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....for someone who doesn't like alpha cc I have SO MUCH pralinesims cc. But their eyebrows are so good!

....

*shuffles madlen cc put of sight*

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Of course Res gives me thoughts for my AU when I can't get words out to update it. Fuck.

(under the cut if you wanna avoid AU brainrot)

SO

I haven't established it well in this AU (because I am a shit world builder) that magic consumes a lot of calories and you need a lot to keep up with the metabolic rate of it.

Harry is a little dude - both from childhood starvation, genetic build and, in this AU, being pretty powerful so his metabolic rate is high as fuck. He gets around this by making recipes Molly has given him or having Freya cook his meals. Because even if they cook the exact same thing, a meal made by a muggle (Alfred) and by a magical (Molly, Harry, or Freya in this case) has different caloric density. Molly says it's because it's made with love but the real answer is that wix cooks suffuse their food with magic making the food more dense in calories. Kind of how a muggle could make a potion but it may not be as effective if a wix, potioneer or even a Potion Master. A muggle Gordon Ramsey wouldn't be able to outbrew Severus Snape even working from the same recipe.

Getting back to it, this also explains Voldemort's appearance (in the books) since he would have to eat constantly to maintain that kind of magical output and like Mr No Nose No Hoes would not lower himself to something as plebian as eating, it was likely he just fed off his magic and let his magic keep him going. Honestly of the Order just held out for an extra year or two, he would have just died from Magical Exhaustion but digressing.

Jason is luckily in a good position in this AU as he was saved from a rough childhood relatively early (age 5), his magic came in at a good age (age 6), he was taught how to cook and excels at it and despite being a huge dude with pretty hefty magic (not more powerful than say Tom but has been pretty relentlessly headhunted to join the American and British Auror Corps) he doesn't keep to an extreme diet like Bruce does. He does know, however, if he doesn't eat his metabolism will eat away at his magic.

Conner is in a difficult spot that is 100% my doing 😭 (I do love him I swear) but my boy is a relatively bulky guy, magical to a very noticeable degree (less powerful than Jason but more than Terry or Jazz) AND Kryptonian. His alien bit doesn't need to eat but needs sun. And where does my boy live? Gotham and London. Like the two least sunniest places you can live 😂😂. I'm so sorry Conner but he can fly and he does like apparate to the sun (the maddest of lads) so like... he's fine....mostly....(Nervous laughter)

Damian doesn't notice how he has to scale up his eating but like once he convinced Molly and Freya he didn't need to eat meat, they made a lot of nutrients dense foods for him so he's good.

Terry takes more after Harry in build but isn't as strong as he is in magic (which is fine by him since he's the goddamn Batman) so he doesn't have to eat as much as his wix siblings but like not as strictly as his dad (much to Bruce's relief). He still occasionally has to force himself to eat but it's less of a diet thing and more of a 'i could be doing Batman shit rn' which worries Bruce in a whole other way.

The twins are gremlins that will eat anything not bolted down - literally. The amount of times the rest of the family had to make them cough up a tablet or phone or tv remote or pen or blanket or dumbbell...when the twins are in their 20s. The infuriating part is that they neither gain a pound AND it isn't obvious they ate something big (like that time Lilith ate the Batjet). Long story short, the twins are on some Looney Toons shit. Outside of that, they get their fuel from ectoplasm which Gotham has in abundance or they just cling to Harry since he is the Master of Death and Regent until Danny is of age.

Bruce’s batman diet plan must be wild 😭 like thinking about the early days batman and the hardcore bulking he must’ve done and how he’s maintained and even grown it consistently since

And bc u were talking about old man bruce earlier today too it’s like wow what a man

Thinking about how much he has to eat just to MAINTAIN that level of muscle and activity makes me want to puke. Like I genuinely feel nauseous considering his exercise plan. Just nonstop bulking at peak capacity and activity for months if not years, and then decades of MAINTAINING that? He must hate food. Genuinely. It’s all fuel to him, barely enjoyable if even that.

I’m sure someone in the JL jokes about “bulking up like you, man” and Bruce is just dying of laughter inside. Sure, man. Go home and eat sixteen chicken breasts and then run in heavy armor until sunrise; you’ll get about halfway through his daily regimen.

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Y'all really out here letting a bitch find out about bitching but not studding?! Ayo????

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i keep including Tom when I talk about the batkids despite his vehement denial that he is NOT a child of Bruce or Harry but like....homie....you all but adopted Tim, your Cain Instinct activates within 10 feet of Jason, you go into Teacher Mode when Conner has a question, you have pulled Damian under your wing once he is sorted and you totally are the 'drive or apparate them anywhere brother for Cass, Harper and Cullen. Be So ffr my dude.

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On the eve of the new season starting I wanna talk about baby.

As in who the older kids consider as their "baby" you know, the one they let get away with anything and are around the most.

Tom, the most obvious, has Tim. He literally brought Tim into the family so no surprises there but secondly he claimed Cullen and Damian as his. Cullen because he's pretty serene and Damian because of his relationship with Tim (see below) and he has to mentor the little Slytherin.

Dick has Terry. Not only Terry was made to test of it's viable for him and Tom to have a kid via ritual but he genuinely adores Terry. Other babies are Tim (by Tom association) and Danny.

Cass latches onto Harper but her actual baby is Lilith. She was still unsure about children when Terry was born (and wasn't in the family when Damian was born) but she adores Lilith who is beyond willful but determinedly goes to be around her big sister because Cass lets her get away with a lot....and has similar vibes as her Dad.

Jason's baby is actually Conner but everyone thinks it's Damian or Lilith. They aren't completely wrong because he does claim Lilith since she's a whole gremlin but Conner was the first one to make him feel like an actual big brother. His other baby is Terry. He just connects with him a lot for some reason.

Harper's baby is obviously Cullen but also Danny. Danny who is deep into tinkering like she is is up there in terms of her favorite and their exploits building things are legendary (we are not talking about the sentient Batmobiles that managed to mate...somehow).

Conner's baby is the twins. He connects with them the most and loves teaching them how to use their powers once they kick in (read: taking them flying til they tire and carrying them back at full speed since it won't bother them like it would his more squishy friends and family). Aside from them he really likes Damian and one of the few who can get physically close to him when he is rescued.

Considering canon, Tim's baby is a surprise: Damian. Tim was devastated when Damian was taken, blaming himself for not being there to stop them (despite being 10 and untrained). He was the first that was able to connect with Damian when he was returned. Maybe Damian had some memory of Tim's care when he was a baby or he just wanted to connect to someone who wasn't trying to pressure him into being what he was. In any case they swiftly became close again and Damian was beyond furious when Tim was harmed by Chemist Joker. He expressed this fury by throwing himself into helping Tim recover, sticking to him like Velcro.

Cullen's baby is Terry. They just vibe well.

Damian's baby is also Terry but also Lilith.

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4chan coming in clutch once again with proper recs for lewd cc fuck yeah

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Yes I did

I have to set up WW the way I want and get some cc (for knots and etc) but yeah it's a thing

Why did I look for an omegaverse mod for Sims 4

How will I stop myself from recreating ASOH in Sims 4

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Why did I look for an omegaverse mod for Sims 4

How will I stop myself from recreating ASOH in Sims 4

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i am really sitting here dumb unsurprise that this company, who had a ton of red flags to me, mcguyvered a reason to like low key fire me before i actually got out of training.

on the silver lining i am more than awake enough to get my ficts ready and to cc shop to get my femboy stepford wife ready for prime time.

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Sims team you don't understand. I don't want this man to have aspirations I want him to be a slut and pop out babies COME ON

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Me: I am not going to create a femboy stepford wife in the Sims 4 just to try out sex mods that's so trite and boring and-

Me, hours later:

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Brb screaming into the void about The Broken Ring

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Must....resist....making....femboy stepford tradwife....in sims...

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Fict writers I got a question.

Fanfiction isn't just in English so yes other language ficts exist. Aside from the fandom being small in your native tongue, if you don't write in your first language, why don't you?

(also love and shout-out to those who do write in their first language. I use Google translate (because I am a dumb American who only speaks English) or look for someone who translated it into English to read it. Feel free to rec ficts to me for ficts in the Batman, Danny Phantom, sailor moon, Yuri on ice or Harry Potter fandom)

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For all Tom was unsure about having a little brother, Jason and Tom are the best iteration of 'the Cain Instinct' that brings nostalgia to any given Weasley.

Tom: *walks in den, backhands Jason who was sitting there chatting with Charlie* Hey bitch

Jason "my Mamas ain't raise no bitch" Potter: *suplexea Tom* whaddaya want Cunt?

Tom "has dived from the 10th floor of Wayne Tower to double knee drop Riddler" Grayson: *roundhouse kicks Jason* One of your goons is fucking with my Case. not Bill but the new one, Chet.

Jason: *puts Tom in a headlock* Chet, Chet...you sure you don't mean Chad?

Tom: *throws Jason onto coffee table* Ah Chad, yeah him. He's been caught trafficking.

Jason: *punches Tom in the kneecap* Huh, well he's dead. Tell Jazz what he did.

Tom: *helps Jason up* Right then.

Charlie: you two bring back fond memories

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"Harry is terrifying in the way that everything is instinctual to him, and he is a pragmatist that makes him very well matched to Bruce. But unlike Bruce he's not working with genius level intellect - not to call him stupid - but a willfulness and a deep store of magic meaning if he wants it badly enough, it will be. That is a great thing to have if he's your ally, but I have had the acute misfortune to be on the other end."

-- Clark explaining why he fears Harry far more than he fears Bruce. Because Batman will show him mercy, but Magus might not.

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At this rate I am just going to use Final Crisis for my series because why are all the crisis stories so much like the fuck you mean Superboy Prime punched the Universe and Oa isn't the center of the universe (it was before???) and Hal Jordan is revived and just what the fuck