’t stay quiet for long. 

As if the powers of the universe were listening, beeping echoed from the cowl and the two separated. Bruce grabbed the comm and listened to whatever was going down, before turning to Dick.

“Don’t feel like you must rush this. I trust your judgement and know whatever you decide will be the right choice.” He moved back towards Dick before hesitating. Dick wasn’t sure what he wanted, but after a few seconds, he found his hair being ruffled. Just like when he was Robin. 

The pressure left and with a breeze, Batman was gone. Dick debated throwing his suit on and going to help, but he’d had a long day and needed the sleep. He would catch up with Bruce in the morning, after filing ‘Wanting the feelings he had as Robin’ to his therapy list.

“Has he decided yet?”

Bruce was glad his eyes were covered, otherwise the Flash would’ve seen a very un-Batman-like eyeroll. Wally was settling into the team well after Barry departed a few days prior, but he was clearly impatiently waiting for his best friend to arrive. That is, if Dick chose to join the team at all. It had been a week with no hint of a choice. Bruce didn’t want to push him, this was a big decision, but he also wanted to get the rest of the League to stop asking him. It was as if they were children, poking him and asking ‘are we there yet?’

“He has not, and I will not push him for a response.”

“But he said he would think about it, surely a week is long enough.” Wally paced back and forth as if he was trying to solve a complex math problem. 

“I am aware of that, but it is a big decision.”

“UGH I’m gonna call him, see if I can get him to choose.” He sped over to the tubes, punching in the coordinates for what Bruce assumed was Central City. 

“Recognised, Flash, 0-7.”

“Stupid tower and it’s lack of phone signal. How hard is it to install cell service up here…” His voice fading away as he travelled off the tower, finally giving Bruce room to breathe.

It was his turn for monitor duty, which he was supposed to do with Green Arrow, but had let Oliver off for the night, due to a gala he needed to attend. He himself was supposed to be there but unfortunately Bruce Wayne had come down with a nasty case of the flu and so wouldn’t be attending. The was partly true, Bruce had caught the flu and was suffering because of it, but no one would notice if Batman was quieter than usual. 

The silence he was enjoying was promptly broken by the Zeta Tube announcing the arrival of Clark.

“Entering, Superman, 0-1”

“Hey Batman, how’s the case going?” “Hn.”

“Good good. Don’t worry, I’m just here to pick up something before heading back to work. You’ll be left to your silence again soon.”

Bruce turned back to his files as Clark moved around the Watchtower. Of course, he wasn’t working on the file, but rather keeping track of where Clark was in the room. He was awful at keeping his emotions off his face, and Bruce knew he wanted something. No doubt it was Zeta access to Gotham for the night. Clark was covering the gala for the Planet and even with his speed, it would be quicker to go straight there instead of via Metropolis. He knew Clark was getting closer to him as he moved around, and finally, when he gathered the courage to stand right behind Bruce, did he turn around to face him.

“What do you want, Kal?”

“Well, I wanted to ask if I could have access to the Gotham tubes, just for tonight while I’m working there.” “You can just fly across the bay from Metropolis.”

“I- Yes I can but I would rather no one know Superman was around Gotham, and I believe you do too.”

Bruce sighed, his patented ‘Tired Dad Batman’ sigh as Dick labelled it after he managed to elicit the sigh on many occasions. Clark was right, he definitely didn’t want anyone thinking Superman was operating in Gotham on a night where Batman wasn’t. It would send the wrong impression and risk the exposure of the other Bats. 

“Hn. Fine. You can have one time access to the Tube nearest the Museum.” Bruce got up and made his way to the console.

“Oh, wow, err, thanks.” Clark stammered out as he followed. He started to put in the access code and was almost done when the tube roared into life, the screen showing the connection coming from the Batcave.  Both men turned to face the tube as a human outline started to appear. Bruce let a small smile creep onto his face as the announcement was made.

“Entering, Nightwing, 3-6.”

Dick stepped through onto the Watchtower and was immediately greeted by Bruce and Clark. He threw his iconic grin onto his face and threw his arms out

“Whoops, didn’t realise you guys were using the tube. Sorry about that.”

Clark tilted his head slightly, as Barry had when he’d been invited. Guess it was a midwestern thing. Bruce, however, just turned back to the console as he spoke.

“I see you had Oracle reassign you.” “I figured you were busy.”

“Yes.”

Dick snorted and made his way past Clark, who followed him with his eyes.

“Wait, Nightwing?”

“Yeah?”

“Why are you number 3-6? We don’t have that many members so you should be a lower designation.”

Dick kept the smile on his face. 

“Inside joke, and when Oracle is the one giving me access, I couldn’t not ask.”

Clark looked as if he wanted to pry deeper, but that was cut off by Bruce.

“Superman, you will arrive about three blocks from the museum. I assume you can find your way from there.”

Clark turned back to the tube and nodded. 

“Recognised, Superman, 0-1.”

Then he was gone.

Dick turned to Bruce, and was met with a smile.

“Wally just left. He went to call you.”

“Oh, well I guess I’ll just call him back later. I didn’t come to see him.” Dick shrugged.

“Did you need something, or did you just want to test your new designation?”

“Ha, both. But I knew you were up here and working on the Fear Toxin case and came to offer help. That and tell you my decision. I figured it was pretty obvious I would accept.”

“I wasn’t so sure.” Dick frowned at Bruce. “You’ve just left your team, one you lead, to join one with people that don’t exactly trust you.”

“Hey, they don’t trust you either. Now there’s two of us.” Dick tried to deflect but after almost 20 years, Bruce knew to ignore this.

“I was unsure if you’d want to join a team so soon, let alone one where people already are weary of you. My reputation is something I’ve built but now people know you and I have been working together for a long time. The tension has been higher in the past week. I’m yet to be called out, though I suspect people will attempt to gather information from you on the incorrect assumption that would be easier. I wanted to leave the decision to you, but was tempted to inform you of how it has been in case that would change your mind. I don’t regret offering you a place on the team. If I’m being transparent, I would enjoy having you here, someone I can trust without any hesitation. But I want you to make sure it’s right.”

Dick inhaled sharply. Bruce had thought about this, and was actually being open with him. Since their meeting in his apartment, Dick had thought about it a lot. He’d jumped between joining and not, missing being part of a team but worried about how it would affect him and Bruce. When Wally had told him he’d be replacing Barry as the Flash, including joining the League, Dick had the only serious doubt about it. Not because he didn’t want to be on a team with Wally, he was his best friend. He just didn’t want it becoming another Titans debacle, where he was incredibly close to Wally and Donna, but everyone else questioned him because he hadn’t revealed his identity. 

That hurt. Being a bat meant wearing a mask and protecting your identity for the sake of everyone else. If even one of them was unmasked, it wouldn’t be too hard to figure out the rest. So he never did. He couldn’t risk any of them. He couldn’t risk his family. And in protecting one, he lost another. The Titans slowly withdrew from him, getting more and more combative, and it resulted in a disaster of a mission.

What should’ve been a simple rescue after an earthquake ended up with Dick having to call in Superman to help. His plan had been solid but everyone other than Donna and Wally had abandoned it in a sort of coup. What they hadn’t planned, however, was exactly how the building they were operating around would collapse. Dick had studied the building’s structural integrity using blueprints and footage of the earthquake, and had constructed his plan to evacuate at the right speed and in the right order to minimise extra strain on the weakened foundations. This required to start from the central part of each floor and work outwards, maintaining the balance of the building. This ensured it wouldn’t crumble under the weight down one side. He’d been in the process of explaining this when the team had run off and started rescuing whoever they could access first, which altered the building’s centre of gravity as they shifted piles of rubble, and caused a complete collapse. 

Dick had called Clark immediately, a vulnerable moment where he’d screamed for Superman out of pure fear, who’d helped in recovering the bodies of those that didn’t make it, and after arriving back at Titans Tower, Dick had packed up his stuff and left. He’d dropped his bag at his apartment before going out on his bike. He hadn’t paid attention to where he was driving and the next thing he knew, he was outside the gates to the Manor. Driven there on instinct. He hadn’t gone in, just sat outside for longer than he should’ve, before driving back to Blüdhaven and beating the shit out of some corrupt cops, something that was incredibly cathartic. But part of him regretted not going up to the door and asking if he could stay a while. He missed having people around, and being alone in his apartment didn’t help with his thoughts. He knew it wasn’t his fault the team didn’t listen to him. He did everything he could. But people had died on his watch, and he’d called for help instead of handling it by himself. He was a leader and he’d let everybody down. 

A cough brought him back and he looked up to see Bruce had made his way over and placed his hand on Dicks shoulder. He’d missed it during his spiral, and Bruce had noticed. He could see his eyes through the cowl, new lenses that polarised for each other but no one else, and they were full of concern. Dick hadn’t spiralled like that in front of Bruce for a while and it was clear he was worried.

“I- I’m just thinking about the last mission I had with the Titans. Maybe it was time for me to leave leading behind me.”

“Dick,” Bruce brushed the hair that had fallen onto his face behind his ear. “We can’t always win. Sometimes we try our hardest and we lose. But we have to move on. I know this is hypocritical coming from me, but that’s why we have each other. Me, you, Robin, the Batgirls, everyone else. I know how much it hurts, I know the pain and anger and fear you feel inside. I felt it when you got shot, I felt it when Jason died, and I feel it every time one of you gets injured. But we are there to support each other and keep ourselves from getting lost in that pain. You taught me that. So I’m here to support you, and anyone else here will say the same thing.”

He coughed back his tears. Bruce knew what he was doing but made no move to get closer. That would be on Dicks terms.

“I want to be in the League, but I’m scared of messing up again.”

“You didn’t mess up. Clark told me what happened, how your team ignored your plan and acted in a way that caused the collapse. You then called for help when you knew you couldn’t do anything more. That’s why we are here, to help when needed.” Bruce sighed, but this time it wasn’t out of annoyance for Dick, but annoyance for myself. “I know I trained you to be the best. I know you put so much pressure on yourself to save everyone. To be there for everyone. And I know that is my fault. But you are not capable of saving everyone. No one is. Not me, not Wonder Woman, and not even Superman. That’s why the League has so many members with different strengths. Our strengths fill holes in others weaknesses. You would do that. You’re a natural leader who sees the best in everyone. You have an ability to light up the space and make people feel comfortable. You are one of the smartest people on the planet and could take over the world if you tried. Which, please don’t try to take over the world.”

Dick let out a sob as he laughed.

“I don’t plan on it yet, but if I do I’ll make sure to give you a few minutes' notice before I begin.”

Both men let themselves be vulnerable for a minute, holding each other and laughing. If the other Leaguers had been there, they would’ve lost it at the sight of Batman acting like… a person. The League probably believe all the rumours that Batman is a local cryptid, or maybe they prefer the vampire story. He’ll be able to find out, probably from people asking him about it.

Dick pulled himself back from Bruce and looked back up at him. They’d both been crying, but they both needed it. They’d both learned to be vulnerable sometimes, even if progress was slow. Bruce put his hand back onto Dicks shoulder, steadying himself. They moved apart and he straightened himself out.

“I’ll be okay, B. Besides, the moment someone else walks into the room, I’ll be all happy again.” 

“Dick.” Bruce tried to grumble but he could hear the compassion that lay underneath.

“Ugh, fine, I will deal with it, Mr Hypocritical.” 

Bruce smiled at that, knowing how this discussion would go if it continued. Dick knew it too, and soon they were standing next to each other, staring out the window at Earth.

He bumped Bruce, who bumped him back. It felt so calm, the two of them together. Not as Batman and Robin, but as Bruce and Dick. Father figure and first son. Two decades of fighting together, training together, learning together. He was going to have a lot of fun working with him again, this time as individuals. 

But more than that, he was looking forward to playing the League. He was ready to ruin them, to make them doubt themselves. He wanted to see how far he could go before Batman would step in, and knowing Bruce, it would be pretty far.

He was going to be ok.

Notes:

i hope you didn't hate that, it was a brain worm that bounced around in my head for weeks and i'm glad i was finally able to get it out oh, and the inside joke is that 3-6 is the date dick debuted in the comics, March 6th 1940, so for the non-us americans it would be 6-3 but they are american so... the title is a lyric from inertia by ajr, which i listened to whilst writing this (specifically the acoustic version) it's so good and can be found on youtube or spotify

[psychologeek]

You offered to do some fic recs...I was wondering if you had any angsty DC favorites you could share? gen & finished, please :]

Yes, I have!!!

[if you like my recs, PLZ let me know :) .]

[also - my ask box is still open!]

So, first of all - basically everything written by envysparkler (I started, and figured out half of the fics on my recs were written by envy)

Hurt/Comfort

ghost story by envysparkler

Jason Todd dies in Ethiopia. Well. Kind of

outlast the rain by ScarlettSwordMoon

During a routine patrol, Dick’s glove malfunctions and he almost falls to his death. Bruce redesigns them. Problem solved, right? Only Dick is refusing to take the new pair. AKA Trauma is irrational, but love endures all.

Day 4: Dick Grayson’s Eldest Daughter Syndrome & “Catch me.”

For the City Sweetly Whispers  by Drag0nst0rm

The first time Bruce hears the city speak, he thinks he's losing his mind.

By the time Gotham's killed Dick's parents and forced a nine year old into the Robin suit, he only wishes that were true.

Tim Drake: Myth and Legend by siren_of_the_ocean

2 fics, both very good

between a rock and a hard place by envysparkler

Tim curled up in a ball and shook with several, near-hyperventilating breaths. Jason clenched his hands into fists.

“Hood?” came Nightwing’s tentative check-in, “How’s everything going?”

I’m trapped under a building, he didn’t say. Tim thinks I’m going to murder him, he didn’t say. Get me out of here before I claw my own skin off, he didn’t say.

Vulpes by Snow_Wyvern (warning -it really scared me! It's like the old Grimm's tales)

No human is permitted to see the Animal Court. But Tim, a feral, too-small thing, with tangled hair and teeth that yet remember how to rend, who scrambles about on four legs as often as two because there is no one to lift him to his feet - Tim, who wandered into the nighttime woods and has no one to call him back to the light of human homes - why would the forest have any reason to think him a man-thing?

Liminal Space by Calamityjim

Bruce's habit of collecting strays is not limited by dimension.

Or

When Young Justice Batman comes across an angsty, seemingly abandoned by his Batman Tim Drake, he decides to step up to the plate and parent the crap out of him.

Words: 77,186 (it's a series, this is the first fic).

muzzled by envysparkler, Periazhad

Tim, bound and gagged, listening to a group of people haggle over his fate, is hard-pressed to think of how this situation can get worse.

Then Hood walks in.

reset by Valkirin

Black Mask hires Circe to keep Red Hood out of his way for a week. Circe's spell will only last a week and she doesn't think Batman will notice or care that she placed a time-limited memory spell on a minor criminal.

Fifteen-year-old Jason Todd wakes up in a future he doesn't understand.

fault lines tremble under my glass house by paperxcrowns

In a moment of clarity, Tim remembers his emergency button. He remembers patrol, and he remembers a gang and a shootout.

He uses his free hand to fumble around until he manages to find the chest piece and press the emergency button. His vision is fuzzing at the edges and the last thing he sees is a dark figure leaning over him, a gun pointed at his face.

Well fuck, is his last thought before everything fades to black.

A Recipe for Disaster by  Calypso_Rambles, JUBE514

Titan AU. Red hood came to hurt the baby bird, but find him cooking and grieving his father. FEELS.

Under A Parent's Wing by IzzyMRDB

When Tim found out that Dick Grayson was a gymnastics instructor in Bludhaven, he quickly signed up. After all, learning gymnastics from The Nightwing himself is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

Dick Grayson is more concerned at the obvious signs of child abuse he sees in one of his students.

AKA

Dick Grayson, as a childcare worker, is a mandated reporter who knows how to recognize child abuse in his students. Tim Drake, after a lifetime of fear and confusion, learns to trust adults.

Detainment by DragonflyxParodies

"Do you beat your children?” Bruce asks, voice flat and odd in a way unlike any Hal has ever heard before, and Hal’s blood runs cold, and –

Other Batman’s jaw clenches. He does not answer immediately.

The whole fucking League visibly draws back.

In which Bat has instituted very strict measures for handling alternate versions of himself, and the Justice League finds out why

Family Ties by Wafflesssss

Prepare for a cry.

At ages 15, 12, and 9, Dick, Jason, and Tim had found a home in Wayne Manor. Never mind the fact that Dick was the only one Bruce had legally adopted, and never mind that Tim and Jason's parents had no idea where they spent their time(not that either set cared). The three were brothers, and Bruce was maybe sort of like a dad, and it was perfect.

And then Wayne Manor goes up in flames, and only the kids make it out.

Four years later, Dick is angry, Jason is a vigilante, and Tim is a ghost. When Dick has an encounter with the Red Hood, it sets off a chain of events that could bring all three brothers back together. But, for some reason, Batman has taken an interest in each of them. Why?

I Have Come Back To You Broken (take me home) by LylaRivers

His Replacement stares at him with glassy, unfocused eyes, his begging for mercy long since silenced. Jason doesn’t dare let himself think about how the Replacement had pleaded for Robin to save him.

Mēnin Aeide by ApatheticAthena

Batman has taken personal time off from the Justice League when they capture the notorious Gotham crime lord Red Hood. The league thinks he's just another crazed criminal and Jason is doing absolutely nothing to dissuade them of that notion. In fact, he may be making things worse.

A New Day by Sparkypants

Freshly resurrected, Jason comes back to Gotham with a plan for vengeance and zero interest in reconciling with his family.

Things don't quite work out how he anticipated.

Or;

A different take on Jason coming back to the family.

A Hero Lost by Cdelphiki

When Jason Todd died on that fateful April day, Bruce was tempted to just... stop. To let the world know he was Batman, and that it'd just lost a hero in Jason Todd.

And so he did.

It didn't keep him from mourning the death of his son.

Or: Bruce quits being Batman in the wake of Jason's death, tells the world who he is, then retires to Montana and slowly finds healing. And when Jason comes back to life six months later, and Talia tells him 'you remain unavenged,' he can't find any evidence to support that, so he goes home.

Code of Silence by JHSC (TW: lots of triggers! Mentioned CSA)

Willis Todd doesn’t die in prison. That doesn’t change much, until it does.

Don't All Birds Belong in Boxes? by Maladaptive_Daydreamer

scream out my memories as if i was never there by CosmoKid

Tim realizes that the Red Hood is Jason Todd and makes a snap decision: Tim Drake needs to disappear.

that awful sound by MasterOfMyFateCaptainOfMySoul

Dick Grayson is fed up of losing people. So when the Joker kills Jason, kills his brother, he doesn’t let it slide. It changes quite a few things.

Leaving You For the Last Time (Warwick Avenue) by unpossible

A lot of different ways it can go

(Jason, Trauma, and life)

Other recs:

Jason Todd: The Not-So-Outlaw  by  GoAwayOlivia

Jason Todd isn't what Batman made him, he isn't what the Joker made him, he isn't what the League of Assassins made him, and he isn't what the Lazarus Pit made him. He's his own person and he's taking himself back, one home renovation at a time. Also he might just make friends with the people who are supposed to be his brothers while he's at it.

Contagious by d_aia

Jim didn’t know it, until Maggie barged in, opening his door with such force that it bounced off the wall and broke a glass panel. Whatever he’d wanted object was lost the moment she said, “Somebody killed the Joker.” His first thought was that he expected her to tell him the city was melting down, not to give good news.

His second was, ‘Is the killer worse than Joker?’

*

The Joker's dead. Now what?

(13k words)

Batman and Robin(s) (and Batgirl) (and Oracle) by IzzyMRDB

Simultaneous Robins AU where Bruce is just juggling being a single dad who loves his children very very much.

Ain't No Compass, Ain't No Map by ebjameston for Limnaia, SparrowsNest

A CPS agent gets sent to investigate a tip that Tim Drake has been abandoned by his parents and is living with the Red Hood. The CPS agent leaves with no Tim Drake, a date with Red Hood's lieutenant, and an intern who's promising to fix the IT systems at his office.

It's a weird day for Theo.

There Will Be Darkness Again by dukeaubergine

One of the BEST.

The Toxic Masculinity of a "Hero" by Todd Peters by orphan_account

When Jason gets his newest paper prompt in his Intro to Women and Gender Studies class, he knows just who he wants to write about.

Like Going Through Hell on a Sunday by probablyanxious

Jason Todd has to bring Damian to Gotham for his protection, meets Billy along the way and just doesn't know how he's supposed to keep these kids safe while dealing with his trauma (aka killing that damn clown)

[throwntothevoid]

My brain is obsessed with eldest daughter/older sister Athanasia.

We all know that Dick Grayson is the eldest daughter of the Batfamily. Now I present to you Athanasia Al Ghul eldest grandchild of the Al Ghul family.

The eldest daughter role in a family as chaotic as the Al-Ghul’s?

She becomes the sassy eldest daughter who calls out her mother and grandfather on all their bullshit. Athanasia has purposefully pissed off Ra’s Al Ghul for shits and kicks. She will openly point out all the flaws in her grandfathers dynasty with no remorse. 

Athanasia will talk back to Ra’s Al Ghul. Take the punishment. Then continue the back talk at a later date. 

Talia and Athanasia have a complicated relationship. Athanasia is angry at Talia for treating Damian like a prince while Talia is a hundred times harder on Athanasia than she is on Damian. A mother who treats their daughters differently from their sons? The true conflict of eldest daughter syndrome. 

Eventually tries to help the kids in her family to move past the family legacy. 

She unwillingly becomes the emotional support “adult” of several assassin children (Demon’s Fist etc). And no, she will vehemently refuse that she has taken assassin children under her wing because she has NOT inherited her father’s adoption problem. She will stab a person if they even insinuate that.

Though Athanasia will also stab anyone who harms her assassin children. 

Athanasia will sass her family and yell at them when they are pulling psychotic shit.

At first when she first meets Bruce and the rest of the Batfamily she tries not to get attached. Because she doesn’t need anymore family drama. Very tired of dealing with it from her Demon Family. Does not want to have to deal with it from the Bats too. 

She is unsuccessful in this endeavour and ends up angrily calling out Bruce on all his shit towards his family. I mean a daughter who has inherited her father’s stubbornness and the combination of both the Demons and Bats rage? 

Bruce never stood a chance.  

Notes: Honestly Athanasia “eldest daughter syndrome” Al Ghul has been stuck in my head for a long time. But I have no idea how to make her exist before Damian. So this headcanon will only exist in my mind

[ao3feed-brucewayne]

Everything goes away

by blingbland What is Hood doing here? They had a truce. They don’t bother Hood, Hood doesn’t bother them. Dick had been-- happy. With the terms. Happy that he didn’t have to worry about finding his surviving brother broken and bleeding on the ground again. Happy that he didn’t have to watch Hood spit in the face of everything Jason believed in, happy that he can pretend that Hood never appeared in the first place. That his little brother didn’t come back so horribly, horribly wrong. Hood’s gun shines where it points at the Clock King’s face, and Dick does his best to hold back the urge to vomit. Dick lets out a long, slow breath, “Hood–” Hood flinches, “Night–” Pain explodes in his back, and his world goes white. He wakes up in the Titans tower.   Or   Dick accidentally gets sent back five years in the past, before Jason died. It's up to him to save his little brother, and maybe learn to see him in a different light. Words: 4271, Chapters: 1/11, Language: English Series: Part 1 of But I'm gonna be here 'til forever, so just call when you're around Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: Gen Characters: Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Tim Drake (DCU), Clock King Relationships: Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Dick Grayson & Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson & Alfred Pennyworth, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson Additional Tags: Time Travel, Dick Grayson Needs a Hug, Good Sibling Dick Grayson, Protective Dick Grayson, Dick Grayson Has Eldest Daughter Syndrome, Jason Todd Needs A Hug, Bruce Wayne Tries to Be a Good Parent, Alfred Pennyworth is the Best, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Jason Todd is Robin, Jason Todd is Red Hood, Adopted Sibling Relationship, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Batfam Big Bang 2024 via https://ift.tt/wVoniXg

[flashflashhundredyarddash]

dick "eldest daughter syndrome" grayson

so dick grayson grows up an only child raised by alfred pennyworth, who is kind but very emotionally distant, and bruce wayne, who is kind but goes through phases where he borders on being emotionally neglectful and also lowkey suicidal

so dick internalizes very early that he is bruce wayne's Normal People Translator and although he can't really articulate this as a kid he is subconsciously aware that he is one of bruce's bullet points on the list bruce wayne keeps which is titled "Reasons for Living" (fellow contenders include alfred, clark, diana, ace, jim gordon)

it's not that bruce is intentionally using dick as an emotional crutch but bruce has kind of lost the baseline of how normal people behave and they are Trauma Bonded because they fight very violent crime every night

because bruce and alfred are dick's baseline for how People behave dick is a very intense person who becomes deeply attached to people very quickly and while he can socialize like a normal person for periods of time once you are Actually Friends with dick grayson/robin you are like wow you are a freak but i still love you

so this is how dick grows up and then when he hits his teens and realizes that he views bruce as a dad and they start fighting more and more dick is like bruce i just NEED you to tell me that you love me and view me as a son and bruce is just INCAPABLE of telling dick this so dick is like fine i am leaving and becoming my own person

cue dick learning emotional growth and finding his found family without being smothered under the weight of batman/bruce

and then one day dick finds out through the news that there is a new robin :)

cue dick grayson suddenly developing eldest daughter syndrome in the span of 0.5 seconds

dick grayson TRIES to be nice to jason but jason makes it SO FUCKING HARD and bruce makes it SO FUCKING HARD but dick doesn't want to tell anyone about his problems BECAUSE DICK SOUNDS SO PETTY IF HE TELLS PEOPLE HIS BILLIONAIRE GUARDIAN ADOPTED ANOTHER ORPHAN KID AND PROBABLY SAVED HIM FROM A LIFE OF DESTITUTION AND CRIME AND ALSO BRUCE IS A GOOD PERSON AND DICK STILL LOVES HIM BUT ALSO DICK IS SO SO ANGRY

but dick isn't allowed to tell people he's angry because he is supposed to be a calm and collected pillar of the superhero community :)

:)

and then jason dies

and dick was the worst big sister ever because maybe if he had been a better person or brother jason would have reached out to dick or bruce and jason wouldn't have died

and then tim

at first with tim it starts out with "I am not going to repeat the same mistakes with Jason" and then dick genuinely just starts to love tim and views him as his little brother

and tim has to deal with an even more emotionally distant and HIGHKEY suicidal bruce so now dick grayson's eldest daughter syndrome has kicked into FULL GEAR so he tries his best to shield tim from it and give tim the emotional support tim needs and dick is still :) not :) angry :) at :) bruce :) about :) it :) because bruce just lost a child and is grieving but bruce you still have two living children right here in front of you BEGGING you to reach out to them and you just won't do it :)

like obvs dick gets angry at bruce about a LOT of things but dick just refuses to acknowledge that the root of it is the obvious emotional neglect so dick is just dealing with symptoms because bruce won't deal with the actual problem

dick isn't all that close with cass initially because Cass is independent and tends to do her own thing more often than not but also her and bruce just Click in a way dick doesn't with bruce and dick is like this :) is :) fine :)

oh look now jason is back from the dead.

cue bruce dying, dick now has to take care of damian, and tim has run off

ELDEST DAUGHTER SYNDROME ELDEST DAUGHTER SYNDROME

now dick is ACTUALLY TAKING CARE OF BRUCE'S YOUNGEST CHILD BUT DICK IS NOT ALLOWED TO BE ANGRY AT BRUCE ABOUT IT BECAUSE BRUCE IS ACTUALLY DEAD THIS TIME AND THE BURDEN OF EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ISN'T FALLING TO DICK SIMPLY BECAUSE BRUCE IS AN ASSHOLE

AND NOW DICK'S DAD IS DEAD AND HE HAS A KID SO DICK IS MENTALLY REPLANNING HIS ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE TO TAKE CARE OF HIM AND TIM IS MISSING AND NOW DICK IS BATMAN AND DESPITE DICK'S BEST FUCKING EFFORTS HE JUST NOW HAS TO SPEND THE REST OF HIS LIFE PICKING UP THE PIECES OF BRUCE'S

WHICH IS THE EXACT FUCKING OPPOSITE OF WHAT DICK WANTED TO DO WITH HIS LIFE

BUT BRUCE IS DEAD SO DICK CAN'T BE ANGRY AT BRUCE BECAUSE IT'S NOT HIS FAULT

(it is a little his fault)

and then bruce comes back

duke sometimes feels like an outsider intruding on the family but dick loves their one-on-one time because dick actually feels like a Proper Big Brother and not like he has to micromanage duke and bruce's relationship which is such a relief

at no point has bruce ever apologized to dick or literally ever reached out to dick barring some Intense and Fraught encounters and dick never says anything to bruce dick just kind of learns to live with it which sucks and is not the ending dick wants but sometimes you just compromise and warp yourself for the sake of people you love. because the tragedy of it is that dick does love his dad but since he's older he has a better support system outside of bruce and knows his limits better

when bruce offers to adopt dick dick is immediately like YES YES YES YES LIKE BRO THAT'S BEEN THE CRUX OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP ISSUES FOR YEARSSSSS

dick grayson kins marcia brady